#this episode hurt me in ways I didn’t even know possible | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

erospandemos · 4 months

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Winter's mission

Aespa Winter x Reader

Winter finds your secret diary and most importantly, your secret bucket list. Upon the discovery, she decides to fulfil every possible desire. The problem, however, is that every aspiration revolves around Winter herself.

Minjeong and you agreed to do a marathon to watch the whole drama you had both been saving up to watch. Your friend came to your house right before lunch so you could start eating with the first episode. It was just like the other times: she promised she wouldn’t get too invested and after two episodes she’d start screaming from frustration when the main leads were this close to kissing but backed away. You’d be laughing and she’d be yelling at you because it was a serious matter.

In the late afternoon, Minjeong got hungry. She begged you to get her favorite snack, the pepero sticks. You bought them two weeks ago and put them somewhere in your kitchen but didn’t remember at all. Still, your friend wanted one thing and one thing only. You tried to refuse but when she showed you her googly eyes and puffed her cheeks, you gave in. She was just too cute.

So you stood up and reluctantly made your way to the kitchen.

However, you made a big mistake by leaving the room without checking the stuff on your table, most notably your diary. Minjeong saw it clearly, the weathered journal peeking out from under a pile of books on the bedside table. She knew it wasn’t a notebook because she’d been your friend long enough to have memorized all your preferences and you were too cheap to buy such a nice diary.

Curiosity piqued, she hesitated for a moment to think if she should do it or not. She chewed her lower lip, with a light sense of guilt. You were gone to find some hidden and forgotten snack, so it should have been long enough—she had enough time. The more she waited, the more dangerous it was.

Minjeong made up her mind. She lifted the books and took out the notebook. She sat cross-legged on your bed, ready to reveal your secrets. As she contemplated opening it, a rush of adrenaline hit her veins, causing her heart to quicken and her muscles to tense up. She hasn’t even read a single letter yet but sweat was already dripping down her back.

“I probably shouldn't be doing this, but... what's the harm?” she whispered to herself, sighing deeply. “Okay, just a peek. It won’t hurt anyone.”

Minjeong took one last deep breath, her fingers trembling slightly as she started to open the diary. The creak of the leather seemed to echo in the room, she was alone. She started reading the entries, a mix of doodles, random thoughts, and personal reflections.

Some of the pages only had silly ramblings like how you noticed a game’s sale too late and had to pay 5 dollars more. Minejong giggled lightly but the adrenaline was still there. Her breathing became shallow, her gaze scanning the words on the page. As she flipped through the pages, she stumbled upon an entry that caught her off guard.

She raised her eyebrow as she started reading it:

SATURDAY 21 OCTOBER, 2023 I’m pretty sure Minjeong is playing with my heart. She’s been acting a lot more touchy lately. She was hugging my arm, hugging me and constantly touching me. She hugged me before as well since we’re friends but it just feels different these days. It’s probably because I’m a boy and she’s a girl. Even if we’ve been friends for a long time, she’s too cute for me to ignore. I think I like her. My heart beats faster when she’s around. I get nervous and fidgety. I’ve never felt like this before. It’s quite weird.

Winter's cheeks flushed with a mixture of surprise and excitement. Her curiosity took over her, she had to know. She had to know more.

TUESDAY 7 NOVEMBER, 2023 I almost had a heart attack when I saw Minjeong with someone else. They were acting so friendly and I just felt my heart shrink. I’m not attractive compared to them. Maybe I should go to the gym. But that wouldn’t change my face, would it? Dear Diary, I really really like her.

“Wait, this is all about me?” Minjeong whispered to herself. She skimmed through the stupid entries and found even more pages about herself. She covered her mouth, blushing madly. “Oh my… I had no idea.” She couldn’t help but smile and continue flipping through the pages.

TUESDAY 14 NOVEMBER, 2023 Minjeong is back at it again. I’ve met her eyes a couple of times today and it was simply enchanting. The way her face lit up when our eyes connected mate my heart skipped a beat. She looks honest. Happy and amazing. I wish I could see her eyes every day, see every feeling in her pupils, knowing she wouldn’t be afraid to hide anything from me. Of course, I’d do the same. Minjeong is already a great friend, she’d be a great girlfriend as well. I thought about confessing for the first time. It was really a stupid thought. There is no way someone like her would accept me. I’m just a bum. I don’t even like myself, why would she? Eventually, someone will come and take her away, I just have to accept it. I love you, Minjeong.

WEDNESDAY 22 NOVEMBER, 2023 Am I a pervert for looking at Minjeong’s legs? My eyes were glued to her thighs. Maybe for a couple of minutes. Yeah, that’s definitely too much.

Minjeong glanced down at her shorts and bear legs and suddenly she felt too exposed. She regretted wearing such revealing clothes.

MONDAY 27 NOVEMBER, 2023 I want to love Minjeong properly. She’s such a perfect girl. I want her to feel loved. I’d cuddle and hug her a lot if she was my girlfriend. I daydreamed in class instead of listening to the literature lesson and this thought came to me: Minjeong backhugging me. That’s it. That’s the thought. It was enough to make me a blushing mess. Dear Diary, I have a problem.

Minjeong didn’t feel exposed anymore, she just felt warm and flustered. “You silly…” Minjeong said. She glanced around, making sure no one was watching, then hugged the diary close to her chest. “I never knew you felt this way…”

Fearing that you might be coming back, Minjeong thought that she had read enough and it was time to put it away. She just stood up and was about to put the diary back on the desk when a piece of paper fell out. It looked like it was sandwiched between the hardcover and the last page. She picked it up from the ground and read it.

BUCKET LIST Go on a date with Minjeong (skating?) Watch the starry sky Touch Minjeong’s cheeks Top marks Try skiing Confess Kiss MinHold Minjeong’s hand

Minjeong didn’t have the time to put it away when she heard your steps. She just stuffed the diary under the books and kept the paper in her pocket.

Minejong quickly recollected herself. She straightened out the few messy strands and the wrinkled clothes. She took a deep breath and shook off the agitation, anything could have been suspicious in your eyes. You weren’t dumb—although you weren’t exactly smart either—so Minjeong had to be extra careful. That said, she had to think of a way to put the little paper back in place because surely you would have noticed the next time you were going to write about how fantastic the latest wrestling match you watched was.

“Here you go,” you said, throwing Minjeong the box of pepero. “You had me looking everywhere for those… fortunately they were still good.”

Minjeong smiled, picking up the box from her lap, a natural grin on her small lips. “Thank you, you’re amazing.”

You had no words to reply but only another smile. You exhaled, letting your body drop lifeless on the bed, beside your friend. The episode was still at the 26:56 mark, and you were recollecting what happened previous to the still frame.

“Oh, by the way, I also got a bag of chocolates,” you said. You took the plastic bag you left on the corner of the folded covers. It was full of those little bite-sized chocolates you’d buy to decorate your tables in the living room when someone was coming over during the winter; or for a bunch of kids. But you got the smaller version, which also cost a couple of bucks more because it was of “fine quality”.

“No way!” she said, letting go of the pepero, forgotten like it never meant anything to her. You looked at the Oreo-looking box and blinked a few times. Why did it feel so relatable?

“You know I love chocolate!” she exclaimed.

“Yeah, that’s exactly why I bought it,” you said.

When you pressed the space bar on your laptop and the episode restarted, the room fell into a comfortable silence. You could only hear the dialogues coming from the speakers and Minjeong cutely munching on her peperos. You were grinning widely, having more fun staring at the hamster beside you than the scenes on the screen themselves.

Minjeong on the other hand, wasn’t exactly happy. Sure, the joy from her discovery was still lingering in her mind but so was the shock. The crunchy sticks of chocolate and biscuit took the roles of her nails, on which she nervously munched without stop, box after box. She would steal glances at you from time to time, and seeing you smile so happily, laughing and passionately talking to her, made her feel things she had never felt before.

She wasn’t sure if it was indigestion or butterflies in her stomach, but the thing was, Minjeong couldn’t focus on the screen at all. Her mind was still processing the revelations from the secret diary, she tried to act nonchalant, and fortunately, you couldn’t see her well, but her cheeks were betraying a faint blush.

“The cat is so round, it looks like a bag of potatoes, don’t you think?” you laughed.

“Y-yeah,” she whispered. Winter cleared her throat, “So, what do you think will happen next in the drama?”

“What do you mean? They’re like—they’re gonna kiss. Look at the romantic tension. I bet it’s gonna be a cliffhanger.”

“Right, right…” Minjeong continued to stare at the screen. Didn’t the protagonists kinda look like you and her…? She swore they were very similar at that moment. Somehow she could see herself in the shoes of the girl, while you could have been the protagonist, with that manly shoulders and features—ehem—you had the same eyes. Yes, that’s exactly what Minjeong was thinking, or at least, that’s what she wanted to think.

The protagonists, Ji-hoon and Soo-mi, stood close, their eyes filled with emotions, concealed, to the point of overflowing. Just like her and you. Ji-hoon tenderly reached out, cupping Soo-mi's face in his hands. With a soft smile, he gently brushed a loose strand of hair from her forehead, his touch lingering. His fingers looked very gentle, you always have been gentle too, maybe if it was you doing, it would feel…

“Minjeong.”

“What?!” The girl squirmed lightly, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly self-aware. The romantic scene felt really closer than usual and her facade was slowly falling.

“I think it’s about to happen,” you said, still keeping your eyes attached to the screen. “They’re gonna kiss, I feel it.”

“Uh,” Minjeong started, terribly awkward. “These romantic scenes are always so... uh, intense, right?

“What do you…” you turned around and saw her heated cheeks. You looked at her and raised an eyebrow. The corner of her mouth twitched. “You're blushing, Minjeong. Are you sure you're okay?”

“Me? Blushing?” she fumbled. “No, I'm perfectly fine. It's just... you know, the drama.”

On the screen, the air crackled with tension as Ji-hoon kept cupping Soo-mi's face, his eyes searching hers for consent. Without words, their lips finally met in a tender yet passionate kiss. Time seemed to stand still as the world faded away, leaving only the sweet symphony of their hearts and the intoxicating warmth of the embrace.

Minjeong was watching everything but the kiss.

“You're not usually this flustered,” you observed. Minjeong’s behavior was really weird. You looked back at the screen and it all looked normal. They were in their slowed-down shot with the ballad in the background.

“Yeah, well, it's just a really good episode,” she said, avoiding eye contact at all costs. You tried to look at her by bending down and tilting your head but likewise, she turned around to avoid you. It looked strange but you just continued to watch the drama, accepting her answer.

As the episode concluded, Minjeong heaved a silent sigh of relief. She attempted to divert attention by reaching for more snacks, hoping to distract both herself and you from the lingering awkwardness.

You continue to the next episode.

You turned around and tried to get one of the snacks that were on her side. As you stretched, your hand brushed against Minjeong’s thigh. At the touch, she jolted with a loud gasp. It was like you sent a shock through her body.

“Oops, sorry about that,” you said apologetically, retrieving the box to your side.

“N-no problem at all,” she stammered.

You continued to watch without thinking much of it but Minjeong was completely on the edge. When you shifted and adjusted yourself, your leg would accidentally brush against hers. Or when you wanted to take the water bottle and you’d hug her shoulder by mistake. The blush on her cheeks continued to grow and she started to want to get out of there.

Your touches continued, all the ones that you were both accustomed to before, now sent a ripple of flustered nerves through Minjeong.

Eventually, the episodes ended and you came to the end of the drama. Minjeong’s nerves finally relaxed. You helped her gather her things and after chatting for a while, you bid her goodbye. You insisted on bringing her home, especially since it was quite late but she didn’t want to hear any of it and ran outside.

Minjeong slept well that night. She had all sorts of dreams and fantasies—was someone in the hallway, they’d think an actress was rehearsing for her future role. When she woke up, however, it was another story. Thanks to the newly found clarity of mind, the realization hit her harder than ever.

You liked her.

You! You.

You liked her.

Minjeong sighed and sat up on the bed.

She liked you.

Yes, she.

She liked you.

Now she had two options: either ignore it, act like nothing happened, which was both the easiest and hardest choice she could take; or deal with it. Minjeong didn’t like the idea of ignoring what she found. It would be like playing with your feelings. Really, you confessed indirectly, she has read all of your honest words, letter by letter, and now knew all of your feelings. You confessed to her.

But she also didn’t want to talk to you about it. Because, well, it was embarrassing.

What if you didn’t feel ready for a relationship? Maybe your journal was an outlet for your stress where you poured out all of your feelings knowing full well you couldn’t be with her.

Maybe it wasn’t a journal, maybe it was a fictional diary that you were writing. Like some sort of diary of a wimpy kid but for lovers.

Maybe you were writing about another girl. You knew that someone could have found your diary, just like Minjeong did, so you used another name. You could have been in some sort of Romeo and Juliet type of affair and the repercussions could have been deadly.

Minjeong was just making stuff up at this point. Let’s face it, you were just a normal person and what she read were real journal entries.

She sighed heavily. “Why?! Why did I…” she yelled. Minjeong closed her eyes and remembered your words—how sweet they were, how honest and meaningful—then shook her head. “It’s better this way.”

The piece of paper was still on the desk, crumbled and waiting. She got up and held it in her hand, skimming through your bucket list again.

BUCKET LIST Go on a date with Minjeong (skating?) Watch the starry sky Touch Minjeong’s cheeks Try skiing Top marks Confess Kiss MinHold Minjeong’s hand

She just ignored your last desire—the crossed-out line was still pretty readable but it was too embarrassing right now. You have helped her a lot until now, making most of the dreams from her bucket list come true. Yet, she has never had the chance to pay you back. Minjeong thought carefully and realized that this was the perfect occasion. She liked you so she would have liked it too and if you didn’t want to get into a relationship with her, at least she could fulfill a couple of your desires.

Minjeong clutched the paper with determinatione; it was her mission.

Objective 1: Secure the date

When Minjeong made up her mind and got up, two steps from the door of the room, she realized one thing: she had never been on a date. Such a pretty girl like Minjeong should have been asked out at least ten times by now. Especially since she wasn’t exactly shy or intimidating. And truly she had been asked out, but she never accepted. She’d say she had to focus on her studies, or that she wasn’t ready, or that it wasn’t the age for that kind of thing.

Minjeong turned while holding her chin, her eyebrow furrowed in deep thought. She had a location—the skating ring—that was a starter. But now, what do you do on a date? Minjeong tried to recall all the dramas she had watched: maybe she’d get some sort of idea. She has watched plenty of shows, surely there was something useful.

Characters would usually kiss each other ‘accidentally’ for example. Minjeong tried to imagine the scene: you and her walking in the frozen streets, her tripping and falling in your arms… some kids bumping into you, your lips brushing against her in a split second. Minejong started to blush terribly. “No, no, no, that’s not good,” she shook her head to get the thought out of her mind.

She was definitely overthinking this. You probably didn’t know any better than her and couples don’t really prepare that much before a date—it had to be natural. Minjeong decided to call you. There was a skating ring opened in the city during that period so that was the right occasion.

She gripped her phone, inhaled and exhaled. “Just hanging out,” she pointed out. “That’s right, don’t stress Minjeong, it’s just a hangout between friends.”

After Minjeong decided what to say and prepared all the possible dialogue options, which took about half an hour, she dialed your number and called. She couldn’t even calm her mind that you already picked up.

“Hello?” you asked.

“Hey,” Minjeong answered.

“Oh, Minjeong, how are you? Why are you calling me?”

“Well, I’ve got an idea for you.”

“Shoot.”

Minjeong swallowed her saliva. “How about we go skating at the ice rink? They opened it in the city center, I think it would be fun.”

“Skating, huh? Uhm… well, I’ve been thinking about it,” you said, you’ve been really thinking about it. It was such a weird coincidence that Minjeong asked you about it. However, “I haven’t done that in ages. Are you sure I won’t end up flat on my back?” You didn’t want to make a fool out of yourself in front of your crush.

Minjeong laughed jokingly. “Don’t worry, I’ve got your back… or, well, I’ve got your back if you do fall. But trust me, you’ll learn pretty quick.”

“Sounds tempting, but I’m not really convinced.”

“Come on, we’ll have fun. They also sell hot chocolate and crepes. I’ll buy it for you if you come!”

“Free food? Okay, you’ve convinced me. When do you wanna see each other?”

“How about Saturday? We should both be free.”

“Sounds good. Alright, thanks, see ya.”

“Goodbye.”

As soon as she hung up, Minjeong started jumping around like a maniac. She felt like she was a kid again, so excited and happy. She just forgot to tell you at what time to come. Whatever. She could have texted the time later. Plans were just going as planned.

The plans did not go as planned.

Objective 2: Find a replacement

Minjeong spent her whole morning preparing for the date. She looked at all the possible cafés and restaurants and food places you two could go to in case you got hungry. Then she looked at all the possible outfits she had in her wardrobe. She called her friend, Karina to help her decide the clothes. They ended up giggling and talking for about 5 hours about Minjeong’s story with you and Karina’s love interest.

In the end, they decided to go for the simplest sweater and pants they could find. It was to “not hide Minjeong’s natural beauty” as Karina put it. Whatever that meant.

You met right at the entrance of the city. You were already waiting there.

You found it hard to recognize Minjeong. She was bundled up in a big cozy scarf, a huge hat, and big gloves. The jacket was also quite thick, making her look like a snowman. You knew Karina didn’t let her go out of the house before dressing her up properly. You smiled, she looked very cute.

The both of you made your way to the ice ring talking about uni, friends, work, and so on. Being with Minjeong was always a pleasure as you could confide in each other about whatever problem or worry you had.

Hand in hand, you scrolled through the city, the subtle crunch of snow beneath your feet providing a serene soundtrack. There were a lot of people on the street. You came early but the sky was already starting to darken.

When you reached the ice rink, you gulped. Minjeong instead, was extremely excited. You paid for the skate shoes, slipped them in, and stepped on the ice.

The ice beneath your skates glistened brightly, it felt like ice, ready to crack, ready to swallow you in case you fell and gave in to the demons of the cold. Minjeong was still excited. She was already laughing while looking at the small kids tumble down the ice like bowling pins.

Wrapped in the warmth of your scarf and being alongside Minjeong, provided you enough confidence and comfort to aid your attempt. You stepped slowly, your legs shaking. Your friend held your hand and guided you through the edge of the ring until you found the right rhythm to continue on your own.

Your confidence grew, maybe too much, and you tried to make a tight turn and slipped. Your heart skipped a beat and your life flashed before your eyes. Fortunately Minjeong, with lighting reflexes, reached out and grabbed you.

“Oh my god, thank you Minjeong, you saved my life.”

“Be more careful!” she laughed.

After the incident, you started to be more careful and continued skating.

At one point, tiny snowflakes began to fall down the sky, soft and gentle. Both you and Minjeong started smiling brightly, thinking it looked like a scene from a romance movie. It really looked like what you’ve always dreamt of, skating with Minjeong under the snow.

The snowfall intensified, turning the ice rink into a snowy spectacle. It added a layer of magic to their already enchanting evening, and you continued to skate with carefree joy, leaving behind a trail of swirling snowflakes. However, as the snowfall grew heavier, the twinkling lights began to fade, and a voice over the speakers announced the temporary closure of the rink for safety reasons.

Minjeong panicked. She couldn’t end the date this way.

“Isn’t that a shame?” you said, walking away from the ice ring. “Well, I still had fun nonetheless, thank you for today, Minjeong.”

“Wait, wait,” she interrupted you. “Uhm, it’s still pretty early, wanna go back to my place?”

“Heh? Well, why not? Wanna order out?”

“Yeah, that’s fine by me.”

“Then let’s go.” Good job, Minjeong.

Objective 3: Look at the sky

You entered the pitch-black living room and turned on the lights. The room was well-lighted but still felt small and comfy, it probably was the darkness from outside the window. You glanced at Minjeong as she folded a blanket and tossed it over the back of the sofa. The air held a chill, a reminder that winter had firmly settled outside the confines of your makeshift refuge.

She nonchalantly dropped a stack of DVDs onto the coffee table, the worn covers hinting at countless movie nights spent in this room. Minjeong leaned over the desk, planting her hands on the edge. Minjeong's gaze shifted to you, What do you feel like watching?"

I shrugged, my gaze scanning the room as if the answer lay hidden in the faded wallpaper. "Anything. Surprise me." She picked a random DVD, its label scratched and worn. She put the disc into the blueray reader and grabbed the remote. The sofa creaked as Minjeong plopped down, patting the cushion next to her. "Grab a blanket. It's gonna get colder."

You complied, dragging a fuzzy throw from the back of a nearby chair. You two draped yourselves in layers of warmth, settling into the groove of the well-worn sofa cushions. The silence enveloped you, a familiar companion that required no words.

Halfway through the movie, however, Minjeong looked at the sky: it stopped snowing. It was like the snow had purged all the previous filth between the clouds and smog and left it a pure black, only decorated by the glowing stars. Minjeong kept slapping at your leg and pointing at the sky until you turned around and the view stunned you.

Objective 4: Hold that hand

“Wow…” your friend whispered.

“Yep,” you said back. The two of you continued to watch the sky, while Kung Fu Panda 2 was becoming noise in the background and your conversation shifted to the sight. You raised an arm, pointing at the bright dots.

“You know, the color of a star indicates its temperature,” you said. “Hotter stars appear blue or white, while cooler ones look red.”

“How is it red if it’s colder?” Minjeong said, puzzled.

“It’s about the waves of light emitted. To put it simply, cooler stars emit less blue light so they look red.”

Minjeong smiled, “That's interesting, but you know, in astrology, stars, and their positions also play a significant role. I'm a Capricorn, ruled by Saturn, and it says a lot about my personality.”

As soon as you heard the word ‘astrology’ you sighed heavily and rolled your eyes, sliding down the sofa. Minjeong has already filled your head with that stuff to the brim. Whenever she had time or whenever she bought a magazine from the news kiosk, she’d start reading the entire thing of the signs, you don’t even remember what it was called.

“Astrology, Minjeong? Seriously?”

Your friend furrowed her eyebrows from annoyance and spoke defensively, “What? It's fascinating! Capricorns are disciplined, ambitious, and practical. I mean, doesn't that sound like me?”

“Disciplined? Sure. But practical?” you laughed. “You're the one who believes in star signs.”

“Well, you're just a typical Capricorn skeptic. But I bet you secretly find it intriguing.”

You chuckled and shook your head. You two laughed it off and the silence resumed. After a brief moment, where your breaths signed the passing of time, you noticed Minjeong’s glow in the dark. Your heart fluttered as you watched her profile against the moonlight. Sometimes you forget your true feelings for your friend, but they always come back.

You sighed while turning back to the sky. “It's such a beautiful night, isn't it?” you whispered, masking the true meaning of your words because you weren’t really talking about the night. Both of you talked in codes, not on purpose but none of you could be honest. You were too scared of her possible answer and Minjeong was too scared to lose you.

“Yeah, it is,” she said softly. As you continued stargazing in comfortable silence, her mind swirled with a mixture of emotions. The recent revelations from your secret diary still lingered in her thoughts, and her unspoken feelings were twisting and turning inside her.

Her hand slowly crept up near you, a subconscious action maybe, a planned incident perhaps; but it was the perfect occasion. You felt her touch and didn’t think twice to hold her hand. The initial contact, when your fingers intertwine, sends a wave of warmth through you. The touch is surprisingly intimate, it felt like a bridge between Minjeong and you. In a way, her feelings were coursing through you.

Objective 5: Spill it out

“Today was perfect,” you say. Minjeong silently watches you with a soft smile. “You know, I’ve always been dreaming of this moment. To watch the stars with you…” your air suddenly blocked in your throat, “Well, I—” “I already know.”

“What?”

“I already knew it. That you wanted to watch the stars—and that you wanted to go skating… with me.”

You opened your mouth to ask her how but Minjeong was faster and pulled out the crumbled piece of paper, the title ‘BUCKET LIST’ was still visible. You panicked, your eyes flicking between her stupidly satisfied smile and your embarrassing, horribly written list of desires.

You gulped and started talking, stuttering, mumbling every word, “S-so did you see the di-diary?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my god… I wanna die.”

“No, wait—”

“Forget everything Minjeong, no, well, you obviously can’t,” you blurted out, you didn’t know what to say anymore. “I’m sorry you had to read that. It was gross. I’m going to move out of the country, buy tickets, pack things, you’ll forget about me and I’ll start my new life—”

“I like you too!”

“What did you just say?” you stopped and looked at her with wide eyes.

Minjeong's admission hung in the air, and for a moment, the only sound between you two was the soft rustling of the crumpled bucket list paper in her hands. Your eyes widened, locked onto hers, searching for any sign of jest or misdirection, but all you found was true sincerity. Her pupils stared at you, eagerly waiting for your answer.

"You... you like me too?" you stammered, hesitant and scared that you might have heard the wrong words.

Minjeong nodded, a gentle smile playing on her lips. "Yes. I like you. I read your list, and it wasn't gross. It was... endearing. Honestly, it made my heart race a little."

A nervous laugh escaped your lips, a mixture of relief and newfound anxiety. "I thought I'd scared you away with that stuff."

Minjeong chuckled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Not at all. It made me realize we share the same dreams, the same desires. I've been wanting to do those things too, you know?"

The weight of uncertainty lifted, replaced by a warmth that settled deep within. You felt a connection, a shared vulnerability that made the revelation less daunting. "So... what does this mean?" you asked, your voice soft.

She leaned in, her gaze unwavering. "It means we don't have to dream about those things anymore. We can make them happen together."

A grin broke across your face, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of happiness. "Yeah, together."

Minjeong's hand found yours, and this time, it wasn't just for a casual touch but a deliberate, reassuring connection. The stars above seemed to twinkle in approval as you both sat there, hand in hand, in the quiet realization that your shared dreams weren't just fantasies on a crumpled piece of paper anymore—they were possibilities waiting to unfold.

“There’s still a last wish on that list I can fulfill…” Minjeong whispered. She took a deep breath and went for it.

She kissed you.

Minjeong's eyes, soft and inviting, met yours, and at that moment, the world outside faded into insignificance.

"I've been wanting to do this," Minjeong whispered, her voice a delicate murmur that hung in the space between you. Her fingers grazed the side of your face, a feather-light touch that sent a shiver down your spine. The proximity between you became charged, the magnetic pull undeniable.

You didn't need words. The unspoken agreement lingered in the air, and with a gentle tilt of her head, Minjeong closed the distance. The first brush of her lips against yours felt like the tentative caress of a butterfly's wings, a delicate exploration that spoke volumes. It was a moment of hesitancy and boldness, a dance between vulnerability and longing.

You didn’t say anything else, the look in your and her eyes understood each other perfectly and you kissed again. The first one was a quick peck, a mix of fear and sudden braveness. The second one was the overflow of your feelings, a long and deep kiss, a slow fusion of warmth and connection.

The world outside might have continued its relentless pace, but within the embrace of that kiss, time became elastic, bending to the rhythm of your shared heartbeat. It was a stolen moment, a stolen kiss, and yet, it felt like something long overdue, as if the universe itself had conspired to bring your lips together in this tender collision.

When the kiss finally broke, your lips naturally curled into a large smile while she hid under the blanket from the embarrassment. Minjeong emerged only a moment later, red and flustered. “Uhm, I wasn’t too bad, right? That was my first kiss…”

“It was my first too, and no, it wasn’t bad. It was amazing,” you said honestly. “I just like how I dreamed.”

Minjeong and you laughed together. This was just the start of the many more desires you two would fulfil together.

Mission completed

THE END

Written, 03 December 2023 - 14 December 2023

#aespa #aespa winter #winter #kim minjeong #kpop fluff #kpop #aespa fluff #winter fluff

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xxbimbobunnyxx · 5 months

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You’ll Never Be A Burden

(Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)

Summary: When you can’t get out of bed, answer your phone, or shake the feeling of hopelessness your boyfriend is there to reassure you that he will always be there for you no matter what. WK: 1.6k moodboard

Warnings: Talk of mental illness, depression, feeling unloved/unworthy of love, not being able to get out of bed, insomnia, food mention, hurt/comfort, Eddie being the sweetest sweetie. Just all around this is centered around mental illness and how it feels to be too depressed to get out of bed. Please let me know if I missed any. Also I wrote this in one sitting so there’s probably typos. 18+MDNI

A/N: I don’t specifically mention a certain mental illness but for me this is how it feels when I’m having a BPD episode. So for me this symbolizes borderline depression but it can apply to any type of depression or mental low. I’ve been really going through it lately, so I just harnessed how I feel into writing this and it was very therapeutic. I wish Eddie could come hold me.

You weren’t sure how long you’ve been laying in bed in between awake and asleep at this point. A few hours? A day? Two? All you know is that the clock on your nightstand reads 2:48AM and you have been trying to force your brain to shut off since it read 8PM. You tried everything to calm the war raging inside your mind. You took so many deep breaths at this point you lost count, you pulled all the blankets over your head and tightened your body into the smallest ball you possibly could, you rocked back and forth while you repeated your mantra of “you’re okay” to yourself over and over again. But no matter what you did you couldn’t stop the negative thoughts from swimming around inside you.

You hated when you got like this. Overcome by this feeling of hopelessness. The feeling of shame. Loneliness. Not being able to shake the feeling as if you’re a burden to everyone around you. So you isolate yourself. Not wanting to drag anyone down with your negativity, not wanting to lash out at the people who are just trying to help you, not being able to bear the feeling of being alone in a room full of people.

Your friends had all texted and called you, social media notifications and voicemails piling up. Not even being able to muster up the energy to pick up the phone and respond to the one person you knew would make you feel better. So instead you thought of him. The way his beautiful eyes lit up when a smile spread across his lips. The way it felt to have his arms around you, his smell, his soothing voice. It’s what kept you going on days like this. Him.

Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to pick up the phone. To ask him to come hold you. You were embarrassed, embarrassed of the disaster your house has become, embarrassed of your unbrushed teeth and messy hair, the pajama pants that felt like they were stuck to your body. You didn’t want him to see you like this. He’s only ever seen you like this once, and he was amazing, perfect even. But to this day you beat yourself up over those days he took care of you, washed you, held you while you sobbed, read to you in exaggerated voices until you dozed off with your head in his lap and his fingers in your hair.

You know he wouldn’t mind, that he was happy to help you, be there for you. But you were so scared of him seeing you differently and changing his mind about you. You were terrified that if he saw the real you, truly, that he would leave. You’d become too much, too little, never the right amount, just like you always did.

That’s why when you heard a knock on your door your heart race picked up, you felt your skin flush, because you knew it was him. You knew he’d come, you knew he’d be worried and you can’t decide if worrying him to the point that he showed up at your door or just texting him back was worse. You heard him knock lightly on the door a few more times before you heard the key you had given him turning the lock.

“Baby? Are you here? I just came to check on you… haven’t heard from you since yesterday morning and I was starting to worry.”

His voice became louder as he talked, his footsteps padding down the hall to your bedroom door. Your head was still shoved under your blankets so you didn’t see him but you heard the knob turn and the door swing open.

“Sweetheart…”

Eddie’s heart nearly shattered when he opened your bedroom door. Your room was trashed, the black out curtains drawn blocking out the moonlight, and even your fairy lights you always had on, even in the night, were shut off. He couldn’t see you, but he could see the outline of you and hear your breathing. He walks over to your bed and sits on the side next to the lump of blankets you’ve buried yourself in. His hand comes up and runs along your side and it causes you to jump.

“Baby… please let me help you? Let me take care of you. I know you’re scared of being a burden but you’re never a burden to me.” He continued to run his hand up and down your body, the feeling already causing your body to subconsciously relax just the tiniest bit. “Can you come out? Please? I wanna see my girl.”

“I look horrible Eddie… I don’t want you to see me like this.” You pull the blanket tighter against you, shutting him out no matter how loud your body screamed at you to just throw yourself into his arms.

“I’ve seen you wasted, vomiting your guts out in Harrington’s bathtub, it can’t be much worse than that baby. Come oooonnnnn pleeeseee. I’m not above begging.”

He chuckles, his hand squeezing your hip lightly before it resumes caressing you. You sigh, pulling the blanket back just enough to peak your eyes out and him and your heart swells. He’s so beautiful, just the sight of him made butterflies erupt in your stomach. Just being near him made you feel just a little bit more alive. He pushes the blanket the rest of the way off your head, smoothing your hair out of your face.

“There’s my beautiful girl. Hi baby.”

He cups your face in his hand, running his thumb along your sweaty cheek, not caring if you think you look awful, you’re always gorgeous to him. Even like this. Especially like this. Raw and real. He wants you to feel safe with him when you’re in this low place. He wants to sink down to your level and pull you back up with his hand in yours. Eddie would do anything for you. He knows that scares you, he knows you want to believe him but it’s hard to fight the feeling that he’s going to abandon you. But he will do whatever it takes to prove you wrong. To prove that he isn’t like everyone else. To prove that he will stay.

“Hi.” Your voice comes out a scratchy and whiney and it makes you even more embarrassed than you already are. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? You have nothing to be sorry for sweetheart. I’m here for you, always. I brought your favorite snacks, bubbles, and your favorite teddy bear, me. Come here, let me hold you.”

He pushes the blanket back further and you shiver when the cool air of your room hits your body. He holds his arms out to you and your whole body tingles. He’s here for you. He wants to be here for you, and even though that terrifies you, the soft look on his face makes you feel safe. He makes you feel safe. You push yourself up and he grabs you by the forearms pulling you into his lap and cradling you like a small child.

As soon as his arms are around you the floodgates open, sobs leaving your entire body shaking while your tears soak Eddie’s t-shirt. He doesn’t say anything for a while, just holds you while you cry, running his hands through your tangled hair, caressing your skin under your oversized shirt, kissing on your tear stained cheeks. After a while your sobs turn to small cries before they finally stop.

“It’s okay baby girl, you’re okay. I’m here for you, okay? Let me run us a nice bath, afterwards you can eat something, only if you want, if not that’s okay, I just want you to drink some water for me okay?”

“Okay Eddie… thank you, I-“

“Shh, you don’t have to thank me and you don't need to apologize, I’m your boyfriend and I love you, let me be here for you.” He smiles sweetly at you, rubbing the remaining tears from your cheeks and gathering you in his arms.

Eddie spends the night making good on his promises. He pampers you in the bath, washing you and brushing your hair, even putting lotion on your skin afterwards. He puts your comfort movie on tv in the living room so you can lay on the couch while he makes your safe meal. He doesn’t push you to talk, he knows you will when you’re ready. He holds you and tells you he loves you while he makes commentary on your favorite movie. When you finally start to feel sleep creeping up on you he ushers you back to your bed, the sheets now changed because he insisted it wasn’t a big deal. He holds you tight, and kisses you over and over again. He even gets you to giggle and pulls a genuine smile out of you a few times.

As you lay there in the love of your life’s arms you feel less hopeless. You feel less alone. You feel your body start to warm inside from the tips of your toes all the way to your nose as he places a gentle kiss on it. You feel safe. You regret not calling him sooner but the fact that he came without you even asking makes it even more special to you. Your mind can tell you he doesn’t care all it wants, because he’s always there to tell you he does.

“I love you angel, get some rest, okay? I’ll be here when you wake up. I’ll always be here.”

“I love you Eddie. I know you told me not to thank you, but thank you, for being here for me. For being you.” You nuzzle your face into his neck, placing a gentle kiss there before you doze off into a peaceful sleep. In the arms of someone you know loves you.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie Munson fluff #eddie munson hurt/comfort #Eddie Munson x fem reader #Eddie Munson one shot #Eddie Munson fanfiction

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heartpascal · 1 year

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something is rotten

▹ — joel miller x niece!reader

▹ — summary: part two of to an empty house — arriving in jackson brings painful feelings, and even worse conversations.

▹ — a/n: UGH!! guys im not all that happy with this one!! ive changed it a couple times too D: but i have left yall hanging long enough!! lemme know if you want anymore about these guys :’) && ty guys sm for all the support ILY!!

▹ — warnings: slight spoilers for episode 6 ‘kin’, swearing, ANGST!!!, a bit of comfort, father figure joel, reader has daddy issues, and abandonment issues, and is generally not struggling in life PLS

▹ — tags: @canpillowscry @randomstory56 @angsty-twihardxx @frogtits1 @exiledangel @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @vee-vee-writes @rhyanna6012 @snixx2088 @mona-aiko @mymommmy (those of you tagged in italics asked for part 2 in the comments of the first part! drop me a message if you want your tag removed!!)

masterlist

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Life in the apocalypse had been non-stop since you had left that hydroelectric power plant, left behind Tommy, and for a while, all thoughts of him. There hadn’t been time to worry about that sort of thing, between almost losing Joel, and then almost losing Ellie, and then finally reaching the hospital that had been your end goal.

In some ways, you were glad. It kept your mind racing, the feeling of constantly being on edge allowing your brain to stay away from silly things, such as your father.

But now, with that whole chapter finally being over, Joel and Ellie were ready to settle down, to live in a home, rather than travelling miles upon miles, never feeling safe. The three of you had been through a lot, and since the… incident with Ellie, her joke book had remained closed.

You knew that Joel had noticed the change in her, just the same as you had. What she had thought to be her purpose, the justification for everybody who had been lost on your journey, their sacrifice, had been for nothing. It was tearing her apart, and it hurt you to watch it happen.

There was no question about your next destination, though you tried to ignore the reality of it for as long as you possibly could, you were fully aware that Jackson was what Ellie needed. Hell, you’d even go as far as to say it was what Joel needed, too. But deep down, you knew that going there was going to tear you to pieces, despite the way you liked to put on a strong front, following in Joel’s footsteps even in that sense.

You didn’t share your concerns, content to continue the journey in silence, pretending not to notice the way Joel and Ellie looked at you the closer you got to the town.

“Hey, you okay?” Ellie murmured to you, the final stop of your journey feeling like something similar to that of impending doom. She nudged your arm with her elbow, smiling in a way that didn’t quite reach her eyes like it used to.

“Mighty fine.” You responded, her dim smile reflected in your own, and you let it fall the moment she nodded at you, despite clearly being unconvinced by your words.

You fell into step beside her and Joel, and felt his hand grasp on to your shoulder as you caught glimpse of Jackson in the not far enough distance. He squeezed your shoulder the slightest bit, and gave you the biggest reassuring smile he could muster, though it didn’t soothe your worries like it used to.

Maybe it was everything the three of you had been through over your journey, or maybe it was the impending arrival at Jackson, but you were starting to notice the world had become much dimmer than you remembered it to be. Joel’s grip less reassuring, Ellie’s smile less genuine, that faint hope in your gut long gone. With a frown, the thought came to you that this was what it meant to grow up.

The lines on Ellie’s face said the same thing, the sigh that had left her chest, made up of pure exhaustion, just told you that her naive nature had vanished. Jokes no longer received the same laughter, and the world no longer held beauty. Growing up felt like hopelessness settling, nuzzling its way in and making itself at home in that space around your heart. The grip it had made it feel like perhaps, it wouldn’t be all too bad if that heartbeat slowed, but you pushed that thought aside for another time.

For now, you’d have to focus on the problem at hand; arriving in Jackson.

It was warmer now than it had been when you’d left the power plant, and it showed in the way that the green lands had brightened, the sun settling and warming the back of your neck. The heat meant less layers, and the three of you had removed your jackets long before arriving in the town.

The lookouts had spotted you all before you’d been anywhere near the gate, so it was no surprise that Tommy was there to greet the three of you when the gates were finally pulled open, allowing you a peek into the home he valued so much.

Walking in, you had already begun your self-appointed mission of ignoring every word Tommy Miller said, but felt yourself almost blown away by the sights around you. For a moment, just a split second, it was nice.

That thought went out the window a second later, catching a glimpse of your so-called father, and you couldn’t help but recall the way you’d sat for endless nights, waiting for that very man, and imagined yourself living a life with him in a town just like this one.

You felt sick.

That little kid deserved better, you decided. You were worthy of living this kind of life, of getting to sleep in a warm house, of not having to worry about if Joel and Tess would get enough ration cards to feed the three of you, of getting horse riding lessons! The facts of the situation stared you in the face, getting clearer the longer you looked around. Your own father denied you of this life.

With building anger, the feeling white-hot, burning, you turned to Joel where he was speaking with his brother. “Where are we staying?”

Tommy looked between you and Joel, swallowing when Joel just raised a brow at him, and spoke, “Uh, little place just a couple blocks over. 38, I think. Rancher Street, I’ll take you guys over—”

“I’ll make my own way.” You snapped, before he could even finish his sentence. If you had to look at him for even a second longer, you were sure that the overflowing anger and resentment would explode, and you weren’t convinced anyone would be able to pick up the pieces that would be left behind.

You stormed down the street before he could say another word to you, turning down the first alley you saw and standing still in the street on the other side, letting out a harsh breath.

You couldn’t be sure how long you’d stood there for, trying to turn down the simmering emotions inside of you, but it was clearly long enough for somebody to notice. “You good there?” A young girl asked, and you turned to her, brows furrowed.

“‘M fine.” You responded gruffly, and even you could hear the way your speech reflected Joel’s own. The thought calmed you, almost, reminding you of who your real dad was.

She stepped closer, clearly not taking a hint, “You sure? New in town? You look lost.”

“Yes, yes, and I’m not lost.” You said to her, though you didn’t exactly know where you were. She just raised her eyebrows at you, and you huffed, “Lookin’ for a Rancher Street.”

The girl nodded, something between a smirk and a smile on her face, and pointed forward, “First left twice, then a right. Should get you there just fine.”

“Thanks.” You said, immediately heading off in the direction she’d guided you in. You kept your head down, brows furrowed, and tried to keep your attention away from the world around you. It was clear that it’d just make you more angry.

You counted along with the house numbers as you passed by, Rancher Street wasn’t that densely populated, if the look of the houses were anything to go by. There was quite a few that looked run down, number 38 included, once you arrived. You went inside, the door already unlocked, and sneezed when you inhaled all the dust that clouded the air. This place must’ve been barely touched throughout the last twenty years.

Grabbing a book left on the coffee table, you pulled it open, and sat on the edge of an old sofa, sighed through your nose when even more dust floated up from it.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

“You’ll go, because it’s the polite thing to do.” Joel told you firmly, sighing heavily as he looked over at you with his arms crossed.

“You think I give a shit about being polite?” You asked him, mirroring his stance by crossing your own arms. He rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose as he clearly brainstormed a way to get around your stubbornness.

“Just this one time,” He told you, saying your name pleadingly, “Then you’ll never have to go ‘round there again.”

That peaked your interest, and you uncrossed your arms, “Really? You promise?”

“Swear.” Joel replied, and sighed something near to relief, finally calling Ellie’s name. The stairs creaked, and she appeared less than a second later.

“You coming?” She asked, thought she had obviously been sat on the stairs, listening to yours and Joel’s… conversation, the whole time.

“Yeah,” You sighed unhappily, “I’m coming.”

The three of you made your way across town, with Joel checking a scrap piece of paper that you could only assume held directions. Lights had flickered on by now, the darkness of the evening being offset by the yellow lamps that poured light over the street. It was weird, you thought, being able to see so clearly in the darkness.

Joel knocked at the wooden door when you arrived, looking back at you where you stood, just off the porch with Ellie, like he thought you might run away if he didn’t keep his eyes on you.

Though the thought had occurred to you, you wouldn’t do it, not if it meant that Joel’s promise would be vacant. Just this once, he had sworn.

The front door opened as Ellie knocked your arm with her elbow, giving you a slight reassuring smile. You appreciated the effort, but the reassurance fell flat. There was something about this situation that you just couldn’t put into words, but it hurt. Her arm wrapped through your own as Joel followed Tommy inside, and she led you in after them, closing the door behind you.

Immediately, you were tense. Your heart felt as if it was beating in your throat, like it was going to stop if you took another step. You tried not to look around, keeping your eyes on your battered old shoes as you let Ellie continue leading you through the house.

Her abrupt stop had you stumbling into her, and lifting your head with furrowed brows. You glanced to where she was looking, seeing the names Kevin and Sarah written in a scrawl on a chalkboard in what you guessed would be a living room. You frowned, and gripped Ellie’s arm tighter, breaking her from her stare at the board.

You pretended not to notice the homely feel to the house, the warmth of it making your palms sweat. If you allowed your mind to wonder too far, you’d be reminded of how you had dreamed of living a life like this as a kid, dreamed of a house just like this one, shared with your father. You would be reminded of how he chose to have this, chose to have it without you.

Good job you keep your mind on a tight leash, you supposed, gritting your teeth and blinking away the angry tears that wanted to rise and fall from your eyes.

You breathed in deeply through your nose, looking up as Ellie began to loosen her grip on your arm, having arrived at the dining room. The concept had always been strange to you, having lived in a shitty apartment for basically all your life, and having a whole room just for eating seemed like a waste of valuable space.

Ellie took a seat, and you quickly followed in her example as Joel stood talking to Tommy by the doorway, engaged in conversation like they were as close as they had been two decades ago.

“You got this.” Ellie said, her hand on squeezing your arm as she looked towards where you were wringing your fingers together, your stomach feeling as though you’d left it back by the porch. You nodded at her, swallowing and smiling tightly.

You stayed quiet as Tommy finished setting the table, before he was moving back and forth between the dining room and kitchen, bringing various plates and a few sauces with each trip. Finally, he sat down at the head of the table beside Ellie, and you kept your gaze away from him.

“Sorry I couldn’t be there to greet you guys when you got in,” Maria called, finally approaching from the kitchen, and you were keeping your gaze on your hands until Ellie frantically began tapping your, her expression saying something you’d couldn’t quite understand, something close to pity in her eyes. “Kinda hard to get around so quick, these days.” Maria laughed, placed a big plate down on the table before standing back up, her hands on her back and—

If you had eaten any food, you were sure you would’ve thrown it all back up.

There, standing in front of you, was your father’s wife — pregnant.

It felt like a million different feelings were running through your head, faster than you could catch up, all your thoughts were racing, clashing together and leaving only one that was literate: What the fuck?

Maria sat down beside Joel, at Tommy’s side, and you could see in Joel’s eyes that he hadn’t expected this, could see the pity building in his eyes just as you’d seen in Ellie’s, and it was all far too much.

“I can’t do this.” You announced, slamming your hands on the table and feeling some satisfaction in the way the cutlery clattered together. You pushed your chair back, standing up, and saw your father open his mouth to speak.

He said your name, and you snapped.

“Don’t talk to me! What the fuck is wrong with you?” You cried out, staring daggers at the man who was supposed to be your dad. The angry tears that you had managed to push away earlier came rushing back, one already falling down your cheek. You wiped it away angrily.

“Kid, just listen—”

You seethed, “Kid? Do I look like a fucking kid to you? You missed out on that, Tommy. You have no idea—” Your voice broke for a moment, as you thought of all the things that had happened to you since your father had been around. “I don’t have to listen to you. You’re not my dad, remember? You left your daughter, years ago. You have no idea what we’ve been through.”

Ellie was stood beside you, her hand on your shoulder, though when she had got there, you had no idea. The edges of your vision were red, and you could feel the way your throat was tightening.

“I’m sorry,” He started, your name leaving his lips once again, and Ellie held firmly against you as you leant towards him, your blood warming in your veins as your heartbeat echoed in your ears.

“I don’t think sorry cuts it.” You laughed, humourlessly. “I don’t think anything does, actually. I will never forgive you. You hear me? You listening? Never.”

You turned away, Ellie’s hand falling away, and you even avoided Joel as he stood up and tried to reach out for you. You couldn’t face them, not like this, not when it felt like your father had taken a chisel to your heart, and left you with only splintered ribs. You were choking on the emptiness of it, the reality of your life and what it meant to the man who had helped create it.

You were more certain now than ever that he had never cared for you, that he had left because of you, not just despite you.

It was horrible, and it was something you had always suspected. A part of you wished that he had died alongside the Fireflies, because at least then he wouldn’t have had a choice in staying away, right? But no, he was alive and well, thriving in the home he’d made without you, while you worried back at the QZ that barely provided you with enough food to get by.

You were storming away, and had reached the house you'd been allocated before you even really noticed that you had left. The blood in your veins had reached a boil by now, and you could feel the steaming in your lungs, in the way it suffocated you and made every breath burn against your throat.

The backpack in your hands was still filled with everything you owned, seeing as you hadn’t bothered to unpack into somebody else’s bedroom, though it had been theirs a lifetime ago. It didn’t help the deepening rage within you, the despair that was tilting your entire world on its axis. Everything in your life was in this bag, probably weighing less than the plate of food Maria had brought out.

Meanwhile, your father had a whole house full of shit that belonged to him. You scoffed, feeling that burning sensation crawling up your chest, so close to hatred, but something far more raw, more painful.

Your feet took you back out to Rancher Street, legs moving before your mind was fully caught up. You met the rest of the Miller’s halfway through your trek, with them on their way to Joel’s new house, whilst you were trying to make your way to the gate, prepared to leave, rather than get left behind.

Joel called your name, his expression displaying the panic that was crushing his chest. He had been a builder, before. He had fixed things — it was what he did, what he liked to do. But this was something he didn’t know how to fix, something that may have just been broken beyond repair… he wasn’t sure what to do with that.

“Joel, don’t,” You told him, voice trembling as you spoke, stopping in front of the man who had looked after you for your whole life. “Please don’t. Nothin’ that anyone says could make me not hate him. Not even you.”

Joel swallowed, glancing back to his brother behind him, where he stood with his wife, before glancing to Ellie at his own side.

“I—I didn’t mean for this,” Tommy said, arms up by his head as if he was surrendering, but you knew he was just trying to make himself feel better. “I swear!”

“I don’t care,” You cried, feeling your frustration build that none of these people had the ability to understand you, to understand how it felt for your own father to look at you and leave you behind. They couldn’t get how crushing this was, that he was starting over. “Go ahead, start over with your wife. First time ‘round didn’t work, but second time, surely!”

He flinched at your words, as if they had hurt him, but your expression hardened. He had no idea what true hurt was — how could he?

“I know I wasn’t the greatest dad—”

“You have never been my dad. Joel is my dad. He’s looked after me my whole life while you were out lookin’ for something, who knows what, because I don’t believe you ever found it.” You spat at him, feeling Ellie approach your side, hold on to your wrist as your hands clenched into fists.

Joel’s face fell, the reality of your feelings towards your father were crushing, but he could see why you’d feel that way. He’d agree with you, too, if anybody deserved the title of your dad, it’d be himself, not his brother. He remembered a few times when you’d used the name for him, though you had been sick or exhausted down to your very bones both times, and he had figured that in your muddled mind, you’d gotten him confused with Tommy. That was the reason he had never corrected it, not wanting to squash whatever little amount of hope and love you had for his brother. He’d had no idea that the truth was that you saw him, not his brother, and your mind had made that connection.

He felt like he could cry when you turned to him, that glassy look in your eyes, and he saw the pieces of you that his own brother had broken. “I want to leave.” You told him, lip trembling as you said the words.

Joel didn’t know what to reply with — the two of you had nowhere to go, and Ellie didn’t, either. This place was your best option, your only option, really. He shook his head, mouth slightly agape as he tried to think of something to say, something that could convince you.

Ellie said your name, and you drew your gaze to her, where she looked guilty, far guiltier than you had ever seen her. “I want to stay.” She told you, her eyes darting away from you as if she was confessing some awful sin to you.

“I know,” You said, letting her hand slip from your wrist to your own hand, and squeeze tightly. “But I…”

Your gaze moved to Tommy and Maria, and your expression hardened, features turning to stone when you looked at the two of them. “I’ll stay. For now. And I’m still a Miller, but— but if anybody asks, I’m Joel’s daughter.”

Joel nodded, smiling thinly at you, tears welled up in his own eyes, and you nodded back to him.

“O—Okay.” Tommy said, swallowing, but you shushed him before he could continue.

“As for you, I don’t wanna see you. Let’s keep it the way you decided we should be.“ Your voice trembled, but you remained firm on your words. “I don’t wanna see your face, or hear your voice. I don’t want to know you. Joel can do what he likes, but you stay far away from me, you got it? The only kid you have is that one.” You finished, gesturing toward where Maria held a hand over her stomach.

Tommy looked as if he was going to disagree, but people had begun peeking through the windows of the houses on either side of the street, and when Joel stepped beside you, arm immediately going around your shoulders, he knew he had no choice.

“Hope you’re a better father to that kid than you were to me.” You hissed at him, seeing the way his face crumpled and finding satisfaction in it.

The small part of you, the darkest part, hoped every one of your words hurt him. Hoped that he lived the rest of his life knowing that he fucked up, that he ruined you, and that when you built yourself back up, he’d never get the chance to know you.

Joel took the backpack from your shoulder, pulling it over his own, and turned you away from the father you had disowned. The three of you walked away, not looking back to see the way Maria had to herd him away as he stared at you, something close to grief in his eyes.

When you arrived back at 38 Rancher Street, Ellie held your hand tightly while Joel opened the front door, dropping your backpack by the stairs as he moved towards the dust filled living room. The two of you followed him, and he turned around to see you squeezing Ellie’s hand, your lips trembling and your face crumpled as you looked up at him.

“Did I make a mistake? Did I ruin everything?” You asked him, trying so hard to keep yourself together, to tape all the little pieces of yourself into something that resembled okay, but it wasn't working.

“God, no, kid.” Joel said, and he was in front of you and Ellie before you could get another word in, pulling the two of you into his arms and breathing out a tired exhale. “I’m proud of you, proud of you both.” He told you, and your whole facade collapsed beneath you, leaving you sobbing into his arms, wondering where everything had gone wrong, wondering what that little kid would’ve said if she had heard your words tonight.

“We’re gonna be alright.” Joel told the two of you, feeling Ellie squeeze her arms tighter around him, until she let go, pointing upwards to let him know where she was heading. He nodded at her, an understanding expression on his face, and tightened both his arms around you.

“You swear?” You checked, unable to help yourself, and let yourself breathe a shaky sigh into his neck when he responded.

“Swear.”

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ilovelovewithallmyheart · 7 days

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Your older brother Suguru always brought his idiotic best friend from the basketball team around after school.

He would always get on your nerves. Not only was he loud and annoying, but he was also stupidly attractive. Whenever Satoru was around, you knew that you would not be getting any work done at home.

He somehow knew what effect he had on you. He would wink or blow you kisses when he saw you around the house, but always behind Suguru’s back. If Suguru knew that Satoru was flirting with his younger sister, he would lose his mind.

Unfortunately for you, procrastination decided to be a real pain and you had a lengthy essay that was due tomorrow morning.

It was time to fully lock in. The blinds were drawn, your phone was hidden from arms reach and your noise cancelling headphones were in. You were ready for battle.

You could barely hear the knock on your door. You turned around, saying “come in!”

Your older brother peeked his head through the door. “Hey sis. Just letting you know that-“

You nodded, brushing him off. He always gave you a heads up when Satoru was visiting. Satoru was always hanging out with Suguru in his room, almost every day of the week.

It was a common occurance now, so you didn’t bat an eye when Suguru notified you of someone coming over.

For the next eight hours you were in full focus. Your noise cancelling headphones were expensive, but boy were they a good investment. You couldn’t hear Satoru’s pitchy voice, or his raucous laughter.

It was now nearly midnight, and you were starving. You made your way to the kitchen, noise cancelling headphones playing music from your phone, when you sensed a pair of eyes staring at you from the living room.

Rather, multiple pairs of eyes.

You failed to notice that Suguru had invited his entire basketball team over today, instead of just Satoru.

You startled and dropped a glass cup of water, the entire thing breaking in two in what felt like the loudest possible way.

You were suddenly conscious of the comfortable form fitting shorts that you had outgrown years ago, and the tank top that dipped a little bit too low for comfort that you were wearing. It was even worse now that you were blushing beet red and bending over to scoop the glass up.

Where was your brother when you needed him? He was nowhere to be seen!

“Don’t do that.” Satoru now stood crouching in front of you, his broad shoulders covering you from his teamates veiw. “You’ll hurt yourself.” He swept the shattered glass into a dustpan and brush. After he was done, he gently held your wrists and inspected your hands. “You’re lucky you didn’t cut yourself.” His blue eyes pierced yours. Suddenly his gaze dipped downwards, onto what you were wearing. You felt the colour return to your cheeks immediately. “I-I’m fine.” You snatched your arms out of his grasp. You stood up immediately and he did too, casually trying to cover you up.

“Suguru never told me that his little sister was hot.” Naoya, the captain of the basketball team commented. “If I knew that I’d have hosted more get togethers here.” The rest of the basketball team snickered, and white hot rage turned Satoru’s blue eyes into a stormy grey. “Shut the f*ck up Naoya.” His voice was lethally low, the complete opposite of his usual pitchy keen.

Naoya whistled. “Sorry. I didn’t know she was taken.”

Satoru glared in silence.

“I-Is she actually your girlfriend?” Naoya bursted into laughter. Condescending, rude laughter that sounded like forks scratching against plates. “So what if she is?” All the anger had dissipated from Satoru’s face. There was now a cool mask of indifference with a hint of playfulness.

“Seriously? The school playboy Satoru Gojo is dating her?”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing.” He challenged.

You stood there, face whipping back and forth between Satoru and Naoya. “Hey Satoru!”

Your voice sounded unnaturally stiff. “Why don’t we continue watching The Office in my room? We still haven’t finished off the episode we were on!” Your voice cracked at the word ‘still’, and it looked like Satoru was fighting tremendously hard to keep himself from laughing.

“Sure thing sweetie.”

“Okay why the f*ck am i only now hearing from Naoya, f*cking Naoya that you’re dating my sister?”

Suguru was angry.

Murderously, terrifyingly angry.

*planning on making this a fake dating kinda thing, part 2 coming...*

#gojo x reader #gojo x you #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x y/n #jjk #jjk x reader #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #fake dating #brothers best friend #love

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thebestofoneshots · 1 month

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Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7 K Warnings: None Prompt: It'd just one more day before it's full moon again, you must make sure you've got the smell of the pack... This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp

Chapter 38: Let the Good Times Roll

Wednesday, December 22nd. 2:15 AM

When the party was over, you went up to your room alongside Lily to change. She wasn’t talking to you yet. You tried to give her some space, but you didn’t like not being able to talk to her. You weren’t even sure if you should apologise to her, and if you did, For what? For saying nasty things to Severus? You certainly weren’t sorry about that. Maybe for implying her in? That had been unnecessary, even if you knew it would spite him.

You sighed as you walked in, Marlene and Mary were fast asleep, and you cast a quick silencing spell over their bed so neither you nor Lily would wake them up. You looked at the redhead as you raised your wand and she walked towards the bathroom to change, avoiding your gaze altogether.

Your gaze fixated on the closed door, a subtle crease forming on your forehead, and after a brief, contemplative moment, you bit your lip and walked over to your trunk to find something to change into yourself, giving one last look at the door before focusing completely on your task. She was out while you finished putting on your socks, leaning down on the bed as you stared at the floor. You missed the way she looked at you, only for a split second, but it was a longing stare.

You also didn’t notice she had walked over to your bed until you felt it dip by your side. The feeling prompted you to sit upright, turning to look at her as quickly as possible. She seemed to be hesitant to speak so you broke the silence instead, “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, love–” she said as her shoulders slumped. She was about to say something else, but then you interrupted her, speaking almost a little too fast as you attempted to order your thoughts at the same time as you spoke.

“I shouldn’t have implicated you in my fight with Severus. I was very mad at him for pushing you and James but using your name and his pent-up feelings for you to piss him off was disrespectful. To you more than him. And I did not consider how it might have affected you then, and I’m really sorry if I made you upset–”

“Hey,” she said softly, licking her lips before placing a hand on your arm, much like Remus did often. “I’m sorry too.” You let out a short, relieved breath at the contact, she doesn’t like it when we fight either. “James told me how hard he was shoved,” she explained, “He broke most of it with his arm and the door so I wouldn’t get hurt, but you and Remus must have seen it first hand, of course, you’d be mad.”

“It was pretty bad,” you agreed, if Lily had gotten the full extent of the blow, she might have been sore now.

“And I shouldn’t have lashed out at you either. I’m not excusing you for saying the things you did but I wasn’t just…” she seemed to hesitate for a second, as if she wasn’t sure which words she should use. “I wasn’t just angry at you, I was angry at Severus and at how much he’s changed through the years. He’s insufferable now, and I’m sorry you had to be the one defending me against him when I should be the one standing up for myself, but you didn’t know him then, he was different.”

“He called you a mudblood,” you said, “James a bIood traitor and Remus a–” You didn’t even dare to say it. “I shouldn’t have used you, but there will never be a moment in which I won’t defend my friends, Lily. Even if it’s from their own friends.”

It was her turn to sigh, “I know, it’s what I admire the most from you.”

You leaned your head to the side, a soft smile drawing itself on your lips. “I admire your noble heart,” you said. “And your ability to stay calm in these kinds of situations. You’re like Remus, all warm and calm and conciliating–”

“Oh, come on, you’ve seen me mad plenty of times.”

“Well yes, but you still manage to keep your head cool, I mean if Severus had–” you stopped yourself, you did not want to upset her further, instead you mumbled. “Might have punched him.”

“And be the aggressive Mudblood?” she asked you, your gaze almost fell at her words. She smiled bitterly, “I don’t have the luxury to retaliate like that.”

You swallowed thickly. “It would be more than justified I–” you sighed. And then gave her another worried look, reaching your hand to grab hers. “I never even factored that in.”

The weight of your privilege, the one bestowed upon you by your father who was keen on keeping up appearances of bIood purity, suddenly bore down on you. The privilege of not having to worry about your abilities, or having to prove how good you were simply to belong had never been more evident to you.

Of course, you had your own battles to fight, the world was still not fair for you, for any of your friends, really. But what Lily had to go through, the kind of bigotry she was exposed to and how she had to behave because of it, made you see her in a new light. Hours ago, if anyone told you, you’d admire Lily more than you did, you would have called them mad, and here you were, looking at your beautiful redhead friend and feeling nothing but utmost admiration for her.

She smiled at you. “Thanks for being my knight in shining armour.”

“Thanks for being the pure heart that holds me down when I’m about to go mad,” you responded with a smile.

And then, laughter rippled through the room, a shared moment of catharsis. You let yourself fall on the bed, both you and Lily now staring at the wooden headboards and red curtains surrounding it. “Lily,” you began, your voice carrying a genuine warmth, “I don’t want to ever lose you as a friend.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, I’ll latch onto you like a leech, I’ll be worse than Sirius even, you cannot get rid of me that easily.”

“Not even if I hex Severus?”

“Of course not,” she said with a laugh, but she quickly turned to look at you. “You’re not planning to hex him though, are you?” she asked in a worried tone.

You just laughed in return. “Don’t worry about that, he’ll be suffering his own little issues tonight,” you said in a rather mysterious tone.

She gasped, “What did you do?”

“Me? Nothing.” You answered honestly. “In fact, it was he who stole the treat I was about to eat.”

She threw you a look, “And you had nothing to do with it?”

You shrugged, “Not my fault he and his gang are such gits.”

Lily shook her head disapprovingly even if she had a smile plastered on her face. You stayed next to each other for a while. Eventually, she yawned, and you followed closely after. “You can stay on my bed if you want.”

“Mhm?” She asked as she accommodated herself so her feet would be up on the bed and not resting on the ground like they had been previously since the two of you had been sitting on the edge, “You’re going with the boys? Because of the moon and the experiment Peter suggested, right?”

You nodded in response, and then realised her eyes were closed, “Yes.”

“Good night then,” she said and yawned again. You stood from the bed and brought over some covers from hers to place them on top of her since you had both laid on top of yours. As you did you leaned over to look at her and accommodated her hair behind her ear, you could see some of the freckles she always tried to hide with potions but that you found truly endearing. No wonder James liked her so much, your friend was gorgeous, but that was something you’d always known.

You were too emotionally stirred to see the difference, while you considered both Lily and Remus your closest friends, and while you were attracted to girls, you didn’t even once look at Lily the exact same way you had looked at Remus through the night. The hunger that you felt for the latter was nothing compared to the sheer love and admiration you felt for the redhead. Two very different emotions, and they were there for two very different reasons, but you were still too blind to see. The blindfold, although slowly becoming sheerer, was still there.

“I’m glad we’re still friends,” you whispered as you finished tucking her in. Then you made sure the rest of the girls were asleep before going back to the boy’s room.

Now, it’s not that you were eager to go back to Remus. In fact, you thought you had ogled him enough with the horny potion still running through your system throughout the party –and it wasn’t gone entirely yet– but, just like Lily had mentioned, tomorrow was full moon.

And while the couple of nights you had bunked with the boys had been enough, according to Remus who confirmed Vixen smelled like part of the pack, you had all agreed that the night before the full moon would be the most important. For a couple of reasons: first of all, the closer you smelled to the pack when Moony showed up, the more chances you would have to be accepted by him. Second, after the party, there was a high chance other people’s smells had been mixed in with your own, and thirdly, Remus said it would make him feel at ease knowing that Vixen smelled like nothing other than the pack.

You wanted Remus to be at ease, especially in the particularly complicated time he had just before the moon, so you had all decided you’d meet again after the party was over. James had even lent his cloak so you could sneak out of your room and into theirs quietly.

“What are you doing?” You heard someone whisper in your ear which had you jump a few feet back as you looked around. You had the cloak on, there was no fucking way… “Saw your door open.” The voice explained.

You frowned, finally recognizing him, “Richie?!”

“Boo,” he said as he became visible right in front of you, you stayed safely under the cloak.

“What– what are you doing in the Gryffindor tower?”

“Can’t a ghost roam around freely in the castle?” He asked, with a slightly dramatic tone, ever so characteristic of him. And then looked to the side pointing at the spot where your voice was coming from. “Kinda rude you don’t show yourself after I have.”

You rolled your eyes, even if he couldn’t see it. “Well, if you haven’t noticed, I’m quite literally in the middle of sneaking out of my dorm at three AM, of course, I cannot step out of my hideout,” you whispered.

He hummed at that, “I still think it’s rude,” he said with a shrug.

“How did the portrait lady let you in?”

“She didn’t, I sneaked in. You’re not the only one with secret passages knowledge,” he said, a little haughtily.

You gave him an incredulous look, hardly remembering he couldn’t actually see it. “And you came over because…”

“I was bored, thought of giving the first years something to talk about in their Christmas break,” he responded with a shrug.

“Poor kids,” you said as you shook your head in disapproval.

“What about you?” he countered. “Why are you sneaking out at three in the morning? Are you planning a new prank with your boyfriends?”

You couldn’t quite tell Richie what you were going to do, let alone who you were going to do it with, so it was best to just lie. “Boyfriend, and yes, something like that.”

Richie gave the nothingness a look of incredulity, you thought it was funny that even though he was the ghost, he was the one with a slightly lost gaze as he talked exclusively to your voice. “You keep telling yourself that, little witch.” He said the last thing on purpose, he had heard Remus call you that, and he wanted to tease you over it. Maybe then you’d fucking realise what he had seen a while ago, but you and your stupid boyfriends failed to see.

You shuddered when he said your nickname, no one used that one but Remus. Not even Sirius that seemed to have about 10 different nicknames for you. You certainly did not like the way it sounded when Richie said it. Was it because it sounded a lot more patronizing rather than endearing? Or was it only you who perceived it that way? Of course, you weren’t about to tell him that you didn’t like it when he said it, he had already teased you about nicknames in the past. You did not want to give him yet another reason to be annoying.

You sighed. “Anyway, I’ll let you torture the poor kids, I have somewhere to be.”

“No, wait!” Richie said as he turned to follow your voice. “Where are you going?”

“Boys dorms,” you said honestly. He gave you a look, eyebrows raised and a suggestive smile. You would have nudged him if you could actually touch him. “For the prank you dirty-minded ghost!”

“Of course, of course,” he said as he moved his head from side to side, brows furrowed slightly, his voice dripping with playful condescence.

You huffed at that, worst part was, with the potion that was –now you knew– clearly not gone entirely, you had easily gone back to the thoughts of Remus and Sirius and the fact that you’d actually be sleeping next to the two of them. Your only hope left was that said potion did not emit any sort of effect on Vixen. And that your fox thoughts would be cleaner than your human ones.

“Don’t tell anyone you saw me here,” he whispered, “McGonagall has been getting on my nerves for sneaking into the Slytherin dorms last time. They think James convinced me to do it. As if.”

“See what?” you asked, a complicit smile etched on your features, “I’ve been soundly sleeping on my bed all night.”

He gave a pleased look at that. “Good luck with your boys. Have fun! Take your special teas and potions and all that.”

“Richie!” you admonished. As if you needed warmer thoughts to enter your head. Enough had been your ridiculous admiration of Remus’ torso with how tight the navy-blue shirt fit him. Enough had been the thought that you’d probably end up sleeping right over it. No, not me. Vixen, you corrected yourself. You almost regretted sacrificing yourself for James, but being honest, he would have had it much worse than you did. At least your body wasn’t going to give any physical indication of your thoughts no matter how far they escalated. And honestly, Lily did not need more emotional strain in one night either. You weren’t sure how she would react to a horny James on a normal day, but it would definitely not be positive with the toll of the night.

Richie just shrugged, gave you a wink, and disappeared through a wall. Your eyes trailed behind as you saw him go and then started to walk towards the boys’ dorms. The hallways were dark, and you had to be extra careful not to trip on your way down the set of stairs of the girls’ dorms and up the ones on the boys’. Thankfully you had already taken that same path a good deal of times and you knew how to get from point A to point B with relative stealth.

Once you were outside of their door you had to take a deep breath, forcing the image of shirtless Remus you had seen a while ago off your head, and walked inside. The boys knew you were coming later that night, so you trust they were all presentable. When you walked inside, you spotted James thrown on his bed, tie loose and shirt slightly unbuttoned, snoring just slightly as he was half-covered with the sheets. Peter was on his bed, perfectly tucked and with a Gryffindor beanie that clashed entirely with his purple striped pyjamas. He is cold, you realised, you were too. The cloak had never been that warm.

Then you spotted your boys, the boys, you corrected yourself. Fucking Richie and damn Ackley’s potion, they’d made your mind all wonky. “No use in hiding luv, we saw the door open,” Sirius said, he was on the bed next to Remus who was reading a book you hadn’t seen before. Sirius was sketching something in a small notebook. Both boys stood rather close to each other, but Remus kept his gaze on his book, respecting Sirius’ earlier wish of not snooping on his drawing, even if the temptation was gnawing at him.

You took part of the cloak off and placed it around your shoulders. “You’re drawing,” you pointed.

“Mhm,” Sirius said in response. “Just practising expressions.”

“How’s it going?”

“Surprisingly great, wanna see?” He asked. Both you and Remus looked at him with a rather surprised expression. Sirius had never allowed either of you to see his drawings, and he was now so casually offering it, that it had the two of you puzzled.

“Sirius, are you all right?” you asked as you stepped closer to the bed, letting James’ cloak fall over Remus’ trunk as you did.

“Did you hit your head?” Remus intervened.

“Or took a potion?” You added as you leaned over the bed and placed your hand on his forehead to check if he had some sort of fever.

“What?” The boy asked with a frown as he gently pulled your hand off his head. “No, I– You know what? Never mind.”

You let a disappointed “aw” in response. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to see it, we were just a little surprised,” you said, even pointing at Remus, to show it wasn’t just you that had been taken aback by his offer.

“You’ve never shown us your drawings. At least not the ones in your notebook,” Remus added.

Sirius seemed to hesitate at that, and they were right, he never showed his art to anyone. He had tried to show it to his mother once and she had berated him with it. Telling him it was a useless waste of his time and that he should instead be perfecting his charms, that Regulus was getting ahead of him and that he was lagging behind. That, if he continued, he would lose his chance to get into Hogwarts and would end up cast out of the family like a squib. He was only 8 at the time, and since that day, his drawings, other than the doodles on his notebooks, had been kept to himself.

Sketchbook after sketchbook, sent to him by Andromeda and sometimes even his cool uncle Alphard (who had never been too loved by his mother and who had at least kept in touch with Sirius even after he had been kicked out last summer). Sirius had kept them all hidden and lock-charmed so no one would be able to access his art. But of course, he continued on drawing, sometimes because he saw something he wanted to remember, sometimes because he wanted to get better at it, sometimes for the sake of it, and sometimes because he wanted to piss Walburga off.

Sirius had a rather specific way in which he would sit in the drawing room of his house, and while Regulus studied diligently, he would prop out his sketchbook and draw for hours, waiting for Walburga to come over, just to see her walk out of the room displeased, he enjoyed that look on her face so much that he would draw for even more hours, just to see if she’d come back and make it again.

At some point he’d even found some drawing books in the family library, he had taken all of them and hid them in his trunk, using them to improve his skill –not that the practice hadn’t already done that for him, but he learnt a lot about proportions with those. Later on owling them to James and asking him to hide them when things got rougher at home. That Christmas he’d gotten even more books, all thanks to the Potters who’d given him a few as gifts (he had stayed with them over the break while telling his parents he’d be at Hogwarts), James had given him a set of always-sharp drawing pencils that he still used to this day. James had also told Peter and Remus about Sirius’ passion for drawing. Peter had gotten him some colouring pencils while Remus got him a leather bound sketchbook, the same he was using today, in fact.

“Yeah I–” Sirius was hesitant, he didn’t even notice how easily it had slipped off his tongue. How he had just offered the two of you to see his drawing. The more he thought about it, the more he realised, he wanted the two of you to see it. He trusted you, unlike he’d ever trusted anyone in his life, and it was scary, giving someone so much power over him and his emotions.

“Hey,” you said softly, noticing his change in demeanour. “I’m sure both me and Rem would love to see your drawing. See what that pretty mind of yours came up with,” you reassured as you pointed at his forehead with one of your fingers as you mentioned his mind. “But neither of us is going to pressure you.”

“We’re okay if you keep it to yourself,” Remus added, for good measure. He was feeling all sorts of warm feelings as he saw you treat Sirius with such kindness, to touch him with such tenderness, Merlin knew that boy needed this kind of affection and he was thrilled, that even if he couldn’t give it to him himself –not in the way he wanted at least– you could still do that for him. You really were made for each other. And he really was in the middle of a tender moment and he wasn’t sure if he should stay in it, not that either of you seemed to mind, you never did, he realised.

“I want you to see it,” Sirius mumbled and he handed the sketchbook your way, one of his fingers in between the pages, to mark where the drawing was. You took it in your hands and opened it slowly when you realised what it was you gasped.

“It’s beautiful,” you said honestly. Both the drawing and the person he had drawn. Sirius swallowed thickly, he wasn’t insecure about many things, but he had never shown his art to anyone. “You’ve captured him perfectly.”

“Who?” Remus asked, now intrigued and leaning over to see the drawing as well.

“You,” you said as you tilted the sketchbook over so he could see it as well. Remus’ eyes opened wide with surprise as he saw himself sketched out in the notebook.

When Sirius said he was “practising” his expressions, he really meant it, he had sketched out a perfect version of Remus’ side profile as he read a book, his brow just slightly furrowed as he was looking at a particularly intriguing section of the detective novel he’d been reading earlier. “You were… you were drawing me?” he stuttered, as his eyes widened and he drew in a sharp breath.

“You mind?” Sirius asked as he tilted his head slightly.

Remus wasn’t sure how to respond. Did he mind? No, if anything he was flattered, barely holding the blush starting to creep up his cheeks, he never thought he’d be the subject of one of Sirius’ drawings, let alone the many he had already been of and would be in the future. “No,” he said honestly. “I just didn’t realise.”

“You were very absorbed in your book,” Sirius said with a shrug. “Wasn’t even being careful about it.”

You turned to Sirius then, he’s drawn him before, you thought, it was in the way the lines were so sure, confident as if he knew exactly what he was doing and had to focus solely on his expression. But it made so much sense, they were roommates after all. You then wondered if he had drawn you too, was it possible that you too had been so engrossed in yourself that you hadn’t noticed?

The drawing of Remus was beautiful, it truly reflected him in every way, but Remus had never seen himself as beautiful as he had been plastered on the sketch. He was truly stunning in Sirius’ gaze, and if that was what he looked like to you, then perhaps it too made sense when you called him beautiful. You’d even called him beautiful when you’d first seen the drawing. Well, was that him or was it Sirius’ talent that you had been praising? He chose to think a little bit was because of him.

“Sirius it’s incredible,” you repeated as you gazed at the drawing again. “I expected you to be good but–”

“I’m always good with my hands,” he said as he threw a wink your way and you almost pushed him off the bed entirely. You did not need dirty thoughts added.

“My love you wound me,” he said dramatically as he let himself fall back onto Remus’ lap. Remus had reacted just fast enough to pull the sketchbook up, Sirius looked at him with a cheeky little smile. “Moony, you’re awfully comfortable,” he teased. The two of you praising his art had gotten him in a dreadfully good mood.

His two favourite people on earth had seen his drawing and they had both thought it was beautiful. Or at least been kind enough to pretend it was, he was pretty sure the two of you were being honest with him, though. He wasn’t always good at seeing through lies, but he was good when it mattered.

Wait– his two favourite people in the world?

Remus rolled his eyes as he looked down on Sirius, trying not to think of how beautiful he looked and instead of how annoying he was by taking up his personal space so brazenly. Problem was, even that he found endearing. The urge to brush his fingers through his perfectly chiselled nose was almost mortifying.

Sirius wasn’t in a much better position either, he had focused so much on his drawing that he had forgotten he had actual Remus Lupin –who for some reason he now considered insanely attractive– looking at him like he was the only person in the room. They locked eyes for a moment and Sirius swallowed.

You looked at the scene curiously and he seemed not to mind much the kind of attention Rem was providing him with, you already knew he loved being coddled. Sirius had always been touchy and cuddly, searching for the lack of affection his parents had given him wherever he could find it, but he and Remus had gotten a lot closer –physically at least– since you all started doing the pack cuddling thing this month. And while you found it endearing, that Sirius could find love not only with you but elsewhere as well in case you weren’t around to help him out, there was something about the way they were looking at each other in that particular moment that made you do a double take, or at least to stare a little closely. Have you missed something? That look was an awful lot like–

Suddenly there was a stir on the bed and the sketchbook fell from Remus’ hands. When he picked it up, the page had changed, and when he looked at it, he couldn’t actually hide the blush that crept up his cheeks, “Sirius Black!” he said in an admonishing tone.

Sirius, who had turned his gaze to you and was pulling onto your leg, turned his head quickly and gasped when he saw the drawing Remus was looking at, “Close it, close it!”

Remus did as told in an instant, swallowing thickly as he remembered the drawing. Sirius now was blushing as well. “What– what was that?” You asked with a small frown, completely changing your train of thought, now focusing solely on the sketchbook.

“Nothing,” Remus said simply.

“Don’t worry about it, Starshine,” Sirius said, but that was not his cool and controlled voice. You could see how nervous he was, whatever it was that Remus had seen in the sketchbook, he clearly did not want you to see it too, which obviously made you want to see it even more. Meanwhile, Remus was struggling not to think of the drawing now burned into his brain.

You scrutinised their reactions, the only sound in the room the gentle rustle of the fabric as you shifted on the bed. Your gaze darted between them, before deciding to focus on the latter. “Sirius?” He swallowed.

“You don’t want to see it, trust me,” Remus said as coolly as he could, but you could clearly see through his bullshit.

“Your lies only make me more curious.”

“I’ll show it to you later.”

“How will I know it’s the same?”

“Because you trust me?” Sirius responded with a shrug.

“Would you show it to me later?” You asked as you turned to Remus.

He cleared his throat, he really did not need to think of the drawing again. “Yes,” he lied.

“Okay fine,” you responded, and laid back for a second, Remus had the sketchbook still in his hands.

Sirius was looking at you attentively, not sure how you had let the subject go so easily when you jumped forward to try and grab the notebook from Remus’ hands. But Remus’ reflexes had always been faster and he moved the book out of the way as you crashed against him and caused him to fall back on the bed with you on top. You, being deterred not even a little bit, pulled your hand forward to try and grab it again when Sirius grabbed you by the waist firmly and held you from moving forward again.

Remus, meanwhile was trying not to think of the image, and now also your body pressed against him, and you, being so engrossed in your task, didn’t quite realise exactly what you were doing.

“Starshine please, I promise I’ll show it to you later,” Sirius pleaded as he held you back from reaching towards Remus’ long outstretched hand.

“Why not now?” you asked as you continued trying to move.

“Because!” he said. “You’re all over Moony, come on!” he added as he tried to pull you back.

You looked down, he was right, you were all over Remus, more specifically, all over the broad chest you had been thinking about all night, and you couldn’t help but think how firm it felt underneath you. But you still wanted to know.

“What was it?” you asked, squirming as you tried to get out of Sirius’ grasp.

“Anatomy study.”

Finally, you stilled. Looking up to see how red Remus’ cheeks had gotten, and how he swallowed thickly after Sirius’ words. Now actually noticing how close you were to Remus and the compromising position your legs had been in, and the way they had entangled onto Remus’ and how long you had been there and how Sirius had been trying to pull you back by the waist and how flustered the two boys looked and suddenly it dawned on you.

You scattered back in an instant, falling on Sirius’ lap as you did, he stilled you easily since his hands were still on your waist and you turned to him, your heart hammering on your chest. The thoughts currently roaming in your head weren’t making this entire ordeal any easier for you.

“Do you mean-” you swallowed. “That kind of anatomy study?”

Sirius sighed and looked at the side, before turning his gaze back to you. Remus was looking at the entire situation, at the position both you and Sirius had ended up in trying not to feel things, let alone imagine other ones.

“Yes,” Sirius answered, giving you a look. “You really want to see?” he asked. He was sure what your answer could be, that didn’t stop Remus from sending him a reproachful look, as if telling him what a terrible idea that was.

And if it had been any other day, you might have said yes. But after the potion, whatever and whoever Sirius had drawn, would probably be a terrible idea to look at, you already had enough heated thoughts as it was. Only made worse by the fact that you were now sitting on his lap and had been right over Remus earlier. Godric! How much longer for you to stop sexualizing your best friend?

A lump formed in your throat and shook your head. “Show me a different day,” you said as you stared at him. Sirius nodded as he looked at you and you missed the way Remus let out a relieved breath. “Let’s uh– Let’s sleep now.”

Neither of the boys argued, Remus placed the sketchbook on his night table and waved his wand to turn the lights off. You instantly turned into a fox and walked over to the end of the bed to try and clear your thoughts. Sirius extended his hand to pull you closer but ended up holding back and turning into a Padfoot instead. Then he walked closer to you and picked up Vixen carefully with his snout.

You stilled as he did and allowed him to drop you over Remus’ chest, as you accommodated you realised Remus’ heartbeat was beating abnormally fast and you couldn’t help but think of the picture again. What the hell had Sirius drawn to garner such a reaction? You shook your head then, don’t need to know, don’t need to know!

Sirius was getting comfortable on the side by now, and he placed his snout over Remus’ shoulder, close to Vixen’s, and closed his eyes. But even if the three of you had your eyes closed, and even if the three of you were really trying to fall asleep, you could not stop thinking about the fact that you were sleeping on Remus’ chest. He couldn’t stop thinking about the drawing he’d seen and Sirius could not stop thinking how adorable Remus had looked with the blush creeping up his cheek, let alone the compromising position you had both ended up in earlier. And it stayed like that, all of you attempting to calm your breaths, until at least half an hour later when one by one, you started to fall asleep.

The next day had gone pretty fast, you’d woken up and walked back to your room to get changed into your flying gear, meeting Sirius and James just outside of the common room for the last flight of the year, since everyone would be packing their bags for home the following day. Well, everyone except for Remus who’d go back home until after Christmas.

After flying you had taken the last few classes of the year, which consisted of some teachers actually trying to teach, some final project presentations and some others of teachers who just allowed everyone to do whatever they wanted during the class time. On charms, you spent almost the entire class playing Wizards’ chess with Marlene and Mary while James and Sirius spent the class writing his essays for potions. Both using yours and Remus’ as a guide.

On potions Slughorn had you present the essays and he congratulated everyone, even Sirius, got a slightly higher mark on that one than Severus, whom you’d heard had spent weeks working on, you couldn’t stop the slight mocking giggle that escaped your lips when he announced the grades. That was until you got yours and it was lower than Sirius’, who just shrugged awkwardly and gave you an apologetic smile.

Sure, your head had been a little muddled while you wrote it (which was at some point after the friendly game with Neil and Nox) but you still thought your argument had been solid, even if Slughorn said that you didn’t have enough sources to back it up.

“But where did you even get your sources? You literally used my essay as a base!” you asked Sirius as you read over his.

He just shrugged, “made them up,” he said honestly and proceeded to show you the page where he had added them, which contained all sorts of ridiculous names like David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, Brian May, Steve Walsh, Brad Delp and even some surreal ones like Moonsmus Lup and Vixenia Starr.

“Oh, so you even gave us credit,” you said as you hovered your index over the ridiculous names he’d invented based on your nicknames. “How on earth did he buy that?”

“Mom and dad used to have pretty rare books in the library,” he explained, “books rarely available to the general public…”

You nodded as you pursed your lip. Half surprised, half admired by his boldness, “Next time I’ll add some myself.”

“The weirdest the names, the more he loves it.”

Herbology had gone by like charms, Mr. Folly was talking about properties of some curative flowers with the students who were interested in them –and who wanted to go for either medical or herboreal careers– and allowed the rest to do their thing. You had spent the time talking to Beth and Tom, planning to get together in London after the trip on the train to get some gifts for your friends.

Remus had excused himself before the class was over and walked over to Pomfrey who took him straight to the shack. You had all agreed that you’d meet him there a little before 6 pm which was the estimated time for the moon to appear that night.

After changing into the same clothes you had been wearing the previous night, just for good measure and according to Remus’ instructions, he said it would be for the best, to “maximize the smell of the pack” but also –and secretly– for his very own enjoyment. Not that it didn’t also translate to your and Sirius’ enjoyment, the three of you rather liked the way you smelled when your scents were all combined with each other. From Sirius always smelling slightly like leather, added to the light notes of your perfume that lingered on each other, all the way to the faint smell of Remus’ aftershave potion and the ever-present smell of chocolate that seemed to surround him. It was certainly an interesting mix, but one you had all grown to love.

“You ready?” Sirius asked while Wormtail sprinted towards the Whomping Willow, they had told you that the tree had a secret branch that if you pressed it right, it would calm him enough to let you through, and Wormtail was currently working on making it happen.

You nodded in response, paying close attention to the way Wormtail walked and how after a small flick of his tiny rat-like hands, the Willow stilled. You looked marvelled at the sight of the usually bellic tree looking so serene. You let out a small scoff.

“What is it?” James asked.

You pointed at the tree, “A trick like that would have saved my Nimbus.”

“But we wouldn’t have ended up snogging under it,” Sirius said with a sneaky little smirk as he passed his hand over your shoulders.

“Is that why you were late after the race?” James asked with a gasp. “We were all mad worried!”

“We also had some things to discuss,” you said with a small shrug, “I thought Sirius hated me.”

James genuinely laughed at that, “He was bIoody smitten!”

“Yeah, I guess I should have seen the signs…” you replied as you turned to your boyfriend, “It was in those pretty puppy eyes of his.”

He pulled his tongue out and then started running towards the tree, you smiled and followed shortly behind. James, on the other hand, lagged back just for a moment, noting how you chased behind Sirius with a bright smile plastered on your face, filled with only blithe thoughts as you walked towards the wolf’s den; as if you weren’t even slightly worried for the outcome of the night.

And you really weren’t, as far-fetched as it was, you thought Peter’s idea of using scents to trick Moony into not wanting to eat you, made sense. You had been sneaking into the restricted section to look up some more werewolf-related tomes, sometimes with Sirius and sometimes by yourself, all in the hopes that you’d find something to back your claim up –and rip some more of those murder pages off of them– and even though you hadn’t found something that confirmed it, you had found some text that talked about how heavily werewolves leaned onto scents to hunt and track humans down.

You had also taken some other “muggle animals” from the muggle studies section of the library and read about the normal wolves, and while you hadn’t found any stance in which they did something similar to what you had planned, there were some stances in which packs of wolves adopted stray and small dogs and raised them as their own. Now Vixen wasn’t either a stray, nor a dog, but she was canine, so that must atone for something, right? Either way, you had built a pretty strong case for Peter’s theory in your head, and while you couldn’t actually ask a teacher about it, you were about to do something that Lily had taught you was “the scientific method” in muggle terms. It was simple, you got a theory, and you tested it out to see if it would work. Now, according to Lily, the testing was in a controlled setting with proper security, your security would be Prongs, Padfoot and how fast you could move as Vixen, but you were still optimistic enough to go through with it. It had to work, otherwise, things would only get harder.

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A/N: Hey everyone? How is it going? Hope you enjoy this chapter, it's one of the fluffiest we've gotten in a while hehe You guys were asking for a new Q&A so I'm working on it at the moment, send all the questions you may want to be added here, or directly on asks. Love, Lils xx

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loveyourownsmiilee · 2 months

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Ok no because knowing Tim is fully back as showrunner and he wrote the first episode, in which we have that Buckley Diaz family scene, I’m legit losing it at the possibilities. As @shammers86 mentioned, Tim played a huge role in Eddie’s shooting, plus the aftermath. Some things he said about that storyline were:

Tim is the same person who wrote Shannon off because he didn’t think they would ever be able to redeem her in the fans’ eyes after her leaving Christopher. So knowing what we now know of what’s to come in s7, Shannon’s letter is going to be an important factor that sets up Eddie and Christopher’s storyline for the season. And it’s such a choice to have Buck there before that whole thing goes down. We know Chris already trusts Buck and confides in him, which is most likely what’s happening when Buck is sitting on his bed with him. So it’s likely Chris mentions his mom, which then causes Buck to look at the picture on Chris’ desk.

It makes sense for Buck to then have a talk with Eddie about what Christopher confided in him. Which further strengthens the theory that Buck and Eddie are in fact coparenting Chris together.

Buck either tells Eddie exactly what Chris said or hints at the topic, which then prompts Eddie to bring out Shannon’s letter.

Now why are all these things important? Well Tim has always been pro Buddie whether we wanna believe it or not. He’s always put on a front where he neither confirms or denies it but just his recent actions have proved that he’s leaning more towards keeping this Buddie dynamic the way we all know and love. Him sharing all those Buddie related stills, talking about how they’re reenforcing dynamics and then showing us these three as a family unit can only be a good thing for us. I just don’t see how Tim could bring up Shannon and then not acknowledge the will of it all. Buck is there for a reason. Also, Chris doesn’t look all that sad after that letter has been opened. Which makes me think he’s slowly working through his grief and is in a place now where he doesn’t have to hurt as much when thinking of his mother. This also can be because if Eddie does bring up the will and Buck being Christopher’s legal guardian, maybe that’s why he’s content and not all that sad. Maybe Chris himself has accepted that Buck plays a parental role in his life and just having his father confirm that is a huge relief to him.

All this to say, I think Tim has been slowly pushing the Buddie agenda. And I am interested to know if he’s doing that because he fully has plans to have them be together romantically or he’s just giving us this family dynamic to appease us without actually giving us anything more. Suffice to say but I truly don’t see how they would even come back from reaffirming these three as a family unit on a new network only to have both gentlemen end up with other people. Now is the time for them to either truly distance these men or continue building this family unit. And given the stills we’ve received, I mean it’s not hard to see what choices they’ve made.

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #tim minear #911 spoilers #911 speculation #jujus having thoughts #I’m sleep deprived #idk if this makes sense #sorry if it doesn’t #thank you to anyone who reads it ❤️

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urdepressedslut · 9 months

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main masterlist

♡fluff ✦angst ❀possibly triggering ☻smut ✰series ✘dark

🔥over 1k notes to be added to a taglist

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | SOME CONTENT 18+

* You are responsible for your media consumption. Please do not proceed reading, if you have any kind of problem with any of the above written warnings.

One Shots

🔥 Tickle Fights ♡☻

→ Bucky discovers you’re ticklish, leading to a tickle fight which shifts into something not so innocent. (tfatws!bucky barnes)

🔥 Just Like That ☻

→ While you two were supposed to be repairing Sam’s boat, you end up giving Bucky head instead. (tfatws!bucky barnes)

🔥 Let Me Take Care of You ♡☻✦❀

→ Bucky is no virgin, but it’s been so long since someone’s touched him the way you do. He didn’t know you could make him feel so good— he’s addicted. (Beefy!Bucky Barnes)

🔥 Lovesick ♡✦❀

→ Bucky is so in love with you it hurts, and he doesn��t know if he can keep his feelings locked away from you anymore. (tfatws!bucky barnes)

🔥 I Get Scared Too ♡✦

→ You have a close call during a mission, and back at the compound Bucky seems to be distant and cold towards you. (tfatws!bucky barnes)

Feels So Right | part two ♡☻

→ You’re so sexually frustrated you end up asking your dad’s best friend for advice. He’s more than happy to help you with your little problem. (Dbf!Bucky Barnes)

Birthday Blues ♡✦❀

→ It’s your birthday, and unfortunately you seem to be going through the birthday blues. Sam and Bucky won’t let you be upset on your special day, which leads to Bucky revealing his feelings for you. (tfatws!bucky barnes)

Tears of an Angel | part two ♡✦❀

→ You’ve been trapped at HYDRA for god knows how long, until the cell next to yours gets someone new. Who is this man, and why is he comforting you? He doesn’t even know you. (The Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes x Prisoner!Reader)

🔥 Love Hurts ♡✦❀

→ You and Bucky get into a heated argument, things are said and done and now he won’t speak to you. You don’t think you can handle him ignoring your existence. (Beefy!Bucky Barnes)

The Collection ♡✦

→ Bucky arrives home and panics when he notices you calling for him from your room, but upon entering— he realizes what you have been getting yourself into. (tfatws!Bucky Barnes)

Tragedy ♡✦❀

→ A new shapeshifter recruit has a hard time adjusting to the team, she feels out of place. Bucky knows what it's like to be the outsider and fight to have control, so he comforts her. (Platonic!Avengers!Bucky Barnes)

Off Day ♡✦❀

→ Bucky helps comfort you after you’ve had a bad day. (tfatws!bucky barnes)

Void ♡✦❀

→ Working as a nurse at HYDRA, you find yourself intervening when you catch Alexander Pierce striking The Asset. You don’t even know this man, but you can’t just stand and watch him be beat down. (The Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes x Hydra!Reader)

You Could Never Hurt Me ♡✦❀

→ Bucky realizes what he’s done to you after an episode, and starts to doubt if he deserves to be with you. (cw!bucky barnes)

I Wanna Be Yours ♡✦❀

→ You were childhood friends with Steve and Bucky. You had always had a small crush on Bucky. But now as you’re older, you realize that harboring a crush on Bucky is hard. Especially watching him flirt with girls that aren’t you. (40's!bucky barnes)

More Than Friends ♡✦

→ You are eager to help Bucky prepare for a date, but he would rather stay home with you. (tfatws!bucky barnes)

Protect Me ♡✦❀

→ With Zemo hanging around, you begin to feel very protective over Bucky. (tfatws!bucky barnes)

Out of My Control ♡✦❀

→ You awake in the middle of the night discovering that your water broke, you realize you’re having a baby— the only issue is that it’s several months early. Your hospital room gets tense as you and Bucky come to terms with the big changes. (Mob!bucky barnes)

Cuddles ♡✦

→ Bucky comforts you when you have bad period cramps. (tfatws!bucky barnes)

Beauty and the Bucky ♡✦❀ (Beauty and the Beast!Au)

→ In search of your missing Father, you discover a castle far into the untouched forest. After knocking and no answer, you find the doors unlocked and venture inside. But beware— it might not be your Father you find inside. (Beast!bucky barnes x beauty!reader)

Series

🔥 Stray (masterlist)

→ Just hours after the events in DC, you find The Winter Soldier unconscious, leaning against a gravestone in a cemetery near your home. Being sheltered you don't recognize who he is, and you care for him. (The Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes)

🔥 You're Mine, Sunshine (masterlist)

→ Bucky gets picked by a very rich and respected man to be his daughter’s personal bodyguard. The Father warns him that it won’t be an easy job, that she is a brat and difficult to deal with. But what happens when Bucky meets you and you’re the complete opposite? (Grumpy!Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader)

All I Know (masterlist)

→ Takes place right after the end of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky hides out in Bucharest. Without being controlled by HYDRA, he starts to receive flickers of memories. Who is this girl he keeps remembering? (cw!Bucky Barnes x OC!Fem!Reader)

The Girl and Her Golden Boys (masterlist)

→ A story of your life with your two best friends. Life was never simple for the three of you, and you didn’t care where you’d end up as long as it was together. How long can you all stay together until life will force you all apart? Will the strength of your bond be enough? (40's!Bucky Barnes/40's!Steve Rogers)

Love Me to Death (masterlist)

→ The avengers compound receives a new recruit. She’s a siren who can make anyone fall deathly in love with her with one word. Bucky immediately takes interest in her as he discovers she’s mute, for good reason of course. (Avengers!Bucky Barnes)

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tinkerleaf · 1 month

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Once Again

Hi guys! :) This wasn't exactly how I meant for it to turn out, but I don't hate it. In my head it makes sense. Synopsis: chuuya sees reader for the first time since they left the mafia. gn reader Genre: a lil bit of angst Words: 720 Pairing: chuuya/reader Warnings: emotions, some violence/toxicity? not well-proofread

✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

In the Port Mafia, documents do not lie. If they have something on file, it must be absolute. This is what concerns Chuuya the most when he sees your name come up in recent files. You’re titled under the Armed Detective Agency, and he can’t help but groan.

It had been about a year since you disappeared without a trace, and Chuuya knew that Dazai had to have something to do with it. Instead of dwelling on the thought, he simply pushed it into the back of his mind, only for it to return in the dead of night. He doesn’t always think about you, but he definitely does. And when he does, he has to do something to distract himself from the fact that you are gone from existence.

When he picks up your file, he almost throws it out. He doesn’t want to go through another episode where he frantically searches for you again, as it’s bad for his image. However, he wants the closure of knowing that you’re at least alive. Opening the folder, he winces at your photo. He's thankful he's alone in his office where no one can see him be so vulnerable.

Dazai was still nowhere to be seen, and he was fine with that. He wanted nothing more than to rip him to shreds for everything he’d done. Everything had changed due to his absence.

Your status was labeled as “alive”. He stares at the lines for a few minutes before letting go of the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.

Knowing you were safe slightly relieves him, but the fact that you joined the enemy pisses him off. What business could you possibly have with them? He knew it wasn’t because they were somehow better or stronger. But just like the other pesky thoughts that haunt him, he pushes them away.

Three years later, your file comes up again. This time, however, with Dazai’s. The reason is that Kyouka captured both of you, even though Dazai was the main target. However, having both traitors couldn’t hurt.

He hated using that term for you, but that’s what you were.

When he passes Akutagawa in the corridor, they have a brief conversation about the situation. “Did they say anything useful?” Chuuya asks the man.

“Of course not. They’re just as infuriating as they were before.” He walks away, his steps echoing through the hall.

He knew what he was walking into, but that doesn’t change how he feels when you make eye contact with him. Dazai gives his usual sly grin that annoys him to no end.

“So this is where you’ve been all this time?” Chuuya scoffed.

You really don't know how to approach this scenario. You can cut the tension with a butter knife. You don't want to answer him. Dazai decides it's a good time to provide some input, which the redhead simply ignores.

A glass shatters against the wall beside you. It doesn't hit you, but it's enough to get his point across. “Don’t ignore me like you had nothing to do with me!”

You swallowed hard. He crept towards you like a snake. Dazai glanced over at you to see if you had been hit. “Come on, Chuuya, go easy on-.”

“I’ll get to you when I’m done,” he growled at him. He grabbed you by the face and forced you to look him in the eyes. “I hate you.” He lies. It's the biggest lie he’s ever told. But in a way, there is some truth behind it. He hates the way you possess his mind. He hates how you had enraptured him all those years ago just to drag him down to hell when you left. He hates you for letting his guard down, something he vowed to never do again.

The look in your eye and the single tear that slipped through it seemed to tell him everything you needed him to know. He let go of you and sighed.

In the end, you can’t change the past. You can’t change your mission or motives. Whatever caused you to leave him wasn’t his business, and he knew that. He couldn’t forgive you, not yet. But now that he has you within his grasp, he won’t let you go again. Not that easily.

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essycogany · 3 months

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The Roll Reversal Between Sonic And Amy

In Sonic Prime did Sonic and Amy’s rolls get swapped? Because MAN THE IMPLICATIONS IN THIS SHOW IS BOTH SUBTLE AND NOT SUBTLE AT THE SAME TIME.

The reason I say the two hedgehogs rolls are swapped is because one line in the entire show is the only indication of Amy’s crush on Sonic.

Sonic: “You like me….To some extent.” It’s never hinted at in the original Green Hill. Though a funny and random detail I liked is Amy apparently tricked Sonic into getting into the water (Probably to teach him how to swim) and I thought that would’ve been adorable to see.

Now onto Sonic’s part. Sonic possibly having a crush on Amy shouldn’t be a surprise. First of all the implications in actual canon Game/Modern Sonic is increasing more and more in my opinion. Secondly, this show’s version of Sonic is probably the most emotionally driven and affectionate. He’s not as secretive about how he feels either.

Sonic in episode 8 s2: “We’re all in this together. And I’d really think you’d grow to love them as much as I do.”

Onto the small details. We have short, but not hard to miss moments of Sonic just….staring at the different Roses. Sure, it can be viewed as platonic, but it’s the constant softening his gaze in a bunch of different scenes that didn’t have to be added, but was. It’s all up to interpretation.

Anyways, Sonic and original Amy’s first interaction is with the blue blur coming up to her excitedly and standing in a flirtatious manner. His tone of voice when he says “Got a little sidetracked,” could be interpreted as anything, but how he’s animated makes me pretty sure it’s intentionally flirtatious. That’s just me though.

Then we have the flirting teasing at Rusty Rose in the pirate dimension.

Rusty: “Not that anyone will remember you.”

Sonic: “Now you’re just being hurtful.”

Sonic not minding Black Rose hugging him and might even appreciates it.

And almost all the scenes between him and Thorn Rose was ship fuel for me. With Sonic calling her “Thorny,” as a nickname. He kept the location of the green shard a secret so Thorn could trust him. Sonic stopped himself from fighting Thorn as much as possible. (The Amy Flashback was adorable) Not to mention the last few scenes with Thorn holding onto Sonic was sweet as well.

Sonic even helped improved the sisters lives.

With Rusty finding her humanity and ability to live without her Flikie.

Thorn regained her broken friendship and trust with the Bose Cage Gang.

And Black Rose became the new leader of her Crew. (I say that knowing it was mostly Dreads redemption that helped, but still)

Sonic’s also the reason for all the Roses to gain a sisterhood. Which was one of the most precious part of the entire show. Season 3 has scenes of them running up to Sonic to make sure he’s alright, and helping Sonic twice by saving the last three pirates from No Place and getting him back home.

And here’s my favorite detail. I love how Sonic adores Amy’s way of thinking in Prime. When helping Thorn come to her senses, Sonic mentions how the original Amy would handle the situation. Expressing herself and discussing how she feels. The reason I bring it up is because Sonic finds value for Amy being able to do it without issue. Understanding he’s not the best at expressing himself.

Thorn: “I don’t know. She sounds pretty great.”

Sonic: “Yeah. You are.”

In fact. Sonic thinks so fondly of Amy that the show couldn’t end without having him come to her bashfully and calling her, “Sweet Amy.”

Also the posing with Sonic’s hand behind his back and feet up doesn’t help.

Last thing I’d like to point out is Sonic’s implied crush on Amy is very subtle and despite all of this can be interpreted as platonic which I’m fine with. But the thought of a roll reversal between two characters that’s never experienced it prior to now is awesome to speculate.

Stay Creative! 💜

#sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #rusty rose #thorn rose #black rose #sonamy #sonic prime #sonic and amy #sonic x amy #sth #I can NEVER get tired of talking about them #Especially not in a show where it’s SO obvious #THESE MOMENTS WERE SO CUTE

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aweina · 10 months

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୨୧. he’s one silver fox — spiderverse. feat : miguel o’ hara + peter b. parker

when they feel insecure about their age. ( inspo ) tags gn + spidey reader. fluff. hurt / comfort. insecurities. implied age difference.

old age has gotten to peter in the worst ways possible. well, at least that’s what he thinks. persisting through a depressive episode because life sucked that badly wasn’t an easy feat, especially when they were shown through his physical appearance. a softer, bloated stomach, a permanent mark of exhaustion under his eyes, and greying roots that hair dye cannot even combat.

it’s especially worse when other people point out his aging. the first time miles called him ‘older’ and how his body was a ‘different shape’, peter didn’t really process it until he came back to his dimension and was welcomed with greasy pizza boxes and a broken bed frame.

and when it finally did, peter gazed down at the softness of his abdomen and poked it curiously. in the shower, he sheds off his mask as locks of grey and brown hair messily tickle his forehead. peter finally looked. softened wrinkles, a grey hue that showed his shaving efforts, sunken eyes — damn, he really was an old man.

but that was back then, and his darkened days became much more lighter. although his round eyes now gleamed with hope and the smile on his face was much more genuine, it wasn’t enough to make him feel confident in his own appearance. at least that’s how it was until he met you.

after encountering an aggressive anomaly, you hurriedly tended peter’s wounds at the recovery room located in the headquarters. that left peter under your care for the rest of the day, as well as your usual sweet nature.

“you know i like your hair, right?”

you petted the sides of peter’s head, the silky touch of grey hair making you smile.

peter shuffles a bit to the side, gently trying to pry your hands off his hair, only for you to scoot closer as you lightly brush off the stray strands off his face.

he sighs in defeat as he subtly gives into your touches, cursing at himself for enjoying this so much.

“kid, you know you don’t have to make me feel better.” peter mumbles shyly when you began to caress his scruffy cheeks with your thumbs.

“i’m telling the truth,” you whispered sweetly, inching closer until you straddled his thick torso. “i love everything about you.”

peter nervously gulps in response, cheeks dusted pink from your bluntness. he’s still a little shocked that someone much younger than him could even find him remotely attractive — considering the fact that he wasn’t at his prime. but you’ve always been quite different, ever since the day he met you when things were rough with his initial relationship.

starry eyed and obviously looking at him whenever peter came around. he remembered the subtle stares at his unshaven jawline, or that one time you furiously lectured the other spider-people that joked about his aging. peter couldn’t believe it, but he felt strangely confident in his own skin after so many years of believing he would never be lovable again.

“t-thanks kid,” peter nervously muttered into your ear, pulling your body closer into a warm hold. “for… liking me.”

you pouted at his response, your stomach fully pressed against his softer one.

“don’t ever be thankful for someone simply loving you.” you say with a comforting smile, nimbly fingers smoothing over his eye bags to the indented lines adorning his forehead.

the dangerous combination of your genuine affection and feathery touches made peter’s heart knock faster in his chest. how did he end up so lucky meeting you?

curiously, you tugged on the hem of his spider suit— skin clearly blotched with a flushed pink.

“wow, you’re blushing so much.” you teased with a huge grin.

peter timidly chuckled at his exposure, scratching the back of his head with one hand as the other one steadily grips your waist. for the first time, peter wasn’t equipped with his usual remarks and sarcasm — instead he was entirely unguarded and still dazed by your tenderness.

you giggled at his flustered expression until you squished his cheeks together — pink lips pursed out and slightly chapped.

“i’ll always love you peter,” you sweetly whispered against his lips. “always.”

before peter could properly work up the courage to respond to your confession, a surge of energy filled your heart as you peppered endless kisses on peter’s reddening face — the blend of your lighthearted giggles and his heartfelt chuckles filled the room.

peter never felt happier than he was with you around to make him feel loved again.

miguel could tell he was getting older. maybe it was the constant groggy feeling he would get from every waking moment of his life, or when he had to annoyingly dig around the messy drawers in his lab to get his reading glasses. aging wasn’t something he usually would think about, but these days it was getting to him.

the usual routine of looking through old pictures peaked his insecurities. it started when the orange hologram glowed against the deepened wrinkles around his mouth, playing the collage of memories. younger miguel was much more relaxed — hopeful glints in his eyes and his hair much more fuller with brown locks. there wasn’t his usual dullness on his skin or even the harsh lines that indicated skipping meals to focus on his new invention.

he would never admit it, but he was jealous of who he was before. much less exposed to the darkness of his mistakes and making the most of his ignorance. miguel would grimly stare into his younger self smiling until lyla would suddenly alert him of a loose anomaly causing a sudden disturbance — forcing him to turn off his screen and shake off the melancholic feelings.

the younger spider-people that roamed around the headquarters seemed to make his predicament worse. gwen, who he begrudgingly recruited, would tease him for not understanding how to use any other technology that’s not his own creation. hobie, the most unpredictable of them all, would quip about miguel’s horrible posture whilst he demonstrates his much more straighter stance.

usually, miguel would dryly laugh at their attempts to tick him off or scare them off with a lethal glare, but he felt troubled by his own age. was he that old? well, he took his physicality very seriously, so maybe it wasn’t enough? miguel heavily sighs from the throbbing pain around his temple, sulking back on his chair as he defensively dragged his calloused fingers along the silver strands of hair — reaching to the curve following his slouched neck.

“you seem stressed.”

the sudden sound of your voice immediately startled miguel, almost toppling off his desk chair. you smiled at his clumsiness while he quickly recovered with a feigned cough, a deep red settling on his cheeks.

you, you were far more different than gwen and hobie. much more reserved, never teasing him about his age like the other two. you were always there to compliment him and whenever you called his name, there was always something good out it. miguel had a soft spot for you, but he couldn’t quite understand why you had one for him.

“is it obvious?” there was no need to lie around you.

a worried look settled onto your face. immediately, you settled the aromatic coffee onto his work desk and shuffled beside his broad shoulders, peering down at the unusual tangled locks of miguel’s hair. with slight hesitance, you ran a quivering hand through his hair, combing the dark grey streak that complimented his red eyes.

miguel didn’t protest, instead he slowly leaned into your touch — the weight of his head pressed on your stomach.

“i’m not that old, am i?” miguel shamefully asked. he felt weirdly conscious about his sudden vulnerability, but especially more confused by your gentle hands nestled in his hair.

you sighed in annoyance, instantly thinking back on gwen’s and hobie’s snarky comments. “miguel, don’t listen to them. they’re just teasing you.”

miguel furrowed his brows a bit. no, there’s a lot more than just that.

“it’s not only that but…” it was his past, it was you. it was all eating him alive, these bitter thoughts — his envy towards his younger self, your bright presence that never wavered away from his darker one.

“don’t.” you cut off his conflicted silence, tracing over his hairline with a gentle hand. “i know you’ve been through a lot, and all that means that you’ve just changed overtime. it just happens, you know?”

he hummed at your words thoughtfully, a little flustered that someone much younger is lecturing him.

“and i like you just the way you are.” you delicately tilted his chin up, finally gazing down at his crimson eyes. “even when you’re always grumpy.”

miguel chuckles at your little quip with a rare smile. gawking at your cute grin and crinkled eyes, miguel couldn’t help but pull you into a soft kiss — in which you instantly melted into.

he finally understood you now — you were never afraid to love him unconditionally.

#.୨୧ ina writes #miguel o’hara x reader #peter b parker x reader #miguel o’hara fluff #peter b parker fluff #miguel o’hara x y/n #peter b parker x y/n #atsv fluff #miguel o’hara x you #peter b parker x you #atsv x reader

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julesthequirky · 3 months

Text

The Choice: Chapter Six

All my work is purely aimed at those 18+ so minors kindly, DNI.

Summary: You find three of your favourite characters in your home. It shouldn’t be possible, but there they are. In the flesh. How the hell did they get there? And surely there’s a way to get them back? But as you get close to each one, the thought of sending them back proves difficult to comprehend.

Characters/Pairings: Fem!Reader, Dean, Beau and Ben (Soldier Boy)

Warnings: Language, typical Soldier Boy behaviour.

W/C: 1,560

Ben sat sulking, staring out the window as you drove. A cover of a well-known song by a British girl group came on the radio. You nodded your head, fingers tapping against the wheel as you drove.

“Now, I won’t lie, I’m impartial to some Taylor Swift and some of them newer artists from time to time, but this…it’s hurtin’ my ears.”

Beau reached out to change the radio station, and without looking, you lightly smacked his hand.

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.”

You said it automatically, not even thinking about it.

Beau quirked his brows, shaking his head lightly. From the mirror, you saw Dean smirk.

“House rules…” He said quietly with a slight smile on his lips.

Ever since Dean uttered those words in the first Supernatural episode, you’d taken the motto as your own. Your ex hated it whenever you’d reprimand him for wanting to change the radio station. He got so sick of the motto he almost banned Supernatural. He hated Dean, but most of all, he hated the motto coming from your mouth. Whenever he drove, he’d try to get a rise out of you, taunting you, using the motto to his own advantage, but he’d get more pissed off when it didn’t bother you.

“Why is it so…quiet?” Ben asked, with a distasteful expression on his face.

You frowned. It wasn’t quiet. The radio was on. Then it occurred to you that he didn’t mean the sound from within the car but rather the sound under the hood.

“It’s electric.”

“Electric?!” Came from all three.

From the rearview mirror, Ben’s distaste soured.

Dean leant towards the middle console, hand on the back of Beau’s headrest. Ben barged his way forward, shoulder to shoulder with Dean.

“The fuck you mean It’s electric?!” He barked.

You sighed and rubbed your temple.

“Oh, darlin’…don’t tell me this is one of those Musk contraptions.”

Beau sounded so disappointed.

“No. No, God, no. It’s just an electric car. Not everyone wants a gas guzzler, y’know. And it’s environmentally friendly.” You added pointedly.

It wasn’t aimed as a jibe, but that’s how both Dean and Beau felt about it.

“Baby gets me anywhere I gotta be. She’s gotten me across the States and back more than I can count. I tell ya, she’ll always be more reliable than this tin can, and there’ll always be gas stations.”

You rolled your eyes. Dean would protect Baby to the ends of the earth and through different dimensions. You loved Baby, too, but his love for her went above and beyond, rivalling anyone’s love for a car.

“If Pedro heard you talking that way ‘bout him, it sure would hurt his feelings.”

Pedro was a damn truck. An inanimate object.

You steeled yourself, gritting your teeth and tightening the grip a little on the steering wheel.

“Jesus Christ…” You muttered under your breath. Men and their cars.

You steered the car into the busy mall parking lot.

“I get it. You love your cars, and being in an electric vehicle is some type of violation against your manhood or whatever, but get over it. Henrietta’s got me through thick’n’thin, and I won’t have you trash-talking her.”

Dean and Ben retreated to their seats, and Beau looked out the window. You slowed as you drove through the lot, looking for a space.

“You called yours Pedro? You gay or something?” Ben asked right out of the blue.

Beau sighed, “No, I’m not gay. And I don’t know, the truck seemed masculine, so…. Pedro….”

Ben huffed but stayed silent.

You steered the car into a spot in the mall’s huge parking lot and cut the engine. You took a breath to collect yourself.

“What kinda name’s Henrietta anyway?”

You twisted around, shooting Ben a death glare.

“Don’t you besmirch the name of my car otherwise, you’ll be walkin’ back. Got it?”

Ben smirked. “Oh, please, sweetcheeks, you wouldn’t.”

You held his stare, deadpan.

“Wouldn’t I?”

You challenged him. Daring him to rise above you. He scoffed, huffed, rolled his eyes, and mumbled, “whatever”, only to stare back out the window.

You sighed, scrubbing a hand down your face.

“Alright, let’s do this.”

Ben made you the most nervous as he walked through the mall with you, Beau, and Ben in his Supe suit, minus his shield. This man needed clothes and stat. Your concern was that they would be recognised, and the secret would somehow be out. What secret? That somehow, three fictional men were out in the real world. And it scared you.

But Harmony wasn’t a big city, and you didn’t know many who were as mad about Jensen Ackles as you were. Still, you couldn’t shake the angry buzzing in your belly as you white-knuckled the shopping bags.

“You alright there?” Beau nudged your shoulder gently. “Ya seem to be gripping those bags like your life depended upon it.”

You looked up. He was so earnest, so caring. Your heart squeezed in your chest.

“Maybe I should’ve left you guys at home. What if someone sees you? What if Ben’s right and people don’t believe you’re triplets? What if—”

“Woah, woah, darlin’, it’s like you said, we look more like triplets than the set down the road. It’ll work. Trust it. Just relax a little. You’re more wound up than weasel about to pop.”

He squeezed your shoulder, and the buzzing inside eased. You released a breath, relaxed your jaw, and loosened your grip on the bags.

“There ya are. Now, what’s the plan?”

Ben scratched his chin, then folded his arms over his chest.

“Just to get a few clothes. Enough for, say, a week or a couple days. I got the money. It’s no big deal, so don’t worry about it. Then we’ll go get groceries.”

“Okay, dokay.”

You ignored all the clothing stores heading to the big Walmart superstore at the back of the mall, but something must have caught Beau’s eye as he veered off into a store. Boot Barn.

“Oh, ho. Looky here.”

You grabbed Ben’s arm and steered him into the store, pressing a light hand to Dean’s back. Ben grumbled about being manhandled like a child, but you knew he would have walked off.

You saw Dean perk up at the cowboy hats on display.

Oh boy.

Ben took control of himself and mumbled something about being in “Cowboy country.”

Beau picked up a boot on display.

“Now, these are a beaut.”

“So, get them.”

He looked at you and tilted his head with a bashful smile.

“Nah, I couldn’t…”

“Why not?”

“They’re upwards of three hundred bucks, darlin’. I couldn’t take advantage of you like that.”

“Nonsense. You like ‘em, so get ‘em.”

You grabbed a box and pushed it to his chest.

“Try them on.”

You then left Beau to his own devices and went to find Dean. On your way, Ben nudged your shoulder, lowering his head to your ear.

“Hillbillies and their moral codes, amiright?”

He sniggered, and you glared at him. “Don’t be mean. He’s got more decency in his pinky finger than you’ve got in your whole body.”

Ben huffed and wrapped a hand around your arm, tight, yanking you close. The air whoosed out from your chest, and you stared at the anger directed at you. It left you speechless, even more so when he gripped your chin between his thumb and forefinger, locking his intense green eyes with yours.

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but I don’t appreciate being treated like a fucking child. It’s degrading as fuck. I’m a goddamned Supe. I deserve some fucking respect, so treat me how I deserve.”

His words came out in such a vicious hiss tears stung the corners of your eyes.

He dropped his hand from your chin. But he was right. He deserved the same treatment you were giving Beau and Dean. He didn’t deserve to be treated like a child.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just…I don’t know how to act around you. You’re a wild card, and it makes me nervous. But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt from now on. I promise.”

Ben peered down, face so close to your own. You swore you could count the freckles smattering across his nose and cheekbones. His feet nudged yours as he shifted closer, his body brushing your chest.

His proximity had your heart thumping hard, banging against your ribcage. His lips spread into a sinful smirk. The air charged and fizzled.

“I do really make you nervous, don’t I?

Under your skin, your blood rushed, and your pulse quickened as he leaned closer, lips to your ear.

“If you wanna fuck me, all you gotta do is just say.”

Shock and lust slammed into you, taking the breath from you. White-hot heat bolted from your chest to your groin, sinking deep into your core, and last night’s images came flooding back. Your skin flushed, and heat rose from your neck to your cheeks.

He pulled away, chuckling lightly.

“Oh, darling, I’ll behave if you do.” He winked, with that cheeky smile on his face and walked away, leaving you stunned and horny in the middle of Boot Barn, wondering if you could get away with rushing to the restrooms for a quick skittle diddle.

Tags:

@yvonneeeee, @curlycarley, @angelbabyyy99, @sassy-pelican, @k-slla, @deans-spinster-witch, @ashdoctor, @eretsupremacy89, @fanfic-n-tabulous, @deans-number-one-fan.

#The Choice #julesthequirky's fics #spn fanfic #reader insert #dean winchester #soldier boy #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x y/n #the boys #beau arlen #beau arlen x female reader #beau arlen x you #beau arlen x reader #soldier boy x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #crossover fic

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pink-sparkly-witch · 5 months

Text

Girls Night

Summary: Jensen’s girlfriend comes home a bit drunk after a girls night and tries to seduce him.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Female Reader

Warnings: Fluff, implied sexy times to come.

Words: 0.7k

A/N: I’m so proud that I set out to drabble and succeeded! 🥳 I’m a wordy bitch, so usually, when I set out to drabble, I fail epically 😅 All mistakes are my own.

Consider reblogging to spread this far and wide around this Hellsite or leaving a comment. It really does fuel a creative’s muse. If you’re too shy or too cool for people to know you read fanfic and don’t want it showing on your blog, you can submit an anonymous ask or drop me a DM. 💖

My Masterlist AO3 Ko-Fi

“It’s been far too long since we last did this!” you declare, slamming another empty shot glass onto the wooden table.

“I know! And we say this every time, but we shouldn’t leave it so long next time,” Fiona shivers violently at the aftertaste of the tequila.

“Well,” Robin smirks, “if y’all put hoes before bros every now and then, we’d see each other a lot more often!”

“Excuse you,” you feign outrage. “If I remember right, you,” you point your finger for good measure, “are the one who didn’t come last time so you could ‘Netflix and Chill’ with Scott. I hadn’t seen Jensen in six weeks, and I came!”

“Oh, I came, alright!” Robin grins when you and your closest friends descend into laughter.

The familiar intro of Lionel Richie’s “Dancing on the Ceiling” begins, and you and the girls quickly make your way onto the dance floor.

You spend the rest of the night cutting your best moves, singing at the top of your lungs and drinking tequila.

Walking into the hallway with your heels in your hand, you try to be as quiet as possible. Jensen has been working hard at the brewery and had been learning a script for a movie that starts shooting next week, so you knew he was likely sleeping at this late hour.

You carefully hold onto the handrail and climb the stairs, shushing your shoes every time the heel hits the wooden rail.

Once at the top of the stairs, you frown when you see the bedroom light still on. You walk with heavy feet towards the door, peeking your head through the gap.

“Hey, baby,” Jensen smiles as he looks up at you. “Did you have a good time?”

“It was the best! We drank and talked and danced and drank. Did I already say that part? I think I already said that part. Anyway, we danced and sang. My throat will hurt tomorrow,” you stumble over to the bathroom and drop your shoes haphazardly on the floor. “But it was worth it,” you giggle.

“I’m glad,” Jensen grins. He always says you’re adorable when you’re drunk. Always so happy and carefree.

“What are you doing still up?” you ask.

“Gotta learn this script, baby. I’ve put it off too long,” he rubs at his tired eyes and smiles wide as you leave the bathroom in your underwear. “What are you doing, sweetheart?”

You climb on the bed—surprisingly gracefully, given your drunken state—and crawl up Jensen’s body. Straddling his waist, you run your hands under his shirt and up his stomach and grin as you feel his muscles twitch under your touch.

“Been thinking about you all night, Jensen. How much I wanted to be here with you, how you make me feel. I want you so bad, baby.”

“As much as I wanna say yes, baby girl, you’re too drunk,” Jensen says as his hands slide up your thighs.

“I’m not that drunk,” you pout more than complain.

“Even so, I think it’s best we just cuddle,” Jensen soothes.

“Ugh, fine!” you huff, throwing yourself off his lap and onto the bed. “But I want your A-game tomorrow!”

“When have I ever not brought my A-game?” Jensen laughs as you pull at the bed covers and ungracefully try to get into bed.

“Uhm, when I wore that dress to the 300th episode party? You barely lasted ten seconds!” you laugh.

“Excuse me! You looked really fucking hot that night! You knew I’d been ready for you since you’d stepped out of the hotel bathroom wearing that thing! And I made it up to you!”

“Yeah, you did!” you giggle. “Alright,” you say as you finally tuck yourself under the duvet. “What about the thirty second fumble on Jared’s boat?”

“Really? You really want me to explain to you how incredibly sexy it was rubbing sun tan lotion all over you and the idea that anyone could have seen me fucking you that day?”

“Okay, I’ll give you that one too,” you yawn and lie down, shuffling into his side and twisting your legs around his. “Just promise me you’ll bring you’re A-game in the morning.”

Snuggling further into him, you lay your head on his chest and your hand on his collarbone. Jensen wraps an arm around your shoulders and pushes the script he was reading to the floor.

“I promise. Good night, baby, I love you,” he chuckles softly as the heavy breathing tells him you’ve fallen asleep.

“Not that drunk, my ass!” he whispers as he kisses your head and turns out the bedside lamp.

Tags: @akshi8278 @ashbatz @candy-coated-misery0731 @chriszgirl92 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @deansbbyx @deanwanddamons @duncanhillscoffeecups @foxyjwls007 @giggles1026 @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @impala67rollingthroughtown @iprobablyshipit91 @jackles010378 @jamerlynn @jc-winchester @k-slla @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @lacilou @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @lyarr24 @michecolegate @mrsjenniferwinchester @nancymcl @negans-lucille-tblr @perpetualabsurdity @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @snackles87 @spnwoman @stixnstripesworld @stoneyggirl2 @suckitands33 @synmorite @tristanrosspada-ackles @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567 @winchestergirl1720

#girls night #december drabbles #jensen ackles x female!reader #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x y/n #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen ackles rpf #jensen ackles

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calzone-d · 1 year

Text

Always There (Ted Lasso x Fem!Reader)

pairing: ted lasso x fem!reader, mom(ish)!reader x henry lasso

word count: 3.7k (not the most proofread, sorry!)

warnings: henry being kind of sad, reader x henry fluff/comfort, ted being worried, michelle/jake slander, face-sitting, oral sex (f receiving), ass eating (it made the cut), unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, anal fingering

a/n: that last episode gave me ideas, so that’s how this started. then sad ted made me horny, and that’s how this ended. if you like michelle/jake you may not like the first part of this. or most of my blog? anyways, hope you like it! my inbox is open as always!

summary: you and henry have a heart to heart before you comfort ted in a way that only you can.

find my masterlist here.

---------

Ted was unusually quiet as you ate dinner. You knew Michelle and Jake being in town really struck a nerve, but he’s gotten good at letting that stress go so that he can enjoy his time with you and Henry all together as a family. As you and Henry talked, he kept quiet as he listened in. You decided to not push it in fear of him shutting down, and of Henry hearing. He didn’t visit as much as you wished he could, so you wanted his time with you and Ted to be as happy and carefree as possible. If you had it your way, though, he’d just go ahead and move in.

Henry had roped you in to help him build a quick lego set before bed. The boy adored you. He had become pretty attached to you, actually. On the couch, Ted watched quietly as you worked together and smiled to himself everytime you’d take over for a while and Henry would lean against you. Henry was obviously exhausted, but he wanted to stay up with you.

Putting him to bed was easy, as always. As he’d gotten older, your usual nighttime books turned into telling each other funny stories and recalling cherished memories. Ted stayed behind to put away dinner while you got Hnery settled.

“So.. fill me in. How do you like Jake?”

“mm.. he’s okay, I guess.”

“just okay?”

“he only really talks to me in front of mom. and when I tell him things he never remembers… he was the one who told me to be more rough at school! I told him someone hurt my feelings, and he said I should do the same back.. I knew it was wrong, dad’s always told me that.. I guess I was just trying to make him like me. Then he was the most mad at me after.”

you’re silent for a moment as you take in henry’s words. before you can respond, the lasso boy is talking again,

“what do you think i should have done?”

the question shocks you for a split second. you’ve always tried to make it very clear you never intended on being a replacement for michelle. you let henry get to know you at his own pace, get comfortable around you at his own pace.

“well, hen.. i think you should’ve done what you thought was right.”

“maybe..”

“what do you wish you would’ve done?”

“i don’t know? talk to him about it, i guess. kinda like dad talked to you about his feelings the other night.”

your eyes widened as you recalled the conversation. ted was telling you about how he felt michelle had wronged him, which you completely agreed with, but it wasn’t a conversation either of you wanted henry to hear. luckily, with how good of a man Ted is, he didn’t really say anything bad about her that henry could’ve heard, but still. henry’s a kid, his parents relationship shouldn’t have been a concern in his mind.

“hun, i’m sorry you heard that. that was an adult conversation. you know your dad loves your mom very much-“

“no, he’s just nice to her. she hurt his feelings and broke his trust, so he doesn’t love her”

honestly? henry was right. spot on, even. he was a smart kid, but your heart hurt at the thought of him coming to those realizations by himself. you knew michelle didn’t play a part in explaining anything to him, and ted tried the best he could, but sometimes it was hard.

“trust is a really tricky thing, hen-“

“not really.”

“how so?”

“i mean, i trust you. remember that time i fell and scraped my knee? i was sad that you only had brown bandaids and you promised me that we could go to the store the next day and get blue ones.”

you nodded along, remembering the day very clearly.

“the next morning you took me to get them. so now i don’t worry that you won’t be there for me, because i know you will.”

“i’ll always be here, bub.”

“i trust dad. i trust my friends ellie and spencer in class. i trust grandma, and grandpa- ooh and your mom! i like her too. she’s always nice to me when i visit. her cookies are so good-“

henry’s rambling made you chuckle and you pulled him in close.

“…but dad doesn’t love mom. i promise i’m right, y/n”

“and what makes you think that?”

“because he loves you, and kisses you, and tells you how pretty you are.”

your cheeks reddened, “well, he does do that”

“and even when you aren’t there! he always tells me how nice you are and how much you love us. mom doesn’t like to talk about dad, and it’s usually about how he talks too much. her and jake get mad when i talk about my dad.”

it frustrated you the way michelle so easily talked bad about Ted, especially in front of henry. especially when she was the one who seemed to have done some immoral things.

“i’m sorry, hen. you shouldn’t be in the middle, ever.. it isn’t fair. if i’ve ever made you feel that way, i apologize.”

henry shrugged his shoulders and played with the hem of your t-shirt.

“s’okay.. it isn’t you. i just wish i could stay with you and dad. dad is happier now, and you guys order pizza every week.”

you cackle before you can stop yourself, “only when you’re here, hen.”

“oh. well still. being here makes me happier. i like your cat, too. she always comes and sleeps with me at night..”

his eyes fluttered closed as the aforementioned cat hopped up on his bed. you brought a hand up to rub at his back over his shirt, something you always did when he was trying to fall asleep.

before he could get too comfy, ted came in. he was dressed in his pajamas and his hair seemed as if he’d been running his hands through it often. he sat down next to you on the bed and reached a hand out to smooth henry’s hair on top of his head.

“you tired, buddy?”

henry nodded.

“well i’m gettin’ there myself. i love you, hen. if you need anything come wake one of us up, y’hear?”, ted said before leaning over to kiss henry’s head. you smiled ad ted’s interaction with henry. the way he was as a dad made you swoon.

“i love you too dad.. goodnight”, henry said as he cuddled back into you.

after ted walked out, you spoke again.

“your dad and i love you so much, baby. even if you’re not here, if you’re ever sad or confused or angry.. or anything, you know we’re only a call away.”

he huffed before murmuring, “wish mom would just let me stay.”

your eyebrows furrowed. you wish he could stay, too. his confession tugged at your heart as you pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“love you, y/n”

“i love you too, henry bug.”

you scratched his back until his breathing evened out and he was asleep. when you were finally able to sneak away from his room, you tucked the blankets around him and turned off his lamp.

ted was sitting on the couch, hair wet and floppy from a quick shower. he looked so domestic and cozy in his t-shirt and flannel pajama pants, but the smile he gave you when he met your gaze didn’t make his eyes crinkle like usual. it was clear something was up.

his eyes stayed on you as you took a seat next to him and snuggled into his side like henry had previously done to you.

“you okay, teddy?”

he contemplated telling you he was fine for a moment. contemplated just brushing it off like he’d been practically trained to do in his marriage for so long.

“are you happy?”

“beyond happy, hun. i’ve got you, got henry bug, we just kicked ass building that lego set together, too. m’doing just fine.”

ted nodded softly as he mulled over your words. your hand played with a loose thread on his pants until he spoke again.

“just wonder if sometimes i should be doin’ more for you, y’know?”, ted’s words were soft and timid. behind them you could feel the side of him that was terrified of rejection. more specifically, your rejection.

“like what?”

ted’s shoulders shrugged, “dunno. maybe a trip to paris?”

“i don’t want a trip to paris, ted.”

his eyes were sad as he turned to look at you, “where do you wanna go, then?”

you shook your head at him softly. if you listened close enough it almost sounded like he felt you demanded a trip or some grand gesture.

“ted i don’t want a trip anywhere, i want you. i want you and henry, and i have that. i’m happy. with you, our relationship, all of it.”, you paused for a moment.

“have i done something or said something to make you think otherwise?”

ted shook his head immediately. “no, not at all! i just.. i’m used to having to guess.. and even when i guessed, everything was still wrong. i just don’t want you to be unhappy and me not know, o-or bored, or-”

“you’re spiraling, honey.”, you grab both of his hands in yours. “i fucking love you, ted. more than you could ever imagine. henry, too. you two make me so damn happy, and there’s not a single thought that’s ever crossed my mind that has anything to do with splitting us up. we’re a family now, ted. we’ve got something fucking great going. m’not interested in losing that, or you.”

ted chuckles at your firm tone, and although it’s a watery chuckle, it makes you smile.

“y’mean it?”

he sniffles and smiles more when you nod. you use his hands to pull him closer so that you can press a gentle kiss to his lips. after that, you move to his cheek, across his cheek bone, and over to his ear.

“i’m more than happy, hun. more than you know.”

ted let out a content hum before putting his hand on the back of your head and pulling you in for another kiss.

this one was more intense, and you swung a leg over his lap as you moved to straddle him. his warm hands found a home on your hips and he gave them a loving squeeze. your lips pressed slow, warm kisses to his neck. soft sighs left his swollen lips as he let his head fall against the back of the couch.

“you make me a happy man, darlin’..”, his voice was low and full of need.

you hummed against his neck in response as you slipped a hand under his shirt, and brushed across the hair on his belly. he let out a soft moan at the way you angled your hips forward to reach the other side of his neck. the sound made you chuckle and you brought your lips to his ear.

“shh, honey. gotta stay quiet for me.”

your words made him whimper, especially combined with the slow movements of your hips against his throbbing cock.

“ohhh-“, his groan was cut off once your lips were on his. his tongue swirled and prodded against yours as you found a rhythm grinding on top of him. you swear you heard him whine when you pulled away.

you bit your lip and smiled at the way his lips chased yours.

“can’t fool around on the couch tonight, baby.. we gotta go to the bedroom, c’mon”

his eager “yes mam” as he got up to follow you only made you more excited.

as soon as you stepped into your room, you slipped out of your shirt and sweatpants, ted mirrored your actions with a smirk.

ted pulled you in by the waist before you could lie back on the bed. his hands were warm against your bare skin and the hair across his abdomen tickled as you pushed yourself up against him. his mouth captured yours in a hot kiss, full of need. his teeth were biting at your bottom lip, tongue swirling with yours as your breathing grew labored.

one of his hands slid up to tangle itself in your hair. he pulled your head to the side as his lips made their way down your neck, and across your shoulders. ted sucked and nipped at your collarbone, leaving marks you hoped wouldn’t be too noticeable tomorrow.

“oh… honey”, you whispered.

ted hummed against your skin as he softly brushed his fingers over your belly and down to your pussy. you knew you were soaked. just the thought of having him to yourself, knowing he was all yours, had you burning with desire.

his thick fingers slid inbetween your lower lips, spreading your slick arousal and occasionally swiping over your swollen clit.

“need you to use me, honey..”, ted’s words were almost inaudible as he moved up to kiss your jaw. a smirk found it’s way to your lips as you batted your eyelashes at him.

“oh?”

“need y’to know i’m all yours. want to make you happy, please baby.”

you pulled him to get on the bed as an idea quickly formed in your brain. ted was always so eager to please, such a giver. he got off on making you feel good and loved being the one to make you orgasm. just knowing he was the only person seeing you and touching you that way was enough to make his cock throb.

you smiled and bit your lip as you instructed him, “lie back, teddy.”

a cheeky smile grew on his face, he immediately knew what was going on. one of his hands reached down to palm himself through his boxers while you straddled him and made your way up his body. by the time you were hovering over his face he was practically drooling in anticipation.

his eyes were lit up once you lowered yourself on him. ted’s arms came up to hold your thighs before he went to work. your eyes locked with his when he took that first lick, and you could tell by the look in them that this was exactly what he’d been hoping for.

he dragged his tongue up and down your folds, moaning at the taste of you. the nose of his you loved so much would bump against your clit every so often, making you whimper.

you watched as his eyes fluttered closed and he let himself get lost in the taste of you. his tongue seemed to never stop, prodding at your entrance, swirling around your clit, weaving through your lower lips. after a few minutes you brought your hands down to stroke at his hair, but your light touches soon turned into you full on grabbing his hair and using it as leverage.

ted admitted pretty early on that he loved when you pulled his hair. it was one of the first “new” things he’d realized he enjoyed after having sex with you.

your finger tugged gently at his thick head of hair and you slowly ground your hips down on his face. his hands moved from your hips to your ass cheeks, encouraging you and helping you move. the tip of ted’s nose pressed firmly into your clit with every rock, drawing moans out of you like it was nothing.

“mmm, ted.. that’s so good, fuck!”, you had to mentally remind yourself to stay quiet. it was a huge change from your usually loud moans and pleads.

as your orgasm built, you realized it was a good thing you were sitting on ted’s face. he was never good at keeping quiet. it was too easy to get lost in you.

when he finally opened his eyes to meet yours, his pupils were blown and his lids were hooded. you kept his gaze as you reached a hand up to pull at one of your hardened nipples, still using your other hand pull at his hair.

you opened your hand up to palm at one of your tits. the feeling combined with ted’s hands kneading your ass had you right on the brink of what you knew would be another amazing orgasm. ted was moaning into your pussy like a mad man, and the only thing more crude was the sounds that came from him putting in every effort to make you fall apart on his tongue.

“shit, oh- i’m right there baby..”

ted didn’t dare ease up on his grip as you came, holding you firmly against his face as you trembled on top of him. he worked you through your orgasm and when you went to get off his face, your thighs felt like they were going to give out.

as you lifted off him, he continued to lazily tongue at your now dripping cunt. he seemed to follow it with his mouth as you pulled away. you flopped beside him, your chest heaving, as you attempted to catch your breath.

ted, on the other hand, didn’t miss a beat. as you were practically gulping down air, he rolled over and began kissing over the swell of your tits. his face felt wet against you from where he ate you out, and just thinking about the dirtiness of it all had you wanting even more.

your breath hitched in your throat as his teeth scraped lightly over one of the pebbled buds. his lips were red and glistening, making them look even more perfect as he wrapped his lips around your nipple. almost like a chain reaction, the feeling had you squirming underneath him.

by the time he was satisfied, both your nipples glistened with the mixture of ted’s spit, and the remnants of your orgasm.

“you got another in you, darlin’?” his voice was gentle but full of need. his fingers softly stroked the sides of your quivering thighs.

“mhm.. want you deep, though. need to feel you..” your mind was hazy as your words trailed off.

“you know i’ll take good care of you, sweet thing..”

he softly grabbed at your hips, pulling you closer before flipping you over. you were entirely his, completely at his mercy. you needed him so badly you would’ve let him do whatever the hell he wanted.

ted’s hands pulled your hips into him, arching your back in the process. you’d grown needy, and when you softly pressed back onto him it was obvious he’d shed his boxers sometime throughout the night. the hair at the base of his cock was scratchy as it brushed over the skin of your ass. his cock was hot and thick against your swollen pussy, and you could barely form thoughts that weren’t of him.

the feeling of him backing away made you whimper in protest, but before you could speak, his hands were on your ass cheeks. you felt him pull them apart before his tongue collected more of your sweet arousal. ted squeezed your ass as he used it to pull you further into his face, completely burying his face into your most intimate places.

you gasped in surprise as his tongue moved upwards and prodded against your other hole, licking at you softly as his thumb came up to tap against your clit.

“ted, oh my god..”

he barely pulls away, “too much?”

“no no.. fuck please keep going honey”, your words were rushed as you were eager to get his mouth back on you.

just the thought of how dirty it was had you panting and groaning into the sheets. the action itself had your pussy clenching around nothing.

ted’s tongue poked and prodded at the tight ring of muscle as his fingers dug into the flesh of your ass. his thumb continued to tap and rub at your clit, making you whimper and push back onto his face. the man clearly didn’t mind. in fact, it felt as if he pressed his face further into you.

the hair of his mustache tickled but didn’t deter you one bit. ted’s spit was practically dripping between your cheeks when he pulled away.

words weren’t even forming in your brain, but you didn’t need them because a few seconds later the head of ted’s cock was brushing through your soaked folds. luckily, he didn’t tease you and eased himself in.

taking ted’s cock was always a stretch, but with your orgasm earlier and ted’s love for foreplay, it felt a tiny bit easier this time. ever the gentlemen, he still gave you time to adjust before pulling out and pushing back into you.

“honey you’re- fuck, so fucking tight.”

you could only moan in response as you worked your hips back against him as best as you could. with each stroke, his cock brushed your g-spot before nudging against your cervix. your face was buried in the pillow, because at this point, it was the only way for you to stay quiet.

as ted worked his cock in and out of you, you turned your head to the side and rested your cheek against the pillow.

“ted.. can you- shit- put your thumb- mmf, oh fuck!”

it was like he could read your mind. before you finished your sentence ted had brought a thumb up and was spreading the wetness from your previous activities around the tight ring of muscle seated right above where his cock was stuffed in your pussy.

you knew your only choice was to shove your face back into the pillow under your head as he slowly worked the tip of this thumb in. it was the only way for you to be quiet. ted’s cock hit the deepest part of you while he worked his thumb in and out of your ass.

“that feel good, darlin’?”

what he could barely make out as a “yes” left your lips as moans poured constantly from them. ted’s other hand reached around so he was able to rub at your clit, eager for your impending orgasm.

“shit, I can tell, baby. squeezin’ me so tight, ugh”, his accent had gotten thicker and it only added to the mess of fog in your head.

he worked you perfectly until you were on the verge of an orgasm.by now he knew every tell, every cue.

“i feel you, baby. that’s it.. come on my cock sweetheart, take it..”

ted’s filthy words combined with the perfect stretch of his cock, the added sensation from his thumb, and the tight circles he was rubbing on your clit sent you right over the edge.

the little sense you had left is what kept your face in the pillow as you came. your thighs quivered as ted shoved his cock as deep in you as he could manage before you felt his warm cum fill you up.

he eased his thumb from your ass as he pulled out and lied down beside you, immediately taking you into his arms.

“you okay, honey?”

“i’m… im good.. fuck, ted.”, you panted.

ted’s smile was confident as he pulled you in to kiss your face.

“i love you so much. i’m so glad you’re here for us.. so glad you love us.”, he murmured into the top of your head.

“m’not going anywhere, teddy.”

he hummed in response as you both came down from the post-orgasm high coursing through your veins.

thanks for reading!

#ted lasso smut #ted lasso x reader #ted lasso imagine #ted lasso fic #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso sluff #ted lasso comfort #ted lasso #my wiritng #sorry any michelle/jake lovers #this blog may not be the place for you

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