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#this elf and this dwarf might be gay
kirkwallfightclub · 11 months
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I had kind of half a characterisation for an Aeducen but it didn’t click until I downloaded the complete bi overhaul mod and made him have a weird gay thing with Gorim and now oh yeah it’s all coming together
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sandinthepipes · 15 days
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Ok, I know you might say tauriel is there for running time because 3 movies is a lot of time to fill, you might say she's there as a mirror for bagginshield. I don't care.
What I'm saying is mad lad Peter Jackson specifically put her there the way that he did for Legolas and Gimly.
Listen. Dwarf/elf relationship are basically queer. Doesn't matter the gender. The way it's framed is the same as queerness in our world.
And what's more true to the gay experiece than growing up together as besties, everyone including you thinking you're going to end up together, just for you to realize you're both gay.
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Bracket A Round 1
Poll 27
Citalopram Frynne - Tal for short (@michaelburnnham) vs. Aspen Wildwanderer (@glassthelocalgremlin)
Citalopram Frynne - Tal for short
he/him
He’s my babygirl and poor little meow meow. Pasting summary from his D&D backstory doc:
Tal, formerly Citalopram Frynne, is a Reborn Wild Magic Barbarian who died alongside his former adventuring party–dubbed the Ill-Fated Four–and was restitched into a new being as an amalgam of his former party. The Four met in a randomized meeting and became an extremely tight-knit party. Though they would not use the term for themselves, they were a platonic/queerplatonic polycule; at one point in time they got matching ceremonial daggers (almost akin to an engagement practice). Sadly, the Four were ambushed by a group of soldiers and killed. Tal was then reassembled from their remaining body parts and set out to track down and kill the soldiers who ambushed the Four.
pre-incident: dwarf of average height, shoulder length reddish brown hair, tan skin, angular square face, kind eyes. full on fighter armor
post-incident: the top half of his face is still his own, from the cheekbones and bridge of the nose upwards, the bottom half is a more slender green skinned chin and mouth with fangs (from the orc party member). part of his neck and right arm is also hers. his left arm is a metal prosthetic, and the hand is the original hand of the warforged’s party member’s. his torso is his own, and his legs are that of the elven party member’s. he covers his whole body except the top half of his face, in an outfit that resembles techwear
Aspen Wildwanderer
she/they/ae
she's trans and gay. they're oh so full of trauma (once i tried to make an alphabetized list of what's wrong with them). ae's part of a found family (other members to hopefully be added soon by my friends). she contains like three different kinds of guilt. they have unwillingly granted fire powers which have made their pre-existing fire trauma worse and they're now terrified of hurting their new family (also the fire powers are part of the recent development of them being part dragon. christmas tree color schemed blorbo <3). ae even has autism. i've dragged multiple friends of mine into blorboing her. their playlist is the second longest playlist on my spotify account. sometimes i get recommended songs that might fit aer. she also has the potential to ascend to godhood as part of the endgame of the campaign.
wood elf, mid-brown skin, dark brown hair in a bun + little twin braids in the front, golden brown eyes, scar on their left cheek. 5'3 and malnourished due to living mainly on the street for the past like. 14 years. wears a dark shirt/pants, plain worn-out boots, a green cloak (recently got a new one from one of her adopted sisters), and a blue bandana around her neck (important for reasons - memory of old family) and a crescent necklace. has ruby scales on their face, a pair of ruby scaled dragon wings that they can resize at will, and a pair of ruby red horns.
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weezlbot · 2 years
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What your favorite character from The Hobbit says about you
Some of these are only from the movies, sorry about that. 
Bilbo: You’re gay and you consider him representation. Or you only ever liked those YA books with a “sassy” male protagonist. Or you’re not very affected by secondhand embarrassment and love to see a pampered city boy out of his element. One of the three. 
Thorin: You love a good descent into madness. You’re either very strong willed yourself, or you aspire to be. You like to think of yourself as sound in your morals, leaderly and strong willed, but it verges into mulishness or bossiness at times. 
Fili: You wish you had a twin. Responsibility weighs heavy on you. You probably have been told to uphold your family’s reputation at some point, and you take this seriously. 
Kili: You’re probably an elf-fucker yourself. Like the Ori lovers, you love innocence--these world-weary old men don’t do it for you. You’re easily swayed by charismatic men.
Gloin: You prefer LOTR. Gimli is like a son to you and you don’t like his characterization in the movies. 
Oin: Healing makes you soft. You might want to be fathered yourself. Either that, or you have an Affliction that you wish someone would help you with.
Ori: Youthfulness and innocence and gentleness make a good person. You may aspire to this yourself. 
Nori: You have problems with authority. You might have had previous run ins with the law. Despite this, you aren’t cruel--you don’t want to hurt anyone, really, you just live your life on different terms than other people do. 
Dori: You consider yourself a third parent to your younger siblings, or you consider yourself parented by your older siblings. Either way, you crave siblinghood.
Bofur: Like the Kili lovers, you are easily moved by charismatic men. Unlike the Kili lovers, you prefer the flirtatiousness of an experienced lad. You probably use humor as a cope and you love to laugh. 
Bifur: You use humor as a cope. Even when it’s not appropriate. Comic relief characters are better than everyone else. 
Bombur: Your favorite character in LOTR was Fredegar “Fatty” Bolger. You’ll yell at anyone who says that they don’t find big bodies attractive, or you’ll seriously consider it. You like food and want to eat, like, all the time.
Dwalin: You love a grouchy old warrior with a secret heart of gold! It’s your favorite trope ever. You’re also probably a bit submissive when in relationships. 
Balin: You prefer the book to the movies. You long for the kindliness and wisdom of a loving grandfather. 
Gandalf:  You like smart guys. Younger you made edits highlighting the “sassiness” of your favorite character. Maybe you still do it now. You probably have granddaddy issues.
Elrond: You just want to be hugged. For a very long time. And the notoriously gentle Elven-lord is the perfect candidate. Like the Oin lovers, you may have an Ailment that you wish someone would be able to aid you with. 
Beorn: You might be a furry, but you’re repressed about it. You might have reclusive tendencies. Unlike most recluses, you’re not as bookish--you prefer traveling, wandering, and seeing new and interesting places. You prefer nature to cityscapes. 
Thranduil: Don’t lie. He’s only your favorite because you want to face his great Northern Serpent. Either that, or you like his woodsy aesthetic.
Legolas: You have an elf kink. You like fight scenes the best. You have daddy issues, probably. You might also lust for Tauriel. 
Tauriel: You probably are a dwarf-fucker. Either that, or you want to find her in the midst of her grief for Kili and... comfort her. Or you’re a 13-16 year old girl. 
Galion: Books > movies, always. You also love making headcanons. You like alcohol. Maybe to a problematic extreme. 
Feren: Once again, you love to make headcanons. You probably wish you were him, in the sense of being subservient to Thranduil and Legolas. 
Bard: Your favorite LOTR character is Aragorn. You probably favor his characterization in the movies. Civic-mindedness is a trait you value, in yourself and others. 
Any one of the Bardlings: You wish Bard was your dad. You may have daddy issues, or you’re just in need of a hug. 
The master of Laketown: You like to think you can fix men. You think “bootlicker” is a slur. 
Alfrid: You probably unironically listen to Weezer. 
Smaug: You’re a furry. Or a scaly. Or both. Or you want to roll around in gold coins like he does. 
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britcision · 11 months
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Okay it’s time for the primer for the Four Heralds AU cuz I’ve got so much to post and some of it only involves the heralds tangentially so other people might read it.
SO!
As the title suggests, there are four heralds of Andraste:
Tavi Adaar - a qunari mage woman, she/her pronouns, bisexual, mostly blind (late stage retinitis pigmentosa), 23
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Corin Cadash - a nonbinary dwarf warrior and blacksmith, they/them pronouns, sex positive asexual, ADHD and arthritic as hell, 42
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Lluciano Lavellan - an elf rogue, he/him pronouns, femboy, omnisexual twink, seizures both of the motor and absence variety, AuDHD cranked up to eleven, 25
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Séamus Trevelyan - a human warrior, trans man, he/him pronouns, gay as hell, chronic insomnia and hard of hearing (binaural, moderately severe), 37
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Only Séamus was actually supposed to be at the Conclave, but Lavellan is our game protagonist and victim of most major plot events
(A different group from Adaar’s mercenary troupe were supposed to be sent, but got waylaid on the road so Adaar’s group subbed in since they had the shortest travel time
Lavellan was actually specifically told to stay as far away from the Conclave as possible with his scouting, walked over a single hill, and said “hmm where was I not supposed to go again oh well can’t be important” and went to check out the Conclave
(He was hiding from the other actual Lavellan spy when he came across Justinia and Corypheus)
And Cadash is a menace to society, entirely stealth free, chronic pain bitch who is about as subtle as a sledgehammer, but an unforeseen flu ravaged the local branch of the Carta and since dwarves very rarely get sick, none of them knew what to do about it
Corin, being a blacksmith, at least had a semilogical reason to be carting a large load of lyrium, and no one who talked to them for five minutes would believe they were capable of being a spy, which was close enough at the last minute
Trevelyan is the oldest son of the Trevelyan family in the Free Marches, who hoped he would eventually become a templar right up until this whole “rebellion” thing made it a bit unsexy
He’s a knight instead, and actually prefers living and training with the knights to being at home so he did get himself one whole non-nepotism promotion
Most of his friends and all of his subordinates went to the Conclave with him to keep the peace and be a bit more impartial. Oops.)
This whole thing mainly started with me looking at Cole and going “you know what would be funny and extremely counterproductive? An Inquisitor with ADHD hanging out with Cole”
So now we have four beautiful, disabled, queer heralds because why stop at one?
(Tavi has also been fucking around with time magic, mostly around Slow spells, and it got weird with what Corypheus was doing and accidentally replicated the anchor they were all playing Keep Away with
Lluciano got hit in the face with at least one, he didn’t used to have the green face tattoos but so many Dalish do that no one has asked and he hasn’t noticed yet
None of them are at full power, but they’re not quite even quarters and can combine when focusing on the same rift to speed things up
Corypheus only needs one)
The full herald rundown will be linked here when it exists!
Fic (by me) and art (by @ekwolfwood) will be added in reblogs
Lluciano and Corin are staring in most of it so far, by dint of Luci being the main character and Corin being A Problem On Purpose slightly harder than the other heralds
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mimsyaf · 7 months
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I am watching The Witcher S3:
It is impossible (for me, ymmv) to give 2 shits about anyone in this fucking show except Yenn, that elf guy who Siri Ciri used to hang out with for a bit when she was fleeing Nilfgard in S1, Jaskier (but only because Joey Batey is marvelous), and Cahir because we stan one (1) deranged fanatic, and I guess also Fringilla because she seems as over it all as I am. Oh and Istredd my beloved, who so far has been in a total of 10 seconds of this season.
And you might say, well Mimsy, that’s a lot of people. To which I would reply that THERE ARE SO SO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE IN THIS and it is so confusing but not in a “keep up with the clever twists” kind of way but a what the fuck is ever happening at any given time kind of way. Like, everyone’s got at least 3 agendas and are double crossing each other all the time but I can’t keep track of ANY of it. And there are just too many existential threats. But anyway, despite the people I mentioned above that I do want to actually see, instead I am watching hours of footage of That Fire Dude, the king’s ambiguously rascally gay brother who I want to like but I seriously don’t have a clue what his deal is and also he needs to open his mouth more when he talks, Fucking Francesca and Filavandrel (I thought HE was supposed to be King of the Elves or whatever, but he just mopes around after her sorry ass), Fucking Francesca’s Brother Who Is At Least Now Dead, that other elf guy who talked like Bill Pullman and who was annoying but at least he also hated Francesca, Meanface Tissaia, That Very Hot Sorcerer Guy from S2 who I guess is sleeping with Tissaia and is leading the sorcerers or at least the AMAB ones (do THEY get turned into eels, or is that fate just reserved for girls), that guy who I think is supposed to be a dwarf but is mostly just Scottish. that Redanian king and his spymaster Dykstra or however he spells his name (actually I would climb that old man like a tree but I hate his stupid storyline also because I have no idea what he and bird lady are even trying to DO), The White Flame Who I Guess Used To Be The Hedgehog Guy but seriously the actor playing him is like 30, I guess he fathered Ciri when he was 16, Ciri Herself, Geralt’s offscreen-fridged mother, that Druid lady (I like her werewolf bf though), that fake version of Ciri who sometimes talks in a weird voice, and The Wild Hunt. Who I guess are supposed to be terrifying but who just remind me of Gwar tbh. Oh and maybe Simon Callow is in it, or was? Above all I do not give a flying fuck about Geralt, which is kind of a problem. He’s BORING. He’s so BORING. And he’s onscreen so much of the time.
I dunno, people’s fic about the video games made them sound fun, were those fun? This is decidedly more unfun with each season although it is kind of queer and has many many beautiful people to look at. It also has a lot of non-specific vibes and I guess I’m watching for that. But if one more person says “The Continent” again I am going to lose my shit.
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thephantomcasebook · 11 months
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i read a theory that emma d arcy is right now in spain because she will join rhaenys at rooks rest fight
i am seriously so pissed if thats true
like why are house of dragon writers so biased towards black team????!!! Why do u want green team to be one dimensional villains whereas black team are just one dimensional good people, heroes?
In the books, there was a good and bad side to characters. I loved how rhaenyra and aegon were balanced out in the book. And now the show makes everything about gay tension between alicent and rhaenyra. When there is so much more depth to be explored within these great character stories ;((
This might not seem like an answer to your question.
But it is on a fundamental level.
And this is important.
When you are a showrunner, especially a showrunner of a large franchise genre show, you have to give the air of confidence that you know what you are doing. Because, if you don't, than the studio will note you to death, because, they don't trust you to do the job. Especially if they're shelling out a shit ton of money and riding a lot of the future of their company on your success.
Ryan Condal, while a pretty good writer, that guy ... his inability to get production off the ground and missing several deadlines to do so, is why Rhaenyra is now breaking canon by fighting in battles. Cause, I guarantee you, that was a studio note by some fuck head executive who doesn't understand why they're spending all this money for "Strong Female Character" to sit around and do nothing while "Older Strong Female Character" get's her fucking ass handed to her and gets a good chunk of the "Diversity, Inclusion, and Equity" army destroyed by three White Men.
Any other showrunner would be able to tell the studio executives why Rhaenyra isn't at the battle, why she won't be fighting, and why the story is playing out as it is. But, because, Condal couldn't even finish scripts on time and produce coherent story arcs from the disastrously fucked up 1x08 - 1X10. The studio had to step in and basically hold the budget hostage till their demands are met while their people got the show off the ground.
Example:
There is a very, very, reliable source that claims that Sara Hess and another female writer were given a very pivotal episode to write in Season 2. They did four - FOUR! - Drafts of this script and it was getting progressively and progressively worse the more they worked on it. Eventually, in the 11th hour, GRRM himself, came in, took it from them, and quickly rewrote the episode personally - almost from scratch - and turned in just at the studio deadline.
This is what happens when you have chaos in pre-production. If the Studio has to come in and fix things personally, then they take your show from you and run it from a corporate board room.
This exact thing happened to "The Hobbit" movies. Peter Jackson was only a Executive Producer on the films. Guillermo Del Toro was supposed to be the director. However, because, of pre-production chaos and Del Toro leaving. Jackson had to come in and direct a production that was completely studio controlled at that point. Thus, we get Elf/Dwarf love triangles, gross out humor, and a trilogy of movies rather than two.
Sum it for me Bobby B!
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tiny-elf-of-doom · 10 months
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The Cloak-and-Dagger Game - DA2
M!Hawke x Fenris ft. Varric
Varric is writing another book and needs inspiration for his protagonist's sex sequence. To ensure his knowledge is clear as glass, he decides to snoop around Hawke's mansion to see what he and Fenris get up to. The dwarf ends up pleasantly surprised.
MDNI 🔞: sex, gay boys, top!Hawke, bottom!Fenris, flirting, dirty talk, language, erotic massage, rough kissing, spying, humor, Varric is hilarious, and plenty of banter.
In my attempts to complete my most recent tale, I've found myself in a rut; stuck with a lack of creativity. This happens among writers many times in their lives, but through trials and tribulations, or perhaps sheer luck, they break down such blockages. Unfortunately for me, I've been staring at this page for a while now, and of course its a heated scene.
I would love to think of myself as a sexually involved man, a romantic lover, but moments like this brings me to opposite conclusions. Perhaps I need to get into the mood when I write these sequences, or ask someone how to go about establishing the involvement of two men. I wipe the annoyance from my tired eyes, knowing fully that asking that question would be rather complicated. Sebastian has probably never been touched in his life, nor has Anders, but Hawke has, and so has the broody elf, Fenris.
Perhaps the clouds have lifted. A warmth pools over my lower belly as I imagine their secret escapades, or perhaps its the ale. No one knows what kinds of lustful acts they conduct, which would make it hard to interrogate them. I nearly banish the thought from my mind when I recall a conversation had between them at the Hanged Man. Something about staying the night in Hawke's mansion to 'catch up' after all of three days of separation had passed. I could snoop around, wade my way through the mansion until I stumble upon his sleeping quarters. I'd stay in a tight closet, yes, Varric, very good!
And so it is settled, I play the cloak-and-dagger game.
~*~
If I hadn't been so dull, I would have left some space between myself and the damn linens. Closets in these large houses never fail to be stuffed with ridiculous clothing. Wriggling against the farbics, I peek through the grates on the side of the wood paneling. From there, two figures are seated on the carpet, enjoying wine next to the fire. It crackles, blazing gold against their casual garb. I don't think I've ever seen Fenris and Hawke dress so simply, especially in one another's presence. Firelight brightens their skin and for once in all of the time I've known the elf, he smiles. Chuckles, even, at the yarn Hawke begins to spin.
He's truly not that comical. Well, compared to me, at least.
"...and that was how I defeated a Qunari in battle with a broken sword," Hawke finished with a bow.
Fenris had clapped, smirking with full lips. "A true hero of legend!"
Hawke batted the comment with his hand," forget it!"
"Award him with anything he desires!" Fenris replied.
Of course, I feel happy for Hawke and that broody elf, but their interactions are anything but unique. Typical lovers congratulating one another on their accomplishments was mild drabble, I want more, and after a moment of feeling like a fool trapped in a closet, I finally have my wishes granted.
"Anything I desire?" Hawke coos, "I would like you in my bed, elf."
"Me? I'm sure you can find someone better..." Fenris might be serious, appearing self-conscious as his gaze is cast aside.
Suddenly, Hawke's voice lowers. "No, Fenris. You have always had my full desire. I only crave you."
Now we're talking. I wish I brought a quill and paper with me, though I doubt it would fit in that closet with me. Hawke pulls the elf into a kiss with the tug of his fingers under that dainty chin. It's slow at first, then picks up when they began to get handsy. To be completely honest, I have always wanted to see the full design of Fenris' lyrium tattoos. They peak out along his arms and throat, some on his legs, but I have never had the chance to truly see what kind of chaos covers his torso. Hawke has, and I am still slightly jealous for that.
The elf happily disrobes, sitting nude in the wake of the fire. White, glowing lines flow along every muscle, branching around his body as a tree in spring blooms outward. It's kinda cool, though unfortunate. All the pain of a full body carving, and for what? To rip people's hearts out? It doesn't seem very fair. Soon, Hawke joins him in the disrobing, throwing their clothes to the side nearest to this closet. I hold my breath, don't you dare bump anything.
Luckily, they don't seem to notice my shadow moving between the grates. I am safe for the moment, thank the Maker. Fenris climbs atop Hawke, straddling his left thigh. He moves along the bulging muscles with finesse and utmost experience. To my surprise, he begins to make a stream of noises I never thought I would hear. They are loose, sultry in the back of his throat. A songbird couldn't carry a pretty tune as this elf can. Hawke has his left hand settled on the elf's hip, moving it along with the smooth gyrations.
"Care to take a ride with me, my beautiful Fenris?" Hawke asks softly.
Fenris nods, "yes, I believe a ride is much needed."
Oh yes, I agree. Hawke lifts the elf into his arms and I can't help but adore the way broody elf's legs wrap around Hawke's strong torso. To the bed they go and I've lost visual on them. Goddamnit, I curse. I peer around the closet for any holes in the wood, but I am left with darkness. Perhaps if I slightly open the door, I can see the bed. Rattling is heard from the nightstand, so there is enough distraction and noise to hide my movements. Carefully as to remain hidden, I push the closet door forward until there is a decent view of the bed. To my relief, neither of them noticed the squeaking. Varric, if you ever do this again, don't choose the fucking closet next time.
Hawke takes his time kissing the elf, making sure his lips have ventured over every crevice and marking on Fenris' body. His moans are sweet, but grow desperate when his lover pushes his legs upward to touch his shoulders. Maker's balls, I can't believe how flexible the elf is. If anyone else in our group ever tried that, they'd be out of commission for a month. However, Fenris wraps his arms around his calves, keeping them in place so Hawke has full access to his ass. He dips down to plant a kiss on the back of the elf's thigh, relaxing his partner, no doubt. Fenris is always a nervous creature, so such tenderness is most definitely needed.
Then, things become interesting.
I watch as Hawke latches to the elf's backside, licking the skin and fucking the hole with his tongue. Broody elf's big, green eyes roll back into his head, flopping to the bedsheets in absolute delight. A tingle pricks at my belly, an excitement like no other. I may need to take care of personal business at this rate, but not here. The sounds are obscene and Fenris is eating them up, going so far as to grip Hawke's hair for dear life.
"G-Get the oil, Hawke," the elf pleads, "I want more than just your tongue inside of me."
"Is it that bad?" He joked with a wink.
"It's better than anything I could ever dream."
Cheesy as hell, and I roll my eyes. Another kiss is pressed to the elf's leg before Hawke turns to grab their decorative bottle of oil. It's in a gold vial covered in intricate markings, likely one of the treasures Hawke's been gifted over the years. A few drops suffice along with the man's spit to lube them both. The larger man lays back against the pillows, welcoming a needy elf to seat himself on his lap. Those markings glow brightly, nearly blinding me as I try to shield my eyes. One hand on Hawke's well endowed cock and one lyrium clad palm help ease the elf onto that incredible hilt.
Pain, plenty of pain causes the elf to cry out. Even I cannot help but flinch at the idea of being penetrated by something so thick. The stretch must be unforgiving, though broody is taking it like a champ. Hawke rubs the elf's hips, attempting to sooth the agony just a little more. It takes time, and I expect it to, but soon he's seated and breathing heavy. And this is why I don't bottom.
"Are you alright, Fenris?" Hawke checks in, voice gentle.
Fenris only groans, gasping for any words willing to be released. There appear to be none present, therefore, he ignores communication and starts to rock his hips. Bouncing up and down, he brings Hawke into a small fit of vocalization. It's everything I imagined it would be, just as masculine and deep as his usual voice. Opening up slowly, Hawke joins Fenris in thrusting upward into the elf, angling his hips in a different manner every time. I raise my brow in momentary confusion, what is he trying to accomplish?
Suddenly, Fenris cries out, gripping Hawke's strong forearms. I think I see trails of blood leaking to the bed. "Keep your hips like that and don't you dare shift them!"
Ah, I mumble to myself, he found broody's love spot.
The thrusting continues in this new position and Fenris is mewling like the most popular whore in all of Lowtown. I never thought I would be hearing Fenris lose himself in the wrung of pleasure, but here I am, stiffening from the men before me. Bianca will be jealous, but I ignore the thought and begin to palm at my trousers.
"Fenris, not so fast... I might-" Hawke growls, head thrown back against the plush pillows.
Fucking hell, Hawke.
The elf slams his mouth against his lover's, taking him in a deep, hot kiss. "Come, right now... fill me with your kin."
What the hell, Fenris?
It all becomes too much, even for me, and I watch as the two come undone within each other's grasp. Fenris releases himself all over the front of Hawke's stomach and chest while the champion of Kirkwall has found a safe place to expel his orgasm within the elf. In order to keep myself from joining them, I squeeze the hell out of my testicles, focusing on the pain as opposed to the pleasure. They collapse onto the bed, heaving breaths until the only sound in the room is the roar of the fireplace.
"Once you're up to it, how does a bath sound?" Hawke questions.
"Much needed," broody raises his head to kiss Hawke's cheek, "thank you, my darling Hawke."
"Always, Fenris," he had replied.
No, no, thank you both, I cackle in thought, for all of these incredible ideas. Hopefully, I won't get anything wrong when I tell this story.
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isthatmanahimbo · 2 years
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Today by request of @lost-disco-gay, we bring you Laios Touden!
Laois Touden is a main character and party member of the manga series Dungeon Meshi, first released in 2014 in Harta magazine. Dungeon Meshi is a fantasy seinen series that riffs off of common dungeon crawler RPG tropes, such as having adventuring parties comprised of different races of people in different combat classes fighting against monsters, collecting treasure, and resting in inns and pubs – the conceit of the series takes the life of an RPG protagonist and takes it a step further, begging the question "what do you eat when you spend months underground?" and answering with the delightfully Darwinian "oh you know ; )"
Laios is the human armored unit of his adventuring party, taking place at the front-line of battles with fellow party member Senshi, the dwarf barbarian. Together, the two serve as the main muscle of the group, as well as sometimes caretakers and monster-nomming advocates to the more squeamish Marcille and Chilchuck. It is Laios's curiosity and monster know-how which introduces the party to Senshi and to monsters-as-meals as a whole, and his role as the enterprising academic of the group is emphasized often and loudly.
As the knight-adjacent character in the group, Laios can be easily spotted amongst his adventuring party, standing head-and-shoulders above his dwarf, elf, and halfling compatriots, and filling the panels with his frame. This author would not necessarily categorize him as Beefy, especially when compared with the stature of characters such as Senshi or other races such as orcs, it must be mentioned that he is of above-average size for his race compared to other human adventurers that we've seen. While undoubtedly much of this bulk can be attributed to the armor, we would be remiss if we did not mention the core-shreddedness a man would need to heft around 80+ pounds of plate armor (not to mention supplies) every day for his entire life. The art style of Dungeon Meshi leans more cartoon-y, but we can imagine Laios's pecs and the planes of his back are a sight to behold.
Far and away, Laios's most impeccable himbo qualities are his kindness and, more importantly, his respect for the women around him. The story begins when Laios's sister is devoured by a red dragon, and he rallies the party to retrieve her immediately – as anyone would, but he never misses an opportunity to talk about how Falyn would have handled this-or-that situation with expertise and kindness, and often laments that he wishes he had been taken instead. And in his dealings with elf mage Marcille, Laios defers to and advocates her expertise (sometimes even in opposition to his curiosity regarding what a certain monster will taste like). Though it can be easy to mistake Laios as the leader of the party and primary protagonist, Laios rather more often seeks the approval of Marcille for larger decisions. And his respect for women doesn't just extend to the women he knows – in an end-of-volume short, Laios, while a captive of orcs, discusses how the two races are not so different, and his orc captor mentions that the women are nothing alike. Laios quickly disagrees, and begins listing off positive qualities of the orc women nearby, humorously backtracking when his orc captor begins to get the wrong idea that Laios is attracted to his wife.
But it is here that we must discuss Laios's himbo-detractors. Ever well-meaning, Laios unfortunately does not have the social acumen to navigate such interactions with anything resembling expertise. His mouth is frequent residency to one or another of his feet, and he stumbles over his words upon the realization that something he said might be misconstrued (which is with fair frequency). At some points, this is to the detriment of only his comfort, but at other times it leaves strangers and friends with a bad taste in their mouths. In one instance quite early on, Marcille is captured by a man-eating plant, and once she is released Laios puts his scientist cap on and asks her if the monster's mouth was comfortable (something he once read in a book). He does not live the comment down quickly. In another situation, attempting to recover from the existential gloom of wishing he had been eaten by the dragon instead of his sister, he light-heartedly comments that if she had not been eaten the party would not have gotten to eat a delicious spirit sorbet – to which the party promptly shuts him down. Affable in his buffoonery to us the audience, poor Laios does not have the makings of a Chad even amongst his loved ones (let alone the swerve required for a high Slut ranking).
And last but not least, his true defining characteristic: Laios is a sharp dude. Not only book-smart, which we see at least once a chapter wherein Laios lists off statistical facts regarding the monster-of-the-week (and the practical application of that knowledge, intellectually far beyond rote memorization), but we also regularly see Laios exercise a keen investigative mind, notably early on in the instance of discovering how the Living Armor moves and functions as an organism, and his sharp intuition moving forward regarding his new pet sword Kensuke. Another instance shows Laios and Chilchuck encountering mermaids, and before the sirens can ensnare the two Laios begins singing awkwardly and off-key, intuiting that someone who sings well would not want to be accompanied by someone who sings poorly – he's right, and in her disgust the mermaid swims away. Although socially awkward, it can sometimes be easy to miss that Laios contributes to the brains of the group, as well as the physical brawn.
We've plundered these depths, and unfortunately, that man is not a himbo.
Total Himbo Score: 15
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stealth-liberal · 1 year
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So, @randombtsprincessa tagged me in her Tulip Tagged Games, so here we go!
1. Three Current Ships:
1st- Sesshomaru x Sango (Inuyasha): Non-canon as all hell, but I loved this ship back in the day. My daughter has discovered anime, and I'm doing a rewatch of Inuyasha with her and rediscovered the love. Thankfully, people produce fics for this pairing.
2nd- Killi x Tauriel or Killiel (The Hobbit movies): I've been a fan of this pairing from the very moment they shared the movie screen together, and I still am now. The Hobbit was in DESPERATE need of female characters as there were zero in the book, and so Tauriel is a movie only character and their romance is movie verse only. I love the gender flip dynamics on this one. There's an age gap, she's the older one because she's an elf and he's a dwarf. There's a height difference, she's the taller one because, again, she's an elf and he's a dwarf. There is the badass and damsel dynamic, but she's the badass and he's the damsel in distress.
3. Siuan x Morraine (The Wheel of Time): I'll be upfront, I do NOT like the books, but I enjoy the TV series. This pairing has everything, longing, secrecy, tragedy, redemption, sexy hotness, and the fact that they were made for each other. This is a WLW pairing, and I am an unabashed femslasher. I guess I will take this time to bemoan the fact that great WLW pairings get next to no love in fandom while MLM pairings are panted after with an intensity that borders on the desperate. As a queer woman I say this: Tis not fair.
2. First Ship:
Kazami x Sui (NP by Banana Yoshimoto): As a bisexual girl growing up in a time where gay and lesbian representation was few and far between, there was even less about bisexuality. NP was a novel about a young Japanese woman named Kazami Kano who was struggling with, among other things like translating a short story that seems to result in the suicide of everyone who tries to translate it, the notion that she might be bisexual and that she might be attracted to and want to date a woman named Sui. This was the first time I REALLY shipped a pairing, that I invested beyond the norm in a couple. I was just so happy to see this depiction of emerging bisexuality in a young woman, that I gobbled it up. I still own this book, and every now and then, I will reread it.
3. Last Song I Listened To:
Artemis by Lindsey Stirling
4. Last Movie I Watched:
I just rewatched The Old Guard on Netflix with Charlize Theron. Can't wait for the sequel to come out this year!
5. Currently Reading:
The Ghosts of Eden Park by Karen Abbot: It's a gossipy true crime/history book about bootleggers, murder and Prohibition in 1920's Cincinnati, Ohio. What can I say? Crime is always classier when it's in the 1920's.
6. Currently Watching:
I just finished, as in yesterday, season 1 of Surreal Estate on Hulu. It's a SciFi network show about a fictional real estate agency that specializes in selling haunted houses. It's not a Ghost Hunter style show, it's a regular horror/comedy show. It's really fun and everyone should watch it. Season 2 will be released sometime this year.
7. Currently Consuming:
I just ate 3 pieces of Godiva chocolate that I got for Valentine's Day and drank a passion fruit La Croix.
8. Currently Craving:
Like any good Jew on a cold and windy day, I am craving shakshuka. Which are yolky eggs cooked in tomatoes, with peppers, garlic, other spices, and at least in my family, served over rice.
Now to tag some other people!
@bts-hyperfixation @stillthecozywhaleshark @reliablemitten @thebirdmum
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twicearoundthebend · 3 months
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Hi, I was going through the blitzstone tag and saw your tags. Thought you might be interested in this. If not, sorry for bothering you.
The Journey to Find Mimir - Chapter 1 - welshaphrodite - Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan [Archive of Our Own]
I literally just binged this whole fic in like a day, it’s so good!! Thank you for sending it to me <3
Sorry for my many sleep deprived comments, I literally fell asleep reading it (like could not keep my eyes open but so much wanted to read One More Chapter) woke up, and immediately went back to reading. I am Hooked.
This is canon to me. It’s the slow burn elf/dwarf romantic prequel I’ve been dreaming of since my first read through. Thank you for creating this masterpiece
Anyone who HASNT read it- go read it!! The dialogue and phrasing is 100% the style and humor of the original series, literally perfect. The characterization?? The drama?? The Perfect oc’s?? Gays??? This fic has it all folks!
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let-me-iiiiiiiin · 6 months
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alright, hang on, this might actually be good????
cringe-worthy dialogue aside I can actually see potential in the new expansion. I checked out a more detailed review of the new features. let's go.
Female Dwarves have BEARDS now
Not gonna lie, this is when I realized things may not be so dire. If they hadn't cared at all, they would have just reskinned the dwarves. But they're doing much more than that!! Actual BEARDS for FEMALE DWARVES!!!! I think this really shows that they are not just going to make another cash-grab. Upon closer look I also really like how the crystals look like. It may even make up for the boring faces!!
2. Delves
Honestly at first I thought they were referring to the dwarf-elf hybrids, but then I realized no, they are talking about CAVERN DELVES. As in, DELVING. Slight disappointment, but not too much, because I did honestly enjoy the adventures in the Zaralek cavern. I think more of that might be nice.
3. Universal Dynamic Flight
YES. THANK YOU. I'VE BEEN WANTING THAT. I'VE BEEN WANTING THAT SO MUCH. The option to toggle between the two is also extremely good, especially from an accessibility standpoint.
4. The everything else
Honestly, the features don't look half-bad. I think they might be working with good intentions here, because I can't really see anything wrong with them. They don't really clash with existing features, and they aren't really super flashy, and they don't seem to be clunky. Still unsure about hero talents (because lmao they are really adding sub-classes to sub classes) but let's see how they handle it before roasting the hell out of it.
Now, for the story. (I'm not looking forward to this, but here we go.)
"we witness thrall and anduin having a moment"
*spits water* having a WHAT??
2. Anduin's angst
I do make fun of the cinematic for its dialogue decisions but I am glad that they are not glossing over anduin's gruelling experiences. he is so young but he has been through literal hell, unwillingly and then willingly. It takes time to get acclimatized to (relatively) peaceful existence.
On the OTHER side of this scale, I do dread how they are going to handle this. I read (and write) fanfiction, so I am aware of the many ways fans have written about their favorite characters getting and healing from trauma. Sometimes, it ends up becoming very melodramatic. With how dragonflight was handled, I do hope they will be able to keep this from becoming something of a gag. The chances of anduin's angst becoming pure senseless whump are low, but never zero. Unfortunately.
3. Alleria Windrunner "unique rivalry" with Xalatath
Just say toxic lesbian yuri. We all know what's going to happen. You cannot trick experienced homoerotic subtext readers. "being torn between her own nature and the maddening call of the Void to which she is attuned" that is an INCREDIBLY lesbian description, are you AWARE OF THAT???? A "unique rivalry" whose "twists and turns will come to define the nature of this new conflict", just say it's enemies-to-lovers okay???? love wins. hate also wins cause toxic yuri. Also, her story description has the LONGEST paragraph among the listed NPCs. That alone proves it.
Seriously, just look at what they wrote for Anduin, their specialest little boy:
'Anduin Wrynn: Having survived his ordeal with Domination, he will grapple with his relationship with the Holy Light that he no longer feels worthy of.'
ONE SENTENCE. Whereas Alleria has a whopping THREE SENTENCES in a LONG-ASS PARAGRAPH.
As long as they handle this as homosexually as possible, I am willing to forgive Alleria for "my..... visions..... are not like the others..... (gay)"
4. The Arathi (aka the human tribe in the new zone)
Honestly, no opinions. Depends on how they handle the story.
5. Nerubians (and a possible spider allied race in the future)
Alright, I have a few thoughts on this. We may ask Blizzard for characters of ALL kinds of races, but that depends on whether it's worth it to introduce all these things. (Mainly for money reasons I'm guessing, but also from functionality of the NPC race as a player character, and a variety of other things).
One thing about the playable races is that they are made with all sorts of animations. Sitting, flying, free-fall, kneeling, sleeping, and all those other stuff have their own animations. Some of these you will see whether you do or don't want to (like the pose of your character while they are on a mount).
And without exception, all playable races have to have the essential animations, and they must not look unnatural. Sure, they might look a bit weird, they should not look impossible.
A thing about nerubians is that they are, well. SPIDERS. They have a lot of legs. That's a lot of limbs to coordinate. The designers would need to figure out how to do the animations for something that is almost as long and wide as it is tall, and that's made a lot more difficult by the simple fact that nerubians are SPIDERS. I repeat: SPIDERS. If you cannot imagine a Nerubians riding your Mammoth mount, I assure you, the designers likely can't either.
BUT. Not all hope is lost. Because there is something unique in the concept designs in the Blizzard post...
Please take a look at the image below:
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You can see here that while most of these designs are not playable race-friendly, ONE among them is.
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This character is bipedal. They seem to have a tail behind them (you might see the shadow between their legs, which, disappointingly, is not a gigantic cock) but we already have characters with tails. Namely, the newly introduced Drachtyr. And while it is not exactly typical to have a character with four arms, it is not too big of an adjustment. THIS character would most likely be able to sit on a mount without trouble.
It is also, remarkably, wearing almost a full set of armor. One notable thing about playable races is that they are all able to have transmogs, which is a thing blizzard wants to make accessible for everyone because it's such a popular feature of customizing your character. The other spider NPC models are only wearing tabards or helms and etc, but this one has: a helmet, a pair of pauldrons, a chest piece, gloves, a waist item, and BOOTS of all fucking things. Also, do you see its pose? That's a classic Horde Night Elf stand (I'm sorry I don't remember their names). Everything about them screams "made for future player gameplay"
I'm guessing that once Xalatath and Alleria make up and have hot lesbian (redacted), the nerubians will join the fold and we will have our hot monster playable race. Rejoice!!
Also, look at these quotes: "Queen Ansurek has embraced these modifications [...] The society of nerubians offers up a citizenry in a variety of forms, some of which we’ve never seen before." This feels like they are really going to do it. I'm guessing we will get them at the end of War Within or at the end of the expansion trilogy. Which is nice! Always wanted to play a weird fucked up race tbh. The Dracthyr are cool, but more variety is always more fun.
6. Kobolds are coming back
Yessss. It's been a moment since I last saw those little fuckers. I hope to see more of them.
7. The everything else
Honestly... This is not looking bad either. I was pretty hasty with my judgement during the first look, but that was because the dialogue just squicked me. I am glad that they are taking this seriously and with great thought, and I hope to see the results in the coming years. I am looking forward to seeing what they do with all these ideas!
ok. i'm going to play now. guardians of dream is out
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unnamedelement · 3 years
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Part 3: This Elf and This Dwarf *Might* Be Gay
X
Let’s sail into the West together—no homo! (LesbiReal, tho, they are—in the most conservative interpretation of the facts—at least enjoying a QPR or an exceptionally romantic friendship.)
they’re in love, your honor
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ineffectualdemon · 3 years
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I like that Catholic as Fuck Tolkien wrote that Legolas smuggled Gimli into heaven and was able to do so because they just loved each other that much
"We have heard tell that Legolas took Gimli Glóin’s son with him because of their great friendship, greater than any that has been between Elf and Dwarf. If this is true, then it is strange indeed: that a Dwarf should be willing to leave Middle-earth for any love, or that the Eldar should receive him, or that the Lords of the West should permit it."
And he adds in it also helped that Gimli really wanted to see Galadriel again but also Legolas as Gimli love each other just so fucking much guys
Like so much
Which implies that gays might not be allowed in heaven the normal way but we are totally capable of breaking in and once we're in no one can stop us or kick us out
It's like heaven is god's apartment and once god finds us in the kitchen at 3am with a bag of Doritos having snuck in the back window they just go "well I guess you live here now" before going back to bed
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sassywitchprincess · 4 years
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What your D&D race REALLY says about you:
Dragonborn: You like to be the center of attention and you have a knack for dramatic flair— Or you just really like lizards.
Dwarf: You’re short and you have a lot of pent up anger about it. You’re also the kind of person who adheres to the ten second rule when food hits the ground.
Elf: You’re maybe a little bit pretentious but mainly you like the idea of fucking off to the woods and never having to deal with idiots again. Also you are probably gay.
Gnome: You are the manic pixie dream girl and/or you are a bastard without limits. You might have picked the class as a joke but now you would never pick anything else.
Half-Elf: You’re a really friendly person but you’re too shy to initiate conversation so you just let people come to you first and then someone mentions one (1) thing you’re into and you implode.
Halfling: You really are just Motherfucker Unlimited, huh? You like to cause chaos and you will probably kill at least one NPC unprompted.
Half-Orc: Either you are a woman and you are a lesbian or you are a man and you drink your respect women juice either way you have a thing for big arms.
Goliath: Your favorite character in any movie, show, or book, is the gentle giant. You are desperate for love and affection from your friends but too shy to admit it.
Genasi: Kind of depends on the element, but generally you either are an extrovert or would be if you had just a little more self confidence.
Aasimar: You either play this character straight and you are a perfect cinnamon roll or you play the “fallen angel” and you are an absolute edgelord, no in between.
Aarakocra: You are either a furry or you just can’t stand the idea of someone having the same character as you so you picked the one you’ve never heard of before. Also flight. The fact you can fly was a big deal.
Human: You like to keep your options open and you don’t like the idea of anything being handed to you. You’re a hard worker but also you have commitment issues.
Goblin: You are a goblin.
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winntir · 2 years
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What Your Fantasy Race Says About You
Aasimar: Equal or opposite to Tieflings.
Bird-Face: You want to fly but can't bother to take flight training or try breaking the laws of physics.
Cat-Face
You're a furry.
You're not taking this seriously.
Both.
Centaur: It's not necessarily that you want to be one; you might just wanna get raw dogged by one.
Changeling: You're way too interested in shape-shifting for me to think you're at all cisgender.
Dwarf: You want to like vikings, but can't be bothered to unpack all of that.
Elves: You're a bitch
Dark Elf: You're an edgy bitch.
High Elf: You're a posh bitch.
Moon Elf: You're an astrology bitch.
Wood Elf: You're a hippy bitch.
Half-Elf: All of the above.
Faun: Your favorite fantasy series is either Percy Jackson or Narnia.
Gnome: You're so into The Hobbit that you went around without shoes or socks during your childhood, maybe even now.
Goblin: You stole a lot of shit as a kid and don't think a lot about possible anti-Semitism.
Halfling: Gnome Alt.
Human: You're boring.
POC Human: You're tired for fantasy being so white.
Minotaur: Look at Centaur.
Orc: You like big bodies and what they could do to you.
Half-Orc: Same as before, but you're also a slut for the found families trope.
Tieflings: You are gay.
Vampire: You like the aesthetic and sexuality and don't understand just how fucked up Dracula really is.
Warforged: You'd rather be playing sci-fi.
Werewolf: Again, Centaur
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