#this is completely random and doesn’t fit this blog at all but I had to say it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

springtyme · 2 months

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Hey luv, hope all is well. So, I just previously read your spencer x girly!reader and I absolutely loved them. While reading the chess part, an idea sparked.

So if possible could you do something similar where Spencie boy and girly!reader are playing chess and she is obviously frustrated or something because she doesn’t understand. So being the amazing boy wonder he is, Spencer secretly acts like he had no good moves and the reader just starts pointing out the moves he could make not knowing he can clearly see those moves and he lets the reader win making her super excited and happy and immediately sets the board back and starts another game.

I just think it would be so cute to see how Spencer would just gaze at and admire the reader as she is focused and asks questions. If this is too confusing or too similar to the original chess part no worries. It’s simply a mere thought I had. Do with it what you please!!!

Love your works and your blog 🥰🤗

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐨𝐲 ♡

Thank you so much, hun ♡ I't makes me so happy to hear that you liked the other ones, I've had so much fun with them. And thank you so much for this request, it's such a cute scenario!

Spencer Reid x girly!reader|| Masterlist || Spencer playlist

summary: Spencer truly can’t believe how lucky he is to have you in his life. With you, everything just feels so natural, despite him being in completely foreign waters. You keep being patient with him, every step of the way. With you, everything just falls into place, like the missing piece of a puzzle finally fitting snugly into its spot. All he ever want to do is make you smile, even when it means that he has to lose in chess on purpose. Part one & part two 💕

word count: 2.0k

a/n: I was actually in a chess club in school, but we did not play chess, so sorry if the chess parts aren’t very accurate, I tried my best, lol.

Spencer watches you intently, his heart swelling with adoration at the sight of you trying your best. He can see the determination in your eyes, the way you furrow your brow in concentration, and it only deepens the love he feels for you. Your stained lips pouting sweetly as you contemplate your next move

You let out an exasperated sigh, leaning back in your chair with a frustrated expression. “I just don’t understand this game, Spence. I feel like I’m making all the wrong moves,” you sigh, moving your knight in a random direction. “At this point I‘m just making moves for the sake of it.”

Spencer can’t help but smile at your frustration, finding it endearing how you get so worked up over a game of chess. Moving your knight wasn’t the best move you could have made, but he doesn’t want to tell you that, and it wasn’t the worst move either. He reaches out to gently place his hand on top of yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze, but he lets his fingers linger for a little while. It always manages to surprise him how soft your skin is, and how it feels so warm and comforting beneath his touch.

You look up at him, your pretty eyes meeting his gaze and Spencer feels how his heart skips a beat at the way your lashes flutter against your cheeks.

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. Some people use their entire life to master this game, and you’ve only been playing for a few weeks,” he reminds you. “You’re doing great, and trust me, you’re not as lost as you think you are.”

You smile softly at his reassurance. “So, what I’m hearing you say is that if I keep going, there’s still a chance that I can be a big old chess nerd like you?” you tease, nudging him playfully.

Spencer chuckles at your teasing, loving the way you always manage to make him laugh, something he hasn’t always had an easy time with. “Hey, being a nerd isn’t that bad, okay?”

“No, it’s not,” you agree, leaning in closer to him. “In fact, I think it’s kind of cute.” Spencer’s heart flutters at your words, feeling a warmth spread through him at the way you look at him with such affection.

Spencer knows many things, arguably too many things, but he will never be able to understand what you see in him, you’re so beautiful and confident and always so kind to everyone, there is no doubt in his mind that you are way, way out of his league, but he is grateful every day that you, for whatever reason, chose him.

“I’m glad you think so,” he mumbles, a slight blush dusting his cheeks at your words.

“I actually think you’re very cute, you know,” you say playfully, reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair out of his face with a gentle touch. Spencer can feel his heart racing in his chest as he looks into your eyes, seeing nothing but love and admiration reflected back at him.

He leans in closer to you, unable to resist the magnetic pull that always seems to bring you both together. Your lips meet in a soft, tender kiss, filled with all the love and affection that Spencer feels for you. In that moment, nothing else matters except for the two of you and the way your hearts beat as one.

As you pull away, a smile tugs at the corners of Spencer’s lips, a smile that only you can bring out in him. “I love you,” he whispers, his voice filled with sincerity and warmth.

“I love you too, Spence,” you respond, your eyes shining with your own smile, bright and full of happiness.

Spencer will never be able to wrap his head around why you love him, but damn he is glad and forever grateful that you do. If he could travel back in time and tell his younger self that he would find someone as amazing and wonderful as you - that someone as beautiful and kind hearted as you would ever love him, he wouldn’t have believed it, he would probably think that it was some kind of cruel joke. But here you are.

It’s overwhelming, really, the love and adoration he feels for you in every fiber of his being. He never knew he could feel this way about someone, never knew that someone could make him feel so alive and complete. The fact that he feels so at home and normal with another person in his life is beyond anything he could have ever imagined.

But with you, everything just feels so natural, despite him being in completely foreign waters, you keep being patient with him every step of the way and with you by his side, it doesn’t seem so daunting anymore. With you, everything just falls into place, like the missing piece of a puzzle finally fitting snugly into its spot.

“Oh, you got something…” you whisper, almost more to yourself than him. He is confused for a short second, until he feels your thumb brush against the corner of his mouth, wiping away the trace of lipstick that had transferred from your lips to his. Spencer chuckles at the realization, feeling a warm rush of affection for you. “There…” you say with a soft smile.

Spencer can’t help but chuckle at the tender gesture, feeling a surge of warmth behind his chest.

“You can’t keep distracting me like this,” you tease, leaning in closer to him with a mischievous glint in your eye. “I’m actually trying to beat you at this game, you know.”

Spencer’s smile widens at your playful tone, a twinkle in his eye as he looks at you. “Who says I’m going to make it easy for you?” he responds, his voice laced with amusement.

“You did! You literally said that you would go easy on me,” you pout, crossing your arms in mock annoyance.

Spencer laughs, a sound that fills the room with joy. “Okay, okay, I may have said that,” he concedes, “but, I don’t think you really need me to, you know. You’re a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up beating me at my own game someday.”

“I doubt that,” you mumble, looking back at the board with furrowed brows.

Spencer leans back in his chair, watching you with admiration as you study the board, he can see the gears turning in your head. He knows what move he should be doing, the move that could make him win the game, but he isn’t really interested in that.

“Well, it looks like I’m running out of options,” he say, feigning defeat as he moves his bishop into a vulnerable position.

You glance up at him. “You could have moved your rook to that square and set up a potential checkmate in a few moves,”you point out, sounding both surprised and proud that you saw the possible move.

Spencer had, of course, seen that it would have been the right move to make, but he wanted to give you a chance to shine, and to prolong the game. Seeing the pride and satisfaction in your eyes is worth more than winning any game ever could.

“Oh, you’re right,” he says, trying to sound surprised, like he hadn’t seen that move multiple rounds in advance. But he must not be a very convincing actor, and he can’t help but smile as he watches the look of realization dawn on your face.

You roll your eyes playfully, seeing right through his act. “You’re such a goof, Spence,” you giggle, shaking your head in amusement. “But thank you for giving me a chance to show off a little.”

“I guess I just wanted to give you a fighting chance,” he says, leaning in closer to you.

You playfully swat at his arm, a laugh escaping your lips. “Dork,” you tease, but there’s a fondness in your tone that makes his heart swell with even more love for you, and he leans in to place a gentle kiss on your forehead, before leaning back again to look at you, his heart overflowing with adoration for you.

You playfully roll your eyes, but there’s a hint of gratitude in your expression. “Well, thanks for the favor,” you say with a smile, moving your queen in a strategic position that surprises Spencer.

He raises an eyebrow in surprise at your move, impressed by your strategic thinking. “Oh, someone’s feeling confident now, huh?” he teases, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

You shrug nonchalantly, a mischievous glint in your eyes. “Well, you did say you weren’t going to go easy on me,” you quip, moving your pieces with a newfound determination.

Spencer watches you closely, his heart filled with pride at the way you’re starting to grasp the game more and more and making better and better strategic moves. He can’t help but admire your intelligence and quick thinking, feeling a sense of awe at the way you surprise him at every turn.

And yes, he might go a little easy on you from time to time, but he can see that you’re starting to understand the game on a deeper level. And that, to him, is worth more than winning a game of chess ever could.

As the game progresses, Spencer can see the determination in your eyes, the way you carefully plan out your moves and anticipate his next move

“You’re really giving me a run for my money, aren’t you?” Spencer remarks, a smile playing on his lips as he watches you strategize your next move. You give him a sly grin, clearly enjoying the challenge. “I told you not to underestimate me, Spence,” you say confidently, moving your knight into a position that puts him on the defensive.

Spencer chuckles, impressed by your bold move. “I should know better by now,” he admits, moving his rook to protect his vulnerable bishop. The game continues, each move calculated and strategic, and Spencer can’t help but admire the way you’ve grown since your first game together.

“Checkmate,” you say triumphantly, a grin stretching across your face as you realize you’ve won. Spencer can’t help but smile back, feeling a rush of excitement and happiness at your victory. “Well done, darling,” he says, leaning in to give you a congratulatory kiss.

“I still feel like you went easy on me, but thank you,” you tease, a playful glint in your eye. Spencer can’t help but laugh, feeling grateful for the opportunity to see the excited smile that is lighting up your face, making your already beautiful features shine even brighter with a sense of pride.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn't,” he teases back, a twinkle in his eye. “But regardless, you did really well, I can’t believe how far you’ve come in such a short amount of time.”

You grin at his words. “Well, I’ve had a really great teacher,” you remark. “And he is, like, sooo handsome too. It’s actually wild that I could even concentrate on the game,” you add with a wink before you’re leaning in to plant a sweet kiss on his lips.

Spencer’s heart flutters at your words, feeling a surge of love and adoration for you that he can’t quite put into words, they are too big and too overwhelming to express, so instead he tries to pour every bit of that love and adoration into the kiss that he returns to you.

He wraps his arms around you, pulling you close to him as he deepens the kiss, savoring the feeling of being so close to you, of sharing this moment. He might have lost the game, but because of you, he has never felt like less of a loser.

As you both pull away, a smile lingers on both of your faces, and Spencer can’t help but feel like the luckiest man alive. “I love you,” he whispers, his voice filled with sincerity and adoration.

“I love you too, Spence,” you respond, your eyes filled with nothing but love and affection for him “Now help me set this board up again, I want to beat you fair and square this time,” you say with a playful glint in your eye. Spencer chuckles at your competitive spirit, feeling a sense of contentment wash over him as he helps you set up the board once more.

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juniperskye · 2 months

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Begin Again.

Sneak peek: Reader got out of a relationship about eight months ago and was sure love was meant to burn and break and end…but this particular Wednesday made her believe that maybe, just maybe, she could begin again with someone new.

Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) Reader

Angst/Fluff

Word count: 1236

***Flashbacks are indented and in italics – this story flashes from present to past a few times. ***

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, implied age gap (kinda?), anxiety, self-consciousness, Past abusive relationship, explicit LANGUAGE, no use of y/n, mention of Jack, mention of Hotch’s previous relationship, story is guided by begin again by Taylor Swift (lyrics aren’t all directly used), mention of a love of the Beatles. I think that’s all, let me know if I missed any!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

You glanced at yourself in the mirror, second guessing your outfit choice. Were the heels too much? Would he comment on them, would he be okay with them? Maybe you should switch to flats, they would be a safer choice.

“Babe seriously. Do you have to wear heels?” He berated you. “These are the shoes she told us to wear. I can’t switch shoes I’m a bridesmaid and were all supposed to look uniform.” You explained. “Really? You’re going to make me look so fucking stupid. Who cares if she chose those, just tell her the didn’t fit or the clasp broke or something.” “I’m not doing that.” You said. “You’re so difficult. Just change your shoes, it’s not a big deal. I just don’t want to look like a fucking idiot because my girlfriend is towering over me.” He continued.

You could remember multiple arguments that went that way. Him yelling at you for dressing how you wanted, so you didn’t. He started picking out your clothes and you complied, because that was easier than having him tear you down.

You smoothed your hands over your clothes and made your way out the door. The drive to the Café was a short one. You parked and made your way across the street, ready to go in and get a table for the two of you, fully expecting to have beaten him there.

To your surprise, when you opened the door, there he was. Aaron stood from his seat and walked toward you. You met him halfway and he pulled you into a gentle embrace. You didn’t fail to notice how he still towered over you despite your heels,

“Hi! It’s so good to see you.” He said pulling out your chair.

“Oh, thank you! It’s good to see you too, I was really glad you called.” You smiled as Aaron returned to his seat across from you.

“Yeah, sorry that it’s a random Wednesday, but with my job it makes it so hard and with us being free today I wanted to take the chance and spend it with you.” Aaron explained.

“I am happy to be here! The day doesn’t matter.” You shot Aaron a shy smile.

“You look beautiful by the way.”

You couldn’t help but blush at Aaron’s words. He had been so kind and gentle with you since you had started seeing one another. You had only gone on a few dates, but things were really good. The two of you had agreed to take things slow, having both gotten out of relationships not too long ago and Aaron also had Jack to think about. You guys had texted and talked on the phone quite a bit. He had gone as far as to call you late one night after a particularly rough case.

The two of you were currently talking about how your respective weeks have gone. Aaron had just gotten back from a case (hence why you were on your date now) and you had just completed a pretty big project at work. In the midst of your conversation, the song playing in the café changed to I Will by the Beatles, one of your favorite songs.

“Oh my god I love this song!” You gushed, quietly humming along.

“You like the Beatles?” Aaron asked.

“I love them! I have every one of their albums on vinyl.” You blushed.

“I don’t think I have ever met a woman with the same level of Beatles obsession as my own.” Aaron smiled at you in admiration.

The two of you ate while quietly enjoying the music and one another’s company.

“For if I ever saw you, I didn’t catch your name. But it never really mattered, I will always feel the same. Love you forever and forever, love you with all my hear- “ “Jesus, can you stop fucking singing that song?” He huffed. “Babe, it’s a really good song, I wish you would just listen to the words.” “I don’t give a shit about your stupid song. I don’t get it anyway.” He shut you down.

Aaron and you continued your conversation upon finishing your meal. You were in pure bliss with how amazing things were going. Aaron was attentive and gave you his full attention. He nodded and responded when it was needed. He also held conversation so well, he gave just enough information about himself in combination with asking you about yourself.

Another thing that had you swooning over Aaron was the fact that he had thrown his head back in laughter a few times throughout your conversation. You truly couldn’t wrap your head around how lucky you had been to have met Aaron. Your ex had never found your sense of humor funny, and it was nice to be in the presence of someone who appreciated it.

“Can you not make jokes like that when we’re in front of my friends? Like seriously what the fuck was that?” He demanded. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a joke. Your friends laughed.” You shrugged. “It wasn’t even funny. They just laughed out of pity to save you from the embarrassment of nobody understanding your stupid ass jokes.” He rolled his eyes at you as he stormed off.

Aaron checked his watch and noticed how late it was getting. He looked into your eyes and smiled, neither one of you wanting this day to end. But he needed to go pick up Jack from soccer practice.

“Can I walk you to your car?” Aaron asked.

“That would be great.” You smiled, wrapping your scarf around your neck.

As you made your way over to your car, you thought about talking to Aaron about how your ex had truly broken you, and that part of the reason you’d requested to take things so slowly is because you had to relearn how to accept love from someone. The last eight months had allowed you time to fall in love with yourself again, but loving someone else was a whole new obstacle you were working through.

Aaron’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, he had been talking about how he wanted to introduce you to Jack, not now, but in the near future. He had come up with a nice way to do so.

“So, Jack and I always watch Elf and the Grinch around Christmas, I think it could be nice if one night you came over and watched one of them with us, you know. It gives us a few more weeks to really solidify things between us and by then we will have been seeing each other for four months. What do you say?” Aaron looked hopefully at you.

“Only if it’s the Jim Carrey Grinch movie. That new animated one is cute and all, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the live action.” You smiled back at him.

“Of course, it’s the Jim Carrey one. We take things very seriously at our house.” Aaron smirked at you.

Aaron and you shared a laugh, and then he brushed his hand over your cheek, leaned in, and kissed you gently. December couldn’t come fast enough. Things with your ex had really messed you up, and he’d left you believing that love wasn’t meant to flourish, just burn, and break and end.

But on a Wednesday, in a Café you watched it begin again.

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thebookofeibon · 2 months

Text

a sweeter alternative

Rating: T Chapters: 1/1 Words: 6868 Fandom: Ensemble Stars Ships: ReiKao Relevant "tags": blood time. uh sex mentions and allusions i don't write it though i'm not at that comfort level yet.

“You know how he uses it in place of blood?” Kaoru kept his eyes on Rei, catching Adonis’s nod in the corner on his eye. “Well the past couple of months, it hasn’t been doing the job.” “Huh? What do you mean past couple of months?” Koga eyed Rei. “He’s been drinking twice the amount he usually does, he’s been drinking different brands, and he’s still slow as if he’s low on energy.”

i'll add squidgeworld link when i post to there

for now u can read under the cut!

i suppose i can start putting my notes here in the mean time. uhhh this one's been in the works since october, just chipping away at it here and there. idr what the inspo was i think i just wanted to address the vampire thing.

his vampirism works how i want it to work bc it's a disability and i am also disabled and that's that. idc that vampirism isn't real

this is in my little series i had on ao3 where they live together in an apartment and i don't know the timeline for realsies i'm making shit up. this is actually the first one in the series to not have a pinocchioP title and it's bc. i couldn't find one. what can i say he doesn't have any vampire songs. the vocaloid vampire song also didn't fit but it was the working title of this.

i'll also make a page for this series on this blog since. gestures to no longer using ao3

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Rei-kun.”

“Mmm.”

“Don’t ‘mmm’ me, you heard exactly what I just said.”

Rei doesn’t answer, entirely pissing Kaoru off. “You have had two large containers of tomato juice this week and you’re still falling asleep in random places. It’s not working the way it used to.” Rei’s grip on his pillow grows tighter as he really pushes the limits his face can go into it. “It’s 8pm, and I’ve been trying to wake you up for almost two hours.” He walked over to the bed to take the pillow, only to find Rei’s resistance to be much stronger than it should be. “This. Has been happening. For two months!!!” He tugged at the pillow with all of his might, though he really couldn’t get anywhere with it. “You need blood!” A final tug that still resulted in nothing causes Kaoru to let go, huffing as he caught his breath. “I don’t pretend to know your condition, but I fear that staying strictly with tomato juice isn’t going to work anymore!”

Rei stayed with his head buried in the pillow, only letting out a groan in response.

“You’re acting like a child.”

Rei mumbled a response into the pillow, completely inaudible.

“I can’t hear you.” A beat. Two. “You are impossible.” He huffed, walking with a little too much force out of the room.

Only when he was sure Kaoru was out of sight did Rei lift his head to look out into the living room. He frowned, eyebrows scrunched together in…it’s not anger, it’s not disappointment, dismay?

He didn’t really want to accept that Kaoru was right. Rei has known for a few months now that something was wrong with his juice intake, but he’d hoped that it wasn’t obvious, and it hasn’t really been to the kids. But Kaoru? Of course he’d figure out, it was dumb to even entertain the idea that the man he lives with and sleeps next to wouldn’t notice something was wrong. He laid his head sideways on the pillow, still looking out into the hallway. He was still tired.

He even tried changing brands, thinking maybe his default brand was the problem, but after trying all the ones available on the market, something else that Kaoru for sure would’ve noticed, he also began to come to the same conclusion.

This vampire does need blood to survive.

He began questioning family members after the first month, especially those he knew took alternatives for blood. But he didn’t receive answers he liked.

“Yeah, it stopped being viable after I turned 25, like its good when I’m in a pinch but I don’t rely on it anymore”

“I stopped relying solely on tomato juice when puberty hit, it’s still my primary source but I do need actual blood every other month to be at top shape.”

“There’s no alternative that’ll provide you accurately with the amount of iron our bodies need. As an idol, I’m surprised you’ve made it this long before realizing the faults in your juice alternative.”

Rei’s brought out of his head by the sound of a loud “clink” on the bedside table and he looks up to spot Kaoru, placing a full glass of tomato juice on the bedside table.

“Decided to show your face after all?” Kaoru teased, ruffling Rei’s bed head.

“You just said the juice isn’t working.” Rei grumbled, eyeing the damned glass. He hates this brand, he’s learned. Too sugary for his tastes.

“Well, you have a whole thing still and you’re fighting this theory so it's the best I can do.” He shrugged and walked out again.

Rei watched him with a scowl. “Come back here.”

Kaoru turned his head back pensively. “Hmmm? Does his wicked highness finally see fit to have my offering?” He turned around with a grin and a bow.

“What’s wrong with me just wanting to have you near?” He didn’t let up on his scowl. “Senior year you would be appalled by this behavior.”

“Hmmm? Why are you so caught up with how senior year me would feel? This is nothing! What senior year me would be devastated by is the amount of time we spend making out. Or how much sex we’ve had.” Kaoru smiled as he walked back into the bedroom. “Seriously Rei-kun! My one time of being pissed off at you for biting me has been waaaaay overshadowed by how many times you have given me head in the last, what? Four years? Since that whole ordeal.”

Rei buried his face again by the end of Kaoru’s ramble, burning red ears all that’s visible of his immodesty. He was right, technically speaking. High school Kaoru is at this point a different person than his current partner, that Kaoru would faint if he even knew they lived together.

“Honestly, Rei-kun?” Kaoru was next to his ear suddenly, causing Rei to jump and look over to catch the smug grin spreading across his tan skin. “I think it’d be suuuper hot if you took my blood during sex.”

“Gross, did talking about my mouth get you horny?” Rei pushed Kaoru’s face away and reburied his own.

“Hmmm? You act like you’ve never thought about it~.” He can hear the grin he still has. Hands grasp at his shoulders and begin to rub. “Like you don’t linger when giving me hickeys, or when you can’t help yourself and still bite slightly too hard.” He pressed harder into the knot Rei had there, the vampire letting out a moan.

“You almost sound like you want me to feed on you for your pleasure more than my well being.” He grumbled into his pillow.

“I can bring up non-sexual examples too~” Another tight push against Rei’s shoulder has the vampire letting out a small whimper. “Whenever we cuddle, you always nuzzle into my neck at least once. In fact, it’s more rare that you don’t immediately bury your face into my neck. I’m always thinking, wow, I feel super vulnerable with how close his mouth is to my neck!”

Rei whined into his pillow, half in embarrassment, half in pleasure from the massage. He turned his head so he wasn’t talking into it anymore. “Really? Always?”

Kaoru laughed. “So you don’t even do it on purpose?”

“No!”

“When I wear my turtlenecks, sometimes I catch you staring at my neck when I move in a way that exposes more skin.”

“Kaoru-kun, this is embarrassing me. I’m going to cry. Do you want me to cry?” He pouted, holding back a whine when Kaoru removed his hands from him. “Why do you hate me? What did I ever do to you?”

“Not drink my blood.” The pillow Rei had been attached to this whole time quickly left his hands and collided with Kaoru’s face.

-----------------------------

It was a bad day from the minute Rei woke up, but they had an important media interview today so he really pushed himself to get out of bed and face the day.

Honestly? It’s been a bad week for the vampire. With no real reason for his energy to be completely depleted, he understood what it meant. He really didn’t want to admit it though, he really didn’t want to have to rely on blood.

“Hey, Rei-kun.” Kaoru nudged at him on the couch, gaining only a groan from the vampire. “I know you’re tired, let’s try and get some food in you before we have to go.” Rei opened his eyes at that, already concerned.

“What time is it?”

“Really? It’s only been 20 minutes since you woke up.”

“…Really?” He almost wanted to cry at that, it’s felt like an hour.

Kaoru frowned at him. “Seriously…I know it’s an off day for you but even that’s a little concerning. Come on, let’s go eat.”

They stopped at a diner nearby that Kaoru likes, ordering something small each with some coffee. Coffee doesn’t usually work on Rei unless he’s really lucky, but it’s the thought that counts here.

“Oi-hey! No falling asleep.” Kaoru tapped on Rei’s plate with his fork to make noise, startling Rei from what he supposed was dozing. “Finish eating, maybe that’ll keep you awake.”

He stared down at his half-eaten omelette with a frown, picking up his fork again. Every little bit helps.

“We’re here, wake up.” Kaoru nudges Rei awake again. The cab had come to a stop and Kaoru was in the middle of paying her. Rei seemed to be only capable of frowning today, mainly at himself. Kaoru glanced to him, offering a smile as he started to push Rei out the door.

“This is the fourth time in the last two hours he’s fallen asleep.” Kaoru sighed. “I know I shouldn’t complain, it’s out of his control, but it’s really frustrating today.” Rei blinked his eyes open, watching Kaoru and Koga talk in the waiting room outside of the recording studio.

“Maybe once he gets talking he’ll stay awake.” Adonis shrugged beside Rei on the couch. “Oh, good morning Sakuma-san.” He smiled at him, and Rei couldn’t help but return the smile.

Kaoru sighed again, much more audibly than before. He dug into his bag and pulled out a juicebox, tossing it to Rei. “Please, this is just an hour and a half, Rei-kun.”

Rei fumbled to catch the juicebox, but he did nonetheless, and he carefully detached the straw and stuck it into the top. “I’m sorry, you know I’m not usually this bad…” He sipped slowly on the box.

“The weather’s kinda whack right now, more than usual, s’probably what’s affecting you.” Koga crossed his arms. “Plus the thing you were complainin’ about the other day with your juice.” He gestured at him with his chin.

“Yeah…” Rei deflated a bit into the couch, feeling everyone’s eyes on him.

“What’s wrong with your juice?” Adonis tilted his head.

“You know how he uses it in place of blood?” Kaoru kept his eyes on Rei, catching Adonis’s nod in the corner on his eye. “Well the past couple of months, it hasn’t been doing the job.”

“Huh? What do you mean past couple of months?” Koga eyed Rei.

“He’s been drinking twice the amount he usually does, he’s been drinking different brands, and he’s still slow as if he’s low on energy.” Rei tried to shrink down as much as he could in the couch, trying to avoid eye contact. It’s embarrassing. Kaoru tutted. “You are so annoying sometimes.”

“Then…are you saying he needs blood?” Adonis tilted his head.

“Exactly. And he’s refusing to take any.”

Koga clicked his tongue, then finally brought his eyes off Rei to look at Kaoru again. “We can’t really force him.”

Kaoru kept his eyes on his partner however. “…No, I suppose not.”

“UNDEAD?” A woman’s voice called out, breaking the tension. “We’re ready to get you guys set up.”

-----------------------------

Rare, these days, for Rei to turn down showering with Kaoru when they got home, and with how his health has been, he really should’ve taken the opportunity to share the shower with him. But he wanted time alone to think.

He’d really been trying to ignore it, not even out of pride really. He’s grown accustomed to admitting when he needs help. He has friends willing to accommodate his needs and he couldn’t be more grateful for them because of it.

It’s not pride, it’s…arrogance. That’s it. The refusal to admit that he’s wrong. It’s been several months now, at this point the tomato juice hasn’t been helping longer than it has this year. It’s at least worth a try now to take blood, no matter how little he actually wants to do it.

It partly has to do with Kaoru’s refusal that Easter, the fear of hurting him always at the back of his mind, but a lot does have to do with how he just doesn’t want to drink blood. He’s trying so hard to be human, he’s doing everything he can to be human. Drinking blood is not a human activity!

And he hates the taste of it!!! That’s why he settled with tomato juice, because it actually tastes good!!! Why should he have to do something he can’t even-

“Your turn.” Kaoru walked past Rei brooding on the couch and ruffled his hair, drawing him out of his thoughts for the moment. He looked up, lifting his head out of his hands, just when had he slouched over? He probably looked just as crazed as he felt. “Don’t think too hard in there, you might overheat.” Kaoru smiled.

Rei huffed a laugh, relaxing his shoulders a bit. “Yeah, of course.” He stood up with a few joint cracks and began to walk up the bathroom-

“I’m serious though. Try to sit while you’re in there, and leave the door unlocked, okay?” Kaoru dropped his smile. Ah, alright.

“Mm, of course.”

The shower was nice, he supposed, though it would be quicker to stand, sitting at least gave him time to think again. He really could just ask. It doesn’t need to have some special occasion. Though it’s kind of embarrassing at this point to admit defeat, after being urged to do this from family and friends for so long now. And again, sometimes just the smell of blood was enough to upset his stomach, thinking about the smell is even-

A trail of blood running down the drain with the water appears and it startles him, jumping back a bit to try and locate where the bleeding is coming from, knocking some bottles down in the process. He lifted a hand to his face and sighed as he drew it back. A nosebleed. Okay, sure, this might as well happen.

The bathroom door opened a crack. “You alright?” Right. The noise.

“Yea-” A cough, “Yeah I’m fine- Nosebleed.” He breathed in, head going light. “Could you come turn the water off, dear.” He lifted a hand to his head. A vampire who can’t even look at blood, how inane.

Kaoru opened the door further and walked in, opening the curtain on the side closer to the valve to shut it off. “Are you alright?” He asked again.

“A bit lightheaded is all, mind getting me some tissues?” He did his best to keep his head tilted downward until Kaoru pulled the curtain back, sitting on his knees, with a few tissues in hand. Instead of letting Rei take them from him, he instead reached in himself to block the nostril the blood was coming from.

“I told you not to think too hard.” Kaoru laughed, using his other hand to cradle Rei’s head. Rei leaned into his touch instinctively, doing his best to keep his head lowered. “It’s hot in here too, were you trying to instigate a nosebleed?”

Rei glowered at him, taking a deep breath in. It was a joke, he understands, and Kaoru simply chuckled at the stare. He pulled the tissue away momentarily to assess the bleed, then quickly repositioned it to a cleaner area to hold against the nostril again. Rei sighed, his health was never going to be easy, was it?

-----------------------------

Rei lie on his back on the bed, shirtless as he didn’t want to risk staining any shirts, fingers interlocked over his chest as he stared up at the ceiling, wad of tissue paper plugged up his nose to get the remaining blood taken care of. Kaoru entered the room after a few more minutes, bringing with him some tart slices that he had bought earlier that day.

“I got one for both of us~! Recovering from a shower nosebleed seems fitting time to eat it!” He smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. “Usually eating in bed is against our rules but what’s the harm in bending this once?” He set the plate down on his lap and patted the spot next to him. “Come, sit.”

“…I…” Rei squinted with tightly knit brows, not looking away from the ceiling.

“Hm?” Kaoru was already picking up his slice to eat.

Rei stayed silent a moment before finally shifting his gaze to Kaoru. It softened when he saw how content he was with the bite he’d taken, a small smile stretching across the blond’s lips that he probably didn’t even notice he had. He opened his mouth again, then closed it when nothing came out and turned back to the ceiling.

Kaoru’s head tilted. “Babe, I’m not a mind reader, and if I was, your’s would be impossible anyways.”

“…” Rei turned his head completely away, embarrassed just a little. “I need blood.” It was quiet, small, not meant to leave this one piece of furniture. He refused to look in Kaoru’s direction. He could already feel his gaze on him and he wasn’t really keen on the teasing that would follow.

But there wasn’t a verbal response, he heard some movement, likely Kaoru setting the plate down, then felt the bed move as slowly his light was obstructed. Kaoru’s hand landed next to his head and he frowned, still refusing to look up at him.

“You open yourself up to me and yet refuse to look at me? You wound me, Rei-kun.” Kaoru sighed. Using the hand on the opposite side of Rei’s face, he lifted Rei’s chin to face him upwards, smiling a little at the blush covering his cheeks, then frowned when Rei still focused his gaze on the wall. With a huff, he pulled his waist up further onto the bed and placed his legs on either side of the vampire, sitting down onto his stomach. “What’s a guy got to do to get even a glance, huh?” He scowled as he watched Rei’s gaze shift not towards him, but upwards to further avoid looking at Kaoru.

Rei’s hands fidget on his chest, unlocking themselves to tap idly without thought. Kaoru clicked his tongue watching them, evidence that Rei isn’t entirely spaced out from the moment. In one swift motion, they’re taken from their place on his chest and pinned above his head, taking Rei off guard enough to finally look back at him with wide eyes.

“There we go~ All I had to do was surprise you!” Kaoru grinned, releasing his grip on Rei’s hands to lean in and place a kiss on his lips. “I don’t like being ignored, you know~” To punctuate, he pulled the tissue out of Rei’s nose, only taking a moment to examine how fresh the blood on it was before tossing it to the floor.

Rei watched the tissue fall to the floor with a frown. “Gross.” He couldn’t help but laugh, though, when Kaoru tried to go in for another kiss. “Hold on, hold on.” He placed a hand in front of his face to catch Kaoru’s, laughing when Kaoru still tried to push through. “Down boy!” He jokingly raised his voice.

Kaoru grinned. “Down?” The glint in his eye was mischievous. Rei sighed as Kaoru took the hand placed against his face and laced his fingers with it. “Easy command~” He followed through and started to kiss down Rei’s neck, hovering when Rei’s laugh bubbled out.

“You’re going to agitate my nosebleed, then I’m going to get blood all over the bed.” He squeezed Kaoru’s hand, using his other to slide into his blond hair.

“Oh you’ll be fine.” Kaoru hummed as he trailed further down. “We have tissues in here if it comes back.” He paused at Rei’s collarbone, glancing up at him. “It doesn’t help when you’re encouraging me, either.” He smiled, free hand aimlessly wandering Rei’s chest. Rei grinned down at him, then gripped his hair and pulled back with enough force to pull him away. “Ah!” Kaoru laughed. “Hey!”

“As much as I’d like to continue,” Rei let go of his hair to dramatically drape his arm across his forehead and closed his eyes, “I am oh-so tired from losing blood-”

“Then take some of mine.” Kaoru narrowed his eyes playfully.

Rei opened his eyes to peek down to him again. “Aside from the tart, have you eaten recently?”

Kaoru blinked, then looked up in thought. “Uhh…”

Rei clicked his tongue with a smile. “No blood drinking tonight then, dear.” He lifted his arm off his head to cup Kaoru’s cheek. “Thank you for the offer, though.”

“Come on, we’re in bed, it’s not like I’m going to go on stage right after.” Kaoru pouted.

“No, you’re still wanting to fool around though, which is still quite a rigorous activity, don’t you think?” Rei’s thumb brushed against Kaoru’s lips, which only prompted the blond to open them and take the digit into his mouth. “Kaoru-kun.”

“We can always stop if it gets too much~?” Kaoru leaned down again to be just in front of Rei’s lips. “I can be the one resting?” He lowered his voice as he lowered himself to brush lips.

Rei ran over the options in his head, subconsciously wetting his lips. Their hands let go of each other, Rei’s landing on Kaoru’s thigh and Kaoru’s coming to Rei’s face to tip him far enough to close the distance.

He still wasn’t keen on the idea of drinking blood, thinking about the taste is almost enough to make him pull away from the warmth of Kaoru’s mouth in disgust. He could feasibly take only a little bit, work himself up slowly to drinking more over time. He slowly pushed himself to sit up, Kaoru taking the hint to help ease the transfer of positions. They parted from each other temporarily to allow Kaoru to lie down and Rei to climb on top of him, then came back to each other as quickly as possible. Rei shuffled his hips further down on Kaoru so he could trail down his neck with ease.

Were they not idols, in some other universe, Rei would love to mark Kaoru up as much as possible, he hesitated in one spot on his neck and debated if it was too high up to cover with a turtleneck before deciding it was. He moved lower before taking the skin in his lips. Not biting, not here. A sigh leaves Kaoru’s mouth as Rei’s hand travels up underneath his shirt. Makeup would definitely need to be used to cover this one, but it won’t be as noticeable.

“A bit high up, don’t you think?” Kaoru carded his fingers through Rei’s hair.

Rei took a moment longer before pulling away, using both hands now to pull Kaoru’s shirt up, which Kaoru obliged and lifted his arms to remove the article. “I just wanted to do that one.” Once the shirt was removed, he moved back to where he was and traveled further, pausing once again in a spot, but this time to try and gauge where to bite. “I’ll only take a little…I’m not exactly…fond of the taste.” He hovered around a general area around Kaoru’s neck and collarbone.

“Alright, fair enough.”

“Don’t be offended if I don’t like it.”

“You’re still human, I think it’s rather normal to dislike the taste of blood.”

The reassurance was nice, it was almost the push that Rei needed to dive in. He checked the pulse in one spot and took a deep breath in before pressing his lips to the spot, then lightly placed his fangs against it. It’s not like he hasn’t bitten Kaoru before, or drawn his blood from a bite either, but those were different. Those were just bites to bite, this is fairly common practice in any couple. This bite was different, this is…

Kaoru’s fingers slowly brushed through Rei’s hair and it almost made Rei laugh. Why is the guy getting blood taken from him in such a monstrous way more relaxed about this than the one taking the blood?

No, he can’t be anxious about this when he’s already poised to strike. With another deep breath taken through his nose, he bites down, incisors piercing through Kaoru’s unblemished skin. Kaoru lets out a grunt at the bite, fingers gripping somewhat tighter into Rei’s hair. It takes everything in Rei to stay biting and let the blood into his mouth.

It wasn’t as bad as he had been dreading, not necessarily good either, but he isn’t immediately repelled by the taste and texture. It tasted like blood, that’s for sure, but perhaps it’s the thought that it’s Kaoru’s blood that has Rei thinking that it has something unique to it, a sweetness that Koga and Adonis’s blood didn’t have. The indifference didn't last for much longer, however, as the texture on his tongue began to become too much for him to handle and he released Kaoru, licking the puncture wounds as he had been taught in the past.

He pulled away completely to look Kaoru in the eyes once he was sure the blood wouldn’t flow too much more. Kaoru looked at him with a smile, eyes only slightly distant. “Are you alright?” Rei broke the silence first.

“I am, I think if you had gone any longer I would’ve had a problem, though.” He chuckled. “Are you alright?”

Rei nodded, returning Kaoru’s smile. “I am…I’m sorry, I should’ve stopped sooner, I spaced out.”

“I thought you didn’t like the taste?” Kaoru clasped his hands together to rest on his chest, mirroring Rei’s earlier pose.

“I…didn’t really. But it tasted different than I thought it would.” Rei huffed, averting his gaze. “I was distracted by that thought for a moment longer than I should’ve been.”

Kaoru chuckled. “Perhaps the necessity of it is what changed your thought process?”

“Perhaps.”

“Rei-kun.” He unlaced his fingers and slid his hands to Rei’s thighs, Rei’s gaze coming back to him. Kaoru’s smile widened, eyes squinting. “Ready to resume where we were?”

Rei blinked, then grinned back at him. “Wasting no time at all, are you?”

Kaoru’s hands traveled up Rei’s thighs to his hips. “What can I say? You’re like, glowing right now, and it’s kinda hot.”

Rei chuckled, then leaned back down to kiss him.

Kaoru doesn’t tell him that he still has blood on his chin, and when Rei’s nosebleed does come back a few minutes later, it covers up the prior blood when it leaks onto Kaoru’s face mid-kiss, making Kaoru laugh. They absolutely have to clean the sheets after this.

-----------------------------

It’s immediately apparent the next day at practice that Rei was feeling better. He was more energetic, more aware, more talkative. Koga and Adonis didn’t comment on it until Kaoru entered the practice room late after leaving his badly scheduled photoshoot and changed to a t-shirt, revealing just enough of his neck that the bite marks are visible.

Koga almost growled at him. “Why do you need to wear a collar that loose?”

He grinned. “It’s easier to practice choreography in loose clothing, isn’t it? Besides, don’t I usually wear shirts like this to practice?” He started his warm up stretches, eyeing Koga.

“So you let Sakuma-san take your blood?” Adonis chimed in to try to break up the tension.

“Mhm~ Though it’s more like he let himself take my blood.” He switched to a new stretch as he talked.

“That’s good.” Adonis smiled and looked over to Rei. “You seem a lot better.”

Rei returned the smile and began to start talking when Koga cut him off.

“Should Hakaze-san even be at practice today then?” He said it almost accusatory, pointing with his thumb over to him.

“He didn’t take a lot.”

“Mm, as Kaoru-kun says, I only took a small amount to ease myself into drinking blood. As you know, I don’t like the taste.” Rei nodded. “But yes, even that small amount did make me feel much better than I have in a while.”

“What made you decide to do it finally?” Adonis had shifted onto the floor to help Kaoru with his last stretches.

Rei hummed, closing his eyes in thought. “I am tired of feeling so weak. Kaoru-kun had me sit in the shower last night because he was worried I’d faint standing up and hurt myself. Then when I was in there, I got a nosebleed that usually wouldn’t be a problem, but since I’ve been this way, it nearly knocked me out.” He opened his eyes. “I need to do what is best for my body, I suppose.”

Adonis nodded. “I understand, I’m glad you feel better then, even if it requires doing something you don’t like. It’s like taking a medication with a bad taste.”

“Exactly, Adonis-kun.” Rei smiled.

Kaoru stood up with one last stretch. “And with Rei-kun feeling better, we should get on our practice, hm?”

“Agh, yeah we need to catch you up.” Koga groaned. “Alright. We’re moving on then.”

-----------------------------

As spring began rolling in, it became harder for Kaoru to cover up the bite marks on his neck, and they weren’t exactly keen on flaunting their relationship so publicly since they’re idols, so problem solving began. Because of Rei’s vampirism, he was able wean himself off of taking from Kaoru as often as he was—which was only every other week, changing it to every three weeks—and was able to play off his new fatigue as a sun problem, which wasn’t entirely a lie either. Supplementing it with tomato juice offered some extra relief, even if it wasn’t as good as blood.

Thankfully, there are other places to get the best blood flow that also weren’t dangerous for Kaoru. In a pinch, Rei could go for the inner elbow as if he was a doctor, though it’s not easy to bite there. If he’s well aware of what clothing Kaoru will be wearing for the next week and a half, Rei can go for practically any spot that’s likely to be mostly covered.

But the best area that is a catch all for privacy and decency, they found, was the thigh, which unless for some reason Kaoru wanted to wear more revealing swimwear, was completely hidden. Unfortunately, this required proper planning ahead, as it wasn’t something they could do last minute in a public place by sneaking away for a few moments.

“I suppose it was only a matter of time before we had to start planning our sex lives out.” Kaoru laughed as Rei dragged him to the bedroom.

Rei snorted in response. “It doesn’t have to end with sex every time, dear. We watched a movie after the last time.” He lightly pushed Kaoru to sit on the bed. “Besides, we’re not completely scheduling that out, this would be an outlier.” He lowered himself to his knees and scooted towards Kaoru’s legs.

“I suppose you’re right.” Kaoru grinned down as Rei unbuttons his pants. Rei looked up at him as he slid the jeans down. “You’re so pretty.”

Rei hummed, slipping his fingers into Kaoru’s waistband. “I’m beginning to think all this is just a means for you to get off instead of a means of me getting energy.” He slid his underwear down, revealing both thighs, one of which was still very bruised from the last feed. He heard Kaoru laugh above him.

With his own teasing remark and the bruised leg in sight, Rei hesitated as he really took in the severity of the situation again. He rested his hands on the inside of Kaoru’s thighs as he sat back on the balls of his feet with a frown. A minute passed and then there’s a hand on his chin, tilting his head to eye level. He looked past Kaoru, unable to meet his eyes all of a sudden.

“This is for you, babe.” Kaoru moved his head to try and catch Rei’s gaze. “I’m playing it up a bit, I’m sorry if it came out serious.” He smiled.

Rei still avoided looking him in the eye, staring at his forehead instead, then looked back down to his bruised leg. “Perhaps we should bump the frequency down to once a month…” He mumbled. “Or drop it entirely for the summer…”

Kaoru frowned. “It’s your life, if that’s what you want to do, we can. I’m just concerned about your energy levels if we were to drop this entirely, you’ve been much more active since we started doing this.”

He couldn’t fight the claim, this is the most awake he’s been since before the war, it’s kind of nice, all things considered. The bruises are turning green as they get closer to healing. “I don’t know.” It was hard for him to admit, he’s so accustomed to having to know everything.

Kaoru watched him for a moment, then sighed, sitting up. “Come here.” He held his arms open. “Let’s rest today, then. We have no other responsibilities until tomorrow afternoon.” Rei stood up, wrapped his arms around Kaoru, and immediately shifted all of his weight on him, causing them both to fall back on the bed. “Whoa!” He laughed, patting Rei’s back. “Hold on hold on my pants are still down-“

“Just kick them off.” Rei mumbled into the crook of Kaoru’s neck.

“Not when you still have pants on! The sensory problems I’ll have are chilling to think of!”

“Then take mine off.”

Kaoru laughed. “Fine!”

-----------------------------

As the weather cooled down again, Rei permitted himself to go back to two feedings a month, as Kaoru had begun to wear higher collars again. There was something about feeding from his neck that Rei didn’t have problems with like he had with the legs. Perhaps it was the cliche of it, or the intimacy, or the way it looks when he’s done.

It was frustrating to him how much he clearly needed the blood, life could never be simple for him. He pulled away from Kaoru with hesitation, watching the blood trickle down his collarbone for a moment. Kaoru’s hand in his hair ran through his curls lightly. It was the intimacy, he decided, that drew him more to the neck than anywhere else.

“Still find blood gross?” Kaoru whispered, not so much for privacy as they sat alone in the meeting room, waiting for their juniors, but more so from the lack of energy after having given it to Rei.

Rei licked at the wound, peppering light kisses around it. “A bit.” He murmured back.

“You’re not fooling me, you know. Perhaps you just like my blood~ I’m your exception now~.” With his other arm available now, he pat Rei’s back.

Rei chuckled and sat back, looking down at Kaoru’s face. “I didn’t take too much, did I?” He brushed some of Kaoru’s hair out of his face.

“I didn’t eat necessarily well today is all, no worries.” He let his arms fall to Rei’s thighs.

Rei idly fixed Kaoru’s collar to cover the bite, mainly to make sure it’s coverable. “And you let me drink from you? Bad Kaoru-kun.”

Kaoru opened his mouth to speak when the meeting room door opened, Rei quickly threw himself down next to Kaoru on the off chance it wasn't Koga and Adonis coming in. Koga paused at the door at the sound of Rei hitting the couch quite heavily.

“Should I be concerned?” He eyed them, watching Rei sigh.

“No, I was just being safe.” Rei smiled.

“You have blood on your chin, it wouldn’t have worked.” Koga sighed as he walked in, followed by Adonis, whose eyes widened at the sight. Rei bristled and lifted his sleeve to wipe at it, lightly slapping Kaoru’s arm.

“I wanted to see how far into the meeting we’d get before you noticed.” Kaoru grinned. “Thought it’d be funny.”

Adonis sat down across from them. “I fear it wouldn’t have lasted very long.”

Koga closed the door before sitting beside Adonis. “You two are disgusting.”

“You say that yet you haven’t complained about Rei not being active recently, so you have to pick~” Kaoru shot him a very cheeky grin.

“What is this, a game? I have 0 control over you freaks.” Koga scoffed. “You know, when you stopped flirting with girls I was glad because it made you less annoying, then you immediately began flirting with Sakuma-san-“ He squinted. “And you just dropped the honorific! Shameless!”

Kaoru cackled at his response, throwing his head back as his chest shook for a moment.

“Oh my, you did drop the honorific.” Rei smiled, a hand coming up to his face to try and hide his smile.

“Both of you! Disgusting!”

Adonis smiled, letting out a small chuckle before speaking. “As fun as this interaction is, we do need to discuss funding.”

Rei beamed. “Yes yes.” He clapped his hands twice. “Serious mode everyone!”

-----------------------------

Adonis and Kaoru left the booth to go to the bathroom while they waited for their food to arrive, leaving Koga and Rei sitting across from each other. Rei hummed a song he had been fine-tuning for the last week while watching the direction of the bathroom. He faded out his humming as he glanced to Koga, feeling the other’s gaze piercing through him. “What’s on your mind, Koga-kun?”

Koga bristled for a second before sighing softly. “Are you happy? With drinking blood?” He frowned. crossing his arms.

Rei blinked, turning so he could look properly at his friend. “What do you mean?”

He slanted his lips as he thought of an answer. “You hate blood. Is it worth the energy?”

Rei thought for a moment, humming softly as he did. “I wonder the same thing, sometimes.” Is what he comes up with. “It’s different, having all this energy again.”

Koga huffed. “I don’t really think that answers the question.”

Rei closed his eyes, picturing the image of blood running down Kaoru’s neck. A year ago it would’ve made him queasy to think about drinking it, but now he felt indifferent towards it. “I guess I just don’t have an answer. It’s complicated.”

Koga was quiet, glancing to the bathroom’s direction again. “If the two of you weren’t dating, would you still do it?”

That was something that hadn’t really occurred to him. Would he? He can’t even imagine another reality where he was in this situation and he wasn’t in a loving relationship with Kaoru. He thought then about the possibility of it being Keito, or Wataru, maybe even Shu or Kanata. In each scenario, he could see it happening so long as they loved each other. “Hm…” But then again, would Keito be willing? The other oddballs would be different for sure, each one of them would have a different relationship to the act of blood drinking that just aren’t the same. “No. I think I’m only okay with it because of our relationship.”

Koga hummed. “Okay.”

“Any other questions?” Rei watched him as Koga tapped his fingers against his opposite arm. “You’re still curious, I can tell.”

“…Hakaze-san is fine with it?”

Rei laughed. “He was begging me to drink his blood, actually.”

Koga’s lips twitched almost into a smile before he caught himself. “Okay. That’s all I wanted to know.”

Rei opened his mouth to respond, only to close it as Adonis sat back down next to Koga and Kaoru next to him.

“Still no food?” Kaoru sighed. “I’m sooo hungry.”

“You went to piss, there’s no way the food would’ve come out in such a short amount of time.” Koga barked, uncrossing his arms.

“A man can hope! You’re hungry too, right, Adonis-kun?” Kaoru looked to Adonis pleadingly.

Adonis blinked, then raised his hands in defiance. “I am, but he’s right, we weren’t gone long enough.”

Rei smiled, watching the three of them bicker. It was strange to think about how distant the four of them were during school, he couldn’t imagine a world where they went their separate ways after graduation. The possibility of that was so real at one point, but now he’s sure only death would separate them, both as a unit and as friends, and these days, Rei didn’t feel that impending doom as hard as he once did.

“Rei, I can feel you thinking.” Kaoru nudged him out of thoughts. “Anything of note?” He smiled.

Rei hesitated to answer, then shook his head. “Just having my regular old man musings~ Pay me no mind, Kaoru.” Even though he had practically been waiting to drop the honorific since graduation, it still felt strange coming out of his mouth.

“Hmmm, I’ll have to pick your mind later then~” Kaoru glanced at the others, grinning when Koga made a disgusted face at them. He opened his mouth to say something more before the waiter finally came with their food. “Oh sweet!”

Rei kept his eyes on Kaoru, only glancing up at the waiter to give him a smile as his food was handed over.

Yeah, there’s no one else he would ever consider relying on for this. The only reality he cares about is this one.

“Are you not hungry, Sakuma-san?” Adonis didn’t necessarily sound concerned though, he surely understood Rei’s hesitance. He looked over to Adonis, then shook his head.

“My apologies, I was still caught up in my thoughts.” He put his hands together, said his thanks, and picked up his chopsticks, catching Koga shake his head at him out of the corner of his eye.

No other reality would be better than this one.

#enstars #ensemble stars #reikao #rei sakuma #Kaoru Hakaze #jenna named this one for me

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chatonnoir · 2 years

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hi i wanted to let you know i have been into miraculous literally since PV days but have strayed from the fandom since around season 2-3 when "salt" stuff started getting really popular. i was tired of seeing my favorites being mangled beyond recognition to fit some weird revenge fantasy, so i just stopped. recently though i missed the blorbos. its people like you who genuinely love the show and the characters that have made my more recent experiences incredibly lovely and fulfilling. thank u :]

Aw thank you honey :’) truly as someone who got a little in to ML in 2016 and enjoyed the cute fan content and saw how much fans praised it but didn't keep up with it, only to come back to it a couple of seasons later and see how insane the fandom had become over those few years .... it is truly exhausting and baffling to see what people do to the show now. Ig this is the danger of too much self-projection and a lack of critical thinking. Even people who claimed to be done with the show in season 4 continue to run blogs obsessed with """criticizing""" the show for the stupidest and most petty things possible on a daily basis, instead of just ... walking away from it if it doesn’t appeal to them anymore. It can really give you a headache.

But it all makes me think of that one quote from the end of Ratatouille (the movie which is indisputably Pixar Animation Studios' magnum opus): "the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so." ML as a show means so much to so many people of all age groups and backgrounds across the world. ML is far more meaningful and loved and contributes far more to the world than any random schmuck's salt post/fic/comic/video essay about it on the internet. ML is a sweet show! It's a cute and fun show! It's a kind show about emotions and relationships (platonic and romantic) and the power of love but isn’t designated as a Girls Show(TM), as shows with these themes often are, so boys are watching it too! And it shows us a male superhero being soft and sensitive and a hopeless romantic and in touch with his emotions without shame and a female superhero who loves him for it! Which is so important!

Similar kids cartoons when I was growing up, things like Danny Phantom, always had the romance as not an A or B or even a C plot but basically a Z plot. Literally on the back burner. An afterthought. Not something that was created out of passion and a belief that the characters would love each other and rather just thrown in because a main heterosexual relationship for the protagonist Has to be there, for some reason. Romantic moments would be limited to The Romance Episode(TM), wherein the "romantic development" is just like ... the characters accidentally held hands or kissed or something, and would often boil down to "this boy and girl are friends so OBVIOUSLY they have to like each other," without ever really showing me why they actually love each other. And don't get me started on allll the pieces of media with a forced heterosexual romance that is little more than "this male and female character have romantic and sexual tension because they're a male and female character." Or all the pieces of animated kids media where the main male character immediately likes the main female character because she's The Pretty One (As much as I love ATLA and k/ataang, even ATLA did this in the first episode). This all always felt so lacking to me as someone who was so enamored by love even as a kid.

Then comes along ML. Chat Noir didn't fall for Ladybug because he saw her and was taken with how she was Pretty. We know he thinks she's beautiful but he was completely unaffected by this fact when he first met her!!! It wasn't until he saw her stand up to evil that he fell for her! A male character falling for a female character not because Wow She Pretty but because of her bravery and cleverness and determination to stand up to evil and do good? That shouldn't be groundbreaking but it is!!! And it's beautiful!!! And Marinette didn't fall for Adrien because he was The Hot Guy or The Cool Hero or just because he's the male character and she's the female character so she just Has To. She fell for him when she saw his vulnerability and kindness!!! I would've LOVED to have grown up with a show like ML.

God the romance? I’ve never seen so much delicious Yearning in any other western kid’s cartoon. The door scene? Hoowee.... The way each of them so desperately wants the other to see both sides of them. The ending scene of Glaciator, when Ladybug is supposed to be “rejecting” Chat Noir and Chat Noir is supposed to be giving her a platonic cheek kiss, and yet it’s one of the sweetest and most utterly romantic scenes in the show. The sad undertone of Ladynoir, of being best friends but not being able to know a single thing about each other’s lives. The pure romance of the umbrella scene. The coup de foudre.

And it doesn't matter if the episode is romance-centric or not because ML has given us a male and female hero duo with so much genuine love and affection for each other that it's palpable in every episode from the very first season (especially if you’re watching in French lmao). Just... the sweet way they talk to each other, where you can hear their fondness for each other in their voices. The way they tease and roast each other. The petnames. The way they support and protect and take care of each other in and out of battles (specific moments like Ladybug looking after and reassuring Scaredy-cat Chat Noir in Reverser and Chat Noir putting Ladybug’s yo-yo over her mouth for her so she could breathe underwater in Truth make me so insane). The whole concept of “them against the world.” The way that even while loving Ladybug, Chat Noir has no problem telling her when he disagrees with her. The way they will have disagreements/conflicts that are completely in line with their established character traits and weaknesses, but aren’t able to stay mad at each other for more than a minute because of their softness for each other, and always come back from it because above all else they care about and love each other. It’s so unmatched. That’s love bitch

Speaking of how their conflicts are completely in line with their established character traits and weaknesses - the characters are incredibly deep and human and consistently written with motivations and personalities and flaws that all make so much sense! And they’ve developed so much since the start of the show! And the two protagonists mean so much to and resonate with so many people, kids and adults alike. Plenty of people have gone in to the depth of Adrien’s character and why he’s meaningful to people for paragraphs on end so I won’t repeat that, but I rarely see people talking about the beauty of Marinette’s character so I just have to point out like... A female superhero who is not a Strong Flawless Girlboss Who Needs No Man but one who is basically a female Peter Parker? A female superhero who is awkward around her crush and kind of Ridiculous and a hopeless romantic who makes stupid lovestruck faces at pictures of said crush and likes girly things and the color pink and wants to hold her boy’s hand and barely has her shit together and sometimes makes bad choices but is ultimately trying her best to balance her Great Power and Great Responsibility with her civilian life and relationships? Like, I’m not in to comics so sorry if this is inaccurate because I’m only pulling from Spider-Verse, but even Marvel’s attempt at making a girl Spider-Man through Spider-Gwen made her this cool badass with an undercut. I don’t want another Black Widow or Captain Marvel or whatever!!!! I love that ML basically gave us a female Spider-Man who is just as much of a complete disaster as Peter Parker was (talking specifically about Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield versions). I love the way both Peter and Marinette fuck up and make mistakes and bad choices and struggle to balance their two lives and accidentally end up hurting or pushing away the people who are close to them while they’re trying so hard to do what they think is right and protect the people they love with no real guidance. The loneliness of keeping their identities a secret through all that knowing that one slip up could put everyone they love in grave danger. Not to mention Marinette’s very blatant neurodivergent coding that is so clear in everything she does? Seeing her ADHD brain basically become her strength when she’s Ladybug through the bizarre connections she can make with random objects in a split second, just like how someone with ADHD would go on seemingly bizarre and random tangents mid-conversation because their brain latched on to something and quickly made a whole bunch of connections in a short amount of time while the other person was talking? Chef’s fucking kiss baby.

And I love the episodic adventures format!!!! Lots of people do!!!! The rewatch value of every episode is so good!!! Not everything has to be a 10-ep-per-season HBO drama where each 1 hour long episode is solely focused on moving the plot? People who ask for which episodes are important and which ones are “filler” that they can skip when starting ML are so weird. The fun of ML is watching all of Ladybug and Chat Noir’s fun adventures together in every episode? I love watching them just Being Ladybug and Chat Noir while they fight bad guys and have their banter. Episodes can just be Fun!!! Episodes can just exist to BE fun and silly or to explore a specific friendship or relationship rather than being focused on the main villain plot and that’s not a flaw!!!!

tl;dr: ML is a fun and cute show with very relatable, human characters and shows a beautiful, deep, powerful loving relationship between its male and female superhero leads that a lot of similar cartoons and even movies aimed at adults can’t pull off and a lot of people genuinely love this show because of it.

#answers #ml sugar #miraculous ladybug

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jdeowrites · 11 months

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Life Doesn’t Change After You’re Published, and other kinda-truths

It’s been one entire year since my debut novel, TJ POWAR HAS SOMETHING TO PROVE, was published on June 7, 2022. My little YA contemporary about a girl and her body hair, but also about so much else.

It sometimes feels like no time has passed at all—like just last week I was on my way to my little local book launch with friends. I remember that day so clearly. I got my hair (on my head, ha) and nails done for funsies, and my brother came to town for the launch. On our drive to the bookstore I was happy and excited, but also had jitters in my stomach because I wore a dress that ended just above my knees—with my very hairy legs exposed. Yes, this was despite not having removed my leg hair in years, and despite having worn shorts so many times in the interim without any discomfort. I knew why, of course: It was because now I was wearing an outfit typically very strongly associated with femininity (a dress) and somehow it felt like the two things couldn’t go together. I mused that here was further evidence that unlearning harmful things society had taught me was going to be a lifelong venture. Which was an interesting, amusing, and somewhat fitting realization to have on release day.

I still force myself into that discomfort often. In some ways, as I said to my audiobook narrator last year (Mayuri Bhandari, she’s amazing), I even feel some responsibility to do so. Whenever wonderful, open-minded readers say to me, “I didn’t even know brown girls grew that much hair,” I think to myself, well, then it’s even more important that I show them.

To not feel, as an artist, completely divorced from my own work once it was public was one of the many surprises of having a book out. People always say that life doesn’t drastically change once you have a book published; and that, I was prepared for. Frankly I was more than happy with that idea--I’d spent so much time on promo in the lead up that I was exhausted, and looked forward to a quiet post-release. I missed my writing.

But although there’s no magical life-changing switch, I’ve found that things have changed. Just slowly, and subtly, as satisfying and long-lasting change often is.

I’ve talked at length about how the content of the book changed me. But in a general sense, I can think of many things in my day-to-day life that have changed since being published. For example, having friends in real life snapping pics of my book at stores across the continent; having people in real life ask me about my writing (a bit of a horror really); being tagged in blog posts and Twitter threads where people talk about their favourite books; getting DMs from people gushing about the book; talking to teens as a published author about books; having readers stand in front of me and excitedly tell me all the things they loved about my book while I smile silently thinking is this real? Is this real?; the opportunities I’ve had to sit down with other authors and laugh and compare notes and realize hey, we’re all going through the same weird-ass publishing machine; being asked to blurb other authors’ books; walking into random bookstores and seeing a copy on the shelf; being invited for lit festivals and interviews and to give talks and such as an established author. But most of all, it’s in the simple joy of knowing, every day, I am a published author. That has changed me. It’s a new piece of my identity. Once upon a time, it was my wildest dream. It’s a special privilege to be able to say I’m now dreaming of new things.

So, if you’re one of the people who’ve read TJ POWAR HAS SOMETHING TO PROVE, thank you so much for giving my little book a chance. It’s been amazing to see its impact over this past year, and I can only hope it will reach even more readers as time goes on. And for everyone who’s asked me what’s next... I can’t wait to share. Eventually. ;)

#My posts #tj powar has something to prove #tjp #tgbd

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mrs-gauche · 2 years

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So uh.. I got like a bunch of new followers recently, so first off.. Hi everyone! 🙂 (Where did you all come from??) And second, I feel like it's been a minute since I've annoyed anyone with random useless voice acting trivia, and I need to warn remind people that this blog is also a lot of me rambling about German VAs in particular, because I’m a German obsessed with voice acting and I just can't help it.. It's a strange hobby. 😂

I’ve kinda mentioned it before on here (and I will probably never get tired of talking about it lol), but I just need you all to understand just how funny it is that Solas legitimately sounds like he could be in his twenties in German and how that makes him so much more suspicious in a way?? 😂 (To my ears, at least.) Like, judging solely by their voices, Solas genuinely sounds like he could be the youngest out of all the companions in DAI. Yes, he partially sounds even younger than Cole. (And fun fact, I actually looked it up, and his VA is in fact the youngest out of the entire main cast. lmao)

Unnecessarily long rambling incoming... 😶

See, his German VA is known for voicing a lot of teenage boys. But that's what's so hilarious about it. Solas has this super young voice, but then he suddenly talks like this wise old grandpa with this incredible eloquence, who has apparently seen a ton of war and tragedy?? 😂

And then you just sit here on your first playthrough like.. how on earth does this work, like something doesn't add up here. Either he has to be some kind of super brain “prodigy” or he's *definitely* hiding something.. because regardless of just how long you've been "visiting the Fade", there's NO way you know about all this stuff and have THAT much experience, when you.. just came of age. lol

In general, the way he speaks he sounds like a 100 year old with the voice of a 20 - 30 year old man in a 40ish year old body. And then you just sit here talking to him, like "What even ARE you???" 😂

This is especially hilarious to me when he tries to teach Sera about how to lead a rebellion, calls HER a child and gives her all this advice, when in German, he sounds just as old as Sera if not even slightly younger than her.

I remember this one banter with Blackwall about being a war veteran on my first playthrough when he was like "You should've seen me when I was younger" and I stopped in my tracks "What are you talking about?? Aren’t you, like, 25??"

Another little thing I found funny was how they made him say "Weidmannsheil" ("Hunt well") to the Inquisitor at the Winter Palace, which is like a traditional wish for good luck among hunters around here, but also something I have NEVER heard someone under the age of 80 actually say. lmao

Idk, I just feel like it gives his character this additional interesting but kinda bizarre note, where he comes off as so young and brash, which stands in complete contrast to his extensive knowlegde and wisdom and the way he talks.

But that's also what I actually kinda love about it and in a way, it's what I picture *actual* young Solas must've been like... because, being literally called Pride, the very counterpart of Wisdom in DA, it fits so well with what seems to be his internal conflict or maybe even his own past, assuming the Wisdom spirit turning into Pride theory is true.

Like, in a way, I feel like he wants to be the person he claims to be in Inquisition, to be just himself, the man who is nothing but a humble wanderer who shares and seeks wisdom, because that’s who he truly is at his core, what is left if you strip away all the weight of history, duty and rebel leader strategist. But it’s his pride that prevents him from being that person. And given his description of himself in his “youth”, I feel like the Solas of ancient times had that pride and impulsiveness turned up to 11. 😂

Which is also why I just can't get over how much BioWare's choice for this particular VA for Solas fascinates me (and I just want to believe that there must’ve been some good reason behind this choice, given how they knew how big of a role he was going to play.. And from what I’ve heard, BioWare is very considered when it comes to casting their VAs, especially for the companions, even in different languages).

Because with all due respect and credit to the German VA of Solas, Ozan Ünal, I love his work, but with him they chose a voice actor who's mostly typecast to voice the young, nerdy, soft, kinda bubbly protagonist guy with a heart of gold. Like, just to imagine him going any kind of antagonistic route is so funny to me, because that is really the total opposite of what he usually does.

Some casting director at BioWare really sat there and listened to *this* voice and was like "Yep, that's our next antagonist". 😂 And I'm gonna be super honest here, guys.. But regardless of the other 3000 reasons why I don't think that Solas will be the ultimate threat in DA4, this is actually part of the reason why I just can't picture him as a "true villain". Or rather, I'm just super curious to see if his VA could pull that off. 😂

Like, with Gareth David-Lloyd, I feel like he can do literally anything, but Ozan Ünal sounds just way too innocent to be really taken seriously as a threat, you know. 😂

#you can tell.. I think about this a lot 😂#way too much in fact lmao #yours truly - the founder of the Ozan Ünal appreciation club #I love how this is still an established tag on this blog lmao #I know I'm probably like one of five people in this world who like his German voice lol #and I still think that no one can top GDLs performance #but I just love both ok 😂#actually I love Bertrand Nadler in the French version too #they're all great <3 #but all jokes aside.. ever since I saw Solas' new model in the gamescom video in 2020..#..I actually have a REALLY hard time to imaging how Mr Ünal's voice is even going to match this new look 😂#like I know I shouldn't judge two seconds of early animation..#but in this short clip it looked almost like they stripped every bit of ''softness'' from him? 😂#and Ünal's voice is nothing BUT soft..? lmao #so uhh I'm REALLY curious how this will end up working.. or *not* working lol #solas #ozan ünal

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violet-heaven · 2 years

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https://bispywithanacecase.tumblr.com/post/687156453964906496/send-me-a-character not to be predictable as one could ever possibly get but the resident gay lil meow meow (not actually evil) wilsonn

Hey anon, I was so confused by this ask for a second before I remembered that I had asked for characters SHNSJKS I had to go back and check

My favourite thing about them: Wilson’s hand gestures are my favourite thing. He can be so dramatic, and it’s both funny and endearing. Like the episode “All In” where he was describing his win. And of course, his “ah ha, you tried to kill me!” Is one of my favourite quotes from the show.

My least favourite thing about him: This should be pretty obvious but his reputation of cheating on his spouses. I’ve always been against cheating with a burning passion. I do still think it’s a great flaw for him to have though, it makes a lot of canonical sense and adds so much to his character.

My favourite canon relationship: Hilson /hj. Okay if we’re talking canon canon, I don’t have any Wilson ships that I like. Amber and Wilson were cute? I never liked it even if I love both Amber and Wilson. So in terms of canon relationships, I guess I’d say Wamber (though that doesn’t work with my HC for his sexuality)

My favourite non-canon relationship: Do we need to ask. I have a whole blog on it FNDNSKS. House and Wilson are very very special to me. It’s my favourite ship in the show, and for good reason. I’ve talked about it so much at this point that I don’t think I need to go over the reasons but they fit together like two puzzle pieces and complete each other. I love them

The sexuality I headcanon for them: Props to the House M.D fandom for this, because trans gay Wilson has been in my mind since the time they came up with it. If you scroll down my posts, we have a lot of headcanons for the characters but I have a soft spot for this specific HC.

What I’d do if I spent the day with them: This is such a good question. I’d probably grab ice cream with Wilson and listen to him talk. He deserves to have a moment of peace, just to clear his mind after all the shit he’s been through. Besides, there’s this one moment where House says Wilson paints his toenails so I’d love to sit with him and paint our nails together.

Random fact about them that I like: His ability to trick House whenever he wants. Wilson knows House really well, and he can be extremely intelligent alongside Cuddy (a friendship I adore) so the moments where he manages to get the upper hand on House are fun, especially because of House’s expression every time.

This was fun! Thank you for the ask, anon :)

#house md #hilson #james wilson #ask me characters!#this was actually so fun #if anyone wants to ask about more house md characters #PLEASE do #also. you can ask for other fandoms too!#go ahead and send me a message if you’re not sure if I’m in a fandom

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stayflos · 1 year

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Baffled didn’t even begin to explain how Agnes felt at that point.

Being a good looking young woman with a taste for everything girly, Agnes had been on a handful of dates - none of them much on the successful side, per se. Despite her funny personality and playfulness, she tended to kick off better with women, for her humor orbits in a universe most guys are not so much aware of. She is straight, she is certain of that; she just doesn’t understand how weirdly hard it is for her to genuinely find someone who likes her witty comebacks and her all-over-the-place references on somewhat femcel movies. It’s frustrating most of the times, but it’s not like she’s willing to change her personality in order to get along with men.

It all started when she discovered Tumblr at the age of fifteen. It seemed magical - she was ready to give whatever it took to follow a certain but specific aesthetic. A girl alone in her teenage years is a wild thing, and Agnes had the most amazing teenage years blogging and bonding with random girls online, from all over the world. And when she was soon becoming too old for it, Agnes found herself lurking around a new aesthetic full of movies, quotes and character traits.

To be fair, Agnes genuinely liked the thrill of seeing women portrayed in such vengeful ways. It was funnily and oddly out of place, far from the reality she was familiar with - not that she wished to be like that, but to be able to witness it was enough. This passion for the aesthetic of it continued to grow as she started university in a promising institution in Korea, where both her parents attended.

It was difficult to blend in at first, for she grew up immersed in a different culture than most of the people she now shares her days and evenings with. However, Agnes managed to fit in and slide through the burdens of being a foreigner, and that, of course included dating.

College years are made for development in all aspects, and her love life wouldn’t be left behind. Agnes tried to pick cute guys by herself at first, just to be met with harsh turnbacks or just simple rejections. You’re not my type, Agnes-ssi, I’m sorry. I only date Koreans. Your face is not small as I like. Your beauty is too exotic for me. Agnes got to grips with hating Korean men in a heartbeat.

Her contempt for the single lifestyle didn’t sit well with one of her closest friend’s spirits. Agnes didn’t take her seriously when she said she would match her up with a friend in a blind date until she had time and place settled. Her friend knew Agnes was the picky type and promised the guy would meet whatever expectation she wanted.

And just so, it was nothing like she expected. Siwoo is her friend’s colleague who also studies computer science. Him and Agnes had the worst blind date in the history of the universe - they shared no similarities at all. The way he dressed completely blew her off. Her humor was way too odd for him to understand. Their interests were divergent in all possible aspects. They have nothing in common, and even that is an understatement.

What Agnes didn’t imagine to happen post date disaster was to stumble upon tweets about her while stalking Siwoo’s social media - how dared him to talk shit about her just like that? She always made sure to keep up with all the socials her dates have, and Siwoo was the unpleasant surprise. It’s not like she didn’t post her fair share of tweets about last night’s disaster, but Siwoo wasn’t the one with the right to say a word about it. After all, he was the one underdressed for the occasion.

Agnes didn’t waste time and replied to whatever he posted and invited him for a coffee shop date - she didn't have much interest on him, but she had all the intention of confronting him on that social media matter.

The afternoon was quiet and the coffee shop near the campus was not packed with people like it always is. Agnes got there first of course, ordering an iced chai for herself. She also took it upon herself to find them a table, electing one right by the corner of the shop. It had cozy cushion chairs and a yellow lightning.

Siwoo soon arrived, got something to drink and say right across from Agnes. She couldn’t help but notice he was drinking a chocolate Frappuccino with no coffee. “Are you serious?” Agnes had to laugh while pointing out his beverage of choice - that was ridiculous. “This is literally iced cocoa with whipped cream. I can’t believe someone would actually pay for this.”

Choi took a few sips of her chai while catching a glimpse of the guy sitting before her - he definitely is pretty. Handsome, if that made more sense. Despite his breathtaking and undeniable looks, it almost felt like Siwoo made an effort to look trashed; just like the other night when they went out, he chose some mid wash, worn out denim pants, a simple baseball model tee with blue highlights, rusty sneakers and a cap with a logo Agnes didn’t even want to know about. What the fuck is wrong with this man? Agnes choked out a laugh at her own thought. “So…” She started with nowhere to go, but carried on either way. “Do you have any psych ward recommendations for me?”

#agnes & siwoo

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psyched-for-you · 2 years

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I’d prefer if someone who has experience with/knowledge on dissociation answer this.

So, I’ve always struggled with dissociation. Growing up I’d constantly disconnect from reality in the sense that I was always “zoning out” and going into “la la land”. And I would (rarely, AFAIK) have blackouts and forget what I’d said/done, usually something “strange”. I also struggled with psychosis growing up, though the dissociation started long before the psychosis did, and nowadays as an adult I experience dissociation (including episodes of amnesia, not blackouts tho) during months where I have literally no psychotic symptoms. I hear voices internally inside my head, that are not mine and don’t sound like me, which I can’t control, of different genders, and sometimes I can “reach” them by clearing my mind and calling out for who is there. I quite literally experience multiple “streams of thought”, from different people at the same time, fully coherent (as far as I’m aware, it’s hard to focus on just one) for perhaps 15 to 30+ minutes straight (I don’t time it tbh) and when I’m completely calm.

Now, this sounds a lot like DID to me, and I have more symptoms to list but since I am not looking for a diagnosis and you can’t provide one, I’m really asking for advice on what I should do. I have some PTSD symptoms, but aside from that I don’t really have any known disorder which could explain these experiences. I experience hallucinations and disorganised thinking here and there, but not consistent enough to qualify for a psychotic disorder. Literally just random. Maybe I am slowly developing one, but there’s not enough proof of that, and my experiences line up so closely with DID that I can’t get it off my mind. I don’t know whether I should drop the idea of “multiple parts” altogether, since I’m not sure speculating so hard is “good for me”, and I likely will never recover the memories from my childhood and teen dissociative episodes. The problem here, though, is I’m too deeply fixated on the idea of a “dissociated me” and want to continue interacting with the complex voices. At times, this year, it has felt as though someone is “with me”, and I feel “far away” and as if a particular “voice” was on the verge of “switching places” in my body but it wasn’t a belief, more like an interpretation of a sensation. But I could’ve been influenced by the internet, like my brain fabricating/mimicking this particular symptom in a semi-psychotic way. I guess what I really want to know is: could psychosis mimick symptoms of DID? Could a person have these random symptoms with seemingly no trigger and have no diagnosable condition at all? Could I have something unique altogether, between dissociation and psychosis? Would it be reasonable to suspect a dissociative condition at all, or am I pushing myself into a narrative that I don’t fit?

And worse: would it be wrong or offensive of me to view myself as having “multiple selves” or “parts of self”, or to name my voices (which I acknowledge must be SOME type of psychological construct) should they not name themselves? If I truly discover I definitely don’t have DID, is it weird or wrong to feel as though I… must do? It doesn’t feel right that I’ve had all these experiences and I can’t “belong” somewhere.

This was long. You don’t have to answer BTW, I’m just very tired and confused and a little embarrassed and weirdly resentful. I feel like a bit of a freak. I don’t feel comfortable telling professionals IRL about this.

Hi! Quinn here.

I decided to answer, since I do have experience with both dissociation, psychosis and some degree of experiencing myself as multiple people.

Like you said yourself, I can't diagnose you, and I'm not a 100% sure I can tell you what to do, either.

But I can spend a few words on my own experience, and my own personal and professional thoughts on the matter.

So first off, I think I'm going to say this a lot on this blog, and it's going to become really annoying, but I truly believe that the amount of focus we have on diagnoses and their differences, can be harmful. I don't think it's very helpful to anyone to get stuck on whether they have this or that diagnosis, if their experiences are "valid" as this or that, based on arbitrary categorizations.

The fact of the matter is that you experience these things, and they are there, regardless of whether they belong to a named disorder.

I'm going to get a bit personal, and talk about myself for a hot minute.

I grew up with psychosis, dissociation and trauma as pretty consistent factors in my life. At a point in my early twenties (and arguably prior to that), I further became aware that I wasn't "alone" in my head. At first I was scared, and I told my psychiatrist, who immediately freaked out and doubled my dose of antipsychotics. That didn't really help though, and for a long time I fought against "the others". Then one day I met a new partner, who has DID.

I was terrified that if they found out about my "others", they would think I was mocking or appropriating their experience.

Long story short, they helped all of me come to terms with who I (we) are, but for years I struggled with that same question: Is it psychosis? Is it dissociation? An overactive imagination? A coping mechanism?

.... All of the above?

In the end I discovered that I don't much care what causes these experiences. All I know is that it doesn't harm me or others, and that there's nothing "morally wrong" about experiencing this level of compartmentalization without knowing the direct cause.

As for naming what your experience as other parts of yourself - all I can say is that in my experience, the act of naming something has a lot of power to speak it into existence. That's not to say "don't", but rather to tell you to consider what it is that you hope to gain by naming these parts of yourself.

I do find that dissociation and psychosis are related concepts, albeit not always co-occurring. But many psychotic people experience a level of compartmentalization that lends itself to thinking in terms of dissociative disorders, and many people with dissociative disorders could also be diagnosed with a psychotic disorder.

I think we're doing ourselves and our communities a disservice, if we insist that there can be no relation.

Given the professional climate, where most people with DID get a diagnosis as something psychotic, I do understand why people with DID are arguing strongly that they aren't psychotic. There is an important distinction between "pure DID" and someone with schizophrenia. But that doesn't mean schizophrenics and other psychotic people's experiences of compartmentalization are wrong or bad.

Schizophrenics etc who experience compartmentalization are not the problem - professionals who invalidate and belittle their patients, are the problem.

Sorry..... That was a tangent.

Anyways, yeah just... I know this is not easy, but my best suggestion is to work against the urge to obsess over what's "really going on", and shift your focus towards what feels right and healthy for you.

All the best,

Quinn

#psyched to chat #chat with quinn #syscourse tw #not really I think #but tagging jic

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omori-ethereal-route · 1 year

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I actually already replied this on a post of yours, but I realized that it would probably be easier for you if it's in an ask so I'm sending this now!

For the issue of Sunny, you could make it so that he can access the ethereal plane when he's dreaming like how some ghosts can access the living world through the dream world.

It would fit with his whole thing of dreams being his escape from the real world, the only real issue would be that he might get addicted to dreaming and relapse but he has his friends and his mom (?) to anchor him to the living world so that won't be a HUGE problem...

The only real issue left would be to get Sunny himself to believe that he's actually in the afterlife and not just dreaming again, but you could incorporate that into your storyline!

He could slowly notice the differences between the Ethereal Plane and a certain Dreamland, like how Klaus, Del, and Mari all have agency and lives outside of him, how huge and complicated the afterlife is, how he can't control things here, etc etc, until the realization hits him like a truck one day that this is REAL.

You don't HAVE to include this or anything, it's just a random idea I had one day and I decided to send it to you but I am insanely shy and very new to Tumblr so after I hit send I am probably going to spend hours screaming into my pillow so...

(Haha, you don’t need to worry ^^ I’ve been on Tumblr for over 5 years now and I still get insanely shy went sending stuff to people lmao)

(As for your idea, I really like the concept however since we’re currently only a few months, not even half a year, after Mari’s death, as of right now if I have my lore right, Sunny’s Headspace isn’t even finalized yet. It’s implied that Sunny has had to remake Headspace over and over and over because he wasn’t happy with how his friends kept turning out.)

(I think it’s also this point in time where this is even before The Wisest, Abbi, is banished to The Abyss. And since Sunny seems very keen in making his escape as perfect as possible, he wouldn’t really be thinking of anything else. Plus, it’s also implied that Sunny has repressed his trauma so intensely that he probably doesn’t even remember Mari’s dead and his mind will come up with an excuse on why she’s not around anymore.)

(Another thing is that while Ghost’s can enter the Dream Realm to interact with the living, it can’t really work the other way around. This is due to The Living not being able to access their Soul’s Cores for extra power. It’s considered Supernatural and therefore doesn’t really exist in the living. So even if Sunny wanted to dream and go to The Afterlife, we wouldn’t really be able to UNLESS he somehow is able to gain access to his Core WHILE still alive)

(One thing I do agree on tho is how addictive this could be. But not JUST for Sunny. It would also be very addictive for Mari too as while you may not see it, her mental state is still very fragile. She’s still doing her weekly therapy appointments so she’s slightly better but she’s nowhere near as she was before. This wouldn’t be a very good way for her to cope)

(When alive she was very independent, confident, peppy and very social. Here in The Afterlife, she’s slightly jumpy at times, she’s become introverted and shy- as seen from her not leaving the house for like 2 months- and lastly, she’s become extremely clingy and dependent on Klaus and Del. Them serving as a safe haven for her to go to in this completely new environment she’s been thrown into against her will)

(I really do like this concept and while I don’t think it’ll work too well with the story I’m planning to tell, I might possibly do some “What if” drawings that are non-canon :D I greatly appreciate the input and I’m just happy people wanna interact with this blog as much as they do! Waking up to 99+ notifications this morning was a very pleasant surprise and for a second I thought I was still asleep and I was dreaming xD)

#omori #omori game #omori: ethereal route #omori spoilers #omori mari #omori sunny #omori oc #omori klaus #omori wendell #ask response #text post #mod mack #mod ask #mod text #mod answers #mod response #mod post

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inkofamethyst · 1 year

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November 11, 2022

I actually did the worst on my open book popgen exam lol (not that it mattered anyway). I’m in a good place grade-wise, I think.

You know, all of these programs conveniently leave out the fact that not only do you have to submit a personal statement, but you have to also write four, five, six other little essays on random (they’re related) topics. Like,,, HUH. I just thought I’d pop in with a quick “boy howdy I wanna be a scientist, a woman in stem, a personified bunsen burner” and then be met with a round of applause and a stipend but apparently that’s not enough these days.

Also some of my apps are asking about my sexuality and that was definitely not a thing four years ago and like idk I know some ace folk feel like they fit in the queer community and that’s totally fine and I love my little hahaheehee’s on acetok but putting it in writing (yes, I recognize the irony considering the nature of this blog)??? FIRST of all I don’t know if this is real or if it’s purity culture-induced guilt. I could get married and it all falls away and suddenly you’ve got a sexual being on your hands (one in need of therapy tho bc I’ve heard it’s a difficult switch to make). SECOND what if it changes. I dunno I just.. there is no truly permanent sense of self and.. ugh. I mean I could say I’m aro/ace and they’ll be like “wow so she won’t be distracted by boys she’s a safe bet” but what they don’t know is that I’ll be distracted by everything else.

On a lighter note, listen. I get it, LMM maybe wasn’t at all what we were expecting from Hermes. I love the jokes, I think they’re silly because, ultimately, that man is a dork. A theatre kid (who makes pretty bangin music ngl). All adult theatre kids deserve ridicule. No exceptions. Obviously I want him to do well because I want the show to be good and I trust Rick. I love the silly jokes, but I feel a little bad bc we’re circling back to that time on tiktok when Hamilton had just been released on D+ and everyone was watching it and making fun of the guy even though he wasn’t doing anything except loving being on stage.

And, breaking news, it turns out that I may not get into that education class after all which kind of sucks. I have to wait until the start of next semester to see if the section has seats available at which point anyone will be able to register. Until then, I’m registered for a greek art class in its place.

Lastly, it’s surprisingly easy to slip into supporting eugenics and I blame this on the fact that geneticists find eugenics to be so abhorrent and such an uncomfortable part of the discipline’s history that it’s rarely actually discussed or taught. And this is the same problem with minimizing slavery or the holocaust or the treatment of indigenous Americans. Those who do not learn and critically consider history are doomed to repeat it. Scientists have an ethical responsibility to go beyond providing data. They must nip misinterpretations in the bud by addressing the context of their work. We read an article (more like a saga of articles, it was the scientific equivalent of a fight over twitter) in popgen which got me completely wired by the way that it used eugenics rhetoric without addressing that issue explicitly, and that feels so much more irresponsible than saying your a eugenics advocate outright (my prof had to assure me that the author was not, in fact, a eugenics guy). I just... science doesn’t exist in a vacuum, and we live in an age where information is readily available to any person at any time. Scientists need to keep that in mind and consider the social ramifications of their work, especially if it relates to humans. Neutral science does not exist!! We’re all influenced by the context in which we are raised!! Anyway, back to the original point, eugenics should be taught sensitively in science classes so that people understand a) how to detect the warning signs of a budding eugenics-based argument and b) why they’re wrong to begin with. Only then can we civilly discuss issues like how to mitigate the problems of the (fairly theoretical to begin with) human genetic load or whatever.

Today I’m thankful for the walks promenades I took last night and tonight!! It was decently warm and I just needed to blow off some steam (we’re a mere week into daylight savings and I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate how sunset starts at 2 pm I hate how I feel down more often now). Plus CRC3E38 was released yesterday and I tore through that thing on my walks. I’m thankful that there’s a big open area on campus where people often frequent so I feel safe walking at night. I’m thankful that I, a patron of the arts, went to see an (free) a capella show tonight, a lovely and uniquely collegiate experience. I’m thankful that my cello-friend liked my arrangement draft!! Finally, I’m thankful that I know people who will straight up tell me who the red flags in my field of choice are because I was definitely unknowingly flying close to one.

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crowleytwstrp · 4 months

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When will you get an actual therapist I’m doubting Yuu is handling all of the tramutized kids well

And why are you letting Yuu do all the work don’t you have staff or something 🤨

When will I- What? Who thinks that Yuu is the therapist?! Why would I ever put that on a random student, nonetheless one that’s from a completely different world?!

As for traumatized kids… do you mean the ones that had… well, um, particular personal incidents? I can assure you that they received treatment! Wether they’re still receiving said treatment is up to them to disclose of they want. Mind you, I said want, so I won’t tolerate hearing that anyone has harassed them into sharing any personal private information!

May I ask what you mean by me having Yuu do all the work? If you’re talking about Vargas’s camps, Yuu’s role in them was his idea. I think being able to observe the other students certainly isn’t as much “work” as the students who had to actually do Vargas’s challenges. I think it was rather fair since Yuu’s only magic is that troublesome familiar, Grim.

If you mean the one task I asked of Yuu during winter break, I thought it was clear that a majority of staff would be gone. There was still technically a few considering there would still be students on campus. Though I did hear that things went wrong and that the staff didn’t notice?! Ahem, anyway that’s a matter for me to deal with personally.

Is it really a crime to give a magicless student a few things to do? What else but help encourage Yuu to interact with other students by asking them to record moments! Plus they’re great at getting everyone to work together! They hardly have to do much for recording moments too, simply take a picture with the Ghost Camera!

Why I think I’m rather kind and generous! Helping Yuu fit in while keeping them from being overwhelmed with not being able to do what their peers can. How thoughtful I am!

As for that remark about staff. Is that some sort of crude joke about a majority of them being ghosts? We are fully staffed and the ghosts pride themselves with their work!

Unless you mean the ghost in charge of keeping my office clean. They do lay about dejectedly quite often, but I can assure you the rest of my staff is top notch!

[Ghost Janitor here, I did hear they addressed the aftermath of the overblots more in the light novel. It is weird that the game or perhaps just the English translation of the game doesn’t address what happens afterwards. Even in just a quick scene. I encourage checking out @raven-at-the-writing-desk ‘s blog for theories about the game along with the posts they’ve made about the light novel. I find it interesting.]

#twst crowley rp #twst crowley #ask #yuu is not my staff #who keeps saying yuu is the school therapist?!#i simply ask for pictures and im told im giving yuu a bunch of work?!#its simply a bonus that yuu is great at dealing with arguing students too

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mineofilms · 1 year

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Ita dicit, sic dicit…

Sometime in late afternoon, early evening, Port Charlotte, Florida, Gulf Cove, New Year’s Eve, 2022… It is a time for Reflection… We are Reflecting… Another year completed… In a year with minimal ups and many downs I have written more than I have in any previous year. I have taken my writing to “a new level of confidence and power…” ~Pantera – I am proud of these creations. Not all were as coherent as I would like and with all the crazy ass things that happened in this country in the calendar year of 2022 I wrote more about politics and the philosophy of our American Culture than I care to admit to. At least two or three times I said this would be my last politically charged BLOG this/that.

This Isn’t A Bad Thing Though.

It inspired me to really organize my thoughts and different notes on a variety of subject matter. This also made me look at all these unfinished and/or unstarted fictional projects. I started writing in a more serious manner back in 2015 with the intention to use that as a springboard to write fiction. My health and mental health got in the way of that a lot and still does. I can totally go into detail, but I am not going to. I mean why? Some will see it as bitchin’ and complaining. Some will see it as a “Can’t Do” attitude. Some will say I am just making excuses. Any and all that criticize me will need to walk in my shoes for 72 hours or more and get back to me on that one. Then, perhaps, I may listen to what they attempt to project onto me.

Dealing with health and mental health troubles 24/7/365+1 and most nights isn’t something most know anything about. They really don’t. I set thought traps out there to see how people react to things. Granted there are plenty of people out there that do deal with these things, plenty. I am specifically talking about those that are doing well enough in life and feel projecting onto others what they believe is a path to success with the expectation that it will work because it worked for them. A, “one size, fits all,” approach.

With That Said…

I have become semi-cynical in/on the deeper meanings into things. I am both mindful to those deeper meanings and extremely dismissive of, at random times. It is like trying to visualize the fourth and fifth dimensions. A bigger thing, so big, we cannot even see its curve, which makes us think it is flat; the UNIVERSE... I have said this a lot this year in my BLOGs. It is all about perspective. It isn’t even about being right/wrong, literally and morally. One is never the master but always the learner. Try telling both sides of the political coin. Even knowing that, one still has to deal with the subconscious mind and if that mind is heavily damaged, it is going to take a concentrated effort to correct it. Now apply that logic to not even knowing one has/had a problem to begin with. It is not so weird to feel cynical in a world that doesn’t even wanna get up and put pants on anymore. Or only communicate with a potential significant other through text and direct messages. We live in a culture now where people wanna be General Secretary of the Communist Party of the American Union, but don’t want to do the dirty work, aka, the hard work to get there.

You bet your ass I have been more cynical in 2022. The difference here is I can tell you why. I can tell you what. I can point to examples. Our culture/civilization is an absurd distraction from the ultimate meaninglessness of existence. “Only an idiot could think there is a point to any of this.” ~Emil Cioran – 2022 was a real rough one. The pink elephant in the room would be Hurricane Ian. Whelp… Well over $100,000 in damages to the house/property. We have three buildings here. The main house, mother-in-law suite and the spare garage/home gym. All three roofs need to be replaced. The pool cage that connects the mother-in-law suite and the main house is totaled. It is almost 1,500 sq/ft and the whole thing needs to be replaced. Click on the link to see what I am talking about: https://www.instagram.com/p/CjEpJ28ggpi/

We had no power for nearly 12 days from the time of the storm and no LAN/INTERNET services for 15 days. During this time, when I wasn’t sitting in lines for resources, I really thought about what I was gonna do with all this stuff. I took vocal notes on my phone. Recorded all the stuff I remember from the intense dreams I had been having during this time. I have been writing now 8 years. I have yet to really complete anything of note. Once the power/INTERNET came back up I went to work immediately organizing all my resources. This is a much different approach to how I have been attacking my writings/ramblings. A lot of the material I wrote about this year came from half thought out ideas, opinions on my own perspective and feelings. I will still free BLOG, like I have been doing. I just will be concentrating more on fiction than political commentary. I mean, how many additions do I need to suffer through on those “Twitter Files?”

This year on my own self growth has been focused on the different levels of toxicity other people will project onto me. This has made me pull away from being social with people in the real world. I want to help, I want to be there for others in my circle that I show them acceptance, but I am very limited and even more limited with patience/faith in other people. They simply never do what they say they are gonna do and how they do it. Ever… I do not always talk about my process for how I come to these conclusions. I have worked very hard on myself to have more INTENTIONALITY in my life, (to be about, represent, stand for, or be directed towards some object or state of affairs). Just having the intention isn’t enough though. If one does nothing about it and that is where my crossed roads end.

If one seeks change and does nothing to make said change happen then nothing will happen and nothing will change. One should live as one were already dead, as only then can one truly appreciate life.

What is seen by me, what is shown to me; and what is projected onto me by others to entice me to believe, never is the same thing or even closely associated together. I am to trust others at their word, but the words are not followed up by the action they represent. You might as well just start printing money. That is what inflation is. Printing the paper money, (words). Not putting the gold into the Reserve, (Doing what was said to be done or true). Yet, that is what is expected of me. Take things at face value and have faith that everything will work out. Since faith is not part of my decision making process and if trust is broken it is nearly impossible for me to overlook that moving forward. Like I said, “a concentrated effort.” You gotta make the thing real…

For me simply believing in something and having faith in something makes it work by default is not part of my decision making process. I do not deal in imagination/fantasy as reality. You want something real, make it FK’n real then. If you cannot show me the “real potential” in a thing is real potential, and not some “manifested pseudopotential.” One or many will not be able to convince me of it, even if they make good points and could be correct on their assessment of that. I just do not have it in me to take those leaps in faith in order to affect my decision making process if faith is the only and/or main attribute to make a decision.

Potential is: 1) Latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness. 2) The quantity determining the energy of mass in a gravitational field or of charge in an electric field. These are good definitions, but they are both based on hypothetical thinking. I really do not get along well with the “manifest your future” people. Stop talking about it or projecting it onto other people because you want it to be real so bad but lack any of the actual attributes to make it real and tangible yourself. They need others to believe to make it real because the thing isn’t real to begin with. Your process may not work, shit, probably wouldn’t/won’t work for other people. So just stop that already. The question of your existence isn't solely about what you are, how much money you have. It is about who you are. It was relevant in the late 90s as much as it is now. "You're not your FK’n khakis." ~Tyler Durden, ‘FIGHT CLUB’

Who are you? Who, who, who, who? Who are you? Who, who, who, who? Who are you? Who, who, who, who? Who are you? Who, who, who, who? “Who Are You” – THE WHO

I Have Always Been A Noncomformist.

The last half of 2022 has been me forwarding off other peoples' projections of how I should be, what I should do, and how I am supposed to feel about all that in relation to how I spend my time, the remainder of that time, the remainder of my health, the remainder of my mental health and what I want for myself, by which, by all accounts is mine and no one else's. So he says, so he says...

No one else’s not even God's, so he says...

Yet, I am the one that must suffer. Not the people who are projecting to me onto me, but me, so he says.

No... I am the one dealing with stuff. Not you and not them, not anyone.

So he says...

No one was invited to deal with me.

So he says the nonconformist. So he says

It has been said too many times now. So he says... Here here... So he says... It has been weighed, it has been measured, and they have been found wanting.

So he says, so he says…

Come back and try again if anyone believes they are worthy. So he said, the nonconformist…

~David-Angelo Mineo (12/21/2022)

“You’re only proud of your creation’s success because you want to be creative; but creation doesn't happen through gimmicks, technology and distribution. It doesn't even happen through work. Creativity is frankly adjacent to mental illness, and overlaps with it substantially. A lot of talented people kill themselves; and all of them are miserable. The real gift is to be ungifted. That's the gift you were given…” Ghost of Joseph Campbell; speaking through Morty, from ‘Rick & Morty.’

Probably the most cynical thing I saw portrayed in entertainment in 2022. However, not all is bad. Not all is lost. Quite the contrary… I have my writing organized in a more workflow style. I will be much more proactive in how I attack these subjects. As far as my health goes. I am stable, but I am still in a yellow state with my blood sugars. If I was still drinking I’d be right where I was in June of 2020. I am not that much better, so he says, lol…

Dear READERS,

We are gathered here today to remember and celebrate the year 2022, who hasn’t left us far too soon. My God it hasn’t… 2022 was a kindless, compassionateless, and unloving year that destroyed the lives of many in South West Florida.

2022 had us all terrified for our lives and always took the time to enjoy the simple pleasures of tormenting us each day. 2022 had, at times, a sense of humor and could always make us cry, then laugh at ourselves for crying, even in the hours of the early morning. 2022 was also deeply engaging in gas lighting and virtue signaling which was always there for those “recreational outrage junkies.”

2022 was a devoted parent to the Woke and 2022 will be deeply missed by all who experienced it. 2022’s absence leaves a decline in Woke Culture, thank the Norse Gods, that should never be filled again. 2022 will always be remembered for the gas lighting, virtue signaling, lies, Kevin’s and Karen’s brought into the world.

Let us take a moment to piss and shit, cough, “pay” “tribute” to 2022 and the wonderful year it was. May that ass-clown rest in peace and may the loathing, PTSD and depression continue to bring discomfort to all of us.

Thank you…

Ita dicit, sic dicit… (Latin for: So he says, so he says…) By David-Angelo Mineo 12/31/2022 2,157 Words

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marauderundercover · 3 years

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Day 4: Ghosts

Dick Grayson was having a completely normal day. He’d teased his little brother about his new (well, newly introduced, they’d apparently been dating for awhile) girlfriend, helped his other brother with a cold case that he’d been working on for awhile, and ate three bowls of cereal. Completely normal. Or, it was until he decided to see why the alarms were going off in the west section of the manor. People rarely went there, so he flips on the security cameras, guessing that it was just a false alarm. Boy was he wrong. His jaw drops as things start floating around the room. Books, cookies, cheese, pens, all sorts of random things start floating. But the weirdest thing was the way the cookies and cheese would disappear with tiny bite marks, as if someone, or <i>something<i> was eating them.

“Nope. Nope, oh heck no.” He murmurs, jumping out of his chair and running towards the dining room in the hope of finding some of his family. He’d grab those he could and get them out of the house, then call the others. But staying at the manor when it was obviously overrun with ghosts? Not an option. He sighs in relief when he sees Damian’s girlfriend, Marinette, and Damian laughing in the dining room.

“Dick, are you okay? You look pale.” Marinette says worriedly. He shakes his head and grabs both kids, tugging them after him as he rushes out of the manor.

“Grayson! Stop this at once. What is the meaning of this?” Damian scowls, but Dick doesn’t slow down.

“Ghosts! In the manor. Saw them on the security tapes.” Dick says, huffing in frustration when Damian jerks his wrist away and stops moving. “Little D-”

“No, Grayson. Are you seriously trying to evacuate the manor because you think you saw ghosts on the security cameras?” Damian asks, clearly frustrated. Dick frowns.

“Well it sounds bad when you say it.” He says. He looks to Marinette for help, confused as to why her face is bright red. “Sunshine?”

“Okay so don’t freak out.” She says. Dick nods, and she sighs. “So you know how I’m the Guardian of the Miraculous?” She asks.

“Yeah, and you have all of the Kwami with you, like, all the time.” Dick says. Marinette winces.

“Right. Er, do you remember when I told you that magic and technology don’t really get along?” She asks. Dick frowns, his eyebrows furrowed together until it clicks. Huh.

“You mean the ghosts on the security cameras-”

“Were actually the Kwamis. Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve tried to tell them to stay in my room, but they like all the space here.” She says, smiling apologetically. Dick just smiles, relief flooding his system. It’s not that he was scared of the ghosts, but….ghosts are an unknown. And you never know when a ghost is going to turn into a vengeful spirit instead of a peaceful one. And he was not about to risk his family.

“I have an excellent idea.” Damian says suddenly, and Dick’s surprised to see the mischievous smirk on his little brother’s face.

“Is someone going to be hurt?” Dick asks, and Damian scoffs.

“Of course not. I do have plans that don’t involve injury, Grayson.” He says, nose in the air. Marinette snorts.

“Sure you do, mon oiseau, sure you do.” Marinette says, grinning at Damian. Dick just smirks at the red creeping onto his brother’s face.

“Did you want to assist, habibti, or would you rather let Drake get away with using the last extra caffeine coffee pod?” Damian asks, a knowing look on his face. Marinette gasps before nodding.

“That coffee stealer is going down!” She cheers before the two head back into the manor, discussing their plan the entire way. Dick blinks, and just shakes his head. He knew when to count his losses and this was definitely one of those times.

***

Marinette grins at the illusion she’d made using Trixx’ help. Damian had originally wanted the Kwamis to just keep doing what they were doing, but she was pretty sure Trixx had a sixth sense when it came to mischief and tricks. They’d come flying in almost immediately and all but insisted to be part of the plan. It was perfect. Not too mean, but definitely a fitting punishment for taking the last coffee pod. She suppresses giggles as Tim walks in and does a double take at the illusion.

“Er, hi. Do I...do I know you?” Tim asks with a frown. Marinette snorts as Trixx makes the ghostly woman tilt her head and then start towards him. Her head falling off and into her hands. The piercing shriek from Tim makes Marinette laugh wildly, the illusion falling almost immediately.

“Tt, Drake, that was weak.” Damian scoffs, leaning out of his hiding spot.

“What the hell was that?” Tim asks, looking much more awake than he did five minutes ago. Marinette stands from her hiding spot and smirks.

“That, my dear friend, is called karma ala Kwami.” She says with a wide grin.

“For what?” Tim asks.

“Taking the last coffee pod.” She says, and Tim sighs.

“I will never get between you and your coffee again.” He promises. Marinette drops Trixx’ transformation so that she can give them a high five.

“Mission accomplished.” She says with a smirk. Trixx just grins, winking at Tim. There was never a dull moment around here.

Tag list: @maribat-october-rarepairs @stainedglassm @kittenmywaythrulife @laydeekrayzee @doll246 @queenz-z @deathssilentapproach-blog @literaryhiraeth @unoriginalmess

#maribat #MaribatHalloween21 #daminette #platonic dickinette #platonic timari

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obey-me-rot · 3 years

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You Shouldn't Be This Cool

A/N: Something purely self indulgent to kickstart this Obey Me writing blog. The idea mostly belongs to @warm-meelk because of how they drew their MC playing bass and then sprinkled in the fact that Levi would be the pianist and I just kinda...went from there q wq. And I also play bass so...all the more reason to write this!

Warnings: Levi trying to justify some of his more weird actions while MC seems to not only know...but enjoy the attention.

Levi wasn’t a creep, he was passionate.

He was passionate about TSL, he was passionate about anime, he was passionate about his idol groups and he was even passionate about learning new skills in order to better evolve himself into an ultimate fan.

So what he did today was not because he was a creep!

It was because he was passionate.

“Can you play that for me again, Levi?”

The third born tucks his feet on his chair, sipping up the noodles of his second cup of ramen as he watches the video feed from this afternoon. He smiles as the camera zooms in on your fingers, each one plucking the string of your bass absentmindedly while you listen to the melody he had composed.

As a TSL fan, he was ‘in the know’ of most TSL fan events whether they were held in the Devildom or in the human world. If they were worth the trouble he would attend and if it seemed like it was just a repeat fan event for one he already attended then he would just get the merch from the safety and comfort of his room.

Yet a completely new fan event had popped up on his radar one day, an online one.

One that challenged each and every TSL fan to create a song dedicated to their favourite lord.

Levi doesn’t remember much after that announcement, all he remembers is knocking on your door at devil knows what hours of the morning and shoving the music sheets in your face while pleading for you to help him out.

Your musical talent wasn’t hidden in the House of Lamentation. While most of the brothers could boast about having pretty decent singing voices or being ‘okay’ at certain instruments, your ‘weapon’ of choice was perhaps the most random but also well fitted instrument for someone like you.

You played the bass.

If he wanted to get specific, you played the TCB1006 Ibanez electric bass. You had mentioned in passing when you and him had met up to start ‘jamming’ out and Levi had retained that fact along with his hundreds of other facts that had to do with your particular interests and likes.

Again, because he was passionate...about your friendship.

The camera zooms out to film both of you, a happy giggle taking him over as he saw just how chill you looked.

How unfair was it that out of all the instruments you could play, you had to play the one that just made you look even cooler?

You were laying in his tub while he sat on the very chair he was sitting on now, plucking strings seemingly at random but humming some bars and trying to fit them with his melody. Your feet were propped up on the edge and the soft brown color of the guitar meshed so well with the glowing blue lights of his room that he is so glad he picked this spot for his hidden camera because you looked ethereal.

“I still can’t believe you composed this. It’s pro-level.”

“H--Ha! Of course! This is nothing but a piece of cake for me! If it's about the Third Lord and Henry then I’m all over it!”

Eyes take in the way you sit up and position your bass higher, fingers having a better reach as you start to ‘slap’ the strings in order to create a more wavy and deeper sound.

“Okay...I think I got it. Can you play the melody from the beginning?”

Oh here it was.

Sitting up, Levi puts his cup noodle down and grabs the nearby music sheets, pen already in hand as his attention on you becomes laser focused.

The beat you play is, well, playful. It is a high contrast to his almost operatic piano melody and he could almost hear himself playing a bit slower as if wondering if you had even heard what he was playing

“Uh MC…?"

“Trust me.”

Levi bites his lip as he feels his heart skip a beat, not even having to look at the screen to see that he was blushing. His past self was so predictable…

Although wasn’t his present self all the more pathetic for reacting to your words a second time?

He’d rather not think about it too much.

Your purpose had come shining through the moment Levi started to really hear the notes you were playing. It was almost as if you were mimicking Henry’s character with the bass. Cool, collected and eager to learn more about the world he had been thrusted into, your bass managed to capture the curiosity of Henry’s while his piano clearly symbolized the shy but deadly Third Lord.

The bass would go high, the piano would go low but as the melody started to harmonize so did the way your playing did with his. It was if he was the Third Lord, shyly peeking at the way Henry interacted with the world around them…

Only to turn around and invite him to join along.

His eyes go up to the screen.

You looked so happy, your fingers plucking away as he continued playing along with you. Your eyes turn to look at him and he almost wants to punch his past self in the face for not looking back. The camera had been perfectly placed to capture the way you tilt your head as you stare at him, chuckling as he clearly gets far too into the music for his own good.

To miss such an exclusive UR moment from you, he should be ashamed of himself.

“Haha. Thank the devil I came up with this camera idea!”

Levi blinks as he looks around, coming face to face with his beloved Henry as the fish stares at him from his bowl.

“...don’t look at me like that, Henry…”

The fish blinks.

“I wasn’t doing it to be a creep! I just wanted to write down the notes MC played before I forgot them.”

Henry’s mouth opens and then closes.

“And see! I even missed such exclusive moments from them! Look!”

He pauses the video and turns the screen so his fish can take a better look.

“5:06. I even timestamped it. Right here, MC is smiling and looking at me so cutely that it would be almost a sin to not record it!”

His fingers tap a couple of keys as he goes back to another point of the video.

“3:58, they smile and do such a cool trick with their fingers that I didn’t even notice that they stick their tongue out whenever they get too into playing! Do you see that Henry?”

A couple more taps as he keeps the video playing, the goldfish swims close to the edge of the bowl.

“I missed so many great moments all because I was so lost in playing! And I just didn’t want to ask them if I could record them because then they might think I’m using the footage for some sort of weird purpose and I would never do something like that to them! My Henry is far too amazing for me to just watch them one time! I just wanted to make sure of the notes they were playing! This is all for passion--!”

“Levi?”

He stops talking as he looks back at the screen, Henry swimming away while Levi tuned into the video once again.

“Was that good? I don’t know why but having the bass go a bit higher as I mute the strings feels almost like--”

“Like a conversation! It’s like the instruments are talking!”

Okay maybe this camera idea wasn’t the greatest after all, that was such a stupid thing to say and if he could go back and just slap the words out of his very mouch, he would.

Yet once again, his MC showed just why they were at the top of their ‘favourites’ list.

“Yeah! Like a convo!”

The conversation dissolves into randomness as Levi sighs and looks down at his sheet music. He only got a few notes down. Devildom, what was the point of having perfect pitch if he didn’t use it all the time? He straightens his screen out as he grabs a pencil instead of a pen, knowing full well that if he wanted to get this done he would have to rely on listening to you play and not looking at the screen.

If he finished this quickly then he would be able to stare at yo--it...he would be able to stare at it the rest of the night.

He goes to rewind the video but stops when he notices the scenery has changed just a tiny bit. You were out of his bathtub and looking at his aquarium, tapping the wall twice as some of his other fishes came up to greet you.

They were already so accustomed to you that he was sure even Lotan would know who you were.

Your attention goes from his aquarium wall to his computer, looking at all of his figurines and other merch he proudly showed off. A few more steps to the right and you were looking at his bookshelf--

Only for your eyes to lock with his.

He rolls his chair back immediately, his heart dropping to his feet as you reach out to the camera and pluck it from its hiding place.

No. No no no nononononononono!

This was it. You were done with him. Levi didn’t have a lot of friends but he knew that this was probably a friendship ender. His pupils contract as he sees you look at the camera with a confused look, already guessing your thoughts before you could vocalize them.

This weirdo was filming me the entire time. And he was hiding the camera? Disgusting. I’ll make sure to never come by his place again. What an absolute creep.

“MC...I didn’t--”

His jaw clicks shut as small tears gather at the corners of his eyes, not yet falling down his cheeks as he sees you smile and wave at the camera.

What--?

“Levi. If you wanted to film you didn’t really have to hide it. I want something to remember this session too. Next time you can just ask~”

You wink and Levi can feel his heart going from the floor all the way to his throat.

“Oh and send me a text when you have the footage ready. We can watch it together.”

He lets out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding as you place the camera back before his voice rings out from the video, exclaiming about all the snacks he had brought. So that’s why he had found you standing up, and here he thought you were leaving…

Send you a text...the footage…?

His hands scramble to his phone as he quickly enters the passcode, blushing as he sees a new message from you.

“Mind if I come over again? I have a new bassline I want to show off.”

Levi puts the phone down slowly before getting up---

Only to immediately fall down, hands over his face as he curled up on the floor.

Of all the characters he thought he would be in a shoujo, the last one he thought he would end up as is the heroine.

Not that he was regretting it, this was perhaps the best outcome that had happened in his now not so miserable life.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me leviathan #obey me mc #obey me levi x reader #//*holds levi*#//I just think he is neat q wq

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goodneighborxfallout · 3 years

Text

Reaction: Having sex with the companions

Cait

At first, Cait would be an absolute animal in bed. No shame, no holding back, just raw, animalistic sex, and the more worn out you were after the deed, the more satisfied she was. Almost like she had something to prove. And she realized quite soon that that was indeed the case. Not that you had put expectations on her, but she had a reputation and though she trusted you enough to be open to you and even let you help with her drug problem, there were times when she - subconsciously - would slip back into her old defense mechanisms. Depending on how close you two were the first time you had sex, it might take quite some time or not at all for Cait to open up to you about all of this and tell you that she’d be down to take things slower if you want to do that. Wanting to make her feel loved, you of course take her up on that offer and the first time you two took things slow in bed was for the both of you probably the best sex you ever had. Though she wouldn’t likely want to admit that, and keep these moments of slow love making for special occasions.

Curie

Curie would be pretty much down for anything as her curiosity almost always got the best of her. That same curiosity would make things awkward sometimes though as she’d ask very non sexy questions during the deed or explain the more biological processes that went on in your bodies while you were just trying to make her feel good… Overall, sex with Curie would include a lot of experimenting and getting to know each other’s bodies from head to toe.

Danse

Danse would be quite new to the concept. Him being a man of protocol, not personal relationships, made the whole thing quite nervewrecking for him. But soon he would lose himself in how good it felt, how good you felt. He’d love to be close to you, holding you or burying his face in your neck, but always making sure to be gentle with you throughout the whole experience. If the events of blind betrayal had already taken place, it would take Danse a lot longer to get to this stage. No matter how much you reassured him that you loved him no matter what, there’d always be this little voice in the back of his head reminding him that you deserved so much better than someone… something like him. He wouldn’t say no to you if you wanted sex, in fact he’s probably do everything you wanted him to, because being as flawed as he was, the least he could do was obey your every wish and command. Sex would revolve completely around you, with Danse almost forgetting to enjoy himself whilst busy making you feel good. If your relationship kept going strong however and you kept reassuring him of how much you loved him he would eventually try to push his insecurity and doubt away and Danse would start behaving like I described in the beginning of this reaction.

Deacon

Deacon isn’t the kind of guy to mindlessly have sex with people ever since Barbara died. The few times he had were always mere days before a facial reconstruction surgery, so he’d never have to actually “face” the people he’d share a bed with. So it can be safe to assume that if you’ve reached the point in your relationship where Deacon is willing to have sex with you, he already trusts you 100%. Deacon will be rather careful the first few times you two have sex. He’d want to make you feel good, as it had been a while since he has cared about the pleasure of the person he shared a bed with, never mind his own pleasure. So the first few times would be all about you. Only after you’d both discover each other’s turn ons, kinks and/or sensitive spots would Deacon try some light teasing. If you’d react positively to it, the teasing would get worse over time, until eventually pushing your boundaries would become almost routine during sex. He didn’t mind you doing the same to him, though if he could choose, he’d definitely prefer to be in control.

Hancock

With Hancock it’s neither trust nor experience that’s the problem. He has enough experience to last him a lifetime (or two), and if you say you love him, he wholeheartedly believes you. What was holding him back however was his low self esteem. Sure you said you loved him, but you’d never seen him naked before. Did you know what a ghoul’s body looked like? Probably not and whatever you were imagining, it probably wouldn’t be nearly as pretty. He’d ask you a few times whether you were 100% sure you wanted this and if you insisted that you were, he’d end up fulfilling your wish. If he noticed that you weren’t grossed out by his body he’d become more confident and sex would become a much more frequent occurrence. Hancock would be open for trying literally anything you wanted, but he’d never push his own kinks onto you (sure he’d talk dirty to you and tease you occasionally, but he would never ask if he can blindfold or tie you up for example, though he’d never refuse it if you suggested it).

MacCready

Sex with MacCready would be unpredictable. He’s open to trying a lot of things, he has no preferable position or location, and on top of that, he’s still really young so his need for sex would pop up in the most random of situations. If you’d have a particularly weird or uncommon kink, he’d might take some convincing before he’d be down to try it, and most of the time he’d take most pleasure just doing things vanilla.

Nick

Doesn’t take you seriously at all. He thinks you’re either joking or completely out of your mind the first few times you tell him you’re down to have sex with him. He doesn’t think your humor is great, but he’ll just brush off whatever you said without going in on that. It’ll go so far that you actually get upset with him about his dismissive demeanor that you just straight up ask him: “What is so wrong with me that you don’t want to have sex with me?” This is the moment Nick actually realizes that you’ve been serious all along and he wouldn’t believe what he just heard you say. “Wait a minute, do you honestly think you’re the problem? Have you seen me? All this skin and metal is just going to make this unpleasant for you.” You’d remind him that if you’d have a problem with any of that you would have never gotten together with him in the first place and for the first time in a quite a long time, Nick felt incredibly stupid for not figuring that out himself. Though still not convinced that you’d actually enjoy it, the sex would be slow and careful and it wouldn’t happen all that often.

Piper

Piper is not one for one night stands and random flings. If you two were to have sex, you’d already be in a relationship. That’s really the only requirement for her. Once you two are together and she trusts you, the sex could be as slow and soft or wild and crazy as you’d both see fit. She’d be down for it. Weird kinks? “Um, okay, hadn’t seen that one coming, Blue, but hey don’t knock it before you try it I guess.” New position? “Let’s hope I’m flexible enough for this…”. Different location? Okay, here she might draw the line. Public sex would really depend on the location, the more risk of getting caught the less likely Piper would give the ok sign. After all, sex was still a private thing and she didn’t want anyone walking in on you two.

Preston

Sex with Preston would be pretty vanilla. This boy isn’t into anything weird or extreme, and not much into dom/sub play either. Things would rarely get wild inside the bedroom as he’d see sex more of an act of showing how much he loves and cares for you. (Sorry this one bad, I really don’t like Preston rip.)

X6-88

The concept of relationships is foreign to him and before you openly ask him to have sex with you, he’d never even thought about it. He’d say yes very casually, because he doesn’t understand that sex for couples can be a very special moment. Even if you tell him that it is something couples do when they love each other, he wouldn’t put much mind to it. You love him, he loves you, great, let’s have sex then. Though he’d definitely understand way better why people like having sex so much after actually doing it, he might never grasp the emotional bond that can form when two people who love each other have sex.

Bonus! Maxson

As elder, Maxson is used to showing dominance, ordering people around and demanding respect. At first, he’d take these things with him into the bedroom, because sex puts you in an vulnerable position and he was not vulnerable. No matter how much he trusted you, there was this irrational little voice in the back of his head that stopped him from letting down his walls. At least, that was what he was like at first. It would take him some time, maybe even a very long time, maybe it would actually take so long that you’d have to be the one suggesting it instead, but he’d finally be down to trying to take things slow. Keep in mind, this would only happen if he trusts you 100% and knows for certain that you haven’t breathed a word to anyone about how Maxson is in your relationship. He’d end up enjoying taking things slow a lot, but one night really changed everything. This one night was the one when you decided to take control. It was the first time in a very long time that Maxson let someone else do the work, where he could just lie back and enjoy being submissive, and enjoy it he did. But boy had you done something now. Maxson would always come to you after having a particularly stressful day and let you take control, to the point where him being dominant in bed would almost be a rare treat.

Oh boy why did I choose to start off with this? Haha

Also I only added Maxson because almost every blog sees him as a dom and I’m just not sure if I agree. But apart from this reaction, he’ll only be included if someone specifically asks for it.

#fallout 4 #fallout 4 reactions #reactions #cait #curie #danse #deacon #hancock #maccready #nick #piper #preston #x6-88 #maxson #smut

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