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#they cant b by my side which is unfortunate but at least the thought of them comforting me is enough to calm me down a bit.........
richardsphere · 8 days
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Leverage Redemption Log: The Golf Job
Thats Golf with an O not a U. (so its not about BP) its also notably with an F not a D so its not about Hardison returning to learn a lesson on the importance of simplicity in the art of the con either. --- five-hundred and four nails. Thats a large and incredibly specific number of nails (wether hardware or keratin)
Migrant labour, phones and families held hostage. Well our mark at least knows talent when he sees it.
Welcome to America kid, where "upwards mobility" means a sherpa carrying a drunken white man up Mt Everest. --- HURLEY?! I mean i knew you were still around cause Parker mentioned you earlier but to see you is another story.
Breanna is at a coding-camp to get her skills improved. Ok so i know from the TVtropes page of the OG series that there was a korean spin-off, so im assuming that this is a reference to the Korean Spin-off.
But apparently Hurley went from "no longer doing crime" to "I swear im no longer doing crime unless im conned by a hot nun" to "fuck it, if I cant live a life of non-crime i'll at least have someone I trust decide which crimes im doing". --- Golfing trip. Harry loses his ball and stumbles across our Mark. Harry overhears the less-usefull half of the conversation (basically only knows about a "liquidity issue") and witnesses Bao get threatened.
Elliot is at this point so familiar with the whole "busman's holiday" thing that he no longer finds the irony funny anymore.
Ah im starting to realise whats happening. The halloween episode was a "girls night out" and this is the "boys night out" episode. But cause Hardison is only available as a special guest they had to bring in Hurley to avoid working a 2-man crew. Harry's first time having to do an actual B&E himself. Meanwhile elliot is doing his "pretend to be a creepy rich guy oggling the staff who arent paid enough to put up with it" con. (not a fan) Hurley is getting the money by rolling pockets as a server. --- And Harry needs to figure out a password. First two tries fail (both decent guesses) and he knows a third failure will lock him out so he tries Breanna, who is unfortunately unavailable for reasons of coding camp. Oh he's resorted to Social Engineering, taking a leaf out of Sophie's book. Lets see how it plays out for him.
And He's Done It! (Maybe "Imaloser" is a bit on the nose, but it fits the character of "disgruntled IT guy who is sick of these idiots not doing this right")
Something bad enough that Harry's old employers wouldnt be willing to keep it on their servers lest it damage them? Thats bad.
And Harry almost got compromised but quickly pulls the "this is my office" and stealthily distracts her while he removes the pictureframes. He's getting good at this. (but also, he was never bad at it. His first self-made heist was pretty well thought out with exception to the whole "insurance would've covered it" thing.)
little bit more social engineering and he's got access to the paper files (unfortunately he slips and gives himself slightly away, both with his rant on how lawyers are scum and the daughter thing. Yes Saphron has a child but its a baby, not remotely old enough to be someone she'd remind him of) --- Elliot getting confused on the various stupid con-names. (good gag.)
Sophie doing her part of the con in a cameo. (wonder if this is gonna be a repeat of the Girls Night Out Job and next episode lets us see why she's wearnig a moustache in a monastary, but i dont think so)
poor guy's gonna be on hold for hours isnt he... great dart-throw though. Impressive. --- I like Bao's little story about the Golf-club of the Lake. Hurley is trying to reach out but unfortunately, fear is still winning (cause hostages at the nail-salon) --- Harry is taking his understudy on an all-expenses spa-day. Oh she's calling him out earlier then expected (harry is not that good of an actor) but he reaches out and works her on their side.
Greenscreen Parker is rather uncanny valley.
So yeah, he's a human trafficker. --- And we're back to continuity-jokes (thin blue line and that one where he played baseball)
Repeat of Sophie's advice. Ah the magic words... god i hate those. Hurley reverse-engineers the secret to Elliots power: The more Chaos, the better the Elliot.
Little "chaotic Hurley" montage (the keys, thats just low) --- Operation Ultrakaren is a go! And Hurley is going into withdrawal,
Well Harry is definitly undeniably outed to his old company now. (i mean they already suspected, but now Saphron knows)
"shoulda yelled two". a solid 2/2. bows on everything, wrap-up at the theatre.
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youretooclosetome · 2 months
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01/14
i ate today! for once, in the past week, i ate a full lunch. it made me feel sick still, and so did dinner, but for once in this week, i ate. small steps are what counts right?
b told me to block him if i want some space. i dont wanna do that. its not that i still like him, or that i think he cares about me, its that i cant bring myself to cut him out of my life, even if i need it. its just not doable. i wished i could. its such a weird feeling. i keep waking up feeling sick and anxious, like im gonna puke my heart out or my stomach is going to explode from how sick it feels. i still dont know whats causing this. is it him? am i unconsciously still thinking about him? is that why my body keeps doing this to me? as a warning sign, as a way to tell me to stay away from him? its making me more and more tired.
speaking of him, we talked today. again. a lot. at least more than usual. he sent me a picture of his cat! i love that cat. what a cutie. im honestly surprised we talked so much. im honestly wondering what i really am to him. its odd. hes acting odd. hes focused on work and wanting to work, which is insanely off character for him, but hey, if he found his motivation. at least one of us did. i sound like a jackass. "he wants to work which is insanely off character for him". who the fuck says that?? i guess i do. its fine tho. this is like my own private little diary, so i dont have to worry about him finding this. the fact he continues talking to me makes my head spin. not in a good way, in a scared way. maybe he does want us to stay friends but i have this odd feeling thats not all. i dont want him to hurt me again.
b asked me out for valentines. i told him no. tecnically i curved him with a "im going out with my best friend no", which is even worse. i didnt even understand what he meant first, i thought he was talking about the 15th. im such a big fucking dumbass, jesus. unfortunately, i dont intend on going out with him or trying anything beyond friendship with him. hes not... my type. not in a mean way!! just in a, i cant see him become anything besides my friend, way. its mean. i know its mean. but whos kidding? i curved him with that yet im betting with myself, right here and right now, 20 bucks that im inviting HIM out for that day. i know myself. unless im looking at someone else, i know exactly who id go out with on valentines. im such a sad person.
im not as tired as yesterday. i mean, im still tired but i slept a little better tonight. i still cant stare at my own face in the mirror unless i cake on 10 pounds of makeup. im gonna have to do that if i wanna go to class on tuesday. i dont wanna go at all. i dont wanna present and i sure as hell dont wanna see anyone. not even my best friends. i mean, how lame is that on my side? these are the people who are always by my side yet im sitting here saying i dont wanna see them. im a terrible person.
im winning a bid on a paperback copy of my absolute favorite book. im genuinely so excited to get it. i hope i get it. maybe thats the underlying reason of why im staying home tomorrow. just so i can guarantee this book. its stupid, but its my favorite book. i love it. i guess thats a reason for sticking around a little longer, just so i can hold it and read the words with my own two eyes. im weirdly excited for it.
i finished carrie. i liked the book. i didnt expect it to be so explicit and so odd, but its my first stephen king book so... ive heard some pretty insane things from his other books. i wanna watch the movie aswell, just to see how different both are.
<( _ _ )>
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tigerdrop · 2 years
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in lieu of doing more strenuous hand-based activities heres the Dogboy Gordon In Heat Megamix ive been talking about. i wrote this over the course of a couple months in an effort to feel okay about writing horny shit again and i only just realized there are nearly 6 thousand words here. and they only really fuck for like 10% of that
ta-dah
ive thought a lot about gordon being stuck back at gordonhouse after getting kicked out of barneyhouse. i think its ripe for a lot of pining. (and yes, he is pining over the guy hes actively banging. hes being a big mopey idiot over the fact that he doesnt get to have his fuckbuddy around 24/7.) absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever and gordons already at a baseline of "wheres benrey. wheres benrey"......and now i am about to turn it up to 11
so lets say......gordons starting to feel weirdly under the weather. sweaty and irritable and tired. hes holing himself up in his room a lot, wrapping himself up in blankets to fight off a chill and a sniffliness that wont go away. and hes gettin awfully moody, too. real fuckin testy. starting shit with freemind for no reason and snapping at og gordon like hes a teenager. and......hes nesting, almost, or at least, gathering up a whole bunch of blankets and pillows and anything that smells vaguely like benrey. (hes not really aware hes doing this last thing.)
basically, long story short, feetman is fucked up. hes pathetic. hes being a huge bitch. at least og gordon feels vaguely sorry for him, and expresses this by way of observing him and trying to treat it. for science. its better than freemind, who just loudly complains about him being a huge bitch and reeking up the place. theres something weird coming from vr gordons corner of the house.....a musky, heady, hormonal kind of thing that makes freemind act simultaneously territorial and irritable and more lascivious than normal. and that also piques og gordons attention, because having both of them be wound up little freaks at the same time is enough to make even the most resilient person pull their hair out
now gordon primes got his suspicions as to whats going on, but hes not gonna tell vr gordon that he suspects hes going into heat. that would compromise the experiment, and all that. so poor gordons just going thru all this shit not knowing what in the fuck is wrong with him and getting more worked up and irritable about it by the day. hes convinced that hes just got the flu, or something......except, uh, haha, jesus christ he is horny all the FUCKING TIME
he doesnt get it! he feels like shit all the time, so why is he constantly fighting off boners and having weird wet dreams and thinking about-- well. his fucking boyfriend, he guesses. (are they boyfriends?? he doesnt know. he gets a weird, sharp pang when he thinks about them not being boyfriends, at this point, but its not like theyve ever talked about it!) gordons half-convinced that hes just losing his mind from being stuck inside all the time and he really just wants to see benrey again. its, like, all he thinks about. (see? hes losing it. theres the proof.)
the sucks thing for everybody else is that gordon is also Extremely Vocal about how shitty he feels and how much he wishes he didnt feel shitty so he could go see benrey and how much he cant stand benrey for not being able to read his mind and come over when he feels bad. eventually freemind gets so sick of his shit that he decides to cut out the middleman and get benrey involved directly. "come take care of your fucking dog before i call the aspca! animal neglect is a crime, asshole!"
(if pressed, freemind would adamantly reject the idea that hes being nice to gordon. but on some level, hes kinda sympathetic. the guys clearly miserable, and he just keeps asking for the same fucking thing. might as well humor him to shut him up.)
vr gordon is completely unaware of these machinations, however. hes just holed up in his room trying to work out what makes him feel better because, uhh, powerade isnt helping
jacking off doesnt do a whole lot for him anymore. like, it feels good, but its not very satisfying. gordon just ends up feeling more restless than anything afterward. and hes always stupid horny. more blankets. a box fan. less blankets. sleeping with one of benreys shirts pressed up to his face. grinding into his pillow when he wakes up hard from yet another weird dream. theyre all a little helpful, and he feels like hes working towards the right thing, somehow, but its never really enough to take the edge off
and then.....he tries......jerking off more. especially when he realizes that its bizarrely soothing to do so while he can smell benrey up close and personal on that stupid shirt of his. better still when he rolls onto his side.....and then his stomach.......rocking his hips into the mattress until he gets the idea to lift his hips a little. and......oh. cool. something kind of......clicks. in his head. as he raises his hips higher while he keeps his arms wrapped around a pillow and benreys shirt jammed against his nose. hes got that lil moment of realization that this is good, actually. this feels like a good move. and its making some of that discomfort melt away
and gordon thinks about.....how it felt. earlier. when they were with barmey. and benrey had him just like this, ass up, face down, and was spreading him apart and licking him open and making him submit and he groans so fucking hard that embarassment just rips through him like lightning. but his tail starting to wag a little faster.....electricity shooting through his belly......and he cant help but wonder. what if benrey had kept going? pulled back and-- maybe, replaced his tongue with his fingers, one at a time, curling them inside him and telling him how well hes behaving and-- and his dick throbs, hard, and gordon realizes he wants fingers inside of himself right fucking now, thank you, hes not fully certain how to accomplish it be he is going to fucking try
(sigh) so my guy figures out about the old fingers in the ass trick. and i need you to understand that i am fully convinced that this is one of those guys who has an uproarious reaction to getting fingers in his ass. mr repressed and uptight over here doesnt really get what the big deal is until he gets braver and pushes a little deeper and hes rock hard in an instant, goodbye, just like everybodys favorite creative writing exercise
and this is what he decides to do for a solid day or two without leaving his room, because, honestly, this is awesome. and the longer he spends jerking off the less time he spends stressing about the fact that his imaginations getting really vivid, here. sure, like, hes no stranger to weird dreams even before this, but this is the first time hes really letting his mind run wild and this dude is nonstop thinking about being bred and gordon still has no fucking idea that hes in heat. doesnt even occur to him
unfortunately this also does not solve his problems but at least it feels baller and it keeps him occupied. also, unfortunately, the increased rate of jerking off is causing a serious uptick in Dog Smells, the effect of which is turning freemind into a nightmare. its just not good vibes in this house. enter: benrey
now i need you to understand that when these two meet up again i want gordon to get Emotional. think about how genuinely excited he gets to see some of his pals in canon. the like......excitement and disbelief when benrey shows up outside his window throwing rocks at it before noclipping in. he forgets to even act pissed off at first. i think it would be super fucking cute for him to drop the game for a moment just out of shock, basically. his tails waggin, his ears are perked up, and hed probably tackle benrey to the ground if he wasnt also a sweaty, trembling mess whos been holed up in his room for days.
and benrey has No Fucking Idea what he has walked in on here. as far as benrey knows, freemind just demanded he get over there and take care of his dog.
(INTERLUDE: here is the part where i gin up a freemind POV of this exact scene. b/c i am out of my fucking mind
so. i had the thought of a freemind POV chapter where hes spying on gordon and benrey.....because. gordons in heat. ive talked about that scenario before too (literally so many FUCKING times okay i just need this dude to have the uncontrollable urge to be bred like a little bitch! and for benrey to take pity on him and make him feel better by nutting in him literally as many times as is physically possible!!!)
but i wanna manifest it in this specific way: from an outside perspective. voyeurism is great and also i have a one track mind and basically the only time i traffic in Other Guys in this fandom anymore is as a participant in gordon and benreys horse shit. Im not apologizing for this
lets say.....vr gordons behavior has been getting worse and worse for "unknown reasons" and freeman prime just sees it as a key observational opportunity for his research. while freeminds getting really irritated at how much its cutting into his normal way of life. for one thing, vr gordons room reeks, and he cant even escape it in his own room! and its turning him into a feisty, aggressive, and loud son of a bitch. but he cant even resolve it in his usual fashion at this point (baiting vr gordon into another competition/fuckfest) b/c gordons being a little sadsack holed up in his room and doesnt wanna play
but also.....he kinda just feels bad for the guy at a certain point. hes clearly really miserable and looks downright ill and all hes asking for is to see his boytoy again. (gordons convinced that hes dying, and feels the need to dramatically speak to benrey one last time before he croaks.) so freemind decides, in all his benevolence, to go over gordon primes head and drag the guy over there anyway. (with machinations, not his literal bare hands. what is he, a caveman?) he reasons that itll be a good opportunity to twist gordons arm into groveling at his feet later
and he spies on the two of them in gordons room.....why? idk. possibly something to do with investigating this relationship between a gordon and a barney that he had yet to fully analyze. tl;dr he gets trapped in their closet for a remix of that one barmey voyeurism chapter b/c why the fuck not
i just.....i dont know.....i think theres something really charming about a 3rd party not being able to fully make out what theyre saying or doing but piecing things together anyway.....like benreys weirdly soft tone of voice when hes talking to a super agitated gordon. as far as any of them know, hes not really like that. he either sounds bored or smug, but either way, its usually straight-up antagonistic
it would make freemind bristle to hear it b/c its almost a mocking tone, but.....it makes gordons shoulders drop and gets him to let go of some of that tension and thats probably fascinating to watch. literally soothing him like a stressed out dog, huh. smoothing back his hair and murmuring things in a low, even tone that freeminds enhanced hearing still isnt good enough to make out. (the guy mumbles, okay? he needs a fucking toastmasters meetup.)
it would equal parts horrify and fascinate freemind, in my onion. watching a version of himself fall that hard into the loyal pet role.....its pathetic! for all that gordon goes on about not being a slave to his instinct or whatever, he sure is doing a bad job of acting like it! its like watching himself, but worse.
and benreys having to soothe him like a startled animal b/c he doesnt even know whats wrong with himself, but theres something thick enough on the air that even benrey can smell it, and hes taking some stabs at the dark. especially with how charged some of the shit gordons saying is......"i cant fucking take it anymore", "you smell so good", "i dont know whats wrong with me, man, my dick hasnt gone down for days and im pretty sure i need a doctor-- no, a real one, not the other gor-- NOT a vet, JESUS"
and the whole time.....freeminds peeking from behind a closet door. watching them devolve from outright hostility into "gordon climbing into benreys lap and shoving one of benreys hands up his shirt and demanding that he fucking touch him already"
normally i dont think freemind would be averse to a little bit of voyeurism, here. if it was anybody else, hed probably at least engage in a little heavy petting. but this is getting weird, man. he cant shake the uncanny feeling that this is something too intimate for him to be watching. for one thing, gordons whimpering like a goddamn dog just from a little necking, and for two, hes never really been the kind of guy to watch people make out for 15 minutes before they get to the good stuff
its just kind of unsettling how much these two clearly really, really like each other at this point. its not like watching gordon prime give vr gordon a handjob as part of a "test". freemind expected more of a hatefuck kind of deal out of these two, what with how often gordons normally going on about how much he hates the guy, what a pain in the ass benrey is, how he just wishes benrey would stop jerking him around.....etc. freemind could shit himself right now. that lying bitch!
i imagine its also kind of painful, on a personal level, for him to watch this borderline-sappy shit. he cant even fathom being on the receiving end of that behavior, let alone from......well. theyve all got their barneys, right? and gordon primes basically doomed himself to incel status b/c he wont nut up and do anything about it. freemind just assumed they were all in the same boat: cursed to casual sex with their roommates/clones, forever, and unable to achieve any kind of intimacy b/c all 3 gordons are fucked up in the exact same way. since theyre all just diff flavors of the same fucking guy, right?
well, theres the evidence that hes wrong. and that vr gordons better than him, somehow. thats gotta suck, bro
anyway then he watches vr gordon get railed in the ass a bunch and jerks off anyway b/c its still hot. see ya)
“take care of your dog”. huh. hes got no clue what that means but, yknow, he does kinda miss his dog. hasnt seen gordon in awhile. and he immediately comments "wow. you look fucked up" in as blunt and unsympathetic a way as possible. but gordons so far gone that he cant even work up a good anger about it. he is pretty fucked up, man. and benrey sits on the bed and slaps his forehead with a palm to take his temperature (and that gets gordon to bitch at him, finally, that thats not how you do it, asshole) and judges that, uh, he is hot. in his expert opinion
and thats when gordon kinda grabs his sleeve and tugs it and starts tryin to say something. hes really bad at it, because he is having to perform the mortifying task of Owning Up To It, but eventually he manages to grind out that he needs benrey to touch him, please. just pet him. something. he feels really bad and he just needs benrey to scratch his fucking ears. this is the most gordon can cop to in one go, and it is such a sad struggle to watch, but benreys caught off guard by it and he feels weirdly bad for gordon upon hearing it so  hes just like "whoa, okay" when gordon tugs his hand to his head
gordon groans the moment his fingernails start scratching behind the ears and digging into his scalp. even just that much feels really fucking good. its comforting, for one thing, and its benrey, for another, and the physical touch feels so fucking good right now that goosebumps are crawling down his neck. gordon cant help but lean against benrey and bury his head in the crook of his shoulder. he wants to hide his face from scrutiny and he wants to get closer but he doesnt know how to say what his fucking problem is
and benreys weirdly quiet. just kinda mumbling and shushing him intermittently, awkward and not sure what to do b/c this is a level of intimacy he was not expecting but gordons sure is responding nicely to a second hand in his hair
so having both of benreys hands scratching at his scalp is really getting to gordon. hes scritchin behind the ears and gordons tails wagging at a mile a minute. the feelings making goosebumps race down his neck and arms. he starts kind of mumbling something into benreys shoulder, how hes been feeling so fucked up lately, and he squirms a little closer. hes not really aiming for anywhere in particular but every neuron thats firing in him right now is telling him to get closer. make contact. he missed the fucking guy, what can he say.
and one of benreys hands......slips down to gordons face. his jaw. a thumb pushing into that soft little divot between his jaw and neck, like hes trying to push up into gordons fucking teeth. its weird and bizarrely intrusive, but benreys hand is broad and warm and gordon leans into it anyway, groaning with relief. its not like its not doing anything for him. kind of the opposite, actually. then he palms at gordons neck, and gordon starts breathing harder. he can feel his heartbeat rabbit-fast, pushing against benreys skin (and theres no way benrey isnt feeling that, too).
benrey eyes are lidded and his breaths starting to get heavier, too. naturally, yknow, since gordons practically draped over him right now, melting all the more the longer benrey keeps petting him. oxytocin is crazy, man, especially when a guys in the full throes of some kind of chemical meltdown of the glands. gordons eyes are screwed shut, tail thumping furiously against the bed, and hes panting at benreys neck like hes a fucking dog.  he just doesnt know how to articulate what the fuck his problem is
benrey smells insanely good to him right now, and gordon just blurts that out. benrey gives him some shit for it, but when gordon only makes a weird noise in response and fists his hands in benreys hoodie, it makes him shut up real quick. hes squeezing out words about feeling like he needs something, but its clearly a fucking effort. its almost pitiful
so. gordons crawled right into benreys lap, too impatient after days and days of feeling like this (you know, being in heat, in so many words). hes been pounding off like crazy, that brand new collar of his strapped to his neck nearly every time b/c hes that desperate to feel… well. *benrey*. he cant fucking jerk off to thoughts of anything else - porn doesnt do it for him, and his fantasies slip right back to the same thing every single time. its frustrating! hes bisexual, for gods sake! its not like hes normally immune to the wiles of the Phat Ass White Girl, but lately he just keeps ending up on his hands and knees and whining benreys name into his pillow and he couldnt focus on a girls rack if he tried
point being. hes being awfully fucking demanding. (and also, hes wearing the collar *right fucking now)*. he shoves benreys hand up his shirt and shivers the moment he makes contact with gordons burning-hot flesh. and hes demanding that benrey touch him already, jesus, hes losing his mind! and benreys just crooning at him, “bossy, huh,” but hes scritching gordons ears and palming at his side and nosing at gordons neck and gordon starts to feel like hes melting into it. his protests at being talked down to are perfunctory at best
benrey licks a stripe up gordons neck and starts muttering his stupid horseshit right in gordons ear and it makes gordon clutch his shoulders so tight, claws digging into the meat of him. benreys kind of into it, though, and it just makes him laugh, low and harsh and right in gordons ear. that just makes gordons problem worse. he lets out quiet, nasal whines on every exhale, like a literal fucking dog.
he starts teasing, like, “haha, you’re *gagging* for it, bro,” but gordon doesnt respond with the defensiveness he expects. instead, its like opening a floodgate - he is, hes fucking *desperate*, okay, his dick hasnt gone down in days and he wants benrey so bad he cant see straight and he cant stop thinking about him and all of this comes tumbling out of him at once. gordons trying to press himself as close to benrey as he can physically get, legs straddling benreys lap and arms clutched tight around his back. and when benrey prods a little more, tells gordon to say what hes been thinkin about, gordon starts to pant, squeezing his eyes shut. but he cant bring himself to do anything more than choke and stutter on the words
hes half-hard in his underwear already (and, lets be be clear, he was only in boxer briefs and a tank top to begin with. hes sweating buckets and its the least amount of clothing he could get away with wearing around the house) and his tails thumping a mile a minute and hes so far gone, just from benrey talking down to him and kissing his neck and scratching his ears. but hes not budging yet, so benrey slides that hand on his ears over to his ponytail and *yanks*. tells him, “speak.” gordons dick twitches rapidly, and he lets out a sharp sound, and he finally says it: he needs benrey to *fuck* him, jesus
benrey lets out a harsh breath at that. “yeah? thats what puppy wants?” and the nickname should blister him, make him feel to embarrassed to continue, but gordons too desperate to care. he just starts spewing a litany of “god yes”s and “please”s. hes getting harder and harder, pressed up against benreys belly, and benrey can *feel* it. “good boy,” he mutters, and those claws dig harder, that panting gets louder and harsher
he slips a hand around to gordons back, rubbing slowly for a moment as if to soothe him, and then slides it under the back of gordons boxers. and lower still. starts rubbing at gordons hole. that gets a quiet “oh god” out of gordon.
gordon cant help himself - he rocks forward against benrey, just a little, rubbing his bulge against what he realizes is benreys *extremely* hard dick in his sweatpants. hes not the only one whos got it bad. but he *is* the only one whispering, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” as benrey pushes a little further, makes as if hes about to breach gordon dry. the poor guys so needy that he probably wouldnt even argue!
but benrey just stares at him, wide eyed and flushed, mouth hanging open a little. gordons so hot for this that it surprises the both of them.
anyway after some boring position finagling benrey coaxes gordon onto his hands and knees, running a broad hand down gordons shaking back. and he pulls back gordons tail, exposing him. its so fucking humiliating - gordons got his face buried in a pillow, and his ass in the air, and hes never felt so *vulnerable* before. he wants to argue, he wants to lift his head and look back to make sure that everythings, like, okay back there - benreys staring at his entire asshole, okay, and he wasnt exactly anticipating benrey making a house call to fuck him in the ass - but every time he lifts his head, or starts to say something neurotic about it, benrey chides him about it. clicks his tongue. tells him, “hey. dogs dont talk” or “i said *bow*, bro”.
for all his insisting that hes a real guy, that hes not just a dog, gordons feeling less and less like a human and more like something in thrall to his instincts. the condescension rankles like it always does, but doing what benrey tells him to feels good. feels natural. presenting himself like this feels like what hes *supposed* to do. it doesnt stop him from running his mouth entirely, but it helps to mitigate some of the embarrassment.
and then… benrey *licks*. gordon tenses and gasps. he doesnt know how benrey can stand it, its gotta be, like, unhygienic! but that didnt scare him off the last time they tried this, and its not like gordon hasnt thought about it since. hes thought about it a lot, actually. but hes been too neurotic to ask for it. benreys not stupid, though. hes a good dog owner (at least, so he thinks) and hes gonna take care of his dog. so he licks again, and again, pressing a little harder against gordons hole on each pass with the broad side of his tongue until he dares to breach it with the tip.
gordons rock hard again in an instant. his dick hangs between his legs and drips onto the sheets. he digs his fingers into the pillow now, tearing holes in its surface with those sharp nails of his, and he makes embarrassingly high noises that he muffles into into the pillow, too. hes tense, hes so fucking tense, he should be clamping down and making benreys task really fucking hard, but theres bright pink sweet voice dripping from his hole and benreys rubbing the side of his thigh in an effort to soothe him and both of these things work in tandem to get him to relax. and benrey works his tongue in further, further than a human ought to.
the tip was one thing, but it gets wider as benrey pushes it in, and its just as good as it was before - better, even, because now its just the two of them, just a master and his dog, and benreys the only one he wants to see him like this. bent over and whimpering. he cant— he cant stomach the thought of anybody else doing this to him. hell, there was a point once where the idea of stomaching *benrey* doing this to him would have made him laugh. but here he is. benreys fucking him open with his tongue and pressing against something thats making him see stars and gordon just wants *more*. he says it so sweet, too, voice growing hoarse and raw as he begs benrey to just fucking do it already, he doesnt wanna come like this!
gordon gets so worked up and emotional about it that benrey takes the time to scratch behind his ears again, shushing him and telling him to chill. benreys got him. hes been a good dog, and good dogs get treats. hearing the words “good dog” makes gordons entire body flush. thats all he wants, really. he wants to be a good dog. he wants to be *told*. he blurts out, “oh my god— say it again,” and benreys like, “huh? say what? youre gonna have to be more specific,” clicking the last syllable. it makes all the hairs on gordons head rise and prickle with shame. the best he can do is mumble it into his pillow.
benrey hears it, though, and tugs at gordons collar from behind, just enough to raise his head. “whassat? you want me to call you a good boy?” gordon cant bring himself to answer that directly, but his stupid body betrays him by making him whine. jesus christ, yes, thats all he WANTS! he needs benrey to be good and nice to him for once in his fucking life and give him what he wants instead of taking, taking, taking! but benrey just tells him that hes gonna have to earn it. gonna have to be *real* good for him. gordon could fucking snarl at that, but benreys pulling back to rub his dick between gordons cheeks and against his hole and that shuts him up pretty fast because hes *so close* to getting what he wants and hes not about to fuck it up now by running his big dumb mouth
and then… he starts to push in. that sweet voice has loosened gordon up enough to take even benrey, who, uh, is definitely the bigger of the two, in that regard. he goes slow, uncharacteristically so, and gordons chest heaves with the force of how hard hes breathing. a quiet string of “oh god”s spills out of him as he tries to crane his neck back to watch. the head breaches him with a strange popping sensation, and benrey groans, loud, as the rest of him slides in with little resistance in comparison. “good,” he pants in turn, “youre takin it so good,” and—
and gordon comes, in weak, aborted spurts. it snuck up on him. he clenches so fucking tightly that it winds benrey a little. he breathes out, “whoa. did you—” but gordon just begs him to shut up, keep going, hes not— hes not done yet, its always like this, its not *enough*. his dick barely even flags afterward, it just hangs there, achingly hard and dripping with cum. benrey cant even find it in himself to make fun of him. he wants it so fucking bad, doesnt he? and he feels so good, so fucking tight and slick around benrey that the only thought running through his head is “gotta take care of my dog gotta fuck my best friend gotta nut in him and make him howl”. so he pushes himself alllll the way in until theyre pressed together, skin to skin.
then he starts to move. slow, careful thrusts, more for benreys benefit than gordons. if hes not careful, hes gonna blow his load, right then and there, and hes trying to make it good for gordon, too, okay? unlike *some* of them, hes not gonna bust in two minutes and then spend the next half hour crying and trauma-dumping to the guy hes still got his dick inside of.
once he thinks hes got a grip, though, benrey starts fucking him in earnest, and that changes gordons vocalizations from weak little whimpers into something louder. less restrained. hes given up any pretense of being quiet so that his other selves dont hear that hes snuck his boytoy into his room. just loud, wordless moans on each thrust, initially muffled into the pillow but soon spilling into the wider room when he turns his head to catch his breath. the only words hes managing are “oh god” and “please” and “benrey, benrey, *benrey*”, and benrey just responds to him like, “yeah? thats good? fuuuck, bro, so good for me,” all short of breath and barely able to speak himself
he wants to see gordons face. he *needs* to see gordons face. needs to see what hes doing to him, needs to see that cute fuckin blush of his. so he tugs on gordons collar again, bringing him to his hands and knees properly instead of that bowing position. and then further still - pulls him back so that benreys on his knees, and gordons on his knees in turn, on his lap, cock still buried inside of him and fucking him in short, hurried thrusts. “paws up,” benrey tells him, and gordon does it. instantly. no resistance. just folds them at his chest like a real dog would.
“whos a good boy?” benrey croons, right in his ear again. gordon gasps, “i-i am!”
“yeah? youre a good boy?” nod, wail. “whose— whose good boy are you?”
and gordon chokes on his response. he cant say it, he *cant*, he doesnt want to be benreys but he does, he *does*. he doesnt want to be benreys because its not fucking fair! he cares so fucking much! so much more than benrey does, it feels like, obsessing over the guy like hes wrapped thorny vines all around gordons heart and he cant so much as shift in his seat without feeling the tug and the ache and thinking of benrey again. and benrey doesnt care, he never fucking cares, except—
except he showed up at gordons house, in his room. without even being asked. like he knew something was wrong. and he— hes always talking to gordon, shooting him stupid texts just to make him laugh. scheduling *date nights* for them. date nights where, yeah, maybe they couldnt see each other in person, and maybe they always end in some kind of depraved sexual act, but its not like gordons not into it. hes frighteningly into it, actually. and hes *so* into hearing benreys voice, low and crooning, right in his ear, and seeing him lean on an elbow and smile at him afterward. its— its practically genuine. and benreys always making excuses to talk with him, do things with him, watch stupid fucking movies that only gordon cares about and stream with him on twitch to help boost his subscriber count and—
and—
oh god. maybe he *does* care. that might be more terrifying than the alternative.
then benrey yanks the collar again. presses the whole of gordons back against his front in one hot, unbroken line. and asks, “i said, whose good boy are you, bro? *speak.*”
“benrey,” he blurts out, a ragged moan, “d-dont make me sa-AY it, oh god—”
“no?” benrey stills suddenly. his hands keep gordon stuck in place, unable to move or bounce or feel benrey shift inside of him. “thats, uh… thats too bad, friend. this trains for good boys only. good dogs go to heaven 2. no bad dogs allowed. gonna have to, uhh, escort you off—”
“im not a bad dog!”
“i dunno, gordo. bein’ kind of, uh… disobedient.”
(sorry. thats all i got . byeeee)
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definitely love [five hargreeves x reader]
request:  Could you do a Five x reader fic where the reader is kidnapped by the Handler and Five comes to save them. Thx
a/n: it’s kinda short, but i feel like it’s pretty sweet, i guess??? the only warning is some curse words here and there cause i cant help myself and maybe the handler being like a huge y/n x five shipper lmao
perhaps therell be a part 2???
summary: when the handler kidnaps you, don’t you dare think five wouldn’t come to your rescue as soon as possible.
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“Listen, lady!” You yelled, rolling your eyes at your former boss, “I have no idea where that dipshit is, alright?!”
The Handler raised a brow at your seventh burst this hour, taking a long drag out of her cigarette, before puffing out the smoke with a laugh, “I’m sorry- I can’t take your seriously when your boobs haven’t even kicked in yet.”
“Oh, you did not go there.” You squinted your eyes at her, trying to launch forward, but to no avail, as the Handler kept on laughing at your attempts of attacking her.
You only laid back in your seat, feeling the ropes around you squeeze you into place. You had been tied to that chair for the past three hours, although no real torture had been inflicted upon you- other than having to listen to the Handler talk for three hours.
Even when you worked for her in the Commission you didn’t like her much. She was too extra, too much work for you, in spite of her gorgeous sense of fashion. All you wanted to do was retire as soon as possible, but when Five Hargreeves got a job there, your world was turned upside down and before you knew it, you were a teenager again, in 2019, trying to stop the apocalypse with his other siblings.
Except that you failed, and you ended up in 1963... with another apocalypse on its way... because somehow you brought it with you.
“What do you even want with him?” You asked, as she stopped laughing to drag another long puff out of her lit cigar.
“Let’s just say I have a deal.” She smirked, turning to you, “And I need to make sure you two will hear me out.”
“Is that why you kidnapped me and brought me here?” You raised a brow, looking around the abandoned warehouse, “That’s cliche.”
“What’ll be cliche is if he finally admits to having feelings for you when he comes to your rescue.” The Handler scoffed, making you raise a brow at her, “Oh, please- we all had bets going on in the Commission on the two of you.”
“Wonderful...” You dryly said, shaking your head in disbelief.
However, somewhere deep within you, you hoped that what the Handler said would become true. You met Five on his first day working for the Commission and you quickly warmed up to each other since you had basically the same personalities, but you, yourself, were having a hard time understanding your feelings. 
You found that sarcastic piece of shit adorable and charming, but you were not gonna admit it to his face- you didn’t need him to get even cockier. He may or may not have shown in the past two weeks signs that he shared your feelings, but you decided not to put that much thought into it, since saving the world was the number on priority on your list.
“Hey!” Five’s voice suddenly rang through the room, as he stumbled in, holding Lila by the arm.
“Lila?” You wondered, confused by the presence of Diego’s crazy girlfriend which he picked up from a... well, crazy house.
“Well done.” The Handler smirked, placing her hands in the pockets of her coat.
“What is Lila doing here?” You frowned, watching as Five threw her on the floor, glaring at the Handler, “Five!”
“You were right to think she is familiar.” Five told you, placing his foot on Lila’s neck, “She is one of them.”
You perked your brows upon hearing the news, looking at the girl on the floor. She helped Diego escape the mental asylum and she’s been on his side ever since, but when you first laid eyes on her, you couldn’t help but get a familiar vibe off her.
Until you realized...
“That’s your kid?” You turned to the Handler, “The girl you adopted?”
You had heard years ago that during a task, somehow the Handler returned with a little girl, but you didn’t put that much thought into it, even if it was a bit strange. Five had a job in London and the Handler accompanied him, but you figured she just wanted to get some- come on, she is really creepy and kinda flirty!
“What?” Five raised a brow, looking at the girl beneath his foot.
“No matter.” The Handler said, stepping towards you, “Here we are... together again.”
“Yeah, it’s a real party.” You sarcastically said, “Ow!” You immediately yelped, as the Handler pulled on your rope, making you jerk back against the chair back, causing Five to tense up.
“I’ve gotta ask.” The Handler said, not once letting go of the rope, making sure the grip on you would be tightened, causing Lila to laugh, even if her throat was being stepped on, “Did you miss me, you little shit? Or did you miss your little girlfriend more?”
“I’ve been gone for only three hours.” You chimed in, making Five shake his head in disbelief, “Besides... nobody ever misses you, really.”
Five decided to put on the same tough guy act, not wanting to reveal his concern, because truth be told- when you didn’t show up at the family meeting that morning, he began feeling stressed. It was not like you not to show up, especially since his brothers and sisters treated you like their own, so that made him tense. 
But, when Lila showed outside the store with a smirk on her lips, he knew immediately she had something to do with it.
Because, truth be told, you were not expecting to let yourself get kidnapped by the Handler. Yeah, she was a great assassin, but you had been holding the title of the best agent in the Commission for the past seven years. That was, before betraying it to help Five save the world and his family.
“Ah, this one.” The Handler smiled sarcastically, letting go of you in order to push you forward.
“Woah!” You yelped, almost losing balance off the chair if Five hadn’t caught you. 
Lila quickly got up coughing before Five could return, but he couldn’t care less. At least you seemed to be fine, no cuts or bruises- the Handler did nothing to you, she was just toying with him to ensure he’d come here to hear out her proposition.
“Now that we’ve made the exchange...” The Handler said, as Five started untying your ropes, “Lila, darling, would you give us a minute, please?”
“Go play with your toys or something...” You taunted the girl, getting up from the seat after three, long hours, rubbing your sore wrists.
“Yes, the grown-ups need to talk.” Five backed you up with a smirk, as Lila only rolled her eyes, walking away from the three of you, knocking something off a table angrily.
“Very mature.” You raised a brow, “I can see how she and Diego made quite the couple.”
“Don’t make me vomit, Y/N.” The Handler scoffed, before changing the subject nonchalantly, “So... do you two lovebirds like jazz?”
After an interesting discussion with the Handler, you and Five walked out of the warehouse in silence, contemplating your decision. She made you two a tough deal, which needed some time to be thought upon, but, unfortunately neither of you had that kind of luxury.
“You know, if we do take the deal...” You spoke up, turning to Five, causing him to stop in his tracks beside you curiously, “It’d be like... one last job together.”
You and Five had been on jobs together before, but you never officially called yourselves partners, even if your success rate was off the charts. You had a great teamwork, so you were not that surprised when the Handler chose you two for a job of this level and risk.
“I don’t even want to think about that just yet...” Five sighed, covering his face tiredly, “We still have another option.”
Your heart ached at the sight- watching Five rub his small face tiredly, all stressed out and overall exhausted, you truly felt bad. You tried helping him, after all that is why you followed him through time, but this was beyond you, and him. 
You knew how much Five loved his siblings, in spite of his attitude towards them. Everything he has done so far it was for him... and you.
You had no idea, but to Five it was surreal. He accepted the fact that he loved his brothers and sisters, but it took him a lot longer to accept that he was actually in love with you. However, it did make sense- you always made him feel better, ever since you guys met. He wasn’t sure if it was love at first sight, but right now, in this moment, he knew it was definitely love.
“But...” Five spoke up, putting on a weak smile, as he placed his hands in his pockets, “At least you are safe now.”
Hearing those words come out of his mouth, your knees felt like they were about to fail you. As Five looked into your eyes, you knew he was sincere, so you couldn’t help the heat rushing to your cheeks.
“All thanks to you.” You quickly smirked, trying to brush off the nervousness, “I mean... she could have picked any one of your siblings to provoke you, but I had the pleasure of spending three dreadful hours with her.” You sighed, folding your arms over your chest, “So, thank you for coming to my rescue.”
“Thank you for playing the damsel in distress.” Five teased you, playfully flicking your forehead as he picked up the pace, “If things don’t work out with dad, now we have a plan B.”
“Hey, don’t let it get to your head!” You quickly yelled, rushing to catch up to him, “I still am a trained assassin!”
“And how exactly did the Handler get her hands on you, then?” Five asked, brushing off the way you absentmindedly locked your arm with his in an attempt to slow him down.
“I was baking cookies.” You slightly shrugged with an innocent smile, “And Frank Sinatra came on the radio, so of course I blasted it through the kitchen.”
“How do you survive?” Five wondered, looking down at you with a small smile on his face, watching as your lips turned to a playful pout.
Yeah... it was definitely love he felt for you.
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skeezsbbygirl · 4 years
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heather + hwang hyunjin
hello lovelies! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ ✧゚・: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)
this is for anon who requested a scenario based on conan gray’s heather, and i decided to add a little twist to it (because im a big baby and i cant take the angst TT) hope you enjoy! <3
STREAM GOD’S MENU AND EASY.
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You faltered as you tried to match Hyunjin's pace, your high heels making the task even more impossible aside from Hyunjin's long strides. "Fuck it," you huffed and stopped mid stride, leaning down to remove the straps of your shoes, finally sliding them off one after the other.
Hyunjin took notice of your absence and quickly looked back to where you were, your heels hanging from your hands as you were sauntering towards him barefoot. "What made you think that wearing heels is a good idea?" he questioned as he walked back to meet you halfway, turning his back to you and squatting down. "Get on my back," he offered.
"I wanted to impress you, maybe even get you to like me or look at me as something more than a friend," you mentally answered him. However, you couldn't risk to lose him, at least not over some one-sided feelings you've been sheltering within your heart for the past few months.
"You're going to regret this," you playfully taunted as you snaked your arms around Hyunjin's neck. He hooked his arm around your calves, asking you if you were comfortable before carefully standing up, bouncing you up a bit to slightly rearrange your hold on him. "Come on, (y/n). I do this for you all the time," Hyunjin joked.
"You had the time of your life at that party, huh?" Hyunjin spoke after a moment of silence. You let out a heavy sigh. "I wanted to forget someone for a moment," you replied softly, afraid that he would catch on the hurt laced within your tone. "Who?" he asked.
"You."
You've been friends with Hyunjin since diapers, basically you shared more than half of your memories and life experiences with him, even some of your firsts, which unfortunately included having your first love. Yeah, you'd date someone here and there, thinking that maybe venturing out into other men would help you get over your feelings for him, there was no harm in trying, right?
But boy were you wrong.
Instead of forgetting your crush on the said boy, it remained, worse, it got stronger. No matter how many times you tried to erase your fantasies of Hyunjin, your heart and mind were stubborn -- fixated on the thought of making your love life suffer for life because you couldn't see any other way around it.
You thought of confessing, but that didn't work out for you. Not that Hyunjin rejected you or anything, but you didn't even get the chance to pour your feelings out for the male because he introduced you to her that day.
Min Yeji, his heather.
"Hello? Earth to (y/n)?" Jeongin waved his hand in-front of your face, snapping you out of your thoughts. "What got you spacing out?" he asked, throwing an arm around your shoulder and rubbing them in a soothing manner. "I'm confessing today, Jeongin," you exhaled in an attempt to calm your nerves, "I'd rather tell him now than never."
"Listen, if hyung fails to see the beautiful person that you are inside and out, then to hell with him," Jeongin reassured. "I'll personally ask Chan-hyung to teach him a lesson if he chooses her over you," he added.
You gave him a small smile. "Thank you, Jeongin," you said.
You knew it was wrong, selfish even, for having him choose between you and her and for having to confess at such an ungodly timing. You wasted all those years trying to find him in someone else when you could've just spoken your truth. Now, you were left with fighting for a spot to stay. But you wanted to tell him everything before it's too late, before you fade away from his memories, before you get replaced.
And with that, you gave Hyunjin a call. He picked up after the second ring, greeting you and telling you that he was just about to call you as he had something that he really wanted to tell you in person too. So, you guys made plans to meet up in the afternoon at the coffee shop that the both of you frequented during the weekends.
You nervously fiddled with your fingers, growing more and more impatient as the seconds tick by, feeling as if you were about to burst any second now.
"(Y/n)!"
You perked up when you heard his voice, but your smile fell as he approached you.
Hyunjin had his arm around her waist, sporting the biggest smile, one that you've never seen on him. The sight of this Hyunjin was breathtaking, almost unrecognizable as his eyes molded into crescents and his lips curved into the most charming smile. Guess that was reserved for her, huh?
You swallowed the lump in your throat as tears threatened to spill from your eyes, but you held them in and managed to plaster a fake smile on your face, like those countless times when you needed to be strong, especially when you needed -- no, when you should be happy for Hyunjin.
"Hey," you spoke as you got up from your seat, clearing your throat seconds later as you internally cringed at how weak you sounded.
"Yeji," he turned to look at her, "Meet (y/n), my best friend," he continued as he turned his gaze towards you.
That was your first time meeting her in person, but not the first time you've heard about her. Hyunjin made it known, three weeks ago to be exact, that he had been eyeing a certain someone. You still remember that night. Hyunjin was sprawled out on your bed with his head on your stomach as you lazily threaded your fingers through his golden locks. He rambled endlessly, gushing over everything about her.
Yeji leaned in for a quick hug and you returned her sweet gesture. "It's so nice to finally meet you," she beamed. "Nice to meet you too," you replied, wanting to reciprocate the excitement in her tone but you failed. "Take a seat," you invited.
You were so set on hating her and despising her throughout that afternoon, but something in you couldn't. You now saw why Hyunjin fell for her. Yeji had kind eyes, a sweet smile, a lovely personality, and so much more of what you weren't. You wanted her to be mean, maybe to even throw a glass of water at you while Hyunjin excused himself to the bathroom, only to come back and see you soaked in water. He would defend you and leave her, then it would end with him confessing his love for you, admitting that he was so blind to see it before, but now he's changed his mind. You know, just like those dramas that you spent hours watching with Hyunjin.
As Hyunjin busied himself with Yeji, you were mostly by yourself, except those times wherein Jisung would suddenly barge into your apartment and plop himself down on your couch and insist on watching dramas with you. Although you appreciate Jisung's presence, it simply wasn't the same without Hyunjin. You were so used to him -- his presence, his smell, his laugh, and his dramatic antics. It was like you had to start over again, but this time, you were alone.
Reality hit you harder as time passed by.
"--so yeah, I'm basically waiting for Chan-hyung's approval-" Hyunjin's rant was cut off as soon as he spotted Yeji a few feet away, quickly getting up from his seat to help her with her books and bag. "Hey, (y/n)," she smiled, giving you a quick hug like always. "How was class?" you asked her, trying to make small talk as the couple settled down across from where you sat. It was only then that you noticed the sweater that she was wearing. You immediately figured that it was Hyunjin's, judging from the way it drowned her petite figure and Hyunjin might have offered you the same sweater a few winters back.
You felt a pang in your chest.
"It sucks, as usual," Yeji replied as she let out a defeated sigh. "I totally feel for you," you chuckled.
"I can do your essays for you," Hyunjin cooed at Yeji, leaning in to press a chaste kiss on her cheek. You were quick to divert your gaze to your phone, not wanting to witness the affection that Hyunjin displayed. "That's so sweet of you, Jinnie, but you have your own classes too," Yeji responded as she playfully pinched Hyunjin's cheek.
You cleared your throat as you got ready to leave because a) you didn't want to third wheel, especially when you had feelings for the said partner, and b) clearly, your presence wasn't needed. "Hey, uhm, something came up with Jisung and it looks like he needs my help," you lied. "Oh, alright. We'll see you later, (y/n)," Yeji waved and you returned her gesture. "Call me if you need anything," Hyunjin stated and you nodded.
You fought back the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes as you walked back towards your apartment. Upon your arrival, you drowned yourself with school work, not only did it distract you from your current situation, but it also aided in clearing your weekend so you could squeeze in more hours of much needed sleep.
For the next few days, you decided to distance yourself from Hyunjin. It hurts, but you needed to save yourself from further heartbreak. You no longer hung out with him, you started texting him less, and then eventually, you avoided any sort of contact with him.
"Have you seen (y/n) lately?" Hyunjin nudged Seungmin, who was currently immersed in the movie that was playing on his laptop. "Yeah, I just saw her this morning, why?" the younger lad answered. Hyunjin's suspicions were confirmed, you were indeed ignoring him. But no matter how much Hyunjin thought about your new found behavior, he couldn't rack his brain for an answer. Was it something he said or did?
He came up with nothing for the past hour or so, and that's what led him to give up and just call you. "Pick up, (y/n)," Hyunjin mumbled as he paced back and forth in his bedroom, groaning when you failed to answer his call.
This continued on for days.
"Hyunjin."
"Babe," Yeji called for the blond-haired boy's attention for the second time. "Huh?" Hyunjin snapped out from his thoughts, "Sorry, I was distracted for a second."
"It's (y/n), isn't it?" she asked. "Well, yeah. It's just that I haven't heard or seen her lately," Hyunjin answered as he lowered his gaze, thinking that his response would settle wrongly with his girlfriend. He shouldn't be worrying about another girl, especially within Yeji's presence. Hyunjin expected her to lash out, but to his surprise, Yeji gave him a small smile -- it wasn't exactly out of understanding his concerns, but more of getting tired hearing his concerns. She placed her hands on top of his, "I understand, she's your friend after all. But, you do know that my patience has a limit, right?"
"I'm sorry, love. Forget about it," Hyunjin waved his hands, a motion to discard his previous statements. "Chan-hyung is hosting a party this weekend and I want you to come with me," he invited, "The boys really want to meet you."
Yeji shook her head which earned her a puzzled look from the male. "Come on, it'll be fun," Hyunjin prompted.
"Jin, I'm not blind," Yeji snapped. Her response caught Hyunjin off guard for a second. "Look, baby, if this is about-"
"I see the way she looks at you, the way she acts around you, and the way she avoids my advances. I don't blame her, though. If I were in her shoes, I would've cut the bitch already," Yeji exclaimed as a defeated smile made its way on her lips. "But instead, she's trying to be so strong and you're so stupid to not see this. Hyunjin, you've been friends with her for years, you should know her better than anyone else, maybe even better than she knows herself," she continued, frustration evident in her tone.
"Go to her, she needs you," Yeji exhaled.
[Present..]
"Hyunjin, you can put me down now," you said as the both of you neared his parked car and the said male complied to your request, letting you land carefully on the ground.
"What do you mean by wanting to forget about me for a moment?" Hyunjin questioned, his eyebrows contorted in confusion as he faced you. "I just want to forget you, get you off my mind, even for a second," you breathed out, the amount of shots that you took at the party giving you enough courage to pursue this line of conversation with Hyunjin. You already lost him and yourself, so you have nothing else to lose at this point.
"(Y/n), what are you talking about?" Hyunjin chuckled lightly, "Come on, bub. You're my best friend," he added.
And that was your breaking point.
"Well, I don't want to be your best friend anymore, Hyunjin!" you exclaimed. "I'm tired of being second best," you sobbed as you finally allowed your tears to fall. Hyunjin's smile immediately fell and his eyes widened at your sudden breakdown, you looked so hurt, betrayed -- you looked broken.
"Second best?"
"Yeah, just like how I was tonight, right?" you snapped as you flashed him a sarcastic smile. "Since Yeji couldn't make it tonight, you were left with the me," you retorted.
Hyunjin didn't respond because honestly, he didn't know how to.
"I tried, Hyunjin," you paused, "Believe me, I tried to get over you but I can't. I'm so in love with you. I tried to blame Yeji for all of this but how can I when she's been nothing but nice to me, she treats me like a sister."
"I wish I didn't wait that long, I wish I told you sooner," you continued.
"I'm sorry," Hyujin whispered. You shook your head as held your hand up to signal him to stop. "Don't apologize so that I can hate you."
You turned away from him, not wanting his eyes on you any longer. "I need to let you go, Hyunjin," you sniffed through your tears. You started walking away, still barefoot, but you didn't even bother at this point. Hyunjin's hand caught your wrist, "I'm not leaving you, at least not like this. Let me make this right, (y/n)."
"No, Hyunjin, please," you breathed out as you tried to free your wrist from Hyunjin's grasp. "I told you I'm not leaving you," Hyunjin argued, tugging you towards him and catching you in his embrace. He wrapped his arms around you, tightening his hold on you when you tried to push him off. "Shh, bub. It's okay, I'm not going anywhere," he spoke in a hushed tone and you hated the way it soothed you, causing you to lose your strength as you eventually gave into his touch.
Hyunjin gently stroked your hair as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear. He waited until your breathing evened out and soon later, he led you back to his car. "I'm driving you home, then we'll talk," he said.
The drive to your apartment was dead silent. A million thoughts raced through your mind as you looked out from the car's window. Now that you've sobered up, you felt stupid for acting out. Did you honestly think that throwing a tantrum would make Hyunjin dump Yeji? No, you didn't think so.
"Why didn't you tell me anything?" Hyunjin asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He sat next to you as he handed you a glass of water. "I never had the chance. I was supposed to tell you that afternoon when you introduced me to Yeji," you confessed, taking the glass of water he handed you. "Did it ever cross your mind that it was unfair for me too?" Hyunjin suggested.
"I'm not making you choose, Hyunjin," you sighed. "I know you love her, I don't want to rob you of your own happiness. That's why I'm the one who's walking away," you added as you sipped on the drink, setting it down on the coffee table and placing your hands back on your lap.
The blonde-haired male shook his head in disagreement as he moved down to kneel in-front of you, his hands tentatively coming up to lay on your knees. "Can I at least have a say in this?" he asked. You bit your lip and gestured for him to continue.
"You're right, I do love Yeji," he paused, taking a moment to form the right words. "But, I love you more, (y/n). I don't want you in pain because of me and it's killing me right now to see you like this," he added as a tear escaped his eye, recalling the state you were in a couple of hours ago, but he was quick to wipe them away. "You could've slapped me that day, called me an asshole, or something," he said, "I'll choose you over anybody, any day. I'm sorry it took so long for me to realize."
You were left speechless, uncertain of what your response should be, so you opted to stay silent.
"Yeji actually knew this was coming, maybe not right away, but at some point. I didn't believe her when she told me you had feelings for me. She told me she felt it the moment she met you in person," he explained, "So, we thought it would be the best to part ways and that's why she didn't come with tonight."
"I'm sorry," you muttered, keeping your eyes on your lap, finding a sudden interest towards the hem of your dress as you fiddled with it. "No, baby, don't be," Hyunjin replied, tucking a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. "I guess what they say is true, huh? You never appreciate what you have until you lose it," he admitted.
Finally, you mustered the courage to meet his gaze. "You'll always have me," you said. "Good, 'cause you'll always have me too," Hyunjin gave you a small smile. You pulled him up from his position, guiding him to sit beside you. Once Hyunjin was seated, you wrapped your arms around him, burying your face into his dress shirt. His scent quickly filled your senses, making you feel at home and protected, a feeling you hadn't had in a while.
"Let me make this right, yeah?" Hyunjin spoke as he held you close, one hand patting your head gently and the other rubbing the small of your back. "Yeah, okay," you agreed.
"She may be Heather, but you're (y/n), my (y/n)."
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Flesh & Blood | Part Two
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Series Summary: A mysterious stranger with ties to your past shows up in your small village
Chapter Summary: a quiet village, every day like the one before... until a mysterious stranger arrives
Pairing: Count Dracula x reader
Word Count: 2126
Warnings: none
A/N: as always spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :) if you want to be added to the taglist please drop me a message in my ask box
Y/B/D = your birth date, Y/H/T = your home town 
Masterlist | Part One
- - - - -
2020
The shrill beeping of your alarm wakes you up with a jump. You groan and roll over, picking up your phone from the bedside table and hitting the snooze button before dropping it back down. You allow yourself to stay in bed for the next 5 minutes, but its not long before the alarm is reminding you it’s time to get up and start the day. 
An hour later you're ready and leaving for work. You close the front door of the cottage you live in and head down the hill toward the village high street, taking in the views of the sea as you walk. You’ve lived in this village for as long as you can remember, but the view still makes you smile. 
The high street is one main road that runs through the small village and is lined with shops either side. As you walk down the street you greet various other villagers opening up their shops for the day. You hold your breath as you pass the butchers so you cant smell the scent of the uncooked meat hanging in the window. Then you pass the florist and take a deep breath, floral scents flooding your senses. You stop when you reach the local clothes shop and see the owner cleaning up shattered glass.
“Morning Roger” you say and he turns to look at you with sad eyes “what happened?”
“oh someone broke in last night. Smashed the window and stole the suit straight off the mannequin” he points to the naked mannequin left standing in the broken window display.
“did they take anything else?” 
“Nothing. Not even a penny from the till. Just the one suit, thats it.”
“that’s weird. At least theres not too much damage though”
“I guess I should count myself lucky that it could have been much worse. Have a good day y/n” he says with a tired smile as he takes the bucket of broken glass inside the shop.
You pass a few more shops before you reach the door of the bakery cafe and swing the door open, the familiar scent of fresh baked bread and cakes fills the air.
“Morning Maggie” you call as you drop your bag behind the counter and head into the kitchen at the back.
“morning love” She responds, looking at you over the top of her flour covered glasses as she kneads dough on the counter. Maggie is an older lady, with a friendly wrinkled covered face and greying curly hair which was currently contained in a hairnet. She had always been like a grandmother to you, and since losing your parents she was the only family you had left. Apart from being a bit of a gossip, she was a really lovely lady and you love working for her and listening to her crazy conspiracy theories. “did you hear all the drama last night?”
“yeah I’ve just seen Roger outside, he told me all about the break in” you respond, grabbing your apron off the hook and tying it around your waist. 
“oh no I meant about the drama on the beach?”
“no? What happened?”
“oh it all kicked off. Helicopters, sirens, the works. You didn’t hear any of it from up the hill?” 
“nope, must have slept right through it.”
“you young people, you’ll sleep through anything” Maggie says putting another batch of bread in the oven “well you missed all the fun. They dragged a body out of the sea and-”
“a body?!” You interrupt.
“well according to Carol anyway. She said she heard from Jan that someone had reported a body on the beach. Her grandson works in the police so she finds out things from him. Anyway, the police raced down there straight away but when they got there the army had already arrived and told them to leave. Army outrank the local police apparently.”
“wow” 
“and thats not all. I ran into Nigel this morning in the supermarket. Nigel lives right by the beach and he said he heard a gunshot and a load of shouting last night. He looked out the window and saw a woman lying on the sand bleeding, and people in black uniforms running everywhere. Looked like there were chasing a man. He ran down to see if he could help but by the time he got there the beach was empty. No sign of anyone at all. Strange right?”
“very” you nod, trying to seem more interested “what do you think happened?”
“maybe it was a vampire” a mans voice suddenly speaks and you both turn around to see a tall man with jet black hair stood looking at you through the serving hatch. 
“a vampire? Now theres a suggestion I didn’t expect to hear” Maggie laughs and the stranger laughs back at her, but you get the feeling he wasn’t really joking. 
“What are you cooking back there? Something smells.. exceptionally good” he says, his dark eyes fixed on you.
“All sorts of magic happening in these ovens, but unfortunately we’re not actually open till 8am” Maggie replies in her usual customer service voice and she walks through into the shop. You stay back in the kitchen, mixing the dough for the next batch of bread. 
“oh I’m very sorry, I didn’t know. I’m new around here” you hear the man say, he talks like an old fashioned gentleman.
“no bother, it’s alright. If you want to take a menu and come back in half an hour we’ll be happy to serve you a slice of magic”
“wonderful. I’ll be back then.” You watch as he turns to leave, then stops. “see you later Y/N” he shouts through to you and your eyes go wide as he shuts the door behind him.
“ooh I think someone likes you” Maggie teases and she walks back into the kitchen.
“how did he know my name?” You say, not really asking but more thinking out loud. 
“hmm I don't know. Probably read it off your name tag” she replies casually as she carries on baking. 
You look down at the small name tag you forgot was attached to your apron and let out a small sigh. Of course that makes sense. But you couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach when you thought about the darkness in his eyes. 
— — — — 
The day was dragging. The usual customers came and went, each with their own theories about what had happened the night before. Maggie was happy to listen and share her own views with them but you ended up zoning out every time. Instead you wondered about the stranger from this morning. Who was he? He said he was new here, does that mean he’s staying or just passing through? Either way, something about him made you feel weird and you found yourself watching the door anxiously every time the little bell above it rang. 
You were clearing tables after the lunch rush before you could go on your own lunch break, when the door bell dinged and a woman you didn’t recognise walked in. 
“take a seat, I’ll be with you in a moment” you say politely as you carry a tray of dirty dishes and mugs into the kitchen. You pick up your little note pad and pen ready to go take her order when Maggie stops you. 
“its okay love, I’ll serve her. You have your lunch” she says gesturing to the plate of sandwiches she’s made for you then walking out into the cafe greeting the stranger in her usual loud and bubble manner. 
You smile and take the food out through the back door and take a seat on the grassy bank. The sunshine warms your skin as you tuck in to the delicious sandwiches which Maggie has packed with your favourite filling. Once you’ve finished eating you lie with your back on the grass, watching the seagulls fly high above you and the white clouds moving slowly across the perfect blue sky. 
You lie there daydreaming for a while but when a fly noisily buzzes past your face and makes you jump you sit up, swatting it away with your hand. You check the time on your watch, almost time to get back to work. You take a few deep breathes of the fresh air before standing up and brushing the grass off you. Something catches your attention in the corner of you eye and you turn to look. 
There he is. 
The stranger from this morning stood in the shade, leaning against a tree trunk. A shiver tickles down your spine and he smirks at you as the two of you lock eyes.
“Y/N love, could you come back in now?” Maggie calls, poking her head out the door.
“yes yeah ill be right there” you respond looking at her and she goes back inside. You look back over to the tree but he’s gone. Was he ever really there or is he just on your mind? 
You walk back into the kitchen, deep in thought. 
“are you alright love?” Maggie ask, concerned when she sees the look on your face.
“yeah I’m fine” you snap out of it and smile at her. You spot the unknown lady still sat at the same table she was at before you went on lunch. “she’s still here?”
“she asked if she could use our wifi to do some work on her computer, I said its fine as long as she buys something. Anyway, I’m just nipping out. Will you be okay to run things here for a while?”
“of course, see you in a bit” you smile as she heads out the front door. The lady looks up at you from her laptop and you smile, but she just looks back down and carries on working. 
Ten minutes later the cafe is empty apart from you and the mysterious lady. 
“excuse me, could I get two more coffees please?” She calls to you and you nod. 
“two? Sure yeah, coming up” you reply slightly confused. Two? Maybe someone is coming to join her. 
You make the coffees and carry them over to her, carefully placing them down on the table next to her laptop. 
“Thanks, this one’s yours. Will you sit?” she gestures to the chair opposite her.
“huh? Oh, no thank you. I cant, I’m working right now” 
“theres no one else in here. Just sit for a moment. I have something important to discuss with you” she says friendly enough but with a serious undertone.
“i don't understand-” you start
“Y/N Y/L/N. Born Y/B/D in Y/H/T, but moved here to this village when you were 4 years old and you’ve lived her ever since. Your parents died 5 years ago in a car crash and since then you’ve lived alone in your family home, the lovely little cottage up on that hill.”
“How do you know all of this?”
“Sister Y/N, your great great grandmother, was a nun in Saint Mary’s convent of Budapest in the late 1800’s. In 1897 every nun in that convent was slaughtered. All but three, your great great grandmother was one of them. She fled to England and started a new life. A family.”
“How do you know this?” You repeat, getting frustrated. 
“Because I am a direct descendant of one of the other survivors, Sister Agatha Van Helsing. I’m Dr Zoe Van Helsing”
“What, so, someone broke into a nunnery and killed everyone. But our ancestors got away?” You don't understand why any of this matters.
“not someone, something” she pauses “a vampire”
“a vampire?” You stare at her in disbelief and she nods. She’s not joking, she really believes this. “this is ridiculous, I don't know what game you're playing with me but I want no part of it” you say walking away from her. 
“this is not a game, this is real. Y/N, a vampire killed all those nuns back then, and now he’s back. He’s here, and I think he’s looking for you” 
Her words stop you dead in your tracks. 
“He could have killed her, Y/N, but he didn’t. He made the decision not to kill her and he let her go.” She continues and you turn to face her again. “it’s all here in this journal written by your great great grandmother. I think you should read it”
You slowly walk back over to her and take a seat at her table. She pushes a very old, slightly torn and battered journal across the table to you. You open it up to the bookmarked page and begin reading. 
“1897. 
It all started when the undead man arrived…”
Part Three
Taglist: @a-dorky-book-keeper​ @agent-smulder​
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Text
Some domestic fluff.
“You’re going to break your hand if you keep on like that.” 
Aster and Griffin buy a punching bag.   
~~~~~~~
I’m writing a lot of pointless fluffy nonsense with these two because 
A.  It’s fun.  
And B.  I want to work on believable chemistry.  So have this nonsense.
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Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
The punching bag had been a stroke of genius in Griffin’s opinion. Far from a conventional impulse purchase of course. But it gave him an outlet he sorely missed, a vent to the daily frustrations of his work.
He had not however been expecting Aster to take to it with such gusto. But then when did Aster ever do the expected.
The constant muffled thud and heavy panting from the living room was proving an insurmountable distraction tonight.
Griffin tapped his pencil irritably, trying to force concentration a little longer before finally conceding, and standing, replacing his dark spectacles to face the brighter light of the living room’s lamps.
Closing the door of the spare room turned study he leaned against the wall to observe her. It was a strangely endearing sight, Aster in oversized menswear pounding away at the heavy bag. He’d have kept watching but for one thing.
“You’re going to break your hand if you keep on like that.” He said finally.
Aster started visibly, and he managed not to chuckle at her distress. It was so rare to get the better of her like that.
She spun to face him, brushing strands of errant hair out of her face, only for it to fall into a slightly different position.
“Oh come on, what am I doing wrong this time.” She huffed, crossing her arms, as if her terrible form was somehow Griffin’s fault as opposed to her own inability to remember the basics.
Arguably teaching Aster to hit things more effectively was a grossly irresponsible thing to do. But arguably Griffin was a grossly irresponsible person, and as long as her left hook wasn’t aimed at him, he’d far rather she break someone else’s nose then her own thumb.
“Where to start?” He responded archly, “your footing is alright. But from the waist up, it’s an absolute disaster.”
Aster huffed again, blowing stray hair from her eyes. 
“Alright then, show me how it’s done.” Aster said, before stepping aside to give Griffin uninhibited access to the punching bag. He canted his head to the side as she did, something about the angle of his glasses gave the definite impression of amusement, Aster returned the implied expression with a faint smirk of her own.
“If you insist.” Griffin said, rolling his neck and shoulders before slipping into a fighting stance. Bobbing in place a couple of times and taking a quick glance to make sure Aster was watching.
In all honesty it had been years since he’d done this regularly.
Jab, cross. The impacts came in rapid succession, plainly visible even if Griffin’s hands were not, the first had the bag wobbling and the second sent it crashing to the ground with a colossal thud.
Aster let out a startled laugh, which pulled Griffin’s attention back to her entirely.
“Well done!” She enthused, adding a round of applause for show.
Griffin chuckled, grinning at the complement.
“I am impressive.”
“Very.” Aster agreed pointedly, “but I’m still not sure what I’m doing wrong. Maybe you should pick that up and take another shot. You know for educational purposes.” She continued giving him an impish smile.
Griffin sighed in an exaggeratedly put upon fashion and righted it with barely more effort than it had taken to knock it over. Looking down at her from over his tinted spectacles. 
“I’m beginning to suspect you just want to watch me hit things.”
Aster flushed a little and nodded. “Maybe.”
He rolled his eyes letting out a bemused scoff. “I can’t fathom why, it’s not much of a view.”
“It’s enough of one.” She shrugged, not feeling a need to explain herself beyond that.
It was his turn to flush, now keenly aware of how closely she was watching him even if he wasn’t precisely sure what she was watching as he settled back into position, raising his fists to guard his face and delivering another series of quick hits.
None quite so strong as to knock it to the ground again, just enough to rattle it violently, leaving it rocking back and forth wildly on it’s spring.
He should have been paying more attention to that. Instead of stealing glances at Aster, there was such a light in her eyes when she was entertained. Such a spark.
Hard to say what was louder, the boxing bag smashing against his face, or the string of curses Griffin let out in response. On Impulse he struck out sending the boxing bag crashing to the ground again.
Aster winced, although he could see her eyes crinkling as she tried not to laugh.
“IT’S NOT FUNNY!” He clutched his face and blinked away the invisible tears that were forming. Dammit all. This was what he got for trying to enjoy himself.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” She did at least sound apologetic, if still a little amused. “Are you alright?”
“Marvellous, I love taking a hundred some pounds to the face.” Griffin snapped, sniffing and rubbing his nose tenderly before pulling off his glasses to check them for damage.
“Nothing broken at least.” He grumbled. Well not the glasses. The jury was still out on his nose. Griffin winced again, feeling something damp on his face.
“I- Is that blood?” Aster was pointing at him, her face a mixture of confusion and concern.
Griffin checked dabbing the damp spot gingerly and observing the red liquid on his hand.
“Unfortunately, it becomes visible with oxygen.”
Aster was transfixed by it for a moment, before regaining her senses and hastily offering it to Griffin. “Here.”
“Thank you.” Griffin took it and wiped the blood away then retreated to the couch to pinch his nose and lean forward.
Aster settled herself on the other end leaving a comfortable space between them.
“I thought you were supposed to tilt your head back?”
“Maybe if you’re a vampire.” He responded with a scoff, noting Aster’s confusion.
“When you tilt your head back you end up swallowing blood.” He clarified.
“Oh.” Aster nodded, apparently following well enough. “You’re speaking from experience here aren’t you.”
“Unfortunately,” Griffin sighed, shifting uncomfortably. “This will be the fourth time I’ve broken my nose if I’m unlucky.”
Aster made a face. “Sorry to hear that.”
“It’s no matter really. Cosmetic damage isn’t something I have to worry about.”
“Well, not right now maybe,” Aster said, sliding a little closer and patting Griffin on the shoulder. “One day you’ll get it.”
The contact startled him, but he didn’t pull away or ask her to retreat to her edge of the couch. Aster’s faith was touching, he’d meant is as a joke when he spoke. But still bitterness and frustration had crept in. More and more he was resigning himself to being like this forever.
The fact that someone thought otherwise was encouraging.
“Soon.” He agreed, thinking it best to feign the same hopeful spirit.
Not that he wanted to dwell on the topic, Griffin looked down at Aster where she sat, still close to him.  “Do you still want to know what you’re doing wrong?” he asked.  
“If you’re still in the mood for lessons.  I thought the moment might have passed.”  
“Don’t be absurd, I’m always in the mood to correct people. Make a fist.”  
Aster let out a quiet chuckle and did as instructed.  Listening as Griffin listed the things she had done wrong and enjoying the strange sensation of his invisible hands on hers as he adjusted the placement of her fingers and thumb.
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laurazepamwrites · 4 years
Text
The Chemicals between us - Ch.9
If Talon had no idea they were under attack they certainly did now as Reinhardt was the first to charge in, hitting the gate with such force it bent far inwards, a huge swing of his hammer sent it crashing across the ground. Instantly his shield was raised as Talon finally got their bearings and returned fire. Bullets ricocheted across the courtyard as he slowly pushed forward covering his team as they got into position. Torbjorn threw his turret down breaking Talons fire momentarily allowing the flank to race forward and take cover. Dva propelled her Mech forward of the shield, bullets harmlessly peppered the thick metal which she returned in kind creating a bigger opening for Team B to advance. From her vantage point on the hill Ana scoped out the scene, she quickly took down agents who took a chance of leaving their cover. She noticed a figure appear on the rooftop of one of the buildings and saw the glint of light reflect from their scope. A wave of nausea hit her like a punch to the gut and she felt the memory of pain from the ghost of her eye and momentarily she was back in that fated sniper duel with Amélie Lacroix or whatever sad monster that wretched scientist had made her into. She fought to focus on the present and the now and took aim at the sniper only to watch them be flung high into the air thanks to one of her daughters rockets.
 ‘Snipers on the roof.’ She heard Fareeha say through the communicator.
 ‘Ana?’ Morrisons concerned voice came in clearly.
 ‘I’m fine. It wasn't her.’
 ‘Ana-’
‘I said Im fine.’ She snapped back, looking through her scope. She spotted two Talon agents sprint from their cover towards the nearest building. She took aim and fired, one of them falling as the other smashed the button to open the huge metal grate, as it rose she glanced the metal legs of a Mech, she fired again, cursing as the bullet missed the agent by inches as he dove under the grate. Cursing to herself she spoke into the comms ‘Mech incoming northwest building.’
Morrison fired a round before ducking back behind his cover ‘Dva, Pharah. You're up! Reinhardt give me an update!’
 ‘I can't hold forever.’ He replied, his shield slowly splintering with cracks. Behind him Zarya and Roadhog took out flankers feeling particularly brave or stupid to approach. Roadhog had the double task of making sure his own idiot didnt do anything particularly brave or stupid but for now he seemed too entertained loading grenades into the surrounding choke points..until he got bored of doing that at least. He launched his hook and dragged forward an unfortunate agent, scrap metal exploded in his face showering blood against the sudden burst of shattered light as Reinhardt's shield finally gave way leaving them exposed. Zarya instantly bubbled the huge Crusader as Roadhog grabbed a laughing Junkrat and dragged him behind his huge frame.
 ‘The fuck am I going to see now?’ He complained loudly.
 ‘When has that ever mattered to you?’ The large Junker replied curtly.
 They both flinched as a projectile impacted close by them destroying Torbjorn's turret in the process much to the engineers despair. Junkrat growled as he brushed rubble from his hair.
 ‘What matters is getting in that building which is happening way too fucking slow for my liking.’
 ‘Go right ahead, be meat shield!’ Came Zarya's voice over the sound of bullets and shrapnel.
 ‘Ladies fucking first!’
 ‘He has a point we need to push forward’ said Reinhardt. ‘Dva can you give us an opening?’
 ‘Dvas got her own thing going on right now!’ she shouted as the Talon Mech burst out of its shelter, she swerved hard as it charged her, spinning to face it and launching a stream of projectiles. A glare of blue light radiated as they hit it; of course it had a shield.
 ‘Pharah you seeing this?’
 ‘I heard you liked a challenge?’ Pharah cooly replied. Dva smirked at the rival Mech and clanged her own Mechs arms together in an invitation to battle. ‘Bring it on’ she muttered.
 The Mech charged at her again, this time predicting her movement and turning the same direction as her, DVA cursed and pulled up hard scrapping her Mechs underside against the metal of Talons and sending sparks flying. She launched into the air and used the momentum to propel herself downwards and fired on the enemy Mech, its blue shield slowly showing signs of cracking. Pharah continued her own barrage on it until it turned its attention towards her and launched itself into the sky. She allowed herself to drop a few yards before launching again on the Mechs opposite side whilst Dva flanked it, a hard impact followed by another hit her hard on the shoulder and wing sending her spiralling in the air, Pharah gasped and dropped as she corrected herself and glanced a fresh sniper taking aim at her. She fired a concussive rocket at them as a bullet flew inches past her helmet and watched as the blast sent them flying off the roof and hitting the ground hard. She had the dark thought of hoping it was the french woman.
 ‘Pharah behind you!’
 She launched herself hard into the air and felt the Talon Mech narrowly avoid her. Sensing the opportunity she took aim at one of the chargers on its back and fired. Her rocket hit its target and the following explosion caused the Mech to falter off course and crash heavily into a ground, the blue glow of its shield finally disappeared. Her and Dva both paused before throwing everything they had at the Mech as it struggled on the ground before finally succumbing to their onslaught, Dva caught the shrapnel in her defense matrix as it exploded and breathed a heavy sigh as Pharah landed beside her.
 ‘I totally planned that.’ She said to the Helix Soldier
 ‘Uh huh..’
 There was further success at the gate as Reinhardt's shield had finally recharged and with a triumphant laugh he charged forward blindly into the nearest group of Talon combatants, Zarya swore loudly in her native tongue and managed to bubble him just in time before they gained their bearings and opened fire on his exposed flank, her huge weapon glowed brighter with the extra charge.
 She grinned menacingly and fired a large projectile into the soldiers, the blast sending them flying and leaving a small smouldering crater in the ground. Reinhardt collided against a wall stopping him in his tracks and swung wildly as he twisted to face his foe, nearly toppling over from the weight of his hammer and he found his enemy already defeated.
 ‘Oh..’ He said, failing to hide the disappointment in his voice.
 Zarya smirked and patted his arm as she walked by him, ‘You did good old man.’
 Across the courtyard Tracer and Genji dashed through what was left of Talons rear line making quick work of them, with the courtyard and surrounding grounds clear of hostiles the teams rejoined in front of the main building.
 ‘Any casualties?’ Morrison asked surveying the wreckage around them.
'My turret..!' Cried Torbjorn.
 ‘My wing got busted, if we need more aerial support we’ll have to rely on DVAs Mech alone.’ Fareeha said, sounding frustrated.
 ‘Be glad it's just your wing.’ Came her Mother's voice through her comms.
 ‘We got lucky but don't drop your guard. We don't know for sure what we will find inside.’ Said Morrison.’ Torbjorn, remain outside and keep watch, keep Zarya and Dva with you. Winston will remain on our high ground, Pharah go and join him. Tracer? Head back to the Orca and get her ready to fly us out, don't take off until I signal you.’
 Tracer holstered her twin pistols and gave a wink and salute as she dashed away, gone in the blink of an eye. Morrison turned to the Junkers. ‘Once we’ve assessed what's inside you’ll get to work. We have eyes on you so no funny business.’
 ‘Yeah yeah..’ Junkrat waved him off. ‘Lets get a move on then.’
 The heavy metal doors groaned loudly as Reinhardt pulled them open, the purpose of the compound long disused and forgotten, the buildings cleared of its past. Large metal crates now replaced the facilities and desks of the military personnel who once worked here. Scratches and dents marked the floor where heavy Mechs lifted the crates to and from their transport. Morrison approached one such crate and inspected the insignia emblazoned upon it, Talons insignia. He wrenched the heavy lid off and dropped it unceremoniously on the floor as he peered inside.
 ‘What have you found?’ Asked Ana as she rejoined the main bulk of the team.
 ‘What we expected.’ Replied Morrison as he moved aside to allow her to see, inside was four large assault rifles. McCree pulled the lid off another crate and found similar weapons, he gave a low whistle, ‘Lotta fire power in here..’
 ‘Where do you think its going Jack? To different cells or something much larger?’ Ana asked, her voice anxious.
 ‘Larger like an Army?’ Reinhardt frowned at the crates upon crates of weapons,  Jack shared his concern and pressed his finger to his comms. ‘Winston we need access to whatever files or footage Talon have stored here. Try and find where these weapons are going to.’
 ‘I'm on it.’ The Gorilla replied.
 Ana slung her rifle over her shoulder, ‘I’ll find Talons systems here and assist Winston, Ill alert you when we are finished.’
 Morrison nodded in agreement. ‘Fawkes? Set up your charges, I think there is enough gunpowder in here to destroy every weapon in this place.’
 Junkrat frowned at him. ‘Er..you what mate?’
 ‘The whole reason why you are here Fawkes.’ Jack replied coolly.
 ‘Yeah got that part but ever heard the saying ‘waste not?’ You got a fuck load of fire power in here and you want to get rid?’
 ‘Talon cant have it.’ Jack said bluntly
 ‘Yeah I'm getting that mate, but what I'm saying is why don't WE take it?’
 ‘My thoughts exactly.’ Said McCree as he pulled a rocket launcher from its case.
 ‘Put that back!’ Morrison snapped at him and turned to Junkrat. ‘Don't think ive not thought about it. Our resources are low and we have next to nothing compared to what Talon have, but for all we know each weapon in here could be marked and traceable and I cant risk our base any further.’
 Junkrat made a whining noise ‘Just a few crates of gunpowder mate?’
 Jack cocked his rifle in warning and glared at him through his mask, Junkrat grinned and raised his hands in defeat, ‘Fair play mate, I’ll go keep meself busy.’ He nudged Roadhog with his elbow, ‘C’mon, lets go play.’
 McCree appeared at Morrisons side as the Junkers started pulling miscellaneous wires and charges from their supplies, a warm glow of light appeared in his visor and the smell of rich smoke hit his nostrils as McCree lit a cigar.
 Jack gave an aggravated sigh, ‘I’m concerned Fawkes is going to bring this place down with us inside but really I should be worrying about your addiction blowing us up.’
 ‘I’ll be careful.’
 ‘You are literally leaning on a crate of ammunition.’
 McCree gave a heavy drag before stubbing out the cigar on his prosthetic, the embers dying as they fell softly to the ground. ‘Kids gotta point.’
 ‘I know, but we can't risk our security any further. Winston has gone to great lengths and pushed Athena to her limits to make the base appear abandoned after Talon attacked last time.’
 ‘That how they get agent information?’
 Jack nodded solemnly and glanced at Jesse who was now dusting ash off his metal hand seemingly unaware that his old mentor was behind the deaths of former Overwatch agents. As far as he knew Gabriel was dead and Jack wanted to keep that knowledge secure until the time was right. They both remained silent and watched as Junkrat carefully set his explosives around the building.
 ‘Jack?’ Ana’s voice came through his comms.
 ‘What have you found?’
 Anas voice sounded concerned ‘You need to see this.’
 Jack frowned towards the back of the building where Ana had headed off to, he signalled to McCree to keep watch on the Junkers as he headed in her direction. He soon found her in a small office filled with old military files and a large computer with Talons insignia, Ana was frowning deeply at the monitor, her face aglow with the light of the screen. Jack scoffed ‘Do you think their pens have their symbol on? I don't think even Overwatch was this pretentious.’
 Ana did not respond instead beckoning him over and moving aside so he could see what had her looking so concerned .
 ‘Winston found the files regarding the weapons, they're encrypted so he sent them on to Athena to open but we also found this..’ Ana opened a folder and clicked on a video file, ‘This was from three days ago, The Aircraft that Genji saw? Well we know have confirmation of whose Talons guests are..’ She pressed play and soon Jack was sharing her frown as he watched Sanjay Korpal leave the aircraft, clearly on friendly terms with his Talon host as they grasped hands and laughed at some unheard joke and was led into the main building.
 ‘Do we have any footage of their meeting?’ Jack immediately asked when the video ended.
 ‘No, whatever was said was done in secret.’
 A low growl came from his throat, ‘This isn't the first time Sanjay has appeared in Talons affairs.’
 ‘We need to assume Viskar is also involved Jack, their methods are controversial enough to suspect them.’
 Morrison grunted in agreement and straightened up to leave. ‘I think this may well be our next step, send those files to Athena and any other footage they have, once we get back to base we-’
 ‘Jack theres something else you need to see.’
 Her voice made him stop and turn, her expression a mix of seriousness and concern, ‘This is the only file I found of this Jack so it may be a one off but this concerns me.’ She opened up the file, another video, and pressed play.
 It was night time and a fine rain was falling over the military compound giving the footage a misty atmosphere made more so unsettling by the orange glow of the security lights. The main gates opened slowly and the red lights of a large truck reversing into the compound came into view. Talon agents jumped out the back of the truck, pulling out a ramp and aimed their weapons to whatever resided inside, they appeared to be shouting orders. Slowly, nervously a figure stepped out onto the ramp and looked around their new surroundings as they carefully walked down from the truck, their hands bound in front of them.
 ‘Thats an Omnic.’ Stated Jack.
 ‘A civilian Omnic..’ Corrected Ana.
 They continued to watch as seven Omnics were marched out of the truck, each bound and captive and ordered into the smallest building within the compound. The vehicle parked up and its driver got out, greeting another agent and laughing as they playfully aimed their weapons at the retreating prisoners. The footage ended.
 ‘What are they doing with civilian Omnics?’ Jack asked.
 ‘There is nothing that I can see here that tells us but they were moved on a day later via aircraft, no information as to where but maybe Athena will find something.’
 ‘Or maybe I will, I’m going to check that building.’ Said Jack as he stood up. ‘Whatever it is its not good, do you remember Zarya finding anything out about missing Omnics in the town?’
 ‘Omnics disappear all the time Jack, the locals wont care what happens to them.’
 He sighed in reply. ‘I’ll let you know if I find anything, and be ready to move out soon. I got a feeling we’re on borrowed time now.’
 Jack was halfway through the door as Ana called after him, ‘And yes Jack, Overwatch was      very    pretentious. You especially.’
                        ------------------------------------------------------------
 ‘So how you figure out how to do all this stuff?’ McCree asked Junkrat as he sat on a crate watching the Junker work.
 Junkrat was lying on his back as he pulled at some tape and snapped it with his teeth, using it to stick a charger unceremoniously onto some low piping, ‘Dunno, just..figured it out as I went along?’
 ‘Gotta be more to it then that, not exactly easy work.
 ‘Its not?’
 ‘I don't know if you are being sarcastic, ignorant or egotistical.’
 Roadhog scoffed ‘Sometimes its all three at once.’
 ‘Fuck you.’ Junkrat replied as he stood back up, he rubbed the back of his neck as he considered McCree. ‘I dunno its like..its like ive always been good with making stuff and ya know..quickly learnt its best to make stuff that fucks over anyone that wants to steal, kill or y’know..other things.’
 ‘Must a been alot of trial and error..you don't just learn chemicals, engineering and mechanics up like that.’
 ‘I didnt blow half me fucking body off if thats what you are getting at Lone ranger.’ Junkrat replied getting annoyed, ‘Actually tell ya what just assume I did, might get ya to fuck off.’
 ‘Thought you was starting to like Kid.’
 Junkrat smirked at him as he picked up a large coil of wire, ‘Ya might be hot Cowboy but im not ready to start making friendship bracelets and getting matching tattoos with ya.’
 ‘Ya know for someone so loud and in your face you are really closed off.’
 ‘You don't give Hog such a fucking grilling.’ He complained as he backed out of the building trailing the wire behind him.
 ‘Naw Im sure a whisky and cigar together, me and the big guy will be the best of friends.’ Laughed McCree as Roadhog walked past him but he quickly lost his smile and averted his gaze as Roadhog pause to glared down at him before following his partner outside. ‘Fucking terrifying..’McCree muttered to himself, he looked up as Morrison returned, walked by and left the same way as the Junkers without saying a word.
 ‘No one wants to talk to me today,’ He grumbled to Reinhardt as the giant crusader kept post at the door.
 ‘What?’
 McCree sighed ‘Nothing..’
 Outside Junkrat continued complaining as he set up his explosives on the large grated power supply at the side of the building, Roadhog had ripped the metal grating away like paper allowing Junkrat to pry open the metal casing to get inside. The large cooling fan sounding even louder as he started pulling away at wires. Roadhog watched and wondered for the millionth time if Jamison actually knew what he was doing or was simply relying on luck.
 ‘Like, where does he get off?’
 ‘What?’
 ‘Him in there, asking stuff.’
 Roadhog shrugged ‘People ask stuff.’
 ‘Don't like it.’
 ‘Tough.’
 ‘Tough!’ Junkrat replied mockingly ‘And where's he off to?’ He asked as he spotted Morrison cross the courtyard and entering the far building.
 ‘For not liking questions you ask alot..’
 Junkrat glared at him and turned back to his work with a sullen look, without looking he patted at the utility belt at his waist and found the tool he was looking for in one of the pockets, ‘Ah fuck.’ he muttered as the small screw driver tinkered as it hit the floor, as he reached down something towards to back of the building, just by the fence caught his eye, like a shadow of someone moving.
 ‘See that?’
 Roadhog turned his head to where the younger Junker was looking, ‘See what?’
 ‘Saw something, something moved.’
 ‘Maybe the Shimada?’ Roadhog offered.
 ‘Yeah..yeah probably.’ Junkrat replied though he sounded unconvinced. Preferring Jamison to keep a level head whilst working on explosives in such close proximity was in his best interests so Roadhog gripped his hook in his hand and made his way down the side of the building.
 ‘Cheers mate!’ Junkrat called after him as he picked up the screwdriver and settled back into unscrewing parts off the supply and soldering wires carefully to the large explosive he attached to it, a few minutes passed as he felt a presence behind him. He was unaware of Hog returning but sometimes when he concentrated hard enough he couldn't hear or notice other things around him, and sometimes he heard everything, was aware of everything. It was certainly hard keeping up with himself. ‘Took ya time.’ Junkrat turned to his partner ‘I know was probably me just getting..’ But it was not Roadhog standing over him. It was a tall hooded figure dressed in black holding a menacing shotgun in each hand, one pointing at Junkrats head. The creepiest thing about him was the bone white skull like mask covering his face.
 ‘Who the fuck-’ Began Junkrat but was quickly silenced as the shotgun was cocked. The figure spoke, a mans voice that rasped like the words were struggling to leave his throat.
 ‘Stand up slowly, keep quiet or I end you.’
 Junkrat narrowed his eyes at him and grinned menacingly. ‘Counter offer mate. You fuck off now or I detonate this big ol bomb ive just made.’
 The man gave a strained cough like laugh, ‘We both know you don't have the guts to do that, so unless you want to see yours you come with me.’
 One of Junkrats greatest strengths was being underestimated, it had got in out of many grave situations that a bomb or fire could not fix and he had learned how to size up a person quickly especially when it was a confrontation. Threatening to blow himself up along with this mysterious man wouldn't cut it, it would also mean killing half of the team which annoyingly he did not want to do, so he acted dumb.
 ‘Yeah fair do’s im not gonna do that, just tell me who you are n what you want.’
 ‘You know what I want Rat.’
 Junkrat looked at him with confusion, ‘My amazing services? Tell ya what mate you’d be doing me a favor getting me away from this lot.’
 ‘Get up, hands where I can see them.’
 ‘Alright no dramas I'm moving.’ He got up slowly, hands in surrender and eyed up the creepy mask.
 ‘Y’know I reckon me mates mask is scarier.’
 The stranger remained silent and pointed one of the large guns towards the fence, the other remained aimed at his head.
 ‘Right-o got the message, where we off to then?’ He started to move slowly backwards to keep his eyes on his kidnapper and making his slight limp purposely more pronounced.
 ‘Keep moving.’
 ‘Look if this is about Sydney that suit had it coming double-crossing me.’
 ‘Keep quiet.’
 Junkrat laughed, ‘Good luck with that one, gonna tell me who you are?’
 It was the strangers turn to laugh as he seemed to glide the difference between them and press one of the guns to Junkrats temple, ‘Me? I’m a ghost.’
 ‘Yeah? Funny don't believe in ghosts.’ He flashed a wicked grin at him, ‘Believe in Hobbits though.’
 The mask stranger tilted his head in confusion when suddenly a blunt force walloped the back of his knee causing him to crumble to the ground, dropping one of the shotguns. Junkrat leapt over him immediately and before the masked man could grab him he was suddenly met with the sight of an angry looking bearded dwarf holding a hammer high above his head.
 ‘You gotta be kidding me..’ WHACK!
 Junkrat tore into the courtyard and was met with the confused faces of Hana and Zarya. ‘Problem! We gotta problem!’
 Zarya glare at him, ‘If you say we have less than two minutes till your bomb goes off I snap your spine.’
 ‘I nearly got fucking kidnapped by some creep in a halloween costume and the only one that notices is the little guy?!’ Junkrat shouted at her before spotting Roadhog run out from behind the Mech storage. ‘And you’re fucking useless!’
 ‘Wait what's happening?’ Hana asked
‘Time to go!’ Torbjorn shouted as he ran up to them and hastily started picking up parts of his broken turret, he pressed a finger to his comms, ‘All agents we got a Talon agent still here, not sure if i killed him or not but he nearly went off with the boy.’
 ‘Yeah thanks i fucking owe you one mate. No thanks to this cunt here..’ He added bitterly to Roadhog who wheezed heavily as he rejoined them.
 ‘Fuck- wheeze- you.’
                  ----------------------------------------------------------------
 Jack pulled the doors open to the building seen in the security footage. The lock on the door was easy enough to break off with the butt of his rifle and from appearances did not look as if it was to hold anything important with such light security measures. The lights automatically flickered on and he was greeted with the sight of a huge metal pen with a much more heavily bolted door, It instantly put him in mind of caged animals and left him with a sour taste in his mouth. He circled the pen looking for anything to suggest where these omnics had been taken, but it was just an empty room with a prison cell, in the back was the shell of a murdered Omnic, its parts ripped out and head smashed in, more likely left here as a warning to the Omnic prisoners to refrain from resistance. Jack shook his head at the sorry sight. His comms crackled in his ear.
 ‘Jack?’
 ‘Here Ana.’
 ‘I have eyes on the Omnics being moved on but nothing to say where. This place seems to be used for holding only, I think our work here is done.’
 ‘Agree, start to move out. Fawkes should nearly be-’
 ‘All agents we got a Talon agent still here, not sure if i killed him or not but he nearly went off with the boy.’
 ‘Torbjorn give me a location!’ Jack shouted as he ran out the doors and desperately looked around.
 ‘Main building, all accounted for.’ The engineer replied.
 ‘Winston, Tracer?’
 ‘I'm here and so is Fareeha, er commander?  My scanner seems to be picking up some slight disturbance..’
 ‘Keep an eye on it, Tracer do you copy?’
 ‘Yes Sir?’
 ‘Fire up the Orca, stay put until I give the clear but be ready to move as soon as I say.’
 ‘Yes Sir!’
 Jack rounded the corner and found the team gathered near the main gates, ‘Wheres the agent?’
 ‘Gone Jack.’ Stated Ana, her biotic rifle ready in her hands and hawk like gaze scanning her surroundings.
 ‘Gone? What do you mean gone?’
 ‘Torbjorn went back for him but he was gone, Genji is searching for him now.’
 ‘Fuck!’ Shouted Jack then turned to Fawkes. ‘What did he look like?’
 ‘Fucking weird mate.’
 ‘Meaning what?’
 ‘Meaning he’s dressed up like he’s going to a fucking funeral and went to buy a fucking halloween mask on the way!’
 Jack stared at him, ‘Did he give you a name?’
 ‘Didnt get to fucking pleasantries mate whilst he had a massive fucking gun pointing at me fucking head!’
 Morrison ignored his outburst and turned to Ana, the look on her face confirmed his fears. They needed to get out of here.
 ‘Commander!’ Winstons voice shouted through his comms.
 ‘What is it?’
 ‘Talon ship inbound!’
     Shit..  
 ‘What's their ETA?’
 ‘Ten minutes Commander!’
     SHIT!  
 ‘Tracer! Orca, now!’
 ‘You know what this is      really    filling me with confidence being protected and or held captive by you guys.’ Junkrat said sarcastically
 ‘That bomb of yours better be ready!’
 ‘Oh its done, got the detonator right here.’ Junkrat replied waving a device that resembled a small remote control. ‘There's just one problem with it,’ and with that he pressed the button. The response of the rest of the team was immediate with shocked gasps, curses and flinching but no loud explosion or shockwave came. Junkrat laughed, ‘Its not connected yet, fuck overreact much?’
 ‘Im going to kill him.’ said a wide eyed Zarya.
 ‘Get in line.’ said Morrison, ‘Can you get it ready to blow in ten minutes?’
 ‘Please, I can do it in five.’ Junkrat replied cockily.
 ‘You got two, Rutledge do not leave his side and Winston?’
 ‘Yes Commander?’
 ‘Prepare a signal surge, oh and your shield.’
                       ------------------------------------------------------
 Roadhog stood silently Scrap Gun and hook in hand and ready for action as his partner made quick work to finish his bomb.
 ‘Ya know this might be one of the biggest ive made.’
 Roadhog grunted. ‘Just a bunch of small ones connected together.’
 ‘Which results in a big explosion, fuck keep up mate.’
 ‘You finished?’
 ‘Yeah just…’ He stuck his tongue out in concentration, ‘Done. I’m done! Let's blow this popsicle stand!’ He giggled at his own joke.
 Roadhog grabbed him around the shoulder and began pulling him towards the main gate, he wanted to get Jamison out of here quickly, not just for his own sake but for the fact he had just made a very large explosive alongside crates upon crates of weapons and ammo which he held the detonator for. They were joined by Winston and Fareeha who had made their way done from the high ground as soon as Winston gave his warning. Soon the hum of engines reached their ears and the Orca came into view from atop the trees and descended into the courtyard. Tracer lowered the storage hull and Hana wasted no time propelling her Mech inside.
 ‘Talon ship inbound! Lets go go go!’ Tracer shouted through the comms.
 ‘Wait!’ Shouted Ana, ‘The Orca is not equipped for aerial battle, Winston's shield can't cover us.’
 ‘I could get one of those Launchers..’ Offered McCree
 ‘Thats not an option!’ She snapped in reply.
 ‘Its not?’ asked McCree and Junkrat at the same time.
 ‘We’re not going to have a dog fight Ana, we’re going to let Talon come to us.’ Said Morrison.
 Reaper snarled as he pulled himself up from the ground using the half wrenched off grate to the power supply and on impulse aimed his gun at the explosive the Junker had made. He could bring them all down with him, just like in Switzerland. He considered and ignored the pounding in his skull before lowering his weapon. Damn that dwarf! He could hear Sombras taunting even now. He faded like smoke and moved like a shadow away from where Overwatch had regrouped, no doubt Genji will soon be scaling the rooftops searching for him. Morrison will be barking his orders, McCree will be a smartass. So predictable. He watched them unseen from the shadows, even Ana's gaze passed over him on occasion. He should have knocked the junker out, no matter. Coming here was simply to see what laughable attempt at resistance Morrison had created and to test the waters on getting the Junker. It would be of no concern if they got away this time, he did not even care if Talon lost this small cache of weapons. He was in this for one thing only; blood. He could wait, part of the hunt was being patient and biding your time. Now thanks to the good Doctor and the sadistic scientist he had plenty of that. He gripped his weapons tightly as the damn ape made his appearance alongside Amari’s kid, something long lost in him stirred, shimmers of a faint memory of laughing children. He shook his head and snarled. Gabriels memories taunted him daily, he was no longer that man. He was barely even human anymore. Reaper looked up as the low deep hum of an engine caught his attention and the Orca came into view. He watched as they began to load, and mused to what Morrison planned. His ship was inbound and would be here any minute, did they have it in them to face another gunfight?  Would Morrison be that reckless or had his ‘death’ made him similar to the creature Gabriel had become? He watched a few moments more and still the Orca had not departed. He could hear Talons ship approaching, a ship equipped with weapons and from what he could remember the Orca was not built for aerial battle. He sensed a trap..
 A sudden jarring white noise erupted in his ear, growling he ripped his ear piece out. He hissed as he threw it aside in frustration, knowing damn well that Overwatch had just blasted a signal to over run Talons communications. He looked up as his ship flew overhead and watched the turrets take aim at the Orca as it finally began to take off, watched as the gangway slowly came down.
 ‘I fucking hate that monkey..’
 Winston leapt from the Orca and landed upon the roof of the Talon assault ship, the sudden counter weight sending them spinning. He slammed his shield generator onto the roof of the ship and quickly leapt away.
 ‘Wait you idiot!’ Reaper snarled as the pilot panicked with the sudden appearance of a huge Ape and opened fire..within the shield. The bullets ricocheted and peppered the ship with holes, the glass canopy cracking like ice under the rain of metal.  The Orca descended as Winston climbed aboard with haste and quickly began to rise back into the air as Talon attempted an emergency landing. The shield splintered and fazed from sight, atleast the fools had ceased fire upon themselves. Reaper knew a lost cause when he saw one and had began to glide to a safe distance as soon as Winston had leapt into the air, abandoning his men to their soon to be fiery fate.
              ---------------------------------------------------------------
 ‘Everyone buckle in!’ Shouted Lena as Winston climbed on board.
 ‘Fuck no I aint missing this!’ Junkrat shouted as he hung near the closing gangway, a loose seat belt wrapped around his living arm in a mockery of safety measures, the detonator gripped in the metal one.
 ‘Fawkes you wait till we’re at safe altitude!’ Morrison barked.
 He ignored him, a wild grin on his face and eyes ablaze. Any second now…
 ‘Jamie!’
 He blinked and turned to the sound of his name and the sensation of touch on his arm where Hana had taken hold of it.
 ‘What?’
 ‘Sit down or you’ll knock yourself out!’
 He laughed ‘Totally worth it.’
 ‘Sit down or  i’ll knock you out.’ Warned Roadhog.
 Junkrat hissed at them in frustration and begrudgling untangled himself from the belt and quickly sitting down and belting in properly, he twisted himself to watch the destruction from the window. ‘Come on already!’ He shouted.
 ‘Three Hundred metres till safe distance..’ Said Tracer.
 ‘This is gonna be beautiful Hana!’ Junkrat grinned.
 ‘Two hundred..’
 ‘Hey Jamie?’
 ‘Yeah?’
 ‘One hundred..’ Tracer warned
 ‘Let me press the trigger with you?’ Hana asked.
 Not exactly a request he heard before but it didnt take him long to decide to let the girl have a bit of fun. He giggled and held the detonator toward her, ‘Get ready then.’
 ‘Altitude reached!’
 ‘Now Fawkes!’ Morrison shouted.
 ‘Ok Hana on three. One..two..’      Click.  
 Reaper shielded his eyes and dug his clawed gloves deep into the bark of a tree as he braced against the sudden smack of the shockwave and the heat that followed. Clouds of flame rose into the air accompained by a deafening roar, the talon airship along with its crew swallowed by the smoke and fire. More bangs and explosions sounded within the fiery cloud as the ammo and gunpowder was destroyed. Through the smoke and searing heat Reaper watched the Orca disappear further from view. He cracked his neck and sighed in frustration, drawing out a small phone from a pocket on his long black cloak.
 ‘Mission failed. Pick up required.’ He rasped
 A pause..
 ‘Negative..target lost...oh before I go, how about finding more competent soldiers?’ He cut the call and watched the skies a moment more, ignoring the grip of fumes in what remained of his throat and the heat which was growing steadily stronger before he turned and faded into the smoke around him.
   ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 It was approaching early evening as Mei watched from Winstons laboratory window as the Orca returned to base, Lucio and Brigitte where already at the landing site to welcome them back and she supposed she had better join them, no doubt Morrison would want a mission debriefing as soon as possible and Winston had pre warned her of going through Talon documents Ana had grabbed on their retreat.
 ‘Heya Mei!’ Brigitte greeted her cheerfully as she joined them.
 ‘Hi, I take it no casualties? I don't see Angela.’
 ‘Nah nothing serious, few grazes maybe but no need of a stretcher this time.’ Said Lucio
 ‘Do you guys know how things went?’ Mei asked.
 ‘Not much, dad says the mission was a success and we may have a few leads but not much else-Oh here we go!’
 The back of the Orca opened up and the sound of Hanas mech greeted their ears as it heavily trudged to the garage, its arm waving at them as she went by.
 ‘Well thanks alot Frosty the mission sucked!’ Sniped Junkrat as he walked past her and clasped hands with Lucio
 ‘Excuse me?
 ‘Yeah we lost Torb. Was very sad actually, Briggs taking it pretty well bless her..’
 ‘...Are you..? What?!’ Mei looked from him to Brigitte who appeared to be scolding at Reinhardt over his armor. She craned her neck trying to spot the swedish engineer.
 Hana laughed as she joined them ‘He’s messing with you Mei. Torb lost his Turret thats all.’
 Mei shot them both an icy glare and ignoring them went to greet Winston instead. ‘Dude I think she’s gonna seriously mess you up one of these days.’ Lucio lightly warned him.
 ‘Can’t resist mate, shes fucking funny when shes pissed off.’
 Ana, make sure everyone is unloaded and in briefing in one hour.’ Said Morrison as he headed towards his office.
 ‘You heard him children.’ She said clapping her hands. ‘Weapons in lock up and get those scrapes and bruises seen too. Fawkes that means you too!’
 Morrison near slammed the door to his office and took a moment to take a couple of deep breaths as he calmed himself, He turned slightly to lock the door and sat down at his desk and accessing his computer.
 :      How did Reyes get wind of our mission?  
 The reply was not immediate, he tapped the desk impatiently and as the minutes passed he decided to get ready for the briefing. As he was about to leave the room he heard a      ping    from his desk.
     :Because I told him. Dont be rude I let you guys walk right in.'  
 Morrison swore loudly.
     :You could have cost us the mission.  
 The reply was much quicker
     :And it could cost me my life!  
 Morrison paused.
     :You knew the risks when you got into this.  
     :And so did you ‘Sir’. Im in too deep to ruin things now. Im doing the job you both gave me and im sorry. I really am but I have to give them information too.’  
     :A warning would have been appreciated.  
     :And how would that look when you are too well prepared for their surprise arrival? You need to chill out Jack, nothing wrong with abit of problem solving to keep your old mind fresh.’  
     :What are they doing with the omnics?’  
     :Don't know. Gotta go now, bye bye!’  
 Morrison stared at the screen before lowering his head and rubbing his temples. The mission had been successful and they had completed what they set out to do. Fawkes was not a big a liability as expected and they had a lead on Sanjay Korpal. So why did he have this pit of dread simmering in his gut? His mind involuntarily drifted back to the remains of the dead Omnic and a shiver ran down his spine
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artificialqueens · 5 years
Text
I Can't Love You (Biadore, Adore/past relationship) - doctor bitchcraftt
How long does it take to stop loving someone?  Bianca wishes she had an answer for Adore.
I don’t think that I ever got over you
How many guys do I have to break in order to?
We hear the best way to get over is to under, but you’re the cloud crashing loud in this London thunder
Now my eyes match these December skies
I’ll be fine, It takes time, You were mine
In my head I cant stand in your truth
I’m wasting all my 20’s still loving you
A/N: Sweet and a little sad, based on Adore’s December 2018 tweets about getting over an anonymous someone.  Ends with Biadore in bed.  Non-AU.  Xoxoxoxo, bitchcraftt.
********
“Hey B, can I ask you something?"  Adore’s question came from the other side of the couch and took a moment to register with Bianca as different from her nonsensical chatter to Sammy and Dede.
"Sure."
"How long does it take to get over someone?”
Quietly, Bianca closed the book in her lap and rearranged herself to lean over the back of the couch.  Adore was still sitting cross-legged on the floor with Dede in her lap and an unusually pensive expression.
“Depends on who and how long and how the breakup happened."  It wasn’t a deliberate attempt to avoid the question, although her brain tossed out at least four ways to change the subject ranging from subtle to blatant.
"It’s…” Adore drew in a slow breath, staring down at the sleeping dog as if the answer would be apparent there.  She shrugged.  “Nevermind, forget about it.”
Pressing Adore for an answer would likely result in her actively diverting the conversation, so Bianca turned back towards the coffee table and re-opened the book with a noncommittal noise of agreement.  While her hands turned the pages on automatic, her mind spun into overdrive trying to fit together the non-sequitur.  
A few minutes later, Adore set Dede on her bed and stepped over the gate to come around the couch.  She didn’t plant herself next to where Bianca was pretending to read, casually invade her personal space, or mention being hungry, which would have been expected.  Instead, she wandered over to the windows, leaning on the glass and drumming her fingers to the beat of an unheard song.
Bianca was used to quicksilver changes in mood and conversation, but experience meant she knew Adore usually spoke whatever was on her mind.  Especially between the two of them (or four, counting the C and D of season six).  Generally speaking, she would be more than happy to drop a subject when Adore’s train of thought derailed (or changed to a completely non-parallel track).  Right then though, something about the way she was fidgeting suggested that there was more to it than a passing half-idea.  As far as Bianca knew there hadn’t been any changes in Adore’s relationship status, so it probably wasn’t anything recent.  And if it wasn’t recent, she wasn’t sure what part of lunch out and playing with the dogs might have brought it up to begin with.
She watched Adore’s lips move, silently speaking.  Unfortunately, Bianca was at the wrong angle to even try to decipher what she might be saying.  With a sigh, she gave up all pretense of reading, setting the book aside and joining Adore at the window.
“Sometimes I wanna erase everything.”  
The quiet statement hung in the air between one breath and the next, and Bianca found herself at an uncharacteristic loss for words.
“…talk to me?”
Adore shook her head, but nonetheless turned away from the window to face her fully.  
“Nothing.  Just…been writing, and some stuff keeps coming up.  Like the same old shit that you just want to get over or past or whatever, but it keeps following you?”
“Yeah.  It does.”  
Bianca understood far too well.  She might be almost a decade and a half older, but she wasn’t immune to it either.  Part of her knew that the nonstop work was a way to deflect and distract, taking refuge in her safe place - on the stage.
“Sometimes I want to unfeel something, you know?”  
“Yeah,” Bianca repeated, “I do.”
********
The remainder of the daylight slipped away between them in silence, Adore lost in thought and Bianca ostensibly on her phone, although she couldn’t keep herself from looking up every time Adore shifted.  Silence between them was usually a comfortable thing, and she did her best to respect it this time.  
They ordered in Thai for dinner, and after cleaning up the empty boxes Bianca finally gave in to the urge to address the elephant in the room (Darienne jokes aside).  
“Talk to me, pussyface?” Her voice was barely above a whisper, as if speaking too loudly would break the fragile something Adore was trying to manage.
“Still not over him.”  Adore sounded equal parts defeated and frustrated.  “It’s fucking with my brain today.”
Bianca didn’t insult their friendship by pretending not to know exactly who and what she was referring to.
”There’s no time limit on it.”  
Scooting closer, she wrapped an arm around Adore’s shoulders where she was laid out on the chaise.  
Behind the devil-may-care exterior, Adore felt things even more deeply than it appeared on the surface.  That same vulnerability that hypnotized audiences when she was on stage translated into an equally deep capacity for hurt.
“It makes great lyrics, but every time I think I’ve written it out of me, it’s still there.  I’m tired of it, B.”  Adore reached up to entwine their fingers, seemingly engrossed in examining the chipped black nail polish.
“Like I’m so lucky to wake up every day into doing this life.  This is what I want to do, and I hate that that isn’t enough.  It feels so fucking ungrateful.”
“It’s not you being ungrateful, it’s what you’re feeling.“ Bianca sighed and rested her cheek against the top of Adore’s head.  “I’m not gonna give you some bullshit line about learning and moving on, because you’re not that dumb.
“Anyone who tells you that you can control what you’re feeling is a liar.  And,” she added, “I can tell you that you can’t drink it away.  Still there when you’re sober.”
”I don’t want to love him anymore.”
Bianca squeezed her hand.  
“I know.”
********
The dogs were long since asleep when Bianca checked the time.  
“Sleepy yet?”  
Adore didn’t look particularly tired, but it was a fair question.  They’d gone through a decent amount of vodka, although not enough that Bianca was concerned with her ability to navigate down the block only half awake.
“Can I stay?”  The echo of the oft-used phrase when traveling together brought the smallest ghost of a smile.
”Course you can.  M’tired though.”
Nodding, Adore released her hand and Bianca stood, feeling her back protest at the hours spent slouched.
After checking that the alarm was set and brushing her teeth (she’d heard Adore using mouthwash in the other bathroom), Bianca wasn’t surprised to find her already in bed.
She settled under the covers and switched off the light, patiently waiting for Adore to decide if she needed the comfort of touch or just wanted to share the covers.
”Thank you.”  Adore’s voice came from a foot away on the pillow.
”Hmmmm?”
“For you know.  Not telling me I’m stupid.”
“Bitch.  Of course you’re a stupid queen sometimes.  Just not about this.”
“And not being weird about this.” The glow of the phone screen illuminated Adore’s quirked lips.  “I’m gonna stay up a bit.”
Bianca hmmm’d in agreement, then turned on her side to face her, confused. “Weird about what?”
“This.”  Adore made gesture with her free hand that looked like a cross between a one-arm shrug and pointing down at the duvet.  “You know, not being judgy and stuff.”
” ‘Stuff’?”  She wasn’t usually the one late to the party in catching on.
“Like if I posted where we are, people would freak out about it.”
”…in L.A.?”
Adore set her phone down on the bed.  “You.  Me.  Bed together.”
Bianca was really beginning to feel like Adore was having a different conversation.  “We share all the time?  Who gives a fuck about it?”
”You know.  The fans and stuff.”
Rolling the rest of the way over, she lifted her head off the pillow just enough to squint in Adore’s direction.  “I’m not explaining anything to a bunch of idiots on social media.  None of their business anyway.”
Adore was silent long enough that Bianca wondered if she’d fallen asleep.  Then, “Love you.”
”I love you too,” she mumbled into the pillow. “And don’t post anything if I don’t have a shirt on.”
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wonderlilane · 5 years
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i think the kikuo thing is that (a) he sort of stopped the sexual side of it in recent years (b) with stuff like gomenne gomenne you can make a case for it being just...a representation of csa, that isn't for the pleasure of pedophiles, but when it's an image? bit more yikes. it's kinda like maretu's case: he'd been writing Yikes songs for ages but we thought that was just his art. then the callout post arrived (i totally see your point too though: it probably should have been questioned more)
(warning for csa/abuse discussions in this post)
ok im not like. really 100% defending kikuo here since i dont have full context, i dont know his intentions behind it, etc. but the reason i made that post was because to me, the outrage over kikuo rn seems honestly A Little performative and.... several years too late i guess?
i’ve seen everything on his pixiv. i’ve known about it for years (note: these comics are 4+ years old) and i havent stopped following him because, well...... to me, the comics on his pixiv ARE a “representation of csa that isnt for the pleasure of pedos”. i’ve (unfortunately) read some actually pedophilic comics before, and the way those comics portray csa vs. how kikuo does it is...... so incredibly different that i really struggle to paint kikuo as just some creep. im not sure if you’ve seen his pixiv anon but if you have, i hope you can see what i mean (if you can stomach looking at it)
im really struggling to articulate my feelings on this well but like..... i guess i’ve always seen kikuo as an artist that (without making too many assumptions) Likely is some form of abuse victim himself, who is literally famous for making explicit csa/abuse content, not for any fetish-y reasons but as vent or horror art. and then someone digs up his old pixiv comics which are the EXACT same as his songs and suddenly, everyone is disgusted by him
i’m genuinely just concerned for people because if you consume this kind of content, you need to be critical of it. if you object to csa depictions in art you cant just excuse it when it’s tied to a catchy beat you like. if you hate kikuo because he draws kids in horrifying situations, then for your sake, and i mean this in the nicest way possible, please never listen to half of his discography again, because his lyrics are much worse. if these comics are to be condemned, why did we as a community consider it acceptable to bop to his songs about violating little kids for all these years? does art, including music, that depicts csa have any value at all, or is it completely wrong no matter what? if anything comes from this i at least hope it gives people a wake up call to examine the media they consume more critically and to try to give an answer to some of these questions
note that im also finding it difficult to discuss this since afaik no one’s translated these comics. i definitely don’t want to push anyone in particular to translate them since they ARE very very challenging works to view and deeply upsetting on many levels, but i wonder if the language barrier isn’t making it easier to assume things about them since we as english-speakers have to just... imagine what kikuo is saying about csa in them, which could very well not be what he intended
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babyi · 5 years
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Thank U, Next: Album Review
Disclaimer: These opinions below are my own and only opinions. It’s okay not to agree with anything I will say here, this is my personal experience of the album. Also the album hasn’t been out long yet so it hasn’t had the chance to marinate yet and opinions might change in time. Y’all asked for it. 
Imagine: 4/10
This is not the most interesting song on the album, but it’s chill and nice to have on. The whistles are everything and really, for me, pull the song from boring into being an interesting experimentation piece. I don’t have a lot of reasons why this would be the first song but it’s not a bad opener. I guess this song is an alright song, a little underrated and a weird choice for a single given the other singles and how much Ariana doesn’t appear to care about it. The lyrics are similarly okay, not groundbreaking but not a fuckup (except the use of ‘sleep’ instead of ‘asleep’?) and the concept is sweetly sad. 
Needy: 8/10
Bop bop bop. It’s not a strong song like a big ballad or brave r&b statement but for what she is, she’s still important. The concept is everything, and it didn’t let me down which is important to me. It was the snippet that I was looking forward to and it did deliver the slow jam with a unique depreciating but honest message. The vocals aren’t stunning but she does sing and it feels really personal and heartfelt. And the babyloves instrumental at the end cinches this as a favourite of mine, it just sounds so pure and it’s a real relatable song. 
NASA: 5/10
Apparently quite a controversial one, either people are loving it or ignoring it. It does have a ‘kiss me thru the phone’ vibe, but I think she’s cute. Again, not a big statement but satisfying as a basic r&b moment. The lyrics are great in this song, despite the repetitive ‘imma need spice’ chorus, the verses have some original concepts and storyline. It has a really cool alternative, almost spin-off vibe to God Is A Woman with the space parallels and some linking lyrics about ‘your orbit’. And whenever Ariana manages to have a concept that doesn’t just revolve around penis in the vag I always nut, and this song is actually about the opposite and pushing someone away which is refreshing. The song is ultimately a bit forgettable but has some redeeming qualities that make me glad it made it to the album.  
Bloodline: 2/10
Nonna is a nice touch but I don’t really care about it? I don’t think about it unless it’s on. It’s good to come to a more upbeat song after the first three, and it’s catchy- with a kinda havana spanish vibe? It would have been interesting to see what would have happened if this was a single instead of Imagine, but as a 2019 song it’s almost a little outdated as music has evolved from despacito’s popularity. The lyrics are basic and something more familiar to Ariana’s usual style of vocals with some signature ‘yuh’s. I can see why people would enjoy it, and I think if it played in a club, no-one would object but for me idc. 
Fake Smile: 4/10
Starting to get tired of these alternative ‘sample’ beginnings to her songs on this album. But I like the sound of the song a lot. It reminds me heavily of Lily Allen? And y’all know I don’t like unnecessary swearing which the chorus of this song has a lot of I think. It has some of greedy’s backing vocals but goes in a different direction with vibe, however the concept really puts me off. We have this ‘’my life is hard the media and rumours are hard’’ in SO MANY other Ariana songs and I am TIRED. Go talk to You Dont Know Me or IDC for those tired concepts. She really doesn’t seem to be focusing on the positivity when she’s always putting out songs like this which is a shame because I really like Lily Allen’s music. 
Bad Idea: 7/10
We start out so strong with this song, and I really like it. The chorus really makes me wanna bop, it’s a good catchy song. Since someone pointed out the ‘ari-chan’ bit I’ve really not been able to unhear it which sucks. But in my opinions it’s like a better/alternative version of dw’s Bad Decisions. It’s not the most unique of concepts but I really like the climax vocal moment in it and it reminds me of breathin at that part. The orchestral part at the end confuses me a little? It doesn’t really go but doesn’t ruin it for me- I’ll always take some strings. 
Make Up: 0/10
I’m not a fan. It’s another one of those trippy pharrell-esque beats with no real content and some more rap-singing. Not much to say about this one, I just don’t really like it, it’s a skip from me. Issa mood issa vibe isn’t good lyrics, it doesn’t have any good melodies or vocals that would endear it to me. The beat kinda sounds like it’s falling down the stairs slowly. I just don’t think it’s album material. 
Ghostin: 10/10
Now she’s a CONCEPT. Her voice sounds heavenly and in my opinion this song has some of the best concepts and lyrics on the album. It’s a sad bop but so so needed after all Ariana has been through with her bereavement and loss. It’s so sad and sends my heart to her, she’s serenading her tears and fears to us on this song and really telling us what is going on with some of her sadder moments. It’s bittersweet and uses the concept of ‘ghosting’ as a double meaning for mac’s spirit and as the colloquial slang meaning to break up with or ignore [her current love]. It’s clever and meaningful and so good, we were blessed with the harmonies and strings on this one. 
In My Head: 9/10
Doug PREACH, this is one of the only times I will praise speaking samples in music because his part of this song is so good and necessary. Doug telling Ariana ‘enough is enough’ is PEAK reliability and you get a good sense of their friendship and her life at that point in time. The song itself pops off, it takes some of the previous ‘pete’ concepts of ‘i thought you into my life’ and develops it into this idea that she actually created that version of that person and how detrimental that can be. I think we’ve all created a vision of a person in our heads before and can relate to the concept. The lyrics are good, and the melodies and vocals are good. Mostly on this one I like the concepts that arise in the lyrics. It also lyrically ties to why try with the demons and angels visuals which i cant get enough of even if ariana shits on why try. I even enjoy (and laugh at) the scoot scoot part. It’s just a good ass r&b song that I thoroughly enjoy. 
7 Rings: 1/10
Listen, do I sing along to this song: Yes. Does that mean I think it’s good music? No. I dont like the concept nor the unoriginality of the verses just being a big sample from another song. I dont care about this flex, and I dont relate. Ariana is too rich and always has been so this song holds more jealousy and distaste for me. I don’t mind the ‘you like my hair?’ lyric but I do know about the controversy with that black woman who sang that lyric about weave and imo it’s a whole ass messssssss. The review of this song by itself could be a whole post but I’ll leave it with just saying I don’t like it. 
Thank U, Next: 10/10
A sweetheart. Really the only pop song on the album, and just a good song. It’s a classic successful max martin song, and I like the self love addition to the lyrics. It’s finally a song that ISNT about penis in vag and I was very excited when it came out. This song is going to get overplayed soon but I’m very proud of it as her first #1, I feel like it’s real and she tried very hard with it. It’s a good concept and aside from not promoting it well, deserves more recognition for the good all-round song it is. Kinda wish the U was a You but this is Ariana so I’ll just live with it. 
Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored: 1/10
This song starts hot and a bit like an attack, which is in contrast to the likes of Bad Idea which is a softer but still strong start. My opinions on the MV aside, it’s catchy but it’s basic. This is probably the least produced song on the album imo, and is what people would expect of her probably. It’s darker and I don’t go out of my way to play it. I do like the chorus and would sing along, but it doesn’t thrill me. I think it’s kinda funny? But unfortunately the song is not meant in satire. Also the title is just too damn long. 
Overall:
The album is still new to me but it has a few really redeemable songs on it. I’ve said it before but my view on it is of this album being a kinda darker side B of sweetener. I think it’s sonically cohesive as an album, only thank u next the title track really sounds different from the themes of the rest of the album. I was pleasantly surprised by the lyrics on this album, and how several of the concepts were a step away from basic fucking tracks. I dont hate it or think it’s a bad album but coupled with sweetener you can definitely see a strong move away from pop or anything ballad-y which would make any sort of good use of her voice which is a shame because she has the talent for broadway, not rap. Ariana’s career mistakes aside, it’s as good an album as I would expect to see from her at this stage and she is definitely getting more confident in sharing real parts of her life in music which is positive. 
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tigerdrop · 4 years
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What is your Benrey’s motivation for everything that happened in Black Mesa? Getting Gordon’s hand cut off, trying to kill the Science Team, etc. Was it all a game to him and he didn’t realize the seriousness of it to the others? Did he actually want to kill them but is chill now?
oh man i have thought about this anon. way more than perhaps i should
so, you know, initially his motivation is just doing his job. you see a guy with his dick out and without the credentials to be where he is, you do your job and ask for it. but at the same time, hes also literally been described as “openly lustful” after gordon by WRTV, and i think that plays a factor here too - benrey keeps following him b/c he just plain likes the guy. how he actually expresses that desire notwithstanding
but then u get into the betrayal and the final boss fight and everything. and my long-winded and unorganized rationale for all that stuff is: what i think is that benrey is, you know, self-aware as the title implies, and he knows that hes got a part to play here. hes kind of “supposed” to be the bad guy. and at first he has fun playing the game - he really gets a kick out of making gordons life difficult and stressing him out and scaring him a little sometimes. its all games to him! and if theres one thing benrey makes clear, its that he just wants to play games with people, whether its video games or thinly-veiled power play games. he likes pushing gordons limits and seeing him get all fuckin sweaty and anxious and hearing him yelp with surprise. you know, for normal reasons.
but at the same time, he also really seems to like making gordon laugh, and theres a constant push-pull between these aspects of him. benrey doesnt have a very high level of emotional intelligence/awareness/whatever you wanna call it, and he processes his feelings for gordon much like a fuckin kindergartner pulling their crush’s pigtails. benrey likes being mean, he likes being obnoxious, and he likes being condescending, that much is all true. but its all in service of one thing: getting a rise out of gordon, b/c he fucking likes the guy and likes having his attention, whether its positive or negative. (although judging from how much he goes out of his way to do silly shit to make gordon laugh, he really likes the positive stuff, too.)
(on a side note: its really, really funny how much more/harder gordon laughs at benreys jokes than anybody elses. he clearly likes benrey a lot, at least to an extent. like, whenever theyre underwater and theyre all going BBBBB, gordon only really laughs when benrey does it, and he only plays along and makes the noise himself when benrey does it. thats fucking cute, man)
its also worth pointing out that for all that benrey gets in gordons way and makes life difficult for him, hes also pretty protective of him and tries to be helpful in his own way. see: benrey stepping in to “protect” him from the other security guard at the very beginning, and leaping into action to shoot shit to protect gordon, and pulling him up from the ladder when gordons struggling to get out of fucking sewage, and attempting to help out with puzzles. he also gets jealous of other people being the target of gordons affection/attention, too. honestly benreys just really fuckin capricious, but at his core he does a lot of the shit he does b/c he really likes gordon. even if that manifests as him being a condescending asshole who does shit specifically to piss gordon off or scare the daylights out of him (b/c, at his core, he is also kind of a creep.)
he doesnt really seem to understand the consequences of his actions and the games he plays a lot of the time, either. at his core i dont think benrey wants to hurt gordon for reals - he sounds genuinely surprised and upset that the military was cutting off gordons hand. and he was probably Actually Unhappy to see gordon being in severe pain like that. thats not fun anymore, right, thats not playing the game that benrey wanted to play. my understanding is that he sold gordon out because he knows the part hes gotta play, right. somebodys supposed to be the “bad guy”. whether hes being pushed into it by gman or for whatever other reason. he just.......never anticipated that it would lead to that, i think. the entire science team was shocked at gordons hand getting cut off, too, and honestly theyre all culpable for what happened to gordon! they were all conspiring for one reason or another, whether deliberately or through being tricked into it
as like further justification for that idea, benrey intermittently forgets what the deal is with gordon missing his hand, like at the end of part 3 where he sounds genuinely worried about what happened to gordons arm. and he also doesnt really seem to “get” what the deal is with people being dead - stuff cant really hurt him, and he expresses surprise and confusion during part 4 when they keep running into dead scientists. probably all he really “gets” is that humans are supposed to have all their body parts, and theyre supposed to be, you know, alive and well, but his grasp on the concepts of severe bodily harm and death is.......loose at best. along with his grasp on “human concepts and needs” in general
and honestly during part 4 i get the vibe that benrey doesnt.......actually want them to get to the end. he doesnt want to have to be the big bad boss. he keeps trying to get them all to turn back and go back to black mesa proper. and hes really dialed up to 11 during this part, both in terms of being an obnoxious obstacle to gordons goals and in terms of doing as much as he can to be cute and nice and make gordon laugh. its really pointed IMO. like, the conflicting goals of thinking, “if i get in his way enough, hell give up and he wont go to xen and have to fight me” and also “maybe if im really nice to him and make him laugh a lot, hell listen to me and we wont have to fight”. hes really wringing the most that he can out of their interactions before they have to fight each other. unfortunately for benrey, that gives off some really mixed messages, and thats just not gonna work
theres also the bit during the final boss fight where gordon cant find the last passport, and benrey just so happens to pull one out and be like “oh nooo haha you mean this one? you better not shoot it and beat me”. which really hammers home the point that he doesnt necessarily want to be the big bad evil guy, and he doesnt really want to kill gordon. but he has to play the part he was given. all he really wants is to be friends, and also to suck gordon freemans dick. (why not both?)
but at the same time, i imagine that benreys really confused and unhappy by the mixed messages that gordon gives him, too. benrey sounds so like........genuinely sad and dejected after gordon gets mad at him during part 4 over the events of the past day, focused on benrey alone. benreys probably really stressed out by all of this. he just wanted to be gordons friend, but gordon keeps taking out all his anger on him. and gordons mad at him for killing people, but gordons killed a bunch of people too. he doesnt get why the rules are different for gordon or why the rules keep changing or why gordon keeps getting mad at him and then laughing at his jokes like it’s nothing. the whiplash is probably hard to deal with and might well contribute to him being like “you made me bad!”
anyway god that is. so much to read and isnt super organized. tl;dr benrey may be mean and obnoxious and outright malicious at times, but not b/c he hates gordon or actively wanted to severely hurt him/kill him. hes just kind of a fucking creep with an alien sense of morality and a poor grasp on how humans work
thanks 4 reading,
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dwightkschrute · 5 years
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In 2014 and 2015 I did a my year in review kind of thing where I, of course, reviewed it and accompanied it with a picture from that month. I somehow forgot to post 2016 (until now) and forgot to do it at all for 2017 but unfortunately, I am back with a really disappointing year. I was debating not putting myself through the legit pain of “reviewing” this year but I think of how I love going through my 2009-2010 posts and seeing how much I’ve grown so this is for you, successful and cooler future me.
2016 and 2017 were amazing but 2018 was my most promising year. My boyfriend and I were going to move in, I was going to start my dream job; everything was perfect. It definitely started out as one of the best years of my life! Then exactly halfway through the year everything changed and I was left having to pick up the pieces and completely restart, making it one of the worst years of my life.
I started January in Mexico, which was the best, but my family and I got home early in the month. I had quit my job the month before so I dedicated the entirety of this month to job hunting. Our friend (my bf’s bff who became mine and my brother’s bff early on)’s dad got a boat so it was like we got a boat too because despite the cold, we lived on it. (My boyfriend couldn’t go on the trip with us, which he was super bummed about (and that we had to spend like 10 days apart which was killer then), so he was the one to pick us up at the airport and he greeted me with a bouquet of flowers. Out of the many gifts/gestures he gave me, that was one of my favorites.)
February I started my amazing new job so life was back to 40 hour work weeks and not having much time for much else. I was always attached to the hip to my bf so almost every day after work entailed going out with him or having dinner with my family or his. That was my month. My favorite part of every February is Valentine’s Day and this one was as amazing as the rest. I don’t even have enough space (of the allotted space I give myself for each entry at least!) to describe that day. (My bf at our Valentine’s Day dinner. We finished our long day at this restaurant (so, so cool, once popular with Old Hollywood stars) on Hollywood Blvd and it was dreamy and romantic and amazing.) Oh man, I don’t have a lot of interesting things to say about March. Oh, my parents got Influenza (A/B/idk tbh), so it was two weeks of my brother, bf, and I taking care of them. My dad has a serious chronic disease so it was especially dangerous for him so it was a stressful time. Once we weren’t in hazmat suits anymore (no but really, we were gloved and double masked around them and kept them quarantined), I’d be at work or with my bf. I also started to get close with a co-worker, who I quickly became close friends with! (My bf’s two huskies. I’ve just loved that picture since I took it! I’ve never been loved by a dog more than the one in the back of this pic. Not even by my own! He has a special place in my heart.)
April was barbecues at my house or my bf’s, trying every brewery and bar around, hikes, bike rides, beach visits, baseball games, boat rides, late night cooking and baking. It was lots and lots of love and happiness and I would give absolutely anything to go back to those days. (My brother and bf grilling on Easter. This was a familiar scene, I have so many pictures of this exact scenario, yet looking at it just now made me so emotional! Stop! They’re just grilling!) May was so exciting! Very first day I got a new car! I was so happy! It was long overdue because my finicky, expensive Volkswagen had to go and I’d fallen in love with the new Honda Civic (I’ll admit I have basic taste but I don’t care!) so I finally bit the bullet and did it. This month my bf and I, after a long time of “oh wouldn’t it be nice!”, bit the bullet as well and decided to finally get serious about finding a place together. So the apartment search started, but we soon realized our home, Orange County, was super expensive. My bf, in that “ha ha jk but I’m down if you are” way, suggested we pick up and move to Oregon and I immediately agreed. It just felt right and despite us being the most careful and non-spontaneous people ever, we decided to do it! So we began to research, look for apartments but most importantly, jobs. (My car the day I took it home!)
Uhhhhhh, well, June hurts to think about! We went to visit Portland, where we decided we’d want to live because that’s where the jobs were, on a quick trip since it was strictly “business.” Portland was everything I imagined and more. We loved it and I think we loved playing house in our airbnb more than anything about the city. Back in LAX we came to the easy conclusion that though we lived Portland, that’d require a lot and for our first time moving out we’d like to stay close to home and above anything else, we just wanted to live together as soon as possible. We immediately started to look for places in LA, we spent the month apartment hunting, and towards the end of it, decided on one we really liked, one he begged me to please say yes to so we can move in already. I was so, so, so happy this month but what made me happier was seeing my bf, I swear, even happier than me. I seriously felt unstoppable and was beyond excited for our future. (I had a lot of Portland pictures to choose from but my bf and I liked this one because it reminded us of Always Sunny for some reason.)
In July, everything changed. To start, I left my job. I thought, new chapter in my life, new job coming, I’ll live really far, I should leave now. So I did. My last day was an emotional day because I loved my job so much and every single person I worked with. That very same day, my bf and I broke up. For unrelated reasons to my last day, to our moving in, to our relationship, etc. We had an amazing, amazing relationship but he has a lot of demons and issues/insecurities he has to deal with and conquer, and though I was aware and was there for him and would continue to be by his side no matter what, he decided that this was a battle he had to handle by himself and I figure before he got into a more committed situation. It didn’t have to happen, though. I hadn’t talked about the specifics of the breakup on my blog so  sorry for changing the mood of the post, but yeah, July happened and it felt like my world stopped. Really regret quitting my job now, huh? I was hit by two huge losses and changes right at the same time.  (I took this on my friend’s boat 20 tequila shots in, drunk and sad as fuck. Not to get fake deep but how sad. Literally on a boat, beautiful sunset, would rather die.)
August was a blur and I’m still not convinced I didn’t just dream it. God, alright, here we go, the rest of the year is a mess so get ready. I fell into a deep depression fast. It also didn’t help that my dad had to start getting radiation/infusions for his illness shortly after the breakup. I couldn’t believe how much my life had changed. I started dating someone else and then I dated another guy shortly after. I wanted to replace and/or forget and I really thought that’d be the solution. I was miserable when I was with them. I took absolutely any opportunity to get really drunk or high, and the opportunity came often so I spent most of my days desperately trying to not feel anything. The only time I’d feel okay was when I was extremely high and I couldn’t even think. Since I had a lot of savings for my out of state move, I had a lot of money to blow, which I did. I realized I even liked the feeling of the temporary “high” of spending a lot and receiving the stuff. I’d hang out with any friend who offered (out of boredom? loneliness?) and even ended up on a mess of a Vegas trip. Worst month ever. Maybe. (Here’s a positive! I like that bathing suit and my tiddie looks so round!)
When September came I realized two months had passed and all I had done was be a huge depressed mess. I no joke forgot about work. I just straight up forgot. I started to look for a new job, which hurt me so bad because I had to face the fact that it wouldn’t be my Cool LA Dream Job anymore. I stopped dating. Most importantly, I completely stopped drinking and smoking because it’d almost always make me sadder but also it scared me that I had no self control nor did I care. I saw a whole lot of my close friends and they, along with my immediate family, kept me afloat this month because time felt like it was going so fast. I couldn’t believe that at a blink of an eye it was night again and then a new day. Time had no mercy for me, please let me hold on. (Me at a baseball game. Tbh I’m looking at this thinking, did this really happen?)
October started out nice because my best friend of years, who I unfortunately had a falling out with three years ago, reached out to me. I’ll always give her all of the credit for doing that. I can’t begin to explain what this meant to me. It was a nice, bright shine of light that managed to shine through the dark clouds. Having my best friend is exactly what I needed. I’m a big believer in the universe acting in mysterious ways and though I had grown disappointed in its little surprise for me lately, this was the kind I always appreciate. I spent a good part of that month with her, catching up and doing things just like we did back then. It was like nothing had changed. That’s all I remember about this month, and a super fun Halloween! That day was probably one of the best days in months. (My best friend Rylee and me the first time seeing each other in 3 years. We’ve had our blogs for 8-9 years so please follow her for quality content)
November was rough. I was frustrated because surely things should had been better by then. I was still feeling so low, I was going to job interviews to no avail, I “relapsed” and had a high/drunk off my ass on a boat messy moment.. To make matters worse, I accidentally drove up on a cement divider in a parking lot and my airbags deploy, which is so expensive to fix, so my car was out of commission for a month. Then I got so sick and I rarely ever get a small cold. I seriously felt like I was cursed, even the smallest thing felt like an insult towards me. The one good thing is that since July I had been forcing myself to go to the gym five times a week. My mom said exercising was the only thing that’d help her feel that sweet release of seretonin, endorphins, dopamine, and all that good stuff when she was depressed so, though I enjoyed going to the gym before, I did it just for that reason alone. It worked and as another result I got like pretty fucking fit. Revenge body, you’re one of the few good things in my life right now. (I literally had no idea what to choose so I said fine, here’s a pic of the scene of the crime. Whatever.)
In December I turned 26. Which I hate, naturally. I went to a million more job interviews. I’m seriously so embarrassed to admit that but whatever, it’s the truth. (I have a degree, experience, and an awesome cover letter..I’ll keep blaming the curse!) What kept me sane was that we had different family members visiting from the very beginning of the month. Playing with an energetic, adorable baby kept me distracted and happy. Having so much company around also distracted me (slightly, but it helped!) from the fact that the holidays and my birthday would be quite different now. I’m one of those annoying Christmas lovers, usually at least. This year everything just happened and I didn’t care. But I survived December! (I don’t care. This is the appropriate representation of 2018 and how I feel at the end of it.)
Jesus if you’ve read all of this.. I’m sorry you had to read about the mess of my year but really more like the mess that is ME. Yknow those like “people my age I went to HS with vs me” memes? I seriously went from being that bitch with a good paying job, brand new car, a serious, great relationship with a promising future together (Like. We would color coordinate outfits! LMAO. We would have dinners with both of our families together. We were obsessed with each other. You’d roll your eyes if you saw any of this. I can’t get over how perfect we were, it’s hilarious what happened to us.) and then at the blink of an eye I went to not having absolutely any of that, casually dating (something I’d NEVER done) anyone who resembled my ex and sadly and drunkenly puking off the side of a pier. Who is she? I don’t know, I got whiplash. (Queen of parentheses and side notes, I know. But another thing about me is... I’ve never been affected by people leaving my life. I’m used to it. I’ve never been anywhere as affected as I was when my ex and I broke up. This isn’t normal for me, my ENTJ/Capricorn ass doesn’t know what this feeling is.)
Please curse that has been put on me, release me. Whoever is attacking my voodoo doll, calm down! Please! I’ve gone through enough sadness and loss. If 2019 is even slightly as bad, I’m going to be like that pigeon I reblogged the other day that’s like “fuck this I’m just going to sit here.” I can’t even make a cute but corny, hopeful “hope 2019 is great!” comment. I’m literally begging you...pleading you... I don’t believe in karma but after all of this shit, I better have something much better in stock for me. “Good things are coming!” I fucking hope so. Like, I’ll be even more annoying right now and say that it’s not fair that I didn’t get to have the future I was about to have. I don’t care about any cliche you may have for me. One door closes, everything happens for a reason, God has a plan, etc. No. Why did all of this have to happen? What can be better than the future I was going to have? I felt so unlucky. It all feels like a nightmare and I’m just waiting to feel whole again. Oh shit I got really intense. I know I’ll get over it and life will be good again eventually but for now, I am still so mad. I would have never in a million years guessed this is how my 2018 would go. 
So fine, I’ve accepted things now, so now I’m impatient and say please prove me wrong, 2019. I’m THREATENING you to be amazing!
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Tasked: Ask Meme for BDRP
Sentence Starter Style
“Sadly I’m 15″ “Ah! Phoneee” “oh my god you’re a fucking princess!” “I don’t blame you, but I really think you’re blowing the paperwork out of proportion.” “Would you be open to an alternate route of learning?” “I’ll have to call you back” “You’re no use to anyone sleep deprived” “We have reasonable grounds to enter without a warrant” “Would you be willing to answer a few questions?” “Uhm….s-..sorry.”  “Is that...okay?” “I think there would be cause for concern if you had been” “I think your check book will be thankful that neither of them make onesies. Even if it is a real travesty.” “It’s never too early!” “You ‘ave this natural tone that can come off as…cross.” “You - You gave up on us.” “You look lost” “Well, I can’t exactly say hello to something I can neither see nor hear” “A ghost, of course how silly of me” “We can reschedule this murder for tomorrow maybe” “When you cast a spell your magic lingers” “If you are afraid to hurt her, should that not tell you enough?” “Good. See you on the other side then.” “If you ever send me a text that vague again, I don’t care if it says ‘Help, oh help, I’m dying’, I’m leaving you on read and dyeing your eyebrows pink while you sleep.” “It’s not fucking there!” “We call on the ghost that haunts Phoebus de Martin” “How do you know that?” “You seem young, like, the same age as my TA I dated when I was in uni.” “Your sister is a bad bitch” “When are you leaving anyway?” “Oi, we ready?” “Nah, it wasn’t that bad” “How old is this place anyway?” “I’ve cried like every day for the past three months” “Feel like I have to at least make one a lion” “Joke’s on you, because I don’t know how to play that one” “I’m really bad at cleaning.” “I feel so disconnected.” “That’s not funny.” “I apologize on behalf of the table in the corner.” “I’ve been holding down the fort.” “I can give you – well, anything but my sight, really.” “Unless my sense of smell is going as well” “The traditional ‘Eat a Dick, Shuriki’ Day treat” “I let her dress me as a tree!” “I’m still tragically sober.” “Almost busted your head there...you alright?” “Still doubting me love?” “I’ll be your best bartender in a matter of moments.” “Oh hi, yeah no harm no foul.” “I can only cite temporary insanity.” “Could use a break” “What’d I miss while I was gone?” “I have had quite enough of listening to those men” “You must be mistaken.” “What’re ya doin’ gettin’ dressed and all. Maybe I wasn’ done with you.” “Look…I really didn’ mean t’…” “I’m not the sort to run my mouth.” “Sure it’s real, and I’m rich.” “The hair does match.” “I am more of a home body” “I actually do have a safe room in my basement” “I only 60 percent fake-laughed at this one.” “Wasn’t it halloween yesterday?” “You look like you sleep less than I do.” “Voila. How to survive as a landlocked mer 101!” “Shit’s fucked right now, to say the absolute least.” “I’m sick of secrets.” “Me? Pfft, I’m fine. Pfft. Me? Totally. Why wouldn’t I be fine? I’m definitely fine.” “So sorta yes, sorta no.” “Went for the reeses, came home with a sedimentary rock and a piece of concrete.” “Nothing like two shots of tequila and a few beers to make you feel 100% better about the zombie apocalypse!” “This town keeps you well on your toes.” “oh trust me, none of you want me working here.” “You know you have such a unique aura” “They may not appreciate our boldness” “Is it news that isn’t going to be in the paper?” “Shit, I didn’t grab plates.” “I’m not a fan of that.” “What toppings did you get?” “What ever are you looking for, by the way?” “You remember the um, last unfortunate event?” “Maybe we’ll run into a french bulldog here and I can point them out.” “I want a bag of the gingersnaps, aye?” “Here I thought you were just coming onto me at the gym” “Sometimes cookies can be...more than just cookies” “So which is it: did you want to sell him drugs or did you want to flirt with him?” “It didn’t hurt at all! Just a sting!” “How… sturdy, by chance, do you think they are?” “Which one are you?! What are your favorite colors?! Movies, food, drinks, hobbies, books, BLOOD TYPES?!” “Food rained from the sky?” “You keep telling yourself that, yeah?” “I’m gay, we’re all cynics” “I don’t know what I’ll do with all the space” “Then go…? Back to class…?” “I know I’m pretty amazing. It would be awfully sad to be me-less.” “Are you a protagonist? You look like one.” “Irrelevant.” “I know how to keep ghosts out of the bedroom, thanks” “Just because YOU can't go to rhinebeck doesn't mean rhinebeck cant come to you” “But lovely witches were ten a penny.” “It’s...it’s all for me” “On that note, how do you feel about pumpkin spice cookies?” “They tend to be narrow-minded in their rose-colored perception of our world.” “It’s all kind of shitty, ain’t it?” “I think an army of walking snowmen would be easier to deal with than an army of zombies.” “Don’t tell me about it. I like plausible deniability.” “That is, I never had a reason to cuddle. Until now.” “It’s not- it’s not just guilt” “Fucking hell mate, talk about an entrance.” “Do you think you could talk me up?” “Ye didnae have tae do that” “Maybe not any book” “I’ll take a fun fact instead if you’re so inclined” “Do people still read comics now that there are movies?” “I don’t have to th’ay anything” “Wanna take some deep breaths?” “I think meeting your parents once was enough. I’ve no interest in continuing the charade.” “So, how do you think I should proceed?” “Well I hope I don’t disappoint you then” “I’ve never really figured out how to do it though.” “What’s your favorite superhero movie?” “___ found out didn’t they?” “Well you don’t have to insult your way to the washroom, just so you know” “I have ways of dealing with my mistakes” “Stretch your legs out, stay a while, I get a long day.” "I just straight up have no idea what I wanna study” “I thought the same darn thing!” “So we’re agreein’ to disagree.” “We’ve got that ‘people pleasers’ look, yeah?” “Does it hurt too much?” “Honestly? I don’t know why people put that much effort into decorating so early.” “it’s working great. Thank you.” “Fuck–sorry, sorry. Not focusing.” “The worst people never look scary” “No bruise no foul?” “Sounds like bullshit t’ me” “Better…better to b-be early th-then late“ “But life’s shitty enough as it is.” “Do you do those things for you?” “Hopefully you’re free. If not - then cancel your plans.” “And we can’t let all these special snowflakes dictate what we do, hm?” “I love a rich, full-bodied taste.” “And would you be willing to teach me?” “Yup, just fine. Thank you. Nothing to see here.”  “He’s not around, so it doesn’t matter.” “So is there a theme to this whole shindig?”  “So I guess I’m not basic.” “I see how it is.” “Curious is a word for it, yeah.” “So you’ll speak lies? Or avoid the truth? Sounds like a cop out to me.” [text] Well I’m glad my text went to someone with such good taste! “The aftermath has been...awkward.”
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chrliekclly · 6 years
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do you think charlei and dee had sex because they mistook their genuine platonic bonding as attraction? (serious question, steming from thatlesbian dee post). I never thought of it that way, and I'm interested to hear that side !
YES that’s actully smthn i lose my sht abt !! iv blown up ppls mssgs with this kinda talk like, im a mess. ok lemme type right nd lemme type A Lot Again Anyways cz thos 2 giv me Way too many feelings (im spposd to b working on a final rn christ…)
okay…i scrolled back up after finishing nd turns out i went…literally insane…aka Much too far…so i need to under-the-cut it. mobile…viewers…i’m rly so sorry. swipe hard to leap ahead…hell im sorry fr computer viewers too. my theme is rough.
to start, my HCs surrounding chardee are rooted in charlie being on the ace spectrum and dee being gay (or like @ least bi, but imo all the men stuff is straight up compulsory heterosexuality).
i will always cling tight to the deleted scene wherein charlie says he thinks sex is gross and will genuinely get sick when he thinks about it unless he thinks about it with one specific woman. i know he shows sexual interest a decent amount of times throughout the show and has canonically had sex (on camera too, yeesh) but i see each time as very out of the blue moments (coming onto dee @ multiple points while worked up, agreeing to bang tatiana cuz she says to, that kinda thing) or relating to his long standing and delusional obsession with the waitress. in that vein, he’s also canonically enjoyed sex, and I don’t try and blind-eye any of it, because ace doesn’t always mean sex can’t be enjoyed in the moment. charlie definitely has a libido, and bodies be bodies. hell, sex-repulsed can sometimes even flip 180 in the right conditions. shit is one fun spectrum i’ll tell you that…but either way, to start with him, i think him going forward with banging dee was very much a misjudgment of what feelings are and being extremely caught up in a moment where he felt real, genuine, closeness with someone else who he was having a damn good time making terrible poetry with.
as for dee, i, first of all, just agree with everything in that post. in the context of chardee, as much as i will lose my mind in tags about how hard i ride or die the ship, it’s mostly my obsession with their dynamic. i don’t think chardee is meant to be endgame. i absolutely 100% believe that dee, too, is misinterpreting her feelings. i think part of it is her consistent comp het, and the other is she’s never been close with someone the way she has been with charlie, and she doesn’t know what she’s meant to do with it. i think she was similarly caught up in a moment in which she showed her own vulnerability, opening herself up to someone who could easily just ridicule her as she’s used to (”right now? i’m scared”), and she receives support from him instead (”you’re not gunna bomb, you’re gunna do great”). we’ve seen how much dee craves validation, thats her entire thing. i’m not shocked she dropped her pants in this moment lmao. she probably felt her damn heart flutter cuz she got told by someone who she at least somewhat trusts that she really is good, even if she doesn’t think so. the only rational explanation for the feeling associated with that person is that he’s The One right? pretty big leap
just…basically i dont think either of them know what a relationship is.
charlie’s lived nearly his entire life deluding himself into thinking that, 1. he and the waitress have a relationship that is anything other than creepy, and 2. that the warped-ass mess of an image he’s created in his brain for what he and the waitress are to each other is what love is. he thinks he’s making progress in getting close to her when the only thing she’s Ever done pre-s12 is ask him to leave her the fuck alone. he’s never even attempted to look past the waitress before, and the only time he shows interest in other people it’s purely his libido talking. he doesn’t pursue romance, and the one time we’ve seen him do so he was using her to get to, who else?, the damn waitress. 
dee’s lived her entire life having to prove herself to every single person she interacts with, and its familiar to her to getting ahead by using men, usually as sexual objects. i’m hesitant to bring this up on a post wherein i speak on dee’s sexuality because i don’t want to link this trait to it in any way as if its related, but to be fair, dee is as much a serial rapist as dennis is in that regard. the gang are shitty people, we know that. she will get men drunk to have sex with them, or pressure them into it, or trick them into it. she’s not having sex with these men for pleasure, she’s literally doing it for power. it’s absolutely fucked up, but so is she.
when she Is romantically involved, she’s shown to leap headfirst into those relationships and blow them out of proportion on 0 grounds for it. she buys a promise ring for a guy who didn’t think they were dating, it’s implied she’s going to actually go ahead with the brad fisher marriage thing after the episode ends, she gloats about how important she is to a stripper who was literally shame-crying during sex (also? she says “we BOTH wept,” and she can say that’s because it was that good, but i really doubt it). i mean the woman GAGS when talking to men she’s “nervous” around, something she takes as meaning she’s attracted to them? lmao uh???
at this point i’ve probably repeated myself over and over, my brain is on backwards and my train of thought went off the rails years ago. but i’m still gunna retype an old set of tags i found:
i hc that neither of them end up together but they do go through a relationship-ish phase, but dee’s gay and charlie’s okay with that (and always ace in my mind) because they finally move on from their own irrational drives to adhere to what they think is expected of them. i dont think either of them have any idea what a relationship is meant to be and they pathetically grasp at each other because they’re kind-ish to one another and that feels safe for once. chardee may be my main ship but i purposefully backtrack on myself because i know they’re two people who barely know love and have found each other, both as underdogs in their environments, and feel an electrifying Something that they Cant Name wen theyre together, and that something just so happens to be friendship and they don’t realize it cuz they’re doofuses who’ve led really unfortunate lives where friendship and hatred are always intermingling.
i’ve never brought it up here, but i often imagine a timeline of their relationship, because i enjoy the idea of them figuring themselves out through each other, just because they are genuinely amazing (platonically) together, and they get into some of my favorite shit. the thought of late night talks and confessions about their worries and confusion about their feelings while lying in bed, just close because they feel comfortable that way, realizing they can keep loving each other and not force it to mean something it doesn’t, the relief that comes with that, a final kiss that really doesn’t mean anything but thank you, not losing what they had but rather gaining a whole new kind of intimacy, and still getting into absolutely ridiculous situations. maybe dee realizes shes, ironically, found herself with a crush on the waitress and it cracks charlie up. he doesnt mind. he’s finally learned that if he Is going to be with someone it should definitely be with someone who makes him feel at Least half as comfortable as the way being around dee does, and knowing he doesn’t have to make himself look for that, but when he knows he will know. plus, he cant imagine dee pulling that one off. but maybe one day she does. dees gentler around the edges, and she gets butterflies when talking to women, but she never gags. charlie’s a terrible wingman but he keeps convincing dee to let him try. she brings a girl home for the first time and charlie all but backflips in an empty pool that day. they’re still shithats but they’re learning to let that go. people can get better. AA would probably help.
iv gone too far goodbye
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royallyanxious · 6 years
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Concept from your friendly resident roman loving anon: roman breaks his arm and is sad bc he cant perform with a broken arm so the other sides write loads of reassuring and happy comments on his cast to make him feel better (and u bet ur ass he keeps either the cast or a picture of it somewhere in his room to look back on) (you can also bet patton puts a pun like 'its break a leg not break an arm silly' on the cast)
Platonic LAMP
Word count: 1400ish
TW: broken bones
 "I had no ideathat Sides can break bones..." hummed Virgil examining Roman's cast. Smallsmile was tugged on his lips."I have a very weird feeling that my pain bring you alot of satisfaction.” Grunted Roman, leaning his head against the wall in hisroom. Virgil raised his gaze and sent an evil smirk hiding half ofhis face in the shadow of his bangs."That feeling evolves into certitude." Roman sighed.Virgil stuck out his tongue and took a step away, lettingPatton come closer."Oh, kiddo." sighed Patton letting his fingerstravel across the white cast "Why can't you be more careful..." hegently patted the injured hand. Roman growled quietly.
"Hey, Pat be careful, that bone is broken afterall." huffed out Virgil quietly."Would you mind telling me how did it happen?"asked Logan squatting next to the bed. His eyes were scanning the cast as if hewas trying to somehow look through it."Well..." Roman cleared his throat "That waslong and tiring battle. Both of us were blind with sweat which was covering ourforeheads an eyelids. I was barely standing on my legs and-""I was there. He fell off the ladder." cut himVirgil casually earning a death-glare from Roman. Logan snored.Patton's lips curled up but the politely tried to hide it byplaying with the paw of his onesie."I was decorating the stage when it started tremblingout of nowhere!" excused himself Roman "I thought I had this undercontrol-""He was singing When Will My Life Begin from Tangled andtrying to dance..." muttered Virgil."You could have caught me My Imbalanced Romance!""The only imbalanced thing there was the ladder and mayI remind you that I told you to calm down!" groaned Virgil."You could have caught me..." mumbled Roman."I was on the opposite side of the stage!" Virgilslammed his hand again the wall "Do you seriously think I wouldn't caughtyou if I could?" Virgil clenched his teeth and only then the othersunderstood how much he blames himself for this situation. His hand slipped downthe wall. "I’m sorry okay? I really am!” He looked truly heart-broken.
Roman smiled softly.
“Don’t sweat itVirgil, I should have been more careful. It’s my fault.” He re-assured theanxious side and sighed “Too bad the play will have to be postponed… I reallywas looking forward to show it to you guys…” Roman fixed his gaze at thepattern covering his pillow. His painted red nails were a little bit nervouslystroking little golden strings which were decorating each corner of the pillow.
“Hey, Ro…” Patton satthe right side of the bed, gently hugging Roman. “It’s fine kiddo. We can wait.At least you will have more time to learn the script. You got perscripted more time.”
“Yeah… I guess you’re right Padre…” Romansmiled faintly, fidgeting with the buttons of his shirt. The other sides werewatching him cautiously. They knew how important this play was to Roman. He putall the effort into it, planning every step and every detail. “If you don’tmind guys I would prefer to stay alone for a while.” Said Roman finally chewingon his lips.
“You sure kiddo?”Patton tilted his head. He would prefer to keep an eye on the creative side.Logan delicately nudged Patton’s shoulder.
“Let’s give him somespace Patton. Roman needs to rest now.” The logical side said quietly and Romansmiled with gratitude.
“O-okay… If you needanything just let us know…” nodded Patton a little bit hesitantly.
“He can walk Patton. His arm is broken, not leg.” Reminded Virgil,holding the door open for the others to leave.
~~~
“We should dosomething to cheer him up!” pouted Patton, folding arms on the chest, makinghim look like a toddler.
“Agreed. He lookedincredibly upset with this unfortunate event.” Nodded Logan, tapping hisfingers against the table.
“I want to at least try to fix this…” mumbledVirgil.
“You say it’s yourfault one more time and I’m going to physically fight you.” Patton raised hisfinger and pointed it at Virgil, frowning.
“What do people usuallydo when their friends get sick?” asked Logan completely ignoring Patton. Thesilence fell in the common room.
“… Make them get-well-sooncards?” suggested Patton finally.
Virgil pulled up thesleeves of his hoodie, making a hoodie-paws.
“I mean… it is anidea but this is Roman we’re talking about. We can do better than that.”
Logan rubbed hischin.
“How about a chart?”
“A chart?” snortedVirgil.
“Yes, a chart showinghim how many famous actors suffered from having a broken arm.” Nodded Logancompletely serious.
“This one is a littlebit… too original.” Said Virgil carefully.
“We could spell onhis cast!” lightened up Patton suddenly.
“I think you meant “casta spell” Patton and although it would be very satisfactory to heal Roman thisway, I’m not sure any of us is able to achieve that.” pointed Logan politely,adjusting his necktie.
“No! I meant spell onhis cast! I saw it on some movie! A kid had a cast on their legs and theirfriends left cute, little notes on it! Like a magical spells!” Patton clappedwith delight.
“That could...actually work out.” Nodded Virgil.
“Even though from thelogical point of view this action is quite pointless, I  suspect this is something that could makeRoman feel better.” Said Logan finally after few moments of considering prosand cons of this proposition.
“Great! Since we all agree I’m gonna bring some crayons!”
~~~
“Now, Virgil you getthe purple one…” whispered Patton handing the anxious trait one of the colorfulcrayons “I will take the orange one and Logan-“
“I will take blue.”
“But the blue one isbroken.” Whined Patton quietly.
“That’s not of agreat importance if it’s broken or not. I still can write with it.” Loganwithout asking for permission reached for the blue crayon.
“So what’s the plan?”asked Virgil for the third time since they decided to do this.
“It’s easy. Basicallywe wait until Roman falls asleep, slip into his room and write small notes onhis cast. He will wake up to see a lot of nice things and that will put him inbetter mood!” explained Patton cheerfully. He was clearly excited with thewhole idea of sneaking in and out.
Virgil shushed him,peeking through the keyhole.
“I think he’s asleep.”He whispered to the others and gestured them to come closer to the doors. Logantook off his shoes to make less noise.
They crack opened thedoor. Indeed it seemed that Roman fell asleep. His chest was rhythmically raisingup and down and his face expression was much  more relaxed now.
The first one who wrotesomething was Patton. His tongue was sticking out as he was spreading more andmore of orange color across the white cast. Finally he looked at his work andnodded with content. He was done.
The next one was Logan.He took much more time than Patton, thinking twice before writing down eachletter.
The last one who approached sleeping Roman was Virgil. He hesitantly squattednext to the sleeping man and with a little bit shaking hand, scribbled fewwords on the edge of the cast. Taking one small glimpse at Roman he quicklybacked off.
Roman yawned and lookedat the clock, hanging on the wall.  Hehad been sleeping for two hours. The empty feeling was still aching him fromthe inside but at least he wasn’t so tired now. He wanted to get up, find therest of the sides and maybe eat something when his gaze fell at the white masscovering his arm. Only that now it wasn’t completely white.
Roman moved his armcloser to his eyes which almost immediately started filling up with hot tears.
“These guys…” hemumbled to himself “These guys are something else…” he said to himself readingthe small noted once again.
“It’s break a leg, not break an arm silly!” with a small drawing of a puppy next to it.
“I would love to remind you that I improve that saying. Fracture a femurRoman. But not literally this time.” Written with blue.
“…I hate both of these equally. Get well soon Princy.” Written in purple.
 “These guys aresomething else…” smiled Roman, the feeling of emptiness in his heart was gone.
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