#this is a v fun topic for me and i like doing analysis

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

Hello again 👋

I am... not sure if a mass exodus to Tumblr is happening? Or if any of my mutuals from years ago are still active? 😅

If anyone cares and/or if I ever, like, relaunch this acct, lil fandom update &... context statement I guess! 

It’s getting long so I’ll hide it behind a “Read More”. But if you’re hemming and hawing over a follow or have a weird “you shipped that??” moment then feel free to take a look!

(And welcome to my page 🎉)

Past: FMA & Brotherhood

I stand by my older writing, at least to the extent you can see your old stuff without cringing too hard ahaha.

That said, I wouldn’t say I currently ship this pairing. Their fanon interpretation is in my memories fondly, especially from certain authors, but I’ll be honest, the ship did not occur to me while I was watching the show itself. I think part of the beauty of fandom is that transformative aspect, and I did appreciate experiencing the anime and manga in a new way through fanfiction.

I never set out to ship somewhat “problematically”, stumbling into it as FMA’s most popular Ao3 ship at the time. For my own writing, I consistently made it clear that Ed was an adult (like, at least 20), maybe Roy younger if an AU, and adjusted things like employment context to minimize power imbalances, because that was important to me.

Can people ship them in different ways, incl. age gap, boss/employee, etc.? Sure! I’m not out here to judge and don’t really want to touch that, tbh. It’s important to me that we can all create fandom in the ways that are meaningful to us, tag, curate our own experiences, and mute or click away as preferred, but I’m also too sensitive to dive properly into Discourse around these things (I mean, I’m out here creating soft bantery fluff hahaha) so that mismatch was a bit of a deterrent. Nuance is difficult online, and often in short supply.

Leaving was a weird combo of fandom getting quieter, inspo leaving me, and I guess life stuff. Tl;dr I’m pretty “ship and let ship” and against harassing any creators, but my own take was gentle and if it makes anyone comfier, I did want to add that context!

Little did I know that I would later stumble into a whole different arena of “don’t call me short, bastard!” exchanges.

Past: Carry On

My time in this fandom was fun! Ngl, there was no issue or major reason for leaving; I simply read the second and third books, once the third was out, and lost inspiration. 😅 What can you do?

CQL/MDZS, HQ

These fandoms are still dear to me, but I didn’t end up creating content for them for a couple of reasons. Perhaps someday if it makes sense!

Bungou Stray Dogs

It’s been... idk, eight months of BSD obsession? Six months writing it on Ao3 (Colourful_skies), in any case! If I do move back to Tumblr, I’m sure you’ll hear more. As of now, I’ve published ~65k in that time, which is... hard to compare, I suppose, but a high rate for me personally! I don’t know if that will continue, but at this point, I hope so. More recently I’ve attempted a bit more engagement w others, which has been fun.

In short, Soukoku and especially Chuuya have my heart, and I also really appreciate Sigma. I tend to write soft skk, fluff, and introspective fics, but mentioning that simply for context; I prefer to follow wherever inspiration leads me. Analysis is also v fun, including drawing connections with BSD authors’ works and making non-BSD poems or songs about skk/Chuuya, but idk if I would post about these topics here.

Moving forward, I hope to continue to work on my craft and brainrot over BSD & fandom with other lovely people, until my inspiration or mental wellness (?) lead me elsewhere.

Thanks for visiting my page! 🌻

#writer statement #greetings #tag in case of muting #royed #safe royed #fandoms summary #sorry I'm v rusty on tumblr tagging #new fandom

[veronika-tserber]

Hello again, Veronika! I’m glad you’re fine. I’ve been in a weird mood lately so I checked the Mars’s position this morning and realized that it’s in my 8th house and I didn’t even notice the opposition by Pluto until you said it. This makes so much sense now, and I feel you.

I love the name Raven, too. I don’t know why but I especially like the names with the letters “v” an “n” although my real name doesn’t have either of them. Your name also contains them and it’s one of my favorites for sure.

I should move onto the topic, I’m here to give feedback on my progressed Sun degree analysis. 7 degree Libra explanation really resonates with me. I’m a very anxious person and I have been having a hard time with managing my responsibilities about school. I also have a family situation right now and it has been affecting me too. I hope 8 degree Libra energy means I will be able to sort the family situation out and doesn’t mean more loneliness for me. Either way, I guess I’ll try to learn the lessons that life gives me.

Also, Judgement has been a primary theme of my life for a long time. As I mentioned, I’m anxious because I’m too critical of myself, I fear the judgement of other people. You’ve been on the point with strict parent prediction too. One of my parents is indeed a bit restrictive and I want to make some changes in my life which they do not approve of. I keep delaying to make this changes because I’m anxious about their reaction. So, this transient period may be the period in which I finally make these changes and moving from being judge mental about myself on others to having more integrity.

So, the analysis really resonated me and it has been fun to read, I’ve read it a few times even. I love how you added explanatory quotes, it helped me understand and relate more.

I have a question before I end, I’ve read that it takes approximately one year for Sun to move one degree in progressed chart, is this true?

Thank you for your time, detailed analysis and beautiful post. Take care.

Hey, Raven!

To answer your question - yes, it's true, given that the progressed chart is based on the symbolic progression of time rather than the Sun's literal movement.

Love the way you're reflecting on your reading! I have faith that you will make the right choice for you! Blessings! 👼🏻👼🏻👼🏻

[oh-katsuki]

omg callie pie i forgot that i initially followed you because of your armin fics jhskgkdfb i used to be so rabid over him and this might just get me to return to my armin brainrot phase hjsvdjfbfdb i came for armin but stayed for you <33

also ilysm and your brain and how well you articulate your thoughts on character/story analysis and even on unrelated to fiction topics sjnhkjdsfkj reading the stuff you post makes me lose my mind sometimes /pos like fr you’re the person that motivated me to start working on my articulation instead of just being like blah im bad at words like how i usually was before hfsjdhsk and you motivate me to start thinking more deeply about characters and analysing them and the source material, it’s like you motivated me to start using my brain more and start actually having fun with it :) you also make me want to become a sweeter person and spread love and positivity because of how lovely you are jbdsjb like really, just reading your posts feels like a warm hug <333 i hope you get a lovely and warm hug real soon from someone you care about <33

i’m also very amazed at you and when i think about all the hard work you put to grow into the wonderful and talented person you are today <33 and i’m looking forward to seeing you shine brighter than you already do with more years to come staying by your side and cheering you on <33 (man i remember when i used to be v active on tumblr months ago and used to check on ur blog like it was the morning newspaper and sending you nice things in ur inbox every other day jdvjdhfbh)

have a great day/night lovely and remember to stay hydrated!! <333

this is genuinely such a kind message i am blushing and rolling around on the ground and shit. you are so sweet and so kind for sending this to me <3 im so flattered that you've followed my blog for so long (armin has been off to war for a while in my brain now) it rly warms my heart to no end. it's a little silly to me that you find my articulation inspiring purely bc most of the time i view myself as an animal crossing creature speaking in their language and everyone just nods and smiles bc ive got the spirit 😭

anyway ur so kind and im so happy ur still here and i hope u continue to find me amusing and my blog fun <3 i hope you're having a wonderful day / night too!!!

#[ 🏩 – chatting ] #holds this message really close to my chest #this is so kind #absolute favs #thank you for sending it <3

[tolbachik]

Hi again! How’s it going? Thank you for your kind words, I’ll be sure to give myself a break if I need it ^^

Once I finish my Latin education, I might want to go on to study ancient Greek. The language has always fascinated me, though I’ve always procrastinated on learning it. I’ve also considered making videos analyzing Roman graffiti, but I’d have to get over my camera shyness first haha. People tend to focus on the funnier graffiti, which is understandable, but I think other kinds of graffiti deserve love too :]

Are there any thing you plan on learning, or that you’d like learn if you had the means? It could be anything, a craft, a language, an instrument :D

Clemens!! I always liked Clemens, I remember being so happy when he was able to escape Pompeii, but was kinda disappointed that he only showed up for one chapter in book two :[ I remember not paying much attention to Quintus in the first book, but I really came around to him in the next two books :]

I always loved Uranus, I felt like it was such an under-appreciated planet. I remember just thinking that it looked really cool as a kid haha. I also was always interested in Neptune, partially because of its elusiveness.

In your last response you brought up being interested in space travel as well. Do you have any favorite space missions? :]

Also don’t worry about getting to my recommendations right away! I have to be in a music listening mood to appreciate an album, so I totally relate to that feeling of being in a musical rut!

Also, that video of Norma Tanega is so cute! I love when you can tell that a musician truly loves what they’re doing! I’ll have to check out the redr of her other music sometime :D

I like to write about historical topics and media analysis. I especially like to connect modern media back to ancient myths, and sorta analyze why these kinds of narratives are so appealing to people. I also like to write about misconceptions we have about the ancient world, specifically Greece and Rome, since those are what I’m most familiar with. Though looking into disproving these myths is fun in itself, I also like to try and find how the myth formed and why it was perpetuated! I just think it’s so interesting how you can tell a lot about a culture based on what stories they tell :] Sorry that this was kinda long winded, I got a little carried away haha ^^’

Also, I definitely understand having a hard time sharing writing. I always get a bit bashful when showing people my art or writing, even online. It feels very vulnerable to put your work out there, so I totally get it. Once you start looking for beta readers, I’d love to volunteer! Admittedly, I’m a bit of a slow reader, so I might not be the best at beta reading, but I’d love to give it a shot! :D

I’m glad you were able to tackle that problem! I love ruminating on things in my mind as well. There's something so satisfying about figuring out the solution to a problem after thinking about it in the shower haha

I know you’re a writer, but do you like to read as well? If so, do you have any favorite books? :D

I’m so happy these asks make your day! I always look forward to reading your responses and writing the next one. SRS came up during a kinda tumultuous time for me, and it has really helped to keep me grounded and gave me something to anticipate every day. Your responses mean a lot to me, and I always love to hear what you have to say! I hope you have a good day/night! :]

- 🎲

Hello again! So sorry for the delay; yesterday was fairly busy for me, so I didn't really get a chance to reply! Thank you for your patience, I really appreciate it.

Oh wow, that sounds like a lot of fun! If you decide to go through with it, I hope you enjoy it a lot! Now, I forget; did they have a Cambridge Greek course as well, or just Latin? And that's totally fair; with Latin alone I'm sure you had a lot on your plate, so take the time you need before you move on to Greek! If you do ever make videos, I'd love to watch them. I know very little about Roman graffiti, so it'd be fun to learn more! Any examples you'd like to share?

Hmm, well, I would really like to learn how to read sheet music and play piano if I ever got the energy or time. I know a tiny bit, and how to play a few parts of a few songs, but nothing major beyond that, really! What about you? Aside from languages, what other stuff do you want to try to learn in life?

Right? He definitely deserved more attention, I think! I forget quite a bit, but I think Quintus did some pretty good stuff towards the end of it all, right? I'm so glad people are still reading those books, they're such a good way to introduce people to the language, I think!

The ice giants are both great; I truly hope we can get something out there again soon! From what I understand, China is potentially going to have a small probe perform a flyby of Uranus in the 2040s, but I don't know if they'll go through with it or not. No clue if we'll ever get anything for Neptune, but here's to hoping! 😭 I'd have to say Skylab! Not for anything special it did, but I feel like it was one of the last things that encompassed the dreams of the 60s and 70s, y'know? Of a future with civilians living and working in space, but obviously things didn't turn out that way lol Aside from that, I think the Soviet Zond 5 was interesting scientifically, since it was the first mission to carry life to the Moon! It was two turtles, a few fruit fly eggs, and some seeds. They all survived too, thankfully! A little starved, but they made it! Ah, quite the opposite! Talking to you has gotten me back into listening to music again, and I've enjoyed it all so far! Thank you so much, I really do mean it. Sometimes I just get tired of listening to music, but having new stuff is a great help! And I hope you enjoy the rest of Norma Tanega's stuff; she's very nice to listen to, and had a great personality from what it seems. Please, talk about your interests as much as you want! I love seeing people be so passionate about things, it really warms my heart. I'd love to hear of some misconceptions people have; I'm sure I've fallen for a few, as well! On top of that, what's your favorite myth you've encountered so far? I love talking about ancient civilizations as well, although I've read more about Pre-Columbian civilizations more than I have others!

It's hard sharing anything you yourself make, isn't it? It's such a vulnerable thing to do, to have complete strangers or even friends see the things you've made. I'm sure it gets easier with time, but I'm sure there'll always be that little bit of shyness, no matter what. I'd love to see what sort of things you've made, if you ever feel like sharing! And there's no rush at all; it's a lot to read, so there's no pressure at all. I'm just thankful that you're willing, it means a lot to me! Thank you! I think the best/worst part is when it's late at night or early in the morning, and it just suddenly hits you; you have to write it down or else you'll forget and fall back asleep! It's happened to me more than I can count lol That's a good question! I like some older scifi authors like Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke, and Douglas Adams, but I also like some nonfiction writers like Marshall T. Savage (his "The Millennial Project" was a huge inspiration for me growing up!), Michael Pollan, and Charles C. Mann are all great too. What about you? Aww, same here! And I'm so sorry things have been rough for you lately; I hope they settle down for you, and that you can enter a calm and happy era of your life once more. I know you're on anon and we still don't know each other all too well, but if you ever need anything, let me know! Please take care, and have a great rest of your day! Talk to you again soon!

#my posts #asks #srs23 #cube #🎲

[equalseleventhirds]

re: the disney thing, if you ever have time & energy & are so inclined, would be very interested to read!

i mean mostly i was just gonna watch each of the films (snow white, cinderella, and sleeping beauty, these being the films actually based on fairy tales & made during walt disney’s lifetime) and compare them to the original stories (or like, the ones most similar to them/that they were most likely based on. iirc, two grimms tales and a perrault? or the other way around? i’d have to check) and play spot-the-difference

i have some rly basic knowledge of walt disney’s personal life and politics that i was gonna tie in there, but tbh i haven’t rly started hardcore research into that yet and probably won’t bcos that’s way too much for a relatively small project

i mean i might do all three movies for funsies over the summer if ur rly interested, but i don’t have like, special expert knowledge or anything, i was just gonna make lists, you could probably do that urself if ur so inclined, my take on it is not Special

#we're supposed to have discussion questions so i was gonna be like 'do you see these changes repeated in later movies' wrt the template thin #listen i'm a big nerd but if i can do things by making my classmates ask questions i WILL #legit most of the others were assigned fairy tales from a specific culture #and they just read the stories to the class and asked questions abt the motifs #i wasn't gonna do like........ a lot of effort #bcos while i do find the history fascinating i am BY NO MEANS an expert on disney #and becoming one for a class project is not on my list of things to do #i am learning to underachieve #....what was my point #ah yes #this is a v fun topic for me and i like doing analysis #but like... there are MUCH better sources than me out there #pls do not come to me as any sort of authority #Anonymous

[artist-ellen]

Jasmine Take 2 the Iconic Princess Outfit

One of the really fun things about Mughal fashion is that pants are everywhere and I appreciate it so much (there's a lot of pants in Ottoman fashion as well... either style would have been so much better than what we got in the live action....).

I mean this drawing... this can't even compare to what this could look like in real life. To really truly capture the beauty of the fabric, patterns & jewelry.... can you imagine if the 2019 costumes were good? SHE STILL COULD HAVE WORN PANTS.... and there could have been beautiful beadwork & embroidery & jewelry.. WHO THOUGHT THE TINY TIN-HEART JEWELRY WAS A GOOD IDEA 😤... off topic.... again. Doing all the research, looking at all the incredible references & fabrics really piled on to all the things I already was so disappointed with in the costumes for the 2019 movie. Using "South Asian" colors on a European dress silhouette + corseting with secret pants isn’t doing it for me. I am so sorry these all dissolve into rage... it just hurts.

Also in the time since me posting these redesigns (the first attempt) Youtuber cherry bepsi created the video: "let's revisit the fashion in the aladdin remake | fashion analysis" and it is both super informative and super entertaining. So if you want a fun version of research I did for this project/more roasting I definitely recommend this video and their channel in general bc the content is fantastic. And their roasts of the live action costume design...perfection.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6_b3QlTlVI&t=361s

Anyway one more outfit to go!

I am the artist!!! Don’t repost without permission & credit! Thank you! Come visit me over on: Instagram , Patreon

#jasmine #aladdin 2019 #aladdin #the great heroine redesign #the great disney redesign #redesigning disney #historically inspired #historic fashions #ellenart #lnart #digital illustration

[safertokiss]

Through a Different Lens

A/N: Well, well, well. Lookie what we have here. New content wowza. I’d say I’m surprised it’s been a while, but I simply am not. Luckily another fic swap has arrived to get my creative juices flowing once again. The gods have gifted me with another perfect opportunity to write sub spence because I was given @writing-in-april as my person yet again. Hooray! Anyways I hope you enjoy and thanks all you cool cats and kittens for the support (we almost to 1000 yeet skrrt). Also, it just happens to be my birthday today so as a gift to myself I thought about subby Spencer for a while.

Pairing: SPENCER x READER

Category: SMUT and can’t forget that fluff

Word Count: 3.2k

ENJOY:)

~~~

It all started completely by accident.

There was no possible way that she would’ve been able to predict just how much they would affect the poor kid. 

She could remember, clear as day, the first time she was forced to wear her glasses to the bureau due to her ongoing frustrations with the torture devices that were also referred to as contacts. There were only so many headaches and eye-waterings that she could take before the insecurity of wearing her frames to work shriveled below the point of caring anymore. 

But none of those previous insecurities held a flame to the amount of confusion she felt when she entered the bullpen and waltzed over to Spencer’s desk to say good morning with a shy smile adorning her face. Y/n hadn’t even been able to get a complete sentence out before the young doctor had turned to her and froze, his mouth hanging open like a fish, his eyes widening to the size of dinner plates, the harsh red blush she had seen before, just maybe not to this extent, engulfing his boyish features. 

Before she could even attempt to ask him what she had done to warrant such a response, he was spouting out a meager, “H-hey Y/n” whilst simultaneously scurrying off in the direction of the nearest bathroom.

Completely and utterly perplexed over what had happened, she had shrugged it off and made her way back to her desk, silently mulling over the interaction periodically throughout the rest of the day. 

It was a couple of the same type of interactions later that Y/n began to take notice of what was actually happening with the boy genius. The stiff and unnatural posture. The stuttering, granted that wasn’t something new, just much more frequent and severe. The audible heartbeat always accompanied by rosy cheeks and goosebumps. 

Spencer Reid was fucking turned on by the glasses.

And he didn’t even try to hide it. Or maybe he did and was just really, really bad at doing so.

Either way, Y/n quickly discovered just how much fun it was getting these reactions to pour out of the kid...so of course she kept wearing the glasses even after she was able to wear contacts again. He didn’t need to know that. 

It was so fucking easy too. 

She would just be sitting at her desk, occupied by some particularly troubling pages of a case file that makes her have to readjust her frames out of stress, when she’d hear a high pitched squeak across the bullpen, followed by the pattering of frantic footsteps she had familiarized herself with in former few weeks. 

While she felt some kind of guilt for putting him through this, it was nowhere near enough to overtake the genuine excitement and gratification that came with knowing she could have such an effect on the adorable doctor.

Of course she found him attractive...how could she not with his perfectly sculpted cheekbones and nerdy slicked back hair. Ultimately Y/n could understand his apparent infatuation with her wearing glasses as she had caught herself, on more than a couple occasions, openly ogling his own specs. 

Maybe they were both weirdos...the whole situation was almost as strange as the Converse kink that she secretly harbored for years. Although her intuition was quick to suggest that, just maybe, both of her unique infatuations stemmed from the same noodle-shaped source.

Perhaps her favorite reaction of his, though, came about during the little office birthday party that the entire team had thrown for him.

He looked so adorable in the gigantic birthday cake hat they had bestowed upon him, Y/n could hardly contain her giggles at the giddy smile adorning his face. She watched on in amusement as Spencer tried desperately to get the candles on his cake to extinguish, to no avail, at least until someone felt bad watching his struggles and decided to give him a hand.

“They’re trick candles Spence, they’re gonna come back on every time.”, JJ chuckled, subtly smirking at Morgan who was also enjoying Spencer’s ongoing struggles. 

A couple “happy birthdays” later and the rest of the team slowly began to disperse, leaving just Y/n and him alone in their own little space. He must’ve noticed this too because the blush that had already been present throughout the celebration beforehand seemed to deepen even further as he visibly swallowed down his nerves.

Slowly stalking towards the rouge kissed boy, she dragged a couple of her fingers across the surface of the desk, noting the way his eyes briefly flicked down to follow the movement before hesitantly returning his gaze to match her own. 

She also noted the way his knuckles were basically turning white from the amount of pressure he was using to grab the sides of the chair.

“You have a good birthday, Spence?”, Y/n drawled with a teasing smile, now standing directly before the trembling young man.

Seeming to snap out of whatever sort of trance he had been in, he hastily cleared out his throat before responding with a bit of trepidation. “Hmm...yeah-yes uh yes it was v-very good, than-thank you.”

She couldn’t even attempt to conceal the smirk that had made its way to her lips listening to the genius stutter through his words. Such a nervous, nervous boy. So adorable. So fucking hot. 

“Well that makes me happy. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself pretty boy.”, she paused her thoughts soaking in the little hitches in his breath surely from how close she was standing near him and the added nickname. Deciding to play a little bit dirty, she leaned over directly into his line of sight to reach for the cake set before him.

 “Now how about I take this away and cut it up for all of us to eat? Hmmm?”

His eyes darted immediately to the cleavage that was so graciously presented to him as she bent over to pick up the dessert, a sharp little gasp escaping his pretty, pink lips as his pupils dilated carelessly. 

Y/n inwardly smirked at his reaction and began walking towards the kitchenette, but only made it about three or four steps before being interrupted. 

“Did you know that in some instances birthday candles are safe for wax play?”, he exclaimed before seemingly realizing what had just escaped his lips, his hands flying up to cover his traitorous mouth. 

Bewildered, in the best of ways, by what had just been said, she slowly swiveled back around, facing him once again, before placing the cake on the desk beside her. 

“What was that Spencer?”, she grinned at the petrified man who hadn’t made a single noise since his unexpected declaration. The poor thing looked like a caged in animal with nowhere to escape. Perfect.

“N-nothing! I m-mean obviously it was um s-something, but j-just uh just forget what I s-said.”, he quickly explained while frantically shaking his hands as if he was hoping he could simply wipe your memory of the last minute or two away permanently.

“No, no please go on.”, she teased. “Now I’m intrigued. What did you mean by ‘in some instances’ Spence?”

She wasn’t expecting the look of confusion, however brief it was, that peeked its way through the overwhelming embarrassment that had been showcased on his face, as if he truly couldn’t fathom that someone was actually asking him to go into more detail about a topic. 

Still didn’t change the fact that he was completely mortified.

Clearing his throat, he hesitantly lifted his gaze back to Y/n’s, seemingly debating with himself over whether he could articulate the words to come out or not. 

“Um...well..usually many p-people who choose to e-engage in such act-activities will use specific types of c-candles that are uh more designed especially for pl-play.”, he paused and she drank up the way his Adam's apple bobbed along his throat. “Uh… basically depending on the t-type of candle that one u-uses, the amount of pain or um d-discomfort differs. B-birthday candles tend to b-be on the more painful side so only the couples who are in-into that kind of thing would ever really utilize t-them.”, he finished abruptly, his leg bouncing rapidly in her line of vision.

She still couldn’t really believe she had actually gotten him to say anything at all, nevermind an in depth analysis on wax play. In a weird way she was proud of him. Really proud. Sometime amidst her thoughts, she’d found herself standing directly behind his sitting figure, her hands resting on either side of him against the table, the goosebumps visible on his skin from the implications of the position they were currently in.

“That’s really intriguing Spencer. I’d love to find out someday just why it is you know so much about the subject, but I don’t want to make you go into cardiac rest anytime soon.”, she remarked, giggling at the shy smile that made its way to his mouth.

She didn’t even register reaching out to lightly touch his lips until she heard his sharp intake of breath. Until he turned his head so they were mere centimeters apart. Until she watched his puppy eyes dart between her lips and your frame covered gaze. Until the space between them seemed to be lessening with every sec-

“Hey pretty boy! Where’s my cake?”

Y/n grudgingly pulled back at the interruption, watching in amusement as Spencer’s body instinctively leaned forward as if his lips hadn’t gotten the memo and were still searching for hers. “It’s coming right up you lazy ass!” she yelled back with a grin on her face.

She looked back to the boy sitting before her and was almost mesmerized by the dazed look present on his face, the blush slowly retreating as he came back to his surroundings. She could tell there were words that he wanted to say, but they just didn’t seem to be forming fast enough to actually come out. Deciding to put their little moment on hold before he passed out, she walked back over to the neglected dessert and started heading towards the break room again.

“I’ll make sure to save you the biggest piece, Spence.”,she threw over her shoulder, chuckling at the bewildered look still that was still present on his face.

~~~

The day was a big success in her opinion. 

Spencer looked even more like a child than usual with the big shit eating grin that remained throughout the celebration and the bulky hat that he refused to take off. She could never understand how someone could have such an affinity for sugar as she watched him devour the huge slice of cake she had carved up for him.

But hours later, it was just her and Spencer left in the building. 

And she was not about to let that go to waste.

Y/n could see him from where she stood at the entrance to the kitchenette. She could see the way he slouched over his desk with his legs curled underneath him, criss cross applesauce, as he scribbled down whatever case file he was working on. She admired his determined work ethic, that’s for sure.

But now was simply not the time to work.

Spencer immediately froze as soon as her body situated itself to be leaning against his desk, painfully aware of her gaze on his tense form. 

“H-hey Y/n.”, he nervously murmured, the stutter once again making her giddy.

“Hey yourself doc. Wanna tell me why it is you’re still here working at such a late hour? Doesn’t the elusive Spencer Reid have better things to be entertaining himself with?”, she drawled, her piercing gaze making the poor kid squirm before her eyes.

“Oh um no...n-not really. I actually don’t mind working late. It’s k-kind of therapeutic in a way. But um...I’m happy t-that you’re here w-with me.”, he whispered the last part as if he was scared you wouldn’t appreciate his gratitude.

But she appreciated it more than he knew.

Noticing the little pencil holder situated amongst the file stacks on his desk, an idea popped into her mind that she just couldn’t shake, prompting her to pick it up and begin fiddling with it.

“Oh is that so pretty boy? Does my presence satisfy you?” Before he could even attempt an answer she “accidently” dropped the holder on the ground, the array of pens and pencils dispersing among the floor. “Oops my bad.”

Spencer immediately scrambled out of his seat and onto the floor to start collecting the colorful writing utensils, the perfect distraction needed for Y/n to situate herself on his desk with her legs spread open directly in front of his face. 

“D-don’t worry abou-”, his sentence cut off as he looked up and was met with the tantalizing sight of her white lace panties already damp with her excitement. She swore he could die happy with the way his eyes widened and cheeks flushed. She couldn’t help but chuckle lightly.

“See something you like baby?” Unable to even form words, the young doctor slowly nodded his head, eyes still locked on the obvious wet spot between her open legs.

“C-can I..can I um…”

“Use your words baby boy. Can you what?”, she spoke clearly, grasping his chin so he’d look her in the eyes.

“C-can I taste you?” She couldn't get over the desperate way he spoke as if he’d die of thirst if he didn’t get a drink from her.

“Of course you can sweet b-” Not even letting the words leave her mouth, his hands were eagerly pulling her panties down and off her legs, his lips instantly connecting with the heated flesh at the apex of her thighs. She swore his tongue and lips were enchanted with the way he was able to effortlessly maneuver his way around, easily picking up on what she loved. 

“Oh Spencer you’re such a good boy.” she couldn’t resist  threading her fingers through his silky hair and tugging slightly, an action she assumed he enjoyed based on the muffled whine she heard from between her thighs. 

It hadn’t even been more than a few minutes before she found herself already on the verge of letting go. No guy had ever been able to make her feel this good and just electric until now. He was quickly ruining her for anyone else in the future. She did not mind in the slightest.

“Baby I really wanna feel you inside me. Is that something you want sweetheart?”

He reluctantly pulled back after a few more kitten licks to her clit, wide eyes finding hers and whimpering out a broken “yes”. More than happy with his response she gently pulled him up by his hair and started undoing his belt, his oversized pants easily falling down without the extra support. Just another thing about him that she had come to adore. She was very pleased by the obvious bulge that protruded through his baby blue checkered boxers. 

Before she pulled those down too, though, she very gently reached up and cupped his cheeks, guiding his plump lips to her own, basking in the delighted whimpers that escaped his mouth at the soft but passionate contact. She released his lips with a slight nip and proceeded with his clothing removal, coaxing him to sit down in the swirly chair he had been previously residing in, before straddling his lap. 

“You ready sweet boy?”, she asked leaning forward to kiss his rouge forehead and cheeks.

“Mhmm I’m r-ready.”

Taking that as the go ahead, she cautiously positioned herself over his throbbing erection before slowly lowering herself inch by inch until he was completely enveloped by her tight, warm walls. 

“Oh-ohh my.”, he whimpered at the overwhelming feeling of being connected so intimately. Gently, she started to move a bit more, hesitantly lifting up before lowering herself back down, flush against his lap, one of her soft hands anchoring herself to his shoulder while the other caressed his flushed cheeks.

“I know baby, I know. You feel so good baby boy I don’t think I’m going to be able to last much longer.”

“M-me neither.”, he stuttered as the pace she had previously set seemed to increase in speed, the excitement and ecstasy getting to the both of them and subconsciously pushing the two of them closer to their shared release. 

The fire was quickly building within her body and she knew she was truly crumbling at the seams, but with the way his body was trembling and his dick was subtly twitching inside of her she knew he was right there too.

“It’s ok baby boy, it’s ok. Cum for me sweet boy. I want you to cum inside and fill up my pussy Spence.”, she muttered feeling the beginning of her end crash unexpectedly throughout her entire being, grasping onto the boy underneath her to tie herself to the earth. 

Overwhelmed by the utter euphoria of Y/n cumming around him, Spencer let himself get thrown off the edge, his hands tightening on her waist hard enough she was sure little bruises would form come tomorrow, not that she minded at all.

“Oh Y/n!” She watched on, obsessed with the way that his mouth fell open in a little o-shape as his eyes squeezed shut, the tell tale signs of pleasure coursing through his veins, the warm feeling that he left deep inside of her as she gently lifted herself from his shaking legs, reaching for her panties before the warmth was able to escape down her damp thighs.

Looking back at the trembling boy after cleaning herself and him up, she couldn’t help but melt at the lovesick, puppy dog eyes he was giving her, prompting her to lean forward and leave more little kisses on the top of his damp hair.

“That was incredible Spence. Really incredible. I’ve never felt anything like that before baby.”

She melted even further at the way he shyly dropped his head to somewhat hide the wide grin that had spread like wildfire across his face. There was a comfortable silence between the two of them before his head lifted with a questioning glance.

“How’d you-I mean uh how did you know that I liked you?” There was no way she could control the giggles that left her lips at his silly question.

“You weren’t exactly subtle with the whole glasses thing Spence.”

And then the only sound heard throughout the building was her full blown laughter at the mortification that speedily adorned his cherry cheeks.

Tag List: @hopebaker @pastathighs @psychedellic-phase @gloryekaterina @sleepysnapesnake @racharr @etherealgubler @furiouspartyrebelhoagie @andiebeaword @liaabsurd @cielo1984 @starkeybaby @victomizedbyreginageorge @rainsong01 @moonlight-jukebox @gretaamyk @httpnxtt @rachelxwayne @watermelonstyl @goldnratio @cheyxminds @kricketc29 @cupcake525 @pinkdiamond1016 @slutforthegubes @shadyladyperfection @emilysallysmith @babblingbrookex @legendaryanimeaestheticclou @sunstspidey @ashwarren32 @pixels-impulse @eviewildflower @spencerreider @awkwardsadaa @dirty-pan-goblin @ughgoaway @cromies90-blog @mightaswell247 @calm-and-doctor @golden-hoax @1mpvls3 @lonewolf471 @centiaaa @spencerspecifics

#criminal minds #cm #spencer reid #spencerreid #mgg #matthew gray gubler #dr reid #drreid #cm fic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer x reader #cm smut #spencer reid smut #smut #fluff #fluffy smut #safertokiss #glasses #GLASSES KINK #Happy Birthday

[daydadahlias]

this is obviously just how I interpret your chart, which you said was okay to do so I hope you don't mind?

I tend to avoid stereotypical ideas of the zodiacs just because I feel it's reductive a bit so this is just my perspective.

so your sun sign is who your idealistic self is, who you want to be, and your rising is how other people perceive you! yours are the same which means there isn't conflict in the aspect of finding the harmony in who you are, how others see you, and who you want to be.

I actually would say Libras aren't indesivicve, they actually want many things, and tend to be good at choosing, it's a matter of finding a balance? and Instead of sexual, I'd say just compelling!! Libras in my opinion tend to be friendly and charming. when they care about a topic they talk endlessly about it!! would say very persuasive, and hate not knowing. Libras are thw mutable air sign, so your one of the leaders or you're willing to be the one to take the first step towards doing something.

so moon sign is who you are emotionally!! you're someone who probably thinks a lot and is curious and fascinated with most things? assertive in who you are, and leaning towards being independent, especially since you'd be considered more on the unconventional side? you aren't willing to go with the flow if it's about something you don't like. and once you care about someone who you are care deeply, because attachment are hard to come by but when they do they are v strong.

Libra mercury means you're chatty when you like someone, not willing to compromise your beliefs but cooperative nonetheless, and you hate being thrown off balance. you hope you're able to leave a positive impact on others. great at articulating yourself.

Venus (responsible for indicating affectionate and relationships) Scorpio isn't the easiest placements, becuase you experience feelings such as affectionate and hate very intensely, but you're enchanting!! Scorpios are the type of signs that draw people because of much enthusiasm they have, and just being very charismatic. you prefer relationships (platonic or other wise in nature) to be meaningful and not surface level.

mars (the ambition and drive) virgo means you're very driven, and when it comes to work and ethics you're detail oriented, and you prefer in the long run more low-key life.

those are the basics!! hope you don't hate these too much? 💞

warning: jess self-analyzing and jessay-ing ahead

damn u actually wrote me a,,, psycho-analysis. first off, thank you??? thank u a lot actually. this is one of those moments where im like: damn how did u,, take the time out of ur day to actively spend time thinking abt MY birth chart and actively trying to say things about ME like i matter or deserve the effort. it's v nice, i appreciate it. Anyway, time to tell you if you're wrong or not!!

i read this last night at like,,, 1 am i think when you sent it. and i havent had time to get to it until now almost a full 24 hours later. sorry it took so long! busy day.

I don't personally think I change myself based on the people I'm around,, as in, like, I don't think I'm a two-faced person, or at least I don't try to be. I'm very upfront with my feelings and i dont dodge suspects and i dont put on masks. I do tend to go into "performer mode" depending on the situation but i never consider that... a false reality of who i am. So I think that's right on.

fun fact abt the leader thing - bc i think it's funny - once, I was at a park with my two closest friends and this little boy (like, 8 yo i think) started joking around with us and at some point looked at me and asked, "So, are you. like, the leader??" and my friends agreed in unison "yes" and I got a good laugh out of it. Also, molly (and others) kept saying last year I was full-on capable of running a cult (bottom!ash was the topic of interest) and I don't think they were wrong. But I don't personally like leading very much. I'm just so,, loud and assertive that I tend to be a bit too easy to follow.

I definitely don't lean towards independent tho, as much as some people think I do. If my roommate didn't remind me to do it, I wouldn't feed myself. I'm a bit of a messy horrible fuck, really.

And I'm definitely unconventional lmfao. I had a friend ask me the other day how my roommate handles my "jessisms." that's what my friends call them (I'm not even kidding) bc i am a very Specific Person. I'm hard to deal with, I know that. I try not to be!! But not much I can do abt it considering that's... how i am. And, as you've stated - and as everyone... has probably seen - I definitely don't willingly go along with something I don't like. I think someone called me out on it recently. That they wanted to like, pet my hair and calm me down bc I'm so mad all the time. which isn't true!! I'm not mad. I just feel,, very very deeply abt everything. and i get upset when i dont feel like anyone's listening.

"and once you care about someone, you care deeply, because attachments are hard to come by but when they do they are v strong." lmfao u wanna make me cry in the laundry room or smthn?? bro I'm trying to clean here. I'm An Aggressively Passionate Friend. And that scares people. don't i have a fucking line in a fic abt that or smthn ?? hold on. I DO!!! "And because he’s scared of letting go, he holds too tight and things squeeze right between his fingers" which is from Fine Print. Fun fact: this is actually a self @. My thing is tho, for someone like me, y'know, i have some pretty serious abandonment issues from my ~past~ and also I am unable to love someone romantically so the only true relationships i can have are platonic ones. and since my love doesn't go into romance, i concentrate all of it onto my friendships. and since i lose friends so much, i squeeze very very hard on ppl i do have at the current time. and then i choke them out like a boa constrictor accidentally. which is sad!! and i wish i didn't do that. but i think I've said before that, like, i dont feel as though people will ever be able to love me the way i love them or to the extent i love them. which, like, is very melodramatic and i know that. but it is how i feel and i cant help it so much. but also, it's not like i really let people love me back. i think bc I'm scared of loving them too much and then them leaving which seems to be a pretty common experience in my life (but also it's a common experience in everyone's y'know!! existence is an ever moving cycle and what not and people cycle in and then they let u love them and then they leave and that's life). hence why i prefer a nice little "thank you" to "I love yous" rather than returned affection. bc affection stresses me out bc i go "woah, if u give me this now, what's to stop you from making me believe you'll keep giving it in the future and then one day you'll end up leaving and taking it with you." i think life would be easiest if i gave out love and people took it and that was that. all of this sounds very dramatic lmfao, sorry.

jesus christ i am SO chatty. it's one of my jessisms. i must be talking all the time or I'll die. I'd say this paragraph is abt dead on. i would like to leave a positive impact on others. i personally would hope everyone would, y'know?? what r u doing on earth if not... helping? or creating joy in some facet. dude, i lie awake at night sometimes terrified that I've treated people the way they've treated me. i know i have surely fucked people up. I'm sure I've hurt people and i hate i have. i wish that i had better control of my impact but i know realistically no one does. u can control only yourself and the way that people react to you isn't really... ur fault. ur only a small part of your legacy after all. what's the hamilton lyric abt stories. "u have no control who lives who dies who tells your story" yeah that.

"you experience emotions such as hate and affection very intensely" bro i am a firecracker. I'm such a fucking,, up and down rollercoaster type of bitch. how can one feel so much all the time?? it baffles me, truly. and how people put up with it even a little baffles me even more. and i do prefer meaningful relationships. i would like to have people in my life that matter to me and that i matter to. i think a lot of my mindset hovers on, like, i wish that i meant half as much to people as they mean to me and whatnot. all that dramatic shit again yeah.

and the last paragraph I'd say is abt spot on!!

i don't hate any of them <3

thank you for taking time out of ur life to write all this up for me. it really means a lot. it's a bit jarring actually lmfao that u took the time out to do this and i might !! cry abt it !! bc I'm fun like that and it's 11 pm and my laundry isn't done.

#pigeon #me getting emo abt MYSELF on main?? could it be!! #i cant believe this!! #thank u #thank u thank u #got a lil emotional abt this eh #for no reason but ah #such is the Jess Way (trademark)

[dissonantdreamer]

What are your thoughts on the non sexualization on Dina and Ellie? We see them in their undies but then again Dina has firm muscle and you can see body hair. We never see anything really explicit on them (besides that one small Ellie scene) and I dig it. Compared to Abby where we actually see what goes on between her and Owen. We see her naked and Owen obviously participating in an intimate act. What do you think it says on how ND is treating both of them?

I’d love to know your thoughts!

As far as people asking me to do analysis goes I usually have to want to talk about the moment(s) (or piece of clothing) some asks are already things I’ve thought about. I’m not an authority on anything I explore by any means, but when I’m asked I try to give an honest response to the best of my ability. This topic alone has no right answer. These are just my thoughts after sitting with this ask for a week. I’m sure if you asked in a few months time I might have changed my views a little.

This was the first ask where I hadn’t given the topic much thought, and now that I’ve given it thought, it’s divided and multiplied into many thoughts that I have tried to make as clear as possible and still worry I have not done enough justice with. Which is why this answer took forever for me to think about so thanks for your patience, anon. Hope it’s kinda what you asked for still.

This being said, what I’m talking about is strictly related to the game, not shipping, not reality, the game. I’ve done my damndest to keep this a respectful exploration of two emotionally sensitive moments between adult characters and ask that if you’re going to interact with this post please do the same. If this is the kinda thing that makes you uncomfortable use your judgment. You’re probably not missing out on much.

I'm going to take a moment to define what I mean when I say sexualized v sexual.

Sexualized: individuals are regarded as sex objects and evaluated in terms of their physical characteristics and sexiness

Sexual: relating to the instincts, physiological processes, and activities connected with physical attraction or intimate physical contact between individuals

I will take a second moment to also say the sex means different things to different people and that definition can and probably will change over time for each individual. Sex and love are complicated some people separate sex from emotion to process and that is perfectly okay to. As long as you’re communicating with your partner(s) there is no right or wrong way to feel.

That all being said:

I’m absolutely stoked that Ellie and Dina aren’t sexualized, but beyond that I’m stoked that the world itself is grounded and developed a bit past where we are now in terms of sexualization, and while there are some remnants of our horrid society, (lookin’ at you Seth, David) the kids are growing up in a world where survival supersedes sexualization. That goes beyond the nonsexulazation of Dina and Ellie. Clearly sexuality exists and it’s fluid, but they aren’t growing up with the expectations that we have in place now. They have to grow up fast for an entirely different reason. 

This whole game shuns the standards that we have set today and says “yeah no, the thing we did before was dumb. You’re a dude who loves to teach? Dope you go teach the kids to read and count. You’re a bad bitch who can rip a clicker’s head from it’s body like a teddy bear, dope, go be on patrol.”  Maria runs Jackson, the patrol charts are filled with a clearly diverse group of men and women, the WLF has men and women working together to do laundry, cook, fight on the front lines. There was even a cut scene where Dina and Ellie are in the weed den making fun of the sexualization of women that is prevalent in our society via the porn Eugene has which would show further that the world they grew up in is so drastically different from our own.

In this world you bring value through skills, not looks. Everyone is good at something.

Now when it comes to “treating the characters” this part has far more to do with the story and less the world itself. Neil has said in many different ways that what is kept in is to help along Ellie and Abby’s journeys. We are shown what we need to be shown, to clue us into where these two women are in their journey. The point is that their stories are reflective of one another: Abby’s is one of redemption Ellie’s, of self destruction. We see Abby at her rock bottom in the beginning and her scene with Owen is the culmination of pushing everyone away in pursuit of revenge.

Now for this part I’m going to lead with Abby’s scene. Because I’m sure 92.613% of people who read this have watched the weed den scene more than the boat scene.

Abby grew up with Owen, he was there when her father died, he helped her through a lot. He’s an all right guy, not a paragon of healthy relationship material, but he loves her and there is comfort in staying with someone who has made you feel safe through the hardest parts of your life. Over her gameplay we get the sense Owen isn’t what she needs anymore and by staying with him she’s holding herself back.

This moment in the boat with Owen, narrative wise is Abby realizing she has hit bottom, Joel didn’t make her feel better, her relationship with Owen had ended because of her pursuit of Joel. She’s been stuck on the idea that she can go back to who she was before that final moment with Joel. In her dreams, her dad is still dead. Joel is dead, maybe she can try again to be that Abby again but she can’t shes not there emotionally anymore.

Owen coldly goads her into anger to feel something because Abby is putting distance between herself and him.  He bitterly quotes what she told him when she was seeking out Joel. She thinks of Mel, asks him what his plans are for the woman carrying his child, he wants to leave her, because he hasn’t let go of Abby. Owen is drunk, he should not be having sex. He can’t consent. The argument reaches a boiling point and they both fall back on the unhealthy idea that maybe one more go will solve something.

One thing that struck me as interesting was how the two scenes are presented, Abby and Owen face away from each other. Owen can barely keep his eyes open and the way the scene is shot, he is barely in focus. On the other side of the coin, Dina and Ellie face each other with a willing openness, they check in with each other constantly, and the build up to the moment is filmed so both women are in focus and on level ground with each other.

Abby and Owen had sex, but it never struck me as sexual nor did it strike me as sexualized much like Ellie and Dina.. Yes the act begins on screen, few people I’ve talked to saw what was on screen as anything other than uncomfortable.

To empathize with Abby we see her face in that moment of vulnerability, where she should be happy, there is a subtle expression that Laura pulls that *chefs kiss* shows in one second that Abby is not present in the act. There is a double blink followed by this look of internal clarity, that whatever she feels in that moment, it’s not what or who she is anymore and shes committed to letting it go. 

She falls asleep but now that nightmare is about those damn kids. Sleeping with Owen is not going to make this go away. The next morning she pushes him away farther because he wants it to continue and she had her moment of this is not who I am.

Even though we cut before the act, to me what Dina and Ellie do is far more sexual than what Owen and Abby go through, not sexualized, sexual. I say this because their behavior is not for us, it is between them and because this is a video game, we are along for the build up. How they act in the scene? That’s healthy representation with someone you trust when things are new. The air is charged between them, they’re flirty and they’re constantly using body language to check in with each other.The clearly want each other but we don’t need to see them get it on, this is their first time, we don’t need to see that, we can already see how much they already love and care for each other in the way they act. Let that moment be special and private.

Halley and Neil talk in interviews about narrative, seeing these two hit their “bottom” so we need to see Abby with Owen so we can see how far she’s grown by the end, this is a desperate grasp at the past the ends in a goodbye. We don’t need to see the act of Ellie and Dina we know it's passionate based on their actions, we don't need to see what they do. That's their hello. We see how close they are so we see what Ellie leaves behind it’s a representation of what she will ultimately give up and lose to keep her humanity.

I don’t think showing Abby and Owen together treats her as any less compared to not showing Ellie and Dina. Because of Abby’s scene we see what Owen meant to her, what she lost. Finding him and Mel becomes her Joel on the porch scene she can’t fix anything, she can’t fall back on him anymore. Abby has to move forward, she has to move forward because she has to be good for this kid she’s taking under her watch, he is her people and she has to be better for herself to do that.  If it wasn’t for Lev, she would have killed Dina, Ellie, and all the growth she made.

With Ellie because of her scene with Dina, to her character, we see the love she is leaving behind, that what she has dragged Dina into is born from someone who is losing themselves on every level. She hasn’t hit bottom yet and we all had to watch her fall further than we thought she would go. If it weren’t for this moment, we still wouldn’t be crying over her and Dina’s goodbye. We can now see that Ellie is rapidly approaching her bottom, but still doesn’t see it herself.  And thanks to the beach scene know that there is still a part of her that is capable of love and being loved. She can grow again. She can be redeemed. She will have to work for it. Find something to fight for and keep going forward.

Just like Abby.

#this ask really pushed me to view things i hadn't considered #so thanks for that anon #kind orbs with sick shades

[ultranos]

Hi! You don't have to answer this but I dont...really have anyone to ask? I got accepted into engineering school and I was wondering if you had any books to recommend? I've been looking online but I figured actually asking someone who's an engineer might be useful! (Of course the fact that the only engineer I can ask is someone on tumblr isn't a great start lmao)

Sorry about the random ask, and I absolutely adore s&a!

Hey, it's no problem.

First of all, congratulations!

For book recommendations, it depends a lot on what kind of engineering you're going into. I've kept a lot of my textbooks, because those ended up being really good reference material, but they're also very mechanical and electrical engineering focused. But:

Specific texts I know are really good:

Introduction to Algorithms by Thomas H. Cormen, Charles E. Leiserson and Ronald L. Rivest - often referred to as "CLRS", it is pretty much a standard reference for computer science.

A Heat Transfer Textbook by John H. Lienhard IV and John H. Lienhard V - if you're going to do heat and mass transfer, this is an excellent reference written by a father-son team over 20+ years (the goal is to create the best textbook for engineering students on the topic). Also, it is 100% free.

Introduction to Linear Algebra by Gilbert Strang - this was cited to me enough times that I went out to find a copy of the textbook.

Signals and Systems Made Ridiculously Simple by Zoher Z. Karu - if you can find a copy, and are interested in signal processing, grab it. Hilariously, it started as handwritten notes for the MIT class that got passed around so much that the former TA just gave in and turned it into a book.

General texts that are pretty invaluable for reference:

Pocket Ref - 4th Edition by Thomas J. Glover - over 800 pages of tables, maps, formulae, constants, conversions, etc covering a variety of topics from chemistry and physics to glue and solvents.

Machinery's Handbook - it's a machine shop reference, pretty much THE reference for that. I only recommend it if you manage to find a used copy somewhere for cheap, because the brand new current versions are over $100USD.

The Art of Electronics by Paul Horowitz and Winfield Hill - are you interested in circuit design and electrical engineering? This is your authoritative reference.

Practical Electronics for Inventors by Simon Monk and Paul Scherz - a somewhat less daunting and expensive, but no less useful for practical purposes, reference book for electronics.

The Princeton Companion to Mathematics - extensive (and I do mean extensive) overview on mathematics.

The Feynman Lectures on Physics by Richard Feynman - textbook based on Richard Feynman's undergraduate lectures to CalTech students. One of the best comprehensive college-level intro texts on physics. Now also available for free.

Just for Fun:

Piled Higher and Deeper - longrunning webcomic about engineering graduate school. I got a copy of the first book prior to my freshman year of undergrad.

Brick by Brick: How LEGO Rewrote the Rules of Innovation and Conquered the Global Toy Industry by David Robertson and Bill Breen - useful for a case-study in manufacturing engineering and design, and also for actually understanding what the hell the business majors are talking about.

The Disappearing Spoon by Sam Kean - if you're like me, you will possibly hate organic chemistry with a passion. This is a book that goes element-by-element through the periodic table with stories from science, but also everything from history to the arts.

Ignition!: An Informal History of Liquid Rocket Propellants by John Drury Clark - I was first alerted to the existence of this book by a mention in the now-classic article: Sand Won't Save You This Time. Which should tell you a lot.

Do Zombies Dream of Undead Sheep? by Timothy Verstynen and Bradley Voytek - intro to neuroscience by way of analysis of the zombie brain. Not 100% engineering, but it's too much of a fun book to leave off.

#books #reference #nos answers things

[bleachellie]

don’t worry i’m not gonna be annoying abt it or start posting abt it tonnes or anything, but i was Obsessed w/ h*mestuck between like, 2012-2016?? like it was a huge part of my ~teenage years~ ..but i hadn’t touched anything 2 do w/ it since it finished, some might say 4 the best.. 😔

but then a bunch of stuff reminded me of it recently, and i had nothing better 2 do, so i started rereading it 2 see what i thought of it now / see if i could still get thru it, and u kno what it’s been p fun!! 😅 my brain’s kinda fried bcos it’s mostly all i’ve been doing 4 the last week, i started last thursday and i’m up to ~act 6 intermission 3~ already, so like, just over 5,000 pages in 😳

but it’s been a nice nostalgia trip, esp now i just got 2 to the flash games that introduce the alpha trolls, cos i remember being So fucking excited when those flashes originally came out, i think they were one of the first Big things that happened after i finally caught up on the story initially, and they were one of the things i remembered most abt it 😭 also exciting as well cos i think i’d reread acts 1-5 and maybe some of act 6 a couple of times after catching up like, 2012/2013ish, but i’m p sure the only time i read the majority of act 6 up to the end was as it was updating, so it’s cool rereading that for the first time!! 🤯

obvs can’t go w/o mentioning the more ~problematic~ stuff in there tho, some i didn’t rly think too much of when reading it like, 10 years ago, (i rly don’t remember there being so many r-slurs used early on 😕) and some things i was aware of and were discussed at the time that still stand out now, mainly 2 do w/ ableism + racist caricatures / stereotypes wrt a couple of characters.. interestingly the app i’m reading it on (which i downloaded cos it lets u do the flash / interactive stuff that i don’t think works in browser anymore??) has some sort of filter for ~controversial content~ but i left it off cos altho i’m not entirely sure the effect it’d have, i don’t think.. pretending that stuff just Isn’t in there is the way 2 go abt confronting it?? 🤔 but i’m p sure over the years other ppl who are better at writing critical analysis and talking on those topics have talked abt them a lot better than i ever could 😅

but yh, it’s definitely been a different + interesting journey rereading it as an adult vs. reading it as a teen and being abt the same age as the characters!! and i’m definitely excited 2 finish the rest of it, and especially get to some of the stuff towards the end where, apart from all the exciting story shit happening, i’m p sure some of the characters start maturing a lot too, and analysing their younger selves behavior in a p meta way, which i remember being a p interesting read 😝

(also so sorry this somehow this post ended up Way longer than i meant it to when i started writing it.. but again don’t worry this is probs one of the only (or at least the v few) posts i’m gonna make abt it, i just wanted 2 talk abt what i’ve been up to 4 like the last week 😳)

[strawberry1212]

Asian drama female lead passivity

I feel like a lot of aspects of female lead (FL) passivity is discussed (the fish kiss being the most famous example), but I wanted to systematically analyze each trope under the theory of female passivity and its feminist implications.

This topic has been stuck in my mind ever since I read a blog years ago (literally like six years ago so I’m sorry I have no idea where it is, I can’t link it) talking about how intimacy in Asian dramas is always portrayed as something women relent to giving up half-heartedly, and men one sidedly pursue. Women are chaste, men are lustful, and women are yielding to men, that is the essential message.

This dynamic plays out in Western media as well--the movie Don Jon is a super interesting analysis comparing how women are indoctrinated by romcoms, to how men are indoctrinated by porn. So women attach grand romantic gestures and romantic commitment to their self worth, because that’s what the girl gets in her happy ending, while men attach it to sexual prowess/having women do kinky sexual favors.

This dynamic is super harmful because it works to suppress female sexuality, as well as male emotionality. People are always surprised when a woman would rather just want sex (or a career) over a romantic commitment. And men are applauded for having the bare minimum of emotional awareness because it’s so rare.

I think a form of Asian drama female lead (FL) passivity that is most talked about is the infamous “fish kiss.” See exhibit A:

The guy initiates the kiss on the usually unsuspecting girl, as if the girl ever going in for the kiss herself would be too sexually aggressive. And as if even enjoying the kiss would be too much, they have her just stand there eyes wide open. It’s awkward, and even slightly funny to watch, but our critique often ends here. But I think the fish kiss is a symptom of a much deeper problem. 

You will notice that female lead passivity is present in all physical interactions between the romantic interests.

The pull in hug:

Which sometimes the FL looks uncomfortable to frightened in:

I even found a meme, so I know I’m not the only who thinks this is weird:

(meme/photo credit: https://goliath1357.tumblr.com/post/27115253892/kdramareasons-awkward-one-sided-hugs-k-drama)

What I don’t like about this trope is first of all, it makes female consent seem less romantic. It romanticizes this idea of male pursuit/female passivity, the man will protect her, the man will pursue her (basically like an object), the man will do all the work in making the relationship progress, etc., and it romanticizes this dynamic to women--this is easy to romanticize for us, because to the most of us that aren’t being constantly pursued by two hot men, this pursuit dynamic seems like a dream boat. Often the kdrama female lead (due to the Initial Misunderstanding trope) will even dislike and push away the male lead--and yet he still pursues her, how romantic! -_- Except in real life, the guy aggressively pursuing you and ignoring you disinterest is not romantic.

And the issue is on both sides, because it teaches women to just stand there, not express consent, and not express sexual/intimacy enthusiasm when we’re feeling it (that would be ~unladylike~). And on the other side, it teaches men to do all the pursuing and to assume that a girl standing frozen, wide eyed, and often looking scared as you kiss her, is consent. Sometimes the guy even interprets a clear “no” as consent. (Honestly I’m not even sure if these Asian drama writers are thinking along the lines of “xyz is consent,”...like I’m not sure how often they even think of the concept of consent tbh.)

But anyways, passivity. is not. consent!!!! That’s why we have the slogan “Yes mean yes,” meaning both parties must have enthusiastic, clear consent, for respectful intimacy. Asian dramas discourage women from expressing an enthusiastic “yes,” and it teaches men not to expect this “yes,” so they can steamroll past passivity and even rejection.

And I know some people will be boohooing me on this. “But sudden kisses and hugs are so romantic!” people will say. But what is “romantic,” like many things, is a social construct. We think things are romantic because they’ve always been presented to us as romantic, with swelling music in the background and the implicit understanding that anything is ok because they are Soulmates(TM) that end up happy together. We construct our idea of what is romantic largely out of media.

But that is not real life, and carrying those messages over to real life (as we inevitably all do), is dangerous. I just moved to Japan so this especially hits close to home for me: I dress conservatively by American standards, but I couldn’t bring a quarter of my clothes when I moved because I worried men on trains would interpret them as revealing, and therefore I would be “asking for it.” I, and I’m sure many women will feel me on this, think about and fear sexual assault very often. And when we don’t enshrine active consent, we perpetuate rapist culture.

Since “romantic” is anything our society constructs it to be, let’s romanticize enthusiastic consent! (like this NCT song!!) I think sudden kisses can be cute when you’ve established boundaries that it’s is ok, but it scares me that men and women are watching this and thinking suddenly kissing a person you haven’t discussed boundaries/intimacy with at all is cute. It’s all fun and games when it’s the hot male lead kissing the girl you know he’s going to end up with, but it’s not cute when it’s real life men thinking they’re entitled to women’s bodies.

Other examples of female passivity:

I stopped watching Moonlight Drawn over the Clouds at precisely this scene:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6I0WXeD-dc&ab_channel=KBSWORLDTV

because it was so painful to watch her sitting there like a fish as the guys got these cool fight scenes. Like girllll literally do anything, throw a rock, something! First dramas routinely disable the female characters by making the male characters the able fighters, but even if you’re not an able fighter you can do more than just sit there like a lame duck -_- Especially the parts of these scenes where someone is standing over the girl with the sword and the writers don’t give the girl the presence of mind to simply run away, but they give the guy the presence of mind to somersault into the room, jump over ten monkey bars, slash the antagonist, and catch the girl bridal style on his way down. I guess the damsel in distress trope is as old as the book, but just the complete passivity so many female characters show in fight scenes as they need to be saved is really annoying and disempowering.

I think the worst part is their faces, they’re all like omg! this is so sad!

well girl you could have done literally ANYTHING other than sit there as he took ten bullets for you lmao. Women don’t exist to stand by and be saved!!! This is a historical drama but the modern drama version is when the guy is getting beat up by bullies or whatever and the girl just stands by and does nothing but look upset.

Another good trope that is under this passivity theme is the double wrist grab, where we not only have ONE male lead (ML) manhandling the FL, but TWO MLs. Ahh yes the only thing better than forcibly ignoring consent and the FL’s wishes is TWO men doing it.

I heard this recently even happened in True Beauty...which...that drama...truly I thought Kdramas were progressing until I saw how much people were hyping up that mess of misogyny (not to mention how boringly predictable it was). 

I can’t quite express this next trope in a screenshot, but something I also see a lot of is the ML professing his love to the FL and she sort of just stands there like O_O. Like she’s just sort of this object that sits there being admired? It’s just such an unnatural way to react to someone professing their love for you, and these scenes drag on for many minutes of just the ML’s dialogue so the female actress, having no lines, has no choice but to sit there O_O. Like give her lines! Give her reactions! Give her anything other than being wide eyed!!!!

And these physical interactions represent deeper emotional passivity in the female lead.

I’ve noticed it’s almost always the trend of the male lead falls later, but falls harder, and ultimately he puts more energy into making the relationship progress. Again, this buys into female fantasy, but it is an unhealthy fantasy that is grounded, I think, in our insecurities, and our fear of putting ourselves out there (so we would rather have someone pursue us than put ourselves out there and meet someone halfway).

This emotional passivity is why, weirdly enough, sometimes I will really like the drama because the girl is very stubbornly, openly, and aggressively pursuing the guy. A case of this is Itazura na Kiss, or Mischievous Kiss (there’s a Jdrama, Kdrama, and anime--I only watched the anime). Now the guy is downright meannnnn in Mischievous Kiss, this was not a healthy relationship at all, but there was something refreshing about the girl. Sure her aggression was in pursuing a man, but at least it was aggression, and I’d always only seen any hint of female sexuality/actively pursuing as something very stigmatized. 

I think a sister trope to the passivity trope is the innocence trope. The guy will literally take the initiative to profess his undying love to the FL and she’ll be like “what?? omg stop teasing you’re joking ahahha.” Why do FLs need to be so oblivious/innocent? I think it caters to the way media is seen through a male gaze but that’s a trope to deconstruct another time.

#feminism #asiandrama #jdrama #kdrama #cdrama #kdrama tropes #kdrama analysis #kdrama feminism

[plutoswrath]

i’m sorry to annoy you with this again. i just look up to your kpop mixed with astrology content. but lucas’s neptune contact with his mc is going to annoy the shit out of me until this is fixed. the cloudiness that neptune brings to his public image is something that i think possibly fuels these situations further. false accusations and mixed perceptions based off of them is exactly what makes these scandals to continue on and on. and i’m sick of it. both sides ignore what the other is saying and it gets nowhere. neptune, the malefic bastard.

Hello! I saw your recent asks and I appreciate your words regarding my content, thank you so much for the kind words! <3

I will touch on astrolgy under the cut, but before this happens, I want to leave a few words. There's a reason why I didn't answer the previous questions I received (not only yours op) regarding the Lucas situation so far. For several reasons I didn't want to feed into any sort of (perceived) sensationalism in regards to the Lucas situation, even though I'd really love to look at the situation from an astrological point of view. That people are divided on this topic is to be expected, but I think the way it has been handled by majority so far is very bad. I really want to elaborate on my reasoning why we should rethink the way we talk about/represent the Lucas situation right now, but as this topic is very kpop specific everything will be under the cut.

My reasoning for avoiding any questions about it until now:

1. People already don't take the situation seriously enough: Regardless of what your standpoint is, I'd like for people to consider looking at it from a more critical point of view for a second: The allegations are not about him being exposed as ‘just a f-boy’ as some people make it out to be, they are more serious than that. Lucas allegedly manipulated and used these women for his own emotional/sexual/financial needs and ego boost. The fact that he has money and allegedly still used other people to provide financially for him just demonstrates the power play underneath it all. He abused his position of power as an idol, the power dynamics between him and fans who idolize him are plain and simple just completely off. Please think about the fact, that he allegedly decided who to date on at fansigns. This alone gives no security to any fans that want to attend fansigns in the future. TW SV: he also talked one of these women into having sex with him + doing it unprotected, which is not only emotionally/sexually manipulative/coercive and can possibly be traumatic for them but also heightens the risk for transfering STD's as END TW he was supposedly seeing people at the same time/cheating. In general, the behavior he gets accused of leaves trauma and is abuse, to be more specific abuse of power on multiple levels and his social position makes it just easier to continue abusing that power. As you've mentioned yourself op, there is a huge back and forth about the allegations, and I know people like to take situations like the one of Taeyong as an example to justify that not every public apology is real and that allegations turn out to be false years later, but I believe it's different this time and that the allegations that came forward were real. Even his cbar closed, a fanbase that works closely with Label V (!), that alone shows that there is 'at least' some truth to the story, or else his hardcore fanbase wouldn't have decided to turn their back on him in matters of just days. Also, all the 'jokes' and the portrayal of 'juicy gossip' people make about the situation just downplays and ridicules the possible traumatic experiences of the people that were hurt by his actions. If anyone decides to not believe these allegations until SM gives a more specific statement, that's fine, but please do so without making fun of the people who were victims of his behavior, as there is already little to no sympathy for them online. It makes it just way harder for any survivors in the future to speak out on their experience. People say it's 'nothing illegal, just morally wrong' but given the fact that he is also a person in power, the line between 'just' morally wrong and illegal can be very thin in some cases. And please overthink arguments such as: 'this is typical boy behavior for someone in his 20's'/ 'he's just an f-boy' or 'boys will be boys' because they are deeply misogynistic and we shouldn't normalize behavior like that, thus making the root of the problem actually way deeper than most people think.

2. WayV's future: This mainly goes for people who are fans of WayV. I know not everyone probably likes to hear this, but another thing why wild speculations, sensationalism or even possible defence about this situation should be kept on the low is WayV's career. I want to be honest here, but I'm scared for their future, their comeback for october has been cancelled for now and they are put on a hiatus for several months as far as I know. They were on a good path of gaining more and more recognition and establishing themselves even better as a c-pop group, but now Luca's reputation in China (their target audience) is as good as gone and that pulls all of WayV down to rock bottom with him. People really need to try seeing the story out of the eyes of the korean and especially chinese fans as well, their perception of the allegations (especially after the Kris Wu situation!) are way different and more serious than the ones of i-fans and i-fans have to accept that. Also, we all know how companies (especially SM) handle these type of situations: keep the people on the low till the storm has calmed down. But will the storm ever calm down for Lucas when his public image is basically destroyed, and thus WayV as well? What I want people to understand is that this whole situation affects WayV and their career directly, actually on the biggest scale possible. All the work so far is at risk to be for good and I think a lot of fans tend to forget that, things look especially critical for HenXiaoYanKun if WayV would be to continue/redebute/fall apart. It doesn't matter if Lucas talking bad about the members/the companies/shows he works with/for was real or not in the end, because unfortunately damage is already done, WayV's image (WayV= family) is already tarnished and WayV as a group will suffer from this. You summed it up with malefic Neptune the best actually: We all don't know the full confirmed truth about the situation and will most likely never know it. (small astro insight here as well, but part of Neptune is to accept fantasy for what it is: fantasy, and thus turn to cold reality when you're in too deep)

3. What O'd advice the fandom to do right now: Regardless of your opinion on the situation, what we as a fandom can do best right now is staying on the low, wait things out, and stop adding more fire to the situation with our actions and wait how the situation actually developes, since a) we can not fasten the process and b) a lot of rumors, false information and unnecessary details get exposed to mudd the waters and to discredit the statement of the victims as well. I've seen some strong reactions from both sides, but as someone who's a big fan of nct in general I really just want to say that part of the fandom throwing a fit on the internet leads basically to nothing, it actually only reflects even worse on nctzens/weshennies and thus on WayV's (and also NCT as whole) image as well. Things right now are handled internal, not extern. Whatever gets through to the public will be half of the story anyway. A lot of people seem to forget, that we talk about SM and all they care for right now is saving themselves economically (think about the domino effect this situation has on the whole group/company), so we will have to see what their final decision is going to be, if anything will happen at all. For now, be patient, wait and see. Last words: It's okay to feel hurt/confused/angry/drained. Even though most of us are aware that we dont know any celebrity's character, it's still hard to swallow and to digest because you were a fan of that artist. Let it take time and vent. Take a break from it if it gets too much! Talking about it to process your emotions better is okay and very valid, but keep in mind that you should not worsen the situation by doing so - it's already absolute chaos.

Also: This statement is by no means a direct attack to anyone or me trying to push my opinion onto you, just my two cents in how to handle the situation best right now, because our hands are basically tied. Also: agree to disagree. If you don't like that I side with the victims (unless there is an official statement that Lucas is proven not guilty, which I doubt, unfortunately) then so be it, but don't start a war in my inbox for our opinions differing.

-------

Now, to astrology:

Disclaimer: This analysis will not be very light-hearted, but remember that it's just a theory and not me trying to confirm anything!

First of all op, sorry for just answering you know, but I neded some time to think through how to adress this without adding to the fire with my astrological analysis! Boy, does the birth time fit the shoe right now. To be fair as I did my short rising sign analysis about him recently, I cancelled out every other fire rising except for Leo, because I got stuck on the ego part a bit. Anything for me made sense, as long as it highlights his ego, which by itself doesn't have to be a bad thing automatically, but there's always two sides of the coin as we all know.

I looked into the transits the past week and added a few asteroids/mathematical points as well. An anon before pointed to the full moon happening in his tenth house, conjunct his sun, etc. (I deleted the ask because I didn't know what was going on at that time and thought it was just the 'usual' rumors that once in a while get spread around, but after looking more into it I decided this was not the right time to stirr the pot in any kind of way or treat it as funny, hot gos). But yeah a full Moon in Aquarius happening in his 10th house AND on top of that Saturn in Aquarius, conjuncting that Moon and his natal Uranus in the 10th! Talk about destrcution of any stable foundation and a change in a public image! Honestly, looking at astrologically the way his public image just got radically destroyed over night, with Saturn and the Moon having been in a conjunction (in his chart it was in the 10th house) is kinda eery even. Talk about collective consciousness - not only exposing quiet literally the feelings of the collective, but also doing so in the favor of others and gaining collective emotional consciousness. Take this with a grain of salt (!), because we're still in a tense situation, but I'm tapping into the darker, unfriendlier side of astrology now. Taking his confirmed birth time, he has Nessus in Sagittarius in his 8th house and as I saw that I could feel myself shifting into the surprised pikachu face. I am not saying that this prooves the allegations whatsoever, but as you seemed to be very interested in anaylzing the case in-depth as well, the allegations fit his Nessus - jumping from partner to partner, carelessness (regarding physical intimacy as well), making people share all their ressources with him/finacial gain, and basically the whole jist of gaining control/being in a power position in intimate connections. Keep in mind that this is only one interpretation of Nessus though, Nessus can also show the complete opposite to someone 'turning to their dark side'. On top of that, his Nessus was conjunct transit Phollus the past week, so if anything, we can see that a large event triggered him to 'open his eyes' and face anything of an 'obstacle' that hinders him from seeing the 'truth' to a larger picture and his own nature/destiny. Pholus can symbolize change that will alter your perception of the responsibility you have for yourself and others.

But my latest new interest with these two asteroids aside (asteroids just add a little more nuance to a situation after all), I want to touch on Lilith too, since you (op) have mentioned Lilith before in one of your asks!

He has his Lilith exactly conjunct his Descendant when we consider his confirmed birth time. What happened just now can be seen as 'backfiring' of his actions, either Lilith embodying the women who expose him now for his 'inappropriate' behavior, but also simply fans shaming him now for his alleged manipulative/imoral behavior, especially shaming him about who he chose to date and how. Next to that, you've mentioned Lilith opposite Moon and it just makes me think about him possibly feeling very indecisive and potentially in denial about what he actually needs to be fulfilled in order to be emotionally happy and thus leading to him appearing to have this 'second, dark side' to him now. BML is not necessarily opposite the Moon in my opinion, it's just the side of the subconscious we don't really like to deal with and all we're told not to express and desire because it can be conflicting in the eyes of others (thus BML also leading to a lot of recklessness on the negative side). I think if we take the allegations into consideration, regardless of how much of it is true of it, it can be a good example what happens, when an opposition gets out of balance, as it also manifests outwardly a lot! Lilith shows in his 'double life' aka what he allegedly did with fans. Lilith wanted an outlet and found one by working behind the scenes. If we take in his supposed Taurus rising, which his Lilith is in an exact opposition with, it's a good example of what can lurk underneath the surface.

And of course, last but not least, Neptune and Sun conjunct his MC. People are quiet literally blinded by him more than they would like to think. Also: Lucas was always known for his 'flirty & charismatic' nature, this is another reason why people think we shouldn't be surprised he 'turns out to be like that in real life'. I'm not analyzing this argument right now, but what I think is very interesting is how Sun conjunct MC literally ties a good amount of their personality to their career - they want to be accepted and shine for their personality/big part of their individuality. Idols play a role, no matter how transparent they appear to us, but it's really funny how this 'image' of him melts almost seemingly with parts of his personality (almost af if you were to quiet literally sell your self) and as you've mentioned: Neptune only adds to that, unfortunately.

#replies #anonymous #might delete later?? #idk depends if the situations gets even worse

[slutabed]

(I hope this isnt rude sjsksjss) but I was reading your scrubs stories on ao3 and can I ask what kind of eating disorder your hc jeff as having?? bc I can’t really tell (the story is still good!!!! I was jw)

Not rude! Thank you and thanks for asking and I’m sorry this is going to turn into a novel bc I get v emo about ED jeff i could talk about him forever. I’m just going to put this under a read more for obviously triggering topics lol.

So I’m convinced 85% of why Jeff Winger exists is to act as a vehicle for my own projections, lol, but I think it actually makes sense for him in canon to have EDNOS (although I think that term is outdated by now lol and actually goes by OSFED, other specified feeding or eating disorder).

I guess more specifically I would say his behaviors (in my fic and canon) indicate EDNOS but can fall under the labels of orthorexia with binge eating or restrict/binge tendencies. Orthorexia (to my understanding) is kind of an obsession with the purity of food or an obsession with “clean eating,” so like:

cutting out carbs and processed food

making fun of abed for his cereal and the sugar in his Special Drink in season one

in his fantasy world the vending machines are full of meat instead of processed snacks lol

all those hardboiled eggs

(in my fic) a hang-up about the morality of food/categorizing food as Good and Bad

I have EDNOS and fall into orthorexia habits pretty frequently and I see a lot of that in Jeff. But I also see Jeff as having binge eating tendencies (which like hello after years of bulimia, binge eating is my own personal demon these days so I give him that too so we can suffer together lol). Plus:

once he starts eating junk food when he’s living with Abed you see him at the ice cream station and then opening up the vending machine and grabbing snacks, and like there’s nothing inherently wrong with having dessert and snacking!!! but the way that he’s doing it seems way more like bingeing than snacking esp given that he’s already kind of in a downward spiral at that point anyway

when Leonard says he ate all the macaroni he turns to Britta and says “I did eat all the macaroni. It’s messed up that he knows” and like...for Jeff who doesn’t really eat carbs to eat “all the macaroni” (esp just because that’s like my #1 binge food yes I’m projecting yes shut up) again just points to that part of it for me.

Uhhhh yeah like I said sorry this turned into a novel. Idk a lot of people HC him with different EDs and they could all probably fit but yeah this is equal parts my analysis of him in canon and my own disordered eating habits projected on him but yeah. I never want to make it seem inauthentic or like I’m glamorizing or making a caricature of EDs in my story so feel free to call me out if it ever seems like that lol, like I said Jeff Winger is a vehicle upon which I project my own insecurities so. Yeah. Hope that explanation helped lol!

#tw: ed #jeff winger #asks #anonymous #community #sorry this got so long lol #and also i've never been diagnosed or treated for any of my ed issues #but also like #take what i say with a grain of salt but #you know #tw: eating disorders #if that wasn't clear before my b

[themelodicenigma]

I’ve seen a lot more talks recently going around about Ultimanias, Benny Matsuyama, Maiden, etc. Here, on the Twitter...If there is one thing I’m genuinely curious about, is what exactly sets everyone’s understanding about epitexts? For supplemental materials like guidebooks or reference/fan books and how exactly they’re produced? How much do you understand about the history of Studio BentStuff and their way of making said materials, or even about anything related to authorship and publication?

There are just too many things thrown around so easily on the internet these days, not enough productive conversations about these things man. It’s...weird.

It’s easier to have a conversation with someone if I understand their foundational logic for this stuff, because a lot of the things I see are very strange. Or at the least, isn’t practical for what goes behind the production of these types of materials. Authorship and production knowledge is important—having a pragmatic approach for having a sense of what happens “behind the books” is a must have for decent conversations about guidebook/fan book making. Whether it’s for materials that are purely informational, for entertainment and uniqueness, or the sweet spots between—right where BentStuff typically specializes in.

There are SOOO many companies, SOOO many writers and editors, that exist and create this stuff, obviously going way beyond just Japanese related companies like that of the Famitsu, Dengeki, or V-Jump brands. But, obviously given the tags, FFVII or Square Enix games are the topic for today, along with BentStuff. For this stuff (heh), there has always been more than just Studio BentStuff, and even for them, the foundation of how they make their books is what makes them, I’d say, one of the best companies that do what they do. And what they do, how they get it done, was always set before the Ultimania series. If you don’t know about how they made their ALL ABOUT series or their Kaitai Shinsho (解体真書) series, then you don’t really know about the Ultimania—the former two being the heart of the “research and analysis” and “project”-minded approach they use to create that series. I know many don’t understand Japanese or don’t want to go through the trouble of working out translations, but....there is SO much information out there, on their website, in their books. And to be honest, so many of these misunderstandings start to not make sense to me when we have had whole online communities for decades dedicating themselves to translate stuff and provide information.

We can regurgitate the same quotes from the same books for 20 years, making circular arguments, but not talk about this in-depth?

I’ve been planning on releasing this huge thing, this “archive” essentially, of information about BentStuff, but I’ve realized that it’s honestly easier to talk about these things on a more case by case basis with interested people. Because there’s a lot, and I want to be able to talk to people about this stuff so people can really get where I’m coming from. Maybe I’ll post something at a later time to get something started, but this would definitely be a thread where it could start.

But, like, I gotta cover something I saw recently.

Honestly what set this off for me is someone saying that Matsuyama is a “rando writer” (as in being external to BentStuff) or was “commissioned” to write the Diary Entries or Maiden....

It’s just...so interesting the amount of confidence one has when saying these things without any of the proper evidence or understanding on the subject. I’m not trying to be harsh, but, it’s just weird. I just want to throw this out there, real quick:

Matsuyama essentially co-founded Studio BentStuff along with a few other writers from the BASIC magazine company, the lead in that being Akira Yamashita, who is the CEO. Matsuyama is one of the Directors of the company, along with Ichiro Tezuka, a name ya’ll probably recognize from FFIV stuff. This company was built by writers and lead by writers, but many others (some from BASIC too) eventually joined them to create what we have now. He ain’t no “external” nothing, though when it comes to their published books, it is true he didn’t do much until the FFVII Kaitai Shinsho. 

Also, BentStuff write and edit [proofread] their own books, even if there are others who will supplement this, typically the publishing editors. e.g. like with Kaitai, those in the Famitsu editing department (whoever published Famitsu at the time) or for the Ultimania, editors from SE. Naturally that is to say, they get whatever they need if they can from the developers of what book their making—this is the same for any company who makes guides, really, if they have the opportunity to be in further contact with them. However, that caption of a picture you keep quoting from the book? A line from the character profile? Story Playback? You can literally see in the back of the book who was in charge of writing that—go read their staff comments on their website (if you don’t feel like translating like I did, just use Google, you can at least get a general gist for most comments). There’s a lot (they stopped including comments around the FFXII Battle Ultimania), with Ultimania being the latest series, but check out ALL ABOUT and Kaitai Shinsho stuff, too, but there’s even stuff for Dragon Quest. It’s a treasure trove, and the staff say some funny things too a lot of the time. Either way, you’ll appreciate what it is they go through to make these materials.

On that note, of Matsuyama’s writings (particularly of the Diary Entries and Maiden for this discussion), he was never commissioned specifically to write what he does—his own staff comments on the BentStuff website and the peritext (or lack thereof) in the books counteract this alone. Not to mention, it isn’t practical in how the process of their book production works.

Yes, BentStuff as a company can either get the license or be hired to write a guidebook, but in determining who does what for the book, this isn’t done the same as, say, Jun Eishima being hired by SE to write the FFXIII or FFXV novels. Or, even, what Matsuyama would’ve had if he was able to write the originally planned novel for Lightning Returns. The decision of who does what is mostly internal of that of BentStuff, for example, who does the Scenario section, or the maps, who writes the prologue if included, who does the character profiles, boss data, speedruns, time charts, technique tables, etc. Whatever. Matsuyama, just like everyone else, does his decided part, and we can’t any more say he was specifically “commissioned” to write his creative materials than we could for all the other members doing their roles. At least, not without the proper evidence. (get into more below)

Either way, don’t create the wrong idea by using "commission” to describe the reasons as to why Matsuyama included these materials—the most practical and rational reason being, you know outside of him co-founding the company, that many companies allow creative freedoms or projects to be had about their works. Canonical or not—this isn’t new. If a company founded by writers gets the opportunity to write guidebooks, it makes sense for them to seek the opportunity to work in their own “projects” to make their books unique, and the idea of this started all the way back in their ALL ABOUT series, precedent to both Kaitai Shinsho and Ultimania.

There of course, has been other things, like “Square Enix said” when it comes to anything written in the Ultimania books, the notion that certain presentations within a guidebook suggest canonicity, that the more creative materials [their “projects”] Benny or other BentStuff members create are canonical simply because they’re in the books, etc.....oh boy. 

He isn’t a “rando”, nor was it “commissioned”, and most of his creative works are limited to the books for entertainment purposes by BentStuff, for the book, and typically nothing more like being officially a part of the respective series canon. Unless evidence supports his or other’s authenticity as author’s for the series in question, I believe the default thought for ALL his materials should be that of fun readings for the books, expressions by BentStuff. That honestly goes into a different conversation about the canonicity of any of Matsuyama’s or others materials in the guidebooks and about authorship/authenticity, but the important thing to note is the two emphasized points above. If you want to get into canonicity, we definitely can as, honestly, it isn’t really too hard to cover with the proper evidence, which is also from in-book peritext or Benny’s own comments. Other observational stuff too. There are only a handful of materials that can really be discussed based on evidence of Matsuyama’s authenticity as a writer for the respective series. At the top of my head, included would be the short stories for Brave Fencer Kaitai Shinsho, the FFXIII Omega story, and maybe, his materials for the series SaGa—some like Beender just setting-wise aren’t canonical, but the value of his interpretation for this series can be discussed considering he has worked on one of the games scenario at a later date.

I digress.

Like I said, I’m just open to discuss this stuff without having to write a huge informational dump of like, their entire history, though I know people who are researching themselves would find that useful. It’s just a lot. But if any of that above is something you believe or disagree with, please, feel free to tell me why and we can get this ball rolling. It’s fun to talk about, at a certain point, I didn’t spend all my time researching just to be miserable. 

Eh, sort of.

Misery loves company, so....

#final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 remake #square enix #Studio Bentstuff #ultimania #Tetsuya Nomura

[pliywraght]

hi! sorry if this is annoying you probably get tons of theses asks, but what does it mean if i got henry V? i found a speech he did in the play but it was long and the only thing i took out of it was him saying ‘by jove’ which is really funny and i’m going to be using that in the future

henry v is super interesting as a character because he’s in THREE of Shakespeare’s plays, so there’s a lot to cover. when thinks start out for him, he’s called Prince Hal. he’s a little rough around the edges, playing waaay harder than he works, partyboy, prankster - you know the deal. there’s some really heavy stuff between him and his father when the topic of “uhhh you’re gonnna be king one day” comes up and prince hal’s got more depth to him than the partying would have you believe.

unfortunately, henry v is king and trying to prove just how mature he is - he starts a war over a chest of tennis balls - at least, that’s shakespeare’s version of the story. it’s interesting that he never fully changes though. the play henry v starts with this whole thing about going to war with france because he won’t take an insult, because he’s not a kid anymore - but there’s also a scene later where he disguises himself to do some light-hearted spying on his men and prank two soldiers in particular. i’ve heard superior analysis say it’s a bit like Henry V is three people. There’s the fun-loving Prince Hal, the fierce King Henry who rushes into battle, and in some softer moments - wooing, for example - he is called (or cals himself) Harry. keep in mind that i’m strictly talking about Shakespeare’s version the character and not any historical accounts. there’s more to be said here, but this is a quick little rundown of the guy. i’m not really going to be answering these in terms of “what does it say about ME if i get this result on the test?” and more just a general “here’s some stuff about that character” because it’s infinitely more comfortable for both parties.

#what letters hast thou there? #long post