#this also has a couple songs pending addition

[criticalbennifer]

LA VIDA LOPEZ

Jennifer Lopez Gives the Lowdown on Marriage, Movies, and Ben’s Big Night Out

On the eve of her wedding, Jennifer Lopez speaks out about her past few tumultuous months–from the recent tabloid furor and the Gigli debacle to romantic infidelity, the beauty business, and, of course, Ben.

By: Aaron Gell

Oct. 1, 2003

Jennifer Lopez would rather not talk about the worldwide code-red state of emergency that is her personal life – the pending nuptials, the estranged former manager, the possibly misbehaving fiancé, et cetera.

Who can blame her?

“It’s our life, its not a television show,” the actress, singer and powerhouse multihyphenate says plaintively, sitting sideways on a creamy leather sofa in a set trailer in Winnipeg, Canada, where she’s filming the romantic comedy Shall We Dance? Her nut-brown skin is flawless as usual, her hair is pulled back, and she’s wearing a pair of grey sweatpants from her clothing line, JLo by Jennifer Lopez, and a white Cosabella T-shit – all to casually devastating effect. (Her engagement ring is, for the moment, stowed in a nearby safe while she works.) “Believe me, I’d like nothing better than to sit here and shoot the s— with you,” she adds, protectively hugging a throw pillow between her knees like a plush teddy bear, “but I also want to live a happy life.”

So, no. As to the particulars of the gown or the ceremony or the centerpieces, she ain’t saying. For that matter, she’s not about to admit whether she and Ben are having a spat, either.

Lopez, who turned 33 in July, ascribes this reticence to the breathless tabloid free-for­-all – complete with expert body-language analysis, handy relationship flowcharts and extreme telephoto close-ups of the most famous ring since Frodo’ s – that surrounds the couple’s every move and had, in the weeks preceding our interview, gone thermonuclear. “Literally, there’s someone shooting into my house with cameras,” she says. “I go out, and I’m going to be followed by six cars. All day long. You say to yourself, ‘It will pass. This is not who I really am. ‘But you’ re a person, and it hurts.”

Doing the occasional interview is fine, she says, part of the job. “But if you’re in the paper every damn day, people are like, ‘Who cares?’ And then nobody goes to see your movie!” She’s referring, of course, to the ill-fated Gigli, in which she and Affleck costarred. “It’s like, ‘Why should we? We see her every day,’ and then you’re like, ‘Wait a minute! That’s the only reason I’m doing this!’ “

“So we made a decision,” she continues, shaking her tight ponytail resolutely. “I’m just not going to talk about any personal stuff.”

That’s the plan, anyway. But there’s a problem. Well, two. The first is that Lopez’s personal life has always been so thoroughly intertwined with her work that it would take a team of arthroscopic surgeons to separate the strands.

Take for example, her new fragrance, Still Jennifer Lopez, the forthcoming launch of which is the sole reason her solidly built but affable bodyguard, B.O.B., has allowed a reporter to cross the carpeted threshold of her trailer in the first place. Not only does the perfume share its name with a love song from Lopez’s latest album, This Is Me…Then, but it recalls the chorus of the record’s hit single “Jenny From the Block”: “Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got/I’m still, I’m still Jenny from the block” In addition to which, the scent’s advertising tag line, “In the eye of the storm, I am still Jennifer Lopez,” is an explicit reference to her rather remarkable poise amid the flurry of activity that – now more than ever – surrounds her. And the bottle’s elaborate packaging, featuring a removable faux-diamond ring perched on its neck, immediately brings to mind the $6.1 million pink bauble, custom-designed by Harry Winston, she received upon her engagement to Affleck. While insisting that the bottle design is not a reference to her own betrothal-“Why didn’t we make it pink, then?” she asks – Lopez concedes that the similarities are striking. “It did kind of occur to us later on,” she says with a laugh.

Such interconnectedness is the essence of Lopezland, a supremely polished multi­media hall of mirrors in which every facet seems to reflect in every other, endlessly amplifying the star’s own light. To wit, her four multiplatinum albums are largely auto­biographical, brimming with direct references to her romances with Sean “P. Diddy” Combs (who also produced her debut, On the 6), Cris Judd (who danced in and choreographed her TV concert special, “Let’s Get Loud”) and Affleck (who appears in the video for ”Jenny From the Block” and is the subject of “Dear Ben”). Meanwhile, such films as Selena, The Wedding Planner and Maid in Manhattan have-perhaps unintentionally bathed Lopez’s own oft-repeated biographical story in their fairy-tale Hollywood glow.

The second problem with the newly reticent, self-protective Lopez is that, frankly, it’s not her. She is, by nature, a defiantly unguarded person. As anyone who witnessed the sartorial game of chicken she played with that rainforest-green Versace dress at the 2000 Grammys already knows, circumspection is not really Lopez’s thing. “I push myself to the limits,” she says. “I take risks. I keep myself on edge. That’s just the animal in me.”

So, sashaying right up to the edge of her own vow of silence, Lopez eschews any direct wedding talk – refusing to confirm reports that September 14 is the big day – but seems happy enough to chat about the “major transition” about to take place for her. “I’m really excited about making more time for my personal life, and making decisions that aren’t all about me,” she says. “Just having another person; a family to consider; I am so looking forward to that in my life. I have been for a long time.”

From which one might well surmise that her relationship with Affleck is …fine? “Yes!” she affirms with a warm smile. “This relationship is the best thing in my life.”

The question has taken on some urgency of late, after The National Enquirer revealed that Affleck, who spent the summer filming a movie in Vancouver, had visited a strip club on the very night that the actor and his betrothed were seen gushing about their domestic bliss in a very special “Dateline NBC.” To be sure, ogling go-go dancers is something of a prewedding tradition. But it was the other details reported by the paper – that Ben had cheated on Jen with one (or was it three?) of the strippers, and that said dalliance might have been captured on video – that soon had People and US Weekly musing, in lemon yellow 80-point cover type, IS THE WEDDING STILL ON? and WILL J.LO FORGIVE HIM?

“For me, it wasn’t an issue,” Lopez says impassively of Affleck’s night on the town. “We talk every day. I know what he does, he knows what I do. We don’t have those kind of secrets. What they put in the paper is not what happened, so it doesn’t matter. But watching that get so blown out of proportion, I was like, Wow, so this is where we’re at: You can’t walk into a place and hang out with a couple of friends without it turning into a national scandal. It was ridiculous.”

Lopez adds that she never had the slightest doubt that the reports’ more salacious details were “straight falsehoods, straight lies,” as she puts it. “Because I knew he had gone! And I knew [the story was coming out] beforehand. He’s like, ‘Hey, the Enquirer is doing a story, and I called my lawyer today,’ and I was thinking, Oh, God. I knew it was going to be a big deal in the press, but I didn’t know it was going to be like that, the cover of eight magazines at once. It’s like, This can’t be that interesting. But I guess it was. We sat there and read the articles together and said, ‘This is just insane.’ It sounds ridiculous, if you read it. It sounds so stupid! It’s like, If you’re single and 21, you wouldn’t do things like that. It’s just crazy!”

Male infidelity has been something of a leitmotif in Lopez’s work-beginning with one of her first acting roles, on “Second Chances,” a short-lived TV drama in which she played a bride with cold feet. “I do,” she declares at the altar, waiting just a beat before adding, “have reservations.” As gasps erupt from the pews, she berates the groom: ”You slept with a stripper last night!” Likewise, her characters in both The Wedding Planner and Enough deal with cheating lovers, and any number of her songs explore the subject, most prominently her very first single, “If You Had My Love,” with the fierce declaration, “First of all, I won’t have you cheating on me.”

Despite which, Lopez scoffs at the notion that men are somehow evolutionarily wired for infidelity. “They can be faithful,” she says. “They just have to want to. I don’t think it’s natural for anyone, honestly. But it’s considered more acceptable for men to cheat. It’s like men go, ‘Oh, I can’t be with just one woman…,’ But hey, it’s hard for women too, you know? Hel-lo! It’s hard for us too! Which is why I think we give our men such a hard time. It’s like, Hey, if I can [be faithful], you can do it too. Trust me.”

That said, Lopez, who became engaged to Affleck before her divorce from Judd was final, does not consider fidelity to be the only key to a good relationship. “I think you have to be honest, more than anything,” she says. “Communication, fidelity… it’s all very important, but it depends on what kind of relationship you’re in.” Indeed, Lopez has admitted she suspected P. Diddy of cheating on her when they were together, and that she put up with it. “For a little while, yes, but not in the end,” she points out now, narrowing her eyes.

Which is not to say that there aren’t some fundamental differences between the sexes. “It’s the difference between ‘me’ and ‘we,'” she explains. “Men operate from their own universe, and women are focused on family, keeping it together. Because we’re caretakers by nature – we give birth, we have to take care of that baby – and men don’t have that experience. They have to bring home the bacon, that kind of stuff. Those are different sensibilities.”

In the “Dateline NBC” interview, Lopez set eyeballs a-rolling when she declared adoringly that “Ben wears the pants” in the relationship, but in light of the extraordinary power she exercises over her business affairs, Lopez makes no apologies for seek­ing a more traditional female role at home. “It’s about being able to feel safe somewhere,” she explains. “That doesn’t mean I’m not a strong, independent woman. But I think when you’ re in a relationship, you have to submit to a certain extent.”

That attitude is a far cry from that of Ricki, the lesbian organized-crime enforcer she played in Gigli, who jousts relentlessly about the relative merits of men and women with another hired gun, played by Affleck – before, inevitably, falling into bed with him. Given the vehement hostility the film aroused, it might not be out of line to attribute some of the response to the sexual insecurity of male movie critics (still the overwhelming majority) unnerved by the sight of a beautiful woman, in the midst of a rather suggestive yoga routine, comparing their anatomy to a “sea slug.”

Indeed, one of the few critics who dared to say anything nice about Gigli was a woman, Variety‘s Amy Dawes, who says her write-up prompted readers to flood her inbox with hate mail and her boss, Peter Bart, to relieve her of her reviewing duties. “I felt like the Dixie Chicks!” Dawes says. “It’s not like the war in Iraq, it’s a movie – but there was the same intolerance of a differing opinion.”

Lopez suspects that the media obsession with her love life had a lot to do with the film’s poor reception, something she’d feared for months. “I kept warning my mom,” she recalls. “I said, ‘Mom, we’re gonna get killed.”‘

Asked how she thought such immortal lines as “It’s turkey time-gobble, gobble” and “My penis sneezes” would go over with audiences, she laughs. “It’s genius! Look, I thought it was risky, but I also felt it was juicy,” she says. “It was tough stuff to work with.” As for playing a lesbian (albeit a wobbly one), Lopez didn’t hesitate. “It didn’t define who she was,” she explains, “so it didn’t bother me. To be honest, if I actually had to do a love scene with a woman I maybe would have thought twice about it, because I’ve never done anything like that, in real life or on film. That would have been a thing like, Am I going to be able to let go that much? But it wasn’t in the script.”

As for the final product, Lopez thinks it still hasn’t gotten a fair shake. “People are saying there was no chemistry,” she says incredulously. “That’s insane! There’s crazy chemistry! Look, I’m tougher on myself than any critic can ever be. The movie had places where it didn’t work, and that’s fine. Review that. But don’t just be an ass to be an ass, you know?

“I really think it will have a resurgence on cable!” she adds. “Now people may look at me and say, ‘She’s totally off her f—ing rocker,’ but hey, that’s my theory.”

There’s little chance the film will do lasting harm to her career, but Lopez has often admitted feeling that her Bentley convertible could suddenly turn back into a pumpkin. “This business breeds that type of sensibility,” she says. “There’s always somebody there to take your place –they tell you that the first time you walk into an audition. You’re only as good as your last this or that, and you have to have something in the can.” She does: Along with Shall We Dance?, which costars Richard Gere, Lopez will appear in Jersey Girl, again with Affleck, and in the forthcom­ing Lasse Halstrom drama, An Unfinished Life, opposite Robert Redford.

Even so, it’s hardly surprising that Lopez is feeling especially vulnerable these days. In addition to the tabloid rumors and the Gigli mess, she’s in the middle of an acri­monious split from her longtime manager, Benny Medina, whom she says called recently to check in on her. “He said, ‘I just want you to know I’m always your friend and I’m always here for you,'” she says, growing a bit misty. “With all the craziness going on, that really meant some­thing to me. Benny was one of my best friends. Right now the wounds are still fresh-for both of us. It’s a transition period for me and for him to move on to a different section of our lives without the comfort of each other. Business is not easy, but I think it was really important for my own growth to kind of let go of the crutch.”

As it happens, Medina isn’t the only casualty of recent personnel changes in Lopez’s camp. She replaced her publicity firm, Rogers & Cowan, with Dan Klores Communications, a firm known for its crisis-management savvy. And on the agency front, she has raised eyebrows in Hollywood by bouncing from ICM to Endeavor to CM and back to Endeavor in less than a year. “It’s not as complicated as people make it out to be,” she says. “I’ve been doing a little juggling. You have to put the right people in place for your team to feel good. After getting out of that comfort zone I was in for a long time, I have to be a little bit more hands-on about decisions. To be honest, I feel a little orphaned right now, but I think that’s part of growing. The people I’m working with now are really smart and good at what they do.” Even so, when asked if she’s got the mix right, she admits, “It’s too early to tell.”

Despite all the turmoil, Lopez remains a world-class superstar at the top of her game. The well-received This Is Me… Then, has spawned two Top 10 singles. Her first fragrance, Glow by J.Lo, launched last September, is a run­away success. According to Catherine Walsh, vice president of the cosmetics company Lancaster, which markets Glow, the scent is ranked No.1 globally in terms of units sold ”You don’t come across a Jennifer Lopez every day,” Walsh says. Expectations are therefore quite high for Still, which includes notes of sake, Earl Grey tea, honeysuckle and sandalwood. And the fragrances are just the beginning of an ambitious House of J.Lo beauty line, including cosmetics, skin care and hair products. (Not bad for a woman whose fragrance career started at a nondescript shack in a Bronx parking lot – “Like one of those places you see that says FLATS FIXED,” Lopez recalls-where she peddled bootleg versions of Poison and other blockbuster scents of the day.) This fall the company is introducing something called the Glow Kit, a promotional sampler based on the makeup Lopez sports in the scent’s marketing materials. “The idea is to say, ‘You can capture this look,'” Walsh explains. “It’s a way to test the waters.”

Meanwhile, after a shaky start, Lopez’s Sweetface Fashion Co. is beginning to find some traction. The company’s president and CEO, Denise Seegal, describes the line as “sexy, clean, fun, girly clothing,” adding that the recently launched accessories line is doing well and that handbags, intimate apparel, footwear and outer­wear are also on the drawing board for 2004. ”Jennifer has been so successful in the past two years, and that has added a positive halo to the total branding,” Seegal notes. “But the product itself, in order to have longevity, has to be the best. Whatever happens regarding a film or a CD, the brand has to stand on its own.”

Lopez agrees. “When you put the name J.Lo on a piece of clothing,” she says, “you have a lot of stuff that comes along with that. That wasn’t my choice. I fight it to this day. Because ultimately, it’s not about my name, it’s about the product.”

Indeed, from her point of view, the whole J.Lo thing has gotten way out of hand. “I was never like, ‘Call me J.Lo!”‘ Lopez insists. “I named the album J.Lo, but now I think I was crazy. When something sticks like that, you really just don’t quite understand it, and you want your name back. You’re like, ‘Please, call me Jennifer. I was fine with that for 20, 30 years.…’ ”

Besides, ”Jennifer” carries none of the baggage associated with “J.Lo,” which brings to mind the whole music-diva persona that has bedeviled Lopez for years. It’s a reputation her friends and colleagues say is unwarranted. “Sure, she likes her diamonds, and there’s that bling-bling side to her,” says Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas, who before becoming a partner at Revolution Films was Lopez’s agent at ICM. “But there’s also a side of her that’s very simple and caring and vulnerable.”

“I like dressing up and being glamorous,” Lopez says. “But for somebody like me, who really didn’t have that much, to have things is fun. It’s just really base and simple! I like looking nice. But I think people want to judge a book by its cover, and they just go, ‘Ugh, what a diva. Just look at her!'”

Notes Goldsmith-Thomas: “If being a diva is getting up at five in the morning, going to a movie set, leaving to go work on an album, then going home and doing the whole thing again, then fine. But I’ve never seen anybody work as hard as her. She worked for every opportunity she’s ever had. She wasn’t given anything.”

As a result, Lopez has an unshakable confidence in her own point of view. Goldsmith-Thomas was herself fired by Lopez after one too many disagreements (among other things, she argued strenuously against The Dress). But the two maintained a tight bond; Goldsmith-Thomas, who produced Maid in Manhattan, brought the film to her former client and still gets together with Lopez for the occasional TV night, including a recent “Mary Tyler Moore” marathon. “Jennifer will listen to other opinions,” she says, “but if you try to tell her the rules, she goes the opposite direction.”

As Lopez says matter-of-factly, “I always try to explain to everyone I’m in business with, the usual rules don’t apply to me. I’m just in a different thing, and I have to go with my gut on every specific little issue. I just make my own rules.” For the most part, the approach has worked marvelously. On the refrigerator in her trailer, Lopez has taped up a collection of supportive clippings sent by relatives over the past few difficult months. One, a newspaper horoscope for her sign, Leo, sums things up fairly well: “Your life is about to change for the better,” it reads. “You are now on the throne and will be able to rule all that you survey. Your patience has been tested, but it will be worth it in matters of love and career

#jennifer lopez #jlo #press/article #w magazine #2003

[ranboo5]

Dropping the Ranboo mixtape

Anyway at time of starting to write this post I had two likes and two affirmative replies, which is Good Enough For Me, so here I am :D I was gonna link the YT but on second thought my YT channel is a mess so this is gonna be one of the annoying ones that doesn’t link to one you can actually listen to but 

This is also a running list and currently organized roughly by increasingly hotter takes and it’s under a cut bc it’s 13 songs and I justified all of them 

Everybody Likes You (Lemon Demon) - LISTEN THE ANIMATION MEMES WEREN’T LYING THAT EVERYBODY LIKES YOU CAN RANBOOCORE. The increasingly distorted, incredibly bright repetition of EVERYBODY LIKES YOU EVERYBODY LIKES YOU EVERYBODY LIKES YOU until you can hear it morphing in and out of EVERYBODY LIED TO YOU? Tell Me That’s Not Him In The Spiral Depths 

Tall (Naps the Block on YT) - This is a) literally a theme for the End, b) sounds stumbling and anxious/high-strung, and c) echoes the Pigstep melody in the middle while still very much doing its own thing this is self explanatory 

Dance of Thorns/Old Secret mashup (Tensei and James Roach respectively, feat. woodfur00 on YT) (yes this is Homestuck music) - It’s just the vibes. The energy. The way the elegance of the violin lines of Dance of Thorns sounds almost nervous especially against the almost noir mystery vibes of Old Secret, and the guitar lines of Dance of Thorns add like. Initiative/urgency especially when they underlay the other music it’s so good I don’t think either song alone is Ranboo vibes but this remix definitely is. Just the mix of perseverance and desperation and melancholy and mystery and Class 

Touch-Tone Telephone (Lemon Demon) - This one is old news but tbh it just works. Man decides he’s the correct one in this situation and he’s losing his entire mind that no one is listening to him because he just is not 

2012 (Will Wood) - This one isn’t really clever it’s just about memory loss, derealization, identity, and often self-hatred (“A miserable fuck, but a loud Tao mystical” is a lot). “Did you lose yourself?/It’s always in the last place that you check” sounds so mocking in ways internal monologues like Droice have been and “I might find myself/By retracing my steps” is literally just Ranboo dealing with the Enderwalk; “And not until lobotomy abolished my monotony/Did I applaud autonomy, and modify a lot of me!” works so much for him Dealing With Himself generally, and also “I heard the world would turn to hell/Compared to that, I’m doing well!” is a Him sentiment 

Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In! (Will Wood) - Jokes about the three hour mining/grinding streams aside. Not only is the chorus so heavily a spiral/self-evaluation mood, but literally consider his thought processes abt the things he’s done/allegedly done and then consider “My dreams were shattered like a stained-glass window/Jesus in pieces! I believe I through a brick right through Him/But my memory could not be saved!/It just seems unlikely that it’s me who was to blame/So I bookmark my DSM, ‘cause I need to remember my place.” And now with the advent of the “experiments” the second verse’s “Take the road on higher ground, and tell me ‘don’t look down! You’ll fall and break your back’/But that just reminds me how there’s more to be found beneath the black!” is more relevant than ever 

Friends With You (The Scary Jokes) - Oh my god. Oh my fucking god man. This could be on here for “I put myself to bed just halfway through the party/I love all my friends, but I hate when their eyes are on me” alone but the general almost empty saccharine vibe of the song is immensely his vibe; the humorlessly-smiling vocal fry on “don’t know” in “Why do you pretend/You don’t know who’s to blame?” is probably responsible for 80% of this read. Not to mention the first lyrics are literally “How long do I have to wait/’Til my lonely days are over?” which is really the. The waiting it out man the So When Do I Get To Be Okay of it all. Shoutouts also to “And the crumbling infrastructure no one else can see,” the self hatred of “I miss being friends with you/But what can I do/What can I do/But leave you alone?” and to “And I can tell you really love me/Can you tell I’m really sorry?” Just. The mix of hope+affection and dejected cynicism and self-hatred in the lyrics

Saline Solution (none other than Mr Wilbur Soot) - Remember what I said about waiting it out until you get to be okay? Anyway that’s crystallized in “If I could just break one more night/Maybe I could wake up and feel alright” and also this is literally a song about catastrophizing and self-evaluation just,, in general and I will not be highlighting all the lyrics about this but I will highlight the fact that he literally calls himself pragmatic and also the lyric “blurring the facts and the fiction.” Also, the sheer desperate anger-concealing-breakdown vibes of “I think I’ve made my choice” to “I think I’ve found my voice” deserves a mention, as does the culminating end of “saline solution to all your problems” with the tears+now splash water motifs of it all with Ranboo I am going to die 

Funny (The Scary Jokes) - This is actually a softer take but not only does it literally start with the singer pleading with the addressee to look away, it  continues with “I went up in the middle of the night and I climbed right onto the stage/And I raged/And I cried/Oh, what a funny joke am I” disregarding everything as performance, reemphasizes the opening demand with the qualifier “it’s not that I hate you, it’s just that I’m funny these days,” and then kills you with the last couple lines which. Yeah he does care and it does,,, just,,,,, a

Chemical Overreaction (Will Wood) - This is where the mood VIOLENTLY whiplashes because this is where we get unhinged. Anyway “I won’t stop to drop to draw a line in the sand/’Cause I’ll be picked apart to pieces by coyotes!” is LITERALLY the whole “I don’t do well with ‘peer pressure’” thing. “Where the sentimental value of the city around ya/Is deleted obsolete, but still completely will stun ya” is the single most L’Manberg lyric I’ve ever heard, especially from the perspective of a character whom I will repeatedly insist is narratively in the role of someone who’s shown up and seen the status quo as an outsider after it’s been established (hence the eternal New Kid vibes). Chorus very much has vibes of Ranboo Is Seized By The Urge To Do Something, and like. The entire dramatic end part. The last two lines especially (be very careful if you look up the vieo for this by the way it is NOT pretty; cws in the video for flashing, blood, suicide imagery) 

A Mannequin Adrift (The Scary Jokes) - The Bitterness. This song is just fully The Bitterness at the environment he’s stuck in; the saccharine comes back as does the “peer pressure” thematic and just the Having An Awful Time; the sarcastic saccharine comes back too, which is always good I love passive aggression. Honestly the first verse is just everything like just listen to it it immediately makes sense

Poison Ivy Grows (The Scary Jokes) - This is overall a song about having bad brain and not knowing what the hell to do about it; it’s so faintly bitter and distant and melancholy and also so zoned out. Also, it’s not the only lyric that matters here but it is enough to be a full argument on its own: “I used to spend so much time/Wandering around outside/Now I’ve got too much on my mind/Now I’ve got too much on my mind” 

Spring Haze (Tori Amos) - Listen. Do I know what Spring Haze is about? No. Is that gonna stop me from saying it’s about Ranboo? Also no. I just think “You say we’ll never make it there/So all we do is circle it” is so much, the fact that the bridge at the end is just “Why does it always end up like this?” repeated, and that it just feels so much like overall the song feels like a desperate attempt to figure Something out, and the chorus is just inexplicably him? It might be partially influenced by the fact that “Uh-oh, let go, off on my way” and, to a lesser extent, “Uh-oh, way to go” is not only in accordance with character vibes but also vaguely evocative of Ranboo’s speech pattern

#this also has a couple songs pending addition #this post is just That Enderman Is Deeply Troubled. Listen To Scary Jokes

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Forest National in Brussels, Belgium - August 24, 1984

Some parts of the Hammer To Fall promo video were filmed during this show - the camera was filming the audience reactions during TYMD, Radio Ga Ga and Hammer To Fall. On the next day 20 fans from the Dutch fan club were invited to come again to the filming of the promo video.

At the gig, the band asked the audience to return the following day for the shoot. However, most likely assuming it was all a joke, the vast majority stayed away; in fact only a dozen fans turned up. Undeterred, the shoot went ahead anyway, with the band's performance that day interspersed with footage shot the previous night.

(x)

This is the first show of The Works tour.

According to the July '89 issue of Record Collector, Queen ran through about 40 songs during rehearsals. This list of songs rehearsed that didn't end up in the setlist comes from someone who worked on the tour:

Great King Rat (longer version), Brighton Rock (full song), I'm In Love With My Car, Sweet Lady, White Man, We Will Rock You (fast), Play The Game, Need Your Loving Tonight, Put Out The Fire, Las Palabras de Amor, Life Is Real (both Freddie solo piano and Freddie/Brian acoustic duet versions)

The keyboardist for this tour (and also the '86 Magic tour) is session musician Spike Edney. He would also lend some vocals to many songs and play rhythm guitar in Hammer To Fall. He and Roger Taylor would form a band called "The Cross" in 1987 which spawned three albums, and he would return to Queen in the 21st century to play on the tours with Paul Rodgers and Adam Lambert.

Spike was recruited in a very informal way by a Queen associate. He went to Munich for their first rehearsal in early August, wound up partying for most of the first night, and missed the first day's rehearsal. It later transpired that everyone else had. He recalls, "The next day, we all managed to get to it eventually, to the first rehearsal, and all the gear was set up. The stage was huge, and I thought "Oh well, here we go then" and we got to the first song , and what I'd forgotten was that they hadn't actually played together for two years. So they said, OK, let's try one of the new songs, I think it was Radio Ga Ga, and we started playing it, and course, I knew it, I'd been studying it for weeks. You know, 1,2,3,4 and we start and we get about a minute into the song and the whole thing collapses. And they all look at each other, you know, very sheepishly, and they say, "Anyone know how it goes?" and I say "well, actually, I know. I know how it goes" and they said "Ah". And so I started showing them the chords and everything and Fred looked at me and said "You don't know the words, do you?" and "Well, yeah I do actually" so then they all came round the piano and we spent the whole day just going through songs, and I thought, "I'm gonna be all right here, this'll be OK"!"

The show started very late, as the band were still doing soundcheck when they were supposed to go on. Apparently over the previous week there were few occasions when all four band members actually showed up for rehearsal. Many songs (likely those listed above) never made the setlist, and soundcheck was an extensive cramming session, particularly for the older material that they hadn't played in years.

Roger Taylor later reflected that this European tour was one of his favourites, and many fans cite the early Works setlist as their favourite ever played by the band. Three medleys are now played, two of which have revived many old songs: Killer Queen, Seven Seas Of Rhye, Keep Yourself Alive, Liar, Stone Cold Crazy and Great King Rat. Staying Power from Hot Space returns to the set, as does Sheer Heart Attack from News Of The World. Only half of Staying Power is played, and it runs into Dragon Attack, followed by an improvisation running into a more compact version of Now I'm Here compared to previous tours.

Many people who attended shows on this tour recall Queen having a very heavy sound, especially on songs like Liar and Stone Cold Crazy. By 1984 they had gained a reputation as being one of the best live rock acts in the business.

Six songs from The Works are performed each night, and the introduction tape is from the album track "Machines". After the heavy G chords are heard on the tape twice, the band walk on stage in the darkness to play the chords the third time, which leads into the brand new "Tear It Up". This is yet another effective opening to a Queen show, something they would perfect time and time again.

I Want To Break Free is performed each night in 1984-85 as the first encore, with Freddie coming on stage sporting a pair of huge plastic breasts under a pink shirt. Part way through the song, he would remove the breasts and twirl them around for a while before finally throwing them into the audience. Some souvenir! As a result of this gag, Another One Bites The Dust has been moved from the encore to be earlier in the set.

This tour showcases an incredible lighting rig and an overall setup mimics the movie Metropolis, from which scenes were used for the promo video of Radio Ga Ga last year. The huge wheels behind the stage (modelled after the ones on The Works album cover) rotate at mostly random times - usually because they are turned manually by various crew members such as Roger's tech Chris "Crystal" Taylor whenever they have a free moment (Freddie Mercury's assistant Peter Freestone told the tale in 2021):

“Yeah, I mean Rio was… amazing. The feeling from that crowd… you know, something like 350,000 people. Oh, you can’t beat that. And when you’re flying in a helicopter over that crowd, it was stunning. But the thing is, I know this sounds really, really stupid but [laughs]… one thing I will always, always remember from that tour was, remember, in the back of the stage you had these wheels that turned every now and then, not constantly but just every now and then. That was because there was… the guy looking after Roger’s drums and me who actually turned those wheels. And there was no set cue or anything that, “Oh, it has to start on this bar, on this song.” No, it was when he wasn’t doing anything and I wasn’t doing anything, we’d say “Ok, let’s go and do it.” And we turned the wheels for a couple of minutes and then left them alone. He had then to do something for Roger and I would just sit there like I always did. And then you’d go back and you’d turn the wheels, like a hamster. We were like hamsters…”

However, a crew member who worked on the tour recalls otherwise: "I do know local crew members were used on the UK shows and certainly (a number of) European gigs. The other thing is that Radio Ga Ga had a set piece with the cogs and lighting, using low ambient lighting and strobes to emphasise mechanical motion of the cogs during the instrumental break. Would Roger Taylor be happy with no one covering him/his kit during a show? Possibly Peter Freestone is remembering production rehearsals when any spare bodies might have been asked to operate the cogs?"

During vocal improvisations on this tour, Freddie would often include bits of "Foolin' Around" and "Living On My Own" from his pending first solo album, which he had been working on during this period.

Freddie now plays a Telecaster for Crazy Little Thing Called Love. It would remain like this through the Magic tour.

The band no longer bring a gong with them on the road. Roger now does a cymbal roll at the end of Bohemian Rhapsody.

A fan recalls hearing the band running through Tear It Up whilst queuing up to enter the venue.

Freddie's voice is in superb shape for this show, but it will quickly weaken as the tour progresses. As incredible as Freddie Mercury was, he certainly did not take care of his voice at times, especially in the mid-80s. After a couple years of heavy smoking, Freddie's voice now sounds a lot deeper and raspier overall.

Before It's A Hard Life, Freddie says, "I think tonight we're gonna do songs from just about every album that we've ever made. You heard some very early stuff from the first album. Right now I think we're gonna do something very new, and we'll see what you think of it."

Freddie does a vocal exchange with the audience before Staying Power, singing "Get Down Make Love" and "Gimme Some Lovin" a few times. The band would improvise bits of the latter a couple times in 1986.

This is the only show on the entire Works tour where Roger plays regular acoustic drums on Another One Bites The Dust (before which Freddie teases the audience with a bit of Mustapha). For the rest of the tour, he'd play electronic drums. He'd also integrate the electronic drum kit into a few other songs, like at the beginning of Hammer To Fall, where one might argue that his sounds don't appropriately complement the guitar to create the intense, heavy sound.

The band sound very tight on this opening night of the tour, with the only exception being the rough transition from Stone Cold Crazy to Great King Rat. The keyboard and guitar solos are integrated together for the first few shows of the tour, during which Brian plays a few bits from Machines. Spike Edney uses his vocoder (a Roland VP-330) for the "machines" and "back to humans" lines heard throughout the tour during this spot (he would use his vocoder for the "radio" lines in Radio Ga Ga as well). After this segment, Brian then gets a few minutes to play on his own as usual.

Parts of the promo video for Hammer To Fall were filmed during this show. Claims from some (even official) sources state that Freddie invited the audience back for (what would actually be "additional") filming the following day aren't true. Here is all that Freddie had to say before the song: "This next song we're gonna use in our next video. So everybody just go mad and maybe later you'll see one of you guys inside the video one day. Oh, just go crazy, take your clothes off. It's called Hammer To Fall." After the song, he simply says, "Good night, you guys!" as that was the last song of the set.

Here is a fan's recollection: "On the night of the gig, there was a camera mounted on an arm that would swing over the front rows of the audience during a few songs. These audience shots were taken during Tie Your Mother Down, Radio Ga Ga, and Hammer To Fall itself. I guess they also had a camera up in the box at the back of the hall [as there are a few shots of both the audience and the band]. I don't remember any cameras onstage during the gig - just the one mounted on the arm."

The Dutch fan club invited only about twenty of its members to attend the video shoot the next day. They were instructed by a roadie to sit quietly on a chair and not to move or approach the band members. After a few hours, Brian came over and had a chat with them, checking to see if they were enjoying themselves and if they were hungry. He then promptly ordered them some take-out!

A minute of Tie Your Mother Down from this show was later broadcast on the Belgian TV station "RTBF" (x) (x). An audience-shot video allegedly exists as well, containing five songs.

After years of speculation, the existence of more footage from this show was proven when bits of it were included in the promo video for Let Me In Your Heart Again in 2014. About 30 seconds of Somebody To Love (largely crowd shots) were seen. There is, however, no accompanying audio. (x)

The first photo is from the autumn 1984 Queen fan club magazine. Brian is seen with a watchful eye over the proceedings. Tour manager Gerry Stickells and his wife are also in the shot.

Pics 2 through 6 were submitted by Alessio Rizzitelli, and the seventh pic was taken by Dave Matkin.

(x)

#queen #queen band #roger taylor #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #queen concerts

[brian-in-finance]

Kenneth Branagh’s semi-autobiographical film “Belfast” is opening in theaters this week and has already attracted an immense amount of Oscar buzz, currently sitting as the frontrunner for best picture, director and several other categories. With honors and audience awards from various festivals, the Focus Features black-and-white drama has the famed filmmaker on a path to make Oscar history.

For “Belfast,” Branagh serves as one of the producers (along with Laura Berwick, Becca Kovacik and Tamar Thomas), which makes him eligible to be nominated for best picture, along with director and original screenplay. He’s received five nominations during his career, all across different categories – director, actor, supporting actor (“My Week with Marilyn”), adapted screenplay (“Hamlet”) and live action short (“Swan Song”).

Pending any unforeseen catastrophe, Branagh is on track to add two new categories to his arsenal (picture and original screenplay). This possibility could set a couple of records for the Ireland native. First, he would tie George Clooney, Alfonso Cuarón and Walt Disney as the only ones to be nominated in six different categories, if he picks up one of the two. Second, capturing both would make Branagh the first person in Oscar history to pick up noms in seven individual categories, surpassing all of them.

In addition, Branagh would join the company of Clooney and Warren Beatty as the only people to have received noms in every eligible major category — picture, director, lead or supporting acting and either screenplay.

It should be noted that this record comes with technicalities and asterisks as you factor in Walt Disney who, during his 59-nomination career run, garnered nominations and wins for some projects he didn’t personally produce. In the case of Cuarón, when “Roma” won international feature, the country (in this case Mexico) is the official Oscar nominee in the record books.

Branagh has been a respected actor and director for over three decades. After getting his start with more minor roles in “A Month in the Century” (1987) and “High Season” (1987), and an uncredited role as a Cambridge student in the best picture winner “Chariots of Fire” (1981), he took on the words of William Shakespeare for his directorial debut “Henry V” (1989), which he also adapted and starred in playing the titular role. Garnering universal acclaim, the film has long been beloved within the Shakespeare adaptation canon. The film won an Academy Award for costume design (Phyllis Dalton), with Branagh nominated for directing and acting. There have only been ten instances of a person being nominated for both acting as the lead in and directing the same feature film.

Branagh’s not the only filmmaker playing triple duty as a producer, director and screenwriter in heavy contention for Oscar glory this year. Current major contenders include Pedro Almodóvar (“Parallel Mothers“), Jane Campion (“The Power of the Dog“), Joel Coen (“The Tragedy of Macbeth“), Asghar Farhadi (“A Hero“), Maggie Gyllenhaal (“The Lost Daughter”), Rebecca Hall (“Passing”), Adam McKay (“Don’t Look Up”), Jeymes Samuel (“The Harder They Fall”) and Denis Villeneuve (“Dune”).

In 93 years of Oscar ceremonies, only eight people have pulled off the “hat trick” of winning picture, director and screenplay in a single year:

Leo McCarey, “Going My Way” (1944)

Billy Wilder, “The Apartment” (1960)

Francis Ford Coppola, “The Godfather Part II” (1974)

James L. Brooks, “Terms of Endearment” (1983)

Peter Jackson, “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” (2003)

Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, “No Country for Old Men” (2007)

Alejandro G. Iñárritu, “Birdman” (2014)

Bong Joon-ho, “Parasite” (2019)

Can Branagh join the elite list?

Far from the season being locked for any contender, various factors can tilt an awards season in any direction. Support for the film will be dependent on actors, the largest branch of the Academy. Five cast members are seeking recognition, with young Jude Hill facing the most significant hurdle in a stacked best actor field. Jamie Dornan and Ciarán Hinds hope the trend for double-dipping for supporting men continues (as three of the last four years have shown). Caitríona Balfe and Oscar-winner Judi Dench (“Shakespeare in Love”) are competing in the most competitive of the four acting races. If all four supporting roles are nominated, it would be just the third film in Academy history to receive an acting “double-double” – following “Peyton Place” (1957) and “The Last Picture Show” (1971). The latter won two acting prizes for Ben Johnson and Cloris Leachman.

We’re just waiting to see how it all shakes out. You can listen to the “Variety Awards Circuit Podcast” episodes with Balfe and Dornan.

Remember… Branagh would join the company of Clooney and Warren Beatty as the only people to have received noms in every eligible major category — picture, director, lead or supporting acting and either screenplay. — Variety

#Tait rhymes with hat #Good times #BelfastMovie #Variety #8 November 2021 #Belfast #In cinemas 12 November 2021 #Canada & USA #In cinemas 21 January 2022 UK & Ireland #Worldwide 2022 #Twitter

[btsxmalereaders]

Hey! Can I request Yoongi x Male Reader where they have been dating for four years and Yoongi finally proposes one night. Romantic and maybe a little bit NSFW. reader is BOTTOM.

Ok, first of all I am sooo soRRY it took me so long to write this hshsj. And sorry too for not making it nsfw, I just wasn't in the mood for writing it. However I hope you still enjoy it!

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Male Reader

Fluff

Word count: 1,6 k

"This has to be ready by 5 p.m, okay? I entrust this to you, Sunny."

The girl smiles at you and nods, taking the documents you've left on her desk, and is encouraged to speak. "You don't have to worry, Y/ N. If we have problems with this, leave it to me for today."

You let out a sigh that you didn't know you were holding. "Thank you very much."

Sunny nods before flipping through the papers and going to her computer to start working on her part of the new project. Now you head to your own cubicle to finish all to-do tasks as possible.

You were a little more stressed than before because your boss asked you to carry out a new project for the company where you work, and of course you could not refuse, despite the fact that it was heavy and took a lot of your time in recent weeks. You had to put aside many activities that you had planned, appointments, visits to the recording set that your friends had previously invited you to, and you even missed your 4th anniversary with Yoongi.

Of course he understood, in addition to that he also took advantage of that time to finish composing a couple of songs that had to be ready in that same week, but you hadn't had the opportunity to celebrate, until now.

You really want to finish all the pending tasks to go out on your date with Yoongi and have a nice time together, in addition to the fact that this weekend he is free of activities, which does not happen often, so you wanted to make sure that you won't have to return to work for the next two days, at least. Maybe that's why you feel a little distressed today, but remembering that in a few hours you will have a date makes the spirit come back and impel you to continue with your work today. Fortunately, the work team assigned to you is very fast and efficient in projects, so things are looking a little easier for now.

The rest of the day goes pretty fast; and even though there were some difficulties with some assignments, you were capable of solving all the unforseen problems, something that your boss took note of and encouraged you to keep it up like that.

As the clock striked 6 p.m. you saved your progress and sent it to your boss as a report for today's activities and prepared to go back home. Everyone knew that was the end of your shift, so no one could distract you or ask for more stuff related to work. You made sure everything was in order and as you went back to Sunny's cubicle, she gave you a thumbs up to indicate that you were free to go and enjoy your weekend.

With a smile on your face and a relief making you feel less tense, you say goodbye to your work teammates and rushed out of the building to go to your car. That's when you could finally open your messages and see a few more from Yoongi, where he asked if you could go to his studio once you finished working.

With a frown you reply that there's no problem at all, thinking that maybe he has something to show you or maybe he is late from working on his songs and wanted to take you to the restaurant so you wouldn't wait too much for him.

The way to the Big Hit building is not so far from your workplace, and sometimes Yoongi took advantage of that when he finished his work early than expected. He went to visit you and grab lunch together, or sometimes when you were extremely busy and couldn't take so much free time, he left you food with cheesy and cheering messages on sticky notes.

Once you get to the building, the receptionist greets you with a smile since everyone from the staff already knows you. Yoongi's studio is on the fifth floor, so you head to the elevator, and see Hoseok and Jimin, who are also going up, to their dance practice.

“Hyung! How have you been? We haven't seen you in awhile.” Jimin greets with a smile and Hoseok goes for a high-five.

You three have a short conversation about your work and how are they gave you news about the comeback they've been preparing the last few weeks until they arrive at their floor and go to the practice room.

“I'll see you around, guys” You say goodbye as they wave their hands and the elevator doors are closed. Just two floors more and you can finally walk down the hall until you see Yoongi's studio door. You decide to knock a few times but get no response from him, so you guess he must be using his earphones. He has told you the password, so you put it on the small keyboard and the door opens; Yoongi is right there when you enter.

“I was about to open the door for you,” He chuckles and closes the door once you totally step inside. A kiss on your lips as a greeting is what you get, making you feel on cloud nine. “How was work?”

You frown a bit noticing that he doesn't move from his spot. “Great. Kind of stressful but I could finish on time, so I'm free all weekend. How does that sound, hmm?”

Yoongi smiles and hugs you tight.

“Is everything alright?”

“Everything is perfect” He answers as he places his hands on your hips and separates to look at you in the eyes. “I want to show you something here.”

You don't ask what is he talking about because he immediately takes your hand and guides you inside. The black walls of the small hall doesn't allow you to see anything rather than some lights, but as soon as you both step into the room you frown, seeing that the recording studio's windows are covered, so you can't see through.

Yoongi sits down in front of his computer and saves the progress of what he was working on today, so that makes you feel more confused.

“Why is the window covered? Did you guys filmed something inside?”

“No, I put it there for something I want to do, but wait a minute, I'll show you and you have to give me your honest opinion.”

“Uh, mysterious, I like how that sounds.”

Yoongi laughs, “You don't even know what is it. How do you know you won't hate it?”

“I know for sure I won't, now show me! You know I am impatient.”

“I have the stubbornest boyfriend on earth.” Yoongi pinches your cheek as he stands up and walks to the door. “You have to close your eyes first.”

“Fine, fine,” You do as indicated and walk behind him, your hands over his shoulders so he can guide you again. You wait for a few seconds until he closes the door.

“Don't open them yet!” He walks past you and you can hear him moving around and grabbing things. The sweet smell of jazmine and lavender get to your nostrils.

“What are you doing? Can I open my eyes now?”

He remains silent for a few seconds more, fixing his hair and clothes and taking a look at what he did one last time. “Okay, you can open them now.”

You swear you could faint right there and right now as you see that Yoongi set what it seemed like a dinner for you two. On the floor there were some petals, pillows and sheets around a basket, and next to it there was a black piano with some candles above it, setting the perfect tone for a romantic dinner.

“Oh my god, Yoongi, wh-”

“I really wanted to celebrate our anniversary on a special place, I thought that restaurants are not fun anymore.” He smiles and offers you your hand, so you walk to him and hug.

“Yoonie, this is so beautiful, you did this on your own?”

“Yeah, well, the boys helped too.”

You can't help but chuckle, “I love it so much. Thank you for this.”

“Anything for my baby.” Yoongi kisses the tip of your nose and separates from you, signaling you to take a seat.

The night goes so good; you both eat the food Yoongi made (and that Seokjin helped preparing, as well). Drank a couple of glasses of wine, shared some memories of when you started dating; also the things you wanted to do in the future, the things you both wanted to achieve together, so that made Yoongi fondly smile.

Yoongi had a whole speech ready when you finished eating, right when you started talking about the future, but when he sees the smile on your face, he simply says: “Marry me.”

You nearly let the glass of wine fall to the floor. “W-what?”

He blushes and takes his time to stand up and take the small black velvet box he had the entire time hidden above the piano and walks to be closer to you, taking a sit right in front of where you are. He opens the box and repeats himself: “Marry me.”

You can't really process what is happening now, but the sincere smile on Yoongi's face, his reddened cheeks and his eyes shining for the love for you makes things clear.

“Of course I'll marry you, Yoon” You say with a smile and your heart beating so fast. Yoongi takes your glass and places it on the floor so he can finally put that ring on your finger. Your hands are slightly shaking so that makes him laugh, but when the ring is finally on its place, the smile on his face seems to never disappear. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The rest of the night is full of kisses, hugs and a slow dance. Later there will be time for Yoongi to show you the song he composed for you.

------------

Rules.

#bts x male reader #yoongi #min yoongi #min yoongi x male reader #yoongi x male reader #kpop x male reader #kpop x reader #bts x you #suga #suga x reader

[callmeelle22]

Blue Dream III

Pairing: Iris West x Barry Alen

Rating: E

Chapter Word Count: 4, 559

Summary: A series of sporadic dates between Iris and Barry turn into something more, a story in its own making.

Chapter I: Primetime

Chapter II: It's Cool

Chapter III: Anything; It would make sense, she supposes, if looking at her also feels like this for him, like her heart beats in time with every breath he takes and like time slows or stalls or...like every minute here is infinitely longer and in these moments… in these moments, she thinks that the world must somehow tilt on its axis because she feels...i feel you comin' down like honey, do do you even know i'm alive?, do do you even know i, i... she feels… (Read below or on the AO3 link on the chapter title.)

Chapter IV: Comfortable

Chapter V: The Way

Chapter VI: Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

Chapter VII: I'm in Love with You

Chapter VIII: Blue Dream

Anything

Maybe I should kill my inhibition

Maybe I'll be perfect in a new dimension

On the Saturday the week after Barry’s impromptu visit, Iris finds herself down on Main Street about half an hour after 10 in the morning. Nearly the entire 8 blocks of the street are sectioned off, with a plethora of white tents set up on both sides of the street. She glances on as she makes her way down the sidewalk, as people set up books and jewelry and clothes; beer and wine and harder liquor; food and sweets and other treats.

It’s the setup for Central City’s Fall Fest, one of a multitude of fests in the city that Iris calls home. It’ll be open to the public in a few hours and, like usual, Iris will make her way up and down the blocks a few times, holding a beer in one hand and something fried on a stick in the other, a couple of bags filled with things she doesn’t need in the crook of her elbow.

Now, though, she steps into the alley that leads to the side door of Golden’s, an Asian and American fusion restaurant and bar owned by the parents of her best friend, Linda Park. She gives a heavy-handed couple of knocks and only moments later, Linda opens the door to let her in.

Iris first met the other women when they were in the 7th grade. Iris’s parents had divorced several months prior to a new school year and for reasons not then known to Iris, her dad had gotten full custody of her and six-year-old Wally. They’d moved into a new house on the other side of town and that had meant a new school for her. Linda had sat beside her in their homeroom/advisory class and the girl with beige skin and long dark brown hair was constantly scribbling something in a notebook. Iris had discovered that they’d been stories, usually with families as the starring characters. By then, Iris had begun to write in her own notebook—musings and wonderings about the neighbors she’d just met, about what it meant to be the oldest child of divorced parents. They’d bonded over their writing; well, that and being two of only a handful of girls at the school with skin darker than the pale and spray-tanned skin of their classmates.

For over a decade, it’s been Iris and Linda. Through the messy stages of puberty and their even messier interactions with high school boys; through late-night study binges and even worse interactions with college boys. Through the drug addiction that took Iris’s mom and the car crash that had put Linda’s older brother on life support until he’d succumbed to his own injuries, they’ve navigated it all together.

Now, life gets in the way. Linda, almost immediately after undergrad graduation, had begun shopping around a number of short stories and personal essays she had written until, finally, a publisher had bit and opted to publish them as an anthology. A few years and too many nights spent locked in a room later and Linda’s book is a New York Times bestseller. Iris’s own success story is pending. In addition to completing her graduate degree (which, at 26, she’d started late, after taking some time off and working at a local newspaper), she runs a blog, one she’d started by accident. Her middle school musings had become pointed interviews and, with the classes she’d taken in college, had gotten the necessary skills to begin writing up her own human interest stories. It’s amazing, she’s learned, what people will tell you when they can hide behind the face of someone else. What a Life You’ve Lived is growing in popularity, making some money too, and it’s starting to become more than just a hobby for Iris.

Neither Iris nor Linda is ever truly free; but in a concentrated effort to make time, they brunch at least twice a month. This morning, it’s at Golden’s (where Linda is working as a bartender while she writes her next book) because her parents want them to try out new menu items. When the door shuts behind them, Linda turns and gives Iris a hug, wrapping her arms around her neck. Iris returns it, smiling into her hair, her familiar lavender scent a warm comfort she didn’t know she needed.

“I’ve missed your beautiful face,” Linda says, squeezing her hard once before letting her go.

“Yeah?” Iris asks, mouth lifting in a smirk. “Is it because you’re tired of looking at Daniel’s beautiful face?”

Linda rolls her eyes. “Never, though I’d rather put my eye out before I tell him that.”

Linda has been dating her boyfriend Daniel Ngyuen, nerdy engineer and man ridiculously head over heels for her, for a few months, after they met at a book signing hosted by Linda’s parents.

“You’re ridiculous,” Iris tells her, and Linda preens in response.

Something in Iris tightens, a faint film of green clouding her view for all of a millisecond. She’s ashamed she even had the thought, that she feels anything but happiness at the light in her friend’s chocolate brown eyes or the glow in her cheeks. She’s not jealous of Linda, of course she’s not. But Iris can’t help but find some envy at the feeling of contentment that so obviously surrounds her friend and the juxtaposition of her own drifting existence.

It’s almost tangible, these differences, at least to her. Iris can see the confidence practically emanating from Linda’s dress-clad form, the long-sleeved maxi dress and tall sandals, her wavy shoulder-length hair, making her look a little like a goddess. But Iris imagines that’s what it must look like, to be at the start of a career you’ve always wanted, to have the love of a man you’re secure in, to just...know your place, your purpose.

And maybe Iris is being dramatic. She supposes she looks as put together as she’s always thought she needed to be in her light denim jeans, pale pink cropped sweater, and tan block-heeled sandals. She’s been wearing her natural hair out this week and the wavy curls are piled up in an artfully messy bun. Still, even if Iris can’t touch on why she feels so scattered, like all of the pieces that make up the whole of her are floating aimlessly around her body, she cannot deny that the feeling is there, taking up space in her head like the songs she latches on to keep focused, maybe I should pray a little harder, or work a little smarter.

They walk through the restaurant, bustling with the waitstaff preparing for the 11 am opening. Golden’s isn’t an overly large place, only able to fit about 50 people at a time, but Iris thinks it’s a part of the charm. It’s decorated in dark brown wood and bright white and gold light fixtures; the tables and booths are spread out in a way that allows for privacy, making customers feel as if they’re in their own little worlds.

Linda leads them to their usual table, one actually tucked into a little alcove where only the Parks and their guests are allowed to sit. At the table, there’s already a carafe of juice too close to red-pink to be orange juice, along with a bottle of champagne. Outside of the wine and marijuana Friday nights and the occasional party or club, Iris only really indulges in alcohol when she and Linda have these brunches. They slide into the booth and Linda immediately reaches for the champagne.

Over the next couple of hours, Iris is reminded of why, regardless of her own issues, she loves his woman. They laugh, sharing stories of Iris’s students and the customers who come into Golden’s. They get on each other’s nerves, making jokes and ribbing the other any chance they get. At one point, Linda’s parents come out, her honey-skinned Chinese mother Xuan and her dad Theo, Chinese and white with skin like baked sugar cookies, and Iris blinks adoringly up at the both of them, always lost in their beauty—both tall and elegant with ridiculous cheekbones.

“It’s sickening,” Linda mutters as she watches Iris watch them walk away, “how you look at them.”

“I’ve had a crush on your parents for as long as I’ve known them,” Iris replies. “If they ever want a thre-”

“Don’t you finish that fucking statement,” Linda gripes and Iris howls in laughter until Linda points out the attractiveness of Iris’s own father. “You know I’d always hop on the chance to be your stepmom.��

“And I’d happily sabotage your wedding day.”

“But it’d be worth it when I got to climb on top of Daddy West during the honeymoon.”

Iris throws a strawberry at her.

She hears him before she sees him. She’s been at Fall Fest for only about twenty minutes after leaving Golden’s, full and tipsy, walking through the steadily filling streets. Of all of the festivals in Central City, of which there are several (seasonal fests like the Fall and Spring fests; food fests like the Food Truck and Italian Food fests; cultural fests like the Juneteenth and Hispanic Heritage fests), the Fall Fest is one of her favorites. It’s during the best time of the year, when the sun is still blazing but the wind cuts through the heat. When the leaves have begun to drift off trees and dance onto the ground, changing into the shades of yellow and orange and red that only nature can paint. When the booths run the gamut in what they sell, from cooked and packaged foodstuffs, to clothes and jewelry, to dance or golf lessons. It’s the one festival, besides the Pan-African Celebration, that their entire family would attend, even for a few years after the divorce. Her parents would take off work and put aside their differences to spend time together--until Wally had felt too old and her dad had needed too many more work hours and her mom had gotten too lost; and then Iris had started coming with Linda and then, this year, alone.

But she doesn’t dwell—she tries not to dwell these days—and besides, she’s just heard him.

He doesn’t sound any different in the light of the day. In her head, she keeps hearing him as he is in the throes of passion, when his voice is more of a throaty curse, when it’s a rumble against her heated flesh. Here, out here with children screaming from their blocked-off sections and ladies laughing as they smell through candle selections and men arguing from the faux sports bars set up at random tents, he should sound like anyone else. He shouldn’t even be heard over the music coming from the speakers they can’t see—down for the ride, down for the ride; you could take me anywhere; do do do down for the ride, down for the ride; you could take me anywhere; i hope you will, I hope you will, I hope you will—or the sheer noise that’s true for events like this. But he is.

She looks up, ignoring the woman still trying to convince her to buy a bottle or three of perfume, and she sees him, right at the booth beside hers. He’s with two other men, one shorter with light brown skin and dark brown eyes and black hair pulled back in a ponytail; the other only a bit taller than the friend, with skin darker than Iris’s, glasses, and a short afro. Iris vaguely thinks that the three of them together are some sort of setup for a bar joke. They’re dressed similarly, in pants and t-shirts, though Iris’s eyes catch onto Barry’s hunter green chinos and white shirt, the beige pocket square matching his desert boots. All three of them have relatively full beers in their hands and Iris is looking at the cup in Barry’s hand (or rather, his fingers wrapped around the cup) for about three seconds before it jerks, beer spilling out. She looks up to find he’s looking back at her too, muttering “Iris,” in surprise.

She watches her hand and smiles back at him, a bit awkwardly, stepping away from the booth where the woman has already moved on to a new customer.

“Hi Barry,” she responds, walking over to them. She spares a glance at the other two, the Black man looking at her curiously, the Latino man a bit more humorously. “Fancy seeing you here.”

It’s not her smoothest line, but Iris thinks she might be in shock. When he’d left her, again, before she woke up on Saturday morning, she’d found his number written in tiny handwriting on the notepad on her desk, the unimaginative “call me” scribbled beneath it. She hadn’t. She’d thought about; oh had she.

On Monday, she’d debated calling him up to grab a coffee during her break. On Wednesday, she’d gotten an email about a new story and she’d wondered, for a moment, what he might think about it. But then she’d thought of his sweet mouth telling her “I wanted to know if it was as good as my memory,” and she had decided that he likely wouldn’t care about her days.

Now, he gives her a thorough once-over, probably remembering, and Iris feels a flush of heat run through her that she knows has very little to do with the warm late September sun.

“Iris,” he says again, his voice a touch higher than normal. His companions look at each other, eyebrows raised.

“Iris,” the long-haired one repeats, laughter coloring his tone. “I’m Cisco.”

“And I’m Chester,” says the one with dark skin, and they both stand there looking at her, grinning like loons until Barry cuts in.

“Alright, stop being weird.”

They don’t. Barry rolls his eyes and pushes past them to stand in front of her. Even with the heels she’s wearing, she has to stretch her neck a little to look up at him.

“Hey,” he says, this time lower, a soft breeze on her skin.

“Hi,” she repeats, just as softly.

The sounds of the carnival don’t disappear so much as they become muted, such as if she were submerged in water or if there was a rushing in her ears, because everything becomes background noise save for the concentrated sound of his voice.

“You didn’t call,” he says to her.

“I—” she starts, but she’s got nothing to say, not anything that won’t make her sound needy or desperate.

“Hey Barry,” Cisco calls.

“Yeah?” Barry answers, but he doesn’t turn away from her. No, he’s looking at her still, assessing her almost. He’s trying to figure something out, she decides, or at least that’s how it seems, what with the way he stares so intently, blue-green eyes pouring into her, bringing up images of them staring up at her from between her thighs, bringing out impressions that feel like more than lust, like more than just two people who’ve only ever bared their bodies to each other.

“We’re gonna go to another tent,” Chester says. “Catch up with you later.”

“Alright,” is the reply, those eyes glittering like the sea in the afternoon sun, still fixed on her. There’s a slight frown to his mouth, and when he speaks again, she can’t tell if he’s reached his conclusion or not.

“Walk with me?”

She nods before she even thinks about it. “Sure.”

They start back down the path. The booths are in abundance this year; it’s a bigger festival than she’s seen before. For a while, they don’t talk. They walk side by side, arms brushing every so often, stopping at booths that catch their attention. For him is a booth with a variety of multi-piece puzzles, some featuring landscapes and gardens, others of the solar system or space. For her, it’s one selling notebooks, beautiful leather-bound journals. She stops, enthralled, picking up one in coral-colored leather with rose-gold edging.

“We can also engrave the name,” the sun-tanned woman with pale blonde hair behind the tent says. “Or you can order custom colors.”

Iris nods, murmurs, “these are really nice,” and continues flipping through the heavy cream paper in the coral notebook. These days, much of her writing gets done on her overused Macbook; it’s just easier that way. But when she writes, for herself—little anecdotes about her day, her feelings spelled out in poetry—she does so in notebooks like these.

“You’re a writer,” Barry wonders and it’s a statement as much as it’s a question.

“Yeah.” She looks up at him and nods. “I’m actually getting my master’s in journalism.”

She puts the journal down once she notes the $40 price tag and thanks the woman as they walk off, Iris looking back at the notebook with longing.

“I also run a blog,” she tells him, and the words tumbling out of her mouth are a shock.

“Really?” he looks at her in surprise. “What’s the site? Is it popular?”

It’s not like she’s embarrassed of her blog or anything, but it feels different, to tell people she knows about her work. Because it’s one thing for strangers to read what she types out in earnest, and in tears and in vulnerability, but it’s something altogether different for people she knows to do the same. They aren’t her stories, not actually, but they are always her words, always her emotions she puts into them, and it feels too, too telling somehow.

“It’s growing in popularity,” she tells him, because she’s the one who opened this can of worms. “It’s called What a Life You’ve Lived.”

He hums, like that means something to him, but before she can ask what, two kids come barreling through the aisle. Iris tries to step out of the way and she slips, her heel catching in a small crack in the asphalt. Her knees buckle, but before she can hit the ground, Barry’s arms are around her. One of his large hands holds onto her, pressed against the bare skin of her belly, and then she’s pressed fully against him.

It’s absurd how much she likes the feel of him—the slim but corded muscles in his arms, the apparent strength in his fingers; and she likes the smell of him too, the faint hint of his laundry detergent mixed with the heat of the sun mixed with the citrus of his cologne. It’s another moment (™), which doesn’t make sense because he’s only just caught her from falling. But he’s looking at her like there is more in her gaze besides the brown of her irises, the flutter of her lashes. It would make sense, she supposes, if looking at her also feels like this for him, like her heart beats in time with every breath he takes and like time slows or stalls or...like every minute here is infinitely longer and in these moments… in these moments, she thinks that the world must somehow tilt on its axis because she feels...i feel you comin' down like honey, do do you even know i'm alive?, do do you even know i, i...she feels…

“Are you alright?”

Barry’s voice is quiet, too quiet for the energy they’re surrounded by. And maybe she doesn’t even hear it as she does read the movement of his pink mouth.

“Yeah, I am.”

He straightens, then, and gives her a half-smile. “You know, Iris, if you wanted to fall all over me, you could have just called.”

He likely had been trying for levity, but it’s pointed, right there at the end. She steps away from him and he lets her, his fingers sliding along the small of her back until they’re no longer on her skin. It leaves her cold

(only that can’t be true, because it’s far too warm out)

and she watches as he stuffs his hands into his pockets.

“I was waiting on your call, Iris.”

They've moved into a corner where the direction of the festival booths turn right. Straight ahead of them is a 21+ section; it features a stage where performances will begin around 5 as well as a number of makeshift bar stations. There’s a similar set-up with kid-friendly activities on the other side of the festival. Barry’s friends are standing at one of the bar stations talking to two women, both with chestnut-brown skin and long kinky hair. Iris’s eyes shift to take in the rest of her surroundings, to the sound of people laughing and the couples holding hands and the families who seem elated to be together on a day like today.

When she turns back, Barry is patiently watching her, head tilted to the side, expression thoughtful, like it always tends to be.

“Have dinner with me tonight,” Barry suggests “We can walk around some more. And once we get sun-tired, I can take you to this spot that I like nearby and we can talk. Maybe about why you didn’t call.”

She licks her lips, pulls the bottom one between her teeth. She hedges, long enough to tell herself that this would be a foolish endeavor, that she should just say no, that he’s nice and cute and what harm would it do. But, really, when he asks, those cyan eyes gleaming and his cheeks faintly pink and his face so goddamn hopeful it almost makes her look away, she really has no other choice.

“Okay, sure.”

She doesn’t tell him why she doesn’t call.

What she does is tell him about her dad and how she’s always been in awe of him, of his grace and his strength and the lessons he’d taught her. She tells him about Wally, who’s brilliant and searching, trying to figure out his way (not unlike her, though this she doesn’t say). She tells him about Linda, her sister in all of the ways that count, who’s always with her, even when she isn’t. And when he asks, because of course he does, she tells him about her mother who was beautiful and kind, all the way until sickness took her away.

She tells him this because he tells her first, about a larger-than-life father whose proximity to wrong-doing bureaucrats had landed him in prison, and an easy-going mother whose life had ended because someone else had been desperate for the money in her purse.

They do indeed walk around ‘til they’re tired, until around 6. Then Barry takes her to a little American bistro where they pride themselves on grass-fed meats and homegrown vegetables. They devour burgers the size of their heads and a mountain of fries that deserve their own table. He stuffs her with food and a piece of pie after, and he asks her some questions. He wants to know her favorite color and the television show she’s currently watching and if she’s always wanted to be a writer: yellow and Bridgerton and only since her parents’ divorce, when she’d needed to know that hers was only a unique story—or maybe she had needed confirmation that it wasn’t. She wonders about his dream job, his favorite hobby, the one thing he wishes he could do: forensic scientist, which he is, amateur theater, and getting his dad out of prison. That opens up a space for more convolution than should be allowed on a first date, and so she asks him more about amateur theater.

After, he walks her back to where her car is parked past Golden’s. When they get there, he listens for the sound of her car alarm, and then he turns her around, pressing her back against her car door. He walks closer, a hand at her waist, the other reaching up to cup the back of her neck, thumb circling lightly around her throat.

“Thank you for dinner,” she whispers. “I had a really nice time.”

“Yeah?” His mouth ticks up, that half-smile that is somehow both charming and a little bit maddening. “Enough that I might get a kiss?”

She tilts her head as if in thought, even as she gives in to her desire to touch him too, reaching up to finger at the faint moles dotting her cheeks. She only barely nods her acquiescence when he closes whatever distance is left and kisses her. Iris is always surprised by how warm his mouth is, by how sweet he tastes. He tastes like the apple pie they had earlier, but also like early sunset coffee on cool fall mornings and like how slow sex in the middle of the night feels.

He’s gentle in some ways, his mouth moving slow against hers, his tongue licking into her mouth like he’s trying to find life inside of her. But he’s a little rough too, squeezing at her waist so he won’t fondle her in the middle of the street, tightening his hold on her throat, only a little, but enough that Iris begins to feel the action in the throb of her sex. They kiss, eyes closed, her own fingers scratching at the nape of his neck, her hips thrusting against his in time to the flick of his tongue across her bottom lip, until she feels the swell of his dick against her belly and her loud moan tears him away from her.

“Fuck Iris,” he all but growls, licking his lips as he looks her over, a little wrecked. She hadn’t even realized she was doing it, playing with the soft strands of his hair, until she notices it’s all messy, matching the state of his swollen mouth, his wrinkled skirt, the heavy dent in the center of his pants. She wonders what she looks like.

“Get in the car, baby.”

Wide-eyed at the endearment outside of sex, Iris does as he tells her to, sliding in and buckling up before he closes the door. When the purr of her engine starts, he motions for her to roll her window down. She does, waiting as he plants his elbow on top of the car, bending his lean frame down so that his face is level with her.

He smiles softly at her. “Go out with me next Sunday.”

She bites at her lip, if only to give herself another moment to breathe. Because this date would be moving beyond a two-night stand, beyond an impromptu date, far beyond kissing on the side of the street.

“What time on Sunday?”

“Early afternoon,” he says and leans in even closer. “I’ll pick you up.”

She nods before she can talk herself out of it, even if she knows that she should. Barry motions for her with a crook of one of his long fingers, and it makes her think of what’s been playing in her head, of down for the ride, down for the ride; you can take me anywhere, and when she comes to, he places a sweet kiss on her mouth.

“I’ll see you next week,” he says, pulling away slowly.

And then Iris watches him—his strong and assured walk, his compelling and commanding aura—until she can’t see him anymore.

Do do do down for the ride, down for the ride

You could take me anywhere

I hope you will, I hope you will, I hope you will

#westallen fanfiction #strangers to lovers #iris west #barry allen

[hyperewok1]

For Nyomi - Past 12, Present 11, Future 10. For Remi - Past 10, Present 14, Future 1. For Jillian - Past 3, Present 3, Future 8. For Jerrica - Past 11, Present 13, Future 7

Nyomi: What are some of their biggest regrets? Her affair with Orias, among other exs to varying lesser degrees. Not heeding her master's lessons during the war after he died, even if she'll still rationalize most of the actions taken on the battlefield as justified (she might regret the collateral damage of some those decisions, but rationalized as justified nonetheless). Running away after the war and killing Orias when that part of her past caught up to her. Killing a Republic marine commander who tried to betray her to Zakuul for the dubious promise of his troops' safety. A few incidents involving alcohol in between most of those other incidents.

What’s a typical night’s sleep like for them? Better than it used to be in years past, usually, though still occasionally aided by a whiskey nightcap. But most nights she meditates if she needs to relax beforehand, especially during a mission or protracted crisis (fortunately the war in general isn't enough to keep her up at night anymore, as long as that turn of events doesn't get worse). She still doesn't sleep too much and always get up early for morning drills and meditation, even if she's not dealing with the occasional lingering flashbacks during that prior night.

How do they want to be remembered after they die? As a resolute defender who made the best of hard choices in wartime, but also as the kind of Jedi who isn't needed anymore, in her ideal future galaxy where the last traces of the Sith have been eradicated.

Remi: What did they dream of doing when they grew up? How and why did it change, if it did? Remi wanted to go out and see the world in adventuring, which she was fortunately able to do, though she outgrew notions of Big Damn Heroism well before she became a mercenary, which then taught a further dose of the real world to give her some more responsibility and respect for the adventuring life. So, of course, she didn't expect to be chosen by a god like Big Damn Heroes often are in the songs. So things have changed pretty drastically now that she's partly responsible for trying to save the world.

What matters most to them right now? The quest, Alisaie, the rest of the group. In no specific order, given that said order would be very, very difficult to make a call on. Also a bit of vengeance is steadily rising in priority. 

Briefly describe their life in the future, regardless of how far into the future this is. There's some theological talks to be had with an assortment of people and also divine beings at some point in the future. Remi very much views her oath to Tritherion through the specific quest she was given, and then more so once she ended up vowing 'everything else besides that' to Pelor and Ziriel. Remi is very open to continuing the wandering hero thing with Alisaie, if ideally with smaller stakes at hand. But she's not about to try and get out of whatever obligations Ziriel might put on her after the Quest has been fulfilled, though she's certainly hoping that continuing a general do gooding will keep various divinities happy. So she might be doing some more wandering hero-ing, she might be called to another uppercase-Q Quest, and either way she probably won't be putting down her sword any time soon.

Jillian: Describe their family. Who raised them, and who had the most impact on them? Did they have any siblings? Who were they closest to? What were the family dynamics like? Jillian had two perfectly decent parents trying their best to build a life on the rugged frontier after coming from somewhere back east some years prior, which meant she was obliged to help out as soon as she was old enough to walk and do chores, especially as an only child. Her father was probably a little bit more impactful in not obliging the period typical gender roles, since an additional hand to ride around with the herd and shoot at predators was most definitely needed. She was close to both of them, and hadn't been planning to leave anytime soon despite getting married. She and Isaac building a little cabin for themselves somewhere on her parents' land, but otherwise they were still working with each of their families to do communal cattle herding things. After all, her parents taught her to support the people around herself, and that no one should or likely could face the whole world by themselves. (Fortunately she eventually re-learned that lesson in a different context.)

Do they belong to any factions or groups? Why and how did they join, and how do they feel about it? Nope. Being from some frontier Protestant church, she doesn't have any sort of wider institution (and presumably not every Catholic priest is in the know just because they're in the same club) to rely on beyond the general notion of 'I sure hope the preacher in the next town is the good kind of Christian, and also knows about the spooky'. Which is a very interesting part of her dynamic compared to my other assorted paladin-y characters, who have had varying amounts of formal training and memberships in some sort of order to provide them with an education and support system.

Would they become a mentor figure for anyone? Maybe, pending on types of mentoring. Jillian originally felt like she needed to give Aloy a hand or two in learning how to survive in the Wild and also Weird West, though she also underestimated her, especially the bit with the thunder cannon. She and Isaac originally expected that children would come sooner or later, though that's debatable for multiple reasons now. She's certainly not expecting to take any kind of apprentice in terms of smiting, and would be very hesitant to even if she would have benefited greatly from a teacher herself. But she would think that's something between a theoretical Bearer and God, assuming that someone else can be granted the amount of power she has at the same time, or that it could be passed on with her input, etc. (I have yet another partly written thing where she talks to someone more knowledgeable and is told an implication that each blessed person is unique in their own circumstances.)

Jerrica: Were there any events in their childhood that led to phobias or other fears? A general childhood School of Hard Knocks gave her a careful respect for various the dangers of life, between gangsters and city guards and the sea (recent events gave her a definite phobia of the open sea), but nothing genuinely terrified her and she enjoyed the adrenaline of assorted dangers. Cultural superstitions taught her to fear the Outsider and the Void, but that only became genuine once all those ghost stories were proven true. Or at least some of them were, and thus the issue is she doesn't know which ones still aren't true. Part of the fun with her and also Jillian is how much they decidedly do not know about the supernatural things they're obliged to deal with, and thus are liable to jump to conclusions or assume their preconceptions must be true because one other  supernatural thing has been proven true. Fortunately Jillian has at least has seen enough that she doesn't assume everything supernatural is witchcraft (and thus preconceived as dangerous) like Jerrica does.

What’s the worst (in their mind) way their current situation could end up? Other than the fact that she got Mina back and at least initially she seems okay, Jerrica doesn't want to think about how it could get any more worse. She's stuck in Dunwall with an Outsider's Mark and little more than the clothes on her back and the contents of her pockets, most of the whaler crew cult is still alive and actually has an assortment of rich and powerful patrons, and there's also the Abbey to worry about. Having a patron of her own and a couple of fellow 'witches' is certainly helping, but still.

Are their friends still a part of their life? Are there people they are no longer in touch with, or newly important people? Jerrica's certainly planning on killing every last member of that whaling crew regardless (or especially because) of how close she was to some of them. She's also pretty miffed at her parents for giving up Mina, though she'll probably ease off on that in time and find some way to send them money, but she isn't about to reveal herself in the short term, and the long term is still up for debate. She feels honor bound to stick around with Viola and Delphine until their respective vengeances have been satisfied (much less the help she could use with her own), which could all take awhile, and planning all that vengeance is hard enough, much less considering the farther future.

#star wars #swtor #deadlands #D&D #dishonored #writing #prompts #so much prompt #that was a good prompt list

[thefreshfinds]

TOSO:

While TOSO's conscious ways are deemed as priceless, one can expect his overrall sound to be cheaper by the dozen! His range of topics (if measured) are off the scale. Nevertheless, he's fresh to death goddamnit!

In an instant the MC could be speaking on how we're robots in our modern society, "From the fact since I was young, I was raised to be a slave/Go to school, study math, beatings if my grades were bad. When all I really want to do is play some ball or write some raps../Hoping I can talk some real sh-t into all these little kids/What you're learning is from within. F-ck the system that was built. 'Cause real authority only comes after someones just been killed/True will is all it takes, turn yourself into a great." (Cant Stop Me). Then, TOSO can speak on how he's got varieties when it comes to his kush & women, "Have sex with b-tches in all 50 states/High everytime & it all feels the same/Yeah it's insane, rollin' them plain/ Quarter with me everywhere I go." (Fish Scale) or "When I do shows, f-ck h-es/Get checks (So Outstanding). However, it all comes down to the cadence he decides to use.

With this in mind, he says "The combination of meaning, cadence, flow & word choice is what makes for a good verse. A perfect verse will roll off your tongue perfectly without loosing breath. People should be able to understand your words & the flow you choose. Essentially your voice should be like another instrument on the beat." And so TOSO does his diligence to make a song for every mood.

On the other hand — the flow he chooses is stopped short. Simply, to keep a listener hung up on his choice of rhyme schemes. Yet TOSO's pride runs deep on creating #1 hits. 
"I love thinking about & creating new songs. But I love recording them even more." TOSO adds "Recording a song is like game-time to me. When I’m in the booth I know that all my practice has come down to that moment. I know whatever I do from that point on will be on record forever." All these components help TOSO to reach all audiences. At most, it's really unbiased.

Griginally from the suburbs of Lincoln, Rhode Island — TOSO is an independent hip hop artist who now resides in Los Angeles, California. Fond of his hometown's cheap rates, TOSO loves the fact that all of his friends & family are back there. But maybe (just maybe) they'll move to The Golden State? "Ever since moving to L.A I’ve realized how much more expensive things are in the West compared to the East Coast." he goes on to say "I’m sure if any of them had a chance to move to California they would in a heart beat."

Raised by parents who are migrants from Nigeria, he also has 1 older sister. In his earliest years, TOSO was involved in sports. However at 6 years old, he was involved a life threatening car accident that left him with a huge scar above his right eye. By college TOSO was playing Division 1 college basketball. Then he began taking music seriously & put his basketball career on halt to pursue it further.

Throughout the years he's loved writing. He would even write essays & create stories from his imagination. But TOSO took it further in middle school with song lyrics in middle school (which came naturally). He recalls his first time rapping in front of people in the 5th grade. It then followed with a couple of his friends asking him to freestyle for them. By high school TOSO was writing song lyrics to instrumentals. Then the MC found out quickly that he had a talent for making music; but was still serious about playing basketball & going to the NBA. So he decided to keep music as a hobby. Fast forward to TOSO's sophomore year of college when he had an apartment with some friends & basketball teammates. Suddenly TOSO had an ephiphany. For the long haul, TOSO wanted to start making music. "My teammates, Parris Massey, was also into making music & had a microphone set up in his room. Soon after moving in together, I would hang out with him whenever he recorded songs. During that summer Wiz Khalifa dropped “Kush & Orange Juice”, which had a huge influence on my life. I went from being a serious athlete to becoming a pot head musician. Most people saw this as a bad turn in my life, but I knew that If I worked hard I could turn my situation into a positive one." says TOSO.

Since then TOSO has been perfecting his craft & working on becoming the greatest rapper that’s ever lived. Ultimately his love for making music & hearing himself drove him to take it seriously. "I loved the reaction I got out of people when they heard my music. I loved the adrenaline that I felt after getting off stage at my first performance. I love the satisfaction of perfecting a song that I’ve heard in my head." A carefree being, TOSO keeps in mind that time is his to own! While he follows his intuition, he strays away from unneccesary drama. "In my music my message is that there’s no right or wrong way to live life." says TOSO "Enjoy your time as much as you can while you are here, effect the world the way you want to effect the world & let everything else play it’s part."

Likewise his music allows him to be honest & show people it’s ok to feel all sorts of emotions. It's very unpredictable. "Sometimes I’ll go through 500 beats in a day & only find 6 that I like. But usually out of those 6 I’ll be able to make a couple hit records." adds TOSO "After finding the beats comes the fun part. Writing song lyrics makes me feel as good as I use to feel when I played basketball. Coming up with a catchy metaphor is like hitting a nice jump-shot. Sometimes I’ll write a clever lines and get so excited about it that I scream out in joy. I love thinking about & creating new songs, and I love recording them even more." TOSO even says that writing lyrical verses & harmonizing are his biggest strengths. For him, writing lyrics & harmoninzing are like solving math equations. Harmonizing comes from his soul & he usually has no control over what harmony he uses because the different instrumentals dictate them. "Staking different melodies & harmonies are my favorite."

As artist, TOSO believes that they've got it all wrong. When it comes down to it, he says that in today's generation encouraging words, likes, shares, & attendance to shows are considered support. However artists expect their family & friends to do these things without hesitation. Honestly though, they are not required to. "Support comes from true fans who like you & your music. Make better music & present yourself a better way. The support will come." In addition TOSO wishes the current era would start a union that gathered all their fans & moved them in a positive direction. Fans need to get educated on the laws of their state & about banks. It's best to start a credit union. 

For all the upcoming artist — TOSO advises you to make clear-cut music & videos. Along with this, he encourages you to perform at any show they can & to network. Yet the most important piece is to know your worth.

Expect the interchangable MC to drop an album real soon. In his words, he's been working on his debut album titled “The Prophecy”for the past 3 years. It consist of his best work yet & has been the most difficult project he's ever worked on. "I feel like Jay-Z or J-Cole when they dropped their first album. Although I’m releasing it fully independent." TOSO goes on to say "I believe the music speaks for itself. Each song has a different vibe but the cohesive unit sounds like one sound. The best parts of the album are the instrumentals & the lyrics."

Moreover it took him 2 years to pick the beats on this album. "Each day I would go through over 100 beats & probably only wrote to 4 of them. Then after I had 20 songs written I would narrow it down to 3. I would repeat that until I had 15 songs. In the end I narrowed it down to 13 songs for the album. These are all my best songs and probably better than most the songs you hear on the radio. I plan to release this album this summer, but the date is still pending." 

Before the album TOSO will be releasing a single from the album called “The Best”. He says that this song is very uplifting & melodic. It's guaranteed to give everyone a good vibe. TOSO will also be releasing some tracks that didn’t make it on the album. "Even though they are not good enough to be on the album, I think they are still worthy enough to share with my fans." he says. The first release is titled “Can’t Stop Me” and can be heard HERE: https://song.link/i/1460102483w

By: Natalee Gilbert

LINK(s):

1. SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/therealtoso

2. Instagram: @therealtoso

3. YouTube: www.youtube.com/TheRealToso

4. Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheRealToso

#soundcloud #freshfinds #music #musicblog #rap #listen #banger #musicians #hip hop #follow #nojumper #hot97whosnext #unsignedrapper #complex

[dustedmagazine]

Dust Volume 4, Number 9

The Long Hots

We enter the pumpkin latte season with a full slate of short reviews, covering both anticipated and overlooked releases from rock, pop, jazz, punk and unclassifiable genres. Contributors this time included Bill Meyer, Ethan Covey, Jennifer Kelly, Isaac Olson, Jonathan Shaw and Justin Cober-Lake.  

Baked – II (Exploding in Sound)

II by Baked

Baked, out of Brooklyn, belches a lava flow of viscous guitar sound over sweetly unassuming pop melodies. If J. Mascis ever wrote a song to impress the women of Look Blue Go Purple, if Beat Happening experimented with a whacked out set of fuzz pedals, it might sound a bit like this – in short, it’s fetching DIY pop with serious muscles under the anorak. When soft, vulnerable tune meets the bristling heft of feedback, there’s a palpable fizz, never more so than on “Hope You’re Happy,” sung by Isabella Mingione. “The Hartlett Anthem” does the same trick with Jeremy Aquilino singing tender hooks over the droning surf of dissonance like a sleepier Teenage Fanclub. This particular recording is Baked’s third, after 2014’s Debt and 2017’s Farnham but earns the “II” by being the second in Exploding in Sound’s Tape Club series. That’s undoubtedly why it’s so short, but brevity is tantalizing. These five songs leave you wanting more.

Jennifer Kelly

 Big Blood — Operate Spaceship Earth Properly (Feeding Tube Records)

Massachusetts-based Feeding Tube Records favors such a frantic release schedule that it’s easy to miss the consistently strange, often delightful albums they spit out. Earlier this summer, the label dropped Operate Spaceship Earth Properly, a fresh & freaky 45-minutes of scuzzy psychedelia from Big Blood. The Portland, ME duo of Colleen Kinsella and Caleb Mulkerin — joined here in some capacity by their daughter, Quinnisa — have been delivering properly furry trips since the 1990s, originally as founders of Cerberus Shoal. The spin this time involves a tip of the hat to authors such as Octavia Butler and Ursula K. Le Guin via a science fiction-inspired song cycle. Yet, concept aside, the songs have serious teeth, stomping forward in a heady slop of bullying riffs, martial drumming and Kinsella’s third-eye rants. It’s headphone music for the deep forest, a turned-on reality-strip far more properly psychedelic than the jammed-out noodling frequently paraded by those dressed in thrifted tie dyes. Listen at your own risk; be changed.  

Ethan Covey

  Manu Delago—Parasol Peak (One Little Indian)

Manu Delago, a classically trained percussion who specializes in the steel-drum-like instrument known as a hang, isn’t doing things the easy way. For this album and the accompanying film, he convened a chamber group of seven people and led them, instruments and all, on a mountaineering expedition in the albums (pity the cellist). These eight tracks were recorded outside, in all kinds of weather, using natural elements like sticks, rocks and trees for additional textures. The result is a rather lovely blend of percussion-dappled Reichian minimalism, augmented by the sounds of water, thunder and wind. The music works its way to the summit, beginning in the leafy, sun-warmed environs of “Parasol Woods,” where reedy, breathy clarinet and pensive trombone catch the light sparkling off intricate webs of tonal percussion. By “Ridge View,” sounds have turned chillier and more remote; flute and chimes are buffeted by gales of wind. A mournful, solitary whistle frames “Listening Glacier,” a trebly coating of ice on a grounding drone of cello, but there is exuberance and accordion wheezing triumph in “Parasol Peak.” Fingers and lips must be pretty frozen all round by this point, but a warm, pulsing joy emanates from this brass-y, syncopated reel. The question arises: why would anyone do such a difficult thing?  But the answer is right there in the accompanying video. Because it was beautiful, because it was hard and because it made a sound no other new chamber group could make, with woods, mountains, stones and  physical effort built right in.

Jennifer Kelly

 Ethers—Ethers (Trouble in Mind)

s/t by Ethers

Ethers spun out of the late Chicago drone-punk-garage outfit Heavy Times, pulling front man Bo Hansen and bassist Russell Calderwood into this new enterprise and adding Calderwood’s wife Mary McKane and drummer Matt Rolin. Along the way, Hansen et al seem to picked up a heightened appreciation for melody and hook (and percolating keyboards thanks to McKane). “It’s a Rip-Off” lurches and jitters on slashed guitar riffs and hard, straight up and down drumming, but there’s an undeniable lilt in its fuzzy tune, and “Emily” balances bluster and tenderness in equal parts. If Heavy Times drove a post-punk freight train through a long, shadowy tunnel, Ethers breaks out into sunshine on the other side of the mountain, the darkness in the music but not all of it. “Something” ends the disc on a high note, chiming guitar notes streaking like meteors down to a burnt-bare beat, an intoxicating smell of sleeping gas all around.

Jennifer Kelly

 Iron & Wine — Weed Garden (Sub Pop)

Sam Beam has somehow become a master of the EP. Last year's full-length Beast Epic from Iron & Wine received critical acclaim and a Grammy nomination, but it never really settled the way much of his earlier work had. Given that Weed Garden draws from that album's leftovers, the new EP could have been a quick toss-off to turn a few dollars on otherwise dead songs. Happily, though, Beam delivers a strong, quick set. Where he had traded in resignation, this one starts with an immediate rally, the call in “What Hurts Worse” to “become the lovers we need.” His awareness of brokenness becomes the grounds for a fragile restoration, his voice and the smooth production serving the message.

A few years old but until now unreleased, “Waves of Galveston” brings the necessary precision to a complicated situation, and the continuing Croce-like sound fits the mood perfectly. “Last of Your Rock 'n' Roll Heroes” brings a steady bounce to a series of impressions that eventually give way to the darkness. Closer “Talking to Fog” uses language to resist pending dissipation, offering gentleness among hardness and “reaching out” despite knowing safer options. Beam's writing relies on visuals until he makes blurry images come into focus, even if he maintains that “it's hard to find.” It's a strong statement from Beam, an album's worth of care in a little EP, again.

Justin Cober-Lake

  The Lavender Flu — Mow the Glass (In The Red)

Heavy Air, The Lavender Flu’s 2016 debut was a double album of feel-bad rock sent forth from the Pacific Northwest damp to soundtrack an endless bummer. Chris Gunn, formerly of The Hunches and Hospitals, assembled the album at home, on analog tape, building and reworking the tracks into one of the year’s most impressive collages of sound. The second time around, with Mow the Glass, the approach is different. Here, Gunn is backed by a proper band — brother Lucas Gunn, former Hunches drummer Ben Spencer and Eat Skull’s Scott Simmons. Those folks all lent a hand to Heavy Air, yet here they are in the same room, playing together to the buzz of warmed amps and a view of the sea. The album is trim and clear, focusing Gunn’s aesthetic without losing sight of the mindset that got him here in the first place. A couple of cuts from the first LP — “Demons in the Dark,” a cover of Townes Van Zandt’s “Like a Summer Thursday” — reappear with fresh coats of paint. “You Are Prey” begins tipsy and unraveling, with the band chasing a whip of stereo-panning guitar, before setting into a reverb-rich ballad. The mood is subtlety sunnier throughout, like a crack of light on the horizon viewed from the soak of a storm.  

Ethan Covey

  Long Hots — Monday Night Raw (Self-Released)

Monday Night Raw by Long Hots

You should listen to Trouble Anyway, the new LP by Rosali Middleman. Middleman is a talented songwriter, but part of what makes Trouble Anyway so listenable is its lush instrumentation, all-star band, and pristine production. Middleman is also a member of The Long Hots, and their debut tape, Monday Night Raw sounds, by contrast, like it was recorded on a Fisher-Price tape deck by a band with about three weeks of musical experience between them. It’s glorious. The members of Long Hots are rock and roll lifers, so Monday Night Raw’s amateurism is both affected and effective, and sure to satisfy anyone who thinks Here Are the Sonics!!! is too slick. Of particular note is the ten minute “Boogie Trance,” which delivers exactly what it promises, no more, and “Die Die Die,” the chorus of which goes, you guessed it, “Die, Die, Die, Die.”  

Isaac Olson

  Paul Lydon — Sjórinn Bak Viò Gler (Paul Lydon)

sjórinn bak við gler by Paul Lydon

When you’re on your own, labels don’t mean much. Paul Lydon is an American musician who has been based in Reykjavik, Iceland since the mid-1990s. His discography is small, and he’s never made the same record twice. He’s sung alone and with a partner, in English and Icelandic, and kept the accompaniment varied each time. On Sjórinn Bak Viò Gler there is no singing at all, but it’s the most lyrical music of his recording career. The album’s title translates as The Sea Behind, and given Iceland’s prevailing clime you might want to keep it that way until there’s a closed door behind it and you. Lydon’s touch on the instrument betrays close acquaintance, and it’s easy to imagine him spending hours playing and ruminating on what he’s played. It doesn’t fall easily into any genre; its stream-of-consciousness flow is too perambulating for pop, too elaborate for minimalism and it doesn’t fall easily into any classical form. So let’s not worry about what it isn’t, and instead appreciate its confidently open-ended melodies and comfortably solitary mood.

Bill Meyer          

 Thee Open Sex — White Horses (Sophomore Lounge)

THEE OPEN SEX "White Horses" by Thee Open Sex

Indiana might seem like an odd place to give birth to a combo committed to diving deep into Krautrock concepts but think again. You’ve got highways and flat land that doesn’t afford much of a view once you’re over the cornfields; what could be more practical than motoric music? The Open Sex makes music that’ll whittle away the road miles, and White Horses is cut precisely to get you 35 minutes closer to home. That’s how long guitarist John Dawson and drummer Tyler Damon bear down on a groove that’s more metronomic than equine. Three guests use their playing as a foundation for a wheeling superstructure of squelchy notes and spacey textures. This is white line meditation music; be sure to stay mindful of the weight of your foot upon the gas.

Bill Meyer

 Rob Noyes & Ryan Lee Crosby — Modal Improvisations on 34 Strings (Cabin Floor Esoterica)

[CFE#68] Modal Improvisations on 34 Strings by Rob Noyes & Ryan Lee Crosby

On record and in concert, 12-string guitarist Rob Noyes displays a clarity of intent that you don’t often see from an artist who is young and new. But not only does he keep his picking clean and lyrical through rustic rounds and mystery-laden excursions, he keeps his head in the presence of a very different guitarist. Ryan Lee Crosby plays chaturangui, a sort of hybrid veena / dobro guitar developed by Debashish Bhattacharya. The chaturangui is suited to the swoop and chime of Hindustani ragas, and that’s how Crosby plays it. Noyes embroiders the contours of his partner’s voluptuous lines and pushes back with pure-sound strumming. He manages to sound quite supportive and engaged without compromising the very different character of his playing. This short (not quite 28 minutes) tape is a typically atypical Cabin Floor Esoterica product; home-dubbed and hand-wrapped, a first edition has already gone out of print, but a second run is imminent.

Bill Meyer  

 Riesgo — Demo MMXVIII (Self-released)

Demo MMXVIII by RIESGO

It’s not often that you can claim a tape is both a throwback to and a continuation of a vital movement in punk, but listen to Riesgo’s new demo. You can hear both of those historical trajectories as soon as “Lobxs” kicks it. The bass’s rubbery warbling and the guitars’ razoring buzz recall the initial tones of Black Flag’s “Nervous Breakdown.” Then Carlos Ruiz starts singing, and the tape’s sound snaps into sharper focus. Chicago’s South Side, Latinx punks, thrashy attitude: Riesgo have picked up the baton from the excellent and underappreciated Sin Orden, who in turn had received it from the nigh-legendary Los Crudos. (Or, in a couple cases, band members just held onto the baton: Ruiz sings for Sin Orden, and Jose Casas played guitar for Los Crudos.) Razacore is alive and angry. That’s good news, and very timely. Given our current national moment — the current bullshit hating on Latino American identity and the reactionary responses to the violence in Chicago — this bolus of pissed off, politically fierce punk is precisely what’s needed. “Ahógate” is a standout track. The vocals and lead guitar are pretty unhinged, while the rest of the band hammers away at a compelling hardcore riff. It’ll sound great in a sweaty basement. Viva, Riesgo!

Jonathan Shaw

  Rocket 808 — Digital Billboards b/w Mystery Train (12XU)

Digital Billboards b/w Mystery Train by Rocket 808

Rocket 808 is the latest incarnation of the garage guitar phenomenon John Schooley, whom you might remember from the Revelators (or if not, enjoy this set of Billy Childish covers laid to tape in a record store in Columbia, MO in 1996). A frequent solo performer (his website is called John Schooley and his One Man Band), Schooley does it all on these two tracks. “Digital Billboards” overlays the cheerful cheesiness of a vintage drum machine with incandescent flares of whammy and deep reverbed guitar darkness. Surf rock, sure, but evil and skeletal and scary, with shades of Suicide in the wild ghostly automatism. Side two’s “Mystery Train” amps up the rockabilly, the drum machine cranked to the breaking point, the guitar arcing and spitting in turbulent bursts. Schooley sings on this one, steering classic blues lines around hard bends until they lift off the pavement. This sort of blues-referencing, early-rock-aware music always has an element of parody, but Rocket 808 seems less performance-art-ish than Bob Log III or Heavy Trash. It’s dark and dangerous, a heightened reality rather than a pose.

Jennifer Kelly

 Sam Weinberg — A/V/E (Anticausal)

A/V/E by Sam Weinberg

Sam Weinberg has contributed some raw sax to some harsh ensemble settings, particularly the duo W-2 and various gigs with Weasel Walter. But when he closes the door to his Brooklyn apartment, things get real. The sounds from outside his window and on his kitchen table prove equally valuable as he constructs a mutating environment out of inscrutable industry, passing traffic and critters, the mechanical parts of his horns and some vigorously scoured surfaces. This is the stuff of life, or at least Weinberg’s life. Layer upon layer of sonic activity coexists like the residents of a big old NY apartment building, close in proximity yet not particularly interested in each other.

Bill Meyer

#dust #dusted magazine #baked #jennifer kelly #big blood #ethan covey #manu delago #ethers #iron and wine #justin cober-lake #lavender flu #long hots #isaac olson #paul lydon #bill meyer #thee open sex #rob noyes #ryan lee crosby #riesgo #jonathan shaw #rocket 808 #sam weinberg

[trevordiav724]

A Music Player Software Plays Audio Data or Music with a PC Application

The interface https://en.1x-amp.de/ of that sort of music player software to listen to Modal Jazz supports selecting titles manually or through layouts.

This way, anyone can discover the player which finest suits your demands and is the simplest for users to use. Searching for good software can be tricky, yet it deserves putting in the time to locate the right one.

Many PC MP3 player software will certainly additionally permit people to call your playlists anything anyone like.

Whether you are a songs enthusiast that intends to make and also handle your very own playlist or simply someone that wants a user friendly software, available is software out available that is excellent for users. Of course, MP3 player software for computer can be made use of to develop music data in the type of your option. In addition, lots of players enable anyone to build your own playlists.

In general, the more preferred MP3 player software for Windows 11 are easier to use. Some produce better results than various do, however users need to experiment with a couple of different ones before deciding which one anyone like best. Sound titles are saved as MP3 types and also can just be dragged onto your software at Windows faster way. If users are brand-new to applying audio player software for PC, it could be a reputable idea to experiment with a few various ones ahead of picking one.

In most cases Computer-Driven MP3 Player Software is Taken to Play to Music Stored on the Hard Drive

Right here we will certainly advise a few software such we feel are basic as well as extremely good to make use of.

It is simple with a basic program as well as the player has all the fundamental attributes users would certainly anticipate in software to listen to Speed Metal, such as play, pause, quit, fast forward as well as turn around. An MP3 file is a computerized sound layout that utilizes compression methods to reduce the quantity of disk location eaten by computerized songs data outwardly endangering the audio quality. Right now are numerous audio converters readily available.

This consists of exploding hymns from the net, playing locally saved ballads, or acting as a versatile music customer able to link up to any kind of exploding sound solution, including media library management. When considering which one would be best suited for any type of provided person we ought to keep numerous points in mind, what type of media data it plays, how no problem is it to utilize, and also what type of additional features it provides. Audio player software for Windows 10 typically have functions as EQ, pitch scale and true bass. Here we will recommend a few software such we feel are simple as well as really excellent to use.

Simple to use MP3 Player Software for Computer with True Bass

It is possible to play audio data with many software to listen to Trip Hop.

Previous to anyone go out and purchase software for Windows 11, be sure to check out the components of the software stated in that short article. Some music player software for Windows 10 provide more elements than additional, while some are simpler to get around. This can be done by adding audio titles to a playlist, editing and enhancing a playlist, or conserving a playlist. Excellent MP3 software for PC ought to be instead user friendly, not too big as well as lightweight at the same time. The audio player software for Windows 11 is taken to play tunes on your personal computer. Most software can play MP3 titles, in addition to other types of audio data. Downloading subtitles pending playback is an additional good thing but it may decrease the speed of data processing fairly visibly so turn off automatic caption download choice in this case. Anyone can utilize the valve amp MP3 player as an audio data supervisor or MP3 arranging gadget such will assist users support and also prepare your digital music library without discovering excessive concerning just how it functions and it is straightforward and also extremely effortless to make use of with a simple interface as well as controls.

This makes it mainly great for events or celebrations where some tunes are better than others at different times. It is practical to play audio files with most audio player for listening to Chillwave.

Lots of people understand what MP3 player software is, it is a media player in which repeats music titles, yet not every person recognizes exactly how it works. The audio file will certainly after that be introduced by the audio player software solution automatically when users double-click on its icon so this function permits fast and effortless access to your sound titles. There are any MP3 player software that have more attributes than various as well as could take a bit longer to find out how to utilize them effectively.

#music player software #audio player software #MP3 player software #MP3 player software for Windows 10 #music player software for Windows 11 #music player

[astorytellerforthatgirl]

Dei’s Treasured Trophy

Author’s Note: This is my entry to the English Division and Short Story Category of the 68th Don Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature. This is a draft story years ago but I cannot proceed with it yet because I am looking for a strong character profile. Until this early 2018, I decided Maine is the fitting inspiration for that character. She knew I will join Palanca as I told her the first time we met. Afterwards in our second meeting, I showed her the receiving copy of my submitted entry. I now wholeheartedly share this story to you after the committee announce the winners. Enjoy reading! - RJ T. Vargas

Synopsis

          To describe Dei, she is a hardworking freelance worker, responsible student, and loving daughter and sister. She balances her time between her all responsibilities no matter how busy she is. Out of all her priorities, taking care of Rionne, her younger sister, is the most important one for her,

           A memory from last year still haunts Dei for the fear it may happen again. She does everything she can to prevent it. She shall do whatever it takes to protect everyone she cares for, most especially her sister.

           Fear is a deceptive emotion Dei has to deal with. Either it may immobilize her from carrying out the things she must accomplish, or it can turn into a driving force for her to gain the strength she needs to overcome the challenges.

          This short story is an attempt to raise more awareness and fight against the stigma about an issue. Dei’s Treasured Trophy shares values about resilience, self-love, friendship, family ties, and faith in God.

Dei’s Treasured Trophy

           “CONGRATS for your great performance in Olympics Ann! Ibang level ka na talaga!!!!THAT’S MY BESTFRIEND!!!!Share your stories about your games and experiences sa bonding natin ha. I miiiiiss youuuu! Let’s catch up soon please!”

           Dei types her message and presses the enter button. Last time she saw her was a week before her month-long training in South Korea then Ann flew to Hong Kong for the competition. Her best friend replies, “As soon as we get back home, promise! See you soon Dei! (^_^)”. It’s amusing how Ann still adds emoticon even when most online users choose emoji nowadays.

           She switches the tab from Facebook to a WordPress login page. She finishes her deadline for one of her regular freelance projects. Her blog posts about the top 10 most romantic Coldplay songs is due tonight. Dei transfers her revised draft and saves it there for pending review of her editor. It was hard for her choosing her top 10, as she loves all their songs. Also, she is a huge fangirl of Chris Martin. ”Iba talaga feels ng mga kanta nila!Oh I hope Coldplay comes back here…” she mutters to herself.

           She then opens Audacity and polishes an audio file by reducing the noise background and adding more echo. No matter how confusing the uploaded files are in the track control panel, she handles everything like a pro. She saves and sends the audio file to a client who hired her as a voice-over talent.

           Her spare time for this month is more than what she scheduled first. Dei wonders if she can do an additional freelance project. She opens her Facebook and scrolls down to see posts in a group of local freelance talents searching for auditions and casting. She finds a workshop offered by an entertainment agency. A director Dei will never forget in her life will conduct it. She has been a talent appearing in commercials and TV shows. Several months has passed but she still remembers his response after she told that director she is just an extra in those projects.

           He asked her experiences because he mentioned her familiarity despite her lack of self-confidence. The director likes her wit and spontaneity in an impromptu comedic act she did for her audition.

           “Anak, support ang tawag sayo, hindi extra.Those scenes need your role as a support to be complete. I see a future phenomenal star in you. We can further improve your talents once you believe more in yourself.”

           He was willing to train her under his talent pool. Dei wanted to say yes and commit that time because it is one of her dreams to enter the showbiz industry. However, she is still an incoming fourth year student in college that time around. She cannot afford to fill her schedule more than what she can do and what her time allows.

            “Well, I cannot get sad over a missed opportunity. Priorities first!”She browses her own YouTube channel. It is one of her so-called happy distraction when she feels down or is about to feel that way.It has been a long time since her last posted video.

             “I miss sharing more videos to my ten supporters.” She laughs loudly.

             Dei positions her camera with the tripod. She acts like a model in front of the mirror. Her full bangs almost covers her expressive dark brown eyes. Her black hair is an inch past her shoulders. She thinks of dropping by a salon to trim her hair next week. Her brown and fair complexion epitomizes a morena Filipina beauty. Her sunshine smile shows her excitement for her next video.

             She tries to mimic first different artists’ voices and body languages. Then, she impersonates Jessa Zaragosa, Shakira, and Jaya as she sings their songs. Next, she records herself dubsmashing to Kris Aquino’s lines. She gets distracted whenever she laughs hard so she pauses first the recording. Dei decides to record everything in one go for each personality. It takes a longer time for her editing the raw videos because she finds herself funny for her all out on-cam performances. Indeed, she loves making people happy and this is one of her unique ways to do so.

             In the middle of uploading her newest video in YouTube, Skype notifies an incoming call.Their parents calling her. Dei expects this call as their parents do it every day.

             She answers the call and she’s thrilled to tell them a good news. Her parents are smiling as she sees them on her laptop screen despite of their tired and drowsy eyes. She kisses and touches them through the screen. “Hello po Ma! Pa! I love you so much! I miss you po!” She wishes to take away their tiredness with her simple gestures.

            “Dei, how is our ever responsible daughter? Do you even have enough hours of sleep? Do you rest between your busy schedule? Sobrang dami mo kasing ginagawa.” Her mother cannot hide her concerns.

             “Of course po Ma! I need my beauty rest so I should not be stressed with school and my freelance projects.Di po ako pwede magmukhang haggard!”

              Her father laughs as if he did not laugh for a long time. “We feel like we are with you whenever we video call. By the way Dei, what is the good news you want share? You chat about it last time.”

              She tells them to wait for a minute. Returning with a small trophy, she exclaims “Here it is Pa, Ma! This is from our college department. I can’t believe I am one of the three President’s Lister! They gave a trophy to each of us. Umaasenso di ba? Di na lang po sila pa-certificate.They said not every semester they have President’s Lister so this is how they celebrate it with us. This is my treasured trophy!”

             “We are so proud of you sweetie! Keep up the good work! This is why we support your freelance projects. You know your priorities well, Dei. You told us before about how difficult are your school works. Here you are now! Your sacrifices are rewarded! Ang galing at sipag mo talaga!” her father beams with much pride.

             “Thank you po, Ma!Pa!Uhmmm…May I…May I ask something?”

           “What is it?”

           “I know I asked this last time but…when will you come back home? If only Dubai is just a tricycle away, I and Rionne will visit you there every day.”

           “Dei…” her mother tries to smile as she holds back her tears. If only they have a choice, the couple will stay with their two daughters. “Dei, we love to be there with you and Rionne but we still need to save more. We used almost all our savings for the medical bill of your sister last year. We want to go home too, believe us…but I hope you will understand.”

           “How is your little sister doing recently? Do not forget her medicines. Ask her if she feels anything wrong and tell us if you need more help. We will do everything to prevent what happened last year, whatever it takes.” Her father gives her assurance.

           “I always take care of Rionne, Ma, Pa. Don’t worry about her. She knows when she must take her medicines. I don’t even need to remind her about it. She is doing well in school. Her grades are within line of nine. Her weekends are filled with either her extra-curricular activities or bonding with her friends or with me. She enjoys doing everything! I’m happy hearing stories of how her day went. If she feels bad about something, she opens up to me. She fulfills her promise of not keeping any secret from me. If only she knows you will call this time, she will not attend her meeting in Student Supreme Council. She misses you too so much! ”She tells them honestly about her sister’s current situation.

           “Thank you for taking care of her Dei no matter how busy you are. You always make time for people you love. We are so blessed to have you and Rionne as our daughters.”

           They talk for hours until she did not notice her video is uploaded in YouTube.

                                                          ***

           “Every time you look at that trophy, Ate, you’re very proud of that achievement and clean the dusts off every week. Ang cute mo! Hahahaha!” She teases her Ate Dei when she sees her cleaning in their living room. She offers to help her but her older sister just requested her to wash the dishes, into which she follows. Rionne enters her room after her sister cleaned their entire house. She wants to finish her school works and other tasks in her extra-curricular activities.

           After Dei cleaned, she knocks at her sister’s room. Rionne says she can come in. She sees her sister with her books, handouts, and other paperwork while she keeps away the seven book-series about themagical journey of the chosen boy to defeat a dark lord. Her Ate Dei gave that book set.

           Rionne sits down and focuses on her laptop. Maybe she is finishing a schoolwork, as Dei thought. She bought the book set last week and her sister already told her the summary of every book this morning. Her sister even delivered lines, word by word, from her favorite scenes and characters.

            “How did she finish it all? Didn’t she just prepared and competed for her inter-school general knowledge quiz bee last week?” Dei cannot imagine how her sister, a junior highschool student, balances her time as if she is a working adult.  Then, she recalls Rionne’s doctor told her before it is normal for her to excel in multitasking, a common ground of those with her medical condition. Dr. Mejia even emphasized they are natural achievers and majority of them have high IQ but they need to improve more their EQ.

             Suddenly, A loud hit distracts Dei.

             Rionne hits her table hard with her first that it surprises them both. She is used seeing her sister blaming herself with her mistakes but the pains never lessen every time it happens. When things do not go well according to what she expects, she do things impulsively which she regrets later on. Dei wishes her words and hugs are more than enough to remind her sister that her worth is more than all her achievements combined and every setbacks she encountered. Deiloves Rionne so much for who her sister is.

             Dei puts away her other books. Her sister’s collection includes fictions from contemporary Filipino writers like Grace Chong, Merlinda Bobis, Miguel Syjuco, Cristina Pantoja-Hidalgo, Dean Francis Alfar and from Filipino classic writers such as Jose Garcia Villa, Nick Joaquin, Liwayway Arceo, and Lualhati Bautista. She also has non-fiction books about self-help and financial literacy from Bro. Bo Sanchez and Chinkee Tan, respectively.

           Dei scans her sister’s laptop and notices she just posted a question in a Facebook group about photography and another opened tab is Venus Raj’s testimonial about her Christian faith. Her sister is very open to her after what happened last year. It was her doctor’s advice to read her online posts. It was their parents’ request to see her browsing history given if her sister shows unusual behavior. She opens a recently closed tab, sees an email, asks permission if she can read it. Her sister nods. The email is a short notice of thanking Rionne for her participation but they regret to say her sister did not make it in the cut-off for their school’s final selection of their debate team. Now she understands what made her hit her fist so hard on the table.

            Dei looks over the room trying to find anything, which can help her, to make her sister feel better. She stops at the books she bought for Rionne. It is her sister’s first set of books from a foreign author. Her sister placed them at the center space of the cabinet turned to a mini-library. She can’t forget how much her sister loves to have it but the complete set is too expensive for her. It was just like yesterday when her sister jumped out of joy when she gave it on her birthday.

             For Rionne, she saw again how generous and thoughtful her Ate Dei is. For Dei, she bought the books not only because her sister wants it but because she always sees the magic in her as she excels in things she does because of her passion. She sees the magic in her heart because she never loses her sincerity, goodness, and faith in God…despite of everything that happened last year. 

             “Last year? Why am I still thinking about it Wala na yun! Rionne is okay now. We are happy now...”she tries to pacify her own fears.

              She approaches her sister slowly. She needs to make sure first her sister wants to be hugged. At times, Rionne pushes her away not because her sister likes to do it but because it is one of the impulsive reactions of her extreme mood swings brought by her medical condition.

              Dei shakes her head and reminds herself,“I must pull myself together! This is not the time to be scared! Rionne needs me more now!”

               She needs to be strong for her because they do not have anyone with them. She needs to be strong because the situation will get worse if she gives up. She needs to be strong because she loves her so much, she cannot bear to see her sister getting more hurt and angry.

              She pats her sister’s head gently. Her sister looks at her and hugs her so tight. Rionne cries on her older sister’s shoulder. That is her haven and refuge. It is and always her Ate Dei who comforts her immediately in times she crashes down in her own thoughts and feelings. She keeps on reminding her sister she is doing her best. She is very gentle to Rionne. Slowly, her sister calms down and stops overthinking.

              Unexpectedly, her sister breaks the silence and changes her tone. “You are so sweet and kind Ate! Whoever you choose among those guys who tries to win your heart, he’s such a lucky one!”

              Dei laughs and pinches her sister’s cheek. “Dear, your Ate Dei has a lot of priorities and lovelife is not included in it! Hahahaha! Pinapamigay mo na ba ako? I am happy with my life now and I do not need a guy to complete me. Bonus na lang pag may ibigay si Lord.I am happy chasing my dreams. I am happy with our family. I am happy you are here with me, Rionne.”

              “The way you call my name is my favorite unlike how everyone else calls me, Ate. It rhymes with lion and your pronunciation feels like I am a royalty.” her sister chuckles.

              “Out of everything I said, that’s the only thing you heard? Hahaha!” Dei giggles and hugs her sister. She loves her so much. She realizes she loves her more after she wasn’t home last year for two months. Her giggles and smiles turned to a neutral expression. Fear crawls in her heart. If only it was that easy to forget why Rionne was away from them for two months... She will make sure it will not happen again. She will cross all the oceans just for her sister. 

              “Lord, please make that the last time…Do not ever let it happen again…”Dei prays as she pleads in her deepest thoughts.

                                                        ****

           “That is the end of my report. Do you have questions? Any clarification?” Dei tries to stand confidently in front of their class. Her blockmates do not have a single clue about her cold and uneasy hands. She prepared enough for this report but she is not sure if she did well. She believes she gave her best but this report is different because their professor has a higher standard compared to what she was used to with her other subjects.

           Dei feels awkward with the deafening silence in their room that she can hear the AC unit and ticking of the room’s clock. Her blockmates are active participants but she feels they are too timid now to share their ideas. She clears her throat and asks instead about their personal goal in relation to self-actualization according to Abraham Maslow’s theory, which was about her report. One of them raises his hand and shares his ultimate dream to serve his hometown by becoming a successful businessman. She nods and smiles as he answers because she admires his generosity.

           ”Parang autistic talaga yang nagmamarunong na yan. Ang bipolar ng mood.”Dei hears someone from the front row whispers to his seatmate. It gets into her nerve but she maintains her composure. She says thank you to her classmate who shared his personal goal.

           “Guys, I want to share you one of my personal goals. I want to be a vocal and active mental health advocate with my own foundation to raise awareness about this issue and fight the stigma in our country. I dream that one day, no one will be scared to consult experts as people might say they are going crazy. I want to see that day we will validate everyone’s feelings to prevent triggering them. We may start doing this by avoid using words like autistic and bipolar to mock and insult those we don’t like.Please, let’s be more sensible in our words.” She says it all firmly without mentioning about her blockmates whom she heard those words from.

           “Ms. Dei Archangel, I like how you delivered your report even if you did not discuss further the other details. Nevertheless, what I like most from what I heard today is your mental health advocacy. Make that dream of having your own foundation into a reality.”their professor commends Dei.

                                                        ****

              Rionne storms in their living room as soon as she comes home from school. Dei hears her ranting about the periodical exam she failed in the subject she struggles most after her adviser talks to her privately. Her sister expects a low score but not below the passing mark. In her entire student life, that is her first time to fail an exam. It shocks Rionne because she did not see it coming.

              She sees her sister’s eyes turn berserk, as if this is another person and not her sister at all.She recalls all the painful words she heard long before. Her sister curses her classmates and yells angrily how insensitive they are for smart-shaming her and calling her names.

               Rionne becomes hysterical and impulsive. Dei sees how she grabs that trophy and flower vase. She tries to stop her but her sister throws both on the wall. Its sharp pieces scratches and wounds her. She runs toward her sister to prevent hurting herself more. Her sister shouts the words she is scared to hear the most.

              “I AM A FAILURE!!!! I AM USELESS!!!!! I WANT TO DIE!!!!!”

              Rionne becomes uncontrollable. Dei did not feel her tears flowing when she sees her sister gets hurt, scared, confused, and mad at herself.She wipes her tears and tries to calm down her sister in her arms. She hugs her tightly even if her sister pushes her away. She remains strong even if she is hurting, physically, emotionally, and mentally. She endures it all rather than not to see her sister again in their home for two months.This is the non-negotiable promise she plants in her heart and she will never compromise it no matter what happens.

              In the middle of pacifying Rionne, painful memories last year floods back in Dei’s mind. It was as if everything happened yesterday. She remembers clearly how her sister broke down because a friend she trusts backstabbed her. They cannot calm her down easily.

              She started to hurt herself. Minutes later, she punches her parents and Dei. For the next hours, she tried to rush out of their front door. She keeps on shouting she wants to die. She wanted to end it all by running towards a fast moving car. Their father hugged her tight despite all the struggles she is doing to fight against him.

              For Dei, it felt like an eternal torture to see her family that way until her sister tires herself. Their mother caresses her hair and hugs her until she calms down. Dei kisses her on the forehead and says, “Everything will be alright dear Rionne. Sleep and rest first.”

              Their parents contacted her psychiatrist. Dei saw how her parents cried and hugged each other as if the world turned its back on them. She asked why and what did he said, but they did not answer her.

              “Dei, we will go to Dr. Mejia. He wants to see Rionne as soon as possible.” Endless questions and thoughts run across Dei’s mind but she cannot do anything except to oblige to her parents’ instruction.They waited for her to wake up and give her the first aid medication the psychiatrist recommended to help stabilize her mood in a breakdown episode.

              Inside the clinic of Dr. Mejia, he talked first to her sister. It went for more than 30 minutes perhaps, as Dei estimated. She was outside and became more impatient while waiting. She stood up and walked back and forth in the hallway. She got more anxious because the regular check-ups with Rionne’s psychiatrist do not usually take this long.He then asked for their parents in the clinic. Dei wanted to barge in that door separating her and her sister whom she feels is terrified silently. She wanted to know everything. What treatment will the psychiatrist give her this time around?

              At last, after more than an hour of waiting, Dr. Mejia asked Dei to be inside the clinic and sit beside Rionne. Her sister hugged her, turned to her doctor, and said, “Can my Ate be with me there? If she is not allowed to stay with me, then please let her visit me at least every week…” Tears formed in her sister’s eyes.

              Confusion, shock, fear, and betrayal---Dei does not know what exactly she feels at that moment or if she feels everything at once.She loses her temper and firmly said, “Where will you bring her??!! What is going here??!! CAN YOU JUST PLEASE TELL ME EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW??!!” Her emotions took its toll on Dei. If there is something worst to happen, then she needs to know it right at that moment.

              Dr. Mejia waited for her to calm down. When she came back to her senses, he explained in details. “Dei, we need to treat Rionne in a psychiatric facility. Her bipolar disorder becomes full blown with the recent event that triggered her. I cannot guarantee how long she must stay there because it will depend if she responds better to the treatments we will give. We need to do this to observe her round the clock to provide her immediate attention. Do not worry, the facility has trained and kind staffs. They have different worthwhile activities on a daily, weekly, and monthly routine. Your family can visit her regularly within the hours they allow. If you have questions and concerns, you may ask now or contact me in the mobile number I gave your parents.”

              Dei’s heart sank. The thought of not seeing Rionne for a day already worried and scared her to death. Who will take care of her? Can they handle her if she has her episodes of breaking down and impulsiveness? Will they know if she is depressed like how she feels her sister just by looking at her in one glance? Do they have the patience to comfort her in her worst and darkest days? She wanted to refuse. She wanted to shout and say they will just bring her home.

              However, the harsh reality slapped her in that moment---their family cannot take care of Rionne’s worsening mental health condition. That was why her psychiatrist recommended admitting her there as the best or probably the only option left for them.

              Dr. Mejia continued, “People with bipolar disorder are a gift for everyone but they see themselves as a curse for themselves. Their extreme mood swings can affect their normal lives which is why we need to balance it. They love sharing their time and efforts doing things they love and for the people they love.” He looked at her sister and smiled, “In most cases, those diagnosed like Rionne are achievers. They want to aim high every time and make people happy. Failing on that exam hurts her so much and triggers her condition, so she feels it is the end for her. The bright side though is even if there is no known and proven cure yet for bipolar disorder, treatments are available for them to live a normal and productive life. Stories of successful personalities with bipolar disorder such as Demi Lovato inspires her.

              “Dei, Rionne aims to have a balance life. She believes she will overcome her mental health challenges. Let us give your sister a fighting chance.” Dr. Mejia said those words as if it was so easy for her to just let go of her sister and allow other people to take care of her. It did not sit well with her. She wants to refuse but she cannot think of a better way to treat her sister.

              Rionne hits her chest lighty with her fist. “Ako pa! I can do that Ate Dei! Don’t worry about me. I will behave there so I can go home soon and we can bond again!”

              Dei did not hold back her tears anymore. She cried while smiling and hugged her sister. She feels ashamed of herself for not trusting Rionne enough. If her sister is this strong, then she needs to be stronger too for her. She agreed to the option after seeing the courage in her sister’s eyes.

              For the following days, it has been a regular routine for their family to visit her every day. On weekdays, they went there together in the psychiatric facility. Their parents wanted to see her every single day but their free time is only after their office hours. The visiting hours in the psychiatric facility only allow from morning to afternoon.

              On weekdays, Dei went there after her classes. On other days, she was too busy with her school works but she still found ways to visit even if she needs to leave earlier from the psychiatric facility.

              Rionne shared different stories based on what happened that day. She told Dei excitedly how it was easy to be friends with most of the patients in the psychiatric facility. She hated how she must drink her medicines every morning, lunch, and night. She enjoyed the activities too like outdoor and board games, arts and crafts sessions, acting workshop, dancing lessons. On some days, she ran towards Dei crying because she said other patients inside shouted at her and they want to pick a fight against her. There are times too when she apologized to her Ate Dei for not behaving well that is why the staff need to isolate her from the other patients until she calms down.

              “When will I come home Ate? I miss papa, mama, and of course, I miss you so much!” Not a single day that passed whenever Dei visits, Rionne asked this question with much longing and impatience.

              “Soon…just promise me you are behaving every day here so Dr. Mejia can see you are ready to come home soon.” Dei smiled at her with much love and assurance.

              In all her visits to Rionne, she was all smiles in listening to her story. She was thrilled too sharing her own experiences, as if catching up with a friend she did not see for years even if she visits her sister every day. Whenever the staff reminded them visiting hours is over, her sister always asked for just few seconds to hug her and tell her she loves her Ate Dei so much. She hugs her back and sees her going inside. A thick metal door closed wherein she feels the patients are like are prisoners. One of the staff explained to her psychiatric facilities need that design for the doors in case anyone breaks down and tries to escape. The staff lets visitors watch the patients through the CCTV monitor. Dei refused to look at it because she does not want to have a memory of her sister inside the psychiatric facility.

              As soon as she left the main gate of the psychiatric facility, she cried silently. She failed containing those overwhelming emotions even if she was already used to that exhausting set-up. She did not know anymore at that moment if those tears are out of longing, pain, regret, or hatred at herself for not protecting her sister enough. What she was sure of is she will never give up because Rionne herself is fighting with all she got. Indeed, Dei is the greatest pretender whenever she visits her sister.

              This routine went on for days, weeks, and two months.

              Finally, Dr. Mejia called them. He called them every week to give update about their youngest daughter’s progress and lapses. That time though, was a different phone call. “Mr. and Mrs. Archangel, Rionne responded positively to the treatments we gave her. In fact, I earlier estimated she might stay for at least six months. Her determination to be well and desire to come back home sped up her treatment. You may settle her bill in the psychiatric facility so she will be discharged within this day.”

              Their family went hurriedly to the psychiatric facility to tell the good news to Rionne. Their parents went to the billing department. Few minutes later, they came out with worried look on their faces. The bill cost nearly half a million pesos. They can pay for the amount but that means they have to sell their hard-earned property in the province of their parents and use their savings. Without any hesitation, they started calling their friends who said before they wanted to buy that property.

              “Dei, please stay here first. We will find means to get Rionne out and bring her home within this day.” Their parents gave her assurance.

              Dei went to her sister first while waiting for their parents. “Uuwi na tayo mamaya! You are brave and strong Rionne! Dr. Mejia said many good things about you. Ate is so proud of you, dear!”

              “What did I tell you Ate! Ako pa! At last, I can come home!! Yaaaay!! We will watch movies, cook meals, bike around the village, or just sleep all day long! Hahaha!” Her sister hugged her so tight she felt she was about to be squeezed.

              “I promise you Ate Dei, I won’t come back here again as patient. If I will return here, I want to help others enduring bipolar disorder too like me.” Rionne beamed with much confidence.

              “Yes, you will not come back in a psychiatric facility again…”

              The medical bill almost left their family with nothing in their finances. This pushed her parents to accept the offer to work in Dubai so they won’t struggle in their everyday needs. This is also the same reason Dei works as a freelancer in her spare time from school. Despite all the challenges they experienced last year, it made their family ties closer. She loves the improvements from her sister after the treatments inside the psychiatric facility.

              Never did Dei anticipate her sister might have another breakdown.

              She continues to pacify her sister after she shakes off those memories she do not want to happen again.“Sssshhhh, everything will be alright dear Rionne. You promised me something last year…You will not come back there again. You can cry. You can tell me everything. Just ple--- just please don’t hurt yourself. I love you…Ate Dei loves you so much and I will do everything to take care and protect you…even from yourself.” She whispered lovingly to her while her voice cracks.

              Dei starts humming Rionne’s favorite song. It was from a popular animated movie about a Greek demigod’s journey as he believes he can go far in reaching his dreams.Few minutes later, her sister stops struggling. She gives her the medicine into which she takes in. She sings the lyrics and she looks at her.Her sister hugs her and cries in her shoulder. She is too tired so they sat on the couch as she continues to singing. After the song, Rionne sleeps comfortably in her Ate Dei’s caring hug. She wraps her sister’s right arm on her shoulder and supports her upper body. She brings her sister to her room in that position and tucks her to bed.

              “I love you talaga Ate Dei...”Rionne murmurs in her sleep.

              Dei brushes her hair and sings her a lullaby. “Thank God she calms down.”She thought. She treats her sister’s scratches and tiny wounds from breaking the vase and trophy with their first aid kit. Her mother reminds her to prepare that in case something happens. She wishes before she will only use it on herself, and not on her sister.She is too tired as well so she tucks herself beside her sister in bed, hugs Rionne gently, and closes her eyes to rest.

              It has been a long day for Dei.

                                                           *****

              “I always need to be strong enough for them but I feel like I am about to give up soon…” Dei types these words and clicks the tweet button.

              21 people follows her private account. All of them are her close friends. She trust them with her life. Although, most of them are inactive in Twitter so Dei finds it more comfortable releasing her thoughts in that social media platform.

              What Dei doesn’t know is Ann sees that tweet after 5 hours. Her bestfriend replies to her tweet and sends her a direct message in Twitter. Ann feels anxious just waiting for her to reply to she calls her through mobile phone. Dei stares blankly at her phone. Her athletic best friend has fast reflexes in sports and sharp intuition in connecting to friends. She knows at that point Ann would want to ask if she is okay and what is happening. She wants to pick up her phone and talk to her but she does not know what to say at all. She just turns off her phone and stares blankly at the ceiling of her room, contemplating about her thoughts and emotions.

              Suddenly, she feels her tears flowing but she is not sobbing. Her neutral expression seems to show her mind and heart made her numb.

              Did she become too strong that she did not notice her tears anymore? She doesn’t know but she is certain she wants to fight more.

              She needs this time all alone for herself, even just for while. She does not track of the time because at this moment, she wants to clear her mind to gather her strength and focus again.

              When her emotions subside a bit, Dei comes out of her room to prepare their dinner. She likes cooking more than Rionne does. Even though her sister does not cook much, she always help her in kitchen. She checks the ingredients. Some are not enough so she sends her sister to an errand to buy some ingredients for their meal.

              Not long after her sister went out, she hears repeated doorbells. She thinks may be Rionne gets confuse with the list she gave and will ask about it.

              She opens the gate and sees Ann. “We are supposed to meet next week with our catch-up lunch but you made me so worried today! You aren’t replying to my texts and chats. You didn’t answer my calls until your phone becomes attended. I called your landline and it was Rionne who answered. She said you were in your room this whole afternoon. I told her not to mention to you I will visit tonight.” Ann catches her breath after talking too fast.“We’re best friends! Why did you not tell it to me? Since when did you start feeling that way…I mean like what you tweeted?” Ann motions they enter their home to talk about it. Her best friend lets her sit on the couch first.

              Ann softens her voice and with a more gentle tone, she says, “Ano bang nangyari? How can I help you? I know there is something wrong the moment I saw your tweet…If you are not yet ready to share it now, we can watch movies here with these DVD copies I bought.”

              Dei sighs and turns to her. Her best friend sees her gloomy eyes. “I need to fight back. I must be stronger but it feels like I am running out of strength to fight anymore. Nakakapagod pala.It feels like I am about to lose myself even if I still want to fight.” She admits.

              She badly wants to cry but she feels her heart toughened from everything she went through especially in taking care of Rionne. It is nearly a year now since she looks after her sister all by herself. Their parents hesitated to go to Dubai but she assured them she could protect her sister.

              Ann lets her best friend vent out all her thoughts to her. They are childhood friends and they went to the same school until they graduated from high school. Dei’s university gave her a 50% scholarship. Ann chose her current university because the table tennis and other sports programs impressed her. Even if they are not from the same university now in college, their friendship remains strong as ever. They even consider themselves twin sisters by heart. Ann knows something is bothering her best friend even before she posted that tweet. She listens intently to her. Her best friend looks at her as if Dei is waiting to hear an advice or words of encouragement.

              “Before I reached my dream of playing in Olympics, I experienced failures, rejections, disappointments, and setbacks.” Ann clears her throat as she feels her voice becomes shaky.“I even questioned myself that even I love playing table tennis, can I still continue? I realize Dei you cannot really stop from doing what you love. You just need to rest first, gather strength, and pray every day to focus on your goals.”

              Ann sees the photo of their family beside their landline phone. She takes it and shows to her best friend. “I know how much you love you love your family. Let that love become the driving force for you to continue whatever happens. All of us, your friends, are always here to remind you how strong you are but sometimes you need to take a break and rest first. I cannot imagine how difficult your responsibilities are but I know you can do them all.

              “I believe in you. God trusts you so much and He never gives more than what you can bear.” Ann smiles and gives her the photo. Dei hugs her and smiles. No need for her to cry more after she feels lighter in her heart.

              “Thank you Ann for always telling me the words I need to hear at the most crucial times. Para kang si Doc Gia na level kung makapag-advice.” Dei laughs heartily. Thank God, she has Ann as her best friend.

                                                        ****

              Dei is uncomfortable with Rionne’s silence. Her sister seems to be thinking too much again. She calls her attention.

              “Dear, what’s wrong? I know when you are overthinking. I know when you are uncomfortable with anything. What is our promise? No secrets, right?”

              “I can’t really hide anything from you Ate…I am sorry for breaking your favorite trophy when I---“

              Dei is relieved. At least, Rionne worries over a less important thing. She stops what her sister is saying as she pulls her closer and looks into her eyes.

              “That trophy is nothing compared to the treasured trophy I have. Do you know what it is?” Rionne shakes her head gesturing no as a response. Dei smiles widely, pats her head, and hugs her tightly.

              “Seeing you live your life in the best way you can. You accept your flaws and turn it into your strength. That is Ate Dei’s treasured trophy, Rionne. That is my true trophy. I couldn’t be more proud of you!”

              “I will fulfill all my dreams and I will always say thank you for everything Ate Dei. Watch me shine and fly!”

                                                                  ****

#maine mendoza #maine #Carlos Palanca #Palanca

[valentineheaven]

The Poem Of Love (Tom Glynn-Carney x Reader)

I’m very happy to share with you my first story, which I wrote about Tom. I hope you enjoy it. If you want to send me a request, just do it. I will appreciate of your requests.

Summary: Is it true that friendship between a guy and a girl exists? They’ve been friends for seven years. Seven years together they help and protect each other. They are often mistaken for a couple, but they were both sure that they don’t love each other. Or not? How one night could change both their lives.

Song: Linus Young – Valentine

Many people say that it looks weird when a girl is friends with the guy. When they are friends, not lovers. Many are also convinced that just friendship between a guy and a girl not there, that one of those two for sure in love with his friend.

You both are best friends to each other for seven long years. With the school you together, helped each other in good and bad times, comforted each other when one of you was bad, had fun together and just enjoyed each other’s company. Tom and you are often mistaken for a couple, but they were both sure that you don’t love each other. Or not?

Always, when in your life were something incredible or just a pleasant event, you both ran to share experiences in your sanctuary of the attic in an abandoned cinema. 

And now, sitting between the boxes with the DVD’s and looking at a wall covered with posters of various movies, drinking tea, you shared your most intimate and personal, carrying yourself far away from all the chaos.

But now your attic-hideout was far away, in another city, but you are still together and still meet up to talk. You are still best friends.

He became a famous actor after he starred in the movie Dunkirk by Christopher Nolan. You went to the Art Academy to realize your dream of becoming an artist.

Today your final exams at the Academy and you not slept for three days, in the morning sits at the Academy pending the results.

Tom was sitting at home, reading his scripts, and every hour out of boredom, checking email. The TV was like background music, bright picture changed rapidly, sometimes attracting Tom’s attention. He knew that you have your finals today and  that from their results is dependent your studies at the Academy. He was worried about you no less than you are. Because of this, he didn’t even notice that he read the same script twice.

He heard a click. The door opened. Someone’s quick steps approaching him. It was you. You burst into the living room like a fresh breeze from the newly opened window. You all was shone with happiness. Quickly putting down your coffee, you hugged your friend, on Tom’s face appeared a wide smile. You’re here. You was with him. 

“What are you so happy?” - he asked when you pulled away.

“I finally graduated from the Academy! All the exams, all the work behind” - you’re still all shiny and smiling. “Tom, it’s all over, you know? I’m now free from everything and from everyone. Can draw and paint”

“I’m so happy for you,” he smiled, unable not to smile, when you are so happy.  “If you want, we can go somewhere and celebrate your successes”.

You approached him and took the hand. “You can call someone from friends,” he continued.

“I don’t want…” you said quietly with tenderness looking into the blue sea, the eyes of your friend. You slowly released his hand and sat on the edge of the sofa. “These weeks have been unbearably nervous for me. You even can’t imagine how much I tired. Even you actors not so tired, I think.”

“What do you want?” - Tom stood in front of you, waiting for a response.

“I just want something quiet and comfortable, but not all of these music howls and screams, like “Can I have another glass of whisky?” – you’re  a gesture, like calling the waiter. Tom smiled, lowering his head. “I want to stay with you tonight” - yours eyes met and you smiled at each other. “And tell you about exams, my plans after the Academy, read poetry.”

It was your favorite pastime when you were left alone and in silence. A poetry reading. Each read their favorite poems and just enjoyed the sound of the voices. Tom loved your voice, he could listen for hours as you reads poetry or just talking.

“Good” - with a smile he said.

He made cocoa with almonds for you – your favorite drink. You were sitting on the sofa in the living room, the TV still shone in the pictures, but you didn’t pay any attention to it. Inside Tom felt a tremendous joy for the fact that you preferred his company to this day.

Drinking cocoa, you told him all about today. You told everything with emotions, with gestures and with the incredible interest in your eyes. Tom liked it, and he wasn’t trying to interrupt and stop this conversation. Sat and quiet, with a rapidly beating heart, listening to you, examining your face and body. He realized that fell in love with you, fell in love, like a young boy. But you are friends and it kept his strong feelings.

Even then, four years ago in the attic of the theater, you sat quietly on the box with the DVD’s, read each other poetry, not only from books, but also your own. Tom and then read to you a lot about love, alluding to his feelings, but you thought that love is his favorite theme, so he only reads about it.

North comfortably on the couch and armed with a soft blanket, you were expecting Tom looked up in another room collections of poetry. You closed your eyes, so you was a little scared when on your knees fell the Rupi Kaur’s book – your favorite writer. He always knew what you loved to read.

He sat down opposite you, putting your feet on his knees, and put on his glasses.

“I love it when you wear your glasses. You’re so cute”

“Come on” - you both laughed. Tom was slightly embarrassed.

In his hands was a notebook, brown and leather, which was full of different pieces of paper and drawings donated by you. In addition, there he recorded his favorite poems and wrote his own.

«Among the worlds, the sparkling spheres,

The name of One Star only I repeat…

It’s not because I love Her dearly

But just because I pine with others.»

He began. You, resting your hand on your head, looked at him, watching the change in his face while he reads. He read as if he lived these verses for himself, though he is one about whom they are written. This verse is again about love, from what you smiled slightly, you loved when he read about love. Tom read on the exhale, so his voice was heard nice and he emanated such gentleness and awe.

«And when by doubt I’m troubled

I pray to Her alone for answers.

It’s not because She gives off light,

But just because with Her I don’t need light»

(poem by I.Annensky)

All this time, you looked at him, not averting your eyes. You was not wrong when you decided to stay with him this evening. The time spent with him today, gave you exactly what you wanted – peace and rest from all these crazy weeks.

«Her heart was wild, but

I didn’t want to catch it,

I wanted to run with it,

To set mine free».

(poem by Atticus)

 He continued to read, verse by verse, and you gently touched with your hand his soft red hair, Tom smiled occasionally. You always felt with him, as if you is enveloped in comfort and love, if all that was the wound was not important, he could do so you always felt good.

“Your turn” with a smile, closing his notebook and removing his glasses, Tom said.

The familiar fingers began to leaf through the familiar pages of the Rupi Kaur’s book  in search of a favorite poem. Now it’s his turn. It’s his turn to watch and enjoy you.

«Many tried

But failed to catch me

I am the ghost of ghosts

Everywhere and nowhere

Within magic within magic»

He put his hand to his chin, eyes filled with warmth and radiating tenderness, watching you, realizing how much he loves this person, how much he cares about his girl.

Your eyes quickly ran, illuminating with its light the pages of the book. You always read carefully, as if analyzing every word, but read slowly. Naughty strands of hair fell over your face, making it difficult to read. With a quick movement you removed from behind the ears, and they all fell and fell, it made Tom smile.

«None have figured out

I am a world wrapped in worlds

Folded in suns and moons

You can try but

You won’t get those hands on me»

(poem by Rupi Kaur)

He watched the movement of your lips, hoping to kiss them someday. You read quietly, but not whispering. Your voice was light and calm, enveloping all around.

«It is a blessing

To be the color of earth

Do you know how often

Flowers confuse me for me»

(poem by Rupi Kaur)

Tom lightly touched your thigh, what made you stopped reading for a second. But then continued to read. He had his hand on your skin, feeling its softness. His heart was beating faster and faster. You continued to read, but your breathing was no longer so smooth.

«But what is stronger

Than the human heart

Which shatters over and over

And lives»

(poem by Rupi Kaur)

The last poem. You closed the book and looked at the cover, hesitating to raise your eyes on Tom. His hand rose higher and higher, settling trail of tingling throughout your body. His face was opposite yours, you looked at him.

Tom looked into your eyes. It’s a blue-azure sea in his eyes engulfed you, you couldn’t shake them, couldn’t swim. His hand continued to travel over your body.

Kiss. First gentle and quick, and then strong and passionate. You have both realized that not friends anymore. This minute is proof of this. You have both long understood that love each other, but were afraid to admit, afraid of failure and ridicule. But they are not, and never will. What could be the ridicule and failure, when they are possessed by such a love.

The book has long been somewhere on the floor, the blanket enveloped you both. Your hands travelled in his hair. Between the kisses you shared each other’s breath, so warm and so hot. His hands went under your shirt, caressing your belly and rising above.

The onset of night, peppered sky blue dim bright lights – stars. The moon is big spot squeezed into this starry sky, illuminating his moonlit not only London’s streets, but also the dark windows of one of the London’s apartments. The moonlight seeping through the windows of the spacious living room, caressing your tender bodies.

All over, as you said previously. Bye friendship, the love began.

It was about 4:30 in the morning and you already awake and lying quietly for fear of waking Tom. Your hand gently stroking his chest, and he gently embraces your shoulders. He’s so handsome now, when he sleeps. So calm and carefree.

Quickly pulling the shorts and t-shirt, you grabbed a canvas and a pencil. Sitting on the windowsill, you began to quickly lead pencil. You paints. Draws him. Draws the man whom you loved without knowing it. Draws the man who cherished and loved you all these seven years.

Your pencil traveling on a canvas, drawing in every part of his body. Tom was leaning with his head on the soft pillow. His chest was open, and legs closed white blanket. He looked like a child, despite the age of twenty-two years. He is young and his body breathes the youth.

“Don’t tell me you draw me” - even with his eyes closed Tom said.

“I can’t. I’m drawing you” - looking at the canvas, you smiled.

“I love you” - opening his eyes, Tom said. “Always loved”.

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[blackishtea]

Yaya Mayweather Shows Off Her Gun On New TikTok Video Pending An Alleged Stabbing Charge!

Floyd Mayweather's troubled daughter Yaya Mayweather is currently facing a reported 99 years in prison, for allegedly stabbing her ex-boyfriend NBA Youngboy's baby mama La'Pattra Lashai Jacobs. Despite that fact, she uploaded a controversial TikTok video yesterday online where she pulls out a huge gun and pretends to shoot. Watch: https://www.instagram.com/p/CBuC_V1psW8/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Many agreed the video was in poor taste considering her pending criminal case and definitely bad timing. Also in addition to being the daughter to the one of the greatest boxer's in history, Yaya Mayweather is also a rapper and social media personality with over 1 million suspected followers on Instagram. In 2018 she released the music video of her song ‘Oh Okay Remix’ on ‘YouTube’ which received mixed reviews. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu-LQNVH59i/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Outside of her currently emerging legal woes, Iyanna Mayweather better known as "Yaya" is known for her lavish lifestyle, in particular the expensive gifts she receives on her birthday to this day. According to Iyanna, she is extremely spoiled by her father. Iyanna is the daughter of American boxing legend Floyd Mayweather, Jr. and his former girlfriend, Melissa Brim. Melissa owns a boutique in Las Vegas. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bmwz9d7AZZ5/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link The couple has been in an on-and-off relationship. Read the full article

#LapattraLashaiJacobs #NbaYoungboy #tiktok #YaYa #YaYaMayweather

[algecirasweather]

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More info Clicks helpsforpc.com

[okimargarvez]

METEOROLOGY- Hurricane

Original title: Meteorology.

Prompt: climatic metaphors, phases of love.

Warning: none.

Genre: drama, romantic, comedy, angst, family, friendship.

Characters: Luke Alvez, Penelope Garcia, BAU team, Phil (Luke’s partner), Phil’s wife, Roxy, Derek Morgan.

Pairing: Garvez, Phil x Lucille.

Note: Multichapter.

Legend: 💏😘😈👓🔦🐶❗👨‍👩‍👧‍👦💍🎈.

Song mentioned: Via con me, Paolo Conte.

Meteorology- Masterlist

MY OTHER GARVEZ STORIES

-FOG -RAIN -CLOUD -HAIL -THUNDERSTORM -SUN

I'm trying not to think that tonight (tomorrow morning for me) we'll have a new episode.

I'm not sure that you'll like this chapter. The next will be more full of love.

HURRICANE

Hurricane uproot the trees that don't able how to bend. (Valeriu Butulescu)

 Shadows have more and more weighing on your relationship, while time passes and passion leaves room for habit. It's no longer so exciting to receive his constant calls, even though the times when he forget to warn your that he's still alive and well, or much more often there is no camp, because more is out of control the unsub, more must be isolated, impervious and dangerous the place where the criminal lives ... in short, when he doesn't call you, leaving you in anxiety, you get angry with him. But if he does it more than twice a day, you accuse him of being stressful, of being behaving obsessively.

Even his jealousy is reflected in this direction. If before it was even a reason, a pretext to end up under the blankets, letting him demonstrate to be the only one capable of touching you in a certain way, grabbing you firmly and almost abruptly, acting of the role of "true" male, hunter and conqueror of the prey ... now it's just a further nuisance, a proof that he doesn't trust you. And you don't like above all his tone, which he presupposes, in fact, places it there as ascertained fact, that you go explicitly to look for occasions to make him angry, to make you look in that way, to flirting with anyone, almost you hadn't that only purpose in your life. And it offends you even more if you think of the compliments he had made at the beginning of this story, how he emphasized how much he liked to be among the few elected to know the true essence of your soul. Not a crazy showoff who with his own phrases and attitudes did anything to be always in the spotlight, but a fragile, insecure woman whose soft armor was covered with cracks, whose smile concealed unimaginable suffering.

-But when it was with you, that I filtered, it went well to you, you did not complain. And even my madness was fancied you, do you remember that if we had waited for you, would we still be there, out of that toilet? - pain and anger wagging all to you seamlessly, almost you don't realize. You push him away several times, kicking him out as he tries to embrace you, then, when he repent of the words he said.

But the culmination comes a day when he enters your bunker, as usual without knocking, and finds you in compromising attitudes, of course this is his words, with your colleague as well as ex-boyfriend, Kevin Lynch. In the presence of man, he pretends to be almost human, but you see fire in his eyes, you can even recognize the slightest change in the nuance of his tone. When the third uncomfortable came out, he starts to mumble, going very close to the real insult.

And it is in that instant that you explode and let’s escape a sentence you really think, useless after you pronounce it accusing the nervous for the sins that are just yours or deny it. -Where is the man I fell in love with?- the shock is such that he can't find a better solution than fleeing.

That night she does not come home, though it's his house. But before you can think that he it's in the arms of another, as your fantasy was convincing you to believe, someone else can tell you that it's not so. Phil sends you a message, begging you not to let Luke know it, because he would be considered this like a betrayal.

The next morning, he looks like nothing happened, he's just a little colder than usual, especially since you don't help him, you do nothing to make things easier; if he wants to behave like a child, he's free to do so. Go for normal days, peaceful with some flurry even positive.

Then, when everything seems quiet, you decide it's too quiet. You begin to tell him more and more often how tedious it0s to spend time with him, that however you two never done anything apart from having sex (this is the exact term you use) and you also let him know not so much veiledly that you no longer feel the same desire, although he remained the handsome man he was when you met him. Every touch from him is annoying, it doesn't make you feel loved, rather worn, to come to the only purpose he really cares about. And the very rare occasions when you are give off libido from all the pores, he's not there, or he arrives late, when your bit of itch have just fallen asleep.

Then this leads to frustration by both. But not just that.

It also begins to be reflected in the other spheres, in addition to the private one, or on your workplace performance. Whenever he asks a question, you ignore him and only respond when it's another person to repeat it. Your coworkers make look the other way for a while, but at the end Prentiss is forced to have a four-eyed meeting with both, but in separate moments.

-What's going on, Garcia? Are there any problems with Luke?- the brunette can't avoid seeing you as one of her best friends, as well as being your employer. But your profession is too important to be compromised by bickering among lovers and you know it perfectly.

Regarding to admit it, it's another story. -No, that is, yes. He's unbearable. He does everything to irritate me, he doesn't like anything about what I do. He always has to complain about everything. - you don't notice the frowning and silly expression that you let go while you lament about your boyfriend, until Emily fails to laugh in your face. -Do you find it so fun?- but you can't be bitter also with her.

-Actually, yes.- she admits in all sincerity. -All the couples face the storm sooner or later.- She merely exclaims a catchphrase. -It's also happened to me and Mark.- she reads the question in your eyes. -How did we overcome it? Clinging us that we love each other and that this should be the only thing that counts in a relationship, even if it's never that easy.- she sighs, turning a ring that only now you see that hangs on a necklace on her neck.

-Emily… he… he asked you…- you're speechless in the face of the discovery. The woman, famous for well-known for her tendency to keep her own private life, blushes and looks away, clearly emotional. She just nods. - It's fantastic! Have you already decided the date?- you can't even conceive it: Prentiss getting married. Prentiss in white dress.

-No, we haven't decided yet.- after a last, embarrassed smile, you remember why you're in her office now. -Garcia, I love you and also Alvez, but if your relationship jeopardizes the harmony of unity ... - she leaves the threat pending, because she doesn't want to get to that point. You don't say a word. She takes your hand, another gesture that you couldn't call "not of her", rather rare, on her part, and for this very precious. -You can totally see that you love him. And looking at how he looks at you, it's clear that not even his feelings have changed for you. So, please, give him and also yourself a moment and leave your problems home. Here you both are just two colleagues. Nothing more. Did I explain it?- you nod, still feeling her words about the obviousness of Luke's love for you.

 -Emily is getting married!- it's the first thing she tells you, without even greet you when you come home, your "home", however, is the apartment where you lived alone on your arrival at Quantico and this you realize begins to weigh to her more and more, makes her feel a guest, an outsider or worse. You're tired, you have landed very recently, you have two deep dark circles that testify that during your mission you slept sporadic, assume that you did.

You turn to look at her. Penelope is lying on the bed, the blanket slightly fall, her warm and soft body is the only thing you would care at this time. But she continues to blather, about possible wedding gifts, find a day to choose the damn dress, alert Derek but you can concentrate only on the movement of her lips. You silence her with a fiery kiss, of those you exchanged at first, but if she firstly seem to let herself go, after a few seconds she pushing you away abruptly, maybe because your hands were not really in their place, but ended up from her back on her bosom. But it's my damn girl, you think, feeling nervous and the resulting headache increasing.

-Is that all you think about!- she cries, not even you had try to rape her. Because seems that's what she wants you to believe. Her lower lip tremble, her eyes are watery and her arms tight to protect herself. -It's the only thing that matters to you!- she raises, lowering his gaze and covering himself with the blankets.

-It's not true. - you lie only in part. But after a bad case like the one you just came from, what you're going to deserve is a girl who defuse the tension, not that intensify it.

-You didn't even hear a word of what I was saying to you. I'm wrong?- from fragile and timid, she goes back ironic, in the bad sense. It is the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back. You force her to get out of the warmth of blankets, you're still fully dressed in work clothes and you feel dirty everywhere, inside and out, as well as cold. And you also force her to stand, holding her for the wrists without worrying about hurting her. It's the first time that you pose the dilemma if this attitude can be compatible with the unmistakable fact that you love her.

-Is this what you want?- you ask, kneeling in front of her and continuing to hold her by the hand, in a parody of the most trivial of the modality of proposal. -Do you want me to marry you so that you can finally feel accomplished, complete, in the eyes of others?- you didn't have to say that, you notice it from her shocked and disappointed expression. But instead you had to do it or you would never have come out of this limbo.

She takes a dress from the closet, your closet, which is now invaded by her colorful clothes, rather than from your darkness dresses and she vanishes into the bathroom. When she emerges, she grabs the bag and leaves the apartment. You don't even try to stop her. You don't follow her, not remember her that taking a taxi at this hour of the night isn't really the best.

And she doesn't come back at this home.

On the other hand, you both become actors Oscar-worthy. When you're together with others to discuss a case, the only times you see each other and never on your own, you show the maximum of professionalism and no more incidents happen, so that Emily takes you aside to compliment to you and she express her joy that everything came back as before, even because you're a too beautiful pair, you love each other too much for not being together and happy.

Find out you don't miss her how much you believed, don't see her when your return every night. Don't have someone into the bed, not that it's so hard to replace her, you get proposals from other girls all the time. It's Roxy, with her melancholy attitude, to remind you of her constantly.

Because her things, all she had brought to your apartment, disappeared with her; the day after that "discussion" a key shone on the bedside table, the one you give her when you decided to live together.

The day you broke up?

This is the question that shivers in your head when you see her coming out of the elevator while she talks and laughing with a younger man of you and obviously attractive, then he takes another direction respect to her. She passes in front of you and you follow her, entering in the final in her office and closing the door behind you. She looks shocked. -What are you doing, Alvez?- you ignore her distant and angry tone; actually, you suddenly feel a strong wave of desire. For far too long you not to feel her shapes upon yours, and maybe she's right, that's the only thing you really care about. You smear her against the wall. Penelope tries some weak protests, but already you recognize those nuances that indicate that she isn't indifferent to the situation as well.

-I don't like to see you flirting with another man.- you make it clear to her with a snarl.

-But ... but ...- she tries to speak without getting any results.

-Neither of us put the world “end” to this story.- you say before laying the lips on hers for first time. Like a punch on full in the stomach you understand that you just have teased yourself: you missed her in whatever way, and the life without her next to you, at every trivial moment, has returned to being flat and gray. After some hesitation, she responds to the kiss. -Come back and stay with me. Roxy is no longer the same, without you.- you whisper. Then she captures your mouth with hers.

-No.- she answers though, at the end of the effusion. -I don't go back to that apartment. I don't feel comfortable there.- she says simply. -This's the only clause on which I'm not willing to discuss.- and she sounds resolute, sensible, rational. It's your turn to nod. You already know what you must to do.

You lay your forehead against hers, completely capturing her gaze, as her convictions waver, now that you are so close to her. -Do you know any interesting real estate agencies?- she smiles as she heard the question.

-Yes, but we'll think about it later.- she says, then you pick up where you were interrupted and so, after a month of abstinence, end up making love in her bunker, in the daytime, while outside the others continue to work completely unaware what is happening inside. _______________________________________________________ @itsdawnashlie @talesoffairies @martinab26 @reidskitty13 @courtneyxoxo1 @thinitta @janiedreams88 @redthebrunette @rkt3357 @criminalmindsbul @kiki-krakatoa @entireoranges @silviajajaja

#garvez #penelope garcia #luke alvez #garcia x alvez #luke x penelope #hurricane #meteorology

[bananaipindia]

Lauren Conrad Sued Over Infringing Photograph, Russian Internet Firm Sues Twitch, Court Orders USD 1 Billion Penalty for Cox Communications and more

New Post has been published on https://www.bananaip.com/ip-news-center/lauren-conrad-sued-over-infringing-photograph-russian-internet-firm-sues-twitch-court-orders-usd-1-billion-penalty-for-cox-communications-and-more/

Lauren Conrad Sued Over Infringing Photograph, Russian Internet Firm Sues Twitch, Court Orders USD 1 Billion Penalty for Cox Communications and more

Lauren Conrad Sued Over Infringing Photograph; Russian Internet Firm Sues Twitch; Court Orders USD 1 Billion Penalty for Cox Communications; Copyright Infringement Lawsuit Filed Against Makers of Music Documentaries; MJ’s Estate Settles Copyright Infringement Lawsuit Against Disney; Crackdown on Bombay Pubs Playing Copyrighted Songs Without Licence and more.

Entertainment Law News

Lauren Conrad Sued Over Infringing Photograph

Reality TV star Lauren Conrad has recently been sued by a photographer named Jason Cook, who claims that Conrad used his picture on her blog, without his permission. Cook has stated that, in article written about yoga teacher Jessamyn Stanley, which was later posted on Conrad’s blog, the latter used a photograph of Stanley that was taken by him. Further, Conrad did not make the effort to get the required license to use this photo, which is necessary, since the photo has already been granted a copyright by the US Copyright Office.

The TV star has blatantly infringed the photographer’s copyright and according to Cook such an infringement is “willful, intentional, and purposeful, in disregard of and indifference” to his rights.” Further, the photographer has stated that he will be seeking damages, an account of profits and in addition to relief the court deems just and proper.

Russian Internet Firm Sues Twitch

Rambler Group, which is Russia’s third-largest internet service provider (ISP), has sued Twitch, the Amazon owned streaming platform, for 180bn roubles (2.1bn Pounds) due to the pirated broadcasts of the English Premier League games. Rambler had bought the exclusive digital distribution rights for the English Premier League this year, for three seasons. The Russian ISP stated that Twitch has allegedly violated its exclusive broadcasting rights more than 36,000 times between August and November. According to Rambler’s terms and conditions, “users cannot share content without permission from the copyright owners, including films, television programmes and sports matches.”

Twitch’s lawyer has denied the allegations, stating that “only provides users with access to the platform and is unable to change the content posted by users, or track possible violations”. Considering that Russia is the third-largest user of Twitch, the streaming service took all the necessary precautions to avoid any violations, prior to receiving any notice from Rambler. This case was heard by the Moscow City Court this month. The Court has ordered a temporary suspension of English Premier League streams on Twitch pending the outcome.

Court Orders USD 1 Billion Penalty for Cox Communications 

In a case decided by the District Court jury, Cox Communications, the American Company that provides telecom and other services, has now been ordered to pay a penalty amounting to USD 1 billion in a copyright infringement case. This dispute is the result of an ongoing struggle that music publishers and music record companies have been facing for a long time now, with regard to pirated content.  Since the last couple of years, record labels have been suing Internet Service Providers (ISP) for not removing music pirates from their services, however, after the order granted in the present matter, the record labels seemed to have scored a win.

Cox Communications was held liable for piracy infringement of more than 10,000 musical works, and was ordered to pay damages to Sony Music, Universal Music Group, Warner Music Group and EMI. With this win the recording industry has proved that “a jury will buy its argument that an ISP should be held liable for failing to kick a music pirate off its network.”  The American Company, has stated that it will appeal this decision. This lawsuit is not a first of its kind for Cox Communications, as previously telecom company was ordered to pay USD 25 million in a copyright infringement matter filed by BMG, the German music company. BMG filed the lawsuit only after Cox Communications ignored repeated copyright infringement warnings from the copyright enforcement company Rightscorp, following which the decision was granted in favour of BMG. “This decision was later reversed on appeal, but prior to the retrial Cox Communications paid out a settlement to BMG.”

Such copyright infringement lawsuits have been filed against other ISP’s as well, and the order granted in the present matter gives hope to the recording companies that the rulings granted in those lawsuits will also be similar.

Infringement Lawsuit Filed Against Makers of Music Documentaries

A new lawsuit recently filed in the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York carries accusations of copyright infringement against the producers of documentaries centred on rock bands such as ABBA, Nirvana, Lynyrd Skynyrd and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The defendants include Coda Publishing, Vision Films and director Robert Carruthers.

The plaintiff companies, including Universal Music Group, Polygram, and ABKCO Music & Records, that own the rights to the songs, described the documentaries made on artists such as The Rolling Stones, U2 and Elton John as “nothing more than a delivery system for intentionally infringed materials.”

The plaintiffs are seeking a declaration that the defendants wilfully infringed copyrights, an order to destroy all copies of the films, as well as statutory damages of up to USD 150,000 per infraction or actual damages plus any profits the defendants made from the films.

 MJ’s Estate Settles Copyright Infringement Lawsuit Against Disney

In 2018, Michael Jackson’s estate had sued Disney in the Western Division of the U.S. District Court for the Central District of California, alleging that a documentary, The Last Days of Michael Jackson, was broadcast without the estate’s consent to use the singer’s songs and imagery.

In its complaint, the estate noted the irony of Disney’s copyright infringement, given that its “zeal to protect its own intellectual property from infringements, real or imagined, often knows no bounds.” Consequently, the estate stated they were “genuinely shocked.” While Disney took the defence of the fair use doctrine, it removed certain imagery from the film a few days before its broadcast.

The trial that was scheduled to begin this month has been dismissed by court upon a formal request by Jackson’s estate post a settlement between the two parties. Thus far, neither party has commented on the settlement. Jackson’s estate may now expect to face fresh lawsuits under a new California law that gives victims of child sex abuse additional time to file claims.

Crackdown on Bombay Pubs Playing Copyrighted Songs Without License

Bombay High Court had passed an order restraining over 600 hotels, restaurants and pubs from playing copyrighted music during New Year’s Eve celebrations without having licence to play them for any commercial purpose. The petitioners, Phonographic Performance Limited (PPL) and Novex, own public performance rights of songs. It remains disputed as to whether assignees like PPL and Novex have the right to collect royalties.

The Madras High Court had also put in place similar restraints upon a petition by Indian Performing Right Society Limited, the only registered copyright society under the Indian Copyright Act.

  Authored and compiled by  Neharika Vhatkar (Associate, BananaIP Counsels) and Tanvi  Chaturvedi (Legal Intern)

The Entertainment Law News Bulletin is brought to you jointly by the Entertainment Law and Consulting/Strategy Divisions of BananaIP Counsels, a Top IP Firm in India. If you have any questions, or need any clarifications, please write to [email protected]  with the subject: Entertainment Law News.

Disclaimer: Please note that the news bulletin has been put together from different sources, primary and secondary, and BananaIP’s reporters may not have verified all the news published in the bulletin. You may write to [email protected]  for corrections and take down.

#Celebrity rights #Copyright Infringement #Intellectual property law #Media and Entertainment Law