#this is a vent so don't read if you don't wanna

[genericpuff]

vent post

#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once” #i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO #anxiety is a hell of a thing #and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever #i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up #and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken #but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship #i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it #i am cringe and i am free #self post #vent post #altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read #too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll #i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made #i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol #i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim #i think both things can be true #i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like #while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium #“perfectly balanced as all things should be”

[jessicas-pi]

it's actually, genuinely, honestly hilarious that in a fandom where popular ships include characters who are biologically related, characters with a 10+ year age gap who met when one was a teenager or even a child, and characters who have tried to kill each other, people hate on a friends-to-lovers ship with a <2 year age gap where the characters have a deep emotional bond and plenty of romantic subtext, because "they're siblings". my brother in the force they are literally not.

#i'm just saying. out of all the ships in the star war; sabine and ezra have one of the healthiest dynamics #right up there with kanera and bail and breha and obitine and maybe a few others. there are SO few 'problems' with it. #not that those 'problems' make a ship BAD when it's written well or in certain context. #just that out of all the ships to pick on; people choose THIS one????? #the one with character growth and found family and mutual respect?? #the one with self-sacrifice and decades-long loyalty and obitine parallels and a jetpack chase scene???? #what's there to hate??? #and i would add a disclaimer about how if you dont ship them its fine as long as you dont bully but honestly? #i am so so tired of having to qualify my statements. #this is about the targeted hate. this has always been about the targeted hate. #and i don't care if someone loathes something i love as long as they they keep that loathing out of my personal space. #this has been a tag rant. thank you for reading. #btw i'm not being sarcastic about it being hilarious. it genuinely cracks me up to see people get SO hateful over this #for a reason that does not exist #as opposed to several other ships which DO IN FACT HAVE THAT OBJECTION. #like. oh my gosh. are you even listening to yourselves. #if u wanna have the don't-ship-siblings fight then puhLEEZE bring it to someone who ships siblings. #jessica's controversial star wars opinions #sabezra #(don't worry that this post is a vent because i'm getting bullied or anything. im not visible enough for that i guess lol) #it was written in humor not in hurt :)

[garrettwrites]

When someone tells you they don't like hugs, that's not an invitation for you to "cure them". It is not a "you" thing, although sometimes it might be. You thinking "they have to get used to it" because "your hugs are different" and "that's how you show love" is not a valid argument. Hugging them out of the blue as a goodbye is not cool either. Fuck off.

#ok to rb in case someone is in the same boat but thinks the post is too personal #this friend of mine... #pretends he's great but can't respect one basic thing #he's lucky I have grown to control my emotions and not lash out #i hate it #don't hug me or touch me end of line #i am honest to god feeling sick #this dude and I have history where I borderline felt incapable of saying no and had sex with him #afterwards I told him how I felt #yet he still pulls this shit #hugs make me sick to my stomach I don't even hug my family #and I really don't wanna hug a man who pretty much made me hate sex (for myself) as a whole #i feel disgusting rn #twice he hugged me and got mad when I refused to hug him again #even after I already told him I hated it #then asks if I'm scared of him because of that like you piece of shit I wanna rip my skin out where you touched it #I may pretend to everyone that I'm a strong confident man but good lord #sometimes I wish I had an over protective boyfriend so he could kick him in the teeth over this shit #it's ridiculous I know but fuck #apologies if you read all these tags but I over drank after this and none of my friends are awake and I needed to vent #garrett.text

[melit0n]

"The more that I grow, the more that I've come to know; it's hard to be someone and it hurts to be nobody."

#I'm thinking about making a personal tag for all the music I post #something like 'Mel's Mixtape'? I feel like I've already seen that somewhere though so I don't wanna be copying anyone #if anybody has any ideas let me know! #+ that lyric gutter punched me when I first listened to COAP #(bit of a vent/rant incoming so nobody feel pressured to read) #I've spent the majority of my life with anxiety (especially social anxiety) and depression #so I got stuck on the idea of being a 'nobody'; a person you never even notice just drifting through It All #but then I got jealous (per say) of people who had big friendgroups and were 'popular' etc and wanted to become 'somebody' #a person maybe even in the public eye #so I spent years trying to make myself into someone I wasn't and spent the whole time suffering #and eventually people realised I was not what I wanted to be (I wasn't like *them* in that sense) and they spent their days making sure -> #I knew it #so yeah #it is hard to be someone but it hurts to be nobody #even so I've found myself a good middle spot with a few friends who know me for *me* a good major and a lot of lovely moots #I ain't someone but I ain't nobody either <3 #mel's thoughs #spotify #half•alive #half alive #conditions of a punk #coap #nobody (song) #melitunes

[bookwyrminspiration]

quil is this u 😭 https://twitter.com/rrrrrrraddd/status/1741142180142481556

(clickable link)

Oh my god is that why it's gotten some notes again recently??? it broke containment again??? That one post is my legacy I'm never going to top it. if I'd known it was going to be seen by *checks link* over a million people if I'm reading that right then maybe I would've checked my grammar

anyway. goddamn.

#quil's queries #nonsie #it's the sibling post if you don't wanna click the link #i had to create a twitter account to browse the replies a little. as always. reduced people to tears 👍 #immediately deleted my account right after #i always feel bad about including the line about my mom yelling because it makes her seem mean and she truly isn't #she grew up with a household with a lot of yelling so she didn't think she was yelling. because to her yelling was a lot worse #but to little me? who didn't have her skewed frame of reference? it was yelling #and as soon as she realized that she stopped because she didn't want to yell #but reading that you don't have that context. because it was a late at night vent post just for me #so i'm always like. mom if you somehow ever find that I'm so sorry

[hazmatazz]

google.. how to stop. anxiety..

#head in hands #i don't Wanna practice piano even if that might help #i don't Wanna ask for validation from others. i can't rely on ppl complimenting me everytime i'm anxious #i don't Wanna do work. thinking of school makes me anxious #i don't Want to read or chill. the fact i'm being unproductive makes me anxious #oughhhh head in Hands. i wish the school would get back to me about counseling already. it's been over a Week #i understand there are sooo many kids and so much shit butnuuyggghhhhh it always takes forever #hate like. country and it's school underfunding shit because nobody wants to work here so i everything sucks #anyways. #babble #complaining #vent #<-??? #everything sucks today. everything sucks so much always. everything has sucked for Years #and there's no escaping it despite how Hard i try to be happy #anyways. if you want to like compliment me a bunch like. go ahead. it'll make me feel better even if in the long run it's probably not good

[lucyvaleheart]

.

#delete later #hey haven't made a vent post in a while that's gotta be a good thing right #I dunno. got an appt in like a month and hopefully that'll fix me but until then...... #...sigh. tw for heavy shit for the rest of this don't read on unless you can manage with that kinda thing #is it like. nights? does my brain just shut down any level of dopamine response at night? is that it? #cuz fuck I spiral so fast. not 5 hours ago I was on cloud 9 cuddling a cute girl I may or may not have a- #anyway #now it's midnight. #and I just kind of want to carve my self awareness out of my body like a cancerous growth #and never be aware again #loneliness and jealousy and despair and self hatred and my god I can't really think of anything negative I *don't* feel #i just want it to stop #i wanna stop hurting every time I see them being so intimate with someone else I've already been rejected I need to get the fuck over mysel #ugh #I...... #i usually try to keep these vague cuz I know people follow me and despite my best efforts do tend to read these #part of me wants that? that cry for help I guess? some way to reach out without having to be vulnerable #on the other hand I don't want to guilt anyone or to make anyone feel bad for being happy cuz that's toxic as fuck #I.... I don't fuckin know I'm just kind of rambling now. #....I'll be fine eventually #maybe #god I can't even say that for certain anymore huh #what do i even do why can't i see the solution anymore #all that's there is 'stop feeling x emotion' and thats just not a reasonable thing to expect myself to be capable of #you can't just turn off your emotions as much as I wish I could #.......want to be held close and touched a lot and told it'll be ok and complimented and. wanted #want to be wanted. #.....sigh #.......i am wanted. I know I am. I know so many people want my attention that it's nearly impossible to keep up #so what the fuck is my deal why do I still want it so bad? what isn't clicking? why doesn't it fucking work

[ellistocracy]

spent all your money on christmas and now have no money for my birthday present? not to worry! here is a short list of just some of the things you can give me for absolutely free!

a fucking break

#ellistocracy.txt #i will also accept attention praise and/or pictures of your pets #anyway sorry for posting about my birthday so much. stop reading here if you don't want to read my secret vent tags #but godddd okay so. it's not like my birthday has ever not been disappointing (considering when it is) #yknow. everyone being spent out and either still on christmas vacation or sick from being around so many people #and it's definitely gotten worse. like the year my family got covid. or the other year my family got covid #but uuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhh this year really takes the cake (the birthday cake even) #so please just bear with me while i overcompensate by not shutting up about it #and I don't even really have any close friends anymore. so i don't even know who i can talk to about this #this isn't a cry for help though im okay. like im not even disappointed this is pretty much how i expected things to go #if you do wanna reach out and wish me a happy birthday though its on the 30th. and i would appreciate it a lot #anyways thats all. for those still reading thanks for giving me a little of your time

[wowitsverycool]

i'm so fuckin tired all day dude. I'M JUST LIKE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER HAHAHAHA

#^ god shut up that's so fucking annoying of you #why do you love to make your life a narrative. why do you despair to an imaginary audience. #can't you just like drink soemthing and chill the fuck out #tbh you're probably unconsciously manifesting your own suffering in a bid to be just like them right. you idiot. because you wanna be speci #you're not a person you're a chameleon. you're a mood ring #jessuuuss chriiiiist you make me sick #you're a walking language learning model. there's nothing in that tiny little brain of yours but the echoes of written dialogue #you've generated from the millions you've read before. all the people you've absorbed. #you don't have a soul but you do like to pick bits and pieces from others #you've created a nice amalgamation. beautiful. #all melty. all ruined. like caterpillar mush. like whatever crawled out of the chrysalis half formed. #and that's not even your own fuckin metaphor #HAHAHA you're getting angry at yourself for something you don't even believe in. you have no morals #you're spineless. you're nothing in particular. you're whatever *sounds right*. jesus. #oh gosh oh gee you don't want to tag this vent that would ruin the MOOD!! it would ruin the AESTHETIC!!! THE ARTISTRY!!!! #YOU SUCK SO FUCKING BAD #YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOOD AT TELLING A STORY IT'S ALL MISHMASHED AND UNFORMED #WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU #... #vent #<- you know. so no one GETS MAD AT ME. CANT HAVE THAT. CAN NEVER HAVE THAT. THAT WOULD BE OFF SCRIPT

[tw1nkee28]

Hey guys, I know you would probably be expecting a doodle dump from me right now but uh- I'm taking a break.

I know I haven't been posting much anymore and I'm not even sure when I'm gonna be back, but I need a break. There's a lot going on right now in my personal life and it's too much for me to handle, so until everything is sorted out I will not be posting. Anyone who knows me personally, don't worry, I'll be alright. Just need a bit of time. I love you all and I hope to be up and running as soon as possible <3

#semi vent #taking a break #tw1nkee talks 2.0 #i love you all #I'll talk about it here in the tags so if you dont wanna see a bit of a “vent” don't read any further #ill try not to vent but just to inform you guys of what's going on #so recently ive had a lot if major events for me pile up #such as the death of my beloved pet snake #and just found out today that my dad is moving out #and with all this piling up with online school and all the stress #i need a break #its nothing that any of you guys did i just need a bit to recharge myself #dw ill still be on discord if you need me #i just wont be very active or posting #love you guys to the moon and back <3

[fridayyy-13th]

siiiiiigh.

#friday chats #tw vent #(in the following tags that is.) #(so. scroll if you don't wanna read this i suppose.) #anyway. gotta love the overachieving honors student experience. #haven't slept well in over two fucking weeks. i'm so exhausted! it's 11:40 pm but i STILL have multiple assignments left to do!! #part of it is definitely my own fault; i'm the one who put so many difficult classes into my schedule this year #and i'm planning to go discuss dropping a class or two tomorrow actually #bc i've been struggling to do work because of the sheer stress of it all and i'd very much like to sleep for three fucking months #maybe more. perhaps six. maybe even a year. i'm so fucking tired #God. sorry. i don't like getting vent-y on my blog but i am currently At My Limit #i miss having free time dude!! i haven't been able to dedicate time to writing since summer ended!!! #hoping that dropping the class i wanna drop will help #it's not the worst one of the bunch but it looms over my shoulder and the subject matter is miserable #(it's economics. fucking hate it. i get why it's useful but the way we're learning it is so deeply draining. that's capitalism baby!!) #but anyway. gotta hop back to work now. :/ gonna log off for the night

[sashasluggo]

This is a vent post.

No silly noise to hide it behind this time.

Just.

Aaaaaaaaaaagh!!!

#don't read ahead if you don't wanna read me aimlessly vent about way too many things #like seriously #this is your last warning #I hurt someone who I love very very much!! #and in the process hurt someone else that I also love very very much!!!! #and I can't live with the guilt!!! #I am exhausted!!!!!! #everything hurts!!!!!!! #i hate myself!!!!!! #and I'm at my limit!!!!!!!! #this is not a cry for help #if you try to help me I'll probably push you away #and it's nothing personal #i just don't have the energy to get helped rn #I'm just tired #and angry at myself #and I need a break so I can get better #and so I can stop making my loved ones' lives even worse!!! #sorry #for ranting #i need to let stuff out #and writing it down and then deleting it isn't working #so now it's in the tags of this random post for strangers on the internet to see #i kinda don't care rn tbh #i just wanna find a way to somehow make my partners happy #but Im just making. it worse I think

[heybaetae]

.

#i feel bad saying this #because i really love you guys #and i love when you message me #however i feel like i need to set some sort of boundary when it comes to some types of asks #because i am a real person who is very capable of feeling drained by certain energy #so if you could please maybe refrain from using my ask box as a...complaint box about realllllly miniscule things #that aren't really detrimental to anyone's overall fandom experience #i would appreciate it #i don't always wanna read whining in inbox when i open this app especially if it's like. not even that serious #i'm so open to conversations if i at least prompt the convo on my blog somewhere #but sometimes i get asks out of no where of people venting about really really unimportant stuff and i can't always be the voice of reason #you might be looking for #or the person to console you #i wanna be approachable and open but i can't be your therapist #quite frankly #i have my own stuff going on ya know #i come on here to chill and take my mind off stuff #and have a laff #i hope that makes sense <3

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

#unsafe vent #I really wish I was dead #my dad is putting so much stress onto me to 'make up' with my sister #which means I gotta apologize to her because SHE read MY personal PRIVATE journal #my family doesn't want me to kill myself and I don't know why #if I was dead no one would be around to make all of you upset #God I'm losing people left and right all I wanna do is go to sleep and never wake up #my dad said such nasty things that night when I needed him #what is the point of therapy if he's just gonna shit on it any chance he gets #I love my family but I wish that they would understand #I told my dad that I was so upset that I wanted to bang my head into the ground #and he said 'you gotta control that.' #what a fucking smart cunty bitch you are!!!!!!! yes I do!!! if only I had someone I could trust to help me!!!!!!! #if I wasn't so scared of Hell I would've been dead by now #I can't even cut cus my stupid razor sucks ass #I get why people do hard drugs now lmao #I would never but the urge to snort and swallow random shit to feel something is rising #I would drink but it gets me so sick it's not worth it #I'm in such a bad mental health spot all I can think about is how easy it would be for someone to take advantage #I dunno how to describe it but it's very dark :( #the only way I can make this all go away is if once again I take the blame #I wish I was more confident I was going yo heaven so I could just end it

[salsflore]

#going back to school tmrw and i obviously have Feelings™️ abt that #warning this is a vent? post? idk not really cuz i'm not sad nor do i need comfort and theres nothing for me to really vent about but #well! i suppose you can just call it a way for me to talk about my feelings a little. but the way i am right now? i'm actually fine so if #anyone reads this then don't worry! ya know but. anyways this morning i woke up and overheard something i shouldntve #and for a moment (and what feels like the veryyy first time in my life) i considered if it was worth it to kms LOL a bit overdramatic right #to clarify i WOULD NEVER. i do not want to die but just! very briefly‚ i thought it’d be better if i did #(only for that short short short moment) did i consider if it was truly the best thing to do. like there was a possibility i really would #but i know i would never actually #and now i just wonder what i should do! i guess. like where do i go from here? what am i supposed to do to cope? #how do i get better? very obviously i don’t wanna get stuck in the same sad loop of self pity or anything! #so when therapy isn’t an option‚ and school (an unavoidable) seems to be 85% of the problem‚ what CAN i do if not just tolerate it? #what option is there for me? reach out to my friends? i feel like talking it out doesn’t do anything for me anymore #my calendar is littered with small events and reminders just so i can get by. when does it get better? where do i go from here because it #very much feels like i'm going to be stuck in this cycle forever. i know theres good intentions but i am Very tired of hearing #people say they're there for me and articles telling me to go outside and touch the flowers i! #i don't know what to do with myself anymore. i think i'm going to have to live with this feeling forever actually #but i really do want to get better. i suppose i just don’t know how #⠀mika’s chatroom !⠀

[missiodine]

tfw you wanna try to play ttrpgs again, but ever since playing a few years ago during a certain two campaigns, you were bullied by people who you thought were your friends because you didn't know how to play and they made up reasons why they should dislike you irl. especially while you tried to be nice to them and give them space and tried to make steps towards interacting with them in rp too.

like no, it wasn't like "oh, it's just character interaction, these characters just don't like each other!" no it was "no joke, I absolutely hate your guts, Miss Iodine, fuck you and I'll be an arse to you in-game and irl. i will ignore everything you and your character say, i will attack your character because why not and say it's just what my character would do, and then start harassing my DMs"

love it when i tried for months to reach out for a proper sit down only to be given a sorry-not-sorry half-assed push the blame onto the victim apology

like yes this lives rent free in my head. you won, if that's what you wanted.

#autumn says stuff #vent #im still so fuckin salty even though its been so long #i just don't understand how people can treat others so terribly and not even think twice about it #never a moment of ‟maybe I did wrong?‟ #nah. just tell Miss Iodine ‟You're a problem‟ #yes that exact statement was said to me #maybe ‟bully‟ is a cliche word but i dunno what else to call it #like mate i've been nearly stabbed before during what i can only assume was an attempted hate crime. technically i did get hurt ig because #grabbed the knife by the blade as it was being thrusted towards me. i still have the said knife btw. wanna get free knife? just grab it #from your attacker. and then they'll run off because they're a little shit. actually don't do that. don't recommend that. okay so the point #is that yk ive been hurt physically many times but goddamn this situation still hurts emotionally #it was funny when said someone in this group told me i was 'appropriating neurodivergent culture.' mate. mate. wot. im how? #take it from me. im not neurotypical lmao. i thought that was obvious but no. no idea where this even stemmed from tbh because it really #came out of nowhere. also being called a fascist for years by these people for liking worldbuilding and star trek was cool. didn't realize #that fuckin reading old soviet books and playing papers please and minecraft makes me a fascist somehow. but you learned it here. #im still so fucking pissed about that accusation. love that their additional reasoning that im somehow a fascist was that #‟you're getting mad and keep insisting you're not a fascist‟ is proof that you're a fascist. what else am i supposed to do? you haven't #even given an ounce of some so-called mountain of evidence. #its cool that no one cared about what these people did to me. better to retain a friendship with them and never bring up what they did. #better to just alienate miss iodine from the friend group. better to never bring it up. better to forget any of this happened. better to #forget that miss iodine exists. #sometimes i wish i could know what its like to not give a flying fuck about other people. I wonder what it's like to be such a shitty perso #fucking hell. #thought i found home when i first met that group. instead it just reminds me of the home i grew up in. #My biological family (save two cool cousins) is probably a collection of some of the worst people in existence.