I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.
Turns out that was a perilous mistake.
Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me
What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:
LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"
The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--
How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls
And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:
Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.
Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)
Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:
Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me
Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:
I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.
And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...
I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.
How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.
Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.
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Bruh yall fam I love Danny Phantom crossovers
Like hes so easy to plop in other universes
The idea hes in Miraculous Ladybug and gets akumatized and just talks to hawkmoth. Dudes stuck with this 14-16year old kid cause the bug wont/can’t get out. Kid please im trying to work stfu. Ok yes yes my fault for trying to use you in my evil plot hut it’s 4 am and I have a big meeting in the morning. Kinda shit. That or Ladybug thinks hes an akuma when hes Phantom snd doesn’t trust shit he has to say.
Mcu? Hawkeye getting another kid. Ironman finding out parenting is easy wtf is wrong with people. Captain America finding out parenting is hard someone help him. Bucky just chillin. Thor throwin hands. Loki 🤝 Danny
Fnaf? Dudes a dope security guard and befriends all the animatronics. Or hes just a dead kid haunting the place who befriends the DCA. Who probably don’t like him at first cause hes a dirty rule breaker. But a kids a kid man.
Saiki K? Do yall think Danny could clock Saiki? 20$ says Danny head empty so Saiki thinks hes either like him or like Nenduo and avoids him either way.
RWBY? Ozpin son and defence squad. Too easy next.
Soul Eater? Hell yes fuck yes. Bruh don’t need no one and is topping the charts as worst student ever cause he aint collecting one soul. Helping those fuckers move on. Oh now hes expelled. Well you can’t expels him sir hes walking out. Next new villain cause hes saving those souls you sick fucks. Oh yea these are bad people? Well doesn’t mean they should be used to give you a fucking one up. His own soul has been used to power a country and that shit sucked. No one deserves to have their own being used like that. Wtf (souls arent the same here danny smh you are starving some poor kids probably idk I have t seen the show in ages)
Honestly idk how I would put him in SAO? He would just win?
Psych? Yea hes called in a tip and everyone is sus about him like with how they are about Shawn. So fuck it. Plays it up. Holy shit a ghost! Shawn is going thru it in here cause ghosts arent real right? Gus probably making Shawn take a break from cases cause hes clearly lacking sleep. Though didn’t Gus believe in ghosts??? Lassiter actually ends up liking the kid. Pranking Shawn is just a bonus. Karen knows.
Doctor who? Again too easy next.
DC? Adopt him adopt him adopt him adopt him. No matter which dc character is it they gonna adopt. Unless it’s Joker cause he dies on sight.
MHA? Bruh still getting adopted by someone.
Why is Danny so adoptable???
Put that fucker in warrior cats and bluestar is gonna come fukin running
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I can get why yutus so afraid of azul. He's heard a hundred stories about a suave, smug, but clingy octopus and then he meets him and hes this possessive little swinderler who's trying to get him to sell his soul to him and fuck his parent lmao
referencing the tags on this ask about this au
Tako Yutu didn't have the easiest time as a kid.
He was a chubby little thing raised by a single parent who didn't have the clearest memories of his father, or of their past at all really. I wrote Yuu and Yutu as being a sort of outcasts in the community because people thought they were strange, and were skeptical of Yuu's amnesia. Azul! Yutu was really bothered by that, much like his dad he got bullied and sought solace in books, but unlike him Yuu decided to enroll Yutu in some martial arts classes and hey. He was pretty good at those, his submission holds are real bad news, even won him some competitions. But he's not some muscle head even if he sort of looks like one (he didn't really drop his baby weight so much as he did bulk up) so when he gets his first real look at his father... everything in him is screaming that this guy is sketchy. He knows that Azul and the twins are watching him even if he can't see it outright and to make matters worse, when he asks his parent about him they make a face. A face Yutu knows well that he thought was reserved for the annoying nosy couple who lived next door to you and not his father. His father who Yuu's few memories had made sound wonderful; his father who was supposedly talented and hard working, smart and proud of it, but so desperately in love with his parent they still longed for him with broken memories in a completely different world. His father who Yuu had said he was so much like.
"He's not a bad guy." Yuu says and Grim huffs.
"Don't listen to them Henchuman 2." Yutu has no idea how he feels about Grim calling him that. "Azul's reeeeeeeal bad news. If he's interested in ya' it can only mean one thing, he's after your tuna and he's after your magic."
"That's two things." A smooth voice says at the same time he does and for once, Yutu sees surprise on Azul's face when he tries to make eye contact and not carefully calculated confidence.
"Well they do say great minds think alike." His father says and extends a hand. "But I must say you didn't strike me as the shy type, it is Yutu right?" The way he says it, the way he shakes his hand, Yutu knows he at least suspects him. So he smiles and makes sure to make his handshake just a touch too firm when he responds.
"That's right." Yutu is impressed that Azul doesn't flinch even slightly when he pulls back his hand, if anything his little action makes his smile wider. "And not so much shy as just curious and knowing better than to poke my nose where it doesn't belong."
"Not until you've asked anyway." Azul really isn't content with letting him remain ambiguous, he thinks nervously glancing back to Yuu. "But still there really is no need to bother the prefect over such trivial things, if you have questions about me you can just pay me a visit at the Mostro Lounge. My door is always open to poor unfortunate souls such as yourself." Azul smiles at him and adjusts his glasses and Yutu is... impressed even if the thought of being alone with this man terrifies him. But he's going to have to be eventually, Azul really wants to talk to him for some reason and Yutu finds himself wondering if he's going to find it possible to lie, or just what price he will be expected to pay to have the privilege of keeping his secrets.
But when he looks at the way Azul talks to Yuu... he isn't sure if he likes it but he does find it funny. Azul is so horrendously down bad and Yuu is so unaware of it (there's a part of him that thinks Azul might be a little bit jealous of him which he finds really funny). And Yutu understands why Yuu likes Azul so much. He is everything they remembered him being: smart, ambitious, and motivated. It makes him a little more secure in his existence even if he doubts that Azul will like having a son like him. But that's ok too because a son like him is exactly what's needed to make sure his parents get to stay together in this timeline.
now if only he can convince him to stop bugging him for his real name
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So um, in light of my last post I was inspired to look into other dsmp people's ages because I feel like we don’t really think about it too often and oh does it make things interesting…
Just for reference and consideration, here are some United States Legal Age Minimums:
Drive: 16-18
Adult: 18-21
Vote: 18
Drink Alcohol: 21
Political Office: 25 (Representative) 30 (Senator) 35 (President)
Military: 17-18
Also Note: On average the brain is scientifically not fully developed until age 25 - and oh wouldn't you know it 90% of the server fall under that, meaning no wonder we have a bunch of wars their prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed and wouldn't you know it that part of the brain is responsible for regulating attention, behavior, and emotion as well as the processing that Actions Have Consequences... huh whelp that makes sense.
Anyways… age data is below (I didn't do everyone nor every event - nobody got time for that ;D... I didn't have time for this to begin with lol...) But I specifically want to highlight that not only was Dream 21 from Jan-Aug of his Imprisonment, but Sam was also 21 till Jun, and Quackity was literally 20 while he was daily torturing Dream... 20?! They were roughly a year apart, all of them so close. Like can you imagine, treating your peer like that? Sam is like a couple months older than Dream and that's it. Quackity can't even drink legally in the United States. That's insane...
(* to signify canonical Immortality)
Ok, so the full list of members and ages is at the bottom, but first, here are so key events I picked just to highlight their ages at the time.
Server Creation - April 24, 2020
GeorgeNotFound - 23 Callahan - 23 Dream - 20 Sapnap - 19
L'Manberg War - August 2, 2020
BadBoyHalo - 25 WilburSoot - 23 GeorgeNotFound - 23 Callahan - 23 Punz - 23 Eret - 21 Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 20 Fundy - 20 Skeppy - 20 Ponk - 20 Quackity - 19 Sapnap - 19 Niki Nihachu - 19 Jack Manifold - 17 Purpled - 16 Tubbo - 16 Tommy - 16
Pogtopia vs Manberg War - November 16th, 2020
Philza - 32* BadBoyHalo - 25 HBomb - 26 WilburSoot - 24 GeorgeNotFound - 24 Callahan - 23 Punz - 23 Karl Jacobs -22 Antfrost - 22 CaptainPuffy - 22 Eret - 21 Technoblade - 21* Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 21 Connor - 21 Schlatt - 21 Fundy - 21 Skeppy - 20 Ponk - 20 Quackity - 19 Sapnap - 19 Niki Nihachu - 19 Jack Manifold - 18 Purpled - 17 Ranboo - 17 Tubbo - 16 Tommy - 16
Exile - December 4, 2020
Ghostbur - 24 Technoblade - 21* Dream - 21 Ranboo - 17 Tubbo - 16 Tommy - 16
Doomsday - January 6, 2021
Philza - 32* HBomb - 27 Callahan - 23 Punz - 23 CaptainPuffy - 22 Eret - 21 Technoblade - 21* Dream - 21 Fundy - 21 Ponk - 20 Quackity - 20 Sapnap - 19 Niki Nihachu - 19 Jack Manifold - 18 Ranboo - 17 Tubbo - 17 Tommy - 16
Disc Confrontation - January 20, 2021
HBomb - 27 BadBoyHalo - 25 Callahan - 24 Punz - 23 Antfrost - 22 CaptainPuffy - 22 Eret - 22 Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 21 Ponk - 20 Quackity - 20 Sapnap - 19 Niki Nihachu - 19 Jack Manifold - 18 Ranboo - 17 Tubbo - 17 Tommy - 16
Quackity’s First Prison Visit - March 16, 2021
Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 21 Quackity - 20
Techno's Visit- June 6, 2021
Technoblade - 22* Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 21
Jailbreak - November 28, 2021
Philza - 33* HBomb - 27 BadBoyHalo - 26 George - 25 Callahan - 24 Punz - 24 Karl Jacobs - 23 Antfrost - 23 CaptainPuffy - 23 Foolish Gamers - 22 Eret - 22 Technoblade - 22* Awesamdude - 22 Dream - 22 Connor - 22 Fundy - 22 Skeppy - 21 Hannahxxrose - 21 Ponk - 21 Quackity - 20 Sapnap - 20 Niki Nihachu - 20 Jack Manifold - 19 Purpled - 18 Ranboo - 18 Tubbo - 17 Tommy - 17
Comprehensive List From Oldest to Youngest: Name - Date of Birth (Current Age) - [Join Date] Age when Joined
Philza- March 1, 1988 (36) – [Nov 16, 2020] 32 *Immortal*
HBomb- Jan 4, 1994 (30) – [Sept 22, 2020] 26
BadBoyHalo- April 2, 1995 (28) – [May 19, 2020] 25
Wilbur- Sept 14, 1996 (27) – [July 12, 2020] 23
GeorgeNotFound- Nov 1, 1996 (27) – [April 24, 2020] 23
Callahan- Jan 19, 1997 (27) – [April 24, 2020] 23
Punz- Jan 31, 1997 (27) – [July 7, 2020] 23
Karl Jacobs- July 19, 1998 (25) – [Aug 26, 2020] 22
Antfrost- Aug 27, 1998 (25) – [Sep 5, 2020] 22
Captain Puffy- Sept 18, 1998 (25) – [Nov 16, 2020] 22
Foolish Gamers- Dec 18, 1998 (25) – [Jan 16, 2021] 22 *Immortal*
Eret- Jan 9, 1999 (25) – [July 19, 2020] 21
Technoblade- June 1, 1999 (23) – [Sept 22, 2020] 21 *Immortal*
Awesamdude - June 8, 1999 (24) – [April 28, 2020] 20
Dream - Aug 12, 1999 (24) – [April 24, 2020] 20
Connor- Aug 26, 1999 (24) – [Nov 16, 2020] 21
Schlatt- Sept 10, 1999 (24) – [Sept 20, 2020] 21
Fundy- Oct 10, 1999 (24) – [July 7, 2020] 20
Skeppy- Jan 17, 2000 (24) – [July 18, 2020] 20
Ponk- April 18, 2000 (23) – [May 7, 2020] 20
Quackity- Dec 28, 2000 (23) – [Aug 11, 2020] 19
Sapnap- March 1, 2001 (23) – [April 24, 2020] 19
Niki Nihachu- Nov 3, 2001 (22) – [Aug 6, 2020] 18
Jack Manifold- Aug 14, 2002 (21) – [Aug 3, 2020] 17
Purpled- Oct 24, 2003 (20) – [July 9, 2020] 16
Ranboo- Nov 2, 2003 (20) – [Nov 17, 2020] 17
Tubbo- Dec 23, 2003 (20) – [July 7, 2020] 16
Tommy- April 9, 2004 (19) – [July 4, 2020] 16
They are all babies confirmed... things make so much more sense... brain development guys it's important ;)
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