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#this is incredibly impressive
spookberry · 6 months
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Theyre like .2 seconds away from getting yelled at for sitting on some zombies grave
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egophiliac · 10 months
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redesigning my headcanon for Sebek's parents, based on important new information (SCALES)
(you can't see it but they're both wearing crocs)
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lovesickeros · 7 months
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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 2 ]
{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ]
This had to be a punishment of some sort – some kind of divine punishment.
She was bored out of her mind just watching the sleeping body – she hadn't blinked once in the past five hours, her eyes were really starting to hurt. Yet they still hadn't moved so much as an inch since she sequestered them away to the only place she had known to be safe.
But it'd been almost a week since then.
The only solace she found was that Teyvat had seemed much less hellbent on collapsing in on itself like a dying star.
That counted for something.
Not much, but something!
..Even if their position was no better then it was a week ago.
There was, after all, still the issue of what to do about the false Creator – the actual imposter – and the Archons following them like blind lambs. The other Archons wouldn't listen if she tried to reason with them, and it would only risk the life of Divine One if she spoke of their location to anyone else.
She also was pretty fond of having her head still attached to her shoulders.
So she avoided them all together. Partially because she wasn't sure she wouldn't have a breakdown at the sight of them..she'd never been a fighter, and fighting an Archon? Easy pass.
Instead she was forced to babysit the sleeping Divine until they woke up while Neuvillette handled taking care of the nation and dealing with the other Archons – and by extension the false Creator.
Really though, she would almost think them dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of their chest.
Though..this also left her with a lot of time to herself. A lot of time to think.
She really didn't like it.
There wasn't a lot to occupy her mind and what little there was only distracted her for a scant few moments before her eyes drifted back to the Divine like she was locked in their orbit, unable to escape.
She closed the same book for the twelfth time – she kept count – and returned it to it's meticulously designed place within her bookcase. A low, barely audible huff of frustration escaped her lips before she could bite it down, her stare boring a hole into the body of the Divine One with a sharp intensity she rarely showed.
She was tired, bored and constantly on edge, fearing that at any moment someone would find out about their presence here.
That, at the drop of a hat, she would be powerless to stop the greatest tragedy of her time play out before her eyes.
Neuvillette would have scolded her for being so petulant, especially around the Divine One, if he were here.
But he wasn't.
He was out running her nation, instead.
And what was she doing? Nothing!
She grit her teeth, nails digging harshly into the palm of her hands as she took a deep breath – now was not the time to think about that. She had..much more pressing matters. Sulking and letting her thoughts spiral helped no one, least of all herself.
Yet her attention was caught by a harsh inhale, the rustle of fabric – were they finally waking up? She was exhausted, but it all vanished at the sudden drop of life within the otherwise deathly still body of the Divine.
Her eyes followed the subtle twitch of their fingers, watching as their brow furrowed and their features twisted in something almost like..pain.
..She wasn't ready.
What was she supposed to say?
Should she even say anything? Would that be considered impolite? Does she wait for them to speak first? Should she kneel? Bow?
She doesn't get much time to find her own answer before their lashes flutter, chest heaving with every strangled breath. Every single thought vanishes from her mind the moment she meets their eyes.
For a long, silent moment she thinks that her heart must have stopped.
Their eyes glow like the cresting of the sun over the horizon, painting the world in hues of gold – yet it also reminded her of the dipping of the moon below the waves, casting the briefest, most gentle of lights upon the world engulfed in darkness. In the depths of their eyes was the birth and death of stars in the infinite cosmos – glittering stars in a sea of empty, blank space that left her feeling lightheaded and breathless.
Beneath the splendor is a spark of recognition in their eyes so vibrant it was like a shooting star piercing through the dark night sky, leaving nothing but the wonder in the eyes of the observer as the only proof it ever existed – brilliant in it's beauty, however brief.
It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.
"Focalors?"
The lilt of their voice nearly made her knees buckle beneath her – euphoria so consuming it left her feeling she was starving swallowed her whole, her mind blanking in a moment of utter bliss. It was..an indescribable feeling that she doubted she could ever hope to put into words – not in a way that could properly express it, try as she might.
She swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her lips – she couldn't make a fool of herself. Not in front of them of all people. She'd never forgive herself.
"Divine One," She rasps, clearing her throat and covering her mouth with a hand to mask both her nervousness and the small smile that creeps across her face. She quickly regains her composure, hand resting on her hip as she puffs out her chest with every bit of pride she can manage. "I am sure you must be confused, but worry not– your most loyal acolyte has seen the truth!"
The silence is deafening.
She opens one eye, peaking at the bewildered and almost distraught expression of the Divine.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
That..she was not prepared for. Surely they knew who they were! Surely they knew. They had to– she's been praying to them for as long as she's breathed, she's dedicated every hour of her life to living up to their ideals, they can't just–!
"Lady Furina?"
Neuvillette, thankfully, spares her the embarrassment of having a meltdown in front of the Divine, the gentle rap of his knuckles against the door making her and the Divine pause, the soft lull of his voice soothing her nerves and yet setting her on edge at the same time.
"Neuvillette." She clears her throat again, her steps hurried as she marches to the door and pries it open none too gently, a forced smile pulling at her lips. She wastes no time tugging the man into the room, shutting the door behind him with a short huff. The silence is, somehow, even worse then before as the three of them stare at each other in absolute exasperation.
Neuvillette, for his part, manages to get his act together with a sharp clearing of his throat, bowing so low even she looks unnerved. She steals a brief glance at the Divine, and she's taken aback by the uncomfortability twisting their features into a grimace.
Their expression is schooled back into one of empty apathy when he stands back to his full height, but she saw it – she knows she did! Did they not like their worship? Were they not respectful enough? For a moment, she feared the Divine would smite Neuvillette down on the spot..but they just stared at him like he was a ghost.
"Why aren't you killing me?"
The defeated, resigned tone combined with the way their voice cracks makes her heart ache in her chest – it feels as though her entire world is crumbling down at her feet, and she cannot explain why she feels such emotions so strongly, but it is suffocating. It is almost as if Teyvat itself is weeping, bearing down upon her shoulders like a heavy weight.
She feels the urge to weep herself, but she powers through, gritting her teeth long enough for Neuvillette to take his place at the side of her – though it feels more like their – bed, kneeling like he was going to pray.
"Divine One," He offers a hand with a quiet rumble of his voice, the words slipping off his tongue like honey. It's like trying to soothe a stray cat..though she'd never voice such comparisons of the most Divine out loud. "I..we mean you no harm. I swear on my authority as the Iudex of Fontaine and Chief Justice that you are safe with us."
The skepticism she expected, but the reverence in which Neuvillette must convince them – or perhaps they are simply so tired that they simply did not care any longer if it was all some ploy to drive a knife between their ribs. She didn't expect them to actually place their hand in Neuvillette's.
He didn't either, judging by the way he visibly brightened – not that they'd notice, but she did.
..Not that she could really blame him, her heels clicking against the floorboards as she shifted her weight to the other foot with a nervous energy that was practically bursting at the seams, more then a little jealous of the attention he was receiving. She was the one who found them, she was the one who stayed with them the entire time..but he gets all the attention?
How unfair.
"O-of course! We would never lay a hand on our creator," She adds, her voice a little higher pitched then she would have liked as she placed her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest and brushing off the sting of jealousy. "Least of all I– your most loyal, most devout acolyte!"
She felt baffled when she heard the sound of their laughter, her shoulders hunching and her cheeks flushing on mere instinct – she was expecting mockery, but the look in their eyes, still dulled by a pain she cannot even begin to imagine, made her hesitate.
..It was, perhaps, the most genuine thing she'd heard from them ever since before the hunt began.
She wasn't sure why her heart hurt at such an idea, but it was enthralling to see the beginnings of a half hearted smile on their lips.
For a moment, her mask of theatrics was forgotten as she stared at them in a mixture of awe and adoration– and though she didn't look at Neuvillette, she could imagine he must've shared such an expression.
Had she any doubts that they were her Creator, that they alone were the most Divine..they would wiped clean now. There was no mistaking the way the world itself seemed to grow clearer as they glanced up at her like she was worth something.
For a moment, she realized how cold the false Creators gaze had been now that she has felt warmth so gentle it almost made her knees buckle beneath her. It felt like a pale imitation, now.
Nothing could compare to the warmth that spread through her body at the mere semblance of a smile upon their lips. She didn't even mind if it was her they were laughing at anymore, she just wanted to hear them laugh again.
She'd make a fool of herself, if she had to.
She'd never felt so..ravenous for such a thing, but just the briefest glimpse was addictive.
She simply couldn't help herself from striding across the room and clasping their free hand in her own, her smile wide enough to unnerve as she leaned her weight onto the bed. For a moment, she considered pulling away at the way they startled, but her mind was made up by then – there was no going back.
"Again."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#neuvillette#focalors#furina#dont ask what happened here idk#this was. also supposed 2 be neuvi focused and then i.#dont talk 2 me abt focalors i wont ever shut up#got a 300k word essay on hand abt how i feel abt her character/how i interpret her personality and her story#focalors jsut like me fr fr (cries at the slightest inconvenience or the slightest mean comment)#shes so pathetic girlfail im gonna chew on her#what happens when reader gets stuck with two emotionally repressed french bastards?? hell#neuvi is the “emotionless” flavor of emotionally repressed in that hes HORRIBLE at showing emotions at all#ask him to smile and its incredibly unnerving and theres too many teeth but hes trying his best please call him pretty or he will cry :(#furina is the flavor of emotionally repressed where she makes it up by having Too Many emotions#using theatrics and masks to show everyone what they want to see but inside this girl is a MESS#constant anxiety and panic 24/7#will do random shit and look at you and if u dont compliment her she will think u hate her and cry#compliment her and she'll do even stupider shit to try and impress you more#i love my scrunkly little babies they r so stupid and mentally ill someone get these bitches some THERAPY#i want 2 put them under a microscope#watch this be ooc fr furina when more of her lore drops if shes not girlfail im leaving#anyway see u in a week im going on a trip ill get back 2 u in 6-7 business days
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iirulancorrino · 29 days
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The Green brothers are doing effective altruism better than maybe 95% of people who identify online as effective altruists.
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Franziska showing off her physical prowess feat. her very willing assistant (girlfriend) Maya
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jaubaius · 1 year
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Man lecturing alley cats about the month of Ramadan and how they should stop eating meat.
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flock-talk · 29 days
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This was taken with a phone, how wild is that?
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holy SHIT put jonathan “if i have to let my undead wife fuck me into vampirism than as god is my witness i absolutely will” harker in the wife guy hall of fame and give bram stoker a medal of achievement in deranged horniness for this which i think amidst all the weird eroticized terror scenes and all the insane shit about body fluids and penetration is the first thing in this victorian novel i am well and truly shocked to find there. this is…….. SO hot, ESPECIALLY coming immediately after the most explicitly and specifically christian passage in the book thus far, i am genuinely amazed. everyone’s talking about god’s will and judgment day and sacred wafers and jonathan’s taking all this in and deciding: i choose fucking my damned wife into undead eternity. THAT is fucking ROMANCE!!!!!!!!
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zkaus · 8 months
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I'm still amazed that this guy...
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And this guy...
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Are the same guy.
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He was Dale 'awkward duck' Jennings...
Softboy extraordinaire...
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Then a month later...
Sam Reid transformed himself into the magnificently chaotic Lestat De Lioncourt....
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But not only that!!
He is actually doing this feat repeatedly!
Sam's literally filming both 'The Newsreader' and 'Interview with the Vampire' season by season, back to back. Meaning that, so long as both shows keep getting renewed, Sam will keep transforming himself (again and again and again...)
From this...
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To this...
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And back to this...
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👌😂😍 👏
That's Freakishly Fucking Talented!!
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panncakes · 4 months
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Phi. Hmm? Why can't I see you?
LAST TWILIGHT (2023)
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egophiliac · 1 year
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(it probably wasn't actually Idia's fault)
(or was it)
some quick initial reactions to celebrate Diasomnia Day One! it felt like a bit of a short intro, but oh, what a tasting menu of things to come.
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ahalliance · 4 months
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i think a crucial aspect of the codebreakers dynamic that is sometimes overlooked is how likewise enamoured phil is with étoiles . like étoiles is the god of praising and hyping people up so people tend to focus on how much étoiles thinks phil is the coolest guy ever but do not forget that phil also thinks étoiles is the coolest fucking guy to ever guy he will never pass up an opportunity to talk about how cool and strong and funny étoiles is . their relationship is built on their mutual ‘WOW this guy is awesome’ feelings for one another and it is amazing
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*sniff sniff sniffs but in a charismatic anteater/hedgehog-nibbling-ripe-pumpkin flesh sorta style* ah new tumblr feature
#freeeeeeeeessshhhhhhh#or sliiiiiightly more likely#i am just really impressively bad at noticing routine update alerts#who knows *shrug emoji i still can't pronounce*#you have my Most apologies.#sincerely i have NOT been sleeping recently in a respectable NOR conscientious pattern#hashtag ignore me im a disgrace#BUT sidenote a disgrace that has learned 3 different salsa recipes and TWO AND A HALF STEW RECIPES#in the last week alone so#it's possible i may be incredibly attractive and charismatic actually?#...no no nope. just deeply sleep deprived probably.#it's 6 A dot fuck the M#ok ok ok MORAL OF THE STORY IS:#BASICALLY ANY MIXTURE OF BROTH AND ROOT VEG CAN BE TURNED INTO A STEW#YOUR PREFERENCE OF MEAT/GREEN VEG CAN BE ADDED FOR YOUR OUR SATISFACTION AND I RECOMMEND IT!#but fundamentally root veg + broth will give you a good start#AND BE GENEROUS W/ THE GARLIC + SEASONING AS PER USU#basically just throw in the shit that gives you good vibes and simmer on low for 2.5 hours#ok that is NOT a valid recipe#but it's like. 75% of it. so google the rest you lazy ass sugar tongs#(fyi the new feature i only just noticed is the Featured Tags thing)#(i really like a lot of the User Interface changes tumblr has made recently and I feel sorta defensive about it#like im back in middle school and feel the terrifying need to prove to the other lunch table kids that my Transformers OC#could kick THEIR transform OC in the AC/DC socket!#...i wasn't even in the fandom i didn't know what a transformer OR a socket was I JUST WANTED TO DRAW FAST CARS
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songofstrawhats · 4 months
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I am an entire-ass lesbian.
But in this fight, Sanji has never been sexier, actually!!!!
Bonus:
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spiderziege · 1 year
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pearls s9 alien landscape!
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big alien mushroom! i was gonna draw her entire base but ended up with only the big mushroom oops. i love her base tho it's incredible
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jaubaius · 1 year
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Egypt..
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