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#they couldn’t have done something new for Disney plus
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What we know about Jackdaw so far
(EDIT Jan 21, 2023: This piece has been updated to include a little bit of new information as Jenna Coleman made her first media confirmation of the new movie in her recent Telegraph interview)
So, as Jenna Coleman begins what will hopefully be a successful run in the play Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons (stream please, National Theatre Live) my thoughts turn to a rather mysterious project she was involved in just before Christmas - somehow as she was in the midst of rehearsals for the play. Jackdaw - as the project has been referred, though this may not be the final title - has had only scant regional media coverage and I admit that if not for that scant coverage I would be starting to wonder if this project was real or some sort of nethoax like a certain alleged lost film Tumblr was on about for a while in the fall.
Since there have been numerous posts on the topic here in recent weeks (mostly by @oswincoleman who has done an amazing job keeping track), I thought I’d try and distil what major information is known (or not known) about this film so far. Spoiler break for length.
1. As I said, it is not known if Jackdaw is the official name, or a working title, or some sort of cover title like “Blue Harvest” disguised the filming of Return of the Jedi; but that would have to mean “Jackdaw” is connected to some major enterprise, which it doesn’t appear to be. Although I saw someone ask if maybe this was connected to Sandman coming a few months after its renewal by Netflix (and Netflix allegedly being connected to Jackdaw, not to mention a comics-accurate hair-colour change by Jenna), there’s no sign of any connection to Sandman or any other franchise (Mason Alexander Park of Sandman said the other day they don’t expect to resume filming till the summer); and despite the director having worked on Doctor Who before, there’s been nothing to suggest it’s related in anyway to that either (and they’d be talking Disney+ or BBC not Netflix if it was).
2. As of mid-January, all we have heard about it is from social media posts and a few “what are they filming?”-style stories on local/regional news sites, plus a casting call for extras that was posted in December. Recent major media coverage of Jenna - including about her hair colour change - have made no reference to the project.
3. Jenna herself has only made reference to this production by way of a couple of enigmatic Instagram Stories posts, one showing a motorcycle, another showing camera equipment. According to social media, she filmed her role over the course of about a week or so in mid-December. Despite this, people purporting to be insiders on the production have claimed she has a major role in it. Speculation is she might go back to film more after the play wraps. But social media reports filming on Jackdaw wrapped in mid-January. Filming apparently took place in the north of England, including Hartlepool.
3.5. Interestingly, Jenna has made no reference to the film in recent interviews, including the one with Graham Norton who surely must have been aware of the social media reports if nothing else; even when she was under her NDA for Sandman back in 2021 she was at least still able to acknowledge she was filming “something” recently even if she couldn’t say what. Jackdaw does not seem to something on the scale of a Marvel movie, so I can’t see her not being allowed to at least acknowledge the film - unless maybe the producers of the Lemons play asked her not to, perhaps so as not to take away from the play. To be fair, if you’re promoting a specific event it wouldn’t do to spend the limited time available talking about Jackdaw, Wilderness, Sandman S2, Klokkenluider, War Rooms... right?
5. Who is involved in Jackdaw? Other than Jenna, it appears the lead actor is one Thomas Turgoose, known for the This is England films and TV series in the UK (an unknown to me; he was in one of the Kingsmen films too; I see Jenna also began following him on Instagram at some point). A casting call for a scene suggested Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Jenna’s co-star in the upcoming Wilderness, is also in it but I haven’t seen much more on that. And Jenna reportedly has a stunt double. Personnel from The Sandman are also involved such as the cinematographer as well as the director is reportedly Jamie Childs, Jenna’s current boyfriend who directed her main episode of SM. If reports are accurate it makes this an interesting hybrid of her most recent TV projects.
6. Around the time of filming, as we know, Jenna dyed her hair a bright blonde, a look she debuted at an event she found time to attend just before the holidays. It is not yet known if she did it for the film, for the play (as she’s kept it and yellowish hair for a play called Lemons, etc., makes sense), or both. Or maybe she just decided to go blonde. The fact she’s still dark-haired on the posters for the play suggests it was a decision made after the initial publicity photo shoots for the play were done.
6.5 Surprisingly, Jenna didn’t make an Instagram post about changing her hair colour. Indeed, except for a couple of play-related posts and one set of pics taken while preparing for a pre-blonde event, she was all but radio silent on Instagram during December (she didn’t do a year in review for Instagram Stories either, nor did she post anything related to the event she attended where she unveiled the new hairdo). Which does make sense if she was shooting a movie, commuting, preparing for the play, etc.
7. There’s apparently a rave sequence in the film with police (including apparently riot cops, at least based on the casting call), for which some photos from the set have emerged. Jenna, as noted, apparently has a stunt double possibly related to motorcycle riding?
8. Social media have said this is a film being made for Netflix, but Netflix has yet to make any announcement regarding such a production. Obviously, no hints of a release date have come out (and remembering the long wait for a release on Klokkenluider, scenes for which Jenna filmed 2 years ago, it may be a while). According to the social media reports, this is a feature-length film, not a short, intended for cinemas.
I’m sure I missed a few (and likely made some mistakes too) but these are the major bullet points as I understand them. Despite claims of Jenna having a major role in the show, I’m a little skeptical given how little time she appears to have spent filming (and the fact she squeezed this in while in the midst of rehearsals for the play). The fact we have a pretty clear indication of when she went blonde (between her event in early December with dark hair, followed a couple weeks later by her attending an event with blonde hair), I don’t think it’s a case of her having done more filming earlier that we don’t know about (unless she changes hair colour during the film ).
My gut is telling me it’ll be the same as Klokkenluider, for which Jenna indeed plays a major role but according to reviews does not actually appear throughout the film. In Jackdaw, Jenna could be playing a major role - but one that only involves her in a few scenes. Time will tell. And until or unless someone - production company, one of the actors, Netflix - actually releases some sort of info, we’re stuck for now with speculation, guesswork and Instagram posts.
Update: January 21, 2023: Jenna Coleman was the subject of a major interview with the Daily Telegraph magazine. The article is behind a paywall, but it does confirm that Jenna did film a movie called Jackdaw, dyed her hair for the film, and apparently plays a “pixie punk biker” in the movie. The plot thickens!
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meat-wentz · 1 year
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the circus was…not popular in the 2000’s?
okay i have to pull out my book of receipts here because let me tell you i think about this so often because in the moment i wasn’t registering how much circus/circus-adjacent imagery i was being exposed to and it was only when i looked back and realized that my 14 year old ass wrote a legitimate attempt at fiction on the doll palace dot com about a girl who gets swept away by a hot demon with side bangs to join, of all things, a circus, did the gates burst open to the flood of 2000’s circus imagery that had been forgotten. so like i’m gonna DUMP like you wouldn’t believe so get ready for a long post.
now first, this is how i define circus-adjacency: magicians, magic, burlesque, anything showy and flashy with a typically large vivacious cast, big teased hair and those small little doll lips with white powdered faces and big blush, grainy filters and red drapes, vegas and casinos and poker for some reason, and you know what fuck it i’m adding pirates in here too.
so let me tell you, first and foremost, the actual CIRCUS was thriving, particularly when you look at cirque du soleil. when you look at their wikipedia page, the 80’s are marked as their start and struggle, the 90’s as their expansion, and 2000-2009 as RAPID GROWTH. you couldn’t watch tv without a cirque du soleil commercial, pop in a dvd without a cirque advertisement, couldn’t drive without seeing a cirque billboard, people were raving about them, they were essentially the new sexier blue man group. now a few things happen in the 2010’s that result in their decline in popularity, they have to close shows due to recession, accidents resulting in death, the tsunami closing their show at tokyo disney, etc. essentially all that plus the cultural attitude is shifting away from the circus, we’re done with that we don’t want it anymore, sorry cirque. but when i say that cirque is probably one of the most popular live shows you can see, i mean it.
now music and movie and television wise, WOW, a lot happening there, let’s take a look:
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1) i want to express so hard that i watched lady marmalade at like 7:00 am and then my ass went to school like it was a moment and no wonder i was struggling with my sexuality it changed me deeply and 2) i’m leaving out britney and fob because i already used them as examples and i’m also leaving out gwen stefani because she and i have beef from this time period but rich girl and whatcha waiting for have these very glamorous dollified pirate and alice in wonderland visuals. now please for the love of god watch the intro to criss angel mindfreak:
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not to mention, british boyband take that released an album called “the circus” and had a whole accompanying circus tour where they rode a giant puppet elephant through the crowd and they performed in a giant red tent and lady gaga opened for them???? which sounds wild enough but then you see something like this and your whole brain collapses:
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now if you think that’s where it stops you’re so damn wrong, because i read approximately 8 or 9 of these damn books:
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which revolves around a boy who joins a circus to become a vampire’s apprentice and all sorts of gnarly shit happens to them and everyone is some sort of creature, and that turns into the feature film the vampire’s assistant which inexplicably stars john c reilly, josh hutcherson, salma hayek, willem dafoe, orlando jones, ken watanabe and more.
anyways we have pirates of the caribbean which was huge, but we also have lots of vegas representation for some reason: poker face, 21, ocean’s movies, street magicians, cirque, huge rise in popularity of professional gambling etc. i went to vegas with my friend and her parents in 2008 as a 15 year old and the highlights of our trip were going to circus circus, a penn and teller show, and picking up xxx show girl cards off the ground.
you’ll notice that the primary musicians that are latching onto the circus aesthetic are emo (and emo-adjacent) and mega popular starlets, and with the rise of internet fame culture and paparazzi swarms and the constant constant barrage of an audience that puts you at the top only to pray on your failure so they can watch it live on television, like i think it makes sense for them to adopt this metaphor, as britney so aptly put it “all eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus,” to see millions of faces peering at you, throwing popcorn, telling you to get on the trapeze just so they can watch you fall. these are also WIDELY popular mainstream artists with very queer and femme leaning audiences and are consistently not taken seriously while being extremely exploited.
similarly to film at the time too, where you see a lot of romances, a lot of musical theater, a couple horror movies, etc. the magician thing i think is fully an exercise in masculinity but i think that’s a different story.
and i think it’s interesting with lots of 2000’s trends returning that we can already see what’s popping up again, vampires are back (hello iwtv and wwdits), pirates are back (hello ofmd), and even the circus is slowly making it’s way in (the greatest showman which i don’t want to even think about or really include because that was already 5 years ago, but hello guillermo del toro my beloved bringing out nightmare alley, and honestly even a small shout out to the quarry for having scary circus elements).
and like i don’t have a full whole explanation as of yet for why the circus became such a cultural staple, but it’s for certain that it very much was. thank you for coming to my 2000’s circus themed ted talk i’m sorry i did this to you.
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tsukikoayanosuke · 1 year
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When??? How????? Why???????
I mean- wow, guys... I honestly never expected this. Another milestone has passed and it’s still kinda surprising that you guys are here with me despite my nonsense ramblings. Thank you so much for the follows, likes, and reblogs. I couldn’t have done it without you guys.
So, I think this calls for a celebration...
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TA-DAA! Our very first fic raffle!
(can you see my passion in graphic design? XD)
To celebrate this milestone, I’ll be writing some special fics for you guys. Now, I know my writing is not the best, but I’ll try my best. 
What will I write:
For the Twisted-Wonderland fandom. Starting from small and since I think some of you guys are from this fandom, also technically this fandom is where I was born in. The fics will be tagged as TW:OPT Gaiden, but this is just to make my job easier in archiving.
One-shot. We’re here to have fun. so something light will do the trick. I’ll be writing at least +1k per fic depending of your request.
Canon/Canon, Canon/OC, My OC/OC. I know you guys are romance lovers, so this might be our rare chance to make a special lovey-dovey fics, right? I’ll try my best to write close to canon, but personal interpretation might be leaking a bit. For OC request, I’ll be asking for said OC profile.
Any genre you want. I love to try many things, so writing in a difference genre will be a challenge. There will be some exception which I will explain bellow. [This also include smut or NSFW, however, I’ll need confirmation if you guys are 18+ and only available for Canon/OC option.]
Alternate Universe. Whether it’s a sleeping beauty au or mafia au or song au, we’ll find an agreement to fit our TWST cast into this massive universe for one chapter. However, if it’s a not well-known au, or personal au made by the requester, we’ll need a further discussion because sometimes have a hard time understanding things.
What I won’t write:
Multichapters fic. This raffle is for a celebration, yes, but I can’t write another multichapter fic on top of my WIP.
Crossovers. Now this is different with the previous alternate universe.I won’t be writing TWST cast meeting other characters from different fandom, even if it’s Disney related like Kingdom Hearts or Descendants. Mostly because I probably don’t know much about the new characters and really want to avoid mischaracterization.
Canon/Reader & My OC/Reader. I’m not used to and comfortable with ‘x Reader’ fic, mostly because I’m not comfortable in generalization. So, I’ll be writing for a specific OC, not general reader.
Bulletpoints headcanons or headcanons in general. For a simple reason of I just can’t. Plus, it’ll be leaning heavily to my personal opinion which I know will cause some clash.
Some kinks. For smut/NSFW, while I’m mostly open for any kinks, there are some that I’m not comfortable with. So we’ll be discussing this further in private.
Historical & political subjects. Not only I’m not versatile in those genre. It will take a lot of research and this supposed to be a fun time. And those are some touchie matters, so I’ll avoid it while I can.
How to enter:
Followers reblog this post. New followers are welcome. This is just to make the selection process easier. Likes won’t be count.
This is a lottery process. I’ll be picking seven winners to fill the slot. I’ll use the wheel of names to pick the random winners. Unless we only have seven reblogs or less.
When the winner is picked I’ll either announce it or message you directly. Also a confirmation of age just in case.
You can give me a prompt for me the write and your OC if you want them to be featured. I might be asking more questions if I needed.
When the fic is halfway or nearly done, I’ll send through the chat the google docs for checking and revision. 
Once we have the agreement, I’ll post it on Tumblr and AO3. I’ll be putting them under the TW:OPT Gaiden for easy archiving.
The raffle will close at 13th November 2022.
Good luck everyone! And once again, thank you for the 500 follows!
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silverloreley · 1 year
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Trying to watch Del Toro’s Pinocchio.
Ten minutes in and I already hate it as much as the Disney one for how disrespectful it is to the source material. So I’m going to write down all my thoughts as I watch it.
First of all, it’s set in between the two wars, when Collodi lived before the first World War, so the whole fascism thing is out of place. The story about the dead son was shoehorned in, the one dead was Geppetto’s wife, and the two didn’t manage to have children.
Geppetto was very very poor in the book. Like piss poor and that was a major plot point. Here? Carlo asked for chocolate, something that was for super-rich people, while Geppetto couldn’t afford meals or even firewood, let alone luxuries.
Also, he was a good man who always was meek in front of his disgraces, the drunkard was his friend, Mastro Ciliegia, incidentally the one who gave Geppetto the wood he carved Pinocchio from, but the wood was already alive and asked to be carved, so that’s uh, not that.
The Turquoise-haired fairy (yes, that’s what the Blue Fairy was supposed to be translated) is something impossible to tell... or watch here.
The Cricket has a different story but that’s less important in comparison to the rest.
Lucignolo (Lightwick or whatever it’s called in the English version) wasn’t a model boy by any means, not even for the fascist standard. He was a little petty thief and son of poor people, not the bully son of a powerful man, but he was a genuine friend for Pinocchio.
Mangiafuoco is unrecognizeable, plus he didn’t have a circus but was a mere puppeteer, he had other living puppets but none like Pinocchio. Oh, no, he’s the Fox, this doesn’t make sense, where’s the Cat? Why is there a monkey? The Fox and Cat were supposed to teach kids to not to trust strangers, while Mangiafuoco was a different thing. They also conflated the Pleasure Island into the Mangiafuoco subplot, wtf?
The point of Pinocchio going to school was to teach children to be responsible and correct in times when people refused to send kids to school to exploit them to work, so Geppetto wanting to send his son to school was for the boy’s own good, not to make him comform to the standard, quite the opposite. The fact Geppetto is depicted as a wrongdoer drunkard is heavily disrespectful to the original message.
In fact, Geppetto was the representation of the struggles of a nation, and the wish of a new generation being more cultured, rightful and happier.
And then Pinocchio dies? Under a car? And that’s when I know I’m not watching Pinocchio anymore, so Del Toro may as well have written his own character and not grabbed a famous Italian tale. I mean, he doesn’t need to use something already existing, he’s famous enough on his own that everyone would have watched whatever new he made.
Moreover, the depiction of fascism is not the Italian version of it anyway, maybe that’s how it happened in Spain or Mexico, so, really, Del Toro should have done his own thing and left Italy and its national fairytale alone.
And I’ve had enough, I’m not even mid-movie but I’m tired of it already. So I’m going to forget all of the above and try to see where the movie wants to go, but, honestly, I wish the world would leave our tale be.
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zumpietoo · 9 months
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My Weekish on Buy Nothing...
The desperation to ditch my table led me to try something ELSE a little over a week ago....and, I approached it with heavvvvyyyyyy skepticism....the person recommending it was my sister-in-law (who likes everything that she thinks she came up with), insisting she’d “found everything she could ever possibly need there”.....I can fully assure everybody.....ummm.....noooo....not even remotely.
But still, desperate, so I pursued it anyway.....
Thus far? Unsurprisingly, a verrryyyy mixed bag. And it seems that my smaller local group IS actually much better than the “no rules” one (tho I have ditched quite a few things there.....
It was still Craigslist that got my table gone.....(as always, patience and dealing with a lot of scammy aggravation will eventually yield somebody.....and I did appreciate they honored almost all my terms, even if today they DID try and get another two chairs outta me. I responded with a polite, but verrrryyyyy clear and firm “no”).
And, honestly? The purge boxes thus far haven’t moved much (apparently peeps will go whole hog if you do an individual offer of each, I can’t be bothered....take it, don’t take it....) and one of the peeps who showed up was entitled enough to leave a mess....dude, put it back in, WTF?
Also, largely and predictably, it’s a combo of moar peeps asking (especially in the no rules) AND a lot of the offers are kids’ things (I get that).....
But to summarize:
The Good
Actually this first one is beyond excellent----I asked for “help” in the form of somebody to come over with their circular saw and shave 3 inches off something I wanted to turn into a shelf for my armoire linen closet. I should qualify I made a point of noting this was a big ask, I understood, blah, blah, blah....Dude replied really fast he was happy to do it, came over last Saturday, done in 3 minutes, having a shelf, finally, made me fucking giddy. Offered a brownie and couldn’t thank him enough.
Alsooo, lady short on $$$ looking for, ideally, Mickey Mouse stuff for her little girl’s bday. I happened to be rearranging/cleaning my Disney guest room....what started as one thing, evolved into a whole bunch. She was super nice and appreciative....
I got (from, again, my local group) a couple of minor free things, but it was nice of them, etc. I made a point of thanking them afterwards....
The Bad:
I found a nearly untouched/full gallon of pink paint--plus another open one for a lady looking for “tween things”. I added in a pair of vintage vanity lamps I’d been thinking of ditching for awhile. I even put the almost full gallon in a box with topper that I’d had a recent paint purchase delivered in. I left her name on a piece of paper in the bag....when she approached, she texted, “did you make sure and seal everything up??” Which, dude, free, etc...She left trash in front of my house, tossed the paper back on the porch and since she did get paint on her hand from the open can, she left paint on my porch railing. No thank you afterwards anywhere....
Surprisingly local, the lady who left a mess after going thru the free boxes (really, you can’t put it back?)----even tho I was out beforehand, introduced myself and said I might be able to help in the fall with a different request she had (not anymoar!)
A young woman endlessly posting about being desperate for somebody to take her cats while she goes to Hawaii to secure housing.....this would be for 10 days minimum....granted, I wasn’t really all that anxious to do it, but I try to be a decent person, etc. I made a point of advising I have 6 cats and they’re varying level of jerk....and that I would keep her cats inside for safety reasons. Her reply, “well thanks but those are too many red flags” (yes, seriously, “red flags”).
A young woman desperately posting for anyyyyyy clothing, cuz soo desperate. Directed her to THAT purge pile, (we were about the same size and there was NEW stuff in there). She took like maybe 2 items, after having me check and double check that clothing was still there....
A lot of peeps with free asks (not just me) but expecting really pristine shit....one woman legit posted today about wanting a rug, but “would probably be really picky about it---hope that’s okay”. How astounding nobody’s replied yet!
So, all in all? I do like, locally, it overall creates a sense of community, but I also kinda think I’ll probably go back to just “free stuff” on craigslist/donating to the Vets for pick up, etc...
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cecisinjapan · 2 years
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Whoops. I’ve been even worse about posting since my last post. Here goes a round-up of the highlights from June 26 through August 7th… Over a month.
June 29, 2022
A group of friends and I went to Tokyo Disneyland. Honestly, it was amazing. But I have also been assured that my experience is not typical of visits to Disney parks. Since June is typically rainy season, crowds are lighter throughout the month. Plus, it was a Wednesday and most people had school or work and couldn’t go to Disney.
A probably incomplete list of the rides that we went on/experiences we had:
Pirates of the Caribbean
Jungle Cruise
Enchanted Tiki Room (Stitch themed)
Peter Pan’s Flight
Haunted Mansion
Splash Mountain
It’s a Small World
Pooh’s Hunny Hunt
Space Mountain
Buzz Lightyear’s Astro Blasters
Star Tours
Dreaming Up Parade
Electrical Parade: Dreamlights
I think the longest wait we had was for the Pooh ride, but that was probably only about 15-20 minutes. The others were generally less than five, and once or twice we walked straight onto the ride.
I’m so glad I went into this entirely blind as to what some of these rides entailed. I don’t think I would have been as enchanted with my first Disney park experience if I knew everything that was coming. Like, holy crap Space Mountain is so good, especially when you don’t know what to expect (also, I am told the American Space Mountain is no longer like this—I had the old-school Space Mountain experience, not whatever the new one is). And again, because the lines were so quick, we went on Space Mountain twice just because. That was amazing.
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July 1, 2022
On this day, I went to SkyTree with some friends and we decided to actually go up to the observation deck—both the lower and upper ones (though, tbh, unless you are really invested in whatever special partnership they have at any given time, the lower deck is the better option). I expected to be scared, because it’s so high, but it ended up being so high up that it didn’t even feel real. Unfortunately, we picked a hazy day to visit, so we couldn’t see Fuji from the observation deck, but it was still fun. I even went and stood on the glass floor section they have!
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Afterwards, I met up with a friend and wandered around Sunshine City (basically a mall, which happens to be where one of the Pokemon Centers is—yes, I visited two Pokemon Center locations in one day, since SkyTree also has one). While we were wandering around the mall, we realized that there were signs indicating a free live concert was happening that evening. We decided to stick around and see what that would be like. Turns out a small boy group was releasing their first album and was holding a free concert there to promote it! The acoustics of a mall are not ideal for a concert, but it was still great fun!
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July 8, 2022
Start of the Summer term! This class level has 4-5 items of homework almost daily, so I’ve ended up not doing as much—plus, friends have been focusing more on studying, not just doing homework, so there’s a definite decrease in amount of things done since this day…
July 23, 2022
A group of us went to get lunch at the TEXMEX FACTORY in Shibuya before heading over to Ikebukuro to visit an owl cafe (it’s honestly too rare to get anybody to do stuff outside of Shinjuku, so this was a huge day). While I do wonder about the welfare of the owls in this situation, it was just too cool to actually get to see and interact with owls!
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July 30, 2022
Got confirmation that a friend from high school is here in Tokyo at the same time I am. Trying to arrange something there, but we will see if that actually happens. This year would be our 10 year high school reunion, so it would be beautiful if we could actually meet up halfway across the world like that!
August 6, 2022
I went out to Nakano in the morning to check out their Bon Odori festival, but got freaked out and left before going in—I should have brought some friends with me for moral support.
By the evening, I built up my courage enough that I made my way over to the Bon Odori festival happening at Sunshine City. I still didn’t join in the dancing, but I did join in the spectators. It’s a really neat tradition.
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I really haven’t done anywhere near as much stuff as I planned to—partly due to the homework, partly due to the heat, partly because friends keep coming down sick. Hopefully I can do more soon. This Thursday is a holiday, Friday is midterms, then the week after that is our “summer break.” Currently there’s talk of actually doing things on Friday and during the break. Hopefully I have more to report then!
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minijenn · 3 years
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Haven’t even started the movie yet but holy shit look at this fucking art
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sunsents · 3 years
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Empty - F.W (1/2)
Gah daym this was a JOURNEY to write. I swore to myself to never write angst because, well I suck at it. But here we are, I swear this has a good ending because my heart can't bear that. I could've written this much better, so I promise to bring my A GAME for chapter 2. Enjoy, also Lee in this is a hate crime. This is very story telling-esk so I hope it flows well.
I wouldn't have written this chapter without the help of my good friend @mochiixjimin she helped me edit and spice up this whole thing so thank you so much to her! She's an amazing writer, go check out her work and show her some big love right now or else!! her wattpad
Chapter 1 out of 2 (Backstory)
Summary —> Life has always been a cruel joke to you, yet you simply play along. Overshadowed by Eva Burke your whole life, watching from the sidelines while everyone flooded each other with love, it would always feel like a joke.
Pairing: fredweasley x fem!reader
Word count: 6.1k
Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST (with a fluffy ending in the second part) / One mature scene (18+) and then it's angst again <3 / Some slander / Offensive language
Rating: 18+
DON’T REPOST MY WORK
You were a bright child.
Beaming bright enough to keep a tight lipped smile during flu-shots, and enough to put on a happy façade when your dad threw away the drawing you had done of your family dog, rather than hang it up on the fridge.
Children have foolish dreams, and that was yours. Your friends in preschool boasted about their pictures being hung like trophies on fridges, with decorative magnets and even bigger pink bow ties.
The fridge in the Y/L/N manor was empty. Always empty, just how Ms. Y/L/N liked it. Empty marble floors with empty rug designs, and empty rooms with even emptier people living in it. They were both empty people. Hollow and void of any emotion, at least towards you.
You were different though. You were filled to the brim with ambition and hope and so many positive emotions that your parents never seemed to reflect on you. You were like those Disney princesses. The princesses always had hope, and when you have hope good things happen.
Right?
Your dad never meant to give you false hope. He just wished you’d keep your mouth shut as he worked until late hours. Using big words and having big aspirations, you shouldn’t have.
Mr and Mrs Y/L/N weren't bad people per say, just busy. They didn't know how to raise a child, this was obvious, because the purpose of even having a child was to fix their marriage. But a temporary fix wouldn't do it, it never did. There was always that hole on the roof, leaking rain of despair into their falsely built home that no bucket big enough could hold back. Because it always found a way to overflow.
They didn't know how to show their love, so they did it with money, clothes, toys and crayons that you would later use to draw pictures of your family, only to have them end up in the dumpster once again.
They spoiled you rotten, bought you gifts you never even dreamed of asking. You just shut up and enjoyed it, what else could you do? Whine and demand attention? Risk losing their favor? There was no favor to lose.
You got yourself a fat A plus on your third grade math test. Star stickers on your chest, you entered through the glass double doors of your house with a crooked smile - two front teeth missing of course - making your joy all the more endearing. Your backpack strapped tightly over your narrow shoulders, hanging low with all the crammed books you pushed before leaving school because you were just so excited to show your parents.
You received a big sloppy kiss from your Nanny, who practically was like a second mom to you, and dashed right into your fathers office to show him your new accomplishment.
"Good job, I'm proud of you."
You froze. You found a way to actually get their attention. The attention you so craved, the recognition you would die for. This was revolutionary. Basically a new era for you.
Nanny made you a star shaped cake that night, and sat with you while gently stroking your hair and listening to you blabber about how easy the math questions were. It felt warm, motherly love. Even if it was false, it would never compare to the love of your own mother, a love you would never get.
You spent all your night studying, your eyes burning under the harsh light of your lamp in the early mornings and your pencil, ebbing away over sheets and sheets of blank paper. Writing away your little hands off until they ached, just to snatch another A and get a good job.
This was good, it worked out very well. You became that student who looked forward to class, just to get a good grade and have the validation of your parents. The sight of your father’s lips quirk up even in the slightest, and how your mother’s eyes shone briefly in appreciation of your hard work, even if it was for a quick second, it was worth it.
Until the new neighbors moved in.
Mr. Burke was a round, cheerful man with an even rounder belly, and a big fat pipe that always hung on his lips. Mrs Burke looked and acted like those fairy godmothers you adored. You couldn’t believe such people existed. Mr Y/L/N invited them over for dinner, for courtesy. He was not happy about said courtesy.
He ended up liking the couple, they had a little daughter called Eva, who was small and adorable with round red cheeks and big doe eyes. Not only Mr and Mrs Burke, but the Y/L/N’s adored Eva as well. She was happy, always smiling, and her teeth weren't nearly as crooked as yours, not to mention she had pretty long hair like a princess.
You liked her a lot, took her to pick flowers, showed her the drawings you had prepared for the empty fridge; in case Mr Y/L/N ever had a change of heart and hung them up, you had been trying for three years and weren't giving up any sooner.
Eva was nice, kind enough to share her M&M's and very used to compliments unlike you. She seemed to get a lot from her parents and yours. The adults were so kind to her, always smothering her with love and kisses. You were happy for Eva, happy that Eva somehow managed to gain the favor of your parents before you did.
Little girls tended to be jealous, you weren’t. You were just glad to have a friend so cool, she didn't blush and stutter under praise and apparently her drawings were pretty enough to go on a fridge.
It was a Thursday afternoon when your mom smiled at you for the first time since your last exam grade. "Look, Eva drew us a picture, isn't it pretty?"
The crayola stash under your bed was no longer needed, they appeared clumsily dumped in the neighborhood trash the next day, most of them stomped under the pressure of your little sneakers. And the bundle of drawings you hid under your pillow, wishing on fairy godmother that one day they would be hung up too, were ripped; clearly a struggle given. You had paper cuts on your hands, and your Nanny thankfully applied ointment before Ms and Mr Y/L/N noticed, or rather, stopped to care.
Though you knew that even if you paraded herself with bloody fingers dripping to your elbows, they wouldn't care.
Nanny did, she was there. There when you were haunted with nightmares when the moon was particularly dark, cooing at you and letting you sleep next to her in that small bed of hers. There when you tripped and fell, small scratch resulting in a screaming tantrum. She was gentle, sweet, paid well.
You decided to go and pick flowers with Eva, and make a pretty flower crown for yourself, months after your drawing incident. Of course, you didn't have such silly dreams anymore. You didn’t wish to have your pictures hung, to have your mother wear the flower crowns you made and frankly you didn’t care for the sight of the sparkle in your parents eyes. Nanny’s was enough.
Eva agreed, dressed in a pink tutu Mrs Y/L/N gifted. You didn't comment, though deep down you gazed at the skirt in sparkling envy. Your mother never bothered to get you such pretty things. The two of you gathered saturated petals and nice ribbons while giggling amongst yourselves. Until, you accidentally caused Eva’s flowers to levitate.
Eva ran home, crying and calling you a witch. Mr and Mrs Y/L/N’s dirty looks made her feel shameful, and even dirtier when a letter addressed to her was dropped by a pretty owl you insisted on petting. It was from a school called Hogwarts, in the faraway land of London, and it seemed, not only you but Eva got the same letter the next day.
Though the Y/L/N’s and Burke’s were proud of Eva’s letter. They weren’t with yours.
— — — —
The ride to Hogwarts was interesting to say the least. You had so many questions unanswered, were you a fairy godmother too? Was that your destiny? Was that the reason you never got any attention, because you were destined to give instead of receive?
Eva was cheerful as always, making fast friends in newly bought uniforms and holding a pretty, long and thin wand, with designs flowing across the premise. Your wand was...functional. You were sad you couldn't choose, and that the wand chose the owner. It didn't make sense, what if you didn't want this wand? What if you wanted something charming like Eva’s? It should have been mutual.
It was while trying to find your way to the bathroom that you met the Weasley twins. Quite handsome, a year older and absolute fucktards. A word you learned from the two. Though you always found yourself laughing more at Fred’s jokes, you liked them both equally.
“Hey George! Look.” Fred had exclaimed, clinging onto his brothers shoulder and dragging him across. “Who's that girl?”
You introduced yourself, happy façade on, gentle words slipping out of your mouth like nectar. They had to like you, you told yourself. Just this once, more than Eva.
When sorted into Gryffindor, Eva, you and the twins became inseparable. Your group grew in second year, when Katie, Lee and Alicia Spinnet joined the bunch. You would make fun of the ghastly Potions Professor Snape, and imitate Dumbledore in the hallways to mess with the older students.
You loved your time at Hogwarts, and the adventures that came every year. Especially when Harry Potter joined.
“Hey Fred.”
Fred, who was fiddling with his bracelet you had bought him hummed in response, not bothering to look up.
You sighed, “Do you think the flowers can feel it when we pluck them?”
Fred turned at that, his bracelet was now tightly secure after his struggles. “I hope not.” he smiled, a faraway look on his face whenever he gazed at you. “You know, some people like pain.” he winked.
You merely looked at him confused, clearly way too young for...whatever that is.
He started laughing loudly, slapping his knee and causing you to scoff and slap him on the shoulder.
Third year was when it bloomed. The slight girly attention you gave Fred grew. Fred was...Fred. A handsome ginger, beater for their house's Quidditch team, always charming and charismatic that somehow oozed out of him whenever he did anything really. It was not unusual, every girl in school had a crush on him. That wasn't the case, Fred was one of your best friends, and you refused to entertain the idea of a possible...relationship.
Yet sometimes, you'd find yourself thinking about hugging and kissing Fred like you’d seen couples in your favorite movies did and you’d fall asleep with reddened cheeks and a boy with even redder hair in your mind.
But feelings couldn’t be controlled, nor easily hidden. Eva found out in your fourth year after hearing you mumble his name in your dreams. Fred Weasley was getting more handsome as years passed, and you found it hard to contain your feelings. You were crushing, hard.
Eva was...Eva about it. Happy, but nothing changed. She didn't tease like George did when he found out, nor did she act any differently towards Fred.
“Hey ____!” Fred had sat next to you, shaking the entire couch because he grew that tall during summer. “Got a new girl after me.” he looked at you, almost expectantly, as if you wouldn’t react the way you always reacted.
“That’s great Fred.” you smiled, gulping whatever lump that was forming in your throat and struggling to come out as vulgar words you wished to yell.
“Yeah,” Fred sighed, “It’s...great.”
Fred Weasley was a ladies man, and he wasn't afraid to show it. It was okay, because you were happy enough to be one of his closest, and that was enough. He often boasted about getting girls, and how successful his jokes were, and you always loved snapping back to him cockily, even more cockily than him. Playful banter was easy, comforting between them and when he turned away you would love to shyly entertain the idea of being one of those girl’s Fred talked about.
Fifth year, you had a sudden growth spurt. That was also the year where you discovered Cosmopolitan, Vogue and of course Witch Weekly. Hair no longer in a ponytail, legs shaved and smooth, short skirts with no nylons, you were a new person. After getting your period in third year, your spurt came late, but sudden. Way too sudden in the time of three months. It was hard to handle the changes occurring to your body. It was all too much that you had to become a lady and the fact that you didn’t have your mother to help was a pain you hid deep within.
It was as if whichever god above decided to squeeze your entire life into a summer and call it a day, because it was simply too busy. How ironic. No one saw your growth except old Nanny Gladys. Not Eva, nor her parents considering they went on a getaway and the Burke's, who had gone to Brazil.
But you were over that, you discovered the great telephone, and the great Hermione Granger, package deal with Ginny Weasley. You guys would talk on the phone for hours upon hours, Ginny obscuring your personality and Hermione altering your view on your parents. And Hermione was right, they were assholes. You didn't give a flying fuck about empty praises anymore.
You had become almost too tall for your older clothes, and your breasts were way too big to fit in the training bra you bought not even a month ago. Your hips, now wide and swaying as you walk became graceful, were decorated with long gem bracelets.
You cursed like a sailor that summer, ran around fields with family - your family being your dog, Jambo - bare feet. You stomped on flowers you used to pick as a little girl, stomping on those silly fairytale dreams you used to nurse, and never felt freer. For the first time ever you felt that maybe being empty could be more freeing than having false hope weighing you down.
Returning to Hogwarts was a big deal to students. Who changed, who glowed up after what happened last year - nothing, it was all childish drama.
Before your parents could even see your new self, your escapade to the Granger household was successful. The Y/L/N's didn't care, nor did they write. You knew it should’ve hurt, but frankly, you didn’t think having the pain in your chest was worth it. Hermione was awestruck, of course, after laying her sights on you for the first time since May and insisted on walking into the Entrance Hall, arm in arm with her and Ginny to show you off like some sort of revelation.
It was a revelation all right, at least to the boys, and some girls. It seemed no one saw you as a girl before. George oogled, and Lee was so shocked to find out that you were actually a girl with a pretty figure and an even prettier smile that he stopped clapping you on the back like he always did. Not a girl, you have become a woman. It was far too sudden, new uniforms and a whole new wardrobe had to be bought.
"____? You were a girl?" Fred joked, ruffling your hair like nothing changed between you. And that's when you realized, no slutty skirt, how much pushup your bra, or no matter how pretty your hair looked, Fred would always see you as ____, the girl with crooked front teeth and who once ate a worm in second year. Your teeth weren't crooked at all anymore - thanks to a few years of braces - and finally clear of uncomfortable metals but you felt as if Fred would always see the ghost of them on your pearly whites when you smiled.
He had this view of you that blinded him, caused him to treat you as he treated Ginny while he flirted and played footsie with other girls, including Eva.
That did not stop Eva from giving you false hope, and you took the bait, naive like always. Hope, that's what ruined it all. "You're beautiful now, of course you have a chance!" she said, rubbing your shoulder reassuringly, as if she had warmth to begin with.
It was all false, yet you still believed. You always had. Like a fool.
Ginny didn't like Eva, and maybe that's why you gravitated towards her. She was the first person who had ever met Eva that wasn't charmed by her kind smile and attractive words. Eva was...displeased. She grew up having the attention of everyone around, so when Ginny Weasley told her straight to her face that she wasn't shit, Eva seethed. The attention of Ginny changed nothing though, because Eva was the main character. Everyone - except Ginny, and secretly Hermione (though she would never say it) - loved her, they followed her around like puppies and praised her on her wonky wand work.
The upcoming Yule Ball brought great upswing to Hogwarts.
You were far too busy with her classes to take interest in the tournament - even though the dragon race was the gnarliest sight you had ever seen. Your goal was set, become a badass Auror and move out as soon as possible, so you didn't have to face your parents (except Holidays, yuck.)
But the Yule Ball was your chance. A chance with Fred Weasley.
You could ask to go as friends and maybe, just maybe a little hope and the night would end much more romantic than you had anticipated.
Plucking up courage was the hardest part, you practiced with your bathroom mirror so long that Ginny had to blast through the door and drag you out of her dormitory.
Fred Weasley agreed, why wouldn't he? You, his closest friend, asking to go as a group and drink all night while gossiping? It was a win win. At least that's what you told herself.
That was a lie, it wasn't a win win.
You gave it your all getting ready, dress silk, makeup and expensive shoes. You took a long shower, scrubbing and shaving yourself to a smooth gliding porcelain, only for it all to be washed down with reddened eyes and a boy with even redder hair.
Fred greeted you the same, danced the same, and you chatted the same; you were reminded again, for the second time, that you stood no chance.
Fred told you that he was going to get drinks, a quick trip to the booth and mumbled I'll be back in a second. He was not back in a second. Several minutes passed, and your worries caused your feet to follow after Fred's footsteps.
You ran, trying to find him in the empty corridors of Hogwarts, tears welling in your eyes because he wouldn't. He wasn't that cruel, life wasn't that cruel.
But it was, and in a distant empty classroom you saw Fred Weasley, on his knees and between Eva's legs, groaning and praising her like a starved man. Worshipping her like everyone else had, burying himself in her and completely forgetting the drink he’d bring back in just a second. He’d left you thirsty and alone in the Great Hall and left you to drink from a cup he hadn’t known to be forbidden. Yet Eva did.
Eva's perfect dainty hands tangled in his ginger hair, thighs clamping shut while her high pitched moans flooded your mind and echoed around your head. They were so loud that she couldn’t even hear the loud echoes of your footsteps and the woeful cries that left your lips as you ran. It wouldn’t be the first time she had ignored your pain for her own selfish reasons.
Your heart shattered, and suddenly you were six again, watching your parents praise Eva, hang her drawing on the fridge. A soft breeze tickling your bare toes, dangling from the small cushioned seat you sat on while you watched Eva braid Mrs Y/L/N’s hair. Emotionless, silent, not asking for anything, knowing that you won't receive in return. Eva's small hands carefully placed the flower crown on Mrs Y/L/N’s pool of hair, and she smiled, heart warming and hopeful. Suddenly you remembered the feel of your own hands tangling in between your locks as you stood on your tiptoes, trying to imitate your mothers braid on yourself in the mirror you couldn't reach. You pretended, only for a moment before it twisted into knots.
What a cruel joke, you thought as you watched Eva receive the world from Fred, from your parents, from your friends and from every damn person you had met.
You cried on a big set of stairs that night, your wails echoing as you asked whoever, whatever what you had done. What you had done to deserve such treatment from the people around you. It was rather cliche - and maybe a bit too dramatic. It was an uncomfortable seat of course, and your body, as well as your heart, ached. Pain, misery, false hope and enough hair spray to melt the ozone.
The princesses always cried on big sets of stairs, uncomfortable stone floors causing them to shiver while they hid away their beautifully animated faces in their perfect hands. This was different, there was no fairy godmother to fix your makeup and clone a gentlemanly Fred Weasley, a perfect prince. You knew, because you cried, and prayed and cried and prayed until your throat was sore. There was no fairy godmother, it was all a lie. There was no happy ending. There would be none.
No one came to find you that night either, and you had to drag yourself back to the Gryffindor common room, feet bare, mascara, blush - anything else you put on in hopes of being able to become like Eva even only for one night - practically nonexistent from the way your tears washed them away.
You didn't sleep that night, and your head was unusually clear, pounding, but clear. You laid awake, eyes blood-shot and stinging while your dress shuffled uncomfortably between your sheets. You were too tired to change, and your dress was far too pretty to be worn so short.
Ginny's words replayed over and over again. "They're not worth it." her voice was so clear, and true. Mr and Mrs Burke weren't worth it. Your parents weren't worth it. Fred Weasley wasn't worth it. Eva wasn't worth it. The midnight chirping of bugs invited themselves in from your open window, and blue moonlight streaks beaming down in lines from the tulle curtain flowed with breeze, it was calming.
You felt calm, for the first time in sixteen years. You felt calm.
Fred and Eva started dating that week. Everyone acted like they expected it, and you realized just how blind you had been. Eva Burke and Fred Weasley, golden couple of Hogwarts.
You watched them, emotionless, as they embraced with love and so much passion that you felt embarrassed. Embarrassed at how you’d blushed and squeal over Fred in front of Eva and George and anyone who had found out because now you knew. Now you knew that their amused smiles were probably pitying grimaces because they knew that you two were never meant to be. It was always Fred and Eva.
Fred was an amazing boyfriend, making sure Eva was taken care of, lovingly staring at her whenever and wherever, arm looped around her waist at all times; you realized they were truly not worth it.
"You disgust me."
You didn't mean the words to escape so carelessly, but when you said them, you realized you didn't want to take them back. The growing pit in your stomach felt weightless. "Excuse me?" said Fred, stopping his nibbling on Eva's neck, who was just as shocked. You scoffed, Eva already had enough purple bruises to parade around so why did Fred have the need to add more?
"You heard me right," George, Lee, Ron, Harry, Katie and whoever sitting in their circle stared at you, wide-eyed, Ginny and Hermione, however, were grinning devilishly. Kind ____, wouldn't hurt a fly, quiet at times and didn't know how to stand up for herself. It was shocking, but you were done pretending. You didn't want to be like that anymore, you wanted to say whatever came to mind and not worry about the consequences. "You guys disgust me, I know I should be supportive but you don't match, at all."
You turned to George. "And you, no you can't talk about Katie like that." George went pink. "You're disgusting for sleeping around carelessly and telling girls you'd write, stop giving people false hope. Grow up. You’re nearly an adult and you can’t even treat a girl right."
"And you Lee," Lee went quiet. "What gives you the right to make fun of me like that. I'll wear whatever the fuck I want, just because you don't have the courage to wear a headband. If you can talk about my breasts, I'll talk about your shrimp."
"Ron, you take advantage of Hermione then lead her on. Open your eyes, asshole."
"Harry, you're not the main character. You're not always going to be the center of attention, nor do you have the right to yell at your friends."
"Alicia, god you're so stupid. I'm sorry, you're great but such an airhead. No, you can't ride a Thestral if you can't see them, and stop eating quill ink they're bad for you."
You stood up, grinning proudly, heart loud in your chest you feared someone might hear. "Frankly, I don't wanna be friends anymore. I'm done with this façade, except you two, 'Gin, Hermione. The rest of you are just so fake." she gestured to them. "Boys," she nodded again. "Don't talk to me anymore, and Lee, give me back the money, think it's about time don't you think? I've been paying for you since third year."
And with that, you left. You left Three Broomsticks, grin wide and chest heaving. Hermione and Ginny ran behind, whooping and cheering you on as they laughed.
The news of your outburst spread fast like wildfire caught in wind. That week was bliss, you no longer had to watch Fred and Eva, nor did you have to act sweet to anyone. You didn't have to laugh along Lee's sexist jokes and look away to wince, it was pure bliss. You realized that the feeling of being free didn’t have to be momentary.
Pansy Parkinson was surprisingly a good friend, she didn't have the same fakeness to her, the one Eva had where her smile was too kind. She spoke her mind, though every Slytherin did, and you liked that. Ginny wasn't happy with your new found friends, but she couldn't separate you. You made your own decisions from now on. It was refreshing.
You told your new friends everything, eager to get it off your chest and breathe, and they listened. For the first time, someone listened. You didn't have to get good grades, nor did you have to act like a sweet angel.
You teared up the first time Pansy said; "It's not your fault,". You knew it wasn't your fault, but hearing someone else say it with such genuine eyes made you believe. Actually believe.
It started off with you watching from the sidelines as Draco and Blaise pranked, insulted and shamed whatever your old friend group did. It wasn't unusual for Draco to act this way, but he got especially irritated after hearing what you told them. Blaise, someone usually quiet, had stepped up and decided to somehow release the pent up anger he had for the Gryffindor students.
The year ended, and you had started to sneak in an insult or two towards Fred and Eva. It felt nice, like finally, step by step you were clearing your years of hidden jealousy. But, there was no one to tell you that this simply wasn't the right way.
That summer, you stayed at the Burrow. Ginny had invited you and you were quick to say yes; obviously a fact forgotten. Fred, George and whoever you had insulted last year stayed in the same house. You simply didn't want to go home, and if this meant seeing Fred Weasley then you had to endure it.
Molly Weasley was the sweetest person you could ever meet, and it was genuine. It felt genuine, you feared your teeth might rot if the woman got another word in. Molly greeted you as if you were her own daughter she hadn't seen in years. You felt valued, seen.
Until Eva was there, Fred invited her. You had to watch the only person you were able to love, introduce the only person he was able to love to his mother. It wasn't you. It would never be you.
And you realized, even after everything, Eva had once again found a way to be more loved than you.
The grin Molly broke out was nothing short of beautiful, and you couldn't help but smile as well. The smile wasn't directed towards you of course, and you sat on that small kitchen chair, celebrating a relationship that caused your ruin.
Eva didn't care that your friendship was over, nothing budged in her life. She still got the same attention, still received the same love from Fred. The same affection, the same attention and the same everything. Or so it seemed.
Though unlike Eva, Fred merely watched you with sad eyes.
You stayed clear of the couple and the rest. You hung out with Ginny and Hermione only, ignoring the dirty looks Ron and Harry gave you. The secret, whispered insults Eva threw your way. George didn't say anything, but he didn't object either. This was enough to show how he felt. At this point you really didn't care. Why would you, when they didn’t either?
You held your head high just like Ginny and Hermione told you to, and you spoke in a loud and clear tone whenever asked something. Eva didn't, she stuttered when you spoke to her directly. Her words scrambled against each other when she tried to voice her insults in louder statements than a whisper. For the first time, you felt relief. You felt intimidating, protected by the barriers you had built around yourself.
Longest day of summer hit, and it boiled. Tanning became a distant dream, you would bake in this weather, and you were thankful to the big AC box you had brought from home. You couldn't sleep that night, sweat beads falling down your forehead that was already covered in a thin sheen. You had decided to get a cold glass of water, not sure how you ended up face to face with Fred Weasley. His wand tip shone with blue light, and his freckles were much darker because of the sun. It seemed the sun decided to be cruel to Fred Weasley back and wash Fred over with it's deathly heat. He was sunburnt, this was an understatement. He was burnt.
You couldn't help but start laughing when you met, ignoring the proximity, ignoring the sleeping house, dead silent and a big leap from the lively Burrow, ignoring Fred's soft breaths he let out every other second. You couldn't live off on false hope anymore.
Suddenly it wasn't so funny anymore, and your face quickly fell. You took a big step back and inhaled, ready to ignore him like you had been doing for the past year. But Fred Weasley was a persistent man, and he gripped your arm and looked at you with determined, doe-like eyes. "Tell me what I did wrong." he said, adamant on fixing this, whatever this was. You both didn't know.
You stood silent.
"Please flower,"
"Don't call me that." you said, stern and gaze sharp. Fred didn't react, he kept on insisting.
"Please, tell me how to fix this. I can fix it," he pleaded, a plethora of empty promises fell out of his lips like nothing. He lied like it was nothing, he was oblivious to everything he and everyone around them had put you through. It was infuriating.
You didn't say anything. You knew he would not fix anything but maybe staying silent would give him the false hope that spinned mockingly in your head for the past eighteen years.
"I'm sorry, just please. I can fix this, I promise, don't be like that." empty tears fell down from his eyes. He looked empty, tired. They lacked the charm they usually shined with and you wondered if it was only you that caused such dullness. Eye bags prominent that you never noticed before. It all felt like a lie, a cruel joke.
Fred Weasley was simply a cruel joke. His presence could only be compared to a shot of whiskey, especially when you down it like how Hagrid nurses a Firewhiskey filled pint glass. You never know how it will hit you. But in the end, you'd always find yourself curled next to the toilet, crying your eyes out because your headache was simply too much.
He was sobbing now, hanging onto your waist like you would simply vanish and you let him. The grip he had on was like steel vice - almost concerning - but you didn't touch him, didn't say anything. You just let him be, like he did to you. Allowed him to hopelessly hang off you before you would eventually leave him alone, like he did to you. "Where did I go wrong? How could we end up like this? What went wrong?"
‘You’, but your voice couldn’t be found.
Questions were useless when the answer was already right in front of his eyes. You didn’t let a single tear fall, you wouldn't forgive yourself if you cried in front of him.
You blinked, and that night was over. Summer continued on like nothing happened, like it didn't leave you heart broken and in such shame yet again. You continued on ignoring Fred as he looked at you with sorrowful eyes. Looked at you more, with more than he did his own girlfriend.
You blinked and the school year started again with another terror looming around the corner. There was simply no need to keep up anymore, because school was easy. You attended classes, got good grades, a few scar here and there from Umbridge's torture chamber, a woman who stood at a whopping five foot three yet still teriffied an entire school.
You blinked and you had already become a proud member of Draco's insult the Gryffindor's club. You didn't even feel bad, being horrible to the people you hated for years felt like a breath of fresh air. You didn't go as far as physically hurting any of your old friends, but coming up with damaging insults was such fun. A lot more fun than sitting around with a fake smile.
You blinked, and you were already moving out from your childhood house. Mr and Mrs Y/L/N were unusually happy, this was a given. They would have a new empty room and make another office, like they didn't have enough already. You feared they would start getting rid of bathrooms once too into their work, and they would have to do their business in bushes or buckets. Scratch that, you didn't fear that, it would be fucking hilarious.
You blinked, and when had time passed too quickly? Where did all those empty childhood years had gone? You were already graduating, on your way to become an Auror. You had lost contact with all your old friends now, regretfully Ginny and Hermione too.
The war had hit too quickly, luckily you survived, so did your friends. Unluckily, it left you with a nasty scar right across your left brow. It looked sick, but the hit wasn't worth it. It hurt like a bitch. You could see, it was a close call but vision wasn't an issue. The trauma though, god did Bellatrix's breath smell bad.
When it was all over, you had seen Fred hugging his family tightly. It seemed the Weasley's all survived, and you gave them each tight lipped smiles while holding a bunched up rag to your head to stop the blood gushing out. This wasn't the reunion you wanted to have with Ginny, but hey, you take what you can get after a revolutionary Wizarding war you barely made out alive.
Before a franticly running Fred could reach you though, you apparated to your flat in Diagon Alley, ignoring the thrumming of your heart, and how you practiced in front of a mirror to congratulate their successful joke shop that morning.
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fangirlovestuff · 3 years
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Going Public - Chris Evans x reader
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a/n - hey lovely people!!! i’m sorry for the lack of updates on here, i’ve just been occupied with life lately and haven’t been able to write properly in a while. but here’s this headcanon idea i just had to write:) i missed writing so much, but i can’t say i’m gonna go back to updating frequently yet, so i hope you enjoy this<3 
Summary: you and chris were keeping your relationship private, and when you finally decide to go public there’s a particular post that catches your eye... (it’s scott’s, and he’s a goofball).
Warnings: none:)) it’s just a really fluffy fic
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when chris asked you out, you were ecstatic
but, you did have one request
no publicity
you were a normal girl, and you wanted a normal life, no paparazzi harassing you or jealous women talking shit about you on the internet
and chris had absolutely no problem with that
in fact, he was happy you asked him to try and keep it quiet, since he's such a private person as well
and surprisingly enough, it worked really well
you rarely went on fancy dates, and if you did chris would call ahead and ask they respect your privacy
sure, you couldn't go to bars, or festivals, or shows, and you did feel like you were missing out sometimes
but not really
you and chris were both more introverted, homebodies, and you were both extremely content with just staying at home, or going to the occasional escape room double date with scott and his boyfriend
(you all got progressively more and more competitive with each one, trying to solve them in less and less time, but it was really fun)
it worked so well and for so long, you and chris had just sunken into that comfort zone so much and you were now getting married, without the world knowing
the option of going public with your relationship didn't even come up when you got engaged
chris was happy with it, because he got to keep you all to himself, but mostly because he knew how much you didn't want to go public and how happy you were being a part of his life without the craziness of hollywood
but now, when you were coming back home from your honeymoon, you couldn't help but wonder if that was the right thing to do
sure, you didn't want your potential kids growing up in the limelight
but you also didn't want them to miss out on stuff because of you
plus, you were ready, have been for a while
it couldn't be something you maintained forever, that just wasn't realistic, and that fact that no one found out in the last 3 years was pretty much a miracle
and when you talked about it with chris, he agreed
so, the next week, you both posted the same picture to your social media, tagging each other
it was a beautiful picture from your wedding, slow dancing and gazing lovingly into each other's eyes
it was cheesy, but you both loved it 
your accounts were still private, and you were keeping it that way, but chris' fans would know
and so will the rest of the world
chris squeezed your hand reassuringly, and you pressed the post button in unison
you had the urge to throw your phone across the room so you wouldn't see it again, but you took a deep breath, shut it down, and put it away on the table
chris pulled you into a tight hug
"i can't believe we finally did it," you chuckled into his chest as his arms pulled you impossibly closer
"i can't believe i'm gonna have to share my beautiful wife with the rest of the world from now on," you could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke softly
indeed, as you lifted your head to meet his gaze, a soft smile was drawn across his face
you leaned your chin on his chest and looked up at him
"i love you," you said.
"i love you too," he pressed a soft kiss onto your lips, "now do you wanna watch a movie?"
you both didn't look at your phones until the next day
you received hundreds of messages from colleagues, acquaintances who didn't know you well enough and had just found out
you replied to some, and then logged onto instagram
you felt like a kid watching a scary movie, covering their eyes with their hands but leaving room between their fingers to see it anyways
the first thing you saw was chris' post
he posted it with the caption "my everything" and a blue heart
you couldn't resist the temptation and scrolled through some of the comments, and to your relief most of them were supportive or surprised
"cHRISTOPHER WHAT THE FUCK"
"jahfbsapf😭"
"how the hell did he get a wife,,, what"
"okay but he literally married a disney princess LOOK AT HER"
"she's living the dream omg"
you chuckled at the last two
at that moment, chris came up behind you, nuzzling his face into your neck
"good morning," your smiled, turning your head to peck his lips
"morning," he smiled. "have you seen scott's one yet?"
"oh, did he comment? i didn't-"
"oh no, he made a whole post," he chuckled.
you shook your head and opened your phone again, looking up scott's instagram, and sure enough there was a new post
"since these dorks are done being stealthy, i figured i'd share some of my favorite pics of my favorite sister-in-law and my brother whom she so magnificently tamed😜. i love you guys, congrats💖"
you giggled as you read the caption, and only then your eyes lifted to the first photo
it was of you and chris in a halloween party, wearing, how could you not, a disney couples costume
chris was looking at you with a smile, his cheeks slightly tinted, probably from the beers he had that night, while your head was thrown back in laughter
you remembered that night, mostly because of the ridiculous amount of candy you and chris devoured and it made you feel bad until the next morning (still worth it though), but you didn't remember that this picture existed  
the next one was a selfie you, chris, and dodger had sent them one afternoon, just because it was so darn cute
dodger was licking your cheek, and you and chris were both laughing
the next was another pic you didn't know he had taken, of the both of you when you were all at a picnic
you were leaning back against chris' chest, and he was pointing at something outside of the picture, gentle smiles on your faces
the next was one of the both of you at your wedding, but it wasn't the nice one of you and chris slow dancing
because scott clearly couldn't leave it at that
it was a picture from later that night, as was seen by your hair, which was more tousled, and it was a picture of you raising your hand high and twirling chris around, clearly laughing
the last one was a picture that was taken in lisa's house, where you were both sitting on the couch
one of chris' hands was on the back, holding you, and the other was on his chest, his face thrown back on laughter
it was the look in your eyes though, that made a grin spring onto your face
because you looked exactly how you felt
so completely in love with this puppy of a man
you felt chris smile behind you
"awww, look at your face," he said, "you like meee," he drawled teasingly
"well, i did marry you," you shrugged, feigning indifference.
he kissed your nose, "i like you too."
"gross," you scrunched your nose at him before you both erupted into laughter
and you at that moment, you truly knew you did the right choice
because everything was okay, and you knew as long as you had chris by your side, it's always going to be
he's the person who made you feel safe, loved
and that was never going to change, no matter what
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
tell me your thoughts!! till next time lovelies<3
Taglist:  @horny-nd-bored​ @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds​ @wintersoldierslut​ @iceebabies​  @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree​ @kaitcordx25 @bequeening​ @steve-barry-damon-logan​ @itscrazycherryblossomcollection​ @hollandxmarvel​ @stargazingfangirl18 @readsreblogsfics @onetwo3000 @beritmetal @harrystylesholland @jazbot2000 @anobscurename @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @peggycarter-steverogers @evansphnx12 @starlightcrystalline @procrastinatingsapphictrash
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barzyyy · 3 years
Note
I’m hella in my feels. Break my heart.
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one too many.
a/n: prepare yourselves for this one. TW: includes mention of death, alcohol/heavy drinking and self-depricating thoughts. it is heavy. please read at your own discretion. my dm’s are open if anyone needs to talk!
italics = flashback.
read this first, if you haven’t already.
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mat could feel the alcohol meeting his stomach. when did he become this way? he knew that he was not in a condition to be drinking as much as he was. he hadn’t eaten in at least a day. somehow the simplest tasks have become the most difficult.
it didn’t help that it was the offseason. all of his teammates were off on vacation. the jealousy quickly turned into resentment. he deleted all of his social media apps because he couldn’t bear to see anyone else happy. he locked himself inside your once shared house, alone. what used to feel like home now felt unsafe. with every corner he turned, there was something that reminded him of you. lipstick on the counter, your shoes kicked off next to the couch, he left them all in the same spot, praying that this was all a dream and that you would come walking through the door again.
he couldn’t get himself to come to terms with reality.
he drunkely stumbled to the couch, mindlessly turning on the tv and surfing through the channels. he landed on a random channel because his thoughts were overtaking him once again.
mat dreamed of being a dad. you both used to talk about starting a family of your own. would your kids have mat’s hair and your eyes? which one of your personalities would they adopt? he wanted so badly to look through the glass at a game and see you standing on the other side with your baby. he wanted to raise a son and teach him all he knew about how to play. he wanted a little girl to put makeup on him and make him sing the songs of all of her favorite disney princesses.
now, he didn’t want a family at all. you were going perfect mother. no one could ever compete with you. and now that you’re gone, he promised himself that no one would ever take your place. sure, he could have kids with someone else, but they would never be the kids he would have had with you. he didn’t want it.
it was easier to put up a wall and block out the feelings. his grief of losing you was too much for him to handle. he would rather just push everything out, experiencing nothing rather than experiencing everything all at once. every time he thought of you, another part of him was taken away. he was a shell of who he once was.
things would have been different if he had went home to you. had he not gone out to the bar with his teammates after the game, you would have never been in the accident. there would have been no reason for you to go over to your friend’s house. now, instead of remembering the celebratory reason why he went out, his memory was plagued by the phone call he received as he got the worst news of his life.
mat could feel the alcohol meeting his stomach. who was he to turn down free alcohol? getting the game winning goal in game 7 made him feel like he was on top of the world. fans in the bar were covering mat’s tab, and he was partying with all of his teammates. out of the corner of his eye, he saw his phone light up with your caller i.d. and his favorite picture of the two of you. he picked it up and started walking through the mass of people to find a quieter place as he answered the call.
“babe, you won’t believe how many people are here! everyone is buying me drinks and-“
“hello?”
the manly voice was unrecognizable. mat stopped in his tracks.
“who is this?” he questioned.
“this is tom haltford, i’m a paramedic with the long island fire department. do you have a relationship with (y/n) barzal?” he asked.
he immediately sobered up. “she’s my wife, what is going on?” his heart was beating out of his chest.
“sir, i regret to inform you that your wife was in an accident. she was in a head-on collision with an impaired driver. she is currently being transported to nassau university medical center. do you have a safe way of getting there? i can send a police officer to pick you up.”
mat could only muster one sentence.
“is she alive?”
silence.
“i am sending an officer to your location. i am so sorry.”
what brought him out of his trance was the feeling of tears hitting his hand. he had not realized that he was crying, but did nothing to stop the onset of emotions that were to come. he buried his head in his hands, taking in the weight of the fact that you would have still been here had he not decided to go out. his shoulders heaved, but he stayed silent. he sobbed for a half an hour straight.
silence was something mat was becoming all too familiar with. he could no longer listen to the radio because every song he heard remided him of you. he didn’t dare go outside, because he couldn’t stop the jealousy that arose when he saw a couple out together. the best he could do was stay at home. his interaction was limited. when he did eat, all he did was get it delivered. even then, his options were scarce because he didn’t want to eat anything that felt significant to your relationship. he no longer ordered take out from your shared favorite thai restaurant down the street. he avoided anything that remided himself of you.
he would have teammates, family and friends text him every now and again to check in. he made it a point at your funeral to promise that he would reach out if he needed help. deep down, he knew from the beginning that those promises were as hollow as the newly-formed void in his heart.
maybe the irony of it all was that what killed you was the same thing he was using to self medicate. over time, one beer turned into to three, then six. he felt as if it was his only escape - alcohol only solidifed the numbness that he had been feeling. but tonight, he knew that he had gone overboard. there were freshly-chugged beer bottles on the table, and the only thing stopping him from taking some of your sleeping pills was his hope that you would come back for them. in addition to the beer, he was down a glass and a half of wine when his body finally began to reject the liquid. he tried to run to the bathroom, but the closest place he could make it was the kitchen sink. his stomach uncontrollably emptied itself, and he was left gasping in between his heaves. when he was done, he ran his hands under the sink and put water on his face. pulling the kitchen towel from the oven to wipe off his face, he looked up and his eyes were met with the picture on your counter from the wedding.
he was in immediate tears as he saw you walking down the aisle. your dress perfectly hugged your curves and your smile had been the biggest he’d ever seen. he felt a soft nudge from behind him.
”stay strong man, stay strong.” beau whispered, trying to help mat preserve any ounce that was left of his ego.
“bro, i can’t.” he whispered back, tears running down his face. at that point, you began to cry, and then the whole room was crying.
you both struggled through the tears to read eachother your vows. you were so impressed with how heartfelt his were.
“you helped me learn who i was outside of hockey, and i still fall in love with you every single day. ...and you’re a smokin’ 10, too. so that’s a plus.”
the after party was absolutely insane. you danced and drank the night away with your closest family and friends. you were talking to your best friend when mat came stumbling over to you, hugged you and said “can you believe we’re fucking MARRIED BABE?”
that was it. he couldn’t give up on life anymore. who he was becoming was scaring him. he knew that this is not what you would want. with a shaking hand and a breaking heart, he haphazardly picked up his phone and dialed the first number he could think of. there was an answer halfway through the first ring.
“hey man, you all good?”
inbetween sobs, his words slurred together. “beau, i need you.”
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Chapter 6 predictions #4 or 5: The True victims of the next Chapter, and almost everything on the Shrouds Overblot. (Bonus Theory regarding RSA's system of Operations)
I'm back from the dead, everyone!!!
I took some time off of writing predictions and theories to think about more possibilities for the upcoming chapter. All Ignihyde stans and students are waiting for their beloved dorm leader to finally get therapy. And I believe that time is just around the corner.
So to kick things off the edge, let's talk about the true victims of Chapter 6.
Main challenge but not enemies
In the past, we've seen in the chapter previews that there is something sinister afoot. From planning homicide to trying to enslave whole dorms or oppress certain students, all sorts of things have been planned by dorm leader and vice dorm leader alike.
But for the current chapter preview, we didn't get any tell or foreshadowing of a sinister event or nefarious plan. Instead, we got a small celebration of a successful plan, followed by a rejection of the prizes that followed (with a hint of depression at the end). What exactly does this mean?
The Shrouds are the victims of Chapter 6. Now you're all screaming "yeah, what did you expect?!" at me, but there's more to the situation than you think. It's not just a victimizing of the past (which is most likely family problems at this point), but also the present. Because here's a little clue for you: if we're matching up the events of the Hercules movie and Chapter 6, the main story hasn't even started yet. Remember that at the beginning of Hercules the Titans were already imprisoned, and if Ortho is based off of the Titans, and he has yet to be captured by the OTC, then technically, the conflict between company and dorm begins with the imprisonment of Ortho Shroud.
The main plot is going to be Idia trying to live without his brother. And knowing Idia's mental health, this isn't going to go well. But don't worry, it doesn't start like that right away.
But there's still a massive problem with the separation of the Shrouds.
A new kind of Overblot
Any observant theorist can tell you that in Idia's ceremonial robes outfit, his pen is missing. Theories big and small have all stated a similar fact: Idia's gem is the thing powering Ortho's magic and Ortho in general (because we never see the multiple Ortho gears flying around at the same time). At first I was hesitant to believe that, but now I think that this is a fact. And there is evidence in the game to prove this:
We have never, not even in personal stories or events, seen Idia use any kind of magic.
And in battles, he uses the dorm leader wand. He never uses a pen, and we've never seen him cast any kind of magical spells. We've only seen him use technology instead.
On the contrary, Ortho has been seen firing powerful blast's of magical energy. Ortho does have magic as far as we've seen. Sure, it's not a particular spell, but remember, a spell is basically a magical command. And technology uses commands all the time.
So, what does this mean for the Overblot?
That warning from coach Vargus in the camping event wasn't just a warning, but a foreshadow. Idia doesn't use magic at all because he knows the risks. Unless Ortho is close by, he would never risk casting a spell. (And from what I've gathered from the recent Bean's day event, Idia would never fight a battle that he knew he couldn't win.) Idia doesn't take risks unless the odds are in his favor.
But if he doesn't use magic, then how will he Overblot? Simple answer.
I'd like to take this time to officially bet on Idia's unique magic. Out of the four options I speculated on in a previous post, I believe it's going to be a portal/ teleportation related magic. Here is the evidence:
It can't be any deal making related magic because we've seen Idia making negotiations, bets, and deals with other people, and none of those required any kind of magic.
Hades main weapon against Hercules was other monsters. He moved them around using a special gaming board that represented the land with pieces that represented each kind of monster.
One of the things Idia hates is being told what to do. His unique magic would be a manifestation of that, forcing anyone caught up in the position control to follow his instructions.
Hades was the one who released the Titans adding them on to the board.
And in Chapter 6, where we go up against RSA in the Magift tournament, I think Vil is going to try and draft Idia into the game because of his unique magic and statistic mind. Idia's unique magic would be a callback to Hades moving monsters in Hercule's path, because Idia will be able to move players around the field to where they're needed most.
I think it only works if the person is on his side. If he has some kind of relationship with the person, then he has the power to move them around. A fun little prediction for this magic would be it's name: "Game Set!" (Hades says these words right before Hercules's first match with the Hydra.)
With this unique magic in use, Idia is going to be using magic a lot in the next chapter. But he hides the fact that his magical stone is in Ortho from the group. But he does make an alternate excuse to have Ortho by his side during the practice: for confidence and motivation. Of course, Vil's gonna see Ortho as an obstacle to Idia developing social skills. And this is where the OTC comes in and takes Ortho.
With the separation of the Shrouds, Idia is going to start feeling th the negative side effects of the blot. Why would he keep playing despite that? Maybe it was Ortho's last wish before being taken. We all know Idia would do anything for his little brother, and one last game against their enemy school would be a wish that inspires Idia to push beyond his limits for Ortho.
On the day of the tournament, Idia makes good on his promise, playing for the sake of his brother, and silently suffering the negative side effects of the blot that's collecting inside of him due to excessive magic use and negative emotions like anxiety. And they lose.
It's just too bad that Idia's the one who discovers the cheating RSA has done.
How exactly do they cheat? Well, ever noticed that all RSA students have the same colored gem? I was thinking some kind of magic seal would be placed on the disk that only responds to the type of magic stone the RSA students use.
Idia figures this out causing the Overblot effects to kick in. He Overblots on the field in front of millions of spectators.
In every villain final boss battle in the Disney movies, those battles don't have that many people watching. Sure a few eye wittness's but not thousands of people. Alice woke up from the bad dream that is Wonderland, Ariel's battle with Ursla ends with herself and prince Eric, and Only the Evil Queen saw Snow White collapse after biting the poisoned apple.
But during the Titan's rampage, everyone knows. The gods are on high alert, the people are running to get to safety, and the hero goes out to make on last stand against Hade's forces.
In turn, every Overblot battle has been kept a secret on campus. The students don't talk about the shadows, and past events have been quietly filed away and mostly forgotten. Some students are still wary of the victims, but besides Jamil's episode, no one outside of campus knows about it.
Until Idia's Overblot happens. Only a few thousand of people saw Jamil's Overblot, but here, millions of people will see it. This will be the first Overblot incident to become widespread outside of NRC. And the first incident the RSA students will face.
And this is another place where Idia's unique magic would come in. Did I mention that Hades freed the Titans? Idia is going to bring Ortho back from captivity. But Ortho won't be completely normal either.
During his time away, Ortho will be trying to get back to his brother. He becomes scared, desperate, and he worries about Idia all the time. Ortho tries to break out, but fails. BTW, the OTC treats Ortho like a dangerous weapon, not a person. They also insult Idia which makes Ortho mad. Ortho's negative emotions plus the magic used in an attempt to break out causes another pool of blot to gather. Ortho Overblots in captivity only for Idia to free him with a portal shot all the way from RSA (assuming the tournament takes place there).
There we all fight the Overblotted Shrouds. RSA students call them evil and try to fight the Shrouds but RSA fails due to a lack of experience. We gather up and try to take the Overblots down but we almost lose as well until... well, that will be a surprise.🤗
I'll reveal what and who will stop the Overblot in the next prediction post.
In the meantime, let's go back to that statement about RSA students all having the same gem color.
This particular detail has lead me to believe that RSA doesn't have a dorm system. I think they have some kind of student council instead. In a different post I mentioned something about all hero's looking more or less the same. They also have similar ways of thinking as well. Maybe there are eight types of people with magic. One type is so widespread that it gets it's own school, while the other seven rarer types get called by the dark mirror and sorted into smaller groups (the dorm system).
Basically RSA is basically a place for the widespread idea of heros, while NRC has the rest of the magic types. Maybe RSA students are taught that their magic type is superior to the others.
Or I could be wrong. Thanks for reading! The next post will be out soon!😊😊😊
Small prediction: Twisted!Hercules (Most likely Crimson muscle) has the unique magic: Zero to Hero! which gives him the ability to become incredibly strong in an instant! You cannot change my mind.🙃
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redspiderling · 3 years
Text
MCU Breakdown: Black Widow, Part 1
I can’t believe this is happening 😭
First of all, congratulations to all of you who’ve been here all these years. We got it. We begged for years, and it’s finally here.
For once I wasn't dreading revisiting this film to write down what I got from it. I felt more like I might not do it justice. This film is so special to me, but here it is, the MCU Breakdown of Black Widow, part 1 (of who knows how many).
I remember back when I started running this blog and talking about a hypothetical Black Widow movie that had never been announced, always "yeah, we would be happy to do it, maybe, someday in the future", and arguing that it would be important for women and girls, no matter its content. I'm so glad we got it like this. So, so glad.
The rest under the cut.
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Let's start with some technical details. The film has a lot of setups and callbacks, nothing is done in chance. For example, I love how the light, and the sounds we hear when we first, and last, see Natasha in the film, are the same. We greet her in bright -birds cheeping- morning light, while she's riding her bike home, to her family
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and we leave her in bright -birds cheeping- morning light, while she's riding her bike home, to her family (I'm using the term family very liberally here in reference to the Avengers for the sake of the movie, bear with me, you know how I feel about those dudes).
It's signifying new beginnings, each time, not endings. Notice how, what we see is natural light, which makes this scene pop out, and look more real because the light is coming from the sun, and isn’t artificially made on VFX software. You will notice the stark differences in colours and lighting when the emotions and the atmosphere change in this film, because there is a visual language being employed here, the director has a story to say, and she uses all the tools she has to tell it. The light is exactly the same in those 2 scenes, because Cate wants us to make that connection, even if we make it unconsciously.
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Natasha is placed in such a positive way, both at the start and the end of the film. There's this discussion about how "real" their little family was, but it was the characters that muddled up that image. The reality of their lives in Ohio is presented in a happy way, that had deep rivers under the surface, for sure. This wasn't accidental, for a lot of reasons.
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First of all, if you take it the literal way, they were spies, and had to present themselves as normal. If you take it the allegorical way, any girl could fall victim to trafficking, and if you take it the character way, both Scarlett and Cate wanted to showcase that Natasha is human. They also wanted to give her something that wasn't always dripping with pain and sadness. They were both parts of her life, yes, but there was also joy, and light, and once upon a time she had been a kid, playing with her sister.
Also, and this has been mentioned before but it bears repeating: I love the actress they chose for young Natasha, and I love how they presented her character. She's allowed to be a young teenage girl. She's not sexualised. She's at that gangly stage between childhood and adulthood, and there's nothing sexual about it, no provocative clothing, no excessive makeup. She's a kid.
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Plus, I know Cate said the actress already had her hair dyed blue and they just decided to let her have it, but I think it works well for Natasha's character. That small act of defiance, even that early on, against the system that wanted to break her. Also, the film gives us such great character moments, because they let the camera roll and don't rush through scenes, look at Natasha looking at Melina comforting Yelena. We can see the pain, the fear, where she knows that this isn't going to last, and wonders about what will become of them once their lives begin to unravel.
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We also get to see the joy on her face, the wonder of discovering the world, how often do you get to see Marvel characters do this, just live in the moment?
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Bioluminescence: the production and emission of light by a living organism. Or how Natasha is a bright light, that shines from within. Not my words, Cate Shortland's words. I felt it when I was watching this scene, but it was lovely to have it verified in one of her interviews. I wish I could meet her, and tell her that everything she wanted to put on screen came through, incandescent and crystal clear. Fireflies are a symbol for Natasha, as a bright light that shines from within, and never dies.
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Small details that I love, the magnet on the fridge: Don't forget, above a picture of Natasha. LIKE WE EVER COULD, CATE.
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We have another setup here, where the family gathers up to have dinner together. Even the sitting arrangement is the same as later on in the film.
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Notice also how both young, and adult version of Natasha, communicate so well with Melina, just with their eyes. It doesn't necessary show a deep history between them, but it does show a bone deep level of understanding. Not just of their current circumstance, but of their future, and of what it will do to them. Melina knows what's coming and she's says it "I'm sorry", but they're both resigned to their fate, Melina because she doesn't see a way out, and Natasha because, well, here she's a kid, and therefore is powerless.
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The dynamics between Yelena and Alexei is so different. Yelena is young and doesn't understand, so they're speaking about completely different things. "I don't have my shoes" is what she says, and it's heartbreaking in its innocence, as Alexei is loading his gun and reading himself for battle. We can still see that he's not indifferent to her, telling her she can have "fruit loops in the car". He's not a monster, he just doesn't have a choice (or at least, he thinks he doesn't).
Also, notice how the camera angles are employed here: Natasha and Melina look each other eye to eye, Yelena looks up to Alexei, Alexei looks down on her, there is an imbalance of power and understanding in the second set of images, and the camera tells us that.
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Melina doesn't let Natasha take the photo album. For one thing, it's certain that Natasha wouldn't be able to keep it. For another, Melina wanted the memories, and probably didn't want anyone else to realise/think that they cared about their little family unit.
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There's just a lot of thought that's been put in the details of the script, to show us their bond, their attempts to hide it, to show the characters' personality in everything around them (notice the plants that are ever present in Melina's home, in Ohio and later in Saint Petersburg). She might seem cold, she has been through a lot, but she cares. And that care has brought her pain. And we have to see that pain, because we get the quiet moments like this one, where she stands alone in an empty home knowing that part of her life is over, never to return.
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The mission, is the last thing Melina asks about. The last thing Alexei mentions, the last thing either of them cares about. First, she refused to accept that they had completed the mission and were now hunted, then she accepted it and they loaded their family in the car, and then she asked about the leaked files.
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Also, notice how that shot is framed. Both images silhouetted by the light because it’s the moment and the prop smack down in the middle of the frame that’s important, now what they’re going through, emotionally, they’re not themselves in that moment, they’re nameless, tools of the trade, expendable in front of that tiny floppy disk.
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Yelena is singing while the rest are plunging in despair, but still humour her and play her song.
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I found this shot a bit... Jarring. I get it that for American audiences this would show that they're actually leaving "home" behind, but for the rest of us... Eeeh, I'll give it a pass because it is an American production and this is just something to be expected. I mean, Yelena's song was American Pie. We get it, you still love America, just because you're making a film about Russian spies doesn't mean you're a commie Marvel, it's ok.
But in any case, the setup for the action scene here was excellent. Happy, familiar music playing, car is on the main road, car goes off the main road familiar music gets toned down and eventually completely lost in the darkness.
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Yelena knows what to do, we see it, so that we know that this 6 year old girl who holds her stuffed animal and walks barefoot has practiced for this moment.
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By the way, Natasha did take another item with her along with the photobooth pictures (it also looks like a photo album with Disney princesses on it), it didn't survive the trip. We are informed of this for a very specific reason: Melina didn’t ask Natasha not to take the photo album out of malice, or just because she wanted to keep it for herself. She knew it wouldn’t survive the trip in Natasha’s hands. We also get a close shot of the image strip (and we get it again, during the credits), because it will be important, later on.
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Bet y'all also forgot you were watching a superhero movie until this happened? That wasn't accidental, they wanted us to see them as normal people, this is the moment when that ends.
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Natasha saved her family, even though she was a terrified kid.
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I know that they did the huge titles thing to connect this film to Civil War but... Listen, Civil War needed the huge titles because that script and the way that movie was directed was a complete disaster. We needed to know where the characters were each time with huge ass title because there was NO OTHER WAY TO TELL. Between complete lack of a timeline, and the fact that you couldn't even tell what time of the day it was due to the horrible lighting, you definitely couldn't tell what the location was because it was irrelevant to the plot like, 90% of the time. Not to mention the title cards in Civil War were usually followed by dimly lit grey corridors so, yeah, give us a title so we know at least where they are, generally.
This film. Didn't Need That. For the most part anyway, there are 2 locations where the titles worked. First one was Ohio, the other I'll reveal later.
But here. Guys, they're Russian spies escaping from the US on a small plane... Where else would they go if not to Cuba?!?! This is the Black Widow movie paying for the sins of Civil War, in a small way in this instance.
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Yelena tells Melina that pain only makes you stronger, Natasha cries, and they setup my heartbreak for later.
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Natasha protecting Yelena, terrified, and staring men down the barrel of her gun anyway. Such a badass and heartbreaking callback.
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Notice how this scene makes us look at how men view this. There's an allegory here as well, but I'll address what's actually happening in the film:
Dreykov notices Natasha's natural instinct to protect herself and her sister, and all he sees is something he can use. A tool for violence, instead of sex, in this case. But the implication is there. Not a person, or a terrified girl, just an object to be used by men.
So glad that piece of shit got blown up and never mentioned again. Any man looking for exposition on Dreykov to feel the "loss" when the villain is gone: Fuck you. Go get some therapy.
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Moving on from that piece of shit, difference between Melina and Alexei: Melina apologised. Alexei lied, but he also tried to give them hope. We can see the devastation, because the soldiers never thought of them as girls like he did, and didn't blink before drugging them and taking them away.
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Yet another setup, of Natasha and Yelena, drugged and powerless as they are taken away. Because it wasn't enough that they were kids, they took away all their choices, and rendered them unconscious.
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What can I possibly say about this credits scene.
It's very real, probably the realest minutes in the entire MCU, and it's merciless. They don't try to sugar-coat what's happening, and there are no jokes to diffuse the drama. These are girls being trafficked from all over the world. I don't know about you but I felt the switch from true parallel to real life traffic victims like this shot that looks like footage from Interpol
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to Red Room victims as being a clear shift, and I was actually grateful for it. Because here I could put my back against the fact that the red room wasn't real, otherwise I would have broken down before the credit sequence even ended.
It was a stroke of genius to create an introduction to this entire world like that. We rarely see credit sequences anymore and it's a shame, because when they're well done they tell stories in and of themselves, and this is one of the best I've seen.
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Even the villain is set up here. He's pointing at girls and saying "that one, and her", like he's picking pigs for slaughter. How much more setup than that do you need, to want to murder that man dead? Not any more, that was enough.
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Nobody speak to me I’m crying.
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Subtle, but there. Trafficking (and traffickers) exists because it IS being tolerated by governments around the world.
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Unnecessary title aside, who else says Natasha looks at herself in the mirror hear and repeats "pain only makes you stronger", as she's being hunted away from yet another family.
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Then she's saying it again because it bears repeating and Natasha has been through A Lot these past few years. I love how unfiltered our first image of her is. After all she's been through, we basically see her stripped of all her tricks in a moment where she’s alone with herself and her thoughts(something we later learn she tries not to do much), and she's just a woman having a tiny breakdown in a semi-public bathroom. Again, human.
This is where I will leave you for this first part. Hey, I got through the intro, I count that as a win given just how long this breakdown has already been. If you’ve gotten this far, thank you for reading, come yell at me in my inbox whenever, see you for the next one xo
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lilliagradiewrites · 3 years
Text
go get her, kid. (peter parker)
Summary: Peter Parker is hopelessly in love with Tony Starks’ teenage daughter, and Stark encourages him to shoot his shot.
WC: 7.4k (holy shit)
Warnings: Bad language, , really nothing else. A lot of cute peter and a painful amount fluff. A tiny bit of angst too.
A/N: I found myself watching Tom Holland interview clips today and I just couldn’t help myself. Here we are: my first peter parker/ spiderman one shot! I have some Harry and Jj pieces in the works, so keep eyes out for that!
LET’S DO IT!!!
--------
Peter  found himself in this position far too often. Staring at you shamelessly while you worked away at whatever was on your desk, usually a school assignment or some tech project. His crush had been going on for quite some time, but it was getting more and more difficult to hide.
You and Peter had been best friends ever since your dad first recruited him. Something clicked between the two of you, causing an instant friendship. As time went on, you grew closer and closer to the superhero, and he quickly became your best friend. You began surrounding yourself with his friends without even realizing it, becoming close with Ned and MJ almost instantly. They were great people, and you loved being around them, but something about Peter was just different. Your energies matched perfectly for some reason. He got your humour, liked the same things as you, plus he was a great conversationalist and an even better listener. Some of your favorite memories were made with Peter.
Despite knowing practically everything about the boy, you were completely oblivious about his huge crush on you. Ned was the only person who truly knew, though many other people had their suspicions. The Avengers had an idea about it, considering you were what he talked about 90 percent of the time. MJ could tell because of the way he looked at you. When he looked your way, his pupils enlarged, his cheeks went pink, and the look on his face was entirely lovey-dovey. It was so obvious just in the way he gazed at you when you spoke.
He was looking at you in that way now, though you weren’t aware. He was meant to be studying (it was the whole reason he came over to your house, or at least that’s the reason he told you), but he couldn’t bring himself to care about chemistry homework when you looked so damn beautiful. Your hair was pulled back into a low ponytail keeping it away from your face as you worked. Your hands flew across the keyboard on your laptop, typing out something Peter probably wouldn’t understand. He was smart, sure, but you were intelligent in a different way. You were insightful and observant, you got things other people couldn’t begin to process. Your brain understood things in a different capacity than most. Peter assumes you got this trait from your father, who was the exact same way.
“What’re you typing? Something for school?”
You nodded, your attention not wavering from the laptop screen. “Yeah, an assignment for AP Lit.”
“Oh, that one project you told me about? With the essay and the powerpoint?”
You nodded again. “Mhm.”
Peter furrowed his brows, moving off your bed to come stand near you at your desk in an attempt to get a better look at what you were working so eagerly on. “I thought that project wasn’t due for another month.
“It’s not. I had an idea for the essay, and I figured if I get started early, I have more time to edit and perfect it.”
“You’re such a perfectionist.” Peter says with a light chuckle, looking at the state of your desk. It was both chaotic and organized at the same time. Pens, highlighters, pieces of paper, a book with annotations scribbled in the margins, notebooks with neat class notes printed inside of them in your pretty handwriting. They were all scattered about the surface, but Peter knew you well enough to know that there was always a method to your madness. As you observed longer, he realized that all of the items were in different sections on your desk, based on categories and subjects. He smiled lightly, realizing that this messy but technically neat surface was probably a very accurate representation of what goes on in your mind.
You finished the paragraph you were typing with a flourish, a satisfied smile resting on your lips. “There. I have a basic outline done for the essay portion. Obviously, I’ll have to go back and add a little more and elaborate on the points, but the basics are there.”
Peter glanced up at your laptop screen. His eyes were met with a never ending sea of typed out words. He smiled; this was so you. Your ‘outline’ is another student's essay doubled.
“You’re gonna write more than that?”
You looked back at him, and he saw your face for the first time during the encounter. His cheeks went slightly pink at the sight of you, and he prayed that you didn’t notice.
You didn’t, or perhaps you just didn’t say anything. You continued on with the conversation without skipping a beat, and relief washed over Peter because of this.
“Of course I am.” You stated with furrowed brows, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “This is so boring and basic, and has no detail whatsoever. Anybody who reads the summary of the book online could write this. I want my teacher to know that I thoroughly read and understood the novel, you know? I don’t want to submit some surface-level shit, I want to really pick apart the undertones of and the meaning behind the story.”
Peter nods, pretending to understand what you meant. He’d barely been paying attention to the words you were saying, too encapsulated with your beautiful eyes to do so. You turned back around towards your work, causing your best friend to snap out of his trance-like state.
“Do you wanna watch a movie or something? I’m bored.”
You had now picked up a pencil and a highlighter, working on the chemistry notes he was supposed to be taking. “Don’t you have work to do, Pete?”
“...No.”
You paused your writing to gaze at him skeptically.
“So you did your book report for english?”
“Yes.”
“Your worksheets for pre-calc?”
“Mhm.”
“You read the assigned chapters for Pschycology and finished the quiz you had to take on them?”
A nod was your only answer.
“What about chem? We have notes, essay questions, assigned reading, and a formulas worksheet due next tuesday. Have you done all of that?”
Peter hesitated for a moment. “Yes, I have.” It was a clear lie. “Can we watch a movie now?”
“There’s no way you did all of that. Go finish your work, and then we can watch a movie.”
A groan escapes Peters lips as he turns, resting against your desk. “But that’ll take forever. Your dad kicks me out at 11:00. We’ll never have time to watch one.” He whines.
You smile slightly, unable to fight it. Not replying to your friend, you spin around in your chair, raising your voice slightly, “FRIDAY, connect to dad please.”, the command directed to nowhere in particular.
“Connecting to Mr. Stark.” The familiar robotic voice echoes throughout your room.
“What’s up, Y/N/N?”
“Hey, Dad? Can Peter stay a bit later tonight?”
“Why?”  Your dad’s voice replies through a hidden speaker, his tone almost accusatory.
“Because he wants to watch a movie but I won’t let him until we’re done with homework. We won’t have enough time to finish the movie if he leaves at normal curfew? Pleeeaseee, Dad?”
You can hear your father sigh. “Fine, but only because it’s not a school night and I’m feeling generous. He’s gotta be gone by one though, no exceptions.”
Both of you smiled widely, and you erupted in cheers. “Thanks, Dad!”
“Kid, be ready for training at eight. A later curfew doesn’t mean an exception from your early morning saturday sessions.” The statement was directed at Peter, who nodded, despite your father not being able to see him.
“Got it, Mr. Stark.”
“FRIDAY, disconnect.” You heard Tony’s voice from the other side.
“Disconnected.” The sound of the AI confirming the command filled your room, and the space fell into a brief silence once again.
You spun in your chair, turning to face Peter with a smug smile on your face. “There, now we can get our work done, and watch a movie. Satisfied?”
Peter nodded, giving a roll of his eyes and heading back over to his workspace on your bed, plopping down and continuing his assignments.
An hour and half later, Peter gave a heavy sigh, finally closing his textbook with a smile. “All done!” he announced proudly.
“With everything?”
“Yes, everything.”
You closed your notebook you’d been working in, standing up. “Great. I’ve been done for half an hour, I’ve been working on future assignments while I waited for you to finish up. Ready to watch that movie?”
Peter nodded excitedly. He loved watching movies with you, because you always cuddled up close to him on your bed while you watched. Peter loved being in close proximity to you, even though it made him a little nervous.
“What do you wanna watch?” He asked, beginning to clear his things off your bed.
“I don’t know. We can discuss while we go make popcorn.”
Peter’s eyes lit up; he loved popcorn.
“Okay!” He tossed the rest of his things in his school bag, zipping it up quickly and dropping it in the corner of your room. “Lets go!”
You chuckled at his childlike behavior, following him out of your bedroom door towards your kitchen. The entire journey down the stairs, down the hall, and to the kitchen was filled with Peter going on and on about movies he wanted to see.
You grabbed the microwave popcorn from the pantry, unwrapping it and tossing it in, starting up the machine.
You continued to listen to Peter as soft popping sounds filled your kitchen.
“Oh, you guys have Disney plus, right? What if we watched that new star wars show thingy? The mandalorian?”
You smiled at this statement. Though you didn’t see the boy in any way but a friend (at least that’s what you told yourself), you found Peter’s Star Wars obsession very cute.
“I mean, I would watch that, but I don’t think I’d understand it.”
Peter’s brows furrowed. “Why not?”
“Because I’ve never seen the movies.”
You watched in amusement as Peter’s jaw dropped, his eyes widening in shock. “You’ve NEVER seen the Star Wars movies? Are you kidding me, Y/N?”  
You laughed at his reaction, moving to fetch the fully popped popcorn from the microwave and transfer it into a bowl. “No, I’m not kidding. I’ve been meaning to watch them forever, but I guess I never got around to it.”
“I can’t believe this!” Peter exclaims in disbelief. “We’ve been friends for a year and a half now, and you’ve never seen the Star Wars movies? This is insane! I talk about them so much… did you just never understand what I was talking about?”
You shook your head, chuckling. “Nope, I never have. I kinda just let you talk about it, because I planned on watching the movies. I figured I’d understand what you meant when I watched them.”
“Holy shit… we’re watching the first one tonight, Y/N. No arguments, we’re doing it.”
You grabbed the now prepared bowl of popcorn, smiling at your friend. “Alright, let’s do it.”
You headed back up the stairs, the sound of your footsteps accompanied with the sound of Peter murmuring in disbelief as you made your way to your room.
Once the two of you arrived at your destination, you closed the door, placing the bowl of popcorn on your still cluttered desk.
Peter climbed into your bed, while you rummaged through your drawers in search of comfy clothes. “I’m gonna change into pj’s before we start, i want to be comfy.”
Peter nodded. “FRIDAY, put Star Wars: The Phantom Menace on Y/N’s TV.” He spoke out in a slightly raised voice. The movie appeared on your screen, waiting to be started as you changed.
A few moments later, you emerged from your bathroom, now wearing a pair of Nike shorts and a slightly oversized t-shirt.
“Y/N, this is about to change your li-” Peter’s voice trailed off as he looked at you. The oversized shirt you were wearing… was his.
He choked on the piece of popcorn he’d been eating. “I-is that my shirt?”
You looked down on what you were wearing, realizing that it was, in fact, Peter's. “Oh shit. Yeah, sorry. You left it at the lab once, dad gave it to me to give to you, and I guess it just got mixed in with my clothes. I’ll wash it and give it back.
Peter shook his head, coughing again. “No, it’s okay. You can keep it. It looks better on you anyway.” his cheeks went pink as he realized what had just left his mouth. He hadn’t meant to say the last part.
Your cheeks went even pinker at the compliment, which you couldn’t deny made your stomach flutter a little bit. “Okay, thanks.” You smiled at your friend, climbing into the bed beside him. You cuddled in close to him, probably closer than need be, but Peter didn’t seem to mind.
“FRIDAY, start the movie.”
---
A few hours later, the credits were rolling, and Peter was red in the face. You had fallen asleep halfway through the movie, and had moved even closer to him in your slumber. You were now full-on cuddling the boy, and he had no idea what to do. Your leg was moved over his, your head lay on his chest. One arm thrown around his waist. He liked having you this close, but his stomach was in a constant state of butterflies, and he was worried that the sound of his heart beating loudly in his chest would wake you.
He didn’t know what time it was, but it must’ve been close to one, because a knock sounded from the other side of your bedroom door.
Without waiting for an answer, Tony entered the room. “Alright, kids, it’s almost curfew, time to wrap it up…”
His eyes landed on you and Peter, cuddled up in your bed.
“Kid, what the hell is going on here?”
“Mr. Stark! Um, Y/N fell asleep while we were watching the movie and she kinda… I don’t know.. Ended up like this? Nothing’s going on, I swear, it’s just… I didn’t want to wake her up…”
Peter’s face was the color of a tomato at this point. Stark still had his suspicions about the boy’s intentions, but had a feeling that Peter was telling the truth. “Alright, then. You’d better get your ass home and get some sleep. Like I said, you don’t get a free pass from training because you were cuddling with my daughter till one am.”
Peter’s eyes went wide. “No, Mr. Stark, I- We weren’t… I Wasn’t…”
Stark chuckled at the boy’s flustered state. “I’m screwing with you, Kid. Now get the hell out of my house. I’ll see you at 8 AM sharp at the compound”
Peter nodded frantically. “Yes, sir. 8 AM. Got it.”
Tony turned and left without another word, leaving Peter slightly panicked. Did Mr. Stark think that something was going on between him and Y/N? Would he be mad if there was? Peter didn’t know what to think, but he knew that he should probably leave before Tony decided to come back.
Peter climbed carefully out from underneath Y/N, setting her head gently on her pillow. He tried his very best not to wake her as he moved out of the bed.
“Goodnight, Y/N. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Love you lots.” Peter whispered to his ‘best friend’, planting a sweet kiss on her forehead. With that, he slid your window open, climbing out of it and swinging his way home.
Peter was completely oblivious to the fact that Tony had been standing quietly outside your door when Peter said his goodbyes, and Tony saw the entire encounter. The ‘goodnight’, the ‘i love you’, the sweet forehead kiss.
Tony had his suspicions, but that night it was confirmed: his newest recruit had it bad for his daughter.
Strangely, Tony didn’t find himself terribly angry over it.
The next morning, you awoke to the sound of your alarm blaring frustratingly loud. You groaned at the noise, picking up your phone to turn it off. The time on your phone screen read 7:00 AM. Groaning again, you pulled yourself reluctantly out of bed. As much as you hated getting up out of bed, you knew you had to if you ever wanted to complete your training. Your father had promised you that you’d get a spot on his team if you trained hard enough, and you were extremely determined. It had been your dream for years to become an Avenger, so you had been training your ass off for months to earn your spot.
This is how all of your Saturdays had begun for many weeks. An alarm going off at seven in the morning, waking you up to get ready for training at eight. It was a normal routine for you at this point, but for some reason the early wake up never got easier.
You moved about your regular morning routine, heading straight for your bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face. Once your basic hygiene was done, you brushed through your hair, changed into some clothes (your training uniform was at the compound), grabbed your phone, and headed downstairs.
You made a beeline for the kitchen, where your father was already making his morning coffee. When he noticed your presence, he gave you a tired smile.
“Morning, Y/N/N. Sleep well?”
Still half asleep, you gave an exhausted nod. “I shouldn’t have stayed up that late last night. I’ll yell at Peter when I see him. He always manages to convince me to let him stay late.”
For some reason, your father gave a light chuckle at your words. “I bet he does, sweetheart.”
Your brows furrowed at his statement. Something about his tone of voice didn’t sit right with you. “What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, making your way over to fix yourself a cup of coffee.
Your father smiled smugly at you, passing over the coffee pot and a mug. “Nothing, honey. Be ready in fifteen.”
Still suspicious, your eyes followed him as he placed his coffee mug in the sink and moved from the room. Why was he acting like this? Did Peter do something last night? You remembered falling asleep halfway through the movie, not being able to make it through the whole thing. Had something happened while you were sleeping?
Deciding not to let it bother you, you pushed the interaction from your mind, focusing solely on fixing your coffee. You were barely functional without it, and you knew you needed to be fully aware for training. You had to prove to your father that you could keep up with the Avengers, and that you’d be a useful asset to their team.
You downed the coffee quickly, knowing you had only a few minutes left to get ready. When your father gave you a time warning, he always meant it. And, you knew all too well, he would leave you behind if you were going to make him late.
He’d done it twice before.
Once you had finished chugging the remnants of your coffee, you placed the mug neatly in the sink, right beside where your father had left his. The drink had been an instant pick-me-up, and you automatically felt more awake. You found yourself getting more and more excited for the day ahead of you. Though waking up early on saturday mornings was a pain in the ass, you did enjoy training. You got to exercise, learn about cool technology, and screw around with your best friend. What wasn’t there to like?
Now that your best friend had crossed your mind, you pulled out your phone to text him. You sent him a message every morning, or he sent one to you. It was just a thing the two of you did. Over the past year the two of you had been close, it became some sort of routine.
Y/N/N: morning spidey. u awake?
Within moments, he was typing out a reply. He always answered your messages quickly.
Spidey: yes i am :) ready for training? I’m gonna kick ur ass in sprints today
You chuckled lightly at his response. You and Peter had always been insanely competitive towards each other, and it really jumped out during training. Unfortunately for you, Peter usually won the challenges. You always blamed it on the fact that he had more experience and super strength; he blamed it on the fact that ‘you suck’ and ‘he’s just that awesome’.
Y/N/N: u can try, but idk how that will work out. I’ve beaten u in all of the other sprints for weeks.
Spidey: doesn’t matter. I’m showing out today
Spidey: bring ur a-game, irongirl.
You smiled at the message.
Y/N/N: always do, spiderboy
He started typing back immediately, and you knew exactly why. He called you irongirl to screw with you, so you had begun calling him spiderboy to get on his nerves. It worked every time.
Spidey: Y/N!!! It’s spiderman!!!
Y/N/N: spiderboy!!! It’s nova!!!
Spidey: ugh. Ur impossible.
You grinned widely. Your playful banter with Peter has always been one of your favorite parts of the friendship.
Y/N/N: but u love me anyways :)))) see u soon
Spidey: u better be glad i do. see u soon
You reread the texts, unable to fight the smile on your face. Everytime you interact with Peter, you remember how much you truly love him. Being an avenger, and the daughter of one of the smartest and most famous men on the planet, wasn’t easy. Peter was the only one who had a taste of the madness that was your life. Having him around was having a sense of normalcy, and so were incredibly grateful for him.
Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your voice being called from the front door of your house.
“Y/N! Time to leave!” Without hesitation, you locked your phone, slipping it into the pocket of your sweatpants.
You hurried towards the front door, not wanting to be left behind again. When you arrived, your father was already standing there, holding the door open. You gave him a smile and a quick thank you for holding the door, then made your way out. The driver was already waiting patiently in front of your house. This was one of your dad’s six drivers.
“Morning, Bernard.” You say kindly to the driver, climbing into the back seat of the range rover. “How are you today?”
“I’m doing wonderful, Y/N. How are you?” The older man replied. You really liked Bernard, he was one of your favorite drivers. He was an older man, in his mid seventies, and you found him to be the sweetest person in the universe. Sometimes, he’d bring you your favorite candy when he used to pick you up from school, and he was always so considerate and kind.
“I’m good. Tired, but good.”
The man smiled at your reply. By this point, your dad had finished locking up the front door of the house, and he climbed in the backseat beside you.
“Good morning, Mr. Stark.” Bernard said professionally to his new passenger, and your dad nodded as a reply.
“Morning, bernard.”
The conversation ended there between the two men. Your father wasn’t a very social person with people he didn’t know, and Bernard was aware of this fact. He mostly talked to you when you were in the car, and Tony went on his phone and did Lord knows what.
“How is Dorothy doing? Is she feeling better?” You asked the man as he began pulling out of your driveway. Dorothy was Bernard’s wife, and she’d gotten sick the week prior. Given her age, Bernard was very worried about her.
Bernard smiled at your question. “Much, much better. They released her from the hospital yesterday, she’s back home and doing great. Thanks for asking.”
“Of course!” You grinned back. “Did you ever find out what she had?”
“Pneumonia, just a very bad case of it.”
You nodded in understanding. “Well, I’m glad she’s better! I was worried when you first told me.”
The conversation continued, talking about anything and everything as you drove to the compound. He told you about his wife, his four kids and what they’re doing. His granddaughter had a baby a few days before, and he was extremely excited about it.
After a 20 minute drive, you pulled up to the building you knew so well. Bernard went to the normal procedure of getting through the front gates, and then pulled up to the front of the compound.
“Well, here we are.” Bernard announced, parking the vehicle. You and your father began climbing out of the backseat.
“Thank you, bernard. Tell your granddaughter I said congratulations!”
He wished you a kind goodbye, and then you were gone, leaving the car and heading towards the compound.
When you walked into the main section of the building, you spotted your best friend in the kitchen. You had to admit, he looked incredible, standing near an open window in the early morning light. He was already dressed in his sleek, black training uniform. It was tight against his body, showing off his muscled body. Sometimes, you forget how beautiful Peter is.
“You’re staring…” A singsong voice came in your ear. You whipped your head towards the voice to see your father walking away from you, smirking. You stood there, feeling slightly confused. Had you really been staring at Peter?
At times, you forget that Peter is only your best friend. The two of you act like an old married sometimes. You spend all of your time together, and you know each other so well.
Strange feelings you couldn’t understand had crept up on you before, especially recently. You couldn’t deny Peter was attractive, and he was a great person, too. How could you not love him? The issue is, you found yourself loving him in a different way than before…
You shook your head, clearing your thoughts. You couldn’t be thinking about this right now, it’s not the place or time. Peter was standing right in front of you, and you needed to be focused for training.
You could process your feelings and emotions at a later time.
You began walking up to Peter, who was leaning up against the counter holding a cup of coffee.
“Morning, loser.” You said teasingly, greeting your friend. His head snapped in your direction, and he smiled when his eyes found you. (You thought you could see his cheeks go pink, too, but you forced yourself to ignore it.)
“Hey! How’d you sleep?”
“Pretty good.” You replied, leaning against the counter beside him. “I didn’t even notice that you left last night, I was really out. Did my Dad come in and tell you to leave?”
The pink in Peter’s cheeks darkened at your statement. Of course, this was the perfect time for your father to reenter the room. “Yeah, I did. He seemed very comfortable, but I kicked him out at one.”
Peter and your father were making direct eye contact. Your dad had that stupid smirk on his face, and peter was bright red.
You looked between the two of them, not knowing what to think. Before, you were just suspicious, but now it was confirmed: something happened last night between the two of them, and you were determined to find out what.
Hours later, you’re completely exhausted from training. You worked your ass off, and had successfully beat Peter in sprints.
“That’s right! You lost! How amazing is spiderboy now?”
Peter rolled his eyes in mock annoyance. “Whatever, Y/N. I let you win.”
Your jaw dropped. “You did not! I won because I’m better!”
Peter just smiled at you. You took a swig of the water bottle in your hands, turning around to look at your friend as you did.
The sight you were met with was very sweet. Peter stood there, smiling at you with a look you could only describe as adoration. You looked back at him, a small grin resting on your face.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” The brunette boy says cheekily.
“Why are YOU looking at ME like that, Parker?”
You took a step closer to him, his eyes widening slightly at your movement. He said nothing in response to your question (though it felt more like an accusation), and you smiled again.”Got nothing to say?” Your voice was barely a whisper.
“Parker!” You jumped what felt like 20 feet in the air at the sound of Natasha’s voice, breaking up the little moment between you and Peter.
You stepped back away from him, and you couldn’t help but notice the sadness flash across his face before he turned to the other woman in the room.
“Yeah, Nat?”
“Tony needs your help in the lab. I believe his exact words were ‘he needs to be here in five or I’ll kill him.’ A few minutes have already passed, I’d start running if I were you.”
Peter’s eyes widened for the second time. “Oh, shit, okay. Thanks, Nat.” He turned his head quickly in your direction. “I’ll meet you in your room when I’m done, okay?”
You nodded with a smile. Peter planted a quick kiss on your forehead before jetting off in the direction of the lounge.
Grinning to yourself, you turned towards the sink, your back facing Natasha. You begin cleaning out your now empty water bottle, thinking over the previous interaction with Peter. You loved when he kissed your forehead.
“So, how long have you liked him?” You were so deep in thought, Natasha’s voice made you jump once again. When you’d fully processed her words, your cheeks went pink.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Oh, don’t give me that. I know you like him.”
“Like who?” Play dumb. That’ll throw her off your trail… right?
“Peter! Come on, you’re caught. Just admit it, Y/n, you’re making things harder on yourself.”
Finally, you sighed. Drying your hands on a towel, you turned reluctantly back towards Nathasha. “Is it really that obvious?”
The woman broke out into a grin at your words. “Of course it is! You two are hopelessly in love with each other. It’s almost hard to watch.”
Your cheeks went pink at her statement. “With each other? Oh, no. You mean I’m hopelessly in love with him. It’s not mutual. I’m just his best friend.”
Nat rolled her eyes dramatically. “Oh, come on! ‘Just his best friend’ my ass. He loves you, Y/N. He’s even more obvious than you are.”
You shook your head quickly. “No, I promise you’re wrong.”
She looked at you pointedly. “I was right about you, wasn’t I?”
“Yes, but…” Your voice trailed off. You couldn’t argue with that. Nat grinned smugly at your reaction.
“That’s what I thought. Please confess to him when he meets you in your room later. It’s painful to watch, I can’t do it any longer.” And with that, Natasha was gone, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
Was it really thought obvious? Could everyone tell how you felt about peter? You could hardly even tell how you felt about him; the line between best friend and crush had been blurred for so long. If everyone could tell that you were hopelessly in love with your best friend, you would be incredibly embarrassed.
Even worse… what if Peter could tell that your in love with him?
You shook your head, as if clearing your thoughts. No. You couldn’t think like that. Of course he didn’t know; he would’ve said something.
Right?
Sighing, you walked off towards your room to take a shower, pretending you weren’t going to think of him while you were in there.
---
While Natasha was exposing your feelings, you were completely oblivious to the fact that Tony was doing the same thing to Peter in the lab.
When the boy walked in, Peter fully expected that he was being called for one of three reasons.
One: Tony had a new mission for Peter.
Two: Tony needed help with an experiment.
Or, three (the scariest option): Tony wanted to scold him for (albeit unintentionally) cuddling with his daughter the night before.
Peter could only be described as apprehensive as he walked carefully into the lab, where Tony was hunched over a table, working on something that Peter couldn’t see.
“Mr. Stark?” Peter spoke nervously, a timid way of letting Tony know of his presence. “Nat said you needed me. Is that true, or was she just trying to get rid of me?”
“No, no, I called for you.” Tony replied. He made a few last touches on whatever he was working on, then turned around towards peter. “I wanted to talk to you.”
Okay, option two is eliminated. Now, the question at hand is: will it be option one or three?
“Oh, okay. What about?” Peter said casually (or at least, that's how he hoped it came across.)
Tony gave a pointed look to the boy before speaking again. “My daughter.”
Peter’s eyes widened slightly.
Shit, shit, shit.
Option three it is.
“Is this about last night sir? I swear I can explain-” Peter was quickly speaking.
But, before he could finish, Tony was cutting him off.
“This isn’t about last night, kid. I mean, it kind of is, but not really.”
Peter’s brow furrowed.
Unknown option number four?
“What do you mean, sir?”
“I saw what happened before you left last night. The forehead kiss, the ‘I love you,’ all of it.”
Peter was bright red in seconds. “Oh…”
“Do you love my daughter, Peter?”
The boy’s cheeks somehow managed to go a darker shade of pink.
“I-I uh.. O-of course I do, she’s, uh, she’s my best friend.” Peter stammered out.
Tony narrowed his eyes. “That’s not what I mean, Peter.” The man says, his tone borderline accusatory. “Do you love her, love her?”
Silence. Peter didn’t know what to say, so he opted for nothing at all.
“I already know the answer, Peter, so you might as well just come out and say it.”
Peter pondered his next move. If he played his cards wrong, this conversation could end in him losing his life. Tony Stark was not one to be messed with, especially when it comes to Y/N.
On the other hand, Tony Stark was not one to be lied to, either.
Peter sighed, accepting his fate. “How did you know?”
Much to Peter’s surprise, Tony gave a small smile. “I see the way you look at her, kid. I’ve looked at many girls like that in my day. That enamoured look. You're in love with my daughter, and I have some questions.”
“Questions?”
“Yes, questions, kid. Keep up.”
Peter nodded. “Alright.”
“How long?” Tony asked.
“How long…?” Peter didn’t understand what Tony was aking.
“How long have you been in love with Y/N! How long have you known?”
Peter looked away, breaking eye contact momentarily out of nerves.
When did he begin loving you? Now that he’s truly thinking about it, he can’t really remember.
Maybe it was the first mission that the two of you did together, back when you still known as irongirl. It was a bank robbery, an easy task that Tony had given for your very first mission.
Maybe it was that one time when you dragged him out of bed at 6 AM so that you could show him your favorite coffee shop.
Perhaps it was when you took that faithful mission to Asgard, when you gained your powers accidentally, earning your new title as Nova.
Or, it could be the time that you and him stayed up late binge watching a show he couldn’t remember. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you that night. You looked so beautiful that night, getting excited as something cool happened in the show. Your hair was tied back, wearing an oversized shirt, your face makeup free. He couldn’t help but smile as you laughed, and didn’t think he’d ever heard a more beautiful sound in the world.
Yeah, he thinks it was that night.
“Um… about ten months ago, I think? That’s when I realized, but I think I’ve loved her for longer. I just forced myself not to acknowledge it, I guess.”
Tony nodded in understanding. “I get that. What is it about her?”
Another question the boy had to think about.
“There’s a lot of things, I think. Like how excited she gets when she talks about things she’s passionate about. Oh, and the way she laughs when something’s funny in a movie or a show or something. And the way she sends me memes or videos that she thinks are funny. They’re usually not very funny, but of course I think it’s hilarious just because she sent it to me. And she always listens to me when I talk, even if I’m talking about something stupid and boring like science stuff I think is interesting. She talks back to me like she cares what I’m saying, and I know she probably doesn’t, but she acts like she does, and that’s enough. She always drags me out to go on adventures, or, at least, that’s what she calls them. Usually it’s just going to get coffee or try out some new restaurant she heard about but it’s still fun. She’s just so amazing, and I think she makes me the best version of myself.”
The rant ended, and for a moment, Peter forgot that Tony was even in the room.
“Damn. I wasn’t expecting that. I’m impressed, kid. To be honest, I expected some shallow answer like ‘she looks hot in her suit’ or something like that.”
“No, sir. Of course, she’s beautiful, but Y/N is just so much more than that.”
Tony gave another sweet smile to the boy in front of him.
“She likes you, too, you know.”
Peter’s head snapped toward Tony again.
What the hell did he just say?
“What?”
“Y/N. She likes you.”
“No way. She just sees me as her best friend. I’m probably like a brother to her. She doesn’t like me like that.”
“But she does, kid. I know my daughter better than I know myself. She is head over heels for you, spidey. Which is why you should tell her how you feel.”
“Tell her how I feel? Why would I do that?”
“Because she likes you, too, and then you two will be stupid kids in love.”
“Are you serious?”
“Aren’t I always?”
Peter paused for a moment. “I thought you’d kill me when you found out I liked your daughter, not convince me to go talk to her about it.”
“I’m gonna be honest with you, kid. I brought you in here with the intention of killing you, or just telling you to stay away from my daughter. But after you went on that little rant about why you loved her, I just couldn’t tell you to keep away from her. You really love her, kid, I can tell. So go talk to her.”
“You’re sure you won’t be mad if I ask her out?”
Tony shook his head and smiled.
“Go get her, kid.”
-------
Freshly clean and feeling a significant amount better, you sat on your bed scrolling on your phone. Thoughts of Peter had begun to fade (mainly because you forced them out of your mind) and that helped to keep you from stressing about what’s to come.
You had decided to confess how you feel to Peter.
True, this plan could ruin everything. Today could be the day you lost your best friend, and that thought made you want to cry.
But today could also be the day you finally get to kiss the boy you’ve loved forever, and that thought also made you want to cry.
You didn't have much time to think about it further, however, because Peter was knocking on your bedroom door.
“Y/N? It’s me. Can I come in?”
You paused immediately, your heart rating speeding up.
Oh, shit. This is it. This could be the beginning or the end of you and Peter Parker.
You took a deep breath, steadying yourself. It was now or never.
“Yeah, Petey, come on in.”
The door opened, and the boy you loved so much walked in. His cheeks were pink, you noticed. His cheeks only went pink when he’s nervous. Why was he nervous?
You could tell by his damp hair that he had also showered before coming to your room.
“I need to talk to you about something.” He rushes out.
Oh.
“Same.” is your reply. What else are you meant to say?
“Oh, really? Well, uh, you can go first. I’ll wait.”
You shook your head frantically. “No, you first. You said it first, so it’s only right that you go.”
Peter’s hand went to the back of his neck, rubbing it. Another nervous habit of his.
“Can I sit down?”
You nodded. Why was he even asking? Usually he’d just plop down whenever he pleased, no questions asked. This behavior was very out of character for the boy you knew so well.
The boy sat down on the edge of your bed, and then took a deep breath. “Okay. I don’t know how to tell you this, but I just have to. I don’t want you to hate me, and I really hope this doesn’t affect our friendship, but…”
Peter paused for a moment, and looked into your eyes. They were brimming with concern, and he just couldn’t hold it back anymore. He broke the eye contact you’d been maintaining, mustered up all the courage he could, and then blurted it out.
“I’m in love with you. I have been for I don’t know how long. I wasn’t planning on telling you, because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but it was starting to get physically painful and I just- I can’t hide it anymore. I love you and I’m sorry.”
Peter clenched his eyes shut, unable to look at your face. He waited (very anxiously) for a reaction, but it never came. Eventually, he opened his eyes, gaining the burst of bravery it took to look at you.
Your jaw was dropped, the expression on your face unreadable.
Oh, no. No no no no no. He’d fucked up. He fucked everything up and now you were never going to speak to him again. He’d lost you. Damn you, Tony Stark.
“Y/N…” He began his apology solemnly. “I’m-”
But he never got to finish his sentence.
Because you were pouncing on him before he had the chance to.
You were on him within seconds, kissing him with so much intensity that he fell back on the bed. He was taken aback for a moment, but quickly kissed you back.
For a moment, the two of you just lay there, wrapped in one another, kissing like there was no tomorrow.
A kiss that made up for all the ones both of you had longed to have in the months before.
You pulled away gently, looking into Peter’s eyes.
“I have loved you for so fucking long, Peter. I was going to tell you that I loved you today.”
“Are you serious?”
You laughed lightly. “Of course I’m serious, you dumbass.”
“Hey!” Peter feigned offense.
You pecked his lips. “You’re a cute dumbass, though.” And then you were kissing him again, and it’s all you could’ve asked for.
----
After a while, the two of you had finally tired each other out, and now you sat cuddled against each other on your bed. No movie or show was playing; it was just you and Peter, listening to each other’s breathing and the sound of your heartbeats.
You looked up at the beautiful boy you were cuddling with, only to find he was already looking down at you.
“Aren’t you going to ask me out, Parker?”
Peter’s eyes widened, and his cheeks went red (for the millionth time that day.)
“Oh, yeah, I- I just thought- nevermind, uh- Y/N, will-”
“Yes, of course I’ll be your girlfriend, Petey.” You cut him off, saving him a few extra minutes of nervous stammering.
He smiled sheepishly at you, then leaned down to bring you into a kiss.
You cuddled back down into his chest, smiling warmly.
You can confidently say that right now, in this moment, you are the happiest you’ve ever been.
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Chapter One.
a/n: welcome to the first chapter of wtsgd! i’m so excited for you all to read this story and for what’s to come. please please please support content creators bc we’re doing this for free and it takes up a lot of energy to put out stories. so reblog, leave feedback, and send a message to motivate and support them. happy reading everyone <3
SERIES MASTERLIST | word count: 6.4k
come talk to me about wtsgd! i’d love to know your thoughts!
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March 4, 2017
The trunk was filled with heavy boxes that were labeled with thick black sharpie, which didn’t seem to leave Luciana’s senses; and one too many suitcases filled with her many articles of clothing that she couldn’t get rid of—no matter how hard she tried—since she was too much of a hoarder and every piece of clothing seemed to have a lost memory in them that she tried very hard to think of, which only meant that it was worth keeping. 
A droplet of sweat leaked down the side of her face due to  her nonstop packing and heavy-lifting from her childhood room upstairs to her dad’s car in the driveway. It didn’t help that the sun was beaming down at her with every move like she was on center stage, in front of the spotlight, but it made much more sense for the sun to do that because that’s where she belonged: on stage. 
Moving to Brooklyn, New York from Cambridge, Massachusetts during, what felt like, the coldest but the sunniest day of March wasn’t the smartest move—to be fair, Luciana was never one to make a smart move, anyways—but it was one that needed to be done. Plus, all the lifting seemed to have warmed her up. 
Her destination, or now, home, in New York was one that she’d been anticipating for a while now. She had auditioned for the role as Kim in Miss Saigon on Broadway in November, and she’d gotten a callback in January for the role as the second Kim, meaning she would be on rotation to perform every week or two weeks, so the main Kim could rest. But she would still have to go to rehearsals and be on the side of the stage watching the show just in case she needed to jump in at the last minute. 
It wasn’t her ideal way of playing the main lead, but nonetheless, she was grateful for the opportunity, and she would take any chance that was thrown at her to not only take another step towards her dream, but also another learning opportunity to make her a better actress. 
Little Luci would’ve been so proud of the present Luci because it’d been her dream ever since she was younger, to be on stage and eventually, be on the big screen. Although she was far from completing her dream of being a face in Hollywood, this was a step that would take her to where she wanted to be in the future, and for that, she was proud of herself. 
As a child, Luci had been in various commercials; from being the kid that played with slime and had no lines but to just put on a big smile while the sticky substance ran through her small hands, to being the daughter in a car commercial with one line that said “Are we there yet?” with a groan and a face of exhaustion as if she were the one driving the car. She hoped that these commercials would have someone recognize her talent, to cast her as a Disney star, but that would require moving to California, which her parents were wary of. 
The commercials stopped when she reached middle school. Her early adolescent years consisted of an abundance of attitude and mood swings; Luci was a very tough and determined kid. Her love for acting had grown into a big balloon that was let go and on its way into the galaxy where no one could reach it—where no one could mess with her achieving her dream. 
She would always stand in front of her white wooden framed mirror—with delicately painted colorful flowers around the border—reciting lines that she heard from a television series or the films that she watched, and she would write them down in her blue notebook. Sometimes, her parents would let her search the script up if it was available online. But oftentimes, she would test and challenge her memorization, and listen to it by ear; testing her mind, and eventually, her memorization skills were immaculate by the age of eleven. 
It was perfect timing because by the time she was in middle school, she was able to snatch the roles she wanted when her school’s drama department held school plays. Her family thought that she would start to hate being on stage since school plays always ran until late evening, but being part of the productions had only enhanced her love for her talent, and it only prepared her for a quarter of what her future may look like. 
All in all, from a very young age, she always knew that she wanted to become an actress. The spotlight or the center of the camera was where she always craved to be. 
And she was finally making that dream come true. 
A black Toyota Camry pulled into the space behind the car that was filled with her belongings. Ren and Beatrice, Luci’s lovely parents, both get out of the car with a pink box of donuts—a snack for the road and for when she gets to her new apartment. 
“Ready, Lucky?” Beatrice asked, rubbing her daughter’s back. She was quite bummed to see Luci leave her childhood home, but she’s proud to see Lucky Luci chase her dreams. She was, after all, twenty-five and was bound to move out at some point, but to see it actually happen made Beatrice quite emotional. 
“Ma, please, don’t cry…” Luci frowned as Beatrice pressed her fingertips to the corners of her eyes. She wrapped her arm around her mother’s shoulder, comforting her. “You’re all coming to New York in a month, right? To watch me on stage?” Luci asked, reassuring herself that she would see her family in a different state to rescue her from her loneliness. 
Luci was an independent woman. She could do tasks by herself, go places alone, and she wouldn’t have a problem with it; she enjoyed the company of herself. But to know that at some point she might be alone—that everyone had left her behind or forgotten about her—was what scared her. She needed to know that the people who loved her unconditionally wouldn’t forget about her. 
“Of course we’re going!” Ren exclaimed with a smile that Luci was going to miss seeing everyday. “We can’t miss our baby on the Broadway stage. If we could, we’d go to every damn show that you’re in, but that would be a lot of gas, no?” 
She chuckled, nodding her head. She felt tears pricking her eyes at how supportive her parents were—they’ve always been. If she could, she would take them with her to New York, but her one bedroom apartment and their work said otherwise. 
“Now, Lucky, don’t cry.” It was Beatrice’s turn to comfort her daughter. Like any parent, when they see their child cry, it breaks their heart and they cry too. “We’re gonna see you real soon. You can always come back anytime you want. We’re just a phone call away and we’ll pick you up,” Beatrice said between sniffles. The mother and daughter were embracing so tenderly and comfortingly—enjoying every last moment together until they got to see each other again. 
“Jeez, you’re both the same—always crying!” Ren interrupted, making the two women laugh; and he was glad they found what he said amusing because he couldn’t handle the sad moment. “C’mon here, my Lulu.” Luci settled into her father’s arms, hugging him tightly. She’s always been her dad’s girl, despite having a close relationship with her mother, her relationship with her father was something that felt like home; he always knew what to say and when to say it. It helped that she was the female version of him. “You’re gonna be the best star out there, I’m sure of it. Now, I want you to have fun, alright? The fame, the fortune, the big city…it doesn’t amount to anything if you’re not having the time of your life” He comfortingly rubbed Luci’s back, holding her in a warm and tight squeeze. 
Luci smiled at her father’s words. She was always a bit hard on herself when she would mess up or forget a line or a movement that correlates to a specific line in her script. When she was younger, she would beat herself up for a sliver of a moment; she would cry into her pillow—sobs loud enough that they were heard from downstairs. Luci would think that she wouldn’t become a well-known actress just because of the minor forgetfulness her mind had presented. But Ren would gently tap on her ocean blue door, letting himself in because he knew his daughter didn’t have the energy to get up and let him in, and he would sit beside her, gently urging her to sit up with him. Once she complied, after many groans of refusals, she would be glad she did because her father looked deeply into her eyes—and it was like looking into the reflection of clear and clean water—and told her she was a star. It was only three words, but those three words reminded her to never give up and get up when she would hit the pavement of what she felt like were her fallen hopes and dreams. 
Ren would then end it with a statement of advice that had always lingered in her mind, resonating to the silent and harshful words that she tells herself. ‘Nothing will amount to anything if you’re not having the time of your life.’
A rush of gratitude settled upon her as her eyes became glossier by the seconds she was in Ren’s arms. Beatrice looked at her greatest treasures fondly, a smile appeared on her face only for it to be replaced by a look of confusion. 
“Where is that damn brother of yours? He said he was going to be here at ten!” Beatrice interrupted the sweet moment she was having with her father, making them disconnect from the hug—just as Ren did with Luci and Beatrice.  
Speaking of the devil, her dear brother was making his way towards home on the side of the street, wearing a grey sweatshirt that was stained with his sweat as his earphones were nestled in his ears, loudly playing music. He loudly sang along to some rap song, breath staggered as he rapped along with his hands. 
Nathan smiled once he stepped foot onto the driveway as he took out his earphones, seeing his family look at him vigilantly. Luci laughed, shaking her head. 
“Hey, there’s our superstar, little Ana!” Nathan opened his arms, ready to hug you but she quickly stopped him, curving her spine backwards to deny his hug. Ana had been one of the many nicknames her family had called her when she was growing up from the second half of her name, but Ana seemed to have stuck with Nathan as no one else really called her that, so it was his own personal nickname for her. 
“Ew, please, do not hug me.” Her face wrinkled in disgust from the spell of her brother’s sweat from his run. Nathan chuckled, playfully rolling his eyes before turning towards his parents. 
“Ooh, donuts-”
Beatrice slapped the back of his hand before he even got a chance to open the pink donut box. “Not until you shower and change. Lulu needs to be in Brooklyn by three!” 
“Ow, mother!” Nathan whipped his hand away from Beatrice’s burning slap, although he was just playing around and being dramatic. “But fine, alright. The star always gets what she wants, am I right?” He dropped his head towards Luci, sighing before he hurried inside the house to take a quick shower and change. 
Luci giggled, telling her parents that she would be right back to go up to her room to check if she’d gotten everything, even though she knew that she had everything, she just needed to reminisce alone for a moment. 
Her feet took her up the wooden stairs, where she, for some unknown reason, always spent her time sitting on as she leaned her back against the wall and read or drew. Nathan always found it weird of her when they were doing homework when they were younger, but it was just one of the many fun anecdotes he could tell reporters if he’s asked about their childhood. 
Pushing open her ocean blue door that she never changed because she loved the color, she was met with the emptiness of what was once her sanctuary. Despite the paint on the wall changing, the replacement of furniture, and rearrangement of her childhood room, Luci could still see the baby pink walls where she hung up various posters of her celebrity crushes when she was eight. She could still see herself walking over to her Cinderella white wooden dresser as she pulled out an inflatable microphone from her drawer before she walked over to her bed to sing her heart out with her cousin. In the corner of her room was her mirror that she painted colorful flowers along the border when she was younger, and she definitely did not want to change or get rid of it; it wasn’t difficult to stir up a memory when she was in front of that mirror because up until now, she was always reciting her lines to her own reflection until the late night. 
All of these memories that Luci held within her heart would help her ground herself—remind her where she came from. No matter where her career took her, she would always be the girl that was firstly known in her room, crying, laughing, and acting within the four baby pink walls until she was sixteen, and then it changed to an ecru white. The feeling of nostalgia clutched her chest, and for the second time today—not even noon, yet—she found herself crying. 
She silently sobbed in her sanctuary. Her chest felt tight, like her heart was grasping onto the memories, begging her to not leave, to not move on. But moving on would mean being stuck, and she didn’t want to feel stuck—she just never wanted to be in one place where the walls would slowly feel like they were closing in on her. She didn’t want to be in one place and eventually hated it, so for that, she had to move on. 
A soft knock was heard from the outside of her bedroom, making Luci turn around hastily. She found Beatrice standing in the doorway, warmly smiling at her daughter, and keeping the tears at bay because she needed the comfort of her mother more than her mother’s tears. 
“My Lucky Star…” Beatrice walked into the room, welcoming Luci into her arms. “You okay?” 
Luci deeply inhaled and exhaled as she calmed herself down from her cries. “I’m alright. It’s just hard saying goodbye to this place—to my room.”’
“Oh, Lulu. You don’t need to say goodbye. I know you’ll be coming back here soon, anyways. I know you love home too much to completely stay away.” Beatrice was subtly trying to remind Luci about her love for her hometown, for her home, but her words also were trying to remind her about that certain love for her home and to never forget that love so she doesn’t stray away because Beatrice was simply afraid Luci would never want to come back once she discovered the luxury of her career. And even though she knew her Lulu wasn’t one to forget about her family, Beatrice would never admit her fear. 
Luci sniffled, wiping her tears away as she pulled away from her mother’s embrace. “Yeah, I know. Just…doesn’t feel real that I’m leaving.” 
“Sure, you’re leaving, but you’re going off to do bigger and better things. You were never one to stay in one place, physically and mentally—you were always moving, always loved learning more. And I’ve always been so intrigued and interested in how your mind works.” 
“Ma…” The waterworks seemed to be the highlight of the move. 
“I’m serious! I’m so genuinely proud of you. You’ve been keeping your talent—and I don’t mean ‘high school plays’ talent. I mean your Broadway, Hollywood, Academy winning talent. Now, you get to showcase your light in front of thousands of people.” Beatrice always had a way of boosting Luci’s self-esteem, making her ego a tad bit more bigger than it already was. She didn’t mind if her self-esteem had skyrocketed into the galaxy of her dreams, but she always reminded Luci that being humble and kind always outweighed being obnoxious and arrogant. “Now, enough with these tears. You’ve got a road trip to New York. C’mon, now.” 
They made their way downstairs and out the door where Ren and Nathan were talking about the latest basketball game of the Celtics. The trunk was closed, and the only thing waiting was Luci herself. 
“There she is! Ready?” 
Luci took a deep breath, turning her head to look back at the pastel yellow house that had kept her safe for the past twenty-five years. From here, she knew everything was going to change. Whether it’d be for the good or if things would go downhill from here? She didn’t know; all she knew was that she was going to be doing what she loved and she was going to have the time of her life doing it. 
“Yeah, I’m ready.” 
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The state of Connecticut seemed to pass by quickly from the car as Nathan drove at a decent seventy miles per hour; the state vanished just as quickly as when they entered. 
Luci mindlessly looked out the window, thinking about everything and nothing at once as she drowned out the music playing through the speakers of the car and Nathan’s voice singing along. 
The cars passing by, the bystanders, and the locals filled the streets and highways, making her wonder what all of these people’s stories were—wondering if they lived in this city or if they were just stopping by to visit, or if they’re just going through the state to get to the one next door just as she was. Maybe she’s had an encounter or simply passed by them on the street in a world that seemed too large but small at the same time. She always pondered on whether everyone else thought the way she thought—if they wondered what her story was or the people around them. 
The world is an interesting place and there were so many intriguing people out there, making her more excited by the minute as she takes on this new adventure in her life that would be completely life changing. Luci’s going to be meeting so many new people that, she would hope, have an impact on her personal life or career. 
“Nervous?” Nathan broke the comfortable silence between them. 
Luci raised her brows and curled her lips into her mouth. “A bit.” 
He nodded, thinking for a moment. Nathan was always one to think before he spoke, and it was a quality that some people needed to learn how to do. He quickly learned that lesson when he was in high school; one of his friends, Johnny, and him were going back and forth joking around with one another. And for some odd reason, teenage boys liked to joke around about fucking everything, so Nathan had said “Yeah, I fucked your mom, what about it?” without thinking. Johnny stayed silent, the rest of their friends were waiting for his comeback, but they only received tears that glossed over his eyes before he ran off to a different part of campus, away from the lunch tables. Nathan found him behind the orchestra building with his face pressed on his kneecaps, crying. Later, he found out that Johnny’s mother had passed away before their sophomore year started and he hadn’t told anyone, which left Nathan quite speechless, but it was a lesson that he learned: to think before anything comes out of his mouth. 
“I know you’ll do great. You were born to do this, born to be on stage. Everything you do is to greater your experience and opportunities. All the mistakes you’re gonna make, which we both know you’re gonna make, they’re gonna be learning lessons for you to continue doing what you’re good at doing; the mistakes are there so you can better yourself,” he reassured, occasionally glancing at you briefly before averting his eyes back onto the highway. 
Luci smiled, never taking her eyes off her older brother. She leaned closer to the middle console, where his right arm was resting on the padded console. Hugging his arm tightly and resting her cheek on his shoulder, she accepted and appreciated his advice, his words. They made her heart fill up with so much gratitude and love, insanely grateful and happy that she had such an amazing and supportive family who always knew the right things to say when they could sense her nerves and anxieties powering through the roof. 
“You’re gonna kill it out there. This is just a step towards where you wanna go, where you actually wanna be.” 
She nodded, looking to her right as they quickly passed the ‘Welcome to New York’ sign from the state line of Connecticut and New York, and it was the sign indicating her new home. 
Nathan pulled into the apartment’s parking garage, entering in with the code that the complex gave Luci on the silver keypad as the two watched the automatic gate arm swing up to the side, and Nathan entered the parking structure, parking in one of the many spaces available. 
Luci excitedly got out of the car, rushing to the trunk where Nathan had opened it from inside the car. Unfortunately, she had forgotten to bring the hand dolly to help carry the boxes, which meant that the siblings were going to have to carry the many boxes she packed by her own hand and strength. But luckily, some of them weren’t that heavy; most of the items in the brown boxes were kitchenware and she figured she could just drag those. 
One by one, they took one box each and headed for the elevator, where it took them to her apartment floor—floor four. Luci grabbed the keys from her purse that contained two copper keys hanging on one single silver loop and a small keyless sensor, and she unlocked her navy blue door, revealing her new apartment. 
When she entered, she was met with a door across the entrance that she would use for her coats and shoes, things that she would need when she’s rushing out the door. Going through the small hallway in from the entrance, it led her to another small hallway to her left where her bedroom and guest bathroom was; and to her right, it would take her to the kitchen and living space. With four big windows with black window frames, the natural light really came in, making her place brighter for saving electricity. 
Walking in and putting the boxes against the black cabinets in the kitchen, she immediately fell in love with the space, her space. Despite already taking a tour of the apartment a few months prior to her official move in day, it felt different being there for the second time because she now knew that this place was hers. She saw it in a different light, and she was already anticipating the memories she was going to make in her new home. The place was empty; and with every step and every noise from her mouth, the room would echo, and she loved it. There was something satisfying about the echo in an empty space that was hers, like she wanted to furnish the hell out of it, but at the same time, she didn’t mind the echo. 
“This is your new home.” Nathan put an arm around Luci’s shoulder. He got a bit emotional seeing his baby sister grow up and move away from home, but he was excited for all of the experiences and memories she was going to make. Luci looked up at him, not saying anything but smiling as she was speechless. Nathan could practically feel the excitement run through her and all he did was chuckle at her speechlessness. “C’mon, let’s go get the rest of the boxes.” 
For the next fifteen minutes, Luci and Nathan hauled the boxes from the car, to the elevator, and down the hallway to her apartment. There were about four more boxes left in the trunk, and they would’ve been finished by now if they hadn’t been taking breaks. 
Nathan’s phone rang as he was sitting on the floor, leaning against the cabinets of the kitchen across from Luci who was sitting in the corner where her dining table would be. 
“Hello?” Answered Nathan. “What? Tonight? I’m in New York. I’m helping my little sister move here. Uh, okay. Sure. Bye.” He groaned, standing up. 
“Who was that?” Luci asked, nosy as she was. 
“That was one of the board members at Mass General Hospital.” Luci’s eyes widened. “They just asked me if I could come in tonight to teach and supervise the new residents.” Nathan was a general doctor working in the Emergency Room as Mass General back in Boston. He’s always wanted to teach with all the knowledge he’s stored in his brain—always wanting someone to learn a thing or two when they spoke to him, and this was his chance. 
“Holy shit, that’s amazing, Nate!” Luci stood up, excited for him.
He started to breathe a bit heavily and Luci immediately took notice; she could practically feel the nerves coming out of him, the same nerves she felt while going in for an audition. “Yeah, I actually have to leave, like, right now.” 
“Hey, hey.” She quickly stopped him from running out of the building and out of his mind. “Come here—breathe with me for a second.” She held onto his wrists gently. 
“Luci, I have to-”
He pulled away, but she tugged him back. “You’re going to drive yourself through the highway, and who knows what will happen, you might get pulled over and you won’t make it to the hospital. So, just take sixty seconds to breathe with me.” 
For the remainder of the time that they had together, they took some deep breaths. She spoke encouraging and uplifting words to him to calm down his nerves and anxieties that he seemed to drive himself over a cliff for, and it seemed to work as Nathan’s shoulder’s weren’t so tense and the grip on her hands had loosened. 
The two of them walked down to the parking garage where Nathan took down the last four boxes and placed them by the entrance of the complex. He was adamant on helping her get the last few boxes up to her apartment, but she shrugged it off, telling him that she was able to carry them and that he needed to leave because he’s most likely going to hit traffic during rush hour. 
“Call me if you need anything, okay? I mean it. I will drive here in a heartbeat.” 
“I will, I will-”
“Just not tonight,” he joked. “This is the highlight of my career.” His smile was so bright that it was like he was a little kid on Christmas again who just received a Hot Speed set from Santa. 
Luci laughed, hugging him goodbye. “And call me if you need anything too. I’ll miss seeing you everyday,” she admitted, a slight frown on her face. She thought she’d have the entire day with Nathan, but it was cut short due to his work but she wasn’t mad about that at all because she knew there'd be plenty of times when he would drive down to walk along the New York streets and see her perform. 
“I’m gonna miss you too, Ana. But I love you and I’ll see you next month!” He hurried into his car, and Luci watched him as he pulled out of the driveway, waving at the rear view mirror to say one last ‘see you later’ to his little sister. 
Walking back to the curb where all of the boxes were set, Luci picked one up to test how heavy it was and she barely made it upright without almost hurting her back, so she put the box down to take a proper breather. She decided to drag the box closer to the door of the complex—which saved her a few steps without completely dropping the box that was labeled ‘glass plates’—and pulled the handle of the door, only to find it completely locked. There was a slight panic that flew through her until she realized that she needed her keyless tag that she had to press against the pad on the wall to get inside the complex, so she blew out a sigh of relief before reaching down to her pocket for her key, and with just her luck, her keys weren’t in her pocket or with her at all. Then she started to panic again. 
Luci quickly walked out of the parking garage and to the front of the building where the leasing office was to find them closed, which was odd because it was Saturday, but apparently their servers were down so they just decided to take the entire day off. She rolled her eyes annoyingly, walking back to the garage in a fast manner because she didn’t want anyone to take her boxes, and so she figured that she could just wait until someone left the complex or arrived. She even left her phone at her place, so it wasn’t like she could call anyone to help her, but some sort of entertainment would help the time go by quicker. 
Sitting on the curb in the garage, pacing back and forth on the sidewalk, and humming the melody from the Miss Saigon soundtrack, an hour goes by until she sees someone walk past the automatic gate barrier, heading towards the entrance where he opened the door with his tag. Luci sprinted towards the door, calling out for help. 
“Wait, wait!” The man turned around confusingly, taking his AirPod out of one ear. She caught up, taking deep breaths as she waved at the man. “Sorry, I’ve been out here for an hour and I completely forgot my key.” He didn’t say anything but stared at her, wondering why he’s never seen this woman before. The apartment complex really only had four floors, and he’s sure that he’s seen everyone who’s lived here. She noticed that he looked down at the boxes and back at her. “Oh, I just moved in.” He nodded more understandingly. “Do you mind holding the door for me?” 
“Sure.” Was the first thing he told her before stepping aside to hold the door. She took another deep breath, getting into the correct form so she doesn’t throw her back out, and began to lift the heavy box. He noticed her struggling, and he felt foolish for not offering his help in the first place when he noticed the four boxes on the cement. “Here, sorry, let me help with that. Get the door, yeah?” Luci’s heart flipped once she heard his deep, accented voice before she gratefully thanked him and he grabbed the box from her, replacing her hands with his and the slightest brush of their fingers made her flustered; he held the box tightly to his chest without much struggle. 
“Yeah, let me just get this one.” Luci grabbed a much lighter box that had all of her shoes, and held the door for him with her foot as he made his way inside of the building and to the elevator. He pressed the button with the arrow pointing up, and luckily, they didn’t have to wait for more than five seconds before the bell at the top chimed and the stainless steel doors opened. 
With the heavy box in his hands, he still let Luci walk in first, which made her smile and he followed in as she pressed with the bold ‘4’ printed on it. He held the box in between his chest and the other end of the bar on the wall as they waited in silence as the elevator lifted them up to her apartment floor, and she brushed past him when he lifted his arm, gesturing her to go first. 
Her front door was closed but it was unlocked, which only made sense, so she opened her door, putting the box next to the entrance and politely asking the man to put it next to the one you put down. 
“Thank you so much, really. You have no idea how much I appreciate your help.” 
“It’s no problem. I was the same when I moved here too—forgot my keys and was locked out.” He related to make her feel lighter about the situation since it was an honest mishap. 
“Did you go to the leasing office?” She asked curiously. 
“Yeah, but they were closed.” 
“They’re closed today too! It’s like they do that on purpose whenever someone new moves in.” The man chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. 
She hadn’t gotten a proper look at him since she was too distracted by trying to get into her building, but just by one real look at him, he was very attractive—probably too attractive to where she couldn’t think straight. He was wearing a pastel yellow and white striped button down that was a bit flowy and open, showing his white tank underneath that was tucked into his black skinny jeans. His tank top was low enough, exposing a patch of chest hair and his necklace that rested against his skin, in between his swallow tattoos just below his collarbones. Rings hugged his long fingers on both hands as he held two brown paper bags from Trader Joes. He was handsome, that’s for sure, and she felt like she was going to compare his beauty to all the other men that she was going to encounter in the future. 
“They’re not very good at going into work, but if you give them a call then it’s like they’re a 24/7 help center.” 
Luci nodded, chuckling. “Good to know. I’ll keep that in mind.” 
“I’ll help you with the last boxes.” Before she was about to protest and tell him that he didn’t have to help her anymore because she was sure the last ones were light, he made his way towards the elevator and she quickly followed. 
To her surprise, one of the boxes was heavier than the other and she was glad that the man was able to carry it for her. They took the boxes up to her apartment, stacking it on top of the ones that were set down before she thanked him gratefully again. 
“I really appreciate all your help.” She smiled, leaning against the doorframe. 
“Not that I’m doubting your strength or anything, but how were you supposed to get those boxes up to your apartment?” He asked softly, not wanting to offend her by his words. 
“Oh, my brother was supposed to help me, but he had to go back home for an emergency at work.” The man nodded, seeming that was the most acceptable answer, not like he was searching if she was lying. “But thank you for your help. You’re a true lifesaver,” she said with a soft smile on her face. Her tone was a bit flirty than she wanted it to be, but it naturally came out. 
“It’s not a problem. I’ll see you around.” Luci hadn’t closed her door yet, but she found out that he was literally her neighbor on the opposite side of the wall. He didn’t even have to take two steps to get to his place—all he had to do was turn around and he was home. She smiled at the thought of that, glad that her neighbor was already so kind to her. 
As he was fumbling with his keys, he eventually got his door unlocked, and Luci was itching to ask what his name was—maybe make her first friend during her first day living in the big city. The man felt his neighbor's eyes on him, burning through the back of his head, so he turned around at the same time she spoke. 
“Uh, hey,” Luci called out. He was looking over his shoulder, pursing his lips as he raised his brows. “I was wondering if…you’d like to have dinner with me tonight? Y’know, to thank you for all your help and practically saving me while I was stranded.” She chuckled, playing with the tips of her fingers as she looked at him with hope. 
He thought the invitation was nice, but…“It’s okay, really. I, uh, have plans already tonight,” he admitted honestly because he doesn’t make a habit of being dishonest. 
Luci had some thick skin—she grew it throughout the years, and she had always been pretty confident. So many people would think that she could handle rejection well because she’s auditioned for many roles in her lifetime, and had been rejected for most of those roles. But the rejection that her neighbor handed to her so respectfully and politely was one that hit her the most, and she didn't know why. 
Curling her lips into her mouth as she felt the pang of her heart sinking into her chest, she nodded and placed a small smile onto her face. 
“Have fun tonight, then. I’ll see you around.” She grinned, hiding the slight bit of pain that she felt. He nodded, walking inside his apartment as she was in her doorway as well. “Oh, I’m Luci, by the way.” She introduced herself, feeling like she should have done that ten minutes ago, but it had slipped her mind. 
The corner of the man’s mouth turned up into a sly smirk, and she nearly felt herself fall as she gripped the door handle tightly. It was enough to make the pain in her chest disappear, and all thoughts of the rejection that she would think about for the rest of the night vanished. 
“Nice to meet you, Luci. I’m Harry.” 
With that, Harry closed his door, putting a barrier between him and Luci, who was still standing in her doorway. She let out the longest sigh of her life, feeling like she’d been constricting herself from breathing properly for the last ten minutes. 
Luci closed her door and leaned against it, looking down at the boxes that were resting by her feet. She softly smiled, her cheeks were starting to get warm, and she was fully aware that Harry was the cause of it.
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come talk to me about your thoughts and feelings! hope you all enjoyed the first chapter, thank you for reading <3 
ty to @sunflowers-styles​ for beta reading!
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robinrequiems · 3 years
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ok ig cashier damian is my latest hyper fixiation, so let’s add
• Ight so, on fridays, jon cannot come in all the time, very rarely can he. and when he does. he sees a very cute sleepy damian who also wants to punch him:)
• damian is just a mess. he didn’t have time to fix his appearance because as soon as he got out of school, he had to change in a shitty unsanitary grocery store bathroom.
• it was not fucking fun. it never is. damian is so over it. jon normally sees Damian working on homework quickly before putting it away when Jon or other customers show
• damian cannot be asked to look like a normal human being when he just finished 7 sad hours of school in ANOTHER shitty uniform. he hates uniforms
Jon: you look like you’re gonna fall asleep
Damian: ugh, look who it is, the good boy from metropolis who doesn’t look like a creep at all when he comes here just to talk to me. woo hoo!
Jon: nice to see you too
• jon normally sucked on lollipops when he didn’t want to chew on gum, plus sometimes he chews on gum really aggressively and it hurts his jaw
• but let’s talk abt jonny: star athlete ( I’m a simp for athletes jon, please kill me. he’s a basketball player in this though. he got the height for it anyway ), himbo-vibes, and overall sweetheart.
• at least that’s what everyone else thinks. his life is a cycle. A very miserable cycle. It’s honestly tiring and hurts his head and generally takes his mood down
• but then he drove to bludhaven in his new car and brand new license. and he saw him.
• sure he’s seen moody teenagers working at stores before, but this boy; Damian, by his name tag, was different. He SENSED IT
• jon found that he liked different
• damian.. just didn’t easily talk with Jon like so many did at home. he liked a challenge
• and Damian was his challenge
• so he wasted so much gas and time and money to visit him.
• he was so whipped
• he was attracted to him. just the way he did things. like goddamn. ok.
• then his friends and him took a trip there. it was Saturday, they were gonna leave on Sunday. it was for Kathy’s birthday. He had no idea why she wanted to go here.
• oh. yeah. The idiots taken in for underaged drinking. Jon didn’t drink. ( he was a good boy and designated driver ) so he was just there trying to get the officers to let his friends off the hook
Damian: oh look, guess the good boy isn’t really a good boy.
Jon: Damian—? No! I’m here to get my friends out!
Damian: figures, you’re too innocent to do bad things.
Jon: what did you do then?
Damian: well wouldnt my you like to know
Dick: Damian! There you are! Sorry, I was calling up some parents- who is this?
Damian: Good boy.
Dick: ah.
Jon: Jon Kent.. nice to meet you
Dick: wait. As in Clark Kent?
Jon: yeah? that’s my dad
Dick: aw your dad used to babysit me
Damian: can we go now
Dick: hush Damian, I’m feeling nostalgic
• so Damian learned jons name. And jon got to see Damian in regular clothes, so that was cool
• he also got in trouble and couldn’t see Damian for a month because his parents were upset about what happened.. understandable, but jon was still upset
Tai: soo, that was him?:)
Jon: shut up
• tai accidentally found out about cashier boy, it was very funny for tai. not Jon. he teased jon for being whipped.
• sure jon liked damian for his looks at first. then he liked him for him.
Jon: dad, some guy named dick said hi
Clark: jon it isn’t— wait-
Jon: he said you babysat him
Clark: really? You saw him, how did he look? I haven’t seen him since he was a kid!
Jon: um. good?
Clark: where did you see him?
Jon: ..the police place
• his parents put a tracker on jons phone. now they were so confused why their son kept going to Giant Beagle in bludhaven. it was. weird.
• they just- was he meeting someone?? why was he doing this? WAS HE GETTING DRUGS? wait. no. it’s jon. jon couldn’t even stand the smell of cigarettes
Lois: jon.. honey.
Jon: yeah?
Lois: why do you keep driving to bludhaven? I’m worried about you and want to make sure you aren’t doing anything.. bad. Or dangerous.
• granted, it was very dangerous going out there, but he liked it. he liked the thrill of when he got to walk damian back sometimes! HE WAS GETTING CLOSER TO DAMIAN!
• oh also. it turns out damian gave him a fake number
• rude.
• damian always warned him though. and tried to make jon not walk far. jon was.. jon was a good boy. he would never survive in bludhaven frequently, jt worried humored damian.
• sometimes jon came by during the day. Damian’s Sunday shift was in the evening while his Saturday one was in the morning. jon got to go get lunch with him sometimes if Damian felt like there were enough people around that would know if he got kidnapped or not
Damian: why do you bother talking to me? most get bored of me and my attitude.
Jon: I find it charming. you’re fun to talk to. you feel so real. almost everyone in my life feels artificial and like I’m living in a disney Chanel movie.
Damian: *he laughed* oh?
Jon, loving Damians laugh rn: yeah! it’s like they’re.. androids or somethin’.
Damian: why don’t you just find someone snarky from metropolis?
Jon: it wouldn’t be as fun then.
Jon: i like a challenge.
• getting to know damian was like trying to beat the hardest level in his game. it was mind blowing how many times he basically had to restart. Damian was also like a Rubix cube, but jon will get there. He already has 1 side done on it.
Jon: so you live with your brother?
Damian: yes.
Jon: nice
• jon didn’t pry. Damian and dick had became forgotten after bruces death, a lot of the kids did. they just all disappeared from the media like ghosts.
• so jon didn’t know that dick wasn’t his blood relative, or that Damian was Bruce’s child. no one really did
• it wasn’t like it mattered though anyways
Damian: basketball is lame.
Jon: have you ever played?
Damian: yes. it sucked ass
• jon has helped Damian restocked late at night sometimes. Damian doesn’t like him touching things, but the faster he does it, faster he can go home to get his pets, alfred, and his idiot brother
Damian: you waste a lot of gas coming to see me.
Jon: it’s worth it.
• jon had to get a job. boo. he worked on days he didn’t have practice and sadly, on sundays.
• he was a worker at a small cafe, he was just a waiter there
• and then one day, on a Sunday, Damian came in with a few people. WAIT DAMIAN CAME IN
Jon: DAMIAN
Damian, clearly startled: what the fuck, jon!
Jon: why’re you here! how long are you staying! ARE TOU REALLY HERE!
Maya: is this who you were talking about?
Damian: shut up.. but calm down, idiot.
Damian: .. you got a haircut.
Jon: you- you noticed? sorry I couldn’t come this week. was busy this week and needed to catch up on sleep.
Damian:’it’s fine. I guess I really should give you my number now.
Colin: that was smooth
Jon: really?
Damian: mhm. after you seat us, dumbass.
Jon: oh right
• and Damian did give jon his number
• a real one dw
Maps: he was cute.. he single?
Maya: he wouldn’t be single if Damian just manned up
Colin: they practically just stared at each other the whole time when they thought the other wasn’t looking
Damian: wait he was looking at me?
Maya: oh damians so whipped.
• oh how the cashier is falling for the waiter
• sounds like a hallmark film.
• next week jon did end up visiting him in ‘haven, and drove him home.
• damians feet were hurting and he was tired so he didn’t even bother to argue.
• jon couldn’t come to visit his favorite cashier during winters a lot, he may of liked his new “dangerous” life, but he heard how bad the roses could get from Damian
• damian was a bit sad and moody because of that. but shut up. you don’t know anything dick
Dick: you know.. you should invite him inside
Damian: so you can embarrass me? no thank you.
Dick: me? embarrass you? never. but come on, you have never shown interested in anyone before! I wanna meet him!
Damian: you already did. At the police station. you forget or something?
Dick: .. that wasn’t really the best first meeting. come on. please?
Damian: no.
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