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#theyre like ''if you leave those in u have a rlly high chance of getting nasty infections and losing the entire ear'' nd hes just
indigopurple · 4 years
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Basically a review of OP episode 503 ig
Currently rewatching post-war arc (in the dub so I don't have any screenshots for u guys sry) and theres a few things id like to point out.
During a conversation Dadan once had with Garp, they were talking about Roger. Garp said that even if they were facing powerful enemies, he would never run away because he wouldnt dare leaving his comrads behind; it wasnt an option for him. Obviously we see this in Ace. But ALSO, isnt this what he did with Katakuri? It was a little different cuz of the setting mostly, but he separated himself from his crew to fight off katakuri, and lied to them about being okay so they didn't worry (he was already getting his ass kicked by then, so he just made that stupid smile and told them not to worry (or smth like that, I can remember the exact line) (that smile was so gross and fake cuz he fucking sucks at lying). Also he said roger destroyed a buncha soldiers cuz they mouthed off his men. That's what Ace tried to do but instead he died. :(
"The pain he went through just made him hold on tighter to the ones he loved" -Garp, about Roger. "Despite his flaws and his bad reputation, his crew still trusted him completely." -also Garp, about Roger. These both sound a lot like Luffy AND Ace.
When Dogra got home and told everyone about Sabo's ship being shit down and him dying (which we all know didnt happen, thank fuck), (by the way the absolutely lost looks on Ace's and Luffy's faces with the sudden silence hurt like a bitch), Luffy started crying and said "WE SHOULDNT'A LET HIM GO, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT". Which fucking says something about him (thinking of episodes 913-915 when he goes fucking berserk, but before that he learns that Kaido probably killed Tama and he says "I should've escorted them..!" (*ugly cries*)). Ace also reacted pretty similarly-- "Sabo...why didn't we go back into town and bring him back here?! We're so stupid!" And he gets mad and asks where he could find the bastard that killed him (obviously not getting a good answer since it was a fucking celestial dragon ugh). That is what Luffy does, in present time. He results to anger first, not sadness. Not sure when he learned to do that but I'm 99 percent sure it was from Ace. Also the blaming himself thing? High chance thats ALSO from Ace. Who else would teach him that self hating behaviour?!
Dadan pins Ace down to stop him from going after the Celestial Dragon to calm him down, telling him he cant do anything, he's not big or strong enough to do anything and he'll be killed as soon as he tries anything, especially since it was the whole country -the whole WORLD- that killed Sabo. He can't do anything. And then they tied him to a tree outside to let him cool off. Oh yeah then he also told luffy to stop crying like a little girl or else he'll- (and he didn't finish the sentence). ...Ok maybe thats why luffy started being more angry than sad.
This is where things get a little more :( . Ace reads the letter Sabo sent them before he died. As he reads, he walks to the end of the forest, to a cliff overlooking the ocean. And starts fucking bawling (btw the voice actor who had Ace's childhood part did not do a very good job, no where near as in character and real as Coleen Clickenberg did with all of Luffy's crying scenes. She was spot on.) ...do you see where im going with that? He isolated himself before letting himself feel sad. It was all rage and then calm beforehand. Y-you see where im going with that. Dont make me say it.
"How's Luffy doing, is he any better?" "Well...he hasnt been eating much, but he still eats twice as much as we do". Oh look, That's what happened after Ace died too. There's a behavioral pattern that hasnt gone away. Not sure why it wouldve tho.
Luffy is mopeing, lying on the ground in a similar setting ace was at when he cried. Hes thinking about some of the things Sabo said, like how theyre gonna sail the seas together, and he clenches his hands into tight, shaking fists. After Ace shows up and hits him, and talking abt some other stuff I don't feel like relaying, Luffy tightens his grip on the straw hat and tells ace, whimpering, he wants to get stronger (and stronger, and stronger, and stronger and stronger and....) And he wants to be the strongest in the world. "And then, I'll protect everyone. I won't lose anyone I care about". He gets stronger mainly to protect the people he loves. And then he asks ace to promise he won't die. To which he hits Luffy again and tells him he should be more worried about himself dying first. And then the famous line that hurts like a bitch- "I'm NEVER going to DIE!" And then this hopeful music comes on (fucking damnit funimation, u gotta do this? Really??) Also he says he wont die as long as he has a wussy little brother to protect. ...FUCK. Ok, the fist clenching is a thing he does all the fucking time, usually when he gets mad. This was different because he wasnt mad, he was sad. He clenched his fist because thinking about it hurt. Which, huh, sounds a lot like his whole episode after waking up from his 2 week coma on the polar tang. To try and stop the mental pain of those horrendous memories, he resulted to physically pain. He hurt himself. So, He clenches his fists in times like these to fight off the mental pain and the urge to cause himself physical pain. Guys, our boy is bad at emotions, help him. ....ok this paragraph is longer than I anticipated so ill dumb down the rest of it ig. Next part, him asking ace to promise he wont die. The music, the body language, the over change in mood- this comforts him. He stopped hiding his face and silently sobbing after ace said this. OH YEAH! didn't he tell jinbe not to die when they parted ways in Totto Land? And then, hes missing still in Wano and we see Luffy is worried....but convinced Jinbe will show up. Again, this comforts him. Hes nervous cuz someone KOFF KOFF ACE broke that promise once. But jinbe is his crew mate so he trusts him, thank god.
"-But whoever did it, they must be opposed to freedom." The whole freedom thing? That runs through Luffy's blood and spirit.His brothers fought for it, his dad is the man who strives to give everyone freedom basically, and Luffy himself has seen enough of the OPPOSITE of freedom to be so, so much more than just against it. Hence why he of course was so eager to free the slaves in Sabaody, the kids in punk hazard, the toys in dressrosa, the country of Wano from Kaido's tyrany. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree huh.
I dont think Luffy would remember his promise with Shanks if it werent for his brothers putting feul to his dream. It was a stupid bet at first; he just wanted to beat Shanks, right then. But after meeting Sabo and Ace, he found the opposite of freedom and human rights. And then he wanted, REALLY wanted, to become the free-est man in the world; the pirate king.
Last one i promise ok? This one is less connected to whats going on in the episode at this point, but something I noticed (its so obvious everyone has seen this ok) was when luffy cries, his posture is always open. He doesn't curl in on himself like many people would do (I know I would, lol). He doesnt hug himself, protect himself. He's just, opened up to whoever is watching, literally. This has a little more to do with something I haven't talked about much in this post yet; his self-destruction issues. I said he tried to hurt himself when he felt mental pain, which is definitely similar. But he cries and doesnt try to protect or comfort himself, like he doesn't have that programmed into his mind. Reminder that he only wants to live because of his dream, and if he doesnt have his dream, he wants to die. (Whoa.). Ok, so no self preservation mechanism at all rlly. Hes basically ride or die. So, when things hurt so much that he cries, he has no hope left. He just kinda...dies inside. So this was mildly different after sabo died. Yes we saw him just standing there, sobbing. But the next day he's still crying, and instead he's laying on the ground. I saw that and the voice in the back of my head told me he wanted to be a part of that lifeless dirt beneath him. Then, Ace walked over. And his words made him feel the hope that I told you about earlier, and he sat up into a sitting position. And HUGGED HIS LEGS TO HIS CHEST. There's some self preservation! Some hope! Some will to exist, to live! Something we saw none of as he sat in front of his brothers corpse, shutting down. He sat there, open to his enemies, incapable of protecting himself. Practically anyone couldve killed him right then and there. I think he mightve liked that, at that moment. Like thank god he has that stupidly good luck cuz if he didn't I swear someone couldve thrown and axe or FUCKING ANYTHING AT THAT MOMENT and hed be dead becuase he never physically or mentally prepared himself. On purpose.
Our poor boy needs some fucking attention and therapists. (Insert my rant post about how jinbe is on the crew primarily for anger management and therapy, not just being a helmsman.) Ugh, smh ugly cries
Aaaaand thats about the end of the episode. Theres so many little tics and peesonality traits that you notive thru this episode, and I only noticed them cuz im rewatching this part of the show for like the third time. I don't react as much as the first time of course but some things are definitely sadder after knowing what's going on and what will happen later on.
Moral of the story (post)? I think luffy is almost equally as alike -if not, more similar to roger as ace is. Also, high key genuinely think Luffy met like NO ONE but Garp before he met Shanks and his crew. What the fuck was his first like 5 years of being alive like? (He wantd to be a pirate cuz Garp didnt want that. Rebellious baby asshole. And then shanks made things worse, in a good way for luffy. And then ace and sabo made that worse thing worse for a good reason. Luffy lives...for those influences. And that is fucking it. Why.
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Oh thanks tumblr for moving my picture to the bottom of the post u fucking idiot
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dreammutual-remade · 6 years
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high school!donghyuck
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request: idk if you’re taking reqs but i really like ur highscool aus so if u want to write one abt hyuck ill be :^))))))) - anonymous
word count: 5.1k
a/n: oof its been awhile unnies!!!! ive had exams for the past two weeks and I still have exams now so im sorry for not posting anything but reblogs with headassery in the tags!!! we are continuing the high school series n renjun is next!! since I got like 3 requests for him !!!!! hhehhehehheheh its gonna b cute <3 anyways hope u enjoy this I love my lil duckie baby
masterlist
mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung
big oof i’m gonna cry while writing this
i’m running out of creative ways to say let’s dive in
let us take the plunge
okay!!!!!!!!!! so you’ve been an editor/writer for the school paper for pretty much all of your high school career
you’re not super well known though because you don’t try to take any credit for anything and always sign your pieces like “- the daily newspaper team” or smth 
anywhom you’ve always loved writing about the stuff around you or making up little short stories
one of your hobbies is just going people watching and trying to write down a brief description of people you see and what you think they’re on the way to do
you’ve befriended the baristas at your favorite spot, lucas and mark, and they always beg to read them but you never let them because mark is too nice to tell you it’s shit and lucas is too dumb to at least say it nicely
you’ve got at least 6 notebooks FULL of these little stories but you’ve never really ? showed anyone because wow showing others your work is Scary
criticism ???/$&/&:&:&:
it’s midway through the first semester of the school year and you’ve been super busy since it’s football season and you gotta write about all the games
and you haven’t had much time to write your cute little stories for yourself and you miss it a lot :/
this weekend though the chance of rain is SUPER high so the football game is cancelled and you have plenty of time to yourself !! :D
there is, a setback tho
THUNDER!!!!! IS SO SCARY !!!!!!
u fckin softie
you decide to tough it out though and get suited up in some polka dot rain boots and a rain jacket and set off to find somewhere to chill
as you’re walking to the nearest lil greenhouse/cafe thing it starts raining ,, ,,, hARDER
when you started it wasn’t rlly raining it was just like that weird tension in the air right before the air pressure drops and it starts to rain and you were already on edge OOF
but then it’s raining so you clutch your notebook to your chest and dash
usain bolt had nothing on you girly you were ZOOM ZOOM
broom broom- doyoung
unfortunately you don’t make it though because with you head down to keep the rain out of your eyes you run RIGHT into someone’s CHEST !!!!!!
hehe u know i’m a sucker for these god damn TROPES
your notebook goes flying and and the arms attached to the Chest That Caused Your Grief come up to catch you by the arms
“oh gOD sorry are you okay ??? i wasn’t looking and i was trying to keep my journal dr- MY JOURNALSDJDDD”
you fling yourself out of this boys arms and pick up your soaking wet journal sadly
:((((((( you had so many stories in there wtf
“oh shit i’m sorry do you uh want me to buy you another one ???”
“no that’s okay it wasn’t your fault :( and it’s just a journal i’m only sad because all my stories are gone :(((((“
you finally look up from your Ruined journal to see , the prettiest boy
you can’t tell for sure cause his hair is soaking wet but it’s a bright red that looks a bit faded and his skin is tanned and golden like HONEY OOF
he meets your eyes and awkwardly smiles and he looks so GUILTY AW
“no really it’s fine don’t feel bad!!”
“okay but i feel bad what can i do to make it up to you?”
“hMMM you could come help me think of wacky stories about people who walk past”
“well if you INSIST m’lady”
“aw, never mind”
“IM JUST KIDDING SJDJJD”
so in the pouring rain you both walk to cafe and find a little corner to people-watch in
on the way there he tells you his name is donghyuck but his friends call him hyuck
“dude that’s the sound goofy makes when he laughs your friends are terrible”
“oh my god i don’t even think they know what they’re saying HsjdjHEHHS”
after a couple minutes of bad goofy impressions you decide to call him duckie instead because ,,,, GARSH MICKEY 🤠🤠🤠
also because it’s cute
you didn’t hear this from me but he uwued so hard rip his street cred with the Boys
anyways right before you settle in you’re like hey uh did you have somewhere to be like weren’t you heading places
and he was like nah i like the rain it’s nice to just walk around feels GOOD
your eyes widen so big and he snorts because what’s so ridiculous about that
and you’re like uh UH NO NOPE NO SIR I DONT FUCK WITH DEMONS
your dramatic ass tries to get up and LEAVE but he grabs your wrist and is like noooo we haven’t even written any stories yet why do you hate rain so much ??
you explain how thunder is the work of the devil and that lightning could strike you down where you stand at any moment and storms are EVIL
he chuckles and side eyes you
“aW you big wimp you’re afraid of thunderstorms aren’t you”
“yES. like any sane person would be”
“you know a lot of people actually like storms”
“like i said, SANE people do not”
and then you change the subject right quick because your face is getting RED with embarrassment
you n donghyuck spend like 2 hours just sitting in the corner and writing little scenarios on napkins
“oh shit that girl over there with the french braids is TOTALLY gonna marry hipster beanie guy in two years. mark my words”
“idk y/n she lowkey has the hots for the barista”
“ ew you mean mark??”
“yeah. now THAT man is a work of art”
MARKHYUCK RISE
“god what is wrong with you maybe you should buy me another book”
“too late now we’re FRIENDS and i don’t owe you ANYTHING”
“being friends doesn’t work like that at all but, okay”
at the end of the day you’ve got a stack of napkins with scribbled notes on them
(one of them has donghyuck’s number on it skdkkfjd)
he leaves you with a bright smile and you’re in awe this boy is so golden and lovely
oof and when you were still in the cafe his hair had dried to the unnatural red color that he ? somehow made look good ugh not fAIR
and it was a lil curly and fluffy and looked very soft :(((((
as you walk home you drift along the sidewalk with a stupid smile on your face wow please get a little less obvious hunty
when you get home the sun is setting and the rain has cleared and you are so Happy that was the best day !!!
you weren’t even scared of the thunder because whenever the sky would fckin CRACK OPEN hyuck would subtly try to keep your attention and distract you with questions
the sky: AAAAAAAAAAA
duckie: oH Hey uhhh so hOW do you even come up these stories ?):$:$ theyre so good
such a sweet boy uwu
when you get home your mom eyes you suspiciously as you drift down the hall towards your room but doesn’t comment
she didn’t need to though because you immediately return and tell her everything !!!
she encourages you to befriend him at school and see where it goes from there ;))) or just TEXT HIM
so you do
both of those things !!!
you: hey!! it’s y/n btw
duckie: hey! u make it home alive without the sky cracking open and killing u
you: stOP MAKING FUN OF ME
you send him memes and he sends , even better ones back this boy is Husband Material
the next couple weeks you realize that hyuck is actually in like a lot of your classes
and he’s like yeah i don’t blame you for not noticing since your nose is always in one of those Damn Journals
can’t believe u smh
anywhom
you start actually interacting with people in class
and by people i mean donghyuck and any of his friends who happen to be there
you literally get thrown into their friendgroup like one day you know donghyuck and have vaguely heard of jeno since he’s on the soccer team
and then the next you’re a part of the group message and jaemin begs for your math homework during lunch ????
“jaemin just dO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK FOR ONCE ???”
“ugh but i don’t know how”
“hey you know what maybe if you didn’t sleep in class you WOULD”
“IM TIRED GOD DAMN IT”
this is usually when duckie interjects with
“hey now girls, you’re both smart <3”
“i know im smart but , jaemin , i don’t know about him 😔😔”
poor jaemin leave him alone :(
jisung is , extREMELY awkward around you because he’s a Baby Freshman and you’re a Female Senior hsjdjf it’s so cute
and chenle is the complete opposite he IMMEDIATELY latches onto you and is always like
“y/n !!!! wanna watch this video of me singing and playing the piano when i was thirteen on live national television !!!!”
“y/N !!!!!!! can you drive me n jisung to get ice cream plEASE !!! we won’t even play PSY this time”
“okay,,,,, pinky promise?”
his pinky hooks around yours at an incredible speed as he jumps up and down with excitement
“pinky promise !!!!!!!!!!”
hyuck overhears and insists upon coming with for , unknown reasons
renjun and jeno keep snickering to each other across the lunch table too uGH
sneaky bastards !
after school you wait in the parking lot for the Babies with hyuck who looks rather flushed considering his skin is pretty tan and it takes a lot for him to visibly blush ??
“hey duckie boy you good?”
“haha yEAH uh just wondering where the boys are hhhh”
“oh yeah ! they should’ve been here like 10 mins ago”
your phone buzzes in your pocket and you go to check it to see a text in the group message
lele: hey y/n~ me n jisung can’t come we totally forgot we joined a frisbee team and there’s practice today !!!
blueberry: yeah ! have fun w/ hyuckie tho
moominluvr96: sjdjd i’m so proud of them
jenomunomunomu: absolute legends have fun at ur frisbee practice my sons
you: 🅱️ro i wanted to go home and SLEEP
blueberry: sorry ! xoxo :*
duckie: chenle my son ? how could you 🅱️etray me this way???
you: ur dead to me
you: literally what’s a chenle ?? sounds like a poisonous fruit
lele: NO IM SORRY
but tbh you’re just being Silly you don’t mind just going with Sunshine Boy
hyuck has only gotten redder as the texting went on though what’s his deal 0.0
you agree to take his car !
actually you insist because you don’t wanna drive but, let’s say you agreed
you find out that hyuck exclusively listens to hipster bands and the occasional troye sivan song because we love a gay legend
actually his music taste is ALL OVER THE PLACE but we r still boppin ladies
you roll the windows down even tho it’s Chilly and let your hand float in the breeze until your fingers start getting numb and you pull your hand back in and roll up the window
okay maybe that was a Bad Idea your fingers almost hurt they’re so cold and you’re rubbing the feeling back into them when hyuck clears his throat
you look up at him and he tilts his chin toward the hand he stretched toward you
you’re confused bc like ? i don’t have anything to give u duckie
he sighs anxiously
“just. give me your hand. mine are warm because i didn’t try to be cool and stick my hand out the window like this is a teen coming of age movie”
“have you ever just been nice and not followed it up with a weirdly specific insult”
“nope. now gimme”
you cautiously placed your hand in his and felt heat bloom all over your cheeks and trail up to your ears and down your neck
he gulps and interlocks your fingers and tucks them in the pocket of his hoodie
you have to lean against the console in between you a little so that your arm isn’t strained but it’s,,,,, Warm and Nice
you’re quick to continue the conversation like normal but your voice sometimes goes in and out since he is subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand or tapping his fingers against yours
when you arrive you awkwardly pull your hand from his grip to get out of the car and he cringes a lil :(
you decide to be bold for once in your life and run around the car to catch up with him and shove your other hand into his
“this one’s cold too”
he ducks his head and smiles but gives your hand a lil squeeze :3 uwu
eventually though you do have to let go and enjoy your ice cream
you just make small talk with him about the newspaper and whatever homework is due the next day when a man walks in wearing BRIGHT RED CLOWN SHOES
the weirdest part though is the fact that other than the clown shoes the man is dressed like a body builder and has the hulking mass of one
and also there is a PARROT ON HIS SHOULDER ???
you and hyuck whip to face each other and then look back at the man
without looking away you slide your notebook to the middle of the table and flip open to where you’ve bookmarked the next available page
needless to say you both have a field day making up storylines for this man
“hey hyuckie i missed this it’s been forever since it’s been just the two of us and my journal”
“me too, sunshine”
“heY now you’re the sunshine in this relationship”
both of you choke at your use of the term “relationship” but continue with the conversation JSKSK
“alright but then you have to be the rain”
“aw you know i don’t like the rain”
“yes i know that’s why YOU are sunshine”
“kay but you are so much more like sunshine than i, an Emo”
“how bout i be sunshine since you like sunshine and me, and you be rain since i like rain and you”
OOF ????????
you blush for the Millionth Time and nod shyly and duckie is about to turn purple YIKES
you leave the ice cream shop and climb back in the car and the whole atmosphere is very Tense
you sigh because you miss holding his hand and then turn up the song on the radio which just happens to be, Walkin On Sunshine
THE !!! IRONY !!!
you giggle into your hand and he snorts and you both break into laughter
you plug your phone into the aux
“alright time for some Real Tunes”
“i swear to GOD if you play Bad Boy one more time i’m gonna LOSE IT”
“fuck you red velvet are LEGENDS”
“the only reason you know who they are is because mark tells everyone with a pulse that one of them is from canada just like him”
“okay and ??? i can still appreciate that they produce iconic songs only”
“LISTEN I LOVE RED VELVET TOO BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”
you playfully bicker the whole way back and when you get back to the school to pick up your car you realize you never even got to play your song
“for your information, i was in fact NOT going to play bad boy i was going to play the bop of the century, what is love by twice”
and then, with heavy sarcasm
“well gee why didn’t you just sAY SO”
“IM SICK OF YOUR GIRL GROUP SLANDER LEE DONGHYUCK”
then he giggles and grabs your hand to keep you from getting more than halfway out of the car
“okay okay you know i’m just messing with you”
“yes but leave my gorls out of it”
he releases your hand with fake disgust and wipes it on the passenger seat headrest
“ugh go home, gru”
“it’s a good meme and you can’t even deny it duckie boy”
you blow him a half serious half playful kiss as you bounce over to your car and climb in
you play bad boy and roll the windows down as you drive by his car just to spite him and he laughs good naturedly
it’s only when you get home that you’re like heyyyy nOW
WAS THAT A DATE ??????
you tell your mom about it and she’s like uHHH sounds like a DATE to me ???
but you’re Unsure so you don’t say anything to the others or hyuck just the usual goodnight texts and whatnot
although it could be argued ,, that goodnight texts are a little, relationship-y
it could also be argued , that you do have his contact name as , duckie☼♥
but those can be discussed another time
you continue to hang out with the boys although you refuse to allow them to sit with you at football games because they’re so DISTRACTING
jeno and jisung just fckin yell the whole time while you try to jot notes down to turn it into a story later for the paper
but you can’t concentrate or even figure out wtf is goin on because they’re scREAMING and jumping and messing you uP !
so you sent them elsewhere although,,, hyuck stayed with you
he always does “just in case you get cold or smth”
ur not fooling anyone hyuckie baby
and would you look at that time has FLOWN and it’s time for homecoming !!!!
you plan on going in a big group with hyuck and all The Boys and jaemin has even scored a date !!!
it was highkey through trickery but that’s okay
chenle and jisung are gonna wear matching shirts because they’re headass like that
you’ve already bought a dress and you haven’t ….. shown hyuckie……. just in case……… he asks you
since he…… hasn’t …… YET
renjun keeps assuring you that you don’t need to find a date and that everything is covered but ???? inch resting how duckie has done nOT ONE THING
alright the day of the dance you wake up feeling a little off but go through your normal saturday routine of eating a waffle and absentmindedly watching old gossip girl reruns
but later in the day you feel SHITTY
you’re flushed and your head hurts and it takes so much EFFORT just to get up and get a glass of water
you , comrade, are sick :-(
you text in the gm to let your boys know you can’t come
chenle thinks you’re faking until he calls and hears you sniffling and how rough your voice sounds
“hEY THOT I KNOW UR FAKING BC U DONT HAVE A DATE”
“chenle if it didn’t hurt to speak i would yell at u but my eyes are watering please just text me”
“oh,,,,sorry love u”
and then he hangs up real fast lmao
so you decide to just wallow in despair in your bed and rent overpriced movies on demand
there’s a half drank mug of tea that has long gone cold that contains the medicine you’re supposed to be taking but,, you can’t be bothered tbh lifting your hand is so hard
after a few movies and the sun setting there’s knock at the door ???
you barely hear it since you’re in your room with the door closed but /sigh/ you gotta go answer
you drag yourself out of bed and stumble to the front door and open it, immediately slumping against the frame
this whole time you have still not opened your eyes because light hurts a lil and you know your house well enough
in hindsight that was probably dumb considering you don’t know who’s at the door
you try to open your eyes but they only turn half lidded and droopy so you can just barely make out donghyuck looking Concerned on your front porch
“duckie? what are u doing here?”
“uhhh i uh came to take you to homecoming ??”
he then holds up some flowers and smiles awkwardly
“duckie. baby. sunshine. did u not read the texts i sent ? also it is VERY late to be asking me to homecoming. also, i am a little high on cold medication”
“srry princess, can i come in? you look like you need company and soup and possibly some Sarcastic Banter”
“sounds good duck”
“okay duckie was already incorrect please don’t shorten it to duck”
“you know i didn’t have to let you in”
“so what kind of soup do you want? :-)”
he busies himself attempting to make soup while you have melted into a chair at the dining table with one eye cracked open to watch him
he is very obviously Struggling so you wobble to your feet to stand behind him at the stove and maybe lean a little too much into his back to prop your chin up on his shoulder and reach a hand around him to turn the heat down on the stove
you’ve reached the point of I Don’t Give A Shit and have given up on trying not to be affectionate with him you’re too tired and sickly to restrain yourself and his heart is just steadily beating faster and faster
after your soup you drag him into your bedroom to force him to provide you warmth while watching another movie
but he digs his heels into the floor and tugs on your hand to turn you around
“since you’re missing homecoming….. wanna dance?”
“in my bedroom. while i’m dying. with no music.”
“i’ll take care of the music. cmon don’t be difficult”
“i’m not being difficult i’m just-
you’re cut off by him pressing a finger to your lips and going shhhhhh
you open your mouth to curse him out bc hOW DARE HE
but then he gently pulls you by the waist into his chest and does his best to tuck you under his chin
you’re too comfortable like this so you don’t bother admonishing him for earlier and just settle into his embrace
you loop your arms around his neck as he starts to sway you back and forth
after a couple seconds he starts humming, quietly at first and then louder
and then he starts singing and it’s so sO SWEET AND SOFT
you can feel each breath he takes under your hands and the vibrating of his vocal chords against your forehead and you just close your eyes and press closer to him
you’ve literally never been this content in your whole life binch
he is so warm and ever so often smooths a hand up and down your spine whenever you shiver a little or shift in his arms
when the song finishes you keep swaying with him a little while longer
you’re leaning against him so hard that like the majority of your weight is on him yikes
“babe are you asleep”
“mm”
“no?”
“mmm”
“pretty close though?”
“hm”
“alright”
he chuckles and presses a barely there kiss to the top of your head and sort of waddles the two of you over to the bed
you don’t even have to ask him to climb in with you that was The Plan, Stan
(that’s a saying and also i’m calling u a stan wow queen of puns)
as soon as he settles in you tuck yourself under his arm and throw an arm over him to play with the fingers of his other hand
you’ve got the breakfast club on and it’s Real Nap Hours
hyuck’s arm falls asleep pretty soon tho so instead you switch to laying on your sides facing each other with your face pressed into his neck and your arms draped over each other
right before you fade into unconciousness, he tilts his chin down and nudges his nose against yours to get your attention
your eyes flutter open and you look up at him while he smiles gently down at your sleepy expression aWE ???
“hey wanna be my date when you’re not on your death bed?”
“god, what a romantic. is that a shakespeare quote?”
“shut up and say yes”
“alright fine”
“with more enthusiasm!”
“YES!! GOD DAMN IT”
he shakes his head but then leans down to press a lingering kiss against your cheek before tucking you back against him and evening out his breathing
you fall asleep and dream of boys with beautiful voices who love to dance in the rain
a couple hours later you wake up to a forehead smooch and your Boy whispering bye angel
you sit up and whine and he’s like bby i have to go it’s like midnight n my momma wants me home :(((
you pout and he giggles and taps your lips with his index finger
“go back to sleep and i’ll text you something nice to wake up to yeah?”
you nod and grab his hand to kiss it before flopping back down and passing The Fuck Out
the next morning you wake up still feeling a bit shitty but smiling anyways bc you’ve scored the cutest boy in the universe uwu
he even kept his promise and left you a cute message to wake up to ;((((
duckie☼♥: good morning bbg i hope ur feeling better today and that the sun shines all day for u !!!
you: JEKDKDJ DUCKIE IM STILL SICK BUT TAKE ME ON A DATE RN
you: 💗💗💗💕💌💞💞💗😤💖🤧😔💗😔🤧😔🌺💐🌺🌺🌸💐😔💛😔💛💐🤧💐💐💖💖
duckie☼♥: noooo ur gross
you: you ruined it :(((
duckie☼♥: i mean noooo u gotta get better
you: okay :)))
you finally get over your cold like 4 days later and insist you’re fine to be Taken Out And Treated Like A Princess
he tells you to dress warm except gloves bc he wants to hold youR HAND CAN YOU BELIEVE
you’re weirdly not nervous ? like you thought you would be but you’re just excited and very happy !!!! uwu
he picks you up about an hour after school and reveals that he’s gonna take you to all the cafes in town to people watch and write stories which is !!! your favorite activity !!!!!!
“is it lame??? oh god you think it’s lame i’m so sORRY”
“nO!!! no i love it you did good”
“are you sure?”
“yes duckie”
“okay good i mean i knew you’d like it”
“but you just-“
“hm?”
“,,,,, nevermind”
you both hike around town until it gets late and you’re tired and you end up on a bench in the local park with his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair
you lightly scratch his scalp and hum and he practically PURRS like a cat
(furry ????? it’s more likely than you think)
his eyes are closed and you trace your fingers over his features lightly until it tickles and he scrunches up his nose aw bABY !!!!!
then, without opening his eyes
“so when are you gonna man up and kiss me?”
“first of all, i will never man up i prefer being female thanks. sECOND WHY DO I GOTTA DO IT”
“i asked you on the date !!! you gotta do something!!!”
“i held your hand first!!”
“after i literally offered my hand to you”
“uGH fine come here”
“no i’m not gonna ‘come here’ you literally just made a disgusted noise at the thought of kissing me”
“it wasn’t at the thought of kissing you it was just at you”
“this isn’t helping at all”
you roll your eyes playfully and then yank him up by the collar of his shirt to press your forehead against his
“does this help?”
aND THEN YOU LAY ONE ON HIM ??????:$&:&;&;
QUEEN OF CONFIDENCE
he sighs against your lips and sits up a little more so he can reach you better, smoothing a hand up to cup the side of your jaw and neck
you pull away and his eyes are still closed
“hmmm,,, yeah”
you scoff and drop him back to half laying on your lap
“you’re such a dork”
“yeah but i’m your dork now so it’s embarrassing for both of us”
“aw i wouldn’t have it any other way <333”
“is it just me or was that sarcasm”
“just you <3333”
renjun, who has been rOOTING FOR YOU GUYS THIS ENTIRE TIME
screams when you call him that night lol
literally SCREECHES
chenle happens to be with him and screeches eVEN LOUDER
basically the whole group screams simultaneously they’ve been shipping it since day one
hyuck is a bit prideful so when you guys are out in public he’s not super affectionate but ,, when you’re not out
he’s wrapped around you like a koala and will never let go
you have to go pee? hold it
you’re dehydrated and dying? you can live off of his Love
your favorite activity to do together is BAKING because it never goes well no matter how hard you try
and although it usually ends in DISASTER it’s also a good time and afterwards duckie lets you curl up between his legs on the couch and nap uwu !
dating really didn’t change the dynamic between you two other than affection you still read each other to DUST on the regular  lmao
no one gets too harsh tho bc you love each other and whatnot
ugh love ruins all the FUN doesnt it :/
donghyuck makes it his business to know exactly when it will rain and makes sure to be with you when it does
at the first sight of clouds he is in your house with board games and movies and snuggles to distract you !!! what a sweetheart
on days when it’s really bad you just climb into bed and bury your face in his chest while he talks about whatever comes to mind and distracts you
he also takes to slumping down and falling asleep on your shoulder whenever you have movie nights together and it’s so CUTE
his little heart shaped lips and his cheeks always end up smushed and he just looks adorable wow rip you
he’s obsessed with your cheeks he loves to cup your face while he talks to you and press gentle kisses to them during Sleepy Time or when you part ways in the school hallways
if he’s excited he’ll bound up behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek real hard and then start babbling about whatever’s got him so worked up
basically, hyuckie is a boy full of sunshine and passion and sarcasm and he’s the best boyfriend you could ever ask for :’-)
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survivorwakea · 5 years
Text
Episode 5: “my scumbag ass did the unthinkable and dirtbagged myself to safety” - Adam
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AHHHHH I DID IT my scumbag ass did the unthinkable and dirtbagged myself to safety, I’m not proud of what I had to do or how I behaved when Taylor got eliminated but in all honesty that was all I knew I could do to get me through.
So okay let me explain my mindset, I was a goner I felt fucked and my back was most certainly against the damn wall. Nobody was answering me and nobody was even trying to talk to me, I knew that Thomas and Chloe are tight as fuck so I needed Tom to think that Taylor was going for Chloe so he would feel that he needed to protect her.  All the red flags were there for Chloe and she knew it was m I could see it in her face that she didn’t believe me at all when I was framing Taylor. She knew that I had made it and I honestly did the dumbest thing ever by snapping and celebrating cause it was live to the cast and being all new to live tribals I wasn’t thinking at all
Okay so after a very explosive tribal council one that I will honestly learn a lot from for future games 😂😂 a swap happens and I was hoping that I could be swapped with like Elmo but I got out with Zack and Ian oh and Chloe... she loves me I swear.
I think I just need to work on just staying calm and cool to try and claw back from that very unneeded aggressiveness just gotta grind this challenge out and get a W
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I’m on a tribe with Asya. This is gonna go SO well😒
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Im still reeling from that fucking tribal. Im so mad at myself for voting out Taylor and letting Adam fucking manipulate me. Im sick of men, Im sick of their shit. Men have no place in my life right now, theyre all lying cheating fucking scumbags and I would rather cut my tongue out before I ever have to talk to another man again
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So, this has been an interesting 24 hours. We swapped tribes again, and as it turns out, the two people who were probably beefing the most at tribal, Adam and Chloe -- they both end up on my tribe. It's a bit frustrating, because I like them both. And if we lose this challenge and have to go to tribal, and they end up opposite each other, I'm worried about picking sides. In fact, I'm worried, period, about this damn tribal. 5 people equals not many places to hide. Yikes.
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I’ve been crying about it. I fucking suck, we just established that.
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Well it's another loss! I feel like Denise Stapley xD. Anyways, I was put all alone on my new tribe but since I wanted to strangle Adam after what he did it's a good thing, but then I realize poor Chloe is with him I hope he gets it after that last vote. As for this vote, I think of Joey and his third grade picture of a flag that says Kane instead of Milu makes him the easy target. But it is still early, something may change. I'm glad to be back with Asya and both Bodhi and Jared are really cool. I feel I have options.
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No. Fuck this. I'm absolutely sick of going to tribal. No. I'm not happy at all. I'm pretty sure I'm cursed right now and all I want to do is sleep. Also Adam is back in my DMs being like lol I still wanna work with u. No thank u to that either. Adam plus tribal makes Chloe not very happy
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Well I’m going to another tribal council, I’m getting sick of these but I think if I survive this one their is a possibility merge is next so I think me and tribals will just stay being friends. Poor Chloe and Tommy though they legit have been to every single tribal where I’ve been to every one BUT one.
My plan here is to try and vote Justin with Ian and Zack and hopefully the three of us can Hold the majority this round and take him out so that way moving forward I still slightly gave chloe who I believe is starting to come around again. I think she is finally starting to understand that the only reason I did what I did was being I was getting voted out and desperate times call for desperate measures and I think she gets that.
I’m going to tell her about my plans to vote Justin in a little bit I just hope that she agrees to it calmly and we can just have a simple 4-1 and call it a day.
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hey yawlls this round was wild... so basically we swapped AGAIN and I'm with ben, johnny, anabel and lily, so overall a very solid group of people.
I'm rlly happy that I'm on the tribe with Ben because we share a lot of same thoughts about the game and I think that we are somewhat of a duo? I mean there's no bond or agreement between us but still! Really happy to have him here bc I trust him a lot, maybe more than I should.
Then we also have Johnny. He's the obvious threat of the game. He loves challenges and he is pretty darn strong socially too. I was very happy when he approached me with a ride or die deal. It's rlly good for my game at least for now because in order for me to reach far in this game I need to work with a lot of threatening people, if I vote all the out, it won't be a good look for me. Johnny also revealed a lot about who he knows before the game (i kinda knew of a lot of the info though bc i follow a lot of different orgs oops sidfashfd). But yeah! I think this round could start a beautiful partnership between us, I doubt that it will last until the end but it's great that it's a thing at least for now
Next up is Anabel. She is a sweetheart and I see a genuine opportunity to work with her in this game. She's innocent queen so far and I think she'd be loyal to her alliances, however I am also aware that she has crackhead tendencies so I just can't take her loyalty for granted. I rlly like talking to her tho so I think the more I talk to her the less likely it is for her to try to make a move one me? We'll see I guess but I just don't wanna blindly trust her.
Lastly, Lily. Ugh, a busy queen. I am very happy that we won the challenge because if not, there's high chance of her getting voted out of the game. She isn't as connected as the rest of us. The reason why I went so hard for the challenge was because I don't think its smart for my game to vote her out. I REALLY don't see her flipping on me and if she were to do it, I think she'd tell me about it which is the exact reason I want her to be in the game cuz I know I'm gnna need ppl who are v loyal to me. I also have worked a lot on trying to build a bond with her on a gameplay level too and so far so good, I'd say!
I think my position in this tribe is vvvvv good because of the randomly formed group of me Johnny and Anabel (although nobody talks in there, I take it as their sign of I want to work with you). Johnny also has the Ku advantage and while he says that it's nothing, I am not sure if I believe that. I doubt its an idol but I have a feeling that it could be something to help him in the game, yanno? I think that eventually he's gonna tell me though, yanno? Idk this is my random thoughts of the game. It's a blessing to be at confirmed F13 but there's long way to gooooo and I'm kinda here for it.  My predictions for the boots on the other tribes are Joey and Adam but we'll see what happens !
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Just won another challenge. Kinda wanted to go to tribal for this one so I could solidify some bonds with ppl but oh well. It could be worse. I could be going home this round lmao
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THIS. ROUND. WILL. BE. THE. DEATH. OF. ME! i feel like this round is gonna throw a major wrench in my game for the upcoming days because it's gonna show some people that i'm not as loyal as i say i am. adam and ian think i'm in an alliance with them and that is NOT the case! i feel more loyal to chloe and justin and think i can advantage further in the game with those two. adam and ian think we're all gonna be voting to evict justin, but when adam gets 3 of the votes and winds up going home, i don't think it's gonna be pretty. ian is gonna see that i was never loyal to him but WHATEVER! i had to do what i had to do and i had to lie to them to protect my own self this round! i didn't want them to flip the name around on me, because you never know what could happen in a game like survivor! so yes. me chloe and justin are in a serious alliance and we all plan on evicting adam. adam and ian think i'm in a serious alliance with them and are gonna be evicting justin. so.. this is gonna be another tribal council for the books of celestial i feel like.. so lets get ready and prepare for war! bring it gays.
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i honestly can't help but think the worse. yes, i trust chloe and justin 100% but.. justin seems to be stressed since adam and ian wanna vote him out. so justin can easily turn this around on me and tell adam and ian everything if he is LITERALLY worried about leaving. and chloe can just turn around and tell ian and adam what i'm doing if chloe wants me out. so yes. i trust them, but my mind can't stop thinking the worse. if chloe and/ or justin think i'm a threat in this game, they can turn this all around on me and vote me out since i'm doing the most here and lying my ass off to adam and ian and in an alliance chat with them right now. i'm worried, but i'm just gonna pray this all works out.
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https://youtu.be/P9aV81hAjZY
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https://youtu.be/0hB313P66RE
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Adam is voted out 3-2. Thomas is voted out 4-1 at double tribal.
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ravenvsfox · 7 years
Note
i know you probably have SO MANY prompts to do because theyre absolutely phenomenal...but when you get the chance could you write your prompt for #46 from Andrew's POV? i think you could do it so well and i would die.
(god... ‘phenomenal’ ur such a sweetheart! I don’t usually like to write the same scene twice so I rlly tried to make it as different as possible outside of dialogue hope it works 4 u xoxo)
Andrew wheels around in the search-light sweep of laser projectors, suddenly aware of his place in the thicket of heat-pressed bodies. He turns his back on Roland and Aaron talking over the bar, Kevin knocking back shots with a regularity that makes him look like he’s on some sort of mechanism.
Neil’s heat is gone from his side. If he’s the buoy that saves Neil from drowning, he’s lost him to the swallowing water again.
He’d had his hand knotted around Neil’s wrist as a security measure, but he’d slipped it. Escape artist, Andrew thinks. Runner.
It would be okay if Roland hadn’t been pouring him free shots for 2 hours, if Andrew hadn’t been indifferently nodding Neil on, privately curious to see what the alcohol might do.
Turns out it mostly flushed his fair cheeks and loosened his hands, made his eyes look curiously like the pupils had detached from the irises. And now he’s wandered off like an untrained dog.
The crowd is a dangerous, forgetful place, and Neil is bad at pretending not to be drunk.
Andrew leaves the bar with a sideways look at Roland. He’s always uneasy when his responsibilities are split like this: Aaron trying to keep up with Kevin’s alcoholic appetite, Nicky long since disappeared onto the dance floor, Neil holding his liquor like a newborn.
He sidesteps a drunken bachelorette conga line, sweeping the room in uneven loops. Drunk people are unpredictable people, and Neil’s slippery on a good day. He can’t spot his familiar auburn head in the throng, and the lights warp and dull his colouring anyway.
He rounds back to Aaron and Kevin, watching them droop and laugh, and then he makes for the bathroom.
He’s just in time to watch Nicky and Neil topple into the bathroom counter, his cousin’s hands displaced from Neil’s narrow waist.
“Why do bad things always happen to me?” Neil says, the hand holding his weight up moving absently over the wall. He’d laugh, if he laughed, at Neil’s dramatic intonation, his body bobbing as if on water, his shoulders unselfconsciously back.
“You’ve got a mouth that gets you into trouble,” he says. Neil almost slips in his haste to turn around, his whole face twisting up even as Nicky has to re-steady him, huffing. Andrew’s chest throbs. “And you can’t hold your liquor.” He wedges his hands under Nicky’s and pops them off of Neil’s body.
Nicky knows better by now than to overstep with neil, and Andrew steps forward to remind him — but Neil stumbles suddenly, Andrew has to sidestep to catch him.
“Were you looking for me?” Neil asks, crowding into Andrew’s space with his breath moist and boozy on his face. He slips his hand up to cup Andrew’s neck, thumbing his pulse like a habit. Andrew watches Nicky so he won’t watch Neil; if the feel of him is too much, the sight of him is always worse. He has to get out of this bathroom.
He waves Nicky out of his way, a noisy obstacle in a maze made more difficult by Neil necklaced around him.
“You’re so strong,” Neil says. “Nothing can move you.” Andrew stomachs that for a minute, and Nicky laughs obnoxiously behind them. Andrew’s hand flexes on Neil’s hip as he rounds on Nicky. He says his name once, warning, and Nicky raises his hands in surrender.
“Hey, hey, wait, I don’t want to get in the way of all that raw, masculine strength—“ he mocks, dancing backwards and out the door when Andrew swings at him with an open hand. He has to tell each finger individually to fold back into his fist. He’s so tense along the line of his back that you could probably chop wood with his shoulder blades.
Neil’s still pawing at him, saying, “wait, that wasn’t a joke. You’re—“ he looks into and past Andrew’s eyes. “Hey remember when the Ravens took 150 shots on goal and you embarrassed them?” He remembers, because he always remembers, and he also knows it was a lost game for the foxes. It only mattered to Andrew, for a moment, because it mattered to Neil.
Neil makes grabbing Andrew for balance look like a calculated, intimate move, and he’s breathing Andrew’s breath when he says: “watching you… I’ve never felt anything like it.”
Andrew puts as much space between them as he can while still holding Neil upright. He wants to prop Neil on the bathroom counter and walk away. He wants to funnel the alcohol directly from his veins so he can kiss his mouth.
“You’re drunk.”
“I’m right,” Neil says instantly. Andrew suspects those words are always on the cusp of being said, with Neil. “I’m always right.” Andrew gives him a scathing look, an eye roll too lazy to do any actual rolling.
“You always think you are.” He tries to wrangle Neil’s limbs into some kind of order, and Neil keeps undoing his progress.
“You won’t kiss me in front of them.”
“I won’t kiss you at all,” Andrew says. Neil’s mouth is messy and half open like he’s seconds from arguing or leaning in. It’s a frustratingly unselfconscious look on Neil, who is always applying his facial expressions as disguises. “I will leave you on the floor in a club bathroom.” He probably won’t. But if he did it would solve the host of problems constantly hanging over his head like tempting, bruised fruit.
They finally come out of the doorway of the bathroom and into the humid body of the club. Neil’s supporting his own weight, but with the backward tilt of someone whose internal compass is two degrees off.
“Andrew,” he says, and Andrew stops tugging him along. He hates that he’ll do whatever Neil says, whatever he doesn’t even have to say. “I don’t want to be drunk anymore.”
He falls, cut at the knees like he’s been hit. Andrew lunges for him and gets a fistful of shirt and hair just before impact. He lowers him the last two inches to the floor, hands clenching all over Neil. He takes them away and there’s blood, suddenly, a sticky bridge between his hand and Neil’s scalp.
He looks down at him, seething, walking hands over the rest of him in search of injury. He finds a smashed fist he can’t believe he didn’t notice, and a bruise trying to eat his hip.
“I hit my head, earlier,” Neil says, explaining absolutely nothing. He laughs and grins and hooks his own fingers in the smile to get rid of it. Andrew pulls it all apart — hand from smile, smile from mouth, holding Neil’s face by the jaw until it relaxes in his palm.
“You’re a mess,” Andrew tells him, still holding him together.
“I’ve heard that one before,” Neil says, sounding curiously sober as he loops himself around Andrew and stands.
“It always applies.”
“And yet, here you are. Cleaning me up,” he says, too close to look at directly again.
“I preferred you when you refused to drink.” He remembers pouring shots for Neil and watching him for a nod or a yes that never came. He remembers Neil’s strange complex about drugs and alcohol, his old off-centre way of choosing which crimes were excusable.
He pushes Neil up against the nearest wall, watching the way the alcohol plays with his mouth and eyes, not really liking it.
“When I was more secrets than person?” Neil whispers.
“When you were quiet,” Andrew snaps, splaying a hand over Neil’s chest and stepping back, watching the bar slosh, looking out for familiar blond or towering muscle.
“Never happened,” Neil’s saying, laughing a little, and Andrew digs his fingers into Neil’s chest, a little bit warning, a little agreeing. He feels Neil go soft under his hand, reaching up to twist his fingers in Andrew’s.
“Hey. I trust you.”
Andrew’s still looking into the crowd, but Neil’s voice is torn open, and it feels like Andrew’s touching his cracked chest, blood and ribs at his fingertips. “You’re still drunk. And a poor judge of character.”
“If it makes you feel better.”
He looks back at Neil, wanting to feed him a percentage or cut him off with an insult, wanting to stop this particular bud before it can grow. But then Aaron walks up, and Andrew’s eyes go to him instead.
“We’re leaving. Nicky got into a fight with some guy and Roland had to sneak him out the back.”
Andrew’s world shifts, and it’s only then that he realizes it had been facing towards Neil. Anger pinches his veins. He isn’t covering enough ground lately — he’s spread too thin because he’s giving 80% of himself to Neil. You’re negligent, he thinks. You’re as unbalanced as everyone’s always said.
“Nicky got in a fight?” Neil asks as Roland and Kevin come up, glancing at each other with a fresh camaraderie that Andrew doesn’t like at all.
Roland must catch Andrew’s expression because he raises a placating hand. “Some homophobe in a snapback. It’s fine.” He reaches for Andrew and Andrew bodily steps out of his grip, his ears ringing at the thought of skin to skin contact. “He’s long gone, Drew,” Roland says, trying to help like aiming a bow at a target and hitting the ground right in front of him instead. “We got him. Focus on your boy.”
Andrew knows without looking how Neil is reacting to that comment, because it’s strange and frequent how Neil’s outsides match Andrew’s insides.
“I’m fine.”
“I bet. Can’t fool the guy pouring your drinks for you.” He ruffles Neil’s hair. Andrew wrestles with frustration so deep and unspoken that it’s lapping at the back of his throat.
“We should go,” Kevin says, and something skewed and impatient lances through Andrew at the suggestion. 
He spent too much time talking Neil down in the bathroom. Neil is a dirty move in a fight Andrew’s been in for as long as he can remember — a flashy distraction that knocked Andrew back.
They pile out of the club through the back, walking back to the car at Andrew’s pace. Kevin’s dragging Neil or vice versa, and Aaron’s walking apart from them, posture too high up in his shoulders to be convincingly sober.
They find Nicky in the car looking grim for trying so hard not to. Andrew grabs him by the shoulders and pats him down, and Nicky looks touched enough that he doesn’t crack any jokes.
Andrew spends the drive home strategizing, telling himself furiously that Neil shouldn’t get a tier of his own. He needs to hold him at arms length before he loses sight of things that have mattered for longer.
They reach the house and three fifths of the car find their sloppy way inside. Andrew watches them to make sure the door gets closed, ignoring Neil’s eyes flitting to and away from him.
His eyes finally slide over to Neil’s reflection. The usual firm set of his mouth is back, but his eyes are still overly wide, like he’s surprised to see himself. He catches Andrew’s gaze and smiles, and Andrew’s already finished with whatever Neil’s about to say, he’s already planning tomorrow morning, something viable, doable. Everything under one roof. Him and Neil in one shower. Hot chocolate in the kitchen.
“You’re a terrible drunk,” Andrew says, because it’s the thing that’s been backing him into corners all night.
“I haven’t had much practice.”
Andrew’s eyes wander from the reflection to Neil’s actual face. His burns are caught in the moonlight like something glossy, cling wrap stretched over cheekbone. “There’s a reason for that. You’ve got a big mouth.”
Neil smiles. “You seem to have a fixation on my mouth.” He leans in, and Andrew wants it, stupidly. He shoves Neil back to his side of the car with a hand over the burns he’d been ogling.
“You seem to be under some delusions.”
“It’s just that I’m a neck man, myself,” Neil says, voice topped up with laughter. Andrew gets out of the car without hesitation, slamming it so he can avoid whatever Neil says next.
He still hears it though, raised to reach him halfway to the door. “I know it’s been a tense night, Drew,” Neil says, and catches up to sidestep in front of Andrew, sober enough now to walk backwards all the way to the porch. “But I’m still waiting to be kissed.”
Andrew feels a full body flash of irritation that he can’t be. He shrugs Neil off and walks through the front door. “Sober up.”
Inside, he walks the length of the house twice, restlessly. He opens doors to find Kevin asleep with his shirt halfway off his arms, Aaron having a stare-off with his reflection, Nicky lit up by the glow of his phone, speaking softly in german.
He strips Eden’s Twilight off and takes a 5 AM shower with his mouth parted against the spray. There’s an itch in his lungs that might be for a cigarette or might be for something else entirely.
He goes through the motions of pulling on sweats and armbands almost spitefully slow, tucking his cigarettes into his sleeve and padding out into the hallway. The moon panels the carpet with ghostly swatches, the wall clock counts his steps.
He watches Neil outside the screen door, tracking his hands folding around his knees, his feet scuffing the pavement. He looks for signs that he’s still drunk and gets distracted by the unmarred line of his neck.
He goes out to sit on the stoop with him and lets himself pretend to smoke for long enough that Neil is morning warm when he leans in to kiss him.
(He lets himself acknowledge that Neil isn’t a distraction — he’s a debilitating move. He’s the strike that knocks Andrew to the ground.)
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