#this hurts even more now

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[skunkes]

#IM SO DRUNK @ THISTLE THISTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #a doodley #OK SLEEP NOW im giving myself a headache thinking abt him #thje glimpse we get of him in the opening is enough to make me want to jump out a window im not gonna make it. #alsofd this is making me think of when i posted my yearly redraws and someone in the tags put like #''how does it feel to have had every art style'' #afn like literally. i just cant go full lineless/painting bc ilove lines too much but i can do Dis #too many ways to draw #anywhay i just talked abt how im not a fanart person bt i want to draw him so bad. i love him #he's my favorite character in the series #even more so now that its Done and Cohesive. it hurts so bad i understand him i do

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

"See you tomorrow"

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]

#better drawn mdzs #MDZS Disco Elysium AU #mdzs au #Lan wangji #wei wuxian #yiling laozu #Happy Belated Halloween! #digital art #Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone. #I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen. #Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture. #Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now #Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen. #The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers. #My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene. #The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined. #It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change - #You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time #You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts- #You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember. #WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.

[introspectivememories]

the funniest possible thing that could happen is if mercedes keeps hiring childhood best friends for their team and everybody's holding their breath waiting for them to tear each other apart like brocedes except it doesn't happen bc everyone else is normal about each other and brocedes is just that fucked up that they would've torn each other apart even if they were on different teams

#i like to think that in this hc both nico and lewis were waiting for the new team to tear each other apart just so they could feel like what #happened to them was an inevitability. except the new team doesn't tear each other apart and now they have to deal with the fact it was #their faults. not competing for the championship or the stress of being on the same team but just them. ripping each other apart for even #the slightest advantage. just them digging their fingers into the rotting carcass of their childhood friendship to hit each other where it #hurts. just them cannibalizing their childhood dream for even the most miniscule chance of beating each other. and what do you do then? #when the reason your friendship fell apart is bc you two couldn't put each other before the trophy? and what do you do when you know that #you wouldn't be you if you chose each other? what then? maybe it was inevitable. maybe it was fate. #auugh i love the inevitability of tragedies!!! this all came bc ppl kept saying that albon in merc would be brocedes 2.0 and like no!!! no #will ever be brocedes 2!!! nobody has the drama or the ethos/pathos/logos to be brocedes 2.0!! you dont have the frosties or the dreams or #greece!!! you dont have greece!!! and more importantly!!! nico and lewis were /weird/ about each other!!! no 1 else on this grid is weird #about each other the way nico and lewis were/are!!! nobody else is obsessed with each other the way they were!!! #anyway breakdown over #nico rosberg #lewis hamilton #brocedes #f1

[adhd-merlin]

morgana is so funny, she needed gwen out of the way, she literally could have just killed her, instead she went: "first of all I'm going to resurrect her old lover,"

#like I'm no necromancy expert but #that sounds like something that would take *considerably* more effort than just killing her yk? #I'm not even going to address the kidnapping in ep 5x06 #(but srsly even the fact that when she got on the throne in S3 #she intended to keep gwen as her maid #and she was like “now we can be besties again :) isn't it wonderful? :))” #and she was genuinely hurt when gwen “betrayed” her and escaped #like... gurl.) #gwen and morgana #morgana pendragon #*

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this. #wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it... #some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself... #maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts. #orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little. #certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'. #i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

[crybaby-bkg]

cw: pregnancy, kids (you guys have a daughter together), fwb’s, angst with a bit of a hopeful ending, refers to you as ‘girl’ once

Friends with benefits Bakugou who never really got over his ego to fully commit to you. You’re a little ashamed to admit it, but when you fell pregnant, you thought that things would change. That the whole “no feelings” aspect would’ve been dropped, that he would’ve embraced you fully.

But he just…didn’t? If anything, he distanced himself away from you, became so formal like you were another coworker he would address. It was heartbreaking, going through your first pregnancy feeling so, so alone, but having to grin and bear it the whole way through.

He supported you though in every way that he could. He never missed an appointment, would trek to your house during late nights whenever you craved something. He even moved you in to his own apartment during your last trimester, but a couple months after your baby was born, you went back home. You never felt unwelcome, but you couldn’t pretend to be a happy family when he slept in the guest room every night.

So now, you coparent quite easily. At least, it seems easy to Bakugou, but really, it’s all a facade.

In all honesty? He thinks he’s a fuck up. An idiot. The stupidest, shittiest person who’s ever existed.

He thought what he was doing was enough, that the words he didn’t say carried across oceans, formulated into titles that he never verbalized. So when you told him you would be happy to coparent, his world felt upended suddenly, as he holds his tiny little baby girl in his arms.

Coparent? How could a couple coparent? Where did he go wrong? (He only slept in the guest room to give you and baby space, only moved you in late because you lived so far away and you were getting so big. He never said I love you because he was too embarrassed to say it out loud. He didn’t know he had to say it out loud to solidify it. He thought you just knew.)

So it’s why his heart breaks when he catches a glimpse of curly blond hair and red eyes in the grocery store. He tries to duck behind an aisle, but his baby would recognize him anywhere. (It’s true; you’ve sent many videos of her recognizing him on billboards and tv commercials and magazines.)

“Bakugou?” You call, ducking around the corner to catch a glimpse of him. He tries to act nonchalant like he’s looking at cans of soup, tries not to cringe at your formal name. He turns when you come into view, eyes drinking in your attire. His heart breaks a little when he recognizes the shirt you took in your second trimester, still has the pic you sent him of you grinning as you show off what you stole.

“Hey.” Bakugou greets gruffly, mouth pulled tight, but it cracks into a grin when his daughter starts squealing. She’s in the front part of the shopping cart, twisting her little chunky body to get out and get to him. She damn near screams when he sets his basket down to pick her up, rubbing his nose to hers.

“How ya doing, squirt?” He asks quietly, pecking at her chubby cheeks as she instantly starts babbling to him. He holds her close to his chest, eyes full of pure love for his baby girl, and it makes your heart squeeze so tight you think it might burst.

“This isn’t your neck of the woods.” You mutter, head tilting to the side as you take in your daughters excited face to see her father. Bakugou’s eyes snap to your own, letting his daughter play with his fingers in the meanwhile. He looks embarrassed, cheeks a dusty pink as he grumbles and looks away.

“I was just picking up some stuff to drop off for her. Was gonna text you and see if you were home,” he replies, and something tells you that it’s a lie. But you don’t pester him about it, just nod a few times, taking in the sight.

He looks so good like that, in his compression shirt and sweats, his hair mussed from your daughters incessant pulling. He’s grinning at her, but looks so bashful when he turns to you, like he’s thinking about things he knows he shouldn’t, like he has a boatload to say but can’t cough up.

And if you were a mind reader, you’d be so fucking right. He can’t help but reminisce on before you got pregnant, the nights spent with you. The day you told him you were having a girl, the tears you cried when you delivered her. He thinks, filled with so much guilt the entire time, that he wants another one. With you.

“‘S it okay if I walk my favorite girls home?” He asks you gruffly, nibbling on your daughters cheeks to hear her giggle again, uncaring of the drool she leaves on his hand. You feel your eyes widen at his term for you, face suddenly flushing. Favorite? You, his favorite?

Something tells you that you shouldn’t fall down the rabbit hole that is Bakugou Katsuki and his suppressed emotions and shitty ego. But there’s another something that tells you to trust it this time, to let things happen organically and without expectation. So you do.

“I’m sure she would love to show her daddy the new toy her grandma just brought her.” You tell him, giggling when he rolls his eyes at the mention of his mother. But he walks with you the entire time you finish up your grocery order, holding your daughter the whole time and pays for your groceries despite repeatedly telling him that he doesn’t have to.

He pushes her in the stroller stored underneath the shopping cart on the way home, making small conversation. And when you’re halfway home, does he reach for your hand. Only to cross the cross walk though, he tells himself, only for your protection. But he doesn’t let go until you’re in your own place, and even then, he’s close by the entire time. He helps you put away groceries, remembers where everything is like he lives here.

And for some reason, the familiarity makes your heart ache a little more than you would like it to.

#full of sadness tonight srry #but I’m obsessed with this idea actually #I wanna expand on it even more in a fic #I don’t like to write angst for him but this idea is just :( #he’s so shitty at communicating his feelings and you hate assuming things #so many things are just left unsaid for so long that you just force yourself to get over it and move on #and he’s so confused and so angry that you could leave him like that #but he never had you in the first place now did he? #ohh it makes me wanna sob #obviously in the end you get back together and have 98 more kids 🙄 #but the journey along the way is RUFF #okay I’m done writing my wrist hurts lol #bakugou treats! 🍬 #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #dad bkg

[dimeadozencows]

I have endured what no one on earth has ever done before

I put my lips to the hands of the man who killed my son

#deltarune #gaster #deltarune player #i love still headcanoning gaster as sans and papyrus's dad despite knowing that he saw everything that happened in undertale (including #the no mercy route) and seeing how friendly he is with us in deltarune #you would think he'd hate us and want do nothing to do with us or to hurt us but. he wants to create a new future with us. #he thinks that our search for him is a wonderful thing. he thinks we created a wonderful form. hes thankful for our time. #knowing this while still believing he's the father of characters we've killed makes him such an interesting character #we know he's tied to undertale so regardless of if he's actually their dad or not we have hurt people he knows #and he still treats us with so much care #i love this guy. i wanna know him already #this was fully inspired by a gorgeous drawing by WolfyTheWitch on twitter #of. actual priam jskdjdk #this was drawn using my poor poor pilot pens during classes over three days. i need to buy new ones now lol #i need to use this technique more often #its super time consuming but it looks so cool. and the paper has such an interesting texture now :]]] #i also LOVE drawing gasters hands all melting and barely even like hands #and brown paper packages tied up with string #my art #*i edited this a bit in digital i forgot to mention that gdjdjfk

[onaperduamedee]

Moiraine and Rand, alone again, naturally - 1x08 || 2x06

#The Wheel of Time #wot show spoilers #wotedit #wot on prime #moiraine damodred #rand al'Thor #wot s2 spoilers #wot season 2 spoilers #wheel of time s2 spoilers #wheel of time season 2 spoilers #mygifs: wot #you're a cool one #never not feral about them and all the parallels between them #it makes me so sad that yet again the both of them are going into this finale thinking they are better off without their friends #at some point someone will have to gently shake them and tell them they matter outside of how they can serve others #but hey today's not the day and I feel such a sad bean about them #what hurts the most with Moiraine is that she's so convinced there is no point in trying to make herself more palatable for others #she might burn everything and everyone as long as she can accomplish her purpose #and now she can't even do that #to say I'm worried about her is putting it mildly #Rand at least is drawn toward his friends because it makes him feel good still #light you can see the relief with Mat and the disappointment when Mat didn't turn up #Moiraine's just like 'I don't deserve anything good ever again' #although the Barty convo is a step in the right direction

[personishfive]

in which ann takamaki is there

#joker p5 #ann takamaki #goro akechi #shuann #shuake #morgana #persona 5 #my art #i probably dont have to tag the supporting cast right...? #sorry for 5 comics(slash images) at once...i considered spliting into posts but theyre the same theme.at least #(the theme is ann <3 shes my second favorite p5 character. by the way) #make sure to click to expand!! or youre missing like. whole comics. lol #did all this in one session now my arm hurts X.X but well. persona 5 is a video game <3 #ALSO I REALIZE THESE R SLIGHTLY MORE NICHE EVEN COMPARED TO MY USUAL. SO. ENJOY THAT! LOL! #welcome to my twisted mind. #also sorry for the blatant sentimentality in this gomicpost. i wish i could say it wont happen again. but well. sigh. #also im prettyyy sure one of these is partially inspired by a convo i had with my bro? so uh. credit to him i guess! heart emoji. #also. sorry that i keep saying this but thanks for all the love in the tags of my gomics. it kind of makes my day so incredibly hard. <3. #ok bye #comics

[jesuis-snips]

LIES: Palestine is murdering civilians.

TRUTH: Palestine is expelling occupiers.

LIES: Palestine is attacking Israel.

TRUTH: Palestine is standing upon its rights in its own lands.

LIES: Hamas is giving Israel reasons to attack them.

TRUTH: Israel has already been attacking Palestinians without a reason for years. Every resistance counts and weakens Israel.

LIES: Israel is the victim.

TRUTH: Israel is suffering for its sins for the innocent children they have killed.

#free palestine #palestine #and here we are seeing hypocrite peoples posts and how Palestinians are wrong and terrorists #do you even know what you are talking about do you even know the history of these lands #i am sure that you don't bc if you did you wouldn't even dare to open your dirty mouth #it is very tragic how the whole world was playin 3 monkeys when israel was attacking and bombing and killing and raping Palestinians #none of you gave a shit #none of you said a word #ever since i know myself there was pain and blood and tears in Palestine #and the couse was always isarael #ever since i was a kid i protested israel in meetings and press briefings #i have seen the pain of my muslim sisters and brothers i have heard their screams for help #and now this shameless people coming here and saying Palestinians are wrong and they should have picked a more peaceful methods #hah don't make me laugh #what peace are you talking about #whose peace would be a better question actually #why is it okay when muslims are hurting and wrong when others are???? #there is hell for israel #it is the only place they can go after all #the bottom of the hell

[ofmd-ann]

Oof when your biggest coping mechanism becomes painful

#my mental health is taking a nosedive right now #i dont think its even fully registered in my brain yet #mental illness innit #this hurts more than last time

[beaulesbian]

It's time to rewrite this story.

#nimona #nimonaedit #nimona movie #ballister boldheart #ballister blackheart #ambrosius goldenloin #nimona netflix #mine #gif:nimona #netflixedit #nimona spoilers #you know how that little girl is there multiple times shes so important #bc thats the thing nimona really cant stand to see - someone so young turned against her already #bc that view on others can be changed and manipulated just like it happened with gloreth #and even after 1000 years nimona wanted to just burn and destroy things in the beginning with her plan #but she was hurt and betrayed again and sadly turned it all inwards at herself.. until ballister reached her #and then actually rewrote her story! the narrative that told everyone shes a monster she took it and changed it and ppl saw her as nimona! #the parallels are just insane in this movie i still have some thoughts #sorry rlly kinda like that i can post more than 10gifs now that i have to have the new editor #long post

[ganondoodle]

i have grown kinda tired of all the studio ghibli and totk comparisons bc i love most of miyazakis movies and its so annoyingly obvious that if totk actually took inspiration from them its all just the surface level aesthetic and none of the good story telling

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #like yeah i see how ashitakas arm and how he got it hurt looks similar to how link “”“”“loses”“”“” his arm in totk #but ashitakas wound is a curse of hatred from a deity that protected their forest from humans destroying it to get to the iron in the earth #and the deity - whos a BOAR- got wounded so badly the pain and fear of death turned him into a demon of hatred #while the poeple wanting the iron are also just doing it for their own survival #like man i fukcing WISH totk had any of the storytelling that princess mononoke had #them seemingly jsut taking the aesthetic from it but none of the story is even more infuriating to me tbh #princess mononoke is one of my all time favorite movies #maybe thats another reason why im so disgruntled about totk #bc it reminds me of things i love -zelda and mononoke- and turning it both bad #before the game was out the comparisons from link to ashitaka was pretty much in every second theory video #abd even then i was skeptical bc i doubted they could make in any way a story as good as that #welp :)))) #anyway #old man yells at cloud lol #(this is not directed at anyone directly btw- i just keep running into even now and been feeling this way for a long time- )

[sharkdays]

"That despite having experienced inhuman suffering, she has nonetheless been able to gain the strength to face life."

#collei #genshin impact #gi #erm. hi #something not pokemon related for once? shocker i know #anywas this was a collei piece i did a while ago that i never finished #been having Emotions abt her recently and i wanted to share even if it's a little messy... #anyways. she makes me insane. #also yes the flowers have meanings it was Intentional. however my drawing skills for nature and memory are both not all there so. #take it as you will #anyways collei i love you girl... #shes a physical manifestation of death and rebirth she's resurrection do YOU SEE MY VISION #also i miss you short haired collei but her hairstyle rn is cute too... #my collei design in my head has changed so much lmao. i tried making her a little more matching to how she is in my head now #thinking abt her growth and learning as a form of defiance. reclaiming her life.... #she refused to die!!!!! and now she's hurting but alive!!! im gonna pass out dont look at me. #i am not nearly as good as putting my thoughts into words as some other collei enthusiasts so Just Trust Me #shark's scribbles