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#they're spotted frequently (and no one seems to get bit. but its hard to get bit by a rattler period
liliacamethyst · 9 months
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just curious if there's an extra angsty alternative drabbles because i love ur work ! like in a scenario where sun-spider isn't able to care for herself because the pregnancy is taking a toll on her or she got extremely ill OR EVEN GETTING EXTREMELY injured during a mission and lets say the gang is too caught up with spider society business to check on her, how would miguel react then?
ill leave the actual state of sun-spider in your hands 🤭
A LETTER FROM THE SUN
Thank you so much for your request, I really liked your idea- So here's an extra , extra ANGSTY (trigger warning) alternative universe Drabble. I got a little bit carried away I really hope you still enjoy it 💚:
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You can barely see through the spots dancing before your eyes as you stagger back to your apartment on Earth 586. You don't remember the walk home from the doctor's office but somehow, you made it back. The weight of the doctor's words still echo in your ears, "The childbirth... It's too dangerous. You won't survive."
It's not that you're not scared; you are, very much so. But more than that, you're filled with a fierce determination - for your child and for the world you've sworn to protect. And so, you put your mask, pull on your suit, and step into the battle once more, fighting harder than you ever have before.
But behind the brave facade, you're struggling. You're tired, your energy gone by the demands of your pregnancy and your duty as Spider-Sun. You're having to deal with the pains and discomforts that come with carrying a child, exacerbated by the unrelenting strain of your battles.
You retreat to Earth 586, hoping to find some solace and respite in your own universe. But instead, your responsibilities there seem to compound your exhaustion. There are still threats to confront, villains to vanquish, innocents to save. You're fighting two wars at the same time - one for your world, and one for your life.
The spider society is oblivious to your struggles. They are wrapped up in their own missions and agendas, too absorbed in saving the multiverse to notice your quiet battle for survival. The absence of concern from the team feels like a sting, a bitter pill to swallow, yet you say nothing, because you understand. So you hide your pain behind your bright smile and valiant spirit, because that's what you do best.
Still, as the days pass, your condition worsens. Your constant fatigue, the severe sickness and the frequent fainting spells- all signs that are hard to ignore. You're well aware that your body is pushing its limits but the love you have for your child growing inside of you keeps you from giving up. You've always fought against the odds, and you're not about to stop now - not when the stakes are that. Higher than they've ever been before.
You're fighting for two now, and that's all the motivation you need to keep going. You're ready to make the ultimate sacrifice for your child. And you'll face it with all the courage and determination that make you Spider-Sun.
-
Miguel, Gwen, Peter B, and Jess are on a mission in your Earth - Earth 586. It's been months since they've seen you, and Gwen and Peter are buzzing with excitement. Even Miguel, who maintains his stoic façade as always, has a glint in his eyes that hints at anticipation and excitement of the prospect of seeing his love again.
As they land, Gwen looks around, taking in the familiar surroundings of your world. "I can't believe it's been so long," she remarks, a hint of guilt in her voice. "We got so caught up in everything..."
Peter B chimes in, "Yeah, Sunny is gonna give us an earful for sure. I'm surprised she hasn't come to give us a welcome smack yet." His playful remark hangs in the air and everybody silently agrees.
They're here to deal with an anomaly, a Lizard-like opponent. Yet, as the fight breaks out, Peter can't help but wonder why you aren't here. This is your world, your neighborhood, your people. You're always there, ready to protect and serve. So where are you?
"Miguel!" Peter B shouts over the sounds of the fight. "Why isn't Sunny here? This is her world! Where is she?"
The fight ends sucessfully, with Jess instructed by Miguel to take the captive Lizard back to HQ. There's a tension in Miguel's voice, a sharpness that wasn't there before. He announces that he's going to look for you, his eyes flicking briefly towards the city, towards your home. “You guys go back and secure the ugly lizard. I will look where the hell Sunny is hiding.”
"We're coming with you," Gwen says firmly, Peter B nodding in agreement beside her. There's no room for argument in her voice. Miguel gives them a curt nod and so they swinf through Nea Yorkey searcing for their sun.
Gwen’s search for you leads her to knock on the doors of the neighbors in your building. Most people either shake their heads, claiming they haven't seen you, or slam the door in her face without a word. Gwen's worry deepens with each door she knocks on.
Finally, she finds a woman with a bunch of children screaming in the background. The woman looks frazzled, but she stops and listens to Gwen's questions. "Haven't seen her in days," the woman says, wiping her hands on her apron. "There was an ambulance here the other day, took her away. Ain't seen no light in her place since then."
Gwen feels as if the air has been sucked out of her lungs. She thanks the woman and rushes off to find Miguel and Peter B. Her words spill out in a rush, detailing what she found out. "Miguel," she gasps out. "Peter. Ambulance. Sunny's place."
Miguel's face goes deathly pale, and before Gwen or Peter B can react, he swings into the air, shooting webs and flying through the city with a speed and urgency that leaves them behind.
Gwen and Peter B look at each other and immediately follow, but Miguel is like a man possessed, a force of nature.
He reaches the hospital, and without a second thought, he barges through the doors. His heart is pounding in his chest, his breaths are short and ragged.
The reception desk nurses look up in surprise as Miguel, still in his Spider-Man 2099 suit, demands to know if you are in the hospital. There is a desperation as he speaks your name.
After a tense conversation with the hospital staff and almost being escorted out, Miguel is finally given the room number.
The world seems to stand still  around Miguel as he enters the room, only to find it empty. The nurse, busy tidying the space and remaking the bed, looks up in surprise at the sudden intrusion.
He's staring at the closed door when a nurse brushes past him, mumbling an apology. A sudden rush of fear and confusion go through him as he turns to see the empty hospital bed. His heart feels as if it's been ripped out from his chest. The room spins around him. Where are you?
"Excuse me, are you Miguel O'Hara?" A voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and he turns to see another nurse, her face kind but weary. He can only nod, words failing him at the moment.
"Mr. O'Hara, she's not here anymore. She... she's not with us," the nurse says gently, her eyes filled with sympathy. She hands him an envelope. "She asked me to give this to you if you ever came looking for her."
"I am sorry," she adds quietly, before turning to leave. "I'll be right back with little Gabe."
Miguel doesnt register her words. His entire world feels as though it's come crashing down around him. He sinks onto the nearby chair, clutching the envelope tightly, his eyes staring blankly at it. He's too numb to even attempt to open it or even move.
Gwen and Peter B burst into the room then, worry clearly visible on their faces. "Miguel, what's going on?" Gwen asks urgently, rushing to his side. Peter B follows her but Miguel barely hears them, his blood rushing in his ears.
The world is blurry around him, sounds are muffled and distant. The room is empty, and you are not there. ‘No es real’ and ‘por favor vuelve a mi mi sol’ are the only things he can mumble over and over again tirelessly. The reality of it feels like a crushing weight on his chest and all he can do is sit there, holding onto the last piece of you he has left. 
Dear Miguel,
If you're reading this, then I am no longer in this world. 
I just wanted to let you know that it’s not your fault and no you couldn’t have saved me. I know how you are, Miguel. You always have been the man who would try to save the world single-handedly, even if it meant sacrificing yourself in the process. But this wasn't on you. This was my choice, my decision and I stand by it. I knew the risks and I am sorry I hurt you.
But here's the thing, I have no regrets. Our child...our Gabriel, he's my most cherished gift to you, Miguel. And I know you, with your awkward, nerdy charm and those terrible dad jokes you think are hilarious, will be an amazing father. You were born to be a dad - it's like your destiny. And guess what? This is your second chance to be the best dad you were always supposed to be.
I know you will protect our baby with every fiber of your being. That's just who you are. My last wish is that you give Gabriel the life he deserves. Raise him, love him, be there for him. That's all I want, Miguel.
And if you ever miss me, just look up to the sky, and I'll be there. Even if you can't see me, know that I'm probably hiding behind a cloud, always watching over and protecting you and our Gabriel.
P.S. Please let Gwen, Peter, Jess, Hobie, Miles, Pav and the rest of the squad know how thankful I am for them. They’ve been family, and I know they will rock as godparents.
Forever shining for you, 
Tu sol
The door opens again, and the nurse walks in, cradling a tiny bundle in her arms. A baby. A newborn.
As soon as Miguel held the newborn,his son, securely in his arms, he makes a silent promise to you, wherever you are, that he will honor your last wish. He will be the father Gabriel deserves and he will make sure that your sacrifice and love will never be forgotten.
After all, how could anyone possibly forget about the sun?
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narrators-journal · 2 years
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Let the game finally begins
So, this was supposed to be the final part of this series, but it got super fucking long and incoherent at the end, so I cut it and trimmed it down. Part 5 will be up when I am able to rework it out of being hot ass and have a free moment to post!
Last part: Here
First part: here
If you had to describe the demons from your dreams, it would be shockingly hard. Not because you couldn't remember them, in fact, that whole dream was one of the only dreams you could recall almost as vividly as a real-life memory, it was just that the two were very similar. Emmet and Ingo looked alike, and while Emmet was the chattier of the pair, and far more expressive with his face, your encounter with them did a lot to prove that the twin with the perpetual frown was just as twistedly playful as the other. Which meant, you had no real reprieve.
So, you decided to finally bite the bullet and return to your own home after that dream. Not only because you worried for your friends and them getting caught in the crossfire, but because you honestly couldn't bring yourself to look either of them in the eye after your saucy nap. So, after a myriad of promises to report even the smallest occurrence of demonic activity to them, they reluctantly let you return home.
Naturally, though, you didn't breathe a word of your plans to them. It didn't take a fortune teller to know that if you mentioned wanting to retry the ritual and finally play a game with the spirits you had invited into your life they'd turn the car around and never leave you alone again. What's the other option? A lifetime of growingly frequent wet dreams? Wet nightmare? You asked yourself once you'd wished your friends goodbye and walked back into your home after what felt like an entire month away. Of course, the abode was mute, with not a soul within outside of maybe a pet or two, and while that was usually a bit of comfort for you, now it was purely ominous.
However, you steeled yourself to the anxious swirl of feelings in your stomach and simply went about gathering the candles you had originally used for the ritual and a marker, paint, or whatever would work to draw the symbols. Though, you couldn't use them until nighttime, when it was dark enough, so you were still forced to burn the remaining daylight before taking the plunge a second time. Hopefully, this ends soon. I can't take any more time off of work... you thought, sitting down to watch a bit of television while you continued to mull things over.
A lot had happened in a relatively short time. You were a simple woman, just aiming to do good and live a peaceful life. But now you were sitting on your couch with cold spots breezing by you repeatedly, never enough to leave a lingering chill, but enough to be noticeable to you.
Despite their games and lingering energies, you were able to mostly ignore, if not tolerate, their antics until they finally seemed to settle down around noon. Or, so you hoped.
For a while, you just enjoyed the quiet, simply watching your shows and keeping an eye and an ear out for any oddities. Though, after a few hours of finding no cold spots, nothing grabbing you, and no vague whispers or watchful gazes, you began to worry. What if they're going after my friends? Can they do that? you asked yourself, pushing yourself up off of the couch to pad around your home. Can they actually harm them though? Or even really leave me alone? the thoughts continued but did little to decrease how apprehension gnawed on you like a dog would its chew toy. In fact, it only increased when you peeked into your bedroom.
It was just as empty as the rest of your house, with the covers and sheets still thrown haphazardly around from you and your friends' mad dash for the door, and was as warm as you'd expect it to be on a sunny summer day. So, tentatively, you stepped into the room fully, ensuring the door stayed open behind you for a swift escape if needed, to walk around and try to find a localized chilly spot that might've been hiding. Yet, it wasn't until you were on the opposite side of the room that you found a spectral sign in the form of a swirling patch of air so cold that you could've sworn it was made up of that same icy fog your freezer sometimes spewed when you opened it.
    "Well, there's one of them at least," you told the non-existent audience with you, letting out a small breath of relief, only for it to be cut short by the sound of your bedroom door clicking shut.
Instead of whirling around to look at what was sure to be nothing visible, you bit back the instinct to instantly run. You'd already faced these demons, you knew at least something of their personalities, so you had no real reason to bolt from the unknown. learning the unknown's name usually puts an end to that title, anyway.
So, instead of freaking out, you did your best to keep calm and just strolled back towards the door as casually as your drumming heart could allow. Making it to wrapping your hand around the cold knob before the twin demons seemed to hit their next horror movie marker. The door was stuck.
With a muttered curse word, you pressed yourself to the door, partially for support and partially to try and keep as far away from the spirit within the room with you. And you stood like that, in a thick silence so heavy that you felt as if your breaths were forced to come out shallow, for what felt like an eternity before you finally felt the cold snake around your waist.
It stayed there for a moment, sending melancholy ripples through your body. Is a ghost trying to fuck me? Is he gonna kidnap me? Your panicked brain questioned, cooking up a slew of scenarios at record speed while you tried again to get your bedroom door open. However, that glimmer of hope seemed to be torn away when out of nowhere, the spirit threw you onto the bed, which you almost bounced off of from the force of it.
However, before you could scramble away, the cold returned, this time to pin your back to the bed. If it weren't for how you could almost feel his hand grab your wrists and pin them on either side of your head, you would've thought the creature was just fucking with you, trying to scare you witless as some form of vengeance for continuing to not keep your word, but after your first true introduction to the twins, you couldn't be certain anymore.
      "U-uh, E-emmet?" You nervously guessed while you attempted to wriggle your hands free of the spirit, who hadn't yet moved from his position assumedly straddling you. "I-ingo?" You corrected after a moment, only getting another moment of silence before, surprisingly, the weight on your wrists lifted.
You decided to take that brief hint and almost threw yourself off of the bed, but, you didn't run out of the room. No, the last thing you needed was to instigate whatever predatory leanings Ingo had by turning your back and running. You instead kept your eyes on the bed as much as humanly possible while you walked to the door. When you found it released from the paranormal lock, you casually opened it and stepped out, not breathing again until you'd closed your bedroom door once more. Alright, guess I won't go in there anymore. You decided.
With that, you kept your word for the rest of the day. You stayed firmly in the living room and made sure to keep all of the ritual supplies in a plastic bag clutched protectively to your chest until evening finally settled and you could begin to draw the two symbols you had originally in your living room again. Then, you set about making the circles with candles and lighting them before turning the lights off once more for the final step.
Taking a deep breath, you watched the circles of flames flicker and dance, all too aware of the feeling of eyes glued to you as you stood just out of the reach of the main glow of the candles. Swallowing the lump of anxiety sitting heavily in your throat, you finally said the final line,
     "I'm looking for someone to play a game with, is there anyone willing to join?"
Once more, your question was met with silence, but this time you didn't brush it off as a dud, you now knew better. So, you instead just watched the flames flicker for a long moment in the darkness before speaking again,
     "I know you two are there, can you show yourselves?" You didn't get an answer for a long moment, but then the candles dimmed, and the shadows slithered into the symbols, slowly taking form until two dark figures stood before you. Shaking off the remaining darkness, they showed themselves once more.
          "Hello again, dear," Ingo hummed while he and his twin stared down at you with silver eyes, though this time, you could take a step back from them instead of being mindlessly rooted to the spot.
     "Does this mean you'll finally be giving us a game to play?" Emmet asked, his seemingly permanent grin showing off canines that you were at least halfway sure weren't supposed to be that noticeably sharp.
     "Uh, yeah, I just need to know if there are any rules that are mandatory," you said, your eyes locking on a bit of movement as you spoke, finally bringing attention to the tails they both had. How had you not noticed those in either encounter before?
     "We don't have rules that are required in each game." Ingo said, snapping you out of your thoughts, "The only requirement that must be included is that we both agree to the game and rules you set."
    "outside of that, and the need for a set time limit, we're verrry flexible," Emmet added, swishing his snow-colored tail as he spoke, obviously amused at how you watched it move until finally tearing your eyes away to focus on the conversation again,
     "Right, so...I guess the first step is to decide the game."
For the next hour or so, you tried to think up a game that would be least taxing on you while being entertaining enough for the two demons. Sadly though, none of your suggestions got accepted by the pair. Apparently, some form of card game like poker would be too easy, and board games were too boring, so you were forced to be a bit more creative.
It seemed they liked active games like tag or hide-and-seek, but you avoided offering those games since you already knew your fate on that track. Instead, you tried to find a middle ground, something that would be fun for them but gave you a realistic chance at victory. Which, after some thinking, stemmed an idea.
     "What if, we played something like green-light-red-light?" You asked, watching the brothers share a curious look before returning their attention to you,
     "A game where you can't move, but we can get as close as we can before you try to stop us? That's a verryy bold decision." Emmet pointed out,
    "I said something like it, not the game itself." You countered, making both demons raise their eyebrows. You now had their attention, "What if, one of the rules of this game was that you could only get closer to me under a certain condition? Like, when I don't look at you." You suggested, getting up from where you had sat on the floor to get a paper and a pen to note things down.
     "That's a very simple game, I'm not so sure it'd be fun for us," Ingo said, his calm, slightly monotone words laced with a verbal nudge that you ignored.
     "Well, maybe we can add in some other elements then. But right now, the rule is that you can't get closer unless I look away from you two." Neither disagreed with that, so you set about making up the rules with them, being sure that they not only knew the rules but wouldn't veto them.
After that, you had a pretty solid mixture of tag, hide-and-seek, green-light-red-light, and some balancing rules, like they couldn't use inhuman speed or transportation, kill anyone not in the game or hold anyone hostage, plus, dreams didn't count as them catching you. On your end, you got a day's head start, but only because they wouldn't be telling you when the game would truly begin. Once it did, however, you'd need to evade them until dawn or evening, depending on when they come after you. They could try a total of three times in three months to catch you, and if you could keep them from doing so, you got to go free with no more haunting and no repercussions upon your soul. If they did manage to catch you though,
     "You will be entirely ours," Ingo said, almost smiling slightly to match the dark promise within his words.
Looking over the rules and rewards again, you sighed. At least I have a fighting chance, you told yourself before looking back at the creatures,
     "So what now?" you asked them, the warm glow of the candles making the mischievous, dangerous light in their eyes all the more ominous as Emmet spoke.
    "Now all you have to do is blow out the candles! Then we'll be on our merry way until we decide to take a crack at you." With a nod, you got up from your spot again and set about extinguishing the flames one by one. The entire time, your stomach churned and twisted with a maelstrom of regret, anxiety, and excitement tha
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Tabaco y Brea
Part two
Pairing: Javier Peña x DEA! reader
Rating: M, eventually. Now? PG-13
Words: 3.5k
A/N: well, the first part didn't get many notes but I really love this story. If a single person reads it and likes it, then it's enough for me :)
Warnings: shouting, fighting, swearing, is eating a warning?,jealousy.
Taglist: @dynphomaniac
Part one here
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The days passed faster than you would have liked. With so much paperwork added for the Cali mission, you stayed late almost every day. Javi, in an unexpected change of events, stayed with you. He didn't do shit, of course, but his company was comforting. He would softly hum songs sometimes, or get out a book and read it out loud to you. 
The night before, he had been singing the Rocky soundtrack for most of it, turning to Led Zeppelin when he finished. You still remember how after you heard on the radio that John Bonham had been found dead in September 1980, he had left the office for a second and stayed in complete silence outside. 
And then again in December, when they announced they were going to split. You never mentioned it, and you knew he wouldn't admit it even with a gun pointed at his head, but you were sure you had seen a tear run down his cheek. He was a huge fan, apparently.
Tonight, he was reading Cien Años de Soledad (One Hundred Years of Solitude), by Gabriel García Márquez. You loved that author, but you weren't sure if you had ever mentioned it to him. Maybe he knew you enough to figure it out without the need of hearing it straight from your mouth.
"José Arcadio Buendía, que era el hombre más emprendedor que se vería jamás en la aldea, había dispuesto de tal modo la posición de las casas, que desde todas podía llegarse al río y abastecerse de agua con igual esfuerzo, y trazó las calles con tan buen sentido que ninguna casa recibía más sol que otra a la hora del calor." (José Arcadio Buendía, who was the most enterprising man ever to be seen in the village, had set up the placement of the houses in such a way that from all of them one could reach the river and draw water with the same effort, and he had lined up the streets with such good sense that no house got more sun than another during the hot time of day. )
His voice was very soothing to you, even more when he was speaking Spanish. You didn't know if he had noticed, but it got more raspy and deep when he changed languages. It reminded you of the summers spent in México with your father, when he would tell you stories about his childhood in México City or the trips he would do to Nuevo Laredo with your grandma.
He stopped reading for a second and you looked up to see why was that just to find him already staring at you.
"What's wrong?" you asked, not wanting to tell him you were enjoying his reading.
"Do you like this book?"
You nodded, a slight blush spreading in your cheeks. You tended not to give him compliments, his ego was big enough as it was without you contributing, but you figured this one wouldn't hurt.
"He's one of my favorite authors."
He smiled. "I figured"
"You brought that one because you thought I'd like it?"
It was just teasing, of course. You didn't think he'd do such a gesture for you, and the idea of him knowing you so well scared you a little bit.
He ignored you and kept going. " En pocos años, Macondo fue una aldea más ordenada y laboriosa que cualquiera de las conocidas hasta entonces por sus 300 habitantes. Era en verdad una aldea feliz, donde nadie era mayor de treinta años y donde nadie había muerto." (  Within a few years Macondo was a village that was more orderly and hard working than any known until then by its three hundred inhabitants. It was a truly happy village where no one was over thirty years of age and where no one had died.)
You stopped working for a moment, listening to the words he was saying instead. 
Did he know how sexy his voice was? How good he sounded? He was one of the smartest people you knew, and you had been to enough places and met enough people to say that with confidence. His mind was sharp, could run 10 miles per minute if the situation required it.
He noticed you were staring and stopped again. His frown got more pronounced, looking at you intrigued.
"What are you looking at?" his tone was defensive. He didn't like it when you stared at him too long, it felt like you could see straight through him, and there were some things he didn't want you to know.
You shook your head and laughed. "You look tired"
With a shrug, he returned his eyes to the book, but you stretched your arm to stop him. 
"Now what?"
You took the book from his hands and placed a clean sheet of paper from your desk between the pages he had been reading and closed it. With a soft sound, you let it fall on top of the table.
"It's getting late, we should go"
He straightened, surprised. Usually, he was the one to prey you away from all the paperwork. If he didn't stay with you, he would probably find you there still working the next morning.
"You are telling me we should leave?"
You nodded.
"Quick, before I change my mind."
At that, he stood up like a spring and started collecting his things. You chuckled as you saved the files on the drawer and put your jacket on.
"Let's go"
Two days later, he approached you without no greeting and in a very bad mood.
"The gringo's here"
What a great way to start the morning, you thought.
"Weren't we supposed to pick him up or something?"
Javi shook his head. He seemed frustrated, but you didn't know if it was about the arrival of your new partner or something else. With Javi, you could never guess.
His shoulders were tense, the beige suit he was wearing along with the striped tie and his yellow aviators made him look older and more serious. Had he dressed up to meet the new guy? Really?
"I'm gonna meet him outside at the Embassy's parking lot, wait here"
You nodded and kept filling the paperwork for the Cali raid as he left. You were going to take the new guy with you. You couldn't just dump him, he wasn't brought here to sit around and watch from the sidelines.
You just hoped he did his work.
A few minutes passed when you heard a pair of footsteps walking through the corridor.
"We're going to Medellín?"
That definitely wasn't Javi.
You stood up, turning around to the voice at your back. 
You had to suppress a laugh once you took a glance at them.
Their suits were almost the same color, Javi's just a shade darker. Steve Murphy was wearing a light blue shirt along with a navy blue tie, had a mustache similar to Javi's too (but it made him look weird, if you were honest). His hair was dark blonde, combed to one side, and his face gave away a little nervousness. He was also taller than Javi, meaning you had to crank your neck up to meet his eyes.
"Murphy this is Bera. Bera, Murphy." Javi pointed at you as Steve shook your hand. His hold was strong, and he squeezed with enough force to be firm but not enough to hurt you. That came appreciated, every single man who met you always treated you as if you were made of porcelain. 
You glared at Javi and told Steve your real name, then clarified, "But everyone calls me Bera" 
"Bera?" he asked. You smiled in return. 
"Long story, you'll get to know it later"
He smiled too, and they left for the ambassador's office. 
As it was everyone's knowledge at the Embassy, she didn't like Javi very much, so you dealt with it when you had to ask her for something. She had a soft spot for you, you guessed it was because she knew how hard it was to be a woman in this line of work. Maybe she didn't like him because of his methods of getting info, you weren't sure.
Once they got out, Javi stood up behind his desk and started moving the few papers he had there. You wondered how he managed to have such a mess considering he only read intel, made calls and left you with everything else.
"Ahora qué se te perdió Peña?" (What did you loose now Peña?)
He glared at you and kept moving his papers. His actions were getting desperate, frustration from before about who knows what affecting him.
Murphy was looking back and forth between the two of you, standing awkwardly between your desks. You didn't know if he had understood what you said, but judging by his face, you guessed he hadn't.
"Recuerdas la informante de la que te hablé?" (Remember the informant I told you about?"
You rolled your eyes. Of course you remembered, he had been seeing her frequently over the past few weeks. He wasn't one to be constant about his hookups, but apparently, she was good enough to keep a streak with him. He hadn't seen her since you had been staying late, but last night you had left early and he went straight to search for her. You didn't have to be a genius to guess what had happened when he found her.
"Helena Sotomayor?" you asked, venom filling your voice. You didn't have anything against her or what she did, but jealousy wasn't something you could avoid easily, especially if you knew how Javier felt about her.
"Si"  his voice got deeper as he got angrier, "habrá una reunión de narcos en Medellín, y se irá a la fiesta que harán después"
(Yes, there's gonna be a reunion of narcos in Medellín, and she's leaving for the party they're hosting after)
"And what? You can't get another girl for the night?" you snarled, your tone hard and resentful. Steve looked at you with his eyes wide open, subconsciously getting closer to Javi.
"It's not about that!" Javier raised his arms exasperated, "you don't seem to understand. There's gonna be a meeting with different leaders of cartels, and they're surely planning something"
You scoffed, "yeah idiot, I get that! What I mean is what the hell are you searching for that has to do with her?"
Suddenly his back straightened, and you knew you weren't going to like what he was gonna say next.
"I need to fill a visa request for her"
You felt how your face got red and warmth spread through your body, filling it with jealousy and anger. Your eyes crossed with his and suddenly it had turned into yet another one of your fights. So that's what was bothering him. 
Steve looked at Javi, alarmed. 
"Is your informant really a prostitute?"
Javi didn't even look at him, "Everybody works for somebody"
You abruptly stood up and took your jacket off of your chair's back, walking fast towards the exit.
"A dónde carajos vas?" (where the fuck are you going?) he screamed, fisting his hands at his sides.
You turned around and showed him the finger.
"It's none of your fucking business!"
Javier and Steve stood there as you left, stunned. Your heels making a clicking sound that resonated in the office. Javier was used to your fighting and your screaming, it was part of your dynamic, but he didn't understand why you had reacted so bad this time. Sure, he knew you weren't fond of his way of finding intel, but you never really did more than glare or tease. This was new.
"Is it always like this with you two?" Steve asked. Javi moved his head from side to side, crinkling his eyes.
"A little less explosive, but yes"
Steve let out a sigh. This was going to be some long couple of months (or years?) for him, he just knew it.
As you walked, your eyes started to fill with tears, but you didn't know if it was out of rage or hurt. You were not one to cry, so you wiped them before they fell and rounded the corner to the right towards the diner you usually ate at.
Once you crossed the street and rounded another corner to the left, in the middle of the street was a big sign that spelled Salomé in cursive. You got inside and sat down at the table from the corner, taking out the money of your jacket's pocket. Catalina (or Cata), the cute old lady that managed it, smiled at you from the counter and walked towards you. You smiled back, doing your best to conceal your feelings.
"Qué hace mi niña preciosa aqui?" (what is my precious girl doing here?) . Her voice was soft, filled with affection. His tone was motherly and you knew she had noticed something was wrong.
You smiled sadly at her. "Solo tengo hambre"( I'm just hungry )
 Cata immediately sat down in the chair across you and took your hands between hers. She heard something off in your voice, and she didn't like it one bit.
"Ahora qué hizo ese chamaco malcriado?" (What did that spoiled brat do now?) Her tone changed to playful but angry in a matter of seconds, her frown accentuated even more than it already was by her age.
You shook your head, laughing. Cata was also very fond of Javi, but she knew how much of an idiot he could be. Surprisingly, you had met her before he had, one time you were hungry and the food at the Embassy didn't sound very appealing to your ears or stomach.
"Nada Catita, ya sabes cómo es" (Nothing Catita, you know how he is). You tried to smile and she cupped your head between her hands, caressing your face with his thumb. You put your hand above hers and gave it a soft squeeze.
"Qué quiere comer mi niña?" (What do you want to eat my girl?)
A grin spread across your cheeks. "Ajiaco con pollo, porfa." (Ajiaco with chicken, please. it's a typical food in Colombia, commonly found in Bogotá. It consists of shredded chicken, pastusa, sabanera and/or creole potato, corn and maybe cream milk)
She nodded and stood up, sadness forgotten for a moment.
"Con aguacate y arroz aparte?" (with avocado and rice aside?)
You nodded eagerly. "Sabes que si" (you know it)
The curtains hiding the kitchen opened to her as she walked inside to cook your food. Your heart warmed and clenched a little at how much love she showed you every time you came here, how she genuinely cared for you.
The tablecloth was made of white lace, and you passed your fingers through the surface. It felt gritty to the touch, but its beauty completely overshadowed it. Cata had gifted you one to take home once, and it was now decorating your little table at the living room in the apartment.
The noises of Bogotá surrounded you. It was easy to hear children playing and their mothers screaming at them; people selling fruits, clothes, arguing and laughing. People doing their best to keep living, even with the crisis they were dealing with, the number of narcos that were raising and how much hell they were surely about to unleash in this beautiful country.
 It was your job to stop them, to do your best at helping these people get their normal lives back. 
The sound of Cata approaching took you out of your thoughts.
"Aquí está mi dulce niña, justo como le gusta" (here it is my sweet girl, just how you like it)
You took the plate of food and tilted your head, thankful. "Gracias Cata" (thank you Cata)
You quickly set your spoon to the food and as you took the first bite, everything you were worried about banished for a second. Javier, the DEA, Escobar, Steve, everything flew out the window.
That's why you had come, because everything could be forgotten for a moment if you choose the right dish to stuff your mouth with.
Cata laughed at your eagerness, patting your shoulder with her soft hand. "Tranquilícese muñequita, que la comida no se le va a ir" (Calm down little doll, the food is not going to get away)
With your mouth full you could only nod, giving her an apologetic smile. She shook her head, eyes soft as they looked at you.
The rest of your meal was spent in silence, his presence comforting to your aching heart. She knew when to speak and when to stay silent, you always talked when you wanted to and it was pointless to try and make you.
Once you finished, you took a napkin and cleaned your mouth, handing her much more money than the food cost. She immediately gave it back to you, shaking her head.
"no no mi niña, llévese eso." (no no my girl, take that away)
Standing up, you took her hand and placed the money in her palm. 
"Yo no lo necesito Catita" (I don't need it Catita) With a kiss to the top of her head, you swiftly got out of there, her sigh reaching your ears as you walked back to the Embassy. 
You felt much lighter, the pain in your chest gone and your muscles relaxed. You entered the building and walked down the stairs to the basement, heading straight to your desk. Javi was sitting at his, filling what you guessed was the visa request for Helena. You didn't give it importance, sitting down at your chair and stripping off your jacket. The office was getting hot again, so you tied your hair up in a ponytail and started working as if nothing had happened.
Steve gives you a funny look from his seat between your desks. He won't have his own for at least a week, so either you let him use part of yours or Javier will.
You pray he's an organized person and wave at him.
"Come on Miami, get over here"
He sits straight and gives you a visual similar to a puppy being called, then stands up to pull his chair to sit across you. His desk will probably be on the opposite wall of yours anyway, may as well get used to his face.
"Do you need help with anything?"
His words sound like heaven in your ears, and you're sure your eyes even sparkle a little bit. Finally, someone is going to help you.
"Could you help me fill these formats, please? I'm sure you know how to"
He laughs a little and takes the bunch of documents you're handing him, nodding. He never liked doing paperwork either but didn't hate it as much as Peña seemed to do. He can't help but think that leaving you with everything is too much of a dick move and decides to help you as much as he can from now on.
Both of you start to work without another word, the air feeling a little tense now that Steve feels like less of a stranger at the office. He can't do much about the rigidness between the two of you, though.
Javier raises his head from the request he's filling out and a pang on his chest makes itself present once he gets a good look at the scene in front of him.
In all the time he's known you, he has never seen you so relaxed while working. Your cheeks are flushed from the heat that's enveloping the entire place, strands of hair falling to your face as you're bent over whatever document you're working on. Your shoulders are less tense than he's seen in weeks, and he can even see a faint smile forming at your lips. Steve is reading through the papers you gave him, his posture loose and easy.
With new people, you're usually slow to warm up to, you hate anyone who isn't him getting close at your workplace, and even then you're hesitant. Despite this, you seem to be getting used to Murphy pretty quickly, and the thought creates a knot right at the center of his stomach. 
He shakes the thought out of his head and keeps working on the visa request, but he can't shake the warm, burning feeling that has spread all over his body.
The day goes quickly, with Murphy helping you with everything you ask for and things getting easier between you two. With every laugh and joke the two of you exchange, Javier feels his body get hotter and hotter, but refuses to acknowledge it. 
Soon it's time to leave and for the first time in weeks, you don't need to stay late.
"Vamonos compañera" (let's go partner) Javier says, but his words come out hard and tense.
It only gets worse when you shake your head as you stand up.
"Hoy no Javier, tomaré el colectivo" (not today Javier, I'm taking the bus)
He grits his teeth and fists his hands at his sides but otherwise nods. He takes his jacket off the rack and rounds his desk, waiting for you and Steve to walk in front of him.
As the three of you get out of the building,the sun has barely set and it's a good change from the pitch black night you had gotten used to. You bid each other goodbye and he silently watches how you walk alongside Murphy through the alley with a clenching heart and a hot face, jumping into his Jeep and closing the door with much more force than necessary.
"pinche gringo" (fucking gringo) he mutters as he drives away.
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haipain · 6 years
Note
Hihihi!!! Joining the celebration✨ "We can't do this" kisses with Haiba Lev, in a Mafia AU? I'm a sucker for Mafia!Lev. Reader is a detective investigating his gang but they're falling in love and oh, no! Thanks so much, and congrats✨♥️
hihi! i hope this is okay, this was so much fun to write (i rewrote this 3 times bless) 💕
i’m just going to include a trigger warning: hints at violence? just in case anyone is sensitive to things like that!
also kmn its only been 3 weeks but my writing skills have become rusty af HAHA whyyyy
“Well, if it isn’t my favourite detective!”
The voice comes from behind you, one that was definitely recognisable — the way it flowed so smoothly, low and knee-buckling. There was no doubt, it was him.
Haiba Lev. 
Almost instantly, you freeze, joints locking up and goosebumps spreading across your skin as you spin around, making sure to arrange your features into one of annoyance.
“Snooping around again?” He grins, a childish air of delight surrounding him as your noses touche. A wave of nervousness hits you as your heart begins to thump wildly, and an involuntary reaction follows, causing Lev’s grin to turn into a full-blown smile.
Everything about him was pushing your boundaries — his job, his demeanour, just… everything. Was there ever a person that managed to rile you up in every way possible? If there wasn’t, now there was, and he was standing in front of you.
“I’m off duty right now,” you reply as nonchalantly as possible, turning your head to face the busy road. Lev chuckles, poking his index finger into your cheek.
“Off duty… Hm, so why are you near my home? It’s pretty boring in this district, there isn’t really a reason for you to be around here… unless-” he stops, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you so close, to the point where you could smell the very faint smell of shampoo lingering on his skin.
“You came here to see me?” He teases, letting you go and taking a step back.
“I don’t recall this district being owned by you, it’s my free will to walk where I want to,” you snort, pushing yourself off the wall. Except, what he said was true. It left a bitter taste in your mouth to admit it to yourself, but you were actually hoping to catch a glimpse of him.
“Relax, I was just kidding,” strong fingers wrap around your wrist, and you are pulled back with force — right into his arms. “Since you’re off duty, that means you’re not a detective now, so,” he mumbles, dropping his voice into a whisper breath tickling your neck. “Shall we go on a date?”
“No,” you respond swiftly, reaching a hand up to your neck and rubbing it to rid it of the ticklish feeling. “I’m still a law enforcer, you’re a mafia leader, we don’t mix outside of my wo-”
Lev tilts his head in mild frustration, brows knitted closely together, mouth pushed into a pout. “So? Like I said, right now you aren’t a detective, so why not?”
“Then, I can ask you the same thing,” you breathe a sigh of annoyance. This boy was not good for your heart, and honestly, right now, apart from his appearance and height, he definitely didn’t fit the mould of the leader of a gang. A kindergarten teacher maybe, but not a mafia leader. It felt as though you were chastising a child. “Why do you want to go on a date with me?”
“Because I like you.” Woah, no hesitance there — you had an inkling on how he felt about you, and figured that he probably knows about your feelings as well. Yet to hear it straight out of his mouth, despite the number of times he had said it… it still catches you off guard every time.
“Well, that’s a no, and I’ve got to get going, enough of playing games here.” With a rush of words, you quickly slip out of his embrace and left before he could make any more retorts.
That was close… I almost agreed.
Ever since you met Lev, you crafted a ritual that had grown on you, one that you stuck to religiously.
Walking to the room near the end, you push open the door and stare at the wall filled with pictures. 
Specifically, they were various pictures of Lev stuck to your wall, each marked with a red marker, the date and activity taking place. By now, you had known that there was an issue with what you were doing. Yet, you found it really hard to stop — and so this ritual had now gone on for months on end, with each greeting piercing your heart, increasing the guilt that made itself home in you.
“I’m home, Lev.”
Initially, you had convinced yourself that this was solely due to your investigations on him, it was nothing weird — in fact, you argued that it was necessary, because it was part of your job. There was nothing weird about taking pictures of his group and trying to connect the dots together, to figure out the business his gang was taking part in, so that you could get the crucial evidence necessary to throw him in jail.
But it slowly became clear that there was an issue. Bit by bit, the entire wall was filled with pictures of him, even when he’s not doing anything suspicious, even when all he was doing, was simply taking a walk around the neighbourhood. Bit by bit, the notes you penned down were beginning to be a little more intimate and frankly, part of you were horrified at how you were alright with doing this, but the other half of you simply felt pure bliss. And bit by bit, you find yourself roaming around areas he frequented. This wasn’t right, and you were aware. Yet, being aware didn’t automatically translate into jumping headfirst into fixing the problem. How could you, when you had actually enjoyed doing this?
“What should I do?” you murmur to no one in particular, brushing your finger against the most recent picture, the one taken during your previous encounter with him. His smile is teasing, and nose slightly scrunched up in an attempt to imitate your frowning face.
Taboo, would be the word to describe the relationship. It didn’t feel right to keep tugging back and forth, without ever settling the burning pit of emotions within the two of you — a closure felt in place. This had gone on for far too long, it was simply far too unhealthy for both you and him.
“I like you, I really do.” Sliding your eyes shut, you leaned your forehead against the wall, the cold jolting you a little. “Ironic, isn’t it? We both like one another, yet we can’t be together… Dating you is not even in the question…” you pluck one picture off the wall, hugging it to your chest as you flopped onto your back. “So I guess I’ll just have to be satisfied with the pictures in this room, don’t I?”
This is for the best, you repeated in your mind, all while feeling the cool metal of your phone in your hands feel as though they were about to melt off your skin. Slight hesitation takes hold of you as you scrolled through your contacts, fingers pausing at one contact. Then, with a determined push, you press on it, watching as the call connected.
“Hello?”
“Good evening sir, I… have a request. Its regarding the investigation on Haiba Lev.”
“Oh! If it isn’t pipsqueak!” Lev pipes up, the usual charming grin plastered all over his face. “What a coincidence! Or is it really? Who knows, maybe you’ve actually come to meet me-”
“Actually, I did,” you shrugged, as if it meant nothing to you, when in actuality, your stomach were in knots and hands clammy from nerves and being in the cold for the past hour.
“Ah!” His face lights up as he speaks, eyes glinting with mischief. “You’re here to confess your love for me, aren’t you?”
“Spot on, Haiba.”
Now the roles have reversed; he freezes, a small blush rising to his cheeks. If you two had any other roles than the one you held currently, this would’ve been a very heart-warming scene. Except it wasn’t, and confessing your love for him wasn’t all you had in mind.
In all fairness, you were never the calmest detective around. In fact, it’s the exact opposite, you were rash, hot-headed, though you suppose that came with its own benefits. So, with a quick pull, and the tip of your toes, you pull him into a kiss, the warmth of his lips spreading across your own, making your toes tingle comfortably. Your brows were drawn close together, heart pulsating wildly in your chest and jaw clenched tight as frustration crashes down on you, because the sheer helplessness you felt was nauseating.
Right now, it was probable that Lev knew what was up. While childish, he was impossibly perceptive at times, and now was just one such instance. His gaze had revealed his thoughts. Time seemed to stand still, with the only things moving being your chests and the little puffs of white clouds formed by heavy breathing.
Lev was the first to speak.
“Wow,” he huffs. And then, taking a look at your face, he continues, a frown similar to yours now on his face, his voice taking on a colder tone — one you had heard him use during business deals. A shiver runs through your body as you took care to tread as carefully as possible. “There’s something else you want to say, isn’t it?”
“I think you’ve known this for some time now, but yes, I do like you.”
Silence fills the air as he waits for you to resume, watching as you squeezed your eyes shut, clenching your fists, as though it was causing you pain to do this.
“But we can’t be together, we were never meant to be, I’m a detective and you’re the leader of the mafia — the difference is too stark, we are on opposite sides-”
“So you’re scared, is that what you’re telling me?”
“… It’s against my morals.”
“Morals? A load of bullshit.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s just impossible. I’m here to tell you this because I thought it’d be good to get proper closure, since we won’t be seeing each other anymore as I’m not longer investigating you.”
He runs his hand through his hair, a chuckle escaping his lips. Love was an abstract concept, one that he never really grasped, but looking down at you now, his primal instinct was to grab you and lock you up so that you could never leave him. Lovers you two were not, yet he felt so possessive of you. The more you couldn’t belong to him, the more he wants you — no one else except him should have you, you are his. This was such a stupid reason for you to leave him. Morals or not, right or wrong, he doesn’t care. What matters to him is that he obtains you, your heart, your body, your everything.
Pain spreads through your scalp as he tugs roughly on your hair, pressing yet another kiss on your lips, but this time round, it was rougher and harder. As he watches the saliva trail joining both of your lips together, he flashes a crafty smirk.
“Did you really think I’d just accept this?”
Oh no. Fear strikes you, and it’s all of a sudden that you realise — he’s a mafia leader. Of course this wouldn’t go swimmingly. How naive were you to think that’d happen? All this time, you were focused on your roles and feelings, spending time horsing around… it made you drop your guard and fail to take into account just how he actually was as a person. The childish persona? While very much true, that wasn’t all to him. Haiba Lev didn’t rise up to be a leader of a gang at the tender age of 19 just because he was sweet and kind and funny. No, there was just a single thing about him that differed. Because, what Haiba Lev wants, Haiba Lev gets. The method doesn’t matter — the goal does. And so, he’d do anything to attain what he wants, even if it means…
“How silly of you. But don’t worry your pretty little head, since you said we can’t be together in this life,” he hums happily, brushing a thumb against your trembling blue lips, watching as terror began to seep into your eyes. “I have a solution.”
“We can be together in death, isn’t that perfect?”
Death.
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light-puns · 6 years
Note
Cute drabble with Kat? Maybe Lux looking after him or something? They're so cute!!
// First of all Nonni, you are my favorite ever. @lotus-of-noxus‘s Kat, in case anyone wasn’t aware. 
The sound of her shallow pants are too loud even in her ownears as she pulls up, twisting around in the maze of Demacian forest. This isn’tan area she frequents, this isn’t an area any human frequents really. Thisforest is endless and dark, it ranges for miles across the land, and there is areason the locals stay out of these woods. The call that echoes off the trees isguttural and screeching as her hunter rounds the bend down from her. Its eyesare sightless, but it can smell her, even among the murky scents here. Too manylimbs pull it along, its movements clumsy and wild but brutal in strength.
Lux’s hand raises, another step backwards, the light shegathers in her palm is warm and comforting, it twists refining itself into aweapon. It’s hard to focus on the spell through the earsplitting cries of the thingcharging her. She’s about to close her eyes to try and focus when the flash ofsomething catches her attention. It takes her a moment to realize it’s aperson, and what she’s spotted is the glint off a blade.
Hesitation.
She snaps her hand closed and breaks the channel on thespell, it spares whoever is behind the thing. However, now she is left facingdown this monster’s maw as it lifts a hand, or what might have once been ahand. Magic has twisted it into something gaunt and claw-like, but she isn’tlooking at the thing before her, her eyes are past it.
“Kat?” The name falls from her lips in absolute confusion.He’s not supposed to be here, he’s out on a mission, following rumors, nothere, in the darkness of this forest. Yet, that has to be whom it is, has tobe, those eyes are unmistakable. He’s screaming at her, something she can’tquite make out and then she’s being slammed into the nearest tree and there isblood. It’s wet and warm across her arm but there is no pain, so it can’t be her blood.  
There is a moment of abject horror as she realizes what is splatteredup her arm and across her cheek is his blood. It’s a flurry of motion afterthat, she’s screaming, he’s talking, the creature is shrieking and; the lightthat explodes from her hand in the dim illumination of the forest is asblinding as her anger. It’s searing in color and crackles with electricity,when it finally fades into a seeable state the creature is no longer there andKat is grabbing her wrist and dragging her with him. She stumbles after him,confused, but allowing him to lead them from the tangle of trees, she doesn’task how he knows the way out.
Once out of the grove he pauses as if he’s thinking about something,but Lux is a burst of motion, her hand grasping his. Her fingers are tightaround his wrist, there is an almost nervous nature to her hold.
“Come.” It’s a command as she pulls him along, deeper intosomewhere he really aught naught be. Demacia is never safe for him, but her innis close, and he’s injured. He doesn’t say anything though the brow arch saysenough for him. There is a cheeky comment on his tongue, but he eats it at herglare. There is blood pouring down his side, as she sneaks him through the townand into The Stallion inn, drawing him through the hallways and into her rooms.
“Where are you hurt?” Her tone was fraught with worry as shepushed him a little deeper into the rooms, locking the door behind her.
“It’s fine, Lux.” His manner was amused as he eyed her, butshe didn’t seem intent upon stopping as she pushed his jacket off his shouldersher hands deft in their movements as she moved his shirt up. Having to followhim as he tried to step out of her hold and create space between them.
“So forceful tonight little bird.” The lilt to his voice didlittle to assuage her worry as she finally managed to peel the tatters of hisshirt away from the gashes along his side. It was amazing he was still standing,they were deep, ragged, and already looked infected. She winced before easinghis shirt over his head with his assistance.
“Not now Kat, you can tease me after I fix this. Lights, I’mso sorry.” She pushed him towards her bed before moving throughout the trio ofrooms that were hers. Picking up a medical kit, a water basin, several cloths,she moved back towards him stopping when she found him not sitting on her bedlike she’d intended but on the chaise by the window.
“Wasn’t your fault Lux.” His tone was soft, an amused littlehuff escaping him as she panicked about him. Never lighting in one spot forvery long, entirely reminiscent of the ‘little bird’ he often called her.
“Hnn.” Was the only answer she gave as she motioned him tolay out. “Down.” Another command, she was all about orders tonight, as sheangled herself beside him. Her touches were light, gentle as she cleaned thearea of blood, she didn’t take note of his silence, too focused on her work.
“Ah, these are deep, it’s going to feel warm for a secondwhile I burn away infection.” This was Demacia, she wasn’t supposed to usemagic here, but the thought didn’t even occur to her as she placed a pale handover the gashes focusing on the fire element for a moment to sear the possibilityfor contamination from the wounds along his side.
“If only you touched me this tenderly when I wasn’t injured.”The cheeky comment had her gritting her teeth for a moment. She leaned forwardslightly to glare at him. How he still had the energy for such smartass remarkswas beyond her.
“Can you not be sassy right now? You’re bleeding out on mychaise.” Lux gave him a pointed look which only earned her an unrepentant grinfrom the redhead. She rolled her eyes before leaning back to poke at theinjuries for a moment. “Lights, Kat I really am sorry, this is going to hurt.” Hertone was so apologetic as she threaded the needle and bit her lower lip,getting only a half assed handwave from the man.
The stitching was a swift process, or as swift as she couldmake it. Nice neat little lines closing the four slices along his back and uphis side. Once she’d tied off the last stitch she rested her hand against it,she shouldn’t. It had been her fault though, he’d gotten hurt because of her ownineptitudes. These marks would be on his body because of her. It was the least she could do.
“All patched up doc?” His voice was a lazy drawl, he soundedtired or maybe that was her projecting.
“Not yet, just, don’t move for a second.” Lux’s voice wavered,and he seemed to pick up on that because he glanced over his shoulder at herwith an arched brow. She shook her head at him, a small motion which only hadhim arching his brow a bit more.
“Lux?” His question was met with another head shake as she puther hand on his side, the same way she had before when channeling the fireelement. Her eyes fluttered shut for a second, though she could feel the way hewas searching her features.
Lux dug deep, touching into her center, immersing herself init for a moment before tugging at the strands of her own life essence, bindingit with light energy and in a makeshift spell she shouldn’t be using to help urgethe knitting of Kat’s flesh back together. She was no healer, that trait wasn’tin her repertoire of skills, not in the traditional sense. However, with somesacrifice on her end and a bit of energy from both herself and him she could atleast encourage the mending process to go a bit faster.
His magic answered her easily as she dipped the soft hues oflight along his wounds. Reaching out with her energy towards his own, the warmwelcoming blaze from his magic eased something in her, it always did. To hiscredit Kat didn’t move until her hand trembled against him. Then his hand wason hers and he was sitting up breaking her concentration.
“Hey.” His voice was soft, almost confused, that rare one heused.
“Hello.” She smiled leaning down to pick up the wrappingsshe’d brought with her and proceeded to pointedly ignore the way he watched heras she wrapped his mid-section.
“Going to tell me what that was?” She shook her head beforecasting another grin up at him.
“Come on.” She kept her smile as she stood tugging on hishand to pull him towards the bed. “Shoes off. Sleep. Don’t make me cast a spellon you.” A relatively shallow threat, though she just might if he fought her overmuch.When he didn’t really argue with her, and instead flopped out in the small innbed Lux tilted her head. Now that was odd, but she supposed it could be bloodloss mingled with an adrenaline crash, so she let it go.
Lux set about tidying up the room putting things back wherethey went before moving to sit beside him on the bed. She took a few moments tojust watch him, before moving her hand out to rest against his forehead,feeling for any signs of a fever. The fingers around her wrist had her startingslightly before he was smirking up at her from under her palm.
“Stop worrying little bird, I’m fine.” His tone was amusedbut it didn’t quite have the same swagger it normally did. Now that she thoughtabout it, he hadn’t been nearly as obnoxious this entire time. She leaned backa moment eyeing him, watching his face, before she moved to flop next to himpulling him towards her till she had him situated with his head on her abdomen,so she could pet him at her leisure. He didn’t seem terribly bothered by thechange in position if the amused huff was anything to go by.
“So, what are you thinking about?” Her phrasing wasconversational as she ran her hand through his hair reaching her free one outto tangle with his fingers giving a small pulse of her own magic in the process.It was how they showed support, how they spoke, a language between just the twoof them. The only person in the world that connected with that part of her.
“How comfortable a pillow you make.” There was a cockyamusement to his voice that had her rolling her eyes. Well, at least he wasn’tbroken, that was good to know. She’d worried there for a moment that maybe she’dscrambled his brain with the magical blast in the forest.
“Right, so what are you really thinking about?” Heramusement was evident in the way she spoke, the slight squeeze she gave to hishand and the affectionate sigh. This was more contact than was typical for them,but it felt, nice, right. Even as shejust lazily let her magic tangle with his, the same way her fingers had. Luxglanced towards his hand noting that at some point he’d shed his gloves, butshe wasn’t sure when. She should get up and change out of her clothes, theywere bloody, but then so were his pants and he didn’t seem like he reallycared.
He didn’t answer her, for so long that she thought he mightnot at all. He was just laying against her, staring at the ceiling of theirtiny inn room, his breathing even but not deep. A soft sound escaped him,something like an exasperated grumble and a sigh of frustration. He wasfighting with something inside himself, some inner battle that she desperately wantedto ease.
“Should have just, moved differently is all. Shouldn’t haveeven happened, was stupid.” His tone is nonchalant as he speaks about it. Yetthere is something in the tenseness of his shoulders and the way he’s beenstaring at the ceiling this whole time that has her sitting up slightly to lookat him.
“Mistakes happen, Kat. It’s not your fault, I should havemoved, you were just rescuing me, wasn’t your mistake, it was mine.” Her words aredistant as she tries to reply the fight in her mind but it’s blurry at best.She can feel some of the tenseness leave his shoulders, but he still seemsunhappy, so she curls a bit closer wrapping around him slightly to place a kissto his bare shoulder. It’s strangely affectionate but has the desired effect ofcausing him to look at her, green eyes curious and amused. She can’t stop himfrom thinking about it in the long run, but she can distract him right now.
“Why Luxanna, I never knew you could be so bold.” His voice is teasing and he takes the teeth against his shoulder in stride. It’s an angrylittle nip followed by a swat to the head before she’s trying to roll away.
Never mind, let him stew in his own thoughts. He was clearlyfine.
He stops her though moving with a speed her really shouldn’tposses after being injured. He’s half leaned over her smirking and she’salready done with his nonsense. His hand is still tangled with hers and theslight pulse of magic only makes her roll her eyes. It’s not exactly anapology, but it’s his own version of affection between the two of them.
“Don’t stress your wound idiot.” She’s glaring lightly, andhe just seems to find this all the more entertaining. He’s not moving though evenwhen she pushes against his arm with absolutely zero real intent to move him.
“We’re all allowed to make mistakes Kat. You know, thatright? I make them all the time. It’s alright, don’t beat yourself up over itokay? You’re too good for that, and you’re worth it to me.” Her voice iswhisper soft as she sits up slightly to place a kiss feather light over the scaron his eye and when she lays back there is a moment. It’s brief, but it almostlooks like vulnerability flashes across his face before he’s flopping outbeside her, though he doesn’t untangle their fingers. She doesn’t explain whathe’s worth to her, or what she means by the comment and he doesn’t ask.
“Goodnight little bird.”
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onrainynights · 4 years
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So I'm about to tell y'all a tale, buckle up. Everything here is 100% true, except names are changed or shortened because duh. Also warning there is slightly nsfw content, nothing explicit and only mentioned but still warrants a warning.
So, I'm 17, almost 18. I'm a high school senior. The story starts almost two years ago, in the fall of 2018. I was a sophomore. One of my best friends, V, was in our school's show choir for the first time, and had made friends with a new guy one year our senior who was also in slow choir. I knew before I met him that he was gay, because V told me. This guy can be called E. One day, he sits at our lunch table and I'm not really paying attention to his conversation with V, I'm just eating my lunch. But then I look up and my first thought when I see him is "eyebrows" because he has really thick eyebrows and then "wow he's actually really cute." He was the first person I was attracted to in over 2 years. I proceed to ask V all about him while admiring him from afar for several months. At this point its nothing more than attraction because I've never really had a conversation with him. Then, in the spring, I volunteered at the show choir competition my school hosted. I ended up talking to him (yay), and he hugs me within minutes of meeting me. One of the first things I ever say to him is "I like your eyebrows." Things are slightly awkward, because I'm an awkward person, and so is he, but it's pleasant. Unfortunately I don't get to spend too much time with him because we both had things we needed to do and there was A LOT of drama that night not involving either of us.
After that point we would talk occasionally but never really got to know each other, UNTIL fall of my junior year and his senior year. By this point I had a crush, but it wasn't more than that and I didn't feel we knew each other well enough to warrant me telling him my feelings. We were both in the fall musical. At auditions, we were friendly. Except he asked me about J, a guy one year younger than me, who was also just as gay as both me and E. The way he asked me "Who is that?" I knew, immediately, that he was attracted to J. He sounded exactly like I did when I first asked V about E after seeing him for the first time.
Regardless, E and me talked a lot more during rehearsals, though we usually kept our conversations light in topic. We flowed well, and he was just as physically affectionate as I was. After a few weeks, I see him cuddling with J during rehearsal, and a friend informs me they started dating. I asked them both questions about how it started—a Snapchat story, go figure. At first I was jealous, but I saw how happy E seemed, and that was all that mattered. But I didn't really know J, like at all other than his name, so I started spending as much time as I could with the both of them. They were a cute couple, I have to admit, but they always did PDA because of J's homophobic family. They only ever saw each other at school.
The first time I talked to J without E there, we bonded. I don't remember over what. The next time, we were alone because I pulled him aside after he made a dirty joke that I honestly couldn't tell if he meant (he did. It was hilarious, and I told him up-front that I wanted to be friends with him. He enthusiastically agreed.) The time after that, it was because I decided he should know about my feelings for E. I didn't want him to potentially find out later on and think I was trying to steal his boyfriend. He was amazingly mature. He said he felt bad for taking E from me when I had liked him longer, but I assured him that E didn't belong to me by any means and besides, J made E happy and that was all I cared about. I think I was already in love with E by this point but I didn't know it yet. J and I joked about my feelings for E whenever we were alone. We got along really well and it was a great time.
One time I cuddled with them, and it was nice, and when E had to get up J and I kept cuddling and talked about how much we both just wanted E to be happy. It was really nice.
And then, closer to the opening night of the show when the set was being built and there were more places to be out of sight, something strange happened. Now, earlier when I said PDA I meant they made out in front of others frequently, and the first time they did anything sexual with each other was in a well-known security camera blind spot in the upstairs math hall after all the teachers had gone home. I know that because J and E (mostly J) liked to tell me about their sex life. In fact, I knew more about their relationship than most people probably did.
So we were backstage one day, when E wasn't needed on-stage much despite playing a main character. There were two prop chairs between the three of us. J sat on E's lap on the chair that had a higher back and I sat as close to them as I could in an office chair. They weren't kissing or anything, just talking.
It was innocent, at first. But then J started working E up, if you know what I mean. It wasn't really uncomfortable for me, because J somehow made me feel ~included~ in their activities. He would whisper something lewd to E, who would blush or say something back, and then would tell me about how affected E was, how hard he was. At some point I think E mentioned not wanting to come in his pants, but I'm not sure. I kinda forced myself not to look into this event after it happened, so the details are a bit fuzzy. Eventually, E made J stop because he had to go on stage soon and didn't want to have a boner while pretending to be straight. J and I talked afterwards, but I don't remember what about, and it was never mentioned between us again. I'm fairly sure that J was a bit of an exhibitionist, and that E wasn't really one but wasn't opposed to what J was doing, either.
Honestly, in hindsight, I'm not sure what to think about this, because I was always so certain they both viewed me 100% platonically, but then they included me in their "sexytimes" without hesitation. In fact, at one point a plan was in place for me to room with them on an overnight trip so that they could do the do without making their roommate uncomfortable. They were both fully aware that I was probably the only person who didn't mind their PDA, and that sentiment may seem incongruous for a love triangle such as this, but I never questioned it. I loved E selflessly, and so it made me happy to see him happy, no matter what—or who—was doing so. Also, I think perhaps I was crushing on J at some point, but I'm not sure. These screenshots are of me explaining the event to a very close friend a few days ago after the shock wore off that I hadn't told her about it as soon as it happened.
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At some point, a mutual good friend of mine and E's, who we'll call A, hosted a party for the cast of our musical. I'm not sure if this was before or after the casual exhibitionism incident, but I'm inclined to think it was before.
This party did not involve alcohol of any kind because theatre kids don't need any to make a party unique, wild, and totally unforgettable. It was small, with maybe 20 people at its peak. E and I were there and J was not, because his family thoroughly sucked ass. Anyway, at that party E told me he was in love with J, and wanted to marry him some day. I, obviously, thought that was kinda crazy to say after knowing each other for two months, but I held my tongue because E smiled so widely when he said it. Later that same night, everyone was sitting around a fire, playing a game somewhat similar to truth or dare. Due to a lack of seating, E ended up sitting on my lap for most of the game, which lasted over an hour, my hands around his waist. It was very nice, and when he got up he laughed and said he forgot he was sitting on my lap. He forgot little things like that a lot. I always found it endearing.
Then the show performed and then it was over, and I didn't get to talk to E again until a few months later, and I never talked to J again. Unlike most teens, I do not talk to people online /through text unless I already know them super super well. I hate getting to know people over text. By the time I see E again, because he's the student assistant in my choir class that semester, he and J have broken up. It was messy, and E is hurt. They're on-again-off-again for several months, but I can never forgive J for hurting E, not when he had talked about only wanting E to be happy. Despite that, I wish I could have spent more time with J. He was a good person, but he and E had a toxic relationship after the honeymoon stage, I think because J simply was not ready to be in a serious relationship. (A agrees with me fully on this.)
So E talks with me and a mutual "friend" (we're all friendly but I wouldn't consider this person a friend. Funnily enough, he also had a crush on E at some point, and we bonded over this. Funny how that happens.) about his relationship, and the things he says raise some red flags about J (including J doing something E didn't like during sex and then not stopping when E asked him to. I was very very angry at this but tried not to show it). It became clear to me that their relationship was toxic, but I didn't feel like I could do anything about it. In hindsight, I should have known their relationship was doomed a lot sooner.
Specifically, there was one point during the musical that J had to resolve things with his ex, who was a friend of mine (who I didn't know was queer and wasn't supposed to until E accidentally let it slip.) While J and his ex talked, I cuddled with E and reassured him that everything would be ok. He was convinced that J would cheat on him or get back with his ex. This lack of trust should have been a sign for me, but I didn't realize it until much, much later. I was focused on comforting E at the time and J couldn't have been farther from my mind.
Then, after E and J got back together again for the last time, covid happened, and school closed. I haven't spoken to E since, and no one knows what's going on with J. The only thing anyone knows is that they're not together anymore, and from what I can tell, they're not in contact at all and aren't going to get together again. E graduated, J is at a different school, and despite everything, I miss both of them.
Every day, I pass by a photo of E and A in the hallway of my school, and my heart swells, and I feel like crying. A graduated too, and she's moving thousands of miles away at the end of October for college. E is still living in our town, going to community college, but I never get to see him.
Our school is doing a fall play instead of a musical this year, and E and A are coming to visit and see a rehearsal before A moves away. It could be one of the last times, if not the last time, I get to see either of them. I'm going to tell E about my feelings, because for the first time since I realized my feelings for him were not skin-deep, he's single and not recovering from a nasty breakup. I'm not expecting him to return my feelings, but I'm expecting surprise. I've been very careful up to this point to keep my feelings from him—I thought it would be selfish to tell him when he wasn't emotionally available. A loves the idea—apparently she thinks someone confessing feelings for her after years would be sweet—but I know that if someone did that to me I might not be so happy. I would be shocked and surprised first, and then my reaction after that would depend on the person.
Also, to complicate all of this, I'm trans and he has expressed confusion about that before (poor guy is uneducated in that department, but not bigoted and certainly better than some gay men can be, but I still have no clue if my trans status would deter him from having feelings for me)
My feelings for this guy are deeper than anything I've ever felt before. I really love him, and I know that I'll regret it forever if I never tell him. His visit feels like it's as close to the right time as I'm gonna get, and it might be my last chance on top of that. I don't need him to return my feelings, but I need to know that I did everything I could to take my chances.
TL;DR: I'm a gay idiot but I'm finally gonna tell him how I feel
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rhythmoftxz-blog · 6 years
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