#this fic is pretty boring ngl

[qprstobin]

I'm gonna be frank, Eddie just does not give me the impression that he was bullied all that much in high school to me. Especially as he got older, like he was the school drug dealer, he was not getting beat up by the same jocks who were going to be buying from him later that week. It just doesn't make sense to me!

I'm not saying he was never bullied at all (personally I think he was probably bullied by the people in his grade in like middle school, but leant more into the satanic image by the time he got to high school (which is when the satanic panic wouldve been starting) and people became more afraid to mess with him or it stopped when BS started dealing) or that people can't headcanon and project onto pm. It's fandom, do what you want lol. I've just gotten to the point where fics lose me whenever they claim Tommy/Steve/Jason was going around beating the shit out of him or shoving him in the halls every week or the like. Eddie just does not give the impression that he is scared of the jocks normally. He looks down on them and thinks he's better than them! He taunts them openly in front of everyone and pontificates on table tops.

I think if you take it in that context too, it makes the town turning on him more sinister? Like obviously, satanic panic was only growing at that point, and it was within the last year or two they started pointing at metal and D&D as recruiting centers for satanic cults. (Eddie also like an asshole is walking around with a satanic symbol on his jacket - peak edgy teen in the middle of a moral outcry.) But while people might've been afraid of him, and most definitely talked about him behind his back, that's worlds away from mob violence. The change was startling, even if Eddie might be able to see it on the horizon.

Idk to me that's more of what the hunt the freak line was about. The knowledge that they could turn on you and would if you gave them a reason (or if you want to go with the Eddie is closeted interpretation - if he got outed). I think he probably has been called the freak for a while but honestly I think he's proud of it at this point.

Obviously all of this is up to interpretation, I guess I've just gotten to the point where a lot of the popular fanon interpretation doesn't feel like Eddie to me anymore

#eddie munson #st meta #fandom wank #i guess #also like i said if you interpret it that way like i do think eddie is queer (bi specifically) but like lol not really the point of the post #also i just know someone eventually is gonna call me a tommy apologist #like lol nah i just think tommy is too much of a pussy to beat someone up #that boy has not punched someone in his life #also ngl uncomfortable ghat its a constant point of contention in steddie fics that steve or steves friends used to bully eddie #like no i dont want that in my ship fic #eddie #also i just want a more confident eddie #one who has had shit happen to him and is pretty fucking weird but owns it #and isnt a sad boy who is constantly beat up all the time #thats boring!

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

Red Flagged (Mouse series) - Max Verstappen

Summary: Max gets bored in a red flag and finds mouse is the perfect person to kill time with

Themes: Smut (fingering), public sex (kind of)

Ngl wasn't sure if I would ever write smut for this series, but I figured this was pretty mild and sort of fit what I think works for their dynamic. Also Max didn't actually drive during this red flag on testing day 3, but we're going to pretend her did for the sake of the fic

The red flag during testing was a joke by any means of the imagination. Given that it's the second time they've found themselves at the mercy of drains just during testing but after Las Vegas with Carlos, no one can be too cautious and Charles already had to have the floor changed after it got damaged when he ran over it.

"Where's mouse?" Max questions since his girlfriend has been keeping herself very hidden away. Returning to the season after months of just the two of them, it was taking an adjustment period.

"Your guess is as good as mine." Rupert, his new trainer, states making Max look around.

If she's around she's not on this side of the garage and with the other side unused she might be using it to give herself some air.

But it doesn't take long to discover that isn't where she situated herself. So he goes around looking for her with very little luck.

"I saw y/n go up to the paddock club lounge." Lando states as Max catches him and asks if he has happened to see the young woman.

"Oh, thanks mate." Max smiles giving him a quick pat on the shoulder before he jogs off knowing that maybe he should've thought to check in the places at aren't in use by even those in the paddock.

When he gets up there, he searches around before finding her out on the balcony that overlooks the pit lane. Legs crossed and body tipped forward as if she's awaiting the appearance of the cars.

"Mouse." He states watching her whole body jump, even sitting down she managed to get herself airborne which he can't help but grin at. "Sorry, I thought you heard me."

She remains quiet, more silent than ever recently while he sits down behind her and smiles when she leans back onto his chest.

"No one is out on track." Y/n whispers almost so quiet that Max almost doesn't heart her.

"Red flag, a drain came up again." Max states gently playing with the hem of her dress then smoothing it over while she shivers a little over his touch. "Thought I'd lost you for the whole day when I couldn't track you down."

"How did you find me?" Y/n murmurs before he grins at her, not that she can even see it.

"Lando spotted you coming up here." Max smiles then gently wrapping his arms up around her ribs to hug her closer. "Do you think you'd be able to drop me a message next time you hide yourself away?"

"Sorry."

"It's ok, mouse." Max assures her softly feeling her relax a little on him.

Y/n leans her head back onto his shoulder sighing as she looks around, not noticing Max's creeping hand gently pushing her dress up exposing her thigh to the gently breeze.

"You know, there is some time to kill before the red flag ends." Max hums as she finally feels his hand trailing under the skirt of her dress.

"Max-"

"You're going to have to be a bit quieter, mouse." Max whispers as his fingers brush the flimsy lace, her twitching and quivering under even that fine touch. "Want me to stop?"

Y/n whimpers when he gently presses a little more against the quickly dampening material.

"I need an answer, mouse."

"No."

If they weren't so exposed and he didn't know he was pushing her so far out her comfort zone, then he might insist on pushing for more words from her. But he's not going to waste time.

Unlike most, y/n doesn't actually struggle to keep quiet though her methods aren't exactly conventional. Holding her breath and biting her tongue, maybes a squeak or the breathiest whisper of moans escape when she finally lets herself breathe again.

By the time he's pushed her underwear aside, she's slick and pushing a finger into her meets no resistance. Though he can tell she's tight from nerves. After all exhibitionism hasn't exactly been an area they've spanned into.

"Max." Y/n whines when he presses onto her clit, moving in patterns while her body begins to feel impossibly hot.

Bahrain is already a warm place but it's certainly feeling scorching under Max's touch at the moment. Her hand moves up to grip his racing suit, her fist latched onto the material. Teeth catching her lip and her body pressing back into him more.

"That's it, mouse." Max whispers, the praise being enough to nudge her ever so closer to orgasms. "You are doing so well mouse."

His other hand rests on her stomach as he hears her quiet pants stop, her breath held for a dizzying time before her back arches away from him while he shoulders press harder against him and her legs shift up to clamp her thighs together as she clenched around his fingers, trembling time she lets out a gasping breath.

Her frigid body slowly begins to relax till she's heavy against him again, still panting slightly uneveningly.

"Alright, mouse." Max soothes not having quite removed his hand quite yet. "Are you ok?"

Y/n pants closing her eyes and scrunch up her face as if she isn't sure whether she is ok or not.

"Mouse?"

"I'm ok." She whispers, though it's more like she just exhaled and moved her lips. Hardly even using her voice to form the words.

Max does ease his fingers from her, feeling her twitch from the movement before he raises his fingers up to his mouth and licks the residue clean from his skin.

"My skirt is wet." Y/n murmurs sounding both horrified and on the verge of tears.

"It's alright. I'll bring you something clean to wear." Max promises rubbing her stomach from where his free hand was still resting. "Don't worry, no one saw us, mouse. You don't need to panic."

Y/n finally turns to look at Max and sighs lightly when he leans forward pecking a kiss onto her lips.

"I think the red flag might be over. Are you happy to wait up here and watch the rest of testing till I can bring something clean?"

"Yeah, I'm ok up here." Y/n nods earning herself another kiss but he can feel the scalding temperature of her skin, both newly flustered and still hot from her very public orgasm.

"We should do something like that again." Max smirks earning a look from the quiet woman. "But maybe I'll give you recovery time to process it."

Y/n only manages a light hum of consideration but she doesn't comment on the idea. Instead just accept another kiss before he squeezes her in an impossibly tight hug.

"I love you, mouse."

"I love you too." Y/n smiles face still hot as he kisses the top of her head then finally stands up and moves off to get back down to the garage.

Taglist: @namgification @hiireadstuff @jsjcue @geniusalpaca @itsjustkhaos

#f1 #fanfic #formula 1 #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen #max verstappen smut #max verstappen fic #bahrain testing 2024 #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen f1 #max verstappen fluff #mv1 fanfic #mv1 #mv1 x reader #mv1 imagine #mv1 fic #mv33 #mv1 x you #mv1 smut #mv1 x y/n #vetstappen #mouse series #mv33 x y/n #mv33 x reader #mv33 imagine #mv33 fic #mv33 x you #mv33 smut #f1 smut #f1 fanfic

[lovdlydaz]

how they react when they see you in your uniform

afab!reader, you play volleyball and you just got home from a game

warnings: nsfw, cunnilingus, praise, degradation, musk kink, man just a lot of sex ngl

a/n: i've been wanting to try drabbles for a while, but i'll come out with fics soon. it'll be drabbles when i'm unmotivated, and fics when i am. hope y'all are okay with that ♡.

oikawa

♡ ————————♡

when you came home off your bus, you weren’t expecting your boyfriend to be on the couch, watching your game on the T.V. he was drooling over the way those spandex hugged your ass and thighs so well, how your ponytail swayed as you went to pass the ball. your body rolled so fluidly, making his cock harden because of how good you played his sport. so, when you came into the room he jumped, then his pupils blew with lust. you were in those same spandex, just in a jacket. he stood up and grabbed you, taking you into your shared room and throwing you onto the bed. his cock was hard as fuck, those shorts he was wearing didn’t really hide much. “you looked so pretty out there babe, i'm sorry i couldn’t come watch you play but you did so good,” he praised you as he pounded into your seeping pussy, eyes rolled back into your head whenever his tip kissed your cervix. you were definitely enjoying yourself, and he kept praising you until he finished. however, when you were both in bed cuddling he would go into your ear and whisper "but i'm better." needless to say, he got a one-way ticket to the couch that night.

ushijima

♡ ————————♡

it was a rough day at practice today. your team had fucked up hard at one of the many national games y'all played, but yesterday wasn't that great. you had fucked up your serves multiple times, had hit the ball into the net god knows how many times, and your hits kept going out. it was horrendous how you barely got to touch a ball today, and your exhausted expression showed when you got home from your car. your lovely boyfriend, who just so happened to be doing his nightly workout, was in the middle of his 6 x 10 reps of pushups when you walked in. he continued to do them, a small 'hey' escaping his lips before he heard an exasperated sigh leave your lips. he heard stuff being thrown on the couch then a flop, quickly hoping up from his little corner in the living room and walking to you. though, when he was about to speak he stopped, seeing you all sweaty and still in your uniform. he felt his heart throb, or what he thought was his heart. but then, he looked down, seeing his rock hard cock and blushing. you opened your eyes to see your large boyfriend looming over you, then feeling something poke you. you looked down to see his even larger cock poking out from his shorts, making you blush as well. let's just say that your spandex, jersey, and entire body was covered in cum that night. and you didn't regret a thing. <3

bokuto

♡ ————————♡

see, you and bo had this sorta complicated relationship. sure you were the sub in bed but bokuto acted as a sort of sub top, whining and whimpering your name whenever he was balls deep inside your pussy. and today was the same as always. you had gotten home from practice, a tired sigh leaving your lips until your beefy boyfriend latched onto you like a leech to skin. "i'm so glad you're home baby! how was practice? did you do good??" he asked like a bright puppy, you could visibly see his tail wagging. you giggled and ran your fingers through his hair, nodding your head and smiling. "yes bo, i had a great practice. how have you been? did you have practice today?" you asked, but then you felt something poking you, and then you felt hungry eyes boring down onto you. koutarou had gone quiet, and he had gotten hard too. it was the way those spandex curved around your waist, your hips and thighs were squeezed through the flexible fabric. you were picked up by your legs and carried into the bedroom, thrown down like a ragdoll before the spandex were ripped off you. his face was shoved into your heat for hours, not letting up until you had passed out. when you did he got himself off from your passed out form, then cleaned you both up and went to bed. just so you know, you were wearing your jersey home almost every day after that. <3

daichi

♡ ————————♡

today was the day of the big game, the biggest of your season actually. so, you had gotten up bright and early to start your day. you took a shower and got dressed, yet your boyfriend who was your #1 supporter and best volleyball coach was there cooking in the kitchen for you. "hey babe, ready to go?" he asked, then he paused. you were sliding your jersey on, tucking it in your spandex and your thighs jiggled as you did so. "yeah, gimme a sec—" and now you were against the wall, getting your brains fucked out of you right before your game. "fuck babe... couldn't resist myself with those pretty thighs of yours..." he whispered into your ear, instantly making you orgasm. he wasn't short after, messing up your insides and causing white to leak from you. you didn't have time to get cleaned up, so when you both got into the car you could feel his cum leaking out of you, which made you blush. let's just say you had a great game, and an ever greater fuck when you got home.

kita

♡ ————————♡

you had had a great day today. your team was playing the best they ever had and it was visibly cheering you up. though, when you got home your boyfriend was cleaning the counter off, seeing your tired yet happy form walk into the house. "hello sweetheart, how was it?" he chirped happily, but his eyes were staring straight at your pretty legs and formidable ass. your uniform looked so pretty on you, and your bust was even tighter in that jersey. he finished wiping off the counter as you told him your day, pressing you into a kiss when you finished speaking. his hands travelled to your thighs and you whined, those were your most sensitive areas. the sex was on the couch, bodies pressed together as you both were feral for each other. kita more than you, but y'know. the sun came up, and you both weren't even close to done. <3

kuroo

♡ ————————♡

your multi-million dollar boyfriend wasn't able to make it to your game. he had tried so hard but he was so busy, yet you didn't mind it. you knew how much he loved you, he showed it to you every day. so, when you were driven home by your personal taxi driver which kuroo also so happened to get for you for your birthday last year, he was sitting in the T.V. room, streaming your game. you were the libero, and he was admiring the way your body moved so nicely to get the ball in the air. hearing you come in he jumped, but then chuckled when he realized it was you. "oh, hey babe," he sputtered with a deep voice, but then his eyes travelled. the way your hair stuck to your forehead, how tight that jersey was and how even tighter those spandex were. he couldn't control himself, and now you were on the bed in doggy position as he rammed his thick cock into your cervix. "this pussy grips around my cock so good... such a slutty player aren't you? wearing those tight ass spandex... fuck, baby you make me go insane..." he murmured all sorts of things to you before you both orgasmed at the same time, making it heavenly bliss for you especially. after that, he got you both cleaned up, but you passed out in his arms before you even touched the bathtub. <3

© gg 2023. dividers were made by me. do not steal, use, or repost my work without my consent. reblogging/interaction is welcomed.

#haikyu x reader #drabble #female reader #afab reader #haikyu smut #haikyu x y/n #bokuto koutarou #daichi sawamura #kuroo tetsurou #ushijima wakatoshi #kita shinsuke #oikawa toru #bokuto x reader #daichi x reader #ushijima x reader #kita x reader #oikawa x reader #kuroo x reader

[spctrsgf]

mi luz

based off of this comment i wrote on tiktok: “he looks like he could use a hug and a shoulder to cry on.”

word count: 2.2k

warnings: nonspidey!reader, language, hurt to comfort fic (miguel needs a break. like a sabbatical or something)

a/n: ngl, i'm not too happy with how this turned out, probably because i wrote it all on a plane and it's not beta read, but i need more soft miguel fics in my life!!!

He’s tired.

He’s tired and he’s missing you. The boring, monotonous walls of his office harshly remind him of his place, the jubilant orange glow of his monitors tell him of just how much more work he’s got left before he can finally retire to your world.

Lyla, lounging atop one of his screens, watches him and his glossed over eyes, knowing exactly what the lazy flick of his fingers meant. She sighs, glitching over to bring one of his screens forward. “Miguel!” She yells, scaring the poor man out of his thoughts and momentarily extending his claws. “Lyla, what the fu- what the hell?” He growls, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“No kids are here, you don’t have to keep it PG.”

“Whatever.”

“Look, you got work to do, and if you don’t finish it soon, it'll be too late to get in some quality time with this lovely human,” she shoves the digitized photo of you up and into his face. “Before your next mission.”

He sighs, knowing she was right.

“Daydreaming about it isn’t gonna get you there any quicker,” she flickers to be right in front of his face, slapping a hand onto his nose as if she could actually touch him. “GET YOUR SHIT DONE.”

“Fine, fine! Get out of my face.” He grumbles the second sentence, swatting her away and strolling back up to his screens. His eyes catch on your photo, and he reaches to enlarge it in front of him, but—

“No,” Lyla dissipates the photo before he can even get to it, face twisted in disappointment. “No. Not until you finish working.”

“Hey! Who’s the boss here?” 

“Me. Now work.” Lyla glitches out of view with a triumphant huff.

He huffs dramatically, pouting as he pulls himself together. He lets his emotions drop from his face and slides into his stoic mask, resuming the work on his screen. It’s hypnotizing as soon as he gets into it; Lyla must’ve done something to keep him focused, he supposes. She always does have a trick up her sleeve.

In what feels like no time at all, he’s done with his work. With a final, defiant tap to close down his screens, he spins on his heel, ready to leave and go home. Ready to hop in through your window— as much as you hate when he does that— and rest his head atop yours, caging you into where you’re surely stirring something on the stove.

But as he turns, he’s face to face with none other than Hobart Brown. A look to the left reveals his partners in crime; and Miguel knows he’s in for a ride. At least a ten minute detour, as it always is with the four of them. 

“What?” His hands come to rest on his hips naturally, trying to become bigger to them as if it would make the next words out of their mouth more blunt and less angering. “We have a slight problem—” Gwen starts, before Pav butts in.

“It's not slight. It’s a pretty big deal!”

“Mate,” Hobie huffs. “That’s not helpful.”

“I’m trying my best!”

"Yeah, and that's going great-"

“Okay, stop it, all of you,” Miguel interrupts before they can go down the rabbit hole, trying to keep his already strung thin patience steady. “What’s going on?”

“There’s another fight going on.” Hobie gives the answer blunt, to Miguel’s satisfaction.

“Cafeteria?”

“Main hall. Sector D.”

The huff that erupts from his lips draws a colorful picture of his current emotions as he hops off of his elevated platform. “I’ll fix it.”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Miles brings himself to stand in front of the man. “We’re not gonna hurt anyone, right?”

“I can’t make any promises.” He brushes past the kid, dismissing him with a shake of the head. 

“Miguel. Don’t take your anger out on them–” Gwen tries, but all it gets is his recoil and daunting stalk towards her.

“I will do whatever the–” the swear word is on the tip of his tongue, but he swallows it down. “I will do whatever is needed, but violence is not my first course of action.”

“Please be nice to everyone,” Pav says, peeking over Gwen’s shoulder. “It’s been a long week for all of us too.”

Miguel sighs and brushes past them, saying nothing. He brushes off their words in silent agreement. He didn’t really want to hurt anyone either. 

By the time he reaches where he'd been informed the fight was, there was a mosh pit encircling the brawl, a mass of blue and red and spidermen. He approaches from behind, the tide parting for him as each person registers his presence.

When he meets the pearl in the oyster, the hotheaded spiderman hasn’t noticed him quite yet. He’s got the other spidey— one of the many spiderwomen— beneath him, gnarly fist raised to land another punch. Miguel sighs, grabs the back of the man’s elbow, and dragssss him off.

“Everyone get away now.” His tone squeezes the air out of the room and leaves no room for discussion, not that anyone would dare to object. The spidermen flee the scene before he can even finish his sentence, and by the time he’s turned back to the perpetrators of it all, they’re gone too.

He pinches the bridge of his nose, murmuring a low cálmate under his breath as he moves to regain his bearings. “Lyla,” he waves the said woman near.  “Find those spidermen and remind me to get to them when I come back.” She sputters to focus in front of him, dipping her head in an obliged nod before sputtering off again to wherever she found herself needed. 

Miguel shakes and unclenches the fist he’s made with his free hand and stalks back to his office, rubbing the palm of his hand where his claws had taken purchase amidst anger. 

Sometimes, he regrets putting himself in charge of all of this… shit.

But… he’s the only one who can do it. No one had the vigor, the dedication, the understanding of why and what had to be done to keep the multiverses in line and make sure what happened to him never happened again. 

It’s tiring. It takes his nights and his days and chips at his brain until he’s sure there’s nothing left in the expanse of his head. For someone who appears naturally angry, he’s quite good at keeping all the real anger in.

The downside of this: he bottles it all up. But the bottle isn’t big enough, doesn’t last forever, cracks at the seams, and then shatters in a explosion of tears. It enjoys crumpling him into the floor, loves the way his hands shiver in the cold breeze, shakes him to the core and, for all his confidence, makes him doubt.

Lyla’s only seen him like this once, when he couldn’t get away and instead had to sequester himself into his office, not quite getting to hardwiring her nosy personnel to do something else. 

No, he doesn’t rely on her, as he normally would with other problems. He doesn’t trust her, he doesn’t even trust himself with post breakdown Miguel, no. 

He goes to you.

You. The lovely, kind person he’s had the great privilege of calling his. His love, his support, his everything, or better yet; mi luz. My light. The light at the end of the tunnel, at the end of the world, when he feels like the walls are caving in and there’s really nowhere else to go and nothing more to lose.

You calm him, like you always do. Effortlessly caring, eternally so. Never afraid to give, to let him take and take until he’s stuffed whole. You know little things about him, take the time to learn them. Like where to get his favorite empanadas— much better than the ones in the spidey cafeteria— and that he loves when you press your fingers into his shoulder blades. He loves your massages.

He loves you.

Tapping insistently at the shitty gadget on his wrist, he mindlessly pulls up the coordinates for your dimension. Second nature. He’s walked himself into some obscure corner of the building, but he isn’t processing such mundane things at the moment. He can feel himself slipping, the mask fracturing. He can’t be left alone right now.

You.

The portal is up now, flashing and glitching in an assortment of colors, beckoning him in with its delectable light, like a halo. Miguel wastes no time giving in, diving into the portal and tucking himself tight like a torpedo.

Multiverses zoom by as he glides through hexagons and hexagons, thousands of people in each. Worlds that he keeps steady, safe, perfect. Normally, he’d stop to smell the flowers, observe and appreciate the sereneness of every special home in front of him. Pride himself in the fact that there was a special home for someone to come home to. 

But not this time. No, this time he keeps his eyes screwed shut, he wouldn’t, couldn’t get distracted by the novelty. The bottle is cracking now, cracking into long and sharp spikes aching to slice across his chest. He’s so close, all he could get himself to do was focus on his breaths. In and out, in and out, in and out—

The abrupt warning of your multiverse approaching pinches his wrist, reminding him that this whole mess was very much real. He stumbles into your living room with a not so quiet thud, startling you. You drop the spoon you were stirring something with— smells like some sort of sauce, yum— and whip your head towards him.

He’s got his arms wrapped around you before you can even process that it's him, burying himself in your neck and inhaling the calm scent of you, a mix of your perfume and your detergent, so very you. 

“Miguel.” You sigh into his shoulder, wrapping your arms around his waist as the initial shock of his intrusion wears off. 

He slumps into you, only trusting himself to let out a low grumble of your name. 

“What’s going— oh,” your brain puts two and two together. “Oh, Miguel, shh. It’s okay, I got you.”

And he breaks. Because he knows you mean it. He knows you have him. You always do.

The tears are bubbling over the rims of his eyes and splashing down his cheeks, his hands are twisted up in your loose shirt. He’s sure his claws have made an entrance too. One of your hands reaches to turn off the stove, the other rubbing incandescent patterns into his back. 

You were always so careful. Never leave the stove on, Miggy. Don’t wanna burn the food. He loves that about you.

“Hey,” your voice wisps in through the fog of his mental breakdown, of the end of the world. “Hey. It’s me. Just me. Your absolute favorite person on this planet.”

“Multiverse.” He manages through sob induced hiccups. 

“Multiverse,” You smile, breathing out a soft laugh as you toil him in closer. “Breathe, my love. I have you. Nobody is here but me, and I’m not going anywhere. Promise.”

He nods, lets himself weigh more onto you.

“That’s it, I got you,” you coax. “Get it out of your system.”

He gives all the tears he has to give. He’s sandwiching you between the counter and his stature, but you don’t seem to mind. Your spilling words, mindlessly, talking until he’s done and ready to attach himself to them, the soft baritone of your voice.

And it takes time, but he gets there. He’s in the tunnel, the walls are caving in, he’s believing he's given all he has to give, but you’re there, and you’re telling him no, no you have not. You don’t get to lose, because you have SO much more life to live.

His light.

The tunnel lets up, opens up the walls, lets him bathe in you, in the way your arms are still hooked tight around his waist and you’re going on about how there was a new episode of your favorite show that he had to watch. 

And of course he would watch it.

He’d do anything for you, anything you asked whenever you wanted. And he knows, in turn, that there wasn’t a damn thing in this god forsaken reality that would stop you from doing the same for him.

You tell him as much. To his face, into his hair, with the dance of your fingers on his back, in the way you guide him to the couch, when you place down some food and a cup of water— you just cried out your backup supply— and again when you place yourself down next to him.

“I’m so beyond lucky to have you.” He murmurs to you, some fifteen minutes into the episode of your show, something about this dude with a metal helmet and a green baby? He can’t recall the name.

You turn, a smile gracing your features. “You deserve me. You deserve everything the multiverse has to offer and more. Dunno what I’d do without you.”

“You’d have one less person bothering you.”

“Ah, yes,” you laugh, swatting his cheek. “Like you’re such a nuisance.”

He laughs, actually laughs. It’s nice.

You tilt your head onto the girth of his shoulder, snuggling in tight as your attention is again sucked into the screen.

He smiles dazedly at you, finally feeling at peace.

Mi luz. My light.

is anyone else still obsessed with him or is that just me

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara imagine #miguel o'hara x you #miguel ohara fluff #oscar isaac #oscar issac characters #oscar issac x you #oscar issac x reader #oscar issac imagine #spiderman: across the spiderverse #across the spider verse

[meo-on-prairie]

Amor

Getou Suguru x Reader

Prompt: “Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? // With every guitar string scar on my hand // I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover” - Lover (Taylor Swift)

Words Count:1.3k

Tags: Suguru x reader, AU, Fluff, pure fluff and good time.

Rambling: Back with my Swiftie agenda. This fic wrote itself ngl, I planned something completely different idk how I got here. Life has been putting me through the meat grinder so I’m writing fluffy fanfic to cope.

“We need to take down the Christmas light.” Suguru brought up while you two are washing the dishes after dinner. 

“Yeah we should. Or… we can keep leaving it up for another month.” 

Suguru pauses and gives you a pointed look, “Hun, it’s already April.”

“Exactly. We already procrastinated to this point, might as well procrastinate all the way. If we never take it down, we won’t have to put it back up in December.” you pointed out. 

You just find it’s useless to take it down. Not like you guys have it plugged in so you're not wasting any electricity, they're just there. There is no reason to waste time to put it up and take it back down every year. 

“You’re unbelievable” Suguru chuckled 

“Thank you, my genius knows no bounds.” you joke as you hand him another plate to dry.

He leans down to kiss your temple, “You’re lucky I love you.”

“I know,” you said smugly “I love you too.”

After you finish with the dishes, the two of you decide to watch a movie before going to bed. You cuddle up to Suguru. You enjoy this little routine you two have. You both wake up an hour earlier than you need to cuddle with each other, you eat breakfast together before going to work. If possible, you two would have lunch together. Suguru would cook dinner, you would wash the dishes and he insisted on drying them. Then you would spend the night doing things together or doing your own things while being in the same room. It’s a mundane and boring cycle, but to you, it’s anything but boring.

You always thought that love is all about butterflies in your stomach, heart racing, excitement, going on dates to fancy restaurants. And yes, those are always fun and lovely. But if you really have to choose, you would choose this mundane life with Suguru over everything.

“Would you like to go on a date with me this weekend?” Suguru asked you out of the blue. 

“Do you even need to ask?”

“It’s a polite thing to do.”

“Well then, Yes. I would love to go on a date with you.” you said with a small laugh. It’s cute, you have spent 3 winters with Suguru, but somehow he always manages to make you feel like you've been with each other for 20 seconds and 20 years.

“Where are we going?” you asked

“It’s a surprise, just dress pretty.” Suguru replied softly, placing a kiss on your hair. 

You hum softly at his response, “How pretty would you like me to be?”

He takes his eyes off the TV and looks down at you. Feeling his gaze, you tilt your head back to look into his eyes. 

“As pretty as you are right now.” Suguru muttered before capturing your lips.

////

You decide to wear a white tube dress you bought a week ago. You love the way this dress looks on you, it shows off all your curves in all the right places. But you’re not the only one that enjoys the way this dress looks on you. 

“It looks lovely on you, but I think it’ll look lovelier when I take it off you.” Suguru whispers in your ears from behind. He has his hands wrapping around your waist, his face buried in the crook of your neck, breathing you in. 

“I bought it so you can take it off.” you hinted, turning your head to kiss the top of his hair. You can feel his smile against your skin.

Suguru reserved a nice Italian restaurant downtown. You’re seated near the window. The dimmed light makes Suguru look extra alluring. The way the light cast over his form brings out all of his best features.

You watch as Suguru pours himself his second glass of wine. The foods you order haven’t come out yet and Suguru is already on his second glass. He’s also oddly quiet, usually he would flirt with you as if it’s a first date. You also noticed that he has his left hand in his pocket this entire time. 

“What’s wrong?” you questioned, “You seem anxious. Did something happen at work?”

“Nothing, Love. you’re just looking so gorgeous it’s making me a little bit nervous.” He replied. You hum in response, deciding not to press it further. He’ll tell you when he’s ready.

////

After dinner, Suguru drove you to what looked like an empty parking lot. 

“Where are we?” 

“You’ll see.”

“This place is both dark and empty, and if movies have taught me anything, this place is a good place to murder someone.” you point out.

“I can’t with you,” he shook his head, laughing a little “come on.”

Suguru opens the door for you and offers you his hand. You take his hand and step out of the car. Your hands intertwine with his as he leads you to this flight of stairs you can't seem to see the end of.

“You’re making me climb these stairs, in this dress?” you lamented.

“I’ll carry you when you get tired, it’s shorter than you think.” Suguru compromised.

“Ugh, you’re lucky I love you.”

“I know.” he acknowledged with pride.

Suguru was right, it’s not as bad as you thought it would be, though it did take the wind out of you. When you reach the top, you can’t help but stop and stare in awe. At the top of the stairs is a small shrine with a few cement benches around the vicinity. This place is at the perfect height where you can overlook the town and see the wide sky at the same time. 

“You like it?”

“Yeah, it’s gorgeous” you breathe out, not taking your eyes off the sky. 

You have never seen so many stars in the sky before. They're glistening and shimmering, as if they are beckoning you toward them. You were so mesmerized you didn't notice how Suguru is kneeling behind you on one knee. A small box in his hand.

“My love?” Suguru called out to you.

“Yes?” you answer, finally taking your eyes off the sky. You turn around to face Suguru, gasping when you see the position he’s in. Tears welling up in your eyes.

“I have been practicing this for weeks, I have about 100 thrown out speeches. No words were strong enough to describe my love for you. Even the word “love” itself falls short. But even if I don’t have the right words, I do know what I want to spend the rest of my days waking up next to you, cooking dinner for you, and falling asleep with you. So will you grant me the greatest honor, of being by your side for the rest of this life and beyond?” he pleaded, voice shaking with every word.

You were crying at this point. Full on sobbing. You can barely see through the tears. You can’t find your voice either. So you nod. Furiously. Before dropping down to his level and throwing yourself around him.

“Hey now, don’t make me drop the ring.” he teased.

You pull away from him, still sobbing. He wipes your tears away with his thumb before taking your hand and slides the ring on you. You can see the reflection of your lips in his eyes.

To Suguru, your lips look like a question begging for an answer, so he answered. He kisses you hungrily, full of relief and sheer joy. He cupped your jaws to deepen the kiss. His lips move against yours like a well practiced tango. He can’t wait to throw out another 100 speeches as he writes his vow to you.  You kiss him back desperately, trying to convey him all your joy and show him how much you love him. Because he was right, the word “love” does fall short. You can taste the wine he's been sipping on during dinner. His liquid courage, you realized. It’s almost unbelievable how much you love this man. You want to go wherever he goes. You want to be with him forever. You would gladly take this magnetic force of a man to be your lover, in this life and the next.

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[changbunnies]

After The Rain With You (18+)

♡ Pairing: Farm Boy!Changbin x Princess!Reader

♡ Genre: royal au, historical au, fluff, initially intended to be light angst but i got carried away with emotion like i did with the minho fic lol, forbidden love (i cannot help myself with this trope it seems), sad / bittersweet ending :') (i'm sorry !!)

♡ Word Count: 13.8k (this was intended to be under 10k but here we are lmao oops)

♡ Summary: Y/N, a princess bored and lonely, craved nothing more than to experience the world outside of the familiar 4 walls of her bedroom in the castle. Conjuring her bravery, she snuck out of the castle walls, eventually meeting a man that would change her life forever; Changbin, a local farmer who didn't realize she's the princess, formed a close relationship with her that ineveitably turned into a budding romance. But now, met with her last moments of freedom, she prepares herself to have one final sweet moment with him before they are torn apart.

♡ Warnings: references to a parent being deceased, discussions of feeling trapped and alone, strict toxic parenting

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): reader is not a virgin during the smut scene in this but it is implied changbin is the only person they've ever had sex with, petnames (sweetheart, darlin', good girl and other gendered language), lots of kissing, marking (including biting), loose dom/sub dynamics, nipple play, oral (f receiving), unprotected piv, multiple orgasms, creampie, pretty self indulgent ngl lol

♡ Notes: i got the title from a short pokemon novel, iykyk. this was intended to be finished before the new year, but instead it's my first fic of 2024 and i hope you enjoy! as always you can read the story on my ao3 here, and if you're interested you can also check out my fic rec and feedback blog @stray-dreams

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

Freedom; something simple in definition, but not in practice, those in high positions of power always holding it out of the reach of those below them who yearn for it. It's intangible in concept, something you will never be able to see with your own eyes or grab with your own hands, but it was something you always yearned for, more than anything- and in the short time you had it, it was pure bliss.

You never considered yourself a rebellious girl, always dutifully listening to your elders, commiting manners and elegance to memory, never questioning the role you'd one day be made to accept. But in the past year, you'd found yourself having a bit of a rebellious streak- in secrecy, of course, because you knew very well that there'd be consequences to pay should she find out.

It's not that you ever hated being the princess, or that you dreaded the responsibility you held to your kingdom- you just wish you'd been given more freedoms. Freedom to speak your mind, freedom to feel the grass beneath your feet and the sun's rays on your skin whenever you wished, freedom to explore, to make mistakes, to learn and grow and love the way everyone else in the world but you seemed allowed to do. 

For years, there'd been a blindspot in the castle's defenses, a small patch of broken wall that guards were never ordered to defend or monitor closely, as the country had not seen war or received threat from neighboring countries in your entire lifetime. "We'll repair it someday," your father always said before his passing, though it never came to fruition. It was not because he passed that the wall never received construction, but simply because your parents always preferred to delegate funds to something more pressing than a relatively small breach in the outer walls of the castle.

Sure, the hole was unsightly when noticed, but it was outside line of sight for the townsfolk, and much too small to accommodate an army through- one person at a time, maybe two if you squeezed, could fit through at most. Apart from that, the fact that your father never used taxes to pay towards selfish things such as unnecessary castle repair gained your family high favor, with most commoners considering your father to be the kindest king the country had in centuries.

During the time your father was still alive, you often walked the streets as a family, talking to the commoners regularly and enjoying your time out on the town together, and you remember how it always felt like you were as normal a family as any other, too young to realize there was any difference between you and them. You can still remember how your mother smiled then, when she held your hand while your father held the other, the townsfolk always doting on you, and how cheerfully your every day had been spent.

Your mother was quite different now; she never smiled anymore, and when she did it felt so.. forced, sad. Like your father took a piece of her joy with him when he went, and she was unable to reclaim it. And it was at that time, when she took on all of the king's responsibilities by herself, that she'd begun to treat you differently. Stricter on your studies, never allowing you to step foot outside the castle, shutting down any talk of letting you out on the town or interacting with anyone outside the castle's walls.

And now the whole kingdom, who considered you to be the country's most beloved princess, could scarcely remember what you looked like; and even those who could remember would likely no longer recognize you. You were a child when you were last allowed outside, and now you were a grown woman, still confined by her mother's strict rules.

Despite the reclusive life you were forced into, many of the commoners still thought of you fondly- at least according to word of mouth from the castle's maids and knights. You were the daughter to a king and queen that were practically revered as saints, and many imagined that the reason you were always holed up within the castle was because you were studying dutifully, imagining that when you came to power someday, you'd be just as benevolent, kind, and intelligent of a ruler as your father was.

You certainly intended to live up to those expectations, because as stated, you don't hate being the princess by any means. You recognize that you have privilege, responsibility, and that people put their pride and faith in you even now, before you've ever even come close to touching the throne. But all that being said, it didn't stop your heart from wanting just a little bit more out of your life.

Simply put, you found it incredibly dull sitting inside the castle all day, the same lessons being reiterated day in and day out, as if you didn't already have them memorized by the age of 10. Eventually, your mother realized you had no further need for a tutor, and requested that the woman in charge of your education stop coming, but that didn't mean your afternoons suddenly became enjoyable; quite the opposite in fact. 

The joy you initially held over no longer having to spend your afternoon listening to the same drivel you'd heard countless times from a pedantic old woman evaporated with the realization that even without a tutor to occupy for time, you'd still be stuck in the castle all day long. Your mother never permitted you to leave, even if you promised you'd stay close to the knights that would accompany you, pleaded with her to let you do something other than sitting inside all day. 

But still, her stance on the matter never changed. You'd begun to resent her sentiments, to hate that you were stuck with nowhere to go and nothing to do. The country wasn't under any threat, your fathers death was an unfortunate accident, and as far as you knew you were well loved, so what did she need to be so protective for? Especially now, when you weren't even a child anymore; you just couldn't understand.

You’d spend your days staring out your window listlessly, wondering what the grass on the horizon would feel like beneath bare feet. It’s a shame that you don’t know; you were always scolded for taking your shoes off if you weren’t within your own room, and besides that, the ground is littered with dirt and cobblestone all the way up to the gates of the town, which you had never gone past. Shouldn’t your youth be full of experiencing things like this? Why couldn’t you explore now and then settle down in the castle later in life? It didn’t feel fair that you were so clueless about the basic truths of the world, and instead had your brain filled to the brim with knowledge of etiquette and politics.

It was with those thoughts in mind that you planned to find the answers to all your questions and sate your endless curiosities by sneaking through the hole in the castle walls that had gone unattended to. After the first time you successfully snuck out to experience all you’d been missing (which took months of diligent watch and preparation to ensure you wouldn’t be spotted from a distance by patrolling knights), you’d slowly made your way further and further away from the castle, testing the limits of how far you could make it each day, gauging how long it would take for someone to notice your absence. To your delight, because you spent most of your days alone in your room, no one seemed to notice you’d ever been gone as long as you made it back before dinner was to be served.

And so, you'd stay out until sunset, exploring the town you'd grown to only ever see from your window, making sure to wear the least expensive looking gown in your wardrobe, doing your best to blend in with the commoners. Thankfully, the task was easier than you'd expected given that none of the townsfolk had seen you up close since you were a small girl. You were perhaps strange in behavior as compared to them, given how much you questioned what was around you, but certainly not one person suspected you were the princess- just a sheltered, perhaps eccentric, young woman.  

As you became more comfortable, and got closer to the town gates with each passing day, your excitement would grow exponentially; the world beyond the gates was so foreign to you, even more so than the town itself had been. From your bedroom window, the fields that lied beyond the town gates appeared so miniscule, and you only knew what lied beyond because you’d been told about it, not because you’d seen it for yourself.

It was this determination to discover what lied beyond your limited world view that lead you to meet the man who'd come to hold your heart for the first time. You remember how your heart raced when you first approached the town gates, how your eyes darted to every corner to try to take in every minute detail.

The cobblestone became sparse, leaving nothing but dirt road to walk on, the wheels of countless carriages and horses hooves indented in the path, leading both to and away from town. You’d been told numerous times that beyond this point lies the farms that fueled the town with their food, and resources such as leather and wool to create clothing, blankets, and the upholstery on your furniture. And for the first time in your entire life, you were about to see it all up close with your own eyes, instead of vaguely from your bedroom window.

You knew their work was vital to the prosperous existence of your country, and you’d always found yourself wanting to know what it was like, to learn about how the world works not from a dull lecture or written text, but to experience it yourself, to truly understand the lives of the people you would one day govern beyond what you’d been told. To say you had a curious mind was perhaps an understatement; you were always full of curiosity about the world around you, but simply being told about the world wasn’t enough for you to be satisfied. 

To experience with your own eyes, to feel with your own hands- that was what being alive was truly about, wasn’t it? You didn’t feel your life was meant to be spent wasting away in your room until the day you became useful. If you spent your youth seeing the world, learning about it from your own lived experiences, wouldn’t that make you a better queen some day? To know the plight of the common man because you lived it for yourself? 

That’s what you wanted- the freedom to explore, to learn, to grow, and when the time was right, you’d accept your duty gracefully, and play the role you were meant to, but until then, there was nothing more you wanted than to feel the earth beneath your feet, to understand what a blessing it truly is to feel the warmth of the sun beaming down on your skin, to learn what it is that makes life beautiful to live. 

With a deep inhale to steady your racing heart, you took your first step outside the town gates, trying your best to not appear too nervous and draw undue attention to yourself. You conjured all the confidence you could muster into your steps, your short heels sinking into the pure dirt before you. It was a clear spring day, the sun welcoming you warmly, as if confirming that this was a decision you were meant to make, that following your heart and exploring the lush earth is what your true purpose was. 

You recall how different everything felt once you were fully outside the town- it was almost unbelievable how green, pretty and vibrant the outside looked when compared to the dull, monotonous grays and dirty browns you'd met with inside the town walls. And even the castle interior, while still pretty and not devoid of color like the town often seemed to be, still didn't compare to the nature that lied before you.

You saw children running through the grass without shoes, freely giggling as they play what you assume to be some sort of game, one you'd never had the chance to play. They were utterly carefree, and so full of life; how you wished you could be the same- just kick off your shoes and prance through the fields and the trees without a care in the world, with nothing to weigh you down. What a joy it must be, to live innocent and free, knowing nothing but laughter and love. 

You took time to admire naturally growing flowers, to lean down to carefully caress the petals, to feel the grass on your fingertips since you’re much too scared to actually take your shoes off despite how bad you’d have liked to. Following the road, past the sprawling fields where the children play, you eventually came to the occupied farm lands, and it was there, just before the fields turned into seemingly endless forest, that you met him for the first time.

His was the last farm for you to observe, and it held a surprise that made you positively gasp in delight; animals! You'd always thought the farm animals you’d seen in your books looked so cute, and you always wanted to feel their fur or feathers, wondering if they were truly as soft or as coarse as they were described to you. Was a sheep’s wool still soft before it was knit into a blanket, or woven into clothing? It was something you were endlessly curious about. 

However, you certainly knew better than to just waltz up to an animal that doesn't know you, and especially not one that is on someone else's land. So you settled for quietly observing them from outside the farm's sprawling gate, a huge smile on your face as you watched the animals graze. Even at your distance, it was still the closest you'd ever been to an animal other than a horse, and you simply couldn't get over how cute and soft they looked. Sheep, cows, chickens, ducks- all impossibly cute, and how you wished you could go and hug them.

You propped your arms up on the wooden fence, resting your head against them as you simply watched. It was almost funny how something so simple and normal to someone else's everyday life could instill such joy and wonder with you. And that's when you saw him; a single man walking out from his quaint cottage towards the back of the land, attending to the animals and filling up what you assumed to be their feed troughs.

His home, you noticed, was put together the same way most of the town was- with stone and clay, a simple but well constructed wooden door, and a decent sized chimney on the left that you were well aware was necessary to funnel out smoke from fireplaces in homes such as his. And it fascinated you how his home could look so different from yours when it was comprised of the same materials.

When put down simply to its parts, there was nothing that separated the castle from a commoner’s home other than the sheer size of it. Your mother would often tell you not to compare yourself, or the splendor of the castle to that of commoners or their homes, but you never saw any harm in doing so. 

You’re all human, and the only difference between you and them is that you were born into a royal family and they weren’t. You think she focuses too much on title, when to you title is worth nothing beyond a name. Still, while you recognize that while you aren’t different from anyone else in a biological sense, you are when it comes to status, and you wanted to use your privileged position for good when the time came, which is another reason you wanted to see the country for yourself, to put yourself in the shoes of the people and understand them. How can you be a good queen someday if you understand nothing of how the world truly works, or if every decision is fed to you from someone else? 

Really though you have to admit, apart from all the good reasons you had to sneak out, you equally had selfish ones. But was it so wrong to indulge your curiosity? You’ve tried many times to push aside your thoughts and to understand why you must stay solitary in the castle all day, but try as you might, this is all you want. To see, to experience, to feel; why was it only wrong for you to want that, and not for anyone else? Even if you’re the princess, you should still be allowed basic human freedoms- that’s what you believe, anyways.

You lost yourself in thought for a time, simply staring out at the scene of the man caring for his animals in front of you. You wondered if he was happy doing this everyday; was it monotonous, or did he take pride in it? Did he love his animals, or were they strictly the avenue he'd taken to provide for himself? You also wondered what you would be doing if you weren't the princess; would you be a farmer's daughter, spending all your days in the fields with the animals like he does? 

It was oddly fun to ponder on, to picture yourself leading a different life than one you'd led up to that point; maybe it was a form of escapism, and maybe you had more grievances with your upbringing than you'd let yourself believe at the time, but either way, a smile once again made its way to your lips as you pictured yourself feeling the fluffy wool of a sheep beneath your fingertips, as warm, soft, and comforting as a blanket in your imagination.

The man took notice of you after only a few moments, because realistically, how can he not notice a girl blatantly propped against his fence, staring at his land? He’s sure he doesn’t know you, doesn’t recognize you from any of the farming families that have homes adjacent to his, and he doesn’t go into town nearly enough to have made friends outside his small bubble. So who were you, and why are you staring at him like that?

"Do you need somethin', miss?" The burly man called out to you as he started to approach, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his arm. "O-Oh, uh, no, I apologize," you stuttered out, feeling instantly intimidated as he came closer; not because he was an intimidating person per se, because while his eyes are sharp, they also have a unique softness to them. It was his size that made you shrink back and feel small; you didn’t realize just how large the man was until he was practically face to face with you, and even the knights you’re met with daily, who undergo strict, intensive physical training, pale in comparison to the muscular physique of the man you in time came to know well.

You remember how he looked at you curiously, head tilting to the side as he watched you straighten your posture and take a step back from his fence. “I was just.. curious, about the animals. They’re very cute,” you explained and the man chuckled a bit, wiping his dirty hands on his worn trousers before stepping up to his fence. “I take it you’re from the town then? Can’t imagine you bein’ that curious about my animals otherwise,” he replied pleasantly, a warm, sort of prideful smile on his face. It confirmed his suspicions as well- you were definitely not someone he’s met before.  

"Yes, I've only ever seen them in books," you explained further, a bit timid now as you suddenly felt a wave of embarrassment wash over you. You were sure a commoner of your age would never be as fascinated by the animals as you were; they see them every day, it's a normal part of life for them. And you recall scolding yourself, really feeling that you needed to do a better job of hiding your lack of worldly experience when meeting new people so you'd stop having interactions like this. “I apologize again, I must appear very strange..”

“No need for that, sweetheart. I think it’s nice- I’m so used to bein’ around ‘em, that I don’t really stop and take it all in anymore. Reminds me of what I got, so thank you for that,” he replied kindly, his smile spreading an unfamiliar warmth through you in that moment. He was very, very kind, and you appreciated that he didn't judge you or find you to be a fool for your innocent curiosity.

"I could show you around, if you'd like. Let you meet them," he offered, and you positively beamed, though you really should have shown some restraint in the matter. "Could I really?" you couldn't help but ask eagerly, eyes sparkling with pure wonder and excitement at the prospect of seeing so many things you'd never encountered before up close. “Course, just come ‘round to the front, and tell me your name.” 

You yelled out your name as you eagerly turned and began to sprint (in quite unladylike fashion, you might add) to where you saw the gate to his property some time earlier. You could hear the man's laugh carry even as you ran (not advised in the shoes you were wearing, but you carried on nonetheless), stopping just in front of the small, modest gate. You waited for the kind man to catch up to you, not wanting to do anything rude or presumptuous by stepping onto his land without being specifically directed inside.

"You took off so fast, you didn't give me a chance to introduce myself," he laughed as he approached you again, and your face immediately flushed, embarrassed by your excitability over everything. "Name's Changbin," he introduced himself warmly after he opened the gate for you, and you smiled timidly, giving a polite bow after you crossed the border onto his property. “Pleasure to meet you, Changbin.”

"Likewise," he smiled as he closed the gate behind you, and it was then that your first true friendship began. In hindsight, it occurred to you that you should've given him a fake name, and while he did ponder on why your name seemed so familiar to him, he didn't ever appear to put together that you were the princess.

What was clear to him was that you were from a wealthy family; after all, that was the only explanation he could reach to decipher some of your "odd" behaviors. Your boundless curiosity, your utter excitement for the mundane, an unmatched passion for all the small things in life that he'd never seen before in anyone else. A light in your eyes as bright as the sun, filling him with warmth and adoration, your wonder and inquisitive nature both pure and infectious. 

He asked you once, what it is your family does, if being from the "high society" part of town near the castle is what made you live a sheltered life, why you seemed so (respectfully) clueless about things beyond the scope of inner-town workings and politics. You were surprised when he asked, and confirmed what he suspected, though you left out some of the very important details. After all, how could you tell him that the girl he's become friends with over the past few months, didn't just live near the castle- her home is the castle.

But you divulged what little you could, confided in him that your mother has high expectations of you, that she doesn't know you spend your days with him at his farm, that if she did know she certainly wouldn't approve, and he seemed to understand. While he may not be a high born man, he's no stranger to how haughty they can be, what with their superiority complexes and luxury goods, as if it's not working men like him that provide them with what they consume in the first place.

You weren't like that in the slightest- you were good, pure natured, with an infectious zest for life that he couldn't help but find his own joy in. Seeing you interact with the world, the happiness you gained from the simplicities in life, the wonder and curiosity you held for all things, both small and grand- it was a trait of yours he'd come to adore.

You learned from him just as much as he learned from you, and you truly reminded him how beautiful life is, how there is magic even in the mundane, what a gift it is to have, to be, and to feel. Changbin introduced you to so much, shared so many parts of his life, and you were truly the happiest you'd ever been, always looking forward to the next day you could go out and see him again.

"Have you ever ridden a horse?" he asked one summer afternoon when you were in stables together, you sat on a hay bale while you watched him care for Dolly, a beautiful, black and white dappled horse that belonged to his mother, whom she named such due to 'her mane being as beautiful as a porcelain dolls.' "Does being escorted in a carriage count?" you asked, and he laughed, shaking his head in amused disbelief.

"No, darlin', a carriage don't count," he said, smiling as you pouted ever so slightly. You were still a child the last time you were even in a carriage, given the fact that your mother never permits you to leave. You wondered what's more enjoyable; your memory of your last carriage ride is so faded, you wondered if you could even compare the experiences, were you to ever ride a horse.

As if sensing your thoughts, Changbin made an offer that once again made you beam, radiating joy and excitement. "I could teach you how. Or let you ride with me," he offered and you were eagerly nodding without a second thought, jumping straight to your feet. "I'd love that!" Changbin returned your smile, promising that once he got Dolly situated in a saddle, he'd take you for a ride while telling you everything he knows and answering any question you may have about it, no matter how small or seemingly silly and "common sense."

He helped you up onto her back, making sure you sat comfortably on the back of the saddle, both your legs dangling over one side of her body due to the fact that you were wearing a dress. Changbin got up onto the saddle with ease, carefully not to accidentally hit you with his leg while making his ascent. After he was settled in front of you, he instructed you to wrap your arms around his torso, as it takes time to become adjusted to the movement of the horse and naturally find your balance.

You wondered if he could feel your heart race when your chest was pressed against his back, how your palms grew sweaty from holding onto him, how your face flushed every time he called Dolly a "good girl", wondering what it'd be like if he said the same to you, if he praised you after he encouraged you or taught you something new.

But the more comfortable you got, the more he allowed Dolly to pick up speed, until she was going around the enclosed pen in a brisk trot, your arms squeezing Changbin as you giggle joyfully, feeling the wind brush by your ears and pull back your hair. It was so fun, so new, another experience Changbin granted you that you wouldn't otherwise have ever had the chance to have.

When you were finished, as the sun was beginning to set and it was time for you to get home, lest your mother send a maid to summon you for dinner and find you absent, he jumped off first, and then held out his hand to you, offering for you to take it, promising he'd make sure you got down safely.

And he did, letting you squeeze his hand as you made the unfamiliar leap off, his opposite hand coming to your back to ensure you were stable on your feet after you landed. His hand lingered even after it was apparent you were steady, and yours did as well, still holding onto his hand even though you no longer had need to. It felt as though there was a shift between you- both staring carefully at one another, a suggestion that you could be something more than this, that there was a connection beyond that of just friendship.

Slowly, with the same smile for you he always had, he pulled his hand away from your back, but didn't make you part from his hand, letting you hold it even as he walked you to his gate. And you felt a stutter in your heart, unlike any you'd ever felt before then, returning his smiles happily, your cheeks dusted pink even as you thanked him for the afternoon and bid him goodbye, every once in a while turning back just to him still watching you, offering a soft smile and wave each time your gazes met again.

Then, there was the time you were inside his chicken coops with him, Changbin having taught you much about how to properly care for the animals in your time near him. And after weeks of observation, you wanted to help, to really try your hand at it! You did well, for the most part- your error came when trying to get a hen away from a freshly laid egg.

You tried your best to follow Changbin's instructions carefully, but still, your inexperience was greatly apparent, and you ended up upsetting the poor thing. When she flew up in protest, it startled you, and you nearly fell backwards, but Changbin caught you, one of his strong arms wrapped around your back and holding you upright as if you weighed nothing at all.

You blinked up at him in surprise, face growing red as he asked if you were alright, your heart unexpectedly pounding. You muttered out an apology, voice much meeker than you wanted it to be, but he simply smiled, helping you steady yourself again to stand on your own, ensuring you that it wasn't your fault, and that he could tell you were genuinely trying your best.

"No one gets it right on their first try, don't be discouraged, you did good, sweetheart," he said, and the words somehow made your heart race faster, face growing even pinker. You were certain then- you liked him as much, much more than a friend. You wanted him to always praise you, to console you, to call you sweetheart in a way beyond platonic- to look at you romantically, to call you by such sweet names in a moment of love and passion.

When you returned home that day, lying in bed after finishing dinner and washing up, your thoughts were plagued by him- much more than they usually were, and in completely different contexts. How would his strong arms feel under your fingers while he held you up, supporting all of your weight as he took you in every way conceivable, across every surface of his home.

You'd had.. less than pure thoughts before of course, so it's not like this was new to you- what was new was having an explicit object of desire, someone you wanted to lie with, someone you imagined touching you everywhere, and you touching them and pleasuring them in equal measure.

There were many times you watched him work, sweat collecting on his forehead, dripping down his brow, his breath growing heavier with labor, his broad chest rising and falling quickly with exertion- would he look the same atop you? Body heavy between your legs, pressing you down, and God, you were driving yourself crazy thinking about it.

Changbin noticed, another summer day, sun high and hot, leaving him sweatier than usual, and your face hot and red (though for reasons beyond that of the sun beaming down on you.) "C'mon sweetheart, let's go inside. It's hot out here, ain't it?" he'd said, deciding it was time, for both your sakes, to take a well deserved break. You agreed, thankful beyond words he thought it was simply the sun making you a heated mess, and not how absolutely divine he looked chopping wood in preperation for when the weather would change in a month.

You sat on his sofa together, sipping on lemonade he made himself by hand, thankful to be out of the unforgiving sun (and to have something to focus on besides how attracted you were to him.) "You seem to be thinkin' a lot today. What's on your mind, sweetheart?" Changbin asked after it was quiet for a time, your cup of lemonade held in your lap as you stared off at unfixed location.

"I've.. come to like you quite a lot more than I expected. As more than a friend, I think," you answer honestly, though you don't expect him to do anything with your feelings. While he's your first real connection with someone, you're sure he's lived a full, experienced life. You feel there's no reason for him to like you as you like him, but still you told him, for you already hide enough about your life from him, and you don't want your thoughts and feelings to be one of those things you keep from him.

"I'm fond of you too. More than a friend, and more than you probably know," he replied with a soft smile, setting his empty cup to the side. You blinked, cheeks turning pink as you practically gaped at him. "Do you mean that? Sincerely?" you asked, heart thumping loudly as you too carefully set your cup aside. "I wouldn't lie to you darlin'. 'Specially not about matters of the heart," he responded earnestly, carefully moving closer to you.

You met him halfway, slowly, your eyes timidly meeting his as his hand comes towards you, resting heavy but soft on your cheek. "Tell me truly," he almost whispers, face coming close enough to yours to feel his breath tickle your skin, "Do you want to kiss me as badly as I want to kiss you?" "Yes," you breathed out, and not even a full second later, his lips were on yours, plush and soft, butterflies filling your stomach and truly, you couldn't ask for any greater joy than that moment.

You kissed a lot after that- in greeting and in parting, sweetly, slowly, carefully, sometimes even urgently, needily, passionately. You'd help him with as much of his daily work as you could manage, so he could finish faster and you could spend the rest of the afternoon holding one another close, hands exploring anywhere and everywhere, both eager, both seeking more and more and more, both indulging in the feeling of not just pleasure, but of closeness, intimacy beyond just the physical, the love and care you share for one another.

But as quickly as your happiness was obtained, it was taken away; unbeknownst to you, on an afternoon in early fall, shortly after breakfast, a knight had seen you squeezing through the hole in the castle's wall, eager to spend yet another day with Changbin. He didn't think you were sneaking out at first- he thought maybe he was just mistaken on what he saw, but when he stepped over, and it became clear that you were now nowhere to be seen, he had to inform your mother, as was his duty.

And there are truly no words to describe how devastated you felt when suddenly, as if from nowhere, countless knights were surrounding you, pleading with you to return to the castle, lest they have to drag you back by your mother's command. It became a spectacle in the street, commoners whispering amongst themselves as they tried to piece together what they were witnessing, and if the sweet, smiley girl they’d seen exiting and returning to town everyday for months was really the princess this entire time.

You felt as if your entire world was collapsing as they escorted you back home, your heart squeezing painfully in your chest, knowing your mother would be positively furious when your eyes next met. But no, she wasn’t just furious- she was livid, the angriest you’d ever seen her in all your years. You pleaded with her to understand, assured her that if you were truly going to run away from home and abandon your responsibility, then you wouldn’t have returned every single time you’d left. You didn’t want to be stuck here all day, every day, bored, alone, depressed, when there was an entire world out there to see, people to talk to, experiences to be had. You’d do everything expected of you as a princess, and later as queen, but please- just this one thing, allow me this one thing.

But no, your pleas fell on deaf ears, your mother completely dismissive of your feelings and unwilling to bend her iron rules. And so you once again became a prisoner inside your own room, tears streaming down your cheeks as you stared at the edge of town from your window, Changbin so near, yet impossibly far. Your mother didn’t know of Changbin, you didn’t tell her, nor would you ever, as things stand now- but how you wished you could tell her, “I’ve found love, and now I understand how truly a magical thing it is. I don’t want this to be the end of my joy.” 

Weeks passed, and while the pain never left you, you learned to manage it well enough, hopeful that you’d be reunited with Changbin someday soon. But then you saw them- carpenters, working diligently to fill the hole in the castle walls that you had repeatedly used for your daily escapes. The color drained from your face, your heart sinking into the very depths of your stomach. Your plan to simply be an obedient daughter long enough for your mother to lessen her watchful eyes on you, to one day again leave the castle once her constant vigil had relaxed, was being thwarted before it could ever truly begin. 

You anticipated to be in this act for the long haul, knowing very well it could take months, or even years, to rebuild your mother’s trust in you, but you’d never imagined she’d take away the very source of your hope mere weeks after confining you away to your room. To call a hole in the castle’s defenses your “hope” may seem foolish to most, but it was all you had- a symbol of escape, of life beyond these four walls that had become your permanent home. 

The day it was filled would be the day you’d lose everything; your freedom, your friendships, your joy, your hopes, your dreams, everything. Even as you are now, a canary trapped in her gilded cage, the promise that simple flaw in the walls gave you kept you going- the promise that someday, even if it was years and years from now, you’d be free again, doing what you loved most, being with who you loved most. 

You know your mother cares for you, she wants the best for you, and the loss of your father, the king, much too soon has deeply scarred her. She fears for you, she keeps you ever at arm’s length because she can’t bear for you to part from her, to leave her behind the way your father had, but surely this isn't the answer. Surely there was something better than this, something that didn’t necessitate you being a prisoner in your own home. 

Fear of loss and devastation ruled her life, made her trap you lest you decide to leave and never return, failing to realize that it was her very actions and treatment of you that gave those fears of hers room to become reality. But to know heartbreak is to know truest love, and even should loss plague your life, you will never regret having discovered love.

You had no desire to abandon your family, your kingdom, or run from your responsibilities, but if that was the only way to be free, if there was no other conceivable way to experience life’s joys and warmth, then.. What else was there for you to do? Ironic, how your mother had unwittingly created a self-fulfilling prophecy when she forbade you from living a life of your own, her own actions resulting in the very outcome she feared most of all.

You have to do something, anything, now, before it’s too late, and you are left with nothing but the fleeting memories of the man you hold so dear. You bide your time, waiting until nightfall when the carpenters have left for the night to make your move. Your mother has posted knights to the spot now, instructed to keep a watchful eye should you try again to leave the premises, but you think with the right timing, you can slip out unnoticed. 

There’s a small window of time where, when the knights standing guard rotate shifts, the hole in the castle’s walls will have no one standing in front of them. It’s risky, and if you’re too slow you’ll be spotted by the new knights taking over for the ones who departed, but it’s the only chance you have, so you need to take it. As soon as the knights previously keeping watch over the area get far enough away, you dart for the breach in the castle. The hole is definitely smaller than it was before, but you still manage to squeeze past just fine, with seconds to spare before you hear the sounds of the new knights approaching, luckily having not noticed anything amiss.

The streets are much different at night, the subtle illumination from the candles in the surrounding buildings hardly enough to point you in the right direction. You look to the horizon instead, hoping that the dark line of trees on the horizon will be enough to guide you to the gate leaving town. Some who notice your desperate run call out, concern evident in their voice, but you can’t stop for them, can’t stop until you’ve made it to Changbin’s side. And though it is not without struggle, you do, eventually, thankfully, find your way out of the town.

You’re panting, chest heaving as your heart pounds and your lungs desperately try to suck in air once you’ve made it completely outside the town gates- but still, you aren’t where you need to be, so you can’t stop yet. Pushing yourself to your very limits, even as your legs scream at you and harsh cold pricks your skin, you can finally make out Changbin’s land in the tree-lined horizon. Reaching the gate to his property, you push it open in haste, taking hardly any steps past the threshold before you collapse to your knees, the ache and exhaustion refusing to be ignored any further. 

You bring a hand to your heart, taking a few seconds to calm yourself and breathe before you attempt to rise back to your feet, but your legs refuse the action, much too weak to support you beyond what they’ve already done. It’s good enough, you suppose; they’ve carried far, with much more urgency than you’d ever thought possible, and now you’re right here, so close to where you need to be- and despite being a princess, you’re not above crawling your way over to Changbin’s door if you must.

Once more, you try- and though weak, and unsteady, you are able to rise once more. You can’t run, can hardly even walk as sore and as exhausted as your legs are, but they carry you as far as they can, recognizing the urgency you feel, aiding you as much as it can in your last, desperate effort. Your throat is dry, it hurts, but you call out Changbin’s name regardless, hoping he’s awake, hoping he hears you, hoping he’ll wrap his arms around you, kiss you, console you, even if it’s just this one last time.

It’s been over a month since the last time Changbin saw you, and there’s so many questions he can’t help but ask himself, that he wishes he could ask you, so he didn’t spend all his hours distracted with worry and self-doubt. There had been gaps in the time you spent together before, but never for this large of a duration of time- a week usually at most. Did he do something wrong the last time you were together? Or did your strict mother finally learn of your deceit, and now made you keep away, unable to return to his side though you may have wished to? 

He just wishes he knew for certain what it is, so that even if he was saddened, he did not have to have his mind consumed by what-if’s and uncertainties. There was a time, even, where he considered going into town and asking of you, but he was worried that doing so would only create more problems for you if the wrong person caught word of his inquiries. So all he could was wait- wait, and hope, that you would return again before year’s end, and that he would have the answers he so desperately craves to his questions.

Most of all, he just hopes you’re well; you’d expressed more than once that you loved your life and your family, you just didn’t want to feel trapped. You wanted to have choices, to feel like your thoughts and opinions matter, to be allowed to live as most other people do when you are not burdened with work. Whenever you spoke of home, he always found it unfair, and he felt for you- you loved your mother, dearly, but he could see how you struggled with her rules, how sadness lingered in your eyes and resent bubbled up within you despite how you tried to not feel such things. 

And though he understood why you could not, he wished at times that you could simply stay with him- to not have to depart the moment the sun began to sink, to lie in bed with him all night, to have breakfast and dinner together, to live without worry together. He’d work hard for you, even harder than he does now, and it’d be worth it to see you smile at him as you always do, so bright and full of light, keeping each other company on your loneliest days and nights. 

Changbin sighs, exhaustion plaguing him as he sits before the small fire he has going in his living room, head falling back against his sofa. He hasn’t slept well these past few nights- he just can’t help but think of you at all hours, and every time he closes his eyes to sleep, he’s met with the image of you. It keeps him up, though not all his thoughts of you are plagued by unpleasant worry- sometimes it’s simply just the image of you smiling or laughing, and he feels nothing but warmth, even as he is reminded how much he truly misses you. 

Should you never return again, for whatever reason that may be, he doesn’t think he would ever regret having known you and given his love to you. Short-lived though your romance may be in the grand scheme of his life, and all the years he may be blessed to live, it was of the utmost importance, and he’d be remiss to let those memories become tarnished or devalued. You reminded him of how much joy there is in life, how grateful he is to have what he does, how much beauty there is in even the smallest of things. 

Another sigh leaves his lips as he lifts his head, rubbing carefully at his weary eyes- he should probably try to rest soon, though he feels sleep will likely stay out his reach for some time after his head hits the pillows. He stands from the sofa, preparing himself to extinguish the fire and head to bed, when he hears a strange, unfamiliar sound from outside his door. A thud, almost- as if something with a not insubstantial amount of weight thumped to the ground. 

It couldn’t be his logs- he knew the sound of falling logs well enough to recognize the distinct sound made when one toppled, and often times when one fell, more followed. This was unlike that entirely, only one sound followed by silence, and the sound itself was still too dense to be one of his pieces of chopped wood. The sound felt more.. concentrated; an animal perhaps? And if it was an animal, he couldn’t let it go ignored- especially not if it was one of his own. 

As Changbin steps closer to his door to investigate the sound, he hears something else entirely unexpected- a frail voice.. your voice..? Rushing to his door now, he opens it in haste, eyes darting to find the source of what he heard. And there, he sees you, collapsed to the ground before him, looking up at him with a mix of relief, exhaustion, and anguish. “Y/N-” he gasps as he leans down to you, concern evident in his voice and expression, hands reaching out to touch you and shit, your body is freezing; you are woefully ill dressed for the fall chill, and who knows how long you’ve been out in it with nothing but your dress. 

Quickly, he picks you up, carrying you inside and using his foot to kick the door shut behind him. “Just sit here a minute,” he says as he sits you down on the sofa, rushing to his room to grab all the blankets and pillows he can carry. He prepares a sort of makeshift bed on the floor in front of the fireplace, laying down a couple blankets and pillows, with the intention to have you lay by the fire and spread some much needed warmth through your chilled body. 

Changbin scoops you back up when he’s satisfied with his work, very carefully laying you down a close (yet safe) distance to the fire, nestling beside you after and laying an additional blanket over your bodies. He has so many questions, his mind is racing, but they can wait- making sure you’re not going to suffer frostbite is of much more importance. He lets you use him for warmth, not complaining a bit when your cold limbs tangle with his, letting you sap his warmth and take it for your own. 

He brings his hands to your face, warming your cold cheeks in his palms, looking you over carefully. You looked unhurt, thankfully- he has no idea what you’ve gone through, but he’s glad you’re here now, and looking well, all things considered. “Do you want to tell me what’s happened?” he asks softly, pushing the fallen hair away from your eyes, letting him meet your gaze without obstruction. You swallow down your bubbling emotion, wanting to be clear and concise, to leave no room for confusion or error. 

“My mother is very strict, as you know.. She enforced her rules more harshly after she discovered how I’d been spending my time. I had to sneak out again just to be here,” you answer, and his brows furrow. “Again..? Have you been sneaking out to see me all this time?” he asks, and you nod, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. Changbin knew your mother had strict rules, he knew she didn’t approve of her daughter meeting with those of lower class, but that wasn’t the extent of it? 

This whole time, he thought your lie to your mother was simply that you exited town- not that you left home entirely. He was under the impression that you were still allowed out on the streets, at the very least; not that you were caged up inside all day like some sort of bird. But this.. This was outrageous, cruel. To not let your daughter out of the house at all? That’s what you’d been dealing with this entire time? 

Relationships with parents are complex, but he almost can’t even believe you still love her after all this, that you still want to uphold whatever ambitions it is that she has for you; if it were him, he doesn’t think he could stand it. He followed in his parents footsteps because he wanted to, not because he was forced to. And he doesn’t imagine you’d be much different from him in that regard; naive though you may be at times, you had a strong sense of responsibility, and were intelligent in matters he was clueless on, a completely different kind of intellect from his own. 

“You can stay with me,” he wants to say, “I’ll never make you do a single thing you don’t want to do, you’ll always be respected and happy.” But he knows you’d refuse, your sense of pride in yourself and responsibility simply too strong to abandon just because of one obstacle, harsh though that obstacle may be. In equal measure, you don’t think you could ever ask him to stay with you. How much would he have to give up to be with you? 

You don’t want to ask that of him- to make him give up his home and all he holds dear just to be stuck in the castle with you. He doesn’t even know you’re the princess in the first place. And though you love him, it’s painfully apparent that you’re in two separate worlds that may not be destined to converge though you wish them to. “I don’t want this to be the end,” you say, hot tears finally starting to fall as you the emotion unleashes itself from the depths of where you’d pushed them down, “I don’t want this to be the last time I see you.”

God, Changbin feels like his heart is shattering. It’s so painful to see you reduced to this, you who is always so bright and vibrant in her joy, brought low to tears and heartache. Why must you endure this? Does your mother truly not understand how much pain she causes you but not allowing you to simply live? “Don’t think like that. If you say it’s the end, then it will be,” he whispers, the pain in his own voice evident despite how he tries to hide it behind a mask of strength for your sake.

The tears flow from your eyes and you let him rub them away with his thumb, letting him fill your head with impossible, sweet promises. Your whole life was clouded in dreadful, dreary rain, and there’s nowhere you wanted to be more after the rain than with Changbin. What a ray of sunshine he was, even without intending to be- the light that illuminated your otherwise dark existence. And how painful it was to know that come morning, it would all become nothing but a memory from your youth. 

You lean forward to kiss him, tears continuing to leak from the corners despite having your eyes closed now. You want to tell him “I love you” but you fear that saying so will only make the act of parting that much harder and painful. You fear that no matter how much time passes, the name of your first love will forever be written in your heart, that you will never stop loving him even should you lead lives separate from one another. And still, you have no regrets, because for a time you felt truest joy and love, and what a gift it was to share with him. 

Taking his hands from your face, he pulls you closer, your entangled limbs being woven together more complexly, your torsos now completely flushed to one another, his arms wrapped around and holding you tight, as if lessening his hold on you would cause you to dissipate. And perhaps you will disappear, but not now- not while he has you like this, not when you are where you long to be most. Your tears slow, eventually receding completely as your lips touch. 

If this is truly your last moment together, you have decided you will not spend it wallowing in sorrow- you will enjoy all you can, you will memorize every detail, you will etch it in your very soul. “Are you warm enough?” Changbin asks after he separates from you, but still close enough that his breath lingers on your lips. “Could be warmer,” you answer and he chuckles softly, kissing you again, his hands roaming down the expanse of your body, to your hips. 

“Want me to add more to the fire?” he asks, a playful lilt in his voice as he knows that’s not what you’re insinuating. While you normally speak quite openly and honestly, you become.. meek within intimate moments. Changbin always finds it incredibly cute, how you dance around what you mean, waiting for him to get the hint and give you what you want. He always gets the hint, but it’s fun to see your blush grow hotter, to see you stumble with your words when he plays dumb about what you mean, or purposely misunderstands just to make you state what you want clearly. 

“It certainly wouldn’t hurt, but..” you trail off, chewing on your lip nervously as you meet his eyes again. He raises his brow but says nothing, smiling patiently as he waits for you to speak your mind. What a menace, you think, he always does this when he realizes you want to be intimate with him. However, he doesn’t intend to waste too much time making you flustered and teasing; it’s just.. if this is the last time like you seem to believe, then he wanted to see it again now, before the opportunity was lost to him. 

“I’ve missed you a lot, you know. I want you to touch me,” you finally answer and he coos, furthering the embarrassment you feel as heat rushes to your face. But better than being cold like you were earlier, you suppose; maybe you should welcome his teasing, since it never fails to make your face and body hot. “You missed me, darlin’? I missed you too,” he smiles, kissing your face, your lips, your jaw, your neck, “thought about you every damn day.” 

His low voice near your ear makes you shudder, his soft kisses down your neck, to your shoulder, furthering the feeling. You never let him mark your skin, afraid of what consequences would come from your mother finding out what you’d been doing, but you’re tempted to let him tonight- if you’re going to be punished regardless, why not be selfish, go out with a display? “Binnie, leave a mark on me, please,” you shamelessly plead, using the nickname you know he loves to hear you speak. 

Changbin lifts his head from your shoulder, meeting your gaze with uncertain excitement. God, he’d love to, but.. “Are you certain? What of your mother?” he asks carefully, pushing your hair behind your neck to expose more of your skin. He may be apprehensive out of concern, but the minute you make it clear you have no reservations, he’s obliging without restraint, giving you everything you ask- anything you want, you’ll have it. 

“I don’t care what she thinks anymore, I want her to know that I.. have someone I love,” you answer sincerely, and he smiles, his heart feeling like it’s expanding in size. “You love me?” he asks, and you return his smile as you nod, because though you were scared to tell him, you are glad you did. His reaction to the information was completely worth it, his eyes sparkling with deep emotion and fondness for you. 

“I love you too. More than you probably know,” he says, mirroring what he said when he confessed that he liked you too, and he lets you pull him into a kiss, your affection radiating. There’s a soft giggle that escapes him, not being able to help how giddy your love makes him feel, how you love him despite what people in your life expect from you. If he could, he’d assure them all how well he’d take care of you, how he’d make sure you never suffered a day in your life because of him. He suspects your mother doesn’t care much about your happiness, but if she did, if she gave him the chance to prove it, he wouldn’t rest until he gave you the entire world, until she could see your love as true. 

You lay your head back to the pillows, tilting it comfortably so that Changbin has more access to your skin. His breath warms you, and you all but tremble with anticipation when you feel his lips on you again, knowing your skin will finally bear his mark after all this time. You’ve seen such a mark briefly on your maids that you know to have lovers, how they try to hide them with their hair or makeup, the sort of shame and embarrassment they feel when they realize you’ve noticed it.

You will have no such shame; you will wear them proudly, in a show that is simultaneously of love and rebellion. I have and I know love, and that is all that matters. People will certainly have opinions, but you’ve sacrificed enough to them. If there is only one day you can live selfishly, you want it to be this day; and even as the marks fade, they will serve as a reminder of what you once had. 

He plants open mouthed kisses to your neck, the feeling of his tongue and teeth grazing you adding to the anticipation you feel. Your fingers tangle in his dark, unruly curls, as he carefully, almost gently, sucks and bites at your supple skin, leaving behind a string of beautiful, red, blue, and purple bruises. There’s a tinge of pain, yes, but the excitement grows beyond the subtle sting, transforming it almost entirely into pleasure. 

When Changbin’s finished with one side, he lies you on your back and does the same to the other, your eyes fluttering closed as you tilt your head for him to have more room to work. You unintentionally tug on his hair when his teeth meet a particularly sensitive spot, and you would’ve apologized had he not groaned in delight from the feeling. You learned something new about him every time you were intimate, and this discovery in particular had your stomach flipping.

“Want you to take it off,” he mumbles in reference to your dress, pulling at the fabric that had begun to bunch up at your thighs. You hum, detangling your hand from his hair and letting him sit up, watching as he lifts his own shirt up and over his head, tossing it aside. In all the times you’ve seen Changbin’s skin bare, you never stopped being amazed at how divine he looked. He was so big and strong, it always left you breathless, his cute, soft stomach a direct contrast from the bulk in his arms and chest. And then there was the small patch of hair that led from his belly button to the waistband of his trousers that always left you hungry to see the rest of him. 

Still feeling a bit weak from your exertion prior, you ask Changbin to help you remove your dress, which he is more than happy to do. He’s careful with the fabric, though you’ve decided you don’t care about it at this particular moment, and he sets it aside with much more care than he did his own clothing. What a gentleman he is, you think, taking the extra time to care for your clothes even when he’s met with you bare before him.

Well, not entirely bare- you still have your undergarments on, and after deciding you’d see Changbin today no matter what, you purposely wore your prettiest pair. A beautiful, intricate and delicate white lace, one you might aspire to wear on your wedding night. He looks you over in awe, taking in all your details. You were always beautiful, but your choice in clothing somehow enhances it, drives his excitement even further. 

“Fuck, you’re stunning. How did I get so lucky?” Changbin questions aloud and you smile, a soft giggle escaping you as he leans back down to kiss you. “Take your pants off too, otherwise it isn’t fair,” you playfully complain and he grins, letting out a chuckle of his own as lifts himself back up. “Maybe I spoil you too much, giving you everything you want so easily,” he responds to your complaint with one of his own, trying not to smile so that he appears serious- though you are easily able to read that he’s playing around, just as you were. 

“You give me everything I want because I’m a good girl for you though, right?” you ask and he groans audibly; you admitted early on in your sexual relationship that you were curious about being called such things, and when he tried it out, it was discovered that he liked saying it just as much as you liked being called it. It’s not just saying it to you that he likes either- hearing you call yourself one, saying it’s just for him.. that’s what really gets him going. 

He doesn’t want to be presumptuous and say you belong to him, especially not after all you’ve suffered through, but he definitely belongs to you. You don’t anticipate Changbin pulling his underwear down with his trousers, but the sight of his cock is never unwelcome. It’s already hard and leaking, and when he leans down to you once again, you can feel it pressing against your bare thigh, smearing its fluid on your skin. It always excites you, how hard he gets from your body, and while you are normally much more timid, you’re enjoying getting him riled up quickly. 

“You’re dangerous,” he says with a small huff, and before you can come back with more words to make his cock throb, he’s kissing you again, this time wasting no time with softness and shoving his tongue past your lips. You welcome it, opening your mouth for him, letting his tongue tangle with yours. The feeling always makes you light-headed in the most delicious way possible- it’s intoxicating to put it simply, and you would kiss him for hours and hours if given the chance. 

His hands come to your bra, unhooking it easily after all the practice he’s had, and though he could easily toss it aside, he breaks away long enough to set it down gently. You giggle at how he’s still treating your clothes with care even while this hard and eager, but that’s what makes you love him so much. Returning to your mouth, he nips and sucks at your bottom lip, and you mewl at the sting, which Changbin always gladly soothes with his tongue before repeating. 

His fingers roll, pinch, and tug your nipples, not too hard, but enough to have you whining and squeezing your legs together. They were always so sensitive in Changbin’s rough, calloused hands, and there were times you felt you could cum simply from the stimulation of them alone, especially when he used his mouth. And he did just that when he pulled away to stop kissing you, though not right away.

He kissed all over your chest, leaving love bites and sucking small, almost delicate bruises onto the sensitive skin of your breasts, not yet touching your nipples with his tongue and teeth. You told him to mark you, and it seems he was determined to do it everywhere- not that you had any objections. It was a bit strange, seeing your chest bitten and the color of your flesh changed, but you equally enjoyed it, loved the physical proof that Changbin was on you. 

When his tongue finally swirled around one of your nipples, you let out a breathy moan that quickly turned into a drawn out whimper when he used his teeth to carefully tug. He made sure not to hurt you too overtly, to just give you enough of that sweet sting you found so enticing and pleasurable, and in return you gave him that same delicious feeling by tugging on his hair every time you felt good. 

Your panties were soaked by the time he stopped giving your breasts attention, and though you hadn’t reached your peak from the stimulation, you felt so close. Resuming his path down your body, Changbin’s cock throbs and twitches when he’s met with evidence of your excitement, your white panties darkened by how damp they’ve become. He doesn’t pull them down right away- he kisses your legs first, and then your thighs, leaving behind the same kisses and marks he gave to your chest and neck. 

Your inner thighs are especially sensitive, and it causes you to jolt and whine when he sinks his teeth into the meat of them. He’s got you so impossibly worked up, you feel like you could cry when he finally gives your neglected heat the attention it craves. He praises you before he slides your panties down your legs, and there’s a relieved sort of noise coming from your throat that makes Changbin chuckle. 

You keen when his tongue finally slips between your folds, licking and sucking up everything you have to offer him. There’s an enthusiastic hum that leaves his lips when your fingers tangle in his hair again, followed by a groan when you pull and tug. Your legs are trembling and twitching so much, constantly threatening to lose around his head, that he has to push them down to keep you how he wants you.  

It’s when his tongue meets your clit that you really start to lose yourself, your hips jolting up and back arching, legs quivering when he wraps his lips around it and sucks. You’re panting, begging him, incoherently mumbling and babbling about how close you are, and within seconds you’re seeing white, eyes rolling back as further wetness gushes on his face. He licks your release up with another eager hum, dragging out the feeling until you’re a quivering, overstimulated mess beneath him. 

You release your hold on his curls when you finally come down from your high and your body relaxes, opening your eyes to see Changbin grinning at you, evidently proud of the fact that he got you to cum in record time. He kisses you softly, quick and chaste, not trying to hinder you from taking any of the breaths you need, just wanting to show his affection. “What do you want next, darlin’? Since I’m givin’ you everything you want,” he asks, rubbing soothing circles on your skin as he awaits your answer.

“W-Want to be on top but.. I’m still feeling pretty weak. Especially after that,” you reply with a slight blush, and he chuckles again, cooing at you as if you’re just so sweet and cute (and to be fair, you are. At least to him.) “S’okay sweetheart, I can help you,” Changbin says sweetly, giving you one more kiss before he’s lying down on the makeshift bed and pulling you on top of him. Your legs are on either side of them, his hands on your hips, looking up at you with pure affection. 

“This good? Comfortable?” he asks, and you hum with a nod, smiling just a bit as you lean down to kiss him again. Normally, given how thick he is, Changbin would prep you before having you take his cock, but given how wet and excited you are, he doesn’t think the prep is as necessary (and you might not be patient enough for it after all the build up to this point regardless.) He helps you line yourself up with his cock, both of you letting out your own shaky noises as you sink down on him. 

“Atta girl, keep goin’, just like that, sit on me all the way,” he encourages you, and you do just as he asks, your hands tightly gripping his biceps to ground and support yourself as you sit flush with his body, the back of your thighs meeting the top of his. He rubs your thighs and legs, trying to show soothing affection as you adjust and settle, listening attentively to all the trembling exhales and noises you make. 

You look so beautiful atop him, illuminated in the gentle, warm glow of the fireplace, your hair having fallen in a way that messily, yet somehow perfectly, frames your face. He can see everything- your breasts, your stomach, your thighs, beautifully painted with all the marks he left behind. You can feel him twitching and throbbing inside you, but he doesn’t rush you along, lets you take all the time you need. 

You feel him twitch again when you lean down to kiss him, and it’d make you giggle if it also didn’t make a wave of pleasure shoot through your body. You move your hands to his chest to support your own weight better, experimentally rolling your hips as you coax your tongue into his mouth. He lets out a groan from deep in his chest as you move, his tongue wasting no time in meeting and dancing with yours, his fingers squeezing at the already tender meat of your thighs. 

You lift yourself back up to begin moving in earnest, your hands still planted firmly on his chest for support as you slide yourself up and down his length. The slow pace, while it still feels good, isn’t enough for either of you, and soon enough you find yourself practically bouncing on his cock, the sound of your thighs repeatedly slapping down on his echoing into the room. Changbin curses, biting his lip as he watches you, using his hands to help guide you up and down, trying to ease some of the ache in your legs. 

He thrusts upward into you when your pace starts to stutter and lose rhythm, and you gasp, eyes rolling back as he hits the perfect spot again and again. It reaches a point where his hands simply hold you in the right place while he exerts all his effort, feet planted firmly on the ground while he does all the work from below. Your nails dig into his skin, head falling back as you feel your release building up again. 

Changbin effortlessly flips your positions, though he is careful not to hurt you in his haste- he just wants to make you fall apart again, and it’s easier to do that if he doesn’t have to control your movements- just his own. He resumes the pace he held from below, bringing two of his fingers to your clit and rubbing in quick circles, unable to help the way he groans when he feels you clench around him even tighter in response. 

“B-Bin, please, Binnie, so close,” you babble and whine, your hands twisting the blankets beneath you. “I know sweetheart, let go, be a good girl and give it to me,” he grunts out, and again, you feel white hot pleasure coursing through your veins, your vision blurring and mind growing fuzzy as you let go. “Good girl, just a little more, just need you to hang on for a little more,” he both instructs and praises, pulling out just long enough to flip you to your stomach, pushing back into your heat just as quickly as he left it. 

You whimper loudly, fingers clutching desperately at the pillow your head rests on, Changbin bringing a hand around your body to lift your hips ever so slightly. He was hitting your spot deliciously from this angle, the pleasure so great that tears once again pricked the corners of your eyes, threatening to fall with each gasp and whimper you released. You turn your head back as much as you can, delighted in the visage of Changbin’s head thrown back in pleasure, 

He always got rougher when he started to get close, his hands always tightening their grip, his thrusts, while growing less rhythmic, became harsher and faster, almost desperate, and it was always a treat to experience. You loved watching him lose himself to the pleasure, loved that it was you and your body that brought him there, loved how his grunts and groans transformed into higher pitched whimpers and whines. 

You bring your own fingers to your clit, wanting to let him enjoy and focus on his release since he already spent so much time on your pleasure. He leans forward, his chest pressed into your back, his hot breath hitting your ear, his whines and praises pouring directly into it. “Fuck, sweetheart, feel so good, ‘m gonna- fuck, gonna fill you up,” he stammers out, and it sends a shiver down your spine, your stomach erupting in countless butterflies, driving you to speed up the motion of your fingers. 

You release again with a strangled cry, gushing around his length and on your fingers. Changbin follows closely behind, the feeling of you clenching and squeezing around him as you cum for the third time sending him over his peak. He releases in long, drawn out spurts, both of you breathless and exhausted when he collapses next to you. You both know you should get cleaned up, but you’re both too tired to care, and he can always clean up his messes in the morning. For now, he just wants to stay close, here in front of the fire, with you. 

This very well could be your last night together, but he doesn’t want to believe it is. He wants to believe that the two of you can find a solution somehow, that after all the hardship, you’ll be smiling at him in the end. There’s a part of you that doesn’t even want to fall asleep at all- you want to stay up all night, to not waste a single moment you have left, to stare and feel and love until the very last second, so that he’ll remember him clearly always. 

You do your best to not become teary eyed again, having promised yourself you wouldn’t spend your night with him wrapped up in your sorrow and dread. But oh, how you wish there was more time, how you wish that your mother would understand you, that you could have just this one thing. But you suppose for a girl with immense responsibility, happiness is too much to ask for. You sacrifice your happiness so that others may have it instead- as noble an act as any, but you selfishly wish you could have both; the people’s happiness and your own. 

The idea of running away still leaves you torn, even after all this time. You don’t want to let anyone down.. but still, you have to ask yourself, is doing what’s right for your family and future worth all this heartache? If it’s what is right, why does it make your heart feel as if it’s been shattered like glass? You’ve been told in life that the right thing to do is never the easiest, but you can’t imagine that in this case, walking away from either side is right. 

You want both. Is that truly so wrong? You want to be a ruler worthy of her name and title, and you want Changbin. Why must you choose one over the other? As far as you’re aware, even now, Changbin doesn’t know you’re the princess. He’ll likely find out soon, when every knight in the town is floundering to find you come morning, when they realize you’re gone. You should slip away before then, lest your lover be met with undue scrutiny and unfair treatment from your mother and other nobles. 

But looking at him now, even still.. you don’t want to leave. You’ll never want to leave. “Sweetheart,” Changbin calls softly, his hand reaching up to leave comforting, lingering touches to your head. “I can tell what you’re thinkin’. But don’t be sad yet, not ‘til we’ve said goodbye.” You blink away the accumulating tears with a nod, swallowing down the lump in your throat the best you can and burying your face into Changbin’s welcoming body. 

You’re so, so tired, and you know he is too, but he’s trying his best for you. And he’s being the strong one despite how much his heart aches with yours. He rubs your head, kisses your temple, tells you he loves you. Your heart breaks and mends all at once; how bittersweet this moment is.. If you’re lucky, you have about 7 hours until anyone realizes you’re gone. Maybe you can sleep for just a few, just enough to get some of this ache out of your body, and then you can spend the rest with Changbin. 

You’ll cry, you know, as soon as you depart back home. You’ll cry when the hole in the castle’s defenses is completely sealed. You’ll cry when you look to the fields his home sits on from the bedroom window. Still.. you do your best to uphold your promise to yourself, and now to Changbin. You won’t cry, and you won’t be upset- not yet, anyways. Not until you’ve actually parted ways. For now, you’ll continue to lie in his arms, continue to express your love for him, continue to smile and laugh as if this isn’t the end, until morning comes and reminds you painfully that it is. 

How beautiful it was to love Seo Changbin, to learn and to grow and to really live with his help, patience, and care. How fondly you’ll miss him in every moment, how lovingly you’ll always hold his memory. Brief though your love together is, much shorter than it should have been, it has changed you for the better, and you’ll never regret it, even should your heart ache. And maybe Changbin is right; maybe there is room for hope, and maybe you’ll see each other again much sooner than you allow yourself to think. No matter what lies before you, there is one thing for certain; Changbin is your first love, and he’ll forever be etched in your heart- your lover, your deepest connection, your closest confidant. And how grateful you are to have known him.

#skz x reader #changbin x reader #skz smut #changbin smut #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz fluff #skz angst #mdni + divider graphic credit: @cafekitsune

[lovepookie]

zerobaseone masterlist

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ “is it a new start or the end?"

disclaimer! i will not be writing fics for yujin as he is a minor and i am not comfortable doing so! however, if i write reactions/fake texts for him it is purely platonic/friendship. xoxo

✿ = my personal favorites!

ot9 reactions/imagines — (coming soon)

ot9 fake texts —

☁︎ — texting zb1 “we need to talk”

hyung line | maknae line

☁︎ — zb1 texting you “i’m paying for your nails” ✿

hyung line | maknae line

☁︎ — angsty zb1 texts: after an argument ✿

☁︎ — zb1 reaction to “pull up, i’m in a fight” ✿

hyung line | maknae line

☁︎ — bestfriend!zb1 accidental confession

hyung line | maknae line

.♡.

— kim jiwoong ༉‧₊˚. (coming soon)

— zhang hao ༉‧₊˚. (coming soon)

— sung hanbin ༉‧₊˚.

SUN STAR MOON | 2.7k | angst, fluffy, slightly suggestive, established relationship, fem!reader, pregnancy au, kind of depressing ngl

♡ sypnosis: two lines. all it takes is two lines to change the trajectory of your life; you're pregnant. what are you to do? for starters, you have your amazing boyfriend hanbin by your side-and he'd go to the ends of the earth to make you happy and to make things work. there's something deep down that tells you he'd make an amazing dad; and maybe, just maybe, that you could make this work.

— seok matthew ༉‧₊˚.

NO PRESENTS | 2.4k | teeth-rotting fluff, suggestive, established relationship, non-idol au, christmas centered

♡ sypnosis: you and matthew agreed on no presents this year in order to save up to see his family for christmas next year. he has pestered you for a christmas tree, and now he won't stop clinging to you because "it's christmas, woman!" little does he know, you have a little gift up your sleeve.

— kim taerae ༉‧₊˚. (coming soon)

— ricky shen ༉‧₊˚.

FAVORING ROSES OVER DAISIES ✿ | 7.0k | royal au, fantasy/magical, fluff, angsty, prince! ricky, fem!reader, prince!hanbin side pairing, enemies to lovers, forbidden love

♡ sypnosis: daisies will forever and always be boring; they were the former queen's-your mother's-favorite flower. however, now that it's your turn to ascend the thrown, you can't help that roses are your favorite; just like the blood-red ones embellished on prince ricky's black suit on the night of your suitor's ball. but don't get caught up in the pretty scent and petals, because where there is beauty, there is thorns. ricky is the prince of an enemy nation-and your whole life he has been nothing but a pest. a really pretty one.

— kim gyubin ༉‧₊˚.

WHAT? HUH? ✿ | 5.3k | fluff, slight angst?, suggestive, childhood bestfriends to lovers, crack, college au, older reader

♡ sypnosis: your childhood friend gyubin had managed to bribe you into being his date to an all exclusive couple's christmas frat party, but you know more than anyone present that you don't belong there. the way gyubin's been eyeing you the whole night, the slight touches here and there; the way your heart beats fast in your chest in response-none of it belongs because you're just supposed to be friends-right?

HONEY ✿ | 3.7k | fluff, hint of angst, fem!reader, bestfriends to lovers, college au

♡ sypnosis: you're not really sure why the sight of gyubin's eyes start to look different one day. they had your cheeks burning when he'd get even so much as a foot away from you despite him being your best friend, and they reminded you so much of honey when the light from the window hit them just right. you've slowly come to realize that the big brown eyes that belonged to the exhausting and annoying loser just might be the reason for your fast heart rate too.

— park gunwook ༉‧₊˚.

CONSEQUENCES ✿ | 2.1k | teeth rotting fluff, some angst, established relationship, boyfriend!gunwook

♡ sypnosis: your boyfriend is park gunwook. sweet. cute. couldn't hurt a fly. and you? a demon who wants to tick him off and see him jealous. gunwook doesn't play when it comes to his feelings, so naturally, you'll suffer the consequences-or maybe you won't. you're kinda his soft spot.

PROMISE | 2.0k | fluff, slight angst, sports fic, established relationship, boyfriend!gunwook

♡ sypnosis: star-football player park gunwook probably can't play for the rest of the season due to an injury sustained on the field. but more than that, your boyfriend park gunwook is in pain-and you'll hop fences, run past security, and go to the ends of the earth just to get to him; that's a promise.

— han yujin ༉‧₊˚.

2024 © lovepookie

♡ please do not plagarize, repost, copy or translate any of my works. thank you.

#. . . nanowrites #zb1 masterlist #zb1 au #zerobaseone fluff #zerobaseone masterlist #zerobaseone x reader #zb1 x reader #zb1 #zerobaseone #zb1 scenarios #zb1 fluff #zerobaseone fics #kim jiwoong #sung hanbin #zhang hao #seok matthew #kim taerae #kim gyubin #shim ricky #zb1 ricky #park gunwook #han yujin #zb1 x you #zb1 imagines #zb1 soft hours #zb1 reactions

[tarjapearce]

Hey, I wanna say i really really like the way you write fics. It feels??? Natural?? To read it?? Always an adventure everytime I read a fic of yours.

How do you write so good?? I'm a writer as well and I'd love to hear your tips and tricks ^^

First of all, I wanna thank you for liking the crap stuff I write. (Cause I'm genuinely amazed some times that people just like it and I'm not saying this because.)

⚠️⚠️LONG AND POSSIBLE CONTROVERSIAL ANSWER AHEAD ⚠️⚠️

It's kinda funny, ngl. Lemme tell you something, I don't know if you guys struggle with Impostor Syndrome a lot like me, but everytime someone gives a compliment like this my brain just goes into self sabotaging mode.

In the outside its :

But in the inside, my brain immediately goes:

Cause I'm aware that I can do better. (And we will ~) it's weird. I'm always striving to do better.

As for the tips and tricks, I'm surely not the right person to ask advice from 😅, but Imma just tell you this from what I experience and from my perspective (Hopefully won't get backlash from this, if not, R. I. P. me jsksj) Be warned though, it's kinda contradictory cause writing is hard yo!

1. You gotta read. Either books or whatever your favorite genre is, but you gotta read. I consume fan fics and non fanfics cause you learn from other people too. I read fanfics mostly to know new words, how the character develops and the like.

I read more spanish stuff than anything. Which I try to transfer to what I write.

2. I try to keep it as simple as possible. With that I mean to not over embellish words cause it gets boring and weird. Sure, everyone wants to make their fanfics pretty (nothing wrong in that) but sometimes I feel that less is more. Like, nothing wrong if you wanna poet the f- out of your fic. (THIS IS A DOUBLE EDGED ONE SO BE CAREFUL!!)

I mean there is a huge difference in reading:

"The anger and frustration on her way of living was taking a toll on her mind"

and:

"Her nemesism had muddled her mind into an endless spiral of what ifs and what not, and frankly if her mind could speak, it'd beg for a break."

It's hard to pick one style, but as long as you keep it consistent, I guess it's all good (?) (Funny cause I always aim for the second one and end up in the first jsksj and I dont even know myself if I'm keeping it consistent)

3. Get yourself a beta reader that doesn't coddle you. It helps alot!!!! Cause again, compliments sure are nice, but they don't tell you where you could get better. ✨( Unless the reader provides puntual feedback on what they liked and what not. Those are my favorites and a rare gem ❤️)

4. I know this one is hard because everyone at some point have done this. But IF YOU COMPARE yourself to other writers? You'll lose yourself. Not only you'll lose motivation cause you seem unable to write like them, but you will fall into this... vicious circle of self deprecating and burnout. And the self doubt sky rockets nonstop.

Everyone is different. Everyone learns in a different pace. Trust me, I wanted to make great stories with a good looking writing when I had the slightest idea of what I was doing (Still do!) 😂. Writing fanfics is not a competition to who writes more beautiful/good/professional than others. Or who has more notes or the most canon-stuck character, or the cause let's face it, none will get a character's personality to a 100%!!! (And that's ok cause it's fanfiction and we all have a different approach to the character either emotional or mental) .

Personally for me, the cockyest thing someone can do is to claim to know a character more than the creators themselves. Kinda rude for me, if you ask . Like, sure feeling a deep connection with a character doesn't mean it'll grant us instant access to their whole self. Characters just like us evolve. Either for the good or the bad, but they don't remain the same, so knowing them completely is a big fat lie. Unless stated by the creator. (But we're delusional in this site, so~)

I mean, sure characterization is something we all struggle since we guide ourselves by some of the character's most prominent traits and make them their default personality. (I've sinned in this jsksj so don't worry)

5. HAVE FUN AND TAKE BREAKS. I mean it. The favorite things I've written is where Im genuinely having fun writing it. But also after a well deserved rest. Cause if something doesn't feel right, it won't be right. And burnout is easier to get at than we actually think.

6. I recently started to follow writing advice blogs, one of my favorite @heywriters.

@she-who-fights-and-writes. (They have amazing writing resources, so does Pinterest and YouTube. Seize them!!!)

But yeah, I'm still an amateur on this, I make emphasis in the 5th one tho.

Hope this helps you? ;w;.

Love you❤️✨

Thanks for stopping by. ❤️

#talking with t✨ #personal takes #thoughts on my writing

[midnxght-sweet-time]

So now that Im practically free, I decided to work on my Prince Charming Au and other fic projects— mainly Prince Charming au-

I placed the Little Mermaid one on hold since Ive been on writers block on how to proceed with it (Sorry Azul simps) but continuing with that later I decided to atleast start working on Prince Ali of Ababwa (Jamil's story).

And thus began my revisit to Aladdin, both live action and animated film to get the feel of both perspectives.

Ngl tho the live action was pretty boring. I mean it had more action obvi but for the most part I almost slept thru. But HOT DAMN Will Smith (the genie's actor) was the whole star of the show.

As for the animated film— lmao okay lemme explain—

I managed to ask my friends to join me in watching Aladdin while playing a game of: "Take a shot everytime this possibly 30 yr old man trying to seduce an underage princess"

Jasmine in the animated film was confirmed underage btw look it up. SHES 15-

But oh boy. We did a total of 10 shots. 10 god forsaken shots.

But really. Youre telling me the glorious man himself- HIM-

Is based off THIS MAN?

My honest reaction:

#I SWEAR THE AMOUNT OF UNHINGED PICS I GOT FROM THE ANIMATED FILM WAS INSANE. #☕︎ . midnight talk #ꕥ . wonderland sweets ; prince charming au #🂱 . mioso speaking #Bro ppl be calling out the prince from snow white saying his 35 (idk if its a joke skwksksks) #WHAT ABT JAFAR BRO? HIS IN HIS 40S OR SMTHG #Bro ironically Jafar is like this ugliest villian to me lmao #BUT THEN OUT CAME JAMIL N I WAS LIKE NO WAY HIS BASED OFF JAFAR EXCUSE ME??? #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #twst jamil #twisted wonderland jamil #jamil viper #aladdín #aladdin #jafar #disney jafar #jasmine #aladdin jasmine

[fahbev]

Hi! Saw you jumped on the tim hate train, welcome to the club! Aplarently you're Damian fan, which is good bc hes also one of the characters who's hit by tim's..woobification? Victimization(???) while simultaneously being the bestest, most competent batfam member. You Damian fans honestly have my respect for the pure amount of shit Damian gets because of tim.

hi lmao. Thanks xD. I usually try to keep all my negativity off of the internet, but last night I was going the anti Tim drake tag bc my frustration was flaring up. At first i was collecting posts by liking them instead of rb, then I was replying, and then at some point... “Fuck it. I want this on my blog.”

(This is gonna be a ramble btw, I don’t care abt making a good post rn.)

I used to be fine with Tim! I think the whole thing was a lot less prominent in the dpxdc fandom bc DANNY was the fan favorite/community elected woobie, but then I kinda moved out and... well. It still took awhile for this issue to seep in bc those Tim fans (you know the ones) are certainly a minority, but I just don’t think you can be a Damian fan for longer than a few months without getting frustrated.

Nowadays I refuse to read anything tagged with any variation of “Tim Drake angst” that features the batfam. Timkon fics are usually just fine though.

Actually— recently? Shit’s been bothering me so bad that I don’t wanna risk reading fics that have Tim in the first relationship tag at all. He’s gotta at most be in the second one. Ship fics are again an exception, but I don’t tend to seek out ship fics much anyway.

But, like I said, I usually keep it to myself. Every time i catch myself venting in the tags I either screenshot the tags and delete, or I delete and retype them. I put them into a private notes document. I also journal in there a lot instead of posting it.

That document is pretty long.

I do wanna say that there’s nothing wrong with what tim fans are doing. It is fun to woobify your fave. It’s fun to prop them up and tear others down and make everything about your blorbo and it is harmless. I do it too (usually in my daydreams). It’s a fantasy, and that’s what fanfiction is for. People who act like it’s “problematic” are wrong. That doesn’t mean it’s not annoying. Because it is. It’s annoying as all fuck.

Also wanna mention that I once read a damian fic that like... started off with some delicious whump, but then it turned into a whole Damian pity party and it guilt tripped all his friends and family. Damian IS my blorbo and I couldn’t read that. I didn’t even know who Maps was at the time but it seemed so bizarre to throw her under the bus. Anyway I feel like that’s what a quite large portion of Tim fic is like except a bit less extreme.

I used to tell myself that “ohhh it’s just a rivalry. I’m sure Tim fans get the same shit in reverse all the time” but I literally NEVER see it in the other direction and spend the most of my time in Damian circles. The only time I see tim hate from damian fans is frustration at those particular fans in response to it or in response to favoritism of authors.

I mean i saw a good chunk of it last night, but what else can I expect from the anti tim drake tag?

It’s actually funny how most of the stuff in anti tags is polarized hate shitting on the character with a lot of bad takes, but in tims anti tag it was almost exclusively frustration from Damian and Jason fans, and usually pretty mild takes. Also people calling Tim boring.

Ngl, Idk much about Jason. I’m familiar with his fanon, but the only comic i’ve read that featured him in a major way was Gotham War. I don’t know him well, and I don’t have too much interest in him. However, I hate “Jason falls over in guilt and kisses Tim’s fingers begging for forgiveness” type posts in solidarity. It’s yucky.

Anyway, I didn’t even mean to get on this anti tim train you speak of, It just sorta leaked out of my vent doc. Don’t expect me to keep posting about it.

but also... don’t not expect it. It might happen.

Even so, my dms are absolutely open for Timothy Drake related frustration! I’m pretty tired of being nice to him.

#anti tim drake #ask #i may delete this later #i might also delete all my anti tim posts #i might also continue hating on him #depends on my mood #also lmao idr how much i rbed you but your blog was the source of so many of the anti tim posts

[teecupangel]

Hello! first time asker! I've only just recently got back into AC and you're pretty much the only AC blog I've followed so far (after reading your fantastic Eagle of Alamut fic) but the thing that happened to me seems very much something you'd enjoy.

Which is the Altair Jumpscare I got

to preface, I'm an ad blocker extraordinaire and put that on pretty much everything - except my mobile games. But even so, with how much i adblock the ads i DO get are very generic with very generic characters.

EXCEPT FOR ONE BIZARRE AD

A Tap-Away ad that for some inexplicable reason had Altair in it where he waved his arms like a wacky inflatable tube man and was then promptly sucked into the tapaway cube.

I was so caught off guard that i didn't nab a screenshot and I have been trying and failing to get him to show up again after 3 weeks of doing so much more Wordscape than I've ever had before to no avail😭

But it did spawn the idea of Desmond, with a burner/stolen phone, playing a mobile game and getting that Altair Jumpscare like i did which, with some digging by Rebecca because why the hell is he in an ad??? find a breach in Abstergo's database which they can exploit.

Welcome to the fandom! I hope you enjoy your stay (don’t mind the missing exit).

Aaahhh, Wordscape. I used to play you but then you keep interrupting my time with ads so I deleted you… like all the others who dared to give me ads that takes majority of the screen.

Ngl, I would have tried that game because it dared to show Altaïr to me. Then promptly delete it after a few hours XD

Alright, for this one, we’ll set it during AC2. He’s not that close to anybody yet so he sorta kinda stole Lucy’s burner phone while she was looking.

He always had a knack for stealing, probably the only thing that didn’t make William Miles say ‘again’ more than five times.

It only became so much easier when he started reliving Ezio’s memories.

The Bleeding Effect, right?

That’s what Lucy called it.

Regardless, Desmond figured it would be alright to play it anyway. It had a cell service and he always returned it to Lucy’s bag before she notices anyway.

It was during one of his free time (Rebecca said the Animus was acting fussy for some reason), he figured he can play one more level before they tell him to go back in.

The level wasn’t anything new, kinda funny that one of the words was ‘imprison’ and he got a bonus for trying out ‘prim’ (primo was a no go though and it took a moment before Desmond realized it was because it wasn’t English, fuck, was this the Bleeding Effect as well?. Just when he cleared it, the phone let out a loud static sound.

Which was weird because (1) the game’s audio was set to mute and (2) the phone itself was set to full silent with 0 volume on any kind of media.

They all turned to stare at him and he would have apologized, had he not heard someone shout his name coming from the phone.

“Desmond!”

It was Altaïr.

It could only be Altaïr.

The voice was the same voice he heard back in the Animus.

And he shouting at Desmond, staring at the screen as he slammed one hand against…

The screen?

Golden wisps wrapped around him, dragging him to the darkness behind him as he shouted, “Desmond! Find us! We’re-”

The ‘ad’ disappeared.

And Desmond was now staring at the next level.

He could clearly see one of the words was already filled out for some reason.

‘Breach’.

“Desmond…”

“Sorry, Lucy.” He handed the phone to Lucy as he said, “I was just playing ‘cause I was bored.”

Before Lucy could grab it, he pulled it back and pressed it over his chest as he asked, “Did you guys hear Altaïr too?”

“We heard him but, more importantly, Desmond…” Rebecca glanced at Lucy before she said, “None of us should have any phones at all. Abstergo could track us.”

“It’s not mine!” Lucy immediately said, taking a step back as she said, “I don’t know why you think that’s my phone, Desmond.”

“What?” Desmond blinked, “But… I took this from your bag…”

“Shit.” Rebecca’s eyes widened as she realized, “Did… Did Abstergo plant that in your bag, Lucy?”

“What?” Lucy turned to stare at Rebecca.

“That’s not possible. We’re the ones who brought that bag here, remember?” Shaun reminded Rebecca, “And we’re absolutely sure we didn’t put that phone there.”

“Then… who did?” Rebecca frowned as she mumbled.

“We need to get out of here.” Shaun said, “Desmond, turn that phone off and give it to Rebecca. She’ll check it.”

“Wait-”

“We don’t have to tell Bill about this.” Shaun said, “That phone could have easily given Abstergo our location. We need to move.”

Lucy’s eyes widened when Desmond gave the phone to Rebecca and she said, “We need to destroy it then. To keep us safe!”

“What? No!” Desmond stepped forward to cover Rebecca.

No.

To cover the phone.

“Altaïr just used it to contact me. We need to know how it was able to do that.”

“It’s a risk but he’s right, that Altaïr could have just as easily been a trap but we need to be sure.” Shaun was already taking down the papers on his corkboard as he said, “Come on, Lucy, let’s pack as quickly as we can. We can contact Bill on the move.”

Desmond frowned.

Lucy looked pale.

Was she afraid that Abstergo already knew their connection.

“Hey.” Desmond placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling her freeze. He smiled at her as he said, “We’ll be fine.”

His smile grew as he said, “I’ll kill any Templar coming our way, okay?”

#was the phone something that appeared due to the change of calculations? #was it lucy’s actual secret phone? #shrug #it is connected to abstergo’s network though #what is altaïr though? #shrugs again #he did say ‘we’ #so you know he’s not the only one trying to contact desmond XD #assassin's creed #desmond miles #altaïr ibn la'ahad #ask and answer #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #lucy stillman #rebecca crane #shaun hastings

[stellaluna33]

13. My favorite line of dialogue from this fic was [xyz]. What inspired it?

14. My favorite line from this fic was [xyz]. What inspired it?

Ngl - I've never read any of your stuff, because I've never actually WATCHED Gilmore Girls (i know... I'll see myself out).

BUT. Whats YOUR favourite lines of dialogue, or lines you've written from anything you've written, and why?

Aw, you're so sweet for asking! 😅

You're going to make me compliment myself, huh? Well, ok, haha. I'll be pulling stuff from my multi-chapter fic, The Long and Winding Road.

13. Favorite line of dialogue? This was hard for me, because even though I feel like I'm pretty good at writing dialogue for these characters, everything seemed kind of lackluster to me in isolation. But this is one I've always chuckled over even though absolutely nobody else has ever mentioned it to me. 😂 "Well, I was kind of in the mood for 'the Great Gatsby' today. You know, I can enjoy the fact that Leonardo DiCaprio finally looks like a grown man, and you can enjoy telling me how 50 Cent really captures the decadence of the Lost Generation…"

This line of dialogue was inspired by... my own feelings about Leonardo Di Caprio (I NEVER got the attraction back in his heartthrob days, haha) and Baz Luhrman's the Great Gatsby, and which of these characters I thought would agree with these opinions. I don't know, I just thought it seemed like something they would say. 😂

14. Favorite line? I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this one before, so people are probably bored of hearing it, but it's: Everything about him was uncontrolled and wild, and so were her feelings about him, and she was never entirely comfortable with that. Falling in love with Jess had been like being caught in a riptide and dragged out to sea. Dean had been the slippery rock she tried desperately to cling to, but her strength just gave out in the end. She could do nothing but drown.

I don't know, I just really like it, haha. I'm a visual artist first, a poet second, and a fiction writer only third, so I tend to think in images, symbolism, and metaphor a lot. I like it. And I have a longtime obsession with the sea, so I love a good maritime metaphor. I just think the ocean (something so huge, beautiful, powerful, and life giving, but also brutal and terrifying) and the way humans interact with it make for some really vivid comparisons to powerful human emotions. And it seemed like a good metaphor for what happened to these characters, that this was a character who liked being able to plan and control her own life, and this love was too inconvenient and too overpowering to allow her to do either of those things. And accepting it felt more like losing a fight than receiving a gift. Like, she wasn't happy about it, more exhausted and resigned. (And if you're thinking that's not a great setup for a healthy relationship, you'd be right! 😅)

(The questions are here if anyone wants to ask)

#Writing #The Long and Winding Road

[cloud-ya]

As a fellow hi3rd turned hsr player, how are we feeling about Star Rail now that some time has passed? I remember disliking it because new ppl wouldn't use Honkai Star Rail as the tag and would flood the HI3rd tag with a lot of "x reader" fics with the Star Rail men.

I dropped playing it after Seele's banner and haven't really felt a huge desire to progress past the Ice Planet. Idk, I worry that it'll go the Genshin route and become aimless and boring.

I do enjoy the designs a lot more than genshin's but still not as much as HI3rd. I like that we have an MC who doesn't feel completely unrelated to the story like how it feels in genshin, and Stelle actually talks instead of having a small flying companion speak everything for us.

Gameplay wise I think it is more fun than any of the previous games, but visually lacking a little. (Kind of biased here since I adore turn based combat) I guess I'm just waiting for the "WOW‼️" moment with this game.

Honkai Impact 3rd really won me over with the main cast of characters as well as the reveal with Sirin. I might not have loved every decision made along the journey of Part 1, but I never really felt bored or distanced from the story like I do with the other two games.

I've been playing Star Rail ever since its release, the only long breaks being between events and new patches because I didn't feel the need to grind constantly and I've been pretty burnt out for a while.

geez I surely do hate people who mess up the tags. it still happens, but on way lower frequency now I think. it's even more annoying when you wanna find one hi3 character with their very own tag but end up seeing just their HSR counterpart with messed up tags - big issue as a Murata Himeko enjoyer, smh.

the game is as if Honkai Impact and Genshin had a child. it's somewhere in-between in quality I guess, though it leans more towards HI3 (because it's a Honkai game, duh). the maps really be giving you this feeling of not-so-open open worlds from HI3. I guess the story is fine, though I've seen people saying it's rushed; ngl I was kinda surprised to see Jarilo-VI part being already concluded in just one version lol. I don't mind anything in the trailblazer, only that the trend of more and more gacha games deciding on the either full or partial self-insert with dialogue choice doesn't sit well with me.

while I'm not repulsed by the turn based combat I think I prefer the hack and slash combat of HI3, or just the types of combat that let you move freely. personally I try to have a taste of every combat type.

I love the most of HI3's part 1 too and while I lost interest in the story after HoV disappeared for good, the only thing that really bothered me besides the hov death bias was the finale which was soo damn rushed just to end before Star Rail's premiere, and other dumb things in it like the whole Ai-chan self-insert bullshit

#cloud has been asked

[potatoesfuelthesoul]

You ever just have the artistic need to revisit old fandoms? No? Just me ok

Ngl, have to say I really miss Yugioh, both as a story and just the early fandom. Story wise, there’s so much potential in Yugioh, and while I really love the anime and manga, there’s still so much to write about. Yugioh got dark at times, and I love seeing how dark some fanfiction artists can go with it, just exploring relationship dynamics and just the history of the Millenium Items. That’s not to mention the complexity of the characters in the show and their actions involving literal murder/attempted murder, brainwashing, mutilation, themes of depression/ptsd, and a lot more (that’s just the literal anime and manga too)

But!! Most importantly, I miss what could have been for Bakura, both the TK/Zorc Bakura, and Ryou. Ryou was such a background character despite being a character with his own spirit that had its own intentions throughout the entirety of the series. He was such a sweet character that deserved so much more screen time and more development. Maybe some more explanation/story about his deck or his past, or even more about how he struggled with the ring.And, despite him serving a key role for the big bad (Yami Bakura/Zorc) he was just pushed to the background as a barley present character. Plus, still wish Yami Bakura got some kind of redemption arc, even as “villainous” as his character was, seeing as he was just as much a victim of Zorc as everybody else (plus having to watch his family die as a child, and being stuck with a literal god of darkness for 3 millennia, feel like he should have got retribution of some sort)

Idk, probably just me. So, being bored and all, I’m attempting to write a redemption fic, so we’ll see how that goes. Thus, random Yugioh fanart filled with our favorite characters + some OC work for story. Story is called Emissary of Ra on ao3 if anyone wants something to read. Its not the greatest and starts off mainly oc centric, but I’m hoping that it turns out pretty decent and well updated in the coming months 👍👍

#Yugioh #yami marik #marik ishtar #yami bakura #thief king bakura #fanart #procreate #novice artist #novice writer #oc art #yugioh fandom #fanart for fanfic #my attempts at drawing anime characters with braids #been writing this since 2020 #yu gi oh

[intrepidacious]

time after time: reread edition [1]

series summary: After what starts out as a fairly normal mission, you find yourself stuck in a time loop. Which would already be bad enough in itself if it didn’t also mean having to watch Bucky die over and over again.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 6.0k

chapter warnings: canon-typical violence, accidentally starting a time loop, banter, pretty angsty to start us off with ngl, reminder to read the fic premise. please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

read the full chapter here | series masterlist | reread masterlist

wouldn't you know it, it's friday already!! this is a reread of already published chapters, so if you're new to this story, i would highly suggest not starting here and reading the actual story first. please be aware that by clicking the read more you're gonna see spoilers for chapter one 💚

how it started

welcome to the reread. i'm pretty sure this is the part of the post i'll only do once, but we'll see how it goes.

i swear to god, i only wanted to write a fun little time loop fic. it was never supposed to be this huge thing; it just kept growing. it's two years later now and i'm still writing—granted, that's after taking several long breaks because this story gives me headaches like no other, but still. i've never poured this much love into one story, i think.

and we can all blame russian doll for it.

turn back the clock – tl;dr

we start with a mission. sam, bucky and the reader, soon-to-be nicknamed twelve, are checking up on a secret lab. against all odds, bucky gets killed right before the fight seems to be won. twelve uses her time powers to prevent this from happening, loses consciousness and wakes up in her bed earlier that day. she goes through the entire day again, thinking her reset worked as intended, only for bucky to die in a different situation during the same mission and her waking up in her bed again.

behind the loop

welcome to my first running commentary on my own story. you’re gonna be sick of me really soon.

depending on how new you are to this story, you might not know that the chapter titles are all taken from movies. sadly i haven't seen most of them but the ones i have seen do feature a little in one way or another. more about that when we get to that point, though. the title cards for this story were also so fun to make because i just recoloured the actual movie posters!!

i’m gonna be honest with you, i keep forgetting that this first flashback exists. but i lowkey love it?? i like how it sets the tone for the angst that’s stitched into the very fabric of this story while simultaneously being juxtaposed with the first actual, very blunt introduction of our main cast.

the start of that mission was one of the first things i ever wrote for this fic, but the whole transition from the upstairs lab to downstairs and the actual fight scene were the last parts before posting.

“Do you think I’d pass up the opportunity to hear the two of you scream in terror when the vampire puppets creep up on you?” “Gotta disappoint you, cap,” you grin and wait for him to check the map. “I only scream when there’s good reason.” “I don’t wanna interrupt,” Bucky interrupts over the intercom, “but they’re heading your way now, so get a move on.”

writing banter is one of my all-time favourite activities. i also already knew at this point that i was gonna write a lot of it over and over again, and so i needed to vary the interjections in order to not bore everyone to bits. i like to think it worked out, but you tell me.

my beloved nightmare flashmob was such a fun antagonist to include. they will be named in the next chapter but if there are comic readers among you, i feel like i have to apologise because i definitely haven’t read enough of them to properly do these guys justice. they did seem like a logical step up from the version of the flag smasher(s) we encountered in tfatws, though. plus, there’s just enough of them to be a realistic threat to three very capable superheroes.

And then his eyes glaze over. You scream.

i’m so evil lmao

You wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume.

spoiler alert, you’ll encounter that sentence a couple of times. and i still love it. fun fact, i genuinely set my playlist to shuffle to decide on the song that was going to play to wake her up, and this was the one i landed on. and i couldn’t have come up with a better choice. honestly, look at the lyrics and tell me i’m wrong. i love how things work out sometimes.

originally, the decision to set the story on july 4th was very practical because i needed my available settings to be limited. this isn’t punxsutawney, pennsylvania in the middle of a snowstorm, this is new york city after the blip. i wanted our characters to have at least somewhat limited options what to do during their ever-repeating day. (on a sidenote, do you think we’ll ever see avengers compound again in the mcu? how long are they going to rebuild that thing? anyway.)

“Feels a little … déjà-vu-y.” “I know the type,” Sam says. “Wanna talk about it?” You do. But the time stuff is your problem to deal with, and so you shake your head.

isn’t it great to have a full ensemble of characters who absolutely will not talk about their feelings to each other? (derogatory) is it more interesting from a narrative point of view? … i suppose.

i love twelve’s rings though. are they entirely useless for the duration of this loop? maybe. but i love that she has them to physically show her how stuck she is <3 other things that i love: bucky calling sam bud. it just makes sense.

A surge of emptiness goes through you, unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Time seems to still for just the blink of an eye as Bucky’s head is thrown forwards.

and there we have it. ✨dread.✨ this is such an evil way to end a chapter, wow. i had fun, though. was it fun for you?

how it's going

well, actually. i've been writing chapter seven as well as a secret bonus chapter this week, and i've made reasonable progress on both which i'm quite proud of. i really hope i can report that i got started on chapter eight this time next week, but we'll see. i think the worst of my writer's block is gone, at least. and all it took was a little self-indulgence and an external deadline. who'd have thunk.

if you made it to this point of my rambles, thank you. lmk how i can keep these interesting for you to read, and if you have any questions about the story, you know where to find me!! also: please please please consider leaving a comment or a reblog on the actual chapter. it would mean the world 💚

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes series #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfic #time after time

[tokkias]

What is your favourite fic of yours you have done and why?

okay that's actually a really hard question because i'm not one of those people who hates everything they write, i actually like a lot of what i write and i have sooooo much of it. i literally have 77 nalu fics rn that's too many

i think about this a lot but the answer literally changes all the time and i cannot settle on just one so i will give you a handful even though i know that's cheating but i don't want to give you a boring answer

i don't want to be your friend (i want to kiss your lips) an early banger. i very specifically remember having vivid thoughts of the scene where gray is like "yo are you okay? this is weird" to lucy. it was the first fic i felt like i really executed the idea exactly how i wanted to. i also hold a lot of fondness for it because i know that a lot of people love the jealous lucy trope but don't like the villainisation of "the other woman" and i'm really happy to be able to give those people an option. it's also one of jodi's favourite fics so i like to go "hehe jodi <3" when i think about it

what you mean to me kind of an underrated banger ngl??? another early idea that i remember having such vivid ideas for but as opposed to the last one, i feel like it ended up turning out different from how i originally envisioned it. sometimes that's a bad thing but i think with this one it turned out better than i could have hoped for. i think it's just a really unique concept that was executed in a fun, silly, fluffy way. i'm really proud of it and i hope more people read it

under your hands (i come undone) i did this as a warmup request for hannah that just got out of control??? i had just finished reading some really good rvb fic by an author i admired at the time (but now realise was entirely up their own ass but c'est la vie i suppose) and i had been really inspired by their portrayal of male vulnerability during sex and i wanted to do something with that. i had asked for requests in the aan server and i can't remember what exactly it was but i remember things just falling into place between the prompt and my need to write a truly vulnerable natsu during smut. this fic has some of my rawest lines ever and i think it's pretty great

ten baby dragons (or less) i have no recollection of what inspired this but i remember thinking to myself "can i write a fic in one sitting?" and then i wrote this. i feel like the "i want ten of these" line was inspired but like a nahdie art from back in the day? i'm certain it wasn't an original line but i just had to yoink it. usually i'm not one for kidfics but with nalu i just feel like it really works for them and i love writing about natsu's internal dialogue and his wants and needs and how they change over time. natsu grows a lot as a person over the course of the series and i love exploring that and i think this fic was a fun, cute execution of that

what it feels like to fall in love september was really the start of when i started feeling just shitty garbage poopoo about my writing and i just felt like i couldn't do it, everything i wrote was bad, felt like i had peaked etc. etc. now looking back i realised what triggered this was actual real trauma i had been through over the past year so i don't blame myself too much but this was the one fic i was like. oh i can still write and i can still write well. it was sort of based on this old "do you believe in soulmates?" ficlet i had written a few months before and i felt like this was the evolved version of that. it also helps that i got a lot of really positive feedback on this one in a time where i was struggling really badly with my worth as a person and a writer so this fic sort of represents a sense of hope for recover for me as i try to grapple with the lingering effects of what happened to me

#mya's mumbles #asks #anonymous #this was a lot of fun thank you for the ask :] #i appreciate it