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praxeus-13 · 2 years

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(Ao3)

Pairing: 13th Doctor/Yaz

Word Count: 1050

Summary: Set after Flux/before EOTD, Yaz decides to get a haircut and The Doctor has a gay panic

Warnings: None :)

A/N: I’ve had this idea in my head since Mandip got her haircut, but I finally got the chance to write it down!

Yaz needed a fresh start, of sorts. After spending 4 years stuck in the 1900’s, feeling like she was constantly getting nowhere, and eventually finding The Doctor by sheer luck, Yaz felt like she was stuck. Stuck in an in between moment in her life, the moments between one big event and the next, a sort of limbo that left her feeling confused and unfulfilled. In the week since the Flux had been stopped, Yaz had been contemplating ways in which she could motivate herself in some way, get her brain to realise she was moving between chapters in her life, that whatever happened in the coming days/weeks/months was going to be different from what had happened in the past four years.

So, on an impulse, Yaz went to the hairdressers and cut her hair.

Looking in the mirror now, Yaz knew that she liked her new haircut. It helped her to feel new, fresh, and ready for whatever the universe was going to throw at her next. However, she also felt the tiniest hints of regret. Her parents had liked it, they’d both complimented her, even her sister had told her it looked nice (which was about as good a compliment as she was going to get out of Sonya). Still, she was worried about what other people would think. What The Doctor would think.

Yaz was unsure as to why she was so worried about The Doctor’s reaction (or rather, she was sure, but she was suppressing and ignoring that information as much as possible - Yaz was not ready to deal with those emotions). As she stood with her bag waiting for The Doctor to come and pick her up, she couldn’t help the nerves she felt. Then she heard the familiar groans of the TARDIS and, before she could give it a second thought, Yaz picked up her bag and walked out of her flat towards the TARDIS.

As soon as Yaz saw the TARDIS she grinned, she had missed The Doctor all those years, but she had missed the TARDIS as well. It had become a symbol of hope and happiness for her, and the site of it had never failed to lift her mood. Semi-surprisingly, The Doctor was not standing in the door waiting for her, though the TARDIS still opened for Yaz as soon as she placed a hand on the door. Entering the ship, she heard it let out a joyful-sounding warble and, not for the first time, Yaz found herself wishing that she could understand this beautiful machine in the same way that The Doctor could.

Of course, The Doctor herself seemed to be sticking herself into the endless repairs yet again. Yaz could only see her back, as the rest of her was covered by the console. She took a second to just take in the moment, it was a familiar sight on the TARDIS, but after so many years Yaz had missed all the little moments like this.

“What’re you working on this time?” Yaz asked as she started to approach The Doctor, sudden curiosity about the TARDIS maintenance and controls taking over. She had learnt a lot in the year after Graham and Ryan left, after she had managed to convince The Doctor to teach her how to fly the ship, but she was a tad more than rusty these days.

Unfortunately, it seemed that The Doctor hadn’t actually heard her enter the TARDIS as she jolted once Yaz spoke, and ended up whacking her head on the bottom of the console.

“Ow.” The Doctor rubbed her head, and Yaz tried to hold in her laughter at her friend’s clumsiness.

The Doctor seemed to hear the soft snort that Yaz had let out when she had hit her head, and turned around to glare at her friend. Though Yaz decided to take pity on her and held out her hand to help The Doctor up off the floor. Still trying to stop herself from laughing, Yaz’s gaze remained on the floor until she had regained some seriousness again. Finally trusting herself not to laugh, she looked up at The Doctor, only to find the woman staring at her with what she could only describe as an awe-filled expression. For a moment Yaz found herself staring back at her friend with confusion, unused to having The Doctor look at her like this and unsure of what to do.

“What?” She asked nervously, wondering why her friend was looking at her like that.

“Your hair.” The Doctor mumbled, still caught up with staring at her.

Of course, in the few moments since entering the TARDIS Yaz had forgotten about her haircut, though now all the attention seemed to be on her hair she felt herself become a lot more self-conscious.

“Oh, right, yeah I uh, I just felt like a bit of change…”

Yaz wasn’t sure if The Doctor had even heard her, as she was still staring at her. Yaz tried to ignore the fact that she was blushing.

“Do you like it?”

That seemed to snap The Doctor out of her trance, finally making eye contact with Yaz, who suddenly felt very overwhelmed at the situation.

“I love it, you look… you look amazing Yaz.” The Doctor spoke softly, and Yaz was desperately trying to suppress the rush of emotions that were pushing themselves to the surface.

Coughing to try and pull herself together, Yaz just about managed to mutter a thank you as she took a step away from The Doctor before she did anything stupid. The Doctor seemed to catch on to what Yaz was doing, and she clapped her hands together before turning back around to the TARDIS console.

“Right, what do you say, pop back to Liverpool to visit Dan? I think he’s earned a trip of two in the TARDIS after helping us with the Flux.” The Doctor grinned at her, and Yaz couldn’t help but return her own smile.

“Sounds perfect. Need a co-pilot?”

“Of course!”

Eagerly, Yaz took her place at the console, finally feeling at home by The Doctor’s side again. As they set off, Yaz couldn’t wipe the grin from her face, her life was back to normal, back to what she loved, and she couldn’t be happier.

#thasmin #13th doctor x yaz #13th doctor x yasmin khan #thirteenth doctor x yaz #thirteenth doctor x yasmin khan #doctor who fics #doctor who fanfic

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praxeus-13 · 2 years

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Living In The Present

(Ao3)

Pairing: 13th Doctor/Yaz

Word Count: 3600

Summary: After the Sea Devils, The Doctor and Yaz try to continue on with their friendship as usual. However when Yaz is badly injured on an adventure, The Doctor starts to question what living in the present actually means.

Warnings: Minor description of injuries and references to an explosion. Also LOTSD spoilers

A/N: I said I was going to post a fic this week and I am (even if I’m posting it on the last day of the week). I wrote this fic as therapy for myself after LOTSD, but I thought you guys might appreciate it as well. Also thanks for 100 followers I love you all!!!!!

This was not how this trip was supposed to go.

It was supposed to be a nice, calm adventure, with minimal danger. It was not supposed to end up like this.

The Doctor’s thoughts swirl around in her head like a hurricane as she runs through the abandoned halls of the spaceship. Dan is running alongside her, though she barely even registers his presence, her mind is focused on getting to Yaz.

Don’t let it be too late, please don’t let it be too late.

She rounds a sharp corner, nearly causing Dan to crash into her, though neither of them pause for a second.

This is my fault, this is on me.

Yaz had been her companion since The Doctor had regenerated, she had been one of the first people she had met. Over time Yaz had proved herself again and again to be a competent, strong woman, and The Doctor couldn’t have been prouder. Unfortunately, this had led her to forget the most important factor.

At the end of the day, Yaz was still a human.

Just hang on Yaz, I’m coming for you.

She rounds another corner, only two more to go before she’s there. Her legs are starting to burn, and she hears Dan falter slightly, still they both keep up their pace. Neither of them are going to slow down, neither of them are going to stop, not until they get to Yaz.

By the time they get to the primary hangar Dan is wheezing for breath, and The Doctor can tell that she wasn’t far away from having her respiratory bypass kick in. They don’t pause though, immediately starting the search for Yaz.

“YAZ?” The Doctor’s voice breaks as she calls out, both of them are quiet for a moment as they hope to hear a response, though no noises greet her call.

“YAZ?” Dan calls this time, though there’s still no reply.

The hangar is in quite a state, and a fair chunk of the floor is covered in large bits of debris. The Doctor desperately tries to calm herself, but she can’t. Yaz is somewhere in this mess, almost definitely hurt, possibly- she can’t even bring herself to think about it.

Should have kept Yaz with me, shouldn’t have let her go off on her own.

Her mind flashes back several minutes to when she and Dan had been working on the navigation systems, desperately trying to reroute the ship, Yaz had been on speakerphone while they worked. The passengers on the ship needed to be evacuated off, just in case they weren’t able to get the ship back on course, and Yaz had volunteered to help them.

The Doctor still isn’t sure why she’d said yes, she’d been trying to keep Yaz closer to her recently, but she had always had a hard time saying no to her. At the time it had seemed harmless, she would be getting passengers off the ship, she’d even be able to evacuate quickly if the need arised. Now The Doctor was deeply regretting her decision.

Yaz had called her, and The Doctor had thought nothing of it, they’d already made arrangements for Yaz to call once everyone was safely off the ship. However dread had immediately pooled in her stomach the moment that Yaz started going off about evidence for sabotage, how she thought that the malfunctions were planned, how she thought someone was attacking the ship. The Doctor’s mind had started to race, connecting the dots alongside Yaz, and then there was an explosion.

She and Dan had called out for Yaz at the same time, but the line had gone dead. Neither of them had hesitated as they had started running towards their current location.

Don’t panic, stay calm. Stay calm for Yaz.

“Try calling her phone again,” Dan suggested, and The Doctor hated that she hadn’t thought of it sooner.

Yaz’s contact was still up on her phone, so she pressed call. There were a few beats of silence before they both heard a faint buzzing. The Doctor was extremely glad for her superior hearing, running towards the location immediately.

Please be alright Yaz.

When she finally located the phone, she swore at least one of her hearts nearly stopped beating. Yaz wasn’t there, she wasn’t there and now The Doctor didn’t know where she was. Desperately, her eyes scanned the surrounding area. Yaz had been holding her phone when the explosion went off, she should be nearby.

There!

The Doctor could see a faint patch of brown hidden under a pile of dusty grey rubble, and she ran to it immediately.

Yaz.

She was covered in dust, cuts and bruises, and she wasn’t moving. Instinctively, The Doctor crouched down to check her pulse.

She’s got a heartbeat, good, that’s good.

Quickly, she moved her hand to rest just under Yaz’s nose.

And she’s breathing.

She’s fine, she’s alive.

She’s hurt.

“Is she-“ Dan asked, not being able to finish his sentence.

“She’s alive, just unconscious. I need to get her back to the TARDIS.” The Doctor didn’t look at Dan as she spoke, unable to tear her eyes away from Yaz.

As gently as she could, The Doctor lifted Yaz up into her arms. Rather worryingly, Yaz didn’t move, didn’t even make a noise. Looking over her once more, The Doctor took note of a gash at the side of Yaz’s head that she hadn’t seen before, and her panic intensified.

“Come on.” She told Dan, setting off at a quick pace before he could reply, though she heard his footsteps follow soon after.

Have to get Yaz to safety, I have to make sure she’s alright.

Yaz has to be alright.

—-

Dan was pissed.

No actually, he was more than pissed, he was downright furious.

Yaz had gotten hurt, badly.

Unfortunately, for all he wanted to blame it on The Doctor, he couldn’t. Really, it wasn’t her fault. It could have just as easily been him in Yaz’s position, and just because The Doctor was the one to drag them into these situations didn’t mean it was always on her whenever something went wrong. Afterall, both he and Yaz had known the dangers of travelling with The Doctor when they decided to travel with her.

Of course, that didn’t mean that Dan wasn’t angry with The Doctor at all, just that he wasn’t angry with her due to this particular situation. He had plenty of other reasons to be angry with The Doctor, mainly relating to how she had handled her and Yaz’s feelings for each other. It had been a few weeks since their adventure with Madame Ching and the Sea Devils, and Dan knew that something had changed between the two of them. Though he had yet to find out what the two of them had spoken about on that beach, Dan could take a guess given the way the two of them had been acting around each other.

He could see that they were both hurting, and that they were both still so clearly in love with each other, but Yaz was probably his closest friend at this point - especially now Jericho was gone. He’d do pretty much anything for her, after all he’s pretty sure that he wouldn’t have survived those four years in the early 1900’s without her. Over those years he saw how heartbroken she was after being separated from The Doctor, not knowing her fate. Dan had hoped that when they got back she’d get better, be happier, but during the last few weeks he had seen the same miserable looks on her face. That was The Doctor’s fault, Yaz’s unhappiness was The Doctor’s fault. Of course, Yaz being Yaz, she had tried her hardest to pretend that she was fine, but he was used to her behaviour and he had spotted it immediately.

Now though, with Yaz laying on a bed in the medbay, and The Doctor rushing around frantically trying to ensure that she would be alright, was not the time to yell at The Doctor like he wanted to. He’d been watching her for a few minutes now, and he was pretty sure that she wasn’t doing anything important anymore, merely trying to preoccupy herself while they waited for Yaz to wake up.

“What did you say to her?” Dan asked, as gently as possible.

He didn’t know The Doctor anywhere near as well as he knew Yaz, but he did know that she didn’t react too well to blatant accusations (by which he meant that she lashed out like a feral cat).

At his question, The Doctor stopped in her tracks, and Dan had a feeling that she had forgotten he was even there.

“What?”

“Yaz, what did you say to her on the beach?” Dan could see the way she tensed up as soon as he mentioned the beach, and he knew what was going to happen next.

“I don’t see why that’s any of your business.” Ah, there it was.

“It’s my business ‘cause whatever you said to Yaz had been hurting her. Yaz is one of my best mates, so there's no way I’m gonna sit by and watch her suffer if there’s something I can do about it.” Dan had gotten up from his chair now, and was approaching The Doctor slowly, trying not to scare her away.

“I didn’t- Yaz is-” The Doctor looked over to Yaz with a near heartbroken expression, though it was toned down when she turned back to face Dan. “It’s better this way.”

“How? How is it better? You love her, don’t you?”

“Yes.” The Doctor’s voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.

“And Yaz clearly loves you. So why aren’t you together? You should be enjoying your time together, not wasting it by pretending you’re only friends.”

“This will hurt her less, in the long run. I’m just trying to protect her. If we’re just friends, if we’re not attached to each other, then it won’t hurt as much when-” The Doctor trailed off, her gaze wandering back to Yaz.

“Doctor, she’s already in love with you, the two of you are already attached to each other. The only thing you’re doing right now is giving her even more pain. Yaz isn’t gonna leave you, not by choice, she’s already proven that by sticking by your side despite how shit you’ve been treating her. So whatever happens in the future, if the two of you are separated from each other, she’s going to hurt.” Dan took a breath and moved so that he was in The Doctor’s eyeline, she needed to be looking at him when he said the next part.

“But if anything, she’s going to hurt less if she has good memories to look back on. If she remembers having fun with you, spending time with you, letting herself love you in the way she wants to and being loved back. That’s what Yaz deserves, it's what the both of you deserve. If you carry on with the way things are, all either of you are gonna have to look back on is heartbreak and regret.”

The Doctor seemed to be taking his words in, and Dan could see her eyes filling with tears. Dan could see it on her face, she was realising what was so painfully obvious to him.

“I- I didn’t- I didn’t mean to make her hurt more. I just want her to be happy.”

“Then let her be, choose to be happy with her.”

The Doctor’s focus was back on Yaz, this time with a hopeful look in her eyes, and Dan hoped that she would choose to do the right thing - for both of their sakes.

——

Yaz came to slowly, feeling very groggy and disoriented. She tried to remember what happened, where she was, though all her thoughts quickly became derailed when she heard The Doctor call her name. Forcing her eyes open, Yaz had to stop herself from jumping back when she saw how close The Doctor was to her. Taking in her surroundings, Yaz realised that she was on one of the beds in the medbay. FInally, her eye’s met The Doctors again, and a shy smile grew on the latter’s face.

“Hi,”

“How are you feeling?” The Doctor spoke with a soft voice, and Yaz couldn’t help the way her heart fluttered, even though she’d been trying to suppress her feelings.

“Achy,”

“Do you remember what happened?”

Yaz had to think for a moment, still feeling quite out of it. “There was an explosion right?”

The Doctor nodded, “Yeah, but you’re going to be alright. Most of your body’s already done a good job at healing - with some help from the TARDIS of course. Your head’s gonna take a bit longer, delicate things head injuries, but you should be right as rain within a few days. Right as rain? Why is that a saying? What makes rain right?”

Yaz let out an amused chuckle as The Doctor started to go off on a tangent, but unlike every other time this happened there was a twinge of sadness along with the amusement. Since their conversation on the beach, Yaz had been desperately trying to suppress her feelings in any way she could. If she just ignored them then maybe she wouldn’t feel the heartache as much. So far it wasn’t working, especially since realising that The Doctor still hadn’t told her anything about what happened with The Master on Gallifrey, or what they were doing before the Flux hit. This meant she was now trying to repress frustration as well as love, and despite knowing that she had several people who loved and cared for her she hadn’t felt this bad since she was in secondary school being bullied everyday.

The Doctor had stopped speaking when Yaz had chuckled, now staring at each other Yaz could see that The Doctor was about to say something.

“Sheffield!” Dan startled both of them, and Yaz looked away from The Doctor quickly, hoping that no one would notice the way she was blushing.

“How’re you feeling?” Dan asked her as he placed two cups of tea down on the bedside table, keeping the third in his hands.

“Better than I thought I would after being caught in an explosion.” Yaz joked, missing the way that The Doctor winced.

Dan rolled his eyes, but there was a fond smile on his face, “I’m glad you’re alright.” He looked between her and The Doctor, seemingly realising something, which was never a good thing in Yaz’s opinion (afterall, the last time he had realised something it had led to her heart being completely shattered). “Now I know you’re alright I’m gonna pop off to bed if that’s alright.”

She nodded and he started to make his way out of the medbay, though before he left he gave The Doctor a rather pointed look and Yaz felt a jolt of dread, suddenly worried about what the two of them had talked about while Yaz had been unconscious.

Then the two of them were left alone again, and Yaz wasn’t quite sure what to say - or whether to even say anything - so instead she reached for a cup of tea. Quietly, she takes a sip, only to nearly spit it back out again at the taste.

“Oh that one’s definitely yours.” Yaz giggled as she handed it over to The Doctor, who was laughing a little at her reaction.

The Doctor then took a sip and pulled a face herself, “Not enough sugar actually, it’s much better when you make it.”

The Doctor grinned at her in a way that made Yaz’s heart flutter, and Yaz felt the need to look away. For a moment the two of them just sipped their tea in silence.

“Yaz,” Yaz turned back to look at The Doctor, and saw a nervous look on her face, “Could we have a talk? If you’re too tired that’s fine too of course.”

“Sure,” She replied, trying to calm her nerves as The Doctor perched on the side of the bed, close to where Yaz was propped up with a pile of pillows.

“I’ve been thinking, about what I said on the beach.”

Oh no.

“About how I want to live in the present, and what that actually means.”

No, please don’t kick me off the TARDIS.

“And also, about why I want to live in the present.”

I couldn’t take the heartbreak if you left me now.

“I was doing it to avoid getting hurt, to avoid the both of us getting hurt, and to avoid some things that I’ve found out recently. But I think I’m not doing it right, so it’s just causing us both to hurt more.”

Please, just let me stay with you for a little longer.

“I love you, Yaz, and that bloody terrifies me. I don’t want something bad to happen to either of us, because I think we’d both be in pain. But I think I’m causing more pain by pretending that I don’t love you, by pretending that you’re only my friend when you actually mean so much more to me.”

Yaz couldn’t bring herself to look at The Doctor, terrified of getting rejected a second time, but she couldn’t resist when The Doctor reached out her hand and - ever so gently - titled Yaz’s face up to look at her.

“I want you to be happy, I want us both to be happy, and I think the only way we can do that is by living in the present - properly. I want to spend as much time as I can with you, I want to hold your hand, and take you on dates, and kiss you under every star in the universe.” The Doctor had taken Yaz’s hand in hers now, but Yaz was too stunned to even notice, “I’d understand if you didn’t want to, after how I’ve treated you over the years, but I want a chance to make it up to you. I told you that I wanted to tell you everything and that was true. I want you to know me properly, and if you want to I’d love to hear about what you got up to in those years with Dan and Jericho. You don’t even have to say anything now if you don’t want to, if you need time to think it over.”

Am I dreaming? Is this real?

“I-”

Does she mean that?

“I want to, I really do Doctor, but-” Yaz took a breath, trying to calm her beating heart, trying to find the right words. “I don’t want to say yes if you’re just going to change your mind. I want to spend as much time as we can together. I love you, Doctor, so much, but I can only do this if you really mean it, if you won’t just run off when you get scared.”

Yaz could feel tears forming in her eyes from the outpour of emotions from the both of them, and she could see The Doctor’s eyes mirroring hers. Though when a small smile formed on The Doctor’s face, Yaz felt a burst of hope.

“I’m ready, I won’t run off, I won’t leave you - not willingly. I meant everything I said, I want to be with you in whatever way we can. I love you too, Yasmin Khan.”

Finally, a tear slipped out of her eye, and The Doctor immediately moved to wipe it off her face, though she kept her hand cradling Yaz’s cheek afterwards. Yaz felt her breath hitch as they both, ever so slowly, moved closer to each other.

Their first kiss was delicate, chaste, and short lived - but it was perfect. Yaz felt like fireworks had gone off in her veins, an ecstatic, crackling energy spreading throughout her body.

Wow.

They both pulled back, just enough that Yaz could see The Doctor grinning with an awe-struck look, and Yaz could tell she was looking back at her the same way.

“Was that-”

Yaz knew exactly what The Doctor was going to ask, but she didn’t give her the chance to ask it, immediately going back in for another kiss. This time when their lips met they took their time, losing themselves in the sensations. Yaz had never felt happier, sharing a moment like this with the woman she had fallen in love with so many years ago, who she had barely let herself hope for, was everything she could have asked for. They separated when Yaz felt the need for oxygen, though The Doctor pressed her forehead against Yaz’s and let out a breathless laugh.

“That was…” Yaz trailed off, she didn’t have the words, but she knew that The Doctor would still know what she meant.

“Yeah.”

They sat like that for a few minutes, taking in the reality of the situation, letting their emotions sort themselves out and settle as much as possible. Unfortunately, Yaz felt a wave of tiredness come over her, and she remembered that she was still recovering from a head injury.

The Doctor seemed to sense this as well, “You should probably get some rest.”

Yaz knew she was right, but even after everything that had just happened between the two of them, she didn’t want The Doctor to leave her alone.

“Can you stay? I don’t want to wake up with you gone, I’ll think this is all a dream.”

“Of course.”

It took a bit of shuffling and rearranging of pillows and blankets, but soon the two of them were settled side-by side in the medbay bed. The Doctor was holding Yaz against her in a rather protective manner, but Yaz found herself feeling the safest she had in a few years. Rather quickly, Yaz felt her eyes close and the pull of sleep started to drag her back into unconsciousness.

The last thing she heard before she fell asleep was The Doctor whispering, “Goodnight, my love,” and placing a kiss on the top of her head.

#thasmin #13th doctor x yasmin khan #13th doctor x yaz #thirteenth doctor x yasmin khan #thirteenth doctor x yaz #doctor who fics #doctor who fanfic #lotsd spoilers

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