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#this is as much a self roast as a call out post
kingdomoftyto · 1 year
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"Vampires don't hold grudges. We harbor them."
Who WROTE this fucking movie ghsdjkghjasdkf
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smileysuh · 5 months
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seeing double - TEASER
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🌙staring. Johnny & John x afab!Reader 
🔮 preview. “As much as I’d love to fuck two of you, I know you’ve always been interested in a threesome with two guys, and we both know I’m too protective to let anyone else touch you. I found this cloning spell and I figured, if there’s one man I can share you with, it’s myself.” 
tw/cw. Threesome, unprotected sex, oral, blow jobs, pussy eating, praise, dirty talk, degradation, y/n calls Johnny daddy twice, John calls y/n whore/slut/bitch once each cuz he's an ass, demonic double John is a bit of a dick, anal fingering, deep throating, spit-roasting/Eiffel tower, double penetration (pussy/mouth), triple penetration (pussy/mouth/finger in ass), spanking, choking, biting, punishment, blindfold/sensory deprivation, big dick Johnny, pussy stretching, John cums on her face, etc… I pet names: (hers) baby.
👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 6.9k
🍭 aus. Warlock Johnny, established relationship, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. ya'll thought one Johnny was enough for us, but I give you double John- threesome of the year
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The lights flicker out, the room going dark aside from the one black candle burning on the altar.
Then, just as suddenly, the lights turn back on, and your gaze shifts to the switch by the door. Your breath catches as you take in the man standing there, one hand lazily touching the switch. Johnny’s double has appeared, and he’s the one who just turned the lights back on.
“Hi, losers.”
While the new Johnny clone is wearing the same white shirt and black jeans combo your boyfriend has on, this Johnny has dark hair. You’ve always loved your boyfriend’s coloured strands, but there’s something so regal about the dark brown- it sets off the sharp angles of his face, and leaves you breathless.
“Who are you calling losers?” Johnny retorts, closing the Grimiore and turning to face the double at the door.
“I’m calling you two losers,” the clone grins. “You’re a loser for wanting a threesome with yourself, and she’s a loser for agreeing to it.”
“You’re a bit of a dick, aren’t you?” your boyfriend laughs.
“Not any more than you. I’m your double, anything I say or do is something you would say or do, well, it would be if you let your demonic side out more often. You’re so good at keeping that part of you under lock and key, but not tonight. Here I am.” The double pushes off from the wall, approaching your boyfriend. “Don’t be mad if you don’t like what you see.” 
“I’m not mad about what I see,” Johnny says thoughtfully, “I’m just wondering why your hair is so dark. Thought you were supposed to be a clone.”
“My hair is like your demon side, you can try to cover it up, make it lighter, but this spell always knows your true self. Besides, baby thinks I look good with this hair colour,” the clone’s gaze shifts to you, and he flashes you that classic Johnny grin, “isn’t that right, baby?”
“I-” your words get choked in your throat, and you swallow thickly, looking between your boyfriend and his darker double. “Johnny-”
“Another charade to appear nicer,” the clone clicks his tongue. “Your blonde, soft looking boyfriend might go by the name Johnny. But tonight, you’ll call me John.”
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👹 or wait till the fic is posted on tumblr November 17th, 2023
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there's a limit to the number of people I can tag, respond/reblog to ensure a tag please :)
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agendabymooner · 8 months
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ride home ! carlos s. x ofc (filipino!content creator!ofc)
“and my weary heart has come to rest in yours.”
summary: carlos sainz accidentally outed himself as a married man and his wife is filipino, which is quite ironic if you would look at the history between the two nations. OR mona magdalena was something of a surprise to the f1 world as she’s something of an… ordinary person. but the ferrari driver’s in love with her and that’s enough for anyone to understand.
content warning: established relationship, use of explicit language, unclear plot (intro to carlos sainz’ ofc wife), fluff, lando = knowing something you don’t, poorly translated comments, mentions cheating (no one did), connected to the alessandro/hearth universe (see masterlist)
note: there will be a translation to some of the words in this post (context: spain colonized philippines for 300 years and language/culture/practices were adapted from spain.)
this is a self-indulgent fic. a little bit of it i think. this came from my halo-halo homies’ asks and i was inspired to write. i should write some fernando alonso soon, no? enjoy xx
masterlist
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liked by carlossainzjr, landonorris, zildbenitez
user1 CONGRATS MAMITAAAA
user2 welcome back to philippines magda!!
zildbenitez sex or chocolate? liked by monamagdalena
monamagdalena the city by the 1975
user3 i cant believe that you’re working a regular job in spain/england while you’re a whole ass celebrity in the philippines 😭 liked by monamagdalena
monamagdalena duality of a woman 😉
benandbenmusic gimmick sa’n? where should we hangout?
monamagdalena i want some inasal :)
benandbenmusic bet, meet u at the nearest mang inasal then 🫶
carlossainzjr y u so pretty cariño? liked by monamagdalena
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carlossainzjr posted a story !!!
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this story in unavailable
[translation: my wife should just quit her day job and come travel with me]
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[translation: there’s no one i would yearn for more than you, my lovely lady.]
tagged monamagdalena
liked by charles_leclerc, blastersilonga, landonorris
user1 ok but why doesn’t she give wag vibes? did she ever attend any of his race?
user2 she doesn’t seem to be like his type tbh. why does she have a huge fanbase?
user3 bestie they’re married- what more can they do?
user4 she’s hella gorgeous
user5 i didn’t even know who carlos was until now :’] magda really chose the perfect one 😭
user6 welcome to the pits of hell we call f1. ferrari’s at the deepest depth - carlos drives for ferrari
user7 y’all btches blind if you don’t see the heart eyes carlos is giving her
user8 he’s so in love i wish that were me
landonorris ok but i’m rooting for you two though 🥲 liked by carlossainzjr and monamagdalena
monamagdalena thanks, lando! i’m also rooting for us :)
monamagdalena you’re the best partner to have existed. mahal kita sobraaaaaa ❤️ i love you soooo much liked by carlossainzjr
carlossainzjr see you soon cariño ❤️
user8 she really said “colonizing his heart” 😭
user9 who cooks better though?
carlossainzjr her because she grew up with a single mother only and they always make the best cuisines - lena taught me how to cook most filipino dishes
monamagdalena most filipino dishes that NEED to be paired with rice 🥲 i get so lonely having to eat rice by myself at times
landonorris you should have me over so we can eat rice together
monamagdalena you betcha. i’ll be making you dinner like it’s a filipino birthday party lando!
user10 now THAT is the dream 😩 imagine being so sweet that you’d make your husband’s mate some roast pans full of filipino food and pull up the karaoke ughhh so mother of u
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bonus !!!
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translation
mahal / irog = terms of endearment, “love”
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spacedace · 1 year
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Sorta sequel of this post (where Bruce is happy that Damian has totally and completely normal human friends). You don't have to read that one to get this one tho lol.
Slight Trigger Warning: minor description of injuries and blood, including injuries to ears and scalp. It's quick and not much detail on the injuries themselves, but I wanted to give a heads up.
Tim always thought his friend group was the most unhinged in the family.
Not anymore.
His friends at least had enough of a sense of self preservation to book it when Bruce caught them doing something they shouldn't and leveled them with A Look.
Tim's pretty sure Damian's friends call god a bitch to his face everyday and give him a wedgie in a Denny's parking at least twice a week. He's positive he saw them roast one of the League's S tier world ending threats to the point of tears last weekend. The footage was too badly corrupted to prove it, but he knows what he saw.
All of which to say, he's shouldn't be surprised when Bruce levels little Elle Nightingale and her cousin Billy Batson with his patented "You Are In So Much Trouble" BatDad Face (TM) and the little hellions just grin back at him, entirely unaffected. Shouldn't be but still is because holy fuck even Jason will still back off when Bruce levels him with that look. And these kids had the gaul to ask Bruce if they could go get ice cream after they were done here.
Bruce blinks first. It feels like an omen for the ends times.
Tim can't blame him though, you can’t look into the heart of insanity and chaos like that for too long without risking losing something in the process. Steph was right, they really are nightmare demons sent to feed on their fear and uncertainty.
Billy swipes a smear of blood away from his busted nose with the sleeve of his torn and dirty shirt. Elle's teeth are pink and red from blood - Tim isn't sure if it's better or worse that it's not her blood. Jon was bouncing between fussing over Damian - who Superboy had been mostly able to keep from joining the fight and thus probably saved a couple of lives - and casting worried looks at his two bloody friends as they stood lined up in front of Bruce. At least one of them had enough sense to be wary of that look.
Tim would say that Jon was the well behaved one of the bunch - and worryingly enough he might be - but he'd heard him yelling give em the chair at one of the two scrappers as he and Bruce came running over so he knows it's only the fact that a punch from even a baby Kryptonian would have killed a person that kept the littest Kent out of the fight rather than any idea that the fight itself was wrong. All four children look ruthlessly proud of each other.
The ones the hellions were fighting - a couple of guys Tim's age who had been stupid enough to try and bully Damian at all, let alone in front of his pack of feral raccoons - looked like they'd gone several rounds with Killer Croc before being thrown around by Bane and run over by a car. They deserved it- assholes - but they still looked rough.
One was bleeding from several bite wounds Elle had inflicted on him, earlobes a mess from where the little girl had torn his earrings out, both eyes blackened and swollen to the point he couldn't open them anymore. The other had a large red and bleeding bald spot from where Billy had ripped a good chunk of hair out, nose completely shattered- likely in retaliation for what had been done to Billy's - and elbow hanging at an odd angle. Tim's not sure which one of them had the chair - thankfully one of those fabric folding ones and not something more solid - broken over them, or which hellspawn had taken Jon's suggestion to heart, but either way he could see the twisted up remains of the item in question laying not too far away.
At least the EMTs were ushering the two weeping teens away into ambulances so they could get taken care of. Tim's pretty sure Elle and Billie would try and get a few more hits in otherwise and knowing them he doesn't doubt that at least one of the cops that had shown up on the scene would end up losing a finger or two in the process. Which normally Tim would be fine with - he has files on all of these guys and they deserve way worse than what a couple twelve year olds could do to them - but in this case he's already having a hard time convincing the officers that it's just a matter of some kids defending one of their friends from a couple of bullies.
Ugh. Some people just didn't understand children and it really showed. It was a public park, kids were gonna be kids. Just a normal childhood scrap. The real problem were the highschoolers who tried to start shit with a group of little kids.
Sure the hellions were feral and unhinged enough to be unbothered by Bruce trying to chide them about starting fights instead of getting an adult to help, but at the end of the day playground scuffles will happen and the kids were just defending themselves. Cops should be thankful that BL wasn't able to join them for the day or someone would have ended up shoved into a cooler or something.
Eh, whatever. He got them to drop the assault charges - which were ridiculous, Elle & Billie were normal twelve year olds getting into a fight, it wasn't like it was Damian with all his training and skills - and Bruce had given up on trying to be disapproving of them not reporting the attempted bullying to him instead of handling it themselves. Probably because at the end of the day he was a little proud of the little shits for defending Damian and standing up against some bullies. And really Tim was too. They might be vicious little hellspawns sent there to torment them all, but they were good kids at the end of the day and they cared about Damian enough to throw down with guys twice their size.
Tim pulled up a list of the nearest ice cream places on his phone, Bruce was totally going to cave on that front and even if he didn't Tim was willing to use his executive Big Brother privileges to get them ice cream anyway. He isn’t going to need to though. Jon had thrown his puppy dog eyes into the mix on that front and Tim knows from experience how much a kryptonian looking hopeful could get away with when it came to this family. Hell, Kon had probably taught his little brother that face for these exact kinds of situations because of how effective it was.
"I'm still going to have to tell Jazz about this." Bruce said as they shuffled off towards the restrooms to try and get everyone cleaned up, a parting shot to make up for his failure to cow them earlier.
"Please don't tell her! She’s gonna make us read articles about conflict resolution again!"
"B come on that's no fair! You said we did good not letting those assholes get away with their bullying shit!"
"Language!"
Huh, Tim thought with a grin. Maybe the little demons weren't as terrifyingly unstoppable as he thought.
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love-toxin · 1 year
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Yandere fruity four have a whole thing where they cannot see you bleed, not after what happened in the upside down. So when you fall over playing tag with Robin and Eddie outside and get a smallish cut on your leg, all four of them go crazy. They baby you to death and back
* rubs my little rat hands together *
cws: yandere fruity four, blood, minor/major injuries, scars, !!PTSD!!, angelface has aquaphobia, mental illness, trauma flashbacks, panic attacks, choking, drowning, near-death experiences, very mild emetophobia, mild self-deprecation, post-s4, gn!reader.
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One of the first days that you wake up and feel that things are back to normal is in June of 1987. The sun is coming out properly now and brightens the yard with soft, summer rays, the grass is growing in enough to start being trimmed, and it's far too warm to stay in bed for longer than an hour past your usual alarm. Indiana isn't too hot yet, so when you crack open the windows to get a breath of fresh air, you're greeted by a comfortably cool breeze that cuts the warmth radiating off the ground.
Much better than the cold and the snow that kept you inside, although that wasn't the only reason. The world beyond the Harrington's front yard is still a little too scary to breach--but you've got a good amount of space to work with, so long as you stay away from the pool and the woods around the back. It's been drained for a while now though, and Steve reassured you he has no plans to fill it back up.
That first day is a good day, it's refreshing. The next week skirts by with a stream of good things piling in; you all built up the firepit to roast marshmallows, Eddie bought a sprinkler at a garage sale, Nancy and Robin have started buying seasonal fruits and cutting them up to make little salads. There's not much you have to worry about with your new life, but there are obstacles--and you're happy to say you've overcome one when you're especially full of confidence one afternoon, and peek into the garage to ask if Eddie can bring the sprinkler out. Obviously he says yes, a smile on his face as he tugs his gloves off and rolls out from beneath the van, excitedly grabbing the hose and hooking it in so he can take it out and set it up on the front lawn.
You were planning just to run it and watch, maybe stick your hands or toes in to cool off, but Robin comes running down the stairs with a giddy grin and jumps right through it--and at her shriek of it being so cold, you and Eddie both join in to try it and end up running around on the wet grass, laughing and flicking water at each other like children. It's not terrifying like you thought it would be, and you don't immediately break down like you did the first few months of taking showers after the watergate incident. It's the first time in a long time you've been so carefree. It's been even longer since you've thought of a moment as a memory you want to keep forever, of Eddie grabbing you from behind and kissing your cheek under the cool spray, and of you and Robin holding hands and shrieking as he picks the sprinkler up and chases you with it. That feeling ends, though, when you slip on the grass and tumble to the ground with her in tow, a sharp twang of pain running up the side of your calf from nowhere.
"You guys okay?" Eddie calls out, dropping the sprinkler and walking over to where you're laid out on your back, Robin scrambling to sit up at your side like she hadn't also fallen victim to the slippery ground.
"Yeah, I'm good--just fell!" You manage a lighthearted giggle, because that pain you felt is already dull, and you're sure it was just a twig or something that scratched you.
"You're bleeding," But Robin's voice tremors, her dulled and painted nails hovering over your calf as you bend your knee to pull it up. Disbelief runs through you at first--but with a glance and a double take, you realize she's right. You've got a long, thin cut up the side of your leg, and although it's clearly too shallow to do much damage, it's deep enough for blood to pool at the surface of your skin and start trailing downwards in little rivulets. She's stiff right now, and her eyes say too much--they spell out danger, and your first instinct is to cup her cheek in your hand and try to talk her down.
"It's okay, Robbie--calm down, okay? Just breathe."
"You're bleeding...." It pains you even worse because you know exactly what she's thinking, you know the place she's at right now, and it's not gonna be pretty if she doesn't come back to earth and starts reliving all those horrible days you left behind.
"Robin, it's fine, sweetheart. It doesn't even hurt. It's not deep, you don't need to worry, I'm totally fine." She shakes her head--she can't tear her eyes away from the sight of your blood. "Remember what the doctor said? Worst thing you can do is panic? So don't panic, my love."
By the time she's struggling to keep her breaths even, Eddie's knelt down at your side to assess what he just heard. A warm, wet hand grazes your calf to take a look, and you can tell by the shuddered breath he inhales that he's trying really hard not to join Robin in freaking out.
"Let's...let's get you inside. Robin, go-"
"I-I'll get Nancy!" Her assumption is thankfully correct, and she tears off across the lawn to run up into the house, probably taking the stairs two at a time just to get to your girlfriend and boyfriend faster. Eddie sighs, and pulls your arm around his shoulders to help you up, barely letting you put any pressure on your injury as he leads you into the house. Past the front door, towards the kitchen, and helps you up to sit on the nearest chair that he pulls out for you.
"Eddie, I'm fine. Really," You gesture towards the cut--which really is more like a scrape--but you know better than to move your leg or try to get up. Sometimes, as much as you love them, your partners just won't see reason.
"I know. I know you're fine, but...but if you're not-"
"This isn't the same thing. This isn't Vecna." He shudders at the mere mention of the name, but it's the truth and you're not going to just let them flip out. To keep him from pacing, and because you hope it might help, you grab hold of his hand. Upstairs, you can hear animated chattering and then the scraping of chairs, like whoever it was that got up did so in an enormous hurry. "No clocks, no ticking, no visions. Just a cut."
Eddie nods in agreement, but you're not so easily persuaded. "Just a cut." He repeats, his other hand coming up to rub your head and carefully, sweetly stroke your hair.
"Baby!" The two of you both jump when Steve comes skidding into the room, having leapt nearly over the entire banister just to land with a thud and dash in. Nancy and Robin aren't far behind, equally as hurried as they come to crowd around you with panic-stricken looks on their faces. Steve drops to his knees at once to take a look at the cut, while Nancy peers over his head and thankfully breathes a deep sigh of relief when she sees how calm you are.
"Why are you soaked?" Are the first words that come out of her mouth, and only then does it click. Your chest tightens a little, and you feel a cloud hanging over your head, but it makes sense. It wasn't just the cut, or the blood--it's the fact that you're also drenched, your clothes clinging to your skin and your body wracked with a chill that pierces you through the bone.
That night on Lover's Lake was much the same. You'd never been much afraid of boating or swimming, but those circumstances were different--that was when you thought your alternating crushes on your friends were the most painful thing to deal with, back when you kept switching from one to another. From Eddie to Nancy to Steve to Robin and back again, wondering what the hell was wrong with you and why you were so whipped you'd join them on a dinghy in the middle of the night, just to check something out that they swore was something they could never fully explain. You just had to see it, and you'd been so determined to help them that you wouldn't be left behind.
But you did a lot more than seeing when you leaned over the side to look down at whatever 'gate' Steve had found as he clung to the edge of the boat, drenched and handsome as ever. Even though you struggled to piece your memories back together after the ordeal was over, you remember squinting your eyes at a shadow flitting under the water and praying it was just a fish. Nancy's voice had cut through the chatter to ask you what was wrong--and then your arm went under as a tendril burst out to hook around it, and Eddie's hand shot out to grab your hoodie, but you were gone before you could even scream. The boat had rocked from side to side and you heard muffled yelling, screaming of your name that you couldn't call back to. Steve's fingers had grazed your ankle in a flash to catch you as you were yanked through the murk, but even he could do nothing as you were thrust through watergate and thrown into another world, one you never would have believed in if you hadn't been forced to.
After that, you still have only bits and pieces you can recall of the ordeal. Flashes of blood and veiny wings spread out against a crimson sky are the worst, they're the visions you try to forget, especially since you associate them with some of the most biting, stinging agony you've ever felt in your life--at your hips, your legs, and your neck, all of which still bear prominent scars. Choking, you remember choking for so long, until you blinked and Steve was above you--his palms thrusting painfully into your chest, and your throat flooding with water and bile that you spat all over the ground. You remember stumbling through some overgrown forest, the flash of a bike light, cloth being pulled tight around your stomach, and being slumped over someone's back as you rode down semi-familiar streets, but that's the most you can bring to your memory. They've always told you it would be better not to try--that you don't want to remember all the horrors they encountered there. That you don't want to wake up. Wake up.
"Wake up!"
You manage to mumble out a single, incoherent word, before a chord splits through the muffled quiet of your mind and you clap your hands over your ears, bass thrumming so loud you feel like your brain's bouncing around inside your skull. It's not totally inaccurate though, because there's an ache in your neck and fingers painfully dug into your shoulders as whoever it is stops shaking you, yells for the music to be shut off, and then worriedly encourages you to open your eyes.
"Huh?" Still completely dazed, you hone in on two warm, sweet-looking brown eyes when your own blink open, before zoning back out and letting yours wander towards every angle of the room. Your head is almost lolling back, trying to get a glimpse of anything out of the ordinary--anything that would reveal that you're still in that other world, and only when you're reassured that everything's real do you look down at Steve's terrified expression. "What's...wrong? Steve?"
Even your voice feels discombobulated, you raise your hand to your neck to touch it, as if you could feel if something was wrong just by feeling it. But it drifts to his throat instead, and you run your thumb over the long scar that's still there--the one that matches yours. Steve doesn't utter a word, just stares up at you from his knees before finally managing to breathe again.
Robin and Nancy are standing over him, and you can see they're just as scared--but Eddie's gone, and before you can ask where he is, his sneakers squeal against the linoleum as he rushes back into the kitchen. In his hands, he's got a tape. The bright sticker on the side of it warns you that it's the one he carries with him everywhere, with nothing but your name written on the tracklist along with Steve's, Robin's, Nancy's, and his own.
"F..False alarm. False alarm." Nancy finally turns back and nods at him, just barely making it to one of the chairs at the table before she collapses into it in a fit of hiccups, like she's trying not to cry and just holding it all in. Robin hits the ground behind Steve and she buries her face in his back, hands clutching at his shirt while his trail down to grab each of yours. It's only in those moments that your senses really come back to you, and you feel an immense wave of guilt settle on your shoulders at what must have looked like a dire situation. You've had those flashbacks before where you've dissociated completely out of the realm of reality--but this must have been a long one, you can feel it, because your body's sore from being jostled so much and your leg is all wrapped up. You've got a towel draped around your neck. You've missed a decent chunk of time, but you're sure it felt like a lifetime for them.
"I'm sorry..." You whimper, hating their body language and their expressions and wishing you could just go back to when you were having fun--and wishing that you would just stop having these episodes already, for God's sakes.
"Don't!" Steve shakes his head, strands of perfect chestnut hair flicking to and fro as he does so. He tightens his grip and pulls your arms closer, a kiss placed on your knuckles in the hope of offering some reassurance. "Don't be sorry--you didn't do anything wrong. This was out of your control."
If Robin wasn't clinging to him, you can sense by his shoulders hunching towards you that he would be moving in for a hug--one of those warm, tight ones that crush you against his hard chest, but couldn't be a better place for you to cry into. You don't really feel the urge to, but surely once some time has passed the reality of what just happened will really hit you. The relative silence in the room is biting into you, and the shakiness of your own voice betrays that. "Are you okay?"
He nods at once, one hand finally moving away to pat Robin's thigh. "Yeah. Little shaky, but I'm okay. You okay, Rob?"
"I'm fine. Just...almost passed out." Robin's voice is muffled in Steve's shirt, but by the comparably calmer sigh that escapes her, you believe it. You turn your head to Nancy, sitting just across the table from you, and reach your newly-freed hand out to clasp over hers. The tight squeeze is enough to say more than she can get out at the moment.
"I'll be fine, soon. I need a minute." She rubs her temples, focusing on breathing in and out and nothing else. Eddie's who you're really afraid for, though, and he's just staring in cold silence from across the room. He only takes one step when you look his way and shoves the tape in his pocket, but after a pause, he takes plenty more to come right up to your side.
"God, I'm glad you're alive," He grabs both sides of your face, and tilts your head up to plant the sweetest, deepest kiss on your lips. He tastes of smoke and sweat, bitterly warm on your tongue as he shows you his affection--something you thought you'd never get when you were sure you had died. "Never letting you go again."
It sits there in the air. Never letting you go. You've heard it in movies and read it in books, although you thought that if you ever heard someone say that to you, it would be.....well, it wouldn't be like this. But it quirks a smile up on your lips at the thought that this is what you've got, this is the reward you've been given for following your heart straight into death. At least you can say you're nothing if not loyal, even though you sometimes feel like you're just....crazy. Like you belong in the nuthouse. They've tried to reassure you you're not, but there's always that inkling in the back of your head. The looks people in the town give you when you go out don't help, either--especially the ones that boldly declared you as one of Eddie's failed victims. That one was especially hard to overcome.
"I...okay. I'm gonna go bring the sprinkler in." Eddie's hands linger on your face, and he seems to evaluate something for a moment before giving in, and pressing another delightfully wet kiss to your mouth. Only after that can he break away, and get himself walking towards the front door--mumbling quietly all the while that he's gonna find whatever hurt his baby and make it pay. To think, this is the man people thought had tried to sacrifice you....how ludicrous.
"Yeah, um...S-Steve, c'mon." Nancy, finally managing to pull herself together, gestures towards him in a way they both seem to understand--and you let out a squeak when he gets to his feet, and slides his arms around your waist to haul you up in a bridal carry, while Robin uses him to pull herself up and messily dry the tears she was hiding.
"H-Hey, it's okay! I can walk-"
"Nope." Steve interjects, waiting for Nancy to take Robin gingerly by the arm and lead her towards the stairs, whispering low enough into her ear that you can't make out what she's saying. Your girlfriend seems to start perking up when she hears it though, so whatever reassurances she's offering, they must be pretty good. "While Sir Eddie is securing the yard, you're gonna be spending some time with us." He raises his brows, that smoldering wink shooting sparks of youthful giddiness into your belly. It's hard not to smile and give in when he's being coy--the flirt in him just always manages to capture your heart, even when he's carrying you up the stairs despite you being certain you can do these things on your own. "Nance still has to finish her article, so we'll just hang out with her til it's done, kay?"
As he reaches the top step, you hear the distinct clanging of something being thrown around in the area of the garage, Eddie's distant swearing filtering through the open windows all over the house before he slams the door shut. Knowing him, he probably got all caught up in the hose and tripped himself, the visual of which evoking a laugh from you that nearly startles Steve as he walks with you into the master bedroom. Nancy's got her desk in there with all of her papers, photos, and notebooks scattered all over the top, a lamp on a bendable frame aimed from above so she can arrange things as precisely as she likes. She's already eased Robin into the bed, a kiss pressed to her forehead that she leans right into--and when Steve comes around the other side and slowly sets you down beside her, she's quick to pull an arm around you and nuzzle herself right into your side to get nice and comfortable.
"It's not gonna take too long, okay?" Nancy glances over her shoulder to look at you after she takes her seat, the second chair by her side soon giving a squeak as Steve drops himself into it. "I just have to organize the spread so I can send it in. Then we'll do something fun, okay?"
Her content smile feels more hollow than usual--you can kinda tell when she's masking her feelings to make everyone else comfortable, versus when she's really showing her emotions. But that's to be expected after what she just went through, so you're not about to pry. Usually it's a lot harder for them to vent to you than it is to each other, because they've admitted themselves they're sensitive to putting too much stress on you, and the doctor himself had warned you to avoid straining yourself lest your heart give out on you. That's a big worry for them too....worrying about you.
Soon enough, though, Eddie comes hustling up the stairs and bursts into the bedroom, narrowly avoiding a frustrated jab when he almost sweeps a pile of scribbled notes off the table--but he looks happy, sweaty and happy, and kicks off his sneakers to climb into bed next to you with a bowl full of cut fruit in his hands. He sets it delicately in your lap, having haphazardly tossed handfuls of the little cubes into it out of the tupperware containers Nancy was keeping them in, and pops a chunk of pineapple in his mouth with an uncanny grin.
"Showed that branch who's boss," He declares proudly through a half-chewed mouthful of fruit, before nuzzling your cheek with his nose and stuffing some more into his gob. It's a convenient way to distract you from Robin's fidgeting, as well as Nancy and Steve's hushed conversation that he glosses over by blabbing on about his newest potential escapades that he's got ideas for regarding the next Hellfire campaign. The best thing to do for you after an episode is give you something positive to focus on, they've found, and Eddie's pretty good at finding things to talk about that just hook you right in and keep you attentive to him, and little else.
You're not delicate, after all, you're strong. But the world has proven to be quite unkind to you, and clearly you've had too much exposure to those things that remind you of that awful, awful day. So does it not make sense to keep you safe, and take all those potential dangers away? It's not like you'll be lonely, after all. You'll have them! And that's all you need--just them.
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Text
Round 4 (Semi-Finals) Group B
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Shinji Ikari vs Tadano Hitohito
Reasons for being generic + Propaganda below
Shinji Ikari
Reasons:
- Messy black hair - Whiny - Has a tsundere friend - "Friend" - Wears the most boring fucking clothing
Normcore king. He is just A Guy. He’s the first character I thought of when I saw your intro post. 
Most normal kid with depression and abandonment issues ever (and I say this very lovingly). His hair is brown and short with generic bangs, his eyes are brown. Literally just some guy (before the horrors (tm)) His default outfit is black shirt, white dressing shirt, black pants, white shoes (which is also his school uniform)
He just wants to go to high school, have weird feelings about girls, and brood about his relationship with his father. He does not want to get in the fucking robot
He’s a teenager with short black hair and a button up top and uniform pants. Given the iconic status of NGE, I wouldn’t be surprised if Shinji’s design served as a basis for every generic modern mecha/isekai series to come after.
Propaganda:
Your honor, he's so dislikable
He deserves a win after going through the horrors(tm). I know a lot of people don't like Shinji BECAUSE he's "too generic/depressed to be a main character" but if anything that should make him win. He's my blorbo ok? He was literally just some guy who one day got the fate of the world in his hands out of nowhere and when he reasonably is like "yo I'm like super depressed, this is only making me more mentally ill than I already was" everyone goes "ok, pussy much? Call the wambulance" and I think he deserved better. Also he's gay (or at the very least bisexual), so like diversity win. Let him win. Also if he wins we can all say "Congratulations, Shinji" like in the anime
One of the classic 90s anime everymen
Roasts of his design aside, Shinji is a genuinely great and fascinating protagonist. His struggles with depression, identity, self worth and hedgehogs dilemma are compelling to watch and, for a then socially anxious teenage me, were at times crushingly relatable. He’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but he still has a place in my heart.
Tadano Hitohito
Reasons:
Just a good bean. Like a kidney bean
his name is LITERALLY a play on the japanese equivalent of the phrase "just some guy". he is DESIGNED to be a generic-ass dude. everything about him is comically average.
Propaganda:
No propaganda submitted for this character
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everybodyshusband · 4 months
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@moony-ghoul’s post got me thinking about a farm au where the ghouls live in a big farmhouse in the countryside :3
they grow crops in the fields and have a herd of cows, a herd of sheep up in the nearby hill, horses in the stables and a big ol’ chicken coop. they make their living by selling their milk/butter/eggs to the nearby town and every day dew is up before the sunrise to milk the cows. he and mountain pass each other and share a quiet, sleepy conversation and a kiss when they pass each other on their way to their respective tasks (dew to the barn for the cows, and mountain to the stables to ready the horse and cart for his daily milk run)
aeon has a soft spot for the chickens so rain and cirrus are teaching him how to take proper care of them. he was entirely horrified when he first learnt that he needs to feed the chickens their own eggshells along with their regular pellets and kitchen scraps
aurora has a soft spot for the sheep. she’d stand up on the hill and watch them for hours if she could. she trained the sheep dog herself and everyone calls her “little bo peep” whenever they see her coming back down to the house. sunshine bought her a shepard’s staff as a joke but aurora LOVES it and refuses to visit her sheep without it
since aeon’s taken over the chickens, rain decided the farm needed bees and now he’s got a few hives going. they sit just outside the kitchen windows so whoever’s working in their can open the window and hear the gentle hum of the bees while they cook. cirrus helps rain harvest the honey when it needs it and they both take great pride in the labels they designed. they’re working hard to convince mountain to take some of their jars on his milk cart rounds to see if he can sell some in town
aether’s a horse girlie <3 he grooms them well and makes sure their coats are shiny and pretty and that they’re all healthy enough to be pulling the farm machinery in the fields
sunshine’s self-imposed daily talk is going around the farm making sure everything has water. that includes the animal’s water bowels/troughs and that the collection of houseplants, the vege garden and the fruit orchid. she has a collection of watering cans but her green one with flowers painted on it in her favourite
swiss works the dairy room. he takes the milk from dew in the mornings and keeps some as milk (making sure he’s run it through a milk separator before he bottles it), some he churns for butter and some he sets aside to turn into cream
cumulus loooooves the wheat field <3 if no one knows where she is, the first place they look is there. she finds it calming to stand in between the furrows and watch everything sway in the wind. she’s the one who drives the battered old truck down to the flour mill a few hours away and brings back bags filled with soft flour (she sells most of it, but keeps a few bags for the farm so they can use their own flour in their baking)
speaking of baking and cooking, they all share the responsibilities of the kitchen depending on who’s done what that day but they all have things that they’re the go-to to make it. cumulus and her breads are renowned throughout the land (no seriously, she’s had people come to the farm asking to buy her bread) and she gets so much joy from carving little designs into her sourdough loaves and seeing how they turn out once they’re baked. cirrus is the BEST at making omelettes and she has a special knack for knowing which eggs will have double yolks in them. rain is surprisingly good at barbecuing/grilling and cooks roasts fantastically well with the perfect seasoning and melt-in-the-mouth deliciousness. aether the king of baking will bake so many sweet treats and they’re all soooo tasty and addictive. he’s mastered almost everything but they got a new stand mixer for their kitchen and he has No Idea how to work it so he mixes everything by hand. luckily, aurora knows exactly how it works so sometimes she and aeth will tag-team in the kitchen to make things faster. they also love decorating things together and aurora is fantastic at plating their dinners up so elegantly. aeon can cook curries and rice and that’s IT but no one else can get the rice cooked quite as well as they can, so no one’s really complaining. dew and mountain are the best at cooking warm comfort meals and soups in the winter so if neither of them are busy and someone is in need of a little extra cheering up, they’ll make the person’s favourite comfort meal to keep their spirits up and remind them of how much they’re loved. swiss and pizzas OH MAN. he can do all the fancy spinning tricks with the pizza dough and they always come out of the pizza oven (he and aurora only finished building it a few weeks ago) perfectly cooked through. he loves preparing pizza nights for everyone where he’ll prepare the dough and toppings on the massive kitchen table and let everyone roll their own dough and choose their own toppings before he puts them all in the oven and calls everyone to their meal when it’s ready. sunshine is the queen of soups and salads. she can whip together a soup or a salad out of practically thin air and they’re always so tasty and pair perfectly with whatever else is being made for dinner that night
they all help out with everything (both in the kitchen and with tasks around the farm) especially when it’s time to harvest the fields and it’s all hands on deck to get everything done, but in my mind these are their main tasks/favourite things to do around their little country farm <3
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jadewritesficshere · 13 days
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The boy is mine (Jade's edition)
Eddie Munson x Reader
Summary: Eddie has a plan for a romantic night, but things go awry (2k words)
Contents: Anxiety, Eddie is self deprecating, hurt/comfort (kinda), no gendered terms for reader except mention that their hand is smaller then Eddie's and reader is called beautiful, a literal fire (please look up fire safety), fluff
A/N: So I saw this the first day it was posted and I thought it was a fun idea and saved the prompt by @carolmunson. I've been writing this for a bit,, but like I have had such bad mental fog and generalized pain recently I have been having a hard time focusing...I think I kind of misinterpreted the rules a bit...so here is sad lump of a contribution. Call me Stitch the way I am telling myself "it may be little and broken but still good".
18+ only
The night had started well, at least Eddie thought it had. He promised you a romantic night in. He even prepped for it.
Eddie rented sappy love movies, getting advice by Harrington and Buckley surprisingly. Harrington stated flowers were the way to go, but then started arguing with Buckley. While entertaining, Eddie learned more about the languages of romance from Buckley then he did about romantic gifts. But he wrote down to get flowers.
So he watched the movies. And Eddie was high paid a lot of attention and basically learned to make a grand speech. Big pour out your heart moment. Which, he felt he always talked your ear off, so he could totally do.
Eddie then read those magazines all the cheerleaders gossiped and giggled over. He didn't learn much except some tips for the best kiss. Cup the person's cheek and lean in slowly. Build the suspense. Eddie could do that.
Give you flowers. Make a speech. Cup your cheek as he kisses you. Eddie had this in the bag! Each point written in his little notebook.
And then the reality of you coming to his trailer hit him when you called to confirm the date was still on that morning. He hung up the phone after flirting a bit and looked around his house. Nerves flooded his system as he looked at it with the perspective of an outsider. He didn't want it to look bad. And it was, well, it wasn't bad but definitely could be cleaner.
So Eddie had vacuumed and dusted the entire trailer. Tossed empty pizza boxes in the trash. Sprayed some cologne around the trailer to cover the scent of weed, then cursed himself for using the expensive cologne when there was a bottle of air freshener in the bathroom.
Had picked up his clothes scattered across his room and shoved them all, clean and dirty, into the closet. Had made sure his bed had more then one pillow, grabbing spare throw pillows and tossing them towards the headboard. Even if he didn't think there was a chance you would enter his bedroom tonight, he wanted to be prepared.
Eddie had even started dinner before you arrived. An easy roast that Wayne had made hundreds of times. Thrown meat, potatoes, onions, and carrots into the pot, seasoned it and thrown it all in the oven.
It was newer, this thing between you, and he wanted to get it all right. You'd been friends for years, just recently evolved into dating. It was easy to hold your hand and throw an arm around your shoulder before, stealing those small intimate moments and pretending it meant something more. But now it does mean more. Truly, it always had, but neither of you had said anything. Because like usual, Eddie was the coward and ran.
He spent what felt like minutes (it had been hours) looking back at the notes, the plan. He had even sketched some pictures of you and him as he studied. Gave himself some sweet new tattoos and piercings and muscles while you had hearts around your head. By the time he stopped rereading the same points over and over again, he realized you would be there within the hour.
And he already failed the first point, flowers. It had completely spaced him what with the studying, but he had other things he had been wanting to give you so he figured he could wing it. He rehearsed everything in his mind, having various conversations with you. He would take your coat, be charming as ever, and you would fall for him even more then you already had.
But the plan immediately left his mind when you had arrived. Eddie could feel his face flush as his eyes trailed up and down your figure. All the rushing thoughts in his head suddenly stopped. All he could think was Damn, how'd I get so lucky?
"You're beautiful." Eddie mumbled in awe as you had shrugged off your coat. And then you smiled and Eddie realized he had messed up the plan. He thought he had went through every variable but he hadn't. It wasn't you that was going to fall more in love with him tonight, but Eddie was going to fall more in love with you.
Eddie twirled a piece of hair around his finger, unable to meet your eyes. His heart was beating wildly in his chest and his palms were begin to sweat. He couldn't help but shift from foot to foot. "Oh I uh....got you something," Eddie smiled and turned to leave before hesitating and motioning to the couch," You can uh sit...or stand, standing is good too! I'll be right back."
Eddie cursed himself the whole time he walked away because of how stupid he was. He could stage elaborate campaigns but couldn't seem to form a single sentence in your presence. Eddie grabbed the gift off his dresser and inhaled slowly, mentally yelling at himself to be cool for once in his life.
And faltered in his steps.
Because you were sat on the couch. Not just on the edge of the cushion like those who he dealt to who couldn't wait to get out of his presence. No, you were fully relaxed into the cushion. You looked comfortable. You looked like you belonged.
And Eddie couldn't squash the butterflies that took flight in his stomach. And he sat on the cushion next to you, fighting the urge to wrap you in his arms and hold you close.
"I got you this," Eddie declared as he handed you a rock. A small, smooth stone that fit in the palm of your hand. Your mouth parted but no words came out. Eddie bit his lip as you slowly turned the stone over in your hands, staring at it.
"I saw it and I thought, well, I thought of you and it matches your eyes and-" Eddie huffed out a laugh and shook his head," Sorry, it's stupid just give it back."
Eddie moved to grab it out of your hand but you slapped at his arm and clenched the stone in your hand. "No, it's mine!" You held your hand to your chest and glared at him. "It's stupid," Eddie looked down. "It is not." "It is!"
"Are you serious? If you don't stop we're gonna have a problem. This is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me." You beamed at him. Joy and adoration written clearly across your face. Eddie slowly grinned back as you dared to open your palm and look at the stone again. "My precious," you wiggled your eyebrows at him, making him bark out a laugh as he relaxed.
"Let's save a ring for a later date." He joked, even as his mind raced. You quoted Lord of the Rings! You were sitting on his couch holding a rock he thought was the same shade as your eyes and you liked it!! He was done for. Completely head over heels fallen for you. Said he would never marry yet here he was planning his vows and everything.
"Seriously, Eddie, this is so sweet." Your hand grasped his. Your hand was smaller then his, fitting perfectly. Fingers interlocked hesitantly and then more surely. Eddie's eyes fell to your lips. Your tongue darted out slightly and wet them. And he started to lean in.
The air was thick, and not just with the tension, the anticipation. Your lips were milliseconds to coming in contact with his when Eddie's nose twitched as he caught a familiar scent. Your lips landed on Eddie's cheek as he turned so quickly to face the kitchen he gave himself whiplash.
Thick smoke started to waft out of the room. "Oh fuck!" He jumped up as the smoke detector finally started doing its job and screeched out an annoying beep. Eddie ran into the kitchen with you hot on his heels.
Eddie opened the oven door, smoke billowing out," SHITshitshit-" Eddie cursed as he slammed the door shut, coughing slightly. Your hand reached past him to shut off the oven before darting over to the window and throwing it open.
Eddie's eyes darted to the sink below the window. Stop, drop, and roll- wait no that was if you were on fire. But water beats fire in almost every scenario, right? Except oil, shit did he add oil? No, he didn't add anything except the food and the seasoning so it should all be good right?
"Stand back!" Eddie yells over the screeching alarm. Grabbing the pot holders, he throws the oven door open. Smoke billows past him as he makes a mad dash for the pot, grasping the handles and throwing it in the sink. He throws the faucet on, water pouring over the burnt food and pot.
Steam billows up with smoke, mingling in the air before flowing out the window. A hissing sound from the cool water hitting the hot pot fills the air. You fan the flames towards the open window. "Oh fuck." You cough as your eyes fill with tears from the smoke. Eddie winces as flurried apologies fall from his lips.
The pot, not on fire at least, starts to lessen up on producing smoke. Eddie deems it safe to leave and grabs your hand, dragging you outside. His hands on your shoulders guide you to sit on the steps as you continue to intermittently cough. Eddie rushes back into the kitchen, double checking that the oven was off, and quickly grabs a mug holding it under the still running faucet.
Eddie rushes back outside to you, almost missing the step and face planting. And wouldn't that have been the icing on the cake. Would that make Eddie or the embarrassment of faceplanting be the vanilla frosting? Who even created that saying? Cake was good and this was not good. Eddie shook his head of these thoughts as he sank down on the step next to you.
Eddie hands you the mug of water. You drink it in big gulps, a small dribble of water falling out of the side of your mouth towards your chin. Eddie wipes it away with his thumb as he apologizes," I am so sorry, I don't even know what happened."
"Is this Garfield?" You peer at the mug, as if Eddie almost didn't kill you. "Uh yeah, was in a rush, sorry I didn't grab like a nicer cup. I just ran out...to you..." "Don't apologize, I like Garfield," you mumble taking another drink of the water.
"Are you okay?" Eddie asks, hands running up and down your shoulders, eyes checking you over. "Think I hacked up a lung from all the smoke...," you rub your sternum," Man, my lungs do not like smoke...and you like that?" Eddie let out a nervous laugh," Yeah no sorry, only when its weed. Never really inhaled a straight fire before."
You look up into Eddie's eyes that are full of concern. "Well, I'd recommend like not doing that. But I'm okay, it startled me more then anything," You give a soft smile. "You sure?" "Positive." You knock his shoulder with yours.
Eddie's eyes search your figure, ensuring you aren't lying to him. You ignore him, opting to set the mug down on the ground. Fingers brushing against a dandelion, yellow and bright. You pluck it from the ground and twirl it between your fingers.
You're okay. You're holding a dandelion and you're okay. You aren't acting like you hate him. You aren't making excuses and leaving. You aren't leaving like everyone else-
Eddie's shoulders relax as the tension leaves his body. You're okay. Your relationship is okay. He didn't ruin everything. You're smiling at a fucking dandelion while his heart feels like it has run a marathon.
You're oblivious to his plight as you lean over and tuck the dandelion behind his ear," Maybe don't smoke that. Looks pretty on you." "Not that kind of weed." "Yeah dumb joke sorry."
A slow exhale escapes him as he shakes his head,"No it's good I'm just," Eddie waves his hand in front of him," like what the fuck just happened? I am never cooking again. I'll just take you to Enzo's. I fucked up. Sorry for ruining the date."
Your hand cupped his cheek as you ducked down to meet his eyes," Hey, no. You didn't ruin the date." Eddie rolls his eyes slightly," Almost killing you? Yeah, pretty sure i ruined it." You bump your knee against Eddie's, "it's not ruined and you didn't almost kill me. Small food fire, happens to everyone. I lit popcorn on fire once. Besides, if you did happen to kill me, at least I would have died happy and in love. And you'd be stuck with me cause ghost me is absolutely haunting you."
Eddie can't help but laugh slightly," Oh? You think you'd be a ghost and not get another chance at life? Be reincarnated or whatever?" "Well, even if I was reincarnated, I'd find you again."
Eddie scoffs, "C'mon, don't say that.. That's not even true, you'd totally be able to move on. You wouldn't need little old me." You grab his face and peer into his eyes," Eddie Munson, I will always need you. In this life and whatever happens after. You and me? We're it. Maybe it should be too soon to say, but I feel it in my bones. You're it for me Eddie. Together now, forever, and when everything ceases to exist we'll be in nothing together. I will always be with you because I will always love you."
You lean in and Eddie thinks his heart stops. Your hand holding his cheek in place, thumb lightly brushing back and forth. His eyes flutter shut as your lips finally touch his. It was soft and sweet, lips slowly parting and melding together in a dance that sent shivers down Eddie's spine. He sighed into the kiss as you leaned closer into each other. Your hands threading through his hair, his wrapping around your waist. Lips moving in tandem, tongues darting out tentatively.
You only part when you both are gasping for air. Soft smiles and longing glances shared as the sun sets. "I love you too." Eddie traces your cheekbone with his finger. "You better." You joke. Your combined giggles fill the air as you continue to steal kisses from each other.
The night may not have been the most romantic. Or gone to plan, like, at all. But it was one Eddie already knew that when he thought about he would be able to feel his heart swell with love. And as he kissed you Eddie thought, yeah you were it for him.
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rabbitenn · 4 months
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Nagi, Tenn, Mitsuki and Yuki with an s/o who's feisty and quick to want to fight other people (especially when someone disses their boyfriend)?
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SHINGEKI.
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Shingeki. Jp. Advance/attack on the enemy.
ft. Rokuya Nagi, Kujo Tenn, Izumi Mitsuki, Yuki x gn! reader.
cw/genre: fluff mostly, some crack. Use of the word “girlboss” meant in a gender neutral way.
hello, nonnie ! I hope you like this <3 I’m sorry it took me so long to post it.
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♡ ROKUYA NAGI
— Honestly, Nagi is your biggest hypeman.
— Obviously he wants to protect you when a fight arises (it is clear he knows more than just a little self defense. Besides, what kind of prince doesn’t gallantly defend his lover?)
— But, alas, you’re quicker than him to jump into action.
— Ice so cold it burns in flames of blue settles on your gaze the moment someone pisses you off.
— Fists out, you have no reservations about grabbing them by the collar of their shirt, your grip knuckle white, teeth clenched.
— The same excitement Nagi feels while watching anime palpable is in his wide eyed stare now as his gaze follows your moves.
— Nevertheless, he is ready to separate you from the offender.
— One, to keep you safe and unharmed in case they happen to resort to violence too. Nagi’s priority will always be your wellbeing and safety (plus, he definitely more than knows how to throw a punch).
— And second, because if you’re the first to swing your fists, you’re likely to get in trouble.
— As bubbly and carefree as the princely idol may seem, he is a smart guy and knows nothing good will come out of you picking a fight.
— But oh, if someone dares to trash-talk your boyfriend.
— Then you have already told them off, as you advance towards them ready to throw hands.
— If worse comes to worst and the other person dares to put a hand on you, though, Nagi is mad.
— Like a sub zero breeze, apparently calm. But eventual death follows the freeze.
— “Let go of my partner, please.” Your boyfriend utters, tone steely, akin to the edge of a royal longsword. His fingers close around the wrongdoer’s arm with vice-like strength.
— Because as cool as you are when you put disrespectful people in their place, and as much as Nagi would enjoy an action anime with you as the main character, he’d never forgive himself if you ever got hurt.
♡ KUJO TENN
— I mean, it’s not like Tenn can’t effortlessly roast whoever displeases him.
— We see his sassy, “or your devil” side in several occasions (remember the elevator scene? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about).
— But when it is from your lips that venomous words come out, well, he thinks it’s kind of hot.
— And honestly, someone save whoever decides to bother you two, because you and Tenn together can be pretty scary when combined.
— Your vitriol comes out especially after Tsukumo spread rumors about TRIGGER. Whoever dares to speak an ill word towards your boyfriend is screwed.
— Your gaze turns tempestuous, much like the skies were on that night when TRIGGER had to sing beneath bitter rainfall.
— You don’t need to bother much with getting physical, oh, no. The drop in your voicetone, the death dancing in your stare, and the way you advance towards whoever had the audacity to criticize your beloved Tenn, are enough to send them packing.
— Needless to say, you couldn’t care less if they call you a weirdo or scary. In fact, your smile is sharp, snake-like, in the face of their insults.
— There’s a part of Tenn, whoever, that inevitably beats himself up over you defending him like this.
— You are his precious lover, and he’s supposed to keep you safe, to make you happy; not to drag you into the rumors and evil eye of the masses.
— So, in that aspect, I think perhaps you would have to comfort him a little.
— With your hands cupping his face, you ask your angelic idol to look at you.
— With uncertainty, he does; pools of a melancholy trapped in infinite sunrises lock with your eyes, akin to the pink hues of a winter morning that’s yet to dawn.
— You give him a tender smile, thumbs running over his porcelain skin.
— The fleeting kiss you plant on his lips lets him know there’s no other place you’d rather be than by his side; and you’d fight to the death to protect him. No matter what.
♡ IZUMI MITSUKI
— He’s another one that may feel guilty it is you who jumps in for him instead of him fighting for you (we’re talking about the guy who took on some thugs picking on IDOLiSH7 and got injured himself in the process).
— It should be him punching that disrespectful person the moment they lay hands on you. Not you, throwing them over your shoulder and whispering into their ear that if they want to keep their face a color different from bruised, they should stay far away from Mitsuki and i7.
— That aside, though, Mitsuki thinks your rather feisty temperament is very cool.
— You’re such a girlboss for putting anyone in their place when they’re just causing trouble.
— However, because he’s gotten hurt himself defending those he cares about, Mitsuki’s heart breaks a little when he sees your knuckles getting bruised.
— Carefully but with enough force to stop you, your boyfriend takes ahold of your wrist, effectively stopping you from further admonishing the offender by force.
— “Get lost.” He spats to the individual in question, his usually sunshine-like expression hardening in a frown.
— And sure enough, they run for their life.
— Meanwhile, Mitsuki’s hands gently take yours, his fingers carefully running over your swelling knuckles.
— He looks at you with a sad smile, a sigh escaping his lips before bringing your hands to them, brushing a feathered kiss over them.
— “I’m fine, Mitsu.” You assure him, trying to hide the way you flinch at the contact.
— He’s not having it.
— You can be sure once you get back to the dorms/to your home, your lover will be disinfecting any possible cuts and bandaging them for you.
— If he’s in a fiery mood himself, however, then you two can be quite a force to be reckoned with.
— Because neither one of you is the type to back down when it comes to fighting for what you think is right.
— And because this time, you’ll have each other’s backs to prevent either of you getting hurt.
♡ YUKI
— It’s the way to fluster him, to be frank.
— Really, as much as he isn’t exactly fond of you diving headfirst into trouble with his metal bat in hand, Yuki can’t help the intense blush that spreads through his cheeks as you intimidate those who bother you, and especially those who pose a threat towards him.
— Re:vale’s songwriter can be pretty intimidating himself without having to try much. And yet, something about you being the one with a devious grin on your face and lightning in your eyes is oddly distracting… hypnotizing even.
— And honestly? If you are there to defend Yuki’s honor, you have Momo as your partner in crime.
— While it is true he promised his groupmate he wouldn’t do anything reckless for his sake again, that doesn’t mean he can’t hype you up (and stand close by in case something serious were to happen).
— If you decide on a more witty approach, then it is a similar case as with Tenn: your presence alone is pretty daunting already.
— In these instances, you need to do very little to get whoever was dissing your lover to fall silent.
— You just have to take a couple steps forward, palming your baseball bat, and they’ll be stumbling away as you and Yuki watch, amused.
— However, in a similar way to what he made Momo promise, your boyfriend will try to get you to act less recklessly.
— Yuki could never forgive himself if something were to ever happen to you, just because you got into a brawl for his sake.
— He won’t hesitate to hide his metal bat, even confiscating it from you, while he steals a kiss in the process.
— Now it is you whose face heats up at his charms.
— So, be careful and ponder things a little more before acting, please :( For Yuki’s sake, he worries a lot about you (and loves you a lot).
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cyber-phobia · 1 year
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People are really out here judging me, an afo simp, for thirsting after an ugly man. Guys that isn't the point. It isn't about his flat ass or his just-some-guy lookin, pasty-ass, drives a kia to go visit the kids after losing custody in the lamest divorce battle of the century, probably thinks he's Patrick Bateman, hasn't moisturized in seven years, definitely a part time accountant but not, like, a good one face!!!
What captivates me is his narcissism! His failure to self evaluate! The fact that he vents his fear of genuine emotional vulnerability by completely distancing himself from anything even marginally resembling a feeling! The fact that he had what he presumed were extremely troubling guilt nightmares for an entire century and just ignored them because he didn't want to face the reality that he might regret even one of his "perfectly premeditated" actions! The fact that he's so afraid of failure that he constructs intricate plans around each and every breath he takes so that he never has to face what he perceives as mediocrity! His need to feel apart from the crowd stemming from what I have to assume is deep rooted childhood loneliness and outcast syndrome! His irreparably malformed prefrontal cortex! His dumbfuck, embarrassing, kindergarten-ass obsession with what are presumably the world's lamest comics! His shallow and completely inaccurate worldview! His tendency to drag others down with him to justify his deplorable lifestyle! The fact that he only wears one suit and doesn't even know how to fucking tie a tie! His absurd and completely unwarranted arrogance! The fact that he was willing to show up butt naked on live television and saw absolutely nothing wrong with flashing, like, an entire crowd of guys who specifically showed up to kill him! The fact that he can unironically call himself the "Demon King" without breaking character! The fact that he has no friends and Mob from Mob Psycho 100 could destroy him mentally with one sentence! The fact that if any of the class 1A kids behaved like American Gen Z high schoolers he would've already been roasted so fucking much that he'd be lying in a dumpster crying!
He is pathetic and weird! He is literally the lamest man alive! He is so fucking sad it makes me laugh! THIS is why he's hot! It's not cause he's ugly or whatever, it's because he has unfixable mental issues and regularly engages in actively self destructive behavior and makes all of his problems everyone else's, and most of all because I fully believe I could make him worse!
Anyway yeah Cyber my most beautiful and beloved dilf pls publish this bc I'm trying to vague post ab Gentry here and they need to see it ily sm thank you <333
Why vague post when I can tag them!!
@gentrychild come sit down for the monologue
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Text
The Gym Membership - Part 29 (Crosshair)
Summary: Crosshair finds a little peace
A/N: Hello Lovelies,
Sorry for not posting yesterday, I wasn't feeling all the greatest, but I'm fine now. So enjoy!
You'll understand the GIF after you read the story.
WARNING FOR FLASHING LIGHTS - GIF
Love oo
Warnings: Threatening, irritating, coffee, teenagers (aka Youths!), someone woke up and chose death. If I miss any warnings, please let me know.
AO3 Link   |   Words: 1,199   |   PREVIOUS - -> NEXT
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Cross’ irritation arose once again upon hearing the false cheeriness, just when he’d gotten his mood back to normal, it was quickly dipping back to being unbearable. He kept his jaw clenched as he glared into the teenagers face, “Coffee. Dark Roast. Black”
“Oo-kay…” the child answered, nervousness creeping in as his finger shook a little while he put in the order. “Um… sorry, sir the … um … the size?”
Seeing the kid tremble brought a little smirk to Crosshair’s face, it wasn’t fair but hey life’s not fair. Better this kid learned it now. He was scared and self-conscious, simply because the man in front of him was having an irritating day, somehow that brought a glimmer of joy to Crosshair. 
He took a deep breath and looked around the counter, “What’s the biggest size you have?”
“Oh well!” The teenager’s cheerfulness came back, his fear vanishing in that second, which simply irked Cross. “We have the vast, enormous, or if you are a real caffeine addict we have the colossal. So it really depends on how much caffeine you would need for today. Not to mention we do have about three different blends we are offering today. There’s Alderaan dark roast, Coruscant speed and our house blend. Now …”
The kid stopped in his tracks as Cross raised his hand, his brows furrowing to a point, his silent way of telling the kid to shut up, “I’m sure this is the absolute highlight of your day. Probably your year, I’ve no doubt that you are thrilled to be out of your house away from your computer, and actually interacting with live people. However, all I want to hear from you are the sizes. Any more than three words, and I can become very unpleasant. Now, I’ll have the large Alderaan dark roast, black. Is that understood?”
“Uh … yes … yes, sir.” His finger trembled as he put in the order, waiting for an eternity for the total to appear, “That’ll be a total of seven dollars and thirty-four cents, sir.”
Cross dropped a twenty on the counter, “Keep the change” after all he was a bit of a prick to the kid, the least he could do was give him a really good tip. 
“Oh … uh … t-thank you, sir”
He simply nodded and moved to the other end of the counter waiting for his coffee. He glanced around watching the couples sitting together as they cooed over each other. The students who had their noses buried in a book, letting life pass them by. He even saw a table where a Marine sat waiting for his ride, it looked like. Somehow, all this cheeriness was irritating him even further. He closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath. 
It wasn’t long before his coffee was ready, he dropped in about six sugar packets, as he heard a rather loud and annoying voice order above the crowd.  
“I’ll have the Mocha Coruscant Speed Frappuccino with extra whipped cream a sprinkling of cinnamon and nutmeg with a soupçon of chocolate drizzle, and a slice of pecan pie” 
All Cross could think at that moment was how much he missed his gun right now. Whoever that was, had to be the most pretentious and annoying person ever. Did they really have to use such a fancy word? Couldn’t they just call it what it was, a small amount. Ugh. That order alone just made him even more irritated, he was glad to be leaving this stupid cafe. He had no clue what exactly made him even think about going into this hipster, kids pretending to be adults, type of cafe. 
He grabbed a to-go lid to cover his cup, wondering why in the world did he have to pay seven dollars for a simple black cup of coffee. He glanced around to see a few people pick up their cups and take a moment to smell the coffee before actually taking a sip. He couldn’t understand what the fuss was about, coffee was coffee. It was just something to keep the day moving along.  
His hand hovered with the lid over the top of the cup, wondering if maybe he should see what the fuss was about before covering it and heading off for his day. He tried to brush away the curiosity he was feeling, only to be surprised to see his hand act on its own as it brought the cup closer to his nose. ‘Well, since it’s there,’ he justified as he leaned forward ever so hesitantly. He looked like a man who was afraid his cup was going to jump out and bite him. He felt incredibly ridiculous and annoyed at his own actions, but it didn’t prevent him from taking a whiff of the freshly brewed aroma.
The hint of chocolate, the deep rich aroma of the coffee bean, followed by a subtle scent of cinnamon, filled his nostrils, the beans were strong but not overpowering. The irritation he had been feeling all day was starting to ease with just that one whiff, he wasn’t sure why, but he felt attached to the cup of pure satisfaction. 
If this is what a smell could do, he couldn’t wait to taste it. He inched the cup closer to his mouth, he could feel the heat from the hot liquid begin to tickle his nose, as the condensation licked his lips, never in his life had he wanted to taste a cup of coffee as much as he did in that moment. 
He felt the hot liquid slosh against the cup as he drew it closer, his bottom lip touched the smooth paper cup, despite the intensity of the heat, he was ready to take it in, to welcome it into his mouth. His hand tilted ever so slightly, closing his eyes hoping the taste would match its scent. His stomach lurched in anticipation, his mouth watered for the warmth he craved. 
He took in a deep breath, and just as he felt the beginnings of warmth were welcomed on his tongue … it was gone. The closeness that had been there a second ago vanished, as he felt someone bump into his elbow, forcing his arm into his side, causing his hand to tilt from the sheer surprise and weight of the person bumping into him. Propelling the hot liquid out of its treasured container,  spilling all over his hand.
The heat and burn was unbearable on his skin. His fingers released the dangerous substance before he even realized what happened. He winced at first from the burn, and then when his eyes fluttered open trying to determine what just happened, the pain in his hand subsided as soon as his eyes focused on the downed coffee cup.
It almost brought a tear to his eyes to see the coppery rich liquid all over the floor before he even had a chance to taste it. His hand clenched as his irritation flared again, this time with renewed vigour, he turned his head sharply to the culprit, his eyes narrowing as he looked upon the face of the person who’d chosen death today.
AO3 Link   |   Words: 1,199   |   PREVIOUS - -> NEXT
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@justanothersadperson93​ @liadamerondjarin​ @badbatch-simp24​ @spicymcnuggies​ @lady-ren​ @firstofficerwiggles​ @darkangel4121​ @discofern​ @kavecika​ @monako-jinn-stories​ @ladykatakuri​ @avathebestx​ @theroguesully​ @furyhellfire66​ @carodealmeida​ @ciramaris​ @sprout-fics​ @twinkofthedink​ @dindjarin-mandalorian​ @clonethirstingisreal @crosshair-is-the-superior-clone @totallyunidentified @griffedeloup
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president-alpine · 2 years
Text
Starscream became a lawyer and no one is safe
This was an idea that my friends and I made a while back, so throwing it onto Tumblr.
So, imagine now the war is over and the Decepticons have finally finished their probations! (A MIRACLE) But now it's up to them to figure out what they want to do with their lives.
Starsceam went back to college to finish up his education. He decides to become a lawyer since science was an absolute mess.
However, being a backstabber, learning alien laws, and doing all that boring paperwork made him a scarily good lawyer, since he passed with perfect score on the Bar Exam (Aka, the test that allows you to become a certified lawyer and is extremely difficult).
Much to the horror of everyone.
Such as how Thundercracker finds out how much fun Starscream is having.
Starscream: "TC! Guess what, I became a lawyer, and I made my opponents cry!"
TC: "Star, lawyers are not supposed to make others cry."
As well learning all the wonderful evidence that he has to go through.
Starscream: "TC, can you believe this divorce case? I am going to see all their photos and see if there is some good gossip."
TC: "Wait no!"
The court cases have never been more chaotic, Starscream is throwing evidence (both figuratively and literally), backstabbing even his own clients, and has even shot the prosecutor
One time Megatron is on trial, and guess who they bring in.
Megatron: "I wonder who's my lawyer. I hope it's someone good."
Starscream: KICKS DOWN DOOR "I AM HERE!"
Megatron: "I think I would rather lose."
Somehow, someway, Starscream is able to pull it off and they win!
Megatron doesn't even know what to say.
Megatron: "How the frag?"
While Starscream is smiling the whole way, some of the Autobots in the court crashed.
Starscream found a way to cement himself as one of the greatest yet the most terrifying lawyer on Cybertron.
Though if you call him, be prepared for him to read your posts with tea.
Starscream: *Scrolling through posts* "Roast them, destroy their self-esteem!" *Sips energon tea*
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captainjacklyn · 2 years
Note
Pomefiore with a reader that's too honest (bit like vil???)
Like reader would judge everyone, in a negative way. They could be positive but nah <3.
They don't care about other people feelings because is not their not business.
Would roast you,how you look because why not
Let's imagine reader is very smart like young sheldon cooper: Could tell you why you don't exist and you would believe them logic
That's just me in a nutshell, Let's do it !
Content : Pomefiore has to deal with another very judgy person and that one person is the famous Simon Cowell 2.0 = reader. Let's see how long they handle it.
Warning(s) : I cuss a lot so if you wouldn't want to see such language you have the freedom to ignore this post. If you like these character so much that you refuse to see them roasted, again, ignore the post. If this is what you wanted, enjoy !
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Potato why is rook crying on the floor ?
And it isn't just rook this time it's the ENTIRE FUCKING DORM.
He can't handle you and your judgement especially that every time he makes one movement or breaths for a second, you just pop out of nowhere to insult his face.
"how about you eat some of your makeup ? So that you'll be pretty on the inside for once you son of a-"
"do you anything better to do, potato ?"
"No...Oh wait !"
?
"Quit trying to be smartass when all you are is a pain in the ass"
POTATO-
And of course you get away with everything because why the fuck not ?
But he sometimes enjoy your judgement when it comes to other dorm students such as epel to remind him of what is happening and how he should be acting like.
"You know Vil, your obsession over your face isn't that bad cause if laughter became a medicine, you would be curing the world right now"
FUCK YOUR HEAD AND THE NECK IT RODE ON, HE IS DONE WITH YOU IN EVERY WAY IMAGINABLE.
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My my someone is quite straight forward today aren't they ?
"SHUT UP ROOK THIS IS THE 800th TIME YOU'VE TOLD ME THAT TODAY I AM SICK OF IT"
*shuts up from your response and says absolutely nothing for the rest of the day, leona is grateful to you too bad you called him a cunt the last time you two interacted with each other*
you might say this is out of character for rook to be scared of someone who judges others. And it probably fucking is because I don't know shit about this man AT ALL.
besides the fact that he :
comes from Savannaclaw, leaves to be in Pomefiore, had freckles, magically got rid of them, falls in love with Vil, becomes a stalker, tries to murder people and gets away with it like a FUCKING CHAMPION, speaks French in the most illegal way possible (as a French native myself I felt threatened), loves everything and everyone (I swear to god that you will one day see him staring at a pile of shit and then straight up look at you to tell you about his kinks)
But with you being the judgmental person you are only makes him want to pry into your personal life and ask an incredible amount of inappropriate questions.
If that's not good enough for you, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.
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You two will have each other's heads. Epel is tired of your judging just popping out of nowhere and anywhere.
epel already has a bad bond with you but it only thickens as you insult the absolute fuck out of this guy. Just straight up : "epel stop sucking at everything there is something called 'swallow'"
Was that a bad roast ? It was a bad roast, I ran out of ideas once rook's part was over.
But I will keep going even if it kills me because I love your request and I'm planning on SACRIFICING MY LIFE FOR YOUR ASKS.
moving on epel had started to show signs of his naturally insane self, you both tried to choke each other once-
Don't think that this apple on chopstick didn't try to stab you in your sleep at night. I'm not exaggerating this is just what I would expect from an ordinary apple with no poison.
Sorry for this epel stans but I have decided it will be this way. Y 'all can try to murder me as much as you want I won't take it back.
APOLOGISE-
OVER MY DEAD BODY !
*feels like I shouldn't have said that because you are most likely to turn this into a reality*
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Thank you for reading I hope you enjoy it.
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lottieurl · 9 months
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i know it's not jackie's failgirl day but this just popped into my mind and i can't let it go.
there's something so interesting about how jackie looks in the wilderness. she dresses in more "masculine" clothing and while she looks like a boy toddler whose rich parents decided to dress them up for easter, she clearly picked these clothing for their trip to seattle. a place that's free from the prying eyes of her hometown.
i go back and forth on jackie's self-awareness about her lesbianism a lot but she must have known on some level that she was a little dykey with the way she was looking in those woods right? like nobody is pulling up looking like THAT without knowing BUT then again, this is jackie taylor and she's got that neurodivergent coding in her too.
HFHZJSJS YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO ROAST HER LIKE THIS WASN'T SHE ROASTED (LITERALLY) ENOUGH IN CANON. but anyways holy shit i haven't THOUGHT of that? like i have a post in the making about jackie and taissa and appearance and masculinity etc etc (and also like. neurodivergence and yea the post is getting out of control a little so it's gonna be in notes app forever <3) and somehow i haven't thought of the fact that jackie packed those for the trip????? i don't think you have to be self aware about being gay for this tho but that does call into question how much of her wiskayok appearance was actually because of her parents specifically. huh
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littlestsnicket · 22 days
Text
- over the weekend i made pot roast because of the tumblr post a bunch of people reblogged. delicious, easy, do recommend. i used a slow cooker instead of the oven. i did almost have to order emergency takeout because i poked it at the time it was supposed to be done, and it was very much not done. it took almost 6 hours instead of the expected 4 to 5. also was a little bit too salty, but that was user error when i swapped out the onion soup mix for stock powder. would try again.
- performance review time at work. this is the only thing i really genuinely hate about my job. our performance review process is so overly involved and stupid. it’s one thing to make people so overly long and involved self-assessments. i DO NOT want to review my coworkers performance.
- relatedly, i took the clifton strength finder quiz for work, and idk, it seemed really pointless. do not recommend. like, i know meyers-briggs tests are weird pseudoscience but at least they attempt to tell you something interesting? this is just like “here is a list of your strengths and what they mean” and i was like… “how could you possibly not already know these things about yourself? what even is this?”
- scrum writing experiment is going well. retro/review/planning time under cut
- i did all the things i committed to! well, all of the things i committed to initially, and then did one of the two things i pulled in. got distracted by beta reading feedback, but i think that was a better use of my time than what i had pulled in.
- i love task lists and little sticky notes and moving the sticky notes around. physical sprint board was definitely the right choice. and also having all the things left to do laid out? very good.
- there was a point, around mid-sprint, where i was talking to kuwdora and thinking, but what if i do more of a kanban thing and don’t make commitments? no. this was lies, i did those things because i said i was going to. commitments are good
- i do think it was good to make smaller commitments than really push myself though. this is supposed to be fun. i’m always telling my work team “no we should be committing to a sprints worth of work, none of this ‘oh we call pull more in’ nonsense”, but as i already said, this is a hobby, not work. i’m just trying to gently encourage myself to actually do the hobby i enjoy instead of… not doing it
- one week sprints were also a good choice. encourages smaller, clearly defined tasks
- i think i need to break a lot of the tasks that are currently in the backlog down into smaller pieces. they are not clear, actionable commitments.
- i’ll work on that and share a picture of my new sprint board for accountability by tomorrow morning at the latest (rock climbing this evening so i may, legitimately, not have time.)
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pomegranateboba · 2 months
Text
ArTw OC
i finally got my lazy ass onto picrew to make my OC guys i hope yall are proud of me
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This is my OC (read self-insert) guys her name is Nicole
In her early 20s
Birthday is 17 February
Half Korean and half British, but lives in Korea
Juggles all 6 boys like some sort of harem (she has given up on choosing one)
"Summoner please don't do that" *proceeds to do exactly that*
174cm tall (5'8.5)
very bisexual (wishes there were more women)
You have chosen to keep reading. I hope you like reading because I have never written a longer post before.
Relationships with the boys:
Arcturus:
"guys he a lil clementine i love him"
She can crochet, so she made a crochet orange for him once
Protects him from Sirius
"rawr arcky" "...thank you Summoner?"
Likes hanging around him, because he's very approachable
Sneaks him out of work whenever his clan mates drag him to work, whether he likes it or not
Takes care of plants with him
Spared from her constant roasting
Her heart explodes whether he speaks
Spica:
First interaction: "Are you Rapunzel?" "Excuse me?"
"guys he won't let me braid his hair :("
Respects Spica a lot, because he's responsible (unlike her)
For his birthday, she has given him a chameleon named Pascal
Pascal now sits on his shoulder
Getting Spica out of work using force doesn't work, so she resorts to guilt tripping (it always works)
Alpheratz:
Nods in approval every time he prioritizes sleeping.
Likes taking naps with him whenever possible
*pointing at Alpheratz asleep under a tree* "eepy."
Lets him lean on her
"guys he keeps calling me short." "But you are"
"Why does his grandpa keep shipping us wtf"
Crochets a whole fucking blanket for this man
Sometimes points Spica in the wrong direction when he asks where Alpheratz is
Watches them fight like it's a K-drama (has snacks on her)
"It's like that scene in Harry Potter guys, except Sirius and Remus are Spica and Alpheratz and I'm Snape."
Pollux:
First impression: very squishable
Current impression: still very squishable
Absolutely adores Pollux
Flexes that she is like 2cm taller than him
"Short." "i'n nOT THAT SHORT-" "Short."
Her, Poll and Arcky are almost always seen together, and if they're not (Summoner gone), something is wong
"Or maybe I'm just with someone else." "BUT YOU KEEP DISAPPEARING"
Let's Pollux drag her out (away from Sirius)
Keeps snacks on her so that she and Poll can share
Vega:
"Vega my beloved"
Thinks it is very fun to tease Vega, considering he gets flustered very easily
Though she has toned down the flirting by a lot when Vega actually passed out once (very canon)
Looks up at Vega like ":3" and he replies "...how do you say that out loud?"
"He's very cute" (canon)
*pap paps his head*
Knows he is very overprotective, and constantly assures Vega that she will be fine. He doesn't believe her.
Vega is also spared from her constant roasting
Very affectionate to Vega, solely because he's always so worried about her.
Sirius:
"Sirisus T-T"
"Summoner, I got you a new bottle of shampoo since your old one seems to be running out :)" "How did you get into my room"
Is unable to keep Sirius out of her room, no matter how many locks and charms she places on her doors and windows.
Lets Sirius take her out (in all 3 ways, simply because)
She very much enjoys watching him perform.
Joins in when he starts practicing his acting skills out of the blue.
Has figured out how to read Sirius (works 90% of the time). Sirius doesn't understand how she does it.
Despite being a deep sleeper, she knows whenever someone (Sirius) has found their way into her room (most of the time)
Thinks Sirius is extremely hot and that therefore cancels out half his sins (emphasis on half)
*after a few hours* "wait...how did he know I was running out of shampoo?"
Personal stuff:
"where are all the women at?" (cue Sirius transforming into a woman)
Downbadussy. (no i shall not explain)
"Alpheratz is sleeping under a tree again." "...I almost asked what a tree was." "Nicole what the fuck."
Has a whole 3 friends in Mid Earthium. They do k-pop dance covers together (I might talk more about them if yall want.)
Bullies little kids on Minecraft.
Has like 100 Minecraft axolotls
Enjoys drawing (both digital and traditional art)
Sucks at sugarcoating her words
"Oh my stars I'm so stupid." "For real."
Her closet at home is like something out of a Pinterest board
Is very strong mentally, which is good because the life of a Summoner is very traumatic.
Is eerily calm because of that. It makes even Sirius uncomfortable
Hyperfixation. She now knows things ranging from the evolution of frogs to various medieval torture methods.
Keeps a pen in her pocket for self defense
"It passes airport security." "...why are you like this."
Either sleeps for 25 hours a day or doesn't sleep at all.
Her staple foods are water and bubble tea.
Can withstand cold, but instantly dies when it becomes too hot.
"It's so hot here." "My apologies, Summoner." "...I hate you."
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