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eliemo · 3 years

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Permafrost: Chapter 1

Summary: After Virgil agrees to follow Roman into the Imagination, a shift in the weather and an unfortunate misstep sends Virgil plummeting into uncharted waters. If only it didn't take a matter of life or death and a race against time to realize the Prince might not hate him after all.

TW: Drowning, progressing hypothermia, effects of severe cold

Notes: Romantic Prinxiety (pre relationship, they’re pining idiots) Right now I think this will only be a couple chapters, but let me know if I should make a taglist for this story!

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

“This is stupid,” Virgil said for the third time in the last ten minutes. “We’re gonna freeze to death.”

It was very clearly pissing Roman off, and if he wasn’t so miserable he’d be grinning like an idiot at the Prince’s clear exasperation. “We’re not going to freeze. Don’t be dramatic, Negative Nancy, that’s my thing.”

Virgil scoffed, glancing up at the expanse of snow covered trees towering overhead, branches bare and twisted, coated in sparkling white. It felt endless, everything around them perfectly identical and a little overwhelming.

He shuddered as the wind picked up again, drowning out anything he might have been about to say, and he absently shook off snow sticking to his shoes, really wishing he’d decided to wear his combat boots today.

Then again, he hadn’t expected to be trapped in the Imagination in below freezing weather.

“Let me complain, Princey,” he said, hoping that their familiar banter could make this whole thing suck a little bit less. “You’re the one that trapped me in here.”

“You’re the one that agreed to follow me,” Roman shot back, a little more sharp than Virgil had been hoping for. “You didn’t have to.”

“You invited me. And someone has to make sure you don’t get killed in here.”

“I’m perfectly capable,” Roman said. “The cold is no match for a dashing Prince! Besides, the beast is dead, my realm is perfectly safe when I need it to be- if it weren’t for someone refusing to enjoy the scenery, this might actually be a nice walk.”

“It’s freezing and we have to walk for another hour,” Virgil argued. “How the hell am I supposed to enjoy this?”

It hadn’t been snowing when they’d first stepped into the Imagination, some two hours ago now. It had been warm and sunny, the world around them lush and green, bright and inviting as Virgil followed Roman on his apparently routine adventure.

He hoped it hadn’t been obvious how excited he’d been when Roman had asked him to come along. He and the Prince had never been close, (that was putting it lightly, Virgil was all too aware of how much Roman hated Anxiety) but ever since Virgil had revealed his name things had been...better.

Not great, nowhere near perfect, but better. Their fights had started to devolve into banter, and Virgil found he actually enjoyed talking to Roman now. He wasn’t reduced to a villain anymore, and he’d never actually realized just how much he hated the tight feeling in his chest when Thomas had always dismissed him as the bad guy. He’d been pushing the hurt down for so long and now…

Now wasn’t the time to think about it. Now was the time to focus on moving forward, as shaky as the progress was sometimes. It was still progress.

Virgil knew Roman didn’t like him, and he probably had no intention of even being real friends, any effort to be polite for Patton and Logan’s sake only.

Which Virgil might have been able to live with, if he hadn’t recently figured out that he really, really liked Roman.

He’d sort of...not actually hated the Prince for a while now, just another hopeless, gnawing feeling that drove him to consider ducking out in the first place.

The feelings had come out of nowhere, slowly sneaking up on him and only growing now that they were closer, and he still wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about it.

The things Roman did that Virgil had once thought were annoying became...begrudgingly endearing. His rants, his dramatic gestures, the constant singing and humming under his breath...it was all so stupidly charming. Roman was funny and kind and passionate and brave and...and Virgil might have developed a little bit of a crush.

Dammit.

He knew nothing would come from it. He could be pretty stupid, but he wasn’t stupid enough to think otherwise. Roman had declared him an enemy since day one, and Virgil was just beginning to hope the Prince might actually tolerate him enough to call him a friend. Just a friend.

But Roman had invited him into the Imagination today, to be an extra set of eyes while he slayed the monster patrolling the realm, and Virgil had agreed without a second thought. If he and Roman could just learn to coexist...Virgil didn’t need anything else. Anything was better than being hated.

And having Roman as a friend was far from the worst thing in the world. It still gave him the Prince’s smiles, his laughs, and his company.

That being said, trudging through the snow and freezing his ass off for the next hour was not how he’d like to be spending the day. Why couldn’t Princey invite him to do something normal like watching a movie?

“Aren’t you supposed to be Creativity?” Virgil called over the wind picking up. God, it was cold. “Why can’t you just change the weather back?”

Roman had his back to him, keeping a few paces ahead, but Virgil could practically feel his eye roll. “I don’t control the weather here. Thomas does.”

“Thomas?”

“Not intentionally,” Roman said. “When it’s snowing like this, it probably means he’s worried or…or stressed about something.”

Virgil didn’t miss the slight hesitation, the way Roman glanced back at him, and he instinctively hunched his shoulders and pulled his hood tighter around himself.

It wasn’t his fault. He knew everyone liked to point fingers and place the blame on Anxiety whenever Thomas wasn’t feeling his best, but Virgil wasn’t here to hurt him. He just wanted to help, and he’d been trying so hard to be better lately, but he still managed to be the bad guy.

He opened his mouth to mutter an apology the Prince would probably only scoff at, but Roman beat him to it.

“Ignore that,” he said quickly, tone suddenly nowhere near his usual bravado. “I didn’t mean to imply...nevermind. Sorry.”

It was clearly forced and a little desperate, just like it had been in front of the others whenever Roman would catch himself on an insult or a nickname, but Virgil found he appreciated the effort all the same. As awkward as it was.

“It’s fine,” Virgil said. “Seriously, it’s whatever. I’ll...I can check on Thomas when we get back.”

Roman didn’t respond, but he did look over once again to flash Virgil a genuine smile, and he forcibly pushed down the butterflies rising up in his chest. It was just Roman. He was not about to get flustered because Roman had smiled at him.

But maybe it was a sign that they were getting somewhere. Maybe-

“Shit!”

Virgil froze, Roman’s curse almost drowned out by the sudden CRACK that echoed through the snowy forest. A chunk of ice broke under Roman’s boot, just big enough for him to stumble, his leg disappearing up to his knee.

“God dammit that’s freezing!”

“I thought the cold didn’t bother you,” Virgil teased before he could stop himself. He moved to help, only for Roman to hold out a warning hand. “You ok?”

“I’m fine.” The Prince wobbled a bit before he managed to pull his leg up and out of the ice, the soaked and dripping cloth clinging to his skin. “Except that my leg is going to fall off!”

Virgil couldn’t imagine how cold that must be, to feel icy cold wind against soaked clothes, but he could recognize that Roman wasn’t actually hurt or scared, despite the way he’d started shivering a bit. Thank god the water was only up to his knee.

“Stop panicking,” Virgil said, and smirked despite his own rising worry. “That’s my thing, Princey.”

Roman scoffed and shook out his leg, drops of water seeping into the plush white snow. The ice they hadn’t even realized they’d been walking on creaked under the movement and Virgil paled, eyes flying to Roman who quickly noticed the anxious side’s distress.

“Relax,” the Prince said. “It was just a weak spot, and it’s only a couple inches deep. I could reach the bottom.”

“We should still be worried about getting our clothes wet in this weather.” It seemed to have gotten colder, even as Virgil remained perfectly dry. “Didn’t Logan do a whole lecture about hypothermia a few years ago?”

“We’re not getting hypothermia, Panic at the Everywhere. Logan gives a lecture on everything. Worst case scenario is I come down with a little cold, and our dear Patton feels guilty and smothers me for a few days.”

Virgil laughed, carefully stepping around the hole Roman had created. “I’m pretty sure it’s not Patton’s fault you’re so clumsy.”

“No, but he practically forced me to bring you out here.” And just like that Virgil’s good mood was gone, stomach twisting uncomfortably as the words set in.

It shouldn’t be a surprise- of course Roman wouldn’t voluntarily spend the day with him. Patton wanted everyone to get along for Thomas’s sake, and he’d made Roman drag Virgil along like an unwanted nuisance.

“Oh.”

“So if we look miserable enough when we get back, we can coax Pat into making us cookies and hot chocolate,” Roman said, and he didn’t seem to notice Virgil’s shift in mood. “Just try to watch your step, ok?”

Roman clearly didn’t think he had said anything wrong, only scowling at his now soaking wet pant leg before turning to continue forward. He obviously thought Virgil knew this, that he wasn’t stupid enough to think he was actually wanted.

Well, at least Roman was giving him the benefit of the doubt. Even if Virgil apparently was that stupid.

They kept walking, Virgil ending up trailing a bit behind with slightly numb hands stuffed deep into his hoodie pockets. Roman managed to make it even farther ahead, humming some vaguely familiar tune as he watched the snowfall, and Virgil wondered if he should just let the Prince make the rest of the walk by himself, kind of wanting to just lay down and let the snow bury him.

The wind was picking up, and Virgil was clearly finding it more difficult to trek through the snow than Roman was. The Prince didn’t seem inclined to leave him behind though, slowing down and smiling patiently at the anxious side every few moments, letting him catch up on his own time.

He wondered why Roman didn’t just quicken his pace and leave him. It wasn’t like Virgil would go tell Patton just to get him in trouble. As much as it hurt knowing Roman wanted nothing to do with him, that someone had to make Roman spend time with him, it hurt worse to think that the Prince had just been faking it.

He’d thought...God, he’d actually thought they might be getting somewhere. That maybe, maybe Virgil’s feelings for the Prince weren’t as pointless as they’d once been.

The soft little smiles sent his way, the light touches on Virgil’s back or shoulder, the quiet jokes meant just for him, the way Roman’s eyes would linger for just a second…

He noticed it a second too late, caught up in his own head instead of paying careful attention to where he was stepping like he usually would, only pulled from his thoughts by another ear splitting crack as a piece of ice gave way right where he’d stepped down.

It was sudden and loud, and Virgil yelped when he stumbled and fell to the ground, hands losing feeling completely as they grabbed at the snow and his foot disappeared under the ice.

“Fuck- Roman!”

He heard Roman laugh, but it was almost impossible to make out over the howling of the wind and the pounding of his own heart. The water was so cold, (thank god he’d managed to stop himself before it went past his shin) like a million little knives dancing along his skin, paying no mind to what little protection his clothes offered.

“You’re fine,” Roman called, voice small and distant like he’d kept walking. Virgil didn’t dare look up, eyes on the ground beneath his hands. “It’s not deep, Virge, you can stand up.”

Virgil nodded even though he doubted Roman could see it, his voice refusing to cooperate. He squeezed numb hands into shaky fists, took a breath, and pushed himself up to stand on his free leg.

The next moment happened so fast, Virgil didn’t even register that more ice had broken under his weight until he felt himself falling, and suddenly the icy cold water was much higher than just his leg.

It felt like he’d been hit by a bus- a very, very cold bus- and Virgil gasped as all the ice below him gave way, the water rising up to his chest, wrapping around his body like a vice and yanking him forward without warning.

It was like hundreds of frozen hands were grabbing at him and tugging viciously, shoving him along with the water’s surprisingly violent current while trying to drag him down below the dark surface. Virgil barely had half a second to force his arms to move, frantically reaching for the nearest chunk of intact ice.

He couldn’t feel his fingers, and his hands were shaking so bad he almost didn’t make it, but he managed to get a grip on the edge just in time.

He gasped as he pulled himself to a sudden stop against the relentless current, weakening arms protesting the sudden strain, choking and coughing on the frigid water that managed to lap at the corners of his mouth.

“Princey!” he tried to scream, but he could barely hear himself over the roar of the river. The water hurt, the cold seeping into his skin and stealing his breath, and it took all of his quickly fleeting energy to keep holding on. “Roman!”

There was no response, at least not one that Virgil could hear, and he couldn’t bring himself to lift his head to see if help was coming, terrified that if he looked away from his hands he’d forget how to hold on.

He had to strain to keep his head above water, and he felt like there were boulders in his pockets weighing him down. He was left kicking desperately against the water, because it was definitely not shallow enough for him to stand.

Roman had said it was. Roman had laughed and kept walking and he’d...he hadn’t...he hadn’t left, had he? If he’d done this on purpose-

The dread and fear that came with the thought was almost more overwhelming than the thought of drowning, and Virgil squeezed his eyes shut as he tightened his hold, because Roman wouldn’t do that. He may not like Virgil, but he wasn’t cruel. He wouldn’t...he wouldn’t do this.

A grim voice in the back of his head told him Roman wouldn’t care, that Virgil would never be worth worrying about. Maybe it wasn’t the wind and rushing water blocking out the Prince’s voice...maybe he’d really just already walked away.

He choked back tears and put all his fading focus into staying above the water, the current’s pull growing stronger as his kicking became weaker and weaker. He couldn’t keep holding on. It was so cold and he was so tired-

“Virgil!”

Roman? It was so hard to tell for sure, everything distant and hazy compared to the roaring in his ears and his own too shallow breaths.

Oh god, he couldn’t hold on, he was slipping, he was going to fall-

“Virgil! Hold on, I’m coming!” Either that was Roman, or Virgil’s brain was being very cruel to him right before he died. The latter honestly seemed more likely. “Hold on, please just- I’m coming just hold on!”

He couldn’t feel his hands, barely able to comprehend anything around the all consuming pain settled around him like a blanket, leaving him shaking and numb, teeth chattering in his skull louder than a gunshot and he couldn’t do this- he couldn’t hold on he couldn’t-

“Virgil!”

Virgil didn’t even register what had happened, left only to wonder why the strain on his arms had suddenly been lessened for a single blissful second before realizing his frozen hands had slipped from the ice.

There wasn’t time to take another breath, the river seizing its opportunity to rise above his head and push him under the dark and freezing water, everything suddenly horribly silent.

#fanfiction #prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #virgil sanders #roman sanders #ts virgil #ts roman #thomas sanders #sanders sides #hurt/comfort #this fic is so self indulgent you guys #writing

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anxiouslyfred · 3 years

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The Stone Gaze

Summary: Virgil hates that he can temporarily turn people into stone and hopes that whatever the mirror superpower his soulmate has is able to counteract it.

He wasn’t quite expecting the energy and impulsiveness of Remus when they met in an Art Exhibition.

/\/\/\

Virgil hated his powers. He hated a lot of things really, but the power he had was the number one thing he hated and that barely even counted as self-hate or self-deprecation given a lot of the reasoning for it was how his powers impacted his life.

The only time he'd come close to thinking his 'superpower' (as society had deemed things not everybody could do) was when they were studying mythology and had covered Medusa. She had turned people to stone permanently as a gift to protect herself from those who would idolise or attack her. Before they learnt the ending that had seemed like a pretty cool thing to be able to do, but then she was killed as part of a heroes journey and Virgil realised how little people would think of his power should they learn about it. It was mythologically a villains power after all.

Hiding his powers wasn't enough to keep Virgil from the attention of bullies. They picked on him because he always wore his father hoodie after they lost him to illness. They'd call him names because he'd learnt to keep his hair, especially his fringe long enough to cover his eyes so nobody would get accidentally turned to stone. Eventually they'd even harass him to do their homework because his Dad pushed for good study habits.

Refusing to react to their insults or requests only reached the point they tried to beat him up once. When the leader of that group had shoved him against a wall his hair had fallen backwards, leaving a clear gaze directed to the bullies. As soon as the leader became stone the other kids had fled, crying for the teacher to come help.

Virgil's Dad had been called to the school to pick him up and explicitly direct everyone's attention to what had clearly been happening, given the position the boy had been frozen in while refusing to allow any punishment to be given to Virgil. Even once that was accepted by the teachers and school they tried to demand that he wore sunglasses or a visor to school for the safety of staff and children alike.

“I will not police the clothes my son wears because your staff cannot respect someone who doesn't meet their gaze directly. He has found that the long fringe is enough to counteract his powers and given the years he has attended this school without incident that should be perfectly suitable to carry on with.” His Dad has lectured the head teacher that day. He'd given more evidence that Virgil hadn't listened to, but the sentence stuck in his head. Once more his powers were up to him to control and prevent from being used and it felt like an even heavier weight to carry than he'd already found it.

The days of his schooling after that were lonely, isolated as he feared anyone he might befriend would try to meet his eyes. The only hope he had for getting through his life was that somewhere in their world was his soulmate; a person whose powers would mirror his own, and possibly, on the nights Virgil was willing to dream impossible things, counteract his gaze that turned people to stone.

/Over to Remus\

Roman had been the one to bring Remus into exhibiting his work. Honestly, Roman had been the twin to get them both into the art world in the first place. The charismatic, charming artist, whose painting were filled with energy most paintings couldn't capture and dreamt of finding his soulmate. When the art world had discovered he had a brother just as skilled in sculpting they were pulled around and paired together for exhibits constantly.

Remus had originally tried to explain the truth, that their works looked like they held more of life in them because that was what their powers did. Roman could bring paintings to life temporarily, and had often painted portraits of his friends and family so he could still talk to them while they were away. Remus in contrast brought sculptures to life when he touched them with a wish to talk. They'd always be in different positions than he'd awakened them from by the time the power wore off so he got praised for how realistic or believable his positions were.

None of that praise meant anything to Remus though. He sculpted things to feel less alone, to have people to talk to that wouldn't react in disgust or turn away when he said something a little more twisted than society was used to hearing. Each model he made had a mouth to talk and their own way to express their reactions so he could for a while feel accepted by someone other than his brother.

Today he had actually listened to Roman's claims that it's better for their exhibitions when the artist spends times at the display. Of course that didn't mean he was going to dress any differently that normal, just throwing on the torn skinny jeans and an off the shoulder top, with a jacket draped over his shoulders for when the air conditioning got too cold. Art Galleries always seemed to keep the space too cold, Remus swore on it.

“You can't be in here Mate.” An angry voice said, a hand accompanying it yanking him around to face a tall suited man, scowling down at him. “This is an art gallery and I don't care what the fuck you did to sneak in here you're gonna be-”

Remus had already started glancing for a nearby sculpture to reach for when the words cut off. The man whose voice had slowly been raising had now turned to stone, finger raised to point out the door.

“I'm the artist?” He blinked, properly turning now to try and find who else was in the gallery that might have done it.

A few metres directly behind where Remus was, there was a man looking like he would run any second, staring at the floor as though ashamed. “Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.” He mumbled, “The yelling startled me.”

“You're okay, dude. No harm, no wild birds around here.” Remus nodded, reaching back to poke the side of the angry man, focusing on him being alive and calm now.

“Apologies, I probably shouldn't have yelled, but seriously, homeless people aren't allowed in art galleries.” The man who had been yelling declared, having taken a deep breath as the stone released him.

Remus just raised an eyebrow at that. “Just because I haven't dressed all posh like you doesn't mean I'm homeless. And given I'm the one who sculpted most of the statues in this gallery, I believe your judgemental attitude can be taken elsewhere, or shoved up your ass since that seems to be where the rest of your personality is kept. Have your fun in hell, not in my gallery.” He spoke quickly, already directing the man away from the gallery, and nodding to the security guard that wandered between their exhibits.

He didn't delay any longer than that, caring more for the man who had turned him to stone than anything more that could be said. That had to be the complete opposite to his own powers, whether it had been a permanent transformation or just a temporary one, he wanted to know.

Luckily the man was still stood there, blinking at the spot where the angry fellow had been frozen. “He- he shouldn't... That never wears off that quickly.” He was mumbling to himself, not realising Remus had returned.

“Hey there modern day Medusa, you doing alright?” Remus tapped his shoulder, tilting his head when the acknowledgement was for the man to stare at his neck rather than look at him.

“F-fine. Sorry about that though. It really was an accident.”

“Why are you apologising for helping me calm the situation down before he did more than yell? I got him out of the stone and sent on his way. It's all hot stuff in heaven today.” Remus was genuinely confused over what was upsetting the man in front of him. Everything had been sorted out so surely they could move on to talking about soulmates already.

There was a quick glance up, to stare at his ear now, or maybe something over his shoulder. “You got him out of the stone? That wasn't my power just wearing off more quickly than normal?” There was a plea in his voice, as though scared of his own power.

“Yep, and while I can't really prove that here, given everything is already photographed and needs to remain the same to be sold, you can come see my works in progress. I'm Remus, by the way, Remus Windsor.” The offer was easy to give. No matter what people believed about needing to test contrasting powers in public to understand if they're completely opposites, he just wanted to calm this person down. Roman would understand that and hopefully leave to paint in the park or some sappy shit like that.

“Virgil and, yeah, please can we do that?” Virgil nodded, holding a shaking hand out towards him, while the other started pulling the hair that had fallen to his ears back in front of his eyes.

As Remus took his hand he was finally able to meet Virgil's gaze and grinned, tugging on it so they could run out of the gallery together, looking something between art thieves making their escape and teenagers causing mischief.

/To the art gallery\

“Princess, you better get your fat ass and any talking paintings the hell out of here. I've got my Medusa and we need to confirm this shit without an audience.” Remus barged through the doors still tugging Virgil along behind him.

Virgil was astounded by what had occurred in the last hour. He'd only visited the art gallery on a whim, curious over just how lifelike a sculptures positioning could be compared to what he'd seen when accidentally using his own power on people. He hadn't expected to almost add to the exhibition temporarily or to meet someone who could be his soulmate there as well.

Now he could only look around the studio that Remus had explained he shared with his brother. The walls were covered in paintings in various stages of completion. Some looked finished but missing the energy that the paintings back in the gallery had held, others were clearly completely done, but held back. A few canvases were merely sketches or only had their backgrounds coloured in.

Then there was the stone. There were throughout the entire studio several large boulders, some chipped into enough that a hand could be seen reaching out, or the nose of a dog. A few were just legs waving into the air, vague shapes for the rest of the body chipped away but the lips immaculately carved. There was even a potters wheel at the opposite end with a few vases and ceramic models left on a table beside it.

“Remus, seriously, you cannot just kick me out. I'm doing an oil painting.” There was a man identical to Remus stood in front of the only Easel in the gallery, now turned to them frowning with his brush poised to the canvas.

Virgil dithered for a moment before stepping forward. “Oil paints don't exactly dry quickly. You could spare a few minutes for us to figure our if we're soulmates couldn't you?” He muttered, for the first time in years looking up as someone turned to him. He wasn't going to deliberately use his powers without permission now, but having some evidence that Remus actually can reverse the medusa affect straight away would seriously take a weight from his mind.

The painter watched him for a moment before stepping closer, setting his brush down. “I'm Roman. Wouldn't it be more useful for you to prove this on a real person? Although I can understand the uses of turning Remus's sculptures back to stone at will. There's been a few incidents where they've been even worse than he can be.”

“Roman's volunteering to be tortured. Let's do it, see how long we can keep making him stone and real again in quick succession.” Remus stage whispered at him, cackling when Roman flipped him off.

Virgil just nodded, “Only once. I want to know if Remus actually can reverse this.” He cautioned, but turned his head enough to properly meet Roman's gaze, watching as grey stole over his body in a second.

Before Virgil could worry over how Remus would react to seeing that done deliberately, he was leaning forwards to shove his brother backwards, giggling along with the action. Roman was human again by the time he hit the floor, now scowling up at Remus.

“Okay, Rude. I offer to help my darling sibling confirm their soulmate is theirs and you shove me to the floor. I cannot work in such a hostile environment. I'm taking my leave of you, pray it won't be permanently.” He stood up, throwing the glare at them and leaving with all the dramatics of a pantomime dame.

Virgil had to snicker along with Remus as the door was slammed shut. Honestly, half of it was that he had to laugh or he might just burst into tears. In all his wildest dreams he hadn't thought his soulmate would be so excited to have his powers with them.

“Let's try on my figurines! I'm trying to make a dragon witch I can set lose to torment Roman when I'm heading out, and already have my Cthulhu baby, just waiting to be given life. Wanna see if you can turn them back to stone if I wake 'em up?” Remus was once again holding his hand and tugging him to the other end of the room as soon as he finished laughing.

“Before we do that, are you wanting a romantic soulmate, or a platonic one? I don't really care which we have but I'd be happier if we got to know each other first.” Virgil hesitated a moment, tugging back on his arm.

Remus waved off the question. “We'll cross that bridge when we reach it. If you want sex or not I'm making models I can sleep with anyway. They're funny to talk to if they realise how I made their bodies. Come on, meet my Cthulhu baby!” The whine was emphasised by bouncing and Virgil's arm being jumped up and down rapidly.

“Okay, okay, guess that explains why some are so twisted around as though trying to hide their bodies.” Virgil laughed, walking once more towards the table.

Virgil hated his superpower, and probably always would, but perhaps Remus can help him find a couple of things it's good to be medusa for.

#dukexiety #soulmate au #creativitwins #virgil sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders

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averykedavra · 4 years

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Treat Me Like Just Another Stranger

Why do I always end up posting fics at this exact time? Anyway, have some Anxceit post-FWSA because I’m still not done overanalyzing the repercussions of this episode. I also decided to combine this with a Whumptober prompt--I know, I know, it’s mid-October. Better late than never? I’m doing a different AU for each day, so you might see a few more of these prompts in the future!

(Title is from Ignorance by Paramore! You can find this fic on Ao3 here.)

Whumptober Day 12: I think I’ve broken something. (Broken Trust)

Word count: 5719

Pairing: platonic Anxceit

Warnings: self-deprecation, arguing, mentions of manipulation, slightly unreliable narrator, hurt no comfort

Janus liked to play chess.

Of course, the problem was that he had no one to play it with. Patton didn’t know the difference between a king and a bishop. Roman would hardly deign to stoop so low and associate with a villain like him. Logan, despite being skilled, never had enough time for a lengthy game. Remus tried to eat the chess pieces. And Virgil, of course, wanted nothing to do with him.

So Janus played against himself. He pulled out two extra hands, set them across the table from him, and tried to outwit himself. It was always strange, because he could see exactly what he would do next, and had to nonetheless back himself into a corner.

All the other sides were such terrible liars, though, that he’d be able to see their next move regardless. Chess was no fun when the opponent didn’t bother to hide anything.

However, there was something refreshing about playing against himself. No cheats, no tricks, no layered teases to twist the truth into something unrecognizable. It was relaxing and dull and the perfect distraction on long, hot afternoons when Deceit was, once again, shunted to the sidelines.

Janus enjoyed it. Or perhaps he just told himself that, to avoid the sting of playing chess against himself, perfecting strategies he could never use.

It was hard to tell, sometimes, when he was being honest with himself.

On this particular afternoon, Janus had been enjoying feeding Thomas small lies, sweet and tantalizing like dewdrop fruits, leading him astray just a bit so Roman and Virgil could get angry. It was entertaining to mess with them. There was no real harm he could do, no real reason for the lies that edged on desperate--but Janus enjoyed stretching his muscles from time to time. A snake stirring in the depths of Thomas’ mind, lithe and slow and languid, knocking over his own queen.

It did sting, a bit, at how vehement Virgil and Roman were. Janus was only trying to help! What, was Thomas supposed to be honest? “Oh, yes, I was simply monologuing my mental breakdown with the assistance of two invisible aspects of my personality.” Janus was looking out for Thomas, and he had to admit, he was just a bit tired of them shutting down every singular white lie.

Not that he hadn’t expected it. But still.

Janus sighed and captured his own castle.

Eventually, he’d pulled back. He wasn’t going to muscle for a tiny slot in Thomas’ day, and there were smarter ways to get people to do what you wanted, anyway.

Thomas was honest.

Thomas got the guy--yay, good for him, congratulations. Patton was probably throwing a party. Frankly, Janus wished Thomas had gone for someone a little more endorsed in the pecuniary department--or perhaps someone that could forward Thomas’ career. Still, this Nico was cute enough, and Thomas deserved a boy toy after everything he’d been through. Janus didn’t deny him that.

Except he could already see the path ahead of him. The moves every other Side would make, crossing the board and lining up in defense. Roman had said it himself--how could it be true love if the relationship wasn’t based on truth?

Very easily, Janus had almost popped up to tell him. Hadn’t he seen Aladdin? Or Beauty and the Beast? People lied to each other all the time. It was useless getting in a twist about it.

Of course, he hadn’t said that. He didn’t want to ruin Thomas’ moment by getting in yet another fight with his ego. He’d just stewed in silence, staring pointedly at his chessboard and flipping a middle finger in the general direction of Roman’s room.

Unfortunately Roman had summed up the general consensus. If Thomas wanted success in this relationship, he’d have to be honest and up-front about everything. Which, sure, whatever, communication was important or something. But not lying at all? This was some new boyfriend to drool over, not an excuse for Thomas to go cold turkey on lying!

It’d be just the excuse everyone needed, though, to shove Janus back into the dark depths of the Dark Side.

Ugh. Acceptance, like he’d feared, had been a token gesture. He’d given away his allegiance, his position, his name--and it had all been for nothing. He should have known.

Janus took his own bishop, palming it in one gloved hand and resting it on the edge of the mahogany table. The captured pieces were lined up neatly in shades of black and white marble, biggest to smallest. He’d already wiped through half of the board, partly because he kept purposely slipping up to make it more interesting.

He sighed again, for no reason in particular, other than he felt he deserved to throw even a miniscule tantrum about the whole thing. Maybe he was being pessimistic--maybe Thomas would listen to him more, after all. Thomas had lied several times without even thinking. The words had bubbled up, easier than breathing, sweet and sour and slipping from his lips. Janus had never felt as much power as he had these last few weeks. Little lies kept him going, powered him up for the bigger ones. And Thomas was indulging himself.

A beautiful thing, and yet, Janus knew better than to hope.

He was about to corner his own king. If he wanted this game to keep going, he should send the pawn out to front and sacrifice it.

Janus inched his king to the left instead.

Move, move, move.

Checkmate.

He fell back into his armchair with a sigh and tipped over the king. It hit the board with a thud and lay there in defeat. Game finished. And there was no glory in winning, because he’d lost as well, and the whole thing was nothing more than a performance.

Janus swept the rest of the pieces off the board, making a small pile in one corner. Then he set them back up again. He still had a few hours until dinner, and what else did he have to do--he was too itchy and energized for reading, and too stuck in his own head to socialize and argue with the other Sides.

Janus glanced at the plate of wrapped cookies on the nearby table. Patton’s handwriting peeked out at the top. He always wrote Janus with a little flourish on the s, like a snake. And a loop in the J, which made it look almost childish, glowing in blue and inviting him to have a taste.

Janus turned away from the cookies and pushed a pawn two spaces forward.

He missed playing with Virgil.

Something in Janus’ stomach curdled at the blatant truth, but he didn’t shy away from it--who would he be if he did that, if he allowed his own knowledge to become twisted like his words? Instead, he let the thought sit in the corner of his dim room, flickering under the lamps and humming in the silence. Maybe he should turn on the radio. Maybe he should water his plants. Maybe he should take a mid-day nap.

Janus left one of his pawns out for the taking, just so he could swipe it off with his bishop and get a fleeting spike of satisfaction.

Virgil was a terrible player. Virgil barely knew the moves, and he second-guessed himself so much he often undid a move on his next turn. And that made him the best to play against, because try as he might, Janus could never tell what Virgil would do next. If Virgil didn’t know what he was doing, neither did Janus.

Janus always won in the end, of course, but Virgil put up a fight every time.

Something creaked in the corner of his room. Maybe the furniture settling into position. Maybe not.

Janus allowed himself a little smile. Speak of the devil.

He waited for another creak. Instead, there was a shuffle, and a squeak of a door handle. Janus always left his door just a crack open, and that crack had drifted wide, showing a dim hallway and balls of shadows trembling in the cracks.

Janus pushed a piece forward before abandoning the game entirely with a swish of his hand. The pieces tumbled into their spot on the shelf. Janus leaned back. No more creaks, just silence--unnatural silence, the silence of someone trying too hard to be quiet.

“You know,” Janus said idly to nobody in particular, “you’ve always been terrible at sneaking around.”

A moment of silence echoed off the walls, and the door creaked the rest of the way open. Virgil was glaring at him, hands plunged deep in his hoodie, eyeshadow stark black against his cheeks.

“Deceit,” Virgil ground out, not taking a single step into the room.

“Anxiety,” Janus said in a lilting tone. “What brings you to my humble home?”

Virgil shifted in the doorway.

“Did I do something?” Janus batted his eyelashes in faux-innocence. “Why, I never! I do hope I haven’t been accused of anything criminal, dear Virgil.”

“You know exactly what you did,” Virgil said. Each word was biting and snapped-off at the end, like broken pieces of dark chocolate. The bitter kind. The kind nobody ate unless they had to.

Janus loved dark chocolate.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to enlighten me.” Janus folded his hands in his lap and nodded to an empty, overstuffed velvet chair. “Chat? I can get you some tea.”

“You actually think I’m gonna--” Virgil eyed the chair as if it had spikes growing out of the seat.

“Sit,” Janus said firmly, summoning a teapot with delicate daffodils etched on the side. He poured two cups of tea and dropped some sugar in Virgil’s, because Virgil hated sugar and Janus certainly wasn’t going to make this easy on him.

Virgil held out for a second longer before huffing and stomping over to the chair. He flopped in it with such force that Janus feared for the springs. He managed to slouch even further as Janus held out the teacup, taking it in one hand and sniffing curiously.

“It’s poisoned,” Janus said idly, taking a sip of his own. “You’ll be dead in three seconds if you drink it.”

Virgil groaned and slammed the cup onto the side table with such force that tea leaked out and stained the carpet. Janus gave the carpet a betrayed look and it fluffed itself up and became stainless.

“So,” Janus said after another few seconds of Virgil’s glaring, “care to tell me why you’re in such a tizzy? You look terrible, with those bags under your eyes--did you get enough sleep?”

“It’s eyeshadow,” Virgil growled. “You know that.”

“Hmm, I’m afraid not.” Janus took another sip of tea. “From my recollection, your eyeshadow was purple--”

“Yeah, unless I’m on edge.” Virgil’s mouth twisted in a smile. “Sorry I’m not at ease in your freaking evil lair.”

“You can leave,” Janus offered. “We don’t need to talk, I was busy--”

“Yeah, playing chess with yourself like a weirdo.” Virgil folded his arms. “And actually, yeah. We do need to talk.”

Janus raised one eyebrow. “Are you ever going to get to the point?”

“Nico.”

“Nico,” Janus repeated after a few seconds. “Is that your entire statement?”

“You know what happened today,” Virgil continued. “We had everything under control, and you almost ruined it.”

“Ruined it?” Janus pressed a gloved hand to his chest. “On the contrary, Virgil. Who was the one who got us out of trouble multiple times?”

“Me!”

“Oh, yes, you were being so helpful, dragging Thomas around and shoving him back and forth like you were playing pinball.”

“Ugh, can you--” Virgil clenched and unclenched his fists. “I was trying to stop you from messing everything up!”

Janus took a sip of tea and affected a blank expression. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yeah, sure.” Virgil waved a hand angrily. “You were making Thomas lie! Like, every other second! That whole mall trip was chock-full of lying and hiding and pretending and I’m sick of it! We had to talk Thomas out of starting a relationship under false pretenses!”

“So what if he did?” Janus asked, a bit of resentment boiling up in his stomach. “Unlike what our darling Prince says, a bit of deception isn’t the end of the world.”

“Of course you’d think that.” Virgil growled. “Nico’s wonderful. He’s cute and smart and amazing and if you ruin this--”

“Why would I?” Janus asked. “He seems a reasonable fellow, if average.”

“Because that’s what you do!” Virgil burst out. “You ruin everything! And I’m--I’m not gonna let you ruin this!”

Janus quickly smoothed his expression to hide the twist in his gut. “Ah, yes, my only goal--destroying Thomas utterly.”

“You might not mean to,” Virgil allowed, his expression sour and saying the exact opposite, “but you’re gonna. If you keep this up--all the excuses and the pretending--it’s not gonna last!”

“What a shame that would be,” Janus said. He poured himself more tea and stirred some honey into it. “It’s not like we’ve only known him for a day.”

“Yeah, point taken,” Virgil admitted. “I’m not saying he’s the love of Thomas’ life or anything. But--Roman thinks he is.”

There was a long, frozen silence that coiled in the corners of the room and made Janus’ heart squeeze uncomfortably. He stirred more honey into his tea and let Virgil’s words echo around, once, twice, three times.

Virgil’s words could echo more, if he wished. He could cut to the chase and make Janus leave Thomas alone. Virgil was powerful. How had he forgotten that? How had he contented himself to watering down his own contributions, wearing a new outfit and a new look and a new life, as if patches on his sleeve could patch over his identity? Virgil was powerful, and he’d given that up, for what?

Janus would never understand him. He never had.

Once upon a time, though, that hadn’t mattered. They didn’t need to understand each other, they just needed to be there.

There was no one else to be with, after all.

And now Virgil was here, settling for yet another argument instead of taking control. He was sabotaging himself. He was making the game last longer. They both knew each other’s finishing moves, so it was only fair to meet in the middle.

Fair. Life wasn’t fair, and Janus wasn’t fair, and Virgil wasn’t fair, despite his complexion. Patton hated that. Roman hated that. Thomas hated that. But there was no denying that sometimes, you lost a game. Sometimes, you lost more than that.

Sometimes, there was no way out of a conversation, and you just had to make the most of it.

“Roman,” Janus repeated, because why not? Why not speed to the heart of the matter? Get all the cards on the table, everything out in the open. Janus would know what to hide when he knew what was there.

“Roman,” Virgil echoed, his voice softening. “He’s--he’s so excited, Deceit. He finally gets...something. To prove he’s not--”

Virgil didn’t finish the sentence, but Janus could deduce the end well enough.

Not the evil twin.

It had been a low blow, even for Janus, the kind of move he never used. In the end, he didn’t want to win like that, at the expense of a good opponent. There was no fun in a game when the other person forfeited. There was no kindness in that kind of jab.

And he’d done it anyway, of course, because Janus couldn’t stop himself. He always had to win. He’d play against himself, again and again, and he’d win every time.

Lose every time, too, because that was just how it went.

“Don’t ruin this,” Virgil pleaded. “Don’t ruin it, or I swear, I’ll--I’ll--”

“What will you do?” Janus asked, curious for the answer despite himself.

“I’ll--” Virgil’s fist closed. “If I wanted, I could make Patton stay away from you.”

Something went sour in Janus’ mouth. The sweetness of the honey was suddenly cloying. He set his teacup down and pushed it away.

“A low blow,” Janus said idly, folding his hands in his lap. “Not very noble of you. In fact, dare I say it, that’s almost something I would do.”

“It’s for his own safety,” Virgil snapped back, haunches raising. “He doesn’t know who--what you are. You’re gonna hurt him, and he’s just falling for it.”

“Hmm, not giving your friend too much credit.” Janus smirked. “He’s allowed to make his own decisions.”

“Not when you’re around.” Virgil’s glare deepened. “I can’t trust anyone to do anything around you. You’ve got your fangs stuck in everyone, and they might not see it, but I do.”

“Oh, yes, you’re so smart, Virgil.” Janus clapped his hands. “Clearly when you’re the only one who distrusts me, you must be the only person in the right.”

“I’m not!” Virgil said, his voice pitching up. “Roman’s on my side, and Logan--and Thomas, kind of--”

“Sides, hmm?” Janus huffed. “So it’s black and white again. I shouldn’t have expected anything less.”

“You’re on your own side,” Virgil argued, and Janus heard his own words in that, what he’d told Virgil long ago. “Always have been. And I’m on mine. We picked sides, Deceit. There isn’t--there isn’t any turning back.”

“But you’re all about evolution, aren’t you?” Janus lolled his head to the side and smirked again. “Change and growth. Are you saying that--gasp--they’re meaningless?”

“It’s different,” Virgil protested.

“How so?”

“At least I’m not--” Virgil waved his hands angrily. “You hurt Roman, were a jerk to Patton, practically kidnapped Logan, and tried to sabotage Thomas’ chance at a boyfriend! At least I’m trying!”

“You’re definitely trying,” Janus agreed, rolling his eyes. “That’s why you came in here to rant on my behalf and haven’t listened to a single thing I’ve said.”

“I can’t trust you to tell the truth.”

“Then let me say something,” Janus said, an edge growing in his voice. “You aren’t the only one who has opinions, and you certainly aren’t the only one who’s allowed to have a voice.”

Virgil’s lip curled in something that was almost a sneer. “I’m done listening to you.”

“Too bad.” Janus raised a hand. “I could force you to listen to me, or you could do this the easy way and let me talk.”

Virgil held out for a second, before groaning and sinking further into the chair. “Fine.”

Janus nodded and gathered his thoughts. It wasn’t easy. They twisted through his mind and shuddered in the shadows and slipped through his fingers. Lie or truth or lie or half-truth or lie or lie or lie--

He could lose himself, if he chose, in this choice. He could think two moves ahead, three, four, cross and double-cross and double back and stall. Janus always had the option to play it safe, play it fair, play it by ear. And when he knew the world so well, kenw every tilt of the chessboard, it was easy to get swallowed up by every possible choice.

He could placate Virgil with kind words, and perhaps Virgil would listen, or perhaps he would get offended. He could force Virgil to leave, and perhaps Virgil would, and perhaps Virgil would shun him afterwards. He could apologize with all the sincerity necessary, and perhaps Virgil would smile, and perhaps his expression would shutter closed.

He could be honest.

And what did that mean?

How could he say anything more? What did he want from this? What did he expect, for Virgil to back down? There was too much bad blood, dripping from the teacups, staining the floor. Janus couldn’t erase history. He couldn’t scrub out the strongest of facts, the deepest of truths, that ran through his veins like fire, impossible to ignore.

Truth. Virgil was angry.

Truth. Virgil wanted him to leave Thomas alone.

Truth. Janus didn’t want to leave Thomas alone.

Truth. Thomas wanted Janus to leave Thomas alone.

No. Truth? Lie? Something in-between?

Not a full truth, or Janus would already be hidden in the depths of his mind. On some level, Thomas wanted Janus’ help. Maybe he didn’t want to want to. Maybe it was complicated.

Everything was complicated these days.

Yet another thing that Virgil and Roman failed to comprehend. Good and evil were meaningless in the end. None of it mattered. Everyone’s little squabbles would coil into nothingness and alliances would rise and fall. Nothing was perfect, nothing was constant, and nothing was permanent. There was no use throwing a snit about it.

Janus had told himself that ever since the day Virgil left.

And now Virgil was here again, and the truth was that Janus wanted to beg him to return.

Of course, here, he had to be selfless.

“I think you’re overreacting,” Janus said bluntly, and Virgil flinched. “This isn’t the end of the world. You know as well as I do that lying doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. If it did, well, you’d be--oh, is that what you’re saying?”

He expected Virgil to bristle. And Virgil did, for just a second, before his shoulders wilted.

“Yeah, kind of,” Virgil said, his mouth twisting in a bitter smirk and his hands fidgeting with the cuffs of his hoodie. “Kind of. Not...not really, huh?”

Janus raised an eyebrow. “Hmm?’

Virgil sunk another few inches into the chair. “You said it yourself, didn’t you? I’m not--everything I try to be.”

Janus swallowed. Something about seeing Virgil so beaten-down made his stomach turn.

“Of course you’re not,” he said, and his voice came out far too sincere. “No one is. There’s always something better we could be, right?”

Virgil chuckled. “Is that supposed to be reassuring?”

“No,” Janus reassured him.

“Great.” Virgil chewed on his lip. “Any more words of wisdom? Are you gonna, like, defend yourself?”

“No,” Janus admitted, letting out a long breath. “I won’t waste time groveling. I just wanted to say that--you’re going to hurt more people than yourself if you try to stop Thomas from lying.”

“More people than you, you mean?”

“I meant what I said.” Janus pulled at his gloves. “If you recall, such a black-and-white view of selflessness and selfishness always ends well.”

“So we can just...bend the truth whenever we see fit?” Virgil scoffed. “Dude, no. Even you don’t want that.”

“Who says I don’t?”

Virgil paused. “You don’t. That’d be boring, right?”

“Hmm.” Janus allowed himself a smirk. “You have a point.”

“And...you don’t like being in control all the way,” Virgil added, his voice dipping. “I remember. It’s only fun if the opponent has their own agenda.”

Janus’ smirk fell off his face despite himself.

“I...told Thomas it wouldn’t be fair to you,” Virgil almost whispered, his fingers twisted in his hoodie, “to do that. To make you the answer to all his problems. You like being in the shadows, you like having stuff be interested--you wouldn’t want to be the only guy between him and despair.”

“Wouldn’t I?” Janus snapped. He couldn’t help it. Things were drifting into unknown territory and his defenses were rising. Shields up, eyes cold, make his move without hesitation. “Or is it you we’re talking about?”

Virgil flinched, and his eyes hardened. “Not everything’s about me. Or--me and you.”

“I disagree,” Janus said, leaning forward. “It’s always been about us--you’re the one who always makes it about us.”

“Uh, what?” Virgil yelled. “Who was the one who was all I just meant your name earlier? Not me!”

“Because you refused to listen to me,” Janus fired back. “Forgive me for taking drastic steps to keep Thomas safe.”

“Ugh!” Virgil threw up his hands. “It’s always about Thomas with you!”

“You just said the opposite!”

“Look, I don’t know!” Virgil groaned. “I don’t know, okay? You win. I have no idea what’s true anymore and life is a lie, you happy?”

Janus gave Virgil a searching look. “If not everything is about us, and not everything’s about Thomas, what are things about?”

“I don’t know,” Virgil said.

“You’re lying.”

“It--” Virgil took a deep breath. “It’s about us, isn’t it?”

Janus bit back a smile. “Finally. Progress.”

“It’s about us, it’s--” Virgil swallowed. “Deceit.”

“Anxiety.”

“Don’t--” Virgil caught himself, seeming to realize how much of a hypocrite he was being. “It’s about us. We--we have to pick sides.”

“Do we?”

“No.” Virgil sighed. “We have to pick what the sides mean now.”

“Do go on,” Janus said, leaning back. “I’m listening.”

“Ugh, it’s like--” Virgil rubbed at the back of his neck. “It’s like everything’s changing. And you know I hate change. But like, it’s not gonna stop, and to undo the change means more change. I have to roll with it. Which is--weird. And really scary. But...maybe not bad, entirely? Maybe.”

“Don’t sound too optimistic,” Janus teased.

“Shut up,” Virgil complained. “I’m trying, okay? Appreciate it!”

“You’re trying very hard,” Janus agreed. Virgil could figure out whether that was sarcastic or not, because Janus didn’t know. “Things certainly are shifting around here.”

“I’m sure you’re thrilled,” Virgil said.

“Hardly,” Janus said. “It’s so much fun being accepted and simultaneously rejected. Not a perilous position at all.”

Something flashed over Virgil’s face. “Patton likes you, and if Patton likes you--”

“Then Patton likes me,” Janus said, waving a hand. “You said it yourself. He’s a big player, but not the only one. Even a pawn can take down a queen.”

“Chess metaphors,” Virgil muttered. “Nerd.”

“Punk,” Janus fired back, and Virgil almost smiled.

“Anyway, I can dream that Roman will see the light eventually,” Janus said lightly. “You, however, may be too much to hope for.”

“Roman doesn’t trust you,” Virgil said sharply. “Not after all the stunts you pulled. And neither does Logan--heck, I’ve barely seen him since the wedding.”

Janus shifted uncomfortably. He hadn’t expected that much of a reaction from Logan, to be perfectly honest.

“Patton trusts me,” he said, not sure if it was a lie. Virgil’s gaze skittered over to the cookies on the table.

“Patton wants to,” Virgil amended. “So does Thomas.”

Janus steeled himself. “Do you?”

Virgil blew out a breath. “I don’t trust you.”

“Of course you don’t,” Janus said, pretending his voice hadn’t dulled.

“How could I?” Virgil asked, and Janus didn’t have an answer. Virgil was smart. Virgil was whip-smart and fierce and fiery. Virgil knew better than to trust Janus.

“Do you want to trust me?” Janus asked, holding out hope.

“I don’t trust you!” Virgil snapped. “You--you broke that trust, you can’t just--you broke it! You can’t just go sweeping all the broken pieces under the rug!”

“That’s my job, Virgil.”

“That’s a jerk move, Deceit.”

Janus took a deep, slow breath. Virgil sunk back into the chair. He slouched into it so naturally. He’d been it in a million times before.

“Do you...” Virgil looked like he was considering his words. He stared a hole in his jeans. “Do you trust me?”

Janus swallowed back a too-sweet lie and a sour truth. “Of course not,” he settled on. “It’s not exactly my job description.”

“Did you ever?” Virgil asked, barely above a whisper. “Or was that all a lie?”

“Yes,” Janus said.

Virgil could figure out if that was truth. Janus couldn’t tell.

Maybe that was why they didn’t last--Virgil couldn’t do all the work of decoding. Janus had to pick sides sometimes. He had to stand for something if he wanted people to stand for him.

Janus would never be everything Virgil needed him to be.

It was for the best that Virgil had left.

“You never answered my question,” Janus said, when the silence shivered for too long. “Do you want to trust me?”

“No,” Virgil said, abrupt and icy and hurtfully true. “No, I don’t. I don’t want that for me. Or you.”

“We’re better off without each other?”

“Yeah,” Virgil said, lifting his chin. “At least, that’s what you said, right?”

Virgil had said so, too. And worse. But Janus, for once, decided to keep that jab to himself.

“We can’t exactly avoid each other,” Janus pointed out, examining his fingernails to hide the sting in his eyes. “We are sides of Thomas, and given recent developments, we may be forced to cooperate.”

“Operative word being forced.” Virgil sighed. “But yeah.”

“No avoiding the truth, is there?”

“Nope.”

Another long, thin silence, carrying a million words that Janus could never dare to say aloud.

“Deceit?” Virgil finally asked.

“Yes, Virgil?”

“Will you promise not to hurt him?”

Janus blinked. “Him who?”

“Thomas.” Virgil took a deep breath. “Roman and Logan and Patton, too, but Thomas comes first. So...do you promise not to hurt Thomas?”

“I--” Janus hated the way he hesitated. “Sometimes you have to hurt in order to heal. Life is cruel.”

“No.” Virgil shook his head. “It might be, but you don’t have to be. You never had to be.”

“I could say the same for you,” Janus said, as if accusing Virgil of the same crime meant Virgil’s words stung less.

Virgil, to his credit, shook off the jab almost instantly. “Promise me you won’t hurt Thomas. That you’ll help with this relationship. That you’ll--give us all a real chance to trust you.”

Janus swallowed. “I don’t make promises.”

“Changes, right?” Virgil’s eyes flickered up to Janus, his eyes achingly hopeful. “C’mon. I’ll--I’ll try to work with you, okay? But only if you try to work with me.”

And it scared Janus, how fast he opened his mouth to promise.

To apologize. To change. To become what everyone wanted.

To build Virgil’s trust again.

But he’d been here. He’d been here a million times, when Virgil tearfully apologized after a fight and Janus did the same. Every time, they promised to be better. Every time, they lied.

Thomas lied. Thomas tried to be a better person, then a more selfish person, but in the end he was who he was. Change was an illusion, a lie. You were who you were. Thomas was Thomas. Anxiety was Anxiety. And Deceit was Deceit. Dress them up in outfits and names, but that didn’t hide the truth.

Janus couldn’t build Virgil’s trust to break it yet again.

He wasn’t that cruel.

And of course, he should be jumping at this chance. This was an in to real acceptance, a second chance, all that he’d dreamed of in the empty years without Virgil. The perfect chance for manipulation, too, to wriggle his way into the light and coil around Virgil’s neck. Every atom in Janus’ body told him he needed to take this chance.

And yet, he had always been selfish.

Virgil hated him. Always had, and always would. He didn’t think he could stand to give himself hope.

Some things could change, but some things were broken beyond repair. Janus didn’t want to cut himself on the edges. Janus didn’t want to waste time on his hands and knees. Janus didn’t want to put it together, again and again, postponing the inevitable.

Everything broke. Every game ended. The king fell over, hit the board, and lay still. And Janus set the pieces back into place and tried again.

Who was he without an opponent, someone to rival, a foil to reflect? Who was he on his own?

Fighting himself, dreaming up an imaginary opponent to outwit, and making mistakes just to make the game last longer.

Janus was fooling himself, and it would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic.

“I don’t promise,” he said, and his hand dropped to his lap. “I’m sorry, Virgil.”

Virgil’s face tightened. “Yeah. Should have seen that coming.”

“I won’t hurt him,” Janus pleaded. “I’ll try not to, but I can’t--”

“I know, I know, you’ve got to keep your options open.” Virgil sighed. “Can’t commit, won’t commit. One day you’re gonna need somewhere to stand and you’re not gonna find anything, Deceit.”

“Not yet,” Janus said. “Not yet.”

“Not yet,” Virgil agreed, and stood up abruptly. His cold tea sat by the chair, untouched. He slipped over to the door, leaving scuff marks on the carpet. “Bye, I guess.”

“Goodbye,” Janus said, feeling simultaneously like the conversation was unfinished and untethered and that things had ended in a very final way.

Virgil pulled open the door and stepped into the hallway. Then he paused, standing there, one hand on the doorframe. A silhouette in black and purple. The purple was so gaudy and bright--no way to sneak around, to hide in the dark.

Virgil didn’t need to hide anymore. Virgil had grown.

Janus wished he was capable of that, too.

But people were who they were.

Every chess game had to end eventually. He’d drawn this one out, but now it was checkmate, and Janus had to cut his losses.

“I’m sorry,” Virgil said, quietly, and Janus fought back a gasp. “I don’t know what you needed, but I know I couldn’t give it to you, and I hope you find whoever you’re standing with eventually. It’s gotta be lonely on your own side.”

“I make do,” Janus said lightly, his chest aching.

“I’m sorry,” Virgil repeated, his fingers tightening on the doorframe. “And--for what it’s worth, Janus, I promise not to hurt him.”

Janus opened his mouth and closed it again.

Virgil disappeared in a rustle of fabric, and the door swung shut behind him.

The room was quiet. Janus’ cold tea sat next to his chair, and Virgil’s teacup gave out and shattered into several small pieces. Cold tea splashed over the carpet, the same dark shade as the plants, as black pieces on a chessboard.

Everything was silent, and Janus knew very suddenly that he’d made the wrong choice.

But there was no turning back. He had to sacrifice pieces for the good of the game. And there was no way to go back in time and fix everything that could be fixed. He had to do his best with the broken pieces.

Janus pressed a hand over his mouth and let himself have one small sob.

Then he waved his other hand, and the carpet folded over itself, the pieces sinking into the ground and disappearing, as if Virgil had never been there at all.

Janus pulled out his chessboard, set up the pieces, and began to play.

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#whumptober2020 #sanders sides #janus sanders #virgil sanders #anxceit #sympathetic janus sanders #sympathetic virgil sanders #hurt no comfort #ts spoilers #averywrites #i'm so sorry guys this hurts even me

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brain-deadx0 · 3 years

Text

Virgil's Betrayal

Part 3 of New Big Brother

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Summary: Remy meets Patton’s brother and kids and proceeds to get murdered.

Warnings: Food mention, play fighting including nerf guns, manipulation but for good stuff, let me know

Remy was not nervous.

When dad guy had asked him a few days ago if he would be ok with going to the man’s brother’s house for lunch that weekend, Remy had said, “Sure.” He’d agreed to it.

So no. Remy wasn’t nervous. Even as they pulled up to the frankly huge house in a neighborhood of huge houses.

Definitely not nervous.

Virgil was practically vibrating in his seat. He’d been telling Remy all about his uncle and cousins, and what games they could play together the entire drive.

“Everybody ready?” Dad guy asked as he turned the car off.

“Yep!” Virgil told him as he quickly unbuckled himself.

Dad guy sent one of his questioning looks to Remy via the rear view mirror. Remy ignored it and climbed out of the car to follow Virgil who had already ran for the front door.

Dad guy joined them at the door as Virgil rang the bell. Remy wasn’t trying to hide behind them. They just ended up closer to the door. There was the sound of a lock being turned before someone inside the house hollered for them to come in.

As soon as they walked through the door there was the sound of footsteps running down the stairs.

"Virgil! Uncle Patton!” A pair of voices yelled before two young boys were launching themselves off the stairs towards them. Dad guy yelped in alarm as he attempted to… catch them?

“Jan, your boys are going to give me a heart attack one of these days!” The man yelled through his subdued laughter from his place on the ground.

“And I’ll help them get rid of the body.” The voice from before called. A moment later a short man appeared from what Remy assumed was the kitchen. He looked a lot like dad guy save for the fact he was definitely older than the man. And the mild scarring on the left side of his face.

“Alright boys, that’s enough abunculicide.” The man told the kids who were laughing in dad guy’s arms.

“Aw…” The pair said before releasing him.

Dad guy smiled before standing up and ruffling their hair causing one grin and the other to balk and try to fix it.

“You must be Remy.” The man said, “My name’s Janus, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, sir.” Remy told him.

Mr. Janus smiled, “You can call me Janus.”

Yeah that was not happening.

“The two terrors who ambushed you all are my sons Roman and Remus.”

“I’m Roman.” “And I’m Remus.” The two introduced with matching bows, “And together we’re-!” They spun in opposite directions before striking poses back to back, “-the creativitwins!”

Remy couldn’t help but laugh slightly at the theatrics as dad guy clapped excitedly, “Oh that was so cute!” Dad guy told them.

“No it wasn’t!” The pair told him pointedly, “It was cool.” Roman told him.

“Yeah!” Remus agreed.

“Well whatever it was, I loved it.” Dad guy told them.

“Lunch will be ready in about a half hour,” Mr. Janus told them, “So you can all make yourselves at home.”

“Can we go outside?” Remus asked.

“Yes, but-” before the man could finish both boys took off running.

“Come on Virge!” One of them called.

The next thing Remy knew he was being grabbed by the hand and pulled towards the back yard, “Come on Remy!” Virgil told him.

Guess he was going outside.

“-Don’t get too dirty.” Janus finished lamely as all the minors fled to the backyard, “Well I tried.”

Patton chuckled, “Probably should’ve started with that part.”

“How many sons did you want back alive?” He asked.

Patton laughed, “Come on, I’ll help make lunch.

Remy watched the younger kids from his seat on the porch steps. Roman suggested playing super hero’s and was met with agreements until he suggested Virgil be the villain. Which apparently happened a lot.

“Come on, Virgil.” Roman whined, “We need a bad guy!”

“But I always lose when I play the bad guy.” Virgil told them, “Why can’t you be the bad guy and we fight you?”

“Because me and Re are the heroes.” Roman said as if it were obvious.

“We could be bad guys.” Remus told him, “The bad guys are cooler anyway.”

“Noooo.” Roman told him, “We’re the creativitwins! We’re supposed to be the good guys!”

“But we’re always the good guys!” Remus replied.

“Remy!” Virgil called, “Tell them we wanna be the heroes!”

“How about…”

Patton jumped when the mostly silent backyard suddenly erupted in gleeful screams.

“Welcome to the world of raising multiple children.” Janus told him.

Patton smacked his arm lightly before going to peek at the yard. The three younger boys were running around the yard at top speed as Remy made a grab for whoever got closest to him. Patton smiled as Roman yelled for a retreat before all three kids ran for the treehouse. Remy stalked after them, giving the twins enough time to make it to safety, but grabbed Virgil before he could climb high enough.

Virgil squealed as he was pulled away from the tree and yelled for help through his laughter.

Patton cooed at the sight before reluctantly going back to the kitchen.

Virgil laughed wildly even as Remy used him as a partially successful human shield. If he had known there were fully loaded nerf guns, Remy would’ve made it harder for them to get to the treehouse.

“Don’t worry Virge!” One of them yelled, “We’ll rescue you!”

“Dead or alive!” The other added.

Remy laughed, “It’s not a rescue if you kill him!” He told them as they continued to shoot.

“Silence feind!” The first one told him before firing more foam bullets at them.

"Any ideas?” Remy asked Virgil quietly.

“I think there’s more guns on the porch?” Virgil whispered back.

“Perfect.” Remy grinned, “Muwahaha! You can’t defeat me!” He told the pair in the treehouse before running towards the porch with Virgil.

Once there he put Virgil down and the kid directed him to where the extra nerf guns were. The ones in the hidden storage bin were much smaller than the ones the twins had.

“Virgil! You’re not supposed to help the bad guy!”

“Ha ha! I put him under mind control!” Remy told them, “Now I have a minion.”

Virgil snickered before rushing to grab a gun of his own.

“You won’t get away with this, villain!”

“Let him go or face our wrath!”

“Never!” Remy called back, “Pick up as many bullets as you can, but don’t shoot too much, ok?” He whispered to Virgil, “When they run out we can go after them, cool?”

“Yeah!” Virgil whispered excitedly.

It took longer than Remy thought it would for the rain of foam to slow to a stop. “It’s over, heroes. Surrender peacefully and I might spare you.” He told them.

He could hear hushed laugher from the treehouse before one of the boys replied, “Okaay~ just a minuute~”

“Uh-oh.” Virgil said beside him.

“Uh-oh?”

He didn’t have to wait long to figure out what the kids were up to because a second later he was being pelted with various balls, ranging from ping pong to tennis. Before he even had a chance to recover, one of the twins was suddenly right next to him and whacking him with a foam sword.

“What the- hey!” He laughed before trying to fend off the nine-year-old. While he was distracted, the other one had made their way to the ground as well and ambushed him from behind. “Oh shhh-!” He cut himself off as he fell.

The second kid had hit the back of his knees with a foam club. This was definitely not a fair fight.

While the twins were busy beating him to death he suddenly felt the familiar sensation of foam bullets.

“Wha-? Virgil! I thought you were on my side?” He asked incredulously, causing Virgil to laugh, “Betrayed by my own brainwashed minion!”

The kid just giggled harder, “I was just pretending to be mind controlled!” He told him as he continued to fire the toy gun.

The kids screamed in delight as they assaulted him with their various weapons. Remy was ready to admit defeat and call them off when a voice interrupted.

“Alright, boys, that’s enough.” Dad guy said.

‘Oh shit.’

Patton’s heart broke a little as the joy on Remy’s face quickly melted away to something much more subdued. He sent him what he hoped was a reassuring smile but it didn’t seem to help any. “Lunch is ready.” He told them.

“Okay.” the younger kids chorused before dropping their weapons and racing inside.

“Are you alright?” Patton asked, “They might be foam but they can still hurt when the boys get excited.”

“I’m fine.” Remy said casually as he stood up and brushed himself off.

“Alright then.” He smiled, “Then let’s go eat some pizza bread.”

"Pizza bread" as it turned out, was bread with cheese and pepperoni inside. So, more sophisticated than the rolled up pizza slice Remy had pictured. Apparently you were supposed to dip it in some fancy tomato sauce which is why Remy was surprised when Mr. Janus had them all move to the living room to eat.

"Dad, can we watch Avatar?" Roman asked.

"No, let's watch dirty jobs!" Remus told him.

"How about mythbusters?" Roman countered.

"Ah, ah," Mr. Janus told them, "what's the rule for guests?"

"Virgil," They chorused, "wanna watch-" "Avatar?" "Dirty jobs?"

"Um… what about Most Extreme...?" Virgil tried.

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Two to one, we win!" Remus cheered.

"Boys." Mr. Janus told them, "We have more than one guest, remember?"

"Remy, say no!" Roman told him, "Then we pick a different show."

"I don't really have an opinion." Remy told him, "What's "Most Extreme"?"

"They take all the cool stuff from animals like eyes and teeth and show what it would look like if humans had the same ability." Remus told him, "It's neat!"

"Its freaky is what it is." Roman told him.

"That's what makes it cool!"

"I'm gonna pass on the vote." Remy told them.

"He's impartial so we win! The Most Extreme it is!" Remus turned to high five Virgil.

Roman seemed a bit miffed at losing the vote, but it wasn't long before he was staring at the screen with as much interest as the other two. And honestly? Remy got it. The show was actually pretty cool.

Patton smiled as Remy seemed to settle in again and get pulled into the show. He waited until the episode ended and everyone was done eating before moving to collect the empty plates. Unfortunately, the action quickly caught the attention of the teen.

"Don’t worry, I got it." Patton assured as Remy moved to start cleaning up as well.

"It's ok," Remy told him, as he paused somewhat hesitantly, "I don't mind."

Patton smiled, "I appreciate it, but you don't have to. Janus and I are gonna clean up and then we'll probably be heading home."

"Oh," Janus said suddenly, "while I'm thinking about it, we packed up some of our old clothes to donate. You guys can look through them for some play clothes." He told him.

"Sure." Patton told him.

"I'll be right back to help clean up." Janus said before leaving the room.

Remy wasn't sure why he was suddenly on edge. All he knew was something felt off and he didn't like it.

Mr. Janus came back a minute later with three large bags. "Ok," he said as he set them down, "look through and take anything." He told them before pointing to the twins, "No dress up this time." He told them.

"Why not?" Roman asked.

"Because yesterday we had to cut your brother out of a shirt you both knew was too small."

"I was a mutant giant what was I supposed to wear?" Remus asked indignantly.

Remy bit back a smile.

"Preferably something big enough to get yourself out of." Mr. Janus told him.

"Boring~" Remus drawled.

Mr. Janus shook his head fondly, "No dress up." He told them again before leaving to help dad guy.

The second he was gone the twins shared a look before quickly opening the bags and digging through them.

Remy laughed slightly, "Didn't he just say "no dress up"?"

"He said no dress up for us," Roman corrected, "but nothing about us dressing up you or Virgil."

"And so long as he doesn't catch us too quickly we can do it too!" Remus grinned.

Remy quickly turned down any attempts to get him to play dress up, and delegated himself to watching as the older boys coerced Virgil into trying on just about every piece of clothing. They had quickly moved on from the kids clothes that Virgil could feasibly fit in, or at least grow into soonish, to going through Mr. Janus’s old clothes just to wear them.

Virgil was digging through the bag when he suddenly gasped, "Remy!" He said excitedly before pulling something out of the bag and bouncing over, "Look!" He beamed as he held up an old leather jacket, "It's like from the store!"

"Uh, yeah, kinda." Remy admitted.

"I don't remember that one." Roman told them, "It doesn't look like Dad or Noni's."

"Dad!" Remus called.

"What happened?" Mr. Janus answered as he came around the corner before huffing a small laugh, "I see you ignored the dress up rule."

Remus ignored the last part, "Whose jacket is this?" He asked; pointing to the coat Virgil was holding.

Mr. Janus glanced at the jacket Virgil was holding, "That's my old one." He told them, "I haven't worn it since… probably since I was about twenty or so. That's when Noni gave me my other one."

"How long ago was that?" Virgil asked.

Mr. Janus laughed, "Long enough to know I don't need it, let's stick with that."

"That's Dad's way of saying he's old." Remus whispered causing Virgil to giggle.

"I heard that." Mr. Janus told them with an amused eyebrow raise, causing the kids to laugh. Mr. Janus shook his head, "Anyway, like I said you're welcome to anything in the bags." He said with a glance to Remy, "Try not to smother your cousin in the clothes." He told them offhandedly as he went back to the kitchen.

Something was definitely going on.

"Try it on!" Virgil told Remy as he practically shoved the jacket at him.

"I don't know, kid." Remy told him. This whole thing felt like way too much of a coincidence. He wasn't sure how to feel about it. This had to be a set up, right?

"Why not?" Virgil asked.

"I already have a coat, remember?"

"Yeah but this one doesn't cost money." Virgil told him. Dammit. "And at the store you said these were cool."

Stop making good points.

"Oh! It could be part of your villain outfit!" Roman exclaimed, "All super villains need to look cool."

"Otherwise they're just regular villains!" Remus added.

"What's the difference?"

"Presentation!" All three told him.

Ok, well he definitely ran into something there.

"Pleeeease, Remy?" Virgil asked with wide eyes.

... Fucking puppy dog eyes.

Remy sighed, "Ok, fine."

Patton peaked around the corner and smiled. For once he was glad Virgil had learned to weaponize his puppy eyes.

Remy made sure that when dad guy and Mr. Janus came back that he was not wearing the jacket. Just in case.

Thankfully neither mentioned it as they packed up the clothes Virgil. Or as they resorted the rest the kids had used for dress up. They all said their goodbyes, with Mr. Janus saying he hoped to see them again soon, and the twins telling Remy they wouldn't be going so easy on him next time.

If dad guy seemed extra smiley on the way home, it was none of Remy's business.

Remy was not smiling to himself either.

…Whatever.

~~~~~notes~~~~~

For anyone who was wondering, Virgil 100% knows what he's doing when it comes to puppy dog eyes. He was raised by Patton Can't-say-no-to-cute Sanders. And yes. He does use this for evil.

#new big brother #brain dead writes #sanders sides #fan fiction #patton sanders #remy sanders #virgil sanders #child! virgil #janus sanders #trans! janus #roman sanders #remus sanders

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bothcreativitybois · 3 years

Text

The Mayors Sweet Treat Chapter 6

Ao3 link Wordcount: 2428 Ship: Intruality TW: Food, scars, unhealthy family relationships (mentioned), swearing, sexual references Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 Taglist: @crazydemigod666 @star-crossed-shipper @newtnotfound @idont-freaking-know @someoneiwasnt @crownofrats (love the new name) @the-sympathetic-villain @cute-and-angsty-princess @lonelymuffin @bloodymari-0666 @im-an-anxious-wreck @fantasticallytired @obsessive-fallen-angel

It was a snug fit in the back seat of Remus' truck, especially since Patton was sitting between Roman and Virgil. All three of them had large containers on their laps holding decadent sweets made for the event they were headed to. “I think this is the best Remus has ever driven.” Janus joked from the front seat, the group laughed. Supplies rattled in the tray of the truck. “Oh please, I’m the best driver here!” Remus defended. Roman rolled their eyes and leant forward. “Do you not remember crashing the paddock basher so bad that the passenger door wouldn’t open and I was stuck?” Roman recalled. Remus looked back for a moment. “We were twelve.” Remus reminded them. They all laughed. Patton wasn’t quite sure what they were talking about but it seemed amusing. “And you had to pull me out with a arm full’a shrapnel.” Roman said as they poked their twin’s shoulder before they turned back to Patton. “All this just fifteen minutes after we got it.” “What’s a paddock basher?” Patton asked dumbly. It sounded like some big important farming tool, not something you’d let kids play in. “A cheap old car that barely works.” Remus explained, catching Patton’s eyes in the rear view mirror. “You can use them to learn how to drive, or to get around the farm or just fuck around in.” Roman smirked. “Emphisis on the fuck for you.” Roman joked as they fell back into their seat. Remus raised a middle finger to Roman as the group laughed again. They pulled off the tarmac and onto a dirt road, Patton had never been on a dirt road. He immediately grabbed Virgil’s arm in shock of the sudden bumps and jolts. “What is that?!” Patton shouted. Remus looked back with concern, the others laughed. “Where’d you find this guy?” Roman asked Remus with a laugh, Virgil gently removed Patton’s hand. Patton looked around and blushed with embarrassment as the others laughed. Remus caught the look and felt bad for him. “Cut him some slack.” Remus said in a stern voice as he looked back at the road, the others stopped laughing. Remus knew Patton wasn’t as tough as them, he didn’t grow up climbing fences to drench sheep and having knife fights in paddocks. Patton was scared by Remus’ tone and it seemed the rest of them were too. Virgil was practically shaking from it. Remus was being soft on him again, but he was so harsh with the others. He remembered what Janus said yesterday at the bakery.

Set up your boundaries or he’ll tear right through you. Patton put a hand on Virgil’s arm, this time it was less a desperate grab and more comforting. Virgil quickly looked down at Patton’s hand then at his questioning face. Patton gave a little sweet smile, Virgil was surprised. He smiled back weakly. Remus watched in the rear view mirror. “Sorry Virge.” Remus apologised. Virgil nodded slightly. “S'alright.” Virgil responded weakly as he looked vacantly out the window. “It’s not about you.” He eyed the large house they were pulling up to. Remus pulled up in front of the house and turned to face Virgil. “You can still back out.” Remus assured him. Virgil shook his head. “I’d rather now with y’all here than later.” Virgil admitted. Patton looked out the window. The house was large and looked expensive, the perfectly cut shrubs and lawn were much greener than anything else he’d seen around. Yet something about it seemed to make Virgil nervous. Remus knew what it was. Roman and Janus knew what it was. “Remus!” A lady shouted. “Around the back dear!” The lady had the same black hair and pale skin as Virgil. Their noses had the same pronounced bridge. Patton thought they were related, but the way Virgil looked at her said otherwise. That look was full of… fear, not love. Remus started the car and pulled around the house. The air in the car was tense with worry, everyone concerned for Virgil. Remus and Janus got out, Janus folded down his seat so the others could get out. Roman and Patton climbed out quickly but Virgil hesitated. Remus leaned back in. “Do you want me to drive you home?” He asked Virgil, he responded by shaking his head.

“He can watch the food while we unload.” Roman said, collecting one of the boxes from Patton. Virgil nodded. Roman leaned in and put the boxes next to Virgil with a smile. The men went around the truck and started unloading the tents and tables. Remus and Janus carried them with ease while Patton helped Roman carry some so they weren’t left out. Remus kept a close eye on the car as they unloaded. Virgil had a habit of bottling it all up until it was too late, he has always been too stubborn to admit when he was scared. Remus was first to notice when Virgil stepped out. He gave Virgil a quick smile and closed up the tray. Everyone looked at Patton. “What?” Patton asked. “What do you mean what?” Janus responded. “You’re the boss. What do we do?” Patton suddenly felt anxious. He’d never been in charge, he didn’t know what to do. He frantically looked at Remus for help, surely he’d know what to do. He was a mayor, they know leader stuff. Remus caught the look and clapped his hands. “Janus and Virgil get changed. Roman go sort out your business stuff. Me and Patton will start setting up.” Remus commanded, everyone nodded and started heading out. Patton sighed in relief. The way Remus could take control was impressive to him, a skill he’d always envied in people. He was always too scared he’d blow past commanding leader and straight to bossy and rude. Patton and Remus walked over to the tents they unloaded. “Thanks for the save back there.” Patton smiled at Remus. “S’all good babe.” Remus said with a smirk. Patton poured out the contents of one of the canopy bags. He picked up a set of instructions. “Looks simple enough. The frame is already put together, we just need to put on the awning and unfold it all.” Patton explained. He looked up to see Remus wasn’t paying attention, he was staring across at Virgil with a concerned look. “Remus?” Patton pushed Remus’ shoulder and he snapped back. “Uh yeah got it.” Remus stammered, unaware of whatever Patton just said. Patton reached up and clicked his fingers in front of Remus' face. Remus shook his head.

"What's wrong?" Patton asked immediately. He looked back at the truck then at Remus. "It's Virgil, isn't it?"

"Uh I guess." Remus shifted awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck. "That lady from earlier is Virgil's nan. His family is… not the best for him. Or anyone really." Remus explained keeping the details veuge to respect Virgil's privacy. Patton tensed up. No matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise he kept thinking it was his fault. That he was being a nuisance. "He can leave, I'm sure we can make do." Patton reasoned but Remus shook his head. "He won't. He hides it behind schedules but he is just as much a stubborn farm boy as the rest of us." Remus chuckled. Patton looked down at the bags. "Okay…" Patton agreed half heartedly. Remus and Patton began setting up the tents and placed some fold-out tables beneath them. Janus and Virgil joined them eventually, each wearing a white button-up and jeans with light teal suspenders and a matching bowtie. Patton looked at them proudly. “Howdaya know to tie a bowtie?” Remus teased. Roman joined them and fussed with the outfits. “They don’t.” Roman winked. They plucked the clipboard from Virgil’s hands. “Remus get changed, people will start arriving soon. Janus and Virgil start setting up the food.” Roman talked as they dodged Virgil trying to take back the clipboard. It seemed the leader gene ran through both the twins. Patton looked around as everyone began doing things. “What about me?” Patton asked. Roman dusted the shoulders of his blue check shirt and straightened his white tie. “Be your charming little self.” Roman chirped. They began to walk away but stopped. “Oh and please please keep Remus out of trouble.” Patton nodded, from what he’d learned that would be a task in itself. Patton looked around, Remus was changing shirts at the car. As he got closer he noticed Remus had a lot of marks and scars on his skin. Patton’s eyes lingered on Remus’ shoulder up until the moment he pulled a shirt over them. Remus looked over his shoulder to see Patton staring with pink cheeks, he shot a cocky grin. “Sorry- I wasn’t-” Patton stammered. Remus chuckled. “Want to see the most impressive one?” Remus turned around and pulled back the open shirt slightly. A gathering of large scars ran from his bottom rib to behind his hip. Patton inspected them closer. “I was thirteen and it was my first time breaking in a horse. I was quite a lot scrawnier then. Got bucked off into a broken wire fence and got caught on the way down.” Remus made a ripping noise and scratched above the skin. Patton was enthralled, he traced the scars all the way around Remus’ hip. “Took Roman and Ma ten minutes to untangle me.” Remus blushed as Patton trailed his hands around him. He wasn’t gonna stop him. Eventually Patton realised what he was doing and jolted back. The moment hung between them for a moment. “T-that sounds painful.” Patton stuttered as he hid his face. Remus began buttoning up his shirt. “Oh it was.” Remus joked. He took out the bowtie and began fiddling with it. Patton giggled, it was clear Remus had no clue what he was doing. Remus tried his best but couldn’t figure it out. Patton put his hand on Remus’, signalling to let him take over. Remus allowed him to do so. “What about you?” Remus asked as Patton messed with the tie. “What about me?” Patton laughed back. “Got any scars?” “A few burns on my arms but they’re barely visible. One on my waist.” Patton explained. Remus looked down and caught Patton’s eyes. Usually he’d make some cocky remark about being excited to see them, but with Patton it was different. It felt different to his usual relationships. “What?” Patton looked back down. “Everything about you is just so…” He tried to find the right word, he was never really good at that. Cute? Soft? Buttery? Sweet? It was more than that. It wasn’t just who Patton was, it was how Remus felt about him. He’d never felt this before. The way his heart was skipping and the tingles as Patton’s hands brushed against the skin of his neck. It wasn’t something he had felt, let alone put to words. Remus looked down at Patton’s hands. “You don’t know how to tie a bowtie do you?” Remus teased as he saw Patton’s sloppy work. Patton stepped back and looked down. “No I really don’t.” Patton admitted. “We should go find Roman.”

The picnic was in full swing and Remus was questioning why they called it a ‘picnic’. No one was sitting on the ground or on picnic rugs, there were no baskets and no fun. Just rich people sitting at tables and drinking champagne. He walked around with a tray of… something sweet, offering some to everyone he passed. Roman walked around with Patton, showing him off like a prize winning ewe. Middle aged women gracefully walked around in light dresses with champagne flutes hanging from their fingers. Which is why it was striking to Remus when he spotted someone in a dark blue knitted jumper. “Shit!” Remus breathed. He quickly rushed over to Roman, but hesitated when Patton came into view. The two were next to each other, chatting to a group of ladies with modest smiles. He needed to get Roman’s attention without worrying Patton. Thankfully it wasn’t the twins’ first rodeo. “Romy, I need you for a second.” Remus asserted as he joined the group. ‘Romy’ and the counterpart ‘Rems’ were nicknames only used when something was extremely wrong, that way the twins would know immediately that they needed to ditch whatever was happening. Roman politely excused themselves, much to Patton’s dismay, and Remus pulled them a few metres away. “What’s the story?” Roman asked when they were far enough away. Remus pointed into the crowd where Logan was calmly waiting around. “Code moneybags.” Remus whispered. Roman laughed slightly. “I invited them.” Roman clarified as they fussed with their skirt and departed from their brother to greet Logan. What are you planning? Remus thought as he watched Roman walk up and greet Logan warmly. Janus appeared by Remus’ side. They looked at Roman suspiciously then back at each other. “Where’s Virge?” Janus asked. Living in a small town Remus knew all those cliché country sayings, he’d hear them non-stop when talking to the older people in town. One specific saying came to mind right now. When it rains, it pours. “You were meant to watch him!” Remus answered loudly. “Why are you shouting?” Patton asked sweetly. Both the men retracted and Remus plastered on a fake smile. Any good politician knows how to hide the shit spewing from the fan. “We’re just excited because you’re doing so fucking good!” Remus shouted and got a few dirty looks from nearby ladies. Janus quickly moved to block the view of Logan. They had run enough hustles together to know what to do. Patton beamed. “Get your fine looking ass out there and shmooze the shit outta these rich ladies.” Remus turned Patton around and shoved him towards a group of ladies before turning back to Janus. “You swear more when you’re trying to hide something.” Janus stated. Remus stammered for a second from the out of place addition. “Well he doesn’t know that yet!” Remus threatened. Hopefully he’d never know. “Now, you go look for Virgil and I’ll deal with my twin’s unexpected invite.” They both nodded. Janus headed off and Remus looked back at Patton. He was already so nervous for all this, and he was stressed with the entire situation he was in. Usually Remus would throw him towards Logan and just hope Patton ended up on top, but Patton was different to his friends. He wanted to protect him. To keep him happy no matter what. Don’t stress, Patty Cake. I got your back.

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brandstifter-sys · 3 years

Text

Carry On

Five Times Remus Swept Virgil Off His Feet (and One Time Virgil Returned the Favor)

That's a FOB title if I ever saw one

Word Count: 2927 (Ao3)

Characters: all sides

Pairing: Dukexiety

Rating: T

Warnings: self-doubt, sex mention, swearing, mild gore mention, undertale references, dc comics references, charlie the unicorn references

inspired by @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes‘ post linked here

One…

Sans. Virgil truly hated this battle, but he was set on finishing this run to get to the true ending the next time around. Too bad he was getting his ass handed to him by a punny pile of bones!

He growled to himself as his fingers frantically danced over the keys. He didn't care if anyone came into the common area while he was there, he couldn't afford the stress from his room and everyone knew to stay away from him or else.

Remus was not one of those sides who did what he was supposed to do all the time. So when he popped up in the common area, he didn't think twice about lounging on the couch next to his favorite emo.

"Oh come on!" Virgil snapped at his computer as he lost again. He clawed at his hair and let out a long, agonized groan before flopping back on the couch. His hands were shaking and his heart was racing. He was one more loss away from committing murder.

"Uh oh!" Remus giggled and got up. He closed the laptop and grinned at Virgil as the emo tried to murder him with his eyes.

"What do you want?"

"Me? Well I have to make a delivery to the Grand Duke of the Imagination! And you have what I need!" Remus hummed and wiggled his shoulders. Virgil scowled and crossed his arms.

"What are you talking about?" he huffed, ignoring the mischievous twinkle in Remus' eyes. That was a mistake!

Remus swooped down and scooped him up bridal style, laughing at Virgil flailing in his arms and squawking like a gull. He would never drop him out of nowhere! Silly emo could trust him!

"I'm taking you to the Grand Duke so he can spoil you and cheer you up! By any means necessary!" Remus purred and winked, bringing a delightful blush to Virgil's face.

"What the hell?"

"You are my damsel in distress and I don't even have to slay a monster to make sure you're okay—unless you want me to, there's definitely a monster I want to see, in your—"

"No. I am so done with monsters today. Don't even make that joke. Just do what you were planning," Virgil huffed and averted his gaze, no longer squirming to get away. Remus could live with that as long as he could keep holding this tall drink of water!

Two…

Remus was just polishing his morning star when he decided it was a good time to harass his brother and talk about the only thing they seemed to agree on: butts!

He appeared in the common area to the sound of a Disney movie, it would have been perfect, but Roman was not alone on the couch. Oh no, he could clearly distinguish a mop of purple hair next to the prince’s own preened locks. Neither one seemed to notice the duke looming behind them, which was good. Surprising Roman was way too much fun!

“How can you claim this isn’t romantic and charming?!” Roman grumbled as Prince Philip and Briar Rose began to dance and sing in the forest. Virgil snorted and shook his head.

“There’s nothing more romantic than a total stranger in his 20s swooping in and interrupting a 16 year old girl’s furry fantasy without an introduction or asking,” Virgil droned sarcastically. He snickered at the offended gasp that came out of the prince’s mouth and shifted in his seat.

“You wanna pause this and grab some popcorn? My leg fell asleep.”

Before Roman could move Remus struck.

“Hello there! The angel from my nightmares, the shadow in the background of the morgue!” he sang and scooped Virgil into his arms, twirling around with the brightest grin imaginable. Virgil squeaked and clung to him, more out of surprise than fear. He should have seen it coming.

“I think my point stands,” Roman teased, smirking at the pair like a cheshire cat. Virgil shot him a death glare, daring him to say anything more while Remus giggled impishly between verses.

“Perhaps you should take care of that leg and we can continue later. I would hate to rob you of a moment like this!” the prince continued, making Virgil flush and plot his end. Remus laughed and brushed Roman off.

“Looks like I’m the dashing heroic prince today! Better luck next time Hoe-man!” he sang and sunk out for some much needed cuddles. Roman rolled his eyes, ignoring the sleight in favor of appreciating how cute those two could be. Plus he could rewatch his movie without critique!

Three…

Virgil was exhausted. After a long study session for the next video, making sure that Logan knew his lines and keeping Janus from making them take a break, all he wanted to do was fall into a coma. But he was still in the common area and he would have company if he didn't move, but that meant moving. He drooped, letting his limbs hang off the couch, wishing he had the energy.

That was a mistake, and he knew that he would regret it. Especially when something slimy glided up the back of his hand.

"Gross," he grumbled, not bothering to look at the culprit. Remus giggled and licked his hand again before kissing it. He got off the floor and on one knee, smiling at his emo.

"You know you love me!" he teased and brought Virgil's hand to his lips again, "You're like my personal damsel in distress and I just love saving you and making you feel like a princess!"

"I'm not a damsel, just tired. Can I take a nap in peace?"

"Not out here, Scare Bear! You know it gets crazy with the others around!" Remus giggled and scooped him up without any struggle.

"If you take me to your dungeon to do horrible things to me in my sleep, make sure I have both kidneys intact."

"No promises, Charlie!" Remus teased and resituated Virgil so he could rest his head on his shoulder, "But I can promise you a comfy bed and the best snuggle buddy ever!"

"You're bringing Winary? Hellhounds don't make for great cuddles. They stink of brimstone," Virgil mumbled against his neck.

"Nope! You get to cuddle with a stinky dukey!" Remus countered and walked towards his room with his precious cargo.

"I'd rather cuddle with you," Virge mumbled and curled into Remus' chest.

"But I am a stinky dukey!" he said, fighting back the urge to squeal. Virgil huffed and wrapped his arms around Remus.

"I like your scent. It's comforting, like a puppy that likes mud."

"You Sir are exhausted!" Remus declared, "And you are taking a long nap with me so you can get that snark back!"

"You better be there when I wake up," Virge answered, barely able to keep his eyes open. Remus was happy and he was sure to be there the whole time.

Four...

"Virgil, you can't just call Remus every time something mildly inconvenient happens. He's not your footman," Janus huffed as Virgil curled into himself. He was going to summon Remus for a good reason. It wasn't his fault that the duke showed up every time he stubbed his toe!

"I know that, Snake-face," he huffed, "I don't actually summon him when they happen. He just knows."

"And you do nothing to stop him. It's not good for you to be dependent on him for everything. There's a fine line between self-care and sinking into bad habits."

"I'm not sinking into bad habits, Janus. I'm fine with being toted around if it makes him feel like he's being heroic instead of a villain."

Janus sighed and shook his head. Virgil had a point, Remus needed to feel wanted and needed. And who better to provide that for him than Virgil? Remus adored him!

"And I want him to show up right now," Virgil mumbled and hugged his knees. His skin was crawling and he was freezing. Was it too selfish for him to want to have Remus hold him and keep him close? Was he taking advantage of Remus wanting to be someone's hero? Was he even good enough to get that kind of attention from the duke?

"Remus!" Janus called out, rather than sit by and watch Virgil spiral. He sank out at the same time Remus appeared.

Remus got one look at Virgil and immediately pulled him into his arms. Virgil melted into him and let out a contented sigh.

"Scare Bear!" Remus cheered and spun on his heels, "My spider sense was tingling! What's wrong, Bitter Sweetie?"

"I just need some creature contact," Virgil grumbled, "and you're the most comfortable creature I know."

"So no slaying your demons or disemboweling anyone?" Remus giggled and dropped Virgil on the couch before flopping on him. Virgil shifted and wrapped his arms around Remus' waist.

"Nah, just don't leave. I need a Cuddlefish."

"And you got me for as long you want!" Remus giggled and nestled his head under Virgil's chin.

"You're gonna be here for a while," Virge hummed and soaked in the warmth Remus provided.

"I don't mind," Remus said, "I like it here!" And that was an understatement.

Five…

Remus was just going to the kitchen for a snack—he had some prairie oysters with his name on them! But he paused in the middle of the hallway when he saw Virgil on a step ladder, painting a wrought iron fence mural over his door. He was so focused, so pretty, Remus had to stare.

"You know, creeping on someone who's on a ladder is considered a bad idea."

"Do I look like the guy who has good ideas?"

"No, I should know better, you like me."

"No talking bad about yourself!" Remus growled and loomed closer.

"Oh, that's not what I meant. I mean you like the one guy who can kick your ass and you keep calling him a damsel. Last I checked, I saved you from the Dragon Witch twice this week alone."

"It was hot!" Remus agreed as Virge bent over to get more paint on his brush, carefully holding onto the wall, "But that doesn't mean you can't be a damsel too! You're like Dick Grayson—perfectly capable of kicking ass, but also very much in need of some saving every so often! Plus I think you'd make those shorts look good! Almost as good as I'd look getting into them!" Virgil jolted away from Remus as he was getting up again and lost his balance.

It felt like forever, falling backwards with nothing to grab onto. He was sure the impact would be annoying, but not terrible. If he were any higher up his instincts could have easily taken over and he wouldn't land on his back. But that impact never came. Instead he landed in a pair of strong arms.

"I knew you'd fall for me and my feral mojo!" Remus giggled down at him. Virgil stared at him for a second before swiping his paintbrush over Remus' nose.

"Sure, Puppy, you tell yourself that," Virgil said with a smirk, "It's not at all because you had the audacity to call me Dick Grayson when I'm more of a Jason Todd."

"You're more of a hottie who needs to snuggle with me after that kind of fall!"

"You really need to consider just asking like a normal person," Virgil jeered and kissed his cheek.

"Why would you ever consider that? Boring! You need some excitement in your life and that's where I come in!"

"I thought you came in—"

"Dirty jokes are my job!"

"I thought you came in like Peter Parker on a wrecking ball. Chaotically trying to save me from every mild inconvenience," Virge reiterated and wrapped his arms around Remus' shoulders before kissing his cheek again. Remus was a happy boy.

And then...

It was just perfect! Remus was so excited to finally have a gift for Patton that he would like! He appeared in the common area in the kitchen, just out of sight of the duo watching Looney Toons. Patton and Virgil were in for a treat!

He set Fluffy on the floor and motioned towards the couch. The little thing sprinted off in a pale pink blur and Remus waited for the cooing and squealing from Patton.

His heart shattered when all he heard were horrified screams coming from the father figure. He sank out to his room and fought the urge to cry. Fluffy would be able to get back to the Imagination without him.

Virgil paused the show and watched Patton scoop up the hairless cat with tears in his eyes.

"Look Virgil!" he cheered and held up the cat like she was Simba, "A kitty I can pet!" Virgil blinked twice, confused as to how a cat found her way into the commons. That's when he spotted the green collar around her neck and the silver tag hanging from it.

"Can I keep her Virge?" Patton pleaded as Virgil checked the tag. He had a hunch that Fluffy was meant to be with Patton.

"You're asking me?" he jeered and got up, "Let's find the guy who made her and ask him. I'm pretty sure Remus set her loose to find you."

"Remus? He made this little angel?" Patton gasped and cuddled her to his chest. She purred and kneaded his hoodie, getting him to squeal again.

"I'll go get him, and let you two get to know each other," Virgil said with a half-smile. Patton beamed and him and sat on the couch, cuddling his new best friend. Virgil sank out before the cuteness became sickening.

But any mushy feelings faded when he appeared in Remus' room. Amid the weapon racks and canopic jars, Remus was curled up on his bed, hiding his head between his knees.

"Octopuppy?" Virgil asked softly and sat next to Remus. The duke looked up at him with his makeup running down his cheeks.

"Scare Bear?"

"What's wrong?" he asked and brushed a stray piece of hair from Remus' face. Remus shook his head and let out a ragged sigh.

"I can't make anything good."

"Your dog is not gonna be happy to hear that."

"She's a hellhound with three heads. She's not good or normal. But she's a good girl," Remus grumbled and wiped his eyes. He was not about to cry again. Virgil coaxed Remus into his lap and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"What makes you think you can't make anything good?"

"I made a cat for Daddykins and I really tried to make her perfect for him. But he screamed at the sight of her. You know, you were there," he pouted and hid his face in Virgil's hoodie. Virgil pouted and held him closer.

"Can I show you something?" he whispered, "Something that can prove you can make something good."

Remus nodded and clung to Virgil as he stood. The emo cradled him to his chest and smiled down at him.

"Looks like you're my damsel this time," he teased and sank out, adoring the blush that crossed Remus' face.

They appeared in the common area kitchen to the sounds of giggles and cooing. Remus looked to Virgil for answers only to get a smirk in return.

"Hey Pat!" Virgil called out and carried Remus into the next room. Patton was curled up in his hoodie, using the string to play with Fluffy. Remus had never seen him so genuinely happy.

"Virge!" he cheered, only to coo at the sight of the gruesome twosome.

"I found Remus, so go ahead and ask."

"Remus, can I keep Fluffy? Please? I'll take good care of her! I promise!"

"I made her for you, so yeah, of course you can," Remus answered, completely stunned. Virgil knew that tone all too well. He had only a matter of seconds before a tsunami of feelings crashed over the duke. He would need cuddles.

"Thank you so much Remus!" Patton squealed and hugged Fluffy, "I'm gonna show her my room!" He sank out, leaving the pair to claim the couch.

"You good, Pup?" Virgil asked and hugged the duke, leaning into the cushions. Remus nodded and nuzzled into his chest.

"Good, because right now you're stuck cuddling with me until my legs fall asleep," Virgil mused and kissed his head. Remus shuddered and his breathing hitched.

"I did good," he whimpered, "I finally did a good and made a good thing."

"Finally? Remus, you make a good thing every day—you make me feel loved. You're my knight in slimy armor."

"That's just cuz I love you."

"I love you too, and I think it's only fair that I get to be your dark knight for a while. Because it's okay to need a little help, even if you don't think you deserve it."

"Who taught you that psychiatry crap?" Remus pouted and hid his face in Virgil's hoodie so no one would see him crying.

"You might know him, he's a wily little imp with a lot of passion, a flair for the dramatic, and macabre tastes. He's a handsome sweetheart and don't even get me started on his butt."

"He sounds like a pain in the neck!" Remus giggled.

"Only if he bites," Virgil snickered, "and he's my hero. So don't you dare try to talk shit about the Grand Duke of the Imagination."

Remus giggled and clung to him. He couldn't ask for a better boyfriend and he was pretty sure he didn't want to either.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #remus sanders #dukexiety #patton sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #sex menton tw #gore mention tw #sandyscribed #what is editing? idk fam

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amintyworld · 3 years

Text

Dark Prince - Switcheroo AU Oneshot

A/N: Hello hello this is your author Minty here! Just wanted to give a quick thanks to @aimasup for letting me use her Switcheroo AU on the Creativtwins for this cheeky lil oneshot. The AU is about if the split occurs, but Roman and Remus were assigned opposite traits to represent - Roman being a dark side and Remus being a light side. This was really fun to write and took a lotta work, so I hope ya’ll enjoy! - Minty

Summary: Roman never wanted to be the villain.

TW: Abandonment, Child abuse (Kinda, tagging just in case), sexual innuendos, Injury, exclusion, slight insanity, slight repressed homosexuality, cursing, putting life in someone else’s hands (As always, let me know if I need to tag anything else!)

---------------------------------------

Roman’s first memory was of pain, of needles all over his body, and then… a kick. He remembered making a small whimper as he curled into himself, weak and tired, the kick hurting more than it should’ve.

“Get away, you disgusting pervert! Get away from Creativity!” Someone yelled sharply, and Roman slowly opened his eyes, wondering what he could’ve done and where he even was. He was in a room, a room filled with stuffed animals and children’s drawings and… a man. He was wearing a cardigan with a grey sweatshirt wrapped around his shoulders, kneeling to help up someone else… someone who looked like him. “Creativity, are you alright? Oh, you poor thing, don’t worry, we finally got rid of it…”

Creativity? Wasn’t… wasn’t he…?

The kid shook a bit, weak like him, looking to the man in wonder and curiosity. “Creativity.” He said, repeating the word as if to understand it. “I’m… I’m Creativity.” Creativity tried to stand, nearly falling before the man caught him.

“Careful.” The man warned. “You might be a bit weak, that was a little intense. Here, let me help.” The man slowly picked up Creativity in his arms, then his gaze fell upon Roman, turning into one of disgust, making Roman’s heart begin to break. What… what did he do?

Creativity followed the man’s gaze. “Hey, who’s that?”

“Someone bad we don’t need anymore. Come on, Creativity.” They left, and Roman tried to move to get up, to follow them and maybe try to understand, he didn’t understand...

The next thing he remembered was gloved arms wrapped around him, lifting him up, and he looked up to see a man with half his face covered in green-tinted scales and a yellow snake eye that made his body tense. The man looked down at him warmly, sensing his fear. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you.” Roman looked at the man, and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Why?”

-------------------------------------------

Roman liked Janus a lot, he was one of the few people who’ve ever really shown him kindness, plus he smelled like vanilla. Despite his off-putting scales when they first met, Roman had really warmed up to the other side. Janus was funny and a really good cook - leading to Roman’s obsession with Peanut Butter, even to the point the poor parental side had to hide it constantly or else all three jars would be gone by the end of the day.

As their bond grew, so did Roman - he learned all about the others, ‘the light sides’ as Janus called them, and even the foretold Thomas. “Do you think I could meet him one day? Meet Thomas?”

“Uh…” Janus looked uncomfortable by the question, struggling to find the words to speak.

“I’m sure if I explain everything to him, maybe he can clear things up with Patton, maybe we could all get along and be happy again!” Roman smiled, jumping a bit on the ripped up couch.

“Roman…” Janus said, taking a breath. “It’s not that simple… Thomas… he…he doesn’t like us.”

“Why? You’re really nice, and… and-”

“He doesn’t like us because he doesn’t like what we represent.” Janus said, comfortingly rubbing circles on the back of the child’s hand. “Until he likes us, it’s no use trying to talk to him. That’s why I… well, why I’ve kept us hidden from him, why he doesn’t know about you… if he did, he could summon you and mock you and hurt you-”

“Will he ever like us again, Dee?” Roman looked up to Janus with sad eyes, the same sad eyes the deceitful side saw the day of the split. The eyes that made him help the kid so long ago, to endure the risk of insult and injury, to protect him. Janus met those eyes, and for once he didn’t have the heart to say the harsh truth.

“Maybe, Ro.” Janus gave the kid a comforting smile. “Maybe someday.”

That’s how it was for a while - Janus and Roman against a world who hated them. Their own little family of acceptance and love. Janus would play with Roman, sing songs and teach him the right way to hiss. Roman would comfort Janus when he’d return after being summoned by the Light Sides, and bring him into the Imagination for adventures, and work on training with his new abilities as they presented themselves to him.

It was one of those days in the Darkscape, Roman now fourteen, when the two were watching a movie that the most unusual thing happened. With a slow rise up in the living room stood Logan - tie messed up, bags under his eyes, holding a tiny seven year old in his arms. The child in question was wearing a large black hoodie, hood up and head buried into Logan’s chest, crying.

The two on the couch stood up quickly. Looking over toward Logan, who was looking around the place blankly. Roman was about to give him a piece of his mind for entering unannounced, bothering them, but Dee held up his arm to block him. “Don’t. It’s not worth it.” He said harshly under his breath. He looked over toward the intruder. “What brings you to our neck of the woods, Logic? I thought your kind made it crystal clear we weren’t welcome.”

“I am… sorry to enter unannounced, Deceit. I do believe this is one of yours.” Logan said, adjusting his glasses with one hand and walking over, the other arm supporting the child. Moving his arm, the child looked over to the two others, his lip trembling and tears in his eyes. Janus’s heart broke at the sight as he moved closer. “What’s his-?”

“Anxiety. His name is Anxiety.” Logan said. He slowly began to hand the child over as he calmed to sniffles, only for the action to make the child in question burst out crying once more. Janus slowly moved and held Anxiety as he made grabby hands to Logan.

“Pwease, I’ll be good! I’ll be good, don’t leave me!” Anxiety cried, and Janus held him close, shushing him and trying to soothe his tears, looking up to stare daggers at Logan.

“Is that all? Or is there another helpless child that ‘moral compass’ of yours wants to abandon?” Janus spat.

“Deceit, you know as well as I do that this is the best thing in the end for Thomas.” Logan said, rubbing his forehead. “It’s dangerous for Thomas for all of you to be out, he’s not ready-”

“A seven-year-old child is dangerous for Thomas?!” Janus said, looking angrier and angrier by the second. “For Logic, you don’t seem to be making any sense.”

“Janus-”

Janus jabbed his finger at Logan’s chest. “Now get out of my face and my home before things get so messy even your faulty ‘logic’ can’t fix them.” Janus’s voice was full of pure rage, and Logan’s blank face broke into more of… pity.

“I am sorry, Janus.” Logan simply said before sinking out, leaving the three of them alone.

Janus’s anger dissapated quickly as he rubbed Anxiety’s back, heading to sit back on the couch. “Shh, shh, it’s okay…” Roman just stared at Janus in shock of the altercation between the two, he’d never ever seen Janus talk like that to anyone before. Janus looked up at him. “What?”

“I-”

“Please… p-please don’t h-hurt me-!” Anxiety shook, looking up at Janus, then to Roman. Janus gave them a sad look, realizing what Patton probably told this poor kid-

Roman slowly reached out to him, smiling. Virgil’s reddened eyes met his as he looked up, moving toward Roman as Roman cupped his cheek softly. “I promise, no one’s gonna hurt you, okay?”

For a moment, silence fills the room as the child hesitates before his shaking small voice answered Roman. “P-promise?” Anxiety said, holding up his pinkie. Roman pinkie promised him, smiling warmly.

“I promise.”

-----------------------------------------------------

Roman yawned as he slowly made his way down to the kitchen, smiling as Virgil walked past him, eyes glued to his phone. “You know, you’d think with those dark circles under your eyes, you’d be the one yawning.”

Virgil gives a slight smirk at the playful remark. “Fuck off, playboy.”

“Well… I mean you’re not wrong there-” Roman shrugs, mischievously grinning. “I do like playing with a boy or two!” Roman finished with a wink at his brother.

Virgil nearly snorted at the retort, hiding his smile underneath his phone. “God, you’re disgusting-!”

“Right back at you, My Chemical Ro-Mess.”

The two sat down at the dusty dining room table as Janus walked out wearing a scaled apron with the words ‘Snake me’ written in flowy black cursive, carrying two plates of eggs and toast. He set them down in front of the two sides, turning to head back into the kitchen, ruffling Virgil’s hair as he went. “Cream and sugar for both of you, right?”

“Yep.” Virgil said, popping the ‘p’ slightly at the end.

“Yeppers, Jan-Jan!” Roman answered before taking out his own phone to scroll through some… “tasteful'' photos. He liked thinking of their strong hands running down his chest or through his hair…

Janus came back out with the coffee as he sat down to eat, dealing out the drinks. The little family ate in a comfortable silence as they always did every morning, Janus only breaking it for a second to check their plans for the day as he spread a bit of Crofters on a piece of toast. Virgil answered first, putting down his phone for a minute. “Besides work and stuff, I was thinking about maybe putting up some new posters in my room, I’ve been getting into Evenasence.”

“Do you need any help, shadowling? I know the ladder’s not completely stable…” Janus asked.

“Shortie-” Remus smirked as Virgil just rolled his eyes at his older brother.

“Nah, I’ll be fine, I usually give it extra support even when it wasn’t so loose.”

“If you’re sure… Roman?”

“Just gonna hang in the Imagination.”

“You hang out there a lot lately…” Janus remarked smoothly between bites. “Something you’re not telling me?”

“No, no! Dee, I’d never-” Roman sputtered, but Janus just raised his eyebrow.

“Roman, I’m the Lord of Lies. You can’t seriously think I won’t be able to spot one from a mile away?”

“It’s nothing serious, really. Just… uh… I made a friend?” Roman admitted with a sheepish grin.

“Friend…?” Janus asked.

“Uh… yeah! Katy, one of the townspeople in the kingdom, we hang out all the time-” Roman said, beginning to get up quickly. “Anyway, she’s probably waiting for me, I should go.” Roman chugged the rest of his coffee and quickly walked off. “See you guys at six!”

Janus’s eyes narrowed. That boy is hiding something, something big. Virgil just looked at the hallway entrance, where he disappeared to. “That was… weird.”

“You said it.”

“Think he’s gonna do something stupid?” Virgil asked, concerned.

“I dunno.” Janus answered. “Just… check on him when you get the chance for me, okay? I know he likes handling things by himself, but the Imagination’s not completely his domain. If the light sides find him… I’m afraid things could turn ugly.”

“You got it, Chief.” Virgil said, worries already building up in his mind about what his brother could possibly be doing.

----------------------------------------------------------

Roman sighed. That was a close one.

It’s not like he didn’t want to tell them, it’s just… he didn’t think they’d really understand. Roman let out a small sigh before grabbing his bag and sword, and heading through the door to the Imagination. He began the walk as he did every day along the path, smiling at the winged rabbits and the frogs who croaked glitter - some of his best ideas, he’d say.

As the animals became quieter and quieter, he couldn’t help but feel guilt at the edges of his stomach for making Janus worry. He knew that lying as necessary, to make sure they’d never get found out, but if it doesn’t make his stomach churn sometimes. Maybe, when he got back, if he could convince him, he’d finally be able to tell Janius. Maybe it was silly to hide it from him, maybe he’d really, truly understand.

“Hey, Roman! Up here!” His twin looked down at him from the treehouse, smiling and waving in his green and white uniform. He waved, returning the smile as he sat on the ladder, pulling the rope as he ascended, entering their little hideout. As soon as he put the basket down, he was bulldozed to the ground with a giant hug, making him laugh.

“Remus, come on! It hasn’t been that long-”

“Two weeks is like… forever in brother years.” Remus responded, tightening the hug for a moment as Roman returned it.

“Yeah, I’ve missed you too, Rem.”

The two sat down on the picnic blanket, relaxing as the cool wind blew through their small shelter, snacking on Crofters and bread, as well as a few sodas and candies Remus smuggled from the Mindscape kitchen. Roman played a bit with the crisp autumn leaves that blew inside, practicing lifting them up and folding them into shapes.

“Ro, do you ever wonder what it was like… before?” Remus asked, drawing Roman’s attention away from the star he was folding.

“Before? Before what?”

“Before. When we were together.” Remus said, chewing on the jam-stained bread thoughtfully.

“Oh.” Roman said. “I’ve never really thought about it, I guess.”

“We had the whole Imagination just to us, no hiding or running away. No one telling us who we were.” Remus said. “I just think about it sometimes. Daydream, really - what they had looked like, what they did, how everyone used to be. I’d ask more about it, but Patton…” Remus' face fell.

“Hey, we don’t need him.” Roman said, placing a comforting hand on Remus’s shoulder. “We’ll figure it out together.”

Remus smiled. “Thanks, Ro Bro.”

“Oh, I meant to ask,” Roman said. “I just barely got away to get here, Janus was onto me. I was… thinking, since he’s been so open and honest about everything to me-”

“No.” Remus said sternly. “Roman, we can’t. No one can know about this.” His face was a mixture of anger and fear. “Do you know what they’d do?! Roman, they don’t want us to be together, they don’t want us to get along or be happy!”

“But… but Janus isn’t- he’s not one of them!” Roman insisted, getting angry. “If I recall, your little Patton threw us out! Janus… Janus hasn’t done anything except be there for me and Virgil, he wants to protect us!”

“Roman, no.” Remus said. “That’s what he told you.” Roman’s fists clenched in anger, looking toward the ground. Janus wouldn’t lie to him, he wouldn’t-! “Don’t you ever think it’s weird how Dark and Light sides were already made up? How Janus and Patton were both ready to just... take us away?” Janus wouldn’t… he wouldn’t, he promised! “This whole thing was a setup to change who we once were, don’t you see? Patton, Janus, and Logan… they all made us split!”

“That’s not true!” Roman yelled. “Janus told me he’d never lie, he told me it was the truth!”

Remus’s face turned dark. “Roman, he’s the Lord of Lies, don’t you get it?! He was a liar from the very beginning-!”

Then, suddenly, Remus was on the ground, holding his jaw and looking up at his twin with shock. Roman looked down, his hand pumping with adrenaline from the punch. It was only a moment, but Roman could see the pain on his brother’s face, and his anger quickly disappeared. “Remus, I’m-”

“Remus…?” Roman’s heart dropped at the voice. Patton. Suddenly, a whip wrapped around Roman’s arms as he was pulled to the floor, volt shocking through his body, making his breaths slow and body cower. “Remus, are you okay?!” He could only hear footsteps behind him as he struggled to sit up, getting zapped every time he shifted. So his intended ‘he’s fine’ could barely be heard.

“He’s...ugh-!”

“I’m fine, Dad.” Remus said, looking down at Roman, worried.

“Oh Remus I was so scared this morning when I woke up and you weren’t there and things had been stolen, I just knew you were kidnapped by Janus, but… it seems his little protege had other plans.” Patton rambled, looking over Remus for any bruises or injuries like a worried mother. “It’s okay now, you’re finally safe.”

“Dad, please let him go, I wasn’t kidnapped.” Remus said, pulling away from the cardigan wearing side. “He’s done nothing wrong, you’re hurting him!” Remus rushed past Patton to Roman, seeing drops of blood slowly coat his skin as his breathing began to slowly decline. He grabbed his pocket knife and cut the whip, releasing him as he simply slumped to the ground. “Roman, oh my god-!”

Patton simply watched with odd curiosity. Remus helped him sit up a bit, having his weak body lean on him. Roman let out a small coughing fit. “Remus, n-no…” They’d held the secret for so long, they coudln’t give in now!

Remus turned to Patton. “Dad come on, we have to help him!”

Patton slowly walked over, cupping Remus’s cheek. “Oh Remus, what did he do to you?”

“What…?”

“I knew they were bad, but I never throught they’d stoop so low.” Patton said. “Brainwashing a child…” Patton held Remus’s hands as they stood up, Roman on the floor. “Remus, they’re not good - Deception, Lust, Anxiety - they twist and manipulate your mind, that’s why I sent them away, to protect us.” Patton softly tucked Remus’s hair behind his ear. “I failed. I’m... sorry.”

Remus just looked toward the floor, taking a quick glance at his brother, his mind full of thoughts. “Dad, I…”

“I… I don’t know what they told you, and I don’t know if you’d believe me, but I promise you they’re nothing but a family of lying rats.”

“But… but Roman-”

“He doesn’t care about you, and it’s hard to say if he ever has.” Patton said. “Remus, there’s a reason the split occurred. You were being insane, lying and cheating, it wasn’t you. I had to save the real you from him.”

“Save me-?!”

Remus looked over at Roman and the two just looked at each other for a brief moment. “R-remus, I swear... I’d never-”

“Roman, what’s going on here?!” Virgil barked, his weapon Roman had created for him in his hands - a shimmering back bow and silver feathered arrows. Roman struggled to get up against the wall as Virgil entered, notching his arrow quickly and aiming at Patton. “What did you do-?!” He growled. “Where is he?!”

Patton slowly raised his arms. “Don’t shoot, though I’d think your kind wouldn’t hesitate to let a few fly against me, hm?”

“If you so much as hurt a hair on his head, I swear-”

“You’ll what? Kill me?” Patton slowly approached, the arrow pushed slightly against his forehead. “I wouldn’t be surprised, Anxiety. Or should I say Paranoia?”

“Stop avoiding the question and-!”

“V-virgil…” Roman managed weakly, falling to the floor as he took a step, making Virgil turn and rush toward him, taking off his dark sweatshirt and trying to help the bleeding from the electritcity, trying to find some way to help him.

“S-shit-!” Virgil cursed under his breath. “Roman, hold on-”

Patton just looked over at them with anger. “They’ll never change, Remus. It’s in their blood - torturing the innocent with their thoughts and lies and fear. Twsiting reality for their own benefit. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, a part of me thought if I didn’t... I’d protect you.” Patton sighed, turning to Remus with a sad smile. “Let's just go home.” Patton walked past the two dark sides on the floor, and yet Remus stayed frozen. “Come on, Remus. Let’s go.”

Remus slowly approached Virgil and Roman as they slowly got up, Roman leaning on Virgil slightly for support, both just looking at Remus. “Remus, I-”

“Save it.” He growled. “So, this is really it, huh? I was dreaming of such a happy past to be found, for both of us.”

“Remus…”

“But it seems I was nothing but an idiot to believe you, to believe that you were innocent.” His stared turned cold. “All this time, everything we’ve done, everything we’ve been through-”

“Remus, you can’t honestly believe-?!”

“You’re the reason we split, aren’t you?!” Remus snapped. “You’re the reason there’s light and dark sides-” Remus’s voice slowly began to rise with his growing anger, tears going down his face. “You’re the one who brainwashed me into thinking you actually cared!”

“Remus, please…” Roman begged, tears forming in his own eyes as he could feel his heart break into a million pieces at his brother’s words. It can’t be true, it just can’t, he couldn’t have-! Roman grabbed Remus’s wrist as he turned away, prompting Remus to push him to the ground.

“Get away from me, Lust.” Remus practically spat, disgusted.

With that, they left, leaving Roman alone on the floor, crying. Remus actually left him. He believed Patton over him, he hated him, he abandoned him, he didn’t even... love him anymore. Virgil sat next to him, pulling him close and comforting his big brother as he cried, remembering his own day of abandonment and letting a few tears shed down his cheeks. “You don’t need him anymore, Roman. We don’t need any of those assholes, okay? They’re all the same - stuck up pricks.” Virgil spat with venom. “Fuck him.”

-----------------------------------------------------------

Soon enough, Thomas had grown into an adult, and Janus’s concealment of them was getting weaker by the day. Roman and Virgil were scared - they just wanted to do their jobs in peace, and not have to face the constant fear and harassment that loomed over them all their lives. Janus tried to comfort them, but even he was nervous.

One day, they couldn’t find Virgil. Janus and Roman tore through the entire Darkscape and Imagination looking for him, scared of what they might have done to him. Janus had ended his frantic search on the floor, bawling and shaking like a leaf as Roman tried his best to comfort him. “Don’t worry, Jan. Virgil will come back, okay? Virgil’s gonna be alright.”

Janus could do nothing but weep, sniffling. His mouth opened to say something and yet nothing ever came out. His heart felt hollow, and his mind was filled with worry for his family, his son.

Virgil eventually came back later that night, a little stand-offish at first than normal. When he saw Roman and Janus, however, he rushed to their side and apologized, hugging all of them tightly. Finally, Janus found the words as he hugged Virgil tightly, afraid if he let him go he’d lose him again. “Don’t ever leave me again, okay?!”

“O-okay…” Virgil said as he hugged him back, his eyes full of a few tears themselves. “I… I promise.”

They decided that they needed to be on guard, Thomas could summon any one of them now. Their new plan was to try to stand up against the light sides and Thomas, and to stand by each other through thick and thin. So it was - Virgil would get summoned when Thomas needed him and return, telling them all what occurred.

It was around dinnertime on a crisp autumn night when Virgil didn’t return. Worried, they waited as long as they could, the night getting later and later, eventually eating without him, thinking maybe Thomas had a rough night. Virgil showed up not too long after Janus began doing the dishes, looking pensive. “Virgil, thank god you’re okay, we were worried-” Roman said, walking up to give him a hug. Virgil held up his hands to stop him.

“No Roman, I… I need to think.” Virgil said, something in his voice Roman couldn’t place.

“But… but you missed dinner, and-” Roman said, but his protests were in vain as Virgil awkwardly held his arm.

“Yeah, I know. I’m… I’m not that hungry. I don’t mean to worry you both, sorry I’m late.”

“It’s fine, Vee.” Janus smiled. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Virgil smiled back. “If...If you need me, I’ll be upstairs, okay?”

“O-okay.” Roman said, a small comforting smile on his face hiding his confusion.

----------------------------------------------------

Roman was alone.

He knew he was right about them, about the light sides, and yet… yet more and more his family believed them, and… and they left. Virgil changed and moved in with them in a heartbeat after they’d saved him - he wouldn’t even need to be saved if it wasn’t for them in the first place - Vee said they changed. They were more open, accepting, that they loved him.

All Roman could see was fake lies.

When he called it out, Virgil left with an angry rip of his old sweatshirt, leaving Roman wondering what he did, what they did to him. Janus followed suit soon after, claiming that Virgil was really right. Did everyone forget what they did?! Did everyone forgive them so damn quickly for YEARS of torment, of abandoment?! It wasn’t.. It wasn’t fair!

Roman was alone. He was sad, upset, angry...crazy? But finally, after all this time, sane.

He finally knew what they wanted - a villain. Someone to point at and laugh at and crtisize and hurt. Roman couldn’t help but laugh, oh how it all made so much sense! They wanted someone to blame for everything, and still they’re blaming him. Roman’s tears dried as his chuckle echoed throughout the Darkscape.

Well, if they wanted a villain, they’d get one.

Roman snatched up Janus and threw him in the cell, his back making a satisfying crack as it hit the iron bars at the other end, leaving the scaled side to fall into a heap on the floor, letting out a soft groan. Virgil rushed over to help him, shaking like a leaf. “Janus-”

Janus coughed as he sat up again, struggling to get the air that was knocked out of his lungs back. “Roman, let us go! This isn’t funny anymore, let us out right now!”

“The pathetic thing is that you still think it’s a joke, Deceit.” Roman laughed, walking over toward the mirror to put on his crown. His hair was tidy and a crisp black prince outfit stood in place of his normal clothes as he fiddled with the collar, admiring his reflection. “I’m afraid your presence here is, well, essential to my plan.”

“P-plan…?” Janus questioned. “Roman whatever you’re going through we can figure it out together, okay? We’re a family-”

“Don’t you DARE utter that word again, you lying snake-!” Roman snapped, looking toward him with a cold sharp stare. “You choose those...those bastards over your own family, you left me for them.” His fists clenched as he hit the bars hard, making Janus jump and Virgil to cling to his side closer. “You don’t GET to be my family anymore.”

“Roman…” Roman could hear the emotion forming in Janus’s voice as he turned away to look out the window for a second before grabbing his sword to sharpen. “Roman, why…?”

“Why?!” Roman pointed his sword at Janus accusingly. “You both abandoned me and left me alone for people who hurt us, who kicked us toi the curb when things got tough.” He steadied himself, slowly calming his demeanor. “But, I guess i really should thank you both. Without you two, I’d have never realized my true role in all of this.”

“Role?”

“Oh, haven’t you heard, Jan?” Roman smiled slyly. “It seems as if I’m cast as the villain right now, what a shame. Would’ve really rathered playing the hero, but I guess you take what you can get these days, hm?”

“Roman.” Someone growled. Roman heard a voice from behind him, and just from the tone he already knew who it was. He wasn’t scared. He was playing his part beautifully, as he was always meant to be. He turned just as Remus struck with his morning star, weapons clashing. Remus looked extremely angry, and Roman couldn’t help but smile.

“Wondered when you’d show up.”

“Let them go, Roman.” Remus growled, looking ready to pounce. Roman just let out a soft chuckle, turning into a giggle, soon his crazed laughter filled the room, making Remus hesitate in shock and confusion. “R-ro…?”

“Oh, what a hero! Man, we should have been playing this way from the start, this is so much better!” Roman laughed. “Would’ve done without ripping out my heart and feeding it to me, though. Notes for next time, ey?”

“Next...time?”

“Yeah, maybe not draw it out too much. Really make my life hell near the beginning and save us all some trouble, yeah?” Roman smiled, clashing swords with his brother.

“This isn’t some game, Roman!” Remus shouted. “Release them right now, or…”

“Or you’ll what? Finish me off? Would be a bit of a gruesome scene for the kiddies, no?” Roman asked casually. “A bit dark for the hero, isn’t it?”

“H-hero…? But.. but I-”

“Well, please Remus, there’s no need to insist here, if you really like that ending, who am I to stop the famous hero’s wishes?” Roman calmly smiled as he dropped to his knees, dropping his weapon and kneeling his head. “Uh, maybe make it a bit quick, if you will? It’s my first time with a beheading before.”

“Roman...I…” Remus looked down to his twin, head bowed, and then to his morning star. “Roman, stop it! This isn’t right-!”

“Right? Hm, where have I heard that one before?!” Roman yelled, snapping to his feet to grab Remus’s neck and slam it into a nearby wall. “Guess you were smarter than you knew back then, huh? The bad of what we used to be…” Roman gestured to himself with a snicker. “It’s all right here, baby.” With a bit of creative magic he’d chained Remus by the neck, laughing as he snatched Remus’s glistening silver and green crown as he slowly lowered it over his head, turning pitch black. “Finally, after all these years, I get to take something from you, brother.”

As he marched toward the balcony, his shadow crossing over the iron cage as the two former dark sides huddled together in comfort and protection. He walked out as the sun slowly began to rise over Remus’s… no, HIS kingdom. He smiled as he watched his subjects come out of their houses, as he sat on the railing, legs crossed.

“People of Creativia, there’s been a slight change in management as of late-” He began. “As of now, I, Roman, am your new ruler and crowned Prince, and I hereby demote the status of your former ruler Remus to outlaw.” He heard murmurs from below. “Now, with that out of the way, let a new era of fear and evil plague this once happy town.”

“Welcome, everyone, and meet your Dark Prince.”

#dark roman sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #creativity sanders #anxiety sanders #janus sanders #deceit sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #morality sanders #logic sanders #logan sanders #familial creativtwins #familial dark sides #sanders sides #sander sides #sanders sides fic #my writing

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taxicabinmemphis · 3 years

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Janus gets a snake!! Maybe it's a human au and his partner adopted it with him and they're living together, maybe someone gave him one as a surprise (this could be human or not. Maybe they just conjured it.) The possibilities are endless, but I need Janus with a snake

it is a common fact that I can’t write anything without two people being cute with each other so this is gonna be shippy

tw food, swearing

Janus picked up the box. It had a lot of minuscule holes in it and was sealed tightly with tape. Janus looked up at his best friend with a raised eyebrow, pulling his pocket knife out of his pocket and cutting the tape covering the box. He went to open the flaps, but a scarred hand met his elbow to halt his movements.

"Be careful, Snexy," Remus warned, "this birthday present moves."

Janus slowly turned back to the box, and as cautious and slow as ever, opened the flaps. His eyes widened and he flinched when a blur that looked like a large, bright yellow noodle flung itself his way.

Janus fell to the floor and slid away from his two-eyed, squiggly birthday present and into the wall behind him. His eyes widened as he realized he was cornered and was too distracted by the fear of being devoured by a yellow power cord to register the implications of Remus' wickedly delighted laughter.

He was only able to bring the pool noodle into focus when it crawled onto his left arm. He would have flinched at the boundary violation, but he was frozen in fear. When the longest piece of penne pasta stilled, he was able to see that he was much closer with the power cord analogy than the pool noodle. A somewhat small yellow snake a little more than twice the thickness of a power cord was coiled around his arm and was looking at him with dark brown eyes too innocent-looking to belong to a reptile.

Janus swallowed, his relief that it wasn’t anything he had a phobia of not showing too well on his face. He stared into the snake’s eyes, its innocence not preventing it from looking like it was gazing into the depths of Janus’ soul.

“You got me a snake.”

“Yep!” Remus exclaimed happily, laughter calming down. “One that is just like you! Small, yellow, and brown eyes.”

“Yes, Remus, my scales are definitely yellow. It’s not like they’re green or anything.” Janus rolled his eyes, electing not to comment on the “small” jab of Remus’ remark so as not to provoke him into a session of height-teasing.

“Irrelevant,” Remus dismissed, bounding towards them. “Do you like it?”

Janus bit his lip. “I will have to decide as we get to know each other better. Though, considering it was you who conjured it, my hopes aren’t too high.”

“Virgil and Roman helped me, actually. I mentioned my present idea to them and they didn’t want you to be stuck with an annoying snake or whatever, so they helped me to make sure the snake wouldn’t be too unbearable or disturbing.”

“How kind of them.”

Footsteps were heard descending the staircase, prompting the two dark sides to turn. Patton was standing at the bottom of the steps and looked as though he was trying to figure out what was going on.

“I got Janus a snake for his birthday!” Remus told him cheerily.

Patton visibly paled. “That’s...awesome, kiddo! I hope the opening of the present didn’t rattle Janus too badly.”

Janus rolled his eyes. “Brilliant, Patton, truly. And no, I’m fine.”

Remus scoffed. “You’re on the floor like a-”

“Anyway,” Janus interrupted, getting to his feet, “what can we do for you, Patton?”

Patton shook his head. “I just heard the noise and came to check things out.”

Janus nodded and looked at his arm. Despite Janus standing up, the snake was still coiled around his arm and was now looking up at him.

“Does your snake have a name yet?” Patton asked excitedly, walking over to where Janus was but keeping a substantial distance.

Janus shook his head, indicating a negative. “Definitely. It’s not like I just got him or anything.”

Patton gasped, putting his hands over his mouth. “I’ve got it! Let’s name him Jake the Snake.”

“So my snake is just a tool for alliteration for you?”

Patton made a sound of offense. “I just think it’s cute.”

“And I seem like the type to give my snake such a name?”

Patton gave a small laugh and shook his head. “No, but it would be fun! It’s not like you have a better name.”

Janus narrowed his eyes playfully at Patton. “Watch me find one.”

---

Pamela the Snake had adjusted to Janus’ room nicely, for an atypical species of pet. While annoying at times (quite often), Janus had created an attachment to the yellow nuisance. The two serpentine figments of the imagination were now perfecting semi-telepathic communication.

(You see, Remus is this exhausting thing called “extra” about 784% of the time and told Janus that if they worked at it, he and Pamela could communicate through means of telepathy and minimal hissing.)

Janus didn’t like to trap Pamela in one place, and he could tell his snake felt similarly. So, Pamela slept in a terrarium, but either roamed around Janus’ room or coiled around his neck or limb(s) during the day.

‘Janusssssss, get a ssssnack.’

‘I’m working, Pamela. And dinner was two hours ago.’

‘Take a break. sssss.’

‘Fine.’

Janus stepped away from his laptop and sunk out of his room, Pamela coiled around his shoulder. He walked into the kitchen and was pleasantly surprised to see that the large bag of pretzels Virgil had opened earlier was not yet finished. He got a bowl from a cabinet and poured in some pretzels. He spotted Roman approaching from his peripheral vision.

Janus picked up his bowl of pretzels and greeted Roman with a half-smile.

“Greetings, Janus!” Roman said loudly.

“Hello.”

“Is Pamela with you? Should I greet them too?”

Janus nodded. “Pamela is on my shoulder.”

“Hi, Pamela!”

‘Hi, Roman. sss’

“They say hi.”

Roman grinned happily and went into the kitchen as Janus left it.

‘How is Remussssssssssss? I wanna sssssssay hi.’

‘He’s alright. We will see him for game night in fifteen minutes.’

‘Okay. sssss’

Janus diverted his focus from his conversation with Pamela to find Logan descending the staircase.

“Salutations, Janus.”

“Good evening, Logan.”

‘Hi, Logan. How hassssss your day been?’

‘Logan can’t hear you.’

‘But he can hear you. ssss’

“I hear your hissing. Is Pamela trying to say something?”

Janus sighed, annoyed at his snake. “Yes. They want to know how your day has been.”

At this, Pamela uncoiled from Janus’ shoulder and slithered on top of his hat. They then slithered as far off the hat and in Logan’s direction as they could, looking at him with expectant eyes.

Logan tilted his head up to meet Pamela’s gaze. “My day has been satisfactory, Pamela, and I hope yours has been similar.”

‘Ssss thank you, Logan.’

“They say thanks.”

Pamela leaned their head close to Janus’ ear.

‘Kissssssssss him.’

Janus’ mouth dropped. ‘What? What are you talking about?? No!’

‘You know you want to. ssss’

‘No, no I don’t!’

‘Why not? I told you to get a ssssnack. There’s one right here.’

Janus sputtered. ‘Many reasons!’

‘Pssssss Logan. Janusssssss wantssss to kissssss you.’

‘If you think I’m relaying that to him, you’ve got another thing coming, Pamela.’

Logan put a hand over his mouth, and Janus could see his eyes crinkle. Was he smiling?

“Does your snake have something to say to me, Janus?”

Janus huffed. “No. Not at all.”

‘I don’t, but you do. Ssssssso tell him.’

“I think that may be false.”

Janus put a hand to his forehead, looking at Logan through his fingers. He could now see from the way Logan’s eyes were alight and the hand that had moved a couple of inches away from his mouth so he could speak that Logan was indeed smiling. Janus swallowed, knowing his embarrassing conversation with his snake was almost definitely the reason for that.

‘Pretty Logan sssssmile.’

‘If you’re so keen on him then you kiss him.’

‘I’m a sssssssnake, you moron. ssss’

Janus groaned into his hand, trying to give Logan a look that could make him pity Janus and set him free from this conversation.

“Is Pamela troubling you, Janus?”

“Very much so. Would it be alright if I permanently relinquished care of them to you?”

‘Villain! sss’

“I don’t think Pamela would be fond of that idea.”

Janus rolled his eyes. “Maybe not. All the better; make them miserable.”

‘If you kissssssssed him you could ssssshare cussssstody.’

‘For the last time, I do not want to kiss Logan. I do not see him that way.’

‘Asssss your love would sssay, falssssssssehood.’

Janus wasn’t able to dignify that with a response because Logan took a few steps closer to the pair. He made eye contact with Pamela.

“You clearly have something to say. Is Janus unwilling to relay it to me?”

Pamela stuck their tongue out at Logan in a hiss and slithered their head up and down.

“Ah. Janus, you seem to be making Pamela,” he pulled out a flashcard, “angy. In order to properly deal with this, I would suggest telling me what they have to say so you can eat your pretzels without any disturbance.”

Putting Logan’s adorable flashcards and uses of modern slang that made Janus want to pepper kisses across his entire face aside, Janus was annoyed that this conversation had yet to be over. He, a master of deception, figured that it would be wise to craft a lie that would satisfy Logan and get him out of here.

“They’re offering you pretzels. I don’t want to give you any, though.”

‘Sss liar. sss’

Logan exhaled. “Well, that is very kind of you, Pamela. Since they are Janus’ pretzels and he wishes to keep them to himself, I think I will pass.”

“Great,” Janus said quickly.

‘Look how hot and ssssse-’

Janus’ face paled. “Bye!”

He raced past Logan and up the staircase.

---

Logan tapped his pen to his chin. Over the past week, he’d had several interactions with Janus and Pamela that occupied his mind, starting with the pretzel incident seven days before. Throughout these interactions, Pamela and Janus seemed to hiss angrily at each other, and Janus refused to translate. This worried Logan, and while at first he was fooled, he worried that something else was going on. After all, most of these interactions ended awkwardly and even the oblivious Logan could tell that Janus was trying to avoid him. While their interactions over the week needed two hands to number, that was over a seven day period and they lived in the same area. Logan had interacted with Roman probably thirty times or more in the past week. Logan could only count six with Janus.

More than that, Janus was clearly trying to cut their interactions short. One time when Janus had looked particularly uncomfortable, he straight-up ran out of the conversation without so much as a goodbye and didn’t even let himself be seen by Logan for the entirety of the following day. There was no other way to interpret his behavior except that he was ignoring him.

Not to mention, Pamela had been hissing in every single one.

Was the snake trying to convince Janus to insult him? Did Pamela know of malice Janus held for him that Logan didn’t?

Logan was startled from his thoughts when Virgil appeared in his room.

“Hey, dude. I can hear anxiety coming from here.” Virgil conjured a chair and dragged it to Logan’s desk, sitting beside him. He put his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his fist. “I rarely feel anxiety from you, so I thought I’d check things out. What’s up?”

“You have confused me, Virgil. I do not feel any anxiety,” Logan said genuinely.

Virgil made a noise communicating doubt. “I know I didn’t hear wrong. Here, how about you tell me what’s on your mind and I’ll see if I can spot any anxiety in your thoughts?”

Logan nodded. “That seems adequate. I do believe I may need another intelligent mind to help me make sense of these findings.”

Virgil bit his lip at the compliment. “I’m happy to help, L.”

Logan nodded and turned to face Virgil properly. “So, it’s about Janus.”

“Snake dude.”

“Yes. About a month ago, Remus gave him a snake, Pamela. Recently, Janus and Pamela have been communicating through telepathy via hissing that no one else can understand. This has been fine until about a week ago when they started hissing at each other anytime Janus and I would interact. The hissing seems to be angry on Janus’ part, he won’t translate for me, and he ends up ending the conversation awkwardly and then running off.”

Virgil frowned. “That’s weird. Maybe Pamela is insulting Janus or something?”

Logan shook his head. “I’ve heard and seen him interact with people like Patton with no trouble at all. Whenever Pamela hisses, he’ll translate, and that’s that. Unless you have had similar-”

“No. Whenever Pamela hisses when Janus and I are talking, he translates. We haven’t had any awkward interactions in a while since Janus is usually good at keeping things from getting awkward.”

Logan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Then what could they be saying?”

“Did you think of anything? If you tell me what you’ve brainstormed so far, I can tell you if any of those can be sources of anxiety.”

“Well, my first thought was that Pamela was trying to get Janus to insult me, or knew of concealed malice Janus held for me. Could that elicit anxiety?”

Virgil snorted. “Of course. Your brain is mistakenly telling you that Janus hates you.”

“It’s certainly a possibility,” Logan defended. “Considering how he has been ignoring me, it is a logical conclusion.”

“Yeah, but I think the more logical conclusion to make is that Pamela is saying something related to you that is making him uncomfortable in your presence.”

Logan frowned. “I don’t like that either.”

Virgil laughed. “Why not? That’s their problem. They’ll sort things out and things’ll be back to normal between you two. It has nothing to do with you.”

“But it does! The only person Pamela is saying those things around is me!”

Virgil’s movements halted. “You really care about this, don’t you?”

“What?” Logan asked. He shook his head. “Certainly not. I simply want to make sure I haven’t upset Janus in any-”

“Bullshit,” Virgil said in a sing-song tone. “You care. I don’t kno-ohhhhhhhh.”

Virgil adopted a shit-eating grin and leaned his head closer to Logan with a shake of his head, wondering how he didn’t come to this conclusion sooner.

“What?”

Virgil snickered. “You like him.”

Logan shrugged. “Sure. He is an intelligent and intriguing side who does his job as Deceit in an acceptably functional manner and we have conversations I would consider intellectually stimulating. He is a fellow side, a fri-”

“No. You like him.”

Logan’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “That’s what I just confirmed, Virgil.”

Virgil sighed. “No. Like as in, you probably want to back him against a wall and kiss the living daylights out of him. Maybe watch romantic documentaries together? Have a debate littered with sexual tension that ends in a make-out session? All of that? None? I don’t know what smart people do when in love.”

Logan’s mouth fell open. He started to stumble out a response. “I- No...that is a blatant lie-”

Virgil shook his head firmly. “Nope. It isn’t. I’m shocked I didn’t see it before. Looking back, I see the way you’ve looked at him, laughed at unfunny things he says, and smiled at him for no reason at all. You’re in love~”

Logan stared at him for a few minutes with a blank expression. He then put his head in his hands. “Oh my god, I am, aren’t I?”

Virgil awkwardly patted his back. “It’s okay...but yes, you are.”

Logan groaned. “And he hates me.”

Virgil drew back. “What? No! Of course he doesn’t!”

“How would you know? His actions seem to be communicating that he does.”

Virgil pursed his lips, thinking. “If I see any sign of hatred, or lack thereof, in any of your conversations in the near future, I will tell you. Okay?”

Logan nodded.

“Okay. I’ll leave you to your pining, Logan.”

---

Pamela would not shut up around Logan, and frankly, Janus wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take. They were constantly hissing about how hot Janus must think he was (essspecially in that outfit, Janusss, that sshirt is making you go crazy, I’m ssssure of it), telling Janus to kiss him, among other things. Janus could not keep his cool around Logan and always had to leave. He knew he wouldn’t act on Pamela’s suggestions, but they still prompted embarrassment and a desire to escape Logan’s presence.

So, for the past week, he had been trying to ignore Logan as best he could. He predicted his typical meal times, breaks, and when he would normally get water based on observations he had made throughout their friendship (for totally not gay at all reasons) and tried his best to stay in his room during those times. Of course, there was margin for error and days where he wasn’t as adamant to escape Logan as others, but he managed to have a full week of having only six interactions with him.

Did Janus miss him? Maybe. Did Pamela miss Logan? Definitely. Did either of those facts matter? Not in the slightest. Janus was fine with only keeping constant contact with four of his five fellow sides. And things would’ve continued to be fine if it weren’t for fucking Pamela.

‘I wanna sssssee Logan, Janussss, go talk to him. ss’

‘Not unless you behave. We’ve already had thisss talk and you alwayss sssay ssomething out of line, even if you promisssed not to beforehand.’

‘But I wanna ssssee him, and sssssso do you.’

‘I do not!’

‘Yesssssss.’

‘How would you know, anyway, if I did?’

‘Caussse you’re not ssssubtle about it.’

‘I take great offenssse to that.’

‘You sssssshould.’

Janus grumbled out some incomprehensible nonsense, electing to get some dry cereal for a snack. Pamela wrapped themself around Janus’ neck and rested their head over Janus’ ear. Janus sunk out of his room and appeared at the bottom of the staircase, where he then made to the kitchen. He poured some dry cereal into a bowl and headed for the sofa, deciding to eat there.

About halfway through his bowl of grainy dryness, he spotted with terrified eyes, Logan walking down the staircase. He realized he didn’t check his list of times Logan was normally in the kitchen or living room, and that now was one of those times. He wondered bitterly if a part of him purposely forgot just so he could see Logan again, for the first time in twenty-eight hours.

‘Go talk to him. sss’

Janus opened his mouth to respond, but closed it and looked to his food when Logan’s head started to turn in his direction. Janus took another bite of his dry cereal, pretending like he didn’t notice Logan’s presence.

Janus heard footsteps making their way over to his spot.

‘I don’t think I’ll have a choice, Pam.’

The footsteps stopped. “Good afternoon, Janus.”

Janus looked up and plastered on a small smile.

‘Oh my gosssssh look at that outfit, Janusssssss, you must think he issss ssssso hot!’

“Hello, Logan.”

Janus turned back to his cereal to take another bite.

‘You’re a rude friend. ssss’

‘Bold of you to assssume I’m a friend.’

‘Logan deservesssss better.’

‘Indeed.’

Pamela angrily hissed at Janus.

“How has your day been, Janus?”

Janus looked back to Logan. “As well as a day can be with a snake hovering nearby all the time.”

Logan gave him an amused smile. “It can’t be too terrible. I’ve heard Patton say he would love having a pet that talked to him.”

“I think even he would get tired of Pamela.”

“That bad, hmm?”

Janus chuckled as another hiss sounded loudly in his left ear. “At times. They’re fine a lot of the time, but they’ve also been rather annoying over certain topics.”

“At least it’s not all the time.”

“It feels like it.”

‘Tell him you love him. ss’

‘I will not.’

Logan’s eyes finally spotted Pamela. “What’re they saying, if I may?”

“Nothing of importance.”

‘Are you kidding? I am the mossst important thing in your life right now, but it would be Logan if you weren’t a coward. ssss’

Logan frowned, noticing that no matter how stupid something was, Janus would always translate what Pamela was saying to him with any other person. “Are you sure? Pamela seems quite incessant.”

‘I am! Your boy isss quite attentive. ssss’

‘He’sss not my boy, nor is he a boy, conssssidering he is an adult. Sstop.’

“They are indeed being incessant. It doesn’t mean it is of any importance.”

‘I think you sssshould take him out on a date tonight. You’ve done all the work you need to already, and you need to make up for the rudenesssss you’re dissssplaying right now. ss’

Janus stood promptly, bowl in hand. “Thank you for your concern, Logan. However, I have a bunch of work left to do today, and I need to return to it.”

He started to sink out, but Logan’s hand clasped around his wrist and pulled him back up. He took the cereal from Janus’ hand and set it on the table. Janus looked at him with wide eyes.

“Apologies, Janus, I did not mean to catch you so off guard,” said Logan, noticing Janus’ shock. “However, you have been avoiding me.”

“Where did you get that from?”

Logan rolled his eyes. “I asked Virgil, and he said that he’s had normal, regular interactions with you over the past week. I can’t say I’ve seen you more than seven times.”

“Do you need to see me more often?” Janus asked.

“Um, well, no-” Logan stumbled. “But I was worried. Have I done something to offend you in any way? I sincerely apologize if I ha-”

“No, Logan, not at all,” Janus said, his voice suddenly softer. “You haven’t done anything of the sort and don’t need to apologize.”

‘Now look what you’ve done! He’ssss feeling guilty for no reassson, and it’ssss your fault. Maybe we sssshouldn’t be pursssuing him if you treat him like thisss.’

“Is Pamela saying something again?” Logan asked solemnly.

“Yeah,” Janus answered. “They’re chastising me.”

Logan snorted. “I can’t imagine what for. Either way, I want to know your reasons for ignoring me.”

Janus put a hand on his neck, brainstorming good lies.

“I don’t want you to lie to me. If you lie, we can’t sort things out.”

Janus sighed, dropping his hand. He instead pondered the pros and cons of telling Logan the truth, that Pamela was trying to matchmake them.

“Does Pamela know something you feel towards me that I don’t?”

‘I told you you’re not fucking sssubtle.’

‘Who taught you sswear words???’

‘Remusssss.’

“Do you hate me?”

Janus was startled out of his conversation with Pamela at those words. He opened his mouth to respond but he was at a loss. He didn’t understand how Logan could ever think he hated him. Where did he go wrong?

“Ah. I see you are unwilling to respond. You don’t need to figuratively sugarcoat anything. I was simply curious. The improvement of our communication with each other depends on our understanding and sharing of the opinions we have regarding each other. Only then can we work together properly. I don’t mind. This will be good, so we no longer have any questions-”

Janus was too busy being worried over the future of his friendship with Logan to appreciate how cute he was when rambling. “I honestly don’t know know if you’re blind, insecure, and/or deaf but everything you’ve said in the past two minutes has been baseless and wrong.”

Logan stopped short, looking at Janus like a deer in headlights.

“...What?”

“You heard me. What, in all of our interactions, makes you think I hate you?”

“I...”

“I’m talking with Virgil more than I’m talking to you. Do you know how much Virgil and I used to hate each other, how much shit we’ve gone through? Yet, he and I are still talking normally. You really think that I hate you?”

“It was the logical conclusion from the facts at hand-”

“You were jumping to a conclusion based on cognitive distortions-”

“I resent that!”

Janus stopped to look at Logan’s face. He looked so indignant, impulsive, and so so very confused. Janus didn’t need Pamela for there to be a voice telling him to kiss Logan in that moment. Janus needed to approach this with more care than he was in the present. Logan had clearly been caught up about this.

“This is bothering you, huh?”

“I want our working relationship to be as functional as possible.”

Janus laughed with no humor, shaking his head. “No.” He exhaled. “You want me to tell you, Logan?”

Logan nodded.

Janus put a gloved hand on Logan’s shoulder and gently pushed him to sit on the sofa. Janus sat next to him.

He closed his eyes. “This will negatively affect our working relationship.”

“I imagine so, considering my conclusion came to be quite negative.”

“Not for that reason,” said Janus. “Pamela can read me like a picture book for infants. I do have feelings for you that you are unaware of. Pamela has been harassing me over it. Every time you and I have a conversation, they always implore me to do something that would ultimately end our friendship.”

“Pamela hates me?”

Janus shook his head, repressing a scoff at Logan’s obliviousness. “They always remind me of my desire to be in a romantic relationship with you and try to get me to act on that wish. The result is me feeling a bit...awkward. So, I leave.”

Logan’s lips parted. He didn’t respond for a couple of minutes.

Janus swallowed and nodded. He rose from the sofa and made to sink out. “It was nice being your friend, Logan, you’re a wond-”

Janus didn’t notice that Logan’s hand was still on his wrist. It was, and it tightened around his wrist for the second time in this interaction, stopping Janus from leaving. Logan turned his head to meet Janus’ eyes.

“I wasn’t aware you were able to feel the same.”

It was Janus’ turn to be taken by surprise. He searched Logan’s gaze for a lie, but he could see nor sense none. His hand covered his mouth and he sat back down.

Logan seemed to adjust to the new information, no longer being the one caught by surprise. He moved his free hand to the human side of Janus’ face, taking his hand from his mouth.

Logan made no move to hide that his gaze was fixated on Janus’ lips. “And the methods of acting on these feelings you have been encouraged to engage in...”

Janus caught his lips in a kiss. Logan kissed back, dropping Janus’ wrist to rest a hand on his scales, the other going around his waist.

They pulled apart after a minute, both of them smiling.

‘My work here isss done.’

‘Don’t you dare think you’re ever leaving my cussstody.’

‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’

Logan chuckled. “What is it?” He brushed a lock of Janus’ hair behind his ear.

“They’re happy for us.”

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @justanotherhumanstuff @merlinfreya27

Thanks for the prompt! I really loved writing this and there isn’t enough Loceit anywhere. I know this was probably supposed to be snake-fixated but I really liked the idea of the snake making Janus get his act together and kiss the boy. I hope you liked it!

#loceit #ts fanfic #sanders sides #janus sanders #logan sanders #romantic loceit #pamela the snake #fic #prompt #somehow-i-got-an-account #ts janus #ts logan #swearing tw #food tw #kill writes #sanders sides fanfic

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hteragram-x · 4 years

Text

Remus Sanders is an artist HCs

I think that there are too many people who sleep on the fact that Remus is an artist. I mean… sure… his creativity is probably mostly spent on creating disturbing thoughts and coming up with lewd jokes. But I refuse to believe that he does not make art just for the cool aesthetic or to put his ideas into a tangible object (or performance). I’ve seen more stories where Virgil was an artist for some reason... and Remus wasn’t even if he’s a literal embodiment of Creativity. Gotta fix it.

We know that Roman is an excellent singer and actor. He can draw (Mona Lisa) and write (gift for Logan; songs; poetry) as well. But he couldn’t really play an instrument (see: Moving On) and he mentioned that Thomas probably shouldn’t show his dancing skills, so maybe he’s not the best at that too. He’s good at costume design and tried interior design as well. The list goes on. He clearly has his strengths and weaknesses in this department.

So what about his brother? (get ready for that Creativitwins content… and maybe some hints at Intrulogical and Dukeceit too)

...

1. Remus is great at playing instruments. He can play almost everything he tries if you give him a few minutes to check how it works. But being his chaotic self he most often plays instruments that are super loud and annoying.

2. When no one listens he sometimes tries instruments that are more soft and romantic, but you’ll lost your ears and eyes if you ever discover it. Deceit once did. He promised to not tell anyone, but he still remembers the sight of Remus with a silver harp, singing some angsty ballad like a dramatic bastard he is.

3. He likes to make his own instruments too. From everything. And I mean everything. Which includes vegetables, bones, soil, parts of furniture or dirty laundry. Don’t ask.

4. He’s good at singing, but prefers playing.

5. So he often plays for Roman and since they both enjoy coming up with their own songs they regularly perform something one of them wrote.

6. They sometimes try rap battles, so Roman can practice for his eventual rematch with Logan, but rapping is really not their style. And most often than not they end up laughing too much to perform and just add as much nonsense and disgusting jokes to the lyrics as possible.

7. And maybe when Thomas was younger they had a very “hardcore” band called: The Empire Has Fallen. And maybe they sang about not being loved and appreciated. So what? None of our business.

8. Remus is great at sewing (yes, sometimes it means visiting the sewers). And costume design (have u seen his clothes?!). At first most of his drawings were inspired by Roman’s – he just wanted to do something that was a complete opposite. But later he gave himself more creative freedom.

9. Remus designed and made Janus’ costume. I mean… the snake boy is fashionable and all. But it doesn’t mean he can create something on his own. He just said “black and yellow… and I want a hat” and Remus was like: “ALREADY ON IT!” (at first he gave him a bee costume with a top hat as a joke).

10. He’s not great at interior design, because he values the creepy aesthetic over comfort and practicality. So his room was mostly created by Roman who kept the colour scheme and the atmosphere of a damp and weirdly luxurious basement, but added a lot of pillows and greenish lamps in various corners. (There was a long argument about keeping the artistic bloodstains on the walls.)

---

11. He’s excellent with make-up. But he does not try too hard while doing his own, because he likes to look like he has not slept for two weeks.

12. He can dance, but doesn’t do that often. Especially since part of his charm is being intentionally ungraceful and positioning his limbs at weird angles. However, he dances with Roman or Janus if they want to. (With Roman it often ends in a playful fight; with Janus dancing can turn into a semi-romantic, passionate performance to some villain songs.)

13. He’s just as good at drawing as Roman, but obviously their inspirations are very different. Remus most often draws people… with way too many details and a lot of attention to anatomical correctness. You know exactly what he draws. I’m not gonna say it.

14. Logan taught Remus a lot about anatomy of both humans and animals so he can draw as realisticaly as possible. And if they dissected a body in the basement to be extra sure how the liver looks that’s also none of our business.

15. When they were kids Patton promised he will put his drawing on the fridge next to Roman’s if he promises to not draw blood and corpses. Initially he drew some disturbing pictures of naked people to mess with the rest of the sides, but only Logan could look at them without being too grossed out. And since Remus really wanted some validation, he showed Patton his designs of new weapons and pictures of deep-sea creatures (some real, some fictional). A few of them were on the fridge for so long that the ink has slightly faded.

16. The pictures of sea creatures were partially responsible for Logan��s fear of the bottom of the ocean. But it’s a phobia fuelled by curiosity and scientific fascination so he does not complain and often complements the most terrifying designs.

17. His weirdest creative outlet is creating new animals. (Roman’s manticore-chimera was heavily inspired by Remus’ mush-ups). And maybe he sometimes invites a certain local nerd to admire his work and help him with coming up with Latin-based names for his dear abominations. And maybe they enjoy adding antlers to fish a little bit too much. And then giggling about it. Stop judging. Gosh…

18. Remus is unfamiliar with the term minimalism. Or rather he pretends it does not exist. With his ideas the concept of “less is more” will never apply.

19. He loves sculpting. He’s not great with it, but you can make a big mess with clay, so he finds it relaxing. Sewing is also relaxing, but in a more “I’m already calm so let’s do something tame” sort of way. Sculpting is better to vent. Ya know… create a face out of clay and then punch it real hard. Or smash a block of granite with a mace and see what interesting shapes you end up with.

20. The art he’s most embarrassed with (if he’s capable of such a feeling at all) is his doodles. He thinks they’re too soft and cute. But he draws them anyway, because sometimes he’s just tired, but still needs to do something with fidgeting hands and all the ideas buzzing in his head like a swarm of hornets.

...

More to be added. I myself am full ideas.

[I did part 2. It’s HERE, if you’re interested.]

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armageddonouttahere · 3 years

Text

Consolation

Title: Consolation

Summary: Takes place after “Putting Others First”, in which Roman sinks into his room and doesn’t leave for a while. Logan is the only one not preoccupied enough to come and lure him out, but in this he has to face emotions he’s been putting on the backburner for a long time.

Pairings: Romantic Logince, background platonic Moxiety

Warnings: Crying, self-doubt, insecurity, negative thinking

Rating: General Audiences

Genres: Fluff, Hurt/comfort (with a happy ending)

Word count: 2,500

A/N: Here we are, at last! I had cranked out the last couple paragraphs of this fic just an hour ago, and I’m very excited. This had gone from a little Logince comfort drabble to a fic of 2,500 words (exactly, though I didn’t do that on purpose). I hope anyone who sees this enjoys it, and everyone who’s been waiting for it likes it even more, after all this suspense. Taglist will be at the end, under the cut.

________________________________________________________________

Logan was at a loss. The aftermath of Janus’ name reveal left all the sides shaken and fragile. Especially Roman. Logan wanted to help, he wanted to be able to tell Roman with certainty that he will be okay, that everything will be alright. Logan needed to be able to look Roman in the eyes and know that the words that came out of his mouth are truths.

But he can’t. So, Logan focused on the problems he could solve. He endeavoured to keep Thomas in working order, though on the inside he may be struggling. Virgil seemed to have taken a backseat, focused on watching over Patton. The most he’d seen of the anxious side was weekly updates and reports on Patton’s condition, how he was feeling, which Logan appreciated greatly. He needed all the positive data he could get.

As the logical side, Logan was somewhat attuned with the other sides’ reasoning and thought process. He needed this information to be accurate in order to know how Thomas works, how he functions. He knew how the other sides try to solve problems, how they understand things. When something or someone throws a wrench in the system it’s one of the few things that affected Logan physically.

In the aftermath after Roman sank out Logan had migraines for weeks. Roman’s flawed logic- his flawed perception of himself- is the one thing that has caused Logan the most physical pain. Roman’s view of himself shifted so drastically to the negative end that Logan felt… sorry? For him?

He felt… he- he felt. Roman made him feel. What did he feel, exactly? Empathy? It was true that Roman’s emotional pain gave Logan physical pain, but the shared anguish went further than that. Logan knew what it’s like to feel wrong, to feel unheard. He related to Roman. He knew what he’s going through.

Their opinions may differ, but Roman still needed consolation. Logan won’t further his belief that Janus is the villain, but Roman doesn’t need a scolding or a lecture, skewed though his viewpoint of Janus may be. He needed someone to listen to him, someone to comfort him.

Logan was aware that he’s no optimal candidate for the matter, not the first choice for consolation (nor the second). He does not possess the endless cuddles and comfort food of Patton, nor does he have the quiet understanding and listening ears of Virgil. His only way of reassuring the prince is through data, probabilities, and chances. Inadequate. Unsatisfactory. Definitely not enough.

Logan made a plan. A plan to make Roman feel better. A plan to get Roman to open his door, something he hadn’t done in two weeks. He gathered things he believed he would need in order to cheer Roman up: the Sherlock screenplay Roman had gifted him at Christmastime, Logan’s book of Shakespeare’s plays (Hamlet being pre-marked with a red sticky-note, in case Roman is feeling increasingly dramatic and macabre), his journal for note-taking, vocab cards, and his laptop- which has a playlist compilation full of ‘cute’ animal videos at the ready. All of this was needed for Logan to get up the courage to knock on Roman’s door. He felt as if he’s putting on an armour of sorts. Preparing himself for battle.

It’s quite funny- the logical side needs bravery and courage to step outside his area of expertise and comfort the prince of the group.

May 17th, 2020. 1830 hours. Attempt #1: Prologue.

Roman has not left his corner of the mindscape for 16 days, 6 hours, and 28 minutes. Virgil has just given an update on Patton’s condition, which is thus: Patton’s “room” has slightly lessened in its intensity of upsetting emotions. The picture frames’ rate of showing unfavourable memories has decreased. Patton has not cried yet today. The Dark Sides, Remus and Janus, seem to be keeping on the “down-low”. Thomas has not had any intrusive dreams in many days. Virgil has been too preoccupied in keeping tabs on Patton to give him anxiety over much. Thomas’ motivation has gone down. His restlessness has gone up. Roman’s unconscious contributions to Thomas’ everyday life have gone down significantly. Thomas has stopped daydreaming. He has stopped thinking about the future, what he has to do tomorrow. He is becoming forgetful and apathetic. As the logical side, there is only so much I can do to keep Thomas in working order without help from the others, that much I can admit. I have put off trying to help Roman in case things only become worse, but the stakes are too high at this point. Action must be taken. I will record the results of this 1st attempt later.

Logan steeled himself, books tucked under his arm. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Around nine at night, he wrote down the results. Roman had been unresponsive to polite requests for entry, knocking, attempts to start a conversation, small-talk, even a referencing desire to build a snowman. He had not responded to propositions of reading from plays or poetry, or any of his favourite literature. In summary, it was almost like speaking to a “brick-wall” (almost, because the door to Roman’s room was made of mahogany).

“Really? Things must be bad,” was Virgil’s response as Logan recounted the events to him later that evening. It was late, almost time for Logan to get some shut-eye after organizing Thomas’ duties for tomorrow. Logan had entered the kitchen hoping that Thomas would get a good night’s sleep so he could have the highest level of productivity the next day, but judging by the Monster Energy drink resting in Virgil’s hands he supposed that was not the case.

“It is certainly concerning. I tried… if not everything, at least a substantial amount of options.”

“Yeah, and if Roman doesn’t answer to a Disney reference… I’m worried about him. Do you want... me to try?” he said, fidgeting. Logan realized he looked uncomfortable with the idea. Virgil must felt a little guilty for not showing up at all during the argument.

“No, I believe that more attempts should be made. To wear him down, in a way. I’m planning to try again tomorrow.”

“Same Bat Time, same Bat Place?”

“An interesting way of putting it, but that’s the idea.” Logan rubbed his eyes and began making a list of all his tasks once he returned to his room.

“Alright. I’m gonna go see Thomas.” Virgil said, getting ready to sink out.

“I assumed you were. And Virgil?”

He popped back up. “Yeah?”

“Please at least try to motivate him a bit, if through fear? I don’t want to deal with a gloomy, unproductive Thomas tomorrow.”

“You got it. I won’t screw him up too much. ‘Night, Lo.”

“Good-night, Virgil.” He was alone.

“Roman?” Logan knocked once more. “Roman, would you be open to company? I wish to speak with you.”

Nothing. He sighed, pushing his journal farther into his pants pocket. He decided to come with substantially less things this time around. To come as he is.

“I’m not entertaining visitors or guests at the present. Please come back another time, thank you,” came a weak and muffled response.

The sound of Roman’s voice gave Logan an ache in his heart which he didn’t want to name. He ignored it, for the moment.

“I just want to speak with you. You’ve been decidedly quiet these past few weeks. Your input, both in-person and in Thomas’ subconscious has dropped a considerable amount. As far as I am aware you have not made your presence known to me or any of the other sides in over two weeks.”

Silence was his response. Facts were getting Logan nowhere. Logan sighed, struggling with himself. Did he tell Roman what he thought in simple terms, what he was trying to say through his data? How could he bare himself to Roman’s listening ears, let himself be known?

“In all honesty, Roman, I’m- I’m…” He took a breath. “I’m worried about you.” He said this in a rush, letting it all out in one breath. Like a Band-aid, as Virgil had stated. The silence that still followed both frightened him and spurred him on.

“Roman, I- I haven’t spoken to you in weeks. I’m afraid of what will happen if you stay isolated for much longer. You’re a necessary part of Thomas’ life, for me to have things to maintain and keep in order. But more than that, more than duties of mine, I mis- I’m… finding your absence upsetting.”

Logan faintly realised his hands had begun to shake, and he clenched them.

“You… mean a lot to m- the Mindscape, to Patton, to Virgil… to everyone. No one means you harm. We need your input on discussions, and revel in your ideas and thoughts. We... miss you.”

Just gotta rip it off.

“I- I miss you, Roman.” Logan shut his eyes, forcing out the idea that he had become emotional enough to begin producing tears. Logic does not cry. “We bicker sometimes and both of us are wrong on occasion, but I would rather have arguments with you than nothing without.”

“Seeing your vibrance and excitement in brainstorming, your happiness in Disney movies and romances, watching your brilliance when creating plays and stories and… being you, I- I find myself… swept up- metaphorically, of course- in every emotion you give off when you’re around me. Seeing you productive and happy gives me more of a reason to work to the best of my ability.”

“It’s… it would be difficult for me to ever say these things in the hearing of the other sides, but… I miss the feelings you bring me when you are around. It is something greater than a job well done, Crofters, or puzzles and murder mysteries being solved.”

“The emotions I feel when you are around are something more than a simple pleasure in watching, in the aesthetical enjoyment of seeing things fall into place. When I’m with you, I feel… spurred into action.”

“Roman, I- I can’t… I can’t bear your absence any longer. I’m worried about you, but more than that, I’m worried that should you keep to yourself, I’ll never… I- I won’t…” Logan swept aside a few tears that had run down his face. His throat ached so much that he feared he wouldn’t be able to get any more words out. The words he spoke next came out in a hoarse whisper.

“Without you I’m afraid I’ll never feel anything again.”

A shuddered gasp tore itself from Logan’s throat as he took his first proper breath in a few minutes. Tears slicked their way down his face freely now. This was, Logan supposed, because such a long drought of emotion had rendered him virtually unable to control any that did overcome him.

“However,” Logan began once more after a few more minutes of silence, his voice quieter now. If anyone else had heard it, they might have said he sounded ashamed. “Should you wish to remain alone for… whatever period of time, I won’t stop you. Asking you to open your door for my sake is extremely selfish of me. I’m… I’m sorry, Roman.”

Logan took one more breath before turning around to leave. He had no idea what the effects of his speech would be, and that scared him. He was in an entirely new territory. This was an unprecedented event, with no similar experiences to compare it to. He had ‘boldly gone where no man had gone before’, so to say.

Logan was so wrapped in his own panic, for that is what it was, he almost missed the imperceptible click of Roman’s door opening as he walked away. Every muscle in Logan’s body tensed, and he prepared for angry words and scathing insults. Logan would face it, however. He turned around, and was met with a sight for some very sore eyes.

Roman held open his door an infinitesimal amount, peering through the crack. Through the small open space Logan could see the prince out of his usual outfit, the beautiful swath of his hair, and one very tearful eye. Logan opened his mouth without knowing what would come out, but the air was knocked out of him.

Roman flung the door open wide and his socked feet ate up the steps between them as he flung his arms around Logan, the force of his embrace almost tipping Logan over. An embarrassing ‘oof’ escaped him at the impact and his hands went up to grip the back of Roman’s jumper after only a second of hesitation.

Logan’s mind filled incredibly fast with all sorts of information: the scent of Roman’s hair, the warmth of his body, how Roman buried his head in Logan’s neck and the slight wetness that came from tears. The way Roman’s nose jutted into his neck, the almost imperceptible touch of Roman’s lips on his shirt collar. Logan’s body betrayed him in an audible catch of his breath as Roman clung to him harder.

“Roman, I-” Logan began in a faint whisper, but Roman only shushed him and tightened his grip, rocking them from side to side ever so slightly.

They stayed like that for Galileo knows how long when the prince peeled himself from Logan. Roman looked upon Logan with eyes so bright from unshed tears Logan would have believed there were stars in them.

“You never said anything. Not a word.”

Their conversation was as hushed as could be, the Mindscape and the world beyond it ceasing to exist and zooming in on the two of them, in this moment.

“I’m not good with words. When it comes to talking about feelings, I mean. You know this.”

“Don’t lie, Specs. That was one of the most eloquent and beautiful things I’ve ever heard.”

Logan scrambled to find a breath within him as Roman smiled up at him. For one of the few times in his life, he found himself with nothing to say.

“It was moving, and heartfelt-” Roman continued, taking Logan’s hand and stepping back, towards his room. He paused in his motions and looked at Logan once more.

“-and it was incredibly romantic.” He said softly.

“I’m- I’m glad.” came Logan’s strangled reply. Roman smiled at him again and led him into his room. There they would sit and talk for hours, and Logan would hold Roman to his chest. They would confess to things bothering them and their hopes, dreams, and fears for the future. It would grow late, and Logan would give in and begin to card his hands through Roman’s hair as the prince drifted off to sleep.

There, in the black-blue of the sky of Roman’s window, scattered with stars and the slanting rays of the moon, Logan would look down upon the prince’s sleeping head and realize, though he had first doubted his abilities, he had been enough. Enough for Roman and for himself. He had been enough.

________________________________________________________________

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dukeofonions · 3 years

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So I thought I’d try something a little different (and slightly more fun than my usual saltiness) and do my own little personal ranking of Sanders Sides episodes!

Now I actually haven’t watched anything from the series for awhile so these rankings are going to be based purely on my own memories of each episode and how much I remember enjoying them. I’ll also be splitting the rankings up so I’ll do season one today and season two later on.

Eventually I want to go back and actually rewatch everything but I’ll probably wait until the season two finale comes out (whenever the heck that will be) but until then I think this will cover it.

Also important to note is that I will not be counting Asides in this since

1. I’m salty

2. It’s not supposed to be Sanders Sides anyway so why include it?

and 3. I’m very salty.

Alright, let the ranking begin!

Dang, can you believe season one has seventeen episodes? Starting with My True Identity on October 19th, 2016 and ending with Accepting Anxiety on July 15th, 2017.

These episodes were a lot shorter too. The longest one, Growing Up, is only about 15 minutes long (14:39 to be exact because I already have the playlist pulled up to get all these references so I might as well use the info I have) and the shortest episode was Way Too Adult that barely makes it to the four minute mark. (Okay it’s 4:18 but that’s still closer to four)

It’s really interesting to see how much the series changed just throughout season one alone, especially once it shifts from just being a silly series of one shots to a series with more fleshed out characters and beginning to scratch the surface of dealing with heavier topics.

How did it do for me personally? Well if you made it this far I assume you actually want to know my opinion so I’ll go ahead and tell you...

For real now, let the ranking begin!

*cue drum roll*

#17 I'm in a Disney Show

Yeah this one is pretty forgettable, and it really sticks out like a sore thumb among the other episodes in this series since it’s based on something that happened in real Thomas’s life and later on they try to establish that Sanders Sides isn’t about real Thomas. Not only that there wasn’t much in this episode that stuck out as funny to me. The only bit I actually remember laughing at was when the Sides were throwing around click bait titles.

So yeah, boring episode, feels out of place, moving on.

#16 Becoming a Cartoon

Like with the last one this one is just very forgettable to me. It also features someone who turned out to be a pretty shitty person so I can’t even watch it without feeling uncomfortable.

The only thing I remember laughing at was Patton holding a potato.

#15 My True Identity

Okay I know it’s harsh putting the first episode so low on the list, especially when most of my problems with it stem from it being made before there were any intentions to make it a series, but like the first two it’s also kinda boring. I mean on it’s own it does a good job of introducing people to the basic idea of the series and gives an idea of what the characters are like, but they all basically act like the same person (yes I’m aware of the irony) with just one or two minor things to set them apart.

Can’t really hate this one like the other two since, again, this was made with no intention of plot or character development, so it’s only this low because it doesn’t really stick out to me. But hey, it did its job at getting people interested in the characters so in that aspect it did its job perfectly.

#14 Taking On Anxiety

Oh the second hand embarrassment in this episode is too much to bear. Honestly any episode that has Thomas interacting with someone from real life just feels so weird to me and takes me out of the episode. However, I do actually have a bit more positive things to say about this one. The advice they give is actually helpful, and my gosh I love pre-AA Virgil.

The snark, the sass, it’s easy to see why he became a fan favorite so fast. And fortunately for me, there’s plenty of episodes for me to love him in before I start to hate him.

#13 Way Too Adult

This is gonna sound repetitive but again, forgettable. Doesn’t give me second hand embarrassment or make me feel negative in any way so that’s why it’s higher than the others. And hey, 13 is one of my favorite numbers so that’s gotta count for something right?

The best part of this episode is Patton, I really miss the earlier version of him where he actually took on more of a fatherly figure and had more of a serious side. Not that I don’t like him now and I still think he’s one of the better written in the series (more on that in another post) but it’s kinda nice to see him being portrayed in a way that doesn’t feel like he’s being dumbed down for laughs or is just sad and confused.

#12 The Mind vs The Heart

Or as I like to call it “Selfishness vs Selflessness in Five Minutes.” This episode is way too relatable which is both fun but also I don’t need the reminder that I can’t say “no” to people, but that’s a me problem not the episode’s. I like the format of using cutaways to show examples of how Logan and Patton clash in Thomas’s day to day life and honestly I wish they’d use it more since I think they only do it in this episode and in Growing Up but I could be wrong and I’m too lazy to check.

All in all this a cute little episode (and not cute for the reason you might think) and I enjoy it.

#11 Accepting Anxiety Part One

Honestly not much to say about this one? It’s funny watching Thomas’s antics while the Sides have to try and figure out what’s going on. Which is a nice change of pace from the usual “The Sides are being goofy and zany and Thomas has to try and get them on track” that I kinda notice throughout season one and that starts to change to become the norm in season two, but I’ll get to that later.

Reason this one isn’t as high as others is just because besides that one gimmick of Thomas saying and doing silly stuff is that there isn’t much beyond that, and of course that’s just because this is the first part of a two part episode so I’ll give it grace for that. Still a great set up though and is funny on its own.

#10 The Dark Side of Disney

Alright, we’ve made it to the top 10! Here’s where things start to get interesting.

Personally, I find this episode hilarious because I do this kind of stuff to “kid’s films” all the time. Never to actual kids but to adults, it’s fun to see just how dark I’ll go.

Of course this isn’t really what the episode does, it talks more about the messages in these movies as opposed to talking about how “dark” they are. Which, now that I look back I clicked on this episode thinking that it was going to be a part of the latter and had no idea it was a Sanders Sides episode. Maybe that’s how I found the series? I always forget which episode was my first...

Back to the episode, it also establishes Virgil and Roman’s little dynamic of being rivals and I love it. They have some of the best exchanges in the series and it’s fun watching them go head to head here, and even bonding a little as well. All in all, fun episode that provides some good character moments and some laughs.

#9 A New Year of Lying to Myself... In Song!

Just the song, man. It slaps.

But am I the only one miffed that Virgil technically got a villain song (about lying no less) and Janus didn’t? Not even an evil reprise? Yeah that’s some bull spit right there.

#8 Growing Up

Aw, the first name reveal episode on this list! This episode is a lot of fun, mostly because of the scenarios they come up with and the little cutaways they add in. Seriously. Just use these more instead of going to these great lengths to show us something that can be accomplished in six seconds of footage.

It also has one of my favorite moments with Logan quietly asking Patton what they’re doing wrong after Thomas tries to force himself into the “serious adult role.” I really got a soft spot for this episode and honestly talking about it makes me wanna watch it again, but I’ll hold off for now.

And I think Patton has one of the best name reveals. Like Thomas really thought his name was Pattoncake, and Patton’s reaction is priceless. I still want to know what “Pattoncake” actually is and how it’s played, but part of me also accepts that it’s probably better if we never know.

#7 Making Some Changes

Why are Thomas’s friends so good at acting as Thomas acting as his characters? Seriously half the time when I watch this episode my brain doesn’t acknowledge that the Sides are now being played by different people until halfway through.

This episode is one of the funniest in my opinion, and one I remember coming back to a lot. Do I still want an episode where the Sides pretend to be each other? Yes. Do I know it’ll probably never happen and if it did they’d find some way to just make it full of angst? Yes, yes I do.

#6 Alone on Valentine's Day

The first episode to be officially cowritten by Joan, and it’s great. It’s hilarious, and just seeing all the varying ways each Side tries to portray their idea of romance is the cherry on top. What more can I say about this episode other than I’m curious as to what Janus and Remus would have contributed to a conversation like this, maybe they’ll do another episode like this in the future with their inclusion, but who knows what the heck they’re doing at this point.

#5 Sanders Sides Q&A

Top 5 here we go!!! This is when ranking started to get difficult because I love all of these episodes so much. Especially this one. I think I’ve watched this one more than any of them and why not? It’s just pure goofball shenanigans and seriously, Thomas, why haven’t you done another one yet? Especially with Janus and Remus?! I mean I get if you’re waiting for “all the characters” but come on man! I need more of the energy this episode gives off.

#4 My Negative Thinking

This episode made me realize just how underrated Logan and Virgil’s relationship is. It’s also the second entry in the “Logan Fights Everyone” saga. I do love how this episode has actually helped me with my own negative thinking and I just freaking love Virgil’s sass in this.

Did I mention I also love Logan and Virgil’s friendship? Ah, good times when they all more or less liked each other.

#3 Losing My Motivation

The set up of this episode is just brilliant. Having it be a “mystery” for Logan to solve with Patton as his sidekick provided a lot of laughs and one of my favorite Logan moments with his little bit he does after realizing he was the “culprit” in all of this. Ugh, I really wanna watch some of these episodes now but I’m gonna hold out.

One thing is that I feel like Logan got the short end of the stick with his name reveal. Like Patton just casually calls him by his name like it’s no big deal, yet pretty much all of the other names are revealed after some kind of emotional moment and are treated as a big deal. If Patton was comfortable enough to just call Logan by his actual name and Logan himself was fine with it then why didn’t any of them introduce themselves before? There’s not really an explanation within the series itself as to why this is or why the Sides even have names in the first place, like it makes sense why Virgil or Janus would hide their names but Logan, Roman, and Patton have been there since day one so what gives?

My personal headcanon is that the three of them had a bet going on to see how long they could go without calling each other by their names in front of Thomas and Patton lost because he forgot.

#2 Am I Original?

Look, Roman is my favorite so of course he’s up here! Not only that but this episode resonates with me a lot as a creative person, and I just love watching the Sides trying all the ideas Roman comes up with.

And his name reveal is also great, probably my favorite one, and of course it’s followed by the now infamous, “You’re my hero” line. But I’m just gonna ignore what became of that and focus on the fact that Roman was actually happy at the end of this episode.

#1 Accepting Anxiety Part Two

What can I say other than this was the perfect way to end this season? Virgil has been the outsider of the group since day one, and seeing him go from this snarky antagonist to gradually being tired with the role until he decides that it would be better if he just wasn’t around at all. This episode has some funny moments too, but what sticks out to me are the more emotional ones.

Roman’s entire speech to Virgil is just *cheff’s kiss* perfection. Their relationship has finally come full circle and when Virgil smiles at him? Ah it’s so good!!! Like the music, the acting, all of it comes together so perfectly and it makes my heart happy.

Virgil’s name reveal is also great, after being teased about it over and over again we finally get the real thing and it’s executed perfectly. Although my favorite thing about this episode is probably the end card, it’s so sweet and makes me all sentimental. Why? I dunno, I’m supposed to be heartless but I somehow find my heart melting when Patton gives Virgil the card anyway. Ah, I love Virgil’s relationships with the others by the end of this season, and honestly I would have been satisfied if this had been the end of it.

Just a neat little way to wrap up this neat little series.

Of course we all know that wasn’t the case and oh boy things certainly took a turn, but that is for another post!

And that was the first part of my ranking! Like I said this list might change once I go back and watch the series again, but I’m pretty sure things won’t change much then.

I’m actually surprised at how many happy memories I have with the season, like I seriously want to just go back and watch my favorite episodes again because I’m all up in the nostalgia but again, I’ll hold off for now.

I hope y’all enjoyed this and I’d be curious to see other people’s rankings of season one. I’m glad I was able to have fun with this and just gush about the series for awhile because oh boy I know things are gonna be very different once I get to season two...

#dukeofrankings #new tag for this because why not #long post

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greenninjagal-blog · 4 years

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Fool Me Thrice

Hey guys! My three day spoiler free band is up so now you guys get to see what I did immediately after that new video (FwSA) came out!

Summary: The aftermath of FwSA but Virgil was actually Janus in disguise the whole time. (featuring: Janus breaking down to tears and Roman being really confused.)

Word Count: 4734

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Read on Ao3 || My General Writing Masterlist

“DON’T TELL ME TO RELAX!” Janus yells, but the incessant bubbling in his stomach causes the edges of his lips to quirk up anyway. It’s a ridiculous, intoxicating feeling, and it’s curling around his insides like a snake coiling around its prey. He wants to smile. He wants to jump. He wants to sing.

But Virgil doesn’t do any of those things unless under threat and pressure and Janus has to keep-- he’s still pretending-- Janus is impersonating Virgil.

He’s not doing a very good job of it, and he knows. Ever since that stranger at the food court, that stranger who might be gay, that stranger whose name is Nico Flores and happens to write songs-- Ever since Nico uttered those silly, little words, and Thomas’s Heart and Creativity had swamped the controls, the more….intellectual sides were finding it hard to….think.

Everything’s fuzzy and blurry and Janus keeps trying to hit back that buzzing between his ears that comes every time that Roman and Patton team up and get lost in their contagious excitement. Virgil, certainly, is probably docile by now, flooded with the warm feelings that make it hard to panic over anything for at least another hour because he’s too busy riding that high of the “honeymoon” phase of dating-- before he remembers that it's possible that Nico might be a Serial Killer who lures his victims into relationships before slicing their throats and hiding their bodies in the woods.

He doubts that Logan’s having fun either: he hadn’t even bothered to show up when they had first spotted Nico across the cafeteria, not even to throw out that suggestion of saying “I see from your stickers we have similar interests. Let us discuss the possibility of future copulation now.” Which, of course, spells all sorts of troubles that Janus is going to have to fix later.

Later which seems to be now, because Thomas is jittery from the excitement flowing off of Roman and Patton and he is going to text Joan all about it which requires none of Janus-Virgil’s help.

It’s a flawless escape. Janus smiles inwardly, at the gooey feeling of pride in his stomach. He did it! One whole video, completely undercover!

It figures that Virgil would be the key.

Of all of them...well, Janus has always known Virgil the best. Anxiety and Self Preservation have gone hand in hand since Thomas was in diapers still. Janus grew up watching the curve of Virgil’s tense shoulders, watching the flickering of his eyes watching the entry points of the room, watching Virgil’s smirk curl and his eyeshadow bloom and--

And Janus knows Virgil hates him right now, even underneath the gooey layer of good feelings Patton is pumping through all of the Thomasphere. Janus even thinks that if he pops in to check on the little ball of nerves, Virgil will come back to his senses and start a murderous rampage on his way to stop Janus from ever impersonating any of them ever again. Which is definitely what Thomas needs right now.

Whatever. He can celebrate his victory privately.

Thomas is happy. That’s all that matters right now. The rest can wait until the good emotions in Thomas calm down and Janus can think clearly again: he’ll get out his fermented grape juice and pour it in a glass so he can feel fancy and then he’ll figure out how to deal with Logan, listen to Patton’s emotional-gushing-that-ends-in-overwhelmed-tears, entertain the Duke’s R rated fantasies with a polite smile, congratulate the Prince for his victory, and then after all that he’ll send Virgil a card via messenger dove to thank him for his...bravery.

And then he’ll go to sleep for two hours, and hopefully when he wakes back up Thomas will not be on fire.

That’s… that’s a reasonable hope, right? He’s not asking too much of the other idiot sides, right?

The buzz between his eyes sharpens for a second, as Thomas shakes his hands some more, with a grin that Janus would absolutely die for. It's almost regrettable because if anyone took a moment to look at him, to look at the way he looks at Thomas, they would see immediately what his weakness is: Janus is Self Preservation, Self Importance, Self, self, self.

He’s weak for Thomas’s smile. The gut force that drives Virgil to do things is protection, so he tries to make Thomas recognize everything as a threat; for Roman its creation, so he tries to push Thomas to achieve all of his dreams. For Janus it's Thomas’s id wants, so he does whatever it takes to keep him happy.

A smile on Thomas’s face means that Janus is doing good, that he’s doing right by Thomas. Who cares if in the end he’s the villain of the story? Who cares about him when there’s Thomas?

Thomas thanks him again-- actually he thanks Virgil, but Janus' face flushes anyway. The feeling in his stomach washes over him, leaving his knees weak and his lips smiling. Is this what being giddy is? He suddenly understands, suddenly, why Patton subscribes to that whole “Thomas is morally and objectively the best” philosophy; It’s a nice feeling, even if it makes it hard for Janus to concentrate on keeping Virgil’s eyeshadow the right color.

Thomas rushes by him-- almost close enough to touch again and wow Janus’ hands were still tingling from that; He forgot that Virgil was always able to touch their host-- and runs up the stairs to go scream in a pillow and text Joan the brilliant news and Janus takes that as his cue.

Time to wrap it up and go. (to sleep. Oh god, he can hear his bed calling for him already.)

But when he turns back to the last side in the room, Roman is pressing his knuckles to his lips and staring at the blinds in Thomas’s living room like he can set them on fire with his mind.

“Princey?” Janus asks, his own smile slipping. “What’s up?”

Roman snaps over to look at him-- to look at Virgil, whom he trusts and likes and appreciates and who is definitely not Janus at all. Despite that, the way that Roman is looking at him with furrowed eyebrows that would sing of a scowl if Patton had been doing his job just slightly not as well as he is currently, forces Janus to check to make sure he’s still wearing Virgil’s appearance.

“I can’t figure it out,” Roman says, looking like he just caught his best friends in the middle of decorating for his surprise birthday party. “Why?”

Janus squeezes his eyes closed trying to focus on what Roman was talking about. He knows that he missed at least one thing that was said in the hullabaloo all day, but he didn’t think it was something that Roman of all sides would be upset about. Why, what? Roman got the guy. What was so complicated about that?

Actually asking why is more on brand for Virgil.

For a ridiculous second Janus wonders if that was Virgil wearing Roman’s outfit and pretending to be him the way that Janus was pretending to be Virgil. But Janus is decently sure that Virgil can’t resist insulting Janus for more than five seconds at a time, and they’ve been side by side for hours now.

(And hadn’t that been nice? If Janus had just closed his eyes, he could have imagined the grateful smile Roman had given Virgil had been meant for him.)

“I don’t know what you’re on about, Ro,” Janus shrugs. “But I’m gonna go. All these good emotions are like...disgusting.” He sticks out his tongue that way that he’s seen Virgil do every time that Thomas has to eat the carrots his mom put on his plate just to sell the act, but Roman’s jaw sets.

“Why did you do that?” Roman bursts out before Janus can get all the way out, “Why? Janus!”

Janus should have run then, should have pretended that Virgil hadn’t heard him at all and let the other sides argue with each other, but his name is so new and shiny and no one ever uses it. The words vibrate through the air like needles and the next thing he knows is that he’s pinned in place, frozen, and Roman is looking very not-happy anymore.

Ha, so he knew. Looks like Janus can’t get through a video without being outed.

“I know it's you, you slimy snake,” Roman says. “Will you stop wearing Virgil’s face already! I want an answer!”

Janus’s tongue flicks in his mouth, rolling over the back of his teeth as he tries to think of the best way to handle this when all of his thoughts have to process through the molasses that is the gooey happiness Thomas is feeling and his own exhaustion.

“I have no idea what you mean,” Janus says, as blase as he can make it.

Which is….maybe not his best idea. The buzzing in his head makes the rest of the room go blurry for a second, in and out of focus and it’s so very helpful.

Roman’s face goes red, stuck somewhere between being angry and being insulted. He reaches out and Janus’ legs do that thing where they don’t work so when he throws his weight back, away, out of reach, his body goes plummeting to the foot of the stairs as well.

Roman yelps, leaning forward for a moment maybe with the intent to help him back up but Janus throws up a hand to stop him before he knows for sure. His eyelids are heavy, he realizes, and he’s tired and he really doesn’t want to have a fight with Roman right now.

“I had fun, Roman. Thank you for the... entertainment this evening.” He says, dropping the last of his stellar Virgil impression. He wonders how long he had Roman fooled, if he had him fooled at all for any point. Does he dare wonder how many of those smiles were given knowing that it was Deceit in disguise?

(He doesn’t and he resents the implication that he cares what the others think of him.)

“Congrats on wooing the boy or whatever.” Janus climbs back up to his feet and brushes imaginary dust off his tunic. Or it could be real. He’s not sure considering that he’s so tired he can’t see anything in front of him.

“You fiend!” Roman snarls, “What did you do to our Stormcloud?”

“Why don’t you go find out?”Janus suggests, with a half-assed flourish, even by his own standards, “Or better yet, don’t. In the meantime, I’ll be in my room.”

But Roman snags his arm and holds him up and Janus is acutely aware that sinking out with another side is troublesome and takes so, so much focus and energy. (And Romans touch is scalding. It’s burning. It’s white hot and Janus wasn’t aware he had been freezing before.)

“I’m tired of this game, Snakes and Ladders!” Roman says. “Tired of not knowing what you’re up to! Tired of not knowing what Thomas wants! Tired of getting backseat to self care and morality and-- and I’m Tired, Janus! Why do you keep doing this to me?!”

And hooooooo, does that strike something in Janus! The soft feelings in his chest burn right up in an anger he hadn’t even known he had been feeling. But it must have been there for a while because it boils right through him, leaving his chest smoldering and his mouth tasting like ashes.

“You think you’re tired?” He snaps, burns, blazes. There’s something in this throat, and it makes every word catch fire when it comes out of his mouth. And even Roman has enough sense to know that fire is dangerous and that he’s going to be cremated if he doesn’t step back.

“You think you’re tired,” Janus repeats, taking a step forward so that they’re nearly toe-to-toe and he can see the way that Roman’s Adam's apple bobs. “What about me, Roman? Don’t you think I’m tired? That I’m exhausted? That I know I’m going to have to sink back down and figure out what is wrong with Logan and listen to Patton and keep Remus busy and make sure that none of you morons overpower the others and drive Thomas directly into the ground? That I haven’t slept a full night since the whole start of these videos and moral dilemmas and whatever else? Every time I turn around Thomas is making another lie: to his friends, to his family, to himself! Don’t you think that I… that I…”

Roman is staring at him.

Janus’s head pounds. The room around him sways and he thinks that maybe...maybe the reason he can’t think straight right now doesn’t actually have anything to do with Patton’s elation keeping Thomas busy.

“Oh,” Janus says because he blinked and now he’s on the floor.

He blinks again and Roman is right next to him, looking concerned-- how ridiculous. Roman being concerned for him. Ha.

“Janus…” Roman’s voice is low, which makes Janus aware suddenly that everything else had been so loud all this time. He grits his teeth when Roman waves a hand and magics up… what are those, tissues? Why would he--

Oh.

Janus is crying. He reaches a hand up tentatively rubbing away the tears, and has to swallow a laugh. Oh, he's crying. When was the last time he cried? When was the last time he cried in front of someone else?

He's so, so tired. And that's the reason-- the only reason, mind you-- that when Roman scooches closer, a centimeter, an inch, a foot, and then rests his hand on Janus' shoulder, Janus doesn't push him off and immediately sink out to his room. It takes too much energy to lock a room, even his, from the others and Roman would surely follow after him and demand answers.

Roman’s touch is a shaky, changing warmth. Janus noticed it earlier when Roman had said the word “Bravery” and Janus hadn’t been able to form an actual response because he was so busy wondering if this was how all touch was supposed to feel. But now he thinks he can count every single atom that is touching him and the awareness hums in his veins in a way that shouldn’t be possible.

He sucks in an equally shaky breath and tries not to look like he’s leaning into the feeling. His stomach rolls around, twisting and churning to the point where it hurts. He might be able to blame this on a stomach bug. The other sides probably wouldn’t look farther than that. They don’t like him enough to look farther than that.

“Janus,” Roman says again, calling him by name and Janus wants to tell him to stop. He sounds like he cares and Janus knows it’s a lie. He thinks it’s a lie. He’s pretty sure it’s a lie.

It’s hard to tell right now, especially when his own inner desire is yearning for it not to be. He can’t trust himself when he’s like this. He always ends up doing something stupid.

Like sitting at the foot of Thomas’s stairs crying in front of Roman.

“Fuck,” Janus says, and laughs, like this was part of his grand master plan that definitely exists. He ignores the tissues Roman places at their knees and uses the back of his palms to get rid of those pesky, unprofessional tears. “My most humble apologies, my dear prince. Too much fun today I suppose--”

“Janus,” Roman cuts him off, and Janus wishes his sharp inhale was a little less noticeable. “Are you… Did….”

Janus can feel how Roman’s thumb is rubbing his shoulder, slow circles like a loading screen while he tries to weave together a sentence that makes coherent sense.

“Why?” Roman decides. “Why are you...why did you help Thomas meet Nico? Why did you force him to do it naturally without any lies? I thought you liked when Thomas tells lies!”

Janus snorts, which is a bad decision because his nose is runny and, god, now there’s snot all over his face, which just makes the lump in the back of his throat grow larger. He snatches up the stupid tissues and tears open the pack.

“I don’t--” Janus wipes away the snot, and tosses the tissue into oblivion. “I don’t want Thomas to lie all the time. Do you think I’m crazy, Roman? I have to manage every lie Thomas tells himself! It’s… It’s… imagine if you had to make a new video script every single day.”

Janus can see Roman’s confused look. It's adorable really, like a puppy that just got told to “Stay.” He recognizes that Janus is saying something, that Janus is talking to him, but the full meaning of the words is lost on him.

“If it's so taxing, why do you do it, then?” He asks, like it's some sort of choice and not his job.

“Why do you make video scripts? Why do you help Thomas practice his lines? Why do you take him on daydreams when he’s bored?”

“Because he asks me to,” Roman answers without a single hesitation. “Wait….”

Janus leans forward pressing his chin to his knees. His eyes close for a moment, two, three while Roman struggles to understand what Janus isn’t blatantly saying.

“Imagine if Thomas asked you to make a new video script every single day. Do you think you could say no to that?”

Roman makes a wounded noise from deep in the bottom of his soul. It resonates in the air between them, like an elephant neither of them wants to admit is there. Janus breathes in deeply, and wards off the fresh round of lovely wonderful tears that come from his lovely wonderful headache.

“I’m sorry about the court case, Roman,” Janus says. The words feel dangerous, like throwing knives and Roman flinches back, leaving the spot on Janus’s shoulder painfully freezing. “I wanted-- I wanted Thomas to do what he loved. I wanted him to stop lying about wanting to go to the callback and I thought that if I just made it so that only you could make the decision it would be easier! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Janus breathes in, but somehow it seems that all the oxygen in the room had dissipated without their knowledge. He gasps a few times, trying to get a steady rhythm back but the white noise in his head and the itch behind his eyes keep throwing him off.

There’s laughter-- it takes him a moment to realize it's his own. Which is just great, just fantastic, just what he needed. He finally got the sordid apology out and now he’s laughing.

But Roman is looking at him not with a scowl, but with some other emotion Janus can’t quite name through his blurry vision. For a second he thinks it might be fear-- which is even more funny than the idea that Virgil had been pretending to be Roman this whole time. In the safety of Thomas’s apartment, when Thomas had just gotten the boy of his dreams, when Janus was on the ground out of secret agendas to hide, what is there for Roman to fear?

“I just--” Janus gasps one more time, ignoring the sharp pain in his chest. “Thomas deserves a win. You deserve a win. That's why I wanted to help with Nico.” He feels like his head is going to pop right off. Maybe if he asks nicely Roman will get out his sword and do it free of charge and relatively painlessly.

“So I...ha, so I spent all day playing dress up,” Janus hates the wobble in his voice. “And now I’m a day behind on managing all my work and now Patton’s going to want to talk about what happened today, and someone needs to listen to Remus and Logan is obviously not doing too well so I have to check on him-- and Virgil too even though Virgil will probably throw something at me but I have to….And then Thomas is going to need me and I have…. I have to…”

“You really… you really do all that?” Roman says in a small voice that doesn’t suit him at all. “All by yourself?”

“Well, it’s not like there’s anyone else to help, Roman.” Janus says before he can stop himself.

“I’ll help you!”

Janus freezes. Because, well.

He’s heard those words before, hasn’t he? Not all that too long ago. When the divide between dark and light was more defined and Thomas hadn’t started posting videos with them in it and Janus wasn’t afraid of the purple door in the middle of the hall.

He knows how this conversation goes all too well.

But Janus apparently can’t learn any new tricks because he still says, “No, I can do this myself.”

(“You’ll kill yourself from stress, Jan!” Virgil had yelled. “Then where will we be?”

“I have everything under control, Virgil! I don’t need any help! Just drop it, okay?”

“Thomas and the Light sides are running you ragged and you want me to pretend like it isn’t hurting you? Are you crazy? They need to stop lying so much!”

“No! I can handle this!”

“Janus!”

“Virgil!”

“I can’t let you keep doing this,” Virgil had said, “If you won’t do something I will.”

“Don’t you dare!”

But he had. And now he was a light side, an accepted side, everyone’s favorite side. And he was slowly convincing Thomas to stop lying by turning Janus into something to be feared and avoided. How quaint. How trademark.)

Roman is staring at him. Janus can feel the weight of his eyes on him, and somehow that's worse than his hand on Janus’ shoulder. It’s heavier. It’s harder to just shrug off. It means something more.

Because Roman isn’t talking. And Janus isn’t hiding.

And if the words weren’t so hard to say, he thinks that maybe Virgil was right, and he should apologize.

“Huh,” Roman says after the silence threatens to swallow them both. He clears his throat and mercifully looks away, staring at that painting over Thomas’s couch. “I didn’t think you were stupid.”

Janus hisses at him, at the idea of him. But Roman flicks his fingers.

“Oh come on, Ouroboros,” Roman says. “You handle all of Thomas’s lies, and then you’re out there looking after each of us sides as well? I think after 31 videos we can all agree that one side being entire in control of Thomas is a bad thing! So why are you still trying to do everything?”

Janus has a very good answer. The best answer.

But Roman’s elbow reaches out and nudges him and all his thoughts scatter into the air. Maybe that was intentional, but Janus can’t find the energy in himself to really be angry about it.

“I…” Janus says, “I just want Thomas to be happy.”

“So do the rest of us too, Snakecrates!-- Get it? Like Socrates?-- Not gonna lie, your way to make him happy is truly… the foulest of methods, but at the end of the day we’re all a part of him.” Roman says. “Maybe instead of trying to puppet master this you could...try working with us? Like showing up as yourself instead of using Virgil’s or Logan’s face again?”

Janus snorts again. The backs of his eyelids shoot bright red stars across his vision. “As if. None of you would listen if I did things that way.”

Roman nudges him again. “It's just a suggestion, Slitherous Snape.”

“How many of those do you have?”

“Nicknames?” Roman pauses, and Janus guesses that he’s counting on his hand. “Dunno. A lot. I never get to use them because you show up in someone else’s clothes and I don’t realize it’s you. All the more reason you should listen to me and just show up as your usual self!”

Janus must have made a noise, but his brain is too preoccupied with the fact that the carpet in Thomas’s apartment is actually really comfy and if he buries his head in his knees the room is actually dark. His headache is a dull repetitive thob, like a drum beat that if he doesn’t focus too much on becomes a noise he can fall asleep to.

“I thought you hated me.” He admits, in a quiet tone and only partially hopes that it was too low for Roman to hear.

“Fool me once,” Roman says in a soft tone, humming like it's a melody. “Shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice…”

He sighs deeply.

“And I think that means we need to actually think about talking out things like adults.” Roman nudges him again, and then places his arm around Janus’s shoulders. “But not right now, when you’re half dead from exhaustion. Let’s get you to your room, Jan.”

There’s a cold feeling around both of them, washing over Janus’s muscles like a flood, as they sink down. His eyes open briefly just in time to make out his own room surroundings before Roman drops him on his bed.

Oh, it’s really comfortable. Has his body always sunk into his mattress like this?

“Get some sleep, Deceit,” Roman says.

“Wait... Logan…” Janus definitely does not whine.

“I’ll handle the nerd.”

There are so many reasons why that’s a bad idea-- Janus knows there are a bunch of reasons because he wrote them down on flashcards to study in between grieving Virgil leaving the dark sides and managing the lies Thomas tells day to day and the ones he had going on forever and the ones that sides told each other and--.

But before he can say any of that, Roman sifts a gentle hand through his hair and Janus loses the ability to think again.

(Janus really doesn’t remember when Roman gained that power.)

He curls up almost unintentionally on his bed, and Roman makes a noise that could have been a laugh, if Janus cared enough to check.

“Sweet dreams,” Roman says softly.

“W…wait!” Janus gathers the last bit of his energy, the residue from the gooey feelings Thomas was harboring, and surges after Roman before he can leave all the way. “How did you... know it was me? And not…”

“Virgil?” Roman offered. “You kept messing with the eyeshadow, Janus. He has that angsty charcoal color on twenty-four-seven. You kept changing it to purple. I mean I liked it, but that’s not his style.”

Janus frowns. “No….he has the purple when he’s happy. I know he has the purple… He only started wearing the black...when he was trying to freak out Thomas.” He sighs and settles back into his pillow. “It glows...when he’s happy…”

Janus has plenty of memories about that, too. They were some of his favorites: Virgil on Christmas morning when the prospect of presents was more scary than the idea of all Thomas’s relatives coming over, Virgil on late nights watching cryptid history shows with Remus and talking about marrying Mothman when Thomas got older, Virgil right after he first appeared to Thomas, glowing in all senses of the word because their host knew who he was.

Janus remembers being a little upset when Virgil covered it up, because it was another lie then: Virgil was hiding part of who he was and the three of them had always agreed on no lies between them.

Besides Virgil had always looked younger with the purple, looked more happy, looked more approachable. He looked like he was excited to see Janus and not like he would rip out his throat if they ended up in a room alone together.

Virgil was purple long before he had been black, and Janus thinks he might have been in love with him even before that too.

Who had he been talking to, again?

Janus gets the distinct feeling something is wrong, but his pillows are comfy, and his mattress is soft and he’s been running on fumes for far too long. He’s fast asleep before he realizes that Roman is still in his room, frowning, and wondering if that meant Virgil had never actually been happy around the Light Sides at all.

#sanders sides #Au #Janus Sanders #Roman Sanders #virgil sanders #crying #sleep deprivation #Oh god Janus is so tired guys #touch starvation #TS Spoilers #fwsa spoilers #Roman has no clue what he's doing here #anxceit #angst/comfort #then angst again #I'm only kinda sorry about it #Hey have you guys heard my new hc #for why Virgil and Janus can't stand each other #Janus is a workaholic

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stillebesat · 4 years

Text

A Hero’s Rescue (part 2)

Sanders Sides: Roman, Virgil Blurb: After being defeated in battle, the last thing Roman expects is to have a soaking wet hero show up at his doorstep. Fic Type: Hurt/Comfort Superhero!AU Inspiration: This Post by @messythoughtsandscribbledplots Overall Fic Warnings: Blood, Injuries, Drugging (mentioned), Negative Self Talk, Threats of Violence, Death Talk Taglist in reblog.

Part 1

Roman had made his mother’s special soup over a thousand times. To the point where he could do it on pure muscle memory--a feat he discovered after a particularly unrememberable encounter with one of Brainiac’s mind ray beams that he didn’t want to experience ever again.

Still. Being able to feed himself with his mother’s soup even when his mind was completely blank of conscious thought was a good survival instinct to know he had...despite the circumstances.

And yet.

His master chefs had needed to take over the making of the soup halfway through after Roman had nearly sliced open his finger for the second time while dicing the onions because he wasn’t focused on the task at hand.

Now though, with the main preparation done, he’d sent them back to their slumber, leaving him alone to stir the soup on the stove while keeping an eye on the pot of hot chocolate simmering nearby. At least he hadn’t managed to burn either one...yet.

He supposed he could be granted a pass for being distracted though.

It wasn’t everyday he, a supervillain, had one of his nemesis’ over for a...well Roman had said kidnapping, but honestly, it was hardly that considering he’d left the kid alone to clean himself up without locking the door or even tying him up.

Roman exhaled, forcing his tense shoulders to relax as he reached up with one hand to check that his mask was still on.

Not that he’d let it or the crown he still wore to vanish. But he had to make sure.

Because he had a hero in his house.

He had a HERO in his House.

If any of the others ever discovered this--but no. He frowned. Someone had treated the young Thunderclap bad enough that he’d want to--that he’d come to Roman, no, to the Tyrant. To be--be---.

He let out another shaky breath, tilting his head to listen for the sounds of running water. For any indication that Whirlwind was still in the house.

For all he knew the young Rainspout had vanished as soon he was sure Roman had left the room.

Or...he could be sneaking around the place right now. Looking for the Tyrant’s Lair. It could all have been a trick. A trap--NO. Roman growled under his breath.

There had been no mistaking the despondency and then the disbelief in Sparky’s eyes at how he, as Tyrant, was willing to take him in and treat him like a decent person--which Roman honestly needed to figure out how that was gonna go down for the next couple of days having a guest--instead of well...killing him.

As Tyrant he was a lot of things…but an outright murderer? Hardly. Sure he could easily name a dozen other vile villains who wouldn’t have hesitated. To kill. To injure. To treat a hero, even a new one, like a punching bag. A dozen people Roman would need to check on to ensure they hadn’t mistreated Thunderclap in such a manner. Honestly, it really was a stroke of luck that the young hero had chosen to come to him first instead of--

Roman stiffened, hands going still on the pot as the hairs on the back of his neck rose.

Static Electricity.

Did Sparky realize he gave off that much energy? Probably not.

The soft coo of his dove confirmed that his new...guest? Yah. Guest was probably the best way to think about this. Had finally arrived.

“Fifteen minutes late, Whirlwind.” Roman said, fighting the urge to again check his mask to make sure it hadn’t slipped. “And here I thought heroes were supposed to be on ti--” He turned to the young hero standing awkwardly in the doorway with the dove on his shoulder, and promptly forgot to breathe as he caught sight of Sparky’s face.

His maskless face.

Roman jerked his eyes back to the soup, heart hammering in his chest as he gestured with a hand to conjure a simple silk mask, making it the same shade of purple as the pjs he’d created earlier that Sparky now wore.

He coughed awkwardly, desperately trying to forget all the little details, all the bruises, he’d seen just from the two second glance at the, oh Crofters, he’d known the hero was young, but not a freaking teenager! What was he fourteen?!

He’d better have not been fighting a child this entire time. No, Sparky had to be at least eighteen. Please let him be an adult and not a minor. Because if he wasn’t...Roman would have to rethink his fighting strategies against his favorite hero.

He clenched his jaw. And if...if the kid was actually freaking fourteen years old...then the perpetrator who’d hurt him like this would soon come to regret their actions because there was no way the Tyrant would let them get away with it.

Still looking away, he held out the mask to where he’d seen the hero standing, sending it with a flick of his fingers to hover near him in a crimson bubble. “You uh--forgot something, Thunderclap.”

Perhaps he should have taken Sparky to a hospital first if he was so addled in the head to forget something so simple as keeping his secret identity intact in front of his enemy.

There was a soft sigh and a faint tingle as static electricity brushed against Roman’s crimson glow, like a finger poking into the side of a balloon, before the mask was pulled free from his hold. “I didn’t forget.” Came the quiet response as the hero edged closer, pausing by the oak dinner table, using it as a feeble barrier between them. “Figured you wouldn’t let me keep it on long anyways if I’m your…prisoner.”

Prisoner? Roman scoffed, moving to pull cups and bowls out of the cupboard, setting them down on the counter. “Even if I intended you to be a prisoner, Whirlwind, which I don’t by the way even if you are technically kidnapped, because otherwise you’d be in a containment bubble where I wouldn’t be risking getting myself shocked senseless by one of your little lightning bolts. I still have standards. I wouldn’t unmask you like that.”

“....You wouldn’t?”

Roman glanced at him from the corner of his eye, noting the mask was definitely still in the kid’s hands as he dished up the soup. “Of course not!” It was hardly fair play. Especially for a new hero.

As the Tyrant, Roman may have enjoyed his battles with the Waterspout over the past six months, but they definitely weren’t ‘there’ yet when it came to him feeling any sort of victory from finally tearing away the hero’s mask to see the face of his enemy.

The moment he could corner that annoying army zapping Nerdy Wolverine though? Oh, that would be a sweet sweet victory he would savor for at least a year when he finally defeated Brainiac and rightfully discovered his true identity.

Roman turned, two bowls of soup held in his hands as he carefully kept his eyes directed at the kid’s bare feet, noting that even there the hero had cuts and bruises. He fought back the flare of anger, adding a couple more potential acquaintances he’d need to pay a visit to on his ever growing mental list. “If I wanted to find out who you were, Whirlwind, I would have taken your mask off outside when you were kneeling at my feet in the rain.”

He took two cautious steps closer to the young Hurricane, watching the feet as they shifted in place. He needed to tread carefully here. Go slow. His hero had been hurt and Roman needed to prove that Sparky was safe with him here.

He took a breath, holding out both bowls to give the kid the option of choosing one, conscious of how the hero had been concerned that they could be drugged. Right. Drugged. Mentally he crossed off six names and added one more. “Beyond the fact that I would very much prefer it to happen after a long hard fought battle where I soundly defeat you, at least that reveal outside would be far more dramatic and rewarding than doing so in my kitchen of all places.”

Wind whistled in his ears as Waterspout huffed a bitter sounding laugh as he tossed the mask onto the table. “Sorry to disappoint you then. But I’m done.” The lights flickered, the static electricity around them increasing. “Done with this...hero business. I can’t, Tyrant. It’s too much pressure. I’ll just fail.”

Roman shook his head, frowning as he set the bowls on the table, gesturing with his hand to float the two mugs of hot chocolate by the stove over to them. “You haven’t failed me.” He said lightly, setting them down.

Scare him? Yes. It wasn’t every day that a hero comes to your home out of the blue asking you to kill them.

Thunderclap snorted, resting his hands on the back of the chair closest to him, his fingers turning white. “Umm. Earlier today?”

“I know you can’t make every battle, Sparky. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t show.” Roman said with a shrug as he pulled out a chair at the table and sat, pushing the purple mask closer to the kid while fighting to not adjust his own or look at the hero’s face.

Sure he’d been disappointed. He always was when Thunderclap didn’t come to face him. Their battles were far more exciting, far more challenging compared to the other heroes he’d faced over the years. “You may not want to be a hero right now. But you’re injured. Exhausted. And hopefully hungry because I made you a ton of soup.” He twisted his hand, a soft red glow surrounding his fingers as two golden spoons appeared. He was careful to keep his eyes down away from the kid’s face as he twirled the spoons around his fingers. “After you eat your fill and get a good night's sleep in a big soft bed you might find you’ve changed your mind come morning.”

He could feel the static electricity continuing to build in the room until it felt like every hair on his body was standing on end. It made it difficult to not retaliate and send up a shield of defense against the lightning bolt that could be coming his way any second.

But the kid had no reason to zap him. At least he hoped he didn’t. He just had to stay calm. Stay relaxed.

Unexpectedly, the static energy vanished like an iceberg breaking apart leaving goosebumps racing up and down Roman’s arms as Sparky relaxed his grip on the chair. “You’re...not...acting how I expected you to.”

He smirked. Good. The Tyrant couldn’t be just your predictable regular run of the mill bad guy. “Oh?”

The chair scraped against the tile as Sparky cautiously sat down, his hand resting on the mask. “You...you care far too much about...” He shakily inhaled, the lights flickering above his head as he raised a hand, presumably to scrub at his eyes judging by the movement. “Me. No one ca--but you--and--and you don’t even know who--”

No one cares? If he wasn’t certain he’d be electrocuted on the spot Roman would have pulled the young hero into another hug then and there. It sure sounded like he desperately needed one.

“Kindness doesn’t need to be shown a face, Sparky.” Roman said softly, laying the spoons on the table with a quiet clink. “Just because I’m a bad guy...doesn’t mean I’m a bad guy.”

The kid huffed another shaky laugh. “Did...did you seriously just quote Wreck-it Ralph at me?”

Roman jerked his head up in surprise. “You know--”

The hero flinched back, causing the dove on his shoulder to take flight as his violet eyes half hidden by damp bangs flashed with panic while lightning crackled at his fingertips.

Wait! Face! Gah! Roman twisted in his seat, hissing under his breath, his body tensing with the expectation of getting electrocuted. Great. Of course his love of Disney would come back to bite him at a delicate moment.

This really would be much easier if the kid would just put on the mask already, so he wouldn’t have to worry--- but Roman wasn’t going to force him to do something he obviously was reluctant to do. Sparky was a guest…even if he was technically kidnapped.

“I didn’t see anything, Whirlwind” He said as evenly as he could as the dove landed on the counter nearby with a soft coo, his mind racing as he turned his head further to stare at the pot on the stove. “But...judging from your reaction...perhaps you don’t actually want me to know who you are?”

“I--I--” There was a thunk on the table as the crackling sound coming from the boy faded. “I don’t want to...be a hero right now, Tyrant.” He whispered. “I--I can’t--not now.”

But the kid couldn’t exactly use his civilian identity in front of the Tyrant either since they were enemies. A pretty pickle. Except Thunderclap seemed to be forgetting one thing. He didn’t have to be either identity.

Roman glanced towards the young hero to see his face buried in his arms, purple mask half hidden underneath them. “Last I checked, Hurricane.” He said quietly. “There’s no rule saying that because you wear purple and white as a hero...that you can only ever wear those colors.”

It would be a dead giveaway to the villains--for the smart ones at least--if the heroes did that.

Roman gestured, his hands again glowing crimson as he created a dozen more masks similar to the purple one the table, making each one a different color of the rainbow plus some boring shades like black and brown to give Raindrops a variety to choose from.

He turned away from the display as Sparky looked up. “If you don’t want to be a hero then pick a different color mask. You can be anyone you want to be under it. I can even conjure you a different set of pajamas so you can distance yourself further from your hero color scheme while you’re here. Just…” Don’t give up just yet. He shrugged. “Pick one.”

Waterspout reached out, hesitantly touching a blue mask, before shifting to hover over a green one. “...It can’t be that easy.” He whispered. “What’s the catch?”

Roman made a face. “No catch. Pick a mask and then tell me a name to go with it.” He said, watching him from the corner of his eye as the boy lowered his head, his bangs hiding his eyes. “Any name.” He coaxed. “And I’ll call you that instead while you’re here. You won’t have to be a hero. You can just...be my guest.”

“A guest. To the Tyrant.” Thunderclap said, putting an emphasis on the name.

That--the kid had a point. Roman exhaled. How could Sparky forget he was a Hero if his enemy, the Tyrant, was still around? Which meant...he would need to create his own alter identity as well.

For the seemingly simple task of taking in a young hero and giving him soup...this whole thing was becoming more and more...complicated.

“No. Not to him. To me. Your host.” He stated, raising a crimson hand to his golden mask, altering it so that it became the same size and shape as the ones on the table, his crown vanishing as Roman made minor alterations to his appearance to keep Whirlwind from guessing his own civilian identity.

He dropped his hand from the simple red mask he now wore, heart hammering in his chest at how...well naked he felt in the thing as he turned more fully to the kid, once more back in the clothes he’d been wearing while working on recreating his Knightmare Soldiers, careful to keep his attention on the masks on the table and not the hero’s bare face. No wonder Sparky was reluctant to wear this sort of thing. It hardly felt like a disguise at all.

“You can call me Pryce.” He said, spreading his hands, fighting not to fidget under the weight of Sparky’s eyes boring into him, taking in his changed appearance.

“Pryce?”

Roman nodded, watching Thunderclap’s hands twitching over his color options. “Yes.”

It was one name he knew he would answer to that couldn’t immediately be connected back to his own civilian life.

“You’re serious about this? No heroes...no villains...just…us?”

“So long as you’re here as my guest. Yes.” If Raindrops needed a break, then Roman would give him it. Anything to keep the kid from doing--from---from repeating--.

A soft sigh. “Okay.” Thunder rumbled in the distance as Sparky plucked up a plain black mask, placing it over his eyes.

Roman blinked. Wait. Black? “Sooo...what? You going all goth on me now, kid?” He asked, slowly turning more fully towards the hero--to his guest as the boy looked up, already visibly relaxing now that Roman could look at him without seeing his identity.

The corner of his lips twitching in a half smile as Sparky ran a hand through his darker hair, ensuring the bangs still half covered his eyes. “You have a problem with me wearing black?”

Roman rolled his eyes. He was a villain who wore gold for a reason. Of course he didn’t like black. “Beyond it being such a common, dull, and boring color?” He waved a hand dismissively, vanishing the other masks. “No. Not really.”

Thunderclap huffed, shaking his head. “Then...you can call me Andy.” He said, reaching for the closest bowl of soup, violet eyes flickering to him to check Roman’s reaction.

Andy.

Roman tilted his head. Not a name he would have picked for the hero. But he supposed that was kinda the point. “Andy.” He repeated. “Nice.” Not as nice or creative as Pryce, but he’d save his critiques for the boy’s lack of originality another day. “Is it short for the Mountain range?”

Spar--Andy choked on a laugh, shaking his head as he picked up a spoon. “No--not after--No.”

“Pity.” Roman said, a more natural smile appearing on his lips as he grabbed his own bowl of soup, purposely getting the spoon to his lips before his guest to prove that the soup was safe. “After the Mints then? I would be more understanding of your emolicious choice in black if that were the case.”

Andy flashed him a smile, eyes sparking. “Only if Pryce is short for Price Tag. How much you going for these days? Two bucks?” He asked, taking a cautious sip from his bowl, only to immediately go for another spoonful.

Roman nearly choked on his own soup. Price Tag? TWO BUCKS?! How dare he insult the Tyr-- Gah! Right. Not actively being the bad guy right now. But STILL. The audacity!

No wonder he loved bantering with this kid.

“You’ll come to find, Hot Topic, that I’m priceless. You can’t afford me.”

Andy hummed, nodding like a wise old sage as he picked up the bowl in both hands, tilting it to his lips. “So your name is Less now?”

Roman clicked his tongue, watching the kid gulp down his soup like there was no tomorrow. Okay...he’d walked into that one. “No.” He said, summoning the pot over from the stove, so that the kid could get more if he so desired.

“Pity.” Andy set the bowl down, glancing to the pot then to him. “Guess I can’t think of you any Less then.” He licked his lips, meeting Roman’s eyes before he could respond. “Not after--well...thanks--for letting me...crash here for a bit...Pryce.”

Roman blinked, caught off guard at the sudden change in direction. A pity. He’d had a great retort to that earlier remark too.

He took up the ladle, filling the kid’s bowl once more. “No problem, Peppermint.” He said as he also pushed the mug of hot chocolate closer to the hero, summoning a bag of marshmallows with a twitch of his fingers. He chuckled as the kid’s eyes once again lit up. “Stay as long as you need.”

#A Hero's Rescue #stillebesat #Sanders Sides #Roman #Virgil #Creativity #Anxiety #Superhero!AU #Villain!Roman #Hero!Virgil #injuries tw #drugging mention tw #negative self talk tw #threats of violence tw #death talk tw

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hydra-collector · 3 years

Text

Wrath

Ship: Platonic LAMP???? I wouldn’t really know what to call it, platonic (or romantic) Intrulogical

Characters: Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Roman Sanders, Remus Sanders

TW: self-harm, suicidal thoughts, crying, blood and fairly visual description of injury

Words: 1542

Summary: “Shut up.”

The last word was uttered in a growl, Logan’s hands tugging at his new long sleeves in frustration. Patton didn’t hear him, Virgil gave a small glance before looking back over to Roman, and Roman was too invested in his debate with Patton to notice.

“I said, shut up.”

(In which Logan has an angry breakdown.)

“Shut up.”

“I said, shut up. ”

He said it louder this time, gaining the attention of the other three.

“Isn’t that kinda rude, Lo-”

“I don’t fucking care,” Logan cut Patton off. The moral side looked taken aback at his use of cursing, but didn’t say anything. Good.

“I think you’ve been plenty rude already, haven’t you, Morality?”

He refused to address Patton by his name, the cuff of his button down he was gripping cutting off the blood flow in his wrists. He straightened up, looking around at his friends.

“Do you know stupid you all sound?”

“Wow, teach-”

“Nope. None of you are allowed to say anything. I have been trying to help you for the past hour, but yet you all still refuse to listen. This problem would have been solved ages ago if you had just let me talk. You hate that, though. You hate me.”

Roman and Patton looked as if they were trying to hold back from saying something back. Logan let go of his cuff, shifting his hand so his nails could dig against his wrist. Little pricks of blood made their way out of his skin, but he didn’t dare stop.

“You all have made it very clear that you want nothing to do with me. You ignore me, interrupt me, ridicule my perfectly valid advice, villainize me for simple mistakes that I immediately fix, ignore my obvious mental health issues while you make a big deal out of each other’s slight concerns, and you,” he shot a look at Patton, “don’t respect my boundaries.”

“We-”

Patton cut himself off this time, anxiously tugging at the sleeve of his hoodie hanging down over his chest. He hadn’t deserved that gift, Logan decided.

“Maybe you’re all right. Maybe I’m not important. Virgil may be a key component of Thomas, but are you really going to pretend that Anxiety is more important than Logic?!?”

He looked around, letting the thought sink into their minds. The guilt was showing on their faces, he could tell that they felt bad, once Logan finally had the balls to call them out on it.

“Or maybe I’m just not important to you. I’m annoying, stupid, intrusive, boring, the list and insults go on, and I’m not good enough for any of you. I have tried harder. I have done everything I can to make you all listen, to make you all care, to show that I know full well how much feelings affect me in the best way that someone like me can. But you don’t want that. You don’t want anybody harder to deal with than Anxiety, you don’t want someone as useless and incompetent at I am because you refuse to make an effort to understand me, how I work, how I feel things, because I’m the problem!”

His voice was getting louder, bloody half circles drying as he shoved his finger into his chest, pointing to himself. He could feel salty tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, not making an effort to ignore them anymore.

“And look where that got us!!! Thomas is miserable because Anxiety has him staying up to ungodly hours of the night, Morality has him giving up his free time when his friends are mildly inconvenienced, and Creativity has him destroying his mental health over his self worth! I could help if you all would fucking let me!!! Virgil’s scared for Thomas’s mental health, for Roman’s mental health, for Patton’s mental health because somehow Patton destroying Thomas’s life hurts him, while I’m left here to figure this out on my own, while knowing the people who I care about hate me!!!”

It was a scream at this point, the words beginning to scratch at his throat as tears really began to fall.

“And maybe I’m not good enough!! Maybe I’m not logical enough!! Because what kind of Logic does something like this!?!?”

Logan yanked up his sleeve, tearing bandages off of numerous cut marks, sweat hitting them as their dried blood glittered underneath the light. Patton made a move to approach him, but Logan let out a sound between a hiss and a scream which scared him away well enough.

“Maybe I am defective!! I’m not GOOD enough for you, I’m not good enough for THOMAS!!! I’m USELESS, I’m-”

He cut himself off by biting down hard on his right arm, teeth breaking the skin until blood leaked out. He yanked up his other sleeve, using his nails to dig past the skin on his left arm, leaving four long, thin streaks of blood.

“Logan, stop. ”

Virgil moved forward, worry and fear showing behind his eyes. Logan just missed hitting him, using a swatting motion to get him away.

“Logan, please, we can help-”

“DIDN’T I TELL YOU TO SHUT UP?!?!” Logan’s death glare darted to Roman.

He inhaled sharply, face softening to worry as he saw the looks of fear on his friend’s faces. He took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry. I have no desire to hurt any of you. You are still my friends, so the only person I will be hurting is myself.

“I’m just… so tired. So fucking tired of being ignored, and maybe you all are right. Maybe I deserve this. The blood, the pain, the absolute misery. Maybe I need to shut up, maybe I need to never say a single irritating, useless fact ever again. Maybe I need to hurt myself. Maybe I need to let Thomas make the decision to get rid of me. Maybe I deserve all of this! Maybe you guys should hate me, despise me, never give a single shit about what I say! Maybe I should fucking die, let you use me as an outlet for your anger, each of you using your own method of torture! Maybe I shouldn’t hate any of you, just hate myself for being such a useless piece of shit!!!”

He was sobbing now. Hard, painful sobs wracking his body as what he believed the ultimate feeling of misery must be. He pulled his glasses shakily off his face with his right hand, using both hands to keep them steady.

“Well… if I’m not gonna be Logic anymore, guess I won’t need these. ”

He snapped them in half, ice lacing his voice. He dropped them to the floor, reveling in the crack that came as he shattered them with his foot.

“Lo…” Patton’s voice was quiet and scared, terrified for his friend.

“I wanna die,” Logan muttered, voice wobbly and throat hurting. He took his tie in his hand tentatively before getting a firmer grip on it.

“I wanna DIE!” he screamed, ripping the tie from his neck. The back of his neck hurt from the force, his hands hurt from the grip, his arms hurt from the cuts and biting and scratching, his chest hurt from the crying, his head hurt from the crying, his legs hurt from more cuts, his throat hurt from screaming, his mind hurt so much from his stupid, stupid emotions.

He was hurting. All the time.

“Wait, wait, Logan, no, don’t leave-”

He sunk out before Virgil could finish his sentence, setting off through the corridors quickly. Surely there would be something in the Imagination, maybe a tall building, a deep lake, a ravenous monster-

He was stopped in his tracks in the Dark Side’s living room by a strong arm, the world too blurry for him to make out obstacles in his path without his glasses. The arms- which he recognized as Remus’s due to the soft amount of fat on them- tightened around his middle as he struggled to get free, mostly just succeeding in sinking into the Dark Side’s warmth.

“Re- let- Re-”

He wasn’t able to voice much more than that due to the state of his throat. He gave up, letting himself go limp in Remus’s arms as he continued sobbing, the pain in his throat reignited with every one. He barely registered being picked up and carried through the halls, processing nothing but Remus, knowing nothing but hold on, hold on.

He was dropped onto something soft, sobs receding into whimpers. His eyes were shut, it wasn’t like there was really any point in opening them without his glasses. He felt a pang in his heart at the memory of his ripped tie falling to the floor, the blurry figure of his shattered glasses already on the ground. A new round of painful sobs wracked his body at the thought.

Warm hands surrounded his body in a thick blanket, Remus wrapping it around both of them. Logan had nearly forgotten what physical contact was like, the warmth and the burning bleeding comfort into him. Remus’s arms squished around his soft belly, holding him close and tight.

He was still angry. At himself, at the others, even at Remus. But he couldn’t bring himself to give an ounce of care as he sunk into the much needed hug.

Taglist: @bluerosesbleedred @mxxangel

#logan sanders #logan angst #intrulogical #platonic intrulogical #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #ts logan #ts patton #ts virgil #ts roman #ts remus #ts fic #sanders sides fic #grays fics

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