Tumgik
#they go 'no way haha i never wouldve guessed. cant relate. anyway'
angelspenance · 3 years
Note
(I couldn’t tell if it was stepping over a line to send you this ask and you do not need to post it, but-) I saw your personal post about struggling with being undiagnosed but feeling like something is Seriously Wrong even though doctors will tell you that you’re doing fine in school, and I wanted to let you know that your struggle is valid, and I’m sorry you’re not getting help and validation from ‘official sources.’ I like seeing you enjoy the things you like, and I followed you because I thought you were neat and had interesting things to say. I really hope that you can get the help you’re looking for and that you can get the sense, at least from me, that you’re valid and you aren’t alone
thank u this was a very nice ask to recieve :)
#asks#anon#im glad u enjoy me n my content & my passion for my interests!#my whole thing is that i Try to do things out of need to bc if i mess up i feel u know. worthless burdensome etc.#and since ive grown so used to hiding Everything when i tell ppl im. for lack of more specific terms. fucked in the head#they go 'no way haha i never wouldve guessed. cant relate. anyway'#like im competent out of need to be thanks to self worth issues but in reality just. everything hurts everyday#bc my poor mental health manifests in my body so i always have headaches and tight shoulders and back pain and i cant focus on anything#like the one thing i Did get diagnosed for was clinical depression and my doctor commented on how tight my shoulders were from my own mind#taking its toll. but still was like 'haha u should be fine'#and my parents dont want me on meds or anything and think im just being dramatic abt things and that technology is whats to blame for#everything about me and then dont listen to a word i say and get mad when i tell them how i feel so. there is That.#plus ive got a whole paranoia thing that nobody genuinely likes me thanks to having ex friends make a literal group hate chat about me#a few years ago and whenever ppl tell me that they appreciate me i feel like theyre lying even if i Know that theyre not and its just#a really weird feeling to shake. also ive got this thing where i wake up and i just feel innately Wrong? like ive literally woken up having#an anxiety attack and realized it hours later bc i have such a poor read on my own feelings bc ive been so detached from them for so long#like all ive got is 'something everything is wrong' 'full of love' 'i think im good rn' 'pain. suffering even' & 'intense fixation'#and this is like. the half of it#sorry abt the vent but ty for the ask it was rlly nice :')#wshdlf im so fucked in the head i find solace thru madoka magica </3
15 notes · View notes
kasssiopeia · 7 years
Text
Final thoughts on NDRV3
posted under cut because spoilers!
So I want to write a little review for.. i dont even know whos gonna read that? probably nobody that still wants to play the game afterwards, haha. Anyway I felt like writing a final report on what I liked or... disliked, at least for the record I guess.
Starting with characters:
When I first watched the trailer, there were quite a few characters that caught my eye. Especially Yonaga and Amami, also Saihara and talent wise I was really looking forward to Ultimate Magician cause?? Nice? Also the promo pictures oh my.. Akamatsu and Harukawa?? Hell yeah. Saihara and Momota? Yeah alright! Amami and.. whos that again? Ah yes Ouma.. well I don’t really care but sure? (haha)
Actually playing the game made me think twice on a lot of characters really quickly. First of all I immediately fell in love with Chabashira and the fact that she and Akamatsu got along was just suuuper exciting!! Also Shinguuji seemed interesting but his story seemed a bit difficult for me to understand in Japanese. After getting to know Hoshi for a bit I also became really attached to this character cause he was kinda relatable for me? and I dont mean because of the same alias, I just felt his kinda nihilism and will to sacrifice himself for the others cause they have more “will to live” hit home really closely. I think if it were me, surely I’d behave similarly. Halfway through the story I suddenly realized I really love Ouma, I don’t even know how that happened cause at first I was kinda meh towards him but smh it happens quite often that characters who pissed me off before suddenly become my bias, soo we are stuck with him now I guess? but ill talk about him in more detail later. Saihara turned out to be a true “meh i dont really care about this guy” character, Harukawa was annoying cause in the end her behaviour changed nothing and it was just plain boring. Hagakure.. I mean Momota was same, and it was even worse that these two kinda became a romantic pair cause that just made them even more boring. I could only acknowledge Momota after it was found out that he agreed to Oumas plan.
Also I ended up disliking most of the other characters, ESPECIALLY Yumeno cause she was equally boring and useless and dont act like you ever cared about Chabashira cause Im not buying that. Angie WOULD have been interesting if she had killed someone after all, but yeah whatever. Shinguuji had the potential but they decided to completely fuck over his character in his trial.
The game mode:
Tbh at this point, I cant really complain much? I gotta say I disliked logic dive and forgot how its called.. the sword mode something something. But then again I played this on pc and I think both wouldve been a lot easier with a controller. Now lets look at brain drive, which works similar like logic dive and... what? i have to pick up sex workers? Saihara’s car is full of sexy ladies? WHAT
seriously i dont know what they were thinking but that just weirded me the fuck out. The rest wasnt so bad. The new game mode they brought in wasnt so bad, relatively easy to win but to this day id need so much more time to figure out how to clear every block. The showdown thing?? pretty shit. I liked panic talk action in the previous games, but now it became a button mashing rhythm game that was.. pretty difficult aint gonna lie. Also the fact that you literally tear off their clothes until they are half naked in the end.. what. the. fuck.  Climax logic was alright, but the pictures got really tiny i think? sometimes it was hard to get what was going on unless you read the description. Scrum debatte was great, and the new feature to lie? ... Meh. Smh from the trailer I got the impression that i could either lie or tell the truth. Maybe I was just too stupid to do that, but i dont think i ever had a choice to do either. If someone was able to do different, please tell me cause I was a bit disappointed. Ah also, weak point panic talk(?) where you have to listen to many characters at first. if im not wrong it was introduced as something only Akamatsu can do? because of her musical ear I mean. Well guess that was a lie,
The trials:
Probably THE main thing in dangan ronpa I mean hey we all came here to enjoy a little murder mystery right? (jk im here to romance the characters in peace mode) Let’s say I wasn’t... too impressed with them.
The first trial was pretty interesting, well done too, if it WASNT for the point that the player character herself was the killer and got executed. Wait what, you just took my character away? after the FIRST trial? Yes exactly. I’m not sure what they were thinking except adding a bit more drama and man pain for Saihara but ill write more to that later. At the end of this trial, everyone cried more for the killer than for the victim just because her motive was something as noble as “I knew we wouldnt make it in time so one of us had to kill someone.”
second trial was... incredibly weird and unnecessarily cruel, and I’m not saying this because Hoshi is my bias. Okay maybe I am. But seriously first he gets drowned and then his corpse is eaten by piranhas so theres not even anything left of him anymore? The whole creating a ropeway with a pool floating thing just felt weird to me as well but sure I wrote it off as “after two games theyll eventually run out of ways”. Speaking about the motive... it was similar to the first murder in dr1, but the fact that Toujou turned out to be some president of a country (if I got that right, I was bored and didnt bother checking unknown words) and she wanted to get out to save her people just.. what? And I said this before but I dont believe that Hoshi just “let himself get killed”. Why’d he fight for his life otherwise and leave all those scratch marks on a fucking stone sink? After the trial, again, nobody cried for the victim, they were all ridden on the killers noble idea of getting out.... okay? what
the third trial!! hell yeah!! that was finally one i could really enjoy, despite my waifu getting killed (but she was beautiful until the end). I actually dont know what really got me to like this murder, but the fact that it was definitely plausible maybe helped. Also when it happened right in front of everyone was just really exciting! The trial was... good, until Shinguujis “real identity” was revealed. His motive was pretty gross, I mean the fact that hes romantically in love with his sister and kills for her, which also implied hes a serial killer just.. idk that was weird, but FINALLY they didnt cry for the killer but for the victims.
trial four was a PAIN to get to, istg this stupid game world pissed me off to the point where i didnt  wanna play anymore, also cause i heavily suspected Ouma to do something and I didnt want him gone haha. The death itself turned out to be pretty interesting (tbh i wouldve never thought theyd kill of a ero character like Iruma! ) so I’d say i liked this trial.
Dude trial five!!! hyped me up so much. I was so torn between hoping Ouma is the killer and also Ouma being the victim... if I ignore the stupid romance interval between Harukawa and Momota, I could even say this was my favorite trial. But it also heavily reminded me of Komaeda’s trial which was a bit.. weird. I got pretty pissed that in the end, Momota didnt go through with Oumas plan, therefore making his death basically useless.  But boy the trial gave me so  many Ouma feels, so that was nice...
The sixth and final trial... where do I even start? Well its where the whole plot comes to an end right? And the kotodama looked pretty interesting, just like the build up but then.. I understand that 4th wall breaking is cool, but do it too much or at the wrong time and its just a pain in the ass.
The trial almost had me throw away my ps vita in frustration also it was so boring i ended up skipping a lot of dialogue cause what are you even trying to get at? Not even the end or some more 4th wall breaking could fix this and literally until the end i was so bored that i just skipped through so i could unlock bonus mode... i almost feel like telling everyone, dont play this game now lol.
The story
If the beginning had you wondering, isnt that normal for all dr games? at least i thought so. normal game, normal killing, great. But the new main character! Akamatsu was pretty lovable. I enjoyed the way she brought in her talent into conversations (and left others stunned cause they couldnt relate). She was just really refreshing to play as, just the small romance-y sections with Saihara were boring (but at this point i thought its just being friends so okay) . Compared to Naegi who was seen by the others mostly as a “loser” or weakling who sometimes says something good, and Hinata whom everyone really liked, Akamatsu seemed to me like having some people who really trust her, and those who are somehow against her. AND THAT FELT RIGHT.
Too bad she literally gets killed as the murderer during the FIRST trial and replaced by Saihara who evidentally gives off a ~Naegi vibe~. Seriously why would you even do that.. It was stupid as heck, but the only good thing is that it saved us from possible Saihara and Akamatsu love story.
Continuing, Saihara loses some of his weakness thanks to Momota, and also it is hinted that Ouma can’t really be trusted or can he...? Cause what he did that was thought to be evil and possibly harmful for the others actually turned out to be a way to at least prevent one killing. After that I got the feeling that he actually grew just a little bit closer to the group and became even more helpful again.
Then we have these weird scenes with Harukawa and Momota, which are just weird and Harukawa herself was a boring character, but if you care for some tragic background and forseeable character development that of course has to end with romantic feelings, sure.
The student council thing to prevent murders from happen was actually pretty interesting and i wish theyd gone through with that just a bit more, but it was a nice turn of events.
Talking about Ouma, the moment you think hes on your side, theres this weird scene with him and Monokuma and you know somethings up. I made a post about this earlier too, wishing for him to double cross everyone and eventually turn out good, but that suddenly turned into a pretty far fetched wish after the fourth trial where hes portrayed as ultra evil and later on reveals that hes the mastermind (wait, is he really? should his black and white clothing scheme have given him away sooner?)
i guess i... didnt mind it so much except for the fact that Ouma wont appear that often anymore. he even goes as far as to say that the killing game is over, but isnt it kinda boring that the character who hinted that he was evil, turns out to be evil after all? Well a lot of things in this game were a bit boring, so... sure. We even learn that Ouma is a remnant of despair and what?? how does that even make sense. If they are supposedly students of the new Kibougamine Gakuen which was built by Naegi, Junko and Despair wouldve long been dead! Alright then? Oh yes also the whole setting ins in SPACE and those students are the last 16 humans from earth who were put in cryosleep until they reached a new planet to live on. Oh...kay? Why not I mean.
For Hope to win, everyone sets out to kill Monokuma to finally make the Killing game end for real and.. look, Ouma is helping them! Somehow that is really giving me hope for his character even if his insane laugh and incredibly creepy sprite (seriously what the fuck) are a bit unsettling...
And then.. who wouldve thought? Another killing happens but this time with a twist. Ouma wasnt actually the ultra bad guy everyone thought and guess what! Hes not even the mastermind! Thats my son. I was super happy that some faith in Ouma was restored, even tho his plan to snuff out the true mastermind reminded me of Komaeda going crazy to single out the traitor... especially cause there are quite a few similarities between those two.
So for the final trial, it seems that there are quite a few hints linking to the true mastermind being Enoshima... again? How did she even get here. But theres some weird plan from the government and the fact that Monokuma is here as well might be that someone implanted some sort of virus like in sdr2? We also know that theres definitely someone who is watching the whole killing game. And thats... where it all goes to shit.
This dangan ronpa is the 53rd installment and the people watching are actually dangan ronpa fans! surprise youre all just fictional characters who chose to be here, and so is every other dangan ronpa character! nothing is real, you dont even really exist! lololol
do i need to say any more
I think that was the worst plot twist ive ever seen? You couldve just somehow figured something out, even make it a reality tv show for crying out loud but not some bullshit like ohh the dangan ronpa fans wanna see you despair! they wanna see you have hope!
fuck. off.
if it wasnt for that ending, that game wouldve been a solid 7/10 I’d say, especially with the last 3 chapters really getting me fired up. But that shit.. Its a literal, oh we just made this game cause you fans wanted it? we didnt actually wanna make this but you keep asking for more?
HOW ABOUT YOU DIDNT EVEN MAKE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE
im gonna go romance ouma in peace mode now bye
2 notes · View notes
dewiyl · 5 years
Text
-
I find myself hard to share this. I dont have many friends to share, or i dont trust them enough to tell them this. This is the only account my that friends dont know, so im gonna write here. Im so into The Beatles lately, love to hear their songs, they were very charming and attractive as young boys. What a journey the have made. So it was such a shame that they broke up the way they did. Espcially between Paul and John. Then last night, i, unintentionally, got curious about what really happened between them. Only they knew what was what, and many rumours has been spreading whether they're true or not. So I am just assuming. Of course by watching their interviews. In my opinion, The Beatles as a whole group not only Paul and John, would break up anyway. With or wihtout Yoko. I thought this as I watched Goerge Harrison when asked about John. He sounded upset that John and Paul never realized his presence, forgot that he and Ringo were also in the band. Well, I cant blame him. I wouldve felt the same if i were him. In that kind of fame, it mustve been so hard to yourself together. You forgot people when you are in the top. Thats human being. Feeling upset and left behind is also human being. So it was unavoided what happened to them. However, John and Paul broke up was another story. And I think it was more than being in the band and writing sings together. It included many people as well. Yoko, their managers, and maybe even Linda. This is where I feel like I can relate to John's feelings. John was already complicated man before even everything started. His parents got divorced, seperated from his mother when he really wanted to live with her. Then he met Paul, shared the same hobbies and stuff, started everything together, visited his mom together, and even I think they were together when John lost his togther which really shooke his world. And Paul was there, even more he had the same experienced when his mother died. I guess their bond started to grow, like more than bandmate, friend, even more than brothers. Not in such weird way. I assumed that Paul was like everything for John. Would absolutely do everything for him. Maybe all this time he was longing for a mate, a person who really understands him, like really really really understands hi, fun to work with, and he can do everything with him, having fun together. Like a soulmate. And maybe he found that in Paul. I mean John didnt even feel thay way to women. Even I think Cynthia felt that too. So if someone feels that way toward a person, it must be something REALLY big happened between them that made them hated each other. I, too, had who i considered as a best friend. We met when we were in highshool. We were classmate. She had another friends that time. When i first talked to her, we were suprisingly really connected. Or I thought so. I think we shared the same thoughts and views on many things. We shared the same hobby, music taste, movie and others. She had a boyfriend at the time, my senior. It didnt bother at all really. She had her time with her boyfriend after schools which after she had time with her friends, including me. Not long after we first met, she started to ditch her ald friends. Said she sometimes didnt feel comfortable with them, always talked about the same things, boys. I remember her friend was mad at me because she didnt wanne be friend with her anymore. It wanst even my fault tho haha. We texted more than she did to his boyfriend i guess. I was so childish and insecure, so she took care of me very well. So I felt like 'maybe she is my best friend'. I never felt to have someone like that. I wasnt longing for someone or lonely, but it was nice to have someone who looked after you and you can depend on. She really was someone like that to me. Her mom was nice too. I've met her family. We even went to the college and took almost ever class together. So i thought the friendship will not end after highschool. She adapted very easy to new environment and i didnt. So she helped me alot to make friends in college. Until finally, she started to have new boyfriend. She still took care of me a lot in the beginning. She wasnt too opened about her relationship with boys to her other friends, except me. I was always the first person to know who she was seeing. Her dates treated me well too. So I was fine with her bekng with boys. I wasnt jelous of feeling lef behind. Until finally she made me feel that way. I dont know what happened, if I hurt her or something, or she maybe didnt like to hang out with me anymore, she started to left me behind because of his new boyfriend. And he made her being friend with his friend too. At that time i didnt understand any of it and felt like i was the victim. Why did she leave for him? I wasnt in boy x girl relationship so i didnt understand that it had to be the friend who was alyas left behind. She will forever choose her man. Even worse, she made a lot of new friends and never asked to hang out with her anynomore while hanging out with them. It hurt so much. I didnt like being treated that way. I begun to show how i felt towards her and she knew it. She said nothing about it and let our friendship started to fade away. Now we are almost not friend anymore. Sometimes we dint even talk when we see each other. I've never been treated like that so it really effected me in everyway. Thus, until this day, I still cant forgive her for how she made me feel about her. I hate her. I hate her because we never really discussed what really happened between us. I still hate her because she never shows her guilts. I'm starting to hang out a little bit with her lately, but I cant help but not to let my guards down. I dont wanna feel like a best friend to her again and then being left behind again. But I do care for her. I really want to be by her side if she needs me. I just feel she doesnt want me to be. It is whole different friendship now. Its not it used to be. I cant talk the way I did to her before and she doesnt talk they she did to me before. It pisses me off that it has to be this way. I loved her as friend, I really did because she was able to make make me feel pathetic and miserable when she wasnt friend with me anymore. Around two years ago her parents got divorced, her dad went to another city and his mom married somebody else's husband. I didnt know until his mom told me. I was the LAST to know about that. I tried to talk to her to tell about what happened. I was sad that I was the last to know. And it was when his brother got a bike accident and did surgery. I was so sad to see what was going on to her family. She must be in pain, confused, and didnt know what to do. Then she said se was going to move from her house. Again, I was the last to know. I was mad and upset about that. Now I'm trying not to take everything about her personally. We hang out and bump into each other quite a lot these days. I dont wanna think that we're close friend anymore. She seems like want to keep a distance. It upsets me really. I have a lot to tell her, what happened in my life and stuff. And I want to know what happened in her life while we didnt talk to each other. I hate it that we cant. Since then, I havent found anyone like her. I find the other friends always disappoint me. I dont know, I think I feel like I'm vulnerable to let someone into my life. Friends, lovers, anyone. It's hard to let go. What I actually really want is that her admitting her faults and talk about what happened. That's all. I see myself as John. Not that I have a hard life as he did, but maybe John felt like that too. Maybe Paul didnt realize him and Paul broke up had different affect on John than it had on him. When John lost his mother Paul was there. That was probably his hardest time. So he might think that Paul left him behind. I dont know what and how, but somehow I feel like Paul had special place in John's heart. He might be thinking that the most important people in her life were Paul and his son Sean. Being let down by people that are as important as that in your life affects you so much. Maybe Paul didnt know that since everything was normal to him. He didnt feel like losing a soulmate. It was so sad that they might didnt get a chance to say everything. After all, they were soulmates. I cant talk to anybody about this. I really cant. I already imagine the face they make if I tell them. They just dont understand.
0 notes