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#theyre Fucking Gay your honour
adharastarlight · 6 months
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Remus: awwww, reg you have a diary???
Reg: no no, don't read that-
Sirius snatches it: Ooooo you have a crush??? Who's JP??? Tell me tell meeee
Reg: ...no one
James Oblivious Potter: isn't that some hufflepuff?
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pl4st1c---h34rt · 2 years
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My family and friends: its been 10 years...its just a show please...move on
Me in 2032 rambling on about how i was queerbaited and how poorly written stranger things s4 v2 was: but the duffers said they would adress wills sexuality :(
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tsukishimass · 2 years
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harry august and vincent rankis are so fucking gay for each other what the fuCK
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bestpigeon · 2 months
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THE FALLEN ONE
LUCIFER X MALE READER
You, an angel, betrayed heaven and refused to kill demons. How will this go?
Words- 1.4k
Warnings- swearing, gore, fighting, gay
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It was extermination day. How exciting.  The truth is, i genrally despise extermination day. We get sent down to hell to kill souls. yeah, theyre evil and in the pits of hell for a reasom. however i dont believe that its the right thing to do. i mean, its still souls were killing. They dont deserve death. Were not very angelic if were killing souls? For what, so they wont revolt? They will anyways.
Adam was giving us a pep talk. I was on the front lines since im a worthy soldier. Adam was talking, shouting, about Vaggie. Vaggie betrayed us ages ago, Lutes long life plan is to kill her and rip out her other eyes or something. I sniker at the thought and i get a large death stare from Lute. Adam then shouts something that i didnt care enough to listen and everyone started charging through the portal and into hell. I fly down into the dome that some percular demon had created. It was all green and weird.
I land and look at the other angels either killing canibals, or getting killed themself. i scurry into a corner and hide near some broken rubble. I suddenly hear a chuckle. i whip my head in panic to.. shit, Lute.
"well well well. Really thought youd slack and get away with it?! this isnt the first time ive.. caught you avoiding battle." she says as she chuckles at my patheticness.
I roll my eyes and stand up. I flap my beautiful and delicate white angelic wings behind me. I turn my mask to face Lute.
"what? all to join in on killing souls? They arent innocent, yeah, but.. they dont deserve this-" i say before getting lunged at. Lute jumps ontop of me and we tumble backwards. I groan in agony and annoyance
"your so fucking pathetic. how about you join Vaggie? You and that bitch can rot down here. Worthless fu-" she says as she grits her teeth. I interup her by thrusting her off my lap and kicking her aggressivly with my legs. I stand up and point my spear at her.
"i am NOT going to join in with this shit anymore! you will not control me like the freak you are" I say as i squint my eyes under my mask. I didnt want to be controlled like a peasent, a doll, a puppet. Not anymore.
She laughs and stand up clearly pissed. She glares at me before thrusting her spear near my stomach. Like the trained angel fighter i am, i quickly dodge it easily. We fight back and back for a while. Both throwing some degrading. Some Lunges, spear attacks, grunting later, Lute has me pinned to the floor with a spear aimed at my head. I look up at her with nothing but hate and anger.
"Fucking kill me- Just like you did to Vag-" I say in anger, before getting interupted with a spear being jabbed into my leg. I scream out in pain as the angelic spear peirces the flesh on my leg.
"Yeah, us angels kill pathetic souls like you. People who dont deserve life, or the honourous position your in" She says as she lifts her spear up, prepaired to finish me off, finally. Then, out of the blue, Lute gets blasted with angelic power. I flinch and cover my face in worry. It was another angel, so i thought. Until i looked up and saw the King of hell himself. I leaned on the floor on my elbows before quickly pulling myself backwards. It was..over? All the angels were leaving, going back to heaven, including Lute.
Lucifer approaches me and knees beside me, he glares at my with symapthy. My mask was half cracked, you could see half of my face. "you alright kid?" he says as i looks down at my legs.
"um..yeah, im alright apart from the yknow, big slash in my leg-" I say before i clear my throat.
"why did you help me? Im an angelic warrior, im on the other side..?" I say confused as i cock up an eyebrow. Lucifer chuckles and smiles warmly. I thought it was a big perculiar, i mean demons being nice?
"I couldnt help but overhear your conversation while fighting Adam, by the way i absolutly destroyed Adam- anyways, your not like the other angels." He says as adjusts his beautiful white and red wings behind him. Though his wings were like mine, they still were different. More majestic i should say.
"mh..yeah well i dont agree with the extermination.. yknow? killing innocent- well not innocent, but killing souls in genral.. its, not something us angels should do." I say, as i spoke i kept eye contact the whole time. I could see the visible change in Lucifers expression. It seemed to soften, he clearly shared the same opinions as me.
"right, exactly the reason i saved you. You think like a real angel. well, now your in hell, but..better then death, right?" I coudnt help but notice he started to move his arms, one around my lefs anad the other around my back. He, bridal style, picked me up and held me in his arms. I gasp and i tense slightly. I glare up at him and he smiles at me before bringing me to the other demons.
He puts his hand on my leg and heals it, he closes his eyes as he does so. I couldnt help but realise how pretty he was. I blush at the thought before he puts my down on the floor. I smile when i realise my leg was healed finally.
"thank you" I say quietly. I see a collection of other demons looking at me weirdly, i dont blame them, im meant to be trying to kill them afterall. I smile awkwardly before Lucifer wraps his arm around my neck and pulls my to the group of demons. Some blonde demon approached me, her name was Charlie, Lucifers daughter.
"hey..? dad why is there an angel here?" she questions as she steps a step infront of me and twists her head. I look at her awkwardly and i cant help but notice vaggies peircing eyes stare aggressivly at me.
"um..im joining you? i guess? i betrayed the angels. Its just..not right to kill souls without reason." I say, i see Charlies face light up slightly. I feel Lucifers hands go onto my shoudlers.
"See Char Char! Hes on our side." He says i blush slightly when he gets really close, he leaned his head near my shoulder. Vaggies feirce appearence calmed slightly, though it was clear shes still on edge.
"oh! well hi! Its nice to meet you! Its amazing when we have other members of the Hazbin Hotel!" She says before she hugs me. I gasp when she lunges towards me and i flinch, my eyebrows lift in confusion but i hugged back soon as later. I didnt think kind souls existed in hell, maybe it isnt that bad?
I smile awkwardly. "Thank you- i appriciate it" I say as Charlie steps back and smiles at Vaggie. I notice the other demons were just doing whatever, mainly chatting and laughing together. I cant help but smile. Demons arnt that bad?
I feel the hands on my shoulders move and turn me around. I glare down at Lucifer, huh, didnt know he was that short.
"Are you all healed?" He says as he touches my waist and stomach to check if i was okay. I blush slighty and chuckle awkwardly. "yeah- yeah im fine your majesty"
"please, its Lucifer, and im glad your alright." He says as he smiles warmly at me, i return the smile.
"They might take a while, but they should warm up. Angels dont do well round here, but they will adjust." He says as he smiles. His hands were still on my shoulders.
"alright, im thankful still, thanks for helping me. Lute would have killed back there." I say smiling at him. He chuckles before walking towards his daughter.
I watch as he leaves. My thoughs are bombarded with all different things. Am i in the Hazbin hotel now? Hell can be nice? Well somewhat, i mean, i did nearly die down here.
Maybe, just maybe hell isn't too bad? My thoughts get interrupted by a huge explosion behind me, i turn to see a few demons ripping an angels wings to death. I squint in disgust, realising i should get us to that. Other than that, this couldn't be that bad.. I might even like it here.
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Mechs Ships Tournament: Shipping Round 5 Poll 2
Propaganda:
Arthur/Gwen/Lancelot:
that one post where its like theyre the us government but if it actually did whst it said it did. three different people of equal power keeping each other in check. also they aLMOST SAVED THE STATION WITH THE POWEROF LOVE [Pollrunner's note: post here]
POLYAMORY
I just love them a lot and blood and whiskey is so good and ”maybe just this once there could be a happy ending” makes me cry every time 
blood and whistey
the track where they decide
Polymechs:
They're inseparable they hate each other they would die for each other they actively enjoy killing each other ect ect ect
Look they're immortal and stuck in a spaceship you don't think they've hit all possible combinations over the years and settled into a weird comfortable vibe you can only get if youve murdered, been murdered, and had sex with every one (maybe minus nastya) of your friends?
immortal space pirats.... cuddle piles, romantic... not romanticm... poly mechs <3
(Points to every album) there thats my propaganda. But in all seriousness they are a group of immortals with nothing to do but sing and love each other in their own fucked up ways <3 
Chaotic little guys on a ship for a long time, the relationship web they got going on could rival the coven web
you cant tell me you would live with people for millions of years without it getting even a little gay.
Polygamy
when you spend millennia doing music and violence and shenanigans with the same 8 other people on a ship (and when the ship is technically another person), there's bound to be some group canoodling
i care them
they're everything to each other!!!
i refuse to pick
it’s polymechs!! what isn’t to love
Look at them.
how could you pick individual ships when they are so good together!! with the exception of nastya + jonny cos they are siblings your honour.
a lot of people have polymechs with her and aurora being monogamous but she canonically has queer orgies. on mechs tumblr account she describes herself as "The only one seemingly capable of a committed, responsible and fair relationship" so polymechs with all of relationships besides nastyaurora being on and off and everchanging is both the best polymechs and the most canon compliant polymechs to me
The idea that they're crewmates. You ask one of them what their relationship is with another and they say, "That's my crewmate". And then, maybe one of them meets someone on another ship, and they mention they don't have strong feelings about someone because, "they're only my crewmate" And they just cannot comprehend the idea of being crewmates with someone and not having strong feelings about them. They're immortal and half of them hate life, but even if that wasn't true, they'd die for any of the others a million times over. They've murdered billions of people on a whim, but even if that wasn't true, they'd murder anyone if it made one of their crewmate's lives a bit better. Remember how Tim blew up a moon for Bertie? He had only known Bertie for about 10 years. What would he do for people he had known for about 10 millennia? What would Ashes do for the people who would never betray them? What would Nastya do for the people who would always spend time with her and never die? What would Brian do for the people who would always forgive him for following his beliefs? What would Raphaella do for the people who are always willing to help her with her experiments? What would Ivy do for the people who'd always stay and tell their stories? What would the Toy Soldier do for the people who only ordered it to do what it wants to do and always lets it be involved? What would Jonny do for the people he could never permanently hurt? What would Marius do for his family? They all love each other more than anything, even if they don't have the words for it. (via @mchasmfiend)
Other Poll This Round Here :)
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majorbaby · 1 month
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I don't mean to be rude or offensive, I'm really just curious, are there any m/f ships you really like in mash or other fandoms?
oh that's not offensive in the least. i think what can get grating is when people are rude about "everything being about gay ships all the time" when i've made it pretty clear that there's a lot of gay stuff on my blog and if someone doesn't like it they can avoid me pretty easily.
so, a few things: 1) i'm relatively new to shipping and it doesn't rank high for me amongst things that draw me into a narrative or fandom - i am not dedicated to many ships in general.
2) even if i can logically 'see' a ship, i like to write smut so if i'm not turned on by the idea of these people fucking then i won't have more than a passing interest in them as a ship. i can be into a fic that uses sex to explore a dynamic without being into the sex itself, but it's not where the majority of my time is spent. that said, i've been in this MASH box so long I've produced fic i would've never dreamed of writing when i first started the show. see: infinite monkey theorum for why that might be lol.
in general, i wouldn’t say gender affects what appeals to me in a ship or a character. i like traphawk because of the nature of their relationship, not specifically because theyre both men, although in their case, the two of them being each other’s non trad partners is relevant to the anti-establishmentarian themes of the show. I dont think it would be half as effective, and therefore as impactful on me, if they were a het ship. their joint commitment to being little shits is why i love them so much together.
ANYWAY to actually answer your question: yes
within MASH i'm really into: margaret/trapper, ginger/trapper, almost any threesome with hawk/trap + a lady friend, hawkeye/kyungsoon
passing interest in: trapper/louise, hawkeye/margaret, hawkeye/bigelowe, hawkeye/carlye, klinger/soon lee, frank/margaret, ginger/oliver
highly situational crackships: trapper/carlye, BJ/aggie, hawkeye/kellye, trapper/kellye, hawkeye/peg hunnicutt
other het ships i'm into to varying degrees from very popular fandoms: katara/zuko (atla), rose/nine (dw), ten/martha (dw), ten/rose (dw), roy/riza (fma), batman/wonder woman (dc comics), nightwing/batgirl (dc comics), ollie/dinah (dc comics), rogue/gambit (marvel comics), han/leia (star wars)
... altho now that i think of it, the caveat with most of these is that with the exception of roy/riza, i don't think i endgame ship any of these. i won't not read a fic that implies they're endgame, i just don't think i really "OTP" any of these, I just enjoy them for various reasons.
honourable mention: mulder/scully - have not seen the x-files but i believe in them.
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go-to-the-mirror · 1 year
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i think it's absolutely rigged that this episode falls on april fools day actually. APRIL FOOLS! everything is still awful actually
Hi howdy this episode is so sad :( I'm so sad constantly about this episode. this episode. :( can't wait until the FUN season 5 bits where it's like they're GAY and there are so many ANALOGIES! instead we just have to wallow in sadness for a bit. so upset!! aa!!
Anyway yeah, lets go. I think when I listened to it at first I was really upset that I was at the end, like I was thinking "oh no I'm nearly at the end" back with 151. I still haven't listened to goodbye for now because it just makes me really sad that my favourite podded cast is over. I mean, good thing it's not now, but I still don't think I can make myself listen to it. I did put off MAG 200 for a while, and then when I actually did listen to it I immediately read Citrus' (CirrusGrey) fics about it.
Which, speaking of, it's season 5 time!!! Fuck dude it sure is! Not only a relisten, but a reread of all Citrus' fantastic fics!! YEAH!!! Ok, ok, ok, getting on with it now.
@a-mag-a-day
MARTIN You had- rum and raisin, and taught us all about emulsifiers.
He has the ice cream taste of a grandmother. Oh, also, funny story. So, we were getting ice cream, right, and I saw rum and raisin, and I got really upset, because Jon Sims had rum and raisin ice cream, and also the world ended. I don't- everything is a TMA reference with me, once someone asked me to open the door and I started laughing, because Jon Sims opened a door.
It's... very... odd.
JONAH MAGNUS (AS ELIAS) Knock knock.
Killing and maiming. I hate him so much. Die. Fucking die.
JONAH He didn’t have to. Nothing escapes my notice, and I like to keep an eye out for this sort of thing.
This guy is COMICALLY evil. like, not only does he end the world, but he ruins a cake surprise? why is he such a bastard?
ARCHIVIST Uh- thirty-eight.
HE JUST ADDED TEN YEARS ONTO HIS AGE HE'S SO FUCKING STUPID <3
TIM, SASHA, MARTIN (Crosstalk) -Jon. JONAH (Crosstalk) -Archivist.
WHY??? Literally, like, why, why, why is he like this, why, why??? Why did he do that? Why is he such an asshole? Why.
Why.
why.
ARCHIVIST If I wish for you all to go away, do you think it’ll work?
WHY ARE WE GETTING HIT WITH THE DRAMATIC IRONY BUS? WHY? "If I wish for you all to go away, do you think it'll work" STOP NO, WHY, WHYYYY...
it just makes me really sad.
ARCHIVIST I can’t tell you.
Your honour I am holding him gently.
JONAH He wished for a little bit of peace and quiet.
It's one thing to manipulate someone into ending the world, it's quite another to SHARE THEIR WISH? Dude. Why is he like this? This does nothing for him? He has taken one of Jon's only happy memories from working at the hell that's called an archive and twisted it into "oh boy, look at all that pain." For no fucking reason except to be evil. Killing and murder.
MARTIN Oh! Uh, (slight laugh) I mean- I don’t- normally- drink wine, you know- t-tannins are a proven headache trigger, and so-
Ooh! Fun fact! Rooibos tea has low tannin compared to other tea, therefore, Martin drinks rooibos tea, I make the rules.
TIM Oh! Yeah! I- just thought it might be nice, you know, something to look back on when we’re all old and sick of each other.
WHY. WHY. WHY.
"When we're all old and sick of each other" THEYRE NEVER GONNA GET OLD AND SICK OF EACH OTHER THEYRE ALL GOING TO DIE. THEYRE ALREADY DEAD AND THEY DONT EVEN KNOW IT. IM GOING TO CRY NOW.
ARCHIVIST (Crosstalk) (Under his breath) Oh, hypocrite.
I hate that it sounds friendly, like they're getting annoyed at each other in a friendly way, that Jon is friends with Tim and Sasha. Hate it. So much. Headinhands.
TIM (Crosstalk) Alright, alright, fine, look. I’m turning it off. Any last words for your future selves? ARCHIVIST Yes. Fire Tim!
ARHRRHGGGHGH </3
[Pause with clothing rustles]
CLOTHING RUSTLES!!!!! 🏳️‍🌈
ARCHIVIST It’s not- (struggling) you’re not the one who ended the world. (Archivist breath shows he’s close to tears)
Oh my god leave me alone. Stop it! Stop it!! It's just. Like. Christ. Oh my god. Oh my god. I can't even word properly, I just want to give him a hug, I just want him to be okay. Fuck, dude.
Why's jonny such a good voice actorrrr :(
MARTIN Are we still safe? ARCHIVIST Y-Yes. It- It doesn’t want to harm me. MARTIN And me? ARCHIVIST I won’t let it.
I like the way Jon's voice is in the "it doesn't want to harm me." Like it's sort of vaguely hysterical.
ARCHIVIST I’m just- I’m mourning a world I killed- MARTIN (Placating) I know- ARCHIVIST (Increasingly fervent) and we’re all trapped in its rotting corpse!-
I like this bit a lot. I think it's neat. I'm gay and I like rot. I need to read... what was it, thirteen stories I think? That's got the rot. I like the rot. 10/10 on the rot. Like hnmmn what Jane Prentiss says about the dead god, a world that was alive, was sentient, now dead, rotting with maggots and flies all over it, flesh squishy and yielding but also firm at the same time like a bruised apple, trapped on an actually dead corpse of a world.
That would be neat!!
ARCHIVIST Can you imagine? If we’d had this? MARTIN But we didn’t though, did we. ARCHIVIST No— MARTIN So there’s no point in dwelling.
ooOOOoooh title drop
but also... </3 like he could have kept them. he could have not done that. he could have not put the fucking solution to everything right after it becomes moot.
stabbing.
ARCHIVIST Healthy? I am an Avatar of voyeuristic terror, who unquestioned craving for knowledge has condemned the entire world to an eternity of torment; healthy i-isn’t- i,it’s not
I've written this so much on like every test, it lives in my mind rent free, it's hhnrnhrnnh holding it gently <3 like i don't even know what to say, this is a far cry from the whole mag 160 thing where it lived in my head rent free and so does a lot of words about it, here it's just... a lot of reaction images.
ARCHIVIST Why not? It- It’s quiet, here, and I have you.
ARHGHHGHHH
<333
ARCHIVIST No, it’s- I love you, I just— I need more time.
headinhands (good)
AND ALRIGHT CITRUS' FIC FOR TODAY IS SEVEN SLEEPS! WHICH I REALLY LIKE IT AND ITS JUST LIKE ITS JUST LIKE I KNEW WHAT I WAS SIGNING UP FOR, I KNEW WHAT THE OUTCOME WOULD BE, I KNEW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN. and like the whole bloody season it's just like it's just :( CITRUS ::::(((
read it. it's so good.
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afunfunkytime · 1 year
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sippi hcs because im procrastinating and brainrotting him so hard rn i wanna kiss him so bad also it's his birthday
happy birthday my beloved magnolia
ANYWAY
-makes the prettiest most delicate looking pies. like they real pretty. fancy flower designs on top made out of pastry. so beautiful.
-obsession with dressing up teddy bears in funky lil outfits. they sit on a shelf in his bedroom and stare menacingly. he loves them. they all have names. he makes most of them himself but his friends give him many plushie gifts.
-wears socks and sandals sometimes
-the fucking king of bubble baths, he loves his bath supplies. mans favourite activity is just relaxing in THE most aesthetically pleasing bubble bath of all time. he has his scented candles, his soft classical music, a glass of wine or seven. bliss.
-owns foxes! the red fox is one of his state animals so i like to imagine he rescues foxes that can't be rewilded and nurses them back to health or simply takes care of them. they're all named after types of magnolia. they are his babies.
-really good at storytelling. like. REALLY good. he gets really into it and does a bunch of voices for different characters, mans has the Muppets he can totally do this, he doesn't speak up very often to tell stories but when he does? enthralled.
-pretty much a disney princess. animals love him. mans can pet wild animals. he doesn't do it often because Respect Nature but mans will pick up hurt animals to take them to a vet because he can.
-owns many fancy ducks. he has the coolest duck as his state waterfowl, mans loves a fancy lookin duck. theyre all named after plants
-speaking of plants, he's a total dork about plants. HUGE nerd. physically cannot shut up about plants. he gets very excited when he sees a plant he hasn't seen before, takes pictures and stores em in a scrapbook for plants he has. owns MANY houseplants. his garden is BEAUTIFUL. flowers and trees of many different types, he grows all his own fruit and vegetables, he loves plants. so much.
-incredible at ballet. he's been dancing for almost two centuries, he's very talented and makes it look easy. he's performed in many ballets, and the south always comes to his performances to give him flowers and compliments.
-baking is his passion. mans has a huge sweet tooth and spends a lot of his free time baking with equally as much of a baking nerd, Alabama. he makes some good fuckin desserts, he usually gives these to friends as gifts but mans keeps a few for himself. as a treat.
-despite not really being known for it, sippi can figure skate. he likes swirly twirly sports. if he can spin and look pretty? hes in.
-gay.
-very gay.
-hopeless romantic. daydreams about kissing his crush under the stars. sadly he is bitchless.
-hella muscular, hella squishy. your honour he is THICCC. not an exaggeration. he looks soft and cute because he is soft and cute, until he flexes, then he looks like he could fuck you up. mans has those pinchable cheeks, grandmas love him. very strong arms and legs because ballet but he has squishy thighs and soft stomach. the missititties are fantastic. i hc him as a bit overweight. kneading him like bread dough rn. he is a BEAR.
-puts the ass in landmass, lord this man is caked up
-PUT HIM IN A DRESS. A SOFT PRETTY DRESS WITH A FLOWY SKIRT PERFECT FOR TWIRLING. PUT HIM IN IT.
-enjoys flower pressing. mans has a little book with dried flowers in it. it's very relaxing.
-fuckin angelic singing voice. could be a mermaid if he wanted to be.
-stretch marks. because they're cute.
-cannot drive for shit. his truck is 73% duct tape. is not allowed to drive with other people in the car because he is terrifying. speed limits are a suggestion. mans is going sonic speeds down those country roads.
-covered in freckles. button nose. dimples when he smiles. has many scars.
-cries over sad songs and pictures of kittens.
-gives his friends bouquets with sweet meanings, mans speaks flower language.
-the KING of flower crowns. mans is always wearing one, he makes them so intricate and detailed and he loves doing it. gives all his friends loving flower crowns.
-has a magnolia sleeve tattoo because magnolias symbolise perseverance and mans has been through some shit.
-vegetarian 2x a week
-nerd. has cute glasses because he highkey can't see.
-THE prettiest eyes. ethereal. enchanting. crystalline blue.
-works as a weatherman and LOVES it. aside from when he gets called landmass.
-definitely a storm chaser
-bama calls him Maggie, short for Magnolia
-everyone has a different nickname for him. sippi, missy, sips, magnolia, miss, maggie, miso, misosouppi, souppi, sippo, missis, the list is endless
-incredible hugger. he's chubby and warm and smells like magnolias and baking, and he has titties you can bury your face in. he's perfect. and very touch starved. will ruffle other states hair.
I love him your honour. He is my darling magnolia. I want to kiss him.
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thefinalvoid · 1 year
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I binged all of s3. Your honour theyre gay as fuck.
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pl4st1c---h34rt · 2 years
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Me: i ship everyone :) Steddie, ronance, blyer, lumax/mucas elmax and chreddie :)) so because of that im happy with whoever ends up with whoever.
The duffer brothers: what about mileven Stancy and jancy?
Me: ...
Them: Great! Lets use your other ships such as blyer and ronance and make them seem real and then just obliterate your dreams :)
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pan-fried-autism · 5 months
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nikolai gets fired 3: fucka da government!!!
@bowlerhatwearer if you arent on the edge of your seat while reading this im flying out to austria city or whatever to throw pebbles at your house. ok :3
nikolai and grem were sat in the court of silverport city.
"all rise for the honourable judge pratt" said some guy.
everyone stood up as chris pratt in a judge wig sat up at the fuckin. judge stand thing. idk what its called.
"alright, losers, whats the problem" he said in that classic whte guy voice
nikolye stood up, looking like a smug dickhead in his southern lawyer getup.
"Catboy and Lame-o over there are being divorced by me, and yet theyre still being married." he boomed, pointing at the duo.
"so what are we doing today?"
"what we are doing," said chris hemsworth, grem and niks lawyer, "is deciding whether they should remain gay married, get gay divorced...
... or go to JAIL."
dun dun dun!
chris pratt shrugged, saying "okay lol. now will the plaintiff come to the stand."
nikolye swaggered up to the stand.
"do you swear to tell the truth, the truth, and the truth?" asked chris(topher) walken, who had become a pig.
"no." replied nikolye.
"thats fair"
nikolye began.
"well after i fired the lame defendant from his self employed job, i remembered that hes married to the cute i mean idiot dumb catboy defendant, which reminded me of... the past."
a single tear ran down his face, but nikolye took out his custom painted Desert Eagle and pistol whipped it away. he continued.
"anyway i didnt like it, so i collaborated with the VERY HONOURABLE missoury court system to divorce them, and sent them a polite letter telling them so. however, these BUTTHEADS wouldnt listen :("
everyone went "aww :(" at evil nikolai/nikolye's sad story. except grem and nik who were flipping him off.
"now, will the catboy come to the stand?" asked chris pratt.
"i have a name ya know" grem hissed as he went up to the stand. he also pushed over christopher walken.
"your honour", grem stated, "i'd like to make it clear to the court that me and my Nik-Nik can't get gay divorced because we are not in a gay marriage. case closed."
chris pratt blinked at them. "arent you both guys?"
"uh, yeah? but just because we're men who married each other, doesnt mean it's gay."
"could you explained to the court what that means?" asked chris evans, nikolye's lawyer.
"yeah. its not gay because neither me nor nikolai is gay."
pratt just stared down at the cat, deadpanning, "... mr akdow-mewton, i dont see how all that is relevant."
"i dont see how you got cast as mario."
pratt gasped in shock! "you take that back!!!!"
Nikolai had to hold himself back from facepalming as grem argued with judge pratt.
chris hemsworth was unable to hold himself back. as he facepalmed, he whispered to nikolai, "we're fucked, bro."
eventually chris pratt started throwing a tantrum and hit grem on the head with a gavel.
"get the hell back in your seat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled.
grem jumped back to his seat, where he made the rizz face @ nikolai.
chris pratt cleared his throat and dried his wet eyes before he start talking normally again.
"well, after mr akdow-mewton hurt my feewings like that, i must admit im INCREDIBLY skewed towards mr nikolye bad-dow in this case..."
grem and nik hugged each other in fear.
"... but, perhaps, the lame defendant could help?"
nik stood up and took a deep breath. he had to try,
he got up to the stand and cleared his throat and spoke,
"you're honoure.... i know this man is technically me, but that give him no right to split me and my beloved strawberry up. in fact, NOBODY but us has the right to do that. the government hates the little people trying to live their lives, and you're interfering in my relationship! me and grem have a bond that goes beyond love... beyond marriage, probably! if one goes down, THE OTHER GOES WITH HIM!!!!!"
the courtroom was silent.
then the courtroom erupted in applause.
chris pratt slammed the gavel and happily announced, "i pronouncs you two NOT GUILTY of anything!!!"
confetti rained down from the ceiling as nikolai breathed a sigh of relief. christopher walken came up to him.
"young man, for that awesome speech, i want to give you something."
in christopher walkens hands were some SICK ASS SHOES. they were red with a white band down the middle and white cuffs on top and yellow buckles onn the side. nikolai immediately put on the shoes because they were sick as hell.
evil nikolai sheepishly walked up to grem, who glared at him.
"so uh... congrats on winning the court case" he said awkwardly. "want to get a drink? ill pay of course"
before grem could gut him, nikolai punched nikolye in the face before beating the shit out of him on the courtroom floor. the courtroom sat there and clapped like that one funny scene in evan gay lion.
afterwards, nikolai picked up grem bridal style and carried him out of the court room.
------------
the next day, nik woke up feeling weird.
"hey grem, does your hair feel weird and bristly or is it just me?" he asked his husband.
.... who wasnt there.
but there was a slip of paper.
nikolai read it, and IMMEDIATELY ran out of the house, still in his boring pajamas.
the note was a ransom note... signed E.N!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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snapdraqons · 1 year
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haha what if I asked for mael stronghart for the character asks
(if you have absolutely zero thoughts on him, then do kazuma)
i'm only on 1-5 and stronghart has done nothing but the fact that youre asking about someone i assume to be a fairly insignificant side character is terrifying. thanks anon :) anyway kazuma time :D Sexuality Headcanon: gay
Gender Headcanon: i don't really have one?? i love trans kazuma content but i dont necessarily hc him as trans myself.
A ship I have with said character: ryunosuke :) i think he's deeply in love with him but also pretty repressed about it because. you know. 1800s.
A BROTP I have with said character: also ryunosuke. theyre besties your honour. and also susato. she taught him how to do a susato takedown bc he's the only person who deserves to know.
A NOTP I have with said character: once again i am not yet on tgaa2. i know kazuma comes back all fucked up and i know he hangs out with barok van zeiks or something????? but i hate barok van zeiks so lets say him. this isnt about shipping just about my hatred for bvk
A random headcanon: accidental ladies man. he doesn't mean to be and he doesn't notice but he's The Hot One.
General Opinion over said character: my beloved. my bestie. i want to kiss him on his stupid little headband that i'm sure has some meaning that i havent reached in canon yet
send me a character and I'll give you my headcanons
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truezero · 2 years
Text
OK TOH THOUGHTS let’s go (these are just in order of the episodes progression btw)
Spoilers for Clouds on the horizon below
-look at the collector being a silly little guy!! Love them fr fr
-“what if it’s all chaaaanged? What if YOU changed??” Dude
-“you can barely keep your human shape anymore!” DUDE
-ok so at the very least we know that they aren’t gonna make a new grimwalker while Hunter is still around
-but also Belos’ utter lack of care about him makes me :(
-Yeah Belos free the collector, I don’t think they’re one you want to break a promise of :)
-“you need to have more faith in pinky swears >:(“ the collector grows on me more and more every episode I swear
-I could go on a whole rant about why the shift from their initially just kinda silly behaviour (in my opinion) to truly childlike nature is what both warmed me up to them and made me very scared for him
-but that’s for another post
-KIKI GOT FUCKING DEMOTED LMAO
-I’m gonna punt her
-hidden Blight kids what they doing
-“Blights always uphold their end of the deal” FUCK you
-oh hang on so Odalia talks about “reconsidering her deal” with Alador and immediately moves into talking about how the kids should get more involved, does that mean that Alador has been convincing Odalia not to shove them into business work? I hope so
-HE LOOKS SO DISTRESSED OH NO
-I must say I am enjoying Alador’s gradual redemption. I like that he hasn’t been forgiven right away, reasonably so, but is working to be better I think that’s just a very good way to go about his character and I’m very happy about it
-ok scene change to sum up fuck Odalia I’m gonna crime her
-Dude I want to give King a hug so bad
-LUZ HAS A LITTLE PONYTAIL
-Eber is real funny lookin’ I love them
- AAA Eda seems like she’s trying to put up a brave face and I’m gonna sob
- EGG EGG WGG EGG EGG EGG THATS SO SWEET
-AWE EDA ENCOURAGING LUZ TO GO SAVE AMITY
- “bossy boots” 🥺🥺🥺
-Raine making a promise to Luz aaaaaa
-YES MAKE IT YOUR BATTLE CRY CAUSE PROBLEMS FOR DARIUS SPECIFICALLY
-DUDE Katya is so fun and also my sister is so gay for her
-THEY’RE BEST BUDDIES I LOVE THEM
-H U N T E R MY DARLING THERE HE IS HE HAS A NEW OUTFIT I AM GOING TO GIVE HIM A KISS
-HÉ HAS A HANDSHAKE WITH GUS AWE
-HUNTER BB NO YOU’RE MORE THAN THAT :(
-Gus using the thingy he nabbed from Adrian is so excellent
-“SORRY MAN” Hunter my beloved
-why’d they slide in like that gkdjdhd
-YESS Hunter jumping in to help Luz they are siblings your honour I love them
-THEY ARE ALL SO POWERFUL LOOK AT THEM GO
-LUZ GO BLUSHYYYY THEYRE SO CUTE
-ROMEO AND JULIET MOMENT WITH THE BALCONY MY GOD
-AYO flowers around the balcony??
-ODALIA FUCKING BROKE THE TAMAGOTCHI I’m gonna commit a crime actually
-they tried to burn down. The FUCKING factory. I sometimes fear the Blight twins just as much as I love them
-NOOO AMITY :( I’m giving her a hug too everyone is getting hugs
-Emira prompting Amity to talk about Luz,, I’ll cry methinks
-“I would say all that :)” they’re so cute I’m on the FLOOR
-THE FLOWER FRAMING RESEMBLES THE VINES AROUND THE WINDOW WITH EDA AND RAINE FROM TTBK
-LUZ SPINNING AMITY AROUND IS SO GOOD AND SWEET
-holy shit did the frame rate go up when amity said “I know”
-KISSKISSKISSSKISSKISSKISS AAAAAAAADJGIKSJDDH DISINTEGRATING
-c r i k e y
-They are such nerds I’m going to scream slash positive connotation
-AMITY MAKING THE SAME FACE AS BACK IN THE TUNNEL OF LOVE SHE LOVES HER GIRLFRIEND
-oh yeah everyone else is here too
-HUNTER LOOKS SO GRUMPY
-STEVE TIME
-ooh haven’t seen the elixirs in a while that’s slightly concerning
-HOOTY WEARING CLOTHES WHO DID THIS
-why is Amber the one piloting the ship she’s too TINY FOR THAT
-“it won’t change your voice, so try not to say much” that’s gonna come back
-EDA STILL HAS HER GOLD TOOTH I GUARANTEE THATS GONNA COME BACK
-oh god there goes her head I forgot she could just do that
-mmmm I don’t quite like that they just h a v e a sigil glove
-I trust Steve with my life but it is TERRIFYING that he can (is about to) brand Eda with a sigil just at any given notice
-why the FUCK does Odalia’s hair move like that
-Kiki looks so pathetic it’s incredible
-they are hiding :)
-AWE NO LET KING HELP
-THE COLLECTOR IS IN KING’S HEAD THATS PROBABLY NOT GOOD
-I do NOT like how even the collector HIMSELF is doubtful of Belos’ integrity I am so prepared for him to betray the collector (never planned on freeing them in the first place maybe?) and the collector to go NUTS
-maybe that’s how we get collector!Luz? They team up because the collector feels betrayed and they’re like “Y’know what we do not like each other but this puritan bitch has to go”
-is king getting kidnapped with a trail of hex mix I swear to god
-The music is always so peppy when we get a new Blight product that dichotomy of sound and what’s actually happening is AWESOME
-SNORSEPOWER
-Snorses :)
-dude Kikimora just getting fucking picked up is so funny
-“IM TALLER THAN E V E R Y O N E” she’s so unhinged oh my god
-she’s going to kill someone with that
-and I have no idea if it’s going to be on purpose or not
-WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A RAT THAT LOOKS LIKE ALADOR
-is that his palisman
-I’m gonna start a riot if that’s his palisman
-I don’t even mean it negatively just fucking RAT
-Hunter trying to trick Odalia has no right being as funny as it is
-Dude how did Odalia not notice the abomination-purple hair poking out of one of those masks
-stop calling his voice annoying :(
-“sOrrY mAn” coven scout noooo
-AYO every one of the wild witches in this scene look awesome why are these designs so jammin’
-ok good King didn’t get kingnapped
-King hanging out with Alador? Not what I expected but I’ll gladly take it
-how is Odalia still running a business dude you can’t just fire HALF A TEAM and expect the same work rates
-I hate her
-she’s literally a toxic store manager but a million times worse
-GIRL GIVE YOUR HUSBAND A WEEKEND OFF WHAT THE FUCK
-“sounds like I joined the wrong coven” does mans not get LUNCH BREAKS??
-THE WIND BLOWING AFTER KING MENTIONED NEVER MEETING HIS DAD
-IS THE TITAN TEYING TO GIVE HIM A LITTLE PUSH ON THE SWING
-SCREAMING
-dude did Alador make that swingset for the kids??? It’s very abomination-y so it doesn’t seem unlikely
-I hope so that’s so cute
-“I’m gonna spend more time with my kids. Get to know them.“ SOBS
-oh fuck he knows now
-“I’m tired of all this draaama” I’m going to kill you
-AWE AMITY DEFENDING LUZ LOOK AT HER STANDING UP TO HER MOM I’M SO PROUD OF HER
-“oh no, no, that won’t do” dude she’s literally acting like Luz is like,,, a fashion choice or an object she’s so yuckyyyy
-YESSS GO AMITY SHE’S SO POWERFUL
-STOP HUNTER LOOKS SO SCARED AT KIKI THREATENING TO BRING HIM TO BELOS
-all the more reason for me to punt her
-“The Emperor has eyes everywhere” THERE BETTER NOT BE A TRAITOR I SWEAR TO GOD
-I really hope it’s just the collector watching through King and not a traitor
-oh fuck they plotting
-GO AMITY HELL YEA SHE IS UNBELIEVABLY POWERFUL
-“IT WAS THE POWER OF SCIENCE” what a nerd
-WHAT THE FUCK SHE KNEW ALREADY
-ODALIA IS SO SO ICKY
-G O D
-bro Amity gets her red-faced trait from her dad that’s kinda cute
-THANK YOU ALADOR FOR REALIZING YOUR WIFE IS SHIT
-I forgot how oracles fight that’s pretty sick
-WAITWAIT LUZ DID THE HUNTER TELEPORT
-THAT’S NOT NORMAL
-ARE THEY ILLUSIONED AS EACH OTHER
-ok “Hunter” blowing a raspberry at Kiki they’re definitely illusioned as each other
-“Hunter” did Luz’s classic little lip curl
-I will now be pointing out every detail that is proving this until either they switch back or I am proven wrong
-“LUZ” HAS A TOOTH GAP
-I REPEAT
-TOOTH GAP
-also both of them aren’t talking much did Steve not say illusions can’t change voices 👀
-Ok so Luz’s plan was definitely to illusion them as each other for some reason yea
-unfortunately, the jet pack did indeed work
-NO ODALIA LETS NOT GET BACK TO BUSINESS I AM GOING TO BITE YOU
-YES GO AMITY CUT HER OFF
-mmm Odalia calling amity “princess” just really gave me the icks I Do Not Like
-AYO Alador can pack a fuckin punch his eyes went purple and everything
-“Also, I quit” DIVORCE ARC
-“I’ve been meaning to find a new competent business partner anyway” Odalia that’s your fucking HUSBAND. Who you are MARRIED TO
-this slightly implies that she married him purely for business and that’s just :(
-and off into the mist she goes
-bye bye bitch I hate youuuu
-damn even Alador is scared of Odalia
-Gus is still holding an illusion even though the fight is over 👀 👀
-DUDE I FUCKIN CALLED IT
-THERE HE IS
-HE LOOKS SO DISTRESSED HE IS NOT USED TO KINDNESS FROM ADULTS ALSO HE IS NOT IN FACT LUZ
-oh no
-OH NO
-OK SO LUZ GOT HERSELF CAUGHT AS HUNTER ON PURPOUSE
-WOW THATS NO GOOD
-FUCKING CLIFFHANGER GOD DAMN IT
FINAL THOUGHTS
Very good episode 8.5/10 Hootys from me
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what-if-nct · 2 years
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Hi I'm going through such an the a-team phase right now just like a Jungwoo phase. I love this and I hate this. (No I'm not also going through a my little pony phase shush they are just so cute.) You know I've always watched the a-team as a kid and now I read fics about them being gay and angsty and adorable. Especially Face and Murdock, you probably don't know who they are but Face is lieutenant and a playboy and Murdock is captain and lives on the VA. Theyre Vietnam vetetans and pretty weird. In those fics they are literally so gay and its adorable. Anyway I'll stop screaming about a random series no one knows now.
Why are Tens toes so big
I fucking love Xiaojun why is he so adorable and cute and amazing I wanna go and scream 'woahh' to honour him I love him and I wanna explode he's too adorable.
Dadd- I mean Johnny is so hot why can't anyone be hot he's too hot and I'll burn into ashes someday because of him.
You probably know who I am tho, like idk how many sneeze blogs follow you and you follow me on your main too so I think you know who I am (my pfp is red/pink-ish?) Pls don't like reveal tho cuz who knows I might get stalked and I'm just a lil paranoid lol
-sneeze anon
Hii, I've only heard of A-team through references. Especially Mr T those references ran pretty far into the 2000s. But I love the way I see people fandomnize shows from the 80s, 90s and even 00s.
Okay, I'm back on my Taylor Swift phase so now all i can do is think about Taylor. Theres going to be a video for every song. Shes been wanting to do that since debut. I listened to Taylor for 2 hours before the album was released i was preparing. There was a bit of country. Also if you hate country i recommend I Hope by Gabby Barrett its so good.
Seriously why are his toes big and they look so strong for some reason. I love Xiaojun hes such a little guy that brings unbridled joy. Johnny, is too much to handle for long periods sometimes. Like you need Johnny breaks before you combust.
And yes! I know exactly who you are!
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Text
Be Bold
Be Bold by Dawn Till Dusk
Denki likes Midoriya. He like likes Midoriya. Bakugou, the person he most often rants to about this, knows all too well about Denki's crush.
And Bakugou said to 'be bold', so Denki is going to be bold. Fuck yeah, he's gonna be so goddamn bold, and honest, and confident, that Midoriya won't be able to refuse his love.
Izuku likes Kaminari. He like likes Kaminari. So maybe he finds an excuse to spend more time around him... even if that excuse does include setting up Kacchan and Shinsou. Eh, it doesn't matter. The important thing is he gets to spend more time with Kaminari.
Or: Izuku and Denki are disaster gays, and they somehow set up another pair of disaster gays in the time it takes them to get together.
Words: 13521, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 13 of Bibble's Miscellaneous Oneshots
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Kaminari Denki, Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki, Shinsou Hitoshi
Relationships: Kaminari Denki/Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki/Shinsou Hitoshi, Bakugou Katsuki & Kaminari Denki, Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku, Kaminari Denki & Shinsou Hitoshi
Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Future Fic, Second Year Class 1-A, Chatfic Elements, Texting, Crack, Fluff, Getting Together, Humor, Sexual Humor, It's Kaminari after all, and they're all teenagers so, Pining, Mutual Pining, Pining Midoriya Izuku, Pining Kaminari Denki, Gay Disaster Midoriya Izuku, Gay Disaster Kaminsri Denki, Idiots in Love, The 'getting two people together and then getting together yourselves' trope, that's not a tag? Wow i'm so surprised /sar, Class 1-A Shenanigans, kind of, Instagram: home of the gays, Photographer Shinsou Hitoshi, Izuku couldn't be more gay for denki, and denki couldn't be more gay for Izuku, theyre perfect for each other your honour, Tickle Fights, Never Have I Ever, There is a mistake in the fic that makes no sense but it's funny so i kept it in, not in the texting bits. Those mistakes are intentional
Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41135901
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theskyexists · 1 year
Text
gundam ep
The funny thing about Miorine is that she’s fanservice. she’s fanservice for ME and it isnt even entirely divorced from your regular shit fanservice. those see through tights whatever they’re called in english. BUT IT IS EFFECTIVE ON ME, ME!!!! because miorine is a whole person, stubborn, smart, passionate, and most of the girls just wear their normal gender-neutral uniform animated to look like normal regular unsexyfied human beings. SO THE SE THROUGH TIGHTS ARE ACTUALLY EFFECTIVE. THEY ARE A CONTRAST.
I LOVE HOW MIORINE HAS MANAGED TO FIND A WAY TO DUEL. SHE’S TRULY THE QUEEN WITH A KNIGHT AND SOLDIERS AT HER BECK AND CALL NOW
i already know that they are going to very effectively lift this conflict from ‘game’ to ‘battle’, from queen to commander
lololololol whatever her name is is protecting the honour of her 12th backup boyfriend.
her mother CRIES at her daughters being such an incredible team that Aerial can even push through a supressor (oh...she lost a husband to such technology of course...)
i do really like shaddiq, but he really thought he could beat the gundam with an ace team and suppressors? i mean that does make sense but.... why didnt he fight for miorine before i wonder....those tomatoes are such great visual metaphors - unripe.
they did say that one can refuse a duel. why not just refuse duels suletta?
SHE EVEN LETS SULETTA TAKE CARE OF THE GREENHOUSE IN HER ABSENCE THE FUCKING POWER OF THIS METAPHOR
they bought out TWO development teams. why are the high schoolers testing out these legs. did the development teams make them and sent them to the school for testing? why?
this is - as far as i can tell - completely unrealistic economo-babble lol
i love the league woman and mio negotiating. honestly it really goes to show that mio has no concept of how possible it is for your space pilot to kill you
they need a ‘spacious’ place. the whole school, the whole forest around teh school???
what the fuck. Delling had his son, heir to the house, clean spaceships? what is going on in these parents’ minds???????
shaddiq is funding an earthian community?
‘you work for peil yet you’ve been helping us’ WHERE IS THE BOUGHT OUT PEIL TEAM??
oh evil pretty Elan is so good at being seductive. i feel honestly like this anime was made for me lololol.
there is truly zero doubt in my mind that people can survive in space and theyre not adapted. these people live their whole lives in space without problem! what the fuck are tehy talking about
how did miorine buy a spaceship and not a pr team? i can only intuit that the video makes for a non-threatening impression and maybe that was her intention...
WHY are they bringing the whole team and the goats....
how the fuck do these kids get to drive a spaceship lol
AH. that’s how she convinced Delling. he’s got a Gundam project of his own that she convinced him she could deliver essential data for....
Suletta is so fucking annoying for being so goddamn fragile lol. makes ya want to shake her.
damn ok instead she gets punched first in teh boob (no problem) but then mio gets a hit on the solar plexus. the writers for this show are really good. the loose threads are getting tied up, the characters have multiple motives, and comedy is combined very well with drama.
Damn miorine KNOWS what she wants. And what she wants is Suletta.
ok so apparently groomly duties are also cleaning her room lol. this was super gay. fascinating how they stick to homosexual relationships being accepted and ordinary, but they still play with the audience’s expectations - suletta’s and miorine’s expectations of friendship romance and intimacy, the political game, japanese inclination to dismiss romance between girls as not actually real and the possibility that despite homosexual relationships being ordinary in this world they are not the SAME as straight relationships and interact IN-WORLD with everything previous.
LFRITHS!!!!!!!!!!!! VANADIS CONNECTION
wtf theyre doing an all out atttack. woudlnt sneaking in work better
ohhh shaddiq is betting on Jeturk man dying in the attack. hm
why is prospera so convinced that suletta will find THEM
the intro is actually really good
how in the hell did suletta survive that.
shaddiq didnt even fucking warn miorine or nika that this was gonna happen
ah.......jeturk was not the one who sent guel away. Shaddiq deliberately put him in harms way....if it was shaddiq. probably. the writers were cleverer than me.
I LOVE how sulettas shounen fucking phrase got Elan killed, Jeturk killing his dad, and Suletta indoctrinated to KILLLLLL. some pmmm shit. they went: lets use the tropes you know and MASH THEM TOGETHER WITH WAR!!!!!!!
the visual metaphors in this are so simple and beautiful. her moving forward was bout friends and connections and self-confidence in social situations one episode ago. NOW IT IS ABOUT MURDERING
they havent even confirmed a kill on delling
oh that was the last one. the quality of this series is the best in years and years.
god guel got such a terrible terrible terrible deal out of life now. if shaddiq is responsible... wait hold on. maybe guel left of his own accord to go work a shitty job.....that makes more sense than shaddiq putting him in harms way. normally anime spell so much out but not this bit.
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