#this is all from discord but it’s hilarious

[hiis-theme]

somewhere out there is an alternate timeline where toby was correct and people actually did hate spamton. could you imagine that. i have to imagine we wouldn't have gotten the spamton sweepstakes in that case which is crazy to think about given how much lore that gave us-

#puppy rambles #deltarune #spamton #my favorite part of the spamton sweepstakes is the part of the q&a where spamton implied he and jevil are divorced #are all the secret bosses in a polycule you think. we need to add to this deranged relationship #diversity win! all the people who were driven insane by being told their world is just a game are in a polyamorous relationship <3 #i like to think gaster made a discord for all of them. just like ''hey. sorry for telling you your world's fake. here's a discord. good by' #i don't even care about the secret bosses super much but they still amuse me greatly. even if there's only two of them rn- #spamton is so hilarious. idk why everyone is so obsessed with him but it makes him even funnier to me #also his text in brackets is fun to write. it's also hard to write but you can do so much with it #since it's taken from various places on the internet you can just reference memes #... i mean the one problem is that it'd probably have to be memes from the time period deltarune's in #so like. early 2000's or 2010's #but the valentines don't regard that and reference more recent memes so who knows really #maybe deltarune's actually meant to be in modern times. i mean you could fully convince me #that noelle just likes old internet-style websites and stuff dfskljfdsdfjksfkjlsfkj- #(i mean some of the meme references are up to interpretation) #(but the two definite ones are the war thunder forums leaking military documents and also the hotel mario intro) #(and at the very least the former is a newer thing) #(there's also seemingly references to the ''let me in'' meme and the foam shower images from the april fool's newsletter last year) #(idk where the fuck else ''insulating foam'' would be taken from-) #i hope spamton just randomly contributes to conversations sometimes if you have the dealmaker equipped #i logically doubt it but it'd be extremely hilarious #i'm now imagining equipping the dealmaker to noelle. who was not there for either spamton encounter #''um. kris why's there a voice in my head telling me to be a big shot?'' ''don't worry about it'' #alternatively if you just get the dealmaker from the hole in castle town cuz you have another file with it #... can you do that in chapter 2 files. if so then can you technically have the dealmaker while not having met spamton- #''player why is there a voice in my head telling me to be a big shot'' ''don't worry about it'' #''i'm sparing you from having an existential crisis later-''

[spideygal]

When my parent starts telling me something that she remembers that clearly doesn't sound like me and I know damn well it's her own words because I've heard it a million times coming out of her mouth:

#`i want to improve relations with you` cool; now accept that you've hurt me and that you're manipulating me. accept that not everyone feels #safe around you and that they don't want to be in the same place as you; and accept that you conveniently make up memories of me to prove a #point. now i only got access to tumblr and discord via chromebook. christ give me strength in this household. #the caucasity of this bitch #vent post #if anyone knows a homeless shelter that is in spain that allows animals please share because i am trying to look them up but they either #have bad reviews; or don't have reviews at all. the fact that there are more shelters of protecting abandoned plants than shelters for #kids who (might in my case) run away from home from what i've seen that is near my area is hilarious though- #homeless shelter

[infinity-crafter]

The main discord server I'm in just had its first major event after years of just existing.

Everything is one FUCKING fire and everyone is a damn bear.

And the reactions have been... diverse, to say the least.

These being some of my favorite ones

#discord #chaos #discord server #smokey the bear #i find this hilarious #im also the one roleplaying as Smokey #this all started because we had to end a dnd session early because me and another player wouod not stop making bear puns #we couldnt stop laughing to the point of my face hurting #but everyone else was just in despair #the best part. i was the dm #and it was entirely my player's faults #one of them convinced another bear to start a gang war #and it escalated from there #thwy dont know it yet. but the bear they originally helped is going to come back with powers gifted from the gods #dnd #bears #everything is on fire

[mushroom-winners-proof]

the compulsion to actually make a discord server so everyone can properly chat together about stuff and share stuff is greater-than-usualy on this rainy friday

#not kh #but it could be #snap chats #see like i dont know if i would though #because i know a part of the appeal of tumblr's inbox system is the anonymity of it all and the lack of commitment #like with a server everyone can identify you and talk to you privately or publicly yk the score #i feel like putting everyone in a disccord server would be like putting everyone in one of those like. senate rooms #except instead of talking one at a time it's everyone screamin WHICH not a terrible thing it sounds hilarious #im also terrible at checkin in with discord servers so i feel like i'd be about as active as my dad is in my life #like i'll check in once a month MAYBE and bring a bucket of chicken but aside from that..... #i unno thats a lot of responsibility too #ive had discord servers before and i mean. they werent TERRIBLE but they couldve been run better #i was also like 16 i think when i made them LMAO and i would like to think i have a bit of a bigger brain now #but like i said the appeal of inboxing is anonymity and non-commitment so its like would people even wanna join a discord right #like thats the novelty of tumblr inbox its so sporadic and wack- s'like a one-and-done thing and that's the comedy of it #also i know how joining servers work: you join say hi and then never touch it again #i unno i unno #i am posting this but ill prob delete it after i take a piss

[astrxealis]

man i’m kinda exhausted tbh. maybe. maybe. i sleep

also fun fact i think it is hilarious that. w/o context. i will say i screamed this birthday more than any other bday b4

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #haha. hahaha. No #anyways more rambles bcs i just REMEMBERED. holy shit #okay i will explain in tags now. the context #I WATCHED TRAIN TO BUSAN FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! watching scary movie on bday yeah haha #it is funny that the lil girl has a bday in the movie... and it was my bday when we were watching... LMFAO #speaking of which bayo3 and arknights anime and the new gbf event w kou uncap is here now. i will do that asap #i've barely checked any bday greetings from games save for a bit from lyria so far and those from marius ... >___< #anyways yeah i watched scary movie w friends this night. hilarious. i even teared up. and got so angry at those guys. they deserved that #<33 ^^ BUT YEAH this is the bday i've screamed the most. my throat hurts tbh. also the cake earlier was pretty sweet #but uh fun to play around w. yeah. yeah. GJHSDBJHG YEAH i kinda play w my food <//3 it is fun okay. also it's not too messy #just lil weird designs and uhh stuff. like splitting the cake layers and lune adding uhh the cake onto the icing of the cake (??) yeah?? #yeah tho WHEEEEE !!! o man right... i was surprised to see who first greeted me hbd tbh. from my class #vv nice of them tho gdsbgjhsbd i wasn't expecting it from her tho. ALSO HOLY SHIT I NEED TO WATCH THE TXT VIDEOS #they preformed here in the ph on my bday and they are my favs. i love them #also i shld check out my favs like social media accts from games and kpop and see what are posts on my bday LMFAO #THE LIGHTS FUCKING WENT OFF WE HAD A VERY QUICK BROWNOUT HOOOOOLY SHIT #o man i was kinda scared to check some of my other discord servers bcs i forget them bcs i have. a lot of stuff and all #so only really focus on the ones i have energy for but I DIDNT HAVE TO WORRY MUCH ... SOBS ......... i am happy #I FORGOT THIS WAS HERE. oh my god #i stop ramlbing and now talk irl

[buggachat]

“adrien was never allowed to go to public school” ladynoir AUs are so underrated tbh. the reveal is arguably even more earth-shattering than canon’s. in an AU where marinette personally doesn’t know adrien at all, the reveal becomes the in-universe equivalent of finding out your boyfriend on discord has been Harry Styles all along. and you’re not even necessarily a fan. fucking hilarious. iconic. how does she come back from that. how do you just continue on your day after finding out your life is a wattpad fic

#it’s almost 4 am but I had to sit up in bed to post this. ok goodnight

[howtofightwrite]

Every movie makes it look so easy to snap someone's neck by twisting their head really fast and hard, and it's used all the time, but it can't possibly be that easy or effective can it? It's not like every Joe Schmoe on the street can start going around snapping necks can they? They also love to have people snap necks between their thighs, I imagine that's even harder and less likely to work.

So, breaking someone's neck with your bare hands basicallyisn't a thing. Actually breaking your neck doesn't take a lot of force, but the whole neck snap thing takes an absolutely comical amount of force to work, and even if it did, it wouldn't necessarily be lethal. The idea is that it severs the spinal column or the brain stem, but in practice, all you'd be able to do is abuse some dense muscles and ligatures.

This is a real risk in auto accidents, particularly if the victim isn't properly belted, but the version you see in films is pure fiction.

Choking someone out is a lot more viable. This can either come from asphyxiation, or from obstructing blood flow to the brain. The former is slow, and is likely to cause the victim to panic while they slowly lose consciousness. The latter (sometimes called a blood choke, or triangle choke) can quickly lead to death, as you starve the brain of oxygen by cutting it off after it's been absorbed by the body. You do sometimes see these in film, though the amount of time needed to subdue someone is hilariously abbreviated. If you're just choking someone, that will take minutes before they'll lose consciousness, and they're going to seriously start to freak out once they realize they can't breath. Blood chokes, as mentioned earlier, are faster, but you're still looking at a long time in a fight.

Neck snapping with the thighs is about as plausible as the neck twist. Choking someone out with the thighs is slightly more credible. Legs can be used in submission holds while grappling. But, if we're being honest, I think we all know that this isn't used because it's realistic, it's the sex appeal. Without speaking from personal experience, I suspect thigh chokes are harder to get out of, simply because your legs are significantly stronger than your arms, but I'm speculating.

Also, importantly, suffering a broken neck isn't (usually) going to be immediately lethal. As mentioned earlier, unless the spinal chord is severed or the brain stem is damaged, they'll survive. This may result in a life altering injury, but it's not going to be an, “oh, they're instantly, and quietly, dead.”

I remember running across a news report, when we last covered this, where a couple of teens had decided to kill someone by snapping their neck. The victim ended up with some soreness in their neck, and the teens went away for attempted murder. Moral of the story, this doesn't work.

-Starke

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#writing reference #writing advice #writing tips #how to fight write #starke answers #starke is not a real doctor

[agentldiddy]

The latest warframe update just made me realize how hilarious a lot of the worldbuilding for Deimos sounds. To count:

-it is the moon that holds the one power source for your main tool in the game

-it is completely infected by the cyborg disease that turns you into a flesh monster. To the point it has boils and organs

-one of the only safe spots is the home of a family consisting of members of a superhuman race that ran the most oppressive empire possible

-the family are all sticking out of giant flesh flowers and act like a sitcom about the least functional family possibly

-one member of the family helps organize a small guerilla warfare group that regularly sabotages the remnants of a cult that briefly took over the solar system (through what’s essentially future discord/zoom)

-another member bought a series of vents on a space evangelist’s slave colony on Venus so the homeless kids living there don’t have to worry about being evicted from there so they can continue setting up street races

-deep below the surface, the boyfriend of the family’s distant patriarch who discovered a parallel dimension that warps space was snoozing for millennia.

-said boyfriend is currently helping organizing a lab manned by talking animals made to safely send the patriarch to 1999 in order to distract an eldritch entity from the realm he discovered and fight off said entity as he sends his minions to tear the lab apart

-the only person who knows about this lab is a robot servant based off the boyfriend, who has a human skull embedded in him and a split personality that speaks through cracks on his back made to look like a face

-this planet lets you get mechs (with human skulls in the cockpits)

-during the event where a different member of the superhuman overlord race usurped an army of a vengeful robot race to take over the solar system, they completely avoided this moon like the plague (which is technically is)

-upon finding the lab you are given a book of spells

#warframe #deimos #warframe Deimos #spoilers

[dandylovesturtles]

discord likes to enable me

———

There’s a familiar clack-step-clack-step-clack-step, and Donnie un-shrimps himself from over his keyboard before he has to hear a lecture about posture.

“Heeey, hermano,” says Leo, and Donnie swivels his chair. He’s leaning on his crutches, an easy smile on his face that Donnie isn’t sure to trust. “You busy?”

“Yes, actually, I am. In fact, I have a prioritized list.” Which is ever growing, mostly because he keeps thinking of things to add.

An alien invasion that nearly kills your entire family is great for creativity and motivation.

“Yeah, I know.” Leo leans more heavily on the crutch so he can rub the back of his head. “Kind of a rhetorical question.”

“If you know then why are you bothering me?”

Leo’s smile falls a bit, and he shifts back and forth for a second. Donnie feels an itch grow under his skin the longer he spends not working, and he has to bite back the urge to snap at him to come out with it.

“Actually, don’t worry about it,” says Leo finally, taking a hobbling step back. “You’ve got enough to do, so… I’ll let you get back to it.”

And Donnie almost lets it go there, gets back to his work and lets Leo go back to whatever he was doing, but…

Something about the whole exchange does not sit right with him. Leo must want something, so why won’t he just tell him? It makes the same itch prickle in his hands, like there’s something here for him to fix if Leo will just let him know.

“You might as well tell me what you need,” he says, turning to his computer and pulling up his list. “I’ll assess it and prioritize.”

“No, no, that’s okay. It’s nothing,” Leo insists.

“Nardo.” Donnie levels his best stare at him. “What is it?”

Leo stops, hesitates again, and then slowly clack-steps his way back to Donnie’s desk. “Alright… but when I tell you, you can’t laugh.”

Donnie laughs once, preemptively. “Well, I can’t promise that. What if it’s funny?”

“Sheesh. You’re the king of sensitivity, aren’t you?” Leo rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t turn tail and bolt. He rocks back and forth one more time, then clears his throat.

“I, uh… I want… more lighting for my room.”

Donnie narrows his eyes. “What’s wrong with the lighting you already have?”

“I mean, it’s fine when I’m awake. I was just thinking, you know…” Leo clears his throat. “I could just have, like… some dimmer lights for nighttime. Just.. just enough that I can see, if I… need to get up in the middle of the night, or… something wakes me up, or whatever.”

Oh, thinks Donnie. This isn’t funny.

Of course, Leo asking him to build a nightlight would have been downright hilarious even just two months ago. But that was before the invasion.

That was before Donnie was woken up in the middle of the night by an alert from Leo’s heart monitor. That was before he found Leo huddled in a corner of the medbay, shielding his head with his arms and begging not to be hurt anymore. That was before they all agreed to leave the lights on, even when - especially when - Leo was sleeping, so he wouldn’t wake up in the dark.

He says he’s fine now. Donnie wonders why he believed that, because Leo said he was fine back then, too.

He turns back to his computer and adds a new entry to his list, under High Priority.

“What kind of lights do you want?” he asks. He doesn’t call it a “nightlight” because Leo would probably tell him to forget about it again.

“Uh, well, they have to be cool.” Leo rolls his eyes up like he’s thinking, even though Donnie imagines he’s rehearsed this in his head. “And not too bright - I don’t want them to wake up anyone else.”

He doesn’t want it to look anything like a nightlight, and he doesn’t want them to be especially noticeable. Donnie can work with that. Compared to everything else he has to do, this is a pretty simple challenge.

“I think I can work something out,” he says. “Just give me a couple days to find materials.”

“No rush,” says Leo quickly. “Whenever you get to it is fine.”

“Yes, yes,” Donnie says. “I’m not going to drop everything for a miscellaneous lighting project.”

He casually moves the lights up a few spots.

“Yeah, sure,” says Leo, already backpedaling out of the room. “I’ll leave you to your nerd stuff. And you better not stay hunched over your computer all day!”

“Scoff!” yells Donnie after him. He got the posture lecture after all.

———

It takes him a little over a week to finish Leo’s lights - longer than he wanted, but it took time to gather the materials.

He steps through the curtain to find Leo waiting for him, tapping his foot. Donnie had unceremoniously kicked him out hours ago with no explanation, but he still thinks the look he’s getting is a bit overdramatic.

“Are you going to tell me what you’re doing now?” Leo asks, and Donnie grins wide, ever the showman.

“Of course, dear brother.” He grabs the curtain in one hand. “I finished your lights, and I have to say I really outdid myself this time.”

Leo’s irate expression turns shocked. “Wait, seriously? Already?”

“Well, it took longer than I wanted, but yes, I am done. I think you are going to be pleased with the results.”

So saying, he throws the curtain aside with a flourish and reveals the room to Leo.

Leo’s jaw drops, and he pushes past Donnie to go inside, spinning around to get a good look. “Dude,” he says, a grin growing that stretches ear to ear.

He likes it. Donnie feels a rush of relief and satisfaction, and he grins just as wide as his brother. “Yes, I know, I’m amazing.”

“Dude,” Leo repeats. “It looks rad as hell.”

Donnie has to concur with that one, of course. He spent all day installing tasteful and aesthetic track lighting, currently glowing a soft blue. It’s running along the aisle through the middle of Leo’s bedroom, along with a line across the whole car at bar height, and more lines ribbing the ceiling. He even lined out spots on the wall for Leo’s posters, now custom framed in glittering lights.

It looks as rad as Leo said, but the most important thing of all is that now every corner of Leo’s room is lit, leaving nowhere for enemies to hide or threatening shadows to lurk. He will feel safe here, even if he wakes up from a nightmare. At least, Donnie hopes so.

He hands Leo a remote, pointing out buttons as he talks. “I’ve given you a few different options. You can turn the lights on, or set them on a timer, or use this setting to make them motion activated. And here you can change the colors, though of course I have preprogrammed in your signature. Oh, and here…” He presses a button, and the track lights begin to pulsate. “You can set it to different patterns if you’d like.”

“Oh man.” Leo grins, immediately playing with the buttons. “You seriously killed it - this is so cool, Dee.”

“Yes, yes, as I said, I am amaz- oof.”

He’s cut off by Leo grabbing him in a hug, arms squeezed tight around Donnie’s battleshell.

“Thanks,” he says, his voice surprisingly serious. “I really, really love it. Two reallys.”

Donnie sighs, but hugs him back. “I just hope it helps.”

“It will.” Leo steps back, his grin lopsided but real. “Anyway, it looks like a nightclub in here, bet I could throw some great parties.”

Donnie smirks. “Invite me and I’ll waive my fee.”

“Extortion,” says Leo, a laugh in his tone. “I should have seen that coming.”

“Yes you should have. How long have we lived together?”

“Forever.” Leo gives him a light shove with his shoulder. “It’s alright sometimes though.”

“That’s because I’m amazing, as I have said.”

Leo snorts. “Yeah, yeah,” he says, but his smile is real and genuine, and Donnie feels warm to his core.

Another thing crossed off his list.

#dandy fanfiction #rottmnt #rise Leo #rise donnie #literally never know how to end these lol

[greyias]

Twitterpocalypse -- The Final Countdown(?)

*cracks knuckles*

All right. I had thought we were done. I had thought about retiring these, as the last one got a bit out of hand. I had planned on doing other things tonight, but it appears, my people need me.

And this genuinely might be the last one (at least from me). So let's see if I can sum up what's happened since our last episode, and see how many screenshots I can artfully arrange together before Tumblr breaks.

On Tuesday, things were already starting to break.

Wednesday:

Twitter 1.0 is dead. Long live Twitter 2.0!

It's just like the nineties, because it's EXTREMEly HARDCORE

Then somehow. After that was when things started getting weird.

Not content to be the technoking who is responsible for the engineering of rockets and for the technology in the exploding cars that make them successful, he decided to become a lawyer too.

He's really good at it.

And then this is what lured me into a false sense of security at *checks timestamp* almost 5pm last night.

That's right. Less than three weeks at the job, looking at the flames spreading all around him, Muskhead decided "I did good", or you know. He got bored. Things were quiet this morning, I thought maybe they'd found the tranq gun again. Nope. I shouldn't have looked away.

Because suddenly on Discord everyone's asking me about my next Twitterpocalypse update. And I'm like "??? I looked away for like A SECOND". And open up the app and...

Reactions have been mixed.

I don't know what you guys are talking about. This is HARDCORE EXTREME. Like a Rob Liefeld drawing. Which is absolutely the way to run one of the most important communication platforms in the entire world.

UMMM

RIP TWITTER 2.0

🫡

Farewell big bird. You were hilarious. You were horrible. You connected so many people, you literally ruined so many lives. Just waiting for the official return of the Fail Whale, as we all know it's coming.

#twitterpocalypse #sorry about no alt-text #just too much to type #long post #and somehow it seems to be breaking tumblr too #as i can barely save or post or check my notifications #are the twitfugees flooding the servers now?

[dahfloofysmol]

HELLO. This is the official post for YouTube kids’ surprise party on the 27th of March. Any and all gimmick blogs welcomed!

Some roles we need are:

-DJ [real-pollo-campero]

-great DJ (as per requested 🤨) [spotify-kids-real]

-video jockey [buildabearfr]

-Someone to make the cake [forever21-official]

-Puncher server [big-mayo-official]

-Decorator [barns-and-noble-official]

-Party crasher(s) [officialtinder and youtubefr and actually-kroger]

-Corner Person [Pinterest, yahooo-official, reallytimhortons]

-Person who’s dealing with a crazy sugar high [firewaysubs and zotap]

-Emotional support [walmart and def-bjs-guys]

-Mom [Krista the art program and Canadian tire] AND dad friend

-Birthday person IS taken (obviously lol)

-Someone to bring snacks [incognito-mode-official]

-Ring Leader (person in charge of the games) [totally-official-yahoo]

-person who performs a special but confusing (and overly translated) version of happy birthday [google translate ]

-piñata [firehouse-subs-fr]

-setting off fireworks [google-news-official]

-here for the food and bringing tWO DOGS!!! OMG DOGS!!!!! [swearification-and-cursing]

-person currently trying tO EAT THE CAKE!! STOP THAT!!! [shakespeare-official-account]

- stopping the Cake Eater [wow-google-maps]

- putting spiders (?????) under the cake [true-blue-straya]

- the person that is every bisexuals awakening [it’s-target-official]

-pops in for the last 5 minutes with a card + a store bought cake [the-real-google]

- gay wine uncle [the-McDonald’s]

- creepy uncle (???) [rick-e-chedder-official]

-single rich aunt who disappears every night at specifically 8:00 pm [totally-not-kraft-mac-and-cheese]

-shapeshifts between wine aunt and vodka uncle, and the comic relief [the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

- bringing lights so we aren’t all dancing in the dark [real-vivaldi-browser]

- summoning Satan under the table with a bottle of whiskey and pancakes (??????????) [definitely-canada]

-person asking weirdly specific and absurd questions [actual-aspec-military]

-the COOLEST cousin [support-speaks]

-cousin who hangs out in the corner and looks like they know something you dont [the-official-publix]

-person who hits on everyone at the party even though they’re already dating 2 ppl [fr-winn-dixie]

-contributes Ziploc® bags [totally-scjohnson]

-bringing burritos [the-real-chipotle]

-YouTube's kids southern aunt who blesses everyone's hearts bc they think theyre dumb most of the time [i-bless-your-heart]

-middle school cousin who argues with anyone and everyone to look cool [wallyworld-the-unofficial]

-gives oil (?????????????) and branded pens as party favors [truly-jcjenson]

-the strange neighbor kid who talks to no one but sings the loudest and brings a weird yet tasteful gift [the-real-aperture-science]

-bringing Walmart sugar cookies [not-really-discord]

-guy bringing the Knives [wheatley-labs-official]

-joining in on the games [totally-official-yahoo]

-the disco ball [jollibee-real]

-that one uncle with lore of untold numbers of deaths involved, and that includes guns [partycityistotallyofficailguy]

And any other role I haven’t stated!! I’ll accept pretty much anything

In case what you pick is already chosen, tag your second option ;p

—>The biggest part of the surprise party is wishing YouTube kids a happy birthday, but in the most creative way possible. In the “ask me” works, but literally anywhere; on your blog or on a post from anywhere (that you know they’d be okay with a little shenanigans) works wonderfully.

->Also, saying happy birthday is awesome, but spicing it up would be more fun!!! Day Of Birth, One of Awakening, Oh Child of the 27th, and any other batshit way to say “happy birthday” would both be awesome and absolutely hilarious.

Again, invite any and all gimmick blogs, and feel free to let me know what you’d want to do! We attack on the 27th >:DD

ADDITIONAL NOTE: sometimes there will be more than one person in each role! I do actively encourage for people to come up with silly and niche roles if you think of one ;D

ON THE 24th I WILL NO LONGER TAKE ROLLS!!!! Spread the word please!

@barnes-and-noble-official @basically-bumble @totallyofficialtacobell @totally-official-yahoo @totally-bing @officialtinder @officially-google-translate @officially-ikea @official-fedex @incognito-mode-official @forever21-offical @officialkfc @kfc-official @k-f-c-official @life360-i-swear @xgames-blog @cars-official @big-mayo-official @bingle-official @the-real-google @the-real-firefox @nasa @wow-google-maps @wallyworld-the-unofficial @walmart-the-official @realgoogleslides @realgoogledocs @yahooo-official @unfortunate-wattpad @firewaysubs @firefox-official @pinterest-real @spotify-kids-real @duothelingo @definitely-wikipedia @firehouse-subs-fr @google-2point0 @gimmick-thief

#BIRTHDAY PARTY #birth of party #party birth #YouTube kids is in for a treat #I’m not gonna like #IF I have time #IF #I will make a collaborative drawing of everyone and their roles #I think I will #but for now gotta focus on people claiming roles 👍👍 #March 27th #we have a good amount of time to do this >:D #LETS GO #//cackles in delight//

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

Assorted Batkid Headcanons

During the middle days of Damian being Dick’s Robin, he was still figuring out how to show affection in a nonviolent way, so he just kept getting Dick fish. His logic was ‘Grayson has issues taking care of himself, so I will get him a pet that even he will find easy to care for’.

As a result Dick has an entire tank of various fish, all named Jim after Jim Gordon.

Dick finds this hilarious. Babs finds this hilarious. She’ll casually mention something ‘Jim’ did in conversation with her dad and watch as he bluescreens.

Tim has the pallet of a five year old. All he likes are exceedingly sugary sweet foods everyone else wants to puke while eating.

As a result, all he drinks are those stupidly sugary energy drinks that leave you seeing god after a few minutes. Is this unhealthy? No, it’s a liquid, therefor water, therefor good - Tim Drake.

Duke has purposefully broken his wrist to see if he would light up like a glowstick before. It didn’t work.

Cass shows her affection through objects, so a Batkid will often walk into their residence to find something like a metal bottle cap or a feather neatly placed on their table, without any security triggered or any other indication anyone was ever here. They all know to treasure these, no matter what they are.

Jason, given he’s built like a tank, will often hold things out of reach from people just to Be An Asshole. He loves it.

Damian used the same method of affection on Steph when she was his Batgirl, but had a bit more faith in her ability to not let something die, so he kept getting her small rodents, like hamsters and rats. She named them all after characters from Supernatural.

Stephanie had a huge Supernatural phase when she was 13 and never really grew out of it. She’s tried out summoning rituals from the show before.

Every single Batkid had a Warriors phase. Every. Single. One.

Dick was SO FUCKING HAPPY when Duke showed up because he finally had a brother who would happily give him a hug without having a panic attack due to TouchFuckery.

Steph has referred to the Batfam as “Furry Touchfucked McNuggets” before. No one questions it because she’s right.

Babs has designated snacks for every occasion. Program Taking Too Long To Load is Cheetos. Bruce Being a Bitchass On the Comms is popcorn. Done With This Bullshit For Good, I Swear is Twix.

Tim’s Notes app on this phone is entirely filled with sleep deprived 4am rants about why Star Trek is the superior franchise. He’s very passionate about it.

One time Bart was bored so decided to raid the pantry and he found Damian crouched on one of the top shelves, hissing like a cat and clutching a box of Weetabix. He took a picture and now it’s the YJ discord group icon.

Not exactly Batfam but the YJ Core Four + Cissie have a discord group chat and Tim’s the mod.

Damian loves Weetabix. Idk if anyone else knows what that is but that shit was my fucking childhood so he loves it.

Duke has tried and is currently trying to unionize all the kid sidekicks. They’re getting there.

Jason’s favorite authors are Mary Shelley and Jane Austen. Pride and Prejudice is his comfort book that he often reads after patrolling as way to wind down. He fucking hates Edgar Allan Poe with a passion for reasons he refuses to explain.

Cass will sometimes teach some dance moves to little kids while on patrol. Sure, she knows it’s not stopping violence, but when she sees another little girl with scars on her palms and wary eyes light up as she twirls in the air and laugh as she leaps, she thinks it’s worth it. More than worth it.

Jason’s found her doing this sometimes. Neither of them say anything.

The Batkids all love Jon. Yeah, move over Damian, don’t keep him all to yourself. They may have their own supers/alien besties, but Jon is just adorable, and they all want to smoosh the cheeks of a kid who won’t attempt to stab them for it. Look, he’s so cute. The day anyone bullies Jon beware, because the entirety of Gotham’s vigilante force will be there to wreak havoc upon you.

#batfamily #batfam #dc #dc comics #dick grayson #barbara gordon #tim drake #jason todd #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #duke thomas #damian wayne #yj #jon kent #headcanons #weetabix #glowsticks #idek man #here we are ig #random bullshit #headcanon #batfam headcanons

[thedenofravenpuff]

Aaand more fun scenes from @theinfamousdoctorf's SAMS AU fic Eclipse Meets His Match, that I couldn't resist illustrating.

Eclipse figuring out how to exorcise the sex repulsed ghost of Old Moon by word vomiting all his dirty fantasies for Sun was just too hilarious. Run, Moon, run.

And of course gotta draw when Lord Eclipse and Servant Sun made their first lil cameo in the story!

Enjoy!

The Roan RPG Project ScreeCon Server on Discord Leave a Tip on Ko-Fi

#PuffBlog #MyArt #TheInfamousDoctorOrf #SAMS #SAMS AU #TSAMS #Shipping AU #Eclipse Meets His Match #Eclipse #Moon #Old Moon #Aro Ace #Ace #Sex Repulsed #Lord Eclipse #Lord Eclipse AU #Servant Sun #SunEclipse #TotalEclipse #Daily Doodle #Sketch #Traditional Art

[nightlight-stardust-and-rain]

So. Predatory species Obi-wan.

Mostly I just think it's funny to make him a predator bc if you take all the SW character and go "which one looks more likely to eat someone" Obi-Wan would definitely not be it. Not even top 20. He's much more likely to deliver a devastating burn with a flat tone lmao but anyway!

Specifically, Obi-wan being from a species who's pretty damn known for eating people. Like, it's not the only thing they can eat but a...... Something big happened a while ago and the galaxy never really forgot. Nowadays Stewjoni people don't really eat anyone but it's.... Mostly because they don't leave their planet. The predatory instincts are definitely here (Quinlan wears proof of that because once when they were teenagers he made the mistake of pissing obi-wan off and letting his finger wander a bit too close and long story short, Obi-wan bit him so hard he severed Quinlan's finger and they had to go to a healer really fast. Obi-wan felt super guilty for a while but Quinlan annoyed him into forgiving himself. Nowadays he's more embarassed that he lost control so bad. Quinlan thinks it was hilarious and that he definitely expected to get bitten but he didn't expect the result.)

Mostly the instincts are just Obi-wan really wanting to bite people when they're annoying and maybe wanting to chase people if they turn their back to him and run. Also headbutting people to show affection, which became a Whole Thing™ when he was on Mandalore. He doesn't really thinks about how people would taste until he's hungry and he's really good at controlling himself.

But basically this whole thing came from an idea I had with Alpha-17!

Basically it's like. Obi-wan being a predatory species is a bit of a secret bc like.... It's not like he'd be killed if people knew but Stewjoni still have a really bad reputation. So he doesn't like to talk about it. And people don't really know because he looks so mild-mannered and he smiles with his mouth closed so you can't see the teeth and he hides his hands in his sleeves because otherwise he picks at his skin which is not good when one has claws.

Okay so the clones don't know Obi-wan is from a predatory species. He's not hiding it, but when the clones see him headbutt Anakin like an affectionate Tooka they either go "maybe that's a nat-born thing" or "maybe that's a Jedi thing" or "makes sense, my batch mate like keldabe kisses too". Due to their childhood they have literally no idea of what is Normal Human Behavior so they don't notice that Obi-Wan isn't human.

Point is, Obi-wan and Alpha-17 get captured by Ventress and she tries to sow discord by being all "how can you trust a predator ? Unless you didn't know what he was? Then how can you trust something that hides what it is" basically she's just trying to get Alpha to distrust Obi-wan so he won't try to help him escape.

Obi-Wan's kind of expecting.... Not fear, exactly. Alpha-17 sort of doesn't do fear. But he's expecting some agressivity at least. Some wariness.

Except Alpha is just mostly outraged. How come Kenobi, who won't even kill a few annoying senators, gets the biological advantages that comes with being a predator?? That's so unfair. This idiot wouldn't even think about eating anyone. Alpha could use the biology way better! He would have loved to be able to eat a few kaminoans!! That's fucking unfair. How come his Jedi gets sharp fangs and he doesn't?? UN. FAIR.

Lmao yeah the whole plot is basically just Alpha-17 being offended that his pacifist of a general won the genetic lottery while he (who would have used the fangs as they're meant to be used!!) didn't. Boo.

(Obi-wan is wondering why Alpha-17 and Anakin don't get along better because they have startlingly similar reactions to learning about his species)

#Dripping stardust #obi wan kenobi #alpha 17 #star wars #Also Obi-wan bonding with Ahsoka about being predators and Anakin pouting in the background #He's literally the child of the Force! How come HE doesn't gets cool fangs or claws? >:(

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting a friend banned from Tumblr ? I(19nb) met a group of people through fandom (6 of us, adults) and we started talking on discord. It was fun and everyone was cool. We (privately) would send Fandom Takes on the discord and kind of make fun of how bad they were sometimes. It was pretty harmless, until one friend Summer(26f) (fake names) decided to fixate on a particular person named Brian in the fandom.

Brian was, I believe, about 13 or 14 years old at the time. They were a system blog (sorry I don't understand systems very well) and Brian was (or identified as?) a bunch of characters in this fandom from a lineage of ancestors that Summer liked. So I think Summer took it personally or something that this person mischaracterized them cuz they were her favorite characters?

Like I said, it started as harmless, privately posting some stuff that Brian had said and saying stuff like "me when I'm 13 years old" etc etc but Summer started to get an unhealthy fixation with this person and would start posting DAILY about Brian. I mean paragraph-long rants about this kid. It was getting out of hand so I started defending Brian even though I don't even know him cuz it started to sound really mean. But Summer would just kind of laugh it off and say "well its not like I'm saying this in public"

Summer also started to attack Brian personally about the whole 'system' thing, i don't really know anything about systems, and again, this kid is a total stranger, so idgaf, but Summer said that tiktok has totally bastardized what systems are and she's sick of kids thinking its an identity thing and stuff like that, since she works as a PSW in a psych ward and deals with people who have that disorder, I think this is also a big reason why Brian made her so mad, but again... Summer and Brian don't even know each other so it was getting uncomfortable, like it became so that nobody even posted in the Bad-Takes channel anymore bc Summer was just constantly posting personal stuff about Brian and it made us all feel weird about the channel altogether.

So this is where it starts to suck: Summer makes a sideblog, burnbook style, called something like We-Hate-Brian or Brian-Fucking-Sucks (cant remember the name) and starts literally copying Brian's text posts and parodying them and editing stuff into his icon photo and his art. She posts about this in our discord thinking its absolutely hilarious and I immediately start DMing everyone to mass report the blog (and her main) cuz I'm ashamed we even let it get this far.

So Summer gets banned from Tumblr, gets upset about it in the discord, and nobody really replies to her insane rant about it, she's totally convinced that somehow it was Brian himself. We all move to another discord to quietly ghost her and she messages us once in a while but I think what happened really soured everyone on her. Nobody has ever told Summer that it was us that got her banned, or why we did it. I feel kind of weird about it since we never told her and just collectively agreed to ghost her to avoid the inevitable drama. so AITA??

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[hotpinkboots]

Now this may be a little gross. Not in a like weird way (You know exactly what I’m talking about) but some gore. If you don’t want to do this ask I understand. ❤️

Now can we get Springtrap X Reader who is a complete wuss. Like they’re scared of bugs, hates being dirty, hates blood etc.

And Springtrap LOVES grossing them out and seeing their reaction. He finds it hilarious. Like just imagine this.

Y/N: *Screaming over a bug*

Springtrap: *Picks it up.*

Y/N: “Oh thank you so much Springy-“

Springtrap: *Eats bug.*

Y/N: “I- ewwww!”

Springtrap: *Smiles* “Now, want a kiss darling?”

Y/N: “NOOOOOO!”

Springtrap: *Starts chasing them around*

Can I also be your 💌 Anon?

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~𝔖𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔭 x Skittish!Reader Headcanons~

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WELCOME, 💌ANON :D

~Enjoy~

★★★★

𝔖𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔭

★★★★

~Oh you just KNOW he'd do this exact thing.

~Then afterwards he'd ask for a kiss.

~And he's got a bunch of bug guts and legs in his teeth.

~Or, he may just straight up stare at you from around the corner like a little creep to spook you further while there's a roach on the ground.

~Just to be a jerk y'know

~Hating blood is just something he gets a kick out of.

~He's...well. Him. So, blood is something he enjoys.

~He loves to see it splatter on the walls. He loves to hear it splat to the floor. He loves the crimson shade.

~So, naturally, he's going to think you're so cute for hating it.

~Springtrap is NOT your ideal if you hate getting dirty LOL HE'S DISGUSTING

~Going in for a big bunny hug? You're getting dirt and some form of mold slime all over you.

~Trying to kiss his cheek? Let's hope maggots don't get in your mouth.

~Luckily, he has to be cleaned up for people to legally come into the Fazbear's Fright attraction, otherwise the filth is a complete health hazard towards everybody around.

~While he's still old and dusty, Springs will at least get polished up a bit.

~Absolutely adores teasing you, grossing you out, and scaring you.

~He's so mean about it, and then he'll turn right around and comfort you with a hug

~But there's a 50/50 chance that he's holding something that'll scare you behind your back, so that when you turn around after the hug, there's some sort of jumpscare in your face.

~Of course, he'll be a soft bun later and will coo at you and give you pats on the head (the pats are a bit too rough, he just likes to see your hair ruffle).

~You're the only person in the entire world who likes him💀So he'll make it up to you later by being cuddly.

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Request Guidelines!

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Join my Discord Server! There you can talk about my fanfiction, roleplay, chat, watch movies and listen to music with other fandom nerds!:

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~Love, PinkBoots

#springtrap #i could relate to this ENTIRE request LMAO being dirty is horrendous and I. HATE. BUGS. 😭 #william afton #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #springtrap fnaf #springtrap five nights at freddys #fnaf x reader #springtrap x reader #pink's fanfic