Horror isekai where Perceiving the Weird Eldritch Thing gets you catapulted into a nightmare labyrinth of puzzle-solving.
I.e Those Who Perceive The Hunt of the Goblin King Must Partake In The Labyrinth and Can Only Be Freed If They Complete It In One Day and One Night. By Fae Law. For Reasons.
But the definition of “perception” clearly needs to be updated because some normal guy simply films the Hunt of the Goblin King Behind Arby’s, and puts it on Facebook -
No, not instagram or TikTok, it’s important that it be Facebook -
Because the rules are pretty clear, “the rules are the rules” as is carved ominously in elvish runes above the grim gate, and the Contract is Sealed. and so therefore the guy and 25 of their most random real-life acquaintances must run the gauntlet together. It’s Some Guy, their immediate neighbors, their first partner’s mom, their friends from hobby Facebook groups (oh this poor guy and their hobbies; the elderly birdwatchers from Facebook and the young up-and-coming drag king community), their random teen kid niece, college friends, a dog who also watched the video, a couple consisting of a woman who is the guy’s Facebook friend and showed her husband the video, and the husband doesn’t even know Some Guy, so he’s in the labyrinth and absolutely furious about being forced to be involved, and they proceed to break up over the course of the puzzle.
It’s important that the narrative keeps trying to be a sexy dark horror isekai! but within this the comedic reality of Catherine, 52, the guy’s horse-riding instructor, being passionately involved in escape-room-style puzzle solving and grappling with minor goblins. They are in fact speedrunning the gauntlet.
The Goblin King finally has to say: all right, actually, I only really set all this up to fuck with one (1) guy at a time, thanks for your willingness to participate, but I think all 25 of you can consider the gauntlet fully run.
And the group would be quite hurt by that. The rules are the rules. We have a contract, actually. Let Catherine cook.
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Transcendence AU Dash Simulator GO!!!
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🌟 lesbianstellaconifer Follow
okay but actually block me if you ship mizcor -- 'hurr durr but we age stella up' -- SHUT UPPP she's literally a minor and alcor's canonically over a million years old so how about you stop being a freak
🎩 woodsmans-left-nipple Follow
Babe I hate to break this to you but Mizcor's literally one of the most famous relationships in all of post-transcendental literature
🌟 lesbianstellaconifer Follow
I could not have more obviously been talking about Mizar the Magnificent but you know what? Yeah classic Mizcor supporters can fuck off too actually.
Everybody likes to whip out Twin Souls like some kind of gotcha but have you even actually read it??? Like it's literally supporting demon worship and pedophilia -- both of which are EXTREMELY ILLEGAL btw. So yeah if I see any of my followers reblogging that shit I'm reporting you to the Occult Defense Agency idc if we're mutuals
🐟 demonologyturnedmegay Follow
*looks at my Alcorian Literature PhD* guess we better stock up on prison shivs buddy
🍃 haveyouseenmylibrary Follow
okay I'm sorry but
and Mizar the Magnificent isn't????
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📷 nature-pics-daily
Los Angeles 🏝️
#sunken city of los angeles #new california #travel #ocean #photography #lmao i almost got eaten by a kelpie trying to take this pic pls reblog it
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🧁 definitely-mizar Follow
Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that The Scepter of Vanquished Souls, the newest book in the Wanderlust Trilogy, is now available for pre order on Glamazon!
Purchasers of the hard-cover edition will also receive never-before-seen content, including a deleted scene between Princess Samia and the Shadow King!
🤷♂️ not-not-ian-beale Follow
Boosting because I honestly cannot recommend this book enough. Truly one of Mira's best (and I'm not just saying that because she married me!)
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⚠️ alv Follow
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
You are the 6 billionth user to log into Jumblr today!! This means you are eligible to win a FREE WACBOOK PRO!!!! Click here to claim your prize and win BIG BIG REWARDS!!
#twin souls #mizar #alcor #mizcor #twin souls: reawakened #twin souls: breaking circles #twin souls: newest moon #twinner #twincon3015 #not a scam
Based on your likes!
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🌞 azarath-metrion-zinthirst Follow
So. I had a day.
📖 stanley-pines-memorial-library Follow
Okay, but consider
🌞 azarath-metrion-zinthirst Follow
I don't remember my older brother's wedding
📖 stanley-pines-memorial-library Follow
A small price to pay for no middle school trauma
🐧 selkiebael Follow
Okay so I just read the url and--
Asfdksfjk go off you funky lil intern
📖 stanley-pines-memorial-library Follow
I'm actually the senior librarian. But thanks!
🐈 alcorphabetical Follow
Posts that have 10k notes. To me
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🔮 demonoftheday Follow
Today's demon of the day is Nxlar the Antithetical! Responsible for the Florida Springs Massacre of 3007, the body count for this purveyor of madness is estimated to be over 400 (source).
🐸 that-one-half-elf-bitch
I could fix her
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🍑 lookingformygnomequeen Follow
literally screaming crying throwing up rn I've turned off 'Based on your likes' like eight times @staff can't you just get rid of him already
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🎤 rosaslittleredboots Follow
#i accidentally set my alchemy textbook on fire today and i don't even care AAAAAA this is going to be amazing #northwest mansion mystery #pacifica northwest #rosa darling #im about to be so insufferable about this just you wait
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👹 sexiestdemon3015bracket Follow
🐸 that-one-half-elf-bitch
Nxlar SWEEEEEP!!!
#if you love me at all you'll vote for my lady love #LISTEN i could bring her to the light i nkow i could
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👻 sweetthingsaremadeofdeeznuts
Lmao so Nxlar the Antithetical totally turned my apartment complex into a pile of sentient sludge yesterday. I'm fine -- I was at work when it all went down, but uh... yeah, my situation obviously just became super not-great. I hate to ask, but I don't get paid til the 15th, so if some of y'all could float me some cash just so I can get a motel room for a couple nights, I'll fr owe you a life debt
Goal: 0/250
FundFriend
LenMo
#fuck demons fr #like seriously what'd i ever do to them 😭😭😭 #mutual aid #pls boost #don't tag as donation
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🏳️⚧️ gliesssse Follow
Important PSA
So idk if y'all have been reading the news lately, but the alcor virus has been making the rounds on the interwebs again. I feel like I shouldn't have to say this but PLEASE don't click any random links rn, ESPECIALLY if they're tagged with twin souls.
I know we twinners love to joke about it, but the alcor virus is legitimately dangerous and has been known to seriously ruin people's lives. Idk. Just like be smart and practice basic caution I guess? Jumblr's pretty much dead these days, so he might skip over us, but it's always better to be safe than sorry
⚠️ alv Follow
This is a good point! It is always better to be safe than sorry! That's why if you're smart, you'll click here for a list of ways to virus-proof your computer. Stay safe out there everybody!
Based on your likes!
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🌲 discogirl99 Follow
Anyone else just randomly crave connective tissue sometimes
🧁 sparkle-glitter-sideblog
no actually i think that might just be a you thing
#also i heard screaming on the other line when i called you earlier there better not be a mess when i get home #beloved demon brother tag
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👑 sameeya
Okay guys I might be crazy but what if the Shadow King was actually telling the truth when he said Princess Samia's brother is still alive??? Like, if you think about it, there's a tonnnn of foreshadowing in Crown of Ghosts and the author tweeted that there was gonna be a surprise twist in the new book sooo 👀👀
#i've connected the dots -- YOU DIDN'T CONNECT SHIT -- i've connected them #wanderlust trilogy #mira ramachandran #crown of ghosts #scepter of vanquished souls #princess samia #samia of cleves #shadow king #ahmed of cleves #bookblr
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🪨 professionalnatural-deactivated30141227
Reminder that you are beautiful exactly as you are and there are thousands who would sell their souls to imitate what you do naturally <3
👠 mizarsfrillypetticoat Follow
I actually really needed this today 💗
🦇 plsbytemevladdyzaddy Follow
Yo quit reblogging this op is a blatant human supremacist
🪨 professionalnatural-deactivated30141227
And? No one cares lmao
⚠️ alv Follow
Enjoy deactivation. Lmao.
🪓 wenda-was-a-lesbian-confirmed Follow
🕵🏻♂️ alcor-in-the-tardis Follow
#I sent screenshots of that one centaur post to her boss too #give you two guesses what species his wife is (tags by @alv)
Holy shit. Am I actually rooting for the alcor virus rn?
🍄 warioxreader Follow
maybe the real virus was the friends we made along the way <3
⚠️ alv Follow
No, the real virus is me. Don't take credit for my accomplishments.
🐲 retiredbus Follow
Heritage post
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🐔 old-friends-senior-griffin-sanctuary Follow
I just want to get dicked down again =/
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UNNECESSARY AND UNHINGED RANT ABOUT CINDERELLA'S CHARACTER FROM CINDERELLA (2015) INCOMING
Lemme talk about Cinderella from Cinderella (2015) for a bit actually yeah because these changes to my girl completely baffle me
She has friends now
Goes outside on her own
Says the only reason why she's staying is because it's her parent's house- bruh.
All of this takes away (+ more reasons down the cut) from the true cruelty of OG!Cinderella's backstory and how it all connects so well to inform you of her character and the actions she takes
OG!Cinderella has been indoctrinated into accepting her life as a maid to her step family since she was a small child. She is never seen going outside of the house besides the night at the ball. The only friends she had were random animals around her she couldn't even fully converse with. She had no other human perspective on her situation or how to get out of it. It makes sense why she's just taking her stepmother's tyranny while holding everything in because this isolation and neglect is all she knows. This is the entire limited scope of her world. A sad reality to many cases of abuse in real life.
And they just. Erased all of this for some. Reason???
The night at the ball was a big deal because she literally NEVER gets to go out. This is the only time she interacts with the outside world aside from the ending. The impact of that was HUGE in the original movie. The new one just cheapened that imo by implying she goes out in town and talks to others regularly. This event was an impossible, fantastical dream come true to someone who is never treated as anything but a servant to everyone she knows.
Basically OG!Cinderella has it way worse which is what makes the ball such a huge deal in the first place.
Third point I don't think I need to explain how Cinderella staying in her abusive home bc the house is "hers to love now that her parents are dead" is not a good character change and doesn't make sense. I would understand if her dad was alive and insisting on staying, but he is GONE. It is a building you grew up in sure, but that's all it is. Not something you sacrifice your wellbeing for. So that's a shit reason they didn't need to make up to say why this character is stuck in her abusive household. The isolation and years of gaslighting were enough. (Also showing how much of a frightening presence and manipulative villain Lady Tremaine is.)
And she sure left it quick after getting hitched lol
The Fairy Godmother having the audacity to test Cinderella with that "oh I'm a poor old woman and I want some milk please" nonsense
Not very godmotherly of her in this version. 🥴 The Fairy Godmother appeared in the original to offer pure comfort to Cinderella in a time of desperate need, when this resilient and kind spirit finally reached her breaking point. The dress, slippers, pumpkin carriage, and magic were all given freely as a present to make her feel better at least for one night.
Meanwhile this goofy ass Godmother has the audacity to be like "hey is she gonna be nice or not even though she's crying in tattered, recently destroyed clothing- I need to see that or else she doesn't get the magic juice". Like why did this become a way to test her morality all of a sudden? Why did you need something from her to give up the magic goods?? It's not even a good test she just walked a couple steps and poured some milk in a bowl,,,
Idk man they made their relationship transactional for no reason which taints the original purpose of this scene imo. The original Fairy Godmother already KNEW Cinderella was kind without having to make sure by disguising herself as a rancid old lady. 😭 Weird and unnecessary addition.
Kinda nitpicky here but this film did not at all match the terror of the torn dress scene which really shows you how horrifying and humiliating it was to Cinderella
Comparison
AND THE BIGGEST OFFENDER: THE WAY SHE "ESCAPED".
I NEED TO TAKE A BREATH
BECAUSE LIKE. WHAT WAS THAT.
Original Cinderella, seeing a real chance of escape from her abuse, uses everything in her possession to do so. She's yelling for the mice to get the key, to get Bruno to chase away the cat, running down to meet the prince's attendants to make sure they get the proof of her identity from her- and that moment she oh-so-casually pulled out the second slipper??? SEEING HER STEPMOTHER'S SLACKED JAW??? GAGGED US ALL.
ICONIC
But 2015. Bitch. What is going on. She gets locked up and easily accepts her doom. She just twirls and sings in her prison like a dunce because cINDerELLa wAs aLReADy cONTenT wIth her sMaLL mOMEnts oF hAPPIneSs anD dREamS wItH thE pRinCE.
Just. Gives up.
Not the mice begging her to get up and save herself come on now
The mice have to do their best on their own to push open her window so the prince and his crew hear her on time.
And yeah, all she had to do was open a window.
WHAT. WHY. HOW. WAS THIS??? MORE EMPOWERING???
1950: use your brain to fight to the very end
2015: quit while you're still ahead, or don't try you just gotta dance and sing all pretty then someone will come along and save you
I'm sorry, but for a production that was so critical of the notion of "Cinderella just waited around for a prince to save her"...is that not literally what they changed the ending to?
You wanna talk about lack of agency in princess stories well here you go 😭
You know what's sad about all this in the end is this is still the best recent live action Disney remake imo LOL
Anyways hello if you've made it all the way down here I rest my case
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Perhaps reader taking Danny’s virginity and one of his brothers walks in? (i’m a bit of a voyeur but if that makes you uncomfortable, just reader taking his virginity) kisses! <3
caught | danny cooper <3
a/n: sooo, ive watched intruders about a million times, yk cuz i like to sit through the worst movies possible, none of those three other guys were dannys brother 👀 so im gonna make em roommates mwahaha
18+ content ahead, pure and absolute filth!!please don't read unless your comfortable with that!!
he's the blushiest little mess in the world omg. kissing you super softly, and then you deepen it, making him a bit more shy
you pulled away for a second, asking if he wants to keep going, n he finally tells you that he's still a virgin >///<
so ofc, you tell him that it doesn't matter and that you can help him out
one thing leads to another, and your slowly undressing each other (more like your the one taking both of your clothes off 🤫)
he's a lil anxious, biting his lower lip ever so slightly as his eyes never leave you, except for when you look at him, he's shy :(
soon enough, your riding him. you started off slow for his sake, but both of you got needy
sloppy kisses being exchanged with one another as your both moaning, your praising him n telling him just how good he's doing, calling him your good boy and allll that <3
your so lost in one another that neither of you hear dannys bedroom door opening
"dan? ya gotta pair of socks i could borrow..?"
it was vance or whatever his name is :<
danny was already a mess underneath you, but now he feels absolutely humiliated!! under you, moaning like a bitch wasn't anything he wanted his roommate seeing
vance kinda just, stands there, staring at what he walked in on. then you yell at him and tell him to go :3
danny is sooo much more flustered after that, of course he still wants to keep going, he's just stuttering a whole bunch more 🫶
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