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#they’re based on people who are actually related in some way
punkpandapatrixk · 2 days
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Full Worm Moon in Libra ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card
Heey~ Yesterday/today is the first Full Moon of the astrological year!🍹Starting off this March, when the Sun is in Aries and the Full Moon is in Libra, the Human world is balancing good and evil⚖️Balancing Positive and Negative. Masculine and Feminine. Electric and Magnetic. Light and Dark. Yang and Yin☯️
With Libra’s aenergy, there are themes of JUSTICE taking place, and spiritually attuned peeps are going to see themselves flip🙃In a positive and empowered way, of course! In this event, take a look at your 7th House of relationships with others, which, ultimately is a reflection of your relationship with the unconscious part of yourself. 7th House is aspects/qualities/elements of ourselves we aren’t very conscious of unless we ‘make the effort to make the unconscious conscious’, says Carl Jung.
This Full Worm Moon in Libra, you will notice that your 7th House gets activated in such an empowered way that you will be rid of all shame and regret pertaining to all your 7th House-y-actions… Let’s make this make sense:
If whatever is in your 1st House makes you soft, polite, kind and gentle, to a point where you’ve often turned into a doormat, accommodating other people’s whimsical ego, you’ll now begin to see yourself embracing more of your SASS and general bitchiness that are already reflected by whatever is in your 7th House😾
If on the other hand, whatever is in your 1st House makes you unkind, argumentative, abrasive, competitive and generally conflicty, to a point where you’ve always been the mean girl or boy or whatever, you’ll see yourself mellow out significantly and suddenly able to reflect on the importance of being considerate, based on whatever sweetness is already in your 7th House🍬
This year, is a year we become whole by embracing ALL aspects of ourselves and turn it all into authentic personal power🪁
‘There is one thing stronger than all the armies of the world, and that is an idea whose time has come.’ – Victor Hugo
[Moon PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – You’ve Taken Care of Everybody’s Opinions
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L i g h t – Page of Pentacles
No matter your age, you feel like you’re still a student of Life, especially in terms of understanding Human relations. The reason for that, is that your heart is too pure for this world. Irrespective of age, you feel like you’re still grappling with understanding how some Humans can be so… bad. And you’ve wondered if maybe you’re the really bad person. You’ve been gaslit into questioning your own Soul. Your Soul is good, so good that you trust too easily because you see the positive in all situations. You’re an effervescent optimist! It’s taken you such a long time to realise it’s time you stopped considering other people too much.
Up until the time you find this reading, you’ve been hard at work in growing yourself, developing a stronger character by fully knowing what makes you, you. That way, you won’t be as easily swayed by other people’s opinions that seem to paint you in a bad light when you’ve literally been nothing but kind, understanding, and earnestly cooperative. Because you’ve been surrounded by people who earnestly want to dim your Light, because these people want to corrupt your Soul and take away your optimism, some of the noises of their opinions have become a permanent noise in the background of your mind.
D a r k – 3 of Swords
Sometimes, you find yourself gossiping about your ineptitude in your own mind. And you’re left brokenhearted wondering why you’re so lacking as a person. But, you do realise these aren’t your actual voice, right? Those are the opinions of those who have been exceedingly critical of you. They’re jealous more than anything; and because you’re so kind and take everybody seriously, you’ve taken even these shit opinions too seriously, all because you are by nature empathetic and considerate. But now, it’s perfectly safe for you to stop considering other people’s negative opinions of you.
If I’m being honest, you should fight back. Give ‘em a taste of their own medicine. And if that’s not your style, IGNORE ‘em. Completely ignore ‘em and remove them from your Reality and sooner than later, one way or another, you’ll hear from someone else how they’re doing pathetically now that you’re no longer part of their miserable life. And that, would serve them right. They didn’t treat you right when a person as kind and helpful as you were in their life; now let ‘em deal with their own karma~ Why should you care? Ungrateful bitches will never see anything good in Life anyway.
b a l a n c e – 10 of Cups Rx
For many of you resonating with this Pile, I sense the people who’ve given you so much of this particular brand of pain is family. Or perhaps, people you’ve considered to be best friends or your ‘tribe’ even. Of course, the pain of betrayal and abandonment coming from such people can be quite devastating. But, Imma share this thing I saw on Pinterest that goes something like,
‘My therapist told me that the reason family and closest friends can’t seem to support you is that they can’t stand the idea of you becoming something more than they could ever envision themselves to be. They can’t bear the idea that you’ve come from the same place, yet they’re still in the same place.’
WHOA. I think that applies to your situation with this reading.
This Full Worm Moon in Libra is validating your hard work at developing yourself to become a much greater version of what you were in the past. Those who aren’t happy with your progress, those who won’t support your dreams and goals, are you sure you still need them? Love yourself enough to know you deserve better company. ‘Family’ isn’t defined by blood—that’s literally only karmic bond—rather, it is a feeling of warmth and acceptance coming from those who make you feel that you do truly belong~
full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
Green Historian (Herodotus) & Priestess of Luck
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – Someone Like You Doesn’t Happen Every Day
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L i g h t – King of Wands
Are you aware that you’re gifted with this rare ability to absorb other people’s pain and transmute whatever bullshit causes them pain back to Light? Yeah I know, that doesn’t sound at all like a ‘gift’. But although having a gift such as this can be traumatising when you’re young, all of the spiritual work you’re doing will in time be rewarded 3000-fold! At the time you’re finding this reading, good karma is about to hit you back in the head LOL
I’d suggest you connect with your Higher Self and team of Spirit Guides and then try to find other PACs either on Tumblr or YouTube with keywords like ‘what’s your good karma returning to you?’ or something like that. The year 2024 is going to be very energetic for you. You’ve done A FUCKTON of spiritual work for other people and yourself, it is now time you’re taken care of by forces beyond the corporeal.
I sense very strongly Mother Earth herself and the fairy, sea, and animal kingdoms wanting to give back to you for all the aenergetic healing you’ve done for them as well. Bihh? Who are you?? XDD
D a r k – IX The Hermit Rx
You’re somebody who possesses a unique duality within. You’re like the sea itself. Beautiful, calming, deep, mesmerising, nurturing and soothing; but treat you wrong and you’re raging waves that can swallow and kill anything in your way. Actually, if everything were up to you, you’d want always to be on your good side and hope everybody views only this side of you. You’re so kind and charitable, more than people give you credit for. Alas…people are stoopid and ungrateful.
The problem that you often have with people is that they’re not decent enough. They don’t use enough common sense. They’re lacking in politeness. They don’t observe social conundrum. This kind of thing bothers the living shit out of you. You’ve a strong sense of rules. After being let down quite a bit, you’re now realising interacting with Humans is exhausting.
b a l a n c e – Knight of Cups Rx
In many ways, you’ve tried to minimise human interactions and that’s all fine. The Full Moon is just reminding you that you still have many good friends in the incorporeal realms. Although they can’t really be there for you in the physical, they can always be there for you aenergetically. You know most of them are telepathic, right? Try to connect more often to get healing energies from them~
Also, perhaps this isn’t immediate for all of you choosing this Pile, but there’s a strong feeling that you need to adopt a pet. There’s a pet animal somewhere in this world who’s your soulmate and they’re finding their way into your Life. If you already have a pet, be prepared to have a new family member~
If getting a pet isn’t resonating, there’s a sense that you could meet a Human soulmate when being in the presence of an animal. Be alert! Kyaaah~
full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei) & Priestess of Energy
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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – You Fear Your Own Superhuman Manifestation Power? Bitch??
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L i g h t – Knight of Pentacles
See, you’re a bit of a wild child—that’s how you’ve always been. But you’re not one without a plan! You’re a kid with visions most others couldn’t understand. Your inspirations and daydreams come from a much higher plane of consciousness. Because you’re daring, a lot of people you know probably think you’re reckless at best, crazy at worst. Or maybe it’s the other way around XD
Nevertheless, you’re the kid who realises ALL your dreams when you grow up because you really put in ALL the work necessary to make your dreams come true. In spite of oppositions, in spite of setbacks, in spite of heartbreaks, even after thoughts of giving up, there’s always something there deep within you that keeps recalibrating you to your original Divine Game Plan!
Why do you think that is? Because whatever you dream for yourself, it’s meant to happen. Life’s greatest joy is bearing witness to all of your hard work getting paid in kind. Most of all, paid in your spiritual satisfaction over all you’ve done with your Life~
D a r k – I The Magician Rx
Well, for many of you stumbling upon this Pile, you were probably attracted to another Pile which would likely be your main pile. If that is the case, this Pile is just serving to dig a bit deeper into some strange fears you have about your manifestation abilities. By nature, you are a master manifestor already. You can easily create Realities with just a thought. The occurrence of synchronicities with you is a lot, a loot higher than most people. At the time of stumbling upon this Pile, you’re probably already experiencing synchronicities by the hour!
You’re almost already ONE with your God Consciousness. This is a Creator Consciousness that only some VERY high-vibrational beings can have access to, let alone understand. If there is any semblance of fear in you regarding a VERY big manifestation you’re working on (or know you’re getting pretty soon) it’s probably related to how others are going to perceive you if you have all of these blessings, right? Hmm…?
b a l a n c e – 10 of Wands Rx
You fear that others are going to be envious of you. You fear losing connections with those whose hearts are not big enough to be happy with you when you have more. You fear even, to some extent, that you’re going to be seen as a villain because you seem to have it all so easily. When in reality, it’s not like you didn’t put in all the work—both the seen and the unseen! Nevertheless, you’re still bothered by this idea, fact even, that most people love a company in misery.
In that sense, there could be something in you that’s withholding this manifestation out of fear. It’s like…this manifestation can’t come to be until you give your permission for it to manifest in your physical. That said, this reading is just pointing out this unique mechanism in your manifestation in regards to your surrounding/environment hahah
There’s really not much else to say but that your Divine Timing is now decided by…You. God Creator. Are you ready…?
full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
Red Physician (Galen of Pergamon) & Priestess of Illumination
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
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inbarfink · 1 year
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One common Undertale misconception that really frustrates me is when Sans is portrayed with a strong innate sense for RESETs and alternative timelines. Like, that he remembers the RESET timelines better than the other characters who only have occasional feelings of deja vu or even that he can sense when a timeline is RESET.
And that’s, like, almost the opposite of the actual text of the game. While pretty much every main character can have slightly-different dialogue in a Not-True-RESET, especially if the Player had previously befriended them, based on the idea that they have lingering memories/feelings from before the RESET - 
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Sans has no real dialogue changes based on this conceit. All of his changes are based around noticing Frisk has different reactions based on their memories of the precious timelines. 
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Other characters do also make observations like that about Frisk, like Mettaton and Toriel. But Sans is distinctive because this is the only way his comments change between RESETs and there are a lot of them from him.
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Because that is what really frustrates me about this misconception. People mention it as one more thing that makes Sans cool - but the actual truth is far more badass. Sans is one of the people in the Underground who remembers RESETs the least. I think memory-resistance to RESETs is probably tied to Determination. Flowey, the second-most Determined person in the Underground after Frisk, can remember everything perfectly.
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Everyone else has some vague feelings and deja vus. And Sans, he’s the least motivated person in the Underground - both in the sense he’s lazy and in the sense he’s fucking depressed.
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That probably means he has very little Determination. Thus, he doesn’t remember anything that happens between RESETs.
And yet, he is still the character most aware of them. Because he has the technological know-how to read and analyze timelines.
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And because he has the observation and analytical skill to notice a RESET from other people’s reactions and behavior. Whatever it’s Papyrus thinking he recognizes someone or Frisk’s behavior implying that they know something they shouldn’t have. Sans main RESET-related skill is just being able to identify these moments and come to the correct conclusion about them. And with that he manages to be the most aware character in the entire Underground.
Like, the one point where it might seem like Sans remembers something from a previous Timeline is the Fake Spare scene during his boss battle. 
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But it’s all pretend. Unlike the previous lines from other characters that I mentioned, this dialogue plays even if the Murder Route is the first time the player touched the game. Sans isn’t remembering anything in this scene. But he makes an educated guess that the Immoral Time God probably tried using their powers for good at first, so they were likely ‘friends’ in a previous timeline. And in most cases, his guess is right on the money - tricking many players into thinking this is another case of the game actually reacting to their past actions.
And as always, Sans can only tell if his lil’ trick worked or not based on the expression of the Player Character.
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Arguably, Sans even uses his lack of Determination and cross-RESET memory to his advantage in his boss battle. After all, the whole point of this fight isn’t to kill the Player - Sans understands this is impossible. This is a war of attrition, trying to get the Player so frustrated and annoyed with the unfair fight that they just ragequit or RESET the Timeline. And this war of the Player’s patience versus Sans’ stamina and will is infinitely easier for him when he doesn’t actually perceive all the Player’s previous attempts against him.
Like, for the Player this might be the billion time they go up against him, they’re aware of some of his patterns and tricks now but they’re probably also frustrated and angry and exhausted. Meanwhile, from Sans’ POV, this is still the first time this is happening. He knows it’s not from the Player’s behavior and Frisk’s expression - but he doesn’t feel it like the Player does. 
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He doesn’t feel the frustration and repetition of the endless stalemate. So he’s always as fresh as a daisy no matter how rugged the Player is getting.
And that’s part of why Sans is so cool in the first place, like, in general. He’s technically the weakest person in the Underground, lacking in every standard evaluation of power in the setting - no ATK, no DEF, no HP, no DETERMINATION. But he’s darn clever enough to overcome these weaknesses and even use them in ways that make them into strengths, enough to be one of the most dangerous and most aware guys in this whole setting.
Sans can’t remember anything, and that makes him awesome.
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art · 5 months
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Creator Spotlight: @jdebbiel
Deb JJ Lee is a non-binary Korean artist based in Brooklyn, NY. They have appeared in the New Yorker, New York Times, NPR, Google, Radiolab, and more. Their award-winning graphic memoir, IN LIMBO, about mental illness and difficult relationships with trauma, released in March 2023 from First Second.
Below is our interview with Deb!
Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?
That implies I am over my art block, but I’m still in it! I think about Kiki’s Delivery Service a lot and how she had to stop doing a thing, and that you can’t really force it, and you have to let it come back to you. It’s a pretty humbling moment, realizing there is more to life than just drawing. I’ve been trying to consume other content like reading or watching movies—anything that is not drawing-related—and to trust that it will come back to me. I think not being afraid to do the small pieces before committing to the big pieces is helpful. Because big pieces are what I am known for, I dig myself into a deeper hole, thinking that each piece has to be bigger than the last one. So yeah! Relaxing and doing the small things before overcommitting to a big piece is the best way to go about it for me.
Which 3 famous artists (dead or alive) would you invite to your dinner party?
I feel like these are all artists that I have second-degree connections with! Jillian Tamaki, Victo Ngai, and Tillie Walden would be my picks!
What are your file name conventions?
…What file name conventions? I mean, I don’t have specific file name conventions, but I actually have a public Google Drive archive! But I usually put “djjl_whatever-the-title-is_final,” and I would always know it’s the final and legit version.
What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?
I did an illustration for the whiskey brand Johnnie Walker. It’s so wild because I only had four days to finish it, and it usually takes me a week and a half if I rush. And honestly, it’s probably one of my best pieces from this year, which is funny. It was for the Mid-Autumn festival, so I made it as Korean as possible.
How has technology changed the way you approach your work?
I only use my iPad to draw everything now, and if I want to pretend that I have a steady workstation, I’ll use my Cintiq. I still am not as comfortable on the Cintiq as I am on Procreate, but it’s still pretty solid and nice. That’s the good part about technology. The bad part about technology is how AI art has been messing things up for me. I’m currently in a lawsuit about AI art as a class rep. Some of my stuff got turned into AI art late last year, so I have to give a deposition at some point. 
What is a convention experience that has stuck with you?
Honestly, they’re all good! I feel like Lightbox Expo has been really nice because it’s truly been a convention for artists. I feel like that’s where most of my audience is, and they’re all around because their purpose is to be better at art. That’s where a lot of original artists do well because they’re getting art they’re inspired by, not so much fanart. I like the Lightbox Expo because it encompasses the pure love of art very well. 
Top tips on setting up an Artist Alley booth?
Use a Y axis, not just your X axis! Take advantage of it! Branding is also something to think about. It is definitely something I’m getting better at. Having an assistant is also very important. I’ve also heard that 8.5x11 to 12x18 inches is usually a good size for prints, but I also provide postcard-sized prints because sometimes people don’t want to commit to a larger size. 
Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?
You know this is so funny. I’ve been following @alicexz for over a decade on Tumblr and other platforms. I’ve followed her work since high school, and we’ve only recently become peers. I found her, and we met for the first time in real life, and she recognized me. And then I found all my drawings from when I was in my Alice phase, back in high school, and I was like, “Yo, this is when I was trying to be you so badly!” and she was cracking up and was like “Wow, this is so good!” It was such a sweet moment. I wanted to take a picture of her holding my drawing up. It’s really nice because now we’re peers.
Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Deb! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @jdebbiel.
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liesmyth · 5 months
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I want to start running...any tips?
I WAS BORN TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION. Thank you so much for asking! Unfortunately, I am a nerd about my hobbies so this got quite long.
Keep it simple ✨
Running is easy to get into; our bodies are built for it. Don’t stress over technicalities and just do what feels natural to you. My local races are full of 70-something white-haired pensioners who are kicking ass at it. Don’t let anyone tell you that running is meant to feel like dying, that’ll harm your knees, or that you absolutely need to have that specific smartwatch model to get into it. All you need is a solid pair of shoes, everything else is optional.
Medium effort is the way to go
The ideal aerobic running pace is a speed at which you’re able to hold a conversation, even if a bit winded. NO faster. If you’re able to sing along to your playlist or chat with a friend, that’s your ideal running pace. If you’re gasping or wheezing, slow down! You’ll get a bit faster as your lung capacity gets better, but that shouldn’t be a priority unless you want to train for a race. You get most of the health benefits of running just by keeping up a steady, sustainable, conversational pace.
Walking breaks are fine, actually
That’s the reason why I don’t love C25K as a beginner program — the way it’s structured sort of implies that walking breaks are something you should grow out of to become a more experienced runner. If you need to walk for a bit, go ahead.
If possible, jogging is preferable, just because the mechanics of even a glacial-pace jog are more similar to running than those of a faster power walk, so you might try switching to a jog after a bit of a walking interval. But walking is not a failure; there are serious marathon training plans out there that use walk/run intervals as a viable strategy.
(Related: picking up speed helps you keep going! If you feel like you are completely drained, try speeding up for a very short interval, then slowing back down. It’ll often give you an energy boost to keep going)
Run for time, not distance ⌚
Especially for beginners, I find that getting fixated on numbers can be counter productive, and the most important thing is to listen to your body. If you’re aiming to hit a certain mileage, you might get the urge to speed up at the end to get done faster. Instead, set yourself time-based goals and end every run with a cool down jog or walk.
SHOES!! 👟
Good running shoes are essential, and pretty much the only fitness-related purchase on which I’ll always support dropping money. If you get to the point where you’re consistently running 10 km (6 miles) each week, you’ll want to go to a running store — the kind of place where you’ll get fitted, and they’ll have you try on models and jog on a treadmill to evaluate your gait and let you know which characteristics your ideal shoe needs. I can’t stress enough how useful running store staff can be. They’re all running club nerds who LOVE getting new people into running, and they really want to help you find your ideal fit. Also get good running socks while you’re at it.
Be prepared to drop at least 100€ (or equivalent currency) but they usually have a great return policy if the model isn’t a good fit for you. Take care of your running shoes — maintenance, wearing them only for running, gentle cleansing etc — and the cushioning will last for quite a while (600km / 370miles at least). If you decide that you hate running, they’re still great for walking around. Once you find your ideal shoe model, it gets a lot easier to shop for it during end-of-season sales, or looking for online bargains etc. I love stocking on end-of-series shoes and rotating them so they’ll last even longer, and I buy online quite often! Just make sure your FIRST pair is fitted, for ideal injury prevention and joint health.
Injury prevention 💪
I’d love to still be running 10k races when I’m 70, but it takes some care to get there. When you run, you’re slamming your body weight up and down with every stride, and that might be hard on your joints if you’re not used to it. If you’re completely new to running, cap your runs at 15/20 minutes every other day. Do that even if you feel like you could keep going! If you have a good aerobic base already, you need to give your joints time to catch up with you lung capacity, and give your body time to recover. Do bodyweight exercises like lunges and planks and glute bridges to strengthen your core, legs, and hips. Dynamic stretches are great for warmups, and static stretches are better for cooling down. If you have the option, running on softer surface like grass or dirt is better than asphalt, which is better than concrete and pavements.
(If nothing of what I’ve said here makes sense to you, shoot me another ask, or look at some of the resources I’ve linked down below!)
Don't get bored! 🎶
I love running in groups. Running clubs are great. You can learn so much in a hands-on way from seriously experienced people, you can chat about gossip over a running job, and you can make some interesting friends. If you don’t have access to a running community, then personally I love just chilling on a run by myself listening to an audiobook or podcast or exploring a certain area.
Running form❓
Don’t stress about it. Just go out and move your body. Attempting to modify your ‘running form’ too quickly can do more harm than good. There ARE a few things you could pay attention to — I recommend trying to focus on one of these at a time for a minute or so, and alternate between them. After a while, it’ll start to feel natural to keep track of all of them:
1. Don’t slouch! But a slight lean forward is great.
2. Keep your shoulders pulled down and your upper back tense.
3. Swinging your arms in a way that helps with your stride is good, but I shouldn’t feel forced.
4. Even breaths, inhaling through your mouth and expiring through your nose.
5. Take turns to check with every part of your body, and relax them in turn: are your jaw and neck too tense? Are your fists tight?
6. Don’t overstride! shorter strides with quicker leg turnover are better than huge strides that feel awkward to you.
7. Use your glutes to drive up the motion of your legs, not just your quads. This can take a while to get used to, but it’s a game-changer.
8. ENGAGE YOUR CORE. This is a great skill to develop whether you work out or are just existing in the world — basically, let your inner abdominal muscles help you carry your weight forward. This is VERY intuitive once you know how to do it, but it’s hard to get a grasp of it if you don’t know what it means, so here are some resources about it.
an extremely fucking comprehensive article that improved my life and eased my big-boobs back pain
similar content but in video form
a running-specific form video
Personally, learning to do this made me feel like I unlocked a superpower. Go forth and brace.
Accessories and tips 🤓
Like I said above, the only thing I really suggest spending money on for real is running shoes. Everything else is details! However, I’m nothing if not wordy I have Thoughts about those details, too.
Run tracking: I suggest downloading Runkeeper if you want to keep track of your runs — it’s free, intuitive, and solid! If you decide to get into wearables, a low-level Garmin >>>>> anything else.
Self-care: use sunscreen and/or thick face cream as needed. Stop to sip at a public fountain if needed. Get a small fanny pack to hold your phone, keys, or lip balm if needed. If chafing is an issue, anti-glide gel is relatively affordable.
Outfits etc: I get all my running gear and clothes from Decathlon — they are in most countries and ship worldwide. I especially love this thermal shirt for colder weather
Safety: if you’re running on the road, make sure to run in the opposite direction from traffic and to wear something bright. If you run with headphones near traffic, keep the volume down, or get over-the-ear conductor headsets. I love shokz, they're fantastic.
Post-run snack: eating something small and carb-heavy within 30 mins of a workout is great for kickstarting recovery. I love dried fruit personally.
Various resources 📝
Routine basics: check out the r/running order of operations, which is a great “how to” guide to building a basic running routine. I also recommend that subreddit's wiki! Running programming gets exponentially more involved the more advanced you get, etc — if you ever have any questions, hit me up!
Dynamic stretching warmup: a quick leg swing workout to get your legs ready to go. If you’re feeling overachieving, here’s a lunge warmup routine and a how-to bodyweight squat video.
Cooldown routine! Check out Strength and Mobility, a great post-run quick cooldown routine that includes some bodyweight exercises to strengthen your hips and core. Video included.
that's all, folks! 🏃‍♀️
Sorry I got carried away! I love running. I love getting people into running. My mental health, cardiovascular system and my popping quads also love running. But FYI, some people hate running and that's also fine! If you decide it’s not for you, find something you like more. There are a lot of misconceptions out there and a lot of guilt-tripping and body shame-y rhetoric around exercising, especially aimed at women, and I want to make clear it’s all bullshit. Just have fun <3
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unclemotherfucker · 4 months
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FFA/BHM Interactions
DISCLAIMER: This is all based off my personal experiences and engaging in conversation with over a hundred FFAs. BHMs are not solely to blame, but I’m going to try and explain the issue from my perspective to hopefully shed some light on the things you can do as a man to have more success with talking to FFAs.
I help run a successful group chat involving a couple of fat related communities with access to the humans and their words. So this is based in a lot of observation and in communication that’s not absolutely destroyed by a toxic culture like Feabie. The problem I see is that this side of kink was never fully developed, the leaders of these communities didn’t help set up standards like the BDSM community has. For example SSC or safe, sane and consensual. SSC gives the very basic set to of rules to build off of when engaging/interacting with someone. I’m not pretending that BDSM doesn’t have predators but because of how educated the community is on respecting people and their boundaries the predators get called out. However they run rampant on this side of the kink spectrum and the “leaders” need to help shine a light on them much like https://www.tumblr.com/feedismbatman does. A victim shouldn’t be the only one that is heard because socially we minimize their words and pain for whatever reason and they’re dismissed. While talking about predators is on the extreme end of the spectrum it relates to the basic side of these interactions with someone as simple as a BHM expecting anyone’s time or energy just because you fit a physical preference of an FFA. I can promise you it’s only a small percent of them that actually don’t care about you as a person and only want to play with the body. MOST want/need some kind of connection and if you come out of the gate thirsty and or inconsiderate you will be forever tainted and won’t ever have a chance…no matter how much you eat or how fat you are.
Another common problem I see is the UNBELIEVABLE amount of man children out there who will blame everyone but themselves as to why such and such person isn’t into them or won’t give them the time of day. Is not only possible but it’s actually likely that you’re a huge part of the problem. Women aren’t owed to you, you’re not going to get what you want just because you exist.
My point being, before you go looking for a feeder/partner fuck with therapy, fuck with being wildly introspective, fuck with being YOUR authentic self… fuck with those and I promise they will fuck with you. Sounds easier than it is but I’ve learned women find a sense of humor, confidence (not that fake it till you make it bullshit) and a sound moral compass puts you in the top 10% of men you think you’re competing with. On that, it’s not a competition I PROMISE there are way more FFAs out there than you think. Our group alone has a very high percentage of FFAs, many of which have said they’re shy and don’t know how to approach men they find attractive. So they’re not the all powerful person holding all the cards who should just swoop in and make you feel better about yourself. They’re a god damn human being too and IF you can see that, see them… you’re half way there. Don’t rush shit, don’t get all butt hurt that they took two days to respond but your creeper ass saw them post but not respond to you yet. Have you considered maybe they don’t know how to reply, they may not have the time to PROPERLY reply and working up the courage to do so. Chances are they’re just not interested but if you get all clingy you’ll never know because you’re worse than friendzoned… you’re forgotten.
Also, don’t try to be slick. Women talk, chances are decent they may already know a little about you before you’ve even talked, so don’t lie, don’t try to fit the mold you think they want because you’ll be sniffed out pretty quick. Them girls have some kind of no verbal communications or some shit because word travels fast. You don’t need to rehearse anything, you don’t need a line… you just have to be you. And if you don’t click one way or the other you’ll at least have given an honest effort.
The absolute worst thing you can do is go around your social medias and blab on and on about how a particular person isn’t a real FFA or feeder just because they don’t choose you. Not in person is the gold standard of anything and to assume you had a chance is probably what got you dismissed… over and over and over and over again and why you’re perpetually “I just can’t find anyone” sad ass victim mentality. When you do that you prevent the closeted FFAs to stay in the closet because they don’t feel safe in our spaces. They’re terrified and they don’t need someone placing unrealistic expectations on them when they’re struggling and dealing with their own shit. That’s another thing lacking anymore is fucking empathy! Just TRY it… I promise if you hone that skill you’ll be way better off. And for the love of Satan don’t open with fat talk, don’t open with a belly pic or worse a cock. Just don’t, talk to them like you have a value beyond just your physical attributes… bitches love that shit!
I want you guys to succeed, I know what it’s like when you find amazing women to be in your corner, to have your back and to give you the love and attention you desperately crave. But it isn’t just going to fall in your lap, so no more “hey”… it never works just fucking stop it. Don’t send any pictures of any kind unless they ask. Go into the conversation with gusto and the ability to have a normal ass conversation… if you can’t do that don’t even try. Work on doing that instead of trying to hit a grand slam with zero effort haha. Like WTF… I blame “everyone gets a trophy” mentality. Anyways, if you actually read this through and it still doesn’t click message me and I’ll try to clarify. But 100% don’t message me to argue about anything I’ve said. You can take it or leave it, I’m just trying to help because I see so many BHMs fail and they shouldn’t be. And I’d love to have more FFAs come out of their shells are it be safe enough to participate in our communities. If you have a reputation for being a pushy entitled cunt then it’s possible it’s not an everyone else problem… it’s an only child me me me mentality problem and you can fix it. You can control that aspect of your dating life, you however can not control anything an FFA does or says. Let them post their stuff and you can just mind your own fucking business.
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transmascissues · 4 months
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hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs
i have one question for you: so fucking what?
i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”
i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.
what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.
if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.
like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.
and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.
this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.
who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?
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kouyou-arc-when · 1 month
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ON DAZAI AND EMPATHY: A character study Before you read: Obviously diagnosing any character in fiction seriously is a fool’s errand, but I am a fool, so let’s just do this for amusement. The main thing I desire is to discuss is the extent to which Dazai is capable of various types of empathy, as well as how that influences the way he sees and interacts with others. It will be chaotic and all over the place because I just sat down and wrote this in a fit. Let me explain some factors in analyzing Osamu: The author's intention is clearly to make Dazai's internal world a mystery. Since we don't have enough information, all we can do is hypothesize based on external elements. Generally, across all novels, the only time we’ve seen anything of Dazai’s perspective is in “The Day I picked up Dazai” (Beast continuity) – where he “saves” Oda and tortures that random dude. We don’t hear his thoughts narrated from first-person perspective, unlike many of the other novels.
Now, the crux of the issue. For years, it’s been discussed whether Dazai is a “sociopath”. If we disregard that sociopathy is a very loaded term that can mean a lot of things depending on which specialist you consult, at the very least, Dazai does strike me as someone with a unique expression of empathy, who could qualify for Anti-social personality disorder or a related condition. I will abandon the idea that Dazai is a sociopath, and use actual concepts that have legitimacy within this post. Whether Dazai could qualify for ASPD or any other disorder is something I've seen discussed for many years within the fandom. I'll try to analyze how these concepts could apply to him. In regards to mental health and Kafka (since it is a contentious matter) and the validity of any of this: I understand that a lot of people are resistant to the idea that any of the characters could have conditions more complex than depression, anxiety, and PTSD. This is my counterpoint. I have noticed that Asagiri emulates a lot of characteristics commonly attributed to “geniuses”, without confirming or potentially even intending to write these characters as having a specific condition.
A great example is Ranpo – who will read as autistic to any decent mental health professional (Untold Origins). Did Asagiri intentionally sit down and say “I am going to write an autistic character”? Maybe not. However, the “genius” stereotype is profoundly connected to visions of autism, even if people aren’t aware of it. Take people like Sherlock, House and L from Death Note – they’re commonly believed to be autistic by fans. All of these characters borrow from the same group of traits, that just happens to correspond with a certain condition - savants have always been popular in fiction. It's been known that the favorite type of character for Asagiri is the “prodigy” type, and he has used geniuses across fiction for inspiration of most notable intelligent characters within BSD. For Ranpo it was Sherlock, for Fyodor it was Joker from the Dark Knight (a classic sociopath), for Dazai it was Patrick from The Mentalist.
What I’m trying to say is, you can see various personality disorders connected to the portrayal of these geniuses, and even without confirming their state, it is clear they are either intentionally or unintentionally coded to be that way. Extremely intelligent characters not being able to read social cues, lacking empathy, disregarding rules etc. is something we commonly see in fiction. Basically, a lot of people don’t even know that these stereotypes are based on certain personality types, disorders, and illnesses. It’s sort of like drawing a character and dyeing their hair a certain shade of blue that you don’t know the particular name of: it doesn’t change the fact that you used that color, and the fact it has a name. Most authors are not mental health experts anyways, so they may not be entirely aware of every detail of the psychological framework they write the character to possess. They also may not write it consistently, as they're mostly emulating stereotypes. I mention Ranpo and autism because a character can embody traits of a stereotype without the author even necessarily having the intention to do so, however, to anyone who knows a thing or two, it is clear Ranpo is on the spectrum. If Ranpo were to express a few traits that go against this, it would not necessarily take away from the large-scale portrayal he is meant to exude: an autistic coded genius.
Why am I saying this? It is entirely possible for the author to write Dazai as a person with anti-social personality disorder, to “code” him in that way, but to not be entirely aware of how an individual with ASPD realistically tends to act.  Because he may be emulating a certain "stereotype" of a genius, he may also end up emulating specific psychological states, without making them entirely consistent in a realistic way. Writing the way individuals with ASPD tend to deal with empathy can be extremely difficult for anyone. It's easy to emulate a sociopath on a superficial level, but beyond that, it gets more challenging. How would a person with limited empathy act when they're hurting someone? That is an easier idea to handle. But how will they act in a friendly relationship? This is where it gets tricky. That is likely why someone like Dazai can never be consistently compatible with a very specific disorder: but, he can come very close. Besides, concepts such as anxiety and depression are pretty well-known, but more niche mental health conditions are not as well understood. So, BSD Osamu was written with specific attention to mental health issues because the author himself was someone who spoke heavily on the topic. I’ve read a lot of real-life Dazai Osamu, with special attention to No Longer Human (the main inspiration for BSD Dazai was Yozo) – and neither RL Dazai nor Yozo gave me the impression they could qualify for ASPD at all.
I know BSD Dazai is the opposite of the RL author in so many ways, but I guess it’s relevant to mention this because we know so little of BSD Dazai’s internal working processes, and Asagiri's main inspiration can tell us a lot about the intentions behind Dazai's portrayal. Generally, an intention or idea behind a character can give a lot of clues to us - more than anything, I am under the impression some of the main ideas behind Dazai's creation was that: 1) He doesn't feel like he belongs among humans 2) He has mental health issues However, we have difficulty defining the exact source of why all of this is in more realistic terms.
Naturally, since Dazai, an extremely socially intelligent person, sees himself as "othered", it is logical to assume he is not capable of fulfilling some emotional function most people can in a successful enough way. If he were just mentally ill in more typical ways (only depression), I theorize he wouldn't feel that "othered". He specifically is not meant to feel human. Obviously, his extreme intelligence is one of the things that isolates him, but the question is what else?
We are led to believe Dazai "sees" something the rest of us don't, and that is one of the reasons he wants to die. However, there is something more to it, as I believe it to be. We have two characters who are as intelligent as Dazai: Fyodor and Ranpo, and neither of them is suicidal, as far as we know. I believe Dazai "feels" a certain way, and then finds a way to logically justify it. Due to his intelligence, he likely falls into a complex loop which leads him to existential nihilism: but you usually don't end up in a place like that if you tend to feel alright in the first place, regardless of how smart you may be. While Dazai is certainly isolated due to his extreme intelligence, most of the people who made an impact on him are nowhere near him in that respect. In fact, I'd argue Dazai isn't even looking for someone equally intelligent to him, unlike Fyodor (this would take another post to explain).
The man who means the world to him, Oda, is more emotionally intelligent and full of common sense, but definitely not his cognitive equal. You can tell a lot about a person depending on what they value: and due to this I believe that Dazai's main issues relate to emotional matters. He primarily feels isolated due to his emotional state, and his intelligence pushes the problem further. Otherwise, he would treasure people like Ranpo and Fyodor over guys like Oda and Atsushi: he's looking for something to ease his emotional pain. Dazai doesn't seek out raw intellectual stimulation as much as comfort/excitement. This post will be an analysis of how Dazai compares to the "average" psychologically and some of the reasons he may feel so othered. Basically, my theory is that the feeling of being "othered" comes from his emotional profile, as much as it comes from his intellectual capacity. Those two take equal parts in his psyche.
Why would Dazai feel so emotionally "othered"? I believe it may have to deal with a specific personality disorder or condition, and mainly how he experiences empathy. One of the possibilities is ASPD. Anyways, let’s look into common ASPD symptoms, and then we'll look into common behavioral patterns the character shows. Dazai is equal amounts portrayed seriously and in a “jokey” way, but his worst traits and moments are usually described without humor. To preface: Keep in mind that you can have any or all of these traits without it qualifying you for a certain disorder. It is the extent to which you show it that makes a person, like Dazai, out of the norm.
1. Repeatedly breaking the law: This one goes without saying, he was in the Mob as Young as 15, and seemingly a violent criminal even before that age. To differentiate him from other members of the Mafia, it is stated by tons of people throughout the story that Dazai was practically born for this job.
Oda in Dark Era:
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He was openly murderous before the age of 15, according to both The Day I picked up Dazai and Fifteen:
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Dazai and Oda interacting in TDIPUD When talking to Kyouka, it seems that he has an “interesting relationship” with murder as a whole:
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One thing is for sure, Dazai is much calmer, calculated, and more Machiavellian than most criminals in BSD, and this all started at an extremely young age. Many people kill when they're young, but they're not this casual about it.  The age at which he was this cold about would be of diagnostic significance.
2. Lack of remorse: Everything mentioned above, it is clear that Dazai has an even more complicated relationship with guilt and empathy. I’m pretty sure anyone in real life would consider him out of the norm, as it’s explicitly stated Dazai doesn’t feel remorse for all sorts of things he does, but there are some hints he is either ashamed of the way he is, or regrets his nature, but accepts it. What is particularly significant here is how young Dazai is when he shows a marked level of these traits. A key event that stuck with me is from the Dragon Head event in Mayoi (from my understanding it was written by Asagiri), where Shibusawa mentions Dazai will regret something (to me it sounded like he meant that killing Shibusawa will end poorly for Osamu). However, Dazai’s reaction was interesting – it was like he was almost amused that anyone would believe Dazai “could” feel regret for anything.
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Mayoi Later down the timeline it’s quite questionable whether Dazai feels regret for some of his actions because he hides his feelings like a snake hides its legs, but there are implications he is somewhat remorseful if you read between the lines. More on that later. Dazai has changed compared to his past self, but to talk about that, and the extent to which he has changed would take a whole other post.
More on his lack of remorse, In “The Heartless Cur” Dazai is very young when he gets some randos from the Mafia killed in front of Akutagawa, yet his main emotions are amusement and boredom. This is not the “typical” emotional range of most people, even practiced criminals. For example, Chuuya kills people just like Dazai, but his reactions to it are entirely different.  
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from The Heartless Cur Murder tends to not be the preferred or first solution Chuuya goes for: there is an expected amount of hesitance if you read into Chuuya. He put a bomb below Chuuya’s and sabotaged Ango’s car without much bother. I’d say even if you do see It as a “means to an end”, the way he did it was really cold. Usually, when people of all kinds do bad things, they have remorse and empathy they need to suppress, but with Dazai we don't see much of that. It's like he can just "do it'. He’s also really great at torture, in Side B at age 15-16, he already describes himself as a “specialist”. This is also touched upon when he speaks to Kouyou:
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No matter how "grey" a character is, torture is a very specific process that takes a particular psychological profile to pull off. To be a "specialist" at it, you definitely need to possess dented empathy. Lack of remorse and empathy does not mean a person is going to be a criminal at all - it simply opens the opportunity that they may get lost in those waters more easily compared to the average person.
3. Repeatedly being deceitful I’m pretty sure we don’t have to cover this one. Yozo, the character he was loosely based on, is a big liar, and commonly uses “clowning” to distract from his real personality. Even the real Dazai Osamu wrote extensively about the concept of “lying”.   There is a lot to talk about Dazai and “masking”, and I’ll get to that in the second half of the post. Generally, Dazai lies a lot, one can’t even be sure what his personality really is. He lies by omission, manipulates, and intentionally deceives people without any issues. There are so many quotes about this that I’d probably reach the image limit right there if I wanted to reference them all. 4. Being impulsive or incapable of planning ahead Does not apply
5. Has difficulty sustaining long-term relationships: Dazai is famously a hoe. From “All women are his type” (and it seems he has zero issues getting together with any woman, young, old or even taken) to being known as “the enemy of all women” (said by Chuuya), it’s clear he is very promiscuous. Wan is in the gray area of canon, but in one of the earlier chapters he has so many love letters by different women that Atsushi burns them all. Kunikida said he hits on any woman he sees in the Entrance exam novel, which is further supported by random Wan! Chapters, silly crossovers, and everything else (literally anything female).
Not only that, but Dazai sounds like a consistently manipulative and toxic romantic partner. In an Otomedia interview, written by Asagiri, Dazai’s real type was basically something like: “Any woman is fine, because he is confident he can shape her to suit his tastes” which shows a remarkable lack of care for the personhood and individuality of his partner.
When answered what he’d do if his partner cheated or betrayed him, his answer was even more concerning. Depending on the translation, it goes something like: “He has not been cheated on, but he has cheated on others” or “he set up women to cheat on him/betray him” where both are a lot, just in different ways.
Either he is compulsively unfaithful, putting all above together, or he plays mindgames with his partners. He’s also told Kunikida that: “And from my experience, it takes only a smile and some kindness to get a woman swooning over you when she's fallen on hard times” painting an image of someone who takes advantage of people’s weaknesses to get what he wants.
Regardless, it’s clear he is very manipulative and likely emotionally abusive. I won’t even touch upon his obsession with double suicide. There’s also the fact that he seems to use sex to get what he wants – insert scene where he fucks the nurse to get his phone back.
Other than that, Dazai appears to be rather solitary. Ango and Oda are said to be “the only ones close to him” because they respected said loneliness. Even in ADA, Dazai seems to be professionally close to people, but very few people seem to know him on a personal level. I’d say he keeps people at a distance intentionally – before it was violently, later it is by being avoidant. For as much of a womanizer he is, there was that early comic where he spent Valentine’s Day drinking at Lupin “with Oda”, instead of going out with any particular person. I think this demonstrates how emotionally distant he is from all the people he interacts with
6. Being irritable and aggressive:
Dazai is not particularly aggressive, nor irritable, but he has moments where he slips. Tbh, reading back, it says a lot about Dazai’s character who he gets angry at and why. It’s important to say that when Higuchi calls him out on “Hollowing out the hearts of his opponents” in incredibly brutal ways, Dazai replies that he thinks “Sadism is just a method, and how it’s boring”.
Akutagawa is the receiver of a lot of his violence to a disproportionate degree. He beats up Akutagawa beyond what could ever be “just training”. There’s something that ticks him off about Akutagawa, which is interesting, since Dazai tends to not react this way to anyone who doesn’t touch him “intimately” in some way. A lot of people justify Dazai’s physical abuse by saying it is “training”, but it stood out to me how he kicks Akutagawa in the stomach even the first time he meets him in “Beast”, when Akutagawa is just an extremely traumatized and deprived kid he refuses to recruit. There is not much utility to that kick, to me. It felt personal.
Another example of him expressing anger is when people “called him foolish for wanting to die” – clearly he did not take it well since all of those people ended up dead. This is from “The Day I picked up Dazai” when Oda tells him he is a fool for wanting to die.
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Other times Dazai expressed rage was in relation to Ango and Oda, particularly anything that related to Oda’s wellbeing.
He snaps at his subordinates when they tell him he shouldn’t be friends with someone “of such low status”, and the only time we really hear Dazai say he hates someone is when he’s torturing one of the guys who put Oda in trouble in the Beast timeline of “The day I picked up Dazai”. Obviously, he is resentful towards Ango and incapable of forgiving him. “Dead Apple” guidebook touches on it.
“Though they were once good buddies who used to drink together, to Dazai, Ango is one of the persons who caused the death of Odasaku. He still holds that resentment up to now, and is unable to forgive. Ango also seems to feel Dazai’s silent wrath towards him.”
Harukawa has said to pay attention to how cloudy the eyes of a character are to accurately interpret their psychological state. I don't think there are many times Dazai's eyes are drawn in such an extreme way - there is no "light" she talks about here. His eyes are pure black when he talks to Mori during the Guild arc.
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He also agrees with Fyodor on “Malice being the best fruit that God Bestowed upon Mankind”
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There is also this with Jouno:
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Basically, Dazai rarely gets angry, insults don’t work on him (as he tells Chuuya), nor does beating him up, but when he does get irritated he flies off the handle and has no issue crossing any normal boundaries.
That detail is what stands out to me – usually, people have a line they won’t cross when getting mad, but for Dazai it’s like most moral lines disappear. Imo, his anger is for social standards over disproportionate in how far he’ll go and how he'll act on it– he usually has a clear intention to harm the individual he's mad about. In comparison, Chuuya is someone who gets angry more than Dazai, but Chuuya clearly has a line he won’t cross. There is also no pointed sadism in his reactions. Dazai will likely do almost anything.
Basically, it's not how much Dazai gets angry, but the way he gets mad that sticks out to me. Most importantly, Dazai only ever gets enraged if it concerns something very personal and intimate: Oda and his death, his suicide attempts etc. At this point, for me, It’s safe to say that if Dazai gets extremely angry, it means the topic affects him on a deep level (a hint to whatever Is happening between him and Akutagawa, I could talk a lot about that). 
More on Dazai’s unpredictable and violent nature:
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Stormbringer I think there is a valid argument in seeing Dazai’s aggression as just a tool he uses to keep others at bay, something to hold over people and control them – but even then, it shows a marked disinterest in social norms people usually respect.
7.Having a reckless disregard for their safety or the safety of others This one builds upon all the others. However, it’s always been interesting to me how it’s clear something flies over Dazai’s head when it comes to regularly empathizing with others.
This is often seen with Chuuya. In my opinion, most of the bullying Dazai gives Chuuya is not motivated out of rage, but rather some form of spite. He goes at length to Rimbaud about planning Chuuya’s murder in “15”, then he also lets Chuuya be tortured in “Stormbringer”.
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I am under the impression he sees these moments as “amusing” and doesn’t fully emotionally understand why this is something bad, even if he does on a rational level. I’ll say that Dazai did seem to show some rage whenever anyone hurt him physically in the past (seems likely to be a hint to a traumatic past), which Chuuya did when they met, but I don’t get the impression he is generally angry with Chuuya, it’s more like he just enjoys fucking with him. Ironically, for how rarely Dazai gets angry, it seems he reserves his rage/irritation exclusively for people and things he cares about, so Dazai being specifically irritated at Chuuya is just a sign of how much the guy gets to him.
If Dazai were angry at Chuuya, it is in character that he would try to hurt him a lot more than he does. However, I'd say Dazai has a blurry space for what's ok between "keeping someone purely safe" and "deeply hurting them". There is some lack of emotional empathy there - to him, it is more amusing than anything to see someone he finds interesting struggle.
Dazai sees boundaries differently. He’ll put people into danger or through discomfort without worrying much, especially if he’s sure they’re going to walk and live after it, but sometimes not even that. (there’s so many examples of it). I’d say it’s not that Dazai doesn’t care, he just cares about people differently compared to what we’re used to socially.
Regarding personal safety, it’s pretty obvious: he’s a suicide maniac, but even more, he also puts himself in harm’s way all the time without any anxiety present. Examples are when he provokes that sniper in Dark Era (when Oda gets angry at him and wants to punch him), knows he is going to get shot by Fyodor, but lets himself get hurt anyway. When he “dies” in 55 minutes, he seems “lightly” surprised, but there’s no strong reaction to it.  To me, it seems that the only physical harm he dislikes is pain he suffers from another person (when he doesn’t plan it). Dazai apparently doesn’t feel much “anxiety” – I remember many different times when he comments on another character’s timidness or meekness, seeing it as something unusual.
8. Behave irresponsibly and show disregard for normal social behaviour He’s extremely eccentric, and even Ranpo says he doesn’t get him. Dazai asks women to commit suicide the moment he meets them, and often attempts suicide around people even if it distresses them (Entrance exam).
While I think he made this excuse in Dark Era to Taneda because he didn’t want to work with Ango, I do believe he believes what he said: “You’d lose your job if I did that.” Dazai wryly smirked. “I don’t like places with lots of rules.” Not being able to accept conventional rules is very often a telltale sign of a personality disorder. Clearly, Dazai fits many of the criteria necessary for having ASPD, so let’s look at some other details that are common for people with ASPD.
Masking: In psychology and sociology, masking is the process in which an individual camouflages their natural personality or behavior to conform to social pressures. Masking is common with many disorders, such as autism, ASPD etc. I am pretty sure it’s canon Dazai masks – on a BSD exhibit, the key element Asagiri wanted to talk about in Dazai’s personality was related to this.  
“When I describe Dazai to the staff, there is a phrase that I always use, “an unworldly being with a mental age of two thousand years.” Dazai has far surpassed the mental dimension that human can reach, thus no-one can even tell if the emotions he shows are the real things or not.
There are rare moments when that Dazai shows his very “human” side. That is when he talks to another superhuman who is on the same level with him. The other is when he talks about his old friend who has passed. This is the scene when Kyouka wondered “Maybe I’m, after all, just a murderer at heart.” and refused to be saved. And Dazai’s reaction to that. When he said “Don’t give me any of that!” here, he really meant it. That was an outburst from Dazai, as a 22-year-old boy, in this scene.” Light novels often describe his smile as fake, mask-like, and I could probably find 20 panels where Harukawa clearly drew him to intentionally seem like a fake smiler. From “15” to “Entrance exam”, Dazai often drops his mask, and then goes back to acting silly just to make the other person relax. He does this with everyone, Mori, Kunikida, Atsushi, etc. Chuuya also mentions that Dazai’s “happy-go-lucky” personality in ADA is something new, and he believes it doesn’t fit him.
Kunikida says this in the Entrance Exam: "For someone so full of eccentricities, there is something about his behavior that makes it seem as if he has an unobstructed view of the world. I don’t know exactly why, but all his emotions strike me as an act to some degree. Is he just playing dumb? Could there be more to him than he’s letting on, lurking behind his ambiguous mannerisms?"
More than anything, Dazai himself says that Oda was the person closest to seeing his “real” personality. That pretty much confirms he keeps his real self hidden away. I’d say that there are several possibilities to why this is: He hides it because he dislikes being vulnerable, he doesn’t know how to act “normal”, people are unable to understand him, so masking makes it easier for him to communicate with others…there’s a lot of theorizing I could do here.
Dazai also tends to have interesting thoughts about personalities as a concept.
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You’ll commonly see Dazai say something serious, followed by a severe reaction of the other character, ending with Dazai changing his demeanor and saying “just kidding” to lighten the air.
Manipulation: Dazai is extremely Machiavellian – he is prone to manipulating everyone around him, regardless of how much they care about him or not. He manipulated Chuuya into joining the mafia, he does the same with Akutagawa even today: Here we have him preying on Aku's insecurities to sabotage his self-confidence
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He seems to be able to cut off his emotions from any situation, seeing people in a raw, factual sense.
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There are several moments throughout the novels where Dazai talks about people as if they’re purely resources or pawns. An example of this in Dead Apple (where Chuuya gets angry because he doesn't respect people or show enough sympathy)
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The way he speaks of Atsushi, when asked what he thinks of him in a guidebook, is something like “developing as expected”. Especially in the original, it sounds extremely factual, mechanical, and cold. To me, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about Atsushi, he’s just the type to compartmentalize his emotions in opposition to his thinking. This is very common for a few personality disorders and mental health conditions: the capacity to totally cut off your emotions from the equation.  Obviously, many people are capable of doing this to one extent or another, but the amount to which he does it is what makes it significant.
Lack of traditional empathy: Personally, I think everything comes down to this. Dazai's experiences with empathy are one of the main themes of his character arc. I believe one of the things that makes him feel othered is his lack of emotional empathy.
People with ASPD tend to have issues experiencing what a lot of people consider “typical” empathy – however, ASPD is also on a large spectrum, so experiences certainly vary. Keep in mind that "lack of empathy" is common for all sorts of disorders, but since ASPD seems to be one of the most popular choices for Dazai, I decided to start there.
Before we continue, there are 2 types of empathy: Cognitive empathy is the ability to recognize and understand someone’s feelings and experiences and imagine yourself in those scenarios. Emotional empathy is experiencing shared emotions with someone or feeling emotions as though the experience is your own.
People with ASPD can commonly do the first type easily, and struggle with the second one. It does not mean they cannot experience emotional empathy, it’s just rarer for them to feel it. In my opinion, Dazai heavily relies on Cognitive empathy compared to Emotional empathy.
You can see often that he seems to not entirely understand “why” something is wrong on a personal level, but he can logically see it. This is a running theme, and you can commonly see that Dazai doesn’t fully understand “normal”.
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“15” Asagiri seems to be writing Dazai as someone who has gone “beyond the human dimension” in his skills and intelligence, so other people can’t fully understand him, but I think this goes both ways. Dazai has lost touch with what’s the standard human experience.
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One of the times Chuuya specifically calls out Dazai for not "acting human-like" is when he's not expressing empathy and respect. It is clear that Dazai's lack of empathy is one of the aspects which make others see him as "inhuman".
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There is another situation with Kunikida  during the Azure Messenger arc where Dazai seems to apologize for not getting something “is normal”, it slips by you very easily. It is framed as a joke, and it can be read as him making fun of Kuni, but Kunikida asks himself why Dazai apologized. It does read a bit unusually.
To me it seems like Dazai doesn’t fully emotionally understand other people, so when his mask slips you can see that he struggles a ton with getting what’s exactly “typical”.
Because Dazai is extremely intelligent, he masks in order to fit into society, and he does it successfully since he can intellectually understand most social and emotional functions and processes. However, he slips up like everyone does. This is why he got along with Oda well – since Oda just let him act like himself without having ulterior motives. Dazai didn’t have to “mask”. He didn't see Dazai as "just anyone", but he also realized Dazai was human. Basically, to Oda Dazai was a kid that had empathy issues, but he was struggling much like everyone else.
Personally, I feel like Dazai doesn’t feel entirely “human” because he doesn’t feel “emotional empathy” on the same level as other people, and this is one of the key issues of the character (as it's clearly stated in the Dead Apple manga, where Dazai does seem a bit upset by Chuuya's reaction)
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. The reason he felt “seen” by Oda is because Oda fully recognized this and still believed Dazai could do “good”. In our society, it is common for people to think that "empathy" and "sympathy" are conditions for being a good person, but it isn't so simple. The possible complexity of Dazai's moral state is why I find the character so interesting - a person without traditional empathy choosing to be good is really fascinating. (more on this later).
Boredom and general emptiness: “Boredom” is an extremely common complaint for people with ASPD – in fact, intense, non-standard boredom, along with other symptoms such as atypical experience with empathy, is one of the easiest ways to recognize ASPD. A “numbed” emotional state is common for people with ASPD, and due to their different emotional range and inability to connect with others in a more typical fashion, they are prone to “boredom” and seeking out extreme experiences.
Alcoholism/Substance abuse is common for people with ASPD, and it’s pretty much canon Dazai drinks a lot (alcohol is even in his likes). Aside from that, Dazai often cites boredom as one of the main reasons he wants to die, and I remember so many instances where he complains about it in bizarre circumstances. This is common for people with ASPD: depression/suicidality is comorbid, and I have heard people with ASPD mention they wanted their life to end once they no longer have enough stimulation. Dazai is often stated to be “bored”, or look bored even when extremely horrifying things are happening (people dying around him/telling their life stories..).  An example with Mori where he talks about wishing to die (from 15):
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Another really funny thing, a lot of people with ASPD I have seen tend to dislike “dogs”. Obviously, this hatred comes from the real life Dazai being scared of them and thinking they can attack at any moment, but it’s a funny coincidence. They tend to dislike dogs for an entirely different reason than Dazai does, to be fair.
How Dazai seems to see himself and morals in general
Generally, to me it seems like Dazai is not entirely happy with his nature. He admires Oda and doesn’t understand why he wouldn’t use his talents to rise up in ranks within the Mafia, simply because that is logical to Dazai – perhaps it is that difference between them that he enjoys so much. He is frequently attracted to displays of empathy:
Examples: 1. Ango documenting the deaths of people within the mafia even if it’s “just a waste of money” 2. Almost everything Atsushi and Oda do
He often describes altruism as “interesting”. I am also under the impression that Dazai has a tendency to project his nature onto others, which we can gather from his “Evil expects evil from others” quote to Mori. Furthermore, he sadly remarks in Dark Era that he is “a man despised by righteousness”. so I feel like there is something up here, some sort of guilt, distaste or shame.
This tells me:
a)Dazai sees himself as “evil”
b)He is constantly assuming the worst in others or is prepared for the worst
Another thing this tells me is that Dazai is someone who is likely extremely wary of people’s intentions. This is a ubiquitous theme all across BSD, especially when we see him as a kid. Osamu tends to be skeptical of everyone and everything, as if he’s waiting for people to betray or fuck him over at any corner. In TDIPUD, he keeps getting upset that he can't figure out Oda, since it makes no sense for him to be so charitable for absolutely no reason. Oda said “good and evil are the same to you” – personally I interpret this as Dazai being largely amoral rather than immoral.  Whether Dazai can be described as “good”, “evil” or “neutral” largely depends on your view of ethics. Just because someone lacks traditional empathy, it doesn't mean they are necessarily sadistic or bad at all. Immoral and Amoral are two words that sound similar but have different meanings. Immoral is an adjective that describes “something against pre-established morals, ethics, or standard societal practices.” Amoral, on the other hand, is an adjective that describes “something or someone completely lacking morals.” In common society, if you’re not “good”, you are often automatically “evil”. Basically, a person who has "no morals" is just as bad as a person who has cruel beliefs, but those two fundamentally differ. However, in a technical, utilitarian fashion – this is often seen to be true. More or less, “good” is the neutral state, and the more you step away from it, the more “evil” you are perceived to be. The more moral conventions you break, the more "evil" you are, regardless of your intentions. The results of the actions matter more than the source and motivations. In the end, a person is dead, regardless of why you killed them or how you felt about it. The reasons why people do conventionally moral things can be all over the place too - people aren't always kind because they have sympathy. When I hear “evil and good are the same to you”, it sounds like Dazai has no need for either, meaning, yes, he has no inherent need to do good, but no need for bad, he is simply not opposed to either of them. Regardless of what he's doing, he feels the same way. They're both tools to satisfy particular needs. Many people read this and say "aha, so if he sees no difference between the two, that means he is evil", but I think the truth is in the middle. I always say that to estimate Dazai's moral framework, you need to judge him outside of normal conventions. Basically, his starting point in making decisions is different. He begins his process likely by thinking "what will this bring me?" Most of his “evil” is not out of pure sadism, it’s just that he feels no need to stop himself due to moral conventions, he mostly cares about practical results. This is opposed to Kunikida who cares about ideals and morals in a vacuum and pursues them in their most idealized version (and it's well known Asagiri writes duos as opposites). Entrance exam as a novel was about how idealism can lead people to ruin when it's unrealistic.
He’s naturally immune to socialized pressure that forms the moral frameworks of most people on an emotional level. All of this is very common for ASPD, and a few other conditions. The more I see Dazai talk about how he sees the concept of personality, murder, morality – the more I am convinced his ethical framework is focused on results rather than the inherent morality of said actions. Example: He's going to lie to you to make you happy, even though "lying is bad". There is no inherent value in staying honest if it makes an individual miserable in the long run, even though society sees frankness as a virtue. That way, most actions are “open” for Dazai to undertake, he has no qualms most people have against them, since he doesn’t have socialized morals. A lot of the time, we only see certain things as "unconditionally bad" because we've been socialized to see them that way, even if it's not necessarily logical. He simply lacks socialized morals, leading to a tendency to be amoral. Everything is a means to an end, every action is alright if it's a tool that has more pros than cons. Oda's death was a useful character arc, since it led Dazai to taking Oda's moral framework as his own. He doesn't believe he is better than others, nor does he enjoy hurting random people, he doesn't kill or rob randos to get something and believes he is justified in it. Things of that type would make him “immoral”. Most of Dazai’s evil actions seem utilitarian, rather than committed for the pure act of pleasure or cruelty. When I say “amoral”, I mean this from Dazai’s point of view. Since he has no “moral boundaries”, all actions are open for him to undertake. He can go as far as he wants to any extreme largely depending on his subjective worldview and feelings (as seen in Beast, where he breaks all sorts of ethical codes of being "a good man" so Oda could get a decent life). However, since he is aware that there is a fight between good and bad in every person, and that evil tends to win out compared to the good, under enough pressure, he admires people who selflessly continue to be kind. That is why Oda, a highly moral person even beyond what is logical (his insistence to not kill even if it harms him) is the opposite that pushed him to change. Ulterior motives tend to be something Dazai is worried about in people, perhaps because he is possibly projecting all he is, or can be, on others. He describes Oda specifically as:
"a man who has no ulterior motive". Oda is obviously being a good person partially out of self-interest ("people live to save themselves"), but this self-interest is not destructive. I think for Dazai, it was difficult to find people who didn't have an ulterior motive that was ultimately hurtful, and he projected that onto everyone. Oda acting in his self-interest was ultimately beneficial to everyone. All in all, while Dazai does admire Oda's morals - I think a lot of this appreciation comes from an intimate and subjective place, where he feels comforted someone like Oda even existed. Continuing Oda's work is likely an extension of this as well. Keep in mind, any person has the right to see Dazai's actions as bad, as they often are. I am more speaking of Dazai's internal mental framework. Conclusion: Dazai has no inherent need to do good or bad, for the most part. He just goes as far as he needs to to satisfy his emotional needs.
Oda saved Dazai’s life in the day I picked up Dazai, and listened to him, but expected nothing in return. I feel that Oda saw this struggle within Dazai, and the way “good and evil don’t mean much to him” due to his disorder, but recognized that Dazai perhaps didn’t want to be this way.
Since Oda saw Dazai’s “irregular” nature, and still believed he could be a good person, Dazai was touched and decided to change his life. I believe Dazai had some distaste for himself, regardless of his lack of empathy, he could recognize what he was doing was not entirely right. As Asagiri mentioned, Oda told him exactly what he needed to hear, and the fact that these words were so life-changing to Dazai tells us a lot about what he had on his mind.  In my opinion, to see who Dazai is, you need to follow exactly which words got to him.
In my opinion, it likely meant a lot that a person he actually admired wanted to be in his life, especially a person he considered so kind like Oda. He often says that Oda is “the most interesting person he knows”. Imo, this is because “empathy” is one of the things Dazai doesn’t fully understand. He had to learn it. Since he understands human nature so well, cognitive empathy comes easy to him, but he still fucks up sometimes.
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Here, I also feel like he is talking about himself – he sees himself in Kyouka. It doesn’t come naturally to Dazai to be “good”, but he is trying his best, that is his ideal now. (Asagiri said this was one of Dazai's rare human moments). For that reason, I think Dazai admires empathetic people and tends to dislike those who are naturally violent, or even choose to be violent out of sadism.
On the BSD exhibit, Asagiri said Atsushi was "an empathy user", and how that is the key to his character. During one interview, the author mentioned that Dazai keeps testing Kunikida's ideals, but Osamu secretly hopes that Doppo will prove to be right, and Dazai wrong. This to me paints a picture of someone who hopes that "good" is worth it, at least from an intellectual point of view. When talking with Fyodor, he seems to admire people who live emotionally, thinking god doesn't prefer perfection, logic and harmony.
"The ones who actually make the world run Are those who scream in the storm of uncertainty and run with flowing blood"
Dazai seems to reject the idea that him and Fyodor and better because they are more calculating and cold - like I mentioned earlier in this god-forsaken post, this to me says Dazai believes empathetic and emotional people are better than him.
"I've come to see it many times, his gimmicks are the accidental and illogical that's a weakness two of us have in common" He suffers because he is not like them, and that contributes to him feeling "othered".
Negative emotions and Akutagawa
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My guess is that one of the reasons Dazai has so many issues with Akutagawa is because he is projecting his own issues with his lack of empathy onto him. This makes him relate to Akutagawa, but also dislike him beyond how he usually treats people. Akutagawa questions why Dazai's acts of violence are justified, while Osamu is judging Akutagawa: to me it sounds that Dazai sees his actions as at least partly justified because they are "logical" and utilitarian. He puts a difference between him and Aku, as if Dazai's natural instinct is not to mindlessly hurt others. However, it's interesting he needs to draw this line.
I believe Dazai sees a lot of the hurt he enacts on others as either "justified" or subconsciously defensive. "If I don't hurt others, they will hurt me", and he uses this against all kinds of people to keep them in control. In the Dark Era novel, Dazai speaks of Akutagawa like this:
“When I first saw him over in the slums, I was horrified. His talents are extraordinary, and his skill is extremely destructive. Plus, he’s stubborn. If I’d left him to his own devices, he would’ve ended up a slave to his own powers until he destroyed himself.” Interestingly, Dazai was "horrified" at what Akutagawa was capable of, where most things don't seem to exactly phase him. I think something about Aku's capacity for violence even scares him, and he "lashes" out in response to control him.
Later on Oda calls out Dazai's thinking indirectly in Beast, saying that hurting Aku is still bad no matter why he did it. (more on this in the next section) However, it’s very clear he cares for Akutagawa in “Chopsticks and a Spoon”, so I do feel like he’s likely aware of it. In fact, that story contains one of the gentlest expressions Dazai has pointed at anyone, so I think he partially sees Akutagawa as "innocent" in nature, and more like a wounded animal. I'll likely write a post about it. Since Dazai has expressed some lament or even shame regarding him being a person "hated by righteousness", I do think he is a bit ashamed of who he is. This part is a theory: When talking about "No Longer Human", Asagiri mentioned that he felt the book was about "embarrassment". Since Dazai is canonically famously based on Yozo to some extent, I feel that we can guess that Osamu likely does feel some shame - the question is about what. The rare times we see BSD Dazai express something similar to shame is when talking about his moral nature (when he beat up Akutagawa in Dark Era), but it's a "blink and you'll miss it" type of thing. Yozo and RL Dazai's relationship with his father was one of the cornerstones of his work (NLH even ends with him mentioning how he would have been alright if he had a better relationship with his father). Within the book, Yozo feels all sorts of things which make him feel "inhuman", but he is terrified about being open about it due to his strict father who sees him as somewhat strange. Since the theme of "fatherhood" was lightly touched upon when Atsushi's orphanage director died, I do think this is potentially a sore spot for BSD Dazai too. My guess is that Dazai likely had a poor relationship with his father figure, who saw him as "strange" or "inhuman" due to the way he acted: leading BSD Dazai to feel shame over his nature. Perhaps one of the things that made his father see Dazai as inhuman was his lack of typical ethics and empathy. Osamu internalized this - and ended up becoming a criminal at a very young age, perhaps in an attempt to confirm what hurt him, seeing himself as someone who could mostly do bad (which could be one of the reasons he wanted to die so young). Perhaps Oda making a way for him to "act good" was life-changing because of that too - it targeted a specific wound. All of this is speculation, but Dazai did mention that "self-pity leads you to living a life that is an endless nightmare". My guess is he was talking about himself there: and his own experiences with shame. To extend this: I think one of the reasons Dazai is so harsh on Akutagawa is because he is possibly projecting his relationship with his father onto Aku. Akutagawa is violent and troubled, and Dazai was shamed for the same thing. (but it would take a lot of time to work through this theory, so moving on..)
Dazai exhibiting empathy However, Dazai does show empathy for Oda, and a lot of it. I’d go as far as to say that he over-empathizes with Oda, while he underempathizes with everyone else. His relationships with the people closest to him tend to be why some people think he may have BPD. Especially due to devaluation and the "favorite person" concept. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation. A FP is a person who someone with BPD relies heavily on for emotional support, seeks attention and validation from, and looks up to or idealizes. For Dazai, this is Oda. On the other hand, In the context of BPD, “devaluation” refers to a psychological defense mechanism or coping strategy that individuals with BPD may employ in their interpersonal relationships. Devaluation involves a shift in the person’s perception of others, where they view someone they previously idealized or held in high regard as unworthy, flawed, or worthless. They become unworthy of their affection and praise. The person with BPD may engage in behaviors such as intense criticism, verbal attacks, withdrawal, or even cutting off contact with the person they have devalued. These actions are often driven by the individual’s fear of rejection, abandonment, or a desire to protect themselves from potential hurt or disappointment. For Dazai, the clearest example of this is Ango. However, a person can exhibit the "favorite person" and project the phenomenon of devaluation without having BPD. In my opinion, Dazai does show heightened polarity in his feelings toward others, but I am not sure if BPD would be my choice for him. It's very difficult to say, as many conditions mask as BPD, and Dazai's expression of empathy is unique.
Dazai idealizes Oda, and deeply sees his pain as his own, while he always frames Akutagawa in a negative light, even though he is likely one of the people Dazai cares about the most (next to Oda, Chuuya, Ango, Atsushi, especially according to Beast). Another example of his heightened negative emotions are Ango, and Chuuya to a much lesser extent. My guess is that Dazai doesn’t deal with caring about people well, especially when they are any sort of “threat”: which is why he tries to “bully” them down. The reason he goes easier on Chuuya than Akutagawa is because he feels Chuuya is in his nature more sympathetic.
In my opinion, the moment Dazai warmed up to Chuuya was when he realized that The Sheep were pushing Chuuya around: he was no “King of the sheep”, he was acting out of empathy and care. Since Chuuya is so powerful, it was likely admirable to Dazai that he didn’t abuse his abilities for self-gain. This is when he decided to isolate Chuuya from the Sheep: and I think the reason above is specifically why
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I'd say Dazai is likely "spikey" to anyone he cares about but has less confidence they won't hurt him. There are two camps of people: 1. Atsushi, Oda, Kunikida, Sigma (generally upright, meek, moral at the end of the day) 2. Chuuya, Akutagawa, and lastly Ango (people who are aggressive, challenging, and need to be put down in Dazai's eyes).
He cares about both camps (Sigma is debatable, I spoke of the type of personality Dazai seems to deal with easily in his case), but he likely feels "less safe" with the second type. Mori could potentially go into the second camp - there is some respect and resentment there at the same time. He even talks about this with Kunikida in Entrance exam.
"“I guess. But you, Kunikida, I’ve got a good idea of who you are now, so nothing you do will ever surprise me. I mean, compared with me, you’re just a simple man with a simple mind, after all.”
See? You wear your heart on your sleeve. You don’t hide how you’re really feeling. It’s nice. You know what else is nice? Just knowing that you’re going to be worrying later to yourself, ‘Am I really that simple?’”
“Why, you—”
But I refrain from arguing. Whatever my response, he’s just going to end up telling me, “I knew you’d say that.”
I suppose that being around Kunikida comforts him since he is predictable, yet kind. On the other hand, someone like Chuuya excites him, because he is wild and challenging enough, but is still a good person when it comes down to it. Basically, Dazai is hypervigilant of pain.
Akutagawa is “off the chain” in comparison to all of them. I am under the impression that Dazai can care about people without treating them well at all, and 2 of the people who are at the top of his list (Chuuya and Aku) are people he “seems” to dislike (In Chuuya’s case rather openly in his profile).
It appears that the more “intense” and “unpolished” parts of Dazai’s personality are strictly reserved for people he cares about, but he is extremely selective about who he shows emotional empathy to as it’s such a rare experience for him. He may capable of "cutting off" empathy to protect himself emotionally. It is quite clear some aspects of empathy miss him broadly in Beast, when he appears shocked that Oda would react so strongly to endangering Akutagawa since “it’s all supposed to end well if he survives”. That sentence itself is totally tone-deaf, yet Dazai is acting as if Oda is supposed to take that normally. It’s quite clear that Dazai doesn’t treat Atsushi all that well in Beast either, as he exploits his fears for Atsushi to be totally obedient to him.
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I really like this moment, because it demonstrates that even if Dazai does have some point regarding Akutagawa and the way he goes about things, the way he has treated him is still too much – and Dazai can’t exactly convince Oda, a decent person, why this is ever justifiable under any circumstances. There is an aspect of regular empathy that misses Dazai – it doesn’t cross his mind why his actions are inherently bad. Perhaps it is possible that Dazai was treated with little to no empathy growing up, so he accepted that as a model for acceptable behavior. A lot of the time, cruel actions don't seem to even register to him as bad, in an almost innocent way. It's like it doesn't cross his mind that stuff is out of the ordinary. When talking to Oda about this, he was described as "childlike".
However, Dazai shows a lot of extreme emotional empathy for Oda, which tends to be rare for people with ASPD (obviously, all traits of it are on a spectrum).
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Dazai clearly feels as if he himself is being beaten when Oda suffers. Furthermore, “Beast” shows that he is willing to endanger multiple people he cares about so Oda could live and write his book. In his words “the me from other worlds doesn’t care about the world” – showing that even though he may “care” about people, it’s really hard for him to fully emotionally connect with others.
This leads him to severe feelings of loneliness and isolation, but it’s quite clear Oda is the exception to this.
Dazai has multiple anxiety attacks when meeting with Oda in Beast and TIPUD:
“I see.” Oda says after he gives it a moment of thought. “I’ll do so then. That is very kind of you. You are a good guy.”
Dazai’s expression becomes distorted.
He opens his mouth, and closes it again, as if he can no longer breathe.
If he tells him everything now, maybe things will go back to how they were. The two of them will go to the bar together and have a toast. Just like that night.
“Odasa…”
Just as Dazai is about to say that name, a train passes by. The express train passing through that station cuts through the silence of the night, right next to where Dazai and Oda is."
and obviously the whole showdown at the bar. Earlier, Oda mentions that Dazai looks like he is about to cry:
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 An interesting part here is that Dazai gets shocked that Oda would even consider that Dazai could hurt him:
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It almost sounds absurd that Dazai, who is known for scheming even against people he likes, would be that surprised someone would expect this from him. This, to me, shows that Dazai does have that underdeveloped, childish emotional side to himself, where he doesn’t understand everything he does. It’s quite logical why Oda, or anyone else, would be consistently doubtful of Dazai, yet he is so used to not caring about anyone, that when he does feel things he is remarkably unpolished and just as illogical as anyone else. I’d say his heart is like a knife that went blunt from lack of use. Since he has no experience dealing with people he feels strongly about, it always comes across very messy – and Asagiri himself often describes him as childish at his most vulnerable.
Furthermore, the lyrics of the song for Beast have these words to say: “Loving you to death won’t kill me Because I don’t love this world enough” And in the Beast novel, he mentions all he has to give to the world is love. I think we can certainly see that Dazai is not emotionless.
To me it seems like Dazai is capable of selective emotional empathy. I feel like one of the reasons Oda was “the one” Dazai attached himself to the most, is because Oda was a struggling man who was also depressed (rather clear the more you read), but he was empathetic and accepted Dazai for who he was.
Him and Dazai had difficulties in common (the guy was a killer as a kid too), yet Oda did his best to be a good person – that is one of the reasons, as Asagiri mentions, why he had an “outburst” when Kyouka implied former killers can’t be good people. Oda was a good person in his eyes, and his role model of “empathy”: someone he wished to emulate. I am pretty sure that Oda became the blueprint for the moral compass he strives towards.
Most importantly, Oda didn’t really judge Dazai when he showed his lack of empathy, while he remained firm in what he believed in.
“Odasaku is the type of person who will never lecture anyone. Because he does not consider himself a superior person who can teach and guide others. However, it doesn’t mean that he has nothing he wants to say. The sentiments that he couldn’t convey in these two scenes were finally delivered to Dazai in the last scene through the words “Become a good person.” Very meaningful scenes when read as a set.”
is how Asagiri described Oda during the exhibit. As Asagiri says, one of the reasons he didn’t tell Dazai anything when he provoked the sniper was his modesty. Since Oda didn’t look down on him, yet showed concern and fully understood Dazai wasn’t just a struggling depressed kid, but someone with serious issues who also happened to be a child – Dazai grew to deeply care for him. Oda didn't shame him, likely avoiding Dazai's hypervigilant sensor for pain.
Selective empathy is common for many disorders – and Dazai, after not feeling “seen” his whole life, ended up making a true connection with Oda. I guess, in that sense – Oda was the one who really reached Dazai’s heart, and since he was the only one who came that close, all of Dazai’s emotional empathy is reserved for him.
In my opinion, the reason Dazai was so difficult to “get to” was that even people who had good intentions toward him never truly saw him.
To see Dazai as a depressed woobie who just needs to be saved is to idealize him – which wouldn’t exactly help him. They’re talking about a version of him that doesn’t exist. If the only way he could be seen as worthwhile was someone seeing him as more “traditionally good” than he truly is, it’s not going to work. He needs to be seen for exactly who he is, and still given a chance to be better.
Likewise, it had to be someone who wasn’t helping him in order to get something from him. I would say that one of the main reasons why Dazai got so attached to Oda was because his friend had no reason to save him, he gave him space, and didn’t even force himself into Dazai’s life.
It was purely altruistic, and for Dazai, who expects the worst from others and seems to fear people’s intentions, this was perfect. One of the main aspects of Dazai's character is his anxious-avoidant attachment style, where he is likely so afraid of potential pain, he pushes others away, or punishes anyone he cares about who might hurt him preemptively. A lot of this is not impulsive, but calculated, which is why he feels a natural resistance to Akutagawa (but relates to him and cares all the more because of it). He understands the self-destructive nature of Akutagawa.
"If I’d left him to his own devices, he would’ve ended up a slave to his own powers until he destroyed himself.”" I believe Dazai likely allows himself to fully empathize with Oda because he feels only Oda is "safe" in this world. The fact that Oda is dead and gone perhaps makes caring for him even safer, as his image of Oda will never change.
Conclusion: I'd say Dazai is someone who is probably extremely traumatized, with a specific emotional profile that doesn't allow him to experience empathy like normal people do - and this is one of the defining traits of the character for me. He is able to isolate himself from normal social pressures and boundaries - and because of this and his extreme intellect, he feels like an alien in this world. A lot of his struggle likely deals with the fact that he dislikes the hurtful person he is, but has difficulty seeing why he should be better - all while he has a distaste for sadism, cruelty and senseless violence in others. In my opinion, a lot of his own cruelty is "reactive": he acts "evil" because he expects the same from others ("evil expects evil from others), and decides he wants to beat them to the punch. He is comforted when he is in the presence of altruistic and empathetic people, because he doesn't have to be what he dislikes (as "enemy" evil will always make him react since he is threatened). In the end, he rationally sees that cruelty is negative, but he still feels it is an effective tool. If Dazai weren't this way, he wouldn't consistently choose empathetic people for his company throughout the story, while acting callous himself most of the time.
A lot of things Dazai does to me feel like he is avoiding hurt, or attempting to "control the pain" he gets in his life. Notably, Dazai mostly lets himself get "bullied" by people he sees as innocent and simple like Kunikida, since "Kunikida will never surprise him" - he knows that Doppo won't cross the line. Ironically, he famously says he "dislikes physical pain", but often gets himself into physically dangerous scenarios.
It's like he doesn't mind pain if he's the one in control (when Fyodor let the sniper shoot him, when that dude from Mimic shot him point blank). Avoidance of pain and control are other keys to Dazai's character. In that sense, I think Dazai was possibly traumatized and learned to almost completely disassociate from empathy early in his life. There are so many theories I could think of here that we'd get nowhere.
It is clear that Dazai is capable of extreme emotional empathy due to his relationship with Oda, and it's possible he doesn't allow himself to feel it in most scenarios due to his avoidant nature regarding pain. However, whatever the reason behind it, it is clear he doesn't feel a ton of emotional empathy in his day-to-day life, and this disassociation from empathy has crafted him into a person who doesn't fully understand "normal humans".
That is why he sees them as fascinating after Oda dies - he reaches Dazai's heart and opens him up to the idea that not all people are unempathetic and cruel - meaning Dazai doesn't always have to be on guard. Does Dazai have ASPD, or is his lack of empathy a result of other things: PTSD, CPTSD, is he perhaps autistic? I can't say for sure, as it could be so many things. Personally, anyone could make an argument for any of these in my eyes. Above, I mostly analyzed his displays of empathy and tried to study which emotional patterns he appears to follow. I think Dazai's character arc has a lot of worth specifically because we see someone for whom emotional empathy may not be natural trying to be good. It's a unique ethical dilemma, and that's one of the reasons I feel in love with the series. Since it isn't natural for him, his efforts mean a lot, and the struggle feels real and genuine.
Thank you all for reading if you made it this far <3 I've taken a lot of posts and translations I've gathered over the years, and I am sure I won't be able to thank everyone, but, I'd like to show appreciation for popopretty, aja154ever and many others for sharing info from exhibitions, databooks and so. Have a nice day !
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nayatarot777 · 2 months
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Lilith in Scorpio/8th house
this is intuitive astrology. meaning that i’m making these notes based on what i intuitively pick up about this astrological point being merged with these signs. take it with a grain of salt and understand that you might not relate to everything that i get from your placement 🖤
Astrology Masterlist
scorpio/8th house themes are always surrounding the taboo areas of life: death + birth/rebirth, trauma, debt + taxes, other people’s assets that they give to you (like an inheritance, for example), conscious secrets and fears (not secrets and fears like what you find in pisces/12th house - you don’t realise exist. 8th house secrets and fears are those that you consciously know about but don’t talk about), intimacy, sexuality, shared resources, and power and control.
the first thing that i think of when i see this placement is people shaming you for your traumas. the people who literally get victim blamed for the ways that they’ve been abused, shamed, and oppressed.
you could’ve experienced shame towards the way that you grieve too. towards someone’s death or your own trauma. for some reason, people love to shame you out of purging very real and very valid emotions during the grieving process.
your lilith energy is potent in scorpio/8th house. since this sign and house is the area of taboos, people could literally treat you like you’re a taboo yourself. as if you’re a topic of conversation that shouldn’t be touched on.
this placement could make a lot of people fear you as taboos and the unknown are usually feared - therefore avoided.
^ that’s another point. you’ve probably experienced people avoiding you like the plague. simply because your energy seems ‘dangerous’ or scary in some way.
an obsession with the taboos of society - sex, death, murder - anything that you can think of that society would look at you like you’re crazy for freely talking about.
also indicates a lot of obsession with anything occult. occultism could be where you find your personal power. where you channel your rage from all of the times that you were scapegoated, oppressed, and abused. for example: someone who send dark and baneful magic to those who’ve fucked with them.
you guys have the most potent energy of a man-eater if you’re a woman. this isn’t like lilith in the 1st house/aries in which men will see you as their opponent to challenge. you’re literally seen by them as woman who are threats. threats that they can’t fight or dominate because they wouldn’t even know how to oppose you.
^ again, your feminine energy is one big taboo. and taboos are never ventured into. it’s like trying to fight the darkness. or a ghost. something that you know of but don’t understand and don’t want to. men could never.
if you find yourself suppressing this energy, then you’ll find yourself meeting people and falling victim to people (especially men) who are the worst human beings that you could imagine. murderous-type people. the people who could cause you serious harm. and these are usually men who you end up merging with heavily in relationships (as this is the sign/house of intimacy).
you could face a double dose of shame from yourself for the secrets that you know you carry. especially if they’re sexual secrets.
your sexuality could be very taboo too. i said this in the lilith in taurus/2nd house observations - lilith in scorpio/8th house is a placement that could indicate prostitution. actually having sex with clients in exchange for money, and not just using sex appeal or the image of sex to make money.
^ but random, but if you have lilith in gemini in the 8th house, or your lilith placement just has aspects to 3rd house planets/mercury, you could lead a double life that involves you selling sexual content online. and nobody knows about this.
this placement is also a placement that makes me think of people who marry rich people for the sake of gaining that inheritance money after their spouse dies. you know the young women who marry old men who are knocking at death’s door? yeah 😂
you find a lot of shame from others for your sexuality but a lot of power too. could be into power dynamics in your relationships/deep sexual relationships - like BDSM dynamics.
you have the power to manipulate people into giving you their money/possessions and assets through your sexuality. doesn’t even have to be through sex itself because your sexual energy is POTENT. you hold power over other people’s shit.
you could fear showing femininity in a way. just because you know that - considering the world we live in - femininity is not viewed as something powerful by men. and lilith in scorpio/8th house is all about holding onto power. therefore, you may keep your feminine side a secret to yourself.
could’ve experienced the most shame in long term relationships, after marriage, etc. after you gain a certain level of intimacy with someone, that person turns around and shames you.
and that’s why lilith here is a very prominent placement for experiencing extremely heavy-hitting betrayals. therefore gaining a huge fear of intimacy and being betrayed again.
your sexuality could be very dark. adding onto the sexual secrets, you could have secret kinks and fetishes that you feel like the average person would shame you and demonise you heavily for.
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project-sekai-facts · 4 months
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Here's a fun little Project Sekai fact! Almost all of your faves have appropriated other cultures as costumes and some have even done blackface. If you're supporting this game and refusing to make a meaningful statement about it beyond "b-b-but i said it was bad! 🥺", you are fucking racist.
You're either anti-racist, or you're a pro-seka blog. Choose one. You can't be both.
Basically everything is problematic and actually I have criticised the cultural appropriation and racism present in the game multiple times, at no point have I refused to acknowledge it (and you’re not the first person to send an anon in). You can play the game and be anti-racist actually it’s called being critical of the media you consume and having social awareness, we’ve been over this. Everything is problematic you probably like problematic media too.
Yeah the game did revival my dream and that was fucking racist, the costumes are stereotypical and they didn’t research into any specifc native culture they just wanted to make something that would get them money. it’s not princess mononoke put the trained costumes next to each other, the trained costumes are heavily stylised to look "pretty and fashionable" and forego accuracy. I’m aware of that, I’ve said this before multiple times but you wouldn’t know that because you just randomly came here to send me this message.
Then there's also the kamikou sports fes set. Luka's qipao is very obviously altered for the sake of fanservice which is just so wrong, do not sexualise other cultures for money. Rui's I think is meant to be some sort of military hanfu? But quite stylised, which again for someone outside the original culture to stylise a traditional outfit just is a no-go because you will probably get things wrong. Mizuki's outfit seems to be based on Qi-lolita and there's a whole thing surrounding that about whether you should wear it if you aren't chinese.
and then there's the island panic cards which are both orientalist. yes, not just the boys, the girls too. the outfits aren't based on any specific culture and just mishmash different swana and south asian cultures and stereotypes together to make something that looks "exotic".
If you notice a recurring thing is that all of these are in some way wxs related, and wonder why that is, it’s because they’re the theatre unit. They wear costumes, these are just cultures being appropriated as stage outfits, because the devs don’t care they just want a quick bit of money.
all of these are horribly common in idol games and gacha games, not just project sekai, and it's important to recognise the problems rather than just blindly consuming it. If it makes money, devs will continue to include ca, recognise that.
and yeah puchiseka episode 6 happened at no point have i ever denied that. it should have never happened but it did and at the very least the fandom was able to rally together and get sega to take it down. even after they did that sega and clpl should still be held accountable for even letting it be released. while they didn't make the episode, that was entirely handled by an external company (who should also be held accountable for their actions - we're never getting a second season for a reason), sega still released it knowing full well the contents. it wasn't ganguro like people said it was extremely clearly based on a very racist and crude interpretation of african tribes, and for part of a joke no less. It was disgusting. And it’s not ganguro like how people defend it; ganguro is part of the gyaru subculture and the outfits in that episode were not that. there is no defence for what happened. at the very least, it was impressive that the fandom called out the episode and actually got staff to listen and learn. that doesn't happen in other games, and we managed to do it again with rmd. the fanbase is calling the game out and actually educating staff. It’s just critical consumption - fans of the media were able to recognise that the episode was racist and correctly called out management with enough of a voice to make staff correct their mistakes. They apologised, it’s not my apology to accept, and I still hold them accountable for the fact it even happened.
This probably all makes me sound like a white saviour, and I don’t want to speak over the people affected by this, but that’s what you wanted, isn’t it? You probably have me blocked already and never followed me in the first place, but if you really wanted to call out racism, then maybe you should’ve sent this to blogs that do turn a blind eye to the flaws in this game, not one that calls them out. Why just me? Was it because of the username, because you’re not the first person to make that quip. I know you won’t see this anon, but a word of advice. Most media is problematic one way or another, you can enjoy something but still be aware of and acknowledge its problems. Project sekai is not made with the intent of encouraging or funding harmful behaviour, yet it still includes some harmful content. Call it out, educate staff and tell them not to do it again, they listened once they can do it again.
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henry-fox-biggest-stan · 10 months
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Okay so I need people are who are diagnosed as autistic to help me out here
I been suspecting for a long time (like around a year, maybe more idk) than I might be autistic, and I did research (genuinely, not just taking some Internet quiz and self-diagnosing based on it) and I want to know if there’s a genuine chance I might be autistic, or if I have a wrong view on autism (basically, if I’m wrong about it and what it means to be autistic).
Some things than happen to me than I’ve seen also happen to a big amount of autistic people
-Problems with food since very little. Not based on taste, but texture. Eating something with the wrong texture is just horrible.
-Always felt different from my peers, never quite fitting in because I didn’t know how to interact with them. As if they knew exactly what to do and I was just flying blind. I heard people say than they felt as if everyone was born with a book of rules, meanwhile they had to learn from watching everyone else already know them, and I think that’s the best way for me to explain it.
-Intense interests on stuff, really intense. Like, is all I can think about day and night, I relate everything to it in some way or another, I know everything about it down to the smallest detail, some might call me obsessed and I wouldn’t deny it. Reminds me of the way people with autism describe their hiperfixations.
-People thought I was “gifted” as a kid, and said than I was a kid with the mind of an adult. I’m no genius, I was just interested on different stuff than other kids. I was the first one to learn to read and I never stopped. I basically lived in the library as a kid. I have a vivid memory of when I must have been like 10 and saying than my favorite thing in the world was reading and some friends looking at me like I was crazy. I’m mentioning this not because people who are autistic are “gifted”, but more because I heard they are usually interested in different stuff than their peers (doesn’t have to be more mature, it can be more immature stuff too, I think. Goes hand in hand with feeling different from everyone). Continuing on books, I also always had a higher reading level than the rest of my class. I was “a pleasure to have in class but should speak out more” kid.
-Looking back they were obviously bullying me, but I thought than they were laughing with me, not at me.
-I can’t hear the tone of my voice?? For some reason?? Sometimes I speak too loudly or too quietly or my mom says I’m being rude for “talking back” but in my head my voice is the same level and uses the same tone. So if I’m ever rude I probably don’t notice (I hate being rude to people).
-I read about overstimulation and under stimulation and it perfectly described the way I feel a lot of time. Specially overstimulation.
-If talking about something I really enjoy (hiperfixations?) I can’t be still. I’ll probably smile and fidget with something and the mere mention of it or anything regarding it outside of online spaces makes me want to scream out of excitement. Like, a really abnormal reaction to it, I believe.
-I prefer to be home on my own than outside (specially if there’s lots of people around). I don’t know if it’s hard for me to see how people are feelings, given than I learnt to notice when people don’t want me somewhere (eventually you get used to it) but sometimes when people are being nice to me I’m completely unable to see if they’re being genuine or not. An example, I was forced to spend a week sharing a room with this pair of really popular girls because of a school trip, and they were nice to me, starting conversations and stuff. So because they seemed nice, I thought they were nice. But at the end of the week I approached them and they gave me the dirtiest look and I realize they weren’t actually being genuine, they were just kind of being forced to be nice to me.
-I hate changes of routine, everyday I have the same routine and if someone wants it to change (go somewhere and do something together) they have to tell me at least a day in advance. Unless I really like them, I will feel uneasy to change my routine because it makes me feel as if I was messing everything up.
-I don’t know if it has anything to do with this, but I’m adding it just in case. I hated physical touch as a kid. Up until some years ago, I couldn’t stand it. Also don’t know if it’s related, but I always had trouble sleeping, I heard that might be a symptom but I don’t know.
-I went to a speech therapist as a kid because I couldn’t pronounce the letter s and I pronounced it as z, sometimes it still comes out. I heard problems in speech might be related but I doubt it, just adding just in case.
-I have a big sense of justice. For example everyone in my class cheats on their exams (they don’t even hide it, is more, they brag about it), and that has always upset me. Not because they can copy while I actually study, but because cheating is wrong. That’s not how it works. Why are they breaking the rules. Or for example they bring their phones to school (not nearly as bad as cheating) which is forbidden, and I don’t understand why they do that. It’s forbidden, so why?
-I notice patterns in almost everything, I also focus more on the little details than the big picture, which leads to both overthinking but also better results.
-I need people to speak to me separately. Having a conversation with two people at the same time feels like a nightmare.
-I need people to tell me things, if they want me to do them. If you made something for me to eat, don’t just put it on the table, tell me it’s for me. Otherwise I won’t touch it out of fear it’s not mine. When given instructions, I need them to be clear and detailed. All people my age are doing stuff like going to parties, drinking alcohol, meanwhile I never think of doing it and also, never knew I could do it? When did the change between going to the park to hang out without our parents for the first time and going to a party with alcohol around lots of strangers happened? Why did no one told me? How do everyone just know when to change and grow up? Why don’t I?
-Something I also noticed is than every fictional character I related to had various autism symptoms (said by people on the fandoms who are actually autistic).
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maryonaccross · 10 months
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I hate the juxtaposition the writers try to make by painting Alicent as the sexually repressed patriarchy abiding woman and then try to show RHAENYRA as the sexually liberated one.
Are you… are you being serious? Rhaenyra who was groomed and manipulated by her UNCLE her whole life is supposed to be somehow more sexually liberated than Alicent who is stuck in an arranged marriage to a way older man? That’s the dream of sexual liberation? Being groomed by a close relative?
I mean at least Alicent and Viserys aren’t related. But apart from that their marriage is every bit as problematic as Rhaenyra’s relationship with her groomer.
The age gap between Rhaenyra and Daemon can’t be more than a couple years smaller than that of Alicent and Viserys. And the fact that he is her relative that took advantage of her vulnerability after the death of her mother to coerce her into sexual acts to ruin her reputation in order to gain political advantage is vomit inducing.
The thing that baffles me is how many people actually look at the scene where we we’re simultaneously shown Viserys maritally raping Alicent and Daemon coercing his niece to sexual acts in the brothel and don’t see this scene as the clear parallel it is.
People who don’t realize that remind me of Colleen Hoover fans that are only able to recognize abusive relationships when the abuse is explicitly shoved in their face in the form of physical violence and cannot recognize it when it is shown in a more subtle form like grooming, manipulation, dubious consent, and deception.
We could clearly see throughout the show how much Daemon’s grooming has had a long lasting effect on Rhaenyra’s life and personality. She isn’t able to build profound romantic relationships with anyone other than her uncle (remember how she forgot Harwin cough the father of her children cough even existed the moment Daemon showed up?) and we see her regress to an uncertain teenage girl at the moment he returns to her life ( she spills all her secrets to him the minute they’re alone without even thinking of possible consequences )
In Emma D’Arcy’s words:
"This is essentially a grooming scenario. The idea that a teenage girl is in any way able to consent to that sexual interaction is a mess. There is no way that power can be equally distributed in that relationship."
- Emma D’Arcy
( And please, do not come screaming in the comments about how things were different the books. I’m talking about THE SHOW and basing this on what we saw in the show, such as for example Daemon admitting that Rhaenyra was a child when he left to go into exile, and what the actors have to say about this relationship. I can understand why it can be frustrating that some things were adapted differently but using the book as an argument doesn’t hold any weight because there have been many notable changes in the adaptation.)
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hon3ymo0n · 5 months
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What’s the difference?
I’ve been thinking about this for 2 weeks, now. And it’s actually something that, I guess, most people and/or Jikookers (who this post is for, at the end of the day) already know. Nothing new, nothing different. Just my thoughts and reflections on it, since it’s a curious phenomenon which I’m sure some of you can even know better and more about. So a good and enriching convo could come out.
The actual trigger, if I’m being honest, were Jungkook’s dating rumors, back in September. For context: on the Chinese platform “Weibo”, an user shared videos of a man back hugging a woman in his apartment, in which many elements seemed to match with Jungkook’s, starting from the dog seen in the clips, and some others didn’t, such as the walls and windows. The case has been closed by many as soon as it came out; others joined when it became quite clear how the set up stalking and sharing were actually meant to hurt Jungkook and ruin his upcoming promotions, along with rumors of him harassing female staff, acting inappropriate and “explicit” in clubs with random women (with fake and edited, yet slanderers, pictures) and cheating (or even getting them pregnant) on different girlfriends.
All at the same time.
Others still trust the source/s and believe it’s reliable content, even after Jungkook’s own denying. Again, nothing new.
Back to what I was saying, I’m not talking about the rumors themselves cause cmon, I didn’t spend my time on it at the time, let alone now. Not worth it at all. But it did trigger something, more than the others (Winter, Han SoHee, Yubi, Nicole, Qatar blonde), and that’s because, as usual, people were foaming at the mouth and willing to trust not trustworthy pages, which post blurred, shaming, illegal contents, just so they could feed their satisfying idea of Jungkook dating or being attracted by women. As a (queer) human, it brings me down.
Anyways, the old and ancient realization about how easy it is for some people to believe such things just because they’re pleasing, came back to the surface. And together with it, Jikook. My mind went straight to them.
Because it takes nothing, for people, to believe the rationally unbelievable, forcing pieces of different puzzles to stay together; but those same people will always make sure to cover their eyes and turn their heads the other way, when Jikook perfectly fit.
Except for the extreme defamations, such as harassment or public indecency, most of the things people base their opinions on, about Jungkook’s rumors (and also Jimin, I’d say, sometimes), have actually been exclusive and consistent between Jikook.
Not only the back hugs, but also the spending off-work time together, the “friends sharing”, the clothes sharing and matching, or the smiles and looks. The small, work related and professional interactions between HanSohee and Jungkook, on set, are actually intentional and intimate between Jikook; the cute and polite conversations Nicole and Jungkook had are actually flirty and soft between Jikook; the fake not reliable videos that have been shared showing a playful back hug, are the actual and absolute nothing compared to what we saw and witnessed to between Jikook.
On camera, and off camera. Things we were not supposed to see, as well. Unfortunately leaked, yet true, contents. And that’s where I’m stopping now, because we’re not taking that reckless road.
After noticing, for the 100th time or more, how uncomfortable Jikook’s truthfulness makes people feel, turning them all in blind, limited animals (is it actually a bad thing? Feels safer, at this point), I kinda let the thoughts flow and accepted the way things go.
Until, as I said at the beginning, two weeks ago. When Jungkook commented Seventeen’s Seungkwan’s live using Mingyu’s weverse account, since they were spending some late night time together.
I’ll never drag Mingyu into this, just like I didn’t back then after his short live at Jungkook’s place, because their friendship is pure and immaculate. Something Jungkook (I mention him because it’s him that I actively follow) seems to care about a lot. Someone who makes him smile and have fun, who he shares challenges and time with, and who he definitely trusts. Jungkook feels comfortable with him, and Mingyu actually is an unproblematic idol. So there’s no way, in the entire world, that we’re doing or discussing something that could hurt or disrespect Mingyu. An hardworking and talented artist just like his mate.
I need to mention him because, again, of context.
After Jungkook’s comments, which actually made clear that him and Mingyu were physically together, social medias reacted and I noticed something maybe almost worse than the whole discussion above.
I never base my opinion on tweets or tik toks, except for times when (just like this one) said tweets and tik toks go extremely viral, are viewed by millions of people, liked and shared by thousands and thousands. In that case, they’re a clear feedback. Just like the Rosé rumor, a full blown lie, based on a fake picture, that 12+ millions of people believed, viewed and liked.
That’s how internet works. Things flow, people see, double tap and scroll, I guess.
I’m not posting the tweets because I have nothing against OPs. They probably had no bad intentions, didn’t even think about what I’m talking about; their sarcasm (up to a certain point) was meant to cause no harm or hate. This whole post is full of thoughts and impressions, no accusations.
I read things like “he said he doesn’t have a girlfriend, not a boyfriend”: 40K people liked. Almost 2M viewed.
“Are they…are Jungkook and Mingyu…?”. Another hit tweet. And the comments, just as much liked, being like “they must be”.
Someone said “the matching outfits and now this. It only means one thing in Korea”; “they want the rumors, at this point”; “Mingyu is the only person on Jungkook’s tik tok and now they share profiles”.
And so on, that I didn’t read or catch.
This made me think, a lot, repetitively. Not because of Mingyu, not because of people posting these jokes (?). It’s not that.
It’s the fact that, even when Jikookers actually have something to say, something that it’s objectively, at least, worth of being heard, are always (or almost) shut down. What I read the most are the friendship and disrespectful behaviour argumentations. “They’re brothers, they grew up together. It’s disrespectful to assume their sexuality”. Always when it comes to a queer, sexuality.
“Their friendship is so cute” under a video of Jungkook frozen and enchanted, in the dark, looking at Jimin’s videos on his big ass tv.
“They share clothes, buy them together. They like the same things. You can’t say someone is dating just by that”. Still, the Korean culture gives such an enormous importance to these details and habits.
“They probably sent those doodles to each other, stop assuming things they didn’t say”. Only for Jungkook to prove they were actually together, at the same time, in the same place.
“Jimin posted a picture of their backs, but what if Jungkook didn’t want him to?”. Only for Jungkook to post a picture of his back exactly one month before Jimin’s birthday.
“You look like the cult. Stop saying Jikook care about numbers. That’s creepy”. Only for Jungkook to send Jimin a text for his birthday at 10:13.
Feels like I’m reinventing the wheel. But it’s curious, saddening to an extent. And I could bring up so many other examples. I just don’t want to.
The fault and blame is not on the ones who can freely speak and make jokes about Jungkook being involved with Mingyu (I bet those same people have been shut off by someone too), but it’s on those who always like those jokes, except when they come to the Busan brothers.
It’s on those people who belittle obvious, romantic and loud gestures, making people who share and appreciate them feel vulnerable and wrong.
That’s why I like preserving my space and feeling like it’s safe enough to share different opinions and/or unpopular ones; because it’s sad.
It’s sad to think about the amount of good and honest people who have been shut off repeatedly, and the amount of dumb ones who are let talking, and talking, and talking.
As long as what they say doesn’t hurt anyone’s safe-imagery.
Needed to take this off my chest. Makes me feel kinda childish, but also like this repressed frustration is actually legit.
But really. Why Jikook’s worse than the fake girlfriends they’re rumored with? What makes Jikook wrong, but them right?
What’s the difference?
I guess we all already know the answer, sadly.
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iireneleee · 9 months
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MY FAVOURITE PLACEMENTS FOR EACH SIGN (with explanation of course 😚😚)
remember, don’t take this too seriously cause this whole thing is fully based on my own personal opinion so im sorry if I didn’t mention your placement(s). don’t be offended okay?! MUAH I love all of yall 💋
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Aries: I’d probably say 50% venus 25% moon 15% sun — honestly this is kinda hard for me cause my best best friend is an Aries moon and I get along very well with Aries moons however… this one girl that I broke off all contacts with cause she was obsessive ( she still hasn’t stop💔💔 even though we stopped talking for 2 years, super creepy) 50% venus because omg literally almost every single lovely person I know has that placement it’s mad. maybe it’s bc my venus conjuncts theirs (I’m also an aries venus) they express love in a way I adore so 💕💕 for aries sun, 25% because I’m only close with one aries sun but she’s literally so fly I love. but she says some weird stuff occasionally though she’s too unfiltered HAHAHA love that.
Taurus: definitely taurus moon 50% and taurus mercury 50% — taurus moons are literally the cutest people ever. idk why but all of y’all are like little hamsters in my eyes. taurus moons remind me so much of hamsters. many of you are probably leaders and I love being around you guys. super sweet and always there when I need y’all muah muah. people always stereotype you guys as lazy people but every single taurus moon I know are the most hardworking people ever. super admirable individuals 😚😚 those who have natal taurus mercury people are the funniest. y’all are like LOWKEY old souls. very good people to be in a group project with cause they always voice out the best opinions and ideas. they are also really relatable individuals they say things that many people would like relate to idk how to describe it, meme worthy i guess?? I love y’all so much. sometimes they ignore people when they say stupid stuff but whatever they’re literally one of the best people so they get a free pass.🤫🤫
Gemini: mmmm I’d say 50% gemini suns and 50% gemini risings. honestly, I haven’t met many gemini placements 😭 my sister is a gemini rising so i might be a little biased HAHAH sorry my bad my bad. i love gemini risings they always give me one of the best first impressions. i tend to get along really well with gemini risings and tend to gravitate towards them hehe. also for gemini suns, most are pretty cool. i realise that gemini suns tend to be really nice and grounded when you meet them but when you get closer to them they’re little devils IN A GOOD WAY hahah. all my interactions and memories with gemini suns are actually really good. they always promise a good time 🙏🙏
Cancer: CANCER VENUS🔥🔥 for sure cancer venus. omg i love them. they give really good hugs LOL. super sweet individuals. i love the way they express their love it’s so cute especially when you’re the recipient of the love literally so 😍😍. one of my friends have this placement and oml she gives such meaningful gifts. she is the reason why I have high expectations for gifts LOL. i really hope i get to befriend more cancer venuses 💔💔 they’re really thoughtful people who take initiative very very lovely 🫶
Leo: leo moons 🙏🙏 y’all are so chill. literally are the 😐 people ITS SO FUNNY . I love y’all so much I always have ‘beef’ with leo moons lol literally tom and jerry but it’s so fun. bickering (affectionately) I know I lot who don’t study but r really smart or at least all of y’all tell me you don’t study😐😐 I know a lot of you guys who r dancers too and omg really pro dancers srs srs. super fun people but they lowkey about it.
Virgo: definitely virgo sun + virgo venus I have so many virgo sun babes (aka friends) they’re so so sweet. im always having a fun carefree time when im with you guys. never a dull moment. you guys are like my babies srs srs you guys just gave me that youthful feel and it’s so refreshing omg🫂🫂. virgo venus people are so funny idek why they’re so underrated. they’re also very big mouth literally tell them something humiliating that happen to you and if it doesn’t sound like you’re very bothered by it trust people around you probably also know about it BUT it’s okay cause they cute, I can never get mad at them. also very playful people. 💋💋 i love talking to them but at the end of the convo omg we are like probably fighting / arguing (affectionately) LOL i don’t get many gifts from them honestly but they LOVE to give food. hehe 💋💋 to my virgo venus sweethearts
Libra: libra suns + libra moons so 50 - 50 hehe libra suns are really helpful people. they’re like honestly very libra idk why. they’re so so sweet, always there to listen to you ramble. my mama is a libra sun and omg she’s always listening to me ramble and rant ITS SO FUNNY. sometimes you guys are too nice to people that they tend to take advantage of your kindness so always be on the look out and know your worth 😚😚 . libra moons ARE SO FUNNY. i love you guys, y’all always make me lose my breath over your jokes. super random people who talk about out of pocket things but it’s so unique and fun with you guys that I can’t help but laugh everytime i see yalls face. also pretty smart people. you guys always do your best in things that you’re passionate about and it’s really admirable however, when y’all dgaf about stuff man all that quality work is gone LOL but it’s okay me too. best people to have around y’all remind me of those circus seals. 🔥🔥firee
Scorpio: scorpio venus — I really love scorpio venus individuals omg. they’re always there for you and always ready to attend all your big moments without fail. I had this one friend who has a scorpio venus and she take time out of her own busy schedule to train me for my interview and we stayed at the place until like the sunset it was so wholesome. not only did she do that but she was with me when I got my interview results like I was so shocked I thought she stayed cause she also had something to do afterwards but turns out she had nothing to do and she planned to wait for me and leave right after omg i literally melted. I treasure her so much and because of that I’ve always had a good impression of her. super sweet individuals. little cinnamon buns, warm and sweet. they also really are big on physical touch cliché I know but it’s real HAHA. everyone should have a scorpio venus friend or significant other 😭😭💋💋
Sagittarius: sagittarius moons — out of all my close friends in my click, half are sagittarius moons, it’s literally mad. they’re such unique individuals all of them have different personalities even though they have the same moon. but one thing they all have in common is that they find the weirdest stupidest unfunniest jokes funny. it’s mad. I can pull out a photo of a cat on the ground holding a fish and they’d be cracking up like mad. they all really enjoy being around positive and responsible people, people who are like them. they always burst out laughing idk y they try to hold their laugh but they never laugh normally. I love them though it’s always so comfortable around them MUAHHH💋💋
Capricorn: capricorn moons + capricorn mercury 50-50 — omg my baby capricorn moons, they’re so athletic, or maybe it’s just the capricorn moons I know but omg they’re so competitive when it comes to sport. they’re actually really reliable people even though they may seem quite playful and reckless. they tend to be good at math. love food. they also like to make handmade things for their friends and it’s really random. sometimes I come out of class one day and they just ask me if I want a cookie. LOL and one of my friends gave me a piece of paper that she doodled and drew on FOR ME it’s so cute and random but makes me physically like become the 🥺 emoji. love u guys. for capricorn mercuries y’all have the most underrated humour YALL ARE SO FUNNY LOL. you guys make the funniest jokes with the straightest faces like this face, 😐. MAKES ITS EVEN FUNNIER LOL. y’all tend to text a lot and are quite talkative actually. love you guys cause you guys never hesitate to make the conversation about the other party rather than yourself LOL JOKING ( but FR though you guys make me feel like the main character whenever I’m talking to u ) 🫂🫂
Aquarius: mmm i haven’t really befriended many who have aquarius placements so this may not be relatable😭😭 sorry!! but I’ll have to go with aquarius moons. — I tend to get attracted to aquarius moons cause they seem really fun. idk why but they all seem like a ball of sun to me. they remind me of fluffy cows HAHAH. they’re really cool individuals and they’re really kind. super sweet people who are always willing to help you and take initiative LOVE THEM💕💕. wish I get to know more aquarius moons, they’re just so loveable and reliable. 🫶🫶😚
Pisces: pisces moons 50% + pisces risings 25% + pisces mercury 25%💕💕💕 — OMG pisces moons BRUU literally my babes. I love them so much. they’re always there to help. they’re really responsible people even though they like to have fun. best people to have for group projects. they’re also really good at putting themselves in other peoples shoes hence making them very good at comforting others. very good friends that would do anything for you. they tend to radiate the same energy you give them so always give your best to them for you to receive the best💪💪 for pisces risings, I just really like they’re features. they all give like a reserved energy and many people would think that they’re really high achievers and admirable people with a cute face HEHE. they’re really sweet and awkward at first but once you get to know them omg it’s a huge difference they’re little devils LOLOLOL (in a good way🤫🤫) I tend to have many pisces rising friends maybe cause their rising is in my seventh house but 😚😚 whatever. they’re little choco pies, random ik but it just fits their whole persona . pisces mercuries are really chill people who like to talk. I love them so much cause like tend to relate to one another a lot and i just love to talk to them because they’re so easy to talk to. just pull out a random topic and they would prob be able to talk about it, very versatile speakers. also, they don’t really share their opinions at times. like sometimes i want to eat something with them but their whole face writes “no that looks disgusting” so I ask them if they’re sure that they’re fine with the restaurant and they say that they’re fine but they’re not really fine LOLOLOL they’re so cute HAHAH love them. they always put others before themselves.
made by: @iireneleee
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deadbranch · 7 months
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But anyway, COD related nonsense. From a resident pro-Soap, pro-Alex person.
Random phone call from them at work. Not an actual emergency, but something so bizarre and out of left field that you genuinely need a moment to process what they view as so important to call you ASAP.
A Matter of Emergency
Author: @deadbranch Characters: Soap & Gaz & Alex Keller x miltary!GN!Reader Summary:  The unexpected could be considered an urgent matter, depending on who you ask. Word Count:  590 Warnings:  Fluff, on-base shenanigans, no real warnings. A/N:  The guys are being idiots.  Kind-hearted idiots.  You don’t mind them calling in a favor with you.
ALEX KELLER MASTERLIST
MASTERLIST (all @deadbranch fanfic content)
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A MATTER OF EMERGENCY
Your phone vibrates as a call comes in.  It’s Gaz.  He can leave you a voicemail or text you.  Either way you’ll get back to him after duty hours.
As you submit the next work order your phone vibrates again.  It’s Soap.
Dammit.
No texts or voicemails from Gaz.  You’ll catch up with them later.  They probably heard some gossip and can’t wait to share.  Or maybe they’ve finally been given a deployment date.  Goody.  After hours, lads.
Your phone chimes once.  Text message from Gaz.
{Alex is here.}
Your heart thumps hard.  Alex.  You haven’t seen him in almost a year.  Long distance relationships don’t generally work out, so you didn’t make the attempt.  But you’ve thought about him frequently.  You wonder if he’s thought about you.
Another chime alerts you to another text, this time from Soap.
{EMERGENCY}
{CALL NOW PLZ}
“Bollocks,” you mutter under your breath as you hit the phone icon for Soap.
The line connects, but Soap doesn’t address you immediately.  Some kind of commotion in the background, Gaz’s voice, Alex, and something or someone else…
“What, Soap?  What’s wrong?”
“Oh…uh…nuthin’ just that…Alex brought a dog.”
You wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t.  “Good for him?  What’s the emergency?”
“The dog’s famished.  No dog food.”
“Go to the commissary then.”
“If we buy dog food at tha commissary, Meredith’ll tell Price what we’ve gotten up to.”
“And?”
“So we can’t keep tha dog if we’re found out.”
“Soap…”  You rub your eye as you fight another yawn.  It’s already been a long day.
“Hold on.  I’ve got someone here who wants ta speak ta ya.”  You hear muffled sounds on his end.
“Soap, if you put the dog on the line, I swear I’ll tell Price myself.”
“Hey.”
You haven’t heard that voice in a long time.  You almost don’t recognize it.  Alex Keller.  Time slows down as you turn away from your computer after giving a cursory glance around the room.  No one’s paying attention, most are wearing headphones as they work.
“Hey.  Did you really smuggle a dog on base?”
“Yeah.  She’s so cute though.  Pretty eyes, sweet disposition.  Reminds me of someone I know.”
You roll your eyes, but you can’t help yourself.  “Great.  Are you really comparing me to a dog?”
“Only the best humans can be compared to a dog.  They’re better than people, you know.”
“If this is your way of convincing me to help you, it’s a weak attempt.”  You try to keep your voice steady.  In truth, his American accent is sexier than you remember but you’ve gotta keep yourself together.  Don’t cave in too easily.
Alex is silent for a moment.  He clears his throat.
“I’ll make it up to you.  Promise.  But please help us first? Actually, you’re helping Pattie.”
“Pattie?”
Gaz pipes up in the background.  “Patricia.  The dog.  We call her Pattie for short.”
You take a deep breath.  “I’m off duty in an hour.  Can Pattie hold on until dinner?”
Alex takes you off speaker and the background noises seem to fade.  He’s walking away from Soap, Gaz, and Patricia.
“Take your time, babe.  I’ve missed you.”
Your heart lurches again.  “I’ve missed you too, Alex.”
“See you around 18:00?”
“Yeah.  See you then.”
As the call disconnects, you glance at the system clock in the lower right corner of your monitor.
You pick up your desk phone handset and dial your CO. You normally never leave early, but today you have a matter of emergency to handle.
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@smoggyfogbottom @argella1300 @jynxmirage @glitterypirateduck @captainpriceslover @random-thot-generator @sofasoap @tapioca-marzipan @chocolatestrawberry-poptart @homicidal-slvt @writeforfandoms @tiredmetalenthusiast @gogh-with-the-flow @vide0-nasties @lollycotton @clownfishenthusiast @macravishedbymactavish @kiki-is-hyperfixating @rileyslibrarian @luciferstempest @mirthlxss @athronebelow @brewed-pangolin @miyabilicious @quincessimus @luminousbeings-crudematter @oleworldblues @shadesofreyes @crunchlite @cathnoneofyourbusiness @nightingale-ghost-writer @a-mad-dog-killer
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bkatlips · 5 months
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Ranking and explaining my rankings of Mike Flanagan’s shows and how they make me feel in honor of spooky season and just finishing Usher!! Why not!! Everyone else is doing it!! I’m also going to give it a gay score based on how gay they are (which also includes how big of a role gay characters played).
Disclaimer: Every one of these shows is well-made in one way or another and deserves to be watched based on whether someone else finds the premise interesting and not whether I liked the show. Too often I see “that show was bad to me therefore you shouldn’t watch it” and I disagree with that line of thinking.
1. The Haunting of Bly Manor-I can already hear people screaming “Hill House is better!” In some ways, yes! In some very important ways, however, I disagree. The biggest being Bly Manor emotionally resonated with me a lot more. The themes, the found family (as someone who is an only child), and of course, the lesbianism. Dani’s story of compulsory heterosexuality may be one of if not the best in media and her love story with Jamie ended up being one of the best media has to offer, too. And really using a horror story and turning it into a love story is kind of brilliant (and annoying for the people who were just there for the jumpscares I guess). Don’t get me wrong the show has flaws (why the FUCK do Peter and Rebecca have so much screentime? was that eight episode really the best placement?) but the stuff that lands, really really lands. I’m still thinking about Dani and Jamie 3 years later. Hannah’s episode was very well done. The kid actors little Amelie and Ben were phenomenal. Upon rewatch you notice most decisions and dialogue in the show were made with some purpose and it usually relates to something thematic. Some people may say it doesn’t really have one defining central thesis therefore making it messy, but to me the fact it has many themes actually makes it more fun to think about. Gay score: 100000/10
2. The Haunting of Hill House-A horror classic that got me into Flanagan! This is Flanagan’s best series as far as making you pee your pants. That hat man is just scary! The character work is nice. Those first 6 episodes are incredible. Perfect. The thing that brings it under Bly Manor for me is honestly the ending. It left something to be desired for me. I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is, but it just did not conclude in such an emotionally resonant way as Bly Manor to me. Shout out to the Newton Bros because the music on this damn show (and Bly too but that’s basically Hill House music continued) is so so good. Also the character work is masterful because Shirley Crain is kind of a bitch but you do come to love her. In fact, there wasn’t a Crain I didn’t feel for. They’re deeply fucked up, sympathetic people. It’s a great show with some great thematic work but it just doesn’t speak to me quite as much as Bly, that’s it. I know that’s unpopular but it is what it is. A great good show nonetheless. Gay score: 8/10
3. The Fall of the House of Usher-This show is wild and honestly I couldn’t decide between ranking this one or Midnight Club third. I went with this one because the acting and technical stuff was so phenomenal. I’m not really into gore horror so this wasn’t like my thing on the surface but I do appreciate what a homage to Poe it is in the very limited knowledge of Poe’s work that I have. It was fun to see all the cast from previous shows back again especially T’nia. One of the downsides to this show is it doesn’t really make you feel a lot and so compared to the Haunting shows for me that makes it inferior for sure. But it’s a fun watch and honestly I need to rewatch the final episode because I had a hard time paying attention for that one. Gay score: really fucking queer/10
4. The Midnight Club-Ah Flanagan’s little dud. This one is really not very loved compared to the others, seems to be just about nobody’s favorite, however personally I liked it. I think people are a little unfair to it and while it may not be Flanagan’s best, I don’t think it’s awful. It doesn’t really tackle anything new when it comes to themes. There’s some death, grief, stages of acceptance, and cult stuff. I think the way it has these kids telling stories to deal with their reality was really brilliant in a way. There was one episode (six I think) that dealt with depression and suicide that made me sob and I thought was super well done. That one stuck with me.I think it would have benefited from a more likeable main character and also from the second season that was planned! Gay score: 6/10
5. Midnight Mass-To be honest, I probably could have gone without watching this show. It just didn’t really resonate with me and didn’t really entertain me save like the very last two episodes. It’s technically well-made and I appreciate what Flanagan was trying to do and convey with the danger of cults and religion. It was obviously a very personal project and was him working through his own experiences but it wasn’t for me. It had a few too many monologues and I don’t think monologues make an interesting character piece. However, it’s a critically acclaimed work so I recommend anyone who wants to check out Flanagan’s work still check it out! Especially if you like weird vampire stuff I guess. Also the acting especially from the priest was phenomenal. So there’s definitely pros to this show, but it didn’t add anything to my life for me! Gay score: 3/10 :/
Also, shout out to Mike because every single one of these shows is queer to one degree or another. He loves the gays! Ally! Bisexual wife probably helps too!
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ghost-the-writer · 2 months
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Well well well a lot of you seemed spiked about my last post so here we go an explanation of why Huskerdust works.
I wanna start by saying I was reading some comments and I saw a take on how the show made Alastor husk’s abuser only to have him be able to relate to Angel.
While I get that interpretation I wouldn’t flat out say that Alastor is abusive towards either husk nor nifty. He has controls over their souls/lives yes but he only exercises that control when he needs too, he doesn’t do so out of pleasure of control (which is what Valentino does to Angel).
As for Husk being a victim of Al, I do agree that it seemingly came out of nowhere (though it would make sense as to while he’s at the hotel, we learn that he’s being forced by Al to stay rather than staying on his own accord.) It was revealed early on that Husk was an overlord but that wasn’t from the pilot, and since I am strictly sticking to content that the show/pilot provided I won’t go into it.
When it comes to the core of what makes Huskerdust work, I would have to argue for power dynamics.
The thing about Radiodust that turns most people off is the unbalanced power dynamic. Alastor is a powerful overlord, Angel, while being more than capable of handling himself, wouldn’t be able to defend himself against Al. Essentially it would remind people of his dynamic with Valentino, thought Alastor clearly wouldn’t take advantage of Angel in the same way.
This is where Huskerdust works better, they’re on more even playing field. Especially because of the fact that both are controlled by overlords, which brings me to episode 4.
Husk is able to relate to Angel because he also made a deal (well lost a deal) for his soul, and is controlled by someone way more powerful than himself that he knows he can’t escape from. Husk isn’t relating to the way that Angel is abused, more so the way that he’s being controlled.
Which brings me to my next point the fact that Huskerdust feels forced. In the argument against Radiodust it doesn’t make sense cause Raidodust just feels as forced.
But in the argument of Huskerdust alone let’s look at episode 4.
The episode is so packed because not only does it really expand Angel’s story and abuse, but Husk actually gets a personality.
We learn why Angel acts the way he does, the reason he’s so sexual is because he gets abused in that way (it’s common for SA victims to hyper-sexualize themselves). And he’s drug addicted in effort to destroy himself so that Val might leave him.
We learn that Husk is the person everyone “bitches” to in his words. He knows everyone’s issues, and based on how he interacts with Angel we can guess that instead of offering solutions Husk is more the type to comfort someone by understanding their situation.
But it’s really all service level still, we have greater understanding of who both of them are as people.
I’m interested to see how Husker and Angel get developed further as the show goes on.
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