#this is actually gross

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[aeide-thea]

on principle opposed to describing art i dislike as 'masturbatory' because even though it's an alluringly contemptuous word to sneer it's impossible to reconcile with my pro-masturbation stance

#it's such an ugly word but like. self-pleasure is good‚ actually #it's good to know yourself and what you like and lovingly treat yourself to it! #like similarly 'meretricious' is extremely tempting if you ignore the underlying metaphor #but. hard to. #language #and quite frankly i think people who whip out 'masturbatory' in this sneering sort of way #are leveraging‚ if we're honest with ourselves‚ a particular framing of it as a gross thing that boys do #because like. when have you ever heard a *woman's* self-indulgent art described as masturbatory #like don't get me wrong we absolutely still dismiss it! but we dismiss it in other ways #that are usually about how embarrassing her *yearning* is #and so even our sneering is reinforcing an idea that men Act whereas women Feel #anyway this was prompted by some things but i shoved it in the queue so now i forget what lol #so here you are getting some contextless thoughts on the use of 'masturbatory' as sneering dismissive assessment! #just what you were hoping for i'm sure :)

[moongreenlight]

Ghost knocks you up in the back of his truck during a one night stand btw.

Mdni. Nsfw below cut.

Like you’re a bartender and you’re flirting pretty heavily with him and the rest of the force boys for a good tip because you know their type. He’s not exactly shutting you down but he’s definitely not dogging after you like the others. You shrug it off and figure that three for four still gives you decent odds.

You step out back for a quick break on the top of the hour as things are winding down, promise your coworker you won’t be five minutes. He’s lingering in the workers only smoking area out back because he’s a freak. And you’re a little sussed-out, but he offers his help when you realize you’d left your lighter inside. Tells you he keeps his in the car in an attempt to curb his habit or some shit. Doesn’t matter. You know what he’s really saying.

He guides you with an arm slung loosely around your waist and for some reason you’re inclined to indulge yourself. Live a little. Get some after a months long dry spell that’s left you a little out of your mind. He folds you over the bench seat in the back of his truck in a dark corner of the lot. Leaves your pants bunched around your knees and only unbuttons his own enough to let his cock free.

He doesn’t bother trying to cram himself into the back with you. Given the sheer size of him, you weren’t sure he’d be able to anyway. Leaves the door open and yanks your hips back until he’s lined himself up. Makes quick work of it for both of your sakes, but it exceeds expectations given the circumstance. He comes mostly on the leather under you, but his hips stuttered and you ended with a bit slicking your folds. You cringe when you tug your pants back on you feel some pool in your underwear.

It’s a bit of an awkward walk back, but he makes good on his promise of a light when he sparks the end of your cigarette before walking back around front. You forget about the exchange until about a month later when you finally realize you’ve missed your period by at least a week and a half. You take a test mostly for peace of mind. Even though you didn’t use a condom, you’re decent at remembering to take the pill, so it’s really not heavy on your mind. Not until the test reads positive.

You pull him to the side the next time he comes to the bar and stumble over a hushed delivery of the news. He’s shockingly stoic. Silent for a moment before making some dry remark about how the two of you should probably go to the courthouse and make things official if you want to get his military benefits.

#Said it before and I’ll say it again #rah rah rah whatever who cares not me #He’s actually so gross hate him #moongreenlight #moongreenlightwrites #cod mw2 #call of duty #cod x reader #141 headcanons #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #simon riley #drabble #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley smut #simon riley x you #simon riley smut #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost smut #ghost x reader #ghost mw2

[ifyourereadingthisblinktwice]

me when the human character loses their humanity while the non human character gains humanity

#yes im referring to malevolent in this case #cannot believe john was actually grossed out by a dead body for once and didn’t describe it in horrific detail!! #the parallels between arthur and larson making me go insane #malevolent #malevolent podcast #it’s equivalent exchange

[corantus]

lesbian beauty & the beast 👑💔

#original #beauty and the beast #actually posting art today too wo!w!! hi #ive been working on this one in short bursts for the last week and ahalf or so #im so normal about this and it doesnt reflect on my mental health in any way #love my beast women gross and handsome and torn apart by the agonies. #two women going through it. i hope you can infer.

[dykepaldi]

no i take it for granted at this point but it genuinely is so nice that 13 was the way that she was. just the exact same non binary freak as before. i remember in 2017 even seeing queer people on here being like ‘aw omg she’s gonna do xyz traditionally feminine thing for the first time!!!1!’ no she’s not she’s going to eat soil. genuinely quite impressive that chibnall/the beeb got that right

#zero change in gender presentation #zero attempt to make her less gross and weird #actually so refreshing!!!!!! #v important to me at the time #doctor who #dw #thirteen #mine

[egophiliac]

What was your favorite of the flashbacks in Silver’s walk?

the acorn bracelet is VERY good, but I really really love Malleus humming (hummalleus? hummus?) to Silver. especially now that the song has Context. >:) we are in a soup of angst and I'm here with a spoon in each hand and a silly straw that leads directly to my brain.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #(sorry for being a while i was taking a bit of a socials break) #i think this is the same scene that opens with lilia singing meleanor's lullaby to silver #before malleus walked through the door and lilia went 'here have a baby BYEEEE' #mmm yes. delightful. #and i know i've already talked about it but malleus' immediate reaction being 'gross. what is this.' is still great #sometimes he really is just a dumb teenager and i love it #i also love the spoon scene a lot for being kind of the ur-example of cute fluffy ao3 domestic diasomnias. but that's in sebek's map so #(i think most of the domestic life stuff is actually in sebek's) #(all that sugar-sweetness would dissolve under silver's tears)

[bottombaron]

oh ok so its the usual no-homo bullshit you always hear, good to know.

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #nandermo #look im a reasonable guy #i dont get worked up easily and ive been around writers rooms and understand the pressures of writing a big show like wwdits #hell i even liked season 4 #but this has got to be one of the most offensive bs ive read that wasnt from 2015 #‘its only a small (but vocal) amount of people that actually want to see them together’ #‘their love isnt ~s*xual~ they dont need to kiss its more ~profound~ than that’ #‘you don’t REALLY want to see them together! (thats gross!)’ #also ‘the power dynamic is ~problematic~’??? are you kidding me??? #jfc its like someone literally got this out of the queerbating handbook from 2010 #and like yeah i know wwdits isnt queerbating but its queerness feels more performative when it treats an actual central relationship #like its a gross kinkything only a few freaks on the internet want #instead of a legitimate plausible story that deserves exploration #nandermo should be a triumph - a victory for the characters and something the writers should be pleased with writing #not…this. #like it’s some problem pressured reluctantly upon them that needs to be carefully defused #this has left a bad taste in my mouth

[schwarz-san]

A Revenant for The Red Knight

Your typical Dp x Dc Summoning AU, but with a twist.

Jason is having a bad time.

The most of the family to be honest.

Why? Cultist. In Gotham.

One that worship some kind of All Powerful Eldritch Death Outer God from Beyond and plans to summon the Thing to this plane of existence.

The worst part? Most of the bats are being use as sacrifice. Wait no, the worst part is that Jason is the main sacrifice.

They did contemplate whether to use Jason or the Demon child, but end up deciding to use Jason instead. Something about being having essence of Death and the Multiverse in his veins and you know what? He's not gonna touch that with a ten foot pole. Nope.

The demon child is lashing out like the unvaccinated feral racoon that he is, Dick is trying to escape and so does Bruce as well as trying to make sense of the Summoning circle that the cultist were using. The replacement is snoring, the asshole.

Hah. Thats what he get for drinking five mugs of expresso instead of sleeping then gatting tranq.

Also, fuck Bruce for not calling Constantine or Zattana the moment they smelled something supernatural.

God, he hates magic.

The cultist started chanting by then, speaking in a language that no one understood—huh? Well look at that. He could apparently. He could hear them chanting in that unknown language and english at the same time, its over lapping. Weird, its like it was being translated especially for him since the others didnt seems to show any recognition with the words the cultist was using.

Except maybe the demon child, but the others? Nada.

"—Ruler of the inbetween, Heed our call. Defeater of the Dark Tyrant. Master of Space, The bridge between Every Realms, The Great One, The Balance—"

Thats a fuck ton of titles.

The circle began glowing green and fucking Lazarus waters began to pour out and thats not fucking good.

Pillar of unnaturally Neon Red Fire emerge from the Circle and destroyed the ceiling and shook the entire ware house.

A tall armoured figure emerge as the pillar of fire began to settle out. It was floating above the circle, looming over everything in a terryfing manner. Temperature began to rise as the being's Unnayurally white gaze fell upon them.

It was… a knight? A knight cross over a biker??? It also had guns which is weird and is that a fucking Bat Insignia on its chest?

Pressure from all side crash over them as the beings gaze intensified before vanishing all together the moment its gaze fell on jason.

After what seems to be eternity, the being finally spoke.

"Huh. His majesty was right, I really was that stinky and fuck up before he find me."

???

The knight biker then remove his helmet to reveal his own face with a domino mask with his color pallete just inverted.

The doppelganger then pull out his gun and began shooting down the cultist all against the other bats protest. One by one the cultist vanished in to tin air as if they didn't exist all together.

He snapped his fingers and the rope that tying the burst in the same crimson flames and vanished all together.

"What the absolute fuck is going on here?!"

Or cultist used kidnap batfam and use jason as a sacrifice to the ghost king to summon him.

They summon Alternate version of jason who is a halfa and work as one of Danny's Fright knight: Red Knight.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny phantom #ghost king danny #halfa jason #fright knight Jason #red hood #red knight #red knight jason #summoning #cultist #batfam #red knight jason is from another universe #hes from a timeline where ghost king danny exist #actually they dont even need to from tge same universe #danny and red knight jason could be from different universe from each other as well #danny could have met him by accident #he sees this guy with a nasty ecto and thinks gross #he dropped him to frostbite to detox #it then turns out that the dude is a halfa #clockwork smirks in the background #he inform a overly joyed fright knight over a possible recruit and prodigy #red hood jason isnt paid for this shit #so does the batfam

[aardvaark]

[edit: oops, post somewhat breached containment, well at least it certainly went further than i thought]

#wren speaks #maybe just consider making more asexual ocs and hcs actually #but fr asexual adults aren’t childish or immature and it’s gross and rude to act like we are

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

#writeblr #warm up #ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from: #15% literally don't even touch water #an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP #15+35 =50% #like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap #btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water'' #which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes #ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild #i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me #but no they're just confidently wrong..... #182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6 #that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week. #ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho #this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded #in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair #or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS. #men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies #i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health. #this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become. #like they don't try to hide it anymore.

[freelanceplatypus]

Dungeon Meshi modern au where both Laois and Falin are food vloggers. Laois is always travelling to remote areas and cultures to try the most "extreme" foods and bring them to light. He's known as the guy who will drink blood and slam a still wriggling bug just to comment on it's nutty flavor. Meanwhile Falin is visiting long-standing eateries and sharing the stories behind local cuisine.

Nobody actually puts together they're siblings (in part due to wildly different viewerbases) until Falin in one video mentions how she enjoys eating insects and the comment section is full of folks asking her to "collab with the bug guy". Her very next video is her and Laois smiling infront of a mukbang style platter of insects and she introduces him as her brother.

#marcille is falins video editor/manager in general #which results in a lot of fancy editing and trip booking #meanwhile laois is working with his crew of senshi and kabru #kabru works as the face getting them in to restricted areas and senshi actually documents these cultures recipes #marcille actually edits laois vids too despite getting so grossed out watching them #meanwhile she makes falin eating blood sausage look like art #chilchuk is just on call at all times to get them in and out of countries #he takes care of scheduling in general you think the touden siblings can keep a calendar #itzumi is the picky eater friend that i feel needs to appear in more food review content #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #modern au #laois touden #falin touden

[st5lker]

the neverending quest random unfunny 20 follower tumblr users have to become the next slimetony or whatever has once again resulted in people saying weird gross shit that makes no sense and if you tried it in real life would at best get an awkward pity laugh whilst your company mentally noted not to invite you to outings again

#and of course this was appended to a strangers post who was making an actually funny joke which had nothing to do with this #like its not ‘disrespectful’ idgaf abt jesus its just a weird gross image and a completely unnecessary irrelevant edition #who finds that funny.

[dykeinthedark]

doing this thing i call "reading every class high school lit book i missed out on" partially because as an english minor i feel like a lot of ppl in my english lectures have already read these books in higschool partially because high school english classes suck balls and i think the way they taught kids to read books was lame and dumb as hell and killed love for reading and i think some of these books they make kids read should never be experienced in a classroom setting

#the horror on my face when i talk to someone and they read catcher in the rye at an age below 16.... that should be a punishable offence #actually teaching catcher in the rye should be illegal. u are meant to experience that on ur own. that shit is between u and god. #the reason why i'm a separate peaceposting rn is because i see the homosexuality and analyze it for fun instead of being bored #if i had to read it in school i'd probably enjoy it less. imagine being quizzed on it. imagine having the themes spilled out for you. gross #if i got reading comprehension quizzed on any book i like i think i would kill myself in front of everyone forever #THAT'S JUST NOT HOW IT WORKS. AND WHY DO COLLEGES UNDERSTAND THIS BUT HIGHSCHOOLS DON'T #LIKE A 16-17 YEAR OLD HIGHSCHOOLER DOES NOT NEED TO BE READING QUIZZED LIKE 18-19 YEAR OLDS DON'T OKAY

[personthattoleratesme]

We’re really not talking about the “I’m just so comfortable around you that I have no filter” thing enough, they’ve just been around each other for so long that they can fully be themselves and be entirely comfortable with no anxiety or filters like isn’t that what we all want and deserve in life

#real best friends companions through life actual soulmates #and all that jazz #gross #dan and phil #dnp #dan and phil games #daniel howell #phil lester

[ew-selfish-art]

Here’s the thing about the Twin AU that people aren’t considering: the Drs Fenton are resourceful! They can make amazing inventions out of household objects and machines!

So when they were accepting a contract from Ra’s to look at the Lazarus Pits in conjunction to their research (ie the best dissertation material ever) they looked at the spare twin that was being sacrificed and said “a perfectly good baby like that would probably be nice to have around!”

Sure, the Spare Heir was ecto contaminated because of the pits and that’s why Ra’s was getting rid of him, but seriously, not everything needed to be brand new these days! Upcycle! Science can fix all the ectoplasm and possession! He’ll be just like new in no time! Take that baby out of the pit and wash em up and take that baby to the Midwest! Teach that baby about stars and Ghosts!

The Drs Fenton take baby danny on their last day, knowing that the league thinks that he’s dead- already sacrificed, Ra’s felt the power shift of the Infinite Realms- and proceed forward like nothing was ever a big deal! They published their findings on the pits, they got another contract/grant and then began the journey to start moving towards their other projects!

Why tell Jazz, she’s only a toddler when they bring him home?

Why tell Danny, he’s just their little man, their Dann-o?

Things will probably be fine, because just like their up cycled machines and portals- an upcycled baby wouldn’t have any problems! Their inventions always worked perfectly! Their son would be just as perfect!

Cue the shenanigans of Damian and Danny meeting, the normal amount of “you’re the clone” finger pointing (which Danny wins because he has actual baby/childhood photos) and then some ghosts of assassins past trying to cause issues for Phantom.

#reduce reuse recycle #dc x dp fic #dp x dc #danny phantom #damian wayne #dc universe #dc x dp #the drs Fenton are actually so environmentally friendly for saving this demon heir baby #sure he’s gross and possessed but he’s still a perfectly good baby! science can fix the rest #Ra’s felt a power shift when Danny was dumped into the pits and presumed the baby didn’t make it #turns out that was Danny’s introduction to clockwork and he thought it would be funny to get this kid a new home in Illinois #demon heir twins #twin au #danny and damian are twins