#this is actually killing me i cant even listen to music in peace

[dosai-maavu]

Aditha Karikalan and Nandini

ok so like i just watched ps2 and OML the scene bw aditha and nandini actually destroyed me. i would literally pay to watch the movie again JUST to see their confrontation. the music, the visuals UGHH just everything was amazing.

so many people analyzing it from aditha's pov but let's look at it from nandini's view. she intentionally invited aditha to meet her. she's going to meet her childhood sweetheart, her first love who completely destroyed her life. she despises him. she hates him. she will kill him. she wants vengeance. not only for veerapandiyan, but for the royal life she was denied TWICE. both times because of the cholas.

but all thoughts of revenge go away once she sees him. because she doesn't see the blood-thirsty, war-hardened warrior who beheaded veerapandiyan without second thought. she doesn't see the carefree young prince who took her on horse rides all those years ago. she instead sees an anguished, tormented man, wracked with guilt. haunted by the horrors he's done.

nandini meant to show her superiority when she tells ravidasan he cannot possibly accomplish a task even she can't. but as she looks at aditha, she realizes that it's true. aditha won't let himself be killed by anyone else. only nandini can do it. in his eyes, dying by nandini's hands is his only way to redeem himself, at least in death.

how can she kill him now? her love for him, buried beneath her hate slowly springs back. she wants nothing more than to forgive aditha, accept his idea and run away, leave this conspiracy, this revenge and all this hatred in her heart behind. she wants playful games of hide-and-seek in the forest. she wants horseback rides by the banks of ponni at sunset. she wants the innocence and happiness of her childhood. because as much as she is HIS nandini, he his HER aditha. she doesn't know how not to love him.

but she's too far gone. it's not only about her anymore. the fate of a kingdom rests in her hands. she remembers her promise to veerapandiyan. she remembers how aditha refused to listen to her, even as she begged at his feet. she remembers how chola soldiers stormed into her house and forced her to flee. sembiyan maadevi's disapproval. kundavai's taunts. every injustice comes to the forefront of her mind and she is able to hate him again, for a fleeting moment.

she wishes she was stronger, because now aditha is pushing a dagger into her hands. she's close, so very close to her goal. barely a hair's breadth separated the dagger and aditha when she realizes she can't do it. she can't kill him. she CANNOT be the one to snuff out his life.

in the dark, aditha talks softly. no more yells, no more sarcasm, no more pleading. he speaks from his heart. he tells her that the man she loved died long ago. she starts to cry. she wants to yell that it's not true. the man she loved is here, right in front of her eyes, begging her to kill him. how can he ask that of her?

aditha embraces her. she's screaming now. because, this is all wrong. she cant do this. she cant. with whatever strength she has, she tries to stop the dagger from going in. but here again, she's weak. before she knows it, aditha goes limp in her arms. he stops breathing. he falls to the floor. nandini clings onto him desperately. she screams loudly, because surely aditha would hear her pain and come back. he doesn't.

someone drags her away. she's not sure who. she doesn't care. her hand remains outstretched. her fingers burn with the touch of his skin, his blood. as his face fades from her view, she catches a ghost of a smile on his face. a happy, satisfied smile. the one her aditha karikalan wore. he's finally at peace.

people die many times. nandini died again, for the last time.

#mani ratnam #aishwarya #aishwarya rai #tamil films #kollywood #nandini #aditha karikalan #aditya karikalan #ponniyin selvan 2 #ponniyin selvan #ps2 #tamil cinema #chiyaan vikram #mani ratnam coming for my sleep schedule #kalki coming for my sanity

[stewpid-soup]

I JUST WENT TO A REGINA SPEKTOR CONCERT LIKE-

I’ve listened to her before, minimally, but i feel like i was always doing something else without paying full attention. I enjoyed the beat of her music because it made my brain feel good. The words are good, obviously, but I don’t think I really listened.

Seeing her live? Holy shit. I’ve never felt so entranced by something. Like normally when I enjoy something I’m stimming a lot and super excited. Sure, I’ve been exhausted recently and in a lot of pain bc of my fibromyalgia. BUT, normally things I enjoy tend to take my mind off of things to the point where it feels like I have adrenaline distracting me from my actual tiredness.

Today, however, speaking was hard because I wanted to catch every second of the song. I was excited for the show, but I was worried since I didn’t know a lot of her music. It didn’t even matter if I knew the song, I was swaying and tapping along to the piano. I brought sound proof headphones to help with the crowd and lower the volume with the actual music but damn- I still heard every beautiful line. Her laugh was gorgeous and goofy but it made me feel like she was talking to me. She was so sweet and just had such a comforting aura.

Fuck man, I could keep going about every detail sbout the concert. And I don’t mean any of this in a creepy stalker way, just she’s such an amazing human being. I may not know her for the person behind the curtains, but she just seems so sweet and kind. Ffs, she went on a ramble about how she didn’t wanna kill a bug that landed on the piano. She sang a song in dedication for Ukraine and all their hardships and the hope for a peaceful resolution. Part of the money that her merch makes is going to a good charity (as far as i know) that supports Ukrainians one on one. It’s called like Ukraine-something-Jane? I don’t remember, but fuck. I’ve never felt so seen and appreciated by a stranger before, especially a popular artist I enjoy.

All in all, 10/10 experience. Especially for a first concert!! Definitely gonna listen to like- all of her music a billion times over to relive this.

(A little bummed I didn’t get to hear Two Birds but u win some u lose some /lh)

Small rant timeee (disability access, assholes, just frustrations)

so me, my mum, and my dad weren’t told that seats with wheelchair accessibility meant only ONE other person could be with you. it was so frustrating, and i didnt think i was gonna wanna cry within the first few minutes of my first concert. my dad had to stand in the like sections between seating that would get cleared occasionally for like 20-30 minutes before a lady told him he could sit with us until intermission was over. so he did, but them the concert started and no one told him to leave nor did anyone else who was going to take up the TWO empty seats beside us come. The dude talking to us was like “im sorry i cant let anyone else, only one person” and my mum was literally telling him “we had no idea, no one told me when i called in to ask abt accessibility seating” and just GGSSKHCHMXGNSJFDUR

anyways eating dinner <3

#regina spektor #concert #first concert #soup rambles #soupy thoughts

[my-lunaberg]

Yeah just to clarify, Im qatching the no way home vod now I'll probably make this a seperate post for the sake of keeping shit more organized

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Oh they are in prison my hearst beating so fast rn

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Oh dear god technical difficulties

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Bruh did they drag them to jail with fishing rods thats fucked

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Oughhhh the fucking armor thing aaaaaaaaaaaa

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Okay the real question is, does Dream want Tommy to die or does he still wanna keep him alive n shit

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I knowww wI definitely need another break but its already noon and I just gotta power through this shit man

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NOOOOOO ERYNS ARMOUR.........

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"You broke in and killed me in my owm house" idk why but thats so funny to me. dreams house, The Prison

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Dream smp got me rockin back and forth dude

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Bro did Tommy keep DreamXDs bell from the cell really

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Okay Tommys keeping his weapons, some pearls and his totems thats good

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Ah nvm

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NO WAIT THE DISCS ARE IN THE ENDERCHEST

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NOOOOO

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Oh this is so painful to watch man i feel like im gonna die

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Oughhhhh the discs.. ...... even aftrr all this time

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At this rate its gonna take me like 10 hours to watch this hour long stream man

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Okay he kept cat and mellohi

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OHHHHHH WHAZ THE FUCK WHAT THE FUKC

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Bro look att them just watch. sickos

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Oh yeah baey its monologuin time

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What if its just the snake monologue. like word for word

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Maybe thats just me but "I dont have anything to say to you" from Tommy followed by a long ass pause and then "I have a lot to say to you" from Drea has the same kinda vibes as "I dont think about you at all" from Wilburs fanfic

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"I hadnt bothered you for months!! I just left you with lifelong trauma!!"

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"Bro, I was too busy trying to ruin the lives of these other guys to even try gaslighting you again!!"

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Im trying to discern if Dream actually believes the bullshit hes saying or if this is another manipulation attempt rn this is so fascinating

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Oh boy philosophical discussion about death time

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Ok nvm i think

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Cmon white boi tell me about the meaning of life

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Dream is basically like "oh why does this stupid shit matter so much to you when theres immortality and life after death" and its like okay, but why would you wanna live forever if you cant even enjoy yourself though. Like, what are you doing this for if not so you can go hang out with your friends in peace and have fun forever

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Bro Dreams actually the kinda guy who goes "well, why shouldnt i be god" without a hint of irony

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Dream is about to actually lose it man

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Why are they all talking about death as though they have absolutely no idea what happens after you die permanently? Like, both Wilbur and Ghostbur talked about what limbo was like to anyone who listened and Dream was literally JUST dead. Like yeah, it was only for a few minutes but if the conversion is 1 day on the smp = 1 month in limbo then he mustve spent atleast a few hours if not days there right

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What are Punz' opinions about all this does he want his boytoy to be god. is he familiar with the god that looks exactly like his boytoy

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"while you were recovering from the lifelong trauma i gave you I was studying the meaning of life"

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I spent the entire day yesterday just watching musical bootlegs on youtube and all i can think of rn is that part in Twisted where Aladdin is like "im gonna break the chain! youll see!! Im gonna live forever!!!"

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Imagine pouring your fucking heart out about what you think ks the meaning of life to two teens that you kidnapped and one of them just goes "what kinda life is that" i would start crying

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"We want a life without mystery" where is your fucking whimsy bro

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You know, if Sam wasnt basically responsible for Dream being tortured and Dream didnt break him down as revenge, the two of them and Punz couldve been a real death defying power trio. And then i guess Tommy, Tubbo n Philza would be the death defyer-defying power trio

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what do you MEAN not contribute anything by just walking around on the dream smp??? HOW is the Dream SMP connected to any other place??? HOW IS IT CONNECTED TO FUCKING UTAH

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"We need to be alive together to find out what life is" youre never gonna know if you dont die though. Especially because like, theres no such thing as heaven in this world, its life and then you die and then its hell for eternity so you gotta make life heaven but the only way to truly appreviate and comprehend that the life youve made is heaven is to think about it in hell, if Im making sense here

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I would love to watch these guys try to have this discussion with Philza that would be soooo interesting

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HE CALLED HIM A BUG AGAINNNNNN

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the victim complex is strong in this one

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Ohhhhhh the bois are fightinggggggggg

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Hey, is Dream gonna address that fact that the actual capital g god of this world looks exactly like him any time soon. because that seems relevant

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Oh my god this kind of dehumanization of the people around him is so painfully relatable it hurts im in pain

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Bro how is he bringing up Ranboo right after bringing up Foolish but not yknow, DREAMXD

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Okay Im gonna b real with yall, Ive been having a pretty good time with this vod and this finale so far but now hes bringing up mind control and the stuff with Ranboo and Im not a fun uh uh absolutely not

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Alright so, they revealed that the revival book can do mind control as well, ive read spoilers about this and i was desperatrly hoping that I just misunderstood but sighhhhhhhh, no.

This is so fucking stupid man. The revival book was a really good concept because of how simple yet effective it is and how scary it would be for someone like Dream to have it, it doesnt need any more powers or whatever. Obviously the stuff with Ranboo being controlled by Dream to some extend has been planned for a really long time, and it does make sense, but they shouldve gone about it way differently. My fix is simple: bring DreamXD into this.

Like, right now it doesnt seem like Dream and DreamXD are connected in any meaningful way when Dream couldve been like, idk a worshipper of DreamXD who eventually earned his favor, or just a human that DreamXD thought was interesting and wanted to help occasionally so he'll keep entertaining him. Maybe he gets the revival book and immediately tries to test it out and then DreamXD appears and hes basically like "okay, i wont kill anyone for you or destroy anything or get too involved in all your petty mortal squabbles, but if you call for me I'll help you out bc Im so nice XD dont rely too much on me tho or else I'll kill you XD" and Dream is like "k i'll keep that in mind" and then when Ranboo shows up he calls for him like "okay, can you make me like, a mindlink to the new guy so I can control him" and XD is like "okay, sure, I wont help you anymore though" and Dream agrees and thats that. Maybe DreamXD is even like "Im still rooting for you though XD" and then Dream could bring up the fact that god is on his side during this unhinged monologue

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Okay, when hes saying 'other dimension' is he talking about limbo or is it like, the real world that has the Utah that Wilbur went to and everything

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Ohhhhhhh hes talking about the End uh yeah, no way man DreamXD is gonna put a stop to your foolishness so quickly if you try to go there

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HE WAS IN LIMBO BEFORE???

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Okay, the fact that both of them have been to limbo really takes a certain edge away from their motivations though

Like, if they hadnt known what death was like and just feared it because it was the End of Everything that wouldve been so interesting and then Dream died and came back to tell Punz about it and how its nothing but suffering that wouldve made it feel a lot more human if that makes sense because sure, i just spent a bunch of time poetically philosophically whinging but at the end of the day I wouldnt wanna die just to spent eternity in a hell made specifically for me yknow

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I slept 8 hours today so Im perfectly well rested as Im writing this but honestly, at this point I'd rather be sleep deprived and delirious itd make this go by way faster and make it more fun too

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Oh my god please tell me its not gonna get meta

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They were in the End?!??!? Bro are they gonna bring up DreamXD anytime soon

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Im serious how are they not gonna bring up DreamXD cc!Dream knows the lore around him because he PLAYED HIM

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Okay so I guess theyre just gonna sacrifice people to make up for them reviving each other over and over? Idk man this is barely comprehensible I feel like i might as well be delirious the only differenfe is im not having nearly as much fun rn

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what do you MEAN "whatever god is" YOU SAW HIM WITH YOUR OWN TWO EYES. HE GAVE YOU A BELL

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I realize that Dream is like, a villain and also clearly mentally ill so Im not expecting his plan or his worldview to make any actual sense but this just seems pointless. Like, if you revive too many people or if you revive yourselves too many times it could bring about the end of the world, presumably bc ya boi XD needs souls to eat. So you need to kill people to balance shit out but if you kill people, its gonna paint a massive target on your back and people will want to force you to revive people. So, you really cant revive people then right

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Oh good god what now

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Not the guy who was in limbo for maybe a day trying to lecture the guy who qas in limbo for like three months 💀💀💀

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If it wasnt for the fact that these guys just hit me with like three massive disappointments all in a row I'd say something like "oh i forgot about this but yeah, I am kinda curious as to why Tommy never came back as a ghost, like even Schlatt was there for a day atleast" but my spirit has been crushed and so all im hoping for is that the explaination isnt too stupid

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"We know the responsibility that comes with the revival book! Thats why we kept reviving people even after we knew it was slowly destroying the world!!" Its giving oil companies talking abt climate change yknow what i mean

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"The worlds fucked up, we fucked up" BRO. STOP FUCKING REVIVING PEOPLE IT CANT BE THAT HARD

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Okay, the stuff about limbo changing based on the circumstances of your death is pretty interesting hopefully they wont fuck it up

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Ohhhhh I think I can see where this is going one of these guys is gonna have to die for their buddy isnt he

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Okay, im at 27:51 in the vod Ive been at this for atleast two hours Im gonna go take a walk again

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Alrighty then time to watch these bozos torment these boys

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Bro the dehumanization right off the bat man

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Ah so this is that Drunz Sandwich Date ive heard so much about

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"You can warn the others about their inevitable doom that is... inevitable" he has such a way with words man

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Something something the definition of insanity

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Okay but Dream cant be all high and mighty about Tommy and Tubbo doing the same shit over and over because he literally does the exact same thing

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Aarhghggh pain and suffering

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cc!Tommy just left thats hilarious

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Noooooooo Tubbos still in rp mode this is so funny man

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Theyre both about to die with the lergy 😭

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OHHHHHHH HE STILL HAS THE DISCS HE CAN USE THOSE HOLY SHIT FUCKING SET UP AND PAYOFF BABEYYYYY

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ARGRHFHRGFGFREFSHUPEGUSGHI ONE DISC GONE 8NENDISCS GONE

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Okay now what. both of the discs are gone now and they didnt hit the pressure plate. I dont think that was planned.

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Oh I cant believe this this is so awkward man

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NO HE FAILED AGAIN BRUHHHHH

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Oh man

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Okay theyre just carrying on time to jump through the hole

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TUBBOS DEAD???

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okay i dont think that was planned either lmao why did they think this was a good idea to do on stream

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HES BLOWING SHIT UP????

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👁👁 project dreamcatcher??

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Right now the thing is, ive read spoilers so i roughly know how all of this is gonna end, I just dont know how we're getting from this exact point to that ending yknow what i mean

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Theyre gonna nuke them arent they

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NUKE HIM NUKE HIM NUKE HIM NUKE HIM NUKE HIM

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This is so upsetting man

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TUBBO WAS THE ONE WHO STOLE THE NUKE??? i mean, atleast they remembered that plotpoint

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YEAHHHHHHH SEND THOSE BASTARDS TO HELL BABEYYYYYYY

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Ohhhhh Tommys gonna use himself as bait

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The only way to destroy gods is to nuke them

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THEY DONT HAVE A SCHEDULE, THEYRE GODS

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Dude, the Dream SMP as a post post apocalyptic world though

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Lets fucking nuke that sonofabitch!!

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NUKE TIMEEEEEEEEE

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the bench,,......

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Okay so theyre gonna kill Dream and Punz and then everyone will be free from them and the revival book but like, what about their ghosts though. I mean, those presumably wont be able to revive anyone but they could still like, harass everyone n shit

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Okay but why would no one believe them about Punz being evil now, doesnt he have a reputation for doing whatever for a paycheck and Dream is like, one of the richest guys on the server

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Oughhhh watching Tommy tell Tubbo to tell everyone their stories is so painful when you know its all gonna become lost history at some point

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Theres no music..........

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Okay Im not gonna watch this again from Tubbos pov

#livebloggin dsmp #long post #c!dream #c!tommy #c!punz

[summersareknives]

hi ess <3

miss taylor: dancing with our hands tied, blank space, & treacherous <3

ty for the fic rec <3 i love texting fics sm i eat em up everytime. here's one for u, operation: toebeans by moonymoment (cute lil wolfstar fic, they fuck around with minnie and shes so tired of them)

chatting <3

id love to see a massive colonel sanders statue irl. it would definitely be significant enough for people to make pilgrimages to it & in fact i think id visit it myself.

fuck san francisco (im sure its lovely) i hate it there (it looks kinda cool tbh). sadly we've already broken best friend code cause she lives in a different city for uni 💔💔 havent seen that bitch since the beginning of january and im losing my mind. but its fine i think i get to see her this month🕺

ah yes the only two requirements to date someone: be hot and funny. (no but fr thats it. the bar is so low)

hozier <3333 (yes canadian money smells like maple syrup!!! just the notes though not the coins. i wish the coins were scented too)

now for the jesus/judas au..... i think peter simply has to be judas. but for jesus i wanna say james because judas revealed jesus' identity = peter revealing james & lily's location (although sirius as jesus would be funny too with his long jesus-like hair & the way he kinda came back to life via escaping azkaban)

american harry styles scares me fr.

fuck seagulls like actually. they always steal my food at the beach while im swimming and i cant swim back in time to stop them. theyre public enemies around these parts.

oh god. an eighteen year old dating a fourteen year old while he has another gf...... so fucking gross. (someone free both those girls rn. actual leonardo dicaprio behaviour)

i got anne carson's sappho fragments book for christmas & i was gonna go ahead and annotate it but now i feel like i should wait until i have someone to annotate it for. or maybe ill just annotate it and then i can give it to my person when they come along <3

ur def right im the opposite of final girl material but i am impulsive and stubborn so i will explore the church if its the last thing i do. (it will be the last thing i do cause im gonna end up getting myself killed)

six cans of monster can cure anything & i truly believe that. even a horrible hangover.

philosopher's stone>>>> sorcerer's stone sounds so bad anyways. im glad canada isnt quite dumb enough to get the sorcerer's stone treatment.

all of my halloween costumes are pretty lame tbh. i was a bee for my first bday (hence my nickname) but ive been a witch, vampire, zombie, ghost, etc. nothing special really

u should definitely tell harvard. theyd be too stunned to deny u entry its foolproof.

i loved blowing things up in chem. truly my only motivation to go to class.

using music apps based on our fav colours thats so real of us.

i may not have gotten wingstop but i did see florida (jumpscare)

joey in season one <3333

infinite bag of money thats a great idea how did i not think of that.

u will be banker one day. im manifesting this for u.

tumblr will forever be the superior social media idc. this website is untouchable.

oh god that guys a mummy's boy...... freud would absolutely lose his mind. a field day.

i understand u. like sometimes ur drunk self has a mind of its own and will do random shit. ive cut my hair drunk and woke up very confused but at least i managed to not botch it!!!

love in the dark is SUCH A JEGULUS SONGGG oh my god. adding to my jegulus playlist right this instant.

omg listening to music while looking at art>>>>>> perfection. makes u feel so peaceful and cool fr. (WENDYS!!! i love wendys so much.)

ur completely right id rather be having a horrible time with liv than be somewhere nice with someone i hate. doesnt matter what we're doing or whats happening it'll just be better if shes there.

i love that taylor likes 13 like yes girl me too. but 13 is actually a lucky number in italy so my family has always liked it!

oh god james and lily im so sorry......im just glad i wasnt born in 1981 or else id be highly suspicious that im the reincarnation of one of them.

american and canadian accents are super similar unless we're talking southern united states or far eastern canada. they literally sound irish over there no joke.

drarry <3 i just love the angst. so many possibilities for them.

jily & jegulus <33 ur right, jegulus for the fics (theres just SO many good ones) but jily for the ships theyre just so sweet.

after that guy i swore to never watch a movie for someone i like ever again. (also mainly because most of the time the movie is SO BAD!!!!) but yes its so cute when ur watching something with someone and they tell u all about it <333

we kinda did have a lot of paint lying around! it was mostly just lil kid art sets with crappy cheap markers and pencils but they were fun. if i was lucky i was allowed to use my parents fancy stuff.

it was genuinely so funny like i wish i couldve seen the sock fall from the audience's perspective i bet it was ridiculous.

literally ezra/aria. it was so gross but at least it wasnt real.

rude old people make me so mad like how have u lived so much of ur life and still carry so much hate in u......get a life old lady!!!!!!

hermione & harry <33

its true dramione fics are better. romione fics are usually just as bland as they are in canon. still cute tho.

tote bags!!!! love em. and omg a pride and prejudice tote thats so cool. i have one with constellations all over it i love it sm. (but also tote bags make my shoulders hurt so bad i swear im gonna get scoliosis one day)

wireless headphones till i die!!!!! how am i supposed to clean my room while watching netflix or something with wired headphones. how am i supposed to cook with wired headphones.

omg a 2! alexa play lover by taylor swift. (im a 5, apparently the investigators. i do love solving a good puzzle so ill take it)

red nail polish 4ever. looks good with anything i swear. my fav is a dark wine red and its just perfect.

wait thats so funny. it sounds straight out of an episode of friends or something. (glad everyones okay!!!!)

THATS SO CUTE!!!!! AHHHHH! top tier gift fr.

also a top tier gift. signed copies of ur fav books + unabridged podg + museums???? a flawless gift.

THE EMMA QUOTE OHHHH MY GOD!! i love that quote so fucking much. those are all so good. quotes that make u feel completely unzipped are the best always.

that poem is so good wtf. "i fear no fate (for you are my fate my sweet)" WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!! IM UNWELL.

i wanna visit the lake district so bad ohhh my god. it looks so nice. the air looks so crisp there.

the locket that is so cute im crying!!!!!! i have a pic of liv and i from when were like 3/4 grinning at each other and ive wanted to put it in a locket forever so u have inspired me thatll be her bday gift.

tigers are so cool thats an excellent choice. king of the jungle fr.

horror movies & romcoms thats so real of u. the duality of man. & horror movie adrenaline rushes are unlike anything i swear.

not picking between jily and jegulus REAL!!! theyre both so perfect.

answering qs!

im not allergic to anything! (that i know of. so far so good.)

i totally believe in fate, at least to the "everything happens for a reason" degree. i think people need to just live their lives and let things happen cause we cant control everything and it would be impossible to even try. if its meant to be then itll be.

i accidentally fucked up a really good friendship a while ago by not being there for someone when they needed it (to be fair we were both going THRU it so i didnt realize) but we both moved on & they had moved to a different school so we drifted apart eventually. shit happens but theyre happier now so thats good.

i wake up bright and early (its 12pm.) i gracefully get out of bed (i sit on my phone for half an hour before dragging myself out of bed) i go brush my teeth and do skincare (i do brush my teeth but i definitely dont feel like doing skincare) i go make a nice nutritious meal (i make a coffee and some toast if its a good day) i do a wakeup workout (i sit in bed and drink my coffee) i get dressed for the day (im not changing out of my pjs) i do my makeup (im not doing my makeup) i head to campus for my class (my class is online. i stay in bed.)

spiderman or thor!!! ive never read any of the comics so this is purely based on their movies but peter parker i love that man. and thor is a dumb idiot i love him.

i think id switch lives with either elon musk or jeff bezos so i can give away all their money to charity or to pay for important things that they can afford like solving world hunger. i think id also love to switch lives with timothee chalamet like what goes on in that boy's head hes so funny sometimes.

(like which pre-existing fic do i wish i was the author of?) i wish i had written just lovers by zar (also intermission by zar) just because that fic is a masterpiece and to be the author of such a work of art would be an honour.

i wish i had written the iliad and the odyssey cause it would be cool as fuck to be as iconic as homer. (also since homer mightve not actually existed id love to be that much of an enigma too. keep em guessing)

ive never been in love! ive liked people but it never gets past that. i guess im just waiting for the right person to come along. but also, in a way i think i fall in love with everyone i meet. some people are just so cool and ill carry that memory of them forever.

i dance and sing a lot when im drunk. i get loud in general but i will karaoke the shit out of whatever is playing. also i get giggly cause everything becomes funny for no reason.

the worst fight liv and i have had is so dumb, she called me telling me that she was having people over at her place for her bday. i said i wasnt sure if i could make it bc i had 4 papers due that same weekend but i would try bc i obviously wanted to be there for her bday. she called me back a bit later sobbing saying she wanted me to be there and that she was mad i might miss it, i started sobbing because i felt bad and because i was overwhelmed, i told her okay, id be there no matter what, she said okay. we hung up and then she called me back 10 mins later completely fine and we both apologized for the dramatics & everything was fine and i managed to write my 4 papers in time so i could go. (uni and exams were kicking both our asses & we both had a breakdown cause neither of us had slept in like 2 days at that point lmfao)

probably either stargazing and seeing sirius & regulus & that comet, or when i last saw liv in january - we got coffee and walked around a lake for like 3 hours and talked shit abt the bitchy people from high school. it was lovely.

jegulily yes! ive never read any jegulily but i wouldnt mind reading some at some point. again, james has two hands!!! plus i think their dynamic is so fun.

i actually dont watch a whole lot of romcoms so i had to look up which movies would be considered romcoms and from that search my favs that ive seen are: enchanted, easy A, mamma mia, & 10 things i hate about you!

i also dont watch a lot of horror movies but i was fucking OBSESSED with IT in 2017 like fully obsessed. my entire personality was from that goddamn movie.

qs for u!

piercings vs tattoos?

whats your fatal flaw?

if u were any emoji which would u be?

whats ur love language?

fav superhero?

fav fic of all time

fav disney/pixar movie?

whats ur preferred method of annotating books? (like do u add random commentary or do u add deep analysis & thoughts?

what do u think ur animagus would be?

fav aesthetic?

do u prefer to stay in to watch a movie or go to the theatres?

fav day of the week and why

whats your literary archetype? (fun lil quiz, i got the ruler)

thats all for now <3

-bee

bee my darling <333

(first apologies for replying late.I seem to have a knack with doing those kind of things. but now I'm on half-term break , exams are over, so I'm mostly a free bird !!!)

miss Taylor -

dancing with our hands tied - JEGULUS - 'I loved u in secret'. that's all. secret love is theirs , they own it . also also , this is so regulus's line - 'I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us'. HIM HIM HIMMMM.

blank space - all the women - I simply couldn't choose between them and since this song is very very female rage to me , I'll say all of them. especially Marlene , because if she's one to sleep around , you just know she was shamed for it.

treacherous - WOLFSTAR - I just really feel the vibe of sirius being like 'I'll follow you home' and remus thinking that the love he feels for sirius is treacherous !!!

chatting ----->

nah imagine being under that statue and you see boxes of free kfc just hanging around . colonel the redeemer would be gods child fr.

everything in the us looks either cool or dangerous. SHE BROKE THE BFF CODE. yta divorce immediately. lu lives like five minutes away from me and it's to and fro from there like everyday. I see him all the time and I haven't even thought about the possibility that one day I might not see him everyday. like that's not happening. peace to u bee , u brave for not tearing the fuck up.

nah fr where are my hot and funny little bitches/bastards. like bro come here and kiss me on the mouth and take me out and we can get married in like an hour.

hosier is bae baeeee. (that's so fucking cool. and I think the coins should so smell like maple syrup. it's fucking unjust that they don't. sue Trudeau.)

Peter = judas and James = Jesus (and I so see ur point with the sirius looking like Jesus parallel. like James (if he was alive) would've so made some jokes about that.

TALKING ABOUT HARRY STYLES - please tell me you saw him at the brit awards yesterday. please. I was in fucking tears when I saw. like broooo he mentioned Zayn??? my boy Zayn ???? my directioner heart is healing for real. (and lewis Capaldi is probably the only person in the world who can among to get the band back together. he has the power.)

I get chased by them whenever I'm at the beach and they've stolen chips from my fish and chips before and it's so fucking annoying like genuinely I wish they'd go fuck themselves.

no genuinely someone should arrest that guy. fucking hate him. piss bag.

ahhhhh annotate it and then buy a new copy for your person and annotate with shit like 'made me think of u' and everything I would cry my fucking eyes out if someone gave me that.

nah bee a nun gonna fly in and drop kick u in the face (now laughing at this image)

it did not cure my hangover ! it made it worse !!! and the worst part was that lu was also hungover so he couldn't work his magic with his hangover potion. and he also emptied his insides out (he threw up) and I was his sick nurse and made him soup and everything. (he was so out of it it was funny as fuck)

canada is smarter than the use for sure (free healthcare and gun control for one.)

bee as a bee oh my god that's so cute (and those costumes aren't lame they're classics)

fr Harvard is so calling.

blowing things up is so so fun. I used ethanol in class recently (there was a big boom) and it was very funnn.

yes pink and green stay winning always >>>

ew not florida ewwwwww.

joey is just bae. I love him so so much. (his funeral fit stays banging.)

I'm just smarter than u bee , let's face it.

update on the banking thing - he said no. he just doesn't like powerful women.

tumblr is so bae , like vanilla extract is so funny to me now

freud would love to dissect that boy fr.

cutting your hair drunk ??? and not botching it ??? you are the chosen one. I bow down to your brilliance.

THE MOST JEGULUS SONG TO EVER JEGULUS. yes yes u must add it. can't believe it wasn't already there in the first place.

it is so perfect. such a vibe honestly. (Wendy's slaps hard. but it wasn't square so I feel betrayed.)

bad times with your best friend so that ten years in the future you can look back and laugh on how stupid and dumb you were.

ahhh no my family has always considered 13 bad luck. but I don't believe it so 13 stays winning <333

can't tell the difference fr (Irish ??? never knew that that's fucking weird (in a good way))

DRARRRRRRYYYYYY the angst is unmatched. unmatched I tell you.

jegulus fics are so so so good I eat them up like soup. and jily is just - perfect. I love them. I love it so so much.

no because those kind of movies are so weird. it annoys me so much. (but watching stuff with someone who's obsessed with the thing you're watching ??? like whatttt. it's so sweet. eg Lu's fucking obsessed with sports and shit and he knows I'm just not - so he always always explains shit to me like when to cheer which team we support and everything.)

I would feel so proud if it was me and I was allowed to use the fancy paints. like so so important and everything I would love it so so much.

I can imagine it now. sock falling in slow motion.

yes thank fuck for that.

get a life of their own frrrr. high time considering their lives are just about to end.

herm and harry are my darlings honestlyyy

yes yes romione is so cute and awesome but I don't personally like fics about them fr.

OH MY GOD A CONSTELLATION TOTE ???? honestly you're so fucking awesome it's fucking coooolllll.

WIRELESS HEADPHONES 5ever fr fr. could never deal with the wires when I'm doing stuff.

LOVVVVERRRRR. ( a 5 ??? that's awesome !!!)

mine's that kind of red or a classic bright red. love them classics and everything I love it <33

it really really really was. (we're all good but we have matching scars now ! hey - tattoos right there ???)

no I loved it so so much I love it so fucking much it's cool as fuck. prize present <33

I'm literally the best friend ever he should bow down to me and my excellence. (no but I just got him all his favourite things and bro got super emotional and everything. )

YES I FEEL SO UNZIPPED WHEN I READ THAT SHIT I FUCKING LOVE IT SOOTHES ME. those kind of confession quotes will always be so dear to me.

YES YES U GET IT. favourite poem ever <33

the air is super crisp and everything feels mega real up there. like I am hyper-aware of the fact that I exist.

yes yes a locket like that is so so cute. she will keep it close to her heart trust <333

YES TIGERS. GO TIGERS.

horror movies & romcoms have my whole heart. rom-coms come first , but horror movies are a close second. (and horror-coms are lovely too !!!)

jily and jegulus are amazing. top-tier always.

reviewing your q's -

god bless u and ur immune system. the chosen 1 fr.

fate fate fate. I believe in destiny and fate and I love it because I really truly believe that I could bump into someone and fall in love. like it could so so happen. It will happen. manifesting the fuck out of it.

friendship break ups make me so so sad. like damn you don't want me anymore???? sad as fuck. (glad you both are doing good now !!!!)

WHAT A FUCING MOOD. same though. I think it's something in the air when I'm getting ready for school. like I get ten times more slugger in the morning I'm getting up for school like I really curse the fuck out of everyone and their mothers.i do it so often.

Peter Parker always <33333. I love them so so so much.(tom and toby and ANDREWWWWW)

(yes yes that's what I meant !!!) I so so need to fucking read it I swear I'll do it. I'm going to do it as soon as I have time honest.

homer is iconic you're so right. keep them guessing always and forever for reals.

I fall in love every time I look in the mirror. no but if we're being honest - me neither. I feel like it's coming though. I love love and I want to be in love too. (meeting the best people and carrying the memory of them forever >>>)

NO HONESTLY. man wearing hat ???? funny as fuckkkk.

not being able to go places because you have exams is so so so fucking annoying. like exams can go to hell (she cried for u ??? that's so sad and honest and sweet honestly best friend GOALS.)

talking shit about bitchy people with your best friend >>>> especially because it's always the darnedest things too and the best friends we have would never expect it and it's always so funny to shock them.

I honestly don't really mind jegulily. I think it's fun , and I might read a couple fics here and there but they'll never be my OTP. I love them , but jegulus and jily stay winning alwayssss.

'I hate the way I don't hate u. not even a little bit , not even at all.' my heartttt. and also Cameron is amazing and needs to be appreciated more.

q's -

now I love piercings (want at least 3 in each ear) but tattoos because to me they can hold much more meaning than a piercing. like it would be amazing and they just .... do stuff piercings can't. piercings still slap though.

loyalty to the people I love. like I've said this before , but I'd absolutely go feral if anything untoward happened to the people I love. i would genuinely fuck the aggressor up. like I genuinely feel like I saw a ten foot tall hunky muscle guy slap lu once , and I was there , I'd get so mad I'm pretty sure my sheer anger would scare him the fuck away. but I'd do it even if they were wrong. like if he says the sky is purple in front of people he doesn't like , then the sky is mf purple until we get home then I ask him what the fuck is going on.

the raising a single eyebrow one. I'm always making that facial expression. (I used to hang out with some pretty sus people and the things they used to say ..... shiver.) and of course the love heart ( where is my pink love heart , apple ?????? where is it ????) simply because I am a hopeless romantic.

acts of service !!! I will always do something like that for someone I love. like you need the groceries ??? not a single word more I'm going rn. also also love love giving gifts. like I really think them out .

SPIDERMANNNN. I love all 3 of them so so much I love the fuck out of them they're my favourites always always.

oh my god I couldn't possibly. but I could. (for each ship I have 1 or 2)

drarry - mental , temptation on the warfront.

jegulus - absentmindedly making me want you

dramione - wait & hope , isolation

wolfstar - of memories and milk thievery , lessen my load

nottpott (harry x theo nott) - rendevouz receipts , lethal combination

btw lethal combination is by the same author as the one who wrote the atlas six !!!! I love it so so much !!1 (nottpott is a guilty pleasure ship)

7. my favourite Disney movie is tangled always always <33333 unmatched. Pixar - UP (I fucking love it. it made me cry so so hard, I love it so so much)

8.i do both. like I have clear post-its , and sometimes I jot my notes down there , other times I have annotated the fuck out of them on the pages. in my copy of Gatsby , I have the word 'gay' written next to a lot of the times nick talks about Gatsby (maybe I'm biased but he was so in love with Gatsby.)

9.i'd love to be a black cat. mostly because I hate how they're said to be bad luck. like they're so sweet and cute and I just love them always. they're amazing. (plus being lazy and thinking they're better than everyone ??? so me honestly.)

10. dark academia !!! I so so so wanna live like that like it's the dream I love it so much. everything about it. the outfits , the scene , the vibes , the feel , the feeling that if I fall in love with someone , it'd kill me to be without them. I just LOVE it.

11. cinemas !!!! I love cinemas so much the vibes , the popcorn , the snacks I've snuck in , the way people clap when famous actors come onto screen >>>>

12. friday !!! end of the week , game night , no alarm to wake upto the next day . Friday has it all always. very dear and near to me <333

13.the lover !!!! no one was surprised by this honestly. it's very literally me. I am very much an idealist always looking for love wherever I can find it !!!

q's for uuuu -

which 1d member is your fave ?

top 5 Taylor songs ?

top Shakespeare quote ?

fave Shakespeare play ?

fave modern family character ?

style vs ootw?

cruel summer vs dress ?

fave tay tay lyric ?

controversial opinion you have ?

famous person you hate (not an obvious one like Kanye or John Mayer we all hate them they don't count) ?

sickest burn you've ever given ?

sickest burn you've ever got ?

moment when you wanted to slap liv's face the fuck off ?

moment you've been horrendously jealous ?

(beee beee beee I love u tonnes. sorry I've been so bad with replying. I'm so going back to normal after this I pinky promise. come back soon <3333333 I missed u!!!)

#ess waters a plant #bee <33 #ess's marauders x ts crossover

[sirensandcondolences]

the devil is sus⁉️

#this is actually killing me i cant even listen to music in peace #slipknot #the hol[ ]y tape...

[bbuckysarm]

Please don’t make me the joke G.W

Pairing:   George x reader 

Plot: George askes y/n to go to Hogsmeade with him, y/n assumes its a joke.  

Word count: 1.4k

I walked into my least favorite class of the day, Muggle Music, and threw myself in my chair. I had chosen this class because being muggle born I figured that I would already know all the songs. I thought I was going to be analyzing like taylor swift songs and jamming out during class when in actuality, I’m studying how Mozart used the art of Pathos.

I felt a peace of parchment hit the top pf my head then fall to the floor. I began to pick it up  as I felt another one hit the back of my chair, then another, and another, and another. I turned around to see two redheads, one with a smile as big as the crescent moon. The other, whose face was almost as red as his hair was smiling soft but avoiding eye contact with me. I recognized them as Ron’s older siblings, Fred and George. Everyone knows that they are trouble makers. I always try to just stay under all the class clowns radars so I don’t sign up for any unwanted public attention. I’ve only briefly spoken to the twins when they needed homework answers, hoping that they would leave me alone in return.  The twin with the red face was still holding another piece of parchment paper. I stared at him in the eyes as he avoided mine, daring him to throw it. He moved his hand bellow his desk and rolled the final peace of paper to me. 

I felt a wave of rage wash over me my face turning a shave of pink it had not been before, the way the twin still threw the paper after they had already had their laugh made me feel laughed at. I looked down at the final ball of paper and saw something scribbled. They were notes, to embarrassed to read them in front of the twins I shoved them all under my desk, pretending to be uninterested. 

Class went on for another half an hour and I could hear whispers coming from the table behind me. I was not sure if the twins were talking about me, but considering what had happened earlier in class I assumed they where, causing me a lot of anxiety. My ears felt red hot and my eyes felt warm trying to try to listen in on what they were saying. 

The class was released but I stayed in my seet, pretending I was picking up my stuff. I watched everyone leave out of the corner of my eye including the confident looking twin. The last person to leave was the second twinge walked past my desk before walking towards the door. My heart began to beat faster and my beards again felt white hot. 

“I’m sorry for distracting you during class, it was mostly Fred.” The twin said shily. No sound came out of my mouth when I opened it to respond, unsure of what to say. He shuffled away towards the door but looked back one final time to smile before he left. I returned the smile as he walked out of the classroom. Quickly I bent down and picked up the five notes and shoved them in my bag, making my way to the hufflepuff common room. 

The hufflepuff common room is my favorite place inside of hogwarts, not to mention the beautiful outdoor views. It always felt safe in the common room. It’s the only common room in hogwarts that has a defensive spell so no other house can get in. I ran into the room and found a comfy chair to sit in as I find the courage to read these letters. 

“George wants to know if you will go to Hogsmeade with him,”  The first letter said, I quickly looked up in paranoia making sure I'm the only one to read the letter. 

“Ignore that,”  The second one, I assume is from George, says. My eyes feel warm as tears weld up in them. I begin to feel more embarrassed, the shame pilling on. Why did the twins have to make you the butt of their joke. 

“Sorry George is a little shy he won't ask you himself,”   The third letter said as I let it fall through my hands beginning to let the tears fall. 

“Fred is being an ass im sorry,” The fourth one said. It was all a joke. Just something fred weasley did to kill time in a class he didn’t want to be in. I know it shouldn’t matter because it's not like I have a crush on him or anything but it jets hurts to be laughed at. I always assumed that the weasley twins where better than this, I assumed they laughed with people not at them, unless they deserved it. 

“If you did want to go to hogsmeade together this weekend I think it would be fun. - George,” the last note said. 

I threw myself into a fit of rage, being laughed at is something that cayuses me a lot of insecurity and I needed to let them know they just can't mess with me like that. I got my parchment and feather out and begin writing. 

“Dear Fred and George,

I’m very happy that you guys have found something to do during class that is not interrupting the entire class, unfortunately your knee hobby is distracting me. Shouldn’t seventh years have more things to worry about than a quiet fifth year trying to pay attention in  music class. I always assumed we had a good deal going, you let me exist in peace and I gave you homework answers. Please, please just leave me be. I don’t want to be the butt of the joke.”

I stood up with tears in my eyes as I rush out of the common room, some of my friends trying to stop me with a worried face. I ignored them as I walked past. Tears blurred my vision and I continued heading towards the gryffindor common room. I ran into someone and quickly dropped the letter marked to the twins. 

“Y/N? Why are you writing a letters to my brothers?”  One of my acquaintances Ron said. 

“Because I’m going to kill them.” I said a matter of factly as Hermione help me up and I yanked the letter from Ron's hand. I’m sure he decided against continuing any questions when he saw the tears pouring from my face. 

I ran up to their common room, this was may chance. My chance to make them the joke and not me. I wanted to let them know that they cant treat me like another one of their little jokes, i'm not just a puppet for them to entertain themselves with, like everyone else in this school. 

I opened the door and quickly saw the twins sitting on a chair in the back selling tricks to the year ones. I had collected myself outside the door but as soon as I see George look up at me and smile i begin crying again. “Your just the butt of their joke.” I repeated in my head as tears began to fall again. I decided to hand the letter go george and walk out immediately, barely even making eye contact with Fred. 

I left the school building and decided to go for a walk to clear my head. As I was sitting buy the lake reading a book I had found in the library I heard someone yell from a few yards away. 

“Hey y/n, do you think we can talk?” I turned and saw that It was coming from one of the twins, I was not sure which one. 

My classmate sat next to me, “I’m George.” He said. 

“I know,” I said as I looked down, even if I didn’t.

“Will you go to hogsmeade with me this weekend?” George said.

I let out a small chuckle, “Am I still a joke Weasley?” 

My heart beat fast as tears welled up for the thousandth time that day. George put his hand on my cheek to wipe away the tears, “Y/N you know it was never a joke, you where never a joke.”  He laughed contradicting himself. “You and me have a good thing going here, I copy your homework and I leave you alone.”  He said shoving my shoulder with his. 

“Your not doing so well on your side of the agreement Weasley,” I said smiling. 

“I think its time we renew the terms of our agreement Y/N,” he said jumping up from the seet and holding out his hand for me, “Lets discuss this over a butter beer this weekend at hogsmeade, please Y/N.” 

I laughed then smiled, “That actually sounds pleasant George, I’ll see you this weekend.”

#one shot #harry potter #fred weasly #george weasly x reader #george weasly #hogsmade #hufflepuff #imagine #george weasly imagines #george weasly imagne #weasley #weasley wizard wheezes #order of the phoenix #fluff #george weasly fluff #george weaslwy angst #george weasley angst

[aestheticallyunaesthetic17]

100 questions and answers

Who is your hero? Probably future me, i want to be able to grow up and be the better person that i hope they are, and the only way of knowing that is by making it happen.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? New Zealand, Canada or USA. I lived in TX for 3 months and loved it there and I have family in NZ and Canada.

What is your biggest fear? Wasps, 100%. Not being stung but the way they look scares me.

What is your favorite family vacation? When we went to Krakow in Poland.

What would you change about yourself if you could? My skin color. I hate it so much.

What really makes you angry? People hating others or stopping others from being themselves.

What motivates you to work hard? To make future me happier than I am now.

What is your favorite thing about your career? I want to be in cabin crew, so probably the traveling.

What is your biggest complaint about your job? Being away from family.

What is your proudest accomplishment? Getting through the shit 2020 brought me without killing myself.

What is your child's proudest accomplishment? No kids rn.

What is your favorite book to read? Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman

What makes you laugh the most? My boyfriend.

What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Freaks. I was a bad movie, a little like the scary movies franchise. My friend was scared at parts which was super funny to watch

What did you want to be when you were small? An actor. Typical Leo ;)

What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? They can be anything they want to be.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Visit Edinburgh alone.

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? To watch, American Football. To play, archery.

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Drive a car, it's peaceful and warm. I would blast music.

What would you sing at Karaoke night? no idea.

What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? Heart and Capital

Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Dishes or vacuum.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Yard work!!!

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Tandoori Prawn curry.

Who is your favorite author? Jacqueline Wilson or JK Rowling (only her books, not her)

Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? Just Em. But id like to be called Millie.

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Depends on the surprise tbh, I like to plan a lot.

In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? Watch a movie.

Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. I was meant to go this year but covid and leaving the US fucked it up.

Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Work the perfect job, id get bored sitting around all day.

Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? my boyfriend.

If money was no object, what would you do all day? Travel and see the world.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 2012. To see my Nana again.

How would your friends describe you? Stupid.

What are your hobbies? Traveling, photography, music and shopping.

What is the best gift you have been given? Forgiveness from myself.

What is the worst gift you have received? Sixe XXL jacket when im an XS

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My macbook.

List two pet peeves. - Breaking trust - Bad table manners

Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully working my dream job, maybe moved to a different country and traveling the world.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? too many, roughly 16

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? Invisibility or teleportation.

What would you do if you won the lottery? build my own house

What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) Train, its so relaxing. Then planes.

What's your favorite zoo animal? Lions or tigers.

If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? My time in America.

If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? - My nana - my bf - Princess Diana - Obama

How many pillows do you sleep with? 4, two on each side.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? 26 hours, traveling to Texarkana from Edinburgh.

What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? Idk tbh

Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? looks for intelligence because then you can earn enough for plastic surgery.

How often do you buy clothes? 1/2 a month

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Idk I guess so.

What's your favorite holiday? Summer vacation Christmas for an actual holiday

What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Moved half way across the world and lived with strangers.

What was the last thing you recorded on TV? Nothing

What was the last book you read? 1984

What's your favorite type of foreign food? Indian

Are you a clean or messy person? Both, but relatively clean

Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Millie Bobbie Brown probably

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 1 hour

What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Kettle

What's your favorite fast food chain? Chick fil A (i know, i cant buy it now tho)

What's your favorite family recipe? Nana's bacon and egg pie

Do you love or hate rollercoasters? LOVE

What's your favorite family tradition? Opening gifts on Christmas Eve

What is your favorite childhood memory? I dunno really, Ive forgotten a lot of my childhood.

What's your favorite movie? Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Beautiful Boy

How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Probably 7/8 but I dont remember.

Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty.

What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Said i'd come back one day.

What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? A boat and food. Yes i am that person.

What was your favorite subject in school? Scottish school, geography. US school, government.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Haggis

Do you collect anything? Foreign coins

Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? Skinny jeans, my ass looks gooood in them

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert that likes being sociable

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? hearing

Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) nope

Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? my dad is well know in the whisky business. Has his own prime tv show

What do you do to keep fit? Walk a lot and swim.

Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken? nope

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce? everyone is equal.

Who was your favorite teacher in school and why? Scottish School, my geo teacher. US school, my english teacher.

What three things do you think of the most each day? My bf, my mum and America

If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Sad, angry and anxious

What song would you say best sums you up? 17 again

What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland

Who was your first crush? a boy called Finlay who i rode the bus with

What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window? sheep or cows very often

On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 5

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? kids, married, settled down and happy. moved countries 100%

What was your first job? never had one

If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? 5sos

How many languages do you speak? 1 - english

What is your favorite family holiday tradition? opening gifts on Christmas Eve

Who is the most intelligent person you know? my mum

If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? a cat probably or a tiger

What is one thing you will never do again? trust people fully

Who knows you the best? my bf.

#100 things about me #questions #100 questions

[hitsuackerman]

Unpredictable (Overhaul x Reader) pt.25

a/n: Eyo :) we’re now entering the Shie Hassaikai Arc :]

warnings: this cannot be read solo

Links: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 21, part 22, part 22, part 23, part 23.5, part 24

Masterlist to my other fics: here :)

Overhaul’s waiting list: @jjk-biased @infinite-universe-love @dirtypride @blackymomo03 @azzie @purple-rabanito​ @meximorrita @awesomeee19​​ @celestial-kanzakii​ @laure-lo​ @team-wang-puppy​ @aydience-world​ @choros-main-hoe​ @colorseeingchick​ @o-dragon05 @but-kairis-not-that-smart (i cant seem to tag again :( hope this lands in your timelines!)

“Please excuse us.” Deku and Mirio said as they took off their shoes and entered your apartment. The two boys had taken it upon themselves to hand over the document Sir Nighteye had been meaning to give you.

“Make yourselves at home.” You led them to the living room. Whatever remnants of Overhaul’s scent or belongings were long gone by now. True to his word, he left right after breakfast but not without burning toast and eggs for breakfast. He looked pissed as fuck but the picture on your phone was well worth the exploding sofa. “Also, no need to take off your shoes.”

“Thank you so much, (l/n)-san!” Deku said as they took a seat and took in the decoration. Taking note of how many rooms and how clean the place was, he couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel like to support himself.

“I wasn’t able to restock my fridge.” You placed two cans of soda in front of them. Both their eyes sparkling at the free drink. “This is all I can offer for now~”

“This is more than enough, (l/n)-san!” Mirio cheered as he opened the can of soda and chugged it. “Oh! Here’s the files that Sir Nighteye wanted to give you. He also wishes you a speedy recovery. Oh, and he wants to know if you’re fit to attend the heroes meeting the day after tomorrow.”

Accepting the files, you placed the folder beside you and answered the other questions he had thrown. Satisfied with your answer, the boy laughed and tried to say a punchline.

“You sure do have a sense of humor, Lemillion.” Looking at your bedroom door, you couldn’t help but snicker at the thought of Overhaul’s jacket resting on his side of the bed. Hmm, his side of the bed was a strong word and one you were sure you wouldn’t be able to use again. “How’s school, you two?”

“It’s fine. We’re just focusing now on our internships but the others are still attending school.” Deku answered.

“Ah, by the way, are you feeling much better now?” Mirio chimed in. “You seem to be alone.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You shrugged and touched the spot of the closed bullet hole. “Things didn’t exactly turn out as planned but there’s still next time~”

“We received news that Overhaul ended up killing a suspect?”

“Hm? Well, yes he did.” You almost forgot about that. “We still caught one so I guess it isn’t all that bad.”

“How did you get used to your work, (l/n)-san?” Deku inquired.

“I can’t say I’m used to it. I still get chills every now and then but as long as things turn out for the better, it makes it worthwhile. Besides, the injuries we get are nothing compared to what heroes get. We’re merely support.” You smirked. “Pawns for the bigger pieces, if I may say so myself.”

“Hahaha! You say that like heroes aren’t all that, (l/n)-san!” Mirio laughed and held on to his stomach.

“I never implied that.” You looked at the view of your window and back at them. Not holding it back, you sighed. “Listen. Everyone wants to be a hero, I get it. But when life hits you, sometimes ya gotta do what you have to do. My field of work requires me to make a constant string of decisions. I’ve worked for heroes who have red marks on their files. Some even with questionable motives. But it’s also important to take note of those who were not seen in their times of need.”

“Isn’t that a little harsh?”

“Barely. The glitz and glamour of being a hero are blinding to those aspiring one’s. Same goes for those who aren’t on the heroes side.” You stood up and the two boy’s followed. “Don’t take this the wrong way kids. Not everyone can be saved. Now, I’m not telling you guys to stop chasing your dreams or shit. I just want you to be aware that the world is unfair. Now go to do your patrols.”

The moment they bid farewell and your locks clicked, you went back to the living room and sat down. Fingers slowly touching the fabric. Every single crease, fold, and dip your sofa had. Finding nothing, you painstakingly began to check each room and vase your unit had to offer. Seeing as things were clear, you decided a small trip to the third floor was necessary.

Grabbing your phone, you went to your bedroom and opened the window. Dialing a number, you waited for the other person to pick up.

“Hurry. I don’t have much time.”

“Chrono. Did you destroy the tracker?”

“I did. 2 days ago.” He paused and lowered his voice. “Why?”

“Nothing. How did you dispose of it?”

“Used some equipment we have here.”

“Thanks. Go do your shit.” Hearing a chuckle, you ended the call and closed the windows.

It didn’t take too long but now you were inside the elevator. The faint sound of elevator music keeping you company as the buttons lit up. Once you arrived on the third floor, you walked down the hallway and took a detour to one of the off limit doors.

Knocking 5 times, the door opened.

“Why hello to you, (y/n)~”

“Same goes for you, Roshi-san~” You tilted your head and gave him a peace sign. “Busy?”

“Not at all. Come in, come in! Shall I prepare your throne, princess?”

“And rid you of yours? I just wanna check something.” Taking a Y1000 from your pocket, Roshi took it with a wink and stuffed it into his.

Watching his fingers tapping on the keyboard, a window popped up indicating that a bunch of videos were being transported into a folder. As that was happening, he took a flash drive and connected it. With a few more taps and clicks, he turned around and faced you.

“Paranoid, princess?”

“Not much. Just have to make sure, you know?”

“This about Overhaul?” The bluish twinkle in his eyes made you laugh. “Bingo~ Don’t worry boo, I’ve deleted and looped each and every footage that showed him he even entered within a 100m radius.”

“Remind me why you prefer to work here and not back at the house?”

Roshi Matsui. One of your father’s most trusted members. It had been a few years since he decided to leave the compound and take up a job that made use of his quirk. Though admittedly, he was also one of the reasons why your father chose the apartment building. He felt safe enough to entrust his only daughter to this member.

“I get bored easily.” Facing the screen once more, he tapped away and ejected the flash drive. “Everything you need is in here, princess. You’re in for a wild ride.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

“Shall I continue with your request?”

“Yes, please.”

“Alright~ Have a great day~ OH send my kisses to Geiby-boo.” Right. You keep forgetting that these two were related. Cousins. Giving him the response he wanted, he stood up to open the doors for you. Just as you were about to step outside, Roshi grabbed your arm and smirked. “Not that I care what you do, (n/n)... be sure to check your doors. Aight?”

“I will~”

With hurried steps, you reached the elevator and clicked on your floor. Roshi usually kept an eye on your floor but it was never really needed before. That sudden warning was nothing but bad news as each button lit up. Using your quirk to calm yourself, you stepped out and made your way to your room.

Taking your keys from your pocket, it slipped and jingled its way to the floor. Kneeling to pick it up, you examined the corner pads, sweep, and sill. Seeing nothing, you grabbed your keys and stretched. Eyes scanning the header and the jam. It was still clear of any shiny objects.

Not satisfied with the results, you entered your room and locked your door. Inspecting it from within was much less confining. Yet, there were no indications that your place had been bugged.

“Unless…” Of all the things you barely checked, it would have to be the peephole. “Ah shit.”

True enough, the peephole was blocked and you were met with a tiny lens that seemed to be adjusting its aperture. Heading to where you kept your toolbox, you uttered a string of curses. The want to watch the CCTV footage grew stronger but first things first.

It took awhile but you got the job done. Careful that the small camera wasn’t damaged, you managed to pull it out. The tiny dot of green light indicated that it was still recording. Covering the new whole with some electrical tape, you went to the kitchen and reached for two bowls. Caging the device with the two bowls, you placed it in the fridge to ensure you were safe.

Now in your bedroom, you dialled his number.

“What is it, (y/n)?”

“I don’t like being bugged, Chisaki.”

“And why would I do that? You already pester me with phone AND video calls. I see no need to do that.” There was a pause in the line. “Though, I would be a hypocrite if I wouldn’t admit to the thought of actually doing it.”

“I don’t like liars.”

“Would I ever lie to you?” There was a teasing tone to his voice.

“You might~ I can never guess you right.” If it wasn’t him then who would? “That’s all for now, birdman. W-will you call me later?”

“If my schedule permits it, then I shall.”

“Such a tease…”

“I can do more than teasing, (y/n).”

“Oh shut it.” Ending the call, you resisted the urge to squeal.

Rubbing your face, you groaned and sunk into the sofa, your body feeling tired after all the moving you had done today. Perhaps you weren’t fully healed yet. Dialing another number, you waited for the other person to pick up.

“Nao?”

“Ah. (y/n). You okay now?”

“Not fully but I can head to work tomorrow. Are things alright there? How’s the report for the raid?”

“It’s still in the drafts but it shouldn’t be too hard for you to pick up.”

“Email it to me. I can start working on it now.”

“Sure.” He paused. “How’re things with Rusai?”

“Who?”

“Your caretaker?”

Oh. He was given an alias. Something you didn’t know. Then again, you didn’t bother as to how he even became your ‘legal guardian’ during those tiring times.

“Things were rather interesting to be honest. A bit of a rough 20 minutes when I woke up but other than that, things improved significantly~” You stared at the entryway and bit your tongue. “Deku and Mirio dropped by but he left earlier than planned.”

“Deku and Mirio? Isn’t that…”

“I know. I took care of it. Though, I have a feeling something’s about to happen again.”

“Be careful, (n/n).”

“I will~ Now go do your thing~”

Reaching for your laptop, you unlocked and connected the flash drive. Waiting a few seconds, you opened the folder and grabbed a pillow. Clicking on the first video, upped the speed and began to watch as to who could have possibly planted that bug on your door.

As the hours ticked by and your legs falling asleep alternatively, you took a glance at your windows and realized that the sun was now setting. Stretching your entire body, you could feel the tension being released. Pausing the current video, you groaned and layed down on the sofa. Hair splaying everywhere.

Roshi was right.

It really was indeed a wild ride.

- - - - -

if any of you guys want :) feel free to follow me on twitter for updates regarding this story or my thought process during the making :)

@vicart_ph

#overhaul x reader #chisaki kai x reader #overhaul #chisaki kai #bnha overhaul #mha overhaul #bnha chisaki kai #mha chisaki kai #shie hassaikai

[porschekittisawasds]

simply cannot believe i made a supernatural fic rec list in the year 2020 but here we are

When Worlds Collide

When Zachariah dies, the illusions he’s created die with him.  But before they collapse completely, sometimes they collide. That’s how Castiel goes from cradling Dean Winchester’s broken body one moment, to finding himself face to face with Dean Smith in the next.

note: basically endverse!cas’s world collapses right after endverse!dean is killed by lucifer and he gets thrown into the it’s a terrible life verse. drama and love and a whole lot of fuckery ensue. it’s tagged as major character death but it’s not really

Broadway Musical

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.

The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.

note: an AU where dean and jo are destined to fall in love and have two sons who will bring on the apocalypse and be the vessels for michael and lucifer. only problem is cupid’s arrows don’t make them fall in love with each other and heaven promptly starts freaking the fuck out so cas slips into a vessel and tries to do some matchmaking to get the whole end of the world thing back on track. it’s tagged as unrepentant crack and that pretty much sums it up, but it’s also a very funny and enjoyable read

a turn of the earth

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

note: listen i LOVE a good time travel fic

How (thanks to Gabriel) Dean and Castiel (accidentally) raised each other (and Sam)

In which, Gabriel meddles with the time line and Castiel becomes Dean's angel rather sooner than intended.

note: after lucifer stabs gabriel in hammer of the gods, gabriel uses his very last bit of grace to travel back to the beginning of time and decree castiel the angel of thursdays and dean winchester. fast forward a few eons and castiel hears mary’s dying cry. he shows up too late to save her, but he decides that a human life is very short in the grand scheme of things so he can play guardian angel to dean (and by extension sam) while also fulfilling his duties to heaven. not only is this pretty much my favorite supernatural fic, it’s also one of my favorite fics in general

The Shattered One

When it struck Castiel, he was in mid-flight. It dropped him out of the sky like a sparrow buffeted by gale-force winds. Castiel set down the first place he could find. He ended up standing in a field in Switzerland, swaying on his feet and staring down at his body, dazed by what it had just done.

note: okay so listen. this is tagged as mpreg but that’s kind of a stretch imo. it’s not like... mpreg mpreg in the sense that it deals with angel reproduction and has nothing to do with sex or pregnancy. angel reproduction goes like this: a section of an angel’s grace will suddenly and randomly break off and begin to grow on it’s own. after a certain period of time, another angel has to offer a piece of their grace and the two pieces will combine to form a new angel. that new angel is a fully developed, fully functional angel and is considered a new brother/sister instead of an offspring.

cas’s grace shatters which means he’s fucked because this takes place in season 5 after he’s defied heaven. no other angel will offer up a piece of their grace so his own is basically going to rip itself apart, killing him in the process. when dean and sam find out cas is going to die, dean offers up part of his soul in place of another angel’s grace. what results is a new angel that has just enough human in it that it takes the shape of a human baby and sends pretty much all of their lives into a tailspin.

ALSO just a heads up this is definitely more pre-destiel despite the relationship tag. there’s a sequel where im pretty sure they do get together but i haven’t read it so i cant’s say for sure.

Kiss You When It’s Dangerous

When his partner Uriel, betrays him, Federal Agent Castiel Novak is saved from becoming a ritual sacrifice by brothers Dean and Sam Winchester.

note: FBI!cas gets thrown headfirst into the supernatural. tagged as major character death, but again it’s not really

My Roots Take Flight

After forty years in Hell, Dean’s more than willing to accept the offer: become a guardian angel and earn his freedom. But his new ward seems destined to hunt alongside Sam, and there are secrets in Heaven that the angels don’t want found out. Dean’s going to have to choose between his duty and the people he loves- and to work out just where Castiel fits in.

note: season 4 au where dean is an angel and cas is a human except it’s way more complicated than that

Peace and Good Luck To All Men

Christmas in the Milton household was difficult enough without the added complication of guests- and if Luke and Gabriel placing bets on who can get with Sam first wasn’t bad enough, then Cas developing a ridiculous crush on his sister’s boyfriend definitely is. 

note: the one where michael, lucifer luke, gabriel, anna and cas are all human siblings but michael and lucifer luke are still trying to kill each other, gabriel is still Like That and cas is still super into dean which is pretty inconvenient considering he’s with anna.

Asunder

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:6) 

note: it’s been a very long time since i read this, but from what i remember it’s an AU where they’re all human and dean brings his friend/co-worker cas as his “date” to sam and ruby’s wedding for moral support. when sam was in college, he met ruby and they started using drugs together. after several failed attempts at helping him get clean, dean eventually cut sam off and it’s been years since they’ve spoken. even though sam and ruby are now both sober, dean blames ruby for everything that happened and the only reason he’s even going to the wedding is because bobby and ellen basically force him to. again, it’s been years and years since i read this so i can’t remember a lot of the details, but i do know that despite this being a dean/cas fic a lot of the focus is dean rebuilding his relationship with sam and that’s what i remember really liking about it.

Hanged, Drawn, and Quartered

Death brings Sam back — sort of.

note: a general fic involving only sam and dean. sam’s soul is so damaged from its time in the cage that when death brings it back, it shatters into pieces and so does sam. like literally. there’s four different sams now, each representing a distinctive part of his personality. sounds cracky but it’s actually surprisingly angsty and focuses on how the sams and dean are adjusting to their new reality and each other

Point Pleasant

(okay so this fic was deleted but i’m putting in on here anyway because the author has since turned it into a novel and had it published. im sure old pdfs of the fic are floating around but i highly recommend reading the novel version. if you know it was based on a destiel fic then it’s really easy to see those influences in the writing and the characters but it can stand up on it’s own. also!!!! it has pretty much the coolest take on the mothman’s origin story that i’ve ever heard.)

Ben Wisehart (Dean Winchester) grew up in the idyllic town of Point Pleasant, West Virginia. An early encounter with the supernatural shaped his worldview and served as the catalyst for his career as a bestselling horror writer. Thirteen years after abandoning his home, Ben returns to the town to investigate the apparent reemergence of the terrifying creature responsible for his childhood nightmares. In Point Pleasant, Ben is confronted not only by the town’s resident monster, the Mothman, but also by his former best friend, Sheriff Nicholas Nolan (Cas Novak). Together, Ben and Nicholas (Dean and Cas) uncover the mystery of the monster in the woods and discover that the ghosts that haunt us are sometimes made of flesh and blood. And sometimes, they lead us home.

Sympathy for the Devil (and Dean Winchester)

this is not so much a rec as it is a request.

basically an au version of season 5 (and kind of the whole series really). when god cast lucifer out of heaven, he tore out his grace. lucifer’s grace was put into the cage, but lucifer himself fell to earth and spent thousands and thousands of years reincarnating as a human. his latest reincarnation? dean winchester. so when sam opens the cage, lucifer’s grace is released and dean realizes that he’s lucifer. part of him still kind of wants to start the apocalypse but the other part of him has a whole new appreciation for humanity considering he now remembers every human life he’s ever lived. it’s made more complicated by the fact that dean (/lucifer) doesn’t really want to tell anyone that he’s apparently the devil so he has to keep his now angel status on the dl and also because despite heaven wanting the apocalypse to start, michael went missing from heaven shortly after lucifer was cast out and no one has any idea where he’s at.

this fic was deleted, but if anyone happens to have a pdf copy let me know. i would be highly appreciative!

#listen i read a lot of spn fic back in the day so im probably leaving a lot off this list #but these are the ones that i remember years and years later #also i just realized these are basically all AUs lmao #destiel #destiel fic rec #supernatural #supernatural fic rec #spn #ficrec

[universalfanfic]

I finally did it! I finally wrote the Mary/Owen first date for the RR/AMH AU! Don’t know why it took me so long, but I’m happy to have it done. And to write a bit more of the AMU Rogers siblings :)

Mary belongs to @inkoutsidethelines​ <3

(Also a mention of @whindsor‘s Mika. <3)

Mary had to finish the job on their picnic this afternoon. She had no more options. 

Already she’d been stalling this job for too long; her years of training stumbling as something inside her wrestled with the task. But now she didn’t have a choice. And now there wouldn’t be a more perfect time to strike.

Ever since they’d touched, heard that soft music, and Owen had declared they were True Loves, he’d dropped his guard around her completely. 

It still made Mary sick to her stomach. 

She didn’t have a True Love. Widows didn’t. Couldn’t. 

It wasn’t something she’d mentally prepared for. Wasn’t a lie she’d been trained to enact and so it had momentarily thrown her off balance. Momentarily. 

Really, she needed to do this; poison Owen or set up an accident with his gryphon, before she got cold feet. 

Before she started thinking too much. 

Widows always finished the job. 

He was waiting for her at the castle entrance, looking dapper and nervous. It was to be their first outing together. Their first time spent together with the knowledge of being True Loves.

Mary’s stomach churned but she shoved down the doubt. The creeping desire. 

Widows didn’t want. 

His eyes caught hers and his entire countenance shifted. He lightened. Mary let the practiced smile take over as she joined him. 

“I apologize if I kept you waiting.” 

“Not at all.” He responded. “In fact, I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

Mary canted her head in question and Owen rubbed the back of his neck. 

“About the picnic,” he started. Mary felt unease twist in her gut. He couldn't cancel. She needed to do this now. “I tried to shake them.” He continued. “I really did. But they rallied against me, I’m afraid.” 

“Shake who?” 

The question was answered for her before Owen had a chance to speak. 

A cacophony of sound barreled into the room and Mary stiffened. Every single one of Owen’s siblings joined them in the foyer, their faces vibrant and excited and eager. 

Well. All except Emma, who glared at Mary with a persistent suspicion that wouldn’t go away. 

Smart girl. 

“Our dear brother’s True Love!” Maddie declared. She threw an arm around Mary’s shoulders and grinned down at her. “How could we possibly leave you two to run off on your own? Shouldn’t we also get to know Andolasia’s future queen?”

It was only her years of Red Room training that kept Mary from openly reacting. She blinked several times and shook her head. Demure. Polite. 

“Oh.” She said. “I suppose I hadn’t thought about that.” 

“I’m sorry, I told them to leave us be, but they’re refusing.” Owen reiterated. “I hope you don’t mind.” He turned a pointed look his siblings’ way. “They won’t be doing this for the next outing.” 

Mary tilted her head up and gave Owen another practiced smile. His expression flickered briefly. 

“I don’t mind at all.” She said. 

Owen cleared his throat and forced himself to loosen some tension in his shoulders. Mary internally screeched. Her acting was perfect. Why were his responses so varied? What did he want from her? 

But he held out an arm and Mary held back her frustration. It was an offer. At least he made no presumptions. At least he gave her a choice if she wanted to link arms or not. 

But choices were dangerous things. Technically, she still didn’t have one. 

She took his arm. 

Mary could only think about how all her plans were currently being thrown out with the dish water as they flew on gryphon-back to their picnic destination. She mentally sifted through options as she sat with her face pressed against Owen’s back. Part of her act, her character. Not because he was warm and smelled good and hadn’t made a move to touch her yet despite being “True Loves”. 

Of course not. 

Her stomach twisted yet again and she hated it. She’d never felt like this on a mission before. Mary prided herself on being one of the best from the Room, and this would put all of their confidence in her in question. 

But did she even want that? Did she really want them to find her useful if it meant killing Owen? 

Mary shook her head and compartmentalized all her traitorous thoughts away as they landed. 

The meadow they settled in was a mere opening in the surrounding trees, a seeming secret pocket filled with birdsong and sunshine. Owen removed the dangling reins from Mopsey and Mary watched as the trio of gryphons settled into the grass, ruffling and spreading their wings in the afternoon sun. 

Orchestrating an accident would be incredibly hard in this situation. 

“Lady Mary, do you want to sit next to me?” 

Mary looked down to find Willow peering up at her. Willow’s wild curls nearly swallowed her face in their wind whipped state, but her mismatched eyes still clearly drilled into her. 

“Of course, Willow. As long as Owen gets to sit next to me too.”

“Okay!” 

Willow grabbed the fingers of her hand and attempted to lead her to the blanket that was spread out over the ground; Mary let her. Emma stood on the blanket and pulled Maddie down to her level to whisper something in her ear as she cast Mary another disapproving look. Whatever she said made Maddie laugh and poke Emma’s nose with a finger. 

“Don’t be silly, Emma. We promised Owen our best behavior, remember?” 

Owen cast his sister his own look. 

“And you’re actually listening for once?” 

“Hey. I can, when I put my mind to it.” 

Mary situated her skirts and sat on the blanket, Willow plopped down next to her with enthusiasm. She looked ready to burst with excitement. 

“So, do you like Mopsey, Lady Mary? I like Mopsey very much and I think she’s one of the very best flyers. But she’s not my favorite-favorite, because Sprinkles is my best friend and so she has to be favorite-favorite.” 

“Willow, this is supposed to be an excursion for Owen and Lady Mary to get to know each other, not for you to question Lady Mary.” Grant piped up. 

“I want to ask some questions.” Added Emma. 

“No.” Owen’s voice rose above the rest and settled his siblings. “Grant is right, you’re not here to interrogate my True Love.” 

Grant preened a bit at that and Emma scowled. 

Mary cleared her throat after an awkward lull in speaking, and Owen smiled apologetically at her. His eyes searched hers and Mary swallowed back any snappy remarks that popped up in her head that would have been oh so funny to reply with. It wouldn’t be something a maid did. 

Owen's gaze flickered once more at her peaceful expression and he turned to distract himself with the picnic basket next to him. 

Inwardly, Mary screeched yet again.

The picnic commenced with the appearance of food and everyone quickly tucked in. 

Owen must have had the cooks prepare something special for their excursion, because there looked to be a little bit of everything. Sweet bread, cured meat, fruit, and pastries. As well as some pale white bricks of what looked like rice. 

Emma reached for one and Maddie swatted her hand away. 

“You can have one after you eat lunch,” she said. 

Willow tugged on Mary’s sleeve and leaned closer. 

“My mommy invented those,” she said proudly. “You should certainly try one; I know you’ll love it Lady Mary. They’re so sweet and gooey and good.” 

“Mom didn't invent them.” Grant groaned. “She introduced them. And she wouldn’t have been able to make them without Aunt Mika showing her how to puff rice.” 

Willow, for a moment, looked as though Grant’s words had corrected her. But then she shifted back to Mary and said, 

“Auntie Mika helped invent them.”

Mary couldn’t stop thinking about how all of this foiled her first plan to poison Owen. it would have been simpler. Painless, for him. She could have disappeared never to be seen again; never have to face his family for what she’d- 

It bothered her. 

The thought still arrested her, no matter how long it’d been bubbling under the surface. She liked his kingdom, and his oddball siblings, even his parents. And him. She really liked him. 

And wasn’t that a problem? 

Killing him would be a kindness compared to what the Red Room would do to him if they found out she was his True Love. Their direct link to the future monarch. 

Mary tried to spend the picnic pleasantly. She ate lunch, even tried one of the things they called crispy treats, and kept her conversation polite. Inside she felt coiled tight like a spring.

Owen did his best to keep conversation with her. He talked about their picnic location, the local fauna. He asked about her life, her interests, and her wants. Mary was glad that she had enough of a cover story to answer believably.

Maddie bounced her leg restlessly as lunch progressed. It was like a reflection of Mary’s inward tension. 

Eventually it got to the point where it seemed Maddie could take it not longer and she jumped up from the blanket. Mary was a bit relieved to not have her restless movements feeding into her own emotions anymore. 

“I say we show her gryphon jumping,” she said. 

“No.” 

Owen’s answer came before Maddie even managed to finish her sentence, and that only seemed to spur her on.

“Owen, really. It’s practically a time honored tradition-”

“It’s a stunt you came up with that could get someone killed.” 

“Honestly, it’s like you don’t trust Mopsey, Acorn, or Kip at all.” 

Mary leaned forward, focused on the conversation. 

“What is gryphon jumping?” 

Maddie’s eyes shone. 

“See? She wants to, I can tell. It’s exhilarating. So, you get your gryphon up as high as you can, or as high as you dare, and then you lean back and-” Maddie stretched her arms out wide at her sides. “You drop.”

Owen scowled and Maddie’s grin only widened. 

“You fall as long as you can and then you whistle and have your gryphon catch you before you turn into a pancake. It really is fun.” 

Emma crossed her arms. 

“Mommy and daddy won’t let me try it.” 

“You would cry,” said Grant. 

“Would not!” 

Willow made a patting motion with her hand. 

“It’s okay to cry, Emma.” 

Something inside Mary sparked; her neatly folded hands twitched. The thrill. She’d be good at it, she knew instinctively. All her training and natural disposition would let her push the limits of the jump. She would be able to rival Maddie at it. 

The idea of them competing also stirred her. It would- It would be fun. 

She was allowed to pretend to be having fun for missions, but Mary wasn’t sure when the last time she’d done something she actually wanted to do was. Had she ever done anything just for the sake of doing it?  

But Owen frowned at Maddie’s speech and obviously didn’t approve of the activity. 

She had the faint thought, a blip, that this could be her opportunity. If she pushed, she could get him to join in and gryphon jumping was obviously so dangerous. Accidents were bound to happen if a person didn’t focus on what was happening the entire time. 

But still, the thought twisted her stomach. 

A stringy, uneasy sort of note sounded in the air and Mary stamped down on the train of thought. She gave Maddie an apologetic smile and shrugged her shoulders. 

“Oh, thank you for the invitation,” she said. “But I’ve never done anything like that before. For now, I think I’ll keep my feet on the ground.” 

Maddie’s smile faded slightly even as she stared at Mary. Stared as if she were looking for something. Like she was confused by the answer.  Owen’s shoulders dropped in relief, but he too seemed affected by the answer. Like he’d expected her to go along with it. 

Mary bit the inside of her cheek at another awkward lull. 

They wrapped up the picnic shortly after that. The same amount of people who’d come made it back home. 

Widows didn���t fail. 

Mary didn’t know what that made her.

#RR/AMH au #ink tag #whindsor tag #friends ocs #oc crossover #my writing #mary/owen #hopefully this is alright? #i could have done more but i wanted to get it out

[chickynn]

“Inosuke learns how to read”

I have no idea what this is supposed to be.

But enjoy.

Hana belongs to @pandabobachan

Rin belongs to me uwu

Hana sat across Inosuke as she teaches him how to read. Rin was beside her, enjoying Inosuke's suffering as he struggles to read a word.

"Alright, Inosuke, what does this say?" Hana smiles, pointing to a word written on the paper.

Inosuke squints at it, "B-bo...boooaa...-" Someone help him.

"It's 'boat', you idiot" Rin konks him on the head. Before anyone could even blink, the table flew across the room. Hana tried to restrain Inosuke from trying to rip Rin's hair out.

"WHO EVEN CARES ABOUT READING! IT'S NOT LIKE I NEED IT FOR DEFEATING DEMONS!!" Inosuke gives up, then proceeds to stomp out of the room. Hana follows after him.

I mean, he's not wrong.

Rin stared at the mess he made. Looks like they're going to get in trouble again.

"W-what happened?" Tanjiro, who had just entered the room with Zenitsu, asked. He then noticed the broken table at the other side of the room, "Oh"

Rin shrugged, "That's not my problem now," she peaced sign, "later!". Then she walked out of the room, Zenitsu following after.

"Rin-chaaaan~" He did one of his weird giggles. But for some reason, Rin find them cute-

"What do you want?" Rin whipped around, glaring at him, trying to hide her obvious blush.

Zenitsu only pouted at her, "Where are you going, Rin-chan?"

Rin's facial expressions soften, "I'm going on a mission...like, really far away from here" she scratched the back of her head, "So I had to take the train for that..."

She started to have Vietnam war flashbacks. She shivered.

Zenitsu whined, "But Rin-chaaan! You're going to be far away from me!"

"Quit your whining, I won't be gone for too long anyways"

Zenitsu was about to comply more, but Rin already went ahead and shyly kisses his cheek, before stumbling away from him.

Tanjiro went out the room to see Zenitsu fainting. He walked over his body, "Zenitsu, wake up! We're going on a mission!"

-------------

Rin sat on a booth, farther away from everyone else so she wouldn't be disturbed. But then she started to hear Vector's theme song from Despicable Me.

A strange looking man wearing an orange jumpsuit sat in front of her, smirking, "Hey"

Rin ignored him and continued staring out the window.

He got up and tiptoed beside her, "I'm thinking about applying to be a tsuguko of a pillar going by the name 'Vector!'"

She only scooted away.

He continued, "It's a mathematical term represented by an arrow in both direction and magnitude!"

Rin was now already at the far side of the seat.

Vector slid next to her, "VECTOR! that's me! Cus I'm stopping demons with both direction and magnitude! OH YEAAHHH!"

Rin wanted to beat the shit out of him right now, but decided to preserve her energy for the actual battle.

Seeing as she is ignoring him right now, he still continued, "Check out my new weapon..." He then pulled put a gun, "PIRANHA GUN! OH YESSSS"

Rin looked at his weapon, isn't that dangerous? But then again, she remembered that her squad has Inosuke in it.

"It shoots out live piranhas! Ever seen one? NO! I invented this myself, want a demonstration?"

She doesn't even need to answer that because he had already shot it and it accidentally hit a person. He started screaming and immediately ran towards the very front part of the train.

Rin shot up from her seat and was about to run after the person, but the train stopped. Everyone on the train starts panicking.

Rin screeched, "WHAT HAPPENED-?"

"THE CONDUCTOR DIED!" A random stranger screeches back.

Rin fell to her knees, "nOOOOOO- HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO GO TO MY MISSION?!"

Then she turned to glare at Vector, who just slowly hid his gun and pretended like nothing happened. She grabbed him by his collar, ready to throw a punch at him.

"YOUUUUUUUUU!!!"

Vector starts sobbing, "NO WAIT PLEASE!! I HAVE CHILDREN"

"Rin! Please him go! He PROBABLY didn't do anything!" A voice that sounds like Tanjiro said, catching her off guard.

She turned around to see Tanjiro, behind him were Zenitsu, Inosuke, and Hana.

Wait what.

"What are you all doing here?" Rin furrowed her eyebrows. She is beyond confusion now.

"I guess we're all sent to the same mission" Tanjiro chuckled, scratching the back of his head.

That kind of explains it.

"Attention passengers; please remain calm, this isn't the first time that our conductor has died. We'll fix this issue which will take a couple of hours. So in the meantime, listen to this really calm music used in Titanic."

A loud screeching noise was heard from the speakers. Everyone started screaming and covering their ears, begging for it to stop. That totally calmed everyone down.

"Damn, I sure do wonder how they're going to fix this situation" Hana said, munching on her hot cheetos that she has taken out of nowhere.

Rin groaned and went to a different train cart so that she can do something while they're stuck here. Zenitsu follows after her, "My love! Look, I'm here with you right now! Why don't we just enjoy each other's companies- wait what the-"

There was a rave going on in this cart. Rin stared at it in disgust but decided to enter it anyways. It probably has food in and drinks in it, better than Hana's hot cheetos anyway.

Zenitsu followed her in confusion as she starts eating the food on the tables. "Hey, Rin...are we really supposed to be here?"

Rin didn't answer him, only stuffing more food in her mouth. She honestly doesn't know what she's eating, but holy shit these tasted good. Zenitsu only watched her as she drank something from one of the cups that were placed there.

"Hey! You gotta try these!" Rin offered him a drink, but he refused. He's probably still thinking that they weren't supposed to be eating or drinking in here. She shrugged and drank the whole thing by herself in one gulp. She felt a little tipsy after drinking that, but she can still manage.

"Hey! You're not supposed to be here!" Someone yelled, but Rin didn't even care, she just continued refilling her cup, completely unaffected. That is, until Zenitsu grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the place, causing her drink to spill. Once they were out of the place, he noticed that Tanjiro and the others are nowhere to be found.

'Oh God oh please oh no-' Zenitsu starts hsving a mental breakdown internally.

"nOoOOoooOOO, wHy'D yOu do THaaAT-" Rin whined, throwing weak punches at him, none of them affecting him. Zenitsu sighed, pulling her arm over his shoulder to help her walk properly. Rin complained, saying that she can walk properly by herself.

He doubts that.

Zenitsu sets her down on a booth, then started to think of ways to handle this. It wasn't the first time that he is handling his drunk partner. It's just that Tanjiro was there to help him. But now he is nowhere to be found.

He just decided to stay and watch over her to prevent her from doing stupid stuff. Right now, she's trying to get out of his iron grip so that she can go back to that cart. Rin didn't know when he got so strong to hold her down without struggling, but holy shit that just turns her on-

I CANT BRETAGE WTF

Anyways, this wasn't the 'enjoying each other's companies' that Zenitsu pictured earlier. He starts to pray for Tanjiro or the others to come back.

Soon, Rin started calming down and is now dozing off to sleep. "N-nOoo i dOn'T waNnA sLeeP...yet...." lmao too late bitch you're snoring off your fat ass now.

Zenitsu was thankful that she finally fell asleep. Now all he needs to do is keep praying for the others to come back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rin finally woke up from her sleep. She immediately sat up to look at her surroundings. She noticed everyone else sitting on different beds next to hers. They looked like they just came out of a warzone or something.

"Holy shit...what happen to you guys?" Rin asked.

Tanjiro struggled to sit up, "Well...Inosuke-"

"Makes sense"

"B-but I didn't get to finish-"

"Rin-chan! You're awake!!" Zenitsu came in the room and was about to run and hug her, but he realized that he's holding something. So he walked over to her and placed them on her nightstand before hugging her.

"So uh,, what day is it?" Rin asked, trying to free herself from Zenitsu's bone crushing hug.

"One" Inosuke said.

Hana sighed, "What he meant to say is, it's just been a day since the train incident"

Everything suddenly comes back to Rin. That Vector guy. Hana's hot cheetos. That rave party in the cart. Her heads started to hurt just by thinking about it.

Zenitsu noticed how she's holding her head, so he gives her a painkiller that he had brought in earlier.

After drinking the painkiller, she tried processing everything again. Then she realized that she's supposed to be on her mission right now. She then proceeds to wonder where the fuck they are.

"If you're wondering, we're actually in the village for our mission now" Han said. Wow- it's like she read Rin's mind or something.

"Yes, I can read your mind" Hana smiles at her.

"Wait what-"

"Nothing, anyways, let's just stay and rest here for a bit before we yeet out"

"I DON'T WANNA SIT AND WAIT, I WANNA KILL SOME DEMONS NOW!! " Inosuke screamed, jumping out of his bed.

"Inosuke, calm down! Remember your breathing exercises!" Tanjiro panicked and got out of his bed to restrain the angy boi, "Try doing some Yoga too!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS A YOGA, I DON'T WANT TO DO IT"

"Do the dang Yoga!" Hana intervened.

"I SAID I'M NOT GOING TO-"

Rin rose up from her bed (which made Zenitsu fall because he was sitting on her) and started stomping on Inosuke.

"Uh guys, I'm pretty sure this isn't how yoga went" Tanjiro said.

"STOP! THIS ISN'T CALMING HIM DOWN!" Hana screamed. Zenitsu starts screaming aswell as he tried to pry Rin off Inosuke, but he somehow managed to get into the mess.

Hana looked at Tanjiro, who just laid back down, "Aren't you going to do anything?"

Tanjiro pulled the covers over him, "It doesn't matter, they're not going to listen to me anyways"

He has a point. With that, the two of them went back to sleep as if nothing is currently happening.

Meanwhile, Inosuke managed to run away from Rin and Zenitsu. Rin ran to chase after him, screaming, screeching and yelling can be heard from outside the room. Zenitsu tried to follow after but he realizes that there was also no point in that, so he just went to bed too lmao

Inosuke and Rin ran to the front desk, the lady in charge starts screaming, thinking Inosuke was a monster because of his mask. He hisses at her and proceeds to climb on the walls, away from the place.

What did Hana see in this creature.

Rin starts running after him outside the inn they were staying. Inosuke stood there, completely frozen and staring at something. “Come on, pig head, let’s go back in-” She was cut off short when she saw what was in front of them.

A demon. A huge one. A bunch of letters that can be formed into words looked like they were tattooed into his skin. The letters are also moving and shifting, forming new words. Rin wonders what his demon art is. But anyways, she wasted no time in grabbing her blade, preparing to swing at him. 

Inosuke went behind to inspect something from the back of him. Rin swing her blade to the demon’s neck, but he dodged, kicking her side. She slams to the wall, the impact made her vision a bit blurry. She looked over at Inosuke, who was still looking behind the demon’s back. 

“MWUAHAAHHAHAHAH!! THAT THING WON’T WORK ON ME!! THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT ME IS IF YOU SAY A MAGIC WORD”

“Please die” Rin groaned, laying down somehow comfortably on the broken debris of the wall. 

“NICE TRY! BUT THAT’S NOT IT, THE WORD IS MERELY IMPOSSIBLE TO THINK OF!!” The demon does a jojo pose, continuing, “ONLY PEOPLE WITH MASSIVE IQ CAN BE ABLE TO THINK OF THE WORD”

“Hey this spells boat!” Inosuke happily says, pointing to a word behind his back. He is proud of himself for remembering what had Hana thought him. Everything fell silent for-

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY WEAKNESS”

“wait what” 

Then he explodes. Bits and pieces of body parts of the demon came flying everywhere, those whose mouths were open were blessed with demon limbs. 

“I have so many questions right now, but I’m gonna sleep” Rin grumbles, closing her eyes to peacefully rest around the splattered insides of the demon. Until she heard a bunch of footsteps running over her. 

“OH MY GOSH RIN IS DEAD” A voice laced with worry said, who Rin assumed was Hana. She still didn’t budge, to exhausted to even open her eyes. Another voice that sounded like Zenitsu’s spoke, “MOVE!! I KNOW HOW TO DO CPR!!”

Rin’s eyes shot back up sitting up instantly, “nO WAIT- MMPH!!”

Ah too late. Zenitsu had already performed his so-called ‘cpr’ which is literally just kissing her. He pulls away after, inspecting Rin’s now wide awaken face. “HEY IT WORKED- OW!!”

Rin repeatedly smacks him on the head, a furious blush plastered on her face. Meanwhile, Hana runs up to Inosuke with the most worried look on her face, “What happened?!”

Inosuke smirks under his mask, sticking up his nose in the air in pride, “The great Lord Inosuke has defeated the demon!!” Then he victoriously laughs. Hana giggles, hugging him tightly as she nuzzles her face against his chest. 

“Wow...you’re so strong hehehe”

Inosuke scoffs, “Of course I am! Who do you think I am?!”

“My strong Inosuke~”

“YES!! PRAISE ME MORE!” Inosuke cackles more, picking her up and spinning them together. A matching blush adorning both of their cheeks. Tanjiro felt single now. 

“Hey uh...sorry to interrupt but how exactly did you defeat it?” Tanjiro nervously intervenes, thinking it was rude to interrupt them. Inosuke didn’t seem to mind that much though.

“That’s easy! I just simply have big IQ!” Inosuke snickers, pointing at himself pridefully. Everyone else doubts that. Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and Hana looked at him in confusion, then they looked at Rin. She shrugs, “I don’t know guys, I had a concussion earlier and started seeing....things”

She shivers, after having another Vietnam flashback for a split second. Everyone else decided to just ask her later after her headache have subsided. They headed back to the inn, not even bothering to clean up the demon limbs or the broken wall.

#demon slayer ocs #kny ocs #kimetsu no yaiba ocs #hana fujiwara #rin honoyama #rinzen #hanosuke #panda-chaaaan!!

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Constructive Critique

  ‘Hiiiii-’ Joan swung herself into Maggie’s cabin, narrowly avoiding the myriad of shoes and cigarette packets that littered the floor, and flopped down onto the bunk. ‘Are you ready to go?’

  ‘Mmm.’

  Maggie didn’t look up from her laptop.

  Joan was used to this- when Maggie was in her ‘creative zone’ (otherwise known as the ‘fuck off and dont talk to me zone’), it sometimes took her a while to be able to leave it.

  She settled in for a wait and made herself comfy on Maggie's bunk- as usual, the bed was unmade. Unable to help herself, she twitched the covers into place before she sat down.

  No response.

  Hm. 

  That was odd. Maggie usually hated anyone tidying up after her.

   Joan could still remember the time she’d relegated Anne to sitting on the floor for having the audacity to fold up her pajamas for her. Granted, Joan was never subjected to quite the same level of temper as everyone else….but still, even she was used to being ordered sharply to ‘just leave it alone Joan, jesus-’.

  She smoothed out the bedspread. 

  Still no response.

  Weird.

  Biting the bullet, she rolled onto her stomach, rearranged Maggie's pillows and started to order the bits and pieces scattered on the bedside table, expecting every second for Maggie to look up and bark at her to stop.

  Nothing.

  Sitting up, she looked at Maggie more closely.

  She was staring intently at her laptop screen, but she didn’t look how she usually looked when working- the peaceful faraway look was gone. She wasn't typing or clicking through. Her hands were in her lap. 

  In fact, they were clenched into fists.

  ‘Maggie?’

  Nothing.

  ‘Mags- are you ok?’

  Joan crawled off the bed and came over.

  ‘Mags?’

  Maggie jumped as if waking up when Joan touched her arm. ‘What? Oh, sorry-’

  ‘Are you ok?’

  ‘Fine...did you want something?’ Already, her eyes were drifting back to the screen and Joan felt wrong footed.

  ‘I just….we were going to get something to eat?’ She wondered if this was Maggie's way of letting her know she wasn't in the mood- a bit of a change from her usual ‘Fuck, can we take a raincheck?’ but still a possibility. ‘We don't have to if you don’t want-’

  ‘Oh-’ Maggie seemed to catch onto Joan’s hesitancy, to notice the way her fingers twisted anxiously ‘Sorry- of course we were....’ She shook her head. ‘Of course we can-’

  But her tone was off- Joan was more used to Maggie's flat affect than anyone, and she could tell what was normal and what wasn’t. This….wasn’t.

  She put out a hand to pause Maggie in the middle of her perfunctory hunt for her wallet and keycard. 

  ‘Mags? Something's up. Tell me? Please?’

  Maggie got her stubborn look for a moment- as if planning on flat out denying all and making Joan fight her over it- but then she sighed and shrugged.

  ‘Oh, it’s nothing. Honestly. Really really stupid-’

  ‘What?’ The suspense was killing Joan. She was seconds away from breaking her new year's resolution to give up biting her nails. (Three months in and going strong. Maggie’s- to give up smoking, at Anne and Joan’s joint request- had lasted all of two hours and twenty minutes.)

  Maggie bit her lip, obviously debating whether or not to actually finish.

‘-someone left a review on my last recording-’

  ‘Oh!’ Joan bounced happily for a moment. She knew how much reviews meant to Maggie- despite her repeated claims that her music was for her not for anyone else, Joan knew that the rare confirmations that someone else had actually noticed the piece of herself that she’d thrown into the void of cyberspace were precious. ‘What did they say?’

  In answer, Maggie tilted her laptop screen so that Joan could read for herself.

‘-know you’re only starting out as musician….constructive criticism….whoever taught you really missed out on a few things didn't they?.....irritating tendencies….poor technique...know you’re sensitive…..would be happy to point you to some online resources….’ And then the sweetly poisonous ending ‘Please know this comes from a place of wanting you to be better and improve...’

  There was no name, no address, no picture icon.

  The first time she read it, the faux-concern and almost paternalistic tone made her want to laugh.

  Then she read it again- and looked at Maggie, drooping in her chair and looking so very tired- and hot anger took over.

  ‘It’s...polite, isn’t it?’ Maggie quirked an eyebrow in her usual sardonic manner but her hands didn’t unclench. ‘I didn't think people talked like that any more-’

  ‘Oh Maggie-’

  ‘I feel like blaming my teacher was a bit harsh….poor Mr Greyson isn’t even here to defend himself. And it’s hardly his fault I never paid attention in class-’

  A muscle gave a tiny, almost imperceptible twitch, just under Maggie's right eye.

  ‘Mags-’

  ‘Nice of them to concede I’m still learning though. I guess. Although-’ Maggie turned to face Joan properly for the first time. ‘They think my technique is bad? Imagine how much worse it is for me, I’m the one actually trying to play despite it, jesus, like c’mon, cut me some slack-’

  ‘Maggie!’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Fuck them!’

  Maggie blinked at her. ‘What?’ It wasn’t often that she was able to surprise the other girl, and Joan made a mental note to let Maggie know just how adorable she looked when she was really, truly taken back, when things were less fraught.

  ‘Joey?’

  ‘Fuck them, Mags! Fuck whatever patronising little-’ she paused. It wasn't that she was reluctant to swear, more that she was afraid of Maggie laughing at her for her choice- she’d never heard the end of it when she’d frustratedly called a queue-jumper an ‘inconsiderate dick-face’. 

Ironically, it had been an attempt to prove to everyone that she was adult enough to swear if she wanted to. The attempt had, she had to admit, backfired spectacularly well.

  ‘Go on-’ There was an amused quirk to Maggie's eyebrow- obviously their thoughts had followed a similar vein. ‘A little-?’

  ‘Never mind. Point is-’ She stabbed a finger at the laptop screen. ‘I cant believe anyone would have the nerve to say shit like that- as if they’re the arbitrator of what good music is, when they’re not even brave enough to come off anon!- and to then call you sensitive!’

  Maggie shrugged. ‘Constructive criticism and all that-’

  ‘No! Constructive criticism is-’ Joan groped for a good comparison. ‘When I tell you that I want tips on how I can make the others listen to me. Or when I direct you guys during rehearsal. Not….this. This….’Oh I’m such a good person, I’m so wise and talented, let me point out all your faults in a really unnecessarily nasty way and then call you thin skinned’...if they really care, why aren’t they linking you to their own page? So you can get tips from them, if they’re so good. Or even so you can ask them questions privately?’

  Maggie shrugged. ‘Maybe they just don't want to- I mean, they don’t have to-’

  ‘Maybe they know exactly how nasty the message was and don't want to face any consequences from it, you mean-’ Internally, Joan wondered if it was bad form to snap at someone when trying to stick up for them. Oh well. She’d ask Maggie later, Maggie would know. ‘Maybe they just like patting themselves on the back by pointing out non-issues or things you’re already aware of and are working on by presenting themselves as this master musician, but in a way that means you’ll never ever be able to respond to them! Well, I have a response-’ she leans forward ‘Fuck you! Fuck you and fuck your help and advice!’

  She was breathing a little harder by the time she’d finished: Maggie was leaning back slightly in her chair.

  ‘Um…..wow....are you….ok?’

  ‘Yeah….’

  ‘....I already wrote a response, you’ll be sad to hear. It was a bit different to yours.’ On the screen, Maggie's finger pointed out her polite, calm message of reply: ‘Thanks for your interest….always appreciate feedback...thanks for listening’.

  Joan suddenly felt foolish. Maggie clearly didn’t care that much. What was she even doing, ranting and raving when what Maggie probably wanted was just to forget about it? 

  She probably wasn’t even all that bothered by it- sure she’d seemed a little off, but Maggie was the absolute pinnacle of taking things on the chin, she’d probably barely registered the thing. Stupid Joan, overreacting; stupid overemotional Joan….

  Hic-

  Joan had never wanted to die more. Hiccups- was it possible to have a more childish marker of distress?

  ‘Yeah…..’ She tried to hold her breath surreptitiously and then gave up. ‘Sorry, just….I got cross…’

  ‘I can see….’ Maggie's lips twitched. ‘Pity whoever wrote that if they come across you, huh?’

  ‘Yeah….’ Her face was burning. Why was she so stupid? Why couldn't she have just passed over it like Maggie obviously had?

  Because you’re thinking about how you’d feel, the little voice in her head responded immediately, because you’re imagining how you’d feel if you got a message like that, how you’ve felt when you have got messages like that- like you don't want to make anything anymore, like you're embarrassed for people to see any of your work-

  She shut it down. That was her, not Maggie- cool, collected, talented Maggie. As if Maggie would be affected by a stupid review.

  She shook away too the image of Maggie hunched in her chair and staring sadly at the screen. She’d probably imagined most of it.

  ‘Shall we go get food then?’

  As if in evidence of her okay-ness, Maggie almost bounced out of her chair, grabbing her phone from the floor and stuffing her keycard deep into her pocket as she made for the door, Joan trailing behind.

  ‘Ok-’

  ‘Where do you want to go?’ Maggie pulled the door firmly. ‘We got pizza the other day, so I’m feeling maybe Thai- or ramen, we haven’t had good ramen in ages-’ She paused. ‘Are you ok?’

  ‘Yeah.’ Joan nodded quickly. ‘Fine-’

  ‘Cool- so….maybe ramen? Unless you’re not feeling noodles….also there’s that creepy guy who works there and I think I heard he works extra shifts now so maybe not-’

  Half way down the corridor, Maggie suddenly stopped. Joan wondered if she was going to say she’d forgotten something, but instead, she grabbed Joan's hand and squeezed it hard.

  ‘Joan?’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Thank you-’

  Joan felt a bit nonplussed. ‘What for?’

  Maggie looked at her as if she was an idiot. ‘For….you know….’ She gently bumped her shoulder against Joan’s. ‘For caring enough to get angry on my behalf? For saying fuck a million times- it was funny, cheered me right up-’ Her expression sobered. ‘Just...thanks. I know it’s ridiculous to let some internet random get to me but….yeah.’ 

  She gave Joan’s hand a parting squeeze and let go, straightening up, back to normal again. ‘As you say, fuck them, next time i’ll just let you reply and save myself the trouble…’ Her lips twitched and she tilted her head. ‘Anyway…back to important stuff….food choices and that.’ She looked at Joan ‘Shall we go?’

  ‘Yeah-’ Joan hid her smile and started down the corridor. ‘Let’s go.’

#I saw the title and I already knew what this was gonna be about #AND SIS YOU SNAPPED #you said what I couldnt!! and it’s all true!! #DRAG EM SIS #okay but actual comments!! #maggie not liking people picking up her things? love that 👌 #I also love the bit where joey bites her nails! and then maggie not giving up smoking haha #god the parts where joan defended maggie is so valid and well stated and true and 👌👌👌 #I love joan snapping!! #and then her cussing the anon out oh my god #that’s so funny!!! #and maggie being actually pretty shocked #THE HICCUPS!!! YES!!!! #bro put joan’s hiccup tendency in a fic and it automatically becomes good #just some tips 👀 #aww joan beating herself up over yelling :( poor baby! #but maggie coming in clutch and making her feet better!! 🥺🥺 #AAAA I JUST LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! #THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR SATING MY HUNGER THE BA GIRLS!! #but you know im gonna need more now right? 👀 I crave your writing #not my writing #six breakaway #breakaway joan on the keys #breakaway maggie on the guitar #submission

[princelestatdelioncourt]

*fanfict*

“Why the hell should I go down and meet him?” I protested

You know the story. I will explain what happened in between the lines.

I finally went and met the draper and his son. The actual story never said what it was felt but the basics of meeting and receiving these gifts for my good job killing wolves. At least I was compensated and given thanks for something I’ve done. For once.

My brothers were annoying on if I really killed all these wolves by myself and it was not an imaginary thing I have created in my mind and I lied to them for attention, you know Augustin’s reaction. Them thinking instead it was only that wolf I have carried back home. But at least the Villagers found the dead scene, the horse, my dogs and the wolves. So yes its was all true.

And now my brothers saw that instant connection with Nicolas. They became more annoying. Gods know when it was the last time I saw Nicolas. I was maybe, 10? I Cant even remember. He was sent to study to Paris, they had money for that. I was barely no much around the Village but when I needed to go. So I wasn't sure when he departed to Paris. I spend most of the time at the castle and later on in the mountains, hunting, my own happiness.

And so now Nicolas was back. I could remember very briefly our childhood days when we were 5 or 6. That bitter kid. Now he was looking splendid.

The sun shone on his back, it even seemed he had his own light all around him. His silhouette. He approached to me offering me the gifts and his voice was soft and captivating. Yes, I could remember him now. I looked down at the cloak and boots. Just so magnificent and gorgeous items. So soft. How could something  was alive, just weeks ago, then I killed them and now I could wear it. Is like the Medieval Times, kill they prey and wear his fur, Kill the enemy and carry his head.

I looked up, into his eyes when he was giving me the respectfully thanks, like these rich Parisians do, I just found it stupid but I thought that he either acted or he was actually that polite. I wasn't paying attention to what he said as I was submerged on my thoughts. I never knew how to thank properly as I was never given any gifts. I just looked into his eyes, so dark and so deep while he continued talking. His voice was like a soft faded song on the background. He shone, he was beautiful dressed but I also saw in him something that was familiar to me, in his eyes. Something that I knew of as well. I could see his handsome smile but I could see sadness or frustration in his eyes. It was like a self reflection of myself. Different but similar.

I ignored or tried to ignore these thoughts about him. Perhaps it was just me and my own misery receiving these gifts and his perfect outfit something that I knew I would never have. I knew that now, I would feel more alone, becasue of the wolves and now if I would wear this beautiful cloak. Surely I was in love with that cloak and boots, I never had garments like this before. But I was happy,  that I saw him again as well.

And as always, that happiness once again faded when my mother told me she was dying. Like a cold ice shower over me. I froze. I could not think, I could not act, I could not imagine but I imagined the horror that was coming my way. To have to be there when she will be on her last minutes, to listen and see her pain...unbearable. It drove me insane and mad. Mad why her. Why she had now to suffer this after all these years trapped in misery like me. WHY! Why not them, why not someone else who deserve its, Not her. I was angry with hr why she now will have to leave me that way and for her suffering, I was angry to my father for making her life miserable and mine as well, I was angry at my brothers, I was angry at the Castle, I was angry to every thing that surrounded me. I had these nightmares, killing one after another, every night, gone, and she shone, alive, young, beautiful, I saved her, They were dead and she was alive and beautiful and then she was gone, gone, gone...Mother... dont leave me...I love you...Mother...

I have stayed in my room for a week with these thoughts in my mind and these  nightmares that awoke me with despair. I wanted to be alone, to cry in silence, to think and not to think, to drink until I could not handle anymore, to run away without going anywhere, to hunt and kill whatever crossed my path...I was furious with everything... I had my dogs and they gave me some peace and company. New adult dogs I adopted days after the wolf battle when I was able to handle to have dogs. So I was able to go hunting again. Not even the servers talked to me, neither I wanted to talk to them.  All that time I was in my room, after the battle and now this about my mother, we only ate vegetables and broth. Cheese. Bread. No one, was capable to go hunting but me. So basically we starved. I wasn't hungry anyways. I had too much in my mind. I didn't care about food.

The red cloak on my bed and the boots near the fireplace. I thought about Nicolas then. I felt I was like in a dark cloud all this time, grey skies all around me, cold, unable to see past that cloud but that cloak was so bright red, was so vibrant, like when I saw Nicolas, he shone. How much I wished everything was a dream. The wolves, my mother, my brothers, my father, Nicolas...all a damned dream. But not, it was very real.

Days after my Mother came back to my room. Just as she always did when she came to my room. Same walk, same back and forth, slowly and calm yet so secure and her voice, strong but weak “Go down to the Village and meet Nicolas. His father will be happy to know he is friends with the Marquis Son.” she said

That didn't help. The hell with the Marquis and whatever people thinks I am now. I hated that. I hated it all. I hated to see my mother decaying. I hated her words. I hated to see her gray hair. I didn't say anything to respect her and not to aggravate her on her pan, I just stared at the fireplace in silence, not even looked at her now. She gave me that last look before she left my room. I saw it by the corner of my eye....moments later, I finally decided to go to meet Nicolas.

I looked horrible. I shaved with that old straight razor and splashed my face with cold water. The servants always refilled the basin with water but it was always cold. I was horrible mostly during winter times. All clean now. At least my face was. I was dressed with my old white yellow with age shirt, the jacket I owned and over my shoulder the red cloak and the new boots. It felt warm. It feel good. I make an order for the dogs to stay and they obeyed.

I’ve heard my brothers laughing and whispering on my back while I was on the way to the barn but Ignoring their presence and their ridiculous comments, I continued walking. The last thing I wanted to do now, was to fight with them.

Went down to the Village and I realized some people looked at me and bowed at me. I took a deep breath. I knew why. The wolves...I took a deep breath and made myself to continue and ignore anything else.

I went in to the Tavern and sat down. Ordering a wine I could not pay. I drank my first glass and looked around. People drinking, people drunk. Laughs. Warmth, cold. And I just sat there, with my red cloak, observing the Villagers. Thinking why I could not be like them? They seemed happy. They had each other... can we trade?

Submerged to these thoughts, I’ve heard the door opening and hitting the wall. It woke me up from my stupor and there he was. Nicolas. He was like if he came from a long run. His hair was messy but still tied back with a bow. He seemed excited to see me there. What an excitement. He rushed to my side and I just looked at him without a word wondering why he was so happy to see me . Again, reactions like that, were new to me, unknown to experience in my daily life.

He ordered more wine and supper and up to the room we went. I followed him and I really hoped he had the money to pay all of that and not to expect the Lord to pay becasue the Lord had zero money in his pocket. I chuckled just thinking about it. I imagined myself running away at night with the inn keeper screaming to me to pay for all the ordeal.

That room felt so comfortable. So warm. And “our Conversation” began.

“What was it like, Monsieur, killing the wolves?” he stared at me

"Why don't you tell me what's it like in Paris, Monsieur? “ I said and it seemed mocking and rude. You know I was furious about my life and I simply replied the way I always replied to my brothers. But he was not like them. I knew it. I apologized he seemed to understand.

Hours and hours have passed. Drunker we were, glass after glass. I asked a full load of questions about Paris, the University, Music, Theaters...I was imagining how the city was in my mind. How glorious everything seemed in Paris, How brilliant, How one could do many things and not being yelled at it. Theaters....I looked at him, seated in front of me and I listened but I did not. I was dreaming. I was drunk and I think I smiled. I smiled like a fool. Paris....

Then we talked religion and how cynic he seemed to me on his beliefs and how bitter he was talking about it. He just lost his faith and that seemed to be creating him some turmoil. Me, I never believed n God. Never my family. We went to mass just becasue of duty. But I not even believed in God when I was at the Monastery, I just believed on the Priests and them teaching me. Nicolas had that swirl of passion and light when he spoke. I was truly enjoying that conversation.

Then we talked about the witches place. It still gave me chills to think about it but I remembered when that happened and I cried and my mother had to come and pick me up and she was all upset with the Priest for telling us all these stories. I smiled and I felt embarrassed about the thought but I was just a kid. I drank more wine to stop that moment. I knew he was studying me. I felt his eyes on me and I loved that. I think I loved him or so I thought but I was stopping myself on thinking or to say something like that out loud. Its the 18th century, It was a scandal and a sin and much more strange for two men to say they love each other.  I was very drunk so I thought it was just that.

And there came the unexpected after my thought. He leaned closer asking me if I was a werewolf for killing the wolves and I could not believe or actually express what I felt when he did that and touched the fur on my cloak that I was still wearing over my shoulders. It was a blurry vision yet so enchanting. I just didn't want him to stop talking. I wanted him to tell me everything. I never had a conversation like this with anyone. ever. To stop looking at me. I smiled then laughed.

I wanted to know so much from him, his stories, why he didn't believe in these things and why he did believe in these other things, why he thinks Paris was a hellhole, The Village is a hellhole... I'm a dreamer..Yes I am and I wanted him to understand me that everything can be like that bright yet I loved his cynicism.

"Ah, you are a dreamer!  "  he was delighted.  He was beyond handsome when he smiled.

"And I'll know people like you, " I went on, "people who have thoughts in their heads and quick tongues with which to voice them, and we'll sit in cafes and we'll drink together and we'll clash with each other violently in words, and we'll talk for the rest of our lives in divine excitement. " I was stupidly drunk and looking like a fool under his spell. I didn't care. I was so happy.

He reached out and put his arm around my neck and kissed me.  We almost upset the table we were so blissfully drunk.  "My lord, the wolfkiller " he whispered against my lips.

I can assure you I was completely lost. I didn't move, I stayed there while he was holding me. I was listening to his voice even if now he was kissing me. I saw him in my mind even if now my eyes were closed. I realized I was returning that kiss.

Someone knocking at the door, that woke me up from that moment. Behave. What the hell just happened. A kiss? The Inn keeper, more wine. He sat down again and we then started to talk about our lives, more privately. Our fathers, our siblings, or duties, beatings, pain, misery, and somewhat to find our own happiness on what we had, mine hunting and him playing music. I absolutely hate to open myself to that vulnerable level to anyone but I felt Nicolas understood and I was not yelled at it for expressing and so I understood on his when he explained about his life.

We both agreed on that conversation, we replied to each other with “Yes!” “Exactly!” “I know what you mean” and the more I opened to him, the more we shared about our live experiences, the more captivated I was. He was just like me. Nicolas had that own light and pain like I did. I looked into his eyes when he talked and I could see that frustration and furious look. His voice tone, his expressions and gestures. But he had that handsome smile when he spoke about music that made his eyes shone again. He understood, I understood and I knew we had that invisible connection and I realized that I needed him. I needed that conversation.

Holding all these thoughts and opinions in me now could be released, explained and understood. Yes he had a different point of view on some things but that made it perfect. That made us to have intense conversations yet to enjoy each others company. That’s why I loved him. Not only for his handsome look but for that deep soul search meaning in our conversations. I needed someone to talk to in my life, never was able to and he was there now. And I knew I was there for him as well. The feeling and need was mutual.

“Please play the violin for me” I begged

And he ran immediately to his home. Just across from the Inn. It was almost night and we never had supper, I didn't care. I laid on the bed, just thinking about that day. I did not want to the day to end. I felt I was happier than I had ever been in my life. I listened to his words in my mind once again and remembered him walking and talking and smiling...I found myself smiling to that.

He came back. I looked at him and smiled, still lying on bed. He stood in the middle of that small room and he bowed and smiled to me and I smiled back. I laid there with my hands under my head and he started playing. I was astonished about that sound. I stared at him and I could not believe that music that came from him and that instrument. It was peaceful, it was happiness, it was intense, it was him talking through that song. It was inexplicable what I felt. The demons in me dissipated with his song but I felt his delicate and frustrations in as well. It was us! Yes that songs was us!! It was part of our conversation!! Our pain and our happiness, our tears and dreams...yes thats what I felt!

I had my hands holding my head when he finished the song and he seemed worried about my expression. I went up and kissed him and the violin and I threw myself back to the mattress and I started to cry. I dont know why but I wanted to cry. It was a relief after listening to the song and that music, It was a relief for having him there, it was a relief for him understanding me, it was a relief for his company...I cried becasue of my past, becasue of my brothers and father, their beatings, my mother, the wolves, my miserable life...I cried becasue on him and his handsome smile, his music and this happy moment, and the wine and the night at the inn together. I released all that pain and frustrations I held inside of me for so very long time. I needed him, I craved to have someone like him my whole life and now I had his company and his music.

“Monsieur, what's the matter! “ he said

"Stop calling me Monsieur, " I said.  "Call me by my name”

I couldn't tell him why I why crying. And I hated the Monsieur, Lord...always did. This is just me, This is Lestat. I'm not a Lord I'm nothing here just me, this me, love me becasue this is me not the Lord. How much I wanted to say that and I I feel inside of me and just the thought of it made me cry even more.

He sat next to me and held me, he said nice things to me and he tried comfort me, he caressed my hair...How in the hell nobody did that to me before when I cried? Why? What was the reason I had never had physical contact with my family other than beatings? why the hell I did wrong? and I cried more thinking about that. That pain I felt in my chest becasue of my thoughts and for feeling him now close to me, holding me and telling me everything will be alright. His soft voice. There were no more jokes, there was no more wine. The room stood quiet but my sobs and his voice and the fireplace. I held his arm and I grabbed his shirt tightly. I didn't want to go or move, I could not. I wanted to stay there in that room, in his arms and I felt he understood and he never left my side.

Moments later, cant say how long it passed until I felt somewhat better, I think I finally stopped crying and I felt my eyes so puff and blurry it hurt opening them to look at the fireplace, I felt the warm and I felt his arms still around me. I finally passed out or I went into stupor becasue I could not remember anything else than flashes of moving, feeling cold, the night, a door, the castle, my room and darkness again...

Did he stay with me that night at the castle? I do not know. What he did when I passed out in my room? I do not know. I felt tired from all the emotions and the wine and I just slept. And the first thought as soon as my eyes opened the next morning, was him.

I suddenly awoke, the sun was out and it was so bright. I dont know how long I slept. I realized I was in my bed, still all dressed up with the cloak over my shoulders, the dogs by my side and I stood up quickly, splashed my face with cold water, I looked fair enough, went to the kitchen and found a bottle of wine and I went down to the Village not even thinking on hunting or anything else than to be with Nicolas, to talk to him, I needed it so very much.

And there I was standing in the crooked stone street in front of his father's shop, tossing pebbles up at his window.  When he stuck his head out, he looked at me with that swirl on happiness and his handsome smile, messy hair and I said with enthusiasm:  

 "Do you want to come down and go on with our conversation?  " I smiled to him. I felt so happy again.

I never expected, specially at that moment in my life, to have switched from grey days, misery, frustration and loneliness to light, smiles, understanding, company and love. He came to my life when I most needed it. when I was about to lose my mind. He came after all these nightmares and fears. I loved to talk to him about all these different things and beliefs, he has his point of view and opinions, which sometimes upsets me, on a good way for a good argument. We discussed different matters but that do not last more than a few minutes and there we are again, loving each other in our company and enjoying our conversations.

Nicolas is so cynic, so pessimist, but he had his reasons on these frustrations yet he has that unique light that I found so appealing. He could say the word “Spite” on every sentence. And me, I just could see a positive thing even on his words. There was always a way to find happiness on the misery and darkness we lived. Or at least thats what I learned from myself from all these years, alone, hunting and living with the misery. Now Nicolas was part of that happiness. My happiness. I spent so much time with him when I was not hunting. I needed his presence, I needed his opinions and our conversation even if we were not on the same page. Just two different point of views. We had each other and that helped us to get through our lives the best we could. Or at least I felt it that way...

#fanfic #mortal lestat #mortal nicolas #lestat and nicolas #Lestat De Lioncourt #nicolas de lenfent

[pinkykitten]

I was tagged by @writing-with-melon I hope my answers aren’t complete waste or if time and if so I’m sorry and I love you

Rules: Answer ten 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people

1. What song automatically plays in your head when you look out the window on a long drive? 

i dont really have an answer for this. i think i just automatically think about any song ive been listening to recently or any song that has been stuck in my head. 

2.  Do you have some snacks nearby when you write?

well i live in a two story house so the kitchen is downstairs and im usually lazy busy so since i have a mini fridge upstairs i just usually get water to drink while im writing. its kinda hard to eat and write cuz i loose focus really easily so when i am writing i am writing! i am in the zone! but if i am a little hungry ill usually snack on candy like chocolate kinder joys i love them but they r so expensive or snack on chips but i get like salt on my fingers or i like cheetos so cheetos dust and that just gets everywhere and later my hands and keyboard kinda smell like fart. 3. What do you do to combat creative burnout?

so burnout happens to me a lot so to get inspiration i either read other stories or fanfics which gets my head gears turning or i admire a piece of art or photography or a song. whats so unique and satisfying with writing you can explore and go anywhere with it, hehehe erotic if you know what i mean lol jk there are no barriers with writing just your imagination. there is inspiration any where you go and id advise to never stop writing. even if its a few short sentences or paragraphs about anything even bird poop its still progression and your mind is working and your searching for words like its all good for you bby.  4. Do you use (or like to use) prompts? 

i do ill put the link here. im thinking of changing it though to do something different. 

5. What is your favorite place to write?

lol boring, i know but my room. my room is really bright in the mornings and comfortable and chill and i have a candle of the pandora ride in disney that smells like the ride so its all good and relaxing and super peaceful plus i have a picture of myself the age of like 9 on my desk idk why but it encourages me and makes me focus to make sure i never get that cringy again. 

6. What is a hobby or yous that you usually don’t talk about?

well i like working out HAHAHAHAHA jk that was a joke...get it...cuz i much rather be eatingokillstop. but i really like to draw which i have a art page you can see it if you click here pls look at my failed attempts to be hip and cool with the cool kids and being artsy fartsy. another hobby is i really like to do makeup and nail art, nail art is really tough guys no joke if you do it like you got wizard powers are something. maybe its bc my nails are shorter than pete davidson and ariana grande’s relationship, alright im trying to stop i swear!

7. Do you play an instrument? Which one?

no i wish though. i always wanted to learn to either play the piano or electric guitar cuz H.E.R looks so cool doing it. 

8. How do you feel about your handwriting?

it sucks dont even try me. my sister can barely read it like no wonder nobody wants to steal my signature heck they can’t even read it!

9. Can you tell us of a story that marked your development as a person? As a writer?

ok sit back guys, sniff a nice amount of crack and get ready for the most cringy moment of my life but also a time when i knew i was meant to be *inhale* a fanfic writer. 

so it was elementary school, i think 3rd grade and for my writing assignment we were given a prompt of idk what the heck tbh i think it was like be outside the box and im like ok imma nail this cuz im a weird child and yeah so i got my papers and pencil and i went TO TOWN on this paper. so i wrote two stories. one short story with a picture to go with it and one long story that yeah i buried years ago. so my first story was about a farmer was about that farming life. he had chickens and dairy. so i cant remember if the cheese was spoiled but doesnt matter. anywho these cheese and a chicken were alive like they could talk in the story and i gave them faces, yikes. but the whole story was the farmer was a b*tch and he was trying to eat the chicken and cheese so they hatched a plan to get away from the farmer. they did it successfully and they ran away. yay happy ending my teacher actually liked that one me too and my school mates were thinking what they heck is this girl on i made a story about how me and justin bieber made cookies for Christmas you know. so then my other story i was more proud of this one cuz it was a tone of paper, sorry trees, and this story was about how a female hippo (girl i was all about plus size and thicker girls and no body shaming) and an male ostrich were kidnapped from their own habitats and taken to become circus animals. failed version of Madagascar hey mine was before the circus movie OK THEY STOLE IT FROM MEEEEE. so they get taken and are treated to harsh punishment and the animals can talk and i think its in the point of view of the male ostrich guy thing. they are in the circus and they start to have this relationship happening. love starts blossoming its all good. im happy with this cuz i believed in love at age of 8. they find a way thru a kick butt scene of the animals escaping and the hippo and ostrich are so in love that they run away together and they have half hippo half ostrich babies and i think i named the species  hipstrich or like ostppo idk but i was so proud of this story and when my teacher read it she was worried about me lol i think she thought i might like mate these two animals like secretly idk but she was like it was ok and i was like what this is frickin William Shakespeare writing or like F. Scott Fitzgerald writing. nevertheless it taught me a lesson that nobody else needs to like what im writing the main point and only thing that matters is if your proud of it and you like it and i really did. i will remember that story forever and thats what made me want to be a writer. lol sorry that was a lot. 

10. @emdop I’m going to use this great question: Explain one of your WIPs in the most ridiculous way possible. 

wellllll im working on my peaky blinders oc story its a lot of drugs money killing weapons jewelry rich profanities like its the show but written from my stubby hands so my oc and whatever its great and so excited to show it to you guys. 

MY QUESTIONS:

1. WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO START TUMBLR?

2. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING OF THIS WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

3. WHAT QUALITY IS IMPORTANT TO YOU?

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OUTFIT?

5. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?

6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

7. IF YOU COULD VISIT A PLACE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?

8. WHAT SHOW OR MOVIE UNIVERSE WOULD YOU WANT TO BE IN?

9. WHAT IS THE SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?

10. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE IN THIS WORLD THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

im tagging: @thatlittlered, @ardentmuse, @acciosnapes, @lotsoffandomimagines, @collecting-stories, @blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms, @naughtyneganjdm, @lenahellgizibe and two random followers @spiritsent, @sucker-for-my-fandoms

i was tagged by @writing-with-melon again ty btw, ps i felt so much pressure lol jk 😊

Rules: Answer 5 questions, Ask 5 questions, Tag 5 people.

1. What is your favorite book?

fifty shades of grey hahaha naw my favorite book is obv you all know this is series of unfortunate events but i never usually cry period and i never cry for books ever so when i read mrs. tom thumb by melanie benjamin, its the part when her sister minnie dies i cried so hard idk it was just emotional the wording the way she described her pain it was so beautiful written yet so sad and that was just amazing to me cuz im like this book made me feel things and im like wow i would love to write a book one day and make someone feel something whether it be sadness anger happiness annoyance anything they are having an emotion and that is super powerful to do that with just words. pls go check out that book its a good read. also im a fan of the greatest showman so i really enjoyed it. there are many other books tho that i thoroughly enjoy so much. 

2. What piece that you’ve written are you most proud of?

oh my god ive always wanted to be asked this question hands down i am always proud of my platonic gender neutral tony stark fic called in·con·sol·a·ble window to me i wrote it so sad and i was feeling like depressed lol when i saw peter die in infinity war like i didnt know what to do with my life tbh but im so glad that @impetrichorny requested it tysm i just like how its not based on romance or fluff or happiness it is based on when you lose someone the nightmares and sadness you go through and that there is nothing nobody can do about it except just be there for that person so i really like writing angst and something that was out of the box. ive been thinking tho of doing a part two since the fate of all the characters has changed after endgame. who knows tho. 

3. What is the last song that inspired you? 

well for art it would have to good news by mac miller when i did that kobe bryant memorial on my art page. i dont want to give it away though but ill just say some very powerful womens music inspired my oc writing and making. 

4. How do you feel about letting people read what you write?

at first i was scared cuz i thought i wrote like trash which that feeling kinda doesnt go away like some days i feel that way others i feel confident or it depends on the request it just depends but anyways i was always insecure about my writing so when i started writing it was more like lets see how this goes if not ill delete the whole page. im glad to say it went great but in the begging it was hard cuz i kept putting myself down but i learned to accept or just understand that you keep learning with writing you always learn knew things with writing how you can explain something better or you words get more intricate and people see the improvement and you do too thats why i applaud those who dont speak english that english isnt their first language. you are doing a tremendous job and keep practicing cuz you’re gonna make it to the top. ive also learned that some days are not my days and you can take time off when youre not feeling it when you have writers block. just recollect your juices sip some tea go to the beach relax your mind a little and take as long as you need to come back and give it your all. also comments and reblogs and likes a follows those meant so much to me and encouraged me. thats why i cant express it enough how much all those mean to writers, artist, photographers, anybody who is truly trying their hard in this area of social media. its makes a person happy smile and confident in their writing but first train your mind into loving what you make not what others thing. you have to be happy with the outcome that is what truly matters and what makes your writing the best. look at me getting philosophical. 

5. Do you get distracted easily? If yes with what?

yes and with porn haha i get distracted easily like very easily homeschooling was really tough for me. music distracts me, netflix, the urge to watch david dobrik or unus annus or buzzfeed unsolved on youtube, heck my farts distract me. i gotta be like troy bolton i gotta get my HEAD IN THE GAME!

MY QUESTIONS:

1. IF YOU COULD BE NAMED SOMETHING ELSE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE NAMED?

2. WHAT PERSON INSPIRES YOU THE MOST?

3. IF YOU KNEW THE WORLD WAS ENDING TOMORROW WHAT WOULD YOU DO TODAY?

4. WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT IN THE SHOWER?

5. WHATS YOUR WEIRD COMBINATION FOOD?

im tagging: @thatlittlered​, @ardentmuse​, @acciosnapes​, @lotsoffandomimagines​, @collecting-stories​ AND WHOEVER WANTS TO DO THIS IF YOU FOLLOW ME OR LIKE MY STORIES TAG ME ILL READ YOUR ANSWERS. HOPE I DID THIS RIGHT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING MWUAH 

#ask #@writing-with-melon #rambles #writing #tips on writing #unus annus #david dobrik #netflix #buzzfeed unsolved #peaky blinders oc #kobe bryant #mac miller #tony stark #peter parker #the greatest showman #tom thumb #troy bolton #zac efron

[spooks-can-write]

The Babysitter

Nestor x Reader

Summary: Emily hires you to babysit Cristobal (this is apart from the actual tv series events) and you and Nestor have some...tension. im bad at summaries ok.

Warnings: no smut just tension lmao. Cursing. Some predatory behavior, nothing beyond that.

Word count: idk tbh its longER tho bc i cant be short im s o r r y.

Hope yall enjoy 💞

The door chimed as you walked into the coffee shop, immediatley seeing Emily beam as she saw you made you loose a tension you didnt know you were holding. After leaving your last job abruptly you had been busy trying to get your shit together and through the struggle you were glad to take a break to see your old babysitter and childhood friend Emily.

"Hey (y/n)!" She stood up, you noted motherhood suited her well. She seemed more at peace now.

"Hey Em!" You looked down to see Cristobal sweetly sleeping in his noteably expensive stroller.

"So..." she seemed eager "I was talking with Miguel and we know you're...well...looking for a new job and place to stay so we thought it'd be perfect if you stayed with us as Cristobals full time nanny."

You were caught off gaurd to say the least "Oh, uh that does sounds great but i dont have any experience really."

"Dont worry well figure it out and ill be there in the beginning till you settle in. Trust me."

You thought you didnt have many other places to go either way and being in a stable enviornment would be good for a change. Fuck it.

"When can i start?"

Nannying was going better than you thought. It helped that Cristobal was more than well behaved but also you kind of had a knack for it. Not to mention the mansion Emily lived in. The only problem from time to time was that asshole with the cornrows. He always blatantly ignored you or just stared at you until you left the room. You thought long and hard about what you did to piss him off and couldnt think of a single thing, so you decided he was just an asshole.

You needed to check with Miguel about taking Cristobal to the park, going to his office you just found Nestor standing next to an empty desk.

"Where is Miguel?"

He didnt respond.

"Where.Is.Miguel?" You ask with more attitude than you meant.

He blinked like he didnt understand.

"Nestor!" You raised your voice

"He stepped out. He'll be back in 10." His calm tone didnt match yours. You instantly felt embaressed to have been rude. Shit.

"Thanks" you walked out wishing you had been more calm

--------------------------

When you walked in he looked up, thinking it was miguel, to see you. You were wearing that new top he liked. It hugged your curves. The sun was hitting your face making you glow.

Fuck you were beautiful. He wanted to shove the chair out of the way and grab you and kiss you more than he ever wanted anything he knew he couldnt have.

Shit. You looked mad.

"Nestor!"

He gathered his thoughts

He watched you walk out. His stomach twisted that you seemed mad at him. Fuck.

----------------------

They were supposed to be gone all day so you were walking around the house, bouncing and humming a hymn to Cristobal in your pjs. He slowly fell asleep as you walked around the stairs to the den, you stopped dead.

You were met with the eyes of Miguel, Devante, Nestor, and a fair skinned man with a lot of jewlery and a shit eating grin as his eyes obviosuly roamed your body. You were just wearing a little bit too short of shorts and a tank top that cristobals sleepy hand was tugging down. You felt your stomach twist and cheeks flush.

"Sorry-I I didnt know anyone was home, he was getting fussy so.." you trailed off as Miguel stood up giving you a look you couldnt read. You looked over to Nestor and he looked upset.

"Dont worry mija we were just finishing up." Miguel said, like he meant it.

"Actually" the strange man stood, still undressing you with his eyes. It was starting to piss you off.

"Miguelito i think we should wait till my party next saturday to...finalize this deal huh?" He said with that same grin.

"Por supuesto" miguel said as he ushered the man to the other side of the room, talking to each other in spanish too quiet for you to decipher.

You felt stuck in your place. You focused on Cristobals breath against your chest. Trying to let it calm you. You noted more of the man. He looked dangerous. Emily told you Miguel was a international businessman and you believed her till you came here. You werent stupid enough to ask exactly what he did but you also werent stupid enough to believe he was just a businessman either.

The men came back and stood in front of you for a beat.

"Hey listen im really sorry i thought everyone was gone-" you started

"No worries chiquita, but do you have a passport?" Devante asked, eyebrow raised

-----------------------------

"Well if im being whored out i mine as well look good right?" You said smoothing down the soft rose gold satin dress as Emily and Dita sang your praises.

"How many times do i have to tell you (y/n) he just told Miguel he wanted to see you at the party, hes not going to do anything and we won't let him anyways." Emily reassured you, doing your hair.

"You're a part of the family now mija, this is our job as the women." You knew that comment was true, you saw it with your own eyes and that made it sting even more.

You were doing it for the sake of Emily and her family you told yourself. Plus you did look amazing in the dress.

You tugged at the zipper of the dress, it wouldn't budge.

"Hey em, can you-" you turned to see nestor at the door.

"I can if you want" his voice was gentle. Not that he was ever callous with you but it felt deliberate.

"Yeah sure" you half whispered, surprised it got caught in your throat.

He walked over. You moved your hair in front as he gently pulled the zipper up. Touching it when he was done. You turned.

"Listo?" He asked

You nodded, following. Feeling a flutter in your chest.

The drive to mexico was beautiful and serene. You mind did wander to Nestor and how sweet he was to you. You wondered if it was a fluke. Maybe he felt sorry for you. You tried not. to feel sorry for yourself.

You arrived to what looked like a castle. It had the guards with machine guns and everything. You found humor in that, as the situation sank in, you weren't scared.

It you were honest with yourself even when Nestor was cold to you, you always felt safe with him.

You all got out of the car, you last, as Nestor helped you onto the uneven stones. It'd been a minute since you wore heels.

"Dont worry." He leaned down to talk close to you, squeezing your hand. You met his smile.

The music was loud as you walked in. People were dancing and the mariachis were amazing. You were thankful to sit next to emily and dita. You felt eyes on you from men and their wives. You tugged your dress up. Definitley not the most revealing at the party but apparently it was enough.

"Its because you are not married" Dita told you, a comforting hand on your shoulder. "They are jealous" She smiled. It didnt make you feel better. You tried to focus on the drink in front of you.

The man from the house yelled joyfully and drunkenly in spanish and started walking toward the table. The men quickly stood up and met him halfway. Ushering him into a private room smoothly. Not before you made eye contact and he winked. You held your shudder.

The night went on and you found yourself almost having fun and forgetting the dangerous people around you.

You went to the bathroom as Devante and Dita danced.

You were looking for the bathroom when you felt a heavy hand on your waist. You jumped and turned. It was the man.

"Hello pretty women" he said with a accent slurred with the smell of strong alcohol that pinched your nose.

You backed up to find yourself against a wall. You started to look for a way out but his hand got harder on your waist, moving to hold your hip.

He leaned in speaking breathy spanish against your ear you couldnt understand on your best day. You took the opportunity to side step, noticing his henchmen about 10 ft away watching, glocks on their hips. The situation sank your stomach. You wouldnt be getting out of here.

"(Y/n) ive been looking everwhere for you." Dita shuffled past the man grabbing your arm and pulling you away. "Miguel needs to talk with you." She said louder than necesarry.

You were at a near jog down the hall. She stopped and turned you when you were safely away but not into the main area.

"Are you okay mija?" She held your hand. You felt tears welling.

"Men like that will ways exist and here, you will find them in abundance. It's important to stay close to us. They prey on the lone wolf okay?" You nodded. She wiped the tear you didnt know you shed.

She stayed with you till you calmed down.

"Brave face mija" she said as you walked back into the room, back to the table. Nestor and miguel were there looking directly at you, worried, trying to read your face. You forced a smile. Understanding what being in this family meant. It wasnt good. It wasnt bad. It was just your life now.

Nestor quickly sat next to you. Emily eyeing you, sympathetically. They were all too smart to not put together what happened. She touched your thigh, you flinched. She removed it. You could see she made a heartbroken face out the corner of your eyr but you couldnt bring yourself to meet her eyes.

"Im okay i promise. Just..shook up" you were honest. She nodded. You knew she felt terrible.

The night continued. Nestor wanted to kill him and he knew how he would do it. He shared looks with Miguel. He shook his head. Not yet. The second you walked out, holding ditas arm like it was the only thing keeping you up his stomach twisted. Rage ran down his back.

When he didnt see that bastard Diego and didnt see you, his mind raced and he was about to go down the hall to kill that fuck when Dita grabbed him.

"You can't. It has to be me." She didnt have to explain. He knew why. It killed him to turn around and walk away from the situation as his mind let dark thoughts in of what he was doing to you.

He kept looking at you, he could see you trying to be brave but under the table your leg was shaking and you were fidgeting with your hands.

"Come outside with me baby" he leaned over so only you could hear him.

You looked over at him standing with his hand out. You were thankful. Did he just call you baby? It sounded good coming out of his mouth.

You took his hand. It was calloused and strong. It calmed you down almost instantly as he led you outside. When people saw him coming they almost fell over themselves to move out of your way.

The cool air felt good on your flushed cheeks. He let go of your hand and led you to the balcony. You leaned on it, embracing the night air.

"Its really beautiful out here, all things considered." You chuckled.

He looked worringly at you, "Thank you Nestor." You grabbed his arm.

Fuck, his name sounded so good in your mouth.

"You're welcome." He watched as you leaned against the balcony. He wanted to touch you, tell you, youre beautiful but after what happened thats not what you needed and he knew it.

-------------------

You stayed like that for awhile, in each other's silence. The muffled sound of the mariachis relaxing you.

You felt your eyes getting heavy.

"Dont get tired now its not even 1am yet." You looked over, surprised he noticed.

"Maybe we can just stay out here all night then." You smiled at him.

Fuck he would do just about anything you asked. Crawl on glass in the snow, change your oil, anything as long as you kept smiling at him like that.

"But it's probably best to go inside right?" You sighed.

"I think so."

You grabbed his arm as you walked in, holding onto him and keeping your eyes on the table.

Time passed and you struggled to stay awake, you leaned on Nestor's shoulder without thinking, you froze. He moved over to make you more comfortable, moving his arm around you but not too much. You snuggled in. Damn he smelled good too. You closed your eyes, feeling people looking. Fuck em.

You were stirred up by Nestor rubbing your upper arm "hey, hey, time to go."

You stirred, never really falling asleep but not present for the end. Everyone was filing out slowly.

Nestor was looking over to Miguel and Diego. He shook Miguel's hand. He didn't look away as he put his coat over your shoulders and walked you all out.

You noticed Emily smirking at you, making eyes at Nestor's jacket around you.

You tried to open your mouth

"-Ah." She cut you off. "You don't need to tell me anything." She smiled.

You smiled back, happily getting in the warm car and doozing on and off on the way home, catching Nestor look at you in the rearview mirror made you blush.

You all made your way inside as you felt the emotional fatigue of the day in your legs.

Nestor was waiting by the front door. Not for you it seemed. Just taking a moment.

"Can i be out here with you for awhile?" You asked, ready for him to say anything.

"Yeah."

"Thanks for tonight, for taking care of me."

"I know you can take care of yourself (y/n). I just didn't want you to feel alone out there." He spoke softly, sitting next to you.

You stared at his face for the first time it seemed. He was beautiful. You dared to glance down at his lips.

He followed your eyes. He wouldn't move qn inch on you tonight. He didnt want to chance pushing you but fuck did he want you so bad.

You weren't used to initiating, you could see he wanted you but wouldnt move. You closed the distance, stopping just short to see if he'd react.

His head just barely titled up towards you, you took it and kissed him, you being the one to take control felt good. You wondered if he was usually like this.

He was gentle and sweet and you found yourself appreciating it tonight. You grabbed his face and you deepened the kiss.

You felt brave and stood up and sat down to straddle him. He grunted in the back of his throat as you grabbed his braid he moved his hands to hold your thigh and ass.

The kiss slowed down and he smiled into it. You laughed, dropping your head into his shoulder, touching your lips.

"Wow uh-" you got off him, laughing with him.

"Yeah" he laughed, grabbing your hand. "Let's go inside."

He dropped you off at your room which felt cute and a little ridiculous. It was fitting.

Words failed you and it seemed to him, as well.

"Goodnight." He said softly again.

"Good night Nestor." You replied closing your door, silently congratulating yourself for not dragging him into your room.

Whatever, give it a week. You smiled.

#this has been on my mind #hope yall like it as much as i love nestor #he's so fine and so underrated yall #show my mans some love he needs it #nestor oceteva #nestor oceteva imagine #Nestor oceteva x reader #mayans imagine #mayans x reader #mayans fic #mayans one shot #mayans smut

[boy-who-never-grew-up]

MGG smut plz dont read this

“Oh what-can-it mean to a daydream believer and a homecoming queen“ I sing as the songs ends “Cheer up sleepy jean”

Claps come from the drunken maybe 30 or so people at the karaoke bar. I take an overzealous bow and try to keep my balance. The room spins slightly as I stand straight up. The DJ loudly announces the next singer and song as I walk back to my group of friends. They give another drunken round of applause and compliments all around, even though I really butchered the last verse in “Sleepy Jean”. I feel my best friend yank on my arm and pull me closer to her face.

“Look who came in half way through..” She pointed vaguely across the bar at a group of people, none of which whom I knew. “Tonight is your night, I told you. Did I not?”

As she talks eagerly in my ear, I look deeper into the crowd. I remain unsure of what the fuck she’s talking about. I quickly sweep over and over again, looking for a familiar face, but I find none.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I stop her mid-ramble.

“It’s what’s his nuts... You know from the show you watch- not Law & Order the other one... What’s his fuckin’ name the tall cute one.” She yells into my ear, as if I’ll understand her better the louder she is.

“Matthew Gray Gubler?” I ask.

“YES! I knew his name, damn. Yes! He’s here, he walked in half way through your song.” She excitedly gets her point across and tugs on my arm.

“No fucking way, you’re wrong.” I scoff at her.

There’s no way he’s here. I try to look again, but now there are more people at the bar in the way of whoever was there before. She pulls me about two feet to our left and positions our heads just right and points across the room; much more specific now.

On the other side of the room, by the bar and near the wall, I see a man with curly hair with a drink in his hand by his mouth, but like he was too enthralled with what his response would be to whoever is talking to him so he couldn’t take a drink. He smiled wide as he listened, and I watched for a second or two as he gave his response, they both laughed, and he finally took a drink. 

“Fack.” I spoke bluntly “Fucking shit dude.”

“You have to talk to him, I’m not giving you the option. This is happening.” My friend spoke, still attached to my arm with excitement. 

“He’s probably here with someone.” I immediately excuse.

“He’s literally not. Oh my- listen, all you gotta do is talk to him. The worst that happens is you get turned down.” She refutes “This is a one time chance, and you’ll regret it if you don’t do it”

Anxiety rises in my chest through my stomach as I watch him and his friends move to the open pool table. I feel like my fucking mouth is sweating and like there’s no way that I’m gonna be able to go over there and say anything to him.

“Plus, you’ve been saying you wanna try to hoe it up a little. this is the perfect time. Vacation, bar, pretty guy.” She grabs my chin and turns my face to her to make demanding eye contact “You look extremely hot tonight. Your ass- looks great in those jeans, I cant stop staring. Literally, everywhere we have been I’ve had to keep the guys off of you. You’re the one in charge here.”

She speaks with such confidence and power. She raises her eyebrows at me as if to say “Are you gonna go fucking do it?” So I take a big huff and ball up my fists and turn to start walking over. I’m suddenly feeling how actually drunk I am, and if I wasn’t so drunk, that would make me nervous that I’m gonna look like a complete idiot. I suddenly realize that I have no game plan and the drink I’m holding is just ice at this point. I’m about ten feet away and there’s no stopping because it is now very clear that I was actively making my way across the room to this specific spot. I’m physically shaking at this point where I walk up right behind him as he leans over the pool table. I watch as he misses his shot and stands back up. I take a deep breath and let it out as I step up next to him and look up to smile.

“Hi.” I say, hopefully loud enough for him to hear.

“Oh, hello.” He says back to me and smiles.

There’s silence for a second, he looks back to his friends taking their turns, and back to me.

“Can I buy you a drink?” I blurt out, after what seems like holding it in for minutes in silence.

“Ah,” He looks at his half empty drink and back to me “Sure. You heading to the bar?” 

He points to the bar, and honestly, I’m just surprised I made it this far.

“Yeah!’ I respond, trying to keep my cool.

We both take off in direction of the bar and I am mentally trying to sober myself up to walk a straight line. As we reach the bar, he turns to me and immediately reaches out his hand to shake it.

“I’m Matthew.” 

I shook his hand and gave him my name with a smile. 

“What are you drinking?” I ask him, pointing to his drink.

“Ah, whatever seasonal beer this is.” He twists his bottle to look at the label, and then turns it for me to see as well “What about you?”

“Gin and tonic.” I say and raise my drink a little.

“Oh, wow. You look really young for a sixty year old dad.” He dead pan says to me.

My jaw drops with a hint of a smile. I feel a wave of peace come over me as we both laugh and I defend my drink choices. 

“Cheap beer seems to get the job done for me.” He says and takes another drink.

“I can’t help that I just have a refined palette.” I tease.

He nods towards his friends to gesture that we I follow him, as he turns to walk back to his friends.

“Are those your friends?” He points to the group of girls I came with who are now walking up to do a karaoke song together.

“Oh gosh, they really are drunk.” I say as “Ice Ice Baby” comes on over the speakers.

He laughs and leans down slightly to say to me “Are you not?”

I giggle and turn to look at him as I say “I mean yeah, but not group Ice Ice Baby drunk.”

He smiles at me and grabs the pool stick he had earlier and steps up to take his shot.

“They’re about to fuckin’ kill it though just watch.” I add in.

He misses his shot, hands the pool stick to his partner, then grabs his friends attention and introduces me to them and vice versa. I smile and wave extra awkwardly and sip at my drink which is starting to only taste like lime and not gin.

“Are you gonna do another song?” He crosses his arms and looks at me before looking back at my friends going hard to “Ice Ice Baby”.

“Uh, yeah I think so. I’m still trying to decide what song I wanna do.” 

I watch as my friends start to get sloppy at the mic and laugh a little. Matthew speaks to me again, but this time he’s much closer than before. He cranes down a little to listen and speak to me.

“What are your choices?” He asks.

I dare not turn to look at him lest his face be close enough for me to analyze under the dim bar lights and see the color of his eyes. I keep my eyes on the group of girls at the front rapping their hearts out.

“I’m thinking What’s Up by 4 Non Blondes or maybe I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston.” I say loudly.

“Ooh, throw backs. I love it.” I can hear his laugh much clearer now 

“You should do 4 Non Blondes, if you care what I think.” He adds that last part as he stumbles over his recommendation.

Smart. Also, good suggestion. I smile and nod.

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” I say coolly and step forward to walk to the DJ.

I’m freaking out that I’m actually maintaining this casual courtship so fuckin’ well. He seems to want to talk to me, which is amazing, and I’m not tripping over my feet or stumbling over my words. I can feel my cheeks tighten as I smile walking towards the DJ booth. I wait as the last song finishes and I am handed a mic to head out. All through the song, all I can think is that he’s watching me. Normally I like the attention, but right now I feel nervous-like when you’re forced to participate in something as a child. I try to relax and get into the song. I close my eyes and after awhile it’s just me and the music. I do my best, even give a little bit of a performance. I do another bow as the song ends and smile. I look up to see him standing in the back smiling and clapping. My heart races as he smiles wider when my eyes catch his. I hand the mic back to the DJ and walk back towards him. I left my drink at his table, irresponsible around strangers I know, but I had felt like I needed a reason to come back to him. I walk past my table and give one friend a high five and my best friend smacks my butt as I pass. She grabs my arm and stops me before I walk away.

“If we all need to crash in their room so you can have our room at the hotel, that’s fine. I can stay with them tonight. I am in all support of this.” She whispers in my ear.

I smile and thank her for her kind idea as I continue my walk back towards that tall tall man. 

“Hey! That was great!” he perks up as I near him.

Nervously, he raises his hands and I don’t think initially he knew what he was doing, but I didn’t either. We both end up double high fiving and then awkwardly looking away because we both knew that was so fucking stupid. I grab my drink and make sure to thank him for the compliment before I sip. 

“What did your friend say into your ear? Looked like she was gonna rip your arm off.” He says as he finally turns back to me.

I take a breath and turn back to him to make eye contact.

“She heavily implied some very inappropriate things.” I smile and take another drink.

“Oh! That’s super awesome.” He says blankly. 

“She’s very set and steady that I take you back to my hotel tonight.” I said honestly “However, I literally have never gone up to a man and bought him a drink at a bar and I’m just not sure that I could really get myself to a place that I could do that.”

“Well, you’ve already done the hard part right? Taking initiative. I’ve never had a girl by me a drink before, surprisingly. I’ve had some ask if I could buy them a drink. So, it’s a first time for me too.” He reassures me.

“Is that something that you would want to do? Take me to your hotel room?” He says as he sets his beer at the table with my drink and leans on it, facing me directly.

“I’m not really sure. I feel like there’s so much to disclose before something like that but the bar isn’t the best place to do it.” I reply honestly.

He scrunches his nose and nods “I totally get it. I don’t feel like I have to tell you but, you don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do.”

“Well,” I start before taking a sip of my drink “Is that something you would want to do? Go back with me?” 

“Do you wanna have another drink? We could sit down when I’m done with this pool game.” He replies.

“Actually, I need to drink some water.” I shrug “I have to make ‘responsible decisions’“ 

I pfft my tongue at that and smile. 

“Who says?” He laughs as he responds.

“I do, actually.” I blush and look down at my drink, away from his smiling face.

“Well, do you wanna sit down over a couple waters then?” He suggests.

I look back at him and smile and nod. I wait as he finishes the pool game, every so often coming back and standing by me to talk to me. Occasionally, my friends would wave me down and give me extremely obvious thumbs up and gestures to check my phone.

I roll my eyes and give in and check my phone.

:“you need the room or nah? we tryna to head back”

I huff and look up at Matthew. It couldn’t hurt right? It’s once in a lifetime thing, I  have to.

:”I think so, but we’re gonna hang out a lil more”

:”k we’ll get anotha drink then call the lyft.”

:”Okay”

I set my phone down on the table and look up to the opposing team taking the winning shot. Matthew drops his shoulders and pouts for a second, but quickly moves on to come stand by me.

“I’ll be right back.” He says and sets his half empty bottle down at the table and walks towards the bar.

I fidget with my nails as I wait, nervously. He seems sweet, and he seems to be just as awkward as me. As confident as it must seem to offer him a drink, I feel so small and dumb. He clearly came here with his friends to play pool and now I’ve ruined that. 

As I worry through my thoughts, he comes back to the table and sets down two large glasses of ice water. Luckily, he’s good at sparking questions and the conversation went on pretty well. He’s very awkward but somehow it makes me feel comfortable. We talk about pets and coffee and youtube videos and it goes well. Really, not what I had expected from trying to pick someone up from a bar. He asks for pictures of my pets and of course I show him. We talk about classic rock and our favorite bands. Comparing oldies and swooning over Bright Eyes. We sip through the remainder of our drinks and keep going on about music. At about a third of water left, somehow religion gets brought up religion and other beliefs. At water empty, it started getting deep. Bringing up childhood trauma and dealing with death. 

I look over at my friends and they are standing around as if they’re waiting. I dismiss myself quickly and head over to them.

“Hey, you guys can go...” I interrupt.

Shrieks of shock and joy come from them but I try to shush them as much as possible.

“Listen, I’m not promising anything will happen. But, I’m going to stay and chat with him a bit. I’ll get another Lyft.” 

They all smile and tease me. I give them hugs and send them off as they spew warnings about men and encourage me to have fun.

“Looks like you missed your ride.” I jump as Matthew speaks next to me.

“Oh, uh yeah. They’re gonna head out, I just wanted to hang out a little more...” I excuse.

“Those things you wanted to disclose... “ He turned to look at me “We can get an Uber, is that a good place to talk?”

My heart thumps through my chest as I look him in the eyes. He has another cup of water in a paper cup in his hand and the Uber app open in his other.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, that would be fine.” I stumble out.

“Are you sure? I mean, we can just share the ride back nothing has to happ-”

“Yes, I would like to. I want to.” I cut him off.

“Cool, well, we have like fifteen minutes until the Uber is here. Did you want another water?” He offers the cup in his hand with a smile.

“Sure, thanks.” I say as I take the cup.

We both kind fall silent as we wait. Like everything to be said here at the bar has been said. The next dialogue is to be in the car. The disclosure. We’re in the loading screen. I spend a little time peeing in the bathroom and checking my makeup. The rest I spend internally panicking. Not in a “I don’t wanna do this” way but more like “There’s no way this is really happening” way. Occasionally, we would catch each others eye contact and blush and smile. It feels good to know that he is just as nervous as I am.

*In the car*

“Let’s disclose this foreclosure!” Matthew declares as we get on the road.

“I don’t think that makes sense.” I tease.

“Yeah, y’know I tried. You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, yeah I know what you mean.” I mumble.

The car is so quiet compared to the bar. The late night empty roads seem deafeningly silent. I try not to look him in the eye again. There’s so much I want to say, but how does one even say them?

“So?....” He starts.

“So?” I stall.

“What did you wanna talk about?” He pushes.

“I’m not... Well, I’ve never just hooked up with someone.. I guess.. Like, outside of a relationship, and just really have never had an experience that I was satisfied with. There’s so much I want, but I’ve never had someone to give that to me, y’know.” I can feel that I’m definitely still pretty buzzed and saying things is coming rather easy once the first word comes out.

He smiles as he watches me explain my predicament.

“Yeah, I’m not really one to really go home with people from bars either so we’re on the same boat there.” He reassures me.

I can see his eyes watching me intently. Watching my lips intently. As I talk I feel my words being seen. He licks his lips once as he listens.

“I just feel like, if I’m gonna hook up with someone, I should go all out right? Trying to mix your body with someone’s that you don’t even know seems complicated. I feel like it’s trial and error and time, and all I’ve ever been is dissatisfied.”

“Anything else?” He says quietly, still not breaking his stare.

At this point we’re both facing each other in the back seat, nearly dismissing the middle seat entirely.

“I don’t think I can promise I won’t catch feelings for you.” I say finally, letting out my breath as I do.

He pauses for a second, I don’t think he even breathes, but he says “I’m fine with that.”

Before I know it, the gap between us is closing. He moves in hastily like he’s been craving to kiss me. I bring my hand to his cheek and kiss him back. He lays one hand on my neck and the other on my hip as he almost pushes me back in my seat, hungrily stealing kisses. I hold his hand that lay on my neck and snake my other arm around his neck. We keep kissing as the ride goes on. Going back and forth between peppering kisses on each others lips to overwhelming amounts of open mouth exploration. His right hand slides down and over my chest, and though I’m holding his hand, I can tell he didn’t just move there for convenience. If I wasn’t buckled in, he would have me on his lap right now. Which is really where I wanted to be. 

The car ride felt both too short and too long. Making out in the backseat is a world I could get lost in. Ahead, in the hotel I need to be ready to get real. Making out in the backseat is easy and actually hooking up with someone is complicated. I could stay in this sweet bliss forever,.

As the car rolled up to the hotel doors, we parted lips. I go to pull away but he holds me in place for a moment.

“I want you to know... I promise I won’t disappoint you.” He tells me, softly and kindly.

After we get out of the car, Matthew runs around to meet me and we walk into the lobby together. Down the hall, away from the front desk, he grabs my hand and leads me. He kisses my hand before pulling me in to kiss me on the mouth again.

“Fuck, I really like kissing you.” He says as he smiles against my lips.

“We’re almost to the room.” I try.

“Which one is it?” He asks, in between kisses.

“Next one on the left.” 

“You have the key?” He asks, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer.

I push the key into his hand then, to my surprise, he literally sweeps me off my feet. Okay, maybe not literally. With his arm tightly around my waist, when he stands, my feet come off the floor. He unlocks the door and ushers us inside. He tosses the key card and drops me onto the edge of the bed. He plops down beside me and immediately grabs my face and begins kissing me again. Through this, he sloppily takes off the flannel he has on top of his pink t-shirt and tosses it across the room onto the desk. This time, he pushes his fingers back into my hair and I wrap my hands around his wrists. He pulls away to speak, but he stays close and doesn’t open his eyes. The glimpse of him that I catch he looks breathless. Like drinking a full glass of water after a drought.

“You said that there’s so much you want...” He says slowly “What do you want?”

“I don’t know,” I mumble “I’m all over the place man.”

He kisses me again before he speaks “How about...” Another kiss “I can start off, y’know, in charge...” Another kiss “And when you feel comfortable,” Another “You can do whatever you want..”

His kisses stray from my lips and down my chin. Over my my neck and to rest on my shoulder. Here stayed many, placed tenderly. I feel him rest his head against me, his hot breath wafting down my chest.

“We’ve got the room all night, right?”

My fucking heart stops. This won’t be disappointing.

“Yes.” I say in almost a whisper.

“Yes you want me to take charge or yes we have the room all night?” He sits upright, away from me.

My body reacts to him pulling away, too soon. I catch myself from reaching out after him. 

“Yes to both.” I agree.

“Sweet.” he nods “I have promises to fulfill.” 

He gently pushed me back to lay down, slowly looming over me as I do. His hand runs down my chest, my stomach, and to my hip. He leans down to kiss me, but only once before layering kisses down my chest to the edge of my shirt. He slides down to rest on his stomach and pushes my shirt up slowly, followed by a trail of kisses. He breathes slowly against my skin as the shirt moves higher and higher up my chest. I finally take the liberty of just removing the shirt to get it out of the way. He re-positions himself again, on his knees, leaning on his right arm and his other underneath me, reaching at the bra clasp. Just as I thought hungry Matthew was gone, he pulls the bra off completely and immediately presses his mouth to my chest. Wet, soft, and suckled kisses wander across my breasts and quickly turn to starved rough kisses and light bites of skin. He moves down over my stomach, taking time adjust to the curves and rolls of my body, before laying a fully contacted wet one onto my skin. 

At the top of my jeans he stops, resting his head against my skin and pulls at the sides of my pants.

“These looked great on you, but now they gotta go.” He mumbles.

Swiftly unbuttoning my pants, he continues to lay kisses on my exposed skin. He large hands pull at the sides of my jeans, this time successful, and pulled then down over my legs, off my feet, and tossed them to the floor. I feel the rumble as he lets out a whiny groan against my stomach. 

“Tell me to stop whenever.” He says as he pulls down my underwear, slowly, all the way off my legs.

“Please, don’t stop.” I say in a hushed voice, already ashamed of what I wanted from him.

I can feel him smile against my skin as he begins to press kisses to my thigh.

“I like that ‘please’.” He kisses further in, where leg meets body.

I feel his tongue glide up my bikini line and over the bare skin near my hips.The chill tickles me and my body tenses one degree more. He sits upright, still holding my leg, at the ankle now and rubs his other hand down my leg.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good, okay?” He asks softly “But I wanna hear you say please.” 

He kisses my ankle and holds his lips there, waiting for my response.

I pause for a moment, wondering what exactly I should say. A jumbled murmur of unfinished asks stream out of my mouth.

“Yes, please... I want you to. I want to. Please.”

“Fuck,” he whispers, lips still pressed to my ankle “don’t have to ask me twice”

I brace my nerves as he kisses up my leg and slides his tongue up into the folds of my pussy. He places a wet kiss at my clit before running his tongue down, around, and inside me. I hide my face with my arms, and try to steady my breath. I feel his arm that’s not wrapped around my thigh slide up my stomach and his hand grasps mine.

“Hey,” he pulls his mouth away from my wetness, and kisses my tummy once “Uncover your face.”

He pulls my hand away from my face and intertwines his fingers into mine.

“I want you to look at me.” He says, with sweet nurturing eyes as he leans his cheek against my thigh.

He kisses my leg with the side of his mouth as I take a breath and uncover my face to meet his eyes. He never breaks eye contact as he goes back down on me. I watch intently, trying to control my facial reactions, as he utilizes his whole tongue and head movements to pleasure me. I can’t help but whine as I watch him so intently do his best to make me feel good. Every time his tongue touches my clit, I flinch and tense, leaving behind a trail of “Oh”s and “Ah”s. I try desperately, but it’s so hard to keep my eyes on his when all I want to do is close my eyes and lean my head back. Not to mention, it feels so vulnerable, him watching me as I come undone. As I feel a tension in my stomach begin to rise, I hide my face once more with my free hand. I feel his touch get lighter and I can hear his soft pleading voice, in between sweet sultry kisses.

“Relax, okay?” he begs me.

I nod, still hiding my face and mumble “I know, I’m just embarrassed.”

“Hey,” he whispers once again as he hovers up to kiss my face.

“I love this,” his hand that holds mine pulls down over his jeans and atop his hardening cock “Trust me. Please don’t be embarrassed.”

He lets go of my body and stands upright on his knees. I watch as he slowly lifts his shirt over his head and off his body. He tosses it to the ground and quickly undoes his pants. He pushes them down and awkwardly struggles to get them all the way off, and even more so as he tries to toss them away. I giggle a little as I watch him. Even on his knees he towers over me but he’s so soft that it’s calming. When he finally draws his attention back to me, a big smile crosses his face. We both take a second to just laugh a little. He licks his lips, and my eyes start to wander down his body. His sharp shoulders and thin frame. The muscles on his arms tense in pulses and his hands, making their way back to my body, feel like they encompass all of my skin whole. I can feel every joint in his skinny hands as as squeezes my waist a few times before descending back to my body.

His mouth quickly goes back to work, kissing my pussy like he was so desperately kissing my mouth earlier. I let myself watch him, but I let myself enjoy it too. I watch his bare shoulders and neck, tensing every time he moves his head. I let out a shaky moan as he hums against my core and loudly makes out with my body. My moans grow louder with every flick of his tongue and it sets me off more when I hear him begin to moan from his own pleasure he derives from getting me off. Any sense of fear and holding back, leaves me body as I can feel the energy rising within me. Finally, I tangle my fingers in his messy curly hair and hope he doesn’t mind that I pull on it as he begins to bring me to my climax.

“Oh, oh.” I whine “Don’t stop, please don’t stop.”

He laughs between strokes of his tongue and continues the movement he was doing, but slightly faster than before. I ball my fists in his hair and cross my ankles on his back. My hips begin to lightly roll against his face and the sound of him begins to fade way in a mess of my own cries. His left hand comes around and pulls my hand from his hair and intertwines our fingers. My legs tense around his head as I spill over unto ecstasy in a heap of praise and a chorus of “Yes, yes, yes!”. When I squeeze my hand around his, he squeezes back and I don’t let go until I can finally relax and let my breath flow.

I let out breathy whines as he kisses up my torso and back to my lips. He kisses me like before and I can taste myself on his tongue.

“Fuck,” he says between kisses “You’re amazing.”

“You definitely didn’t disappoint.” I whisper in his ear as a tease and leave a kiss at the top of his jawline.

I begin to kiss his neck, and it’s salty from the small sweat he worked up pleasuring me.

“Well, I’m not done yet.” He mumbles, clearly distracted by my kisses.

He pulls himself closer to me, his chest on mine, and I can feel his erection underneath his underwear. I can’t help but moan, knowing that he’s hard from eating me out and feeling his full size against me. He shivers and I lay a few bites on his skin. I push his underwear down as he wraps his arms around me and leans his full weight on top of me.

"Do you want me?" He mutters in my ear.

"Yes, fuck yes I want you." I reply, desperately.

I tried to hold onto his shoulders but as he pulled away to align himself with me my hands landed in his hair. I tighten my grip as he enters me, letting out his own moan of satisfaction.

"Fuck," our stomachs brush together as he pushes into me "Fuck, it's tight."

He lets out more of a cry in a shaky breath as he lays his face to rest in my neck. He says it's tight, but I'm not sure that he's not just bigger than what we were both accounting for.

His arms hold tight around my body and he forms a rhythm, pulling in and out of me, pushing deeper everytime. He fills me completely but I don't think he's even all the way in. The thought of him is ravishing, but feeling him actually pumping in and out of me is making me delirious.

"Ah, ah," he moans into my neck "Fuck, you feel so good "

He starts pushing in harder, trying to fit his length inside. His right arm snakes up my body and his hand onto my hair. He pulls my head back as far as I can lean it, and bites my trap near my neck. With every stroke, he gets harder and harder, still yanking on my hair for momentum. His breathing dampens my neck as he pants with his movements. I can see his contorted face, nose scrunched and eyes shut tight, mouth hanging open letting all his moans spill out.

All at once, with his hand still in my hair and on my back, he flips me over on top of him. He lets both hands rest holding my ass, pulling me in the same rhythm he was before. I barely have to do any work as he moves my hips to make me fuck him. His right hand lines up my torso, pushing me to sit upright, and he massages my breast in his palm. He watches me for a second as I try my best to keep my hips moving. Then, again, he picks up my weight and sits up, pulling himself out of me. He kisses me once, tenderly before speaking.

"Turn around." He says against my lips.

I don't hesitate to respond to his demands, I turn around and lean down on my knees and elbows, widening my legs as much as possible. With one hand pressed into my back above my ass, and the other pulling on my hips, Matthew pounds into me. I bury my head in my hands and let him take what he wants. Listening to him unravel because of me raises tension inside. I cry out for him to go faster and without answering, he does. Strings of curses and praises drip from his lips like honey. I can tell he loves being inside me.

He pants faster and faster and stumbles over his words. His pace becomes unsteady and sloppy and I can tell he's gonna cum. His arms wrap around my body, his hands holding onto my opposing hip and shoulder, holding me in just the right spot for him to pump in and out of me a little more before he climaxes. Listening to him, I feel my peak rise and take over. I hold onto to his arms and stretch as I feel it pulse through my body. As I slowly loosen, I feel Matthew reach his climax as well, burying his head in the crook of my neck. I can feel his open mouth breath on my skin as he catches back up with oxygen. I run one hand up and through his hair, pulling him closer to kiss him on the face.

"You're amazing ..." I whisper to him.

He takes a deep breath and lets out a tiny moan against my skin.

"I keep my promises." He says lazily.

#mine #original #dzire original #plz dont read this