#this classifies as an addiction at this point

[catt-leya]

Hi babe!

I saw that your requests were open and I jumped on the occasion lol.

I am a sucker for the jealousy trope, so I thought of something along the lines of like; Rick and reader are not together, but everyone knows that they like each other and there is like an unspoken band between those two. They arrive at Alexandria and there is someone from there who has eyes on the reader. They like idk do everything so that the reader has to work with them and so on. From there on u can choose what happens! But jealous Rick is a need at this point lol.

Thanks babe, have a lovely day!💖

Sucker For Pain (18+++) || Rick Grimes

The fic has gotten a little out of control 👉🏼👈🏼😅 (14 pages sweeties 💗) have fun 💗💗💗

Trigger: Mention of spanking, dirty talk, oral sex, choking (?), breeding (?) and my usual smutty stuff

Gently, you push the door of the barn shut behind the others and remain alone with Rick and the new one.

Concerned, you look over at the bound man, who has introduced himself as Aaron. 

Not because you think he's a danger to you, but rather because you think Rick is a danger to him.

Aaron gave you the opportunity to find a community and instead of listening to him and giving him a chance, Rick punched him in the face and knocked him unconscious.

Now he's awake again and it doesn't look like he's doing badly, but you're not a doctor either and can't really tell.

Sighing, you avert your eyes from Aaron and look to Rick, who is looking in a bag in the back of the barn.

He's bending over and the old brown shirt is straining against his shoulders, which is probably proof enough that he's changed not only mentally, but physically as well. 

When you met him, it wasn't lanky, but being forced to do a lot more physically than before hasn't passed him by without leaving a mark, and you have to force yourself not to gape at him as you slowly walk in his direction. 

Immediately he senses your presence and straightens up to his full height so that he towers over you significantly and you have to tilt your head slightly back to look at him, "Knocking him unconscious wasn't necessary."

Rick watches you put your small hands on your hips and is once again fascinated by how small and almost dainty you seem to be next to him. 

He's also well aware that you make an interesting contrast when you reach for his dirty hands, as you are doing now.

After the long time outside without a solid roof over his head, he probably looks like a Neanderthal, and you're reaching into his beard and pulling out a dry leaf makes him blink several times before he answers more hoarsely than intended, "You're worried about him?"

You can see him trying to classify whether you're worried about Aaron or simply don't approve of his actions, so you wrinkle your nose and put your small hands on his shoulders. Even through the fabric of the shirt, you can feel the sheer force underneath. 

You love the way his body feels under your hands, and you know he likes it when you touch him, too. 

He's never flinched before, and seems to really puff up when you reach for his hand at times, or let your hand slide over his torso. What you don't know is that Rick is electrified every time you are this close to him and is addicted to showing others that you are his. 

He is careful not to tell you that he sees you as his property and he is aware of how primitive it sounds, but it is just a switch that flips on him as soon as another guy looks at you or you show interest in another.

Simply to prove it to himself and your unwilling visitor that you belong to him, he leans over and puts his hands on your hips as he whispers in your ear, "Are you afraid I'm going to punch him again?"

Your whole body reacts to this sudden closeness. 

You move closer to him and can only hope he doesn't hear how unnaturally rough your voice is, "Just don't do it."

You notice how he seems to hesitate for a moment before he breathes a small kiss on your neck and then moves away from you, nodding slightly, "If he doesn't give me a reason."

The spot his lips touched feels like it's on fire and you clear your throat softly as you let your hands slide off his broad shoulders, "Him looking at me is not a reason, understand?"

Your voice shoots up in a way that makes Rick laugh, "Depends on how he looks at you." You don't suppress the urge to roll your eyes, "Rick!"

Surprised that he's suddenly so eager for physical contact, you wince slightly as he presses another kiss to your cheek, "I get it, baby."

It's not until he pulls the barn door shut behind him that you realize he called you ‘baby’ for the first time and you're stuck in place. 

He probably just said it as a joke because you pushed him like an overprotective wife. 

Yeah, right. 

That must have been it. 

You're not the kind of people who give each other pet names like that. 

It's different between you.

Quickly shaking your head to get the thought out of your head, you see Aaron smiling broadly, "You make a cute couple. How long have you been together?"

Your eyes dart back to the door Rick disappeared through, and you're sure he's not far away and will probably walk back in the door any second, so you quickly say, "I don't think we're a couple."

He raises his eyebrows and even before he says it he knows what he's going to say, "You think?"

Sighing, you take a step in his direction and drop to the ground with enough distance between you and him, "I don't know what we are."

You can clearly tell Aaron is much more relaxed since Rick left the barn, which also seems to loosen his tongue, and he looks at you with interest, "Feel free to correct me, but didn't he call you 'baby'? I'd call my boyfriend that, but definitely not someone I just get along with."

You look up at the ceiling, "I'm sure he meant that as a joke because I was acting a little wifey."

He opens his mouth, but closes it immediately as the door is pushed open and Rick comes back in. 

Immediately his eyes are on you and you smile at him, "Are you okay?"

Hesitantly he nods, "The others are back and we're going to his camp. But on my terms."

…

Rick's conditions turn out to be quite dangerous, but since no one contradicts him, you pack your things and follow his instructions on who goes with whom.

As you might expect, you ride in the car with Rick, and instead of putting you in the back seat with Michonne and Aaron, he pulls you into his lap in the passenger seat. 

You don't claim that you don't like being this close to him, and Rick would have to be a total idiot if he didn't enjoy the way you lean relaxed against his chest, your pretty butt resting on his thigh.

He doesn't really think about it as he puts his left hand on your thigh and watches you play with the wedding ring on his hand. 

Just months ago, it bothered you that he still wears it even though his wife passed away and he assured you several times that he was over it and doing well. 

You didn't want to tell him at the time that it somehow bothered you that he was still wearing the ring anyway, but he noticed it himself and gently pulled you to him. 

Your back was pressed against his chest and he whispered softly in your ear, "I only wear the ring as a reminder of who I used to be. That's all it is."

Now you're ready to accept it and swallow that little ounce of jealousy towards a dead woman.

Lost in thought, you turn the ring on his finger and notice something on your back. 

Blindly, you reach back and graze the spot on your back. 

The feeling disappears and you run your finger along the veins from his forearm to his hand, that's when you notice it again and when you realize what it is, you cry out. 

Glenn, who is driving the car, hits the brakes full on. You are pushed forward and Rick is immediately wide awake, "What is it?"

Frantically trying to get to your back, you shriek perhaps a little too hysterically, "There's something crawling on my back. Oh my God."

You fidget around on Rick's lap and Glenn, shaking his head, starts driving again, "If that's all it is."

As calm as Glenn is, the more hysterical you become, and in a panic you press against Rick, who is frozen in his seat, until you whimper helplessly, "Make it go away. I beg you…make it go away."

At the way you sound scared, his heart softens and he reaches for your shirt and pulls it up over your back. 

Gently, he puts a hand on the back of your neck and pushes you forward a little so he can see your bare back and runs his hand over it, "Shhhh. I'm doing it."

At your reaction, he was expecting a cockroach the size of your hand, but it's just a small spider, which he just tosses to the floor of the car and then says softly, "It's all good again."

You turn your head and look back over your shoulder at him, "You sure?"

Without taking his eyes off you, he runs his hand slowly down your back one more time and now you can't hold back the goosebumps.

He releases his hand from your neck and you take a deep breath. 

The critter is gone and you don't even want to know what it was. 

Actually, it's sad that you're more panicky about creepy-crawlies in this world than you are about a single walker, but you didn't choose it.

Still sensing how tense you are, Rick slides his hand from your bare back to your stomach and pulls you back against his chest. 

He is well aware that it would be more appropriate to leave his hand on your shirt, but he can't bring himself to remove his hand from your warm skin and the shame of taking advantage of you disappears when he notices how you rest your head on his shoulder and your breath regularly hits his neck. 

It doesn't seem to bother you and you even enjoy it, feeling so safe in his arms that you even close your eyes and slowly doze off.

Unfortunately, this peace doesn't last long as a jolt goes through the car and Rick yells, "Go, go, go!"

You tear your eyes open and see a huge horde of walkers blocking your way. 

Glenn has run over a few, but not nearly enough to keep you safe, and when suddenly a light shoots into the air in the middle of the forest, everything happens very quickly.

Aaron, who had been sitting in the back seat a few seconds ago, was gone. 

Rick, who immediately wanted to be in control of the situation, pushes open the door and pushes himself out of the car with you. 

You stumble to a halt and he grabs your hand. 

He clasps it tightly and with Michonne and Glenn in tow, he pulls you into the woods. As you run, he hisses, "Stay with me. I want you to hold my hand the whole time and don't you dare let go of me, understand?"

Completely disoriented, you nod and let him drag you deeper into the forest. 

Because he, being right-handed, clutches your right hand with his left, you can't reach for the knife and trust that Rick knows what he's doing and won't kill you that way after all.

Behind you and Rick, Glenn and Michonne are running, and you flinch when you hear Rick shoot and turn to face forward again. Everywhere you look there are walkers and you tug on Rick's hand, "Let go of me. I want my knife."

Reluctantly, he lets go of you and looks down at you. 

His hair is falling in his face and as inappropriate as it may be at the moment, you have to remember that you really need to give him a haircut, Rick says harshly, "Stay near me. Please."

You quickly look around, but the walkers are still some distance away, so you stand on your tiptoes and kiss him briefly on the cheek, "I promise."

The moment you put distance between you again, there is a strange vibe between you. 

You get the feeling he's about to say something else, but anxiously you interrupt him on whatever else he was about to say, "Shit, where are Glenn and Michonne?"

Rick jerks his head around and shoots the nearest walker, "Keep going."

Over and over you call out for Glenn and Michonne, but you can't find them and with all the walkers around you and to top it off you run out of ammo and Rick fires the signal pistol he took from Aaron earlier as a last resort.

The forest around you glows a deep red as a result and if it wasn't such a horrible situation you would find the light really beautiful, but this last shot makes your situation that much more hopeless.

Panic rises in you as out of nowhere Aaron appears behind you, "Come with me."

Immediately Rick stands in front of you and tries to shield you from him, which he comments impatiently, "If you want, put my shackles back on, Rick. But then do it quickly."

Rudely, you shove Rick in Aaron's direction, "Just go, Rick. You know he doesn't need them."

Reluctantly, he lets you push him forward, and you fight your way through the woods with Aaron until you come to what used to be a residential area. 

Skeptically, you slow your pace until you can make out Daryl some distance away.

You can hardly believe that everyone is waiting for you inside safe and sound, and you don't hold back on the hugs either.

You fall around each one's neck and even with Aaron you don't hold back, murmuring softly in his arms, "Thank you."

Gently, he strokes your back and asks you softly, "You didn't tell Rick I had a boyfriend did you?"

Confused, you back away from him, "No? Why would I? There are plenty of people in relationships."

Laughing, he shakes his head, "Because he looks like he's about to rip my head off."

You let go of Aaron completely now and spin around to see what Aaron can see over your shoulder. 

Rick is standing with Daryl and Carol and they're both talking to him, but his blue eyes are on you. 

When you catch him doing it, though, he quickly turns away and Aaron calls out behind you, "Rick? I want you to meet my boyfriend."

Your eyes dart to Aaron and then you close your eyes with a sigh. 

The evening has clearly been too long and you don't have the strength left to even deal with another announcement, but you shuffle past Rick and mumble indistinctly, "I'm going to sleep."

Before you're out of his reach, he reaches for your hand, "Are you okay?"

At first glance, Rick always acts like he's bursting with strength and could do anything and everything in the blink of an eye, but now after the fiasco on the road and the long time without a real home, you can tell how exhausted he is. The wrinkles in his face are getting deeper and the fact that he looks like a man who has never heard of haircutting unfortunately only makes it more obvious how much it is tearing at him. 

Plus, you have to admit that he's no longer in his early 20s and certainly didn't envision his life with a group of humans and a horde of walkers breathing down his neck. But then, who has?

You look to Aaron and say, "Is it okay if we all meet in the morning? I want our fearless leader to get some sleep and unfortunately, I have a feeling he won't sleep at all unless I personally take over this task and force him to get some rest."

You know Rick is going to disagree with you, so you squeeze his hand as hard as you can: "Say anything other than 'yes' and I'll put you over my knee."

Aaron chokes on his own laughter and the glint in Rick's eyes, makes you sway slightly. 

You tell yourself you're tired and imagining it, but he looks at you like he's about to throw himself at you. 

Dangerously slow, he releases his hand from yours and clasps your wrist, "Yes ma'am, but are you sure I shouldn't put you over my knee?" His voice is rough and sleepy.

Normally he would hold back the words or regret them after the fact, but he can barely keep his eyes open and his mouth is faster than his head because of it. 

He's also aware that you absolutely didn't mean it sexually and were really just trying to help him, but it was an easy template for him and seeing your pupils get huge and your breasts press against the fabric of your shirt as you take a deep breath was clearly worth it.

He'd probably kick his ass for it tomorrow, but he leans over and murmurs softly in your ear, "Shall I?"

A jolt goes through your body and he resists the urge to pull you closer to him.

You can't believe what he's said. 

It's common for you to be close, but hearing something so overtly sexual from him is new. 

So unbelievably new that you can't bring anything past your lips. 

At this moment it wouldn't even have to be something clever and a simple sentence would suffice, but you just stare at him.

The room suddenly seems much too small and Rick much too big.

Rick's thoughts wander into areas that are completely inappropriate in the current situation and when he notices how his pants are getting tighter, he takes a step back and clears his throat: "We'll di everything out tomorrow. I really should go lie down."

Because you're still frozen, he puts his hands on your shoulders and pushes you into an adjacent room, "Daryl said there's a couch here. You can sleep there."

He takes it upon himself to pretend the conversation about your ass doing wonderfully under his palm never happened and pushes you further toward the couch, "Get some rest."

Your gaze slides around the sparsely furnished room and you quickly realize that there is only this one narrow couch, "Let me guess: I'm supposed to sleep on the couch and you're going to lie down on the floor next to me, right?"

The stiffness breaks away from you as you walk toward the couch and look back over your shoulder at him, "That was your plan, right?"

He stands in the doorway with his arms crossed and you can't help but stare at how well he fills the spot with his broad shoulders, "Right."

Blinking, you shake your head to get your thoughts in order: "No way. We always sleep next to each other anyway, so we might as well squeeze onto the couch."

You groan in satisfaction as you drop down onto the couch and see Rick wince. 

Things have been very intimate between you for months now, and he didn't think he'd hit the ceiling like that right away at your soft moans. 

His cock in his pants becomes wide awake and he just can't imagine sleeping on the couch pressed so close to you. 

Sleeping with you on the floor is fine, because he can avoid you well when you once again press your butt against his crotch in the middle of the night. But on this narrow thing you'd have to practically lie on top of him and it would be almost impossible not to get a boner.

So he shakes his head, "That's okay."

He watches you kick your shoes off your feet and kneel on the couch. 

As you do so, you bend over a bit and, without thinking, squeeze your breasts together with your arms, which Rick doesn't miss. Standing stiffly, he forces himself to look you in the face as you pout, "Oh come on. I'm certainly not going to let you sleep on the floor, and I won't leave you alone until you're lying with me."

Rick sends a shove prayer to the heavens, hoping you don't see how tight his pants have gotten.

He's been in the most hopeless situations, and yet he could swear that nothing has ever felt as dangerous as lying down next to you right now and not moaning as you lay your upper body on top of him, your soft breasts pressing against his chest.

He stares at the ceiling above you, yet a 'holy shit' slips from his lips as you slide one leg over his and get dangerously close to his balls.

You've always liked sleeping with Rick, and even now being close to him makes you happier than the soft couch you're lying on for once.

Your head rests on his shoulder and you murmur sleepily, "Good night."

The only thought Rick has, however, is 'I think my balls are falling off.'

It seems like a miracle that he was able to fall asleep next to you, even though you kept pushing on top of him in your sleep, and even the morning after was soaked in preparations and plans.

… 

The whole trip has ended up being so elaborate that you're jittery with excitement when you finally arrive at the gates of Alexandria.

As soon as the car comes to a stop, you get out and look up at the walls surrounding this community.

Aaron didn't promise too much when he said that nothing could enter without their consent.

It is tremendous and for a long time you have not had this level of hope in your heart.

Aaron leads you inside the community and you don't even have to turn around to know Rick is following you like a shadow.

Your gaze travels over the people gathered around you at a wide distance and your eyes linger on a handsome blond man who is looking at you with open interest. 

He looks so clean that you notice the blush rising in your cheeks from embarrassment at how run-down you must look.

With your group, you didn't care because you all look worse than the next, but his golden hair, which looks like liquid gold in the light, only makes you more aware of how your hair must look and yet you can't take your eyes off him.

It's unusual these days to see such pure beauty. 

Not that you don't think other men are beautiful, but it's usually a rugged beauty, like Daryl and Rick's, and not as dazzling.

You don't even realize how long you've been staring at the young man as he slides his gaze over you and wince when Rick grabs you unaccustomedly hard by the upper arm and turns you away from the man, "I want you to go first." His voice is rough and unusually low, causing your eyebrows to go up, "Why me?"

He hisses, "Because I'm telling you to." 

Normally Rick never talks to you like this and you notice yourself getting snappier at his tone as well, "And I'd like to know what I'm supposed to say at the big interview anyway, if you'd be so gracious as to tell me."

Rick turns you so that he's shielding you from the audience with his body and rules you again, "The woman in charge here just wants to know what we used to do and how we met. So tell her about your studies and that's it."

You can no longer hold back your laughter, "My studies? Are you kidding me. You know perfectly well that I was only in college for one semester before I ended up with you. I worked as a stripper for years to be able to afford my studies and because of that shit it wasn't even worth it. The only thing I can contribute to convince the woman is a lap dance and an offer to set up a stripper pole here so I can entertain the people here, Rick."

You don't even flinch as his eyes darken and he pulls you close to hiss in your ear, "Don't you dare give even one person in this goddamn world a lap dance."

You try to pull away from him, but he won't let go, so you grit your teeth, "Or what?"

His body shakes with tension and you don't understand why he's so upset about it, when you did it for years before and now you don't even really mean it. So you force yourself to stay calm and ask something you've been wondering for a long time, "How come you never asked me?"

The question catches him completely off guard, "What?"

You tilt your head slightly and don't take your eyes off him, "I told you right at the beginning what my job was and you never asked me for a lap dance. Not that I think you're that cock-addled, but I wouldn't have held it against you. So why didn't you ever do it?"

To be honest, not once has he had to think about what it would be like if you did that for him, but then once the thought has wandered on, to the other men you've danced for money, he'd love to chop his dick off. 

Silently, he looks down at you and you sigh softly, "If you're not going to answer me, at least let me go so I can talk to Deanna."

You don't have the strength or much desire to deal with Rick's moods any further and pull your arm out of his grip.

You only get two steps before he calls after you, "Do you want me to ask you?"

Sluggishly, you shake your head. The problem with Rick is that he knows exactly what he wants in every way, only when it has to do with you, it seems like he's always just vacillating back and forth without committing. 

Also, the fact that he asks you if he should have asked you just gives you an unnecessary headache, and you say quietly enough so that only he can hear, "Do it or don't. You can do whatever you want. You can do whatever you want, but please remember one thing: make up your mind, because someday it will be too late. I can promise you that."

Rick is incredibly important to you, but at some point, this insecurity with him just isn't enough for you. 

You never know what he's serious about and if some things just slip out because he doesn't think about it.

Slowly, you walk to the house you've all been pointed to, feeling Rick's gaze at your back with every step.

It's not until you enter the house that you can take a breath and are actually happy to be talking to a new person.

During the whole conversation you have the feeling that the people here seem to be okay and when you are allowed to leave the house, the blond man you were staring at so shamelessly before is waiting on the porch.

Jerking to a halt, you just stare at him as his full lips part, "Hey, I'm Ron. I was wondering if you wanted me to show you around? You're here with a larger group, but I was hoping you might still like to look around with a local" he winks at you.

You look over his shoulder where you can see Rick practically stabbing him with his eyes and then you look back into Ron's warm brown eyes, "Yeah, I'd love to."

You try not to think about how awful you must smell, and about how you look, it's best not to even get started.

But he doesn't complain and is so incredibly nice to you that you quickly warm up and you're not just talking about Alexandria. 

You learn that he studied law and was housed here in Alexandria from the beginning when all hell broke loose. 

You find it hard to believe that he's barely left the protected walls, and you're about to ask if he's even killed a walker before he points to a pretty house: "That's where Deanna put you and your friends up."

Incredulous, you look at him, "A whole house?"

Your face makes him chuckle softly, "You'll be assigned more, but for the first night you'll have to share it. The others are still being fixed up for you."

His gaze is on you as you look up at the house and he says softly, "You're beautiful."

Smiling, you lower your gaze and look down at your feet. 

Every once in a while Rick has told you that you're beautiful, but otherwise it's been forever and you don't quite know what to answer than you say simply, "Thank you."

Quietly, Ron clears his throat, "Is the big bearded guy who looks so gloomy your boyfriend?"

You can no longer contain yourself and have to hold your stomach in laughter, "Bearded? Gloomy? Oh my God...you mean Rick..."

Usually Rick doesn't wear his beard this long, but there wasn't much shaving going on in the woods, so that's what he looks like, and you can't stop laughing as you think about what Rick must look like to new eyes. 

Compared to that, you probably look like you just flew in from a modeling job.

Giggling, you grab his arm and squeeze lightly, "Rick? No, he's not my boyfriend." 

As you say this, you realize that this is the first time you've really said it clearly and not titled it with an 'it's complicated'.

As you stand laughing with Ron in front of the house, Rick stands in the shower with his head leaning against the cold tiles. 

He has no idea how, in the space of a few hours, he managed to get himself into such a mess that you took off with the blonde toddler.

He groans in frustration and can't help but think of how you lovingly pulled the leaf out of his beard in the barn and pressed up against him that night. 

He thinks of how you laugh softly when he stumbles and how your eyes light up whenever you look up at him.

He lets out a "fuck" and bangs the flat of his hand against the tiles.

Your face pops up in his mind the whole time and he can't get rid of it. 

His breathing becomes erratic and he releases his hand from the tiles to reach for his cock. In gentle movements he runs over its length, thinking of how your small hand would feel on his body. 

How you would look at him full of innocence and stand on your tiptoes to breathe into his ear how much you love him.

A jolt goes through his body and he moans your name softly.

His whole body is tense and in steady movements he brings himself moaning to climax and still it's not enough for him.

In the meantime you have arranged to meet Ron tomorrow and go into the house where the others have already gathered.

Most of them are freshly showered and you go in search of the bathroom. 

You're about to turn the corner when you collide with a half-naked Rick. 

Before you can land on your butt though, because the guy is like a wall, he holds you by the shoulders and saves you from kissing the floor.

He looks at you like you're an apparition and you don't know that just a few minutes ago he was moaning your name as he came twitching in his own hand.

Silently you want to push past him, but he grabs your hand, "You were out with the toddler."

You want to pull away from him, but his grip is too strong, "None of your business."

There's a brief silence in which you just stare at each other before Rick whispers hoarsely, "Deanna told me that some have never really been behind that wall, and I bet you your lover never has either."

Quietly, you hiss, "Even if he wasn’t. What difference does it make?"

He straightens up to his full height and slides his hand from your arm to your hand, "Do you really want to start something with such a guy?"

You allow him to slide his fingers between yours, "Jesus Rick. I've known him for 3 hours and even if I did, you couldn't care less. What the hell is wrong with you?"

With a flourish, you pull your hand away from him and he grits his teeth, "I just don't like it."

Desperately, you throw your arms in the air, "So what?! Why do you care so much?"

Again, silence falls between you. Exasperated, you dig your finger into his chest, "Get your shit together, Rick."

With those words, you storm off, slamming the door behind you. 

Breathing heavily, you lean your back against the wooden door and take a shaky breath. 

The fact that he's acting out like this causes a strange mixture of excitement and anger to flare up, and you let yourself slide to the floor by the door.

Angry at you and himself, Rick stomps to the door and growls, "You better not lay anywhere near me tonight. You might as well run off to your lover."

It's completely irrational of him, but his jealousy boils over and he hears you yell from the other side of the door, "Like I'd even think about laying down next to an asshole and I'm telling you, don't you touch me one more time."

The whole house must hear it as Rick stomps to the stairs and hisses loud enough for everyone to hear, "Before I'd chop off my hands."

You're both lying and you know it, but neither of you would give in, which is why you spend the night at the other end of the room and disappear from the house early in the morning before everyone else to meet up with Ron.

…

Ron is passionate about botany and has led you to a flower bed to show you the plants and explain their properties, that's when you hear Rick's deep voice coming closer and closer some distance away.

You try to focus on Ron, but you just can't ignore Rick's broad southern accent, and when he suddenly stops, you know he's spotted you. 

You don't dare turn around as you hear him approach again and his deep voice thunders over your head, "Flowers?"

Immediately Ron straightens up and smiles openly at Rick, "Yes, aren't they beautiful?"

You close your eyes, knowing full well that Rick will ridicule it and Ron is such a pure soul that he won't even notice what Rick is doing, so you interject as a precaution, "Yes, they're beautiful."

Ron smiles even wider at you, "So are you."

When Rick saw you with the idiot, he already thought he was going to puke, but after those words, he just sees red, "Keep your hands off her."

Surprised, Ron looks at him, "Please what?"

Quicker than expected, you turn to him and hiss, seething with anger, "You shut your mouth."

He just can't stand to see you with the toddler and points his head toward the house, "Can we talk?"

Immediately you shake your head, "What for?"

Rick looks you firmly in the eye, "Please?"

In that moment, it's like it always used to be and you nod slowly, "You have 10 minutes."

Rick walks back to your house and you turn to Ron and say, "Sorry. I have to go sort something out with him for a minute."

Rather reluctantly, you follow Rick inside and stop in the middle of the empty kitchen, "What do you want to tell me?"

Only now do you see that Rick has cut his beard shorter and he looks as hot as ever again. He seems to be thinking about what he wants to say to you and you start to get impatient, "Either there's something coming now or I'm leaving because you can't stand me near you."

Quickly he reaches for your hand and you hiss, "Don't touch me."

Instead of letting go of you, he pulls you to him with all his might and says softly, "I don't like it when you talk to the flower guy."

Oh my god. 

He's going to freak you out. 

In disbelief, you snort, "Holy shit, Rick. Why don't you just let me do what I want? You can't tell me who to like and who not to like. This has nothing to do with you."

He takes a deep breath, "I just don't want it. Can't you just do what I ask you to do?"

You can't believe what he's saying and slap his chest hard with your free hand, "Are you out of your mind?! I couldn't care less whether you like it or not. Especially not with this more than shitty reasoning. You have absolutely no idea what you want in life, Rick. One second you're telling me you don't want me around, and the next you're trying to - what, actually? Protect me? From a young man who loves spending time with me and appreciates it? From a man who is so sweet that you seem like a prehistoric man marking his territory? And for what? If you should not know it: I am NOT your property! You can't push me back and forth as it suits you and you have no right to me at all. Especially not if you don't know how..." and then his fingers are in your mouth.

Surprised, you fall silent and stare at him with huge eyes.

He doesn't know, himself, exactly why he did it, but you wouldn't stop talking and your full lips were so inviting that he just did it.

Actually, the second you stared at him with your eyes wide open, he was expecting you to just bite his fingers, but when you let your tongue slide over his fingers, he gasps in surprise.

Your body shakes with adrenaline and it's like a knee-jerk reaction as you take his fingers deeper into your mouth and moan softly muffled by his fingers.

The situation between you is completely absurd, especially after you actually want to slap him, but you allow Rick to press you against him at the waist and walk you backwards until he can lean against the kitchen counter and you close your eyes, fluttering, as you feel his hardening cock against your belly.

You don't look at him again until he slowly pulls his fingers out of your mouth and you let him have it with a soft 'plop'.

The tension between you is palpable and Rick knows exactly what he wants at this moment. What he's always wanted.

So he leans down to you and presses his lips greedily to yours. 

He's had enough of deliberately choosing not to make the next move with you over and over again, and he'd rather risk you hitting him than lose you without a fight to the idiot with the flowers.

The fact that you don't pull away from him, but pull him even deeper to you at the back of his head, makes his heart beat that much faster and he buries his fingers in the soft skin of your hips.

He's felt your body against his before, but never have you clung to him like you do now, and he already knows he'd never forget it. 

Never could he forget the way your moans sound in his ears and the way your body rubs against his.

You don't care how needy you act as you release your hands from his hair and reach for the buttons of his shirt. 

Gasping for air, you pull away from him and whimper, "I want you."

Rick beautiful blue eyes are dark with desire, "Fuck, yeah."

In one fluid motion, he turns you around and lifts you onto the counter he was leaning against earlier.

Now that he has you pressed against him by your thighs so that your middle is pressed down on his cock, you tremble in his arms and whisper, "That took a long time."

Breathing heavily, Rick takes your chin in his calloused fingers and pulls you close to his lips again, "I'll make it worth your time, baby."

You put your hands back on the buttons of his shirt and undo one button at a time, "You called me that before."

His voice is rough with arousal, "Oh really?"

You press closer to him so your lips graze his, "Yes. In the barn you called me baby too. I thought it was a joke."

His hands slide down your thighs and his thumbs brush over your insides in such a way that you have to force yourself to focus on his words, "I didn't even realize it."

Smiling, you press your lips to his already swollen lips again and tug at the last buttons. 

The bottom two give way and fly across the kitchen, and you pull his shirt over his shoulders so you can finally feel his bare skin under your fingers.

His muscles tense the closer you get to his waistband, and before you can reach for his belt, he breaks away from your lips and takes the hem of your top in his hands.

Unresisting, you raise your arms and because you hate wearing bras, Rick's gaze immediately settles on what you yourself think are your beautiful breasts, "You're going to kill me."

He immediately lowers his head to cup your nipple with his lips and you have to hold onto his shoulder to keep from toppling backwards. You can't tell he has no idea what he's doing as he takes your other breast in his hand and keeps pinching the tip as he gently bites down on the other side.

Gasping, you take a breath as Rick murmurs against your skin, "You probably don't even know how many times I've had to think about what it would be like to fuck you."

Heat moves between your legs and you try to rub against him, which isn't so easy as he plays with his breasts, driving you crazy.

He loves to feel your body react to him and he eases off your breasts to kiss your belly, letting his tongue dance across your belly button.

Gently, he places his flat hand on your chest and pushes you down until you're lying flat on the kitchen counter and he can take off your pants, including your panties.

It's not the first time a man has knelt between your legs, but with Rick it's something completely different. 

Never before have you been so physically and emotionally attracted to someone as you are to him.

Sure, Ron is a nice man, but he doesn't even come close to Rick's engaging power and his attraction to you.

Your breathing is erratic and you notice your pussy tighten as his breath meets your wet center, "It's kind of pathetic that you're already this wet for me and I barely had to do anything."

He breathes a kiss on your pussy and you cry out softly, making him chuckle, "But I'm not complaining."

Rick lets his gaze slide over your body, which is sprawled out in front of him, and he knows he's the luckiest man in the world right now. 

His dream girl is letting him take her on a kitchen counter and your twitching pussy is begging for him to finally bury his face between your legs. 

So he slides your legs over his shoulders and follows your silent request by licking once over your wetness from bottom to top. 

As he expected, your whole body rears up and he has to squeeze harder with his free hand to keep you on your back as he presses his nose to your clit and licks you the way he's wanted to do for months.

Moaning, you squirm on the table and gasp, "Rick...oh my God..." 

Blindly you grab his hair and pull on it, making him moan against your pussy and as he shoves his tongue inside you, you think you're going to die of a heart attack.

His beard scratches your thighs and again you try to sit up as he hisses from his kneeling position, "If you move again, I'll stop."

When he talked to you like that when you were arguing, you hated how cocky he sounded, but in this situation it only turns you on more and you gasp, "Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah."

There he is sucking on your clit and you tighten your thighs around your head as you come trembling and moaning on his tongue.

How violently you respond to him is reward enough for him, and he reaches to unzip his pants because it's so tight he can't take it anymore.

He waits until you're lying weak as a doll on the counter only then straightens up, holding your legs on his shoulder, "Didn't you want to go back to Ron?"

He knows full well you wouldn't go in your condition, but the venomous look you give him is worth it, "You're so jealous of him."

Caught, he winces, but tries to cover it up, "Why should I? Whose cock is about to be in your pussy? His or mine?"

To emphasize his question, he tilts his head and presses his cock against your wet entrance, which makes you gasp, but still you bring out, "Because I like him."

Warningly, he pushes forward a bit and with your legs still on his shoulders, you're even tighter than you already are and he growls, "He can be your friend, but you're mine. Your pussy is mine and I swear to you he will never have you."

You try to be angry at his possessiveness, but all you can think about is the tip of his cock pressing against your pussy and you pant softly, "I don't belong to anyone. I told you that before."

Firmly he grips your throat and you tear up as he squeezes. 

Not so tight that he'll cut off your air, but tight enough that you're embarrassed to admit that your pussy is twitching again and he notices, "So? How bad do you want my cock inside you?"

He doesn't want to admit that he probably wants to fuck even more badly than you do, but as he sees you squirm, he's sure he's going to get what he wants.

You try to press your butt against him so that his cock finally slides inside you, but his grip is tight and you close your eyes in defeat, "I'm yours."

Rick exhales deeply, "You always have been."

Slowly he stretches your pussy with his cock and you reach for his hand, gasping for air. 

He intertwines his fingers with yours and feels like drowning as he is completely inside you.

Your grip on his fingers is surprisingly strong and he lets go of your throat to brace himself against the counter

He pulls back a little only to thrust into you again and your body rears back, "Rick...please...harder."

Rick pushes further between your legs and kisses you messily on the lips before fucking you the way he's always wanted to.

Forced to let go of your hand to hold your hips so you don't get pushed higher with each thrust, you place his hands on his cheeks instead to keep him with you and gasp hoarsely, "All I ever wanted was you, Rick. Only you."

You don't care how pathetic you sound at those words or if he's going to rip your heart out, and that's when he says something even more surprising, "I love you."

You press your breasts against his torso and allow him to kiss your neck as he is gasping over and over, "I love you. I love you so much."

You close your eyes and realize how he starts sucking on your neck, hitting the deepest point in your pussy over and over again. 

Unable to do anything but moan his name, you stroke his sweaty back. 

Still preoccupied with your neck he reaches for your hand and runs it over your torso, pressing it to your lower belly with his hand. 

He licks over your pulse to your ear and purrs, "Can you feel how deep I am inside you? How I can ruin you?"

His cock feels so good that you keep tightening around him, whimpering softly, "I'm about to cum...Rick...I can't hold it back...please..."

With a kiss, he muffles your pitiful sounds and breathes, "It's okay, baby."

That's all you need to melt trembling beneath him, clinging to him like he's all you need.

Your pussy clamps down so hard, around his cock, that he growls, "Fuck, I need to pull out."

Panicked, you cling to his face, "No. Please don't."

A wave of arousal slips into his cock at the thought of coming inside you, but he gasps again, "You sure?"

Hectically, you nod, "Yes. Cum inside me."

Groaning, he pushes himself deeper inside you again and you feel his whole body start to shake and his cock twitch inside you.

The primitive thought of marking you like this drives him further and further, and he fucks his way through his climax before collapsing on top of you, gasping for air, and burying you underneath him.

Your sweaty bodies cling to each other and Rick struggles to push himself up so he doesn't crush you, reaching out his hand to help you up.

You watch him pull his pants over his narrow hips, but leaves them open and bends over for your clothes. 

The muscles under his shiny skin move in a mesmerizing way, and as he straightens back up, you say softly, "I love you, too."

Surprised, he raises his eyebrows and you chuckle softly, "Don't act so surprised. Of course I love you. I've loved you for as long as I can remember."

The surprise drains from his face and is replaced by a grin, "Then we're not fighting anymore?"

I roll my eyes playfully, "Just because I love you doesn't mean I can't be mad at you. But right now, it's all good."

Rick bites his lower lip, "I hope you don't hit me for this, but you forgot something."

Skeptically I look at him, "And what would that be?"

Gently, he kisses you on the lips and then says softly, "I must have been fucking you for longer than 10 minutes."

Irritated, I ask, "Could be. Do you want me to praise you for that now? Please don't tell me you're one of those guys who expects a reward for lasting longer than thirty seconds."

Laughing, he shakes his head, "No, baby. Your flower boy is just outside safely waiting for you."

And that's when you think of it again. 

You just left him outside and then just forgot about him. 

Quickly you jump off the counter and snatch your clothes from Rick's hand, "Oh fuck."

As you get dressed, Rick leans against the kitchen counter with his shirt off and his pants still open and crosses his arms in front of his chest, "And I'm supposed to be jealous of that guy? All I had to do was stick my fingers in your mouth and you forgot he existed."

You raise a finger and wave it left and right, "It was totally inappropriate to do that."

He watches you pull your top over your head, "And you thought it was hot."

"Oh gosh," you moan, pressing a quick kiss to his lips, "I'll see you later."

Smiling, you walk to the door and he calls out, "I love you."

Quickly you turn to him again and throw him a kissing hand before disappearing to the door, "I love you too Rick."

@hail-yourselves @bean-is-reading @chanlvr2 @criminalwalkingsupernatural @sunshinevirus @toxic-ink @kingtwhiddleston @bloodycherry22 @vane28282 @bamslover @acciocarlgrimes

(If anyone else would like to be tagged, just let me know 🤭)

#rick grimes #rick grimes imagine #rick grimes smut #rick grimes x reader #twd x reader #twd #the walking dead #request

[shuttershocky]

war thunder forums truly is the gift that keeps on giving mf

The best part is it truly doesn't get old

After the first 15 leaks you would think that surely the news of classified or at least highly sensitive military documents from all around the world getting leaked on War Thunder forums would get old, but it doesn't. It fucking doesn't.

Every military in the world has to contend with the knowledge that at any given point in time, one of their own officers with a high enough access to classified intel is hopelessly addicted to winning internet arguments about a video game and WILL commit treason for it. The War Thunder devs WILL learn how their balancing is inaccurate to real life specs and they won't have a choice about it and this WILL keep up forever unless they rebrand War Thunder into a sci-fi with all made-up laser weapons

[ddejavvu]

Hiii 💜 could I request nsfw alphabet D and E for Anakin please (if you’ve not done them already!)

request a letter of the alphabet for your favorite character!

this post is 18+, minors dni.

cw for somnophilia, don't like don't read.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

anakin uses your hand/mouth to jack himself off at night when you're sleeping. he's 99.999999% sure you'd let him if he asked, you've given him one-off permission to use you in your sleep before. he just doesn't mention that it's happening more than that. if you're not a deep sleeper he'll keep you soothed and drowsy with the Force, and he'll take your hand and wrap it around his hard cock. he holds it in place and fucks into it, he doesn't move your hand around his dick. and your mouth, god, your mouth, he stands at your head and strokes himself off, letting the tip just barely brush against your lips and get them sticky with the precum he's leaking steadily. but the thing is he can't really cum in your mouth while you're sleeping, or you'd wake up. so he has to figure out something else. either your back or your stomach will do. and if you happen to rouse while he's cleaning you off with a warm washcloth afterwards, he'll put you right back to sleep.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

not much physical experience, but a lot of 'experience' from watching porn. he doesn't sleep around, he's more the type of guy to, oh, say, devote ten years of his life to thinking about this one girl he met once when he was nine, than to pay for a quick fuck or take it like something not so serious. to him it's incredibly serious and personal and intimate and he treats it with respect. but he does jack off a lot. like. like a lot. like he's addicted to it and it's a problem. same with porn, he watches porn every time and it could be classified as an addiction at this point. so he knows what he should be doing, he's just never done it before. that's okay though, because anakin skywalker is determined and it does not take him long to fine-tune his craft. he'll have you screaming (and creaming) in no time.

#anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker scenario #anakin skywalker oneshot #anakin skywalker one-shot #anakin skywalker one shot #anakin skywalker headcanon #anakin skywalker headcanons #anakin skywalker hcs #anakin skywalker hc #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin skywalker fanfic #anakin skywalker fic #anakin skywalker blurb #anakin skywalker drabble #anakin skywalker dialogue #anakin skywalker fluff #anakin skywalker smut

[alfredsolos]

I don't like how some writers bash or exaggerate the other batkids' behaviour and personalities in order to whumpify their favorite batfam member.

If Dick Grayson is the main character in the fic, then every other batfam member are suddenly incapable of doing the most simplest tasks and ask Dick to help them. He solves every single problem of his family because he is the 'eldest'. And he always puts a smile on his face and let's them treat him like shit.

Yes, it is true that Dick has more responsibility compared to his siblings. Not because he is the eldest; but because he has to keep an entire city safe all by himself, mentor teen sidekicks, lead the Titans, go on missions with the JL and so on. And he does this not because he has to, but because he wants to.

Also he may be more emotionally open than rest of his siblings, but thats just it. Compared to his siblings. Nightwing says puns and jokes yeah, but he is not at all can be classified as emotionally vulnurable. Dick led and mentored so many teams, and you can't do that while being light hearted and smiley all the time.

Dick is serious and firm when needed to. He doesn't baby any of his siblings (especially Damian), or act like an angel all the time. He has anger management issues and does not take bullshit from anyone. Not even his family.

He lives in Bludhaven to get away from the craziness that is Gotham. He loves his family, but he simply does not have the patience to deal with them all the time.

When the fic is about Jason, most of the plot is about him being dead and how Bruce betrayed him by replacing him. That Dick threw him in Arkham and everyone treats him like a monster.

Well firstly, Jason is not all about his death. He doesn't really bring it up unless he wants to make a point to Bruce.

Jason doesn't hate Tim because he replaced him. Jason hates Bruce, for taking in another Robin when the first one actively get murdered because of it. He beat Tim up to prove to him and Bruce that taking in a child, and making him his partner is seriously wrong. Jason hates the idea of kids becoming soldiers for a war they didn't start.

Another point is that after Jason came back from the dead, he wasn't an anti-hero. He was a full on villain that tried to kill most of the Batfamily. And no I'm not talking about him beating Tim up in the Titans tower (It was to send a message to Bruce) or cutting his throat (which he didn't. It was a small scratch):

I'm talking about Battle for the Cowl, when he beat Tim up badly because he refused to be his Robin. Jason thought Tim was dead at the end of their fight (Tim slowed down his heartbeat). And this is his reaction:

And yet again in Battle for the Cowl, he shot Damian. Which resulted him getting more than 70 stitches:

Also this was his reaction when a nuclear powered supervillain blew up Bludhaven:

He poisoned 82 inmates while 'Dick sent poor Jason into prison :('

Now does this mean Jason is a bad character? Fuck no! Infact he is one of my favorite characters. Jason is such an interesting character and sometimes you can't help but condone his mistakes no matter how bad they are. Even I do this.

So what I mean is that, we should stop babying him and see him as the flawed character he is. Every single character has their own flaws and that's what makes them special.

Jason was a hero, then a villain, then an anti-hero, then again a hero.

Also he doesn't get pit episodes. The only time he got one was right after getting out of the pit. Lazarus pit did not made him violent and it's not the blame for Jason's past actions. Jason was awake and aware of the things he did. And he feels guilty. But he learned to forgive. Both himself and Bruce.

Our next member is Tim Drake. Fanon Tim Drake is a coffee addict, he is thin and small, is quiet and doesn't believe he is apart of the family. Dick stole Robin from him and gave it to 'evil and cruel' Damian who bullies him every time they interact. Jason always calls him replacement and threatens to kill him most of the time. Dick is a monster that tried to lock him up in Arkham.

God I cringed writing this. Anyways firstly Tim is, in fact, not a coffee addict. I'd say he is more of a tea person and only drinks coffee to stay awake.

Tim is not short and all skin and bones. He eats properly and is very muscled. Especially around his back and biceps. He is also not short either.

Tim is quiet, yes. But not in a shy way. He is cold and calculative and sometimes a little apathatic. He isn't scared to do what's necessary and is always ready to sacrifice himself for the sake of the mission. He also definitely sees himself apart of the family.

Another really misunderstood point is that Dick took Robin from him, when it was actually Alfred who gave Damian the Robin suit.

Yes, Damian tried to kill him multiple times and it was very traumatising for Tim. But they do get along most of the time. In fact Tim may be the second closest to Damian among the family. Because no matter what happens he loves his little brother. As it was shown when he hallucinated and hugged Damian after he died.

Jason and him may be at odds from time to time, but Jason gets along with him more than most of his siblings.

And Dick most certainly did not try to put him in Arkham. Bruce was dead and Dick saw Tim. How devastated he was, so he offered him to get therapy. Like a good brother would do.

Last but not least is Damian. I think most of the time Damian centric fics manage to represent him properly. But let's start with the ones that are the most cliche-d and wrongly written.

Damian talks the Queen's British and is spoiled. Dick Grayson is his actual father and Bruce always insults him. He trains all day and goes to patrol at night. He hates his mother, always gets his ass handed to him in a fight. Tim Drake treats him horribly and everyone calls him Demon or Demon Brat. Jason is the best brother in the world and him and Dick always protect him from Bruce's wrath. Alfred annoyes him and Damian doesn't really care about him. All of his personality is summed up with: "Yes, Father."

In actuality, Damian is most of the time sassy or straight up mocking. He uses slangs and isn't scared of disrespecting Ra's or Talia and Bruce (in fact he may be enjoying it a little).

Dick Grayson is in fact not his father figure. That title belongs to Alfred, who was always there whenever he needed him.

Damian plays video games and his favorite one is cheese vikings.

He also loves his mother and forgives her even through all does horrible things she does to him. He is most likely conditioned to feel that way. Because it's not normal to treat someone normally after they murder you. He is also an exceptionally good fighter.

Tim Drake is possibly his second closest sibling. They banter and fight sometimes, yes. But they still very much care for each other. When Tim was thought to be dead, Damian was shown to be holding his bo staff and mourning.

Him and Jason were never close. Jason tried to kill him and so did Damian. They don't know each other well and Damian does not want to; since at the time he was Robin, Jason was a villain that actively tried to hurt him and Dick.

I don't think anyone ever called him a Demon Brat. Or if they did it was probably like one time, since I couldn't find any panels that refer to him that way.

Damian is the most rebellious and hot headed Robin. He doesn't shy from saying what wants or stepping up to Bruce. In fact those two are the ones who fight the most in the family. Even more than Tim and Damian.

And Bruce doesn't always insult or bench him. He just straight up ignores him or his needs and always puts him in second.

There are obviously way more than these, but I'll stop for today. No hate to the creators, this is just my own opinion.

#damian wayne #dc comics #batfamily #batfam #tim drake #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #fanon batfam #canon batfam

[hersterical]

soul lore in Buffy is finally beginning to make sense in my head (give me a break, I didn’t watch the show until COVID and didn’t start taking part in the fandom until at least a year after that). A lot of this is basic stuff the fandom’s been saying for years, this is just to help get my thoughts in order before I fall asleep and lose the train of thought.

There are a few important elements but I think the two biggest ways the lack of a soul influences a vampire is 1. No moral compass and 2. No empathy (as we see mostly with Spike but a few others as well, they can have sympathy but no empathy). I also don’t get the impression that soulless vampires are capable of true, selfless love. Again looking at Spike, whenever he loves someone pre-soul it always felt possessive or like he wanted to be possessed by someone. Sure, he sincerely wanted certain people he cared about to be happy, but he didn’t want them to be happy just for the simple sake of them being happy. At best he wanted them to be happy because being around them makes him happy and it’s his happiness that truly mattered to him. So if there ever came a time where the happiness of the person he cared about didn’t make him happy anymore, then he wouldn’t care about their happiness. This is mostly based on Spike because he’s the vampire we have the most opportunity to understand while he doesn’t have a soul. To me it seems that all soulless vampires could be placed on a scale from Spike, who possesses the most amount of sympathy and derives the greatest amount of happiness from the happiness of others, to Angellus who doesn’t have a single ounce of sympathy and actively takes joy out of the misery of others. Most seem to tend closer towards Angellus’ end of the scale and I wanted to explore that a bit.

Before I do that though there are some important things of a more physiological nature that would influence vampires both with and without a soul. The first is that I’ve always gotten the impression that a vampire’s primal, predator instincts are more heightened and animalistic than humans. The way I see it there are two main explanations for this: 1. Those instincts come from the demon that possesses the body or 2. Something about becoming a vampire allows them to access the human’s dormant predatory instincts. I’m no evolutionary scientist so I can’t say how likely that second one is, but no matter what it’d be far from the hardest thing this show asks the viewers to suspend their disbelief for. The other thing about vampire physiology has just little enough evidence to support it that I would probably have to classify it as a headcanon. I am convinced that human blood is an addictive substance to vampires based on how secretly being fed Connor’s blood influenced Angel.

With all that said, I’d like to take this opportunity to explore the after-life span of an average Joe vampire.

Imagine you wake up and it is dark, cold and suffocating. But none of that bothers you because more than anything you are hungry. No living being has her possessed this great hunger that you are experiencing right now. Not even being capable of conscious thought at this point, you start clawing. Eventually you dig your way up to the surface where you either have your sire waiting for you, holding in their arms the greatest smelling meal you’ve ever smelt in your whole life, a human, or no one and you need to find something to eat yourself. Even if you find a small animal to eat that’s not enough to satiate your all consuming hunger. No matter what you’re going to get your first taste of human blood as a vampire that night. And it is the greatest thing you have ever tasted. Sure, you had to kill someone to get it, but you don’t care. As you finished eating and stared at the corpse of a human being whose heart is no longer beating because of you, the closest you get to regret, shame, or guilt is the surprise that you don’t feel any of those things.

That was the best thing you’ve ever experienced but you still don’t have a particular desire to kill people. You might even avoid it for a bit in order to avoid attention or out of habit. But even if you actively don’t want to kill another human for whatever reason, you can’t get the taste of their blood off your tongue. The thought of human blood consumes you every waking moment of your life, which is quite a bit considering you don’t need to sleep anymore. But whether it be in a day or a week or a year, you will kill another human. This time you do care. Not that they’re dead, no. But in that moment as you took their life force and made it your own, you have never felt more powerful or in control (ironic considering vampires actually tend to lose control while drinking human blood). Even with all of this great supernatural power you’ve been gifted with, nothing is as powerful as taking a human life. And the blood itself. It feels almost like your rapidly fading memories of warm sunlight on your skin, gentle instead of burning. You’ve never been particularly power hungry before so even though that part might be cool, it doesn’t hold a candle to the sensation of drinking blood. Whatever hesitation you might have had towards killing humans is now gone. But that still doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to though.

You go and visit your loved ones from when you were alive, but when you get there all you can think is how weak you were. How dull the life of a mortal is. How nice the warmth of the sun was on your skin. How it felt to be loved. How it felt to be willing to give your own life and happiness for the sake of someone else’s. It fills you with rage, disgust, and even jealousy for your old self. You take your power back and get rid of any reminders of who you used to be.

Time goes on. Decades pass. You feed, you travel, and you learn. And you grow bored. What was once an exciting after life is nothing but pure drudgery. Even the taste of human blood is becoming common after so long of living off nothing but that. What hasn’t gotten old is the chase. The hunt. That power you once got a taste of but didn’t particularly care for at the time is the only thing that can make you feel anything. Humans are no longer tasty little juice boxes, they’re your play things. The adrenaline from the hunt turns your hunger for blood, into a hunger for power over people.

Eventually the chase grows stale. It’s just too easy. You try to spice it up by toying with humans. Making them scream or beg. But it’s still not enough. That’s when you hear about it. A hellmouth. A slayer. Both together in the same place. One of the greatest sources of power for a demon alongside with the greatest challenge any vampire could hope to face. It’s more powerful than any siren call, how could you possibly resist. Sunnydale is waiting for you.

You get there and between the influence of the hellmouth and the group think of a ridiculous amount of vampires and other demons, it feels as exhilarating as the dance floor of a crowded nightclub. Which is funny because the local nightclub is where you do most of your feeding.

You lead your latest victim out into the back alley, and start feeding. You are once again growing bored even on a hellmouth with the prospect of facing a slayer. It’s just too easy. These are your thoughts when you hear someone clear their throat. This surprises you enough to pull you away from your meal to see a small, blonde girl who’s dressed for a night of dancing. Dessert. Except something’s off. She tilts her head and outs on a mock pout as she asks if she could just get one night off. You don’t like her attitude, her face looking far too smug for your taste, and her blood is singing out to you like no blood has ever done before. You feel almost as hungry as the night you crawled out of your grave. Tossing aside the barely alive human you were just feeding on, you eagerly lunge at the small woman.

She punches you in the face. Hard. You fall to the ground and scramble back up as quickly as possible as you’re filled with a sudden certainty. “Slayer!” You snarl with equal parts shock, anticipation, and fear.

“Is that part of the vampire handbook or something? You guys really gotta get some new material.” She says in response.

How dare she? The insolence! You’ve drained the life out of hundreds of humans before her. You are immortal. Invincible. And she just dismisses you like you’re nothing? She will learn. You are the night, you are fueled by the life-force you’ve been draining out of humans for decades. You’ve seen things this little girl couldn’t think up in her worst nightmares. You have purged yourself of all weaknesses and now you will obtain the greatest power any vampire could ever hope to possess, the blood of a slayer.

You run for her, your claws reaching for her.

You are immediately impaled. As you crumble to dust you hear the last words you’ll ever hear: a half-hearted quip about you not being the dance partner she was hoping for tonight.

#long post #it went from being meta to being a fanfic partway through #btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #Soul lore #angel btvs #spike btvs #angel the series #ats

[coochiequeens]

When you have a country and a culture that is normalizing hate and discrimination, you will see [people] move from an allied position to become detached supporters,” Sarah Kate Ellis, President and CEO of GLAAD, tells TIME."

No Sarah Kate, when you allow perverts to harass groups that still have to fight for their rights and spaces (women and the LGB) you will see people who realize that a group of porn addicted narcissists who move the goals posts then cry victim when former allies has enough make others uncomfortable.

GLAAD, the organization dedicated to LGBTQ advocacy in media and culture, released its fifth annual Accelerating Acceptance Index on Monday. The index is a national survey of nearly 1,800 American adults who were asked to rate their position, on a scale of very uncomfortable to comfortable, to prompted situations like “having LGBT members at my place of worship,” “learning a family member is LGBT,” and “learning my child has a lesson on LGBT history in school.” In doing so, the goal of the survey is to track Americans’ attitudes toward LGBTQ people in everyday scenarios (and then advocate to further acceptance).

Just over 80 percent of Americans surveyed said they knew someone who identifies as LGBTQ, and the survey found that an equal amount of non-LGBTQ Americans surveyed support equal rights for the LGBTQ community. “The idea of ‘equal rights’ is largely supported by Americans, but legal equality is not the same as acceptance,” Rich Ferraro, GLAAD’s chief communications officer, tells TIME. “Acceptance cannot be legislated.”

In its first three years of results, the index showed a steady increase in Americans who felt comfortable with LGBTQ issues and people. Last year, however, results saw a sharp drop in “acceptance” across all scenarios surveyed. “Headlines that stated ‘LGBTQ acceptance is eroding’ were a call to arms for GLAAD and so many around the country,” a press release accompanying the new index explained. “GLAAD doubled down on our formula for making culture change.”

And with some success: “The percentage of non-LGBTQ adults reporting being ‘very’ or ‘somewhat’ comfortable with LGBTQ people across seven scenarios remained stable,” the new results show. (That’s a group just shy of half those surveyed.) However, this year’s survey found that millennials and Gen-Z (adults in the 18-34 age bracket) are becoming increasingly “uncomfortable” with at least some of the hypotheticals — the percentage of those surveyed who were “very or somewhat comfortable” in all the scenario prompts dropped by eight points on average, from 53 to 45 percent. Of the groups surveyed, young people were the only demographic to see such a sharp decline in acceptance. And while allyship was more common for responders identifying themselves as millennial females than millennial males, the percentage of female allies dropped more sharply.

In four of the seven given scenarios, 18 to 34 year-olds reported feeling substantially more uncomfortable around LGBTQ people. These were: learning my child had a lesson on LGBT history in their school (a 9 percent rise in survey responders reporting they’d be “uncomfortable”), learning a family member is LGBT and learning a doctor is LGBT (both seeing a 7 percent rise in “uncomfortable” responses), and having a child placed in a class with an LGBT teacher (a 4 percent rise). Significantly, GLAAD notes that these scenarios are more immediately “personal” than the others surveyed, like “seeing an LGBT co-worker’s wedding photo” or “having LGBT members at my place of worship.”

These changes underscore shifts in whom GLAAD considers “allies” versus those considered “detached supporters.” The index classifies respondents who were comfortable in all of the situations as allies, and those whose comfort levels shifted depending on the situation as detached supporters. (The group GLAAD terms “resisters,” meanwhile — people who report being consistently uncomfortable with LGBTQ people — has remained consistent at between 13-14 percent across all five years in which the index has been produced.)

“The younger generation has traditionally been thought of as a beacon of progressive values,” a press release accompanying the index noted. “We have taken that idea for granted.”

“When you have a country and a culture that is normalizing hate and discrimination, you will see [people] move from an allied position to become detached supporters,” Sarah Kate Ellis, President and CEO of GLAAD, tells TIME.

The shift in attitudes toward LGBTQ people also aligns with the study’s report of a “significant increase” of discrimination toward the LGBTQ community. In the fight for acceptance, there is still more work to be done, Ellis says. “You know, it’s not a job we would want necessarily. It’s a job that we have … When you look at what’s going on to our community these days, we do not have full equality. We still can be fired in over half the states in this country. We can still be denied housing. The Supreme Court a year ago this June was debating whether or not we could be served a cake.”

The rise in young people identifying as LGBTQ doesn’t negate the rise of intolerance. In fact, Ellis says a lack of education on (or understanding of) the LGBTQ spectrum has also contributed to young people becoming increasingly uncomfortable. “Kids [today] are dealing directly with this generation of people that define sexual orientation and gender identity so broadly,” Ellis says. “They’re finding this newness a little bit confusing.” (GLAAD, she adds, “can solve for them — and we have been [with] our youth ambassador program.”)

“We are absolutely at an inflection point where culture and policy policy is stalled right now,” Ellis concludes. “Closing the gap to full acceptance of LGBTQ people will not come from legislation on judicial decisions alone, but from creating a culture where LGBTQ people are embraced and respected.”

#Drop the T #And the Q #And the + #GLAAD #Accelerating Acceptance Index

[orcnumber1]

I've been thinking about this a lot, and how to word this as gently as possible. Hopefully this doesn't piss anyone off.

I saw a post the other day about how autism is not always this cute quirky thing and there are autistic people who have addiction issues and anger problems stemming from the trauma of just being in the world as an autistic person. And I automatically thought of Nathan in the clip from AotD. Because he is widely classified as autistic in fandom, sort of how many fans classify Pickles as trans (no judgement btw, it's just very widely accepted fanon).

Yeah he was lashing out at his bandmates, and at the fans. He's always chased normalcy because his life has been anything but. I mean seriously, he watched his whole class get killed by a drunk driver, prophetic dreams since he was a kid (he dreamed of his own band but couldn't see any of their faces according to that one Revolver interview) that only got more intense, failing out of school because public schools are not designed for anyone who isn't "normal" - that's a lot to deal with.

Nathan looks at his parents as what a real, "normal" existence should be - fall in love, get married, have kids. He and the other guys, back in the beginning of the show when they were jaded rock gods who couldn't even shop for food at a grocery store on their own, always used to go off about how much they didn't want to be like regular people. But I think the first conversation Nathan had with Abigail made him realize he was getting older and running out of things to write songs about anyway and time was running out for him to get that normalcy he's always secretly craved.

Which is why he threw Pickles and the rest of his band effectively under the bus, especially after he and Abigail hooked up on the sub. He felt like he was so close and he didn't want to lose what he knew would probably be his last chance.

So now in AotD, Abigail dumps him and he's melting the fuck down. He knows he can't have a normal life. He knows he has to write the Song Of Salvation and save the world. He knows he and his band are gods. And he doesn't want any of it. No it's not right or fair that he lashes out at the guys, but he has so much anger and he has nowhere else to direct it at, which can happen to an allistic person as well but sometimes autistic people just can't contain it anymore when they've had enough. It doesn't mean he hates them. Everyone in Dethklok have all said they "hate" each other at some point, look at Skwisgaar and Toki. But the way they act around each other says otherwise. Hopefully he'll realize that "normal" isn't always right, but we won't know that for another week (one more week omg 🫣)

#metalocalypse #dethklok #sorry for the rambling jumbled word vomit but i had to get it out #nathan's not a complete asshole guys he's just going thru a lot rn #also sorry if someone else has already said all of this too btw

[harrumphingtons]

**CW: mentioned child abuse and rape/sexual assault**

Okay, so Jamie’s like? Rebuilding his relationship with his dad? I guess? And like, I’m not judging Jamie for making this choice. He absolutely deserves a positive relationship with his father. But his father does not deserve anything with or from Jamie, and frankly, considering what we know of what Tartt Sr. was like while Jamie was growing up, I find it a little hard to believe that Jamie could have that relationship with his dad without constantly feeling uneasy or on edge or just generally not comfortable.

Season three was huge about forgiveness, even in places where it kinda sorta in my opinion was not deserved, and Tartt Sr. is a perfect example of this. There’s certain lines that, when crossed, there’s no coming back from it, and I think that you know, just maybe, verbal abuse, heavily implied physical abuse, and rape/sexual assault (not entirely certain how to classify what James did to Jamie in Amsterdam but it’s something along those lines) (and he may have done it via another person but that does not make it any better) are some of those lines? And no, I’m not actually asking that question. Those are absolutely, positively, 100% lines that there is no coming back from crossing.

So maybe Tartt Sr gets better, actually tries to be a good father. It’s too late, at this point, and even if Jamie really tried, I don’t think he could just put everything his father’s done to him in the past behind him, not while the man is still part of his life as a regular reminder. Even if Tartt Sr never did something fucked up again, he did way too many fucked up things in the past for him to ever be forgiven in any capacity. And addressing the fact that he seems to be in rehab, likely for alcohol addiction, I’d just like to mention that, like many other people have said on this site, Tartt Sr.’s addiction doesn’t excuse his actions. And frankly, considering the scale of what Tartt Sr. did to his son, his addiction can hardly even be used as an explanation. I don’t really think addiction can not even justify but explain the decision to take your 14-year-old son to the red light district and force him to lose his virginity to someone. Tartt Sr. is 100% still accountable for all his past actions, and being in rehab doesn’t change that. And furthermore, (again, like many others on here have pointed out) even though we as an audience know that Tartt Sr. was in treatment for something (it is, after all, not necessarily rehab), Jamie doesn’t. As he said, he hasn’t seen or spoken to his dad since Wembley. And sure, you could say that Jamie only texted his father because he hadn’t heard from him in a while and was worried he’d like. Died, or something. Considering his father used to be “on him after every match, about how played and how he sat on the bench when he didn’t play” (indirect quote from 2.2), it probably would have struck Jamie as strange that there was no contact a lot sooner. At the point of Mom City, it’d been over a year since Wembley. But Jamie hadn’t reached out in that time either, so his decision to do so now was definitely a product of his talk with Ted about forgiveness, which, again, isn’t something he should be giving to his father.

Jamie moving on and not letting Tartt Sr affect him anymore? I am all for that. Jamie deserves that much and way more. But (and this, of course, just my opinion) I don’t think Jamie having a relationship with Tartt Sr would allow him to ever be free of everything horrible that happened between them in the past. I think for Jamie to finally be able to move on with his life, it’s more likely he’d have to cut off Tartt Sr. entirely.

And I get that the theme of Ted Lasso is that everyone can improve. The only character who didn’t get a redemption of any sort is Rupert. But Tartt Sr., in terms of irredeemability, is at least on par with Rupert. They both crossed lines they can never uncross. But what I hate the most is that by showing Jamie actually having a nice moment with his father, they’re effectively kind of sort of saying that everything Tartt Sr did was okay, that it was something an apology could fix. That all it really was was him being a hard dad, and that maybe he was a little *too* hard at times, and he gets that now, and he’s sorry for that and he’s going to be better. That he’s always been proud of Jamie, even if he wasn’t great at showing it, and he just wants Jamie to be happy. (If that was actually true, Tartt Sr would be a lot more like Nate’s dad, but he’s not.) And that, what, the Amsterdam thing was somehow an acceptable thing to do to his son? That it was just a little mistake?

But everything Tartt Sr did wasn’t okay, and in no way will any of it ever be excusable. If all he had ever done was yell, maybe be a bit hard to please, that’s different. But he actively belittled his son, was so on him about every little stupid thing that Jamie literally quit playing for a period of time, even though it’s obvious he loves football, and even if the only physical abuse actually shown or mentioned was Tartt Sr. throwing that shoe at Jamie in the s1 finale and shoving him in the Wembley episode, it’s implied so heavily that it’s obvious that’s not the worst he ever did. And then, obviously, there’s what he did Amsterdam, which I’m pretty certain is statutory rape, although I may be wrong.

James Tartt Sr. is absolutely unforgivable. He does not deserve any sort of redemption. Jamie deserves healthier relationships that don’t have that kind of history looming over them.

There was that short moment, in Mom City, right before they showed Tartt Sr. in rehab, where it seemed like he had died, and I really, really, really wish they’d just killed him. Okay, that wouldn’t have really given Jamie any sort of closure, but the way they actually did write his storyline, I don’t think he’s getting the closure he deserves anyways. But Rupert facing retribution shows that the writers weren’t opposed to having an irredeemable character, and it’s not that hard to have two instead of one. James Tartt Sr. should’ve faced retribution too, not have gotten off easy somehow still having everything.

#ted lasso apple tv #ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso s3 spoilers #tl #ted lasso s3 #jamie tartt #james tartt #james tartt sr #tw sa #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw rape

[megarax-ponyo]

¡Hello everyone!🐺✨... A call out (?

You will find something surprising - that I make this type of publications, since I have never done it here

But I do this for a good cause and to avoid problems with other users, look. I don't know where to start with this topic but hey... I'll try to explain it the best way I can Lately, I have received some messages that are somewhat... hard for me since well I understand your anger and displeasure about it with my Au I understand that the subject that I touch on in my drawings or in general in this story that I am doing, is not entirely pleasant to the eye and even less so because of the very graphic parts that I get to illustrate.

Not everyone can see this type of content and it is understandable, but believe me when I tell you that nothing I draw, write or present in this story is done in a mocking way or that I am really romanticizing the topic From the beginning when I started drawing my Au. I made it clear that I would try to handle it as maturely as I could. So that no user would call me a bad or edgy person for making an extremely dark story and I would be making fun of all this in the background

Clarifying this point for the thousandth time, I want to apologize to those people who have felt identified with my Au, have made them uncomfortable or have disturbed them, but my true purpose is not that

But rather to talk about a topic that people are afraid to even mention in an era where everything is censored because it "harms" or "offends" others. I also wanted to get to this point.... This is why whenever I am going to publish something extremely harsh, I put warnings so that they are careful about what they see next and I always leave a link to the place where they can see it without any restriction or censorship

Maybe I made a mistake in putting the wrong hastags, but I can remedy it and put the appropriate ones so that my content does not clash with people who are sensitive to such topics. I also made some special ones for my Au (in case you are interested) those would be #hypnoticaddictionau and #hypnotic addiction au, in order to classify my Au a little better

I'm not done yet! What I'm going to say will already be very hackneyed by almost the entire internet... but really, if you don't like seeing my content, that's fine! Can you get past me, you know? They don't need to be rude or classify me in the worst ways, just for doing things they don't like, for my part I have always tried to be as understandable and friendly as I can, I have never wanted to fall into rudeness. something that many users do with me... I don't understand why, being a good person... the rest see me as trash... I know that at a certain point I thought that many people would despise me for what I do but I really didn't want to be like the rest... in the sense that they can't talk about serious or strong topics for fear of the public rejecting them I always stayed on the sidelines and I was firm in the face of everything that has happened to me in recent times and I will continue to be firm in my work, decisions and everything that my art entails

First of all, I also want to thank those wonderful people who support my work and art, who always give me very comforting words, who make great things like Bots or Fics of all this Au and know that all this is to reflect and entertain. Thank you for all your support🥰

¡HEY! I don't want you to be scared by this either... huge message... anyway, it's just a small statement for those people whose best way to refute things to me is to be rude and call me things that I'm not even close to being. I'm not going to stop making my Au, not at all! It is a job that both you and I enjoy. I just want it to be very clear that I am a person like you and just like you I have feelings, I have problems, I have occupations... I have principles and values

I'm tired of some people talking to me as if I were... I don't know! a damn lunatic or a criminal, I just wanted to tell my story and that's it! I'm not looking to harm anyone, okay? I would be very grateful if you could please understand that

I think... that for my part this would be all, I'm sorry to bother you with this enormous writing but I wanted to be honest with all of you and speak to you out of character Thank you for coming this far, soon I will bring more things that will make your head explode! see ya! 🐺❤✨

#meganixart #call out! #wally darling au #hypnoticaddictionau #my artwrok #my stuff #welcome home arg #hypnotic addiction au #playfellowxxx #welcome home au #wallydarling #call out post #wally darling #Now I'm talking seriously

[ddejavvu]

idk if you’ve been asked this before but what are your thoughts on reid lashing out at jj about the whole emily thing in season 7?

my thoughts are that it's too complicated to say i'm on either one's side </3

JJ fucking pissed me off with the later Jeid storyline but I liked her at the beginning of the show -> onwards until p much right there, so I tried not to let that letdown influence my retrospective on the s7 situation.

JJ was following highly classified, highly important government orders. Her boss told her to keep her mouth shut for safety reasons, and as someone who's seen countless friends and family members suffer because intel got loose, I can understand why she'd adhere so firmly to the guidelines. She was a good agent.

However, Reid requires stability and consistency in his environment, as he is at a high risk for slipping back into his addiction + developing symptoms of his mother's illness (which, if i remember correctly, were teased but never actually confirmed in him. My point is, he's an at-risk individual who was thrown into grief). I can completely understand how finding out that the shoulder you cried on for months and months and months was actually lying to you about the source of your grief would make someone angry. I actually think he deserved to be angry, he had the right to be angry, but then things become muddled when you ask me if i think he had the right to be angry at JJ.

Personally, I think I'd initially feel very betrayed if I were Spencer, even if i worked it out later. But again, JJ was following orders to keep Emily alive, and if she had confessed and compromised the undercover operation, Emily would have been killed.

I think, in the actual scene, JJ had absolutely no right to tell him that if he was a better profiler, he'd have been able to figure things out. I thought it was a really low blow for her, especially knowing that he'd been so devastated over his friend's 'death'. I understand that his anger caught her off guard, and she felt unjustly blamed, and I might have been upset or torn too in her position. But the way that she handled it was highly unprofessional and something a petty teenager would say and then reluctantly apologize for once they discover their actions have consequences.

I think that Reid basically pouting during work hours and letting his personal feelings affect his work (y'know, saving lives) was also highly unprofessional. However, the issue was that the entire situation revolved around his work in the first place, and Emily just like slipped right back in?? so he had zero time to process anything and I don't know if I'd be able to separate my feelings from my job either.

I don't blame Spencer for not feeling like he could trust JJ/his team after that, at least not as deeply as he used to. I don't blame JJ for feeling hurt that Spencer took his anger out on her rather than the general situation/even Hotch who gave JJ the orders, and told Spencer he was responsible for it.

it bothers me when Spencer stans will demonize JJ for it while refusing to acknowledge Spencer's missteps, and it pisses me off when JJ likers use it to call Reid a petty toddler without considering his feelings on the matter. All in all, it was a complicated, messy situation with no completely right or wrong side, in my opinion.

#mei's mail

[crownmemes]

Mycroft Holmes (Sherlock) Sentences

(Sentences from Mycroft Holmes from Sherlock (2010-2017). Adjust phrasing where needed)

“I would make some kind of threat, but I’m sure your situation is quite clear to you.”

“You don’t seem very afraid”

“Bravery is by far the kindest word for stupidity, don’t you think?”

“You don’t seem the kind to make friends easily.”

“Did it never occur to you that you and I belong on the same side?”

“We have more in common than you’d like to believe.”

“No, no, no, I can’t possibly be away from the office for any length of time. Not with the elections so… Well, you don’t need to know about that, do you?”

“Don’t make me order you.”

“For God’s sake, put your clothes on!”

“Don’t be alarmed, it’s to do with sex.”

“All lives end, all hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage.”

“You seem desperate for my attention, which I’m sure can be arranged.”

“Our traditions define us.”

“I need you to give this matter your full attention - is that quite clear?”

“They have a few bottles of the 2000 Saint-Emilion, though I prefer the 2001.”

“You know, it is just possible that you won’t be welcome.”

“Don’t be smart. I’m the smart one.”

“If you seem slow to me, can you imagine what real people are like?”

“I’m living in a world of goldfish.”

“I warned you; don’t get involved.”

“What do we say about coincidences?”

“That name you think you may have just heard, you were mistaken. If you ever mention hearing that name in this room, in this context, I guarantee you on behalf of the secret services that materials will be found on your computer hard-drives, resulting in your immediate incarceration.”

“I hope I won’t have to threaten you as well.”

“You may consider him under my protection.”

“If you go against him, then you will find yourself going against me.”

“Am I happy too? I haven’t checked.”

“He’s a necessary evil, not a dragon for you to slay.”

“Your loss would break my heart.”

“As my colleague is fond of remarking, this country sometimes needs a blunt instrument.”

“I am not given to outbursts of brotherly compassion.”

“It is no easy thing for a great mind to contemplate a still greater one.”

“Nobody deceives like an addict.”

“I was there for you before, I’ll be there for you again. I’ll always be there for you.”

“What you are about to see is classified beyond top secret.”

“I don’t like loose ends. Not on my watch.”

“Is that sentiment talking?”

“Agents tend not to reach retirement age. They get retired in a pretty permanent sort of way.”

“Everybody dies. It’s the one thing human beings can be relied upon to do.”

“I have, I think, apologised extensively for that.”

“No, no, stop; I detest conversation in the past tense.”

“Is this merely steam-of-consciousness abuse, or are you attempting to make a point?”

“Why would I need your private number?”

“You have no idea what you’re dealing with. None at all!”

“So, what happens now? Are you going to make deductions?”

“Memories can resurface. Wounds can reopen. The roads we walk have demons beneath.”

“Now, listen to me, for your own physical safety, do not speak!”

“I will not be manipulated like this.”

“We’re not actually going to discuss this, are we?”

“You shame us all. You shame the family name.”

“I was trying to be kind…”

#rp meme #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #specific; #sherlock; #filmtv; #sherlock holmes;

[disgustingtoast]

random [eddie munson] hcs

A/N: girl help I've placed my mental health in the hands of a total dork again

wc: 1.6k but every hc thingy (idk) is about 300

summary: title says it all baby

warnings: one mention of a joint, one fem term of endearment at the end (the rest is gn but lmk if I missed anything), first time writing in a format like this

◇─◇──◇─◇

Pretends to hate it when you force him to let you paint his nails but it’s secretly one of his favorite activities because of how intimate it becomes

Always goes for black or a blood red color but if you catch him in a super good mood he’ll let you paint his pinkies to match whatever color you painted yours

It’s one of the rare times he isn’t talking and tends to just stare at you, admiring the slope of your nose and the way you peek up at him through your lashes

Loves loves loves the feeling of his hand in yours and the featherlight brushing of your fingers against his is something he could never grow sick of 

The room is bathed in an incandescent orange glow as the setting sun filters in through the small window and melds with the golden light shining the lamp on Eddie’s desk. There’s a slight haze in the almost-cramped room, its culprit dangling from Eddie’s unpainted fingers that aren’t currently pinched between your own. You’re both sitting on his mattress facing each other. Neither of you have spoken a word in a while but you hum along to a song playing through the stereo. He’s propped up against the wall behind him with his legs bent and pulled close to his chest. Resting on one of his bent knees is his left wrist and his hand is pointed towards you with the fingers fanned out. His pointer finger is held gingerly by you as you swipe a glob of inky nail polish along its nail. When you’re satisfied with the application you double check the rest of his fingers. He studies you as you blow gently on them and his eyes, pupils blown wide from the addicting concoction of weed and pure adoration for you, meet yours as you glance at him through your lashes. The smile you wear has him reeling. 

◇─◇──◇─◇

A bit of a music snob. Tends to get pretty judgy and thinks his music taste exceeds everyone else’s.

Metalhead king. Has Judas Priest and Iron Maiden playing 98 percent of the time. 

Will 100 percent put you on blast if he hears you listening to anything without 5 minute guitar solos and near incomprehensible lyrics

God forbid you have anything new wave-y or movie soundtrack cassettes 

He’ll tease you but doesn’t mean it genuinely- of course you can listen to anything that makes you happy 

If you’re unbearably persistent and are willing to strap him down you can change his mind on some songs you just need to expect him to pretend like he hates it even though you swear you see his foot tapping out the corner of your eye

“What’s in that?” Eddie’s voice pipes up over the scratching sound of your pencil and you turn in your chair to see what he’s talking about. From where he’s sitting on your bed he’s eyeing something underneath it. It’s only when he moves to reach for something do you realize what he’s talking about. An old beat up shoe box peeks out from where your comforter ends a couple inches above the floor. You remember haphazardly shoving it there when you heard Eddie ring your doorbell. Shooting forward, away from your seat at your desk, you yelp out a strangled, “Stop!” but it’s too late. Eddie’s ring clad fingers had already grasped it and is currently pulling it into his lap. 

Dark eyebrows shoot up his forehead and practically disappear behind his hair. He studies you for a second and considers the record time you’d made from your chair to where you stand at the side of your bed. The little shit has the gal to smirk. “Classified huh? Interesting.” 

Just as his fingers slip between the box and the lip of its lid you make your move and lunge forward aiming to grab it from him. Since nothing can be easy, instead of getting a grip on it your desperation has you smacking it from his hands and sending it flying across the bed. It lands with a residual clash onto the floor on the opposite side of where you stand. You know from the clattering sounds that your cassettes have spilled all over the hardwood. Eddie sputters for a second before scrambling to see the box's contents. Your lips are pressed together in anticipation when you see your boyfriend pause, lean over the edge of your bed, and sigh. He hesitates for a moment before pulling himself back up and facing you. Pressed between his fingers is a bright green cassette. 

“Oingo Boingo? Really?”

◇─◇──◇─◇

Craves validation and attention. A major attention whore.

Will never admit it but loves being held. He’ll gladly let you cuddle into him but the minute he’s the one receiving the love? He’s putty.

Simultaneously has a massive ego and a whole world of self esteem issues so just praise him and tell him that you love him and boom you're golden. 

Likes his hair messed with. Shivers when your nails drag against his scalp.

It’s nearing three in the morning when Eddie finally falls asleep. The rise and fall of his chest becomes uniform and his face is serene as his mind clears. You know he tries not to show it but when you know someone as well as you know him, it doesn’t take much to figure that he was letting the weight of the world rest on his shoulders. With the combination of Hellfire’s newest and final campaign of the school year coming to an end, his third (and hopefully last) year as a senior ending and the horrible comments thrown at him it’s a wonder he hardly lets anything get to him. But sometimes, when the world is dark and sullen or he’s alone with his thoughts too long it catches up with him. Luckily he has you. Has you to put on a corny feel good movie. Has you to convince him to lay down and rest his head against your thighs. Has you and your magic fingers that seem to soak up every one of his worries as they pass through his curls. Eddie would bounce back, become the fun loving oaf that is Eddie “The Freak” Munson, but until then he has you to hold his crumbling pieces together.

◇─◇──◇─◇

A Menace. With a capital M followed by a period. Teases you any chance he gets and not in a fun spicy way. More like he has the innate talent for pressing your buttons until you want to wring his neck kind of way.

Whines all the time about you not paying enough attention to him 

Kisses you on the corner of your mouth and slithers away before you can demand a better kiss

Slides his freezing hands (and ice cold RINGS) under your shirt or grips the back of your neck and has the audacity to complain when you start swinging at him

If you're close enough to a bed he just needs to body slam you into it

“Eddie! So God help me if you don’t burn that I’ll tell everyone at school that you’ve watched Sixteen Candles seven times!” 

Eddie only smiles wider when he sees you in all your fiery glory. If this was a cartoon you’d have steam billowing out your ears but alas the only theatrics he got was the flaring of your nostrils and heaving chest. He’s happy he pulled the car over into a random parking lot because if he’d been driving he surely would have crashed because of how hard he was laughing. As best as he could in his seat he had his arm twisted behind his back and out of your reach. Clutched in his hand is one of the most unflattering, self esteem bombing, and horrifying polaroids of you that you’d ever seen. You’d found it only ten minutes ago shoved away in the glove box while you and Eddie were on your way to Family Video to rent a movie. When he saw that you’d seen it he’d immediately snatched it from you and pulled off the road. 

Through his laughter he wheezes out a pathetic, “It’s cute!”

At that you dive forward and try to wrench his arm back around. “No the fuck it isn’t!” 

◇─◇──◇─◇

always has a cold nose and takes every opportunity to shove it into your neck when you’re hugging

tries to come up with the corniest nicknames for you and smiles really big when you play along

he offers his hand to you. “my lady.” you slide your palm into it and tangle your fingers with his. “my lord.”

big fan of pressing kisses to your temple and the back of your hand

makes you sit in at his dnd sessions 

picks out patches to put on your denim jacket

if you have long hair he always has an elastic on his wrist 

messy eater. M. E. S. S. Y.

sings in the shower so incredibly loud 

does that thing where when he brakes really hard his arm shoots out to hold you back in your seat

when he kisses you he grabs both sides of you face 

gets shy when you ask him to play the guitar for you

◇─◇──◇─◇

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #stranger things headcanons #stranger things imagine #stranger things s4 #stranger things spoilers

[fallingmaddlyinlove]

this is somewhat of a madd related post but it's also a possibly triggering vent post so im hiding it. i kinda woke up in a bad mood so i apologize in advance:

***

ok so does anyone else with madd feel like they have an addictive personality in general? ik madd is technically more of a dissociative disorder, but ik that some people also classify it as a kind of addiction.

what i mean is, i feel like a certain number of people with madd must have this deep-rooted fear of reality. i can't be the only one. being fully grounded in reality can be so scary.

when im not daydreaming, i'm dissociated in general. when i'm not dissociated, i'm panicking and searching my house (or someone else's house) for substance so i don't have to be here. i mean, what is it that's so scary about being grounded to the point where i'm willing to steal narcotics from someone else's fucking house?

i still haven't figured out what it is.

i remember one time i was venting to my family, and one of them said something along the lines of "why would you be willing to purposely destroy your body and waste your life away when you've survived cancer twice?" and they were talking about excessive daydreaming as well, not just substance abuse. (according to them, constantly daydreaming does kind of waste away your life, and they aren't wrong, i guess.)

i don't know. i couldn't give them a straight answer.

i guess what i'm trying to conclude is, i can't be the only maladaptive daydreamer who has a serious fear of being in reality. maladaptive daydreaming can stem from some seriously deep-rooted issues for a lot of people.

i can't be the only one.

#madd #maladaptive daydreaming #daydreaming disorder #tw addiction #addiction

[rivuletmansion]

It's been a while since I posted anything about this AU augdsuasgd So here's 2 more character designs- Nightcat and Enot!

Nightcat, The Horror Addict

Having stumbled upon the mansion on accident with his sister Enot during a dare from his highschool friends, Night found himself becoming the mansion's most frequent visitor after being forced to attend a party there courtesy of Rivulet. As someone who loves horror and mystery medias, he finds Rivulet's mansion to be a rather exciting turning point for his life. Extremely curious and wide-eyed about anything spooky, Night is nonetheless a chill and hilariously witty guy who has a preference for emo/gothy feminine clothes, and whose eccentricities (such as his odd fondness for his personal umbrella that he carries everywhere) fit right in with the mansion's living residents in Arti's family. Despite having dated once (and getting cheated on for it), he's rather clueless when it comes to romance- resulting in his blind spot for Survivor's puppy crush on him!

Enot, The Diva

On the outside, Enot seems like a very flamboyant and arrogant beauty who takes pride in her cuteness and attractiveness, resulting in many slugcats falling for her left and right. However, deep inside she's a generous soul who wishes she can spoil her brother rotten. She's also not a dirty girl by any means- despite the many dates she went on for fun, she never allowed herself to do anything more than hold paws in terms of physical affections. For she has made a strict promise to herself to not ever be intimate with anyone, until she's able to support both herself and Night financially without needing help from her parents (who she and Night have a somewhat strained relationship with) In stark contrast to her little brother, Enot is easily frightened by anything that can be classified as horror. In spite of this, she makes it a point to always accompany Night in his visits to the mansion, both to keep an eye on him and to try to get over her own fear of anything spooky. It's a work in progress, but she's trying her best!

#rain world au #rivulet mansion #rivulet's mansion #rain world #rain world downpour #rain world art #rainworld #rain world inv #rain world nightcat

[mint-berry-crunch]

Can you do tweek headcanons? Especially neurodivergent stuff

I'M SOO SO SORRY I GOT TO THIS SO LATE, I WAS BURNT OUT N LOST THE LOGIN FOR THIS ACCOUNT! PLZ FORGIVE ME /lh

ANYWAYS...!

Alrighty, so, much like a lot of the fandom, I believe that Mr. Tweak here has a whole SLEW of disorders and syndromes and such. First, I'm going to list everything I think he has, and THEN I'll explain WHY I think he has them. Ok? Ok.

I believe Tweek has ADHD, Tourette's syndrome, addiction, trichotillomania, paranoia caused by severe anxiety, CPTSD, insomnia, and OCD.

ADHD: His parents outright state that he has ADD in the show, but as that's not a formal diagnosis anymore, and he clearly IS hyperactive, I'd classify him as ADHD. And yes, I know people are gonna say that "it's the coffee!!1!1!" It's meth-laced. It's meth-laced coffee. And I am NOT going to do research on how meth effects people with ADHD (cause I don't want to be put on a list) because it's a stimulant and all that and our brains react differently to stimulants, so idk. Once again, NOT researching meth for a South Park headcanon 🥲

Tourette's syndrome: Again, i don't know if meth can cause tics or anything, so I'm just gonna go ahead and (TOTALLY PROFESSIONALLY *wink wink wink wink wink*) diagnose Tweek with Tourette's. I think it's pretty obvious why, but he's shown having all sorts of tics very frequently, they ramp up when he's stressed, and he's around the age they're usually observed.

Addiction: Not a neurodivergency, but it is a disorder, and I think that Tweek is addicted to the meth-laced coffee.

Trichotillomania: trichotillomania is when you cannot resist the urge to pull out your own hair. We see Tweek doing this a LOT, and at one point (maybe more but I only remember one,) he ripped out a whole CHUNK of his hair.

Paranoia: Tweek is paranoid about things such as the underpants gnomes (which actually turned out to be real) and the North Korean government. While this could be chalked up to anxiety, I believe that severe paranoia is at play here. Mainly because of the severity of his fears.

Severe anxiety: I know I literally just said that I think Tweek's paranoia isn't anxiety, but you can totally have both, and I think Tweek does. Just watch one episode with this kid and you'll understand why I think he has severe anxiety.

CPTSD: This one may be triggering, but I believe that Tweek has CPTSD mainly from all the years of mistreatment and (at best) erratic behavior from his parents. I'll leave it at that because I don't want to trigger anyone by going into details.

Insomnia: Tweek mentions in the underpants gnomes episode that he can never sleep, so it seems pretty cut and dry that he has insomnia.

OCD: Most people might not think of this one, but as someone who suffers from OCD myself, I see a lot of the symptoms in Tweek. I have a compulsion where I have to jerk my head to the side, and Tweek does too, although this is usually portrayed as a tic. I'm pretty sure it's a tic in canon, but screw it, they're my headcanons, and I say they're compulsions lol

I can do other headcanons too, but those were just the neurodivergent ones! LMK if you want more of Tweek!

#tweek tweak #sp #south park #south park headcanons #south park hcs #south park tweek #tweek south park #headcanon #headcanons #sp hcs

[unexpectedgeese]

Smirke’s taxonomy is good, actually. Fight me.

No ok but like I WILL go to bat for the Smirke Taxonomy of fears you guys have no fuckin clue what’s up. Neither did Smirke but like

OK SO. The Smirke taxonomy makes no fucking sense if you’re using it as a straight-on categorization of fears. Control and spiders? How are those the same thing? Why is FIRE its own damn category? Yadda yadda BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT.

Because yeah, Smirke was trying to categorize fears– But what he actually did is categorize HOW THEY MANIFEST.

Like;;; human fear is infinitely varied and complex. You’re never going to be able to slot it into simple categories. We’re afraid of EVERYTHING– the unknown and the known and the concrete and the abstract and the truth and the untruth and spiders and heights and being forgotten and it’s like!! A nuanced outlook on how the fears manifest in avatars and the like is crucial for any actual study but it’s a NIGHTMARE for filing systems. Could you imagine running an archive and having to pinpoint the exact fear for every single statement? “Ooh, is this story where a man is killed by spiders driven by a fear of spiders themselves, oor more what spiders imply?” You’d never get anything done!

But What you CAN do. Is categorize the fears not by what they’re fears of, but by how they manifest in the real world. Because! The manifestations of the fears are driven by the way we as a society talk about our fear! And so grouping fear manifestations and avatars into categories based on how we talk about them is a GENIUS way to circumvent the complicated-ass fear identity question in favor of a more pragmatic, top-down approach to the varied dreads that stalk our everyday lives.

Like, when you’re addicted to something? You’re ‘caught in your own web’. When you don’t know what’s going on? You’re ‘being kept in the dark’. Having a mental health crisis, well, I think you might be ‘spiraling’, my friend! 

Are the everyday struggles of life getting you down? You’re ‘under a lot of pressure,’ seems like. ET CETERA ET CETERA! I could go on! But the POINT is– the language we use to talk about and understand out fear can be used to group said fear into categories based on how it manifests, and SMIRKE’S TAXONOMY IS PERFECT FOR THAT.

And not because that’s how it was intended– No, Robert Smirke is STILL a fucking hack, I’m not disputing that. His whole ‘balance’ schtick was stupid as hell. BUT ALSO! 

Because his taxonomy is so popular among avatars and such, the very EXISTENCE of ‘the entities’ as a concept has skewed the cultural zeitgeist in such a way that Smirke’s taxonomy is more correct now than it was when it was created.

Which!! Is so cool!! Like. Yes, the Smirke taxonomy is objectively a really shit way to classify fear. Most individual ‘entities’ have conflicting fears associated (being watched and watching yourself? C’mon, Eye. You can do better), and there’s some odd overlap too (there are SO MANY fears that incorporate ‘the unknown’ in some way). But when attempting to classify the  physical traits and such of a manifestation/avatar? Smirke’s got you covered, baby!

To summarize: While Smirke’s taxonomy sucks ASS when you try to apply it to the psychological specifics of any given avatar, or fear, or what have you, it’s great for classifying the physical. The cut-and-dry 14 entities give a really good intro to the world of fears, work great for any kind of filing system, and give a good big-picture view of avatar politics. 

#tma #the magnus archives #should i tag this as spoilers? I'm not sure so lmk if I should #but like. Smirke was a dumb old white man #but his work had some merit #Robert Smirke #I'm a little divided on whether or not the Smirke system works well when applied to inter-avatar power dynamics tho.. #like. In some cases the physical symbols justify the power dynamics really nicely #like w/ the Desolation and the Web-- you CAN burn spiderwebs. that checks out #but I think that avatars can be really varied (like with Elias vs. Jon-- two very different powersets/ways of feeding #Bc they serve different aspects of the Eye! Elias serves the mortifying ordeal of being known #whereas Jon serves like.. the fear of an impassive and almost malicious watcher #trying to pry you open just so it can watch you suffer) #and like.. In order to actually understand WHY the power dynamics break down like they do #you need to actually grasp the psychological root of the issue #Idk man. Just goes to show that both understandings of the fears are needed I guess