#this is a vent post btw im not actually angry im just not in a great mental place rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

artemisbarnowl · 11 months

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When you're not staying up past your bedtime tell us your thoughts about checking up on people via social media!

Thank you for indulging me this long weekend why would you do this

Warning I'm gonna be pathetic because i am still grieving a nine year relationship and grieving, especially in this context, feels so UNDIGNIFIED. Also its my grieving thoughts about the socials thing not like well srticulated thoughts about the socials with some grieving mixed in. I just have a lot of feelings and i need to get them out.

1. Like, ultimately don't. Its not helpful at all i think. Unless if literally is just idle curiosity about what happened to someone in your class from ten years ago and you actually dont care what you find.

2. I am experiencing the urge to check up on my ex CONSTANTLY. (They do not really use social media this doesnt amount to much btw). I understand why people be lurking on someones insta or whatever to see what theyve been up to. Sometimes you hope theyre failing and miserable because they did you wrong and you want to feel validated. In my particular case i am worried, and i miss them. There are no posts for me to see or wonder about so this is useless but i think i also want to see that my ex is sad (because i was important to him for such a long time) but also, not like, too sad. And I'm fantasising about him sort of DOing something about it. I want to see what he's up to. Is is dancing? Is he injured? Is he Making? Is he finding small joys in life like hanging out with friends or seeing a cute creature on a walk? Seeing posts about these things would not help me! Because i would likely assume he was not sad, then i would feel angry and bitter and disappointed in myself for wasting my time. We dont share when we are sad (or why) on socials. I am NEVER going to see a post that effectively says "my smart and beautiful and extraordinary girlfriend of 9 years left me, and I am sad i couldn't be what she needed. I miss her a lot and wish i could have showed her this garden i saw today, she would have loved it. I will never forget her and dont know how to be okay with this". No one is going to see that. But ultimately i think we check up on people because what we want to see is some variation of that, so we can feel validated and know that they UNDERSTAND how were feeling.

Because this is tumblr I have made stupid posts a bit like this! I miss him all the time, i made a facebook post about a doco that I watched in the hopes that he would see it and watch it, because i think he'd like all the adorable english woodland creatures. This is also stupid! As are posts showing how well youre doing in hopes ypur ex seems them and feels stupid. Devoting this much energy to a game in your head where you will never get an outcome that satisfies you cannot help you move on or heal. But i do think its weird that we look for any possible thread that tied us to people we are without, even the terrible online ones that can never retie us! We talk to gravestones like the dead can hear us. I am currently checking my mailbox every day for a letter that might not ever arrive, and even if it does it sure and shit wont contain any information that helps me live my new single life where no one thinks I'm special, and there's no one I'm 100% comfortable to be all of myself around and who I dont get tired of being with.

I will never know if he saw the fb post, let alone watched and had opinions on the doco I talked about. Knowing wont help. He knew i have a tumblr but i dont think he'd go through it as its a huge pile of memes and stuff he wouldnt understand to look for 3 things that say im sad. And again, knowing I'm sad won't help.

Normally im very good at being like "well this is unproductive/not the best course of action" and then, you know, STOPPING but unfortunately I will continue to wonder how he is and what hes up to and cling to actually unreasonable, unfounded fantasies of what happens IF he sees.

Anyway this is a long vent that basically says i think i get why people do it now but ultimately it will never bring the carthsis we hope for (:

He knew i had a tumblr but I dont think he's checking up on me coz. Whats the point. Its a lot of stupid memes for 3 im sad posts. Which accomplish nothing as discussed.

#its been...just under 3 months since the break up?#and I am still so so caught up in the fact thst the last weekend we spent together before he flew home was nice #he felt the pressure was off so he could just do what he wanted #which was talk more and answer questions and be more affectionate #which is all i ever wanted in the first place!!#and after all that time together he was still more scared of moving in any direction and it being wrong #than he trusted that i would treat him with kindness and respect and understanding no matter what he did #i dont think it'll ever not hurt that when booking plane tickets (a few months before) he couldnt decide between #spending an extra day with me and a ten dollar cheaper fare #not because he didnt like me but because he was frozen by the possibility of there being a wrong choice #and like there is if the reasoning isnt 'i have to be back for a significant event' and is IS 'i dont actually want to spend time with you'#then hiding that through indecision does no one any favours #unfortunately my biggest regret now is that i was uglu crying at the airport when we kissed goodbye for the last time #its very vain but i worry he will remember me like that #i could barely stand i was so upset!!! and i am concerned about my looks and keeping a man :'(#highly pathetic you were warned #anyway i miss him and i am afraid he is alone and sad and i cannot help

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pashminalamb · 1 year

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I AM BACK!!!!!!! And idk if you saw the post I tagged you in explaining and apologizing tumblrs being wonky again because I didn’t see that bachisagi post you tagged me in on your main until I was scrolling through and catching up just now. I have been swamped with juggling school staring again, family, and that friend stuff I told you abt. And the only free time I’ve had is watching TR. I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE LATEST BLLK EPISODE YET AND I WANNA SOB BECAUSE ITS THE POST-BACHISAGI BREAKUP EP 😭😭😭. I’ve just had no energy at the end of the day and every time I think I finally have time to respond back to you something always comes up and I wanna tear my hair out. I PROMISE I HAVENT BEEN IGNORING YOU LOVE. But I understand if you’re upset at me and I’m sorry Belle.

I was furious like my blood was boiling when I saw your fic got flagged down. Like what is wrong with people??? Can you not just let other people be and keep your negativity to yourself??? Just because you’re falling doesn’t mean you have to drag others with you asshole. Seriously. You did not deserve that and being so angry and upset over it (with it happening AGAIN and it not even being the FIRST time unwarranted) is completely understandable, I’d be pissed too. I still am actually. It’s so frustrating working so hard on something and then getting pointless hate for it like get a life and stay away from me. 😤😤😒

On another note, I have been getting SO MUCH Tokyo Revengers content the past few days and that has been my only relief from this hectic week. Im being fed so well girl. New episodes every Saturday with my favorite arc being animated, the new character book, new official arts, AND SO MUCH MORE AFJHFFHJGHINH. Also I’m so sorry I missed your event 😭😭😭. You even extended it and I had so many asks saved too 🥲🥲. But I didn’t wanna just demand stuff without explaining where I’d been because I’m not an ass like that but every time I started drafting something for you (not for the event) I’d get interrupted 😒😒. *sighs heavily*

IVE BEEN READING YOUR EVENT ASKS CAUSE I JUST GOT OUT OF CLASS AND ASDFJJGFFHHGFKJ THEYRE ALL SO GOOD BELLE 😭😭. I love them all so freaking much (esp the Bachira ones 👀😌✨) and I’m sad I couldn’t participate but hopefully next time. BUT DONT WORRY IM ALREADY DRAFTING AN ASK FOR THE MATCHUP EVENT THERES NO WAY IM MISSING THAT 😤😤.

CONGRATULATIONS ON 1.9K BELLE IM SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU LOVE!!!!! 🥹😭❤️ Your numbers keep climbing so fast and it’ll only be a matter of time before you hit 2k 😌😌. Also I’m so glad you’re getting support from new people too and how they’re all loving your works it’s so heartwarming to see and read and really a testament to how far you r come. Be proud of yourself because no matter how much hate you get you’re still continuing to do amazing love ❤️❤️❤️.

I really am sorry for going MIA for a bit there and I understand if you’re upset with me. How’ve you been irl btw?? Uni going well I hope? How’s gym? Has your break ended yet? Go on and vent if you need to love!! Update me on your life because I truly do want to know how’re you’re doing yknow?? Remember to take breaks and take care of yourself love!!! Eat something and drink a glass of water if you haven’t today!!! *sending all the virtual hugs because I missed you and I’m sorry*

p.s. no asks on the way soon 👀🫡

- ✨ anon

Starry!! Ofc I’m not upset with you! You’re usually very active on my blog, so I figured something must’ve come up cause you were away. I wanted to drop in your askbox; but I could find it so I decided to tag you in my posts instead to see if you’re doing alright and you’re doing well so I’m relieved <3

Tumblr has been acting wonky :/ - literally. I had to write to staff about my posts not showing up in the tags and all they did was delete it?

I figured since it was taking so long, I might as well just shift to ao3 and my work has been good so far - working on a yandere rin wip and I’m about 2k words in but since Uni and work keeps getting in the way, i can’t finish it as fast. But. Ik for the fact that this’ll be worth the wait cause. You’ll see 😏

As for my works getting flagged down, it is an inconvenience, but with every work that does get flagged down - people on the other side of the screen are just proving the fact that they can’t keep up with my writing or the fact that my content is well received and I get mostly healthy interactions. I was pretty angry with it, but then I just decided to take it to ao3 instead and I had been thinking about this for months. I take that this was a sign that I should do it and not leave it as a plan cause tumblr has turned toxic over a period of time, among authors and readers alike. So why not minimize the trouble for everyone go somewhere better? Ao3 had really good content;

More plot leaning and good story lines with occasional smut, and both sides are really chilled out. Plus another thing that disappoints me about tumblr is that smut sells really fast here and even Twitter links get more likes than actual writing. And after thinking over it for a while - I realized that my writings are more to do with things human along with lust than just purely writing about lust yk? So in short, my work isn’t meant for tumblr. And I’m not a very interactive author either - I don’t reblog much works and neither do I have any author I can personally recommend cause I stopped reading fanfics here about 2 years ago and I don’t even check the tags anymore since then, only to see if my work showed up or not. but anyway- i made my moveout official still gonna answer asks and host events here tho - and talk to anyone about stuff in general

now talking about tokyo rev, super happy about the new season coming out and honestly? this is the fastest i've seen them make it cause JJBA fans- ykw i'm talking about. Had to wait so long just for stone ocean part 2 to come out And i'm really looking forward to watching vinland saga (cause that's out and istg - canute is such a pretty boy, this is that one anime that made me cry cause Askeladd. nvm I don't wanna give spoilers) AND YES! you did make it to the matchup event !! (i got your ask) as for the character ask i had fun with it as well - Some of the highlight questions I liked; one of them was a question for Rin, asking if (y/n) was single? and istg the way i laughed cause the way he would have a look on his face after that, Bachira is a ray of sunshine to have - such a cutie (>///<) [take your time on working starry! There’s not rush! Ik how annoying it is to get interrupted when you’re writing something] And tysm for your kind words !! Seriously though I should be thanking you guys for giving me your support esp you starry - cause you were one of the first anons along with blue to actually make a convo on my blog and it kinda made other people wanna talk as well (҂ ꒦ິヮ꒦ິ) And no! I'm not upset with you! I knew something was maybe up cause you're never usually gone this long - And you can come to my blog anytime you want - to rant, ask for advice or just talk anything 'kay? ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა As for uni, its on full throttle - *sigh* so much work to do but I'm working on it a little everyday and getting things done as soon as possible. but the cold is making me so drowsy to function. I cut my hair shorter too, its an undercut with a pixie so now i look like a fem ver of corpse - And i re-watched some of my old animes - like i had the urge to watch devilman crybaby this week and i did. the only reason i watched that anime was cause of the clip i saw of Akira's... on the ceiling... (ikyk), rewatched death note - cause i wanted to see L and honestly L is THE emo king. (yeah i had a whole emo phase before turning into a dark academia/ classic aesthetic gal -) and alot of people are getting into tokyo ghoul - *finished the whole manga collection at the age of 14* As for gym... story time. I was busy lifting weights and this man. he is muscular sure, got bulging biceps and a lean body and yet. he had the audacity to chase me out of my corner in the gym and take it instead to lift his weights. He looked at me dead in the eye and gave me the meanest look possible. I couldn't take him seriously cause... he was shorter than me... *not size shaming i swear but when you look at me like that - i can't take you seriously* Me : I do not care if you're more macho than me, I will throw you across the gym, you tiny tiny man. And I just finished another whole bottle of water - hope you’re doing well starry! *sending hugs back*

#belle.☏#.moot🍦: ✨ anon

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drizzileiscool · 7 months

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pinned post

TERFS, RACISTS, LGBT-PHOBES, PEDOS AND PROSHIPPERS, KINDLY FUCK RIGHT OFF!

(nsfw accounts as well but I'm not as angry at you. but if you post drizzile nsfw then get the fuck away from me)

edit: this post is outdated and will be replaced by an in-character post soon!!

yo! welcome to drizzileiscool, one of the only drizzile propaganda accounts to exist (that is currently still active at the time of writing this)

here you will see me post and reblog things related to drizziles, the best emo middle stage water starter from galar!

occasionally I will also post some things related to my personal life (as well as things that aren't drizziles due to this being my only blog and I want to interact with more people), but if you're only here for the funny persona 3 lizard, you can filter out #not drizzile

this blog is mainly sfw but I will occasionally post some mentions of suggestive stuff as well as a small amount of nsfw jokes (if they're funny enough to warrant me rb'ing them)

blog owner is a minor, please do not talk to me about anything nsfw unless it is related to the conversation

About the blog owner: I am non binary, use any pronouns, and im also bisexual and autistic. I mainly go by either drizzile or sig, but drizzile is preferred if you don't know me from twitter

i will also occasionally be a drizzile if it's funny

if you want to see more(?) of me not posting drizziles however, you can also follow my twitter at sigpuyopuyo

read my carrd btw

tags under the cut

not drizzile - personal stuff, as well as things that, y'know, aren't drizziles. reblogs of other people will not be tagged because I'm too lazy

ideas of drizzile - interesting ideas for different things I want to be real (but aren't)

drizzile is liveblogging - liveblogging things like games, shows, anime, and movies. will definitely clog up your dash so feel free to blacklist this

drizzileposting - pretending to be a drizzile or just interacting with pkmn irl blogs while I'm in character (this tag is no longer being used)

tw suggestive - mentions of suggestive stuff, as well as suggestive/nsfw jokes and memes (posts will probably be deleted if I feel like people don't want to see them, but I will gladly delete them if asked to!)

drizzile tagging tag - me creating tags (ironically this tag wasn't actually made by me lol. it was created by thatoneguy031) (too shy to actually tag you but if you see this congrats you made this tag)

hey future drizzile you should draw this - ideas of things I want to draw but couldn't draw at the time of posting

a Drizzile's Diary - the thing I wrote, originally just a small backstory thing for the (now gone) pkmn irl side of this blog. a human hears about a rumor at school that you can no-clip into the mystery dungeon universe, does exactly that, and wakes up as a drizzile with no memories and only the diary they were holding when they no-clipped. this is no longer canon to the pkmn irl side of this account

important - things that I consider important to this blog, such as announcements

tw politics - references to politics

vent - me being pissed off and depressed

#pinned post #pokemon #drizzile

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ghostprinceiii · 4 years

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It's 12:23am and I have everything I need for this recipe except vanilla. Fuck me I guess.

#i cant even substitute anything else cuz ive never used the recipe before and all the actual baking supplies are at my moms house and my #dad wont drive me to go look through the cupboard.#ive been angry and restless all fucking day and all i wanna do is be quiet and make something but instead im missing ONE INGREDIENT.#so i cant make this.#and the kitchen is connected to the livingroom because my house is so frustratingly small and i can hear my dad yelling at his videogame and #its making me tense again and i miss the house i grew up in and nothings been okay for years #and im isolating myself from all my friends and it sucks but i dont really wanna talk to anyone because anytime i open my mouth its just to #complain about everything and how much i hate myself and noone wants to hear that. *I* dont want to hear that!#anyways i dont have any vanilla and i dont want to wait for tomorrow so maybe ill just check my cinnamon rolls recipe even if it #takes longer because at least it doesnt use vanilla and its not something from a box that just makes me feel bad about myself.#I wanna *make* something. i dont wanna eat it (i dont wanna eat *anything*) but i wanna make it.#and tomorrow im supposed to be helping with construction stuff and then i have homework ans i almost hope it keeps raining all day again so #we cant go get the drywall and i can just curl into a ball and sleep the day away #anyways #ghostprince posts #vent #but basically only in the tags i guess #whatever #im tryna make Coffeecake Muffins btw

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fuck-customers · 3 years

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First, im sorry my submits are so long... I feel like i never see them posted because everything looks scripted or fake, but really? I write books in my free time, so its prolly the way I format my scenarios, or im doing something against the rules and don't even know it, but yaknow, ~delete if not allowed~

I work at Northestern Coffe Chain and I just had my first? (Second??) "You're rude!" Incident. yaaaay.

I'm still kind of new, so I can't do a lot of things as easily as my other coworkers. One of those things is that I cannot ring up gift cards properly. Every time I try to ring it up along with someone's order, I end up having to void everything, rering their food, cash out, then start the gift card process. Its especially stupid when someone says they want a NEW gift card with their coffee and try to pay for said coffee with an OLD gift card. Every time, without fail!!, these transactions cost me minutes, costs the store angry customers, and costs me and my manager stress when she decides to further aggravate my anxiety by yelling at me to go faster than mach speed. But anyway, thats just for reference...

So the incident goes like this: a woman pulls up to my window and says she wants a 25$ gift card with her frozen coffee. I say "okay! It'll be about 5 bucks for the coffee." And she repeats herself about the card. I say "yes, I've heard you. I gotta charge the drink first. May I please have 4.89$?" And she gives me a look and says "and my 25 dollar gift card?" Ma'am, I've heard you the first five times. This isn't the first time I've had to repeat myself like this, so I squat past the plastic shield and look her in the eyes as I speak as clearly as I can, because I'm not sure if she's hearing me. I tell her, "Ma'am, I cannot do a gift card purchase with your order. I have to do them separately because its faster. I heard and understand you about your gift card, but I need to charge you for you drink first. Unless you wanted to use the gift card to purchase, then I'll do that first-" only to get interrupted by her. She says "so can you charge me for the drink and card then?" And then I sighed, it was purely involuntary. I look at my hands folded on my countertop and said calmly, "I have to charge your drink first. And then we'll swipe your card for the gift card. Thats how it needs to be done." At this point we've spent a whole three minutes on this. As I'm ringing out her card, she asks me for my name. I was already shaking out of fear of what would come next, but I had to tell myself that I know I did nothing wrong. She asked if my name was Tiff or Tiffany and I tell her that my name tag is fake (because it is. I LOOK like a Tiffany, but I'm NOT Tiffany.) A joke amongst my coworkers because I left my real tag at home by mistake (very true, btw). I write my real name on her receipt and tell her "This is how you spell it for when you do what you need to do." And she takes it, a confused look on her face and says "you were very rude!" And without missing a beat I say "im sorry, ma'am. I was in no way trying to put any disrespect towards you. I just needed to make sure my system didn't shut down on me. I wasn't trying to be rude whatsoever, thats why I gave you my reall name." And she still looks baffled at how calm im handling my "attitude problem". She just keeps saying I was rude over and over again. And then I walked away to grab her drink because my slow coworker forgot about it listening to me agree with this woman. As I walk, she calls to said coworker and nags about her frozen drink. She responds with "she's grabbing it right now" and closes the window on her face. Almsot immediately, my other coworker tells me that I can make gift card purchases on top of orders, and I had to explain every time I try I always do it wrong so I do it separately because its less of a hassle. To which, everyone completely understood! But when I explain to them why this woman was asking for my name, thats when they felt my frustration. Now that I had them telling me I did absolutely nothing wrong, it was easier to calm down and move on to the next customer.

About five minutes later, I asked around to make sure that I should write a report because usually at my old jobs they'd have me write a report just in case the customer actually makes it to corporate. Everyone said don't bother because I did nothing wrong... but I'm so scared this shit will get me suspended I have to vent here. I'm gonna write an official report in my notebook I keep in my work bag, just in case when I punch in tomorrow or anytime this week, my ass of a manager knows whats up. I'd be damned if she fires me for some "continuous attitude problem" its called social anxiety and auditory delay, im sorry you gotta say shit twice for me to hear it and im sorry I have a tone when I get scared, but I assure you there's no attitude that you speak of.

The weird part is that I still kind of like this job 🤔

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dukeofonions · 3 years

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hi so i.found ur blog and its honestly like a breath of fresh air to look at so if its ok i might just fuckin,,vent here.

so. ik a lot of other people have been talking abt how pof was really straining to watch and i am.very late to the party but i need to talk abt it bcz holy fuck. when i first watched it i was in a way better place mwntally, also the general excitement of wow,content kinda overrode the headache and the eye hurty and the just. bad. but i was rewatching it recently because i was basing a fic off it and i just. i couldnt finish it because all of it was just so much and there was no fuckin warning?? so that was pog ig

next thing because i have. a lot of thoughts. ive been in the fandom for not-very-long, i joined in the middle of 2019 or something.and it just kinda sucks because im only still here for the fandom. i love the series but i can only watch dwit and compilations of logan/roman being sad so much before i can basically recite them off the top of my head. but i reallyreally love writing for the fandom!! it makes me so happy to do the writing, its just the fact that im not as invested with the series that makes me feel,,idk man guilty ig?? anyway thats too deep for a rant so im.a move on

god so tw me not liking post aa virgil and me talking abt toxic friends but hoooly fuck man. i just. pre aa virgil was fun because he was snarky and sarcastic and i could actually stand the nagst because his character made sense?? he was the 'bad guy' and he wasnt as woobified back then and he was honestly a solid vibe. but post aa virgil gives off the vibe of that one friend who fuckin, gets angry at you when you bring up any of your mental health issues and then blames their outburst on their mental health issuea and its like?? no i hate that character dynamic. people say bad things when the feel bad, sure, ik i have, but its the vibe of 'im gonna threaten you and then blame it on my mental health but if you so much as look at me wrong while ur having sensory overload or something i will smite you with the force of one thousand suns' and i am just.so tired. also ithink someone else said this but we should just call the series 'virgil sanders and the rest' because thats what it is now ksbdjqkbsq

also (all ofthese are my opinions btw and im not trying to say im rigbt im just tired honestly) the way. in pof the way patton's whole thing is 'you need empathy' is not funky fresh for both people with low empathy and high empathy 😎 bcz ppl with too much/too little empathy are always told theyre 'cold' or that theyre 'oversensitive', the whole 'there is an average amount of empathy and if u dont have that fuck you actually' is icky and bad and gross. i do think patton's character is really well done in the series but that episode jjust personally. ick.

and finally the moment uve not been waiting for bcz this is probably really tiring to read but the moment youve been waiting for-fwsa.just. why. its cute and stuff and i love nico. nico is a vibe. also bathroom man john is great. but shouldnt roman still be on shit terms with thomas?? like lk we're just gonna sweep away the whole 'i thought i wad ur hero' shizz? cool cool, glad to know romans arc still aint happening. also i get it, we needed to cement that virgil is a light side now. but like..did we?? actually bcz this is so long im gonna send in a second ask (im sososorry if this clogs up ur ask box if u tell me to stop i will i just. many thoughts) abt how even though i hate virgil, his arc should have been done. so differently. just gonna put like,, a mushroom emoji here so u can put the 2 asks together if u want 🍄

You’re always free to vent here! Sorry it took so long to respond but life has a cruel habit of getting in the way of things I need to do.

So for starters, the POF problem should be talked about more so I can assure you that you’re not late to the party. It never really got the amount of attention it deserved so I am more than willing to bring that back up and trust me, you’re not alone.

And again, you’re not alone in this either! Plenty of people still enjoy creating content for these characters. You don’t have to feel guilty for not finding the actual series interesting because honestly, I’m kinda losing interest too. But I still love these characters and I love that the fandom is still creating stories with them through different mediums.

Honestly I agree with just about everything you said about Virgil and I do eventually plan on tackling a lot of this in a future post. You know, if I ever force myself to just sit down and write the dang thing...

Oh my gosh I’ve been waiting for someone to talk about this because that whole thing about empathy in POF really ticked me off because you’re absolutely right, not everyone is 100% empathetic, and some people can be empathetic to a point where it hurts themselves. Like I get what they were trying to say but it came across as, well, like you said. “If you’re don’t have this exact level of empathy then eff you I guess you’re a bad person.” Maybe that actually wasn’t their intention but it sure came across that way and maybe I’ll go into it a little more in another post because now that I’ve been reminded of it again I kinda wanna talk about it more.

Okay yes, FWSA on its own is a good episode. Heck, it’s one of my favorites. It feels closer to a season one episode than ATHD that’s for sure. The problem with this episode isn’t the quality but the fact that it comes right after POF. And I’ve basically gone over this in my “Problem With Asides” post and how it affects both Roman and Virgil’s current arcs so I won’t go into much more detail here but just know that I pretty much agree with all of this.

Also don’t worry about cluttering up my inbox. It’s here for people to share their thoughts and that’s exactly what you’re doing! Hope to see your part two soon mushroom anon!

#dukeofasks #ts criticism #virgil criticism #pofaffair

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sunsetsover · 3 years

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"I swear half this fandom don't actually like Ben" lmao true! Thing is though he's not likeable all the time and he can be a right old dick. But personally even if I don't like him or his actions at certain times, I feel like the broader picture is still there and I root for him because I get why he's like he is? And I can see and appreciate the softer sides of him even if they're fairly well hidden at times.

I also think some people in the fandom intellectually understand that he's traumatised and a survivor of various abuses, and when that shows in certain ways e.g. like if Callum or Lola is comforting while he's crying. But when it comes to situations like this week with Jags and Whitney, I personally think some people have struggled to understand how his trauma connects to it because it's not as obvious as e.g. Whitney's fiance dies, Gray manipulates her, bish bash bosh hit and run. Even more broadly I think it's easy for the audience to underestimate how Ben's experiences have shaped him because there's a distance created by time, his criminal actions, his (un)likeability factor, not viewing Phil as an abusive parent etc.

I don't wanna say everyone criticising him is like that btw! I'm sure there's a few reasons but I think this plays a part tbh.

i get what you're saying but to me it's like.... why would you even waste so much time invested into someone you don't like most of the time. i genuinely don't get it. ppl tend to ship ballum but hate ben AND hate the majority of the sls lately and it's like.... it's 2021 bro it's not like gay couples are THAT rare anymore there is so much media out there if you're not enjoying what ee are doing then you literally do not have to watch. in fact im BEGGING you for your sake not to. literally just do not engage with media that you aren't enjoying. do not sit in your own negativity writing 20 posts a day abt 'why are they doing this? why don't they do that? if they did this i would enjoy it more' bc you're only making yourself miserable. like this goes for any type of media but literally just stop engaging w it if you're not enjoying it anymore. the think pieces don't help anyone. your opinions aren't universal and they aren't gospel. we all need to stop confusing our opinions w facts. just bc i'm not enjoying smth doesn't mean other ppl aren't and vice versa. just bc i'm not enjoying smth doesn't mean that the thing needs to change. eg i hate the fact that callum is a copper and pray every day that something will force him out of it BUT it doesn't really affect my overall enjoyment of him as a character and it doesn't mean that the show has to make him quit just bc i don't like it. you (the royal you not u specifically anon lmao) might hate the fact that ben still does illegal stuff but that doesn't mean the show has to make him stop just bc you don't like it. if it affects how much you enjoy him as a character/ben and callum as a couple then maybe consider stopping watching. festering in the energy of 'i hate this, i hate what they're doing and here's 1200 words why' is unhealthy! i learned this the hard way !

i know this seems like an irrelevant ramble but i think i've realized that this is what my issue is. ppl not understanding trauma is frustrating and damaging and still pisses me off, but i feel like what actually pisses me off more are the ppl who just don't even attempt to be understanding bc underneath it all they're angry/frustrated at the show/sls and that's how it manifests itself. ppl don't like the direction ben and/or callum are going in and so the minute they (and it's usually ben lbr) step out of line they JUMP on that as an excuse to vent their frustrations and often end up saying shit that is ignorant or damaging or mean or just straight up cruel abt things that are so often symptoms of mental illness or trauma. so they're out here posting so many things and making these cruel little comments bc they can't just acknowledge that they don't actually like ballum anymore meanwhile ppl who are actually disabled/mentally ill/traumatised are sitting there reading all of these things and seeing all the people agreeing w them and it's doing real life damage to people.

is it on purpose? probably not. but that doesn't make the damage any less real. i have never forgotten or forgiven the way ppl reacted after ben went deaf. it was vile. as a disabled person who reacted very badly to being disabled just like ben did, it genuinely fucked me in the head seeing what ppl said abt him during that time. now i understand that it was partially ignorance but also a big chunk of it was ppl being unhappy bc they thought they wouldn't be able to enjoy their ship anymore bc ben was disabled (not that he hadn't been disabled before, but now it wasn't ignorable anymore).

idk there's more i could say but i feel like it's pointless. ppl don't care lmao all they care abt is their ship. which, ok fine whatever, but stop letting ur mentally ill/traumatised/disabled followers get caught in the crossfire bc you can't just admit you're not enjoying it anymore and feel the need to tear the thing down and rant about how it's 'bad writing' or 'out of character' etc etc. it's frustrating to read (which is why im never on here anymore) and speaking from experience it hurts YOU in the long run. negativity breeds more negativity.

you don't need to make excuses! just let it go! find something that does make you happy! you deserve that! and we deserve to be able to enjoy something without seeing ppl tearing it (or worse - us) down every 5 minutes !!

(edit - to clarify anon none of this was aimed at you i just sort of started ranting and didn't even really answer ur question im sorry !! i get what ur saying tho lmao 💞💞💞)

#eastenders #anon #question #like it's just nitpicking and it's too much it's tired #how are you mad they're still social distancing ? you are literally just looking for smth to be mad at atp #like please im begging just admit it's not something you enjoy anymore and GO #i just want peace... that's all i want

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beizhuo · 3 years

Text

alright folks , i made this post last night about amending my carrd rules . & now , after calming somewhat down from getting sick to my stomach about it , i must now make one final update post about this to make people really & fully understand where i stand . why ? because i am , once again , having / needing to finely comb through the people i want to follow & interact with due to some very , VERY toxic behavior & terrible , childish individuals that think its real cute to stalk , harrass , steal , & gatekeep folks .

understand that i will NOT be namedropping anybody in this post . this is not my intention . i am not out here to isolate folks or make people ‘ chose sides ’ . making people do that is absolutely horrible ! i do not give a damn who other people interact with . i do , however have extreme issues with theft ( amongst other things ) . i can draw a god damn line at theft !

harassment ? don’t care . you’re trolling , i can ignore you . gatekeeping . you’e petty and attention seeking im here for friends anyway . but actual literal theft - i can draw a line there . please get out & OFF MY BLOG if you are so unoriginal that you haveta steal from me or my friends !

please know that you can interact with those thieves & gatekeepers , i don’t care ! but understand that i will most likely softblock you because i genuinely do not want them to find me . no hard feelings . ( they have found my other 2 blogs , and i am tired of them finding me ! especially for baizhu ! i don’t even follow some of my friends here cause of this ! ) i am not even in the genshin community to begin with . my group ? we don’t do communities for toxic behavior and people being so exclusive to the point of driving people out & away . its distasteful and mean ! do you know that i have some friends that were cut off from communities entirely all because they were a dupe ? tHAT is the kind of dupe drama i fucking hate . along with theft . anyway . i will start from the beginning of my rules that i deem important .

DUPLICATES . ( AND MIMICRY / THEFT )

the irony that this is the first point . it is like it was a wonderful transition . anyway . this is actually having to deal with two rule points . and i want to group them together cause they are related .

myself & a few other people have come to find out that .... there is somebody AT THE VERY LEAST taking inspo from us . i will start with dupes .

my friend has a character and was WHOLLY mistaken for another mun . which is fine . that happens , but things took a turn for the worse when they were then shunned / cut off because they werent ‘ good enough ’ . do you know how HORRIBLE that is ? to be told that you aren’t good because you weren’t the mun that they wanted ? this is the type of shit i cannot stand with dupe drama . DO NOT EVER COMPARE DUPES WITH ONE ANOTHER !!! i mean it .

i follow different childes ! and you know what i adore them both . they are both amazing !

sure i may have my mains / exclusives ( and im not inclined to interact with other blogs of that same character ) but i still like portrayals . i do , in fact , just READ threads sometimes . i don’t necessarily follow for interactions . like ffs man . i like variety . jesus christ .

going to mimicry / theft . you know ... i have fucking seen this with a couple of friends . there is a difference between coincidental similarities , however ! for myself & for my friends , we have SEEN inspo taken from us . im gonna say this really loud for people .

MIMICRY IS NOT FUCKING FLATTERY .

do not take inspo from me . especially without credit . absolutely do NOT do it . you are very unoriginal for doing that shit .

now , you like something i make / made ? you are inspired to want to make something ? fine , that’s okay , you can ALSO fucking ask me , you can also credit me . as you fucking should ! you can notify me and go , damn , i really like your style , do you mind if i use it in xyz ? sure , go right ahead . do it . im begging you , go ahead and do it IF YOU FUCKING ASK ME . god im so fucking angry about this , but this is some vile shit . and im angry .

i am angry and terrified cause i literally cannot get away from these people cause they seem to be wherever i go . i DO NOT DO COMMUNITIES BECAUSE OF THIS .

as a good friend said : it’s like they are a virus that you cannot get rid of .

thats what happens with attention seekers unfortunately , but for the sake of my safety & health , i will not have it on my blog or dash . if i see these people on my dash often , i will unfollow .

and it isn’t like a specific person , its a GROUP of people . which leads me to my next point .

DRAMA / CALLOUTS.

imagine having beef with an individual , and then going around and gatekeeping that individual and getting people to unfollow / block them . im not talking about , ‘ hey this person is vile because they ship incest ’ . i am talking about ‘ i had a disagreement with this person & they hurt my feelings >:/ they are mean and will hurt you . etc etc etc . ’

i do not give a flying fuck about somebodies issues with another person . so you guys don’t get along . not my problem . i have people that hate me . i have friends where i hate their friends . shit happens . i am probably absolute scum to some people lol . i get mistaken for other people sometimes . it’s fine , hate me cause you think im that person . that person is snowflake repellent anyway , go choke on your kool aide that you are drinking ig .

okay sorry i am angry but still . people claim and cry about wanting to talk & communicate . but then . guess what . sometimes shitty people are like , so this person said this to me , and they are mean . IF YOU ARE THE PERSON THAT GOES ‘ OH MY GOD HOW DARE THEY ’ AND BLOCK THEM THEN YOU ARE THE PROBLEM . i will give an example . of using my two names that i have .

somebody goes to amphy and says ‘omg ghost said this , and im frustrated and angry with them cause what he said was uncalled for . ’ if amphy goes ‘ omg ghost is shitty ’ and then unfollows / blocks them without any other discussion , then thats an issue cause ghost has no idea wtf happen . amphy got involved in YOUR relationship with ghost even though ghost has been nothing but kind and sweet to you . you also don’t know if amphy is just victimising or being emotional either . so why they fuck would you believe somebody who is venting to you about it and then block somebody who did literally NOTHING to you .

i dont know if i explained that correctly but i will give you something more realistic , again without namedropping .

i have a few friends that hate one another . i’ve known all of them for years . but they all , i kid you not , they ALL fucking hate each other . there’s three of them . and they cannot stand each other . i just happen to be somebody who gets along with all of them . you bet your ass that at one point , they all came to talk mad shit about the others . what did i do ? i went , oh okay . well im sorry that you have issues with them . sounds like a bad experience , but i can’t do anything about that cause i am not you and i am not them . if you are gonna change my mind , it isn’t gonna happen , sorry !

i have had people shit talk people i have no idea who they are , and i just sit here just being a source for them to vent , but i never NEVER EVER act on anything i hear . why ? cause its petty drama and gossip . if you do that , then damn , sorry kiddo , get some help on that alright ? maybe be nicer . i dunno .

now . racism ? pedophilia ? incest ? HARMFUL SHIT ? that’s different . but again , theres a lot of miscommunication . i have people coming and pulling the cards like they are hot shit and that isn’t fucking cute . THAT ISN’T CUTE GUYS . you are the problem if you try to victimize yourself cause of something YOU misinterpreted .

i have a friend that has this on their blog .

i am literally going off on a god damn tangent . anyway . :)

fuck you if drink kool aide .

THERE ARE OTHER MENTAL DISORDERS! YOU ARE ABLEIST IS YOU ERASE THE OTHER (UN)COMMON ONES.

i know that autism is the ‘common’ one here . you are valid okay . but guess what . ADHD , BPD, DiD, and straight up depression and anxiety are also things as well ! there are MANY folks here that are also undiagnosed as well OR they lay on some sort of spectrum as well . I am once again not going to disclose my own things here cause again THAT IS PRIVATE INFO , but fuck you if you refuse to see other disabilities .

also there are physical disabilities as well btw .

if you are not understanding of any other disability , or you wanna mute / deafen other mental disorders , YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM .

end of story .

treat other people how you want them to treat you and don’t you dare ever shove your baggage at them . thanks .

please be more understanding that some people are not okay:tm: .

i implore you to get help if you need help , but sometimes some people dont have to take your shit . and they most certainly do not need to sit and take your issues if they are not okay either . its toxic and very unhealthy behavior to expect others to help you . they can help you as best as they can , but you need to understand that everybody has their moments . do not guilttrip them . do not gaslight them .

but also understand that sometimes , people are saying things cause they genuinely need help ! you can be there for them but as a friend , you need to also tell them your own boundaries as well and tell them that they need to seek professional help .

but also , if somebody refuses to get help , then that is on them . not on you .

anyway another tangent , but back to the point . autism , while you need to understand is something you need to see and understand , is not the only mental disorder ! and you need to understand that some people suffer from really REALLY shitty things and are sometimes undiagnosed . i am really REALLY tired of depression , ADHD , BPD, and DiD getting brushed under the rug like they are not important . cause guess what , there are spectrums ! all mental health is important . fuck you if you disregard the other disorders , you are being ableist .

STOP HATE READING PEOPLE.

im really sick and tired of this . you don’t like something somebody said ? you can either : ask what they meant or block / unfollow them .

DO NOT FUCKING STALK THEM EITHER .

you have an obsession if you hover on their blog too .. do not do that . that is SO unhealthy for you . here is what a friend said on twitter . ( not name dropping them , just copy pasting them )

❛ i stg people need to fine a better hobby than to hate read a persons blog or profile. not a good look on you when you go and read what they post about just to get angry at something you think they said and then you go off spewing lies about it cause 'youre offended.'

like you already hate them in the first place. you weren’t 'looking to see if they were a better person.' youre just looking to find another thing to hate about them.

that is what hate reading is about. so you can read their posts and find just another reason to hate and laugh at how bad you think they are.

but it doesnt make you a better person. it just makes you a sad person with no life. stop hate reading people. grow tf up. go breathe on some plants or something idk.

i say this very loud and clear . if you hate read me , i live in your head rent free . not my problem . but it does become my problem if you begin to steal shit and start spewing lies about myself or my friends . grow up and move on with your life . sorry my life seems more interesting than you ig . idk .

anway this got long , and at this point i am going off on a tangent but !!!!

TL ; DR

read my rules ig . idk .

you can dm me for more info if you want . at this point i have blocked the problem blogs for myself. if you are curious you can ask . HOWEVER. i am not going to tell you to block or unfollow . why ? cause at the end of the day , it is MY beef . this are my issues . i am NOT here to gatekeep .

i will say that i will tell you IN private the for MY story . but keep in mind that it is MY story . not yours . not theirs . it is all about perception .

my perception is that they are scummy gatekeeping thieves . they gatekeep the people they dont like or are intimidated by . i am somebody who fucking bites and calls people out on their shit , because of this ? i make enemies . but my enemies are not yours . i dont care . dont give a damn . i am intimidating to people who are cowards and i don’t care .

if they feel bad when i call them out , if they try to go around and do damage control , then that means they are guilty .

and then you can ask yourself this : why are they reacting like that ?

i am once again going to bring up that other twitter user that i quoted before .

❛ you dont like hearing that because someone is holding a mirror up to you and it makes you uncomfortable because you know you . and you know the parts of you that are good . so in your heart you have to come up with a narrative that makes you feel better about the fact that somebody is asking your to confront the parts about yourself that you hate the most .

anyway . this got long . im so sorry for the long read . im so sorry i sounded hostile ad angry . im just volatile sometimes . im just really tired . and i dont need to come on this blog and have a panic attack .

anyway . cheers loves ! stay happy , stay healthy . drink your fluids . take your meds !

#long post.#update tbd.#ooc tbd.#// i have no idea what else to tag this tbh .#there is drama mentions though so there is that i guess ?#but this is all important so ...#anyway ...#read / skim this or perish 🔪#also if you wanna like this to let me know you read / agree with this go ahead .#im not checking for typos i am tired .

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beetlemancy · 4 years

Note

Not angry venting but more gosh i really dislike that i keep trying to get back into watching live then I see matt making a rules calling that isnt correct and IM annoyed and i hate *that* emotional response, (specifically in this case not letting jester drop conc - which by the rules she is very much allowed to do at anytime), so again not angry venting *at matt* and more gosh i wish i didnt have standards on matt that he has no responsibility to me to keep, but somehow i still care about :(

hey, I’m gonna put the rest of your (relevant) asks and my response to them under this read more for brevity, and encourage anyone who gets up in their feelings about this ask to read the followups because they are far more important for context on this subject - AND please know that these asks were sent before the stuff that went down later in the episode. Also, those reading should take their time because its a wishy washy subject that can get sensitive but this is absolutely done in good faith and I think its important for us to acknowledge these feelings in ourselves when they come up!(also the last time I posted a long ass post like this the format got all wonky after I looked at it on mobile, so if its all one big paragraph - it was not intended to be that way and i’ll fix it soon)

Ask 2-3: just sent that ask and i want to clarify, its not bad matt not being RAW, follow the rules or perish. its more, hes a great dm and making a rules call that disadvantages the players for a reason i can not understand at all makes me feel not happy despite the fact that i know im not a player and this isnt actually effecting me personally, yet i sit here with my negative emotions and idea how to force myself to not feel them :(((((i told myself that was going to be my last ask of the night but for the sake of being clear with you) i also wonder how much of my being upset about being upset is that i dont want to be in the same camp as twitter / reddit ppl who get on matt about rules calls and are cruel to him about it, and just agreeing with their base statement makes me feel like im saying its okay to do that

Mmk. There’s sort of two main subjects I wanna cover: the action and the feeling.The basic truth is that occasionally we get feelings that remind us of the rage of people we do not want to be. This is human, and it happens in life in so many ways, not just in fandom. However, I’ll stick with CR for now. We see the Twitter and Reddit threads that berate Matt and the players for rule issues and we think, we would never be that up in our feelings, right? But it is so much less about what we feel and more about what our actions are.

The people who make those posts? Some of them are full of so much hate for something that they just use this as an opportunity to lash out. Others are genuinely trying to be helpful and just don’t understand the concept that they are not the only person on the internet and that often times one person saying something is benign but that hundreds of people saying it is malicious. Sometimes people might not even feel that much about the subject but want to join the fight because its something to do or because their peers/friends are.

What defines the result of ANY rules lawyering post online is not the reason they made the post, though, is it? Its simply that they did. Their intent doesn’t really matter that much - a post was still made, and posts were made on top of that post, and those posts, and now we’ve got a flame war - intent be damned.

By the same nature, if you don’t make that post? It doesn’t matter what your feelings are on the topic. You choose to not add to that noise. Take that win and feel good about it! (btw, sending someone an ask to parse through your feelings on the subject isn’t ‘making that post’ either)

Okay. Now - about the feelings.

I’m honestly with you there and have been the last few combat scenarios. I’ve noticed myself wondering if Matt is getting more and more ‘me vs them’ in his combat DM style because it feels that way to me. I’m guessing that a lot of my discomfort also has to do with my inherent sense of black-and-white Fairness - being Autistic comes with that privilege for a lot of us. ADHD Cousins can get theirs in maroon I think, but they have to order it special. ;)

I grapple a lot with my feelings on combat in CR when it does start to feel antagonistic or unfair to one or more players (or sometimes even Matt himself!). Here is what I do: well, for one, compartmentalize until the next day or two. CR brings up a lot of feelings. Its a lot of story and I get super immersed. The emotions are high for everyone during a good episode, sometimes especially during combat, and so I allow myself the cool down time before I really look at it again.

After that time, if I still feel the same way and it still bugs me, I watch stuff where they talk about how much they love each other. I play that clip of Liam saying ITS A GAME! over and over. I get super in deep with the Critmas vids or another Talks episode I really love. That’s what helps me kick it, in the end. The visual and auditory reminder that these are friends and sometimes friends have a little tension when they are all in a state of high adrenaline but that they clearly would not do this if it wasn’t fun for them anymore.

I do have a buddy of mine that is really hardcore Justice. He is, straight up, like Justice from Dragon Age. The guy is Fairness with a capital F, and his method of dealing is different from mine: he doesn’t watch combat from any TTRPG show. He just avoids it, because he doesn’t wanna be That Guy on reddit, but the intensity with which he feels the call to correct wrongs is very strong. He takes himself out of the equation, reads a recap or asks friends, and then can engage healthily with the RP and the story outside of combat. Its a good system for him.

Maybe you can find a method similar to either of these options? Maybe you just need a healthy place to vent about it. For that, I’d suggest a discord or a friend (or me off anon and then I won’t publish if you ask me not to! or send me a pm!). Or perhaps you need to reevaluate how you watch CR and what you’re willing to give up in order to not feel this way. Or maybe binge watching some quality CR wholesomeness will help those feelings dampen. Either way, you are not Wrong for feeling. We just have to watch our actions.

#cr spoilers #long post #Anonymous #reelings

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just-antithings · 4 years

Note

so ive been in the death note fandom for like 3 years now (yup tht’s still alive lol) & last week was the 1st time we had any actual discourse in the fandom & and a friend of mine started it. it was basically about one green-haired(canon) (red in fanon) dude, who showed up in the show for half a minute and then died, being too popular and its hilarious. cuz yea, hes got 10 manga panels and hes a fandom fave w more fans than all female charas combined. tht’s what they complained abt and im dead,1

cuz everyone is super angry about it!! the friend who started it (accidentally btw, they just vented on their own blog but w/e) is 15, and the ones who got mad about the post are rp blogs of that character and stans. its wild, and idk why but i found this all so funny and wanted to let yall know. if you wanna read more abt this mess, look up the tag “#matt discourse”!! 2 (i’m the anon from the other ask tht meantioned death note, ran out of digits earlier!! ^^’)

#mod erin #just anti things #posting without comment #ask

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armouredgoblin · 4 years

Text

Im fucking angry

Its been a long time since i have actually posted anything on here. But now I need to vent Ive seen so much shit going on that it makes me want to scream for some common sense

I dont care about your Identity. I only care if you are a good person Once you force your identity into the conversation and make it litterally only about that, its not “Oh it doesnt mean that X and Y dont matter” its “My Identity comes first before anything that might counter that argument” Right now I am seeing people attacking each other PURELY over racial skin tone ON ALL SIDES.

Im seeing history being wiped out for something that we thought was normal 100′s to 1000′s of years ago but then the west took it upon themselves to remove as much as possible. If you havent guessed its slavery btw Im seeing people litterally creating a lawless part of a city and cry when they cannot get their extremly priverliged food “Vegan and soy products”. Congratulations people you are so privilage you have the CHOICE of foods you can buy, but now you put yourselves into a situation where you cannot get more of it thanks to the systems you have derailed completely that worked fine until you fucking idiots.

The Media is so baised its now just stupid. Claiming that the stabbings in scotland would have been provented if we had given the “asylum Seekers” more free shit? They openly Dox people who dont just take the narritive that they try to spoon feed to us. Good morning britain had a person saying that they should have translated the warnings in Lester into other languages because of their highly Diverse population. Im pretty sure that the main language in Britian is English. Ive also noticed that the places with the most Diverse Populations have the worst issues (cough cough London)

Speaking of Diversity. Shut the fuck up Khan (The london mayor). During your time london has become a cesspit of bullshit and is no longer an English city. Its so bad that the Native population of the country is out numbered in our own capital city. It is not a strength when more and more issues are coming up because you dont have the balls to deal with the issues because WACISM. I have seen better Mayoral canadates in my toilet than you and your Divesity is our strength PR bullshitter. You can also take that fucking internet police you keep pouring money into because people are getting offended on the internet with “non crime hate crimes” Also fuck Hate crime laws they are over reaching and too vague to be any use.

People are being Cancelled left right and center because of things that they have said over 10 years ago in some cases. like Fucking hell give them some time to learn from their mistakes or is it a case of that they can never change, Because if you watch/ read some of their latest stuff it shows that they are different people now.

Anyone who disagrees with the current bias as well is labeled as “Far Right”, how about go fuck yourselves. That means the majority of the normal thinking world is far right by your own standards including some of those who think even a iota out of place.

Im going to say something now I do not agree with the current movement. Its no longer about what it was origonally, its now a completely Marxist and Maoist movement bent on changing the free fucking western world into a bullshit 3rd world. Sure things are not perfect but you lot creating more divides based on your ever increasing Identities and numerous labels you give yourselves and others are causing more problems than they solve.

Did you know that silencing anyone that disagrees with you can force and opinon that could be massively seen as negative can cause more underground movments to spread. Sunlight is the best disinfectent, keeping things in the light allows debate and the chance for people to understand what the others are saying instead of out right deleting them.

Did you know that slavery is happening in africa? or dont they count? ON another note did you know that the Irish were also persecuted and treated like shit? Did you know that Islam the religion which is protected by fucking everyone on the left will activly erode your freedoms and throw you off of a building for being anything but straight? also it is in their text that slaves are a thing? Its also a point that their Prophet is a bloody pedophile.

Did you know that the most rascism we see in history is happens to be visable now because we think FAR FAR differently to back then? Did you know that Communism no matter what form it has taken has claimed 10′s of millions of lives? there is no such thing is not “real communism”.

Did you know that not everything is Trumps or the Conservatives (uk) fault? in fact a good number of the counsils or the cities run by labour(UK) and the Democrats(US) are the worst run of them all with the highest crime and allowing something like CHAZ or CHOP to happen. Now people are just roaming around stealing and harming others within that zone because the police are being ordered not to enter by the fucking Mayor of the city that this “Socialist Haven” resides in. YOU EVEN SEGREGATE WHOLE ZONES JUST FOR ONE RACE IN THERE SO WHATS THAT ABOUT BEING RACIST ?

Did you know that Defunding the police will be a bad thing ? For example, who is going to stop a mean son of a bitch from stealing your shit or causing harm to your family? because outside of america we do not have that many rights to defend our own property (Specificly the UK) and we can be arrested for defending ourselves. Did you know a peacful protest does not include going onto privet land and then crying when someone pulls a gun on you? We have seen what a “ most peaceful protest” is by the standards that things are getting set on fire, homes and businesses and lives are being taken.

I honestly hate all this shit that is happening. So here are my suggestions Fucking sit down and learn some history

Know that the Majority do not think like you and your repulsive hive mind.

Stop dividing yourselves into groups with more and more oppression points

and try to be good people.

Don’t harras, dox, cancel people.

Hate crime laws have been stupid for a long time.

I know there are bad things in this world but all you are doing is adding to the problems and in a lot of cases ignoring others that do not follow your narritive.

Love from The Llama

Ps I have saved this as a document because there is going to be at least one person out there who will want this silenced. I will not be silenced

#blm #defund cops #fuck everything #i am angry #you are wrong #listen to others #you all know what i'm talking about #History is a lesson #Marxist #maoism #common sense #dont give up #Dont bend the knee #Dont listen to everything #this will get flagged #this will be the death of me #this will be deleted

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foxpunk · 5 years

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mostly like. venting. cause even just witnessing this shit unfold has me Very shaken and also Angry and i am incapable of talking to anyone i know about this shit cause idk how to seriously talk abt my own trauma 8^) so after posting this i’ll be Off tumblr for a bit probs

dont rblg // interact if u read // trigger warnings: this is about the m*tsk* thing so…csa, sexual assault, abuse, talk of victim blaming and abuse denial

gonna get this out there, but this shit is. so upsetting. not even cause it’s abt m*tsk*, but because as a csa victim, seeing peoples’ reactions to the victim making a post about her abuse is sickening.

like?? this shit?? is not?? discourse??? this not about fucking cancel culture or whatever the fuck!! how fucking?? trivializing and cruel are you people. this is about someone having gone through multiple and extremely traumatizing things as a child at the hands of other people, ONE of whom happens to be a celebrity. this is about a living breathing human being, but it is so fucking transparent that a lot of people on here do not see the victim that way and thus are not treating her with, i dont know, basic fucking human decency.

the fact that people are treating this as just tumblr drama is cruel. the fact that people are immediately going through extreme lengths to pick at everything the op says is cruel. the fact that people are using the victim being mentally ill as an excuse to discredit everything that they say is cruel, ableist, and contributes to the culture that allows for mentally ill people to be systematically swept under the rug and easily preyed on by abusers. the fact that people are saying “its one person with no actual proof!” as their reason for discrediting her, but then go n IMMEDIATELY fucking latch onto ONE ANON claiming they were a “friend” of the victim (all of which has been proven to be false btw lmaooo) saying the victim suffers from delusions (which is, again, an ableist excuse to discredit her even if it WAS true) is so fucking telling. the fact that people are automatically on the “critical” side and/or outright disbelieving the victim after just two days is inhumane.

plus like?? it is SO OBVIOUS how all these people dont know how repeated childhood abuse fucks with you? i didnt remember what happened to me until i was like 13-15, and i didnt remember it all at once. i STILL cant remember what Exact age it happened at, all i know is i was 6 or under through the whole span of time it was happening. i still dont remember large chunks of my childhood!! trauma does that to you! shocker! our brains dont wanna remember super fucked up shit that happened to us!! who knew!!

its also supper obvious a bunch of these people DONT know SHIT how our justice and judicial system works, or how the fbi operates differently in different circumstances. and also conveniently and suddenly believe in cops (ACAB btw) in these sorts of situations but that is. a WHOLE other fucking knot of emotions in my chest that is only somewhat intertwined with this knot of emotions im letting out rn so im. not fuckin goin there lmao.

anyways if you say you support/believe victims, but don’t support/believe them if they’re mentally ill, have hazy memories of the abuse (which is literally so common especially if it happened at a young age and especially in the case of op where drugs and repeated abuse was involved), their story isn’t stereotypical, they are coming forward very “late”, they don’t go to the police directly, they don’t immediately respond perfectly to every question, or their allegation is against a celebrity you like, then you dont fucking support victims.

and even if - in some fucking statistic-bending circumstance - what the victim said was even PARTLY untrue (which a 10000% doubt lmao) it doesnt!! fucking matter!! all this shit ppl are saying is STILL ableist and STILL victim blaming and STILL a whole range of shitty!! it wouldnt change SHIT!! it doesnt absolve them of SHIT!! the fact that these ppls first actions are to discredit her through multiple different means speaks volumes of how y’all treat and think of every other victim, and is piling onto the fear every victim has about coming forward and seeking the safety/resources/support/etc we deserve.

god im just. so pissed n really shaken and its not even?? like my circumstances.

tl;dr anyone who fucking forms Opinions and Debates and Moral Judgements on anyone elses trauma - especially a complete fucking stranger - is the personification of a shitstain and they should like, die maybe idk

i hope op gets the space n care n time they deserve away from all this bullshit

#vent #tbd i just needed to get this OUTside of my brain in some way shape or form #cause if i didnt i would like #idk spontaneously combust #probably #the mitski thing

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saintkimora · 6 years

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well i finally found time to type this all up so! here is the story of how last last friday and saturday night went (not the ones from this weekend but the weekend before so like a week and a half ago). it isnt really a nice story but it is significant. first part is tristan then joel then tristan again, the tristan parts are good but the joel part is pretty bad. this is only part 1 btw! sorry @ that one anon a few days ago bc this might make you even more mad lmao

first part: tristan! so on friday i was in the library holding an online eboard meeting for gsa and tristan (the first guy i talked to for a while then hooked up with like 2 years ago and last christmas eve) was apparently studying in nexus which is the building next door to the library. and he sent me a snap (it was clearly the type you send to a lot of people it wasnt like an individual one) of him captioned i hate studying so i sent him one saying i hate planning events bc thats what i was doing. so we snapped back and forth for a while and then the library closed so i was leaving and he was like “come say hi to me in nexus” so i was like ok!

so i went and sat across the table from him and we talked for like an hour and a half and it was so nice! hes v good to talk to but our conversation dynamic was kinda similar to me and joel’s dynamic so that was interesting. he called me my voice cute at the beginning bc i was like “sorry if i sound weird im a little congested today” and he was like “no you sound like you always do, its cute” so i was like hm so then we talked and caught up and it was very good conversation! then at one point after asking how i was in general he was like “so how are you doing....romantically” and i told him how i was with someone rn but i was kinda having some issues and he was like oh ok and i asked him and he said hes looking but its hard bc people keep ghosting him so i was like aw :/ (but on the inside i was like well thats what you get for ghosting me all those years ago lmao)

also at one point i told him i go to the gym now so i have a little bit of muscle and he was like “yeah haha sure” and i was NOT about to take that so i was like “i can show you right now if you want” (i was wearing a tank and a zip up hoodie) so i took off one hoodie sleeve revealing my arm and i flexed and he was shook he was like “oh wow you werent kidding, thats actual progress” and i was like ha

after an hour and a half he had to go meet his friends or something so i went home. overall it was super nice! i loved talking to him so later that night i just sent him a nice text thanking him for spending time w me and saying how much i enjoyed it and then he thanked me for keeping him company and said he really enjoyed catching up so that was nice! then later that night things took a turn for the worst.....

so at this point it was friday night and joel and i were texting as usual, we were having a nice convo and were making jokes and what not. then after i asked about his day he texted me this “its fine but i just got another fucking email from slut A and im over it” and i was like “slut A......” and he was like “fucking tinamarie” (the girl who always causes trouble for his theatre club that gets him really pissed off even though it really isnt that serious) and i was like “yeah i figured but did you really need to call her that” and he was like “if youre literally gonna criticize every single word i say then im just gonna stop talking” so then i apologized like 3 times but he left me on read and didnt talk to me for the rest of the night

so! the second i read that final text i had like......a panic attack? or something? idk but it was a mess i got soooooooo cold instantly like i put on sweats socks a hoodie and 2 blankets and i was still trembling and my teeth were chattering so hard i couldnt even talk bc it just came out as gibberish and my toes were numb and my heart was beating fast and you know all that good stuff. i texted several hunties but none of them answered so i decided to text tristan! he was v nice and he comforted me and talked me through it which i appreciated. but like getting that text reminded me so much of the texts i would get from caleb so it just made all those feelings come rushing back and it was v overwhelming but i wasnt about to call joel about it bc he was already mad at me and i was scared i was gonna make it worse

about an hour later i sent him a long text saying how sorry i was bc he wanted to vent to me and i shut him down when i shouldve just taken his side and stuff bc i wanted to try to fix the situation. half of it was lies though like i was not sorry for what i did at all bc he should not be calling this tinamarie girl that! he didnt read that text until the next morning but even after he didnt respond. he was def still awake when i sent it though bc i saw him active on fb messenger slightly afterwards. anyways the next day tristan texted me again to check on me and see if i heard from joel which i hadnt by that point but i really appreciated that he went through the effort of doing that! joel and i had plans to go to the mall that day so i texted him around 4pm (this is saturday now) saying i hope his auditions went well and asking if he wouldve still liked to go to the mall w me. he said he wasnt feeling up for it bc hes tired and i was like not up for the mall or not up for me and he was like just the mall, you can come over instead. so i went over and brought him popeyes bc he was hungry and we hung out and watched dragula and talked and it was like a completely normal day so i was a little surprised he didnt bring up the events of last night. so like 3 eps into dragula s1 i asked him if he could pause it so we could talk so he did and this is where things got worse

so i was like “so....how are you feeling about what happened last night?” and he was like “well it was fucking annoying because i wanted to vent to you and you tried to school me, im already socially conscious, i know its wrong but it was the first thing that came to mind at the time” and i was like “well if you are mad at a woman and your first instinct is to call her that then that might be a problem” and he was like “can i be a fucking human?” like ???????????????? the STUPIDEST excuse like that makes no sense! you can be human without saying misogynistic things like.....annoying. he just had soooo many excuses he was like “oh its ok bc i would never actually say that to her face” like...ok great to know that being socially conscious is just a performative thing for you! if you only do it in public but are still problematic in private then like...whats the point

he was also like “it may seem like a small issue that isnt important to you but her emails are actually a huge problem. YOU wouldnt know since your organization isnt as involved, but her actions affect every area of the organization so its stressful to deal with her” like heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeereeeee we go again idk why he always tries to drag my gsa for no reason. i didnt even say he couldnt be stressed or angry with her i just said he shouldnt call her what he did!

so now for when it got personal. so i told him i was like “i know you were mad and wanted to cool off so i wasnt gonna force you to talk to me, but it wouldve been nice if you just sent me a text like ‘oh perry im mad and dont wanna talk rn, i need some space ill talk to you later’ instead of just ignoring me for the rest of the night” and he was like “well i didnt have time i had too much going on with the organization” and i was like “i mean it takes 10 seconds to send a text” and he was like “well i didnt want to” OH so now the truth comes out! and then he was like “i was already stressed out with the email so then its like ‘oh now i have to deal with perry too’” and like..............that was really hurtful bc literally the main reason i rarely ever bring up any issues i have to him is bc hes already so stressed with everything else and i want to be a source of happiness in his life not another source of stress so im afraid to bring things up bc i dont want to add to his stress and be another thing that he has to “deal with” so like, he literally vocalized the exact reason im afraid to talk to him about these things so its just confirmed my suspicions and now i feel even worse about bringing up any issues i have with him

i didnt tell him about the panic attack yet but i did say “well i mean im sure you can tell i was upset, since i sent you a long ass apology text an hour after the convo ended. and if it was the other way around and i knew you were upset about something i said i wouldve dropped everything and called you right away to fix the issue” and he said.............. “well im not gonna prioritize you” like.... !!!!!!!!!!!!! ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! great! we already knew i was at the bottom of his priority list but at least now he basically admitted it :/ i was just like well ok

that is the end of part 1 bc im splitting up this post lol

#personal

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dare-i-say-asexual · 7 years

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(Vent Anon from earlier sorry this is so late!) OK so I'm honestly kinda pissed at the dads game because of everything with Joseph. My best friend is a very religious gay man and he's been excited for MONTHS about this game and he really loves Joseph. When the game came out he bought it immediately and played straight through Joseph's route and honestly I was so fucking happy for him cause he's always wanted to be a youth minister with a loving husband and so Joseph's route was his everything

(2)At first it seemed so kind and good, but then the ending was horrible???? Like you basically become Joseph’s secret side hoe so he can be a good hetero role model for the church???? Which is super fucked up already because of obvious reasons, and my friend was devastated by it. I felt really bad because the next day he made this really long vent post about how he hated his life and wanted just one kind thing and always wanted to live a simple life with the church and just be an openly gay man

(3)and help kids struggling through rough times find jesus. I tried talking to him about all of it, but he’s very closed off about his feelings and didn’t want to talk about it. He told me though that he keeps replaying the beginning of Joseph’s route because he still loves him which worries me. That was before everyone starting talking about the cult ending and I started looking to see if maybe there was a different ending for Joseph that I could tell him about to cheer him up

(4) I found out about the cult ending and told my other friend he’s close with and now we’re just trying to keep him from finding out about it because the actual ending hurt him so bad so we’re afraid of what the cult ending is going to do to him since it’s so unbelievably fucked up. Like I’m so afraid of what’s going to happen when he finds out that Joseph’s a demon cult leader who ruins all the dad’s relationships

(5)The worst part is though I know we cant keep it from him forever and part of me wants to tell him myself just because I worry he’s going to find out in the worst way possible (like explicit jokes/fanart/cosplay of evil joseph doing fucked up things to the other dads which btw.. im so looking forward to when all the nasty people start that :)) /s) I just don’t know how to tell him that hey I know you still care about Joseph and hoped maybe for a better ending but apparently its a lot worse

(6)I’m so sorry this is so long and a lot I just needed to get it out and I don’t know what to tell him or how to tell him because that’s really going to hurt him more than anything and he’s going through so many bad things already so to completely take away the one good thing makes me feel horrible. Thank you so much for letting me send all this I’m just really upset and angry and at this point I really hate the game for being such a disappointment

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Yeah I definitely agree. It’s a disappointing route and I wish they explored his sexuality regarding his religion considering that most sga/gay men struggle with keeping a good contact with their religion.

I think you should tell him that the cult ending doesn’t actually exist within the game anymore, and I don’t know what to tell you other than that. Joseph’s character should have been played out more and maybe shouldn’t have played religious men to be “secret cheaters” to save face towards their church/practice. It’s very tiring, as someone who lost faith years ago due to my gay attraction. I definitely wish I had secure faith, but as with most sga people and lgbt people, religion can be tricky.

#mod w #answered #long post #gg mention

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