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#they murdered the fish and the squid oh god
z0mbie0fzombies · 2 years
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More lollipop chainsaw incorrect quotes because life is nothing
( @battered-fried-colostomy and @mariska howdy)
1. Lewis: Hewwo.
Vikke: Hihiiiiii!
Zed: Greetings, Humans.
Josey: Three kinds of people.
Mariska: I want pudding.
Lewis: Four kinds of people.
Killabilly: WHAT’S UP FUCKERS?
Josey: Five kinds of people.
2. Lewis: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Vikke: >:O language
Zed: Yeah watch your fucking language
Mariska: OKAY WHO TAUGHT ZED THE FUCK WORD?
Josey: 'The fuck word'.
Killabilly: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Zed: Oh my god they censored it
Josey: Say fuck, Killabilly.
Zed: Do it, Killabilly. Say fuck.
3. Killabilly: If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise
Lewis: I beg to differ
Killabilly: Then Beg
4. Killabilly: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you
Lewis: 10 times 0 is still 0 though
Killabilly: Jokes on you, I can't do math
5. Killabilly: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Lewis, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Killabilly:
Killabilly: fsh
6. Killabilly: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao
Lewis: What did you do op?
Killabilly: A MISTAKE
7. Killabilly: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Lewis: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Killabilly: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.
8. Killabilly: Okay, help me please!
Lewis: Got two words for you.
Killabilly: I bet they won't be helpful.
Lewis: Your problem.
Killabilly: I was right
9. Killabilly, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!
Lewis: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar,
Lewis: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!
Killabilly, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS
Lewis: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?!
Lewis: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND
Killabilly, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ
10. Lewis: What is your biggest weakness?
Killabilly: I can be uncooperative.
Lewis: Okay, can you give me an example?
Killabilly: No.
11. Lewis: How petty can you get?
Killabilly: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
12. Lewis, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!
Killabilly: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.
13. Killabilly : I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck
14. Killabilly : 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.
Killabilly : Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'
15. Killabilly : If I'm really as evil as you say I am, then have the gods strike me down where I stand.
*Lightning strikes Killabilly *
Killabilly : Ha! Nice try, jackass! Next time, give it your A-game!
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oneacearmy · 3 years
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Killer psychopaths do not need sex
Fandom: Sanders Sides
Summary: Remus likes sexual jokes and inuendos but the act himself... not so much. Virgil, even as a gay man, likes him and tries hard to make Remus understand that. 
Tags: Asexual Remus, gay virgil sanders, slight angst, mostly fluff, spider virgil, squid remus. 
Word count: 604
Wobbly steps were heard through the floor, heels created their distinctive "clack" sound but instead of the satisfying sentiment that the sound brought him, tonight it just helped to fuel his growing annoyance a worry. Normally, Remus wouldn't worry about a thing, he likes being his spontaneous self and it avoids the second-guessing every step he took, but with Virgil coming over to his room so they could have a Halloween date, well, his bottled up worries started to bubble and spill like sour chocolate milk in a hot summer day.
A date.
A date with Virgil.
A date with his spiderling and the most pretty side there is. (they all share the same face but Virgil could wear it better than anyone else)
He has pinned over Virgil since they all were teenagers and now, years later and after being accepted by the light sides, he found out that his crush liked him back. HOW WILD. This was juicy than a bag plastic bag with the remains of a murder victim. And a lot scarier than a chicken with the head of a fetus.
His thoughts were suddenly stopped when a knock to his door reached his ears. It must be Virgil. OH MY GOD VIRGIL IS ALREADY HERE!!! He went to open the door but paused briefly to glance at the mirror and do a count over of his look. Boxers, a loose t-shirt with the legend "This is my human costume, I'm really a corndog" and his trademark wild and unkempt hair and moustache, nothing fancy considering the plan was to watch gory and gruesome movies while eating junk food until one of them passed out.
Another knock.
Holy shit, he cannot retain a thought for long, can he? Remus quickly made his way over the door and opened it wide to reveal Anxiety wearing his skeleton onesie with a sparkling purple eye shadow under his eyes and a smirk on his face. His fangs and six eyes were out and in instinct, Remus let his own tentacles out and hang limply by his sides.
"Took you long enough. Were you masturbating or something?"
The duke smirked lightly and stepped aside to let the other side in his room
"Why you ask? Do you want to watch or something"
They both laughed and started walking towards Remus' sofa, a piece of furniture with black fabric and dark green wood. Virgil let himself fall onto the sofa and sprawled all over it, obviously, Remus had to retribute and fell on top of Virgil, smiling victoriously when he heard a pained "uf" in return.
The sofa was large enough for both of them, but Virgil rested his back against Remus' chest, his legs occupying the rest of the space and his arms around himself. For the other part, creativity had his legs bend and in between his spiderling, hands resting on his shoulders and tentacles enveloping the purple figure. The duke summoned large pizza boxes, bags of chips, soda, ice cream and more weird things like a bowl of insects and raw fish. He knew Virgil liked the young beetles before any kind of chip.
"Thomas recently watched the new  Friday 13th fan-made a short film. So we'll watch the whole franchise in order and if you are not asleep after that, maybe watch something more?"
Remus kissed the top of Virgil's hair, gently caressing his hair and making the Anxious side blush furiously.
"You know me so well my little Catrin, maybe I will let you watch me jerk myself silly."
Virgil got flustered and started chocking over his own words. "wu-wah-ugh. REMUS!"
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seizethecarpe · 4 years
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Miss Fisher’s Murder Mystery || Winston and Dave
Timing: Immediately after Murder They Wrote and Murder He Thought Parties: @danetobelieve & @seizethecarpe Summary: When Winston hears a murder, they come to investigate, leaving both of them a little worse for the wear. 
Winston scanned the surface of the water, their thoughts frantic. They didn’t know how they knew. They weren’t really sure what these thoughts in their head were. But they felt foreign. They felt different. They definitely didn’t belong to Winston that much was sure. It was almost as if they were oil on the surface of the water, similar but not enough to be indistinguishable. “Hello?” honestly, they weren’t sure what they were doing but they knew that they had to look for something, they got up the flashlight app before immediately closing it. It was the middle of the day. Sighing, they kicked off their shoes and socks, and rolled up their jeans before gingerly stepping into the muddy lake that was Dark Score. Cringing as the dirt oozed between their toes, Winston shuddered, this had better be worth it. 
Gorged on Ahuixotl flesh, Dave was pretty happy and unself aware as he swam through bloodsoaked water. They’d finished their fight in an unobtrusive part of the lake, nowhere Dave expected to run into people. He just couldn’t stand to stay in the water much longer - fresh water itched at skin that was built to be surrounded by salt, and while being in the water was glorious, Dave had other things to do. Slowly, he exhaled, his body rearranging as his skin split open. He was sure for some it hurt, but for him it was as natural as stretching. Dave stood up in the fortunately waist high, bloody water. He didn’t hear the other person at first, nor see them as his eyes adjusted to the sunny light, but he felt them step in the water, clear as anything. Shit.  “Who’s there?”
Honestly. Winston wasn’t expecting to see Dave. Topless. For a man his age he was in pretty good shape. That wasn’t the reason for Winston’s slack jaw but honestly they couldn’t really help but try and look anywhere but at Dave. “Oh…” Winston’s mind was racing. What was Dave doing here and why was he topless. Winston guesses he could just be swimming. But swimming through water that was bloody was a weird coincidence when Winston had thought those things. Felt them in their mind. Here he was stood in water. “It’s just me, uh Winston, we met the other day at the … station.” Winston swallowed trying to decide how to play this. They really hoped Dave wasn’t a dangerous criminal or just dangerous. He seemed chill.
Dave rubbed his hand over his eyes, knowing full well that wouldn’t help them adjust. But yeah, shit, it was Winston. They were standing at the edge of the lake, jeans rolled up, their shoes abandoned on the rocky shore. In truth, they were a little far away for Dave to hear them all too great nor lipread as easily, but the kid looked slack jawed and deeply uncomfortable, for whatever reason, and Dave would try to be real respectful of that, so he was staying right where he was. In bloody water. Without even thinking about it, he scratched at his scarred up chest. “Yeah, uh, kid, why’re you here? Recreational side’a the lake’s that way.”
Frowning. Winston was vividly aware of the fact that they didn’t have a god reason to be here. They could always pull the police business card but they didn’t have their ID or any justifiable reason to be here. But it also seemed somewhat ironic that they were the one who was being questioned at this moment. Taking a deep breath. Winston took a step forward before immediately regretting it. Bloody water wasn’t going to do their jeans any good and Winston wasn’t sure what getting wet would do for them right now. “I … I was walking and I saw all this blood,” Winston replied in a half shout, “... kind of couldn’t help but wonder what went on. You don’t know why there is like … a LOT of blood… do you?”
“Really? You were walking through that thicket over there with all the trash that’s washed up for the hell of it?” Dave eyed them shrewdly. They were lying, clear as day, but Dave was about to do just the same. He wasn’t about to tell some cop associate that he’d killed an ancient species that pretended to sound like crying babies and used their hand shaped tail to drag all sortsa people to a watery grave? That he still had a bit of said species stuck between his teeth? “I’m fishing, Dane. S’all. Nothin’ for you to worry about.” 
Still unable to hear Dave all that well, Winston made the executive decision to press onwards into the lake, rolling their jeans up as far as they would go. “Sure let’s go with that,” Winston replied in agreement with a squint of their eyes, was there something weird about Dave’s teeth. Taking a few steps forward, they couldn’t help but frown. Swallowing their apprehension at the situation, Winston was about to say something when they spotted what were unmistakably not human teeth. Oh! He’s a selkie. Winston thought, it made sense really. 
Dave frowned even more deeply, stopping his idle scratch to warn Winston away with his hands. That was too late, though, as he heard them speak, calling him a selkie. His calm, if annoyed demeanor dissipated  as he surged through the water up to Winston, faster than he was sure most expected of him these days. He grabbed the front of their shirt and twisted it in his fist as he growled deeply. “What did you just call me?” He asked, his sharp canines only inches away from Winston’s face.
Winston was pretty sure that they hadn’t said anything. In fact, they were certain that they hadn’t even moved their lips. Yet within an astoundingly short amount of time, Winston was being grabbed by the collar of their shirt and dragged forward. “Hey, I didn’t say … I didn’t call you anything,” Winston did their best to protest. But Dave was clearly strong. Why was it that all Selkie’s that Winston had met could kick their ass up and down the sidewalk? Aside from Skye of course. But it would be nice to just have someone who wasn’t so much more … physical then them. It was instinctive, Winston couldn’t help it. It was like the first time they’d used magic against that Hell Hound, there was the pull in their stomach, the heat in the palm, a flash of blinding light and the smouldering smell of skin and hair burning. Winston wasn’t sure exactly what they had done. 
“Like hell you didn’t. You sai-“ Dave couldn't finished that thought, as hot air burst from Winston's hand, throwing Dave back. Kid shoulda thought that one through, Dave didn't let go in time, so as he fell in the water, so did the Spellcaster. Because of fucking course the kid's a Spellcaster. Plunging in the water was a relief for the burnt skin and chest hair, gave him a chance to let go and get some distance between them, and think. Like how he hadn't seen Winston's lips move a moment ago. Like how the last few days all he'd heard was these random thoughts about computers he knew nothing about. Dave came up from the water with his hands up - neither way was he up for fighting a Spellcaster without an ambush. "Alright, alright. You didn't say anything, but you thought it, right? Like you been thinking about rams and computers and stuff. You play with mental magic, Winston?"
“Fuck no,” Winston replied with a frown, “I mean, I have played with mental magic before, but only because this lake had a giant squid demon in it and a cult trying to end the world, but I ended up with a third eye from it,” Winston wasn’t sure why they showed Dave their third eye in their hand, they hoped that it would be enough to impress upon Dave how unwilling to fuck around with this shit they were. “I don’t know what’s going on but I’m pretty sure I’ve been hearing your thoughts too, like the fact that you just killed someone or … I guess something as a seal? I don’t know, but I promise I don’t want to hurt you and I really don’t like sharing your thoughts, it’s fucking deafening and I can’t focus on my ram and computers and stuff when you’re constantly making that hmm noise. Like I get that you’re stoic but jesus dude you don’t have to be so gruff ALL the time.” Winston hoped that they didn’t have to blast Dave again. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but I know you just killed something and I’m really hoping it wasn’t something that you shouldn’t of killed.” 
“Giant squid demon? Nearly sorry I missed it,” Dave said gruffly, touching at his reddened, slightly singed chest, trying to see how bad it was. Nothing he couldn’t handle, nothing needing a doctor. “You pack one hell of a punch, kid.” He almost felt bad for pulling them into the water with him. He narrowed his eyes as Dane ranted. “Alright, alright, I get your point. I ain’t that gruff. Although why you’re always thinking about goats is beyond me.” Hmmmm. “Shit, kid, I killed exactly what I needed to. She was a feisty one. Hold on now,” He rummaged around in the water, until he felt the limb, and lifted the ahuixotl outta the water. Bloody water ran from his flesh where he’d been eaten at its muscles. “I hunt ‘em. That’s all you thought you heard. Real noble of you to run out here to try to save her, although kinda ill advised.”
“Yeah, giant squid demon from the underdark that we lovingly named Squidward, had to carry out a big magic ritual to get everything in the town to a point where we could actually deal with it. Not terrifying in anyway.” Winston bit their lip and looked at the wound on Dave’s chest. “Hey, I’m …. I’m sorry I blasted you, I guess this was just one weird coincidence marred by supernatural involvement.” Pursing their lips, Winston swallowed away the guilt that they were feeling. After all if you were going to grab people by the scruff of their neck then you had to consider that this might happen. “Oh, damn, fuck, now I feel dumb… I guess thanks for killing something else that would’ve liked to hold my head under the water and … well probably eat my bones or some shit afterwards.” Winston felt better, at least Dave was cool, but they guessed that meant that there were other things for them to contend with now. “I can keep a secret, about … the whole selkie thing, if you want. I mean, like, I won’t tell anyone and actually, I know a few selkies in town already that are pretty cool so you’re in good company.” 
“Wait, Squidward was the demon? Why were people grieve- Oh” Dave smacked his hand against his head. He’d totally been had by them girls online when he came to town. Right. Good to know. “Sounds like that was one hell of an experience.” He waved away Winston’s apology entirely, unconcerned. “I’ve had worse,” Which was a statement he could rather extensively back up, considering the long, lacerating scars running across his whole body. This’d peel like a sunburn and get it all over with. “They cry like babies so you come to the water thinking you’re about to discover Moses in a wicker basket, and drag you under. Lot’sa things like this in this town, I’m learning.”   Winston would keep Dave’s secret if he wanted? Dave huffed, standing up properly in the water now he didn’t need to worry about a spellcaster sizzling half the lake before he could get away. “Shouldn’t need to ask, kid. Keeping secrets should be the default, same as I wouldn’t tell nobody that you’re a spell caster.”
 “Oh, yeah, that was probably ironic grieving, or they were part of the angry cult that was trying to let Squidward consume all of White Crest or whatever it’s nefarious plan actually was.” Winston was glad that there weren’t any creepy eye cultists left, they were a real buzz kill. Looking Dave over, Winston was sure that they probably had had worse. There was a gruffness to him that suggested that he had plenty of experience dealing with some of the more terrifying aspects of the supernatural. “Oh, well that would’ve absolutely worked on me, I’ll remember to take any crying noises with a pinch of salt with the recognition that it is probably some awful supernatural creature that is intent on turning me into their dinner. But yeah, this town is a literal hell hole in terms of terrible creatures that want to kill you. Don’t even get me started on the mime problem because honestly fuck mimes. Though I am glad that we didn’t have a carnival that was a murder carnival, I was kind of waiting for that one to specifically break bad to be honest.” Winston nodded, that was a dumb move on their part. “Sorry, sorry, I know, I’m kind of new to all of this and sometimes forget the ‘etiquette’ and the rules that everyone else seems to know about.” 
“Mime problem?” Dave repeated, looking at Winston skeptically, wondering if they were yanking his chain. If they weren’t, he wasn’t too sure he wanted to know, either. “Not a carnival guy, but I heard some shit went down there too.” Some weird mirrors, the drowning tea cup ride, the rollercoaster that left people petrified. “That’s the big one. So, Dane, how do we get outta each other’s heads? I’m figuring it ain’t as easy as trying to be quiet. Because I really don’t need to hear all your goat and I-eight-six-b-three or whatever now.” Leaving his pelt underwater for now, not wanting to reveal it to the spellcaster, Dave walked out of the lake, to where he’d left his clothes hidden in the undergrowth, forgetting all sorts of human decency conventions as he did. 
“You probably wouldn’t believe me even if I told you, but my honest advice would just be to leave if you see a mime, or kill it. I’m not convinced that they’re actually people.” Winston had the image of themselves dressed in mime gear burned into their retinas. It was a sight that they doubted they would ever get rid of. “I mean, it certainly wasn’t the most mundane of carnivals, but I don’t think that anyone died.” At least no one that Winston had heard of. But they could not help but remember the hall of mirrors. Winston was about to start suggesting various ideas that they had to potentially cure this and all of the research that they were planning to do and all of the things that they could try when Dave just walked over to the lake shore entirely naked. “Uh………” Winston wasn’t sure that they would have blushed that hard ever again if they tried to, “I’ll just look the other way I guess.”
“Right, escape the mimes, watch out for giant squidward demons and ladies making fun of it online, and be careful at the carnivals.” Dave nodded, taking it all in. “I think I got it.” He was waiting for Winston’s reply when they panicked, and Dave remembered that not everyone needed to see his own dangly bits. “I thought you said you knew other selkies. How do you think we get into our seal skin, kid? With jorts on?” Dave rolled his eyes, entirely unashamed at he pulled his boxers and shorts on, where the fabric struggled against his damp skin. He only wore clothes nowadays that would dry fast, and considering he was hot no matter the weather, they’d dry fast too. Once he had his shirt on, he emerged from the thicket to look at Winston again. Even if they’d looked away, their skin was still flushed deeply. Dave chortled. “So the brain untangling thing. Thoughts?”
“Dude, White Crest really is fucked, hearing you say it out loud like that. I don’t know how we’re not all dead.” Winston wasn’t sure what it was. Was it the shock of everything? Maybe. It was the fact that there was an older man that was naked from head to toe in front of their very eyes. Maybe it was the fact that this naked man was actually a shape shifter that could slip into their seal skin at will and change form. Surreal didn’t seem to cover it. “I guess I just wasn’t expecting you to do it in such a blase manner, but you know your confidence is really impressive. So you’ve got that going for you.” Winston needed to disconnect their mind from this person so that they could curl up and die. Swallowing their embarrassment at their sheer awkwardness, Winston sighed. “Uh, well, mental magic is really … finicky and I don’t really know enough to be confident in using it, but I have access to a really big library of magical knowledge and then there’s also the internet, and there are tonnes of people that might be able to help. I guess we should probably try by working out what is actually causing this and then we can work out how we stop it. Did you have a weird dream a few nights ago?” 
“Confidence? Kid, I’m just too old to give a fuck,” Dave replied with a bemused snort. At least he was kind enough to not comment on their embarrassment. He looked out to the lake, where we water had grown clearer. Or rather, the blood had diluted so much it weren’t so noticeable anymore, at least not to him. The fish’d had a grand time with the remains of the ahuixiotl. “Right, right. You hit the google and I’ll hit good old fashioned paper. Not that I’d have the foggiest where to start.” He looked up at them. “I have a whole bunch’a weird dreams, constantly. Had one about them hungry sands recently, and woke up with bloody knees. Now I think about it, you were in it. That what you mean?”
“Isn’t that the same thing?” Winston replied somewhat glibly. “God I really wish we could just google a fix to this, that would be ideal.” Unfortunately something told Winston that wasn’t the way that this was going to work. It was fine. Coffee would help them through it. “Yeah, exactly. The incredibly terrifying dream where my parents were devoured by the … what did you call it … hungry sands?” Winston had to admit that as phrases for names and places went that was pretty good. “Well, yeah, that was what I meant. I remember you were in it and I also woke up with fairly bloody fingers, like they’d been rubbed raw by something even though I was just in my bed. It was incredibly disconcerting.” Winston swallowed and frowned. 
Hmmmmm. “Wonder if it’s the same shit.” Dave rubbed the back of his head, shaking the water out of his hair. That dream had held nightmares of his too. “Anyhow, Dane, I got shit to do. This spellcaster stuff is way above my paygrade. Not looking to play Nancy Drew when I got to get paid for my real job. Why don’t you head off now, and we’ll talk about this some other time.” There was something else behind his words too. No way was he showing a near stranger his pelt, but he couldn’t leave it in the water either. 
Raising an eyebrow, Winston swallowed and nodded gently. “I got it, you’ve not got time to extricate me from your head right now, gotta make that bread or whatever.” Why did Winston always have to do everything themselves? Sighing, they turned and waded to the edge of the lake. The cuffs off their jeans soaking wet despite the fact that they had been rolled up, obviously hadn’t made much of a difference. 
“If neither of us’s got an answer as to the how, then I don’t see how we can get our brains untangled right now,” Dave replied with a shrug. “And I ain’t signing up to having my head messed with until we know more.” What did Winston expect, a buddy cop movie? Dave sighed, internally and externally. Realising there was a whole chance they would hear that. He crossed his arms, looking back out to the lake as he learnt against a tree. The sooner they were gone, the better. 
As Winston turned to walk away, they couldn’t help but think that a buddy cop movie would’ve been nice, Dave might not know it yet, but Winston was now determined to make it happen. 
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marble-writes · 4 years
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Could you write the Selkie au scenario where Cthulhi!Risotto confronts our two favorite Stardust Marine Biologists?
The investigation gets thicker...
They’ve never been more shaken in their lives.
They don’t know what they just witnessed, but it wasn’t natural.
A massive horse with the teeth of a wolf came out of the water, had enough jaw strength to crunch a harpoon gun, and spoke a name: Risotto.
The strange squidman could fly and spoke a name as well: Prosciutto.
Jotaro’s thoughts float in his mind as he ties his boat to the private dock, paid for by his grandfather. Naples is quiet tonight.
What did that mean?
That horse tried attacking him and Kakyoin. The squidman was obviously trying to prevent that. What in the world is going on?
“Jotaro? You’ve been staring at the water for a whole minute now.”
“Oh. Sorry...” Jotaro shakes his head and takes Kakyoin’s hand into his own, “Let’s get home, honey.”
———
While Kakyoin has gone to bed, Jotaro browses the Internet on his tablet. He has the lamplight low enough for his husband to sleep.
Looking up squid person, octopus person, winged squid person and the like has winded him up with nothing. Jotaro furrows his brow— seaweed horse brought him to sightings and blurred cryptic photographs of the mythical Scottish Kelpie, so why not this strange squidman? The same goes for mermaids and selkies, there are plenty of glimpses for the slim possibility of them being real...
Jotaro glances at Kakyoin’s sketchbook sitting on his desk. He flips it open to the most recent page— the squidman.
What a strange creature. The torso of a man, wings of a two-clawed bat, fins like a fish. Jotaro takes a picture and sends it to his old friend Avdol via email. Avdol may not be a marine biologist— or any sort of biologist for that matter— but his vast knowledge from history to astrology may be of some use.
Avdol responds in mere minutes:
   Mr. Kujo, if what you saw was real, then believe me when I say it is no mirage.
Below I’ve attached sources from the 1900’s. There are accounts of strange squid-like humanoids, photographs of unusual ruins, cults worshiping them, and unnatural phenomena.
Make what you will of them, but beware, those who investigated went mad.
X Clay_Statue.jpg
X Wilson_Letters.pdf
X Great_Old_One_Cult_1907.pdf
X Sydney_Bulletin_1925.pdf
   Jotaro goes through each source, carefully reading the words and letting them process. The image of the clay statue near perfectly matches the sketch that Kakyoin drew of the squidman. But everything else...?
Murder cults.
Mass dreams of sunken cities and the same alien phrase, chanted over and over again.
Cosmic beings.
A great creature bursting out of the doors of a sunken city and looking upon it made people go mad.
“What in the world does this have to do with that goddamn squidman...?” Jotaro mutters.
“JOTARO, LOOK OUT!”
Jotaro whips his head around when he hears Kakyoin scream. Right at the door is... nothing.
“Oh God. I’m so sorry...” Kakyoin rubs his eyes, “I must be going crazy... I thought I saw something there.”
“It’s ok, honey. I should be getting to bed anyway.”
Maybe they’re already going mad.
—————
The boat rocks under the warm Mediterranean sun. Jotaro tells Kakyoin about everything that Avdol sent him. All the redhead responded with was, “Oh please. I can’t go mad from looking at a squidman. I’ve seen weirder on the internet.” He said this with great confidence. This made Jotaro chuckle.
The boat whirrs to a stop in front of the beach where they last saw the squidman. This is also where they saw that apparant Kelpie. But if Jotaro is right, then that Kelpie shouldn’t attack them again... if the squidman is around.
Jotaro and Kakyoin stand at the head of the boat, scanning the beach with their binoculars. There’s nothing except for seagulls and crashing waves...
“I am surprised you two came back so quickly.”
The marine biologist pair turn their heads around slowly, eyes wide. Sitting atop of the cabin is the squidman. He looks as tall as Jotaro does, even when sitting with his snakelike tail swaying below him. Up close, he really does look like a humanoid Mimic Octopus.
The squidman looks down upon the two from his perch, deep crimson eyes locked onto them like a hawk. Jotaro instinctively moves his arm in front of Kakyoin.
“No need. I am not here to harm you two...” the creature speaks in a deep, rumbling baritone. “I simply wish to talk. I have... inquiries.”
“Oh really?” Jotaro chooses his words carefully. “I’ve got a lot of questions for you too.”
The squid creature’s eyes glint. Jotaro isn’t sure if it’s murderous intent or curiosity. “Very well... I will allow for one question from you. But answer mine first.”
Jotaro nods. Meanwhile, Kakyoin is about to shit himself. That squidman’s glare is intense.
“What are you doing here?” The octopus monster asks.
“We came to this area to watch the sea turtles and study cetacean life.” Jotaro answers truthfully. “We’re marine biologists.”
“I see. That is good...” The monster speaks again, “But you are clearly looking for me.”
“What did you expect us to do?” Jotaro says, “How could someone as curious as my assistant and I ignore a new species?”
“I would advise that you cease your investigation.” The squidman plainly says. “To spare your sanity and lives.”
“Is that a threat?” Kakyoin seethes, “Well, we’re not scared of you!” 
The monster’s eyes narrow. “I, personally, do not care if you biologists poke me around. But others of my kind would not take kindly to such activities. If it weren’t for how you marine biologists help the save ocean and my kind indirectly, I would have killed you two already.” 
Jotaro opens his mouth to speak, but the creature cuts him off. “And such information about my kind is strictly forbidden by your governments or black market organizers or whatever. We are classified. Aliens to you. In fact, whenever one of us is spotted, we are captured and cut apart in private research facilities. If our existence is known to the entire world, the people would be in chaos.” 
The biologists don’t know what to say. But what the monster has said has confirmed most of Jotaro’s suspicions. 
“But... you two seem to be good in your hearts. Which is why you are still alive now and I know you will not tell of what you saw.” 
“Er... thank you.” Kakyoin mutters. 
“Now...” The creature stretches his wings, “I will allow one question from you.” 
Jotaro crosses his arms and leans back on the railings. “Tell me. The politician who cut off fundings for marine research that died at sea. The random disappearances of poachers. That was your doing, wasn’t it?” 
The monster snorts. Then he chuckles. Then he bursts out laughing, holding his belly with his terribly clawed hands and swinging his legs over the cabin. “You are a clever one... yes, that was me, amongst other creatures you know as mermaids and selkies.” 
Jotaro cracks a smile. “I see... thank you for your services then... Risotto.” 
Risotto grins. And like that, with a flap of his wings, he was gone. 
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So here is a bit of what I’m doing. Nothing very interesting beyond sketches and stuff. I went on to try and upgrade my sketches by sketching twice and, to be honest, that bigger Raziel is pretty good. But I won’t pat myself on the back too much, cause right beside it is some weird girl face that I shouldn’t have even tried.
The true murder of the giant space god-
"The argument goes something like this: 'I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing.' 
'But, says Man, the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.'
 'Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and vanishes in a puff of logic.
 'Oh, that was easy,' says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing. “
I would have released this earlier but Kain being killed by a Zebra was just so nonsensical. 
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trash-party-time · 2 years
Text
Party Refresher Chapter: Cracks in the Foundation   Prev | Next
“so last night i had, amongst other dreams, lord of the rings but make it dnd. the party got all the way to rivendell or the equivalent thereof. and were like "we got attacked so much along the way we lost the ring!" then crow just pulls the one ring out of his pocket like, oh this thing? this is what you need? which is 100% on brand for this asshole.” “YUP.” “therai had it at one point and didn't know what it did and was really confused because her stealth bonus wasn't high enough to be invisible was it?”
“Anyway, I’m going to be a seal now.”
“Ar’lorn wants to pet the seal!” “Is Ar’lorn aware that seals have claws?” “And teeth?” “And is actually Crow?” “And she’s now like waist deep in the water?” “DON’T CARE, PETTING SEAL.”
DM: can we please stop talking about different kinds of seals and get back to the plot???
T: Can I eat the fish? DM: -ignoring in favor of narration- T: There might be a kraken down here! DM: -IGNORING EVEN HARDER IN FAVOR OF NARRATION-
DM: Just reminding you, H, you are playing a barbarian and you do have rage I: You’ve only raged once and at a wall H: I’ve raged at other things! T: nope. wall. I: Wall make barbarian ANGRY!
“Are y’all paying attention or do I have to throw thunderbolt or something?”
“There’s something attached to the chain you’ve never really seen before.” “Is it a plug??” “Drain the lake!”
“You’re assuming Ar’lorn knows how to swim.” “You don’t HAVE to swim! you have waterbreathing, we’ll just throw you in and you can SINK.”
“If you wanna see what it is you’re gonna have to get closer.” “I’m just gonna do that thing where you tap the joystick slowly to try to get closer to the enemy without aggro-ing them.”
“It’s swimming towards you rather quickly.” “Crow’s like, fuckity BYE!” “Sufficiently recon’d, BYE!”
“Nope, I’m doing it because you said yes.” “God’s being a bullllyyyyyyy.”
“Probably too far out to poke with a stick, huh?” “Very yes.” “What if it’s a really long stick?” “Well good luck cutting down a tree for it.” “Ar’lorn would do it.”
“Ar’lorn! Launch yourself into the lake with that fan!” “Noooo.” “.....You don’t want reckless endangerment? I’m shocked.”
“I don’t think animal handling works on a wildshaped druid.” “What about people handling? Do we have people handling?” “That’s charisma, and no. no we do not.”
“It had eyes the size of my HEAD, I didn’t exactly stop to offer it biscuits.” “Go back and give it biscuits.” “.....sea biscuits.”
“I don’t have a potion of “don’t eat me”.” “Yes you do, it’s called a halberd.”
“Let’s save the moose as a last resort.” “Let’s just not moose.”
“You said I wouldn’t have to take my armor off!” “Yeah, just sink. Getting out is a you problem.” “Hey!”
“If we surface, and we don’t see Garrett or Val we’ll just float here going “come at me bro” to the bandits.”
“We’re just leaving Val to babysit the NPCs then?” “Yeah, sure.” “As she lovingly tucks them away in a bush far away from her.” “Always store your NPCs properly in a nearby shrub.”
Idra, slowly sinking: welp, this is my life now.
“Ar’lorn doesn’t get the daylight.” “Can’t be trusted.”
DM: The water pressure is nearly intolerable but something is slightly keeping it off you, because i don’t fucking wanna deal with water pressure.
“Why would the seaweed pinch me?” “It’s really mean seaweed.”
“Because you’re underwater, your voices sound very different.” “So you’re saying instead of doing anything useful we spend about ten minutes laughing at silly voices.” “Yeah, probably.”
“Guys, I found it!” “The stick?” “No, the eyes.”
“If this is a mechanical squid I’m gonna be SO MAD.”
“Well, it’s been fun, guys.” “Has it though?” “It’s been....something.”
“Ar’lorn, go pull the stick!” “Fetch!” “Ar’lorn, it’s a knick knack!” “I don’t want that knick knack!”
“Ar’lorn is being sensible today, I’m not sure I appreciate it.” “She’s foiling our plans to get her murdered, how dare she!” “Haha! I shall liiiiiive!”
A: This is deeply upsetting T: .........forgot you really hate deep water
“So it’s primordial with a cockney accent?”
we found a blue djinn, we’ve gone FULL aladdin.
"Are you a good djinn or a bad djinn?" "I'm not a djinn at all, I'm Idra!"
“The entire country of England, in Ar’lorn’s knickknack jar!”
“It’s bigger then Crow!” “Crow’s 5′7″!” “....it’s bigger then Therai.” “Yeah, but most things are.”
“Straddle that pole, Ar’lorn!”
oh GOD Ar’lorn’s Fan of Launching got enhanced this can only end badly
there goes the lake. so much for not fucking up the local ecostystem.
SHEET OF HOLE-DING, patented by ACME. This is some roadrunner shit.
“Bad and naughty bandits get thrown in the death sheet!”
“Crow’s petting the owlbear like, what do want to do to my naughty child?” “It tries to bite him.”
“Maybe you should stop being delicious, Ar’lorn.”
“Ar’lorn, you really don’t know anything about magic, do you?” “Nope!”
“Okay, so whoever has the fan gets the owlbear?” “Your descendants are gonna have a great surprise at some point in the future.”
“The rod had a release switch the whole time????” “The lesson here is always roll investigation.”
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queerspacepirate · 6 years
Text
A Long Trip; Episode One: The Capture of A Captain
Hello everyone, I hope you get as much enjoyment from our journey as we do!! Please feel free to ask us any questions and support us on patreon!! 
-The Crew!!
A Long Trip
EPISODE 1:
The Capture of A Captain
Narrator: Today is the 21st of November, 53-79. Our story begins with Chase Foster, a human from the Spara EE1 Solar System owned by the Allegiance Military.  Having lost his parents and brother at the young age of twelve, eight years before maturity, due to a war for freedom, he was forced into the Military. Chase worked as a mechanic and pilot for the next eight years on The Allegiance Ship,  “Carnation.” It was hell to say the least. Chase, now twenty-two, has spent the last two and a half years on the pirate ship “The Barbaric Princess.” Despite the name, The Princess and it's crew have been his home and family in peace… until now...
Chase to Ngozi: (With Excitement) Today is the day, Ngozi! Captain Paris is letting me pilot The Princess when we depart from dock today!
Ngozi: (tiredly with a bit of a sigh.) You know Chase, you're my best friend but I swear if you wake me up this early ever again….. (Grumbling and mumbling “I fucking hate you sometimes”.)
Chase: (laughing in amusement) Haha alright, go back to sleep, lazy fish.
Narrator: The halls of The Barbaric Princess always hum with a soft metallic noise. It's quite peaceful once you get used to it. Chase was definitely used to it. He'd been in space since he was twelve. He'd love to say he'd never look back but he'd be lying. Right now though, Chase was the one humming with excitement.
Murphy: (Slightly out of breath but still energetic) Chase! Wait up!! I wanted to make sure I caught you before you head off to see Aquila!
Chase: Oh? (Chuckles softly) Did Tadala(pronounced Tuh- dala) mess with inventory again, Murphy?
Murphy: (also with a giggle) Actually, it was Glaw(pronounced Gl- auh). I mean of course Tadala helped. Which, of course made Aquila(pronounce Aquail-a) mad, I thought it was hilarious so apparently I'm “grounded” from inventory today along with them.
Chase: And you want me to get you something? Right? You're just plain trouble, all three of you.
Murphy: (laughs softly) and we're proud of it, Chasey poo. But you will, won't you?
Chase: I always do, don't I?
Murphy: So you know that blaster I've been talking about?! Well it's here! (Sad pouting and fake whimper)  Except Aquila won't let me in…
Chase: (laughs) I'll get it for you. Just know you owe me.
Murphy: Always Sweetie!
Narrator: Inventory is huge. It's one of the biggest rooms in the whole ship. It holds everything from hygiene products to blasters. Sometimes even people, though we won't get into that. The large security door is made of a strange alien metal, which everyone has the code to. Chase slowly pokes his code in with soft beeping noises.
Aquila:(noticing Chase with excitement) (Draw out the a.) Darling, how wonderful it is too see you on your first day as pilot under Olu +pronounced O-loo+.
Chase: Honor to you and yours, Aquila.
Aquila: (giving a soft scoff) We know each other enough not to use such… formalities, do we not Darling?
Chase: Of course, Aquila. I just heard you've been having some issues with certain people.
Aquila, sighing deeply: When will I ever learn not to trust Tadala and Glaw with inventory…
Chase, softly: I'm not sure. I am here for a reason though. There's —
Aquila: Murphy asked you to get her new blaster, didn't she?
Chase, softly: Yes…
Aquila, huffing harshly: You know if she wouldn't have thought it was hilarious that those two added an extra two hours of work... (Rumbling through boxes)
Chase: She could have gotten it herself, I know, Aquila.
Aquila: Here you go. Tell her that she can come get anything else she needs tomorrow instead of bothering you on your big day, Darling.
Chase: Alright, Aquila. I hope your day goes better. Honor to you and yours.
Aquila: And Honor and Health to you and yours.
Narrator: The control area of the ship is a bit cluttered with work stations. Chase is anxious when he spots Captain Paris next to the Pilot’s station.
Olu: (gruffly with little patience) Foster! Chase: (Distant from across the room) Uh… Sir? Olu: (Deeply annoyed sigh before snapping out with heavy sarcasm and annoyance) Are you going to stand there all day or are you actually going to pilot?
Chase: *running across the room* (anxiously) Pilot, Sir!
Olu: I would hope so, Ch-- (Immediately Correcting himself with a hint of embarrassment) uh Foster.
Chase: (Oblivious that Olu was correcting himself over almost calling him Chase) Yes, Sir?
Olu: (With embarrassment) Uh, nothing. *shuffling away*
Viv: (From the side in deep amusement) Well, he’s getting worse everyday.
Chase: (suddenly very concerned) Wait, is Captain Paris sick Vivian?!
Viv: (amused and trying not to laugh) You could say he’s sick. (Under her breath) Love sick.
Chase: Hmm….
Viv: We are headed to the Spara quadrant, which personally, I think is a (emphasis) horrible idea seeing as it’s crawling with the Allegiance… Stupid boy….
Chase: (worried) Do you think he’s trying to test me?
Viv: Cassie trusts you, he does too. You’re an excellent pilot, Chase don’t doubt that.
Chase: (Happily) Thank you Vivian. Alright, let’s get down to business.
----
Radmila: Ren.
Ren: Yes, my love? What can I do for you?
Radmila: Look at this signature. (pause for a moment as shuffling is heard) That’s The Princess’ signature. What the fuck are they doing here?
Ren: (Suavely with a hint of dark amusement) Preparing to die, no?
Radmila: (With a bit of hesitation) It would seem... that way…
Radmila: /Audio Notes: find a way to make this sound like it’s through a speaker, if possible/ (Loudly and authoritative) Captain of The Barbaric Princess, you and your crew are under arrest for piracy and murder!
Olu: (Confident and with sass) Sorry Captain Radmila Herry, you’d have to catch us for any of us to be under arrest.
Olu to Chase: Better hurry, Foster. If we're caught, we’re all dead.
Chase: Yes, Sir! All thruster to full capacity. Shields to stealth mode.
Vivian: (Authoritatively) Watch out for those debris in Field B-2, Chase!
Chase: I see it! Damn it, Damn it, they’re too close. Fuck! Olu: (Calmly with a hint of confidence) Chase… You’ve got this. I believe in you. Chase: Ah.. Yes, Sir. Alright, we’re going into the field. Viv: That’s Cra--
Olu: I trust him. Viv: Yes, Captain. Ren /speakery noise again/: (evil laughing) You’re not going to win. I will…. Eat you all alive. I will burn your brains out! I will flay the skin from your fucking bones. Your bones will decorate my halls.
Chase: I think…. She may be crazy and I don’t know about you… But I want nowhere near her.
Viv:  I agree and you need to go left!
Chase: I’m going left! Fuck, no, right! Viv: We have damage to the right side! Fuel is leaking!
Radmila: If you continue, you will die. Surrender. Chase: We will not give up our freedom, you murderer. I will never give control of my life or my family’s life to you… (gritted out in anger and sadness) Ever Again. So Fuck Off.
Olu: Chase, she’s right. I’ll go distract them long enough for you to fix the ship. Mom…. Viv: I will take care of them, Son. I promise. You just make sure you come back. Chase: Respectfully, Sir…. No. (Definitely) I will not let you go sacrifice yourself. I will not lose anyone. So sit down and stay here. I will fix the ship in no time.
Olu: Chase, I will come back. Chase: That’s what my parents said, too. Except, no one fucking comes back. So, fuck you, Olu. Sit. Down. Vivian: Chase…. You won’t have enough time… I don’t want this either. He is my son… but we don’t have much of a chance otherwise… Chase: (sobbing) Fuck… Olu: I’ll find a way back to you guys. No one can keep me from The Princess. (Quietly so the others can’t hear /with departing steps/) Nor from you, Chase….
______________
Olu /microphone filter/: Captian Herry. I am surrendering. You will give my crew an hour to themselves then you can board them. /drop microphone noise/ God… I hope Chase can do this in time if not in an hour we’re all dead. Ren to Radmila: He’s fucking lying. They’ll have their ship fixed by then. Radmila: Ren… Shut up…  /microphone filter/ Alright Paris. Get your ass over here. Ren: Are you serious? They’re going to get away. Again. Radmila: Without either of the Paris Captains.
Ren: (Suavely) They’ll still have a paris… Vivian.
Radmila: (snapping with a bit of a growl) She is not... a Paris… Ren. Ren: And (pausing a bit) you are?
Radmila: O-of course not! Ren: Exactly, because… (dangerously low) you’re mine, Radmila…
Radmila: (Trying to sound reassuring) E-exactly..
Ren: Now let’s go have fun with Captain Paris. (dark laughter).
Radmila: Of course, Dear. Olu: Well… This is… not what I thought it would look like. Ren: What did you think it’d look like? Olu: More evil lair… Less space hotel. Ren: (slightly crazed laughter) The Allegiance gets only the best. Olu: For stealing the lives and freedom of everyone. Even their own people! Have you ever made a decision on your own? Ren: I chose to love Radmila.
Olu: (sarcastic laughing) You don’t know what love is, Buewrid +pronounced Boo-rid+.
Ren: (growling in anger) I don’t know what love is? You insolent little, prick. I will fucking kill you! Radmila: Ren, my beautiful squid… Calm yourself. You know I love you. You love me and I know that. Please calm yourself.
Ren: (Breathing heavily.) I do know what love is… I would never, ever, ever, hurt you. I love you. I love you. I… love… you…
Radmila: (soothingly) I know, My Squid. I love you.
Ren: (settling) I want him taken to my Chamber.
Olu: (Cockily) I’d think you’d buy me a drink first, Squid Face.  
Radmila: Soon, dear, soon. We must wait the hour and capture the rest.  
______________
Chase: That stupid, stupid goat. If he dies…. Glaw: Chase, The Captain is smart. He won’t get himself in trouble. Chase: Glaw… What do you call what he’s in right now? Also, hand me that red one there.
Glaw: Here. I’d Call it a minor… inconvenience.
Chase: These are the people who killed my family, and not just my family! Glaw, you didn’t see it. So many orphans… so many people… Murdered for even thinking of freedom. Glaw: I know, Chase. Chase: And he’s done more than think of freedom. Glaw: I know, Chase, but this is The Captain. He wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t think he’d get out of it alive. Viv: Yes, he would have, if it meant we all got out of here alive. We’re lucky, though. He was caught by Captain Herry. She loves Cassandra and won’t kill on the principle that he’s her son. So, get this ship done. We will go get Cassie and then rescue his stupid ass. Chase: Alright (sniffles). I’ll have it done in five. Viv: Good, we’ll need you to pilot us out of here.
____________
Ren: Ah Olufunmilayo Jyoti Paris… I will have so much fun teaching you.
Olu: Squid, you’ve got nothing to teach me. I, on the other hand, can teach you a lot.
Ren: You could teach me about… Chase and Cassandra. Olu: (through gritted teeth) I will never tell you anything about them.
Ren: Oh? Are you sure? I can be very… convincing, little goat. (evil laughter) Olu: Fuck off, Squid. Ren: Where is the stupid human bitch? Olu: I Won’t- She’s in the- Fuck. Off. Ren: (More evil laughter) Oh, come on, Little Goat, play along.
Olu: Fuck off, you evil fucking squid. I will never fucking tell you.
Ren: Oh? You don’t have to speak…
Olu: (in mind) No, no, no, no ,no, no, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off. Fuck Off!
Ren: I will break you eventually.
________
Ngozi: Oh god, Chase, I just heard.
Chase: We’re getting him back.
Ngozi: What can I do?
Viv: Be ready to treat him when we get him back. I have no doubt that he’s… (Gritted teeth) being hurt… (deep breath then back to normal voice) for Cassandra’s location.
Chase: I can’t believe we let him do this.
Glaw: It was the only way, Chase….
Chase: I know… Let’s get going.
Ngozi: Chase…
Chase: Yeah, Zi...?
Ngozi: (Reassuringly) You’ll get him back. I believe in you. You’re strong and you are the most caring and smart person, I know. You can do anything.
Chase: Thank you, Zi.
__________
Radmila: No, Ren you are not going to kill him. End of Discussion. We need him.
Ren: (angrily) Why do we need him?
Radmila: He knows the planet’s that work with pirates. The Empress needs that.
Ren: Then let me torture it out of him.
Radmila: Not happening.
Ren: I want to have fun!!
Radmila: You would dare threaten to defy your captain, Ren? You would defy me, the person you love?
Ren: (pouting basically) Why do you want to deny my fun, Mila (drawn out in whinning)?
Radmila: You don’t need to break our gift for the Empress, My Squid.
Ren: (huffs) Fine.
______________
Viv: We’re in the right system, Chase.
Chase: I know. Just… I’m worried about him.
Viv: I think we all are, Chase.
Chase: That’s the planet, yes?
Viv: Yes, that’s home… Varnu. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?
Chase: You’re homesick, aren’t you?
Viv: Yes, but Cassie’s really my home. Let’s go get her and then Olu.
Chase: Yes.
Narrator: Varnu is a simple earth-like planet if you’ve never been to earth. If you have… Well, Varnu is nothing like Earth. It’s run by retired pirates who make sure everyone is treated fairly and outside of the tyrant rule of The Allegiance Military. My favorite part is the mountains made of Blue Granite. They shine like the oceans of Earth. Varnu’s waters are black. Everything is different and, oh, so wonderful.  
Viv: The valley between those two mountains up ahead is where we live.
Chase: Alright. ( A bit teasing and fondly) Let’s get you home to the wife.
Viv: (stifled laughter) Don’t let her hear you call her that. She hates that. Something about marriage being an enforced thing by The Allegiance.
Chase: Alright, makes sense, though it was originally human.
Viv: But it’s been enforced by The Allegiance.
Narrator: The building in which Cassandra had made her home was made of a rich blue stone that allowed light to bounce off it in the most blindingly  beautiful way. The whole crew of The Barbaric Princess stood in front of the structure for what seemed like forever. Most had never seen anything like it. It was like water, seeming to move while not moving at all. It was… Incredible.
Cassie: So are you just going to gawk all day or come inside, my love?
Viv: (breathless) Cassandra… Oh god, how I’ve missed you…
Cassie: As have I, my love. You can’t believe how my heart feels to have you in my arms again.
Viv: (with a hint of amusement and laughter) I think I have a clue.
Cassie: Now, where is that foolish son of ours?
Viv: Cas… (voice breaks) Herry, has…. She has him…
Cassie: Wh-what do you mean? Oh god, how? What happened?
Viv: The ship got damaged in a debris field and they were right on us. We didn’t have the time to fix it.
Chase: He… (voice breaking) gave himself up so I could fix it…
Cassie: That… That sounds like him. We need to go get him. Oh god… Why did I ever leave? If I hadn’t…
Viv: Love, this is not your fault. He would have done it either way. We both know that. We will get him back. (Pause) I promise.
___________
Olu: Radmila, nice to see you again. I thought I was going to be stuck with Squid Face forever. (Sarcastic) You’ll be more fun to hang out with, won’t you, Captain?
Radmila: (Completely disregarding Olu) Ren, darling, would you give me some time alone with the prisoner?
Ren: (reluctantly) Yes, of course, Dear.
Radmila: Now, dear Olufunmilayo… You are going to tell me where I can find my darling Cassandra or things will stop being… fun for you.
Olu: You may as well get on with it then because I will never tell you where my mother is.
Radmila: (Evil Laughter) Oh precious child… It’s funny you think you can withhold her location from me. I may not have let Ren leave a mark on you, but I can leave whatever marks on you I wish too. You belong to me now; (Pause) just as Cassandra will.
Olu: I think you may be insane. There's a cure for that, you know...
Radmila: (more laughter) Pray tell... what is this miracle cure for my ‘insanity’?
Olu: (Serious, all hints of humor gone.) Death.
Ramila: (crazed laughter) Only one of us shall be dying today, boy.
_________________
Cassie: So we last saw them in the Spara quadrant? My guess is they haven’t gone far.
Viv: They are probably setting a trap. Radmila is obsessed with you after all.
Cassie: (with a hint of pity) She lost her mind. You know I tried to get her to come with me. She wouldn’t though because the goddamn military.
Viv: They’ve broken so many people. The Empress is good at making them feel they’re doing good things.
Cassie: I know. I’m so glad I escaped even if it was too late…
Chase: Captain, I don’t blame you. I haven’t in years. I know you weren’t yourself. It was them.
Cassie: (heavy sigh.) Let’s go get Olu.
Narrator: The Spara quadrant has a total of three solar systems; Spara EE1, Spara EE113, Spara EE449. Each solar system is under the control of The Allegiance. Spara EE1 has been on the forefront of The War For Freedom. Slowly, riots have sprung up through all three systems, ending with a rise in the military personnel stationed within. Punishments have rose from jail time to death for most crimes. Space has been littered with hundreds of thousands of corpses. Debris fields made purely of bodies is not uncommon in the quadrant.  Populations struggle due to the constant execution.
Chase: I honestly hoped I’d never be back here… ‘Fields of Sorrow’…. We call them… My parents and brother are out there somewhere…
Viv: I’m sorry, Chase, but this isn’t a time to lose ourselves. We have to keep our minds on saving Olu.
Cassie: (softly) Viv, let him have this… It can’t be easy to be going through this again.
Viv: You’re right.
Ngozi: Chase… Why don’t you let someone else pilot and we can go get ready to kick some Allegiance butt?
Chase: Captain?
Cassie: Of course, Chase. I can pilot rather well, after all.
______
Ngozi: We won’t stand by this time and watch our families die.
Chase: (determined) No we won’t.
Ngozi: Olu is strong, no matter what happens he will come to us.
Chase: I know, let’s just grab what we need.
Murphy: Ah there you are Chase. The Captain told me that it would be the three of us plus Vivian. We’re the strike team!
Ngozi: I think you mean stealth team, Murph.
Murphy: Nope. I’m going to kill as many as these shits as I can.
Ngozi: I think the mission is to rescue people not kill people, Murphy.
Murphy: (Cheerily) I can do both! Didn’t you know?
Ngozi: (sighs with a chuckle) One of these days, Murph, you are going to get us killed. Let’s just not let that be today.
Murphy: (Pouting) None of you are any fun!
________
Cassie: Vivian, be careful, okay? I can’t lose you.
Viv: Cassandra, you worry too much. I know you wanted to go but Radmila is too crazy. I won’t risk you.
Cassie: So I have to risk both of you?
Viv: We’ve done alright for the past six months, Cas.
Cassie: (Sighing) I know, that’s why I’m staying here, plus Chase needs this more than I do.
Viv: I think you're right about that. I feel bad for bringing him back here but this is the heart of the rebellion. We need to be here.
Cassie: I might stay… I think the universe still needs me.
Viv: I don’t know if the universe needs anyone, but I know the crew would love to have you back.
Cassie: (teasingly) What about you, Dear Vivian? Would you love to have me back?
Viv: (soft laughter) I don’t know… I’d have to share the bed again and I’m not sure if I’d be willing to do that.
Cassie: Oh that’s just mean, Viv. (sniffles) I’m hurt.
Viv: You are such a drama queen. Of course, I’d love to have you back. (Lovingly) It would be my only wish to have you back with me, Cassandra.
Cassie: I love you, Vivian, so make sure you come back and bring our son back too.
Viv: I will. (Softly) I love you too. Be ready.
________
Cassie: (Over the intercom) Alright, I have The Carnation in sight. I need you guys suited up and ready to go in five.
Chase: Yes, Captain. (determined) We will get Olu back!
Ngozi: What Chase said, Captain.
Murphy: We’re ready to go kick some Allegiance ass!!
Viv: Alright, let’s go get my son back!
___________
Narrator: Space is cold and barren. Yet, for some reason, seeing a Knazz moving freely through space is a powerful thing. They move with such blinding speed and ease that shouldn't be possible yet somehow it is. Every time Chase sees Ngozi in space it’s like seeing it again for the very first time. Chase watches Ngozi’s face light up in spite of everything going on, watches as he does trick after trick. It even brings a smile to him face and calms him a bit.
Viv: Watch out for the bodies, Ngozi. Chase, find the panels that will open this stupid door.
Chase: On it!
Murphy: Chase, is this the panel?
Chase: Yeah! You may have a hand for mechanic work, Murph! Can you hand me the gear I had you pack?
Murphy: Here.
*swooshing noises*
Radmila: /distant/ (Laughing) You could have just knocked if you wanted in. Come on in.
Vivian: Ah, Radmila, it’s nice to finally meet Cassandra’s ex.
Radmila: (angrily) I will have her heart and I will have your head, (pause and then evil laughter) just like I have your son’s.
Vivian: You and I both know you will never have her back and you would never risk Cassandra never forgiving you for hurting him. So just give him back and we’ll leave.
Radmila: (more laughter) You think I wouldn’t kill that pathetic demon? (Pause) Hilarious.
Chase: Wow… Radmila, I knew you had gone insane but to go as far as threatening the most important people to the person you claim to ‘love’.... That’s low even for you.
Radmila: Insolent child…. (Yelling basically) I raised you and you dare to speak to me in that way?! Did your punishments teach you nothing?
Ngozi: (Slowly and low voice) You will… Never… Touch Him… Ever again.
Chase: You only raised me because you killed my family. Now give him back and I won’t tell Cassandra that you threatened her family. I’ll tell her you aren’t all the way gone; that you can be saved.
Radmila: I…. (Stunned silence before gathering herself)  Why should I even believe you? After all I’ve done why would you help me?
Chase: Because Olu is part of my family. I would do anything for any of these people.
Radmila: Tell her… and you can have him… But I get to keep Vivian.
Chase: Not going to happen. We all leave or I will tell her that no can save you!
Viv: Chase.. I will go if it means Olu gets to leave.
Ngozi: No, Chase is right. We all leave or she loses Cassandra’s faith.
Murphy: Or I could just kill her… Might help the resistance!
Chase: No. No killing.
Radmila: Fine, but you need to take him and go. Leave Spara and don’t come back.
Vivian: Just give me my son!
___________
Cassandra: (happy worriedness) Olu, son, are you okay? Come here let me see you.
Olu: Mom, I’m fine. Mom already looked over me, as did Ngozi. Just bruises and cuts. I’ll be fine.
Cassie: Good. Now…. Why are you so stupid?
Olu: Not like I had a choice, Mom.
Cassie: (Huff) I know. I missed you, Orange Juice.
Olu: (Chuckles) Been awhile since you called me that. I missed you too, Mom. When do you have to go back home?
Cassie: I don’t think I’m going too. Not till Radmila is taken care of. I’m not going to risk either of you again.
Olu: I’m glad you’re staying. I think the resistance and The Princess could use your guidance again.
Cassie: We will free everyone together, (pause) as a family.
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hoseokutie · 6 years
Text
Market Boy pt.2
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Part 1
Words:
Warnings: Eating squid, Super Fluffy!Jungkook, Kissing 
                           ____________________
Jungkook was currently in his shared apartment with his brother, he was currently getting ready for his date tonight.
"Hey do I look okay? Is it too much or too little?" He asked his older brother.
"I think you're freaking out way too much and definitely need to chill the heck out. You said it yourself that she's not the person to care about appearance so who cares?" he asked ruffling his fluffy hair.
"Yeah I guess you're right. By the way can I borrow some money? I don't get paid until the end of the week. Please I'll cover one of your shifts with no back talk" Jungkook begged him.
"Yeah, but don't spend it like a dumb ass okay? Buy her dinner and dessert and maybe buy her a cute bracelet or something, I don't know what you kids are into." He says handing him $50.
"Hyung this is perfect. Thank you so much for everything. I love you so much." Jungkook gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek.
"Ew stop, get the hell out of here you weirdo" he said gently slapping the younger boy's face.
"I'll see you when I get back!" Jungkook announced as he left the house and began his walk to the market.
On the other side of town, you were also getting ready for your tonight. You did a double take before leaving your apartment, and making your way to the market. You also decided to walk there since it's not that far.
You stood by your shop as you waited for Jungkook to arrive. In all honesty you forgot what time he said he wanted to meet up, so you decided to stand there and wait for him.
"Hey Y/N! You're here a few minutes early" he commented and you checked the time on your phone.
"I guess I am a little early, huh?" You mentioned as you looked back at him in slight embarrassment.
"Let me guess, you forgot what time we were supposed to meet, so you decided to just wait here?" he asked.
"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't" You said crossing your arms.
"Okay yeah I did, you caught me, I'm guilty" You confessed chuckling a little.
"That's okay, you said it yourself that you weren't the best when it came to timing things." He nudged your shoulder.
You gently hit his arm and held his hand in yours.
"I don't know about you, but I'm pretty hungry and excited for some seafood." You told him as you began to swing your hands back and forth.
"Well then let's go get some food shall we?" He asked enthusiastically.
You let him lead the way to the seafood restaurant located in the back of the market.
"Oh look, it's the love birds of this place. We were wondering when you guys were coming to see us!" Stephen, the owner of the restaurant, exclaimed when he saw you and Jungkook walk inside.
"How did you know we were gonna be here tonight?" You asked walking over to a table and sitting down across from Jungkook.
"Jungkook's mother told me that you guys would pay us a visit, and that I needed to take good care of you and watch out for you" he said and you frowned.
"Does his mom not trust me?" you asked slightly offended.
"No, she trust you. It the little Kookie monster across from you that she doesn't trust." he commented and you laughed loudly and covered your mouth.
"What! I'm innocent and have done nothing wrong in at least a week!" he said crossing his arms.
"You are so cute when you're upset Kookie." You told him to try and tease him.
"Yeah, but you're cute all the time."He raised an eyebrow at you.
"Someone is feeling flirty I see." You raised an eyebrow back at him.
"I can't help it when I have a beautiful woman sitting right in front of me."
This boy is trying to kill me, you thought to yourself.
"What do you cutie pies want to drink?" Miranda, Stephen's wife, asked the two of you.
"I'll have a mango lemonade" You said smiling up at her.
"And I'll have a beer" Jungkook said full of confidence.
"I need to see your ID" she said smirking at him.
"On second thought, I think I will have coca-cola" he said smiling up at her.
"Smart choice" she said walking to the back.
"Trust me, beer isn't that good anyway" You told him looking at the different food items on the menu.
"I forget that you're older than me sometimes. How does it feel to be twenty-two years old?" he asked and you simply shrugged your shoulders.
"I'm older than I was last year, and I'm still the same old girl, so I feel the same. Nothing to be excited about" You told him honestly.
"And what can I get you two to eat?" she asked.
Jungkook perked up at the mention of food.
"Can I get the salmon sashimi and the tempura sushi please with lots of wasabi. Oh! And the white radish please on the side. I like the crunch" He smiled over at you waiting for you to order.
You looked at him in surprise. The only remotely Japanese food you knew about was fried calamari. Grabbing the menu you did your best.
"I uh. Can I get the shrimp o-ni-gi-ri and um the California Roll please" You closed the menu looking away from the both of them knowing you sounded like a complete fool.
Jungkook tilted his head looking at you confused.
Why is she so reclusive all of a sudden? Did I do something? He thought to himself in compete and utter confusion.
"If it helps I thought your pronunciation was kind of cute" he told you and you smiled while still covering your face in embarrassment.
"Oh come on, show me that pretty face that I've been waiting to see. I've wanted to take you on a date for months and now and you're covering your beautiful face. It makes me sad" he leaned over and moved your hands from your face.
"There you are" he mumbled looking at you with a look that you have never seen before.
"You are so beautiful to me." he said sitting back in his chair.
"Oh please, I'm sure the girls back home are a lot cuter than me" You told him as you sipped my lemonade.
"I mean, not to sound like an asshole or anything, but for the time that I was in Korea none of the girls there caught my eye like you did when I first saw you." He confessed and you nearly choked on your ice.
"Jungkook wow I um. I'm flattered. I don't know what to say. I've never had someone say such nice things like that to me before." You simply chuckled and played with your nails.
It's an annoying habit of yours that you have been waiting to die out for a while.
"You don't have to say anything until the end of our date." he said and you raised an eyebrow up at him in confusion.
"What does that mean?" You questioned.
"You shall see cutie pie. Look at that our food is here!" he announced as Stephen and Miranda brought you both some more food and refills for your almost empty glasses.
"This looks absolutely amazing!" You commented a little too loudly.
Luckily for you and Jungkook the restaurant was empty, well except for Jungkook, Stephen, Miranda and, well of course you. Which is oddly strange considering the fact that this place doesn't close until 9:00 and it's only 7:20.
"Do you want to try the tempura sushi?" he asked holding it up to you.
"I don't know, I'm not a big fan of wasabi" You told him and he frowned.
"Please for me? Just a tiny little bite. You won't regret it, I promise!"
Damn this boy really knows how to be convincing.
"Alright fine, just for you Jungkook." You leaned over and bit into the food and was actually surprised at the taste.
"Wow that's really- Jesus Christ that's spicy!" You exclaimed quickly drinking half of your lemonade again.
"I know and that's what makes it great!" he said smiling as he stuffed two pieces into his mouth.
"Jungkook I'm calling the police and telling them you tried to murder me." You jokingly mumbled fanning your mouth reaching for one of your own wasabi free sushi rolls.
"Well I'll just tell them that you attacked me first with your good looks!" he retorted back.
You threw a napkin at him and playfully crossed your arms in defeat. You don't know who this boy learned to flirt from, but damn he's good.
"You can't beat me no matter how hard you try Y/N, I'm always six steps ahead of you"
"I'll say two steps ahead. Six steps is taking it a little too far."
You said as you stole some of his salmon sashimi.
"It's juicy isn't it?" He questioned looking at you with hooded eyes smirking slightly taking another bite of his tempura.
"Jungkook I want to go home." You said jokingly.
"Alright, so then you're paying for the bill?" he asked grabbing his jacket and you swear that it took about seven angels to hold you back.
"No, I'm just kidding. Please don't hit me." he reached over and held your smaller hand and you playfully rolled your eyes.
"Very funny Jeon, very funny. You almost had me there" You said pointing your chopstick at him.
"Hypothetically though, if I did just so happen to lose my brothers money that he gave me, what would you do?" he asked and you got nervous again, once again you pray to Jesus almighty above that this better be another one of his silly tricks.
"Well obviously I would pay for the bill and have you take me on two more dates until I feel better." You answered and he pulled out the money smiling widely.
"Well thank God I didn't lose it" he chuckled and you shook my head.
Suddenly Stephen walked over with a bowl of something.
"Stephen why is something moving in that bowl?" You asked moving to the other side of the table behind Jungkook.
Before Stephen could answer Jungkook rushed over closer to the bowl pulling you along with him.
"Ojing-eo!" I haven't eaten this since my 13th birthday party. My dad had fished it up for me." He smiled fondly at the memory and took his chopsticks taking the squirming tentacles out putting a dollop of wasabi on it before stuffing it in his mouth.
"It still tastes amazing"
You didn't even know what to say or do. Stephen chuckled nervously scratching the back of his neck.
"You two have a good night"
He grabbed the bowl and turned on his heel walking back to the kitchen.
"Did I do something wrong?" Jungkook asked looking at me as he sucked up the rest of the tentacle into his mouth.
"Not necessarily, but I will say I also wasn't expecting to see that." You said trying to hold in your laugh.
"Do you want to try this?" He asked holding the tentacle up to you.
You stared at it as it moved before looking back at him and shaking your head.
"I would like to politely decline your offer if that's okay with you." You said picking up some more of your own food before eating it.
"I'm sorry, that was kind of gross wasn't it?" He blushed in embarrassment and looked down.
"Not gross, because it's a cultural thing, but very different. But if you enjoy it then who am I to judge." You smiled at him and wiped the side of his face with a napkin.
"Yeah, we are definitely going on another date in the future. You are perfect holy crap." He said.
All you could do was chuckle and nod in agreement.
Once the dinner was over, Jungkook paid Stephen, and the two of you left the restaurant.
"What do you want to do now?" He asked, taking your hand into his.
"Well it's not too late to get dessert." You guys stopped in the middle of the market and just held hands.
"I've got the perfect dessert right here in front of me." He said looking down at you.
You both went silent before you both burst into laughter.
"Yeah that was cringy and I apologize." He shook his head and sighed loudly.
"I'm the worst."
You took this as an opportunity to lean in and place your lips onto his waiting for a reaction from him. You relaxed when he wrapped his arms around you and kissed back slowly pulling you closer to him. The owners of the restaurant clapped behind you two and you pulled away from his lips and giggled.
"You got your salty tears in my mouth!" you exclaimed and he smirked at you
"Jungkook if you say anything remotely pervy I will slap you and not look back" you warned him pointing at him.
He just shrugged and leaned in this time taking the initiative to kiss you slowly gliding his tongue across your lower lip.
"Alright Jungkook that's enough! I know who your mother is and she would not be proud of you right now!" Stephen said and Jungkook kissed your lips again before pulling away but still holding you close to his chest.
"I had a lot of fun tonight Jungkook, I really did." you mumbled rubbing his cheek with your thumb.
"Good, because I planned on taking you out again this week, if it's okay with you." he said rubbing your back and you nodded your head.
Suddenly Thinking Out Loud  started playing and you two looked over to see Stephen and Miranda dancing in the middle of their shop. Jungkook stood back and bowed in front of you.
"Can I have this dance with a beautiful lady such as yourself?" He asked you and you curtsied him.
"Yes sir you may" you granted him permission and he walked back over and held your right hand in his and placed his left hand on your lower back.
"Tonight is truly like a fairy tale" you said
"The only thing we're missing is fireworks." he said and you both jumped at the sound of fireworks.
"Well what do you know?" He said and you both looked outside.
"Oh hey guys!" Namjoon, your neighbor, said waving at you guys from the outside of his shop
"Hey Namjoon" you and Jungkook said chuckling as you both looked at each other and finished the night with more dancing and kisses.
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rhuemis · 6 years
Note
13
13. Introduce your current party.
hoo boy so we got: 
-Scales
-Rhys
-Jeckyl
-Isiah
imma put the lengthy descriptions under a read more aha
Scales ((I dont think Scales even has a surname lmfao)):
-Warlock but insists that hes the party medic
-A white dragonborn that was born without scales due to a birth defect who has more than a few screws lose, calls himself a ‘doctor’ and we cant quite tell whether thats the truth or not
-Grew up in a brothel and now travels with the party to gain ‘medical knowledge’ whatever that means
-Has dissected the corpse of a literal god, harvests organs from whatever we kill and puts them all into bottles and then offers to transplant them into you if you get even remotely injured 
-Is already mildly possessed but then ate some of the tentacles from a weird squid god for fun and then got DOUBLE possessed and tentacles shot out of his mouth and we had to drag him to a temple 
-Something burst out of his chest one morning and now its his familiar. We were all stood at the door to his room like ‘This is Scales, this could just be part of his morning routine for all we know.’
- Speaks with a heavy German accent which makes anything Scales does like 4000 times better
-Isiah has literally promised his corpse to Scales
- Despite his quirks is protective of his party and deserves a pat on the snoot every so often
 Rhys Lignius
- Half-elf sorcerer that currently has more levels in warlock than sorcerer
- hes the mom friend of the group and is a pretty serious guy, hes the one who gets shit done but not before he monologues so hard that the rest of us party members say ‘oh fuck no im not listening to Rhys’ spiel again’
-Came from a very important family and is very proud of his Latian heritage, doesnt let you forget that hes a big fuckin deal lmao hes on a mission to do something in relation to his father but hes not quite spilled on exactly what yet, hes just trying to get to some ancient ruins
- Is so much of an actual loser that whenever he casts Prestidigitation he clicks his fingers and the whole party has started doing it back at him jokingly
-Despite being a square we all love him and hes probably the most reliable in the group. Lawful Good™.
-Flavours my bacon.
-Is the metaphorical designated driver of the party, cleans up after us shit monkeys.
-Is physically around 22 years old but might as well be 55 years old.
Jeckyl Corvus:
- Newest party member, a half-elf rogue that keeps getting cockblocked from actually stealing anything
-Wrote a really intense anonymous love letter to my character and slid it under his room door at a tavern a few years before the campaign started after watching him perform and recognises Isiah but Isiah doesnt realise it was him who wrote the letter yet
-Spent some time in gay baby jail for being part of a group of thieves that got bamboozled by a rich and powerful family and was abandoned by the people he thought of as family.
-Wanted to be a tailor in the years before his taste for adventuring kicked him in the nards. He ended leaving his family to go and explore but this decision ultimately ended up with his family being stripped of everything they had so now hes plagued by The Guilt™. Wants to eventually save/steal enough money to get his family back on it’s feet again.
-Rugged and handsome but the most important thing you need to know about Jeckyl is that he keeps a pet mouse in his pocket named Rupert and that one day Jeckyl wants to fucking transmute him into an owl or some shit because he just cannot be satisfied huh. ‘Oh Rupert was my only friend whilst I was living on the streets blah blah blah’ yeah sure tell that to his face whilst you go fuckin Fullmetal Alchemist on his ass. Love Rupert for the contents of his character, not his form smh.
-Acts suave and cool but loses all of that composure when it comes to Isiah. Would probably commit sepukku if Isiah died. 
-Has a lot of knives, which Scales finds ‘respectable’. 
-First combat fuckin crits the fish plant man that had Isiah grappled 15ft underwater out of sheer gay panic. RIP Shape of Water fish man, you’ll be sorely missed.
Isiah Vakalyn:
-My character so you know hes....really something. Half-elf bard.
-Comes from a weirdly strict family who were actually fucking cultists and were ((and probably still are)) planning on sacrificing him to a demon or some shit but Isiah didnt even notice this shit and still has no idea. He thought everybody was taught Infernal and that families were just like that. His family told him to become a bard and he obeyed. They told him study and he obeyed. They limited his interaction to the outside world and he only really started thinking for himself after he made his first proper friend who then also later fucked him over real bad.
-Ran away from home after being cucked by his “only friend” into maybe murdering her dad we dunno if he died or not but I sure did stab him a lot. She lied and told him she was being abused by her dad and Isiah saw red and agreed to her murder plot only to be abandoned midway through. He also pickpocketed for her for like a year beforehand bc she said she was poor. She was very not poor. Bring on the subsequent trust issues.
-Is a bard but hates getting attention so he wears a black rabbit mask when he performs in front anything that isnt a small crowd. He found that mask in his house so you know thats gonna be some spooky cult shit.
- Is only 5′4 and is very conscious of it. Luckily the party is very understanding and calls him ‘the halfling’ or ‘the midget’ lovingly to watch him implode.
-Once accidentally stole a dwarven baby. Named it Isiah jr.
-Has a pet eel named Illius who is the most fuckin talented eel you’ll ever find. He glows! He talks! He beats your ass at card games! Translates languages! We found him behind a door that was sealed by magic and was only opened after Isiah played the music notes on the map we found. Those notes were an exert of a song by the most famous of all bards, Rickus Astelyus. Lo and behold behind the door was a huge tanks with a heckin good boy inside and Isiah adopted him IMMEDIATELY. Loves bacon bits and scritches.
-Received an anonymous love letter a few years back that gives him major anxiety and literally avoids the city he got it from. RIP Jeckyl youre gonna have to talk to him about that, Isiah is oblivious and has no idea lmao.
- Loves to eat bacon and recently bought out the bacon from the local tavern. Feeds some to Illius because its what he deserves. He’s also currently carrying a fuckton of bread, cheese, jam, and flour. Food is practically his way of diplomacy as he gives some to whoever he meets. It’s almost like his way of nervous self-defence. When tentacles shot out of Scale’s mouth Isiah just started shovelling bread into the tentacles and Scales woke up feeling incredibly full lmao.
-Has also in his inventory: a gay erotica book, a romance novel in a language he cant read, a rainbow slinkie, a magic mood ring that gives him poison resistance, 6 wolf teeth, a wolf leg bone, some gems, 4 days worth of rations on top of all the food he already has, a violin, a flute, and a fancy lute that he found in Illius’ chamber.
-Hes just nervous but loud mouthed and contradicts himself a lot. Anxious and eccentric. Says that hes just a bard and wasnt meant for any kind of greater scheme but the universe has other plans.
-Was once dabbed at by the god of entertainment, Apollon. ((Apollon is the only god Isiah really cares about lmao)).
and despite him not being in the party anymore im gonna give honorary mention to my favourite skyrim-glitch-of-a-barbarian, Florys:
-Was the character of a guy who played with us for one session. At the beginning of the next session he was on webcam with us all and we were about to start playing when suddenly his camera cut out and he went offline and weve literally not seen from him since. He’s not been online in over a month now. Some common theories in our group is that hes off fighting ISIS or got arrested for weed right there and then.
-Due to this weird player disappearance our DM, Benjamin, had to take control of Florys whilst we looked for a new party member. In the session that the player disappeared from we didnt know if he was gonna come back or not so Benjamin had Florys suddenly contract a horrific stomach bug and was just in the tavern toilet presumably making a fuckin hole in the floor with the noise it apparently made lmfao Isiah actually had to try and play music over the top of Florys’ shitfest at one point and only just managed to drown the sound out. But as time went by days were eventually passing in the campaign and the player still hadnt come back so poor Florys was not having a great time in the bathroom for several DAYS.
-Eventually the DM realised that this player was not gonna come back and that the party was short on a tank so he started piloting Florys for a while to accompany us on our quest ((and miraculously recovering from his terrifying stomach illness)) but hed forgotten how the player said Florys was so just was making shit up on the fly. I specifically remember the original player of Florys saying ‘Oh Florys isn’t like those stereotypical dumb barbarians’ which is why I lost my shit when the Florys being piloted by the DM turned around and said ‘What the fuck is a triangle?’ ... Florys is practically brain-damaged at this point, I think it might be the DMs retribution for the player disappearing lmao
-Threw all of his hand axes into a river during one fight and then into a cieling the next, which provoked Isiah to jokingly call out: ‘Oh, Florys! You’re so handsome and cool!’ which Florys with his last 2 braincells took seriously. The handsome and cool line became an on-running meme and gets used whenever any of us fucks up lmao
-For some reason grew rlly attached to a piano he found in Illius’ chamber and carried it around with him out of two parts stubborness two parts piano LUST.
-We ended up using him as a mule to carry all of our heavy shit bc he’d just do it and he literally wouldn’t think anything of it.
-We found a giant birds nest and Florys for some reason picked it up and carried it away and got fucking kidnapped by a giant bird so now hes literally just in fucking sky somewhere sat in a birds nest and being flown around which is wild bc we expected the DM to just kill Florys but instead hes just in the fucking sky where he belongs. Like legit hes just sat in there. Hes just in the sky. Godspeed.
HEAVES I could write so much more but this is already incredibly lengthy so here take it
also @redthebattler idk if any of this would be interesting to you lmao
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f4liveblogarchives · 6 years
Text
Fantastic Four Vol. 1 #97
Sun March 18 2018 [15:32:14] <Wackd> BEEEEAAAACH EEEEEPIIIIISOOOOODE!!!
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[15:33:09] <Wackd> oh it's not a beach episode [15:33:12] <Wackd> just a cool cover :( [15:33:29] <maxwellelvis> And an odious tradition begins... [15:33:30] <Inbarfink> Boooooooo! [15:33:47] <Wackd> They WERE vacationing by a beach [15:34:25] <Wackd> But the story starts in media res, after their vacation has been interrupted by the Navy asking them to investigate sinkings in Lost Lagoon [15:34:35] <maxwellelvis> I take it Ms Harkness would not be joining them in that vacation [15:34:50] <Wackd> It's vampires that burn in sunlight, not witches! [15:35:02] <maxwellelvis> I know [15:35:07] <Wackd> Also so hey, uh. [15:35:23] <Wackd> Maybe if you didn't want ships to disappear here ya shouldn't have called it Lost Lagoon. [15:36:16] <maxwellelvis> Yeah [15:36:34] <Wackd> So, Reed, Johnny, and Ben (no Sue I guess) are attacked in their vessel by a killer whale. They suspect it might be Namor for a hot second, but then realize he'd probably just show up and start punching them, which checks out. [15:37:04] <Wackd> Ben thinks the whale mighta caused the sinkings, but it turns out that many of the survivors have reported sightings of "a monster in human form". [15:38:11] <Wackd> Also, apparently Tony Stark designed this submarine. Which is weird, right? With the exception of that one thing they got from T'Challa, I kinda figured the implication was that Reed built all their weird vehicles. [15:38:36] <Wackd> I can't imagine Tony sitting down and going "hm, you know, robot suits are cool, but I could *really* do with a submarine." [15:38:44] <Duraz> are they trying to keep people in their specialties? [15:38:53] <Duraz> I mean, they're usually bad at that [15:39:01] <Inbarfink> Does Reed have a specialty? [15:39:16] <Inbarfink> I thought he was a scientist, that studies science [15:39:27] <Duraz> my take would have been, like, particle physics [15:39:34] <Wackd> Transport kinda IS Reed's specialty! Like, he investigates deep space and microverses and negative zones, and then build things that take his team there. [15:40:13] <Wackd> Insofar as he's been confined to a field--and I'm not saying he's never dipped into other fields, especially when un-Thinging Ben is concerned--exploration has been it. [15:40:26] <Duraz> true enough [15:40:38] <maxwellelvis> I think, iirc, the last few times they went underwater, transport was provided for them, and I guess Reed never thought to build a submarine. [15:41:33] <Wackd> Man, I know we've already got Namor and all that stuff, but I would dig an arc where the Four had a deep-sea exploration and found, like, really bizarre shit down there. [15:42:04] <Wackd> I think people underestimate how much of the ocean floor we've actually covered, and just because Atlantis exists in Marvel doesn't mean that Atlantis is on the same level as giant squids or whatever. [15:42:35] <Duraz> reminds me of a time when I was playing Ultimate Alliance with a friend who doesn't read comics [15:42:49] <Duraz> "Looks like we're going to Atlantis," I said.  "Okay.  Awesome!" he replied. [15:43:14] <maxwellelvis> "Oh fuck," I think. As I recall that being the worst level in that game. [15:43:44] <Wackd> 1. Johnny, it's okay to be emotional. 2. oh my god that righthand panel is fantastic on so many levels
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[15:44:46] <maxwellelvis> Strong men also cry, Johnny. Strong men also cry. [15:46:38] <Wackd> Admittedly, I don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of the first 100 issues, especially since I read many of them back in 2016. But this take on Johnny as a lady magnet feels new to me. If nothing else, it's leaning into him as the "youth culture" member of the team more than we've done in a damn long while.
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[15:47:19] <maxwellelvis> It's been part of his character in Spider-Man, at least. [15:47:30] <maxwellelvis> As part of the contrasting between Johnny and Peter. [15:47:46] <Wackd> Makes sense. Has he been a regular over there? [15:48:15] <Wackd> (I mean, Spider-Man as a book also has a lot more time for civilians than Fantastic Four tends to, Alicia excepted.) [15:50:26] <maxwellelvis> Wackd: He pops up every now and then [15:50:57] <maxwellelvis> In the early years, mostly to be everything Peter wishes he could be: [15:51:13] <maxwellelvis> Cool, confident, popular, a hit with the ladies, beloved by the public, etc [15:51:37] <Wackd> I like that Reed just sort of assumes that his being around isn't a prerequisite for Sue to enjoy herself, as though on some subconscious level he knows how shitty he is.
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[15:53:34] <Wackd> SO! Turns out the monster has some sort of chemical that can change him into a human being (or vice versa?) He's currently "undercover" as a dolphin trainer at an aquarium. [15:54:38] <Wackd> I like that Reed immediately cracking the plot is depicted here not as him being incredibly smart, but as him being a workaholic who's reaction to a fun trip to the aquarium is "what if the dolphin trainer is a villain?"
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[15:55:11] <Wackd> (Also, uh, can you sit on dolphins like that without hurting them? That seems wrong.) [15:55:47] <Duraz> I guess they ought to be able to take a lot of pressure [15:56:35] <Wackd> PROBABLY not this much pressure, though, right?
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[15:57:09] <Wackd> I feel like you PROBABLY can't toss a pilot whale INTO A WALL without something going horribly wrong somewhere. [15:58:47] <Wackd> The whale lives! (But Ben won't enjoy it.)
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[15:59:57] <Wackd> So! It turns out our baddie can't speak in human form. (Possibly also in monster form?) I didn't notice, because villains having an ongoing internal monologue is par for the course at this point, but huh, yeah. This guy hasn't said a word so far. [16:01:16] <Wackd> (In an earlier panel, Ben jokes about him being "a real chatterbox." Because the baddie hadn't had a chance to say anything yet, I assumed Ben was making a joke about Reed not being able to shut up, but nah, he's making jokes about a guy he just met not talking, cool) [16:02:07] <Wackd> Indeed, as our baddie volunteers to lead Reed, Ben, and Johnny on a deep-sea expedition, it is CONSISTENTLY pointed out that he can't talk, with Reed finding it odd. [16:02:16] <Wackd> Does...does Stan not know mute people exist? [16:02:49] <Wackd> Like sure, it's not like this guy is using sign language or writing things down--he doesn't even seem to use body language, which makes me wonder how it was determined he wanted to tag along. [16:03:48] <Wackd> Anyway. Ben determines the baddie has led them into a bog, and that it'd be difficult for them to maneuver out, like he's trying to get us stuck down here with no way out!" [16:04:19] <Wackd> So this story is basically about our heroes assuming some rando is a villain because he doesn't speak and is too good at doing dolphin shows for tourists, and being validated in that belief. Cool. [16:05:59] <Wackd> The baddie busts up their submarine, and only Ben can hold his breath long enough to save Reed and Johnny. All the while thinking about how his life is worthless compared to theirs. [16:06:12] <Wackd> Ben: capable of hating himself while saving people from drowning. [16:07:56] <Duraz> hmm, whales were able to ram wooden ships, but still... [16:08:21] <Wackd> So, Ben fights the monster, then Johnny and Reed wake up, and then all three fight the monster. Fight fight fight. The monster makes a retreat. [16:08:33] <Wackd> Monster design, by the way? Real boring. Basically just a Creature from the Black Lagoon ripoff. [16:09:05] <Inbarfink> So when will Johnny start banging the monster? [16:09:13] <Wackd> pffffffffffft [16:09:49] <Wackd> So Ben's solution to having lost track of the monster is to just. Punch the walls of the cave they're in so all the walls collapse and the monster will have nowhere to hide. [16:10:02] <Wackd> Which I'm sure is a thing you can do while maintaining structural integrity. [16:10:28] <Duraz> he's gonna get buried if he keeps doing that [16:12:20] <Wackd> I mean, I suppose it's possible Ben knows enough about this sort of thing to make it work. https://usercontent.irccloud-cdn.com/file/2ED37f5X/IMG_1564.PNG [16:13:44] <Wackd> ...well, now I feel like kind of a jerk. [16:14:20] <Wackd> Turns out the baddie wasn't a baddie at all. He's a stranded alien who was only trying to collect water for him to breath once he repaired his spaceship and could make a return trip. [16:14:43] <Wackd> He was attacking the boats because he thought he'd be attacked if discovered. [16:15:24] <Wackd> So the entire POINT of this issue is that you shouldn't jump to conclusions about people just because they're strange. [16:15:53] <Wackd> Maybe, if they wanted that to work, they shouldn't have had Reed been right every time he suspects anyone ever in all previous issues? [16:15:57] <Wackd> Just a thought. [16:16:48] <Wackd> anyway fish boobs
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[16:17:12] <Wackd> (maybe they're just friends, reed, you don't know) [16:17:34] <Wackd> OH HEY ALSO! The monster STILL can't speak! Reed is still just jumping to random conclusions! [16:17:49] <Wackd> So I guess the actual moral is that Reed is always right even when he's wrong. [16:18:04] <Inbarfink> Goddamit Reed and his Heteronomativity [16:18:19] <Wackd> those last three words are superfluous [16:19:09] <Wackd> HEY BEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN A BIT MORE UNDERSTANDING IN THIS SITUATION
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[16:19:31] <Wackd> didn't i just do a thing a few issues ago about how it's weird that ben is the quickest to judge considering his own issues [16:19:35] <Wackd> is that just a trait he has now [16:22:56] <Wackd> yeah, here--where he has no sympathy for mole man https://f4liveblogarchives.tumblr.com/post/171974975823/fantastic-four-vol-1-90 [16:23:44] <Duraz> not very introspective, for all the time he spends in his own head [16:23:59] <Wackd> Anyway the alien takes off, Reed works out the alien and the murder dolphin guy were the same dude, the issue ends [16:24:11] <Wackd> That sure was a thing
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tragicbooks · 7 years
Text
A rover dived to the bottom of the ocean — again. 15 photos show what it discovered.
<br>
Back in 2016, this is what we saw on the ocean floor.
‌Image courtesy of NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, 2016 Deepwater Exploration of the Marianas.
It was found by this little dude:
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, 2017 American Samoa.
That's the Deep Discoverer remotely operated vehicle, or ROV, that lives on the Okeanos Explorer, a NOAA research ship that studies the oceans and climate change. The ship's expedition last year to the Mariana Islands revealed an unfortunate sight — beer cans, plastic bags, and other man-made trash littering the sea floor.
This year, the ship's gone out again. The good news: So far, none of its daily updates has included cans of processed meat.
Instead, its deepwater dives off the coast of American Samoa and various marine protected areas have revealed an amazing menagerie of ocean critters.
1. Creatures like this long-armed squid photographed off the coast of Swains Island.
‌Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.‌
2. This might look like a bit of rubbish, but trust me, it's a barrel sponge and it's very much alive.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
It fell over though. Oh, pathos!
3. A pair of sixgill sharks out for a swim together.‌
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.‌
4. A little oreo fish!
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
Unfortunately (fortunately?) they don't have anything to do with the cookies. Their scientific genus Oreosoma means "mountain body." They got the name because of all their little spikes.
5. But the ocean's much stranger than a fish whose name sounds like a cookie. Check out this ridiculous crinoid.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
Though it might look like the worst bouquet ever, crinoids are, in fact, animals related to starfish.
6. Or this shrimp hiding in a glass sponge.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
It looks like the cover art of a science-fiction novel.
7. Ever seen an octopus egg case?
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
The brown sac is the outer case, while the purple dangly bit is what's known as the chorion and hides the embryo.
8. Maybe it'll grow up to look like this magnificent specimen.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
The rare Grimpoteuthis, also known as the Dumbo octopus, uses the flaps on the side of it's head to swim through the water.
9. Or check out this ... what is this? A sea cucumber? Jerry, is this a sea cucumber?
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
Jerry says it is and belongs to the Psychropotes genus. Thanks, Jerry!
10. Not all sea cucumbers look like God's rough drafts though. Check out this elegant swimmer.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
This little one will likely spend it's entire life swimming around, catching food from the currents.
11. Scientists couldn't decide whether these crabs were fighting or flirting.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
Spotted nearly 2,500 feet below the surface, this hand-holding could be either premating behavior or aggression.
12. This shrimp was definitely guilty of murder though. It was a murdering shrimp. The murdershrimp.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
It totally caught and ate a fish on camera. Listen man, I don't want any trouble. You can have that fish; just leave me and my family alone.
13. Let's leave the murdershrimp behind and focus on something a bit more wholesome, like this cute little jellyfish.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
Scientists spotted this little Narcomedusae jelly about 1,800 feet down.
14. OK, enough of the cute. Time for monsters again. Meet the chimaera.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
Chimaeras, also known as ghost fish, are related to sharks and live on the deep ocean floor. This one was found more than a mile under the surface.
15. Believe it or not, that wasn't the weirdest looking fish they found. You've really got to see this armored searobin in motion.
It's like a fish trying to cosplay as a Star Wars A-wing.
The ocean is full of such amazing life. But here's the thing: The trash is still out there too.
Those beer cans and Spam containers haven't gone away. Nobody's going along the Mariana trench with a recycling bag. And there are more subtle ways our waste affects the ocean as well. A study published in February 2017, for instance, found man-made chemicals invading the bodies of even the deepest ocean fauna.
These are (still) the kinds of images people should see. The ocean is an amazing place. Let's keep it that way.
(Because I seriously don't want that murdershrimp coming after me.)
<br>
0 notes
socialviralnews · 7 years
Text
A rover dived to the bottom of the ocean — again. 15 photos show what it discovered.
<br>
Back in 2016, this is what we saw on the ocean floor.
‌Image courtesy of NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, 2016 Deepwater Exploration of the Marianas.
It was found by this little dude:
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, 2017 American Samoa.
That's the Deep Discoverer remotely operated vehicle, or ROV, that lives on the Okeanos Explorer, a NOAA research ship that studies the oceans and climate change. The ship's expedition last year to the Mariana Islands revealed an unfortunate sight — beer cans, plastic bags, and other man-made trash littering the sea floor.
This year, the ship's gone out again. The good news: So far, none of its daily updates has included cans of processed meat.
Instead, its deepwater dives off the coast of American Samoa and various marine protected areas have revealed an amazing menagerie of ocean critters.
1. Creatures like this long-armed squid photographed off the coast of Swains Island.
‌Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.‌
2. This might look like a bit of rubbish, but trust me, it's a barrel sponge and it's very much alive.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
It fell over though. Oh, pathos!
3. A pair of sixgill sharks out for a swim together.‌
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.‌
4. A little oreo fish!
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
Unfortunately (fortunately?) they don't have anything to do with the cookies. Their scientific genus Oreosoma means "mountain body." They got the name because of all their little spikes.
5. But the ocean's much stranger than a fish whose name sounds like a cookie. Check out this ridiculous crinoid.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
Though it might look like the worst bouquet ever, crinoids are, in fact, animals related to starfish.
6. Or this shrimp hiding in a glass sponge.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
It looks like the cover art of a science-fiction novel.
7. Ever seen an octopus egg case?
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
The brown sac is the outer case, while the purple dangly bit is what's known as the chorion and hides the embryo.
8. Maybe it'll grow up to look like this magnificent specimen.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
The rare Grimpoteuthis, also known as the Dumbo octopus, uses the flaps on the side of it's head to swim through the water.
9. Or check out this ... what is this? A sea cucumber? Jerry, is this a sea cucumber?
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
Jerry says it is and belongs to the Psychropotes genus. Thanks, Jerry!
10. Not all sea cucumbers look like God's rough drafts though. Check out this elegant swimmer.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
This little one will likely spend it's entire life swimming around, catching food from the currents.
11. Scientists couldn't decide whether these crabs were fighting or flirting.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
Spotted nearly 2,500 feet below the surface, this hand-holding could be either premating behavior or aggression.
12. This shrimp was definitely guilty of murder though. It was a murdering shrimp. The murdershrimp.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
It totally caught and ate a fish on camera. Listen man, I don't want any trouble. You can have that fish; just leave me and my family alone.
13. Let's leave the murdershrimp behind and focus on something a bit more wholesome, like this cute little jellyfish.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
Scientists spotted this little Narcomedusae jelly about 1,800 feet down.
14. OK, enough of the cute. Time for monsters again. Meet the chimaera.
Image courtesy of the NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, Discovering the Deep: Exploring Remote Pacific MPAs.
Chimaeras, also known as ghost fish, are related to sharks and live on the deep ocean floor. This one was found more than a mile under the surface.
15. Believe it or not, that wasn't the weirdest looking fish they found. You've really got to see this armored searobin in motion.
youtube
It's like a fish trying to cosplay as a Star Wars A-wing.
The ocean is full of such amazing life. But here's the thing: The trash is still out there too.
Those beer cans and Spam containers haven't gone away. Nobody's going along the Mariana trench with a recycling bag. And there are more subtle ways our waste affects the ocean as well. A study published in February 2017, for instance, found man-made chemicals invading the bodies of even the deepest ocean fauna.
These are (still) the kinds of images people should see. The ocean is an amazing place. Let's keep it that way.
(Because I seriously don't want that murdershrimp coming after me.)
<br> from Upworthy http://ift.tt/2oArAIJ via cheap web hosting
0 notes