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#they should have properly expressed & vented
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wow I don't think the term nonbinary actually fits me my good ol' pals
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t3a-tan · 8 months
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Failed Meeting - The Talk
A heart to heart.
Continuation of this!
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Oliver was pretty upset with James when the human told him what had just transpired. James apologised profusely, but he knew that didn't make it right. Oliver told him not to push it, and he did exactly that…all because he was being selfish.
Oliver left immediately after, presumably taking Sammy back to his home to calm down after James had messed up so badly.
People could be cruel, but it genuinely sickened James to think of who could do such horrible things to not just a child, but a child the size of a finger. All he did for the rest of the day was go over what he had seen and what he had heard, spiralling with thoughts of what might have happened to her.
He was starting to understand why borrowers were raised to be so scared of humans. It was a miracle that Oliver was so calm and patient with him.
Oliver didn't come back for a week, and when he did he made sure to scold James properly.
"I told you that you would meet when she was ready..! I understand that you are happy about her returning to me, and I understand you want to help, but all you've done is made her more scared..!" He began, hands on his hips. Oliver was upset at James, though he did understand the human didn't have bad intentions.
"She's been having nightmares again, nonstop, and not only is that terrifying for her to experience but it hurts me having to watch her go through that. You hurt me by deliberately ignoring my warnings. Do you understand that?" He questioned, letting the hurt seep into his tone to drive home how severe James's actions were.
James kept his head lowered in shame, averting his gaze. He felt awful about it. He knew that if Oliver had gone behind his back and tried to meet his daughter before James was ready he would've been upset too…
"Is…is she okay..?" He asked, unsure if that was pushing it or not. Oliver stopped his rant, hands lowering to his sides. It was hard to stay mad at him— Oliver wasn't someone who held grudges easily, and he really cared about their friendship.
As much as he wanted to continue to vent his frustrations, doing so wouldn't help. He could see by the way James was sitting and how his voice was so meek that the human understood he had made a mistake.
"Other than nightmares, yes. They've been calming down now, which is why I was able to come here and speak with you." He explained, returning to a calmer disposition since yelling wasn't very productive.
James nodded slowly.
"I don't want to be scary. I fucking hate it, Oliver— I-I don't think I'm a bad human, but you're the only borrower who can even tolerate me apparently, and it's just… I don't know. I'm letting you down…" James spoke with an air of sadness and frustration, bouncing his knee anxiously.
Oliver bristled a little at those words. He hadn't really thought about James's perspective in this situation. Oliver was used to being the voice of reason, and used to being trusted, not feared. He hadn't been addressing James's feelings over other borrowers, because he had been focused on trying to prevent another incident.
He supposed some blame should be shouldered by him thanks to that; his pressure to not make a mistake again may have pushed James to want to prove himself more.
"Lean closer." Oliver directed, gesturing for James to lean in. The human finally met his gaze again with confusion, but leaned in nonetheless. Oliver could tell that his eyes were slightly watery, but he didn't mention anything about it, instead walking closer. Oliver placed his hands on either side of James's face, looking into his eyes with a serious expression.
"You do not need to impress me, alright? I am your friend. I will always be your friend, because as much as other borrowers struggle to see it, I can see you are trying so very hard to do the right thing." His gaze softened. "You are a good human, and I am not friends with you because you're perfect— I'm friends with you because I enjoy your company."
Oliver tilted his head.
"You do not have to be some human ambassador for borrower-kind. You don't even have to be an example… I like being your friend because you are funny and intelligent and caring— even though I may struggle to pick up on your humour." He offered a reassuring smile. "I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to be frightened."
James blinked, wondering how on Earth Oliver had picked up on all that from what he had said. He felt denial on the tip of his tongue— he wasn't scared, he was scary. Oliver had it wrong, clearly…
His eyes stung but he wouldn't allow himself to show any weakness.
"Okay." He responded, feeling embarrassed to have his feelings so expertly picked apart. He leaned a little closer, moving his hands to surround Oliver as he ducked his head down, closing his eyes, leaning into the borrower's touch. His words were slightly muffled thanks to his head being down. "Thank you, mate…"
Oliver gently patted James's forehead, thankful that his words had gotten through as intended.
He was determined to make this work.
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queenofcoquette · 9 months
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emotional regulation
introduction:
i think a big problem we all go through is not knowing how to properly regulate how we’re feeling. in the world we see this when customers raise their voices and yell at people doing their job, relationships that have meaningless screaming matches that lead to nothing good. overall, just people losing their temper and making their bad feelings someone elses problem.
this has definitely been a huge problem of mine. being rude to my family because i was just so sad i had no patience and was snarky. manically posting on this account as a way of getting ‘help.’ i still have a lot of work to do, but i’ve made it a big focus of mine to always be calm.
reflection
reminder. it’s okay to be upset about something- but it’s not okay to direct that towards someone who has nothing to do with it. for example, it’s okay to be stressed out from life, but it’s not okay to direct that into anger towards some random person.
reflect. when you have a quiet moment take time to think about how your thoughts/actions affect you and the people around you. don’t beat yourself up over it, just be aware and then work to improve this.
self awareness. the first step is self awareness. you kinda just need a point where you think “this is a problem” this self awareness runs deeper- when you get upset you need to be aware of your thoughts, how you want to react.
habits to introduce:
healthy venting. keeping a vent journal literally changed my life without a doubt. when i get super emotional and irrational i write down all these thoughts instead of saying them and hurting people. if i’m angry then i write about it, if i’m sad or insecure, it goes right in my journal. it’s a release and it feels good to put your thoughts out in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone.
healthy habits. practice mindful breathing, meditation, positive affirmations, journalling- something that helps you! stay consistent with your routines and continue to practice mindfulness. be self aware.
practicing patience. this goes hand in hand with self awareness. when you’re feeling your emotions building up take deep breaths and try to rationalize. it’ll take work at first, but in time it’ll become your natural response.
in conversations/real life:
deep breaths! it’s easy to be impatient but when you’re feeling that way just keep breathing and remind yourself to stay calm. it takes some work but this is effective.
avoid interrupting. when you’re talking to someone i know it’s easy to want to interrupt and prove them wrong, but even though it’s painful you need to give people time to speak, even if they’re being rude.
think before you say, phrase yourself carefully. in heated arguments it’s easy to express yourself incorrectly, so it’s important to think over your words and be cautious
what if it doesn’t work?
if you try all that and it doesn’t seem to work then it probably means something else. it could mean that you have a mental illness which can’t be solved with journalling or things like that. it’s important to seek the care that you need. these tips can’t solve mental illness, but paired with proper treatment it can make a big difference. if you’ve been staying consistent to the things i listed above for a while and they’re not working then i think it’d be best to talk to a doctor. 
conclusion
all in all, emotional regulation can be difficult- but it’s so important in our lives. ideally it should be taught to little kids, but if its not then we all need to work on it. always self-reflect on yourself and your behavior. understand the affects that your actions have on you and yourself. we got this :)
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everybodyshusband · 9 months
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this is technically a request fill for a couple of anons but turned into what's basically a vent fic, so i didn't feel comfortable wasting your requests on it. to those anons, your requests will be filled properly at some point, i promise.
cw for self-hatred, and desires of self-harm and suicidal thoughts while regressed. please also be aware that there is one line where rain considers killing an animal because he's so angry. this work is not suitable for regressed kiddos or littles.
but ! without further ado, 2.2k words of rain trying to hide his regression from dew and having a breakdown about it under the cut.
“Rain?”
The water ghoul looks up from his bass at the sound of Dewdrop’s voice, carefully schooling his expression into something typical of how he acts when he isn’t regressed; when he’s normal, his brain unhelpfully supplies. He clears his throat, giving himself a little more time to prepare himself for the conversation ahead. “Hey, sundew. What’s up?”
The words come out easier than he expected them to, but it still feels so wrong. He’s not supposed to talk like that, he’s not supposed to direct the conversation. He’s supposed to crawl into Dewdrop’s arms and let himself be held and loved, but he can’t. Can’t, because he has so much to do today. Has so many assigned duties on top of everything else he’s wanted to get done all week. He can’t focus on any of it if he’s regressed, so if he pretends to be fine—to be normal—then maybe he’ll be able to do what he needs to.
He’s jolted out of his head by Dewdrop’s voice. “Want a practice partner? I– I’m kinda struggling with some of the solos…”
The hesitation in the fire ghoul’s tone immediately sets Rain on edge. Dewdrop needs comforting, he thinks, but that’s not something the water ghoul is able to do when he’s regressed; not well, at least. Still, Rain tries. He smiles what he hopes is a regular, reassuring smile and reaches an arm out, ushering Dewdrop to sit down next to him. The gestures come to him easily. It’s a relief, but he can’t help the small voice in the back of his mind telling him the reason he’s able to pretend to be normal is because he pretends to be regressed.
(Which isn’t true. He knows it’s not. It’s proven by night curled up in Swiss’ arms, unable to murmur even a single word because he’s just too small to do anything else. By all the times he hasn’t been able to function without someone holding his hand, guiding him through the day. Alas, it’s never been something he can stop thinking. That he’s a fraud; so desperate for the attention of his packmates that he’s resorted to lying, deceiving them, in order to gain a shred of affection, a kind word here and there.)
The fire ghoul grins happily and sets himself up quickly, eyeing the music on Rain’s stand to gauge where he should flip to in his own music. “Rats, eh?”
“Mhmm, wa– Rats.” He turns away from Dewdrop, cheeks burning as he clears his throat and attempts to brush the slip off as something catching in his throat. “Good bassline. Hard when you haven’t played it in months, though.”
Dewdrop hums in agreement. “Mmm, I can imagine.” He fidgets with the tuning pegs, tilting his head in Rain’s direction, silently asking for a note to match. Rain obliges. “D’you wanna start from the start, or…?”
“Start’s fine,” Rain smiles. He knows the start best, he’ll be able to do it, he’s sure. He can ignore the brain fog. He can pretend. For Dewdrop, he can pretend. The fire ghoul seemed insecure and burdened enough when he asked to run through the solos. He doesn’t need Rain’s regressed headspace making anything more difficult for him. “Uhm…” he begins, unsure; failing already. “B– Backing track?” He stutters on the B and the K is over pronounced in compensation of his difficulty with the letter, but Dewdrop understands—and more importantly, he doesn’t seem to notice.
“I think we’ll be fine, right, Rainy?” He turns to smile at the water ghoul, eyes so soft and gentle, but there’s something underneath his tone that makes Rain fumble his bass.
“W– Why are you calling me ‘Rainy’ like that? You only say it like that when I’m… small.”
Dewdrop’s smile falters slightly, but his eyes remain warm. Kind. “Well, you can tell me if I’m wrong, but I thought you might’ve been feeling a bit small, love. Am I right?”
Rain readjusts his bass on his hip, refusing to meet Dewdrop’s eyes. “N– No… I– I feel fine,” he lies. “Normal. ‘M good. Promise.” He knows Dewdrop doesn’t believe him, but he can’t help but hope that maybe he’s convinced the fire ghoul. After all, Dewdrop has things to do today as well. He can’t blow off a whole day just to help Rain. Rain can’t ask him to do that.
“Are you sure, puddle? You’re not just telling me that because you feel bad about being small?”
“...Oh. Uhm… N– No?” Rain does his best to sound convincing but he knows there’s no persuading Dewdrop now, not when he already knows.
Dewdrop fixes him with a look, still adoring, but stern. “It’s not nice to lie, my love.”
And just like that, Rain’s facade crumbles.
His eyes fill with tears as he curls in on himself, hugging his bass tightly to his body. “I– I’m sorry, Dewy,” he cries. “I– I didn’ mean to! I’m sorry sorry, I’m really, very sorry. I didn’ mean to lie, ‘m sorry!”
He rocks back and forth, doing his best to self-soothe but it’s not working. He doesn’t know how to calm down. Doesn’t really know why his reaction to Dewdrop’s gentle chiding is a breakdown. He knows the fire ghoul was only trying to nudge him out of his pretences but he can’t help but listen to the voice in his head that whispers softly, cruelly.
He hates you for lying to him. He’s never going to talk to you again.
You got too comfortable with him. Shared too much. He doesn’t want to take care of you. He only does it to have an excuse to tell you what you’re doing wrong.
Such a burden to him. To the pack. Why can’t you just stop regressing? Just stop it. Stop being so small. Stop being so fucking weak.
He lets out a panicked yelp when Dewdrop reaches out to comfort him. “Nuh uh! Don’t touch me. I– I don’ deserve it.”
“Wh–” Dewdrop flounders.
That means it’s true; Rain doesn’t deserve it. He curls in on himself even further; he shouldn’t have said anything. Should have kept it to himself. Should have left the room the second Dewdrop entered it. Should have thought about someone other than himself and his own pathetic, useless needs for once.
“What makes you think that, Rainy?”
“Liar get punish,” he parrots as accurately as he can manage. “Only good boy get to be touch.”
“Oh, love…” Dewdrop sounds so disappointed. Rain braces himself for the inevitable. “That’s our rule for when you’re big and we, uhh…” He trails off, clearly unsure of how to phrase what he needs to say. Rain wishes he could rid the fog from his head enough to be able to reassure Dewdrop that he’s okay; it was just a slip of his mouth that made him say that, it’s not what he really thinks. But if he says that, it’s only fuelling the fire, and he’ll be punished more for lying; he’ll punish himself for lying. “Look, Rainy, love,” the fire ghoul tries again. “My point is that those rules don’t apply to you right now. They’re only there for when you’re big and we have our… Our special playtimes, yeah?” Dewdrop cringes at the words special playtimes and Rain knows exactly why; the phrase sounds so forced. He hates that Dewdrop feels the need to mince his words around Rain when he’s like this, as if the water ghoul doesn’t retain his understanding of the world and his own life when he regresses.
“You– You don’ like special playtime?” Rain’s goading Dewdrop into giving him an answer that he’ll hate, that will make him feel worse, he knows he is. But as long as the fire ghoul doesn’t notice, Rain doesn’t care. He deserves to feel bad, he knows that much. But he doesn’t feel bad enough, and it’s going to be hard to sink himself down to the level of bad that he deserves with Dewdrop watching his every move.
“No, no, Rainy,” he disagrees quickly. Too quickly, Rain thinks. “I love our special playtimes. I love them a lot, I promise. But… I don’t think this is something we should be talking about when you’re little, okay? We can talk about it when you’re big again if you want to, though.”
“O– Okay…” Rain’s heart sinks. It’s always like this. The very nature of their ghoul pack results in him being left out of most things when he’s little. Sometimes he doesn’t mind, and he’s more than content to sit with one of his packmates and fill some colouring sheets with bright pencil markings or curl up in their arms and drift off to sleep. But other times? His pack’s refusal to include him in certain activities or conversations feels less like protection and more like a poor disguise of their hatred of him, of their unwillingness to involve him in pack affairs. He understands, really, he does. He knows that when he’s regressed, there are things he shouldn’t be exposed to. Knows that when his pack are frustrated with him, he’s rarely the one at fault, just the one unlucky enough to bear the brunt of their frustration, no matter how much they try to hide it for his sake. But he also knows that the pack’s exclusion of him is because they don’t like him. Don’t enjoy his presence in any of the forms it takes. Don’t care about him enough to hide their annoyance, despite knowing their frustration directed at him can cause him to spiral so intensely that he barely remembers the rest of the day. He knows all of this, but nothing makes it hurt any less.
If he were in a better state of mind, he might reach out to Dewdrop and ask to be held for a while. Might sob and scream and cry until there aren’t any tears left but it would be okay, because he’d be safe in the fire ghoul’s arms. As it is, he can’t. He tells himself he doesn’t want to, which is true, in part. There’s a part of him desperately fighting to run away from Dewdrop, to refuse to ask for comfort, to never be a burden, never show weakness because otherwise he won’t love you anymore and you’ll be all alone all over again. The other part longs for comfort, regardless of the negative impact he knows it will have on his relationship with Dewdrop. He wants to be held, wants to be reassured that it’s okay to cry, that it’s okay because Dewdrop’s got him and he’s never letting go, never leaving. And so, he finds himself at an impasse and so angry at himself that he wants to punch something. Scream. Break his arm. Kill one of Copia’s rats. Kill himself.
The only benefit to being regressed that he can think of right now is that if he screams, no one bats an eye; all too accustomed to toddlers throwing tantrums that they don’t seem to care. And so when Dewdrop tentatively reaches an arm out, testing the waters to see whether Rain is ready for touch, the water ghoul screams. And he does it properly.
He doesn’t know how long he screams for before stopping, but once he stops, his throat is raw and aching in the silence of the room. He’s curled in on himself on the floor—bass discarded somewhere off to the side, hopefully in one piece—surrounded by pleasant warmth and pressure. Slowly, he realises that he’s wrapped up in Dewdrop’s embrace, and he begins to panic all over again, throat refusing to make another sound dispute his frantic attempts.
A warm hand cards through his hair, soft voice shushing him gently. “If you really want me to let go, Rainy, I will,” Dewdrop reassures him. “But I don’t want to let go, love. I want to help you, and I don’t want to leave you alone like this, okay?”
Rain turns his head and buries himself against Dewdrop’s chest, sobbing quietly. His emotional regulation for the day has been used up, and he knows that any and all emotions he feels for the rest of the day—or week, probably—will be on full display for everyone to see, no matter how much he wants to hide them. He finds himself nodding along to the fire ghoul’s words without his own brain’s permission. It’s impossible to deny for any longer that he wants comfort—he needs it so desperately it may as well be oxygen at this point—but he can’t bring himself to ask for it. He knows he doesn’t deserve it, and he knows that he’ll only feel worse later as a result of talking to Dewdrop and receiving his love and affections, but for now, that’s a problem for future Rain. Right now, all he really cares about is curling up in Dewdrop’s arms and soaking in the gentle comfort that the fire ghoul seems to be so good at providing him when he’s like this.
He doesn’t feel better about it, and he knows he’s not going to. To be honest, he doesn’t even want to try to feel better about it. But now that he’s here, he’ll accept the comfort of gentle caresses and chaste forehead kisses that Dewdrop seems intent on gifting to him. He’ll work on not feeling even worse about the fire ghoul’s affections another time.
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l1tw1ck · 1 year
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Drinking More Than Just Alcohol
Bottom!FTM Kaveh x Top!Masc Reader
{Request} | Uses AFAB Language
CW: Mild Dub-Con, Face Fucking, Cum Swallowing, Fingering, Orgasm Delay, Dom/Sub, Rough Sex, Praise Kink
📝 1,108 Words
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Kaveh steps into the bar with a scowl on his face, clearly already drunk off his ass. He sits on a stool next to you and orders a beer.
"Kaveh?" You look at him in surprise. You didn't see him, your student, as the type to drink so heavily.
"How do you know my name?" He asks, speech slurred. He's so drunk that he doesn't recognize you. Kaveh looks you up and down and smirks lopsidedly, you look so much older and more mature than him, he didn't realize it earlier but your age is a major turn on. "Whatever..." He takes the beer he ordered and takes a greedy sip.
"Ugh, my roommate is so annoying!" Kaveh says, exasperated. "He keeps nagging me for every single thing!"
You sigh and listen to him as he vents his hateful feelings towards his roommate and various other personal issues. You start to drown him out as his words turn to angry incomprehensible blabbers.
"You should fuck me." He says suddenly. "So I can forget about everything."
"What?" Your attention immediately goes back to him. "I'm your teacher, Kaveh."
Kaveh gives you a confused look. "You haven't taught me anything...yet." He smiles. "You can teach me how to suck you off and you can fuck me stupid in return~"
"My answer is no. I'll help you get home, okay?"
"No!" He whines. "I don't wanna go back to that asshole!" He yells loudly and disturbs the other people at the bar.
"Stop it, you have to deal with it Kaveh. Unless you have somewhere else to stay?"
Kaveh starts to whine louder and even gets told off by the bartender but he doesn't stop.
"Okay, okay, fine!" You grab his hand and drag him out of the bar. You assume that by the time you get him to yours, he'll be passed out drunk.
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Much to your dismay, he is not.
You drag him inside and sit him down on the couch. "Don't move." You order before going to the kitchen to pour him a glass of water.
When you come back, you see he's started stripping. Only his underwear is left.
"Put your clothes back on!" You turn around, not wanting to see your student naked.
Kaveh gets on his knees in front of you and smiles. "C'mon..."
You look down at him, trying your best to hold back. "Fine." You give up and unzip your pants, pulling your underwear down just enough to free your length. "Suck it."
Kaveh licks up your shaft and gets it hard, thighs rubbing together in excitement when he sees your full length. He quickly wraps his lips around your head and sucks softly before moving further along your shaft.
He almost gags but forces himself to deep throat you, through pretty wet eyelashes he looks up at you for reassurance that he's doing well.
"I'm surprised you're this much of a slut, deep throating my cock like you've done it before." You smirk, running your fingers through his hair.
Before Kaveh can deny it, you start to fuck his mouth. "You're too slow though."
Kaveh rolls his eyes back, moaning and rutting against your shoe. He never thought getting his face fucked would feel so good.
You pull his head back and forth with your hips meeting him halfway. You throw your head back in pleasure, groaning lowly. "Such a pretty little thing, you wouldn't mind if I came in your mouth, would you?" You pose it as a question but have no intention of getting an answer.
Kaveh moans, feeling his peak rising.
"Archons, I never thought I'd do this to my own student...a drunk student nonetheless." You bite your lip and slow your thrusts, pushing Kaveh's head all the way to the hilt as you release your spend into his warm mouth.
Kaveh looks up at you and shivers at your dark expression. He quickly swallows without hesitation.
You pull away and let him breathe properly.
He seems to have sobered up a little bit, his eyes widening in shock when he finally remembers who you are. "Fuck...Mr. (Surname)..?"
"You finally remember me, huh?" You laugh.
Part of him wants to stop and run home but a bigger part wants to keep going.
You bring him up and drag him to your bedroom, turning the lights on and gently throwing him onto the bed. "You're not getting cold feet are you?" You ask, pulling your shirt over your head.
Kaveh looks at your torso then back up at you and shakes his head, he quickly strips down while you do the same. You tower over him and turn him around, lifting his hips up and kneading his plump ass. "Gods you're wet." You breathe out, sliding two fingers up his aching cunt.
Kaveh whimpers. "Please.."
You push two fingers inside, marveling at the mostly easy entrance before slowly scissoring him.
"Ye- yes- fuck~" Kaveh drools into the pillow. "Like- like that-"
He's so wet that you can hear the sound of your fingers moving inside him.
"Hngh- gonna co- come~" Kaveh moans, moving his hips back and forth.
"You're so cute like this, makes me want to tease you." You pull your fingers out, stopping him from coming. You lean into his ear while slowly entering him. "You can come as many times as you want, as long as it's on my cock." You bring your hand to little cock, playing with it and bringing him to the orgasm he was previously denied.
Kaveh moans, squeezing you desperately as he comes. "Ye- yes si- sir~"
You spank him lightly. "That's a good boy." You grip his waist and start thrusting into him roughly. "You feel so fucking good, Kaveh."
His face heats up from the praise. He can barely formulate a response due to how good he feels. All he can do is moan your name.
"Fuck," You groan, pulling on his hair and forcing his head back. "Wish I did this earlier–"
He starts to cry from how good it feels, already about to have another orgasm. Kaveh babbles something about being close before arching his back and coming.
You thrust into him a few times before pulling out and turning him around. You pry his mouth open and slide your length inside, thrusting back and forth before coming inside.
He quickly swallows, a little upset that you pulled out.
"Can't risk getting you pregnant." You say, taking your cock out of his mouth.
"Mo..more, please." Kaveh looks up at you sweetly.
You spread his legs open. "I had no intention of stopping." You wink.
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celebrityxcrushes · 1 year
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JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY pt. 2
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Pairing: Lo'ak x (metkayina) f!reader
Word count: 1836
Part 1
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For the fifth time that day, you made your way towards the Sully family's sleeping pod. Entering it, you let out a soft groan of disappointment at the sight of Neteyam.
"Happy to see you too," Neteyam retorted sarcastically. From your grim expression, it was clear to him that something was bothering you, and so he beckoned for you to sit down next to him.
"What's wrong?"
You had assumed that Kiri had filled him in about what had happened the night before, but perhaps you had been mistaken.
Deciding that you should fill him in, you let out a sigh. "It's Lo'ak."
It was obvious that Lo'ak was avoiding you. No matter how many places you looked, or how many people you asked, you had no luck in locating him.
Your village, albeit beautiful, was quite small. It should not be this hard to find someone. Especially not a member of the Sully family; since they, due to their lack of knowledge about the area, preferred to stay in the most populated parts of the village.
A few minutes later, you had finished retelling everything to Neteyam. For the entirety of your rambling, he had stayed quiet - letting you vent your frustration.
"Just relax," He finally spoke up. "You'll find him eventually, and then you can both confess properly and this whole thing can be forgotten about."
His words of encouragement, however, did nothing to ease your nerves. If anything, it increased your stress levels. Unlike Neteyam, you weren't so confident about this having a positive outcome.
"That will never happen!" You sulked. "Obviously he doesn't feel the same way, and tries to spare my feelings by avoiding me instead of outright rejecting me."
"No way." He shook his head.
He knew his brother better than most; perhaps even better than all. Despite Lo'ak's attempts of keeping his feelings for a secret, Neteyam could tell. It didn't matter that Lo'ak never outright admitted the crush. It was obvious.
"Look, I have no clue why my brother is avoiding you. That part is weird," he admitted, "but trust me on this - he likes you too."
Taking a moment to think, he started absentmindedly fiddling with the beads on his necklace. Not many seconds later though, he perked up.
"He has to come home at some point to sleep, or dad will seriously beat him. If he tries to disappear again tomorrow, Kiri and I will stop him. We'll help you."
Although you weren't all so sure about his plan, you gave him a hesitant nod. "Alright, thanks."
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Early the next morning, the Sully siblings decided to launch their plan into action.
Immediately after breakfast, Lo'ak had stood up and tried to excuse himself. Neteyam, however, had been quick to interrupt his exit. "Actually, I need some help with this spear I'm making. Could you give me a hand first?"
With furrowed eyebrows, Lo'ak felt forced to agree to Neteyam's request. He didn't know why Neteyam would ask for his assistance on making a spear - as everybody knew Neteyam was the better at crafting things. But with his parents sitting right next to them, clearly expecting him to be a helpful brother, he couldn't deny.
"Uh, sure, I can try to help."
As the two brothers exited the marui together, Neteyam quickly signed for Kiri to also hurry along to get you.
Some minutes later, back in your own family's marui, your ears perked up as you heard rapid footsteps approaching.
"Y/N," Kiri shouted as she barged in.
Not even giving you the chance to reply, she grabbed your hand and started dragging you with her. "Come on, Lo'ak is finally free for you to speak with him."
You knew they meant well, both her and Neteyam, but you couldn't help but to feel like they overwhelmed you a bit. "Just slow down. Please."
With a roll of her eyes, she slowed down a little. "Do you want to talk things through with my brother or not?"
It really was more of a rhetorical question though, seeing how her hand was still tightly gripped around yours - forcing you to follow.
-
The two of you had sat across from each other like this multiple times before. Not once though, had it ever felt awkward. On the contrary; you and Lo'ak simply clicked from day one. It didn't take many days for you to consider him one of your closest companions. Whenever the two of you hung out, you would normally talk each other's brains out.
Up until now.
When you and Kiri arrived outside her family's pod, she and Neteyam immediately ditched and left you alone with Lo'ak. However, neither of you had spoken a word since they left - instead opting for an awkward silence.
"So," Lo'ak eventually spoke up. "What did you want to talk to me about?"
He didn't mean for the words to come out as harshly as they did; but he was avoiding you for a reason. Talking to you, and even simply being near you, hurts too much.
As he watched you nervously chew on your bottom lip, he wanted nothing more than to kiss you.
"Um.. Well, it's about what Kiri and I talked about in your pod." You noticed how Lo'ak seemed to look anywhere but at you, which made your voice falter slightly. "I don't know how much of it you heard, but-"
Sharply, Lo'ak interrupted you. "I heard everything."
"Oh." Another awkward pause followed.
A small part of you was disappointed. Deep down you had hoped for him not to have heard anything, and for his disappearance and weird behavior to have a completely different explanation. That way, this could all be forgotten about, and you could go back to hiding your feelings.
Taking a deep breath, you wiped your sweaty palms on your loincloth. 'Focus on the positive', you told yourself. At least this way you didn't have to confess your feelings to his face.
"Well," you tried to speak up again, "what do you think of it?"
Lo'ak was confused and annoyed, all at once. Was this what you needed to talk to him about? Your feelings for his brother? As if it wasn't bad enough that the two of you had betrayed him like this, you now had to corner him and flaunt it to him too?
Taking deep breaths, he tried his best to calm himself. He wasn't really angry with you, not really. Deep down he knew that neither of you technically had betrayed him. Neither of you knew about Lo'ak's feelings.
To be honest, he was only upset with himself for thinking that he even stood a chance with you in the first place.
"I don't really care," he shrugged, trying his best to appear casual.
Your entire posture faltered at his words. He didn't care that you had feelings for him. As much as it broke your heart, it also made you angry.
The two of you were friends. Even if he didn't like you back, you deserved a better rejection than this.
"You don't care at all? I find that really hard to believe."
"Okay," he agreed bitterly. He had tried his best to seem non-bothered. If you wanted to push him like this, then fine. "I'll be honest."
A small pause followed as he desperately tried to contain his emotions; but failed. "It makes me mad. I honestly thought you were better than this."
Lo'ak felt relief spread through his body. It felt good to let out the pent up anger he had been carrying the last couple of days.
"Wow, I never pegged you as such an ass."
You were absolutely livid. Albeit you hadn't expected him to return your feelings, this reaction was far from what you had imagined even as worst case scenario. Was he truly so disgusted by the thought of you liking him that it angered him?
Involuntary tears formed in your eyes, and you tried to blink them away. You were already humiliated enough, you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of making you cry too.
Lo'ak let out a sigh in frustration. Shit, he had made you cry. No matter how hurt he was, that was the last thing he ever wanted to do.
"Look," he softened his voice and shuffled slightly closer to you, "I'm sorry but I-, well it bothers me to think about you and Neteyam."
Your frown deepened, "Me and Neteyam? Lo'ak, what are you talking about? There's nothing going on between us."
Lo'ak blinked three times in a row, trying to process what you had just said.
He genuinely didn't understand what was going on. Could he have heard something wrong the previous night? But no, he was sure that you admitted to having feelings for-
Realization hit him like a punch to his gut. Kiri asked if you had feelings for her brother, but she never mentioned Neteyam by name. But if it wasn't Neteyam you had feelings for, that only left one other option...
"Wait, you have feelings for me?" He felt ecstatic at the mere thought of you returning his feelings.
"Why are you acting like this is brand new information to you when you just said you heard me and Kiri talking?" You scoffed and took a step back; as if you were planning to leave.
Lo'ak mentally cursed himself. How could he have been this dense?
"I did hear you talk, but I thought you were talking about Neteyam. Shit, I'm such a skxawng."
You merely shrugged at his words. "Well yeah, you can be one sometimes."
You probably should have stayed more mad, but you couldn't stop the intense feeling of relief that simmered through your body. His harsh words suddenly made sense. Lo'ak didn't hate you, he simply misunderstood the situation at hand.
"I'm so sorry, Y/N."
With no hesitation, you engulfed him in a hug. His loose braids tickled your neck as his familiar scent filled your nose. In that moment you felt so content that you almost forgot to wonder about why Lo'ak was so bothered about the thought of you and his brother together.
Almost.
Pulling back slightly, you looked into his eyes. "I forgive you, but only if you give me an honest answer on something."
Ignoring the nervous flutter in his stomach, he agreed with a nod.
"Why did it bother you so much when you thought I liked Neteyam?"
As you awaited his reply, it suddenly hit you just how close the two of you were. Your faces were merely inches apart; so close that you felt his breath softly hit your face.
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enbycrip · 8 months
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I need people to stop telling trans binary and nonbinary people who vent about their family forgetting or not using their pronouns or chosen names to “just cut them out of their lives if they can’t respect who you are”.
*Lots* of us are disabled. I really depend on help from my folks to manage my life when things are bad.
But, frankly, even if I didn’t - I’m not going to cut my folks, or the rest of my family, out of my life, because things they do hurt me. Because they do, sometimes right to the heart for things I don’t think they realise mean a lot to me, but that *doesn’t* stop me loving them. Nor them loving me. My folks are also right at the limit of their capacity caring for three people to different extents, and that doesn’t give them a lot of capacity to spare for learning or processing stuff they don’t necessarily see as all that important.
Trans folk, and disabled folk, which have a big crossover in the middle of the Venn Diagram there, are socially marginalised and isolated. Lots of trans and disabled people are literally cut out by their families for being who they are, and that is a big, big cause of marginalisation and isolation.
The idea that the rest of us should just do that to ourselves when people we love hurt us by not understanding who we are - and this stuff *isn’t* actually that easy to learn for people outside the queer, disabled or queer disabled communities if they’re not incredibly motivated to do so - is incredibly fucking damaging and, to be absolutely honest, a complete cop-out by people who are not willing to put up with the emotional labour of understanding that most lives are not simple, and marginalised people have to constantly deal with trade-offs in most areas.
I don’t remotely mean that people should put up with abuse if they have the capacity to leave that situation. But people need to expand their understanding to a) behaviour that hurts us is not necessarily the same as abuse, and b) marginalised people *are* frequently stuck in abusive situations, and this sort of absolute “leave or shut up” attitude people are so keen to put out online further traps and isolates marginalised people who are stuck, instead of giving them emotional support and, hopefully, physical and informational support too.
The idea that we can simply and easily withdraw from parts of our social network without it costing us something vital is incredibly privileged, and incredibly dangerous.
We talk so much in environmental and social movements about building community. We always talk about it in this purely positive light. I need people to start engaging with the fact that real, as opposed to idealised, community, is a multifaceted thing, and all the more so for people who are intersectionally marginalised - anywhere at the crossover point of queer, disabled, BIPOC, trans, neurodivergent, migrant, and other things. We are communal creatures by nature, but, frankly, capitalism has done a *lot* to break that up, and to prevent us from learning the skills of negotiation and existing in community as equitably as possible. And that includes in small communities like families.
Part of that, frankly, *is* letting people have vent spaces. Without necessarily jumping in to problem solve unless people *ask* for that. Venting is literally one of the ways that people move towards problem solving themselves - it not only lets them express emotion they may not have the space to express properly in the situation that’s causing it, but it starts letting them lay a situation out and put it in perspective. And online venting is great, tbh. It stops individual people from becoming sole venting spaces, the emotional labour of which falls disproportionately on women and femme-read people. And it means that, if you don’t have the spoons to hold that space for people, you can scroll by.
I absolutely do *not* find this stuff easy. At all. I am *way* too autistic for that. That’s why I work *hard* at this stuff.
We *need* communities. We are communal primates. It’s what we are and what we do. And, frankly, we need to get better at being in community with each other to build the future we need to survive. Capitalism and oligarchy has been far too fucking effective at pushing a narrative of individualism which ignores our responsibilities as humans - to each other and to the planet we live on. We need to learn to see the costs of isolation and being isolated, and learn the skills of supporting each other and negotiating with each other.
And, absolutely honestly, if someone *is* in a situation where they do need to walk away from a relationship (of any kind), they will be *so* much better able to do so if they have a community of genuine support from others around them.
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Text
Ode to Adulthood (derogatory, somehow)
A/N: idk what is this but i needed it outta my system. just me venting in verse, lmao. i'm aware this might not be universal to ppl. just expressing my feelingz and stuff. it might not make sense but anywhoozle, it's been a while. i hope formatting posts has gotten better since hiatus. Word Count: 275 T.W/C.W: None-ish
***
Things used to be simple As a kid, you've known You're on your way to Getting older while opportunities expand
I used to think 'It's all so faraway' What a weird notion Almost feels like yesterday-ish
Adults often informed me that 'You'll study for a degree Apply for jobs with it' Ingraining it in my head
Without also warning about Responsibilities you're saddled with You wouldn't have known Since you focused elsewhere
And if you're unaware People will scoff and say 'Well, you should have known' 'C'mon, it's supposedly common sense'
Well, how was I? How could I have known? If no one informed me? Or I've been focused on something else?
Where was a manual? When I needed it the most? It could have guided me Given me hints and tips
I wish I had instructions I wish I knew it properly I wish I didn't feel stupid I wish it wasn't convoluted
Maybe then those older Can see me as trustworthy Reliable enough to be allowed To do it by myself
There is immense shame For my lacking skills Leading someone else to Take care of it
Instead, I have been focused On being a cautious student On being a wary child On deciding my college path
That I forgone a chance To figure adulthood out and Learning those essentials others Must have learned too
Adulthood has felt like Given an impromptu role I didn't rehearse for Or didn't prepare for
Still, I suppose that I still have time Still have those opportunities To set things right
Perhaps, somehow, later on It will make sense I'll figure it out And it'll be satisfying
***
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lorelune · 2 years
Text
sensibilities
|| nanami kento x reader || T || a/b/o + hurt/comfort ||  wc: 3.4k  || ao3  ||
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You snarl, Nanami stays.
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minors, antis, and ageless blogs dni
a/n: here’s a lil slice of the a/b/o AU that i’ve been living in for the past few months :’^) this is more or less a vent fic that’s set in the world, and getting to play w some of the world building while also using nanami as an emotional sounding board is just always so 😩✌🏻💗💗💗 enjoy!
CW: omegaverse (omega reader, alpha nanami, liberties taken within the AU), established relationship (prolly), reader is described briefly with visible blush, reader is snippy & a lil mean, comfort comfort comfort, heaps of it, loads of it!
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The rain fit the mood, it seemed.
It came down hard enough that the slap of droplets against your porch window nearly drowned out the sound of your own haggard breathing. You couldn’t decide whether you wanted to throw yourself into the downpour, soak yourself through a second time, and scream or curl up in your nest and pray the feeling in your chest subsides. And that Nanami will leave, soundlessly, without requesting any further information about your mood.
You know you’re being unfair.
He deserves an explanation— he really does. It doesn’t matter that you’re in a particularly sensitive part of your cycle, or that you were triggered in such a way. It doesn’t justify your behavior. It doesn’t justify how you’re acting or make it okay. You know that, and you hate that you know how unreasonable you’re being. Yet, you’re entirely aware that you can’t stop.
“You should go.” You don’t look at him when you say in. You cradle your forehead in your hands and count your breaths. “We can talk about this later.”
Nanami doesn’t respond and doesn’t move either.
It makes you want to snap. Growl. Shout and stomp and have a tantrum, like a goddamn child. You know it’s not him— none of this is about him. It’s all you. Every last feeling bubbling and boiling you from the inside out has nothing to do with Nanami. It’s all your insecurities and trauma, pushed to the surface and festering in a way that feels so entirely uncontrollable. It’s yours to bear, and no one else's. 
You rake your bitten nails over the scent glands in your neck, for both your own relief and so that they put off an extra wave of the acrid pheromones that you’re sure are suffocating Nanami. Good, part of you nearly cheers when you get the metallic edge to your scent. You smell like a properly cagey omega, radiating such an offensive aura that you’re surprised Nanami can even stand to be in the same apartment as you, let alone the same room.
“I don’t feel comfortable leaving you like this,” Nanami says, still unmoving.
You don’t look up at him, you don’t need to, to know that he’s wearing an expression that straddles pity and deep concern. You want to shove him out your apartment door, lock it, and block his number. Better yet, move, hop a train and go to some tiny little town to never be bothered again. It would be far better than having to deal with this, with people who care too much like him— better yet, people who try to care at all—
Nanami says your name, firm and authoritative. The omega in you cowers, but you still refuse to look at him. You hunch further over your kitchen counter, massaging your temples and white-knuckling the fabric of your shirt. There’s an inkling of an idea to submit to him, to bow and fall to your knees and beg the alpha to stay and balm your wounds, even if he can’t see them. You hate how loud it is. You hate how you have to swallow a whimper and chew your lip to keep the sound caged.
He takes a step toward you and you flinch, exhaling hard and hot. You don’t want to snap, but you’re at the razor's edge, just a breath or two away from screaming—
“I want to help you,” Nanami’s closer now, and when you peak at the floor from behind your palm; you can see the tips of his house slippers. “But, I can’t do that unless you tell me what’s wrong.”
He’s being firm, but not overbearing. He’s not crowding you, or pestering you— god forbid, demanding that you pour your bleeding, screaming heart at him. He’s coaxing. Nanami is doing the exact right thing, and it still isn’t enough. Because you’re not just some omega in preheat, are you? You’re not some hormonal mess (well, you are, but not in this context), you hurt and not the typical, needy, stubborn omega who’s baiting a kind alpha for attention.
“‘What’s wrong?’” You parrot, something bubbling up in the back of your throat. “What’s wrong, Kento, is that you’re still here when you should be fucking off somewhere and leaving me alone.”
You wince at your own words. Why are you being so cruel? Why are you lashing out? If Nanami would just leave, he wouldn’t have to see you like this. Deal with you like this. You could handle this on your own, as you always do.
Before Nanami can reply, you back peddle.
“I’m sorry,” You apologize, shaking your head and wrapping your arms around your midsection. “You need to go, Kento. I’m not in any headspace to have a calm discussion about my feelings right now. We can get lunch in a few days, and talk then.”
Good. Isolate, process, cry and hate yourself a little, and then get back on your feet. Good as new!
“No.”
You freeze, then slowly raise your head up. You’re barely able to see Nanami in your periphery, and you can’t make out the expression on his face. You feel heat chase from the top of your spine to the tips of your fingers, “… ‘no’? What the fuck does that mean, Kento?”
“It means that I’m not leaving you in this state,” Nanami keeps his voice measured, unwavering in tone. “You’re clearly distressed, and I don’t want to leave you on your own to manage this. I want to help, and I have several reasons to believe you need help.”
God, you really fucking hate when people tell you what you need. Even if Nanami is courting you, seriously courting you, he doesn’t fucking ‘know’ you. Not this part of you, anyways. The ugly mean part that you shove and bury and silence in private. He doesn’t get to know that part of you, no one does—
(Lest, you frighten them off.)
Nanami steps behind you, hovering, and speaks just above a whisper, “Something is hurting you, and I cannot in good conscious leave you alone to hurt.”
You snap.
You whirl around, still not meeting Nanami’s eyes, looking past him and speaking past him too. The feeling in your throat that’s been rising higher and higher drips from the back of your tongue to the front, souring every word and thought you could spew.
“Oh my fucking god,” You laugh, really laugh, because this is ridiculous and Nanami should just fucking leave. “Why won’t you listen and just leave. Me. Alone.”
“Because—”
“Because, why?” You ask, chest heaving. “Because I’m some fragile, weak omega who needs some alpha to pet me and tell me that’s its ‘all gonna be okay’?”
(You recognize, for a moment, how nice that would be, but shove down the feeling quickly.)
“No, that’s not it at all,” Nanami counters, and you turn your head to the side and sigh loud and hard. “It has very little to do with your omega status, but rather that you’re someone I care about, and I don’t want to see you suffer alone. It… hurts more, that way.”
“I’ll be fine, promise,” You scoff and huff.
“I think ‘fine’ for you is quite relative, dear.”
“Stop that,” You bark, a growl sparking in the back of your throat. “Stop talking like you know me. Stop talking like you ‘get’ the part of me that’s hurting right now.”
He says your name again, calls it out, but you refuse to hear it. 
“NO!” You snap, going chest to chest with Nanami and snapping your teeth. The omega in you feels feral, ready to chomp and bite if it means you’ll be free and out of this situation. If it can rest and feel safe in your nest, even if you’re vibrating with adrenaline. “You don’t get it, Kento.”
“I could, if you’d let me.”
You turn your gaze to the floor, before slipping away from him, breathing far too hard and fast as you enter your living room. The rain keeps smacking against the glass, and it feels like a horrid staccato for your thoughts to follow in an awful, lilting tune.
“Do you really want to know, Kento? Really?” You laugh, running a hand through your already wild hair. It’s still damp from your earlier walk in the downpour. “I get it, I get you, and I know what you’re trying to do.”
“And, what’s that?”
“Take care of me.” You say, with a harsh breath and shake your head. You don’t want to be doing this. Shut the fuck up. “Be kind to me, when I’m like ‘this’. You’re trying to support a burning, collapsing building with bare arms and oven mitts, Kento. It’s a losing game.”
“… Do you really think of yourself that way?” Kento asked, softly.
You ignore him, you have to, and you keep speaking, “I don’t… I don’t want you to get tangled up in this part of me, Kento. I’ve already snapped at you. I’m being fucking mean, and I’d prefer to handle this alone. I don’t want you caught in the crossfire.”
“Why do you think your anger will hurt me, personally?”
“… I don’t know,” You sputter, “because that’s what anger does. At least, when I’m like this. And the more you try to ‘take care of me’ in that alpha-way I can feel you preambling too, the worst it’ll hurt."
“Even if you get barbed with me, it won’t make me care about you any less,” Kento says, softly. Like he’s sad you’ve… forgotten that fact. “I promise.”
“That’s not enough, it’s still cruel, I’m cruel—”
He calls your name, trying to pull you up from your rapidly developing spiral.
“Kento, I love you, and I can’t get away from the feeling that I’ll hurt you when I’m upset. I’ll hurt you when you’re trying to be kind to me and to take care of me. It’s your baser desire to protect me, versus my baser desire to protect me, and they’re incompatible.”
Kento stays quiet, listening.
“I just…” You fist your hand in your hair, begging for anything, anything to ground you. “I never have gotten this, you know? Sure, yeah, maybe, there’s a part of me that wants to be taken care of. Maybe it's a lot of me. But I don’t know how to be taken care of, without lashing out and hurting you. I don’t know how to accept your kindness in such a way, not so bluntly when I’m like this.”
“I’ve never gotten this before,” You admit again, something unwinding in your chest. “You know, beta parents with a 'beta’ brother. They didn’t cater to any of those… nurturing-craving needs I had when I was young. I’ve never had a proper mate or partner, either. I’ve always had to satiate those urges by myself, and I do a good enough job.”
You sniffle.
“So, it’s fucking scary, to let you in like this. What if I hurt you? I don’t how to step and move around people when everything’s so bad up here,” You tap your temple. “I know how to take care of myself. I… I don’t need anyone to do it for me.”
Nanami’s behind you, somewhere, and you’re glad about it. Your shoulders are drawn up, and your eyes sting with tears you’re begging not to shed. Your hand move to cover your mouth, lest some sort of weak sob escape.
“Perhaps you don’t need anyone to help you. You are wildly self-sufficient, and you have lived without a pack or partners your whole life,” Kento says. “I don’t doubt that you could manage your current feelings but yourself. But, wouldn’t it be nice to be helped? To let someone else carry the burden, even for a short moment?”
You think about it, really think about it.
It does sound nice. The omega in you, the you in you, wants it. It wants to turn, and run into Nanami’s arms and let him hold you and care for you. You want to trust him in such a way. But, there are too many variables. Too many ways to get hurt, and do hurting.
“I’ve always had to do this alone,” You say again. “It’s easier this way.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” Nanami speaks so gently, it nearly hurts. “It’s not easier, to hold all of this alone. I’d say it's far worse in the long run.”
You think about your recent doctor’s appointment, and the folded up post-appointment write-up that had a big, bold new diagnosis for ‘ONS - omega neglect syndrome (chronic)’ and its long list of referrals underneath. Treatment recommendations that ranged from a long-term care facility for immersive care to manage your symptoms, down to simple things like being scented once a day by people you trust and love.
It is worse, in the long run.
“Maybe,” You admit. “Probably.”
A few stray tears dripple from your eyes, and you’re quick to wipe them away. Nanami moves closer— close enough that the heat of him is seeping into you, despite your soaked dress and cardigan.
“It doesn’t need to be perfect, and neither do you,” Nanami nearly whispers. His voice mixes with the drizzle outside as low thunder hums, far-off. “I know it’s hard for you, but if you try, I promise to catch you.”
“… How do I know you won’t drop me?” Your voice wobbles with your tears, and it takes everything in you not to fully cry. You’re terrified of it— more than hurting others is hurting yourself. You don’t want to misstep and be let down so horrible. You can’t afford to shatter, can you?
Or, maybe, that’s just what you need. To shatter and dissolve and be reminded that things will be okay, even if you’re in a fluid, messy state.
“I won’t,” Nanami tells you, firm and easily. There’s so much intention in his voice, that it squeezes your chest, just between your ribs.
You sputter over a sob.
“I don’t want you to face the world alone anymore,” Nanami inches closer, palms resting on your tense shoulders. “You don’t have to. You shouldn’t have to, and you don’t need to anymore.”
Just let me in.
Just try.
“I m-might be bad at it,” You say as you paw at your cheeks. “I don’t know how even if I want it.”
“All you need to do is trust me,” Nanami begins, peeling the soaked cardigan from your frame and tossing it to the side, “And surrender, the best you can.”
With deft fingers, Nanami pulls the thin straps of your dress to the side, down your arms. Your shoulders are bare, and the scar tissue on your right side gnarls tight over the remnants of the scent gland there. He places either palm on the side of your neck, and with the pads of his thumbs, applies the most gentle pressure on your under-stimulated glands. You can feel it, even through the thick flesh of your scar.
The moment you feel it, you sink. You go slack and you cry.
You don’t know how to surrender, and such a term scares you, terrifies you even. But, you figure this must be a good start. You cry, and cry, and sob as Nanami massages the tender flesh, releases his own calming pheromones to keep you as pliant and soft as possible. Any urge for you to snap and shout has dissolved. All that’s left in your chest is the dissipating pressure, that your sure will take more than one good sob session to remedy.
But, you figure that maybe, you’ll be okay to have more. As much as it hurts, it’s cathartic.
Nanami coaxes you over to the couch and pulls you down to sit between his legs. You’re mostly on his lap, and in any other context, you’d be embarrassed and pink-cheeked, but you can’t pay it much mind then. You shove your face into the crook of his neck, soaking in his scent with an open mouth and wet eyelashes.
Nanami holds you through it. Above the rain, thunder, and your own ragged breathing, Nanami gives you quiet praise. Heaps of it— loads. It’s nothing overzealous, or exaggerated, just soft ‘I’ve got you’s and ‘You’re doing beautifully’s.
When you begin to recover, catching your breath for a few moments, Nanami smooths a hand over your hair and kisses your temple with an easy, “That wasn’t so hard, was it, dear? I’m proud of you.”
It should be condescending, but it just makes you sink into him more, “I t-tried.”
You hiccup and Nanami chuckles, all warm with something that fills you up. You want more of it.
“And you did so well,” Nanami smiles— you can hear it in his voice. His lips press firmly against your forehead. “I want to hold you for a while more, then get you some water, and you can relax in your nest. Take a shower to warm up, perhaps.”
“… Will you come to?” You ask, fisting his shirt in your tight fists. You clarified as your cheeks warmed. “T-to nest with me, I mean.”
“If you let me enter, then yes,” He rubs a firm hand up and down your spine, settling it on the fat above your waist. “We can take a good nap, and then talk and prepare dinner later.”
It’s odd, to have a plan laid out in front of you like this. It’s not any different from one you’d make for yourself when you’re spiraling, but it's so, so different having it laid out for you by your partner. Your prospective mate is telling you how he’s going to make sure you’re warm, happy, and fed. Wow. It sparks up something in the core of your brain, and you swear your synapses must light up like an overworked pinball table.
“That sounds good,” You agree, tucking yourself closer. “I-I need a little longer like this, though.”
“Of course,” Nanami squeezes you, hard enough to be on the edge of hurting. He’s reminding you of his proximity and strength, all in one. “Take all the time you need.”
You nod, soft and slow, and go limp against his chest. Nanami settles as well, back against the cushions, and wraps a free arm all the way around your waist. It feels secure, and you know that if you even tried to pull away, Nanami wouldn’t let you get far. His scent is thick and comforting and makes you dizzy in the best way possible. As much as you’re acting like a proper omega, Nanami expresses his alpha traits in his own way too.
You’ve seen some alphas who express their instincts through dominance displays with other means— fighting and shouting obscenities that scare you into submission. You know some alphas hit and claw to get omegas to comply with them. It’s fear and violence that guide some alphas when seeking to establish control and assert themselves.
Nanami’s not like that.
Nanami’s coaxed you into submission. All he did was give you a few choice words, gentle touches, and let you suck down his scent until your vision went fuzzy. Dimly, you don’t think that you’ve ever experienced this type of submission and care. It’s different than the overbearing, heavy-handed way you’d experienced in some of your omegan etiquette classes when you were young. It’s far different from the shameful displays some of the alphas at your workplace put on.
It’s just good.
It must be quite good for Nanami too because after some time, a rumbling purr echoes from the base of his throat. You nuzzle against him, where you feel the sound the strongest. You lick at the patch of skin even, your mind too foggy to realize the implications.
Nanami doesn’t seem to mind, and responds in kind, properly scenting you with the bump of his nose against your temple. You raise your head up as he rubs his cheek against your fully functional scent gland, and rubs the inside of his wrist over your back and arms. You do the same in turn, even pressing your lips against his jaw a few times.
“Thank you,” You say softly, after resting against him once more.
“Of course,” He replies, voice mixing with his pure as he draws you even closer.
And you think that maybe letting yourself be held every once in a while could be quite good.
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thank you for reading <3
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sasukimimochi · 7 months
Text
Prompt for day 20 - Feathers (see other prompts here)
.✦The Thing With Feathers.
Subnautica Below Zero / MDZS crossover ✦. Word Count - 1001
Wei Wuxian climbed into his sea truck and sighed, immediately falling into his sleeper cabin with music quiet and low. He’d been chased across the purple vents biome by a Chelicerate just so he could gather up a few more lithium for his equipment and base, only to have to get out of his sea truck to squeeze under that gigantic vent garden where another one was hanging above because Lan-Zhan sent him another set of coordinates to check out.
The artifact he’d found hadn't even been anything too useful- and he didn’t have a reinforced suit so when he got too close, he got a free lobster broil- except he was the lobster. At least they were one step closer to getting Lan-Zhan his own body, but why did all of these artifacts have to be smack dab in every annoying or dangerous location on this oceanic planet?! He didn't like the sea enough for this.
Well…he didn’t hate it. In fact he rather enjoyed its beautiful side. But it didn’t like him back, and he just was running low on reserves with little progress made in the investigation on Yanli and Jiang Cheng’s whereabouts. 
He just wanted a break, then a clue. It'd been too long since the last one he’d found. He wanted anything- anything at all that would give him a clue to say his siblings were okay. That it was a ruse led on by that damn corporation, that they were both okay and just hiding somewhere and not-
Ring— Ring–
He sighed softly. “Lan-Zhan…”
Another call... It could be important- if it was another artifact he should at least get the signal before he got some rest. Well, if what this was could be considered rest. Bundled up in a wet suit was not the ideal way; he missed wearing more casual clothing.
 He answered the call, trying his best to mask how tired he was. “What’s up, Lan-Zhan? Got another coordinate?” He rolled over and sat up in his cot so he could properly listen, pushing his damp hair to the side over his shoulder. He still couldn’t quite get used to hearing the alien’s voice inside his head, but it was a somewhat welcome distraction right now.
“Our searches have been… useful, but… I have no evidence as to the fate of my people. The network I hoped to rejoin may no longer exist. I cannot feel it.”
Wei Wuxian sobered up somewhat as he listened to him speak. Lan-Zhan had many moments like this- he wasn’t even sure if the other knew this was from a place of insecurity, as he seemed to have lost touch with a lot of human behaviors after living the way he had for so long. 
“There could be a million reasons for that. Like…what if the network had a system update? They’re on version 2001.4 and you’re still on version 14.2.”
“That would make me incompatible. How would I even begin to plan my upgrades?”
Wei Wuxian chuckled quietly, leaning over to rest on the side of his sea truck. “Okay, that’s not what I meant. Bad example. You still know how to get home?”
“Mn.”
“So don’t give up. Go there. See for yourself what happened!”
“You are expressing optimism but it is not supported by probability.”
Wei Wuxian sighed and smiled soon after, “Hope isn’t based on statistics. It’s born from a drive for something better. There’s a poem Yanli loved– Hope is human. Hope is…uhh…oh right– ‘Hope is the thing with feathers!’”
“This does not match any fauna I can find in your PDA.”
Wei Wuxian laughed, “It’s a line from a 19th century Earth author. Emily something.
‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all -
I promise we’ll get answers one way or another, Lan-Zhan.”
There was a stretch of silence for a moment, before he heard his companion add one last thing:
“Adding ‘Hope’ to your database.”
Wei Wuxian’s eyebrows rose as a small notification did indeed pop up on his PDA after the call ended.
Hope is an animal of unknown origin. According to Wei Ying and a poet named Emily Dickinson, it is described as having feathers. My database found the poem Wei Ying was referring to:
"Hope" is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all - And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard - And sore must be the storm - That could abash the little Bird That kept so many warm - I've heard it in the chillest land - And on the strangest Sea - Yet - never -in Extremity, It asked a crumb - of me.
The presence of Hope seems to inspire humans to persevere in the face of adversity. Perhaps humans keep a Hope with them at all times.
From this notation, Hope appears to be a hardy avian creature. It is capable of surviving at sea and in cold climates. Having "kept so many warm," Hope might be observed to produce exothermic chemical reactions.
Assessment: find and maintain Hope.
Wei Wuxian’s expression softened and he gently thumbed the edge of his PDA. Classic Lan-Zhan… he laughed quietly as he laid down in his cot, staring at those last words. Find and maintain hope, huh? His heart was in the right place.
He would miss him…
His smile faded somewhat as he thought of their eventual separation. Of course he wanted his own body back, but…what would he do after it all? Where would he go? It's not like he had a ship to leave on, and who knows if he could go back to normal life after this.
He sighed quietly and put away his PDA. He would cross that bridge when he got to it. They were together now, for who knows how long.
He had plenty of time to think about it after he got some rest.
See my other MDZS projects here, or check out the links at the beginning for the other prompts.
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junggunz · 7 months
Note
monster/deokbong from windbreaker sfw or nsfw headcanons tyia :D love your work
thanks shawtyyyy 💖
ngl I saw this request and my brains immediate response was "I literally don't know what to say about that man." and then two seconds later I was like...wait a fucking minute I HAVE LOTS OF THINGS TO SAY. but like...my wifi is out and I HATE tumblr mobile so here's just a couple things I gotta say
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SFW:
his American friends called him 'Duck' if I'm remembering correctly. he would probably let you affectionately call him Ducky.
you don't have to like embroidery like he does but if you had a hobby that'd allow you to exchange handmade gifts with one another, he would love love love that. men are simple and Monster is no exception, so I think he would like it the most if you were able to bake or cook him something tasty.
if you expressed an interest in embroidery or learning how to do it, he would definitely take you to the class that he goes to.
he isn't super shallow and he's doesn't strike me as the type to peer pressure you to go to the gym as often as he does...but like if you do accompany him while working out, it would increase the amount of time the two of you get to hang out.
if you have bad eating habits like eating only one meal a day or doing fad diets, he would nag you like crazy and tell you how important it is to properly nourish your body.
100% would teach you how to ride a bike if you didn't already know how LOL
Monster is definitely the person to listen to you vent for hours and hours then once you're done, he drops some motivating pep talk that changes your whole perspective on things lol
He's very thoughtful and sweet. However I feel like dating and romance doesn't occupy much of his thoughts and it's what makes him such a good athlete. The passion and commitment he has for sports is very admirable !!! however, because of this, would DEFINITELY friend zone the hell out of you if you had a crush on him and didn't outright tell him 😭 he would just think you were being really nice to him.
NSFW:
Monster is not an overly sexual person but once your relationship with him becomes more physically intimate, the most innocent things have potential to get him going. for example, if you playfully squeeze his thigh or massage his sore muscles after a long workout.
being good at sports like Monster means having a very high level of understanding your own body. so with that in mind, he probably only has the occasional worry about being too rough with you in the bedroom. for the most part, knows how little or how much strength to use.
mating press position with this man is probably CRAZYYY. but tbh he probably likes any position where can see your face and kiss you uwu
Size kink and strength kink really jump out with this man.
I think he most definitely has the capacity to be a big ol sweet teddy bear or be the muscle daddy of your dreams. really rough and intense sex is just a more fun way to get some cardio done in his head
marathon sex. do I need to say more ??? why explain this when you should be working on your stamina to keep up with him
his strong thighs are such a nice place to sit on. and grind on hehehe. AND HE KNOWS THAT. he might seem disinterested or just neutral about it, but he does like having you sit on his lap. when you're riding his dick, he probably has so much praise for you; telling you how well you take it, encouraging you to keep going when you're about to cum, etc etc.
istg im realizing that this might be a reoccurring thing with all the windbreaker characters since they're all athletes...but in my head, athletes can fall into either category; liking to be praised and told how good they're doing OR liking to be degraded and being basically bullied into doing better 😭 and depending on his mood, Monster can get down with some light degradation. but he's such a phenomenal lover....praising him to the high heavens might come easier to you.
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messymindofmine · 1 year
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Now that I've had some time to really process things, I really do understand why Carlos did what he did. I'm also not surprised that he didn't tell TK bc we all know communication is not one of Carlos’s strengths. What does bother me though is the fans that refuse to acknowledge that Carlos has done something wrong by keeping his marriage a secret from TK. What bothers me is that any time a fan expresses the slightest bit of anger at the situation or on TK's behalf, they're bombarded with anon messages telling them they're wrong and bringing up every single mistake that TK has ever made. What bothers me is the fans that act like TK isnt completely allowed to be upset with Carlos for keeping this a secret from him for so long. Those are the things that bothered me. It's possible to be understanding about why Carlos kept all this a secret and still acknowledge that it was wrong.
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I actually do understand why the writers chose to go this direction even if I don't like the way it was done. The fact of the matter is that Carlos has never been perfect. His flaws have always been there for everyone to see, it's just that many fans refused to see them. Whenever there was conflict between Carlos and TK in the past, TK has been the one to bear the blame even though there has been fault on both sides. Case in point, their s3 break up. Yeah the way TK reacted to Carlos buying them a house was disproportionate but people seem to completely overlook the fact that Carlos bought a house without even consulting TK on it. TK reacted the way he did bc he has always struggled with feeling like he's worthy of Carlos and he's always had a fear of losing things and so with this going so well, he panicked. This is literally stated in the show yet people were still so quick to jump on the TK hate train and insist that Carlos should make TK work to earn Carlos’s love back. The biggest irony is that I have yet to see anyone saying that Carlos isn't worthy of TK or that he should have to earn TK's love back since 4x01. And you know what? People shouldn't be saying that. What people are saying though is that they are upset that Carlos has always wanted TK to give him everything of himself ("I want all the parts") yet has held back something so big from him. It seems clear to me that some people just don't know how to handle Carlos being unequivocally in the wrong without the option of shifting all the blame onto TK. Hence why anytime a fan dares to vent on their own blog, they have to deal with people sending them messages listing mistakes TK has made as though any of those things are even relevant in this situation or they're just being blasted for being upset about it. Not only that but apparently we're not even allowed to praise how well TK handled it. It's OK to love Carlos and still acknowledge he has flaws guys. Certainly for me, my feelings on Carlos have not changed even though I'm upset about him not telling TK.
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The thing that upsets me the most though is I think we all know that if TK had been the one to have a secret marriage, people would have been clamoring for his head. But this time there is no mutual blame and even TK's reaction can't be used against him bc he reacted so amazingly. The fact of the matter is, people in this fandom have been constantly questioning TK's worthiness in a way that nobody ever has with Carlos. And even now, I haven't seen anyone doing that with Carlos and they shouldn't be. That's why I understand why the writers chose this for Carlos bc I honestly can't think of anything else that would force people to confront Carlos’s flaws properly. Especially since even in the moments when Carlos has displayed his flaws, TK is still the one that ends up bearing the blame. Case in point, 3x13 where people were mad at TK for not "opening up to Carlos" bearing in mind that Tim (who is a recovering addict himself and thus if anyone knows a thing or two about this it's him) even explained that TK was actually doing the right thing by not including Carlos in this particular part of his life. And even despite that beautiful scene where TK explains his reasoning to Carlos, people were still trashing him. Carlos has shown a lot of growth over the seasons but true growth can only come once you actually confront the root of your issues. Of course, confronting the cause isn't going to magically make the issues go away. After all, TK knows why he struggles with his issues but he still struggles at times. But at least once you confront your issues, you can learn how to deal with them better. Carlos has never confronted his parents on how their own lack of communication and the pressure they put on him affected him. And the Reyes parents have never acknowledged how they've hurt Carlos. That's why that line from Andrea about having a talk with TK 3x04 rubs me the wrong way bc not only did Andrea not have any idea why TK broke up with Carlos, she never bothers to think about why Carlos was so afraid of letting them down and instead working on that. And then there were the fans writing fics about Andrea lecturing a bedridden TK and TK apologizing to Andrea. The only person TK owed anything at all to was Carlos and yet fans act like Andrea had any right to be lecturing TK on anything. And now this new revelation and the fact that Andrea apparently knew about it, makes the line even worse. We can call it sloppy writing if we want but the complete lack of self-awareness does line up with Andrea's character as well. Lmao can you imagine if Owen had ever even mentioned having a talk with Carlos even at the beginning of their relationship? Even though Owen at the time had very good reasons to be concerned about TK starting a new relationship but we all know people would have been calling for Owen's head if he had. And I'll bet they'd do the same now. As I've said before, the way this fandom deifies Gabriel and Andrea baffles me. Yes they love Carlos but they've also hurt Carlos in ways that Owen has never hurt TK yet this is completely glossed over.
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All in all, as I said, I'm not mad about Carlos marrying Iris bc I can see why he would do that. I don't like him having kept it a secret from TK and I do think it's something that needs to be called out but I also get why he wouldn't bring it up bc it does fit his character. What makes me mad is the hypocrisy I've seen where the same people who have literally used TK bringing home a lizard to prove how he's not worthy of Carlos are now saying that fans have no right to be upset at this revelation or be upset on TK's behalf.
I am planning on making a post soon about the way some people in this fandom behave towards TK and how that reeks of ableism be it conscious or subconscious. As someone who is able to relate to TK on a very personal level, some of the stuff I've seen actually pains me
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l1tw1ck · 2 years
Text
Heizou and the Dad He'd Like to Fuck
Your neighbor Heizou decides to pay you a visit
FTM!Heizou x Top!Male Reader
Warnings: Non-Con Somnophilia, Oral, Creampie, Age Gap (Reader Age Unspecified), Daddy Kink
Words: 1,323
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"Oh, Heizou? What brings you here?" You open the door to your neighbor. He was wearing a very cute outfit, a loose white tank top and brown booty shorts. If you looked at him from the side, you could see a part of his tits. He apparently wasn't the type to wear bras.
"I know you're alone during the day so I wanted to give you some company! I made you something...it's my own special recipe," Heizou smiles and shows you the dish he made. "I call it The Only Truth."
"It looks great, I appreciate that you're thinking of me Heizou. Come in." You step out of the doorway, allowing Heizou to come in. You lead him to the table and go into the kitchen to look for the right utensils to eat it.
"How have you been?" You ask, sitting across from Heizou.
"I've been great! I'm actually the top of my class." Heizou grins smugly.
"Congrats!" You clap. "I can't wait til my kids get to college." You sigh happily.
"Thanks, I wonder what major they'll choose." Heizou smiles at your expression.
"This is amazing, Heizou! You're a great cook!" You praise him. "That's a good skill to have y'know? Especially when you get married, you gotta pull your weight."
"Y- yeah. Thank you.." Heizou blushes.
"I'm not the greatest cook myself, my husband is the one who cooks here. I make up for it with my job though." You laugh. You didn't work everyday but you got paid very well.
Heizou smiles.
The two of you continue talking and end up watching TV on the couch. You got yourself a few cans of beer, it was very early for you to be drinking but you were feeling stressed.
"(Name), is everything okay?" Heizou asks.
"Yeah....no..." You shook your head.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't wanna bother you with it. You're only 19, you don't wanna hear an old man like me vent."
"I do, just tell me." Heizou insists.
"Alright..." You sigh.
"Me and my husband haven't been getting along lately. We're really only together for the kids. I want a divorce but it would hurt our kids. My husband sleeps in the guest room now." You take a big sip of your drink. "I know it's bad to stay together with the kids but the both of us have traits our kids can't live without. He cooks and I work. His job doesn't pay enough to properly support the kids."
"I see.." Heizou hides a smile. "If you were to get a divorce, would you have full custody?"
"I'd want to but they'd have to eat my shitty cooking everyday." You laugh.
"I could cook for them."
"You're a college student, you should focus on that instead. Not somebody else's kids."
"If I lived here though...I live alone so it'd be nice to be around a family."
"Why would you want to?"
"Because I like you." Heizou leans towards you.
You look at him in shock. I mean, sure you had a few passing sinful thoughts about Heizou but you never wanted to indulge in them. The age gap kept you away.
"Heizou-"
"I know we haven't known each other long but I really do like you." Heizou goes in to kiss you, locking your lips together.
And maybe it was because you were feeling upset and had 2 cans of beer, but you found yourself kissing him back.
Heizou moves his hand past your thigh, palming your crotch.
"Mm- Hey-" You put your hand on his wrist.
Heizou frowns. "Why?"
"Kissing is where I draw the line, okay? You're just too young." You move his hand away.
"I'm an adult! I live alone, how am I too young?" Heizou huffs.
"Maybe in a few years but I just can't date a 19 year old. It's not right."
"How? I don't understand...This is perfectly legal!"
"It's not right to me, I'm sorry. I think you should go home." You stand up.
Heizou sighs and reluctantly leaves the house, not without secretly swiping the extra key though.
──────────────────
*Both of you are whispering i just dont wanna italicize all of it sorry*
Heizou sneaks into your house late at night, knowing you'd be there asleep. He knows all too well how illegal his entire plan is but he doesn't care. It's not like he's going to murder you.
He creeps into your room and quietly makes his way onto your bed. He thanks the Archons for your bad marriage.
He pulls down your pants and underwear, freeing your soft dick. He spits on his hand and jerks you off to full size, he was practically drooling at the sight.
He licks the tip of your dick, taking in the taste and smell of your pre cum, before he sucks you off.
You weren't too heavy of a sleeper so you eventually woke up to Heizou's head bobbing up and down on your dick.
"What the-" Your words are cut off by a low moan forcing its way out of your mouth.
Heizou reluctantly removes his mouth from your dick and looks up at you. "You're awake.."
Yeah, and incredibly horny. You had an erection that needed to be taken care of and you were so damn worked up and tired you decided to use Heizou to do it.
You pulled Heizou up and pinned him down on the bed. You took his shorts off with ease. The dim light that shone from the curtains revealed Heizou's ecstatic expression.
"Yes!" Heizou pulls his shirt off then his underwear. He was dripping wet, he even had slick on the inner part of his thighs.
"You're a whore, you know that?" You line your dick up to his hole.
"I'm a whore!" Heizou nods. "Please fuck this slutty little whore daddy!"
You were glad your kids never called you that.
"Don't you dare complain, got it?" You started to ease yourself into him.
"Mm- yes daddy~" Heizou nods, biting his lip to hold back his moans.
"Fuck- you're tight." You groan, stopping and giving Heizou time to adjust.
"Move, please."
"'S gonna hurt."
"Please daddy." Heizou pouts. "I won't complain at all."
"Fuck. Fine." You grip onto his waist, thrusting into him like there's no tomorrow. Heizou covers his mouth, his small tits moving along with your thrusts. You regretted rejecting him earlier.
"Mmph~!"
You hated that you couldn't hear his moans but there was no way in hell you were going to stop and change locations.
"You're doing so good." You groan. "Just like that, taking me so well."
Heizou bites his hand, holding back a loud moan.
"You're so much fucking better than my husband." You praise Heizou. "He rarely had sex with me. You're so perfect compared to him..."
He bites harder, he's so happy but he has to be quiet.
"I could make you into my wife. You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Your hand trails up to Heizou's chest, your thumb circling his nipple.
Heizou nods his head rapidly.
"I'd fuck you all the damn time." You lean into his ear. "You'd be my little bitch."
"D- da~ daddy~" Heizou manages to speak quietly. "Cu- cu-" He covers his mouth again as he feels his orgasm quickly approaching.
"Slut." That one word is enough to have Heizou's back arching as he has the most intense orgasm he's ever had. He squirts all over the two of you.
"Fuck-" You feel your own orgasm coming after witnessing that. "I'm close."
Heizou wraps his legs around you, making sure you don't go anywhere.
"You want me to- fuck-" You couldn't hold it in anymore, you shoot your load into him.
"Mm~" Heizou removes his hands and grins.
You pull out and flip Heizou over, lifting his ass up and watching as your cum drips down onto your bed. You'll clean the sheets in the morning.
"Daddy?" Heizou looks back at you, confused.
"What? You thought that was it?" You smirk. "I'm gonna pound you til the sun comes up."
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daydreamingleclerc · 2 years
Text
late night talking - mason mount
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summary: mason surprises you when he arrives home after being in america for pre-season and you just can’t seem to get enough.
warnings: language, cute!bf mason, teasing, praise kink, pet names, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f rec), i think that's it.
requested: no
notes: requests are open, please see my masterlist here and who i write for here! it's been a long time since i wrote for mason, my beloved <3 so i hope you enjoy!
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"i wish you could come home soon," you frowned, pulling the drawstrings of mason's hoodie tighter so it engulfed you in his scent even more than before, "i miss you."
mason's expression mimicked yours and the sound of your strained, tired voice from staying up until the early hours just so you could talk to him tugged on his heartstrings.
"i miss you too sweetheart," he hummed, and you hid a smile in his hoodie as you stifled a yawn, "what time is it over there?"
you glanced over at the alarm clock sitting on mason's bedside table, and even you were shocked to see that it was almost three thirty, but you knew if you told him that he would put the phone down and tell you to go to sleep.
"late," you shrugged.
mason furrowed his eyebrows, "how late, babe?"
"three fifteen," you sighed, stifling another yawn in the soft cotton of his white hoodie. mason's eyebrows bunched together and he scowled at you through the phone, disappointed that it was gone three o'clock in the morning and you weren't asleep yet. "don't look at me like that."
"like what?" mason's lips curled up into a little teasing smile. he loved it when you were sleepy, you got cuddly and whiny and that was his favourite side of you, only he wasn't there to experience it in person.
"like that," you replied, "you know i can't sleep properly when you're not here, i like my home comforts."
mason's bottom lip curled into a frown, but despite his best attempts at making it seem genuine, you thought it was sarcasm.
"mason, stop it!"
he flung his free arm up into the air and brought it down to his thigh so hard that his jacket brushed the airpod from his ear, both of you laughing hysterically at the other, "i wasn't doing anything!"
"you're such a pain in my arse, mount."
"yet somehow, you still love me," his smile lit up the space around his dull hotel room bed, "who'd'a thought?"
you gave him the finger and you watched as he giggled hysterically on the other line. there was a slight change in noise, where it had once been quiet in mason's surroundings there was now some commotion - no doubt the single boys were on their way out.
you stayed on the phone for another few minutes, and despite telling him he should go and have fun with his friends, mason happily stayed on the line while you brushed your teeth and got comfy in bed. he made sure to keep talking until you eventually drifted off into a light sleep.
"love you, mase."
"love you too sweetheart," mason's heart fluttered, and he knew by that point you were completely flat out, but he still blew a kiss to the camera, "i'll be home before you know it."
*
you always found ways to keep busy without mason while he was in america. jaz would bring summer over a few days a week when you had days off now that she'd finished nursery for six weeks so that jaz could go to work. the two of you would bake, and you'd take her to the park and paint her nails, which was always her personal favourite. lewis would come over, usually with a bottle of wine and snacks at the end of the week so you could vent about work and anything that you needed to get off your chest, and mason's parents would even invite you to their house at the weekends so you could have sunday lunch together.
"i love it when you go to mum and dads," mason admitted as he watched you eat your lunch, "i love how well you get on with my family."
"they're my family too, mason, i have been with you since i was eighteen."
"i just love how much you love them," he expressed, and took a long deep breath as he flopped onto yet another new hotel room bed in another lonely american state. he shifted on his matress, "did you get my present?"
you nodded, a smile on your face as you pulled down the neckline of the hoodie so he could see the gorgeous white gold diamond necklace that was dangling on your neck, and you pushed the hair from your ears so he could see the matching earrings.
"they look beautiful."
"they do, but you didn't have to get it for me, mason," you scolded, "you know i can't afford to buy you expensive gifts back."
"and you know i don't care," he raised an eyebrow, and brought the camera closer to his face to make you laugh, and you did, "i'm your boyfriend, it's my job to buy you pretty things."
"and i'm your girlfriend, it's <em>my</em> job to tell you off when you buy me pretty things."
you yawned as you finished eating, stifling it in your elbow and refocussing back on mason. he admired you, the way your eyes fluttered as you readjusted to the light after a yawn, the way your lips curled up into a smile everytime he spoke.
"i can't wait to marry you one day."
"where's that come from?" you asked, raising an eyebrow and having a little giggle.
"it's true," he replied, his lips curling up into a big, goofy smile, "i can't wait to marry you."
he was so infatuated with you it almost killed him to think about it, you'd been dating for six years and he still looked at you now like he did that very first time he met you.
"you look tired, sweetheart," he noted, "you should get some rest."
"i will," you remarked, "right after i've caught up on last night's love island."
mason rolled his eyes and a little giggle escaped his lips but you swooped up the phone and walked to the bedroom, where you got comfy in bed once more and said your goodbyes so you could inevitably fall asleep into a light afternoon nap while attempting to catch up on love island.
*
the sunlight crept through the slither of a gap between the bedroom floor and the blind from where you didn't pull it down enough before bed, so much so that it woke you up.
you furrowed your eyebrows, feeling somewhat confused at your surroundings. the sleep you had that night was the best you'd had in the four weeks mason had been gone, which was odd to you considering that the longer he was gone, the harder it was to sleep. alongside that, you woke up tangled between your regular duvet and the duvet from the spare room, which made the crease between your brows even deeper.
it wasn't until you clocked that the bed was significantly warmer this morning than it had been for weeks that you even noticed the body laying beside you in a light slumber. a light smile came from mason's half open mouth as he laid barely awake, just like you, curled underneath the duvet from the spare room. he was pressed right against the edge of the bed so he didn't startle you when he arrived home at two o'clock this morning.
at first, you were confused. he wasn't supposed to be home for another week and a half, what with having one more game to play in america and another to play in italy, but somehow he was here beside you in the flesh.
"surprise." was all he said, the smile on his face getting bigger when you lurched forward, arms wide open and a big, stupid smile on your face.
"i didn't know you were coming home," you said, your face smushed into the side of his face so tightly he could barely hear you, "i've missed you so much."
"i wasn't supposed to be coming home," he said, "but i managed to worm my way out of the final american friendly to come and see my favourite girl."
you pulled your head out of his neck and he tucked the loose strands of hair that had fallen around your face behind your ear. a lump formed in your throat at the intimacy, the same lump that formed in your throat the first time you had your first kiss with him, or the first time you had sex with him. you got embarrassed, but mason knew this and he urged you to not shy away from it.
his lips pressed against yours softly, his hands rested delicately at the base of the back of your neck, thumbs grazing your cheeks as you kissed. the kiss lasted for what felt like forever, although when he pulled away for air you felt empty and immediately pulled him in for another.
"i've missed you so much," he hummed, relishing in the smell and feeling of you so much he felt high. "marry me."
you couldn't help but laugh. mason had never been so open about marriage as he had been in the last six months, dropping hints here and there about you in white dresses, or making jokes about wedding bouquets whenever he bought you flowers.
"easy, mount," you giggled, pressing a kiss to his nose and wrapping your arms around his neck. his erection poked at the bottom of your spine and you kissed his nose again, "i think that jetlag has really gotten to your head."
"i'm serious," mason placed one of his palms at the back of your head to support your neck as he rolled you around, so you were the one laying on the bed and he was hovering over you. he kissed your lips, once, twice, three times and his eyes twinkled, "marry me."
"you know i'd say yes to you a thouand times, mason," you smirked, and he rolled his eyes, and couldn't help letting out a chuckle as he waited for the but, "however you haven't got a ring."
his lips found yours again, deepening the kiss this time. his tongue slipped past your bottom lip and you granted him that access, your fingertips scratching his scalp lightly. your teeth grazed his bottom lip and when one of his hands brushed your clothed clit you jolted.
his lips travelled down your body, and his hands hooked themselves under the hem of the hoodie you wore and with your consent he pulled it off of your body, and it landed on the floor with a thud. his lips continued their descent, and when they grazed your nipples your back arched.
mason didn't spend too much time teasing you, desperately wanting to taste you after so long away. his fingers hooked into the band of your underwear and you lifted your hips to help him get them off, and when they were, he wasted no time in tasting you.
your hands immediately gravitated to his hair - or lack thereof - when his lips locked around your clit. mason had always prided himself on being good at oral, and in the back of your mind it was always the thing you missed the most about your sex life when he wasn't around.
his tongue flicked at your clit back and forth while he pulled it between his lips, and his fingers spread your lips and your wetness submerged them.
"fuck, mason, i've missed this so much."
he hummed in agreement, and the vibrations sent shivers down your spine. you threw your head back, gripping at either side of his head as he continued to give you what could only be described as the best head of your life.
your orgasm was creeping up on you fast, and mason had to brace an arm around your waist to stop you from bucking your hips into his mouth. "'m gonna cum, mase," was all you said, too lost in the feeling of desperately wanting to get lost in your orgasm, and when you did it felt like an out of body experience.
you cried out loud, thankful that you and mason were lucky enough to live in a large house where you didn't have to worry about neighbours. mason pulled away from you, his chin glistening as he rested his cheek on your thigh.
he watched his fingers dissapear inside of you, curling slowly. the action made you shiver with sensitivity, and he left small, slow kisses on your thigh as he did so.
"you're so pretty when you cum," mason cooed, "have i ever told you that before, angel?"
you nodded, once again unable to form coherent words as he curled his fingers inside of you so deep, he was hitting your g-spot. mason loved the way you reacted to him in these moments, but it stroked his ego that little bit more when you were left unable to speak.
mason left small little kisses on your clit and everytime he did you jolted forward with a whimper, but he just wanted to make you cum again. his thumb brushed your clit while his lips pressed soft kisses on your inner thighs and his fingers curled expertly inside of you once more.
you wrapped your hand around his wrist as you felt your orgasm creeping up, and while the movement of his thumb on your clit slowed, his fingers worked slightly faster. you came with another cry, and this time mason let your hips rise off of the bed while you did so.
he pulled his fingers from inside of you and crawled back up to lay beside you, kissing your cheeks while you breathed heavily. he lightly pressed his fingers against your lips and you parted them, tasting yourself on his fingers while he showered you in soft kisses.
he removed his fingers from your mouth and immediately you brushed your lips against his, allowing him access into your mouth to taste you. your hand trailed down his stomach, and when your fingers touched his skin goosebumps were left in their wake. his erection was protruding through his calvin's now, and when you wrapped your hands around his dick he took a long, deep breath.
he'd spent so long without your touch that he'd almost forgotten what it felt like, and when you rubbed your thumb over the tip of his cock and smeared around the pre-cum he groaned, and you shared a little giggle.
"you feel so good, Y/N," he said, shifting onto his back, hands above his head. you laughed.
"all i'm doing is holding your dick in my hand, mase."
"don't care," he shrugged, but jolted when you readjusted your hand so you didn't over-stretch your wrist, "you always feel so fuckin' good."
your lips found his again and as you began to wank him off, he moaned into your mouth which gave you the opportunity to bite his lip softly. you'd missed these intimate moments so much, and you were relishing in every minute.
he bucked his hips into your hand and one of his hands instinctively groped at one of your boobs, squeezing the flesh softly. both of you were breathing heavily, and desperate to feel one another.
"please, mase," you whispered as you brushed noses, "i need to feel you."
mason's heart fluttered at the strain in your voice, and so he ridded himself of his boxers and hovered over you once more. the anticipation was almost killing you, and you weren't sure if the feeling in your tummy was butterflies or anxiety, but you didn't care.
he guided himself inside of you, stretching you out deliciously with every inch until his balls hit your skin. you both let out raspy, breathy moans at the initial stretch after four weeks of celibacy.
"fuck sweetheart you're so tight," he moaned, dropping his head slightly to watch himself slip in and out of you at a soft pace, "i forgot how good it felt to be inside of you."
you whimpered, nodding your head gently as you entwined your fingers through his. his thrusts got deeper as he re-angled himself inside of you, and you moaned loudly.
"jesus fucking christ," you mumbled, and in the heat of it all mason still managed to raise his eyebrows with a smirk.
"that good, eh?"
right before you opened your mouth to blurt out a sarcastic response, mason hoisted your leg up over his shoulder, allowing himself deeper inside of you which left you seeing stars and unable to speak. your mouth formed an O shape, and your pussy began making wet noises with every thrust.
he was taking his time but fucking you so well all together that you could barely think straight. your eyes would roll to the back of your head and the action would send mason into a spiral, biting down on his lip and groaning out about how good you feel.
you wrapped your free arm around his shoulders and his face was millimeters from yours now, your lips colliding every few seconds and moaning into the others mouth.
"'m gonna cum, mase," you whispered, feeling your orgasm begin to creep up on you. mason hummed.
"marry me," he said again, bumping your nose with his so you could look at him while he fucked you, "i'll buy you a ring, you can pick it out later," his voice was straining from how much he wanted to cum, too, "just please, marry me, Y/N."
"i would marry you in every lifetime," your hand moved up from his shoulders to his head, where you brought his face down to meet yours even closer, "of course i'll marry you."
mason's lips brushed yours and his free hand brushed your clit. your back arched off the bed and within seconds you'd hit your orgasm, your body convulsing underneath him as the pleasure rippled through you.
"fuck, Y/N." mason groaned, and you felt the familiar - albeit, missed - feeling of his dick twitching inside you. his cum filled you up and left you feeling warm, a feeling you could never describe to him because he would never understand.
he pulled out of you and rolled onto his back, the pair of you practically heaving for breath.
"i love you," you said, rolling onto your side and brushing your fingers along his stubbly chin, "y'know that, right?"
"of course i do," his lips pressed against the pads of your fingers, "but i love you more, wouldn't have asked you to marry me otherwise."
he smirked, and you hit his chest. the pair of you laid in silence, and you watched as his eyelids fluttered open and closed, succumbing to sleep so peacefully.
"there's nobody else i'd rather spend the rest of my life with, mason. all i ever wanted was you."
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palequeeeeen · 11 months
Text
I wrote some SFW V x Lizzy fanfic because its June and I wanted to. Might be kinda cringe tho. I wrote it in two parts, so it could be a tad clunky, but I have more fanfic of other ships if anyone wants it.
Lizzy tiredly opened the door to her very pink room in her apartment. She stumbled her way to her bed, and flopped lazily upon it. She groaned, and was very willing to go into sleep mode right then and there, when she heard a deep scratch on her window.
Lizzy lifted her head tiredly, and found V on the inside of her window, rather than the outside.
"I don't think I let you in, Missy," Lizzy sighed at V.
V plopped down on the bed right next to her, "Meh. I just 'asked' the door guard to let me in, crawled through the vents, and hid under your bed."
Lizzy sighed and rolled onto her back, further in the bed, “Well, you’re just the perfect end to my day, aren’t you?”
“Oh? Something got your bolts in a twist?” V asked, rolling herself onto her stomach and lining up parallel with Lizzy.
“Kids at school are being useless, as always. They just got me tired out today,” Lizzy stated, throwing her arm over her eyes.
V looked at Lizzy for a moment, before asking her, “I could kill all of them if they were such an inconvenience.”
“Nah, it’d be more trouble than it’s worth.”
The pair sat in silence for a few minutes, Lizzy almost falling asleep.
Suddenly, V moved herself to the head of Lizzy’s bed, and laid herself against the pillows.
“Don’t you need to get some beauty sleep?” V asked, putting one hand behind her head and patting the other hand on the bed next to her.
Lizzy rolled over and looked at V with an unamused expression on her face.
V sighed, and wrapped her tail around Lizzy, pulling her up to her side.
V laid Lizzy’s head on her torso and  wrapped her arm around her, clearly intending to sleep next to her.
Lizzy couldn’t properly process what had happened for a moment, but the first thing she registered again was that V was very, very warm, the second was that she was now very cozy and comfortable, the third was just where her head was, and the fourth was that she was probably going to fall asleep like this and not complain.
V turned the light by the bed off, leaving the dim string lights as the only thing illuminating the room, aside from themselves.
They were both asleep within moments.
A few days later, V was… anxious? Worried? No, just impatient. It wasn’t any deeper than that.
Lizzy was late. 10 minutes and 32 seconds late, to be precise. But, V didn’t expect anything less than that, did she?...V paced around the outside door of the colony, definitely not working off any definitely not nervous energy.
The door began to open, and V ducked behind the closest snowbank, not wanting to be seen if someone other than Lizzy was at the door.
“See you later, dude!” Lizzy (thankfully) called to the doorman as she stepped outside. V calmed herself down before jumping out of her hiding place.
“You’re later than normal,” V taunted, pulling out her claws to artificially scratch between her teeth.
“Ugh. I got held up because people were asking stupid questions. I got away from them, thankfully,” Lizzy explained, starting to walk away from the door, “What was it you wanted to talk about again?”
V hesitated. Should she really do this?
“W-well, I wanted to ask you an… awkward… question,” V started, still hesitating.
Lizzy eyed her suspiciously, “Is this about what happened a few days ago? With you sneaking into my room and all that?”
“Y-yeah… it’s about that…” V stopped by a snowdrift.
V groaned, and fell backward into the snowbank, covering her eyes with her hands.
Lizzy fell back into the snowbank with her, “You cringing that bad, eh?”
V sighed, “...I’m not normally that forward. I wasn’t that forward with my first gf. I… did not intend to make you feel awkward, if that’s what happened.”
Lizzy chuckled at her, “Are you serious? That was literally the most restful amount of sleep I’ve ever had.”
“So… you’re not mad?”
“I’m just waiting for you to ask me to be your girlfriend at this point.”
V sat up faster than Lizzy could blink, “Woah woah woah! I-I don’t even know if you like girls or not! I’m not just gonna ask that out of the blue!”
“V, I dated Doll for a year before she decided to pull that prom stunt. I’m not straight.”
V turned to Lizzy, gaining a shy look on her face, “So… are you… willing?”
“Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend,” Lizzy sighed with a small laugh.
V couldn’t hold it in anymore. She dove back into the snowbank and wrapped herself around Lizzy.
“Clingy much?” Lizzy asked, attempting to push V off of her, to little avail. V only hugged her tighter.
“You know the sun’s going to come up soon, right?” Lizzy asked.
“...Yeah… Do you have school tomorrow?” V asked right back.
“No, it’s Saturday.”
“...Do you wanna hang out?”
“Can we do this in the colony? You know, indoors?”
V (mostly) unwrapped herself from Lizzy, “...Can I walk with you to the door?”
“Obviously. Are you asking me to hold your hand?”
“...Maybe.”
Lizzy sighed, “Yeah, I’ll hold your hand. You gotta not be this clingy all the time, though.”
V dragged both of them out of the snow bank and onto their feet, “I’ll reduce the clinginess before bed and in the mornings!”
Lizzy grabbed V’s hand, “I assume that’s your minimum?”
“Yep!”
“...I can tolerate that.”
The pair walked off to the colony again, laughing lightheartedly.
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lollytea · 1 year
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ur willow nicknames are so cute but i have to ask,, what nicknames do you think her dads would give hunter ??
Oh my god this ask just filled my head with all those names Dads call their sons (or any young boy) and its so funny to think about.
I actually imagine Harvey as a very socially awkward guy. And he initially feels very weird around Hunter when he starts dating his daughter. Because it's like...he doesn't want to be rude. He doesn't want to mess this up for Willow. He wants this boy to like him. He doesn't entirely know how he feels about this boy yet cuz he's still kinda uncomfortable with the idea of his baby having a boyfriend so he's just...trying to adapt. Hunter, meanwhile, cannot properly read a vibe to save his life and assumes Harvey hates him. Hunter is also extremely socially awkward so if they're ever left alone together it consists of the most stilted utter garbage fire of a conversation you have ever heard. So many long drawn out pauses as they DESPERATELY try to find an angle here.
When Harvey sees Hunter he definitely says shit like "Heeeeeeeyyy.....Champ.....?" Which results in Hunter giving Harvey the most bewildered fucking expression and Harvey is mortified. And yet....he can't stop doing it. When he gets nervous he just starts calling Hunter like Buddy, Dude, Ace....please help him.
Hunter does not understand why he is being called these things until Willow explains it to them. Oh...right. Nicknames. Yes! Which means Hunter should give Harvey a nickname in return!! Yes awesome he's got this all figured out.
Harvey: Oh uh. How's it hangin', Chief?
Hunter: Hangin' good, uh.....subordinate...?
Which leads to Harvey looking at Hunter like he's the weird one and the latter has to go pace back and forth in Willow's room and vent about how he DEFINITELY hates him now.
Ironically Harvey isn't much of a nickname guy when he's not nervous. Gilbert and Willow are an exception because he's at his most mushy with them. But when it comes to friends, Harvey just uses names. So once they're finally comfortable with each other after discovering they actually have a lot of common interests Harvey just starts calling him Hunter.
Gilbert.....is so silly. SO silly. He is where Willow got 90% of her silly genes. He'll answer the door to Hunter and he'll be like "Well hello there, ✨️ Rockstar✨️ I heard you killed it at Flyer Derby practise yesterday."
Oh my God. Gilbert's Hunter nicknames are like: Big Guy, Mr. Right, Prince Alarming (the Boiling Isles equivalent of a cliche fairytale prince.) Ladies Man. These are solely said to embarrass Willow. And GOD they do. Like man stop stop she's already dead!!!!
Hunter thinks....okay yeah they're a little embarrassing but....he kinda likes them? He gets called Big Guy and he stands just a little taller.
Gilbert's silliest nickname is definitely "Hunteroo <3" The first time he said it, instead of cringing, Willow burst out laughing. She uses it now too. Hunter never really got a chance to form an opinion because he associates it with Willow laughing so now he likes it by default
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