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ssamie · 3 years

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ten. love is war!

oikawa tooru x fem langa!reader

(hq x sk8 the infinity)

warnings: spelling mistakes, swearing, 2k+ words, u have langa’s blue hair sorry

gen masterlist. "snow" masterlist

oikawa grumbled under his breath as he walked alongside of y/n. normally, he would be more than happy to be hanging with her so casually. but that certainly wasn't the case at the moment, seeing as, not only is iwaizumi with them, but also the five other friends of hers

"hey hey, where are we going exactly?" oikawa whispered to her

y/n peered back at him and smiled "well, we're just going wherever. it's been pretty long since i last saw my friends, after all" she said "but you can stay behind if you don't wanna come with oikawa-san" she said with furrowed brows as she took notice of his grumbling

oikawa took one quick glance at reki and grumbled even more as he shook his head "no, im coming with!" he huffed

y/n nodded and chuckled sheepishly "okay, oikawa-san.. tell me if you need anything" she said

"hey, actually.. am i even allowed to be here?" oikawa asked with a look of dread as he looks around them

joe, cherry, miya, reki, and shadow were casually chatting along and yet he felt a little left out.

"of course, oikawa-san" y/n reassured him with a smile "why? do you feel awkward?" she asked him. she then averted his eyes towards iwaizumi and mused "even iwaizumi-san is getting along with them quite well" she said

oikawa sweat dropped and followed her line of sight "that's cus he's bonding with joe over some weird crossfit stuff!" he exclaimed. oikawa sighed and stared longingly at his best friend "even miya likes him" he playfully cried "all that kid does is bully me and call me a slime" he sulked

y/n sweat dropped and chuckled at his antics. "well then, you can stick with me if you want" she mused. "i won't let you feel left out, oikawa-san" she chuckled "since you did the same for me when i fist joined the team, remember?" she smiled

oikawa stared up at her with comical tears flowing down his cheeks and beamed "thank you! you're the best, y/n-chan!!" oikawa cheered

y/n laughed as the brunette hugged her arm and leaned down to rest his head on her shoulder. "you look silly oikawa-san, please stand straight" she sweat dropped as she struggled to walk with his towering form clinging onto her

oikawa laughed and did as he was told, though still keeping their arms locked together. "dont be like that, y/n-chan~" oikawa cooed "y know you love me" he grinned cockily

y/n chuckled and sighed "sure, oikawa-san. whatever you say" she said

from behind them, reki watched with a smile as she and oikawa goofed around. he's always happy to see her so lively and becoming close with new people, after all.

"well..??" miya mused as he gestured to the two with an expectant look

"well what?" reki tilted his head in confusion

miya rolled his eyes and pulled him down to his height to whisper "aren't you gonna do something?" he asked

reki furrowed his brows and let out a sheepish laugh "what do you mean?" he asked "what do i need to do?"

miya sighed in exasperation "you're so stupid. no wonder you can't go up from your position as a slime" he said

reki huffed and ruffled his hair, making miya groan in annoyance "don't call me stupid! also, what're you even on about?" he said

"what're you gonna do if she suddenly gets together with him?" miya asked him

reki blinked in response and let out a nervous laugh "what..? what kinda question is that?" he mused

"and what kind of answer is that?" miya spat out in annoyance "you know what? whatever" he said "just don't blame anyone but yourself if y/n suddenly finds a new best friend and gets a boyfriend that isn't you" miya sneered

reki frowned and hit him in the head, making miya whimper "shut up! she won't do that" reki said with a meek laugh

reki peered up at her, watching as she listened to oikawa with a weary look on her face as he rants to her about something stupid with his usual charming but cocky grin.

"she won't do that." he muttered to himself. "she promised."

soon, all of them had arrived at some random restaurant since y/n and reki had been complaining about food for about an hour straight, and frankly, cherry has had enough.

"y know, you probably should've declined adam's beef" reki mused. y/n raised a brow and looked at him in confusion "what? why?" she asked "i won either way.."

reki sighed and turned to look at her "well yeah, but adam's totally nuts! and didn't you promise you won't skate with him anymore?" y/n gulped and looked away from him "i did promise that didn't i.." she mumbled

"well, it's whatever." she waved it off "it already happened. besides, im totally fine!" she grinned

reki watched as she went to grab some of the food, only for her to wince as her wounded hand grazed the hot bowl. "ow" she winced under her breath as she cradled her hand

reki sweat dropped and laughed at her "see? what'd i tell you" he mused as he went to grab her hand "here, let me see—"

he couldn't seem to finish his sentence since he was beaten to it by oikawa's interjection. "tsk tsk, y/n-chan you gotta be careful you know?" oikawa playfully scolded her as he grabbed her hand and gently massaged her palm to try and ease the pain down

y/n huffed and nodded along as she let's oikawa hold her hand for a while longer "sorry, oikawa-san" she muttered as oikawa playfully pokes her cheek to annoy her

"hm." reki pursed his lips as he let out a low hum, watching the scene play out with partial confusion and annoyance

"haha! be careful next time!" reki exclaimed with a grin as he ruffles her hair and pulled her closer to him, making oikawa loose his grasp on her. "yeah sorry" she grinned sheepishly as she looks up at reki with reddening cheeks

reki side eyes oikawa and sends him a smile, to which the brunette responded to with an irked and painfully forced smile in return

"haha, well then.." oikawa mused "here you go, y/n-chan" he said as he held a sushi before her with his chopsticks "you should let me feed you since your hand's pretty messed up" oikawa suggested with a smile

y/n looked up at the brunette and then down at the sushi and eagerly nodded. "okay!" she said as she went to chomp on the sushi, only to be met with nothing.

"eh?" she mumbled in confusion as she stares at the chopsticks which were now empty

"actually, i'll do that!" reki interjected with a sweet smile as he snatches the sushi from his chopsticks with his own "here, y/n! say 'ahh!' " reki cooed as he held it to her with his hand cupping the underside from crumbs

"oh.. um.. okay?" she muttered in confusion as she turned to face reki with her cheeks slowly heating up "a-ahh" she smiled nervously as she went to eat the sushi, only for it to be snatched away once again

"my my, reki-kun~" oikawa cooed with an irked smile "you shouldn't pass around people's food" he said "now it's all mushy and gross" oikawa stiffly laughed as he put away the sushi and reached for a new one

reki took a deep breath and sent him an equally irked smile as well. "ah is that so?" he chuckled "my bad.."

"have this instead then, y/n" reki said as he reached for a dumpling and held it to her mouth

"have this instead, y/n-chan~" oikawa cooed as he held the sushi to her mouth as well

"oh..okay.." y/n sweat dropped as she looked at the two boys beside her with a look of dread. "actually, maybe i'll just finish my drink for now—"

"ha, see! she didn't want the sushi anyways! haha what a shame!" reki cooed as he taunted oikawa

"well apparently, she's also not in a dumpling mood, is she, reki-kun?" oikawa cooed back through gritted teeth

as the two boys telepathically argue, y/n sat quietly as her stomach grumbled, wanting nothing more than to eat at the moment.

"geez. those two slimes really are a good-for-nothing" miya said with a sigh. he then turned to y/n with a smug cat-like grin and held his chopsticks out for her

"guess i'll have to feed you instead" he cooed with an evil laugh

y/n beamed and happily munched on the food, "thank you, miya" she said with a smile as she lets miya feed her the meal

miya chuckled and sent the two boys a smug smirk. reki and oikawa deadpans at him and huffed. "did he just." oikawa muttered "yeah he did." reki replied

"just how long is this gonna go on for?" shadow sighed as he watched oikawa and reki subtly shove each other by masking it with friendly smiles and conversations

"dunno, but im enjoying this!!" miya exclaimed as he happily let's y/n feed him as well

shadow deadpanned as he watched the boy purr and roll around like an over joyed cat.

"well of course you are" he sweat dropped

"man, just how long til we get there?" reki groaned out as he shuffles around in his seat

"but it's so boring! why can't we just skate there" reki huffed as he reluctantly planted himself still in his seat

"you're not a child. stop acting like one or im kicking you out of this car" cherry said in annoyance

"because it's too far and everyone here will pass out from the heat" cherry responded with a sigh "also.. if its so hot.." he trailed off. "then why are you two cuddling as if its the peak of winter?!" he exclaimed as he gestured to y/n and reki, who was pressed against each other as they both practically melt into a puddle

"because reki said he missed me" y/n replied "so i wanted to comfort him"

cherry peered down at her with a grimace as he took note of her sweat drenched face, and her meek smile "you're sweating all over the seats. that's disgusting." cherry deadpanned

"but i don't want reki to be sad" she reasoned

"he looks perfectly fine to me" cherry shook his head in exasperation "and you." he averted his eyes towards miya "what are you doing?"

miya looked back at him and grinned sheepishly "we're bonding, don't you see?" he cooed with a playful scoff

"bonding?! who the hell said that?! get off me!" oikawa exclaimed as he tried to pluck miya off of his lap

"we're bonding!" miya hissed at him "it just so happened that theres an ac directly above you, so this position is necessary" he said

"piss off, catboy" oikawa playfully scowled at him "if it's so hot then take off that damn cat hoodie you have on!"

"no way!" miya exclaimed as he tried to pry away oikawa's hands, thus causing more chaos within the car

"hey stop moving around!!" shadow scolded them from the driver's seat "and you two love birds! stop sweating on my seats!"

"we're not sweating on them!" reki exclaimed

"its practically river back there, shut up redhead!"

cherry had a look of dread on his face as he managed to just sit and endure the whole thing. though that was soon ruined as he turned to look at joe and iwaizumi, only to find them arm wrestling like a bunch of crazy gym freaks.

"arm wrestling? really?" cherry scoffed in disbelief "in the middle of a car ride? in a moving vehicle?"

"dont worry kaoru!" joe mused "im totally beating this kid"

"yeah right" iwaizumi grinned as he slammed joe's arm down with a look of triumph

"what the?!" joe spluttered "no way! kaoru! he cheated i swear!" he exclaimed

"i don't care" cherry grumbled back "hey, step on the gas and just take us there for christ's sake" he said to shadow with a weary sigh

"geez, no need to tell me twice" shadow replied

"WOAH!" reki and y/n cheered as they looked around the empty skatepark "SO COOL!" they exclaimed as they ran around the open space

"how'd you find this, oikawa-san?" she asked the brunette with sparkling eyes "i didnt think miyagi even had skateparks!"

reki perked up and faced him "girls? do you have a girlfriend already or something?" he asked the brunette

"oh? you like it here huh?" oikawa mused "then let's go again sometime" he suggested "also, one of the girls at school told me about it" he said

"i don't" oikawa replied with furrowed brows "why?"

"no reason" reki cooed as he have oikawa a friendly pat on the back "just thought it'd be weird to be so close to y/n if you have a girlfriend"

"but you don't so it's fine.. totally fine.."

"oikawa-san is very popular at school so he has a lot of fangirls." y/n explained as she skates past them

"popular?!" reki exclaimed in surprise "you're popular, oikawa-san?!"

"huh? so what if i am?!" oikawa huffed in response "and why are you so surprised?!" he narrowed his eyes at the redhead. "well i didnt think you would be famous like that" reki said with a laugh "well i guess it makes sense since you're an athlete and all"

oikawa sweat dropped and peered down at him "i can't tell if you're mocking me or if you're being genuine" he said

reki smiled at him and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck "im being genuine" he said "its cool that you're a big shot athlete already at your age. you're probably really talented too" reki said "you're pretty admirable, oikawa-san . i can see why y/n enjoys being with you" reki let out a soft chuckle

oikawa's eyes softened at his words and awkwardly shuffled in his place. "you're pretty cool too, reki-kun" oikawa admitted with a sigh

"im kinda jealous of you, actually. you don't even have to try and yet.." oikawa trailed off as he watched y/n look at reki with love filled eyes from afar.

reki looked at him and tilted his head in confusion. "yet what..?" he asked

oikawa shook his head and waved it off "nothing, nothing. nevermind" he chuckled "just go skate or something" he said "i'm staying here"

reki grinned and playfully slapped his back. "don't be like that!" he laughed "you're the one who brought us here, so you gotta join in on the fun!" reki beamed as he dragged oikawa over to the rest of the group

"oh? have you two finally made up?" cherry mused as he watched reki drag oikawa around, while the brunette complains about the wind ruining his hair.

"made up? but we never fought" reki mused as he got in his skateboard

"you say that as if we didn't have to sit through your passive aggressive exchange during lunch" shadow sweatdropped

"eh? what'd you mean?" reki cooed "your memory's going stale, old man shadow!"

"im only twenty four!" shadow yelled back

"over already?!" reki whined as they reluctantly followed them to the car

"well, its already dark" iwaizumi said as he stretched his arms over his head. "and we've been here for hours"

"hes just sad cus he hasn't skated in forever" miya sneered as he skated past them and placed his board into the trunk

"fine" reki sighed in reply. "hey, was it fun?" he asked oikawa, making the brunette shrug. "it was fun, yeah.. though falling on my ass wasn't exactly the greatest" oikawa replied

"exactly! let's just stay here for a while!" reki pouted. "we can skate again tomorrow, reki" y/n said with a smile as she patted his back reassuringly

"don't worry, oikawa-san! you were actually pretty good!" y/n complimented him with a grin

"yeah yeah, you flatter me too much!" oikawa chuckled as he nudged her playfully with his shoulder

"anyways, im pretty tired." she yawned. "i think i'll just sleep on the way home" she said as she entered the car and sat down on the leather seats

"..."

oikawa and reki side eyed each other, shuffling on their spots as they send each other one last 'friendly' smile before sprinting towards the car, trying to claim the seat next to her.

"what the hell" iwaizumi deadpanned as he watched them push and shove each other as they fought for the seat beside her "i thought they made up already" iwaizumi sighed

"and are they really that dumb to not realize she's sitting in the middle." miya chimed in as he peered at the two with a grimace

"you can sit on both sides, slimes!" miya yelled at them

"oh right" they both muttered in realisation as they quietly take their seat on either side of her.

"ehem." reki fake coughed. "y/n!!" he cooed at her with a beaming smile

y/n looked over at him with tired eyes and smiled back "yes reki?" she asked as her cheeks gradually heat up

"if you ever wanna sleep, you can use me as a pillow" reki suggested with a grin as he patted his shoulder

"me too! but im probably more comfortable since reki-kun here would probably poke your eye out with his spiky ass hair" oikawa cooed with a sweet smile

y/n spluttered as she looked back at oikawa with a look of disbelief "what? his.. his hair?" she muttered

"awh! but oikawa-san, you might suffocate her with the amount of hairspray you have on to keep your hair in place!" reki cooed back with a giggle

y/n sweat dropped and nervously looked at the two boys as they continue to smile and beam at each other despite their awfully insulting words. "i see.." y/n nervously chuckled. "well, i appreciate it" she said

"no problem!" they beamed at her

"its been half an hour." miya commented

"yeah." iwaizumi nodded along "what's gonna happen next? i think i know."

miya hummed and side eyed them. "y/n's asleep." he muttered in a deeper 'narrator' type voice

"i see." iwaizumi nodded

oikawa hummed to himself as he slyly watched her head slowly starting to fall and instinctively lean against somewhere. "wow. this ride's pretty long" oikawa mused

"her head is falling." miya said. "i see." iwaizumi replied.

"mhm." reki nodded

a soft sigh could be heard as y/n's head slowly falls towards reki's direction, causing a smug smirk to form on his lips

"the slime won." miya clapped quietly, with iwaizumi sulking for his friend

oikawa gritted his teeth as a vein popped out of his temple out of frustration. he swiftly grabbed her head and dropped it down to his own shoulder, waking her in the process from the sudden pull

"what the..?" y/n mumbled as he looked up at oikawa in confusion

"nevermind! the other slime won by force!" miya commented as he glared at oikawa while iwaizumi smiled proudly

"what're you doing?!" reki exclaimed as he grabbed her head and forcefully rested it on his shoulder instead

"im letting her get comfortable, that's all" oikawa mused as he placed her head back onto him

"reki?! oikawa-san?! what are you guys doing?! " she frantically asked as she felt her head being shook around, and her neck coming close to snapping

"shh! sleep!" oikawa shushed her as he held her close and gently ran his fingers through her hair. "i- why are you guys pulling on me?!" she shrieked out

"okay that's enough." cherry sighed as he turned around to hit both boys on their head with his fan "let the girl rest. and stop fighting." he sighed "just sleep altogether or something"

"how?!"

in the end, oikawa and reki ended up resting their head on her shoulder while iwaizumi rests peacefully beside them. miya, however, was sprawled out on top of them with his head on y/n's lap and iwaizumi holding his legs down to keep him from slipping

all in all, it was a cute sight, and whether they admit it or not, joe, cherry, and shadow definitely took loads of pictures.

"geez." joe sighed

"these kids are making me feel old" he mused "when was the last time we were like this, kaoru?" he asked as he gestured to their sleeping figures.

"since never." cherry deadpanned "not once did we ever do that" he said, making joe sweat drop

"sheesh, atleast play along or something"

sorry for the spelling /grammar mistakes if there are any :>

idk if this is good i'm so sorry 💀

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turning-dreams-into-chaos · 5 years

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Banished (Part 19)

*Not my Gif*

Summary: When the 100 was sent to the ground, Y/N Y/L/N was one of them. Having been locked up for almost 8 years, how will she react to surviving on Earth? Especially when she gets banished…

Post Date: 10-11-19

Paring: Bellamy Blake x Reader (Major Slow Burn, literally dont think I even mention Bellamy in this one 😂 )

Word Count: 1.6K

~Banished Master List~

~Master List~

*Based off episode 2x06 of the 100 “Fog of War”

Hey Kane.” You spat, not giving him the happy reunion he so wanted. He couldn’t help but look over your body, his eyes widening tremendously as he saw every cut, every bruise, every rip and blood spot on you. And it was all his fault. He didn’t want you, he put you in the hands of those monsters. He sent you to earth.

It seemed like all either of you could do was stare at each other and you could see the way Kane’s eyes started to water and he tried to swallowed the shock in his eyes. You looked towards Jaha who didn’t look like he was going to be any help as he stared at you as well. You rolled your eyes, shifting back into the shadows and taking a seat again. It wasn’t like you had anything to say to them.

“You’re alive.” Kane whispered, and you had to hold back a scoff.

“Alive.” You repeated slowly, letting your eyes close and a humorless laugh came out. “For lack of a better term.”

You could hear Kane get to his feet but you stayed put, blocking them out. “Y/N.” You couldn’t take this, being locked in here alone was awful, but being locked in here with one of the people who abandoned you and threw you to the wolves was worse.

“No.” You grumbled but Kane wasn’t giving up. He kept saying things you didn’t listen to until you snapped, pulling your knees up to your chest and burying your head into them. “NO!” You scrambled to your feet, facing the man who almost looked scared of your new found attitude. “Now you wanna talk? Where were you 8 years ago?”

“Y/N-“

“No! I needed you! I needed you Kane and you left me! You left me and this is who I became. This is on you.” Your throat seemed to be screaming at you and you couldn’t tell if you were crying because at this point you wouldn’t be surprised at it. “Just leave me alone Kane. I don’t need anything from you. Not anymore.” Kane just nodded his head, letting a few tears fall and wiped them away, taking a seat next to Jaha as you retreated back to your corner.

You listened as Jaha and Kane talked making your head pound so much it felt like you could hear your own heart beep out of your chest. You almost jumped out of your skin when the door was thrown open a few grounders were brought in as well as Lexa. She looked at you before turning to the other men.

You watched in silence as two grounders began to beat up Jaha.

You watched in silence as Kane pleaded for them to stop, telling them you all come in peace.

You watched in silence as the one you assumed to be the commander told you all about the massacre in a village.

And you watched in silence as he pulled out a knife and tosses it in the middle of the room.

“One of you three will die today by the other’s hands. We’ll hear the terms of surrender from the two who live.” He said before leaving Lexa to watch over the three of you. You felt sick to your stomach, you knew if someone was going to be killed today it was going to be you. Like Jaha told you on your first day on the ground; you were the expendable one. It seemed like Kane could read your mind as he looked at you shaking his head. You swallowed meekly and listened to Jaha question Lexa as Kane joined in.

“There were 18 of our people murdered. Elders, Children.” Lexa informed you but you weren’t looking at her instead your eyes were locked onto the steel blade just a few feet away from you. “If you refuse the commander will use it to slit your throats.” She said as you finally looked away, catching her eyeing you with a sense of sadness you knew you didn’t deserve.

Kane and Jaha were relentless as they tried to find any way out of this predicament but you couldn’t take it anymore. “Can we just stop all this! You know what’s going to happen so why don’t we get it over with.” You ignores the confused looks on their faces as you moved towards the knife, barely getting your fingers touching it before Kane kicked it away.

“No. There has to be another way. We aren’t killing each other!” He shouted as he yelled at you, pulling you off the ground. You pushed his wrist off your arm and glared at him. He didn’t look at you as he focused on Lexa. You took the opportunity to reach for the knife, this time you managed to grab without Kane stopping you, but it was actually Jaha who was the one to speak to you first.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” He asked with caution, making the room silent as you didn’t look away from the blade.

“There isn’t another choice. I’m the expendable one here. They need you both more than anyone’s needed me.” You admitted with a quiet voice, a slight quiver as Kane took a step towards you. You held the knife up to him, telling him to stay back from you as all the eyes on the room met yours individually. “You know what’s actually pretty funny. That girl you called expendable” you pointed the knife towards Jaha, “ was the same girl you thought locking up would take care of your problems” The knife was now pointed toward Kane before you threw your hands up in’ the air. “The funny thing is the girl that you knew died when you didn’t want her. She died the moment you put your sorrow before her life. You ruined me Kane. I’ve killed, I’ve been tortured, I’ve been beaten, I’ve been banished, I’ve been rap-“ the words were caught in your throat and it pained you to talk anymore. You almost told them. You almost told them the one thing you swore you would take to your grave, which looked to be sooner rather than later. Kane looked taken back by your words, almost as if he caught onto the missing part. “You killed her.” You whispered, “ You killed me by letting me live with my damages.”

It felt like the world went in slow motion as you turned the knife toward your wrists only for Kane to try and pull the arm away. You wouldn’t let him though, fighting back his hold as you stared at his face. “You don’t have to do this. We’ll find another way Y/N.”

“You don’t have to when the outcome is what everyone needs.” His grip faltered at that and you used it against him, knocking his feet out from under him before you slit your wrists. The yells of Jaha and Kane were drowned out as the first bits of blood ran down your skin and you begun to get lightheaded and fell onto the ground

It didn’t take long before Kane was wrapping some bandages around your wrists, making you groan at the feeling. Kane was so occupied with you that he didn’t see when Jaha picked up the knife himself and press it against Lexa’s throat.

“Jaha no.”You shouted as Lexa stood unfazed with a knife at her neck. It sickened you how she could be so calm. You furrowed your brows before watching Jaha with caution. “Jaha. Jaha, you know this isn’t the right thing to do. She hasn’t done anything to you. If you kill her there’s nothing you can do to come back from it. You’re gone and in your place is a murderer. Trust me I know what it’s like to lose yourself Jaha, just put the knife down.” You never thought you’d ever be laying in here on the ground pleading to Thelonious Jaha to spare a grounders life but here we were. Jaha though made no move to listen to you, keeping the knife held against her neck.

The Grounders can back into the cell as you moved to sit up. You didn’t really expect to see them again.

“Take off these chains.” Jaha ordered as Kane worked another angle, appealing to the innocent side of the them instead of threatening.

The next second you probably would’ve missed if you weren’t directly looking at the them. Lexa turned the knife on Jaha and started talking in Grounder and you could only pick up certain parts Lincoln had taught you.. Yet everything made more sense when she put on her amor and you smiled.

“You’re the commander?” You asked, shocked as Lexa nodded. “Badass.”

She approached you and Kane and you had to admit you were worried. “I've learned much about you, your intentions are honorable you desire for peace is true. Free that one.” She ordered, pointing at Kane as he looked between the two of you. You had refused to look away from the other girl. “We’ll talk later. Use his friend as a message for the rest of his people.” The Grounders followed Lexa’s orders and you held your breath, waiting and waiting for her to tell them what to do with you but she didn’t say anything. Instead they all left you there alone in the cell with Lexa once again.

“What about me?” You asked, skipping right to the interesting stuff. Lexa gave you her smile and the power behind it finally made sense. She was the commander.

“All in due time Skai Kiler.” She said before turning around and leaving you to enjoy the name you were given by the Grounders. You couldn’t tell what was worse, the nickname or the fact you were infamous amongst the Grounders for killing them. But it didn’t take long for you to figure it out. The worse thing was not knowing what Lexa had planned for you.

Thoughts on this chapter? What are your thought!!

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(Strikeout means I could tag you!!)

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geminimoonbeamx · 5 years

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The Lost Girl Chronicles Part 1: Hexs and Heartache

A/N: Soooo, this is a very random update from me. I know. But you guys know my love of Chase Collins and I thought I’d give you guys something because I know I’ve been in a writers drought and that’s not fair to y’all.

Word Count: 10k+

Warnings: Mature/Explict material. Smut from the get go. Talks of self doubt, that maybe be triggering. Sacrilegious themes. And everyone knows I have the dirtiest mouth and curse like a sailor.

Summary: You’ve been hooking up with Chase, secretly, since he moved to Ipswich. After a series of misunderstandings and even worse, miscommunications, you find yourself emerged in the dark underworld of Ipswich.

I wanna be your lover, I don't wanna’ be your friend. You don’t know what you got til’ it’s gone my dear, so tell me that you love me again- Noah Cyrus, Again.

-One Month Ago-

You whimper as your thick thighs lock around Chase’s lithe waist, his hips moving- plowing fast, your whole body swaying with his effort.

“Oh god, oh fuck- Chase” You cry, one of your hands taloning at his shoulder and the other looking for purchase in the leather interior of his fancy car. At first, the narrow bench of a backseat had been daunting but the two of you had made due.

“You feel so good for me baby, shit, so tigh” He coos into the soft skin of your neck where he’s nuzzled his face. Where his hot panting breaths scold your flesh.

Baby. Oh, the way he says it…

It makes you clench around him and let out a sob as you feel a rush of adoration surge through you. The way he’s got you held in his big arms, your body feeling small in a way that was usually so foreign to you was hypnotic. Addicting. Felt so good that it still shocked you.

You’d never known sex could be like this. That someone could be so animalistic, so passionate and yet so tender. Chase pulls his head from it’s place to look at you, his powder blue eyes enveloped by his dark, blown pupils.

He loves the way you look when your getting fucked. Your hair a mess around your flushed hot face. Your eyes wild and needy little sounds pouring like a river from your swollen mouth.

Your stare is desperate as his eyes that gleam like molten silver in the dark car fixes on you.

He has you at that point, the one where you know only he’ll be able to quell the almost terrifying feeling bubbling inside you.

“It’s okay pretty baby- you’re okay” His voice is soothing, is gentle but his thrusts aren't. He’s so deep inside of you, it’s almost as if you can feel him in your chest. “Come for me- do it. Fucking do it, Y/N”

He demands, you squeak and both of your arms go to wrap around him, as though he’s anchoring you to this realm.

When you reach your crescendo, its with a wail, your body tightening all over pleasure rushes through your limbs and then crashes over your pelvis in waves.

God, oh god. Only Chase can make you feel like this. Make you go off like a live wire. Make cosmos explode behind eyelids clenched shut so tight it almost hurts.

His hips start to stutter and you feel him go taught, his lips crashing to yours and kissing all the air from your lungs as he begins to come himself.

Chase is loud during his throws, you've learned. Vocal- moans and grunts. Broken little curses as his face screws up and he shoots off deep inside of you, nearly crushing you in his vice like embrace as he clings to your body for dear life. A tether in his sea of bliss.

When you both come down, he relaxes himself on top of you, lets himself be cradled by you, your pillow like curves welcoming. He doesn't release his hold of you either.

His head is resting on your bosom, and your fingers are training through his thick, messy mane. Fingertips massaging his scalp in a way that has him purring as he lazily laps at one of your large, puffy nipples.

It makes your back arch and you push him away “Fuck, stop!”

“Why?” That ever present mischievous glint in his eye is back, full forced “Feel too good? Is Miss ‘let’s go another round’ worn out?”

It makes you feel overheated, flustered and maybe a bit shy- and look away from him. Your sexuality, and its insatiable nature, was still pretty new to you. Still taboo and a little embarrassing, even though you know it shouldn't be.

“Hey” Chase untucks one of his arms from under you, so that he can grab your chin, grip it in that way he knows you love and make you look at him. “Hey, don't get like that. I love that you love to fuck- you know I do”

You roll your eyes, but you can't help the grin that stretches across your face.

He makes you feel so wanted.

“Well I think three orgasms is my max for the night. Especially in this car- fuck, could this back seat be anymore uncomfortable? I think your seatbelt buckle stabbed my spine”

At that Chase lets out a deep belly laugh and shakes his head as he leans up, his now limp member sliding out of you. You wince a shaky little sound escapes as you feel his seed dribble out from between your legs where you now gape, due to his rough fucking. You feel empty and a soiled and fuck, you hate this part.

Chase presses kisses to your cheekbones and you shake your head, glowering at him with as much heat as you can “You came inside of me again, you humongous prick!”

Again, with that laugh. The one he found himself emitting when you were around “I’m sorry”

He didn't sound sorry at all. He lays back down, after he’s cleaned himself up with his t shirt and nuzzles at your stomach.

You can’t help it, you still get so unsure when ever he goes near your tummy. It isn’t flat, not even a little. It’s big, covered in stretch marks and every guy you’d been with before had gone out of their way to avoid it...yet Chase tends to gravitate towards it. Likes to lay on you and grab at your sides and press kissed all over your middle. Says it’s soft and cute.

Makes you feel vulnerable, opened up to him like you’d never been for anyone else.

“I can tell” You deadpan, the matter of his cum inside you still at hand “I’m serious Chase, what if I get pregnant?”

Imagining a baby with his pretty eyelashes and dimpled cheeks isn't so bad...but imagining your dreams for the future- crushed by a teenage pregnancy? Yeah, not happening.

Your dad’s disappointed glare also flashes through your mind and that has you clenching your thighs and sitting up, totally turned off and dried up.

“Dont worry” Chase cajoles, reaching for you even when you try to slap his hand away “ I promise, we’re good”

For some reason you believe him. He made you feel so safe, and cared for. Adored and happy-

But only when the two of you we’re alone.

That thought had plagued you ever since that rainy night in the back of his car weeks ago.

Yeah, Chase was friendly enough in public, at school. The two of you we’re chummy, that much was obvious. But he didn't kiss you in front of your classmates, never held your hand or whispered to you just how beautiful he thought you we’re like he did in those moments of solitude.

All you got we’re shared looks and smiles. Friendly hugs and pats on the shoulder-

And lately, well lately you haven't got much of anything. Chase had been distant, spending all of his time with is “new best friends” aka the “Sons of Ispwich and co”- co being their girlfriends. One of which you’d watched flirt with him like crazy mere months before. You clearly remember the looks Kate had given across the bonfire at the Dells.

Ever since the ‘Fall Fest’ and the whole debacle of Putnam barn burning to the ground- Caleb harrowingly saving both Chase and Sarah from a fiery death, it seemed he was attached at the hip to the raven haired ‘Son’.

You tried your hardest not to be jealous. He was making friends, and that was good right? You shouldn't be a bitter bitch about it, right?

But why was he ignoring you... Blowing you off at every turn? The two of you hadn't slept together in a month and a half- hadnt gotten together to hang out and share a spliff in his car, or taken the long night time drives that had turned into something like a lullaby to you.

The low hum of the radio and Chase behind the wheel was hypnotic and you longed for that sense of contentment. As though the world around you, outside of the car was null and void and only you and Chase and the little bubble the two of you created existed.

But every time you tried to get a hold of him, reached out- you got the same answer. He was busy.

Chase: I’m sorry, babes. Maybe another time? I’m really busy right now.

Mostly all of the texts you’d received from him lately looked similar and honestly your spirits we’re past dampened.

You we’re bummed as hell.

Because you really liked him, and yet he seemed to be shaping up to be like every other guy you’d ever encountered. The cycle that you’d been through various times seemed to be repeating itself with him and it honestly terrified you.

You we’re his secret.

The girl who was pretty enough have sex with, to lavish attention on in private- but too fat to claim in public. You just weren't desirable, you’d deduced a long time ago.

You were not what guys wanted- at least not to the world.

Through Dm’s and texts- mobilized and in the shadows? Yeah, you got hit on all the time. You were fully aware you had a “pretty” face. But bringing the big girl out and around your friends? No teenage boy your age had grown the balls needed to claim someone like you.

And now he was probably sick of you. Over the little “tryst” and trying to let you down gently.

It hurts so fucking bad, even though you try to deny it. To go about it as though you we’re okay, with smiles and jokes. Ignoring the ice prick like pain in your stomach all the while.

Your friends can see right through it though.

Fall had come swift to the small New England town of Ipswich, painting it in hues of golden amber and rust, leaving everything feeling homey and quaint...

And cold- the chill seemed to have swirled in with the wind and the mornings were frosted with frozen dew.

The first snowfall would be any day now.

But for now, nature was content with rain. The frigid kind that was practically snow, but seemed to melt before it hit the ground and just left everything soggy and freezing. The walk through campus from the dorms to the main building, though it short, was torturous and you found yourself longing for the warmth of your bed long into third period.

You we’re already grouchy- the cold plus the early hour had your face stone like. A natural pout etched onto your features. Really, you we’re just resting it, but you’d been told that it looked like you we’re plotting serial murders when you weren't smiling.

How exhausting. Being expected to wear a smile all the time, in the hopes of appeasing people.

The day goes on as it usually does; droningly. Your eyes droopy as you listen to your professors, as your hands seem to work of their own accord to scribe out notes. It’s utterly mundane, normal-

You we’re longing for something to break the mold. To rip you from your funk-

Until you over hear something that makes your heart sink into your chest...lower and lower until you’re scared it might fall out of your ass and onto the linoleum floor of the girls bathroom you’re in and you curse yourself for not accepting mundane.

You had just been minding your own business, emptying your bladder before study hall, when Kira Snider and Coco Lindell had walked in.

“I’m so done with Aarons shit- he’s such of good for nothing dick. You heard his father's firm going under? Didn't you?” That was Kira, the naisaly quality of her voice distinct.

“Psht” Coco had said back “His father's firm? More like a bunch of half cocked DA’s who got a decent loan and thought they we’re going to make it big. Their biggest client was some mayor- in Jersey. Pshtttt, bitch”

You had smirked silently, but felt a little odd listening into their conversation from behind a restroom stall. You felt like a creep but you’d waited too long now- might as well just continue to wait it out until they left.

You regret it, sorely. Wish you would have gotten up and out the moment they’d come in because their conversation soon turned to Chase- and you'd been forced to listen to them talk about the guy you’d been gaga over since the day you’d met him.

Your heart being ripped to shreds with each word spoken from their painted mouths-

“He looks like such a good fuck. Like you can just tell. Boys with baby faces usually are packing the biggest-”

“Coco!”

“What? I’m serious. You should totally fuck him when he takes you out this weekend. Prove me right”

-In silence. On the toilet, a hand clasped over your mouth to keep in the sounds that so desperately tried to escape your throat.

When they’d finally left the bathroom, completely unaware of you and the breakdown they’d caused- you’d exited the stall, catching a glimpse of your mascara tear stained cheeks in the mirrors.

It made your stomach roll and you'd ran the sink, using folded up damp paper towels in an attempt to wipe away the evidence of your heartache.

Your furious scrubbing at your eyes had left you appearing racoonish for the rest of the day.

“You look especially pleasant today” Adrian says as he sits down at the chair across from you at the table you’d found in the crowded library.

It just takes one glance, your big eyes meeting his for what seemed like to seconds for him to frown, his playful atmosphere instantly turning more serious, curious.

“Are you okay? What happened?”

He really did know you too well- which was to be expected considering the eleven year friendship you shared. He was your best friend, the person who knew you better than anyone. And of course he’d been privy to your “situationship” with Chase. Hell, he’d been there when you’d met the guy-

So as you pour out the details of what you’d over heard; of Kira and her rebound with Chase.

Of the dates they’d been on.

Of how she wanted to sit on his face until he drowned,

how much she loved the same stormy eyes you did.

How they we’re going to the towns annual Thanksgiving parade together. The one that you’d been desperately, pathetically, stupidly, hoping he’d accompany you to.

Adrian absorbs it all, shaking his head. Frowning, his face scrunched up beautifully even though he was so obviously distressed that you seemed to be so devastated about it.

“Bullshit. No way? Kira, really?” He makes a very distasteful gesture with his tongue that looks like a gag “How foul- I thought he had better taste than that”

You just nod, trying to focus on your Psychology paper, on the words. Hoping to distract yourself, even if just a little bit. Just enough to keep you from letting your emotions bubble back up to the surface.

“Listen, boo- I know you like him. Like way more then I think even you realize, but I think you should kick his trifling ass to the curb”

Of course, you shake your head. That was Adrian's logic- life was too short to take bullshit. He’d taken it all throughout his childhood, taken verbal(and physical) beatings for just...being. He’d grown, and was still growing, into someone so unapologetically himself- that he hoped it would one day rub off on you.

“You deserve more then some guy who only calls you to fuck. And yes, said fucking might be amazing, but is it worth it? Worth getting blown off and feeling like garbage? Have some sense of self worth, Y/N” He could also be blunt, so blunt people mistook it for rude.

And sometimes, he was rude.

“Fuck you” You shoot at him at that. Already defensive and raw from the bathroom debacle “I do have self worth”

“I’d hope so! You’re an amazing person- and yeah, I might be biased but if vaginas were my thing I’d totally make you a 50’s breeding machine house wife” He says casually “I just don’t get it- Kira? Why?”

“Why wouldn't he? She’s everything guys like him want”

“Which is what, pray tell?” Adrian folds his arms on the table and gives you a serious look.

“Well she’s rich as shit, there’s a starter” You point out and he rolls her eyes, but he can't deny you there. Kira is rich as shit. Her father owned dozens upon dozens of car dealerships.

Sleazy ran in the family apparently.

“What is he into other then that? Her faulty nose job that makes her look like Will Ferrell?”

You snort. Usually neither of you were the type to tear on your fellow woman- but Kira was a special case. Venomous and vain and out rightly nasty, you really didn't have anything nice to say about her other then the face that she wasn't as stupid as people painted her to be, and-

“She’s what all guys want; thin and pretty and white. Of course he’d go after her, Adrian” you let it out with a sigh, defeated sounding.

And even though Adrian spends the rest of the hour lecturing you on self love, and how wrong societies form of “european beauty being the norm” was, all things you knew, you felt torn down and tired for the rest of the day, battling the Friday afternoon, more than ready for the weekend that you knew you’d most likely spend the entirety of moping.

You see Chase, standing with his friends- flocked at the benches outside after the school day is over.

He smiles at you- waving.

Looking friendly and open, as though he hadn't been treating you like utter shit. Betraying you- using you as a quick fuck while he took other girls on dates. Leading you to believe that maybe, just maybe he liked you...all the while pursuing Kira.

You just frown, hard, at him for a fraction of a second, not waving back or acknowledging him before you turn to your friends. Walking away, leaving him feeling a little confused at your reaction.

“Rejected” Reid sniggers, all of them having seen the exchange and Chase glares at him, but accepts the hash pen from the blonds nimble fingers.

“That was weird. Y/N is always so friendly” Sarah interjects, leaning against Caleb “I was actually just talking to her during first period and she seemed fine?”

Chase shrugs, tries to physically shake it “I don't know”

“She’s cute” Tyler chimes and funny, it’s the one called “baby boy” by all who always seems to be the most mature. Who doesn't care that he could be ridiculed for calling the fat girl cute “Arent the two of you still messing around?”

Chase doesnt like this, this conversation that circled around him. He’d been raised to be secretive and it all made him uncomfortable.

“She has a nice ass- of course he’s still talking to her” Pogue deduces and Kate just nods in agreement before adding, “Kardashian fat without the needles. Lucky bitch”

God, those two had the oddest relationship.

Conversation soon drifts from talks of you, but his mind doesn't. Swirling thoughts of your frown, of the way your eyes that were usually clear and bright had clouded...and then hardened in a way he’d never seen.

He knows something is wrong when later that night he shoots you a text, and you dont reply. Not fifteen minutes later. Not an hour-

After three hours he realizes he’s not getting a reply and he falls into a restless sleep.

Saturdays’ chaotic all day, the Covenant meeting with Caleb's uncle who also happened to be the towns mayor. There was a demon, another one, on the loose that needed to be taken care of. That leads to the rest of the day being bled away in the Danvers family carriage houses’ basement which doubles as an ancient witchcraft filled library.

Its like homework, more stacked on top of his already towering pile from school. He reads ancient texts until his eyes cross and they’re all begging Caleb to have mercy on them and give them a fucking break.

He’s been texting you all day. Or at least trying to. He hasn't been able to get a hold of you- all of his messages opened and read, and yet left unreplied

Chase: Hey:)

Chase: I feel like I haven't hung out with you in forever, I’m starting to miss you

Chase: I know your starting to miss me too

Chase: ? Y/N?

He’s composing his fifth text of the last few hours when Caleb shakes his head.

“What?” Chase snaps at him. He could be so condescending sometimes and it always set off Chase’s temper.

“She still hasn't replied to you yet? What did you do to her?”

Caleb's voice always has that...sage quality to it. Like he’s going to help you fix all your problems and it, too, drives Chase crazy. Like his newfound “brothers” felt the need to baby him. God forbid he loose it and try to steal everyone else's powers again.

“I didn't do anything” Chase hisses at him and that earns him chuckles from all the men in the circular, dungeon like basement.

“Translation: I totally fucked up and I just don't know where yet” Pogue teases “Tell her your sorry, give her a coupe orgasms and order pizza and she’ll start to get over it...What? It always works with Kate”

Chase frowns at that. You weren't Kate though, didn't love drama. You’d just tell him if you were upset, wouldn’t you? Communication was your key- what you seemed to thrive on.

“She’s not like that- She’d tell me if I’d pissed her off”

There's groans, and chuckles and “Aw man’s” at his statement and Chase is starting to hate this whole having coven assigned brothers thing already.

“No, she’s a woman, dude. It doesn't matter, this is just how they tick. You’ve gotta’ suck it up and apologize- not just with head and pizza” Caleb interrupts his advice by giving Pouge a pointed look “but by really talking to her- I mean, that is if it’s worth it to you. If you’re really into her”

And Chase is. He knows he is. He also knows that his life has been taken over by the supernatural and he hasn't gotten to spend a lot of time with you as of late, but that last night in his car seemed to be on a loop in his head.

He missed your fingers in his hair and they way that you made him laugh.

Chase pursed his lips and shrugged and Caleb rolls his eyes and goes back to his research.

“Real shit, girls really aren't that complicated. All they want is to feel valid. Like they matter, like they’re not getting screwed over or played stupid and honestly- you’ve been spending so much time with us lately that I highly doubt you’ve spent any with her.

And on top of that, you treat her like she's just a homie at school- you’re so frigid with her that you might as well fist bump her next time you see her.

I wouldn't have any idea the two of you fuck around if we weren't friends, you keep it that low key. So yeah, wouldn't you get pissed?” That sonnet, that explanation of the female perspective comes from none other then Reid Garwin. He really wasn't the fuck boy womanizer everyone thought he was...or maybe he was- but he had a gooey center. Romantic as fuck at heart.

Cupid in the flesh.

The guys all stare at him for a moment, silent and big eyes. Like what he was saying was more complex and harder to grasp then the Ancient texts they were reading.

“But pizza helps too, I swear” Pogue is an idiot.

And apparently so is Chase.

His texts, and then calls, go unanswered all weekend, and he’s not used to the rock like lumps he feels in his throat everytime he picks up his phone and sees that it has no notifications. Your name void from the screen of the device.

Even though he knows you have your phone in hand. He checks your snapchat and spots that you’re out with your friends, dinner and a movie. Joking and smiling and fine…

When he tries to check your other social medias, see if your Facebook(and he hasn't even logged on to the app in weeks, since his life had turned into a real life episode of ghost adventures) had any clue to as why you seemed to be pissed at only him, he’s gobsmacked to learn that you’ve unfriended him. He stares at the ‘Add friend’ element on your page until his eyes burn, trying to ignore the way he feels like he’d been slapped across the face.

His confusion turns into haughty anger. Because he’s Chase fucking Collins and girls had always flocked to him. And he really thought the two of you had some sort of...he doesn't know. Psychic bond? He’d never talked to any girl like he talked to you. Never came as hard as he did when he was inside of your tight, wet cunt.

The thought of you and your sex makes his eyes roll into the back of his head and he bites the top of his phone case as he thinks about it. About how much he misses your soft body. The round belly he loved to cradle- your breasts. Huge and welcoming and perfect to bury his face in when the world was just too much for him. Your thighs that you hated but that he loved to slide between-

When a chirp comes from his phone he has it pulled up close to his face at a shamefully fast pace, hoping that you’d finally come around. That this had all just been some weird misunderstanding and-

His spirits fall and his lips pull down into a frown as soon as he sees the name on the screen.

Fuck, he hisses, annoyed.

He should have never given his number to Kira at that party a few weeks ago. But he’d been drunk and she’d been so flirty and...well, he was a teenage boy. He never claimed to be perfect. Actually, he was far from it.

Kira was hot, no doubt. Redheaded and petite...but she was annoying as fuck an had a mean streak that made his look miniscule. He really wasn't interested and she didn't seem to get that. He kept running into her everywhere, and it was a rare day that he didn't get some kind of message from her.

Tonights was her offering up a midnight meetup-

Kira: I’m lonely. Let’s hang out later? I stay up late ;)

Chase frowns. Yeah, his dick is already stirring, and hasnt been touched since almost a month ago- but the idea of having late night hangouts with anyone but you is almost sacrilegious to him. He couldn't. He wouldn't...late nights in Ipswich we’re for long drives with you, blunts burning and conversations flowing. They were therapeutic and happy…

And fuck he missed you so much.

“If that’s worth it to you” he hears Caleb’s voice in his head “If you’re really into her”

And Chase has known that he’s liked you since...well pretty much since he met you but this feeling he gets is something different.

He really...he really needs to get a hold of you.

He sends you a few more messages, completely ignoring Kira’s in turn, and when he doesn't get a reply- just like he expected he wouldn't, he’s jumping up from his bed, rummaging for his shoes and his keys.

The weekend had been brutal for you.

You hadn't really realized just how deeply your feelings ran for Chase until they had been stomped on, and your heart felt achy and strained. You’d spent all friday night sobbing, happy that Reyna, your roommate had a little kick back to attend so that you could sob your heart out in peace.

“Are you sure? I can stay?” She had always been so sweet, and you we’re happy as hell to be rooming with someone you not only could stand, but actually liked.

You’d sniffled, eyes red rimmed and forced a smile that looked more like a painful grimace.

“No, please. One of us needs to get cute and have a good time tonight. Go- have fun. I’ll be fine. Really”

You we’re far from fine. You’d never really cried yourself to sleep before; life had been kind enough to you in your young years that you didn't feel the need to-

Movies romanticize that shit, intensely. There’s always the pretty heroine main character who gets her heart broken, sobs herself to sleep and then in the morning is fine-

You fell asleep, hard. Stiff. With tears still falling steadily down your cheeks, your neck, and into your shirt. The blankets pulled up over your head.

And woke up feeling like a corpse. Like you had been hit by a motherfucking freight train. Your face was swollen, and your nose stuffy. Your sinuses screamed at you and were congested to hell and back. Your shoulders hurt and as you sat up, wincing at the sunlight your head pounded.

No one ever told you that crying for ten hours straight felt akin to a Mad Dog 20/20 hangover.

Adrian had showed up that day, and along with Reyna and a bucket load of snacks and an order from that new health cafe in towns circle (because you were dehydrated as fuck from crying your body weight in tears. Who knew?)

You slowly started to regain your motor skills after your body is filled with green juice and poppyseed bagel.

Still, your head was laid in Adrians lap and you made him feed your favorite flavored pringles.

Your phone had been steadily beeping all day, and each was a new text from Chase. At first you refused to even look at them, trying your hardest to zone them out, but then curiosity got the best of you. The need to see what he had to say overpowering you.

He’s so nonchalant it makes you mad. Furious. Stabs of anger over the already painful throws of betrayal caused the pain you're feeling.

He tells you he misses you, and that he knows you miss him and your upper lip curls.

“He’s such a fucking prick” You glare at the texts and Adrian and Reyna share a look.

This is what you did, frequently. You weren't comfortable being sad, depressed...vulnerable. So you raged. Because anger was an emotion you were actually comfortable exploring.

And rage you did.

On Chase. On the situation. And then on yourself. Because what a fucking idiot. You’d been so stupid.

You do petty, irrational things like unfriend him on facebook and erase the couple pictures of the two of you you had on instagram.

You can't bring yourself to go through with deleting the picture that you’d snapped in his car.

It was a dark night and the two of you had drove to the middle of nowhere; you'd managed to get an aesthetically pleasing picture of the burning blunt, the bottom of Chases handsome smiling face in the background. His perfect jaw and white smile. The dimple in his chin more pronounced than ever.

You hate how much you miss him.

Chase sends you twelve texts and calls you over five times over the course of the next few days but you ignore them all. You almost break, a couple times.

Chase: I know I must have done something wrong? Can you please just answer me so we can figure this out? Please?

And for anything else, you think yeah. Maybe you could have figured it out. You could have figured out the fact that he ignored you for a month. That he blew you off at every turn. That you’d sucked up your pride and all but begged for even ten minutes of his time, just to have him deny you.

You could have figured out the fact that he was keeping you a secret. That he pretended he hadn’t had his tongue in your pussy when you were at school- that you two were just good friends.

But Kira? Him messing with other girls? While he ignored you….

It was just too much. You’d taken too many blows to your self worth and you couldn't do it anymore.

Adrian and Reyna are godsent and make it their responsibility to keep you busy. Force you to shower and get ready; even if it is only a sweatshirt and a pair of furry slides. You go see the new Seth Rogen movie and eat at your favorite little mediterranean place in the town over, the one where Adrian gets flirty enough with the waiter and scores you guys a couple rounds of house blend margaritas.

You didn't want to do anything in Ipswich, for fear of seeing him.

The weekend actually goes by quickly. Too quick. You dread school on monday where your avoidance of Chase will inevitably be harder. Where you’ll see Kiras smarmy face in your Biology class and think about the two of them and what they spent their “date” doing.

Sunday night is calm.

You and Reyna are pressed together in her bed. Lounding and draped in plush blankets as your laptop that is propped up by pillows plays episodes of Game of Thrones. Somehow your friend had fallen behind, and you being the huge nerd you were, were more than willing to catch up on the season she’d missed.

Your phone chimes, but it’s across the room on your desk and you figure it’s either a Facebook notification or another bullshit message from Chase so you ignore it. It’s getting late anyway, and you’re far too comfortable and warm to get up and journey over to check it.

About a half an hour later when you hear quiet knocking at your door you and Reyna both look at eachother, the light from the laptop and the noise of a gory battle in the background.

“It’s like 11:30” she announces the obvious and you fight the urge to roll your eyes as you get up and pad over to see who it is.

Probably Brenda- the hall manager of the floor. She could be a little neurotic and take her “job” a little too seriously. Probably making her rounds, a second time to make sure lights are out.

You step up on your tiptoes to peak out of the small window like port above the door and what you see causes your whole body to freeze up.

The air in your lungs gets stuck and you literally go immobile. Eyes wide and your mouth falling open, before you crouch down- hoping to not be seen in the foggy glass panes.

“Y/N! Who is it? What’s going on?” Your actions had sparked fear in Reyna who jumps up and hurried beside you. You really needed to stop letting her watch all those serial killer documentaries with you.

“It’s Chase” you whisper frenziedly to her, from the ground.

“Chase?! Oh my god, he’s here?!” Why does she sound a little excited? Wonder mixing in with her shock.

Also, why the hell is she so loud?

“Yes! Shut the fuck up! Shut up!” You glare up at her, slicing your finger to your mouth as you signal for her to be quiet.

She shakes her head , but at least now she speaks in a whisper “Y/N, he knows your here. We have to answer. I’ll answer it-”

“No!” You shake your head.

“Yes- go like hide and i’ll say you’re not here and-”

You just keep shaking your head.

Maybe he’d leave? You knew he knew you were here, but maybe he’d think the two of you we’re asleep and he’d go and you wouldn't be forced to face him-

“You guys do know I can hear you right? These walls are paper thin” Chase’s deep, even voice sounds from outside the door and another wash of dread makes you close your eyes. This was NOT happening.

“Y/N...please just talk to me” He sounds so...forlorn. Tired. Pleading. It physically hurts to hear his voice.

“I think you should hear him out. Or I mean, at least say what you need to say to him” Reyna advises, her honey eyes comforting as she urges you to do what you know you need to “Plus he’s going to wake up Brenda and get us all demerits and I am not down for detention”

You sigh. Knowing she’s right. You we’re going to have to put on your big girl panties and face the guy who had tap danced on your heart, and although it sucked, you didn't really have another option.

You wanted to crawl into bed and bury yourself under your comforter, but instead you stood up, trying to straighten your old, oversized sweater.

You’d imagined confronting Chase a lot in the past few days- but none of those fantasies where you we’re a boss bitch and told him how badly he’d fucked up included you being in your favorite pair of flamingo pajama pants.

You took a deep breath and opened the door, cracked it really, to where only with half of your body visible as you peeked out into the dark hallway.

Chase was standing there. Hands in his pockets, looking at you with those blue eyes that seemed to catch all of the residual light in the corridor. He looked...tired. His body seeming to both tense and relax as you came into view.

“Uh...Hi” He greets softly, the side of his mouth pulling up. Yours stays in a frown.

“Chase? What are you doing here? It’s after curfew-” you start in, your tone unamused, crossed.

“I know, I’m sorry. I just didn't know how else to get a hold of you” He interupts, trying in vain to quell your annoyance “I really needed to talk to you”

“I really dont think there’s anything we need to talk about” At your words his face contorts up. In confusion, and blatant hurt.

“What? Y/N, what the fuck is going on? I think we have a fuck lot to talk about, actually. How about the fact that you’ve ignored my messages all weekend?” His voice is raising, and you sush him. He really is about to wake up your dorm supervisor and you tell him so.

Chase sighs, he’s not going to wake up anyone. He’d put a concealment charm on the entirety of the hall- save your room of course. No one could hear anything going on outside their rooms at the moment.

But of course he can't tell you that. There's so much he can't tell you and he hates it.

“Okay fine. You’re so worried I’m gonna wake someone up? Let's go for a drive, we can talk in my car…” He knows he’s going out on a limb even asking you that but he cant help how badly he hopes you’ll say yes.

He begs whatever celestial deities there may be that you’ll agree. Because fuck, he didn't realize how much he missed you. Your hair is messy and undone and your face is free of makeup and you look so damn soft in your pajamas...at least what he can see of you.

You’re still peeking out from behind your door.

You shake your head and look down “I can't”

“Why not?” He’s got that edge to his voice again. That one that’s near pleading “Y/N...I promise we’ll just talk, and drive. And maybe smoke a little bit- but that’s all, okay?”

You knew what he was saying. That he didn't come here for sex, because most of the time that’s what you’re late night drives lead to.

You really want to say no. You wish you were strong and resilient. Like Adrian. You wish you were the bad ass woman you we’re in your head, that you could tell him no and slam the door in his face and be done with it.

But you’re not, you’re just a teenage girl and you huff, tell him to wait a minute as you grab a jacket and slip on a pair of moccasins and tell Reyna you’ll be back soon.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” She wonders as your shuffling into your shoes.

“No”, but you grab your phone and M.K purse anyway.

You end up in Chases passenger seat as he drives down the winding back roads, and it’s somewhere you’ve been so many times and yet...it feels so different tonight.

You keep your arms folded over your chest, leaning against the door, as far away from him as possible. Wondering why the fuck you’d come with him in the first place.

The vents blow out warm air and music plays softly from the sprakers, and yet the atmosphere couldn't be more frigid.

You hadn't spoken more than one word answers to him since your room and now you weren't speaking at all. He’s taken aback by just how mad you are at him. You’d never been so cold to him and he really doesn't know how to manage it.

He lets you stew in your silence until he pulls up at a clearing in the trees. It faces a little field and can't be seen from the main road. The two of you had found it a couple months ago when school had started.

He stops the car, shifting the gear into park. His hands are still on the wheel, gripping it anxiously as he tries to figure out what exactly to say to you.

“I uh- I’m sorry” That seems like the right thing to say, but you just scoff and tighten your arms around yourself.

“I really am. I know I’ve been distant lately and that hasn't been fair to you...but I wasn't doing it because I’m not interested in you, or seeing you, anymore” Chase sounds nervous, and it’s a far cry from his usaul cock sure dispositon “My life has just gotten really...fucking messy and I didnt mean to make you feel like I didn't want you in it anymore”

You can't help it, something in you snaps. He really is a fucking piece of work, really thinks he can play you. “Want me in your life? How? Like this” You gesture to the car, to the darkened woods outside “Calling me up in the middle of the night and fucking me in the woods when your bored and horny? I get it, you’re ashamed of me. You’re not the first guy whose don't this shit to me, but I’m done”

“I’m not ashamed of you, Y/N” He tries to reach for you, your words making him wince, but you pull away from him. Shaking your head, vehemently.

“No don't. Don't say that. Don't lie to me anymore. You are ashamed. Fucking the fat girls not good for your reputation, right? No. No I get it. I wouldn't want to embarass you in front of your friends” there are unshed tears in your eyes and your voice keeps breaking, straining as you try to keep from letting them fall “Why don't you just keep screwing around with Kira and leave me alone”

There is so much there for Chase to digest that he doesn't know where to start.

“First off, don't say that shit. I’m not embarrassed of you, and I could give a flying fuck about my reputation” He spits the word incredulously. You had no idea just how bad his “reputation” really was. No idea the horrible shit he’d done. He couldn't care less about what his school yard peers thought of him.

“And secondly screwing with Kira? What? I barely know her”

“That’s great. So you’re fucking some girl you barely know...I let you inside of me without a condom, Chase. I never do that! You know you’re the only one I’ve ever done that with and now I’m-” you take a pause, to breathe through your nose in an attempt to calm down “Now I’m a little freaked out about what you could have given me”

Again, he feels like you’ve slapped him. Fuck. How is it that you’re able to wound him, by doing so little?

“I couldn't give you anything because I haven't been with anyone since we started fucking” He’s upset. It shows, he sounds pissed and you hate it.

But also...a sick part of you loves it.

Good. You hope he’s feeling even a fraction of the bad you’ve been feeling for weeks.

“You dont have to bullshit me, I already know about you and Kira, no thanks to you. It’s whatever at this point”

“There is no me and Kira so whatever you think you know is false. And whoever you’re getting your information from has fucking sucky intel” He hates this small town and this tiny school full of gossiping simpletons.

Was this why you we’re so upset with him? Because you thought he had something going with Kira?

“Actually I heard it from Kira herself so one of you is obviously lying” You’re defensive still. Unbelieving and closed up.

“And you really think it’s me who's lying? After everything? I’ve told you things I’ve never told anyone else...and you think I’d look you in the face and lie to you about Kira fucking Snider?” Chase’s own voice cracks, he’d told you about his childhood. About his shitty abusive adoptive father.

It makes you bite your bottom lip, hard.

You don't know what to think. How to feel. What to believe. So you tell him about what you’d overheard in the bathroom, not sparing any details and he listens in pure disgust.

He can tell you dont believe him and that really sucks. Really hurts him. “I’d believe you over anyone. Anytime. You wouldn't even have to say anything- I’d never take someone else's word over yours”

“That’s so unfair! And you know it” You’re trying to stay mad, you really are, but the tears in your eyes that are starting to leak aren't from anger “You basically ignore me for over a month, and okay your life's been stressful, but I’ve been here. Begging you to open up to me. What am I supposed to think, Chase? I know you don't want to be with me...you make that obvious enough. But I feel...you make me feel...so much”

For as eloquent as you usually are, you can't manage the words. Can’t form the sentences. Are there even words, for what you feel when you’re around him?

“I’m sorry, baby. Please don't cry” He whispers as he reaches for you once more. This time you don't yank away, but you also don't melt into his embrace like you usually do.

You’re stiff, as you harsly wipe at your face. Smearing the tears away as they fall.

His own eyes sting at seeing you like this. “I don't want Kira- I don't want anyone else but you”

You squeeze your eyes closed and he gives your thigh a reassuring rub “I do want to be with you Y/N. There’s nothing about you that I’m ashamed of”

“Bullshit” You hiccup. It’s honestly easier for you to believe that he was screwing Kira then that he wanted to be with you.

“Why? Why do you say that?”

“Because guys like you don't end up with girls like me. This is real life and that’s just not fucking possible” You croak the words and he sighs.

He knows, although you really do keep a pretty good lid on it, the self doubt you harbor. The way you see yourself...how conscious you are of you body. Of everything about yourself.

“Girls like you?” It’s a rhetorical question and you huff and try to push his hand off your thigh. He barely budged.

“Yeah, Chase. Girls like me”

“I’m not...Kira. Or Kate or Sarah. I’m…” You choke on the words.

Fat.

Ugly.

Unwantable.

Embarrassing.

“Sexy? Funny?” Chase supplements and you shake your head and stare out of the inky window. You cant hear this. Can't accept it. It makes hysteria rise in your chest.

Chase makes a sound in his throat and reaches over the console, so that he can press closer to you. “Smart as shit? Sweet as candy...you are Y/N. You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met. Way to fucking good for someone like me...but I’ll take it. I want it. Fuck, I want it so bad. I miss you. I miss the way you sound when you’re begging for it”

You can’t help it. His words, he so good with his words. He makes you feel like you’re floating when he talks to you like this. Your head leans over and he presses his face into your hair. You can feel his little hot puffs of air in the sensitive shell of your ear.

“I missed you” you whimper in admittance. It had been so long since he’d been this close.

That seems to sober him up a little, clear his horny eighteen year old mind.

He sighs.

“I missed you too...but my life...is all fucked up right now. I wasn’t kidding about that”

You turn to face him, grabbing the hand that’s on your knee. Lacing his fingers with your own much shorter, plumper ones.

“Talk to me about it” you urge, gently. In that beautiful, silk-soft cadence of yours, the one that comes out for the the first time since you’ve been upset with him and it makes a part of him light up inside.

And then he sighs. Deeply. His head bowing a bit.

“I can’t”

“Why not? We talk about everything, Chase?” Your brows scrunch together as you squeeze his hand.

“Not this...I can't get you involved in this. It’s dangerous and...I don’t want to ruin you”

“Ruin me? What do you mean? I don’t understand”

Ruin you, he thinks. Ruin your perception of the world. Make you aware of the monsters that lived under your bed- of the darkness that crept in the shadows.

He just clenches his jaw so hard his teeth hurt and you hum and reach up to thumb at the flexing muscle in his cheek.

He looks at you and you drown in pools of argent blue.

“You’re so pure- no I’m serious. So good, Y/N. You don’t even know how- don’t even realize. And I don’t want to fuck things up for you l-I. We both know I’m good at doing that…” he gives a small, self deprecating laugh and you frown.

You really don’t understand what he’s trying to tell you.

“You’re good, too” he snorts and you persist “You are. You’re so good to me- even when I doubt you. You’re- you’ve been better to me then any guy has. Ever”

He reaches over then, closing the distance and pressing his lips to yours. It’s chaste, but sweet like syrup and you savor the feeling of his plush mouth against yours.

“You deserve all the good things, Y/N. But I am literally the opposite of good” He tells you as he pulls away, mouth still close enough to yours that you feel the words rather than hear them.

“I don’t understand why you think that”

“If you knew what I was...what we are, you’d understand why I’m not good. Why I’ll never be” He curses himself, he know he shouldn’t be telling you any of this but he can’t help it.

You’re like a beacon in the dark and he’s a moth to the flame. He loses all sense when it comes to you. It’s terrifying as it is thrilling.

“What we are? Who are you talking about? You’re acting like you’ve joined a cult or something” You search his face for any clue as to what in the fuck he’s going on about and then prices start coming together. Slowly but surely.

“But then again you kind of have, huh? You’ve been spending a lot of time with the Sons lately”

Chase can’t help but chuckle as he pulls back, rubbing a hand across his forehead “And you are way too fucking smart”

“I’m still lost though? What does you being “bad” have to do with them? And why are they bad? Stuck up and a little pretentious? Yeah. But bad?”

He shouldn’t have said anything. He knows he shouldn’t. Knows that now, there’s no way you’ll let it drop and that either he can tell you what’s going on or you’ll dig until you find it out on your own…

But maybe he always wanted to tell you. They’d told Kate and Sarah? And countless others who could be trusted over the years. Why couldn’t you know? Why couldn’t he have someone who made him feel a little less lonely in this underworld he lived in.

He turns to look at you “Y/N, I have to tell you something. And you’re not going to believe me- and you may flip shit...but I don’t want to keep secrets from you anymore”

You nod slowly, not knowing just what you were in for “Okay, it’s okay, Chase. You can tell me”

And he’s just about to-

When suddenly an inhuman screech cuts through the air. It sounds feral, animalistic- like nothing you had ever heard. Your brain has no picture to put with that sound, and your head snaps in the direction of the field. Searching for the cause of such can a horrible, eerie wail. In the distance, there’s a figure. It looks like some sort of goat…

But then it stands up straight on two legs. It has to be more than 6 feet tall- and its eyes are glowing bright red. Like two tiny pools of fire in the darkness.

“Oh shit” Chase curses as he starts his car, and he’s slamming his foot down and sending the car flying into reverse before you can even comprehend what’s going on.

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck” he curses as he swings the car into drive then and presses the gas pedal as hard as he can, the car lurching forward as the tires squeal.

You are sufficiently freaked out, to say the very least. Your heart is pumping fast and fear is shooting through you.

“Chase?! Chase what’s going on? And what the ever loving fuck was that” You hold on to the the armrest with one hand and the roof handle with the other as you squeal at him.

Chase is pushing 90 and it doesn’t seem like he’s going to slow down- if anything he’s going faster.

“It’s okay. Everything’s going to be fine” he tries to calm you down because he can hear the trepidation in your voice.

Really, it should be okay.

They’d found both a spell and a brewed a potion to vanquish the demon- but this wasn’t how he wanted to tell you. This is exactly what he had been dreading.

Bringing you into situations like this.

“Oh really?! You’re going like 100 miles per hour and I just saw...some kind of fucking creature in the field back there, right after we were talking about cults nonetheless. I’m not really feeling like everything’s fine right now. I’m actually feeling like everything’s the opposite of fine! Holy fuck that think had red eyes, Chase!”

“I’m a witch!” Chase Collins had always been bad with timing, and well- that hadn’t ever changed.

Time seems to go still and quiet as you try to process exactly what he just said. You’re not even breathing really.

“You’re a what?” Is all you can choke out.

“A witch- warlock actually. If we’re being technical”

It’s in his voice. You can tell he’s not fucking with you, that he’s dead serious. Although you have a very open mind and believe in all sorts of things...Chase being a warlock?

Your Chase? A magical being?

“I-“

“I’m sorry I’ve been awol, and that I’ve been lying to you but real, honest to god shit, is that me and Caleb, who is also a warlock, accidentally opened a hells gate on the night of the fall fest and let out all kinds of fucked up demons and I’ve been busy trying to round them all up and send them back where they came from. I wasn’t ghosting you. I just didn’t know how to tell you about all of this”

What he’s saying is insane. It’s a fast jumbled mess that pours from his lips, a confession he knows he shouldn't make. A truth he has no business telling you.

And yet he is.

“You’re telling the truth” you deduce and he gives you the side eye. A small glare that says ‘why the fuck would I like about this’.

“And that thing?”

“Is a Braxas Demon. They’re lower level- but still nasty fuckers. If you’d reach into the glove box for me” you do as he instructs as he talks “There” he refers to a small vile of bright purple liquid “that’s a vanquishing potion. If it tries to attack us, which I doubt it will, that’ll kill it”

Trying to be calm in situations like the one you’re in is futile. Honestly. Your adrenaline is pumping without your control and your flight or fight has been turned on. You can’t sit still and even though your terrified of what you’ll see you can’t help that you keep looking behind you out of the rear window, expecting to see that...demon in the road.

Chase calls Caleb, relays the information to him and you can only hear bits of it through the rushing of blood in your ears.

“I found it. Or I guess it kind of found me.

Up by hanged man's turn- that field. Yup.

I was driving with Y/N- yes she’s here with me. Yes, she saw it.

I had to tell her! It started to chase us!

Fuck you! You knew Sarah for a week before you spilled the covens secret, so spare me the lecture.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s still tailing us.

Okay, I’ll meet you there”

And that was the night your life changed forever.

@peacefulwriter88 @brieannakeogh @supernovasandcoronas @lostinspace33 @4theluvofall @geekyweed @tatathekissypotato @prettybubblesintheair @jaamesbbarnes @wi-atch @sad-af1121 @paulruddx @gifsbysimplysonia @sgtbootybarnes @shayla-markele

So I’ve had this finished in my drafts for FOREVER and I figured what the hell, I haven’t posted in a while and I thought I’d give you guys a lil something. I don’t know whether I want to keep this as just a little one shot- maybe a collection of one shots? Idk I just really love Chase Collins and the vastly under appreciated and under explored world of The Covenant.

#chase collins #chase collins x plus suze reader #chase collins x reader #chase Collins x plus size reader #plus size reader #plus size reader insert #sebastian stan x plus #the covenant #mofc #fofc

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placentaur-archive · 4 years

Note

why is specter knight the best knight (though more seriously tell me about how you see his relationship develop with plague knight)

see heres the thing both of those questions constitute equally long rants SO shit goes under a cut

[[MORE]]

why specter knight is the best knight (or more accurately, why specter of torment is the best shovel knight campaign):

STORY IT'S GOT SO MUCH STORY AND THE PACING IS ACTUALLY GOOD. both plague of shadows and shovel of hope have story to it too obviously but in SoH the pacing is kinda really..... not good. it's a big cutscene in the beginning and then a lot of meaningful dialogue at the end (not to say that dialogue wasnt good, the ending of SoH is what made me wanna see more of this game and sparked a 6 month hyperfixation). but like during the main part of the game the plot kinda gets lost. no one in the villages really talks about shield knight or the enchantress (save for a few people who congratulate you on beating a specific knight or the one dude in the armor outpost that says it was taken over by the order which is kinda rlly easy to miss anyway). so unless you're finishing this game fast enough to remember the original first cutscene it's not rlly gonna stick. PoS does a better job with pacing but the story itself is,,,,, not super interesting. it's just a dude who wants to make a potion so he can get super strong and impress his crush. the plot sorta does pick up 2/3s through the game after mona leaves the potionarium but ultimately the game is just About One Thing (SoH is also like this). SoT on the other hand has MULTIPLE plot lines that develop almost simultaneously. you've got specter on a mission to serve the enchantress that develops in the actual levels, you've got donovan's flashbacks to his quest with luan which happens in between levels, and you've got specter dealing with reize when you're in the tower. you could even say red's whole deal is a plot line because eventually if you're good enough at the game he does get his wife back and thEY DO A DANCE FOR YOU AWWWWW. but in the end all these plot lines come together (yes even red's if you collect all the skulls) and it's a big, narratively satisfying, emotionally crushing ending and its GREAT. the way that SoT develops characters that even SoH couldnt (cough cough shield knight) and gives us insight into the past and why things turned out the way they did is like,,,,, it's perfect okay

ALSO YOU GET TO SKATEBOARD ON YOUR SCYTHE HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT

how specter's relationship with plague develops:

I did a thread abt this on twitter a LONG time ago but I'm too lazy to find it bc finding old tweets is even harder than finding shit on tumblr so here's a list of events

- specter and plague dont know each other very well at all, specter just beat plagues ass that one time and now they work together and probably havent spoken since bc they both think the other is kinda weird

- plague during PoS is in the lich yard on his way to beat specter's ass so he can get a thicc thigh goth gf and finds the phase locket aka the locket luan gave specter. except plague doesnt know any of that shit he just finds a relic and hes like "oh cool I can sell this to chester for something useful"

- specter post PoS finds the locket missing and is real mad abt it

- however post PoS is also post SoH which means the tower of fate has fallen and the enchantress is no more which is Bad News for specter bc the enchantress was the only one keeping him alive oh god oh fuck

- so after a lot of back and forth with him, black knight finally convinces specter to go see plague knight bc plague is the only one who might remotely know what to do about this

- specter reluctantly goes to the explodatorium and plague and mona (who he's already kinda friends with so it relaxes him a little) agree to help him out

- somewhere along the line though specter finds out it was plague that took the locket and sold it to chester and now The Bird Man Is Dead To Him and he stops going to see him for help

- plague feels bad about it so he tracks down who has the locket now (shovel knight) and gets it back for specter

- specter gains 2% respect for bird man and when plague asks why the locket is so important to him specter very briefly tells him abt luan (mostly just "it was given to me by someone close to me, that person isnt around anymore so this holds a lot of sentimental value")

- time passes and they start seeing each other more often, even outside of when specter comes for treatment. they start learning about each other more and they learn their insecurities (theyve got shared insecuries about their appearance and their names, both of them are very against taking off their mask around anyone)

- one day specter decides fuck it and tells plague his name. plague can't reciprocate but he appreciates it

- they start taking to hanging out on the roof on what's left of the tower since no one goes there anymore and they can be alone together

- one day specter decides he can show plague his face and once he does plague gets very excited and is like "oH SHIT IM SENSITIVE ABOUT THAT TOO" and rips off his mask without thinking and suddenly they're both just kinda looking at each other and they realize they look a lot more similar than they thought and no one says anything for a few seconds before plague gets nervous and puts his mask back on and the moment is passed

- over time they get more comfortable around each other, specter doesnt mind as much when plague calls him donovan and he can show his face to him when they're in private together (and plague takes off his mask sparingly around him too)

- one day plague decides hes ready to tell donovan what his name is and he begs him not to tell anyone or even use it on him in private. specter says he doesnt have to tell him but plague insists that he wants to (I wont say what it is here bc it's just a dumb hc name and it doesnt really get used at all bc specter mostly just keeps calling him plague kkskgkdg)

- but that level of trust is there now!!! plague tells specter that no one else knows this much about him, not even mona

- and specter realizes he's been keeping information from plague and if they're gonna air everything out then,,,,,,,, well he might as well tell him fully about luan and reize and everything else that happened

-that night is rough for the both of them but it's also cathartic knowing they can trust someone enough to tell them about this

- eventually plague and mona come to the conclusion that to keep specter's soul stabilized they cant keep treating him forever because specter is going to live indefinitely and plague and mona are very very mortal SO the only way to keep him semi permanently tied to this world is to bind his soul to something else

- specter wants to bind his soul to plague knight

- plague is like NONONONONO I am NOT having that responsibility and I am NOT letting you die as soon as I do and convinces him to bind his soul to the phase locket instead

- I haven't talked about him at all here but by now specter is definitely dating propeller and has been for a while so whether u wanna see plague and specter as dating or just super close friends is up to u anyway I love these idiots thanks for coming to my tedtalk

#ive been writing this ask for like an hour please take it #asks #sk

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drewbarymore · 6 years

Text

the moment

Summary: bucky is faced with a question he can’t seem to find the answer to. Pairing: bucky x reader Word Count: 4.7k+ bc i dont know how to shut tf up Warning(s): hella pet names, a lil angst, sad bucky

a/n: happy birthday bucky!!

“You want to what who?”

Peter stiffens at the question, raising his arms up in a defensive stance. “Okay, hear me out—“

“No, no. It’s not an I-can’t-believe-what-just-came-out-of-your-mouth type of question,” Tony interrupts, raising a hand. “I just dissociated for a bit is all. Go on.”

You watch in amusement as Peter takes a huge relieved breath, nodding at Tony who takes a sip of his fourth (is it the fifth?) cup of coffee for today.

“Okay. I-I wanted to interview you for a project for my Marketing class. W-We have to start a business of some sort and advertise it. It just happens that we had to draw from a box what we drew was wedding planning. So you know, I thought it would be a great idea to interview couples. And then I thought of you. And by you, I mean all the couples in this tower.” Peter releases another deep breath after his explanation, bouncing both in excitement and anxiety with a gleam in his eyes, trying and failing to hide his excitement

You can’t help but smile, endeared by his eagerness, only for that smile to dim a little when you feel Bucky stiffen beside you. You squeeze his hand discreetly but reassuringly, keeping your eyes on Peter whose face was far too excited and adorably expectant to be able to say no to.

You were in the middle of doing laundry with Bucky when FRIDAY called you to the common room as per Tony’s request, not really specifying why. When you arrived along with everyone else, you’re greeted by the sight of Peter Parker standing awkwardly behind the couch with an incredibly tired-looking Tony leaning against a wall. Honestly, it amazes you how he still manages to hold himself up when he looks like he’s about ready to pass out any minute.

Silence beats around the room for a few moments, and each minute that passes, you can practically see Peter’s excitement fade and get replaced by shame.

You were about to speak up and just say yes after seeing him look down in disappointment but Tony beat you to it.

“‘Course, kid,” he takes a few steps closer to him and pats his shoulder, “you didn’t have to be so nervous. Sounds good to me. Sounds good, right?” He looks around the room, getting a collective nod from Sam, Nat, Steve, and you.

You beam with delight once you see Peter’s excitement come back. You turn to Bucky who only sported a faraway look, making your expression fall instantly. He sees your smile from his peripherals, and when he feels your gaze on him, he turns to look at you only to find the smile he was expecting to see now replaced by a look of worry. He tries to muster up a smile, but it does nothing to ease the expression on your face.

“Are you good with this, Buck? I mean, Peter has enough people, I think. We can pass up for this one—“

“Not if you want to. And I can tell you want to.” He smiles, leaning closer to you.

“I want to help, yes. But if it would make you uncomfortable, it’s a straight up no, and you know that, right?”

“Yeah,” he says, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb, “and I want to.”

He’s lying through his teeth, but he manages to force out a pretty convincing smile that made the tension in your shoulders drop, and he thinks it’s worth it. He doesn’t want you to feel like he’s holding you back from the things you want to do. He wants you to feel free with him. Always. He wants to prove to you—or maybe more to himself— that he can do this. It’s just an interview. Couple of questions and it’s done. Besides, he knows Peter. He’s a good kid, and he would never put anyone in a position that would make them uncomfortable, or at least intentionally anyway.

You smile at him before pressing your lips on his forehead, and he tells himself again, yeah, this is worth it.

“We can still back out, you know.” you say as you adjust the sleeves of his button down shirt that’s folded up to his elbows, eyes flitting over to his face as you hear him release another sigh. It was the day of the interview, and you could tell he’s getting antsy again, more so than he had been the past few days.

“No.” he says, voice certain, but his eyes, not so much.

It’s your turn to let out a sigh, cupping his cheek in one hand to get him to look at you and running your thumb on his cheek comfortingly.

A small smile threatens to make its way up your lips when he meets your eyes. A familiar warmth explodes in your chest as he smiles at you, the blue of his eyes getting lighter. You bite your lip when you realize that you just forgot what you meant to tell him as soon as he looked at you, so you press your lips to his nose instead.

“You’re beautiful.” you whisper.

He chuckles, pink tinting his cheeks. “Stop it.”

“What? It’s true.” You press kisses to his face again, saying one sweet thing after each one, making him burst into giggles.

He retaliates by pressing his fingers onto your sides and wiggling them, making you laugh out loud. You try to push him away from you but he only tightens his hold, pressing light little kisses all over your neck.

“I love you,” he murmurs into your skin, and you melt instantly.

“I love you too.” You wrap your arms around him tightly, heart and soul at peace.

“Buck? Y/N?” A series of knocks sound through the door. You make a move to step out of the hug to open the door and see what Steve wants, but Bucky doesn’t let you go.

“Hmm?” he hums in reply to Steve, face still buried in your neck.

“You two ready?” Steve asks, swinging the door open.

You throw a quick greeting to Steve, hoping he heard you as you try your best to look at him with Bucky’s head in between your neck and shoulder and your back to the door. He only chuckles at the sight before him, still patiently awaiting a reply.

“Are we, baby?” you gently ask. He nods in response, stepping around a little so now your sides are facing the door.

“I need your words, angel.” you coax.

His heartbeat picks up at the nickname, a dopey smile appearing on his face as he lifts his head to look at you. “Yes.”

“Oh, my god.” Steve mutters in mock exasperation from the doorway, making Bucky throws him a dirty look, mind flashing back to all of the teasing he had to endure by him about you turning him into a sap.

“Shut up. Go away.” he snaps, making Steve raise his hands in surrender as he slowly backs away, smug smile still on his face.

He waits for the sound of his best friend’s steps to fade completely before letting his hold around you loosen up a bit.

“Let’s go?” you ask, taking his hands from behind you and holding them tightly.

“Yeah,” He squeezes them and takes the first step out of the room, keeping in mind that as long as you’re with him, he can do anything.

Except that he couldn’t. He really, really couldn’t.

Missions, espionage, murder, anything really, he can endure. HYDRA made damn sure he’d be good at that. Just not cameras. Or talking about personal things. Especially not both at the same time. It goes against his instincts of hiding under the shadows and keeping as much information to himself as he possibly can, not really having anyone to trust for such a long time.

He shifts uncomfortably under the scrutiny of the lens as Peter writes something down on a paper behind it. Through his peripherals, he can see everyone else who went before them looking through the windows, much like the two of you did a few moments ago when waiting for your turn. One of the rooms in the tower was redesigned to look warmer, more comforting and homey with cream-colored couches, brown pillows, and plants. They made sure the interview took place in the middle of the day, with the sun out and its light illuminating the room.

Every single one who went before you got back quickly. Tony and Pepper were the first, and they told the rest of you that only one question was going to be asked, but they refused to disclose what the question was, claiming that the whole point of it was to catch the ones being interviewed off guard and get the most honest answer out of them— the first thing that came to mind. Bucky’s heart picked up pace at that, but not like how it does because of you. It’s solely because of anxiety. He didn’t want to mess up. But a look from you alone made the voices quiet down.

Right now, though, sitting beside you in said room in front of Peter, he’s so damn sure nothing could calm him down.

It was a simple question, really. So simple that it made the self-loathing inside him grow even more because he couldn’t come up with an answer for it.

“I just wanna know. What was the moment for each of you?” Peter had asked. “As in, what was the moment that made you realize you loved the other person?”

You smiled brightly at him upon hearing it, almost excitedly. And what Tony and Pepper said made so much sense now. It’s supposed to catch you off guard so that moment for you flashes in your mind and you just know. It seemed like it happened for you based on the way you’re smiling at him, and it makes him feel like shit. He couldn’t, for the life of him, think of anything.

He loves you. He lives for you. That’s a given thing. It’s the one thing he’s sure about and holds on to very tightly ever since he got shoved into another world after living a life much like dying under HYDRA. He loves you, and that’s a constant in his life. A sure thing. And he hates himself so much more upon realizing that he didn’t know when or how he did. That he didn’t have a moment, like you do.

After every wrong thing he’s done, he’s so sure that the only thing he’s done right is loving you. And now he’s not so sure anymore. Is he really even loving you right, like how you deserve, if he can’t come up with an answer to a question you so easily can answer?

Your lips are moving, hands flying about animatedly as you talk with that sparkle in your eyes, something that you only have when you’re with him, according to Steve. He sees you talking, but he doesn’t really hear what you’re saying, mind already too busy trying to come up with an answer and screaming self-deprecating thoughts simultaneously.

“What about you, Mr. Barnes?”

He feels like he’s being pulled out of water when he hears his name, except that it has the opposite effect on him. He now feels like he can’t breathe even when he’s already supposedly in land.

“Baby, are you okay?” you ask, and he couldn’t meet your eyes. Not because he’s afraid of seeing disappointment or hatred in them because god, he’d take that any day over what he knows he’ll see.

He tries to breathe properly and calm himself down as discreetly as possible, but it doesn’t work. He just wants to come up with something, anything that would fully express how much he loves you and not just some half-assed bullshit, but he couldn’t and he hates himself so much because he couldn’t even do one goddamn thing right for you and he wishes he wasn’t like this or that he wasn’t here—

The atmosphere in the room completely changed through the course of his silence, he realizes. The light you brought when you were the one talking is now replaced by the burden of his existence, and it breaks him even more.

You rub your thumb on the back of his hand, and he makes the mistake of looking at you, only seeing understanding and adoration, things he definitely did not deserve from anyone, much less from you.

“I’m sorry,” he manages to choke out before standing up and leaving the room. He passes the others by as he makes his way to the elevators, disappointment surely marring their features. What else would they expect from him anyway? From someone who fucks everything up?

The elevator door closes, and he heaves a ragged breath, hands instinctively shooting to his side to clutch on to something, only to realize that there’s nothing, or rather no one beside him. His mouth drops open in horror as it dawns on him that he left you in there. He walked out in the middle of the interview in front of everyone, not giving an answer after he watched you pour your heart into one and he left you to clean up after his goddamn mess. He clutches his hair in exasperation, wanting to just tear the doors of the elevators open and run back to you. But the shame and the fear of what you’re going to say to him makes him shrink back into himself.

So he locks himself into your shared room instead, like the coward that he is.

He opens one of the windows, making the cool breeze get inside as he wipes the tears that fell harshly off his face. He would’ve gone to the rooftop, but the security doors and walls offer is something he needs right now.

(Your arms around him beats that. But he knows he doesn’t really deserve that after the shit he pulled.)

But all of the false sense of peace he tried to build around him shatters when he hears the door open and shut. He doesn’t even have to look to know who it is.

Goddamn FRIDAY. Goddamn this tower’s tech. Goddamn him the most for being a mistake of a human being.

“Hey,” he hears you say softly. So softly understanding and love bleeds through the sound.

He doesn’t respond, clenching his jaws hard in an attempt to keep the new onslaught of tears from falling. He has no right to cry. Not when you should be the one crying and screaming at him for being a piece of shit.

His entire body shakes when he feels your arms wrapping securely around him. The tears fall and he can’t help but release a strangled breath, both from relief upon feeling you and guilt, so much guilt because he knows he doesn’t deserve this yet he can’t let you go.

He shuts his eyes tightly, steeling his heart and prying your hands off of him.

“Buck…?”

He stays silent, hoping you’d get the hint that he wants you to stay away for now. Because he’s no good and won’t ever be any good for you. And you don’t deserve that. You don’t deserve someone like him.

“I-I’m sorry.” you say. “We shouldn’t have gone, Buck. I’m so sorry.” Your voice breaks and he shatters. He caves in on himself, head in his hands and tugging harshly on his hair. He shakes from the sobs he’s trying to hold back, couldn’t breathe because of it. But he manages not to let a sound out.

You nod even when he can’t see you, wiping a few tears before stepping further away from him.

“I’m going to take another shower, okay?” you tell him just so he knows where to find you. Just so he knows you’re still going to be there, that you understand he needs space.

He doesn’t move until he hears the bathroom door shut and the water turn on. His nails start to dig unconsciously into his scalp, but he barely feels it, mind occupied with dark thoughts and heart filled with so much abhorrence for himself and so, so much more you. You and his love for you.

And he thinks maybe it isn’t enough. Maybe love isn’t enough because he’s a monster and he can’t and won’t ever be able to do anything right in this mistake of a second life he’s trying to build for himself.

But then he thinks of you. You and your never ending patience, your genuine and bright and only for him smiles, your soft eyes and lovely words, your I love yous and the countless different ways in which you tell him everyday. And he thinks maybe it is enough. So much more than enough and so much more than he deserves. God, he never stops wishing he could be better for you, but at the same time he’s selfishly praying you don’t get tired of him.

Before he could make sense of his actions, he’s stepping into the shower with you, shoulders slumped and fully clothed.

You jump when you feel his arms around you, more from the coldness of his metal arm and the fact that you can feel the fabric of the clothes he’s wearing than from his presence.

He pushes his face into the crook of your neck, nuzzling further, and you can only put your other hand on top of his arms around you.

“Baby, your clothes are gonna get wet,” you tell him softly, gulping as you feel his body tremble behind you.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles onto your skin, and your heart clenches in your chest.

“Your arm was just cold, is all. Nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart.” you say, knowing full well he’s not not talking about him startling you. It’s so much more than that. But you don’t want to push him about what happened earlier.

He shakes his head. “There’s so much. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”

You turn around and wrap your arms around his neck, caressing his back with one hand and running the other one through his already wet hair as best as you could.

“It wasn’t your fault. We shouldn’t have gone.” you coax, but he’s not having it.

“I wish I was someone better. Someone you deserve.” he chokes out, and you tighten your hold around him. Somehow, you can feel the difference between his tears and the droplets from the shower, and it almost feels like it’s burning your skin. You hate seeing him like this.

“I love you.” was the only thing you could say, your own voice shaking. He lets out a sob, a sound so goddamn broken and helpless it pains you. He slides down on his knees, wrapping his arms around your middle and pressing his face onto your stomach.

“I told myself I’m gonna be better for you. I swear, doll, I tried. But I can’t seem to do a damn thing right. I love you so much, but I can’t seem to do it right.” You can feel the uneven puffs of breath onto your skin and his hot tears, and you want to crouch down to his position but his hold on you is so tight you can barely move.

You try to pry his arms off of you, but as soon as he feels it, his head snaps up, eyes filled with panic.

“No, no, n-no. Baby doll, I’m sorry. I’m trying–“ his voice borders hysteria when you succeed on prying his arms off, but you quickly hush him by sitting down and taking his head in your arms and tucking it under your chin.

“I know, baby. I know you’re trying.” you say, still trying to keep your voice even.

“I’m sorry.” he weeps, hugging you back tightly.

“Shh, no. I love you. Nothing else matters as much as this. As much as you.”

He holds you tight, so close to him, and you tell him it’s okay. You don’t need his words. He’s shown you multiple times through numerous actions that he loves you. One time through literally taking a bullet for you, and you almost killed him for it, but you know that had the roles been reversed, you’d have done the same thing.

He loves you. He makes you feel it, and that’s enough. So much more than enough.

“Where are we going?” Your eyebrows furrow as he leads the way to wherever he’s planning to go, tugging you gently by the hand behind him.

He doesn’t answer, only smiling at you before the earnest look he’s had since breakfast this morning makes a comeback.

It’s been a week since the interview, and things are back to normal. That night though, he didn’t want to be apart from you in any way, making sure that he has your hand in his at all times, and when you fell asleep, he had his arms and legs wrapped around you, almost engulfing you with his stature. You didn’t mind, glad that at least he wasn’t pushing you away like he does sometimes.

The morning after that, everything’s back to the way it was. Nobody spoke of it, only Peter calling to apologize.

“Bucky, are we okay?” you ask again, squeezing his hand as the elevator goes up.

“Yes, doll.” He chuckles, pressing a kiss to your head.

“Then why won’t you—“

Before you can go on with your question, the elevator doors ding open, revealing the hall of a familiar floor.

“Just trust me, okay?” he says, running a thumb along your cheek, making you melt into him.

“Mmkay.” You sigh contently.

But again, your confusion grows when you realize that this is the floor where the room the interview took place in is. You’re walking right up to the room where it took place to be exact.

“Bucky—“

You’re again interrupted by the door opening, revealing Peter.

“Hey!” he greets, a smile lighting up his face. “It’s all set up. I was just about to go down, see if you changed your mind.” he continues, gaze directed at Bucky.

“No. Not this time.” Bucky says, still not looking at you.

They smile at each other, and you take that as an opportunity to finally talk.

“Okay,” you motion between the two of them, “care to enlighten me about what the hell’s going on?”

Bucky just gets behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and carries you inside the room, making you squeal from being lifted off the ground. Peter lets out a laugh, taking a seat as he watches Bucky waddle over to the couch, setting you down and plopping next to you.

You look around the room as the laughter dies down, apprehension replacing your joy. It looks the same as it did last week—cameras and all— and you’re kind of getting a hunch on what’s about to happen, making worry spring in your chest.

“Buck, are you sure?” you ask him.

He smiles and pecks your lips. “Yes.”

Peter clears his throat, grabbing both you and Bucky’s attention. “Okay, so…Mr. Barnes, what was the moment for you? The moment you realized you love Ms. Y/N?”

You take both of his hands in yours, ready to tell him sincerely that it’s okay if he doesn’t want to answer, that you didn’t have to do this again, but he turns to look at you and speaks first, and it makes your heart beat faster in your chest.

“It-It’s…” he stammers, red rising up his cheeks, “every time I’m with her. Every time I look at her. It’s always that moment.”

Your heart stops, and you feel your chest well up with warmth and so much love for this man sitting next to you.

“Some will say it’s a lazy answer,” he chuckles a bit, and you shake your head, vision already blurry, “but it’s the truth. I’ve spent so much time either frozen or wishing I had my eyes closed instead just so I don’t see what I was doing. There was a time when even closing my eyes isn’t an escape. Everything I did follows me, awake or not. And then there’s you.”

You let the tears fall freely, not wanting to let go of the hand of the love of your life who’s looking at you like you’re one of the goddamn seven wonders of the world or something.

“Every time I see you next to me when the day begins and as it ends, I just know that I love you, and that I’m the luckiest in the world, because I get to be around you. Because somehow, you love me too. I’m not sure I believe in god, or fate, destiny, or some other bullshit, but I thank whatever force it is that brought you to me everyday.”

You let out a sob, and he reaches up to wipe the tears gently from your face. You cup his cheek in yours and tuck a strand of hair away from his face.

“Sometimes I get so angry because I feel cheated. I feel like the world did me wrong, but I look at you, and all of that goes away. I would go through all of that a million times if it means I get to you again one day. You’re the only thing the world has done right to me, sweetheart.” He smiles, his own tears making his eyes glisten.

You couldn’t hold it back. You jump right at him, throwing your arms around his neck and burying your face in his neck, sobs still escaping your lips.

“Hey, hey, shh. I’m here, angel.” he hushes you, running his hand up and down your back, the other one holding you to him. He leans back a little to look at you and take your face in his hands. He wipes your tears again, and you whine.

“Dude, that’s just rude. I can’t be in here crying.” You swat his chest, no force behind it at all. He chuckles at that, pressing kisses on both of your eyelids.

“Now Peter has seen my ugly ass crying face.” You pout slightly, chancing an embarrassed glance to Peter.

“O-Oh, no. No. Just-just pretend I’m not here.” he says, sniffling. Your swollen eyes widen when you see his slightly red nose and red-rimmed eyes as he packs up. You look back at Bucky who just shrugs.

“He doesn’t mind.” He smirks before leaning down to kiss your lips.

Later that night, when the both of you are in bed just waiting to fall asleep, you ask him about why he decided to do it again.

“I mean, I’m not complaining one bit. What you said ripped my heart out in the best way possible.”

He inches closer to you, laying his head down your chest. Your hands instinctively go to his hair, and he sighs in content.

“I wanted to make it up to you.” he whispers so quietly, you almost miss it.

“It’s not— you didn’t even do anything wrong.” you say, heart clenching at his reply. You hate that he thought he did something wrong just because he couldn’t answer the first time. You hate that he beat himself up for it.

“I want to be the best for you. Or at least try to be.” he says, almost bashfully.

“Stop it, Bucky,” you hold him closer and tighter to your chest, “and tell your demons to go meet me at Main Street. I’m gonna beat them up.”

He chuckles at that, looking up at you in adoration, all innocent bright blue eyes and pink lips, making you want to drag to hell everything and everyone who has hurt and still are hurting him.

“You already are. I want no one else.” you say, pressing your lips to his in a lingering kiss.

He leans into it, feeling reassured at the moment. Deep down, there’s still something telling him that this is all so impossible, that the world will still somehow find a way to take this—you— away from him, but fuck if he lets that happen.

He promised himself he would try to deserve you, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t do everything in his power to keep that promise this time.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fluff #bucky fluff #bucky angst #10 march 2018

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the-rxven-king · 6 years

Photo

am i the king of posting his art at the absolute worst time of day??? yes i am

these are 3 of the gods of my original pantheon for my d&d campaign that im running for the d&d club at my school! not all of them, for sure, but the 3 that they know of/have met so far.

if you wanna know more about them (and get context about the random words on the top picture cause im too tired to edit them out rn) then look under the cut

from top to bottom:

lyxairtes: god of death, shadows, plague/disease/sickness, and chaos. he is the brother of lyxaira, and was designed and created to be her opposite and her balance. however, he was consumed by power and corrupted from being a god to a demon and tried to kill the other gods to become the one and only omnipotent god. he nearly succeeded, but lyxaria, in a vain attempt to save her brother who she used to love, with the help of viu, trapped him in a talisman and banished him, powerless, to the mortal realm. they thought he was gone for good, but he managed to find a way to regain strength and sent out a desirable aura. this drew one unfortunate soul in, and he took over their body, sending the entire being of the person to the back of their mind almost as if the person themself had died. he then took over the minds of others and created the nightcryer cult, full of mindless people working for him. he plans to regain his power through the ritual foretold in the prophecy written by viu about the consequences of keeping lyxairtes alive and not killing him when they had the chance.

lyxaria: goddess of light, peace, healing, and beauty. she is the brother of lyxairtes, and was created to be his opposite and his balance. she was given the honor of being the goddess of beauty when her wife, the goddess of romance, love, and poetry gave her the title after seeing her for the first time (it was originally hers, but she saw lyxaria and proclaimed “never in the world has anyone so beautiful ever existed, and i fell in love in less than a heartbeat. beauty has no match - she is beauty, and the universe should know it is her, not i”). her and her brother were close before he was corrupted, and in vain, she tried to save him, punish him for what hed done. but viu knew, even in helping her, that he would return, and she begged them to let her help with the prophecy. they relented and allowed her a place within it, and she watched the heroes of her prophecy closely, hoping they can end this for good and fix her mistake.

viu: god of creation, life, and nature. they are the ruler of the gods, but they themself dont believe they are. their father, creation, was trapped in his mothers (fate) temple because she was selfish and wanted all of creations attention, but creation was doing too much with his creations and not enough with her. viu still firmly believes that even though he is weak, beaten into submission, and unable to even create a physical form anymore, creation is still the king. the only thing of creation left for the pantheon to see is a gargantuan tree in vius forest, which viu lives by, protects, and cares for. viu assisted in taking down lyxairtes, and knew that he would return, stronger and much more dangerous, in the future. they wrote the prophecy, which they hid for their future heroes, and has waited for them to show. they have now, and now they wait for them to arrive at their doorstep for vius piece of the counterspell for the ritual lyxairtes wishes to perform.

#the raven king speaks #the raven king scribbles #lyxairtes #lyxaria #viu #i was gonna make this a long post but i put it under a cut instead #ill be coloring them at some point but.... not rn not at 2:30 am

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dothewrite · 7 years

Text

anonymous asked:

so a scenario with akaashi, kyoutani (if you do him) and iwaizumi where its like a GANGAU kinda thing and their s/o becomes a target for their rival gang and they kidnap her nd once the guys find her and stuff afterwards they treat her wounds and cuddles everywhere and fluffiness (unless they dont find her??? o.0) up to you but extra points for fluffyness at the enddd <333

Here’s the next installment! Thanks for the wait, and I hope this is (despite my ever persistent angst) fluffy enough, well, for Kyoutani’s standards anyway. Enjoy!

Akaashi.

It hadn’t been a pretty sight, watching the bodies fall one by one behind your swollen, bruised eyelids. Once you had been found and recovered to safety, everyone started talking to you like you weren’t there, like you weren’t right in the middle of it- like all those people on the floor, slaughtered, weren’t because of you. Of course, it might not have been, and you’re beginning to really think so. The boss had looked right past you when you were brought in to report, the group responsible had let their gazes linger over you with a calculating stare, glancing over you like potential collateral. You probably were, but before that, you had thought that you were at least part of the team. Well, until you got yourself caught. Until you became baggage.

“Thinking your way to hell again?”

It’s a rough, familiar voice that doesn’t give any leeway for gentleness to seep in, but it makes you smile all the same. Your shoulders melt a little, the press of your hands together slowly defrosting in this warm apartment that for now, is still safe. Nobody simply walks into the mad dog’s kennel, after all.

“You know how I am,” you throw a sheepish smile over your shoulder, “can’t help bad habits.”

“Hmm…” Kyoutani, with a mug of something steaming in each hand, nudges you with a foot and settles down into the free space beside you on his sofa. “Guess it’s not all bad. Someone’s got to do the brain work after all.”

“And we all know how you are with that,” you tease. His stern face crinkles a little with amusement that’s only ever granted to you, and he sets the mugs down on the coasters in front of him. You’ve always wondered, for someone so brash and careless as Kyoutani, he’s oddly cautious of his own belongings. Like he’s protecting them, like once they’re gone, they’re gone for good.

You place a soft hand over his, and he looks at you out of the corner of his eye. “Thanks for getting me out,” you tell him. It’s an apology, you both knew that, but you also both knew how he hated hearing those.

Kyoutani shrugs, stiff and unfamiliar. “Just doing what I had to.”

Maybe it was, and maybe it wasn’t.

“They said that you were almost about to storm in alone and with a single knife trying to reach the room I was in.” A slight tilt upwards of your lip. “Like a hero.”

His face scrunches up with disgust and it makes you laugh, cackling and aching in a way you’ve missed. “Fuck that, do I look like some kind of hero to you?”

“Maybe not Superman,” you ponder, “maybe Robin? Oh, oh, you’re Superboy.”

“No clue what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah right, don’t tell me you don’t peek at my comics when you think I’m not looking.”

“...You calling me angsty? I don’t punch walls and shit, not like that little shithead.”

“Uh.”

“What?”

“...You really do.” The cackles come again when Kyoutani’s face balloons up into a red fanfare accompanied with emanating heat and all. “You should have seen the way you looked after all those guys were taken down. Dark and mysterious and all that jazz,” you prod him with a finger, your eyes sly and twinkling with amusement at his expense.

Kyoutani, however, falls quiet. “Wasn’t a mirror, was there?” he says lowly, and all of a sudden it seems like he’s towering over you even though you’re not much shorter, and the shadows on his face seem like the only thing that colours it. “I saw you though. Tied up on the floor. Bruised. Bleeding.” He burns his own gaze into your eyes. “Fucked up by those assholes.”

“It wasn’t anything I couldn’t take.”

“And here you are,” he continues like you never said a word, “pretending like you’re tough. Pretending like you’re fucking steel.”

It hurts more than you expected it to. A sting to your pride- that irritating thing that keeps on rearing its head at the worst moments, and you force your head away. You can’t look at him now, not when he’s putting it like that. Not when he’s completely fucking right.

“I’m not weak,” you insist. You don’t know to whom anymore, at this rate.

“Didn’t say you were,” he replies, his voice uncharacteristically soft, and you have to wonder how much your abduction really scared him. How much he actually thought he had lost you, because he’s lost so much that he can’t even remember what he started off with in the first place. “But we all got our limits. You can’t just pretend they don’t exist because you want to be invincible. Bones break whether or not you want ‘em to.”

“Oh yeah? You looked like a demon when you walked in.” A harsh laugh pushes itself up your throat and it sounds so ugly that you wish you could cram it back in. “I was barely conscious, but I’m pretty sure what I took you gave back tenfold.”

Kyoutani shrugs again. This time easier, smoother, because he means it. “I was angry.”

“Angry’s bit of an understatement.”

“Does it fucking matter?” He’s pissed off now, you can tell from the way his arms tense up and how his words grow shorter. Something in you wants to flinch, but you stay fixed in your seat, determined to have this at least. “I was out of my fucking mind ‘cus I was so angry, okay? They fucking took you, under my goddamn nose, and I had to carry you out of that shithole. You barely had a patch of skin that wasn’t fucked up, so yeah, damn right I’m angry. But this isn’t the same and you know it.”

You breathe deeply, like you’re trying to breathe sense back into your life and what you get instead is a strong wave of the tea he knows is your favourite, his almost cologne-like musk that he leaves on everything, and the undercurrent of all the things they said he was when he found out that you had been taken. It’s enough, you think. Enough to not be the only girl in the team for one afternoon, for you to put down what had earned you their respect in the first place and just be be you. Be the person that Kyoutani Koutarou almost tore down his own team to reach.

Maybe that person isn’t so strong. Maybe that person did cry and scream when they were hurt, when the knives scraped under their skin. Maybe- no, definitely- Kyoutani knows all this.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs to you. The harshest voice reduced to the softest comfort, and he’s so close to you; his forehead is almost flush against yours, his eyes still burning bright right through you, his calloused hand cradling your cheek and the scars on his thumb are pressing along your own cuts that they had left on your face. In this moments, he’s everything, and there’s no disbelieving what he tells you now. “You can still be the tough girl, y’know. I’m not telling you to cry or anything but, I guess what I’m tryin’ to say is that it’s okay even if you did. I don’t care. It’s just human.” His gaze roam across all your bandages for a quick second before returning to yours. “You’re human. We’ll get better after we’re broken and all.”

He hasn’t quite finished yet, you can tell in his posture as he leans backwards to stretch for a second, and you don’t understand why anyone could think that Kyoutani’s anything other than genuine.

“Those wounds- seeing those wounds- it… it did something to me. It wasn’t great. I’d say fucked up, but you’ve probably heard that from me enough today, so.” There’s a sudden spread of a smile on his face that looks crooked and exhausting for him to maintain, but it glows warm against your mouth when he suddenly dips down to press a firm kiss to your cut lips. You stifle a smile of your own, because he kisses like he’s been holding it back for days, and it’s lovely, even though he’d kill you if he knew. He pulls back after a few, long, seconds, and you wait for him to finish his piece. “If I’m not the one who was beat up and it still hurt, it must have been fucking shit for you. I know.”

“I know,” you echo, and although your smile is a little wobbly, he seems to appreciate that much more than your earlier ones. Far more comfortable than when you had been teasing, at any rate, because he’s always been more observant than anyone gives him credit for. “You’re right. You’re always right when you don’t need to be,�� you laugh, and he quirks an awkward grin at you, “but thanks.”

“Mhmm,” he nods, “no problem.”

“Still, the tea’s all cold now,” you say archly as you lean back into the sofa like a cat, and just like that, the tension’s gone and the warmth of his lived-in apartment returns. “Wanna just get ice cream instead?”

“I thought all women wanted to go on diets.”

“Yeah but not all women burn calories each day sparring with lunatics.”

“Call me a lunatic again and you’re not getting shit.”

You grin, a smile so wide that it splits your face and you leap up from your seat in anticipation.

“Oh yeah? Watch me.”

#kyoutani kentarou #female original character #sfw #gang au #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu #i writes the haikyuu

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elvesofnoldor · 7 years

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im really fucking scared.

Sure i live in Canada and my dad and some of our relatives live in the states right now, but we are probably gonna be fine, for now, as Chinese immigrants--Well, we might be inconvenient??? at best??? My dad is living in U.S with a working visa and it seems that immigration in general is tying up so he probably can’t stay in the states for long. He didn’t come up to Canada to spend Chinese new year with me, one of the reasons is that i didn’t ask him to and i dont think we should spend a lot of time together anyways, but also it’s probably not so convenient for him to leave the country right now. Also, i know he doesnt wanna work in Canada--the country where both of us hold our citizenship in, and the possibility of working in China is another can of worm that i dont wanna open right now; so that’s kinda bad for our family’s long term future. But this is all manageable, compare to a lot of other people right now.

U.S--the neighbouring country next door, the most influential global power in this time and day is undergoing a real and terrifying transition into a fascist state. Trump makes it abundantly clear that he is a fucking nazi. Muslim immigrants can’t even get out of the country anymore if they aren’t prepare of returning to the country ever again, and Muslim refugees can’t get in even though they have no other place to turn to. This is terrible that this is making a horrific and devastating impact on so many innocent lives and January isn’t even fucking over yet. But also, this is what he’s fucking capable of, he is capable of turning the country into actual Nazi state right now.

I know this may not be any imminent threat but Trump’s attitude with China isn’t friendly, at all. In fact, China’s military officials say it’s a real possibility to enter a into a war with US right now. NOW, first, im fucking sick and tired of hearing antagonistic language towards China. I get it, you all see China as this looming shadow from the east, threatening to its smaller neighbouring countries that are desperately trying to US’s fucking dick to counter it. While I’m a little alarmed by China’s general military mobilizations, i honest to god don’t think PRC is up for annexing countries--face it, that’s what you all fucking fear. lol. Geopolitical control eh, well, The country gains geopolitical power by solidifying control over territories that we historically owned, not through expansion and annexation of other countries. So let me tell you, fucking relaxed. Not only do we never have the historical tradition of annexing countries, the governing party’s got 1.3 billion people to manage and control, it doesnt have the fucking energy to manage and control more people with MUCH higher chance of causing heavy political and social unrests. They already tighten up on control over speech and access to information outside of Chinese sites, from what i heard, not only can you not access websites like fucking moodle or onq to do your homework, it’s technically illegal to fucking use VPN to gain access. This means they need to tighten control over information to maintain the false appearance of peace and harmony, so it’s gonna be fine, for your non-Chinese folks out there :)))) And anyone with a fucking head knows political unrests isn’t what China needs right now. You all don’t give a fuck, but i do, i give many fucks, i dont really like my family but most of them live in China ok and they are still my fucking family, and i know for a fact that there is no political parties that can replace the communist party right now. Unfortunately, communist party has successfully integrated itself into the core of nation’s being, and without it, comes political and social chaos of massive scale. The political party that lost the civil war; the political party that founded Taiwan’s contemporary political system, isn’t up for the fucking task, and they didnt wanna take on the fucking task anyways ever since the //We are an actual independent country// rhetoric came into being. I know no one gives a fuck about 1.3 billion Chinese that’s currently living an ok life to them--well that’s not true at all, the gap b/w rich and poor is larger than ever and this is something being replicated in U.S and Canada, but i do and i dont want a fucking war b/w U.S and China. You all might think im blabbering about the potential of yellow peril returning, but if China got into actual bad water with U.S you bet your ass white people wouldnt give much thoughts into it before stepping on us all. We might be butts of jokes, providers of some lazy Saturday ethnic lunches, or some annoying immigrants with low English proficiency to them right now, but you just fucking wait for China fucked up its relationship with U.S. Considering Canada tends to follow up on U.S with its political attitudes on foreign countries.....you fill in the blanks for me.

In short, Communist state is a soft authoritarian state and it’s really fucked but you can’t get rid of it or you gonna end up with probably 1.3 billion refugees from pure internal political and social chaos. If US-China relationship collapses--and it has the real possibility to, there would be an international conflict and that shit is gonna have devastating impact on me, my family, Chinese immigrants like me in North America and especially U.S, and billions of others in China.

On the other hand, Chinese and Asian populations aren’t actively engaging in political protests, we are nOT there, so how do we expect others to do our works for us and fight for our rights???? Even worse, some of us are actively showing our lack of regard towards the interests of other minority groups. I dont know how the fuck some middle age economically privileged Chinese uncles and aunts voted for Trump, but they fucking existed and they made a difference. What do they think they are??? ethnic white people???? They went to fucking universities for commerce but they are dumb enough to legit thought Trump's interesting statements about US-China relation are signals of positive changes????? I also know these moms living in economic comfort are terrified for their children’s future, because they feared a lower number of their children are getting into ivy leagues in the future under Affirmative Action. LMAO!!! AS IF LATINO AND BLACK MOTHERS AREN’T ALEADY AFRAID???? TBH THEIR FEARS ARE PROBABLY MORE VALID THAN YOURS???? AS IF MOTHERS FROM COMMUNITIES THAT ARE ACTUALLY ECONOMICALLY DISADVANTAGED AREN’T AFRAID ALREADY???? AS IF LARGE PERCENTAGE OF CHINESE/ASIAN PARENTS LIVING IN ACTUAL POVERTY AREN’T AFRAID THAT THEIR CHILDREN WOULD BE SHAMED AMONG THEIR FAMILIES AND GET NO HELP AND FUTURE LIKE THEY DO????? They come in with the same fucking mentality as white people who fears number of white people in universities and campuses will go down. It’s sickening. Their children gonna get into ivy leagues if they got the stuff, there is just gonna be more black and latino and people of color in higher education institutes, but they decide to disregard other people of colors’ interests and vote for fucking Trump. They really aren’t helping the fucking situation!!!

smh i should probably write my short film script right now instead of ranting here

#long post for ts #politics cw #yolanda talks #me for ts #not spn

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beardedwinnerobject-blog · 6 years

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