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#they give me a life no other couple can
itspileofgoodthings · 7 months
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one time my mom was talking about something, I don’t remember what, and she said “have you ever known the poverty of having nothing to say?” and when I say nothing has ever punctured my heart quite like that statement
#I don’t even fully know why. also I don’t think she even meant it how I took it#but there is just some part of me that does believe that that is the greatest poverty#when there are no words in your mind or heart. no phrases—nothing to rely on or fall back on#and you just have to struggle with the human condition and be able to express none of it#and I know that not everyone uses words like I do or relies on them that way but people need some words. they need something#this is why a) I never make fun of those Instagram accounts that are all cheesy inspirational quotes or whatever because people are trying#they are REACHING#also b) that’s why villains who are wordlessly violently destructive make me cry#because it’s just like—-yeah I can understand turning to violence if I didn’t have expression#if I couldn’t get anything out#also also this is not related but I watched some movie or tv show the other day (and I cannot for the life of me remember which one it was)#but there was this couple on a date and the girl asks him to complete all these proverbs after she gives him the first half#because ‘a man who knows his proverbs can’t be all bad’ and it shook. Me. To. My. CORE.#also also!! this is why I teach! it’s the heart of it for me!! And why I make them memorize poetry. like.#and put quotes on the board every day. like. You will have words and images in your mind and your heart from my class if I have anything#to say about it#anyway sometimes my mom says things and casually devastates me#and I think (I think) she was just talking about the poverty of having no news because nothing is going on#and so you have nothing to share with someone. and she was talking about my Grandma and how sometimes she was just so sullen and quiet#but it’s just because there was nothing to say#anyway anyway anyway that is also why the one time on the phone my grandma said who has known the mind of the Lord —shook me so much#because she never really said anything. words were not her thing and she never quoted anything#and suddenly her saying this line of scripture that said more than any words I’d ever said —one of the defining moments of my life#tbh. anyway this is very long I’m sorry. I have woken up this morning crying about this. idk.
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countess-of-edessa · 4 months
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the thing about taking advice from anyone on tiktok or instagram including catholic and christian type influencers, parenting advice, relationship advice, etc, or internalizing any stories of horrible relationships and betrayal people tell on those platforms, or reading about all the ways interpersonal relationships can end horribly and be cycled through extremely quickly on those platforms is that you are necessarily then consuming the thoughts and experiences of someone who is willing to put their face and name on a public social media platform to talk at you. and like 1% of those people have a good reason for doing so and the other 99% are completely unhinged. so everything you’re consuming has first gone through the filter of "is this person weird and insane enough to make Instagram reels of themselves crying?" and if the answer is yes maybe their advice doesn’t apply to your life because you’re a normal person who would not do that.
#i don’t know if this makes sense but it’s something i was thinking about today#not that i really live my life according to Instagram reel advice but as a human being when i see something stated as fact i naturally seek#out the parts of it I believe or compare it to my current worldview#and when that person seems to have a lot of “clout” for discussing spiritual things….idk sometimes I’m like wait is this true? should i#believe this? and other times I’m like well is this a real pattern of behavior that can be observed in many people from different walks of#life including my own? this thing that all men do or all women do or the way all couples will eventually behave#this makes it sound like i am constantly on social media consuming hours of content which im really not#I’ll be on a train and scroll a little bit and something gets stuck in my craw#but with me I’m always like am i rationalizing this away because i don’t want it to resonate?#and I think in the case of anything on social media the answer can almost always be no#because im like wait. why would i take advice from someone who has a public Instagram account#im not saying a stopped clock isn’t right twice a day but really how much of my perspective and life experiences can they share in#when we have this totally totally mismatched worldview#(i mean this also applies to basically anyone offering any type of life advice who isn’t catholic about that)#(but when they are Catholics doing this that gives me slightly more pause for obvious reasons I’m like we are on the same team though?)#(and we are but only kind of and i do not have to listen to you because being an Instagram influencer is still cringe in 99% of cases.)
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torchickentacos · 6 months
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ok i slept for uhhh seventeen hours on and off since last night bc chronic illness <3 BUT that means I'll be up until like five am tonight. sad. BUT!!! that gives me time to read fics that i've meant to for months, and reading fic in general is something i don't do often so i'm kind of excited for my accidental all nighter era.
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adriartts · 10 months
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Making enemies making friends
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weaponizedducks · 2 days
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after rewatching knives out for the billionth time i have come to the conclusion that chris evans and daniel craig thrive in the silly goofy roles. get them out of the Sexy Cool Action Hero™ typecast and let them go apeshit
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zemnarihah · 15 days
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my best friend has been very distant w me lately and i asked today if she wanted to hang out and she said she probably couldn't bc it's her brothers birthday but she would let me know if she could and i have her location and i just looked and she's at her boyfriends house rn....
#we have it bc we're roomates so we started sharing locations when we first moved in like in case someone doesn't come home at night or smth#she recently told me that she wants to move out bc she has always wanted to live alone and she can finally afford it. and i asked her#directly like is there an issue because she is so non confrontational so she has never ever mentioned me doing anything that bothers her#and i said please tell me if there's something wrong because it would really suck if there was and i never got a chance to fix it because#you never told me. and she said no it has nothing to do with that i really just feel like it's time for me to live on my own. and a couple#days ago she was like okay i'm next in line for my apartment i'll probably move out in april. and i try to get her to hang out still and#she always has something else going on and i swear every night this week she's been at her boyfriends.#and if i see her around our apartment and try to make conversation at all she's so like short about it and barely responds like will only#give one word answers. i feel like it kind of started when i started dating e but i realized that i was spending less time with her and i#didn't want to be the girl that loses all my friends bc of a boyfriend so i started specifically reaching out to hang out with her and she#says no most of the time and never asks me. like i don't know what else i can do.#i'm like maybe it's bc of her boyfriend? bc they've been on again off again for a long time and previously when they were together it was#really distant with her like i barely saw her EVER. and they were mostly broken up for the past couple years and have been together i think#for a while again... but she knows i don't approve of that relationship and so she would like not say when they were talking again. so maybe#since lately they've been hanging out or dating or WHATEVER she doesn't fucking tell me what's going on with him. maybe that's why.#i literally like try to think of ways it could be my fault and maybe i'm being crazy but i cannot even think to blame myself for more than a#fleeting second bc i'm like. i have ASKED HER directly if there is an issue or something i do that bothers her and she says no. so even if#i'm somehow pissing her off would i ever know to change anything?? i just feel so frustrated bc it's like she's an entirely different person#to me. like this is not the person i know. and i don't know what else i could possibly do like i feel like we need to sit down and have a#conversation about it but what good does that do if she just acts like nothing is wrong. but i don't want to lose my friend i have such a#hard time making friends. i've known her since i was 14 like i can't imagine my life without her. we were the only two in our whole friend#group in high school to get out of the church i still love those other girls but we have so little in common now.
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westernsunshine · 3 months
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Last night’s dream was the first one I’ve had in a long time where I wanted to fall back asleep and stay in it/experience it again
#so i’d moved back to the states under false pretences (student visa whilst having zero plan to do another degree)#and was living with my favourite of the three roommates i had last time i was there. they had however given up weed completely and become#a full blown alcoholic. our apartment was messy as fuck and i was the only person who was cleaning it#at one point a couple of our friends were helping me and they were criticising all the mess and i was like ‘it’s literally not me’#i was taking classes to maintain the ruse that i was doing something to deserve my student visa and every class i showed up to everyone was#wearing surgical masks for covid. i also had this weird thing going on where i could see everyone irl#but if i wanted to i could see everyone in video game sprite form and i could see whether i’d met them yet and how many hearts i had#with them. and there was this guy i realllly wanted to flirt with so i tried sitting in what i was pretty sure was the seat next to his#but this other guy sat next to me instead and kind of looked at me funny#then he started talking to me unprompted about covid rates on campus and then started flirting with me and then was like ‘btw did you know#who i am?’ and i was like ‘no lol. i mean i know your name because you introduced yourself but other than that’#and he’s like ��oh that’s such a relief’. turns out he’s the famous lead singer of a kpop band. he’s like ‘if i took off this surgical mask#and styled my hair a bit differently i would get mobbed immediately’ i was like ‘yeah i don’t listen to kpop. i have kpop mutuals but the#whole thing is a mystery to me’ anyway he told me his name but i just called him kim to help him maintain anonymity#we made a date to hang out and study together and i went back to my horrible apartment to discover that my roommate had broken their#sobriety from weed and there was a drug dealer in my flat trying to sign me up for ‘a weed raffle’#i was like ‘i’m not interested but what can i get for $20’ she lists off two incomprehensible measurements and weed strains and then says#‘i can give you weed hot chocolate’ i was like ‘that sounds fucking delicious sign me up’ she’s like ‘this is a good deal darling’#i’m just like ‘okay’. i woke up still waiting for my weed hot chocolate to arrive and also waiting for my date with kpop boy#overall a really nice dream. like yeah the covid stuff and the mess was bad but honestly… honestly that’s just life atm#personal
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djtangerine · 2 years
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so many people in the notes of various joe hills pronouns posts are like “well ofc i don’t think he means it” or otherwise implying that joe doesn’t know what he’s talking about when he says he’s unlabeled and uses any pronouns like. guys. he isn’t lying and he isn’t confused. he’s an adult and he clearly knows quite a bit about these things, given he talks about them frequently.
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torgawl · 1 year
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the arguments homophobic people make against same sex couples raising kids makes literally zero sense considering they raise no problem to single parent families. the problem really isn't that there's an absent gender, because if it was they would chase and/or blame single parents and they don't.
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blujayonthewing · 8 months
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speaking of my own blorbos tricking me into doing nice things for myself, I just invested in some expensive but, it sounds like, really nice leather sandals with soft soles, and the reason I want them is that they're cute and look comfortable and I don't have any good sandals right now and one of the reviews said 'I've been going barefoot full time for the last 8 years and I love these sandals'
but the reason I found them is that I was looking for footwear that felt aesthetically appropriate as a compromise for dressing as aubree in places that don't allow going barefoot
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mizugucci · 10 months
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i start my new job the 16th and as much as ive enjoyed being online this much, it isnt something i usually do lol. i will likely go back to lurking & posting like, 7 gifsets a month
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unnecessarilygrandiose · 11 months
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i have this fic idea but i haven't written anything creatively in EIGHTEEN MONTHS and i am afraid i forgor how to write
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pepperpixel · 2 years
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Big old art dump of evil me and my friends!!! Cuz,,, fun to draw..!! nice.. makes me happy ghghghg- like. Idk! I just like drawin us bein off the shits together it gives me joy
#original#original art#it me#evil me#doodles#evil ghast#evil davve#the yotsuba pic was started a while ago which is why davve has a slightly diff design in it..#bUT HONESTLY?? I LIKE THAT ONE BETTER?#like.. I just forgot some of the details I changed when doing the newer ones but. I LIKE THOSE CHANGES#like the flower instead of the bow.. I think that’s good#I’m gonna try and remember that next time I draw evil davve ghgh#I have in fact made a yotsuba parody pic before in my life but.. I’m allowed to do more than one ok gHGH#there is no law that says you can only do one in your lifetime. I can do as many as I want it’s fUN#anyway yeah… fuckin love my friends… so much…..#they r the best…#these r all pretty old.. like a couple of months at least ghghg#but! finally posting them now! behold. art literally only for me and my friends ghghghg#ghghgh no jk. I think the art turned out good so! hopefully others can still enjoy them too from an artistic standpoint#even if they don’t give a shit about me and my friends evil fictional versions of ourselves lol#my hair is actually longer then this now.. and planning to grow it out more#so next evil me u see might have a diff hairstyle lol#just cuz idk I’ve had short hair for quite a few years now! I like to shake it up every once in a while!#kinda sad I’ve chosen the summer to start growing my hair out tho ghghg. but I’m committed to it now! heat can’t stop me!#I’ll just put it in a ponytail and shit I’ll live!
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man-i-dunno · 11 months
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I love when people are like "oh you're spoiling that dog!"
Like yeah.
What else do you want me to do
Also if I'm the one paying for it then what do you care
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beeapocalypse · 2 years
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cannoneer images
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blackccelebration · 1 year
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Isn't it sad when you tell people what you want for yourself in the future and they say you're too young, you'll change your ideas, etc etc?
#how do i convince people i will NEVER EVER get married or live with a man (that's the same thing for me anyway)#i respect people's wish to get married (pretty much everyone around me) but everyone gives me side eyes like 'liar you didn't find the#right person then'#they're brain rot i think 😶 just wait watch me and see my future then!#i'll say what my great aunt who never got married and lived a very happy life unlike married people (!!!)#i have better things to do my life than be some stranger's slave. and also i rather live alone like really alone#that live with a son of a bitch that makes you work for him. gives 0 help around the house. and when you try to at least have a#nice chat he starts screaming and god knows what more because everything is a competition for him#or because he knows more than you or something like that#yeah i'm making the description of my own father lmao. living with him is like being alone but there's that dead weight in the room#ruining everything. but from what i see from other couples it's the same in every house#and also it happens with women!!! women being the awful and the dead weight ruining everything#my uncle has that thing with his wife#my aunt on the other hand can't even complain of life because the husband is a shit person#but he can complain and drink too much ofc 🤡#like all i see is people chosing to marry some guy or some woman and ruining their lives#why would they think i'd want that for me??? i can ruin my own life i don't need others to do it for me lmao#it's pretty easy! so my plans for the future? convincing my mom to get the divorce and get her to live with me!#i can come and treat the old man because yeah i don't leave family behind even if they're shitty#but them together?? no go fucking get the divorce!! he doesn't even do anything at home when she is sick#like if you want to be treated as shit is enough to have a job. you don't need to get married for that
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