#they talk about weight and food really unhealthily | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wearethewinx · 10 months

Note

I'm ngl between all the winx, I always thought Aisha would be like... more lean than muscled. It's been a while since I've actively watched winx, but her body being more built for flexibility just felt right to me- maybe because she's essentially the fairy of water??? Go with the flow, curve it all around kinda vibe you know.

.......now if anyone in the Winx is buff, it would be Flora and Bloom- Flora because I have seen gardeners and farmers in my lifetime, and their biceps were enough to make me go hoowee mama and Bloom because she hates exercise but she wants to punch her enemies in the face hard enough to permanently damage their nose (Icy).

Musa... idk, she can go either way tbh- buff, stick, lean? She's just vibing. I can't ever imagine Tecna being buff, because... well. On the other hand, her being buff doesn't feel too off to me either. Also Stella has been stuck on the idea of being attractive for years, she'll either be unhealthily thin or happily fat to me- it's the uh. ED projection.

Also ik you were pointing out the obv racism w the fandoms treatment of Aisha, making her the more buff and aggressive girl out of the winx (when uhm. I'm ngl she is Not, pls let's not forget s1-3 Bloom who had no understanding of chill, and Stella who is usually in control of herself but would beat a mf after enough transgressions), but I just wanted to give a brief thought into my own personal thoughts on which of the winx would be buff.

Agreed! I definitely see Aisha as fit but lean, very beach bunny-esque

Tbh I don't really see any of the winx being 'buff,' although I do think Bloom being pretty strong makes sense. She just has strong vibes. A couple people have mentioned buff Flora to me, but I think where I differ is that I see Flora as like... a botanist, y'know? Not a farmer/landscaper. That said, I think life on Linphea would probably still be pretty physically active, so she's not unfit either

Musa I can absolutely only imagine as a stick with boobs. I like to imagine her gaining a bit of weight as she gets healthier and gets used to having better access to food, but I genuinely find it hard to picture because she just. Has stick vibes for some reason

I have unpopular opinions on Tecna. Being from an icy planet, it makes NO sense for her to be skinny, and I hc her being into martial arts (Tecna loves punching and smashing, talk to the wall), so I draw her body very similar to mine- someone who retains both muscle and fat readily, so she's very dense and thickly built despite eating and working out fairly little

I think I've talked about this before, but for me an absolutely non-negotiable, fundamental aspect of Stella's character is that her self-esteem is genuine. That she really does love how she looks, that it's the only thing she's not insecure about. It's a HUGE part of what makes her so unique and interesting, so having her worry about her weight? Having her vanity be portrayed as self-destructive instead of self-loving? It's uh. Not my cup of tea

Happily fat Stella is the enlightened man's headcanon (despite the fact that I personally draw her as thin lol)

Thanks for the ask!!

#winx #winx club #lost planet au

35 notes · View notes

byte-the-bullet · 29 days

Text

Paper stars in our fake sky

Page 1

Love is a confusing thing for people like her, she’s never felt it before, she feels it for others. It was more like she was the perfect girlfriend, sitting next to her beloved in class, putting snacks and notes in her love’s locker, making sure her beloved would be home on time every day… This is just how it is for Vivi, a tall young woman with silky black and silver streaked hair that trails to her thighs-two gorgeous fangs in her mouth, slightly yellowing teeth and heavy eye bags, her unusually pale skin and slim build, not to mention her unnaturally gorgeous voice and bitten down nails-her rather large chest that always got in the way and the lack of body hair that she for some reason dislikes-overall, she’s beautiful-but Vivi never really thought to show it, she just never liked other people in general-preferring to stay home or in her college dorm, avoiding everyone but her dad-who’d occasionally call or climb through the window to visit her. Well, until she fell in love-that was. With who? Another girl, freshly 18 and Vivi’s exact type-flat chested and small, with a full face and body-this girl, Chloe, was who Vivi had fallen for. And by all means everything has been going well, Vivi sleeps next to her every night, occasionally taking pictures of her going through her day, bringing her food and whatever else she could possibly want, and becoming her best friend-this year, she’d even managed to become Chloe’s new roommate; now having an excuse to cook her breakfast every morning and dote on her without seeming creepy… Even now, as Vivi’s murky gray eyes met Chloe’s soft blue ones, even as Vivi ran her hands through Chloe’s hazel and rust colored short hair, even as Chloe squirmed and complained about Vivi trimming her bangs…

“It’s fine, Vivi- Seriously…” Chloe squeaked, only to have Vivi reply with a sweet tone-“It’s not fine, besides-I’m almost done…” And a few snips later, Vivi had finished. “Okay… You did do a really good job…” Chloe remarked, looking at herself in a handheld mirror. “No, you’re just naturally beautiful.” Vivi shot back, sweeping up the excess hair into her hand, then into a small bag which she quietly pocketed. “No? If anything, you’re the pretty one-I weigh like-“ Vivi cut Chloe’s remark off with a quick-“Your weight makes you cute, and it’s not like you’re overweight, you’re barely 200.” Chloe sighs, “But still, you’re 120, why can’t I be like you?” And Vivi shot back a quick-“Because I’m unhealthily underweight.” Chloe huffed, and sat on her bed. “Stupid.” She said, being her usual bratty self. “I know, I know…” Vivi assured her, staring at Chloe then going to the kitchen to start on dinner. It’s not like Vivi had it in her to insult Chloe, hell-Vivi would drop down and die instead of insulting Chloe-so whenever Chloe called her stupid or any other word, Vivi couldn’t help but find it cute. And now here she is, ever so casually doing everything for Chloe-cooking her every meal, doing her laundry, cleaning up after her, going through her phone and making sure she’s talking to the right people… Even this very second, Vivi grinds up some selected seasonings, vitamins, and dried florals to mix into the dish-and once it’s done, Vivi even went through the trouble of grinding up some medication to help Chloe get to sleep-then slipping it into her food; just to make sure Chloe’s insomnia doesn’t keep her up too long. “Chloe, here…” Vivi hands her the dish, and Chloe immediately took to eating it-mushroom risotto with beef, one of Vivi’s personal favorites. “Thanks, your cooking skills are amazing…” Chloe said this after eating about half the bowl of food, obviously getting sleepy. “I’m sure someone could do better.” Vivi looked away, smiling as Chloe began to move slower and slower. “Vivi, thank you…” And with that, Vivi took Chloe’s empty bowl and began cleaning it-meanwhile Chloe quickly climbed into bed and began trying to sleep. It’s not like Vivi could stop herself, the moment Chloe was asleep she started going around cleaning everything in the house-but every time Chloe turned over in the bed, or so much as breathed wrong-Vivi would immediately rush to her side to make sure she wasn’t having a bad dream, and soothe Chloe’s sleeping mind.

#bytethebullet #wlw #story #writing #WIP

2 notes · View notes

futurebird · 8 months

Text

Eating Disorders and Definitions

An Eating Disorder is a mental illness that has a life-altering negative impact on your ability to eat in a way that keeps your body healthy. Disordered eating can result in unhealthily low *or* high weights-- but how much you weigh isn't what determines if your eating is "disordered" -- what's key is how you think about food and eating and how you see your body. Eating disorders aren't glamorous and generally really suck. Getting an eating disorder isn't a short cut to being skinny.

What is an "unhealthy weight?" Most people will point to BMI as a way to determine what weights are healthy for a given height, but BMI is just a very general guideline and should not be treated in a rigid way. It's possible to be over a BMI of say 21 and still underweight for your body. It's possible to be a world class athlete and "overweight" on the BMI chart. Instead of focusing on BMI focus on if your weight is inhibiting your ability to physically do the things that matter to you in life. How much physical activity do you need to feel alert during the day and sleep well at night? Are you always exhausted and drained? Maybe you need more or less food. And, of course, talk to your doctor about these things. Thoughts such as "I want to be skinny so badly that I don't care if I have a mental disorder" *are* classic eating disorder thinking. It's the most ED thing ever to say. You should not want to have any kind of mental disorder if you can help it-- it's totally possible to brainwash yourself into an ED but it's not an effective way to loose weight and you could just as easily gain weight (through binges) or most likely stay the same as you are now --the only difference? Now you are miserable! Thing is, I don't think that most people with EDs end up like that because they just wanted to look skinny for the first day of school then got carried away and "ended up" with an ED. It would be nice if that were true since we could simply show everyone the facts and talk all ya'll out of doing this. But, I know it's not really that simple. EDs are physical manifestations of unreasonable and toxic pressures placed on young people (most often young women) -- sometimes from family, friends, coaches, etc. These pressures aren't always about weight, it could just be pressure to get good grades, or to be a perfectly kind and loving person without any emotional flaws. EDs can come from the feeling that the world is trying to stuff you into a box and you just don't fit. I saw a post the other day from some kid talking about "I don't think I deserve to post about EDs because I'm too fat" that's some meta-level ED thinking right there. But, this kid thought she didn't "qualify" as "disordered" since when you have "ED brain" weight is the filter for all things in life. And you are always being measured and falling short. I know this will be impossible for anyone with an ED to believe but in reality how much you weigh isn't that important to other people and has a limited impact on your life. You are fixated on it so it feels like it has this huge impact, but that just isn't really how it works. And maybe at some level you might know this? I've found that most (but sadly not all) people with EDs don't really hate fat people. If you do hate fat people you should work on the prejudice it's -- ugly. But what's more typical is a kind of massive double standard. Your fat friend can be lovable and beautiful and fat, but if *you* are fat then you suck. Spend some time considering how little sense that makes. Do you want to be a jerk who judges people by the most superficial of qualities? A conformist who just buys in to whatever advertisements and the most shallow men claim matters? Why is it fair to treat your friends and family with respect, to love them no matter what size they might be --but this can't apply to you? No you can only be loved if you weigh the right amount. Why do you get your own set of extra nasty rules?

5 notes · View notes

honeysuckle-venom · 2 years

Text

Today after therapy my dad and I went to the local health food store for some groceries I can only find there. As we were looking and talking near one of the store workers he interrupted and said, "Excuse me, but is one or both of you a vegan or vegetarian?" I said I was a vegetarian, and he said "I could tell because you have so much energy! It's because you don't have dead animals weighing you down!" I was polite and whatever and we moved on but the interaction really irked me on a number of levels.

First of all, that's absurd. Dead animals don't weight people down, eating meat is fine, and honestly possibly if I ate meat it would mean my anemia would be better and I would have more energy. Also, the reason I had "so much energy" was because I was in an incredibly anxious, nearly manic state inspired by my health anxiety/anxiety about my upcoming doctor's appointment. An appointment which will in part be looking for the cause of my chronic fatigue! I was jabbering a mile a minute about food because I was freaking out and unhealthily coping via food obsession, not because I'm some paragon of health and virtue for being a vegetarian. In fact, that "energy" was directly connected to my eating disorder and other mental and physical illnesses. So like, fuck you dude.

#text post #my post #it was also kind of funny #but mostly just annoying #and directly connected to what i was talking about last night #the good news is my favorite cookies were on sale #and also now i'm home and showered and have groceries and can be a lump #bc i expended a LOT of energy today and now i am exhausted

14 notes · View notes

faeriescorpio · 2 years

Note

13, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, and 20

13. what’s your comfort food?

anything artifical and orange. mac n cheese. orange gatorade. anything artifical orange flavored. caramels. or maybe homemade tacos? omg yeaaasss.... the only way i eat avocados is my own guacamole recipe with lots of garlic powder PLUS you can buy these boxes of taco shells that are those cheese doritos flavor... mmm yeaaassss... with some black beans and the grated cheese and you put them ground beef at the bottom, then the cheese so it melts on the hot meat then tomato then lettuce then guac because the weight of the guac flattens the lettuce so it takes less space... mmmmm you can put the beans wherever but i recommend with the ground beef... warm proteins at the bottom of the taco shell,,,, my family used to own a taco restaurant chain in Virginia called Tippy's tacos and at Tippy's there was this queso with a secret recipe except the queso place stopped making queso and/or were shut down but like. the secret queso recipe... when they shut down we took all the queso mix from the restaurant and our family was like mad fighting over the queso mix because its godly unngngg like i think there was a genuine physical fight but who knows because the guy who owned the restaurant all the kids my age joke hes a murderer and also my family is crazy but talking about my insane family and they shit theyve pulled would be like. a whole nother story. but shout out to my grandma for stealing a cop car when she was 8 and then later marrying a cop. surprisingly the cop is the nicer of the two

14. favorite feel-good show?

Community if its a TV show, I already listed my movies, and to be honest I'm more of a movie person but I think Ive rewatched every Community episode over 3 times. It used to be Malcolm in the Middle but they took that off Netflix like 4 years ago and I'm still mad about that. Also they took BBC Sherlock off Netflix and I was MAD about that. Because I guess Season 1 of BBC Sherlock was also my thing. I have a DVD disk of BBC sherlock season 1. a dvd. im so sorry. i really love S1E3.

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

I love your art, it's very friend shaped. I am glad we are mutuals. I enjoy seeing you on my dash :)

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

ooh. okay. so at home I have LED lights because I love my blackout curtains and also my desk is beneath my bed, its a loft bed thing except the legs of my loft bed are too long so its like markiplier in college and my face is inches from the ceiling. but in college I have fairy lights because the dorm room light is harsh and evil and my two lamps only provide so much light so I have fairy lights too. must I choose?

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

oh yes yes yes. I still have my lovey (the stuffed animal that you never let go of as a child and definitely chewed on at some point and now it looks like the soul is sucked out of it) except my great grandmother is into sewing so it doesnt look too bad. It gets washed and restuffed and taken care of so it looks worn but good. ive also been like buying WAY too many fruits from Jellycat (look up the website, tumblr has talked about it before but they never drop the name and its like. childrens stuffed animals but also adults stuffed animals.) I have like over 50 webkinz according to my account-WHICH I TOTALLY DONT LOOK AT AHAHAHAHAHAH i mean not NOW that webkinz wants you to have an app plus apparently you need to buy a webkinz each year to keep your account add free which is like woah what- I mean I have a drawer of stuffed animals. it's not bursting at the seams or anything haha : )

19. most important thing in your life?

guy who did my adhd assessment implied that I'm unhealthily codependent on my best friend. but to be fair when i was in middle school I had a reoccurring dream every night for 3 years that she was going to get robbed at gunpoint and I would use myself as a human shield and get shot instead and bleed out in her arms and because it was nearly every night for 3 years I thought it was actually going to happen like a premonition and all it did was cement the idea in my head that she's everything to me. as soon as I accepted my future death the dreams stopped so I guess its not going to happen? but according to the dreams it should happen some time in the next 4? years because the dream said it would happen when im in college. but its fine im fine

20. what do you want most in the world right now?

my best friend- /j um. im not really sure. i dont have anything i ask for for my birthday because im pretty content. I mean sure, the worries of money and also how terribly lonely I am in college because I havent made many new friends in college and also im touchstarved and also my depression aint great and if i could get my adhd meds. but actually i feel pretty content when it comes to needing objects. a tan trenchcoat tho, oh, oh ive been searching for one for 6 years at every goodwill and target i could find. how the FUCK can i not get my hands on a tan trenchcoat in 6 years???? i need to buy online i swear theres a conspiracy against me, i have 3 black trenchcoats, THREE! actually i lost one in color guard but still!! and also a green petticoat that passes as a trenchcoat, but tan?? TAN??? ooh no i cant have that :( ujjuuuuuhghghhnnnnhnn okay replace everything i said before I want a tan trenchcoat and like. a working real iron man suit. also a legal name change to Samuel James Jellison which is neither my legal first, middle, or last name and also apparently like two dudes ever have had this name and theyre both dead so theres no point in looking this name up UNTIL i change my name. But I could be Sammy Jim Jellison, omg,,,

#i do talk about james jellison on my fairyreblogs but a quick recap.#he bought me my lovey. he's my great grandfather.#he died on my 7th birthday.#before he died i used to live with him. actually he died like 2 years after i moved out.#im pretty sure he taught me how to read.#also jim was notoriously grumpy and rude to everything except for his wife his youngest daughter and me so im special <3333 #also grandpa cop i love him. he holds so much guilt about whatever he did as an undercover cop that he has never spoken about it #like for years. it has been years. and he wont say a word #also he and gramma are 9/11 first responders because gramma is a transphobic nurse and grandpa is literally like omg <33 #you could pour soup in his lap and hed apologize to YOU.#anyway any of you go looking for a Jim Jellison who died November 14th and I may bite you in a nonaffectionate way #its been over a decade and my greatgrandmother STILL hasnt changed her voicemail from 'Jim and Joan'. because its HIS voice.#literally you could hit me with a truck and i'd be fine with it and you could drown my sibling and id be mad but fine with it #but invoke fuckign JIM JELLISON and i will go insane. like thats the only father figure i have who i LIKED. back off #is my dream name literally just my great grandpa with Sammy slapped in front? yes but its more than that.#i lived in their house raised by them i deserve to have the Jellison last name #also Samuel James sounds so cool. also Joan is my last name so if im making a switch I think taking the hubbys name will be okay #middle name. middle name is joan. god imagine if my last name was joan. actually i kinda wish my last name sucks.

3 notes · View notes

runveganwankerrun · 1 year

Text

Sun 13th Nov '22

I debated not running when I woke this morning. I'd the alarm and my mind set, yet I still waivered initially. I woke before the alarm though and as I sat on the loo, I just pulled on my big girl pants, literally and figuratively, and stopped thinking about the fact that I feel fat and hate being seen out on the roads at the minute. When I'm more svelt, I quite like people I know to see me, but not so right now.

No excuces though. It was before 9am, so the roads weren't busy. I only had to do a few k if I fancied it, no pressure. I picked a pair of shorts and a tee shirt that I didn't feel too fat in, stuck on

and went out the door. I'm pretty fucking chuffed that I made myself go. It meant that I was sitting down to a coffee and food, showered and smug, before 10am.

The run. The run was no fucking fun. I still hate nearly every fucking step when I'm alone. I still question my ability to run further and even more, my desire to get better. I've paid for Manchester, but I wonder how much of a waste of money it is. I have a few weeks left before I really need to tell TGG. A few weeks to build base fitness and stick to a basic programme before looking into flights and a hotel. I wonder what TGG will say. He's supportive of all I do. If I tell him I'm determined, he'll definitely be in my corner. He'll also be fully behind me playing it close to my chest. I don't think I'll say to anyone till a lot closer to the time, when I'll tell the other chaps from club who are entered. There are four blokes now. I will book us a hotel independent of them though, so we're not cramping their style. Till then, if anyone notices my mileage increase, I'll just let them think I'm considering the Belfast marathon, as loads of the club will do it. There's already talk of relay teams, as well as individual entries. It will be a believable story.

I had my instruction from earlier in the week to remind Coach today if I wanted a training plan, so I PMed him and told him briefly about my running this week. I apologised in advance for all the times I will complain in the future that I hate running and am shit at it and said I was grateful for any help he could give. He gave me the first week's plan, said it was twenty-three weeks to Manchester, so the first few weeks were to give me something to build from before "the fun starts." Doesn't that sound good? Not! :-) But it felt good to have something solid to aim for this week, despite the fear of failure. If I keep things in perspective, the fear fades. Bite size pieces, that's the way to think of marathon training. Take this week for instance. Five runs, all at easy, or "easy peasy" pace. No speed work yet, just km in the bank and time on my feet. My longest session is four miles easy, later in the week. I already plan to do that with Sonic on Friday morning.

I can't deny, I'm feeling positive. I had another good food day, another weekend day when I did not eat shit in front ot the telly. TGG and I had a light dander to ASDA, the long way,

did not buy sweets (grapes instead) and I made a savoury bulgar wheat risotto type thing for dinner. Breakfast had been leftover stew from the other day. Lovely and protieny after a run. I had some of yesterday's soup for lunch, then the bulgar wheat for tea. I am delighted with myself.

I do not know what my weight will be like in the morning for the Monday morning weigh in, but if it's not as good as I'd like, it won't be for want of trying and any possible unfavouable result will be because I'm surfing the crimson tide as of last night and not because I ate unhealthily.

150g bulgar wheat

200g chopped onion

100g broad beans

100g frozen sweetcorn

garlic salt

onion salt

garlic granuales

onion granuales

nutritional yeast

Put bulgar wheat and onions in a sauce pan with enough boiling water to cover them, bring to the boil, then bring down to simmer gently. The bulgar wheat will take approx fifteen minutes to cook, but will likely take longer in this case because we add the frozen veg immediately after. Add about half a teaspoon of the garlic and onion granuales and salts. Start with less of the salts, but I think once you add more water to keep the bulgar wheat moist, it will need the salt for flavour. Add enough water that the bulgar doesn't boil dry, but doesn't go too sloppy. Once tender and the broad beans and sweetcorn are cooked, add about three tablespoons of nutritional yeast. This makes it lovely and cheesy. This is two potions, at about 550 cals each. Delish! It's proper stodgey, stick to your ribs, Winter fare. Obviously I ate both portions.

#running #whole food plant based #weight loss #marathon #recipes

1 note · View note

shinydixon · 1 year

Note

Joseph said in an interview he lost 10kg TEN KILOGRAMS to play Eddie. He's an actor, he's not getting around at a heavy weight for his size. He takes care of himself and is a good, healthy weight for his height. So that means when he went on his black coffee diet and as he put it was "absolutely miserable about it" that he lost 10 fucking KG from what was probably his optimum bodyweight. How fucking dare people see him as Eddie and then as himself and have the fucking gall to say he's put on an unhealthy amount of weight. Eddie was unhealthily skinny and Joseph purposefully played him that way because he's an intelligent person that understands that 1. At 28 he won't fucking look 20 (so he did something about it) 2. He understands the character and the fact that not only is Eddie a lanky dude that will more than likely grow into his frame/healthy weight around his mid 20s. But he's fucking poor too and probably doesn't eat as much as he should. Even if he is eating lots it's probably nothing of real nutritional value because good food is expensive af.

Honestly these assholes need to be thankful they even have Joseph. Not even gonna comment on the teeth thing because Jesus fucking Christ. They can SHUT UP.

For real!

People don't understand the weight of their words.

As i already said, only by reading this interview where he talked about losing weight to play Eddie and feeling miserable should be enough for them to shut up.

I don't know about Joe, but there are people out there that won't take comments about their weight easily, that will have an impact on their mental health and how they see their bodies.

They really should think twice before posting

0 notes

mangekyuou · 2 years

Note

Happy belated New Years! Hope you're healthy and happy and enjoyed your holidays love! Again, I just love the way you write for Nagato damn okay so can I please request Nagato with a female s/o who's suffering from anorexia? Like she isn't unhealthily thin, she actually just looks like a petite girl but her eating habits is terrible, she only drinks water and sometimes eat fruit but her ed is getting worse since she compare herself to other girls. Please and thank you in advance.

STeP OnE+ / ☻

☻ / pairing . . . uzumaki nagato x fem!reader.

☻ / type of love . . . romantic. comfort.

☻ / synopsis . . . nagato couldn’t even begin to imagine how ( y/n ) had felt about her body, but he would be there ready to listen if and when she wanted to talk about it.

☻ / content warnings . . . mentions of eating disorders, anorexia nervosa behavioral symptoms. not proofread.

☻ / commentary . . . i personally do not suffer from anorexia, i tried to do some reading to help with this one. i hope i did not portray incorrectly or made light of it. i hope this is okay. also happy belated new years to you too !! time is really flying.

He noticed. He had noticed from the very beginning.

He watched her as they spent time with their friends. Their hangouts had mostly revolved around some kind of food. Kisame and Hidan, always somehow getting into some kind of eating competition. She had only drunk water, sometimes taking a few small bites of a fruit she bought herself, only to be lectured by the silver-haired glutton, telling her she should eat “real food”.

Even when a plate of food was sat in front of her, made with care from Konan, she did not wish to eat. To show her gratitude, she forced down a few small bites before offering the rest to the others to fight over while she mulled over the effect those few bites could have on her figure.

He watched at how she spent hours at a time staring at herself in the mirror, noticing how her expressions differed. Posing in front of the mirror in various clothes before ultimately deciding on baggy clothes.

Nagato watched her ( e/c ) eyes often gaze in envy at women who passed her by, making note of their figure to him, saying those words he hated more than anything. “I wish I looked like her”

Nothing had broken his heart more when she had tried her body from him.

He knew something was wrong. How could she not see herself the way he saw her? Beautiful, inside and out. Perfect just the way she was. He was just unsure of how to approach her about it. Many people wouldn’t know how to approach it.

Having someone you love suffer from anorexia was heartbreaking.

Nagato couldn’t even begin to understand how she felt. He knew his words had only carried so much weight. He knew his actions had only meant so much. It didn’t matter how much he loved her and proved it. If she did not take that first step in the direction of recovery, it all meant nothing.

But he had to say something. He couldn’t let her feel the way she felt anymore. If things kept going the way they had been, her disorder could worsen and could be life-threatening. He didn’t want to lose her, more important he didn’t want her to lose herself.

His extreme worry had landed him in his difficult position of trying to get through to her. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, he didn’t even have all the right words to say. But he had to try his best, he didn’t want to see her struggle anymore.

“I’m always here to support you, no matter what. You know that.”

“Are you saying I have a problem?”

There it went. The hurt in her voice. The betrayed expression on her face tears beginning to well in the corners of her eyes. Her fists gripped onto the fabric of her pants, looking away from him. She couldn’t look at him, he saw right through her.

“What I am saying is that there is an obstacle in your path that is hard to get over. And I am scared because that obstacle is hurting you, both on the inside and outside,” He tried to explain.

Nagato placed his hand over her own, making her look back up to him, “I’m not telling you to make that decision right now. I understand it may take time. I am here to listen to anything you have to say.”

Her lip quivered. She knew his words were sincere, they always were.

“I’m not ready to talk about it,” ( y/n ) admitted, half expecting him to push further. But he didn’t, rather planting a gentle peck to the side of her head, “And that’s okay. Whenever you are ready, I’m here. Or if you aren’t comfortable talking about it with me, then we can find someone for you to talk to, because I love you.”

She let her head rest on his shoulder as a brief silence washed over them. Nagato wrapped an arm around her shoulder. He rubbed soothing circles into her arm.

“I love you too, Nagato.”

26 notes · View notes

desultory-suggestions · 2 years

Note

Hi! Weird q maybe. Basically I have ocd and for a while a while back i had this compulsion to throw up out of fear of getting sick from smth I ate or not being healthy basically. I stopped but i still get the urge and eating « unhealthy » makes me anxious and I also have started having nervousness around the idea of gaining weight. I haven’t done anything but sometimes I want to skip a meal etc. I’ve controlled the urge for years often by eating something healthy after something unhealthy/drinking lots of water. The thing is no one told me I had an eating disorder. All my therapists latched onto the ocd thing but i suspect this has to be an eating disorder ?? I don’t know what to call it and I’ve basically accepted that I’m going to have these feelings forever and just have to not act on it. Ig Im asking if that’s correct and if that could be an eating disorder ?

Hello, dear! Not weird at all. So when it comes to disordered eating, it is really important to understand that it exists on a spectrum. We tend to talk about EDs and DE like it's always about intentionally losing weight. While many people's EDs revolve around an obsession with weight loss, many don't! Eating disorders can be completely unrelated to weight or body image. People can develop eating disorders from sensory issues, severe dietary restrictions, and intrusive thoughts.

It is common in people with OCD to develop an eating disorder out of a fear of getting sick/being poisoned and then having it progress into something else. It definitely sounds to me like you have an eating disorder characterized by a fear of food and eating unhealthily. While your OCD may have been the catalyst there's comorbidity there.

I would seek an opinion from a nutritionist/dietician or be very clear with your GP that you are concerned you have developed an eating disorder. You definitely do not have to feel this way forever! You can get help, therapy, and recover to a point where you can eat happily.

Much love!

-Evan

#asks #anon #ocd #eating disorders #comorbidity #comorbid conditions

12 notes · View notes

magicalshitposts · 3 years

Text

Now that it's canon and I've talked it through with @redshift-corridor I think I'm gonna share my Robbie's eating problem headcanon.

Big big big TW for eating disorders (in detail), throwing up, passing out, being unhealthily thin and having near death experience

Smaller TW for drug and alcohol use

All of this will be under the cut!

Robbie Canonically having a problem with food kinda got me back into the HC that I made a good while ago. Because it was such a small HC that I was thought was very unlikely in the long term, I didn't put much thought into it.

I have now put some thought into it

After doing research into Eating Disorders, there is one by the name of ARFID, which stands for ‘Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder’. It’s pretty much an umbrella term for a lot of unspecified EDs so has a lot of signs (not all of them will apply to the person). The traits I took note of were

Missing meals completely, especially when busy with something else.

Finding it difficult to recognise when hungry.

Feeling full after only a few mouthfuls and struggling to eat more.

Taking a long time over mealtimes/finding eating a ‘chore’.

Weight loss

This was definitely what I associated with Robbie.

This is a headcanon for a different post but It’s vital to know mental health is not taken seriously in my version Hyrule, It’s not taken at all. There are no therapists, no doctors, nothing.

It starts in his early childhood. He was never much on an eater as a kid, only getting through a bit of breakfast and lunch before saying he wasn't hungry for dinner. That was more or less fine though. He had a few snacks throughout the day and was a small boy anyway, his parents never really caught on.

It was moving out that became a problem. Now he didn’t have his parents to remind him to eat, he didn’t. He would have a meal here and there but it was a smaller amount than a grown man needed. His body adjusted to it, his stomach shrinking in size to regulate the lack of food. Then he meets Purah and it all goes down hill. There is a thing, that while isn’t a symptom of ARFID, I do associate with Robbie. He doesn’t like to eat around others. It takes him a long time to be able to feel comfortable enough to do that. Him and Purah move in together straight away, and he does end up getting comfortable, but straight after they are thrown into a war, which is where the big problem starts.

Onto the bulk of it.

No one at work really notices that this is an issue because no one knows him all to well, they all just assume he doesn’t have Lunch. Purah obviously knows and she already concerned. Not a huge amount but enough to give him gentle reminders to eat, his answer to that is ‘thanks doll, but I ain’t too hungry’.

Another HC that is kind of important is my Robbie both drinks alcohol and smokes herb religiously. If he’s not working he’s drunk or high or still working. He has a very high alcohol tolerance, so it takes him a lot to get drunk, but because he’s drinking on an empty stomach, the alcohol comes back up after every couple of drinks. And with smoking, Herb (here's some info on herb) makes you really hungry which is great! He’s eating! Then Purah realises its the only time he’s eating, which is a bit of an issue.

This is when he starts to pass out and throw up. He passes out from hunger every couple of days but recovers from in really quick. He’s back up in an hour. It becomes so frequent however that employees (that aren’t Purah) just move him to the closest wall and carry on working. He throws up literally every time he eats when he’s sober because his body is reacting badly to the sudden intake of food.

Purah then bans him from fieldwork due to sickness. If he faints on the field, whatever he’s doing isn’t going to stop for him, and she is not letting her best friend die, especially on her hands. So he was tied to his desk. That means he’s getting very little exercise as field work was his only form of it. And due to field work he was a very built person. When that stopped, he lost muscle mass and Purah saw how bad he looked. He was gaunt in the face, his arms and legs looked like they could snap at any moment. He looked old and skinny and it was a ungodly sight.

Then the big thing happened. The final battle was taking place as they spoke which meant they had been slumped under with work. They had no time off, which meant no recreational drugs like herb, which meant no eating. Robbie hadn’t eaten for about 2 weeks. Purah thought he was doing well, every time she asked him, ‘did you eat?’, he’d lie and say yes just to get her off his back. And he had been so high of off adrenaline from work, he hadn’t passed out. From an outsider’s perspective, he was improving. Then he passed out again. Then he didn’t wake up after the hour. Many workers believed he was in a Coma, as he was clearly still alive but unresponsive. After 2 days he finally woke up, and Purah had had enough. She was ready to snap, he had lied to her face multiple times and could’ve nearly died.

She finally makes him visit Mipha (who becomes a doctor after the calamity) , who sends him to Gerudo town who harbours the only family of mental health professionals in Hyrule (who are very underground as they aren't trained). They keep him with them for a few days to start him off. He gets a food diary and is told to try and maintain a diet of two small snacks a day. Just to get his stomach used to food again. From that they plan to build up his diet. He never gets to 3 meals a day. The most he has is a morning snack (which is clearly breakfast but he refuses to call it that) and an evening meal. It takes him about 40 minutes to eat his morning snack (two slices of toast) and an hour and a half to two to eat his evening meal.

He never gets back to where he was. To as strong as he used to be. After his body gets used to food, he takes training back up. He begins to train with Impa but she's pushy and demanding and he's stubborn and weak so they butt heads a lot. Instead Impa changes places with Link, who is kind, patient and motivating. Robbie slowly starts to build up his strength (and in turn back up his battle skills). His body is still thin but he's getting better, and the steps count, no matter how big they are

I know that was incredibly dark but a lot of the best headcanons are in my opinion. I made sure to do my research on the topic but if I got anything wrong please correct me!

28 notes · View notes

thetravelerwrites · 3 years

Text

Monster Match 33: Futakuchi-Onna

The Traveler's Masterlist

For @artless-whimsy : “I'm a bi cis lady, she/her. During non-pandemic times, coffee shops are my natural habitat. I'm quite small and get cold easily, but love sweater weather. My passions include cat/kitten rescue, reading, long walks, D&D, writing, and mental health advocacy. I write and edit for fun and profit, and I crochet to help manage my anxiety. I'm shy but friendly, and my family says I talk too fast. :p

In a partner, I love wordplay and being able to talk for hours, particularly about stories, but the most important thing is kindness (whether that's something that comes easily to them or something they work hard at). I'm happy to be the talker that draws someone else out, as long as they give me something back. My love languages are quality time and physical touch, but my partner's don't have to be exactly the same.

Monsterwise, I love creatures that are pretty but deadly (or misunderstood)—think vampires, faeries, ghosts, shapeshifters, demons—but honestly? Please just have fun with it; I can't wait to see what you come up with! As for NSFW-content, I'm happy either way and would rather you write what you're inspired to! I do love kisses, and I think I'd prefer more lime than lemon, if you go that way?”

You’ve been matched with a Futakuchi-Onna!

A futakuchi-onna, or "two-mouthed woman," is a type of Japanese monster characterized by their two mouths; a normal one located on her face and a second one on the back of the head beneath the hair. The origin of a futakuchi-onna's second mouth is often linked to how little a woman eats. In many stories, the soon-to-be futakuchi-onna is a wife of a miser and rarely eats. To counteract this, a second mouth mysteriously appears on the back of the woman's head. The second mouth often mumbles spiteful and threatening things to the woman and demands food. If it is not fed, it can screech obscenely and cause the woman tremendous pain. Eventually, the woman's hair begins to move like a pair of serpents, allowing the mouth to help itself to the woman's meals. While no food passes through her normal lips, the mouth in the back of her head consumes twice what the other one would.

TW: Eating Disorder, Abuse, Mental Illness, Hospitalization

“Cute girl!”

“Shut up!”

You looked up from the counter at your favorite cafe and tried to find the source of the voices, but you only saw one woman sitting alone by the window. You could tell when you looked at her that she had been staring at you and had looked away just as your eyes met.

“Talk to her! She’ll leave!”

“Stop it!”

“Hey,” You said, walking over. “Are you okay?”

She sighed and looked up with a strained smile. She was Asian and very pretty, with long, dark hair flowing down her back, though she seemed rather thin, perhaps unhealthily so.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” She said. “I have… a… growth or something.”

“That talks?” You asked.

“Unfortunately,” She replied, turning in her seat. Her hair lifted of its own accord and sitting among the tresses was a mouth, identical to the one on her face, except with sharp teeth.

“Hallo!” It said at you.

You blinked in surprise. “Well then.”

“Yeah, sorry,” She said with a sigh. “I used to hide it, but it’s gotten so loud lately that it’s just easier to explain and wait for people to run off.”

“Well… I mean, it’s unusual, but I don’t see why people would run off in this day and age.”

“If people look human and then aren’t, it weirds people out.”

“I get that, I guess,” You said, sitting down. “So, does it have a mind of it’s own?”

“No, no, it’s just says what I’m thinking but don’t normally say out loud.”

“So you think I’m cute?”

She looked up in shock and blushed hard. “Oh… I was hoping you hadn’t heard that.”

“You’re pretty cute, too, you know,” You said, smiling. “Can I buy you a coffee?”

“Oh!” She said, a surprised, shy smile creeping across her face. “Yeah, thanks, that would be wonderful.”

Her name was Kyoko and she was a yokai, or Japanese demon. She’d apparently once been human and became a demon over time, which is something that happens pretty regularly to both humans and animals in Japan. By the end of having coffee, you’d left with her number and a promise to see each other again.

The two of you went on a few dates together, and it was about a month before you realized something: you’d never seen her eat. Not once. Maybe as a yokai, she didn’t need to eat, but you’d seen her drink coffee and tea and things, so you weren’t sure. You decided to ask her about it.

On your next date, you went to a local park to feed some ducks. The mouth on her head was chattering incoherently. It was doing that more often, you noticed

“Hey, Kyoko?” You began, throwing out some peas and corn for the ducks to peck at. “Can I ask you something kinda personal?”

“Yeah, sure,” She said, holding out a handful of oats.

“Why don’t you eat?”

“Hungry!” The voice in the back of her head said.

“Stop!” She said, smacking the mouth lightly. She took a heavy breath. “I’m a futakuchi-onna. Do you know how my kind are created?”

“No,” You replied.

“It happens after years of under-eating and malnourishment,” She said. “In stories, it’s usually a stingy, selfish husband that causes a woman’s suffering, but for me it was my mom.”

“What do you mean?”

“My mom used to make fun of me because of my weight. I wasn’t even that overweight, but she decided when I was really young that I needed to diet and start fasting. She would make me not eat for days, and then feed me broth twice a day to make me lose weight quickly. She used to say that if I wasn’t thin and pretty, no one would ever love me and that I’d never be worth anything. Around my eighteenth birthday, the mouth appeared. My mom kicked me out when she found out I was a monster.”

“You’re not a monster, Kyoko. Your mother is.” You took her hand and squeezed it. “Why has it been getting so loud recently?”

She looked away. “I haven’t been very nice to myself recently. The mouth eats at night when I’m asleep, so I don’t eat during the day because I don’t want to gain weight.”

“How long has it been since you’ve eaten anything while you were awake?”

She shrugged. “Two weeks?”

Your mouth dropped in shock. “Kyoko, that’s not good! Are you seeing anyone about this? Like a therapist? This is an illness and needs to be treated.”

“I know,” She said, ashamed. “But I don’t want anyone to judge me or…” She stopped when her hair grabbed a handful of the oats and stuffed it in the mouth. “Stop it!”

“Come on,” You said, getting up off the ground and holding out your hands. “We’re going to the hospital.”

“What?” She said. “Why the hospital?”

“You need help now,” You told her. “I’ve been concerned about you since the day we met and this just confirms my fears. I don’t think we should wait.”

“Will you stay with me?” She asked, beginning to cry.

“Of course I will,” You said, pulling her into a tight hug. Her hair wrapped around you. “I’m not going anywhere.”

The doctors discovered that Kyoko was thirty pounds underweight and immediately recommended that she enter an inpatient rehab facility. Kyoko sobbed but agreed to go. You swore you would visit her as often as they would let you.

The two of you visited at least twice a week and talked to each other on the phone every day. Despite the fact that you couldn’t be with each other while she was in treatment, you’d grown very close during that time. After sixty days, she was released. She had lost her apartment during the time she was in rehab, so you moved all her things into your apartment and asked her to stay.

You went to pick her up and take her home, and she threw herself at you, laying a big kiss on your lips. It was the first kiss the two of you had. She looked radiant.

“How are you feeling?” You asked.

“Better,” She said. “The mouth hasn’t spoken in weeks and the staff said it quit trying to sneak food days ago.”

“That’s wonderful, babe, I’m so proud of you.” You gave her another kiss and set her down, taking her hand and squeezing it. “Let’s go home.”

To get your own Monster Match, buy me a Kofi!

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider becoming a Patron or donating directly to my PayPal.

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Monster Match #Exophilia #Monster Girlfriend #Yokai #Futakuchi Onna

52 notes · View notes

this-is-quite-homoerotic · 3 years

Note

Yo! What did you think of the Expectant audio? I think it's the only TW audio that I listened to and thought mmm, that could've been so much more :( I get that it needed to have action and adventure but it kinda felt really obvious that the writer wasn't comfortable with Barrowman's dream. I think I expected better after how good so many audios like Broken have been :(

I’ll forgo spoilers in the first part for those who haven’t listened to the audio but might be interested in seeing a review, but there’ll be spoilers under the cut!

Anon, I agree with you! It definitely could have been so much better. I actually like the concept of the audio a lot, but the execution was... not to my taste, let’s say. To be fair, it really is a matter of taste, I personally didn’t like the humour, it did not mesh well with my sensibilities, though I also think it felt... outdated? I’m talking specifically about the sense of humour here.

The kind of jokes they made felt like something I might have found funny in the early 2000s when I didn’t know any better, before I examined some of the tropes/messages/expectations I’d absorbed from society and media (more about this under the cut because spoilers). The thing that bothered me the most about it was that it felt to me like the humour in it had not caught up to 2020 sensibilities, and Expectant is, first and foremost, a comedy piece. So if the humour’s failing then that’s a big problem.

Your mileage may vary, though, humour is a matter of taste after all. Interestingly, I actually think John Barrowman enjoyed the script and had fun getting to act it out? This is just the impression I got (certainly, he might have played it a bit differently if he didn’t), and I think this might be a generational thing as well as a matter of taste and sense of humour.

Spoilers below

As I said, I actually love the general concept of the audio: Jack, grieving and at a loss for what to do in the face of losing half his team, offers to carry an old alien friend’s child for them when political scheming means the unborn child might be in danger, in the hopes of ensuring the child’s safety, political stability for several planets, and (it is implied) as a symbol of hope that there’s good things in the universe too, not just loss and devastation.

There are obvious obstacles to Jack carrying a pregnancy while still being an active Torchwood agent, which is an interesting and fun thing that’s explored from the first scene: Jack has got used to being immortal and doing his job might well get him killed. Normally this isn’t a problem but if he dies while pregnant the baby can die too. But Torchwood is understaffed and still adapting to being a three-person team, so Jack has agreed to carrying the baby only if he can keep on working.

An interesting premise, vaguely tied in with a big moment from the show and the emotional fallout which wasn’t explored much in the show itself (Tosh and Owen’s deaths and how they affected Jack), some stakes from the get-go, plus a new original alien character (Jonty). So far, so good.

There are two main things that got in the way of me enjoying the audio: 1) how Jack was depicted as being hysterical during the pregnancy (and this being played for laughs), and 2) the indirect fatshaming (literally why, this was so unnecessary).

In the first case, they decided to write Jack as so emotionally unbalanced by the hormonal changes of the pregnancy that he had severe mood swings, with him breaking down crying supposedly triggered by insignificant things (like when he cries over a cupcake? Or something similar, I can’t be bothered to check). Jack having a meltdown would not be a bad thing to explore in an audio, except it felt to me as though they were using it as a joke? Like a “ha ha look how messed up he is by being pregnant, he’s so hormonal and out of control, isn’t that hilarious? Isn’t it so funny that this character is breaking down like a hormonal woman? Isn’t his pain just the funniest thing you’ve heard? :))))” (Sidenote but I also felt like John Barrowman overacted in these scenes, it didn’t sound like he was crying, it sounded like he was play-acting crying, and that didn’t help.)

The second thing was the whole fat camp-style spa subplot. While trying to get Jack to safety, Jonty takes Jack, who is heavily pregnant and showing, to a ““health spa”“ (read: weight-loss place) where Jack is put under a strict unhealthily-restrictive diet (especially given that he’s pregnant??), controlled by the overbearing spa lady (she literally takes food off his hands and watches him like a hawk to make sure he doesn’t “”overeat””), repeatedly fat-shamed, and this is all presented as a funny gag, presumably because he’s not really fat, he’s just pregnant! But people don’t know because he’s male/male-presenting, so all the micro-aggressions and abuse he’s subjected to are funny, right? Jack not being allowed to eat despite being hungry and heavily-pregnant is totally something to laugh at, surely (/s).

Disclaimer: this is not actually portrayed as though the fat-shaming is righteous and just behaviour, it’s sort of implied that the “”health-nuts”“ running the place were obsessive and weird, but that doesn’t change the fact that the whole subplot could have been something else entirely? Like, they obviously thought this was funny. Also, I won’t get into specifics but I am personally sensitive to these issues, so I can definitely see how some people might not be turned off by this at all; as I said, your mileage may vary and this is my own take on it.

So, these are my main issues with the audio. I don’t think the writer was uncomfortable with the concept as you say, Anon; I’d actually argue the opposite. It’s just that their take on it and their sense of humour were maybe not very in-tune with modern sensibilities (or with mine, at least) and the story suffered for it.

They took a look at the idea (a male/male-presenting character being pregnant) and came up with the worst tired comedy tropes for it: mood swings (and the resulting distress) played up for laughs, an emphasis on how big the character got being made fun of/criticised with an incomprehensible fatshaming subplot, they even threw in a reference that Jack’s previous pregnancy (mentioned in his first line in ep 1 of Torchwood) was a student prank (because men being pregnant is funny, I guess). Okay, that last one is a bit unfair, I just didn’t like it. They could have made Jack’s first pregnancy something meaningful (him carrying a friend’s child as a surrogate out of love for that friend, him carrying his own child born out of a relationship, etc.) but instead they made it into a cheap one-liner joke, and yeah it does fit into the tone of the audio, but that’s the problem: I did not like the overall tone of it.

There were some scenes with Ianto that were nice, and a couple of Owen and Tosh mentions that I enjoyed, and it’s interesting that you mention the action and adventure in your ask because I actually didn’t mind those aspects at all? The action was fine with me, it was the non-action parts mostly that bothered me (the emotional tone and sense of humour like I said).

This is probably more thoughts that you wanted but I was quite disappointed with this one (and I was so looking forward to canon mpreg), so I thought I’d take the opportunity to explain why. I do acknowledge that it was a matter of my own sense of humour and sensibilities not meshing well with the writer’s (I just checked and to my shock the writer is a woman; I would have put money on them being a cis man).

This one missed the mark with me. Badly.

#Torchwood #Expectant (Torchwood)#Big Finish releases #meta #asks #my ramblings

38 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #452

“what i’ve felt, what i’ve known, never shined doing what i’ve shown / never free, never me, so i dub thee unforgiven”

Are you a part of the LGBTQ+ community? I am. Do you have Tiktok? Are you addicted? I don't. Do you enjoy being outside? IF it's cool outside, yes. Do you like being around kids? No, not really. Have you ever gotten Covid-19? No. What's your ethnicity? Caucasian. If you were president, what's the first change you would make? I'd probably put in place free healthcare first. What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed? If an animal shouldn't be a pet, there's a reason. So none. What was your favorite meal as as kid? Has it changed now? It was spaghetti. I still love it, but it's not my favorite now. Which doctor is your least favorite? Primary, eye, dentist, gynecologist, etc. Potential TMI answer follows. So, the VERY easy answer is gynecologist. Like, I've never even BEEN to one because I'm too scared. Not because I think they'll find anything wrong, but because I'm just very self-conscious about stuff like that and I do fucking not want some random stranger laying a goddamn finger on me like that. My doctor is really pushing me to go by now though as a safety precaution, but I just really, really don't want to. Do you feel that you'd be any good at solving a murder? No. I'm so clueless. You own a dragon, but it doesn't breathe fire; what comes out instead? Water, I guess? That could be beneficial in a lot of ways. Have you ever been sprayed by a giant rain puddle when a car passed by? No. Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? Yeah, IT with Girt. What color is your iPod? Hot pink. Do you think baby clothes are adorable? Ha ha yeah, I just tend to like miniature things in general, and babies are just... miniature humans lmao. Whose house did you last sleep over at? Sara's. If you could adopt 3 unique pets, what would you get? A plains hognose morph (probably a lavender, or snow?), a Brazilian black tarantula, andddd... an African fat-tailed gecko morph. What grade are you in, if you’re still in school? I'm not in school. Do you get a lot of tourists in the area where you live? Hell no, there's not shit here. Do you enjoy watching vlogs? Only occasionally by certain people I like. What was the last new video game you were excited about? It really sucks I don't have the appropriate console to play it myself, but I was SUPER stoked for Resident Evil 8: Village to be released and literally watched like four different playthroughs at the same time, ha ha. Have you ever talked about your period with a guy? Were they okay with it, or grossed out? In a three-and-a-half years intimate relationship, it obviously came up before. He didn't care, because he wasn't 12. Have you ever been to small church/bible group/study? Forced to or wanted to? I was forced to go to Sunday school, as well as church. Have you ever been to an Asian (any type) market? If so, what is the closest one to you? I've never seen one here, even. How would you feel if your significant other had tattoos? That'd be a bonus to how physically attracted I was to them, probably, lol. I just love tattoos. Where was the last place on your body that you felt physical pain? My uterus is screaming. :') What are you listening to right now? I am fucking unhealthily obsessed with Violet Orlandi & Skar's cover of "The Unforgiven" by Metallica lkasdjkflawjerwr like I will not stop listening to it lol. Last person you texted? My mom. Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy? Yes. Is there a certain person that makes you feel safe? My mom. Have you ever used a chainsaw? Nooo, and I don't want to. Do you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa? crihmuh Ever been so stunned, no words came out? Oh yes. Ever written that you were going to end your life? I have. I was fucking stupid and made a suicide note on Facebook. I genuinely wanted everyone on there to know what they meant to me, so like it seriously wasn't for attention, which I still worry people think that. Ever put fake bugs around your house to scare someone? Not to scare people, no. I have two faux tarantulas in my room as decor, though. Is there a reason you have the name you do? Not particularly. My parents just liked it, ig. Choose: the best song by Green Day? Aw, that's way too hard! I love Green Day. I guess if I absolutely had to pick, maybe "21 Guns." It's just a truly beautiful song. Have you ever tried to “save”, or “fix” someone, before? No. I don't believe that works and only damages you. Were ethics discovered or invented? That's a good question. I really can't say I know. Do you put effort into getting tan during the summer? Nah. Are you a fairly self-motivated person? NO. I need external motivation pretty badly. Be honest, does the person you like actually deserve you? Or are they actually not worthy of your affections? I don't deserve him. List 5 things that have been on your mind most recently. 1.) wtf I feel about Girt and wtf to do about it; 2.) my weight; 3.) what job I'm going to search for once I make progress at the gym; 4.) whether or not to quit photography and focus my efforts elsewhere; and 5.), as always, Jason. What is better, history or science? Science is way more interesting. Do you flinch at the sight of blood? No. Do you enjoy swimming? Yeah. When you swear, is it usually in general or directed at someone? In general. I don't generally swear at people. Are any of your friends hoping to be famous one day? Yeah; I've got a couple of musician friends. Who would you kiss right now if you could kiss anyone? GO AWAY Ever slapped a guy in the face? No. I don't hit people. Do you think you’re a good friend? I sure try to be. Have you ever thrown your cell phone in anger? When? I have on only one occasion when I Jason and I were texting and he pissed me off. I don't remember what we were even talking about now. My phone was fine btw, ha ha, I didn't like, chuck it. What color of hair do you find the sexiest on the opposite gender? Out of the natural hair colors, black. But I really like hair that's dyed exotic colors on like... anyone. Have you slept over at a member of the opposite sex’s house in their bed? Yeah. When you lost your virginity, were you sober? Yeah. Have you ever given your phone number to somebody you met online? Quite a few people, actually. Most of my friendships are online. On average, how much does gas cost where you live? When I was out today, it was $2.99. Why are you happy? Who said I was? I'm not happy. What is in your pocket? Nothing. What was the worst feeling you last felt? Severe indecision. Worthlessness. Yesterday had some grim periods. What would you name your future son? I always answer with the first name, "Damien," so let's see about a middle name... uhhhh... maybe Damien James? I'm not really sure about a middle name, but that sounds nice. What are you waiting for? Girt to message me back. He barely touches Facebook, so I can't blame him, but I wanna plan a day for him to visit and we can hang and I can decide what the fuck it is I feel towards him. What takes your breath away? Big waterfalls, to name a major one. What fact of life would you rather not know about? That the world doesn't give a fuck about you. It sounds super pessimistic, I know, but it doesn't. There is no sentience to it, no will to keep you safe and happy, it just... exists, and we're thrown onto it to figure it out. Unfair things happen. That's life. ... Damn, this answer was dark lol. What’re a few things that automatically make you go, “Awww?” Meerkat pups doing so much as blinking, guys being really cute with kids, seeing elderly couples holding hands and just generally being precious, proposals (especially gay ones just because of how hard that was fought for), seeing literally any picture in existence of Mark and Amy together, veterans coming home and their dogs freaking out... Man, a lot of things. This question brightened my mood to think about. :') Are you easily scared by horror movies? Nah. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Illinois to visit Sara. :') I really wanna hang. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? No, but a former best friend had her bday a day before mine. Are you wearing a ring? I always wear two. Do you hate to hug people? No, I love hugs. How many rooms does your house consist of? Seven. If you could be on any TV show, which would it be and why? Can I be a Pokemon trainer, pls???? What would you want to be famous for? Most ideally, a great wildlife photographer. The kind photography students would see and be inspired by. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No, I sleep with a real animal, ha ha. What is your favorite brand of hairspray? I don’t have one. What is in your backyard? Not very much... I'm barely ever even out there, so I barely know. There's one shed, a small tree, and uh... idk. Who is/was your favorite teacher? I have a few. Mrs. Whitley, Mr. Proctor, Coach Collie, and Miss Tobey are some. What’s your favorite non-sexual thing to do with a girl/boy? Play video games together. Do you cheer for the bad guy? Ha, I have a tendency to do that... Would you rather start a new career or a new relationship? Career. I want one so very badly. Something on the human body that grossest you out the most: So even though I am sexually attracted to any gender, nevertheless, genitalia gross me the fuck out. Either kind. Penises especially though like what the fuck- Do you think it’s easier to raise a boy a girl? Why? From most parents, I've heard boys are much easier because girls (supposedly) tend to have more of an attitude. What is your favorite strawberry flavored food? Strawberry is generally my favorite flavor for like, everything, so this is just about impossible. Maybe uhhh slushies? What is the oldest video game system you’ve played? An Atari.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''the unforgiven'' by metallica

2 notes · View notes

aching-tummies · 3 years

Note

Have you ever dealt with food-restriction or ED or whatever?

I really debated answering this one. I understand that it's a sensitive topic for a lot of people, and I do go into some personal details with my struggles, so I'm going to put most of that under a cut.

I know a lot of blogs have something like "we do not stan ED in this house" and that's the extent of their address on the topic and some get pretty angry if anyone even mentions ED around them. I get it, it's a triggering topic and it can be unhealthy and maybe hearing about it or seeing it or whatever pushes someone (back) into bad habits. I understand all that. In my opinion though, shutting down the topic is problematic. I believe that destigmatization saves lives--and not just for ED. Making it a dirty little secret and something one feels ashamed of talking about or struggling with creates more problems. It doesn't go away just because someone feels they cannot talk about it. I'm on the side of destigmatization--where "how are you" is an actual question rather than a casual greeting where "good" or "great" are the only acceptable answers. No--it's supposed to be a question and we shouldn't have to feel ashamed when we are going through crap. Maybe neither party has time to get into it then and there and maybe the other party isn't comfortable/or the right person to go to with those particular issues...but "how are you" is supposed to be a genuine question, not a greeting.

Short answer to whether or not I've dealt with food-restriction or ED: yes.

I don't want to invite drama onto my blog with this...but I think it's time I said something on the topic. For one, I'm sick of how people go "we don't stan ana on this blog--GTFO" and leave the discussion at that. I don't think that is healthy. People that actually struggle with EDs and Ana maybe want to get help...but professional/formal help is not always accessible and not necessarily always the right tool for what they are going through in that moment. I understand that EDs are unhealthy and I am not trying to glorify them...but I want to say that I care about the people struggling with the stuff and I admire their resilience. There's enough shaming going on around the world and I'm not going to dish it out to someone struggling with an ED. I'm not going to make it out to be something that's taboo to talk about like it's some dirty little secret. I want to de-stigmatize it. I want a world where someone can be like, "I struggle with food/eating and I had a setback last night" and those of us listening can be like, "Alright. Is there something you need/want me to do with that information? How can I help?" Currently, I see a lot of, "Shh! That's a triggering topic! Do you want to set off all the other ED suffer-ers in here?! Don't talk about that noise!" even in my IRL friend groups and I think it's just sad. These are the same friends that are constantly reblogging, "It's okay to not be okay" and “I’m a safe person to tell stuff to” stuff but clearly they don't believe that.

The way I see it, living with EDs is like living with a pet alligator. It was once small and cute and early on maybe you made one choice: you chose to keep it. Great...well, now it's grown and it's a problem and you don't know what to do with a full-grown alligator that eyes you like you're it's next meal. Who do you talk to when everyone shuts you down and maybe there isn't an "animal control" number you can reach out to because it's expensive or it doesn't exist in your area or they're so over-booked that you'll be alligator-chum before they get to you? That's how I see ED. It's terrifying but it's still 'your' pet alligator, even if you feel more like it's pet human at times.

Onto the personal aspects.

I've never been officially diagnosed with an ED and I don't believe I've ever done something that's extremely dangerous on this front. That being said I have (and sometimes still do) struggle with intrusive thoughts about my body.

I'm "average" sized...maybe on the bigger side of average in North America...however, there's a different standard in Asian culture. Like the "Asian F". I was always told I was supposed to be smaller. I was supposed to be no more than 5'3, no more than 110lbs, have a bust no bigger than 34C, and be able to fit into anything marketed to teens and up. Yeah...I'm none of that.

I'm going to try not to rant and get angry and upset...so here goes, take 7 on trying to answer this.

I grew up surrounded by judgmental adults. I eat and I'm fat; I refuse to eat or eat less and I'm exhibiting worrisome behavior. My take away: I bring dishonour on my cow no matter what I do. Sure, there are those that'll be like, "they'll judge me whether I eat or not so I may as well eat some good food"...yeah...that's not me. Choosing to skip the meal and the company entirely is the only way I feel/felt like I 'win'...but as a child that wasn't an option.

I mostly ate alone in University, but my brain filled in for the silence of judgmental comments. If I ate my whole lunch in one sitting I'd get upset with myself. I'd pack smaller portions and I'd be aware they were smaller, but I'd still be upset with myself for finishing it...or even finishing it and still being hungry. If I caved and bought a sugary drink or a snack or something because it looked good, I'd scold myself for using up the food budget as well as the calories budget. I used to break apart individual cookies--one cookie would take 3-4 sittings/days for me to allow myself to finish because I'd only allow myself two fractured pieces at a time. Some days, i.e. weekends, I'd intentionally skip a meal or two and rationalize that I was simply indulging in kink and that I'd eat later. I always did end up eating later and going about my life as normal. "Fasting once in a while is supposed to be healthy", I'd tell myself...but I won't deny that there was some part of me that would tell me that every skipped meal and calorie ignored was gradually working toward shrinking my body.

Despite how it sounds, I wasn't actually doing noticable damage to my body. Physically, I was within the realm of healthy...maybe on the bigger side of average and definitely not mentally sound...but my body was fine. My body didn't change--I didn't gain or lose weight. I ate...I just felt bad about it and beat myself up about it. In retrospect, it was a heck of a lot of mental anguish I did to myself with nothing to show for it.

Life after University is pretty stressful. Stress doesn't agree with my tummy so I got (and still get) frequent upset stomachs. I've become pretty conscious of eating and how my stomach feels so I end up being careful to eat less so that there is less to upset my tummy. I do it because an upset stomach is inconvenient...but I do enjoy the fact that it seems I have lost a little weight. Losing weight isn't a big part of my rational though. My coworkers have mentioned that I look thinner. I don’t see much of a change when I look in the mirror...but my belt does up two notches tighter without too much fuss so I guess I have slimmed down just a smidge. I didn't intend to lose weight, I just cut down on eating because I didn't want to deal with so many upset stomachs...I think I'm allowed to enjoy the unintentional weight loss without it being a problem...but if I had a problem then I guess what I think about this situation doesn't count for much.

I wish I was thinner--just enough to fit into acceptable sizes in the women's section. Enough to not feel like "the big one" when among my friends. I don't idealize the extremes of weight-loss...like...I don't want to be able to count my ribs or have my joints be wider around than my biceps or whatever. And I don't feel like I'm obsessed with losing weight/being thinner. It's something I want...but I also want a burrito and a can of Cola. I tend to partake more than I deny myself nowadays...just in smaller portions. I’ll still get mad at myself for indulging...but I do indulge and try to lessen the mental kicking by splitting things between two meals or something. I still break apart my cookies and eat them over the course of a couple of days...but most of that is because I run out of time to enjoy the treat or because I want to ration it so that I don't have to spend money to buy another one every single time. I don't try to count calories and all that. I still see eating less as a good thing...but I'll still eat a decent portion...I won't pick at my food rather than eat it.

My opinion here, but I don't think I'm unhealthily obsessing over weight and body issues and stuff. They're a part of my life but I don't think they do enough to be super problematic at this stage in my life.

And now onto the tie-in with the content on this blog. I've answered quite a few asks about how I feel about 'stuffing' and the thing that rhymes with "Geight Wain" with "for reasons I don't want to share, I'm not comfortable with that stuff". Most of the reasons I was thinking of for those asks is covered in the personal stuff above. I'm not comfortable with stuffing and the big "double-u gee" because for all of my life I've felt or internalized some judgements about body size and weight. It's very upsetting for me. It's also why I hate a lot of the degradation talk and things mentioning chub or fat or rolls or whatever--because it brings be back to being a kid sitting amongst judgmental adults feeling ashamed of how much of the universe’s matter I took up. If other people like those tags they're free to do so...I just don't want that sort of thing shoved into my face or imposed onto me because it makes me feel bad and makes me remember bad times. I’m into tum-kink and stuff and would love to indulge IRL with an actual partner someday...but I don’t think I will ever be comfortable with putting on weight or even RPing something like that. The thought of getting bigger terrifies me and it’s not something I want encouragement for personally. You do you if that’s what you’re into...just leave me out of it.

5 notes · View notes

girloikawa · 3 years

Text

so i was on twitter, doing my twitter things, when i saw this article

the only reason i clicked on it was because of the words “looks like a model” being in the same sentence as “so thin now” and i needed to make sure they weren’t imply that there aren’t plus size models. well, to no surprise, the article was the shittiest, most fatphobic thing ever. so let’s take a look at that

the whole thing is a slide show of previously fat celebrities and their current state after losing weight. first one is kim kardashian and, guess what....they’re shaming her for something completely natural! she birthed life, you dipshits, have some respect.

aretha franklin. “and we mean REALLY big.” 1) there is nothing wrong with being fat, fat is not a dirty word. 2) do you know how fucking stupid it is to put this on the internet forever? being fatphobic in private or even saying fatphobic stuff is terrible, but you’re not really going to get in trouble for it. but, as a company, you could at least have some integrity, or pretend to. (note: they have 1.3k followers and get this...they’re a travel company?)

honestly, scrolling through them, i saw that they were harsher on the men. maybe they took it as not wanting to be disrespectful to women (idk how though) or they just think it’s more socially acceptable to shame men for their bodies than women, but let me tell you, it is not. i don’t like chris pratt as a person, but you will not imply that men are uglier for having some weight, no matter who it is. the disrespect

“disappointed many fans by gaining tons of weight” im sorry...disappointed who? oh you mean the people who value human worth based on how much stomach fat they have? don’t want em anyways! and the fact that they refer to gaining weight as a “mistake” is appalling. so she ate food, why does that matter? celebrities don’t have to be skinny to be celebrities, nobody has to be skinny to have value. why is this such an issue?

the list is implying that you need to be slim (and in some cases unhealthily slim) to look good, and that gaining weight is in any way bad. it is not. sometimes, gaining weight can be a healthy and beautiful thing. taylor swift talked about how she’s more confident in herself once she gained weight, for example. there is nothing wrong with not being skinny.

this one is confusing to me because she doesn’t even look like she weighs a lot. so. i guess you’re only aloud to weigh 130 pounds or less

this one’s just cruel. probably the worst one. making fun or people for eating, not like it’s one of the basic human needs, am i right? they just went striaght for fatphobia! thanks!

honey boo boo isn’t in the article. it was clickbate. honey boo boo is gorgeous by the way whether she is fat or not stupid article shut up. plus size models exist and are honestly dominating the game so

moral of the story: all bodies are beautiful, as long as you’re happy and healthy, nobody should give a shit. it’s your body. beauty standards are fucked and capitalized off of, so don’t listen to anybody who thinks being overweight is inherently a bad thing. you’re gorgeous, love, let them stay mad <3

#!!!!#tw: fatphobia #tw: fat shaming #THIS IS LIKE??? INSANE #why would you even post this shit #body shaming is so fucking normalized jesus #ok to rb #if u want #weight #weight gain #weight loss #stupid article #dumb people #body posititivity #body shaming #im positive the article isn’t #there were so many other terrible ones too btw #chris pratt

9 notes · View notes