I truly believe that nona is alecto/the body for the very simple and vitally important reason that harrow and nona/alecto/the body will meet at some point and harrow will be like O immortal Body, I have kept troth with you these many long and darkling years, I have sworn my heart, worthless thing though it may be, to you, I cast my fragile and aching body at your feet (and etc etc)
and the Body will look at her with those ineffable golden eyes and open her imperfectly beautiful mouth and say, her own true voice ringing out in harrow's ears for the very first time, "Hi! I like dogs, do you like dogs? I kissed you in the mirror once. Do you want to be best friends?"
And harrow will instantly be like Ohhh :/// I'm cured. I'm not in love with her anymore. where's gideon. ianthe? anyone.
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there’s an alternate universe out there where when you reach the sanctum in totk when “zelda” does her little cutscene she ends it by throwing a dagger at you and it whistles just past link’s head as he reacts in shock before readying himself for battle and then you regain control of him as a boss bar appears at the top of the screen that reads “Puppet Zelda, Twisted Memory”
and Link is forced to fight the one he swore he would protect and has been chasing after the entire game, and instead of a sage offering him warnings or encouragement the Zelda belittles him and accuses him of abandoning her and failing her and leaving her to die
and her attacks at the beginning of the fight are those bursts of bright light and the daggers but as you whittle down her health and begin stage two the facade begins to slip and the light bursts are replaced with darkness and she oozes gloom wherever she moves and her movements become more stiff and skeletal and broken
and then once you’ve defeated her she rises into the air all broken and limp but still looking at you and says that it doesn’t matter that she wasn’t zelda because zelda is still gone, trapped in the past with no way to come home she could be burried anywhere in hyrule, and she summons a dark bow of light and draws it back as a red-purple bulging mass begins to form at the arrow tip
and that’s when the sages turn up, sidon unleashing a wave that pushes the bow aside, tulin firing an arrow that riju uses to cast down lightning, and yunobo at link’s side, and they all have their own line of dialogue that boils down to ‘don’t worry link, there’s no way that’s zelda, she would never say those horrible things, and we know she’s still out there because you heard her true voice, so don’t lose hope!’
and then zelda dissolves into gloom with a fit of that uncanny laughter and that’s when that megamind-style ganondorf head appears and makes his whole speech about how they have no idea who he is or was and you get his memory and that he has waited all his imprisonment to battle against link and prove that he is the strongest in hyrule, ‘and then you will fall, link, as rauru and zelda did, knowing that hyrule falls with you. Come to the Depths beneath this wretched castle, and meet your fate, o destined hero.’
and then the zelda-gloom melts away into a heart, and the sages have that post-battle talk about re-grouping at lookout landing, and tell link not to do anything rash because they will find the real zelda together
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QTNA: Why was The Wilds cancelled??? How would the boys and girls have interacted in S3??? What would have happened to Nora & Seth when everyone found out what they did???
But most importantly: What are the ship names for TonixShelby and LeahxFatin????? And why did that woman think she was going to get away with that insanity?!?!
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idk if anyone's pointed this out yet but: it looks a lot like ed is wearing The Pearls in the new promo shot with frenchie- a picture which is pre stedes return (or at least, is heavily suggesting of that in its tone) soooo it seems theorys that they were a gift from stede are out the door- so what is the origin of the pearls???
i think my new personal take is that hes gonna steal them while theyre raiding a wedding- that hes gonna take them directly from someones neck
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