#they have no choice

[achaotichuman]

"Elain will choose Azriel because that's her choice, she is choosing him, this is all about choice!"

Well, Idgaf, I only speak for myself and no one else, but these are fictional characters and nothing they do is there is own choice.

In my fics it is MY choice what they do, and I WILL MAKE them choose whoever I WANT them to choose.

I do not care about their choices, because they cannot make any. They are figments of Sjm's imagination and when they are in my hands, they are figments of MY imagination.

#this is aimed at elriels but tbh it goes for every single ship #feyre is with tamlin cause i say so #igaf about their choice #they arent real #they have no choice #acotar #anti elriel #pro elucien #pro tamcien #pro feylin

[allimili]

Damn, two butterfly-themed beings are after my gems

#my gems are so ready #they will come home #they have no choice #they HAVE to come home #aponia #ortho shroud #honkai impact #honkai impact 3rd #twisted wonderland

[sublunaryorchid]

my love language is yarn and I intend to impose it upon everyone

#they have no choice #crochetblr #text

[hemaris]

i found a baby picture of my cat please please look at him i'm begging you

#i'm sooo stressed out (accidentally did good at a job interview & have to make life choices now) but ohhh his sweet little face... #ollie

[chimaeraonwards]

John Cusack, the voice actor for Dimitri in Anatasia (1997), shared his statement on Palestine 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸

P.S. He has been a Palestinian supporter for years

#palestine #free palestine #gaza #free gaza #west bank #free west bank #“if you're there - what choice do you have?” #john cusack #anastasia 1997 #israel #israel occupation #israel apartheid #anastasia #update to tags: yes i know he didnt just do anastasia but thats the one that stood out to me i love anastasia #the way everyone is like ok this is super serious topic but ANASTASIA??? is so amusing to me pls keep them coming #also please continue sharing about palestine!!!! FREE PALESTINE

[talaricula]

Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)

#Also I'm saying this as someone who actually watched quite a few of Somerton's videos #And noticed those patterns and stopped watching bc I recognised them from here #and had already learned to unlearn them after being so exposed to them here #And tbh I think anyone who hasn't had the luck or made the conscious choice to seek out ppl who pushed against those narratives #Would absolutely have fallen for this man's bullshit. Like let's not kid ourselves we see takes like this every day on this hellsite #2014 me would have. For sure. #This is next to the plagiarism issue which as Harris points out is an Internet wide issue and this includes tumblr #James Somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #This brought to you by a conversation with my wife yesterday #So many ppl on here don't deserve to meme or be this self absolvingly critical of this man #The call is coming from inside the house #The man has a tumblr it would legit not surprise me if some of the things he supposedly made up himself he did actually get from somewhere #And that somewhere was a tumblr post

[nikkedesires]

Dorothea doesn't mind the random dress up parties or maid outfits or the like that the other nikke on the ark wear of course. in fact she's more then happy to join them in dressing up for certain fun events if she has the time to do so. Though expect to see Real Kindness dressed up to match her, as she has to enforce a sense of uniform at times when they are outside of their normal mission/prisoner uniforms.

#the warden || dorothea #they WILL look as good as she does #they have no choice

[allysketches]

gets in charge of the bookshop for 1 (one) day: shows up in a cardigan vest and metal sleeve garters, keeps the shop CLOSED, avoids selling a single book... iconic, truly did THE MOST, 10/10 😩👌🏻

(also, the way he was this 🤏🏻 close to finally achieving the status of house husband he's been dreaming about for MILLENIA just to have the rug pulled out from under him last minute... truly DEVASTATING 😩 my girl really can't catch a break 🤧)

#good omens #good omens fanart #crowley #anthony j crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #neil gaiman #do you have any idea how hard it was to distinguish wtf he was wearing exactly #when this walking disaster idea of fashion is black on black on black on black??!?!!? #i had to up the lightness to the max #and i'm still not 100% on the details tbh #but oh well #I'm sure I made better choices than he did

[elllteo]

What's the matter? Lives flashing before your eyes?

#Puss in boots #puss in boots death #puss in boots the last wish #puss in boots wolf #puss in boots fanart #death I would die for you...I wouldnt have a choice but id do it willingly #my art #fanart #furry art

[socialantleredrabbit]

a game, or a book, or a tv show have you seeking out community if you want to be in one. when you play an arcade game, however, the community comes straight to you, giving you no chance not to participate.

this is something i love to bits about pump but something which is stopping to be true for the city i currently reside in

#see we have several locations #one of them has a small community but the place is Expensive so that limits the community it might have #the other has a lower price (it’s the frankenstein monster machine. i might have told you about it #and people used to go there but now almost no one does because the speakers are faulty and the sound isn’t good frankly speaking #and this may attract newcomers but they won’t ever meet a more experienced player (unless someone goes there which they would do only if #they have no choice #and then we have two private locations. one of them houses three guys no one really likes and the other is mine but like 6 people go there #and we all contribute to its rent which is. also a steep price. but if you only want to tag along w someone the price isn’t that bad #so we are all divided n there are barely any new people #sigh. #pumpposting

[tinystepsforward]

idk how many of you remember this but a few years ago tumblr ran a universally panned ad campaign for (us american) pride month that went "the gayest place on the internet".

well someone planning that campaign dropped in to ask the queer automatticians for advice on that and universally me and the other trans people involved were like "don't do it. i am so serious. don't do it. people on tumblr won't understand that it wasn't automattic who instituted the porn ban, or they will, but they'll recognize that automattic hasn't done anything, hands tied or not, to reverse it. nobody will like this. it will be a disaster." and they thanked us for our thoughts and went ahead with it anyway and then had to do retrospectives about how badly it went and were like "we just didn't know" and [gestures] yeah [edit: i think the person who rbed saying it was queerest place on the internet was right, my brain is fried, sorry! and that's... even worse lmao]

#tony muses #hello new followers. for clarity if you are expecting intense amounts of goss about tumblr specifically i am not your person #when automattic first acquired tumblr they asked queer staff who wanted to transfer over to something that was dear to a lot of us #and i specifically did not want to shit where i eat so to speak #which was the right choice. i just have other info about automattic more generally

[quinnfebrey]

remember when taylor speaking about voting led to a 1226% increase in vote.org activity within just an hour?

it’s been just 2 hours and her instagram post announcing the new album already has over 7 million likes.

i wonder how many phone calls to reps, money to feed starving people in gaza, emails to government officials, and awareness could be brought about if she were to do literally anything to acknowledge the ongoing genocide that has murdered over 10,000 children!

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#i have no choice but to wonder bc she’d never 😍 #*

[nostalgicfun]

Feel free to share which is your favorite NOW in the tags, but this particular poll is about which you preferred as a child! ⭐ In a few days we'll do another one with more options!

#there are some very obvious choices omitted because #1. I'm doing several of these and they have different themes! #2. There are some choices that would be absolutely too popular like ATLA and Spongebob and Scooby Doo #OOH I should do an allstars poll that pits all the really big ones against each other #polls

[maculategiraffe]

man if I was a russian mob boss and my worthless layabout son killed baba yaga's dog I'd just fucking give him up. like immediately. like call john wick's secret basement landline and be like "iosef's at the club. all his goons and bodyguards have been instructed to stand down. there's a new puppy on your front porch. do you want an edible arrangement or anything"

#it's not like little theon is an asset to your empire #just move on with your life #have more sons. make better parenting choices #psir #john wick

[devilfruitdyke]

we need to destroy the idea that girls should wear makeup. normalize bare faces on prom queens and flower girls and cheerleaders. no products at all instead of '7 product simple makeup routine.' no more 10 step skincare and regular facials and dermablading and gua sha just to be comfortable with yr natural face. i want to see eye bags on the funny librarian and acne on the swim coach and wrinkles on all our adult role models. i want to see a 16 year old girl that has never tried putting on eyeshadow. i want to see a 7 year old girl who doesn't have to go out and buy powder for her dance recital. i want to see trans women and girls everywhere to never have to wear makeup, regardless of how well they 'pass.' no more 'contouring to look masc' either. a post-beauty industry world is possible

reblogs are on but if you bring up the stage makeup point that i have addressed three times yr blocked on sight ☹️

#this is me warding myself against the b arbie m ovie shitstorm. </3 #too many teenage girls have had 'bimbo feminist' thrust upon them by the attention economy + consumer-feminist culture #its ok to just be fucking lame. like you can still be fem/me and stuff while doing it #there is a world where you can feel comfortable in yrself even if you arent Aesthetic #the makeup industry is trying to hinder this tho #plus i saw that post thats like. 'the reason we see a lot of casual pseudo-gender-essentialist and choice feminism rhetoric... #... is because we have fewer posts now that have basic feminist messages' #that resonated so i am the change i want to see in the world #i wanna try and make a r iot g rrrl masterpost for anyone getting into that side of things later so lmk if you want to see it

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop