#think homers meme in this speech

[confinedinthisflesh]

11x04 rewatch reactions by remmie

👀 spoilers ahead 👀

warning i am in pain, more irritable, and not completely mentally here so take these reactions and any posts after this with a grain of salt

- freddie is so cute!!

- love that the preview is the first scene

- btw what lady?? who moved in to the house after tony??

- "i spy, you shoot" 😦 wow

- god i know i'm more irritated rn but i really just don't care about carl again

- ohmygod franny no! djsjfkd is that a normal experience for young children? cutting their hair by themselves? i mean i gave myself bangs by essentially shaving the front of my part. it seems normal.

- oh god gallagher relations

- oh my god stop with carl please

- oh wow ian felt that

- fjsjdjd LOVE THAT IAN IS WATCHING BATMAN DJSJDJDDJDJ

- WJAJDJAJFIS WHY IS IT SO ZOOMED IN- HE LOOKS LIKE THAT FISHEYE FILTER MEME SJSJDDJSK I CAN'T LAUGH

- frank you used to sleep in your vomit and piss- while i hate terry with a burning pit of firey hell- you are also unhygienic and shitty as fuck

- okay wow they really are trying to make terry and frank do the homer ned fighting

- AWW UNCLE MICKEY MOMENT

- ooooooo sandy made a point!!!

- mickey your family is awful see through it please (therapy would help 😉)

- what is this shit? no? TAM TAM????

- the antiacid tablets in the back

- mickey you're going to give your husband a stroke ohmygod

- wow once again amy vs gemma stuff again 😔😔😔 when will gemma have rights

- oh wow they really put the flag in there, shameless people who work on the show why did you choose to do th at especially with trying to make this "battle" just a neighborly haha battle thing (i don't make sense when in pain)

- okay the pain meds have kicked in, debbie did you just kick out your girlfriend?? i mean she was never invited to move in but??? you never kicked her out before???

- HEY IAN AND MICKEY PUT ON YOUR MASKS????!!!!?????

- okay at least mickey can see it- oh wow ian looked too proud of himself

- AJAJSJSIDDJ SJSJDJEJSSJD DNDSKKDDKDJDJSDJSJSJDJSFJSJ THE SJSJDJSJDKSF SMIRK AND THE "MICK!"

- oh wow carl's past is haunting him 😐

- EWWWWW NO GROSS STOP IT BAD VIBES BAD VIBES

- wow okay please go back to the lip and tami scene, this is fucked

- bro if the gallaghers all move out into a new house i might cry harder at the end of the season

- kev made a good point i hate that i laughed

- debbie you did not put your ginger kid in a blonde wig 😐

- wait you went to his house?? excuse me??

- a h okay teacher who groomed tami, fun, so much fun haha 😐😐

- hey british shit is good leave it be

- oh my wow milkoviches are just that name

- oh wow debbie's "don't do this to me", hey debbie your kid doesn't owe you shit

- SHSJJDJS ohmygod, badass walk though

- ohmygod kev

- ABAJAJDJAJFJAKD IAN HOLDING BACK MICKEY- i lauGHED and almost dislodged my gauze

- ... tami... tami... ohmygod tami... 😦 you were groomed and taken advantage of...

- can y'all keep a consistent mask policy please- ohmygod debbie that's not what she means by privilege

- the amount of new milkoviches they have now my god

- frank. 😐

- oh wow someone really wrote this script

- that's a lot of weed

- oh my god lip can you please like report him?? to someone??

- okay y'all both went too far with calling each other out please stop please just listen to what your kids actually want

- the fact ian let mickey answer that

- also w o w a grand?!?

- PLEASE REPORT HIM! PLEASE!

- okay good speech but i could tell they were just gonna announce the winner

- wow okay didn't need to picture that

- OH HELL NO

- wow okay tami i love you you just did your own therapy

- THANK YOU LIP- now go report him!

- see why can't carl be robin hood esque

- ew ew ew ew

good episode i think, can't wait to see how and where exactly the security thing goes

#shameless #shameless s11 #shameless spoilers #spoilers

[alexkablob]

9, 12, 18, and 30 for the ask meme, please :D

Do you prefer to write AUs, canon divergence, or canon-compliant fic?

Depends on the fandom, really. For RWBY I usually do canon-compliant, for Star Wars I usually do canon divergence. AUs are a lot of fun when I do them though, because in order to write an AU and make it work you have to fully understand the characters.

Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

Oh that’s hard. I’d really like to experiment more with horror, though that’s more genre than trope. There’s a one-shot I’ve been thinking of writing soon...

What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

Robyn vs Ashe in history class in Away to Me. Specifically, this bit:

Robyn’s hand shot up, and thank the gods it had, because if Ashe kept talking then Fiona’s eyes were liable to roll out of her skull. “Oh, no, I know I sound cynical, but I actually do think the CCT is a beautiful symbol. Less as a sign of Atlesian generosity and more of much-needed humility.”

Ashe’s smile got even sweeter. Ignoring the hand-raising rule, she asked, “How do you mean?”

“Interconnectedness,” Robyn responded. “Interdependency. Atlas made itself vulnerable with the CCT net. That took courage. No one kingdom holds absolute power; if one suffers, the others suffer. If we’re discussing symbolism, that’s a very complicated and impressive statement to make to the world. All I’m saying is that because of that, the CCT is also an incredibly potent form of soft power, isn’t it? It was constructed with Atlesian resources, and it continues to be operated and maintained by Atlesian mechanics. Repairs are conducted by us and, as a result, those repairs are a very powerful bargaining chip in other negotiations. Even idealistically—in saying ‘we understand now that we depend on each other,’ Atlas was also saying ‘you depend on us’ and avoiding further sanctions or reprisals for their crimes during the Great War.”

Ashe maintained her pleasant expression, but sitting next to her Fiona could see her tail curled tight around a chair leg. “Atlas didn’t actually exist during the Great War, did it?”

“Yes Ashe,” Robyn said with only the barest hint of condescension. “At the time it was known as the Kingdom of Mantle. But I don’t see how that bit of semantics actually changes—”

Look, Robyn Hill is a very good character for expressing the author’s pent-up leftist anger. Even in this fic where she’s a teenager and more unrefined compared to the hardened charismatic leader we see in the series itself, she’s incredibly eloquent and full of a righteous fury at injustice that’s just infectious.

Other than, just, the general experience of an American history class, this little speech was about the concept of philanthropy and how, at the end of the day, it’s inherently self-serving—more about cultivating soft power and the image of noblesse oblige than it is about actually helping people.

Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future.

Eat my entire fucking ass, Shannon, you know what I’m going to talk about.

Alright, so, some of you know about this because I’ve teased bits of it to some of you before, but I have this idea for a story that’s been bouncing around my head for years now. It’s a longform canon-divergence RWBY fic called the Odyssey AU which, as the name implies, is based on Homer’s Odyssey. It focuses on Pyrrha (exchanging her role as one Homeric protagonist for another), along with Emerald and Mercury.

It’s about healing, it’s about yearning, it’s about trauma, it’s about super awkward reunions, it’s about getting in trouble because Mercury ate the sacred cows. I’ve got all of the character allusions mapped out—this is a goddamn RWBY fic and it’s being plotted like a goddamn RWBY fic, Pyrrha is Odysseus and Emerald is Athena and Mercury is, uh, himself—and the whole story just stems from that core.

It would be a lot of fun to write but it would also be a lot of work and that’s very intimidating, but if people are interested I might finally do it.

#kablob writing #any followers who already know plot details of the odyssey au please do not comment them on this post #kaen-ace-of-ravenclaw

[awellboiledicicle]

@kitchenwitchupinthisbitch replied to your post “Dad called me in to switch lights for him and he insisted on talking...”

Ok but have you seen that episode of the Simpson's where Homer and Ned become friends for a bit? In the beginning, Mr Burns is at a baseball game making a speech to the ball players and he tries to rally then w a speech about a poor kid in the hospital who wants him to win. It cuts to Milhouse and insinuates Burns put him in the hospital. That's what the Trump thing made me think of.

i don’t simpsons outside of memes, but that seems deeply on brand for what i know about Burns. 

its also deeply on brand for my father so it works out. A+ reference.

Also bc its 2am and dyslexia happened, my brain read the start of it as “ok but have you seen cinnamon?” and i was deeply confused

#kitchenwitchupinthisbitch #Responses

[viridescent-lament]

: use irritants to lessen irritated mood

- how

: focus on small irritant (itchy wound) to avoid thinking and fixating on vague, big irritants. do not itch this irritant but focus on it

#think homers meme in this speech #thats not a sentance that makes sense #think of the homer meme voice in head and change dialogue to this text #basically #is that cleaerer? is it needed to be made clear to start with? #brain has headache probably from poor mood+dehydration so its hard to think #im having to form my thoughts (vague; mush; like slime) into words #which can only be done by speaking and being suprised by the phrasing that comes out #or typing and watching my hands form the words on its own #i think my brain is using words but i cant see through the headache fog to asee them #but hands can #this happens when im sleepy too #i wonder why

[8147]

reading hamlet for the first time (act 2 scene 2)

masterlist

people at my school are saying that the world is supposed to end, like, today, which only confirms my suspicion that this scene is gonna be the beginning of the end

on that uplifting note, let’s begin!

“KING CLAUDIUS: Hamlet’s transformation; so call it,” oh damn. i don’t like that word. ‘transformation.’ i don’t like it one bit

“KING CLAUDIUS: so by your companies To draw him on to pleasures, and to gather, So much as from occasion you may glean, Whether aught, to us unknown, afflicts him thus, That, open’d, lies within our remedy.” what is it with powerful men in denmark avoiding communication with the young adults under their care

“QUEEN GERTRUDE: And sure I am two men there are not living, To whom he more adheres.” u rite, there’s only one man and his name is horatio

rosencrantz: just order us you cowards guildenstern: shut the fuck up

king claud: thank you, oh wonderful guilderstern and…  rosencrantz mcidiot

“QUEEN GERTRUDE: Go, some of you, And bring these gentlemen where Hamlet is.” yeah, where IS hamlet and is he okay

“LORD POLONIUS: Give first admittance to the ambassadors; My news shall be the fruit to that great feast.” fuck you lord pony, you cheap bitch

(thanks, no fear shakespeare for informing me that polack means poland)

“VOLTIMAND:That it might please you to give quiet pass Through your dominions for this enterprise, On such regards of safety and allowance As therein are set down.” that is such a shady fucking request. so shady. “oh yeah lol my rebellious nephew lied to me abt invading poland so he could invade u instead, but then he gave me his WORD he wouldnt so i was so happy i let him actually invade poland but he still needs to go through ur country is that okay lol”

“KING CLAUDIUS: yes nothing could go wrong. excellent. i’ll allow it”

“LORD POLONIUS: brevity is the soul of wit” two things: one, isn’t that the quote AO3 gives you when you leave an empty comment box? two, isn’t wit slang for dick? brevity is the sould of  D I C K

“LORD POLONIUS: I will be brief: your noble son is mad.” yes he’s mad and he’s angry and WHERE IS HE

hey it’s impossible to overstate how fucking sad that letter makes me. it’s going in the currently hypothetical shrine.

“QUEEN GERTRUDE: the poor wretch…” (keysmash)

“LORD POLONIUS: Do you know me, my lord? HAMLET: Excellent well; you are a fishmonger.” (louder keysmash)

you know what im not gonna make those into actual keysmashes. everyone who reads this gets to ‘enjoy’ the notebook experience along with me.

“HAMLET: MAGGOTS ON DEAD DOGS! oh and also here’s a vaguely prophetic warning tone about your daughter having a baby.”

“LORD POLONIUS: What do you read, my lord? HAMLET: words you fucking idiot”

HAMLET SAID THE WORD ‘HAMS’ I REPEAT HE SAI–

“LORD POLONIUS: Will you walk out of the air, my lord? HAMLET: Into my grave. hamlet h hamlet. hamlet hamlet hamlet, no. hamlet, no.

“HAMLET: You cannot, sir, take from me any thing that I will more willingly part withal: except my life, except my life, except my life.” why did he repeat that thrice. words, words, words; except my life, except my life, except my life.

“GUILDENSTERN: My honoured lord! ROSENCRANTZ: My most dear lord!” suckups

HAMLET: Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her favours? GUILDENSTERN: 'Faith, her privates we. HAMLET: In the secret parts of fortune? why are we talking about fortune’s private parts

the fucking ‘prison of the world’ talk is,,,, it’s definitley got that mystical feeling about it. like he’s only got one foot stood in reality.

“HAMLET: ...were it not that I have bad dreams.” the ‘bad dreams’ part. god. how long has he been like this?

he’s talking like what he’s experienced isn’t possible to be described without metaphor, like english just doesn’t have the words for it.

oh god. hamlet. hamlet hamlet hamlet hamlet. oh god. my guy. hhhhhhhhhh

also. hamlet is confirmed bi. lovely.

js i feel like shakespeare’s @ing someone with this talk of child actors or w/e, i can feel the salt through the script

“HAMLET: I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.” ONLY when the wind is southerly? i just hope he’s not going birdfeeding any time soon

“HAMLET: ...that great baby you see there is not yet out of his swaddling-clouts.” HE CALLED LORD PONY A BABY IN DIAPERS <incomprehensible scribbling>

Hamlet is being such a pain in the ass i love it

“LORD POLONIUS: The actors are come hither, my lord. HAMLET: Buz, buz!” lord pony is such a fucking buzz-buzz kill

“HAMLET: O Jephthah, judge of Israel, what a treasure hadst thou!” “NFS: Jephthahunwittingly sacrifices his daughter by making a vow too hastily.” this is pinpoint fucking accuracy

ooooh there’s a PLAY-CEPTION going on!!!

hamlet just reciting this speech from memory reminds me of my latin teacher going on a bit of a rant about how humans kinda forgot how to memorize long texts and how most educated men in rome could just start reciting parts of the aenid or w/e just out of the blue and how nobody memorizes literature anymore (cue me reciting the first part of ts eliot’s the hollow men, causing one of my friends to drag the trashcan near my desk and tell me to get in) and then she ended it by laughing at how old she sounded and mimicking a crochety old guy and saying ‘kids these days just dont recite homer like they used to’ and it became a class meme

“LORD POLONIUS: This is too long. HAMLET: It shall to the barber's, with your beard.” god hamlet just. does not give a shit anymore.

MONOLOGUE!

i’ve been wondering what he’s been thinking

NO mr teacher i will NOT put my phone away im done with my worksheet and im understanding this fucking monologue with only minimal NFS!!

okay so after reading that, a few things...

damn the whole what’s hecuba to him and he to hecuba is pretty powerful of a line, honestly, and its sorta getting to me

god poor hamlet honestly, just. poor hamlet.

also, like, i know that this is even just a preliminary plan but, really hamlet? put on a play and see how king claud reacts? okay. okay.

GOOD JOB HAMLET DONT TRUST KING BOO HE’S TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU

god that isnt gonna last tho is it

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hamlet why do u have to do this to me

god. okay. 3rd act up next. im very scared.

masterlist

#shush antares #antares reads hamlet #shakespeare #hamlet #sorry this took so long to get out!! #next one should be on monday i have some stuff to get done over the weekend

[britishchick09]

danger force double livewatch!

today we’re doing a special livewatch... a double feature! i’ve been looking everywhere for ‘test friends’ and ‘lil dynomite’, which were taken down by dailymotion for a while. now that i’ve finally found them, it’s time to see what i’ve been missing!

first up is ‘test friends’!

oh no why is ray angry

WHY CAN’T BOSE FEEL HIS ARMS

is this an intricate training thing?

bose: ‘orphan sock!!!’ OMG NOOO!!

OMG the socks exploded!!!!!

wowza what awesome laundry! :D

hey this is the clip i watched on the henry danger force youtube!!! :D

YAS!!! :D

chapa: “harmony check!” all: “in tuuuune!!!!!” :D

what cute poses! :D

oh no they have 7 POSES???

miles thought captain man would ‘just be there’ lol :D

think is the forbidden ‘t’ word *LOUD GASP!*

captain man: “ts” the kids: ??? captain man: “the same” the kids are me when my friends say internet slang

miles said ‘chicken tendies’ ^_^

schwoz: “great group of kids!” captain man: “too bad i can’t trust them...” schwoz: *le GASP*

oh no captain man’s gonna prove that the kids are untrustworthy DID YOU SEE RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON

speaking of that awesome movie captain man’s acting a lot like raya...

captain man’s spying on them! :o

even swellview academy has surprise tests!

ray’s putting the answers on his podium... ;)

he’s talking like a fancy guy and chapa’s like ‘why are you talking like a book” lol :D

NO MIKA!!!!

mika: “no!!!” ray: “yesssss.....” ray WHY YOU SO SNEAKY

bose: “this answer key is tearing us apart!” you’re tearing me apart, answer key!

aaand he literally tears it apart! nice bose! :D

schwoz wants ray to let go but all ray does is want to make the tests harder... WHY ART THOU A MAN OF SILLY PROPORTIONS RAY MANCHESTER???

wait did silly man just say ‘man ladder’

the intro is at 7:30! how long that is! :o

i love how ray tells them to shut up lol :D

a cute bird house! :D

ray said ‘talketh’ coolio :D

oh no... TRUST FALL!!!!!!

bose saved him with levitation and the other kids grabbed pillows! how sweet :)

mika: “obvi” how ts of you mika!

ray wants to test them... WHEN THEY”RE ALONE >:)

bose is being prank called by ray aka ‘bose of the future’ AND OF COURSE HE’S GONNA FALL FOR IT HE’S BOSE!!!!

oh bose just said ‘wrong number’! how very mature of him!

YAAAAS RAYAAAAA!!!!!!!!! :D

ray’s prank for miles was luring him to ice cream while mika gets a speech review? ok...

CHAPA HAS TO USE AOL BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T HAVE A PHONE OMG

no miles found the ice cream.... AND HE’S TEMPTED!!

ray: ‘in the future, ray turns evil!” monsty reference? :o

ray: “destroy ray... no matter how good looking he is!” lol :D

miles went for carrots! :o

aww bose ‘loves ray too much’ :)

ray: “e before i except in july! amen!” ha ha :D

MIKA SCREAMED INTO THE ESSAY LOL!!!

the swellview version of instagram is swellgram :D

schwoz says ‘way’ like ‘vay’ and i love it :D

awww!!!! :D

oh bose believed ray!

schwoz spilled the beans! :o

OH NO THE LAUNDRY LEVEL IS AT 1000!!!

the baby goat bleating is so cute! ^_^

the vid went to an ad just as schwoz said ‘manche-’ and i thought he was about to say ‘manchild’ lol :D

mika: “i passed!” miles: “we all passed!” goat: “MEHHHH!!!!!!!!!” :D

oh no are the kids gonna do something bad :o

OMG miles just called ray ‘rayman esther manchester’ OHHH!!!!!!! :o

ray wanted them to eat a scorpion WHY RAY

miles teleported to ray and instantly went back lol :D

goat: “buhh jerry!” OMG IT TALKED!!!

ice cream party! :D

schwoz: “it’s a real milestone” eyyy ;D

schwoz says it all the time lol :D

ray’s been gone FOR A WEEK????

they all think it’s a prank but what if it’s real?

IT’S BEEN ANOTHER WEEK WHY

bose: ‘he’s taken this fake desert test really far” i don’t think it’s fake bose...

OMG RAY NO

why does he look like al from quantum leap but crazy af

THE KIDS TURNED HIM OFF

and they got to do the supes illustrated shoot all on their own!

WAIT DID CHAPA SAY THEY WERE IN PHOENIX???? :o

ray BUSTED!!!!

oh no is chapa sending the prank pic she deleted

dan schneider who lol :D

last but not least is ‘lil dynomite’!

omg there’s smoke everywhere!

and a treasurechest monster? :o

awww mika’s locker is her only personal space :/

she wants ray to put the monster in miles locker lol :D

the monster wants to eat swans ew :/

bose said the ‘mangenda’

ooh they said the title of the ep!

awww lil dynomite is cute!

he says ‘hello sir!’ :D

he’s ‘4 feet 10 inches of-’ neverending joy and smiles?

a country duo is signing a song called ‘almond milk’

66 DOLLARS A TICKET WTF

‘life size board game night? gayle from bob’s burgers wants your number ray...

ray during game night: “did i ever tell you the last time i saw my father?” ...ok :/

country lady: “there’s some flashbacks at table 5″ lol :D

they’re called court and courtney! :D

chapa: “almond milk feeds my soul!” YAS!

mika: “who would miss almond milk?” lady: “it’s funny you’re missing almond milk right now!” OHHHHH

OMG THE OTHER LADY SAID ‘BEAUTIFUL WIFE’!!!! :D

lady: “we have another song for you. it’s called..” her and other lady: ‘SHUT YOUR MOUTH’!!” lol :D

ray: “anybody hungy?” lol :D

ray: “you love my manflaps!” THAT PANCAKE NAME SOUNDS DISGUSTING OUT OF CONTEXT

OMG LIL DYNOMITE IS THE 5TH MEMBER

AND THEY KEEP SAYING ‘MANFLAPS’!!!!

he looks like a smol henry... :o

chapa said ‘booty hurt’ lol :D

why is the chest monster still there?

OMG CAPTAIN MAN ASKED THAT MUST AS I TYPED IT! :o

lil d stole bose’s mangenda job! :o

CAPTAIN MAN CALLED BRAINSTORM ‘BRAINBENDER’ NOOO :o

lil d reminds me of speedy alka seltzer with his ‘gee whiz!’ attitude

NO LIL D HAS MIKA’S LOCKER!!!!

miles *screaming*: “YOU MONSTER!!!!!!” you tell him miles!

the news people are back!

captain man and lil d played a non-copyrighted cover of ‘blinding light’ lol :D

lil d is making hair gel WITH CONDORS NO >:(

bose: “oh where is my brain?” it’s in a storm EYYY :D

lil d emphasizes ‘captain MAN’ and it’s so weird

the chest monster is singing lol :D

OMG HOMER SIMPSON BROKE THE NUCLEAR REACTOR

mika: ‘how did you get hired here?” nuclear lady: “i slammed the interview!!!”

it’s MELTY NOOO!!!!!

lil d: “wish me luck mans and sirs!” gee whiz what a quote!

HOLY FRICK WAS HE MELTED????

geez that’s rough!!! :o

chapa: “poor little guy... he just wanted to help” aww they care about him :(

captain man: “that better be awol!” awol: “i’m sorry what” captain man: “NOOOOO!!!!!!” AND HE BROKE THE LAST CONDOR EGG EVER NOOOOO!!!!!

chest monster: “never would’ve happened if you brought the chest monster along!” chapa: “SHUT UP CHEST MONSTER!’ yeah!

RAY WAS GONNA ADOPT LIL D :o

chapa’s trying to hit ray but she keeps hitting lil d HE GONNA DIE

why did the chest monster say “get wrecked” :(

ooh schwoz hologram

awww schwoz built the healing suit to give him powers!

OH CRAP LIL D DED!!!

captain man was gonna feed lil d to the chest monster :o

OH CRAP U DED C MAN!!!!!

HOLY FRICK

awww the kids are defending captain man!

AND LIL D JUST CALLED HIM A MANCHILD! :o

wait captain man has daddy issues

THEY’RE ALL SCREAMING

NO LIL D NO!!!!

GO DANGER FORCE!!! :D

ray right after lil d and awol teleport away: “...we still doing movie night?” lol :D

those were the new(ish) danger force eps! i-

*record scratch*

wait...

THERE’S MORE!!! you thought this was just a double livewatch? i’ve sneakily turned it into a TRIPLE livewatch! this has been a lot of fun so we’re watching the other ep i missed out on!

the final ep of this forcetastic livewatch is ...‘monsty’!

double bubble toil trouble... :)

mika walks in screaming “WHERE’S MY MEAT???” just go to wendy’s!

mika is wearing captain man’s clothes because she did a bad thing! :o

ooh thunder!

spongebob who?

chapa: “you go to your dentist once a month?” lol :D

bose: “33 months? that’s like a hundred years!” miles *softly*: “buddy...”

mika: *breaks a glass* MIKA’S BROKEN A GLASS MIKA’S BROKEN A GLASS! (paul would be proud!)

is this what she’s freaked out about?

lol :D

bose: “WE LUV YOU DANNY CHEEEESST!!!!” double lol :D

there’s a ‘struggle for candy equality’

bose: “what’s a jury duty?” captain man: “when you turn 18- like i did a couple years ago” more like a billion couple years ago! :D

did mika go to jury duty to make up for the glass?

ray thinks left handed people cheat on taxes why

HE MEMED THE MEME!!!!!

and he thinks all people have 2 first names lol

WOAH mika was gonna CLONE ray???? :o

a tongue is god’s napkin

THUNDER STRIKE!!!

omg TINY RAY!!!!!

chapa: “is there a tiny ray shooting a blaster?” ray: “there’s an old ray doing that but that’s another story for another week” great fourth wall reference! ...and possible ‘gnight everybody?’

oh no she cloned ray THE SCARY WAY???

mika: “this is where the story starts to get weird” chapa: “starts to?” lol :D

OMG IT RAYENSTEIN!!!! :O

so that’s monsty!

monsty peed everywhere ew :(

twins! :D

also that’s monsty’s pee bucket double ew :(

chest monster was teleported away! rip chestie

bose keeps calling ray ‘sir’ is that like lil d?

i wonder if that’s a real phone number...

danny chest: “now we have... 100 dollars in pledges” ...oh :/

chapa called him ‘danny boi’ lol :D

DANNY’S THREATENING TO LAUNCH THE GANG AWAY

captain man: “surprise villain! classic!”

they were locked up and captain man said it was a classic!

jennifer lawrence donated 10 thousand! :D

launching off of mountains only ‘hurts for a second’ according to ray

WHO JUST GOT A PEE BUCKET HEAD :o

mika: “captain man wants us to say cool stuff before we use our powers!” how very sailor moon of you ray!

mika called bose ‘honey’ lol :D

CHAPA WANTS HIM TO LIFT THE ANVIL

miles wants monsty to help!!! :D

why is there dramatic music playing in the monsty teleport flashback

awww :D

awwww!!!!!! :D

HE’S IN THE DUNGEON WITH CHEST MONSTER

YAS CHEST MONSTER!!!

bose dropped the anvil on captain man WHY

chapa to mika: “SCREAM GIRL!!!!” YAS! :D

omg DUST :o

mika: “monsty’s coming through that door right now!” monsty: *doesn’t come through that door* awk-ward....

HE BROKE THROUGH THE DOOR YAS!!!! :D

danny hit monsty NOOOO :o

mika: “can you zap monsty?” chapa: “i can, but that’s mean” mika: “i know, but-” chapa: “i’ll still do it tho” lol

YAS MONSTY HIT DANNY WITH THE ANVIL!!!! :D

oh no is monsty gonna accidentally launch them

captain man go YEET!

monsty: “rut roh!” *wah wah wah wahhhh...*

how fancy!

captain: “time to distribute the employee of the month award to someone who has had great courage and sacrifice... mika can you get out of the way please” lol :D

aww monsty is the employee of the month!

AND MIKA IS PROUD!!!! :D

and schwoz did jury duty :) *wah wah wah wahhhh!!!!*

that was a great trio of eps! it was fun getting back to danger force and i can’t wait to see what will happen in the next eps! :D

#livewatch #danger force livewatches are always so fun! :D #especially now that i've finally found the missing eps!

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Roger Clemens, Suzy Waldman, And The Freakout Heard 'Round The World

If you listened, then you have heard it. If you played it with the sound off, the words are probably seared smoking into the wall behind you in looping New York Yankees cursive. But, for the record, after Roger Clemens' brief and dorky 2007 speech announcing his return to the team,radio color commentator Suzy Waldman cannonballs into the moment and explains what has just happened.

"Roger Clemens is in George's box, and Roger Clemens is coming back! Oh my good"—and there's a pause, here, as Waldman covers her microphone and says something to the production staff, or perhaps to play-by-play partner John Sterling. Then she is back, throaty and ecstatic and, to be honest, about three quarters of a mile over the top. " Oh my goodness gracious! Of all the dramatic things, of all the dramatic things I've ever seen, Roger Clemens standing right in George Steinbrenner's box, announcing he is back. Roger Clemens is a New York Yankee. And there we go, John … Now we don't need to discuss who takes that spot in the rotation."

Was it a bit much? It was, if we are being honest, a bit much. History has not been especially kind to Waldman's hyperbole—of all the dramatic things she'd ever seen would have been difficult to support even if Clemens had made a brilliant and moving speech and the dugout and stadium had erupted in tearful gratitude. None of that quite came through, and then Clemens went 6-6 with a 4.15 ERA in 18 starts for a Yankees team that wound up getting bounced from the playoffs in the Wild Card round*; the Boston Red Sox, who were outworked and outbid in their free agent run at Clemens, cruised through the postseason and dispatched the Colorado Rockies in the World Series. But if history was unkind to Waldman's performance, her peers in radio were significantly more so.

The audio of Waldman floridly losing her shit at the stadium that day became a sort of proto-meme, a shared joke grounded both in Waldman's deliriously and undeniably over-the-top performance and some other, uglier elements. In the days after Waldman briefly left her body live on the radio, Mike Francesa and Chris "Mad Dog" Russo played the clip over and over again on their WFAN show; shows like Opie And Anthony put it in similarly heavy rotation, not just in the days immediately afterwards but for years, less for any pressing sports-related reason than because it is so luridly, lividly ridiculous.

Or, anyway, that was part of it. In one representative bit, Opie and Anthony and co-host Jim Norton try to figure out who or what or who Waldman sounds like in the heat of her Oh My Goodness Gracious moment, running through Pee Wee Herman, Louis Armstrong, a gutshot Tim Roth in Reservoir Dogs, Homer Simpson drinking buddy Barney Gumble, and Sesame Street's Grover. "You should be fired," Norton says, "when you're a woman and you sound like Bobcat Goldthwait." The Opie And Anthony riffs on Waldman are funny, but they are also astringent and gendered and sometimes cruel. Francesa and Russo are slower-moving and more riff-averse creatures, and their mockery would naturally be both less funny and less profane. But all of it existed on a strange continuum. The clip of Waldman's rhapsody is absurd and hilarious on its own bellowing merits; there are many funny responses to it. But there are also some less funny and more obviously outwardly sexist ones, and all of these responses are adjacent to one another. The laughter that Waldman's performance naturally evokes did not necessarily come from the same place or run in the same direction, although it did all end up in the same place.

"Well-embedded Yankee moles tell me that deviants, who get their kicks harassing women, have come out of the woodwork and landed on Waldman," Bob Raissman wrote in the New York Daily News, nearly a month after Waldman's on-air rhapsody. "These creeps are fueled each and every time they hear some sports talkie play the tape of Waldman going gaga over Clemens' arrival. Playing this tape has become the macho thing to do." Raissman reported that Waldman was receiving crank calls and "perverted emails," and had taken to checking into hotels under an assumed name.

Waldman was not any happier with this than you would be, and confronted Russo when she ran into him outside the radio box at Shea Stadium. "Russo, according to well-embedded moles, tried defusing the situation by telling Waldman, "We were just having some fun," Raissman reported. "Waldman wasn't buying Russo's damage control/jive. She said she hoped he had 'his two days of fun,' but had 'ruined her life' in the process." Raissman reports that when Russo followed Waldman and attempted to cool her down, she "dropped two fat F bombs on Russo before accusing him of 'talking behind my back' for '20 years.'"

Waldman interviews A-Rod, in another dramatic moment. Photo by Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports

"I was very, very good," Waldman told the New York Times about her musical theater career, back in 1993. "I just wasn't an original, you know? People would say I had the heart of Judy Garland and I belted like Streisand and I had the range of Barbara Cook. But these people already exist." Waldman had a long and distinguished career on Broadway, and starred in Broadway revivals of No, No, Nanette and Man Of La Mancha, but realized in her thirties that her future lay elsewhere. "I stopped being cute and perky and 21," she told the Times in that 1993 story. "I look pretty good for 46, but I can't dance anymore with the 21-year-olds." She found her way into radio, and then sports radio; when WFAN launched in 1987, Waldman's was the first voice listeners heard.

"It was very different back then," Waldman told Adweek about her early days in sports radio. "I can't even go back in that timeframe because it was so confrontational. I'd get used condoms in the mail and death threats. Horrible things happened in those first few years." Denied the assignments she wanted, Waldman went ahead and made up her own, carving out beats covering the Knicks and the Yankees.

When Waldman was on the Yankees beat for WFAN in the station's early days, Steinbrenner refused to talk to her; she was not invited to the annual lunch that the team held for beat writers at Manhattan's 21 Club. "Waldman sent an overnight letter to Steinbrenner at his office in Tampa," John Solomon wrote in Sports Illustrated in 1997. "She pointed out that more people heard her daily reports on the highly rated Mike and the Mad Dog show than read the local sports pages, and she included a breakdown of the advertising rates the station received for her spots. 'I'm coming down to Tampa next Wednesday, and I expect an interview,' the missive concluded."

Steinbrenner gave Waldman the interview, against what he considered to be his better judgment. "I like my women to spend my money and look real pretty," Waldman recalled Steinbrenner saying to her. "I don't like them to be pilots, policemen or sports reporters." During her years covering the team, Waldman's relationship with Steinbrenner was as good as any relationship with Steinbrenner could be, which is to say that it whipsawed between sentimental largesse and wild roaring cruelty depending entirely upon the moods of one of the moodiest manchildren in sports history.

Steinbrenner bullied Waldman to tears, then receded to more acceptable levels of boorishness days later. In the peculiar ways in which Steinbrenner was loyal, though, he was loyal to Waldman, and if she was never quite safe from the blasting unmanned firehose of Steinbrenner's personal cruelty and sexism, he worked to protect her from the cruelty and sexism of others; when she received death threats from Yankee fans in 1989, Steinbrenner hired Waldman a plainclothes security detail. In 2012, Waldman told Adweek that Steinbrenner was "as important a human being in my life as anybody, except my family." The Yankees hired her as the color commentator for the team's WCBS radio broadcasts in 2005.

Waldman also admired the star in Steinbrenner's luxury box that mildly dramatic day in 2007. Waldman had been friends with Clemens for many years, before she began her radio career and when Clemens' Major League career was just beginning. "They shared an interest in baseball and soap operas," Raissman wrote in the Daily News, in 2012. "For Waldman, Clemens was always a stand-up guy. She liked his family and loved his mother." Given that Clemens had been accused by former teammate Jason Grimsley of using PEDs at the end of the 2006 season, and given his longstanding reputation as a high-handed redass, Waldman's affection for Clemens was not widely shared around the game. This did not make her any less inclined to stand up for her friend.

When Clemens was named in the Mitchell Report after the 2007 season, Waldman said she did not know whether he had or hadn't taken PEDs, but she vigorously defended him as a man, and a friend. "I can only judge people on what I observe and how they treat me," she told Newsday's Neil Best. "And since the mid-'80s, I've known him and all of his family and watched the kids being born and knew his mother and know his sisters … I never saw this stuff. I don't know if it's true. Does it change what I think of Roger Clemens? I don't think so." When a jury acquitted Clemens of six felony charges of lying to Congress in 2012, Waldman did not hide her happiness at the result, or her disdain for peers who continued to believe that Clemens was guilty as charged. "Waldman had some choice words about commentators with that particular opinion," Raissman wrote. "The only ones fit to print in a family newspaper are 'self-important.'"

The Yankees radio broadcast team is, in a way that is not always charming, a throwback to the ramshackle monomania of George Steinbrenner's years, when the Yankees were defined by both their swinging-dick grandiosity and incessant petty internecine office bullshit. The people that lasted, in that organization, were not necessarily the best or the brightest. They were the ones who truly believed—who saw Steinbrenner not as a world-historic butthead but a passionate man of vision, and who put up with his shit because the mystique and majesty of the franchise made it worth it. Caring about any team is a matter of faith, but the people that rose and stuck in the Yankees culture had to believe in a way that canceled out the ugliness and stupidity roiling around them.

Waldman was and is one of those—a survivor, absolutely, but also a believer. That the Yankees would try to stage the announcement Clemens' return to the team as a sort of WWE-style MOMENT is a testament to the deep tackiness of their decision makers. That Waldman would sell it as such, and sell it twice as hard as necessary because of how lame it was, was just her doing her job. The confluence of the team and its bellowing herald and this surly pink brick of a pitcher are what made this the dippy and hilarious and absurd moment that it was. But for all the things that are memorable and funny about this moment, only one is truly essential—if Waldman didn't really somehow believe that she was witnessing one of the most dramatic moments she'd ever seen, it wouldn't have stuck. She really believed it, and there's nothing more absurd or more dramatic than that.

* This piece has been corrected to reflect that the Yankees made the playoffs in 2007.

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