#they both like to fuck VERY DEEP

[psalmsofpsychosis]

The Average Alfred Pennyworth Portrayal: *is Bruce Wayne's capable and somewhat cryptic butler*

Gotham!Alfred Pennyworth: *threatens an 11 years old boy to eat his dinner proper because if he doesn't he'll be too light in weight by the morning and the Balloonman will come for him and will tie him to a balloon and send him to the skies to die because he's rich and corrupt and forever guilty*

#not to be dramatic on main but i'd die for Gotham!Alfred he's clinically insane #and he's exactly what Bruce needs they're so fucking toxic together (most affectionate) #like you look at Gotham!Alfred #and suddenly it's very understandable why baby Bruce turned into a bucket of feral ferrets the way he did #god i love them both so much they's so!!!!! #they grapple with each other and have their teeth sunken into the back of each others' necks so deep and it's pure affection and love #and it's honest and trusting but it's not kind #fucking delicious dynamic Gotham's Alfred&Bruce saved me actually #they're sewn together by the spine and they both suffer for it #alfred pennyworth #Bruce Wayne #Gotham #Gotham TV

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

guy who so desperately tries to find god. who wants to have faith in a higher authority to guide him out of the hole he's in. from the weight of guilt from simply existing, as the person he is. but every time he thinks he's answered his higher calling it turns out he's made the Morally Incorrect choice and his path to goodness and holiness was the road to the devil all along

#now trusting god will give you a way out? there's your real crime!!! #guy betrayed by the protestant promise of a direct connection with god. but is also somehow. joan of arc. #see he never achieves actual martyrdom tho bc he's not allowed to stay dead lmaooo #sam somehow the most unintentionally catholic AND protestant character of all time #dean the atheist who sees religious predestination as the curse it is from the get go. framed as the narrative's Real Moral Authority #but also in the process reifying patriarchal familial power n authority. very very important Value of the Church #i don't think it's that deep. the show's attempt at critiquing christianity. but the way it reinforces christian cultural values??? #'religious predestination and absolute faith in a higher authority...bad' #nice nice ok tell me more? #“so you should put your faith in family. in your patriarch (big brother)” #????????? #the thematic incoherence of it all. it's like the world's stupidest puzzle box to me. i can't leave it alone. #sam = maybe i can find god thru following my destined path. wait oh shit. #cas = maybe i can find god thru rebellion and seeking my own destiny. wait oh shit. #dean = god is fucking dead and me i also feel not so good #the “guy who so desperately wants to find god parallel” <- me coming out as a secret sastiel fan #both of them...finding god in de-[sniper on the roof kills me in one shot] #spn bible studies #j.txt

[heartbeatbookclub]

I was looking at a few posts about autism (as one does) and it just suddenly clicked into place a fundamental thing about Yuri's character that I'd been grasping at, but hadn't really been able to adequately identify. I still have a much longer and more thorough analysis going through a whole lot of my thoughts on Yuri's character and her experience of autism that i'm working on (of which this will likely be a component), but I thought I'd share this separately just to emphasize.

Post I saw which made this click for me was making fun of the fact that most media depicting impaired empathy in autistic characters explicitly depicts them with this unflappable confidence of never having been rejected by people they love. The crux of this is that in actual reality, autistic people almost always have that experience at some point, for some behavior, for reasons they don't really understand. "There is an invisible line where people will get sick of you, and you have no warning of when you're about to cross it." So frequently, autistic people attempt to ride a razor thin edge, walking on constant eggshells to desperately attempt to avoid crossing that line.

Very often autistic people will attempt to avoid doing anything at all which could be considered weird, or off-putting, and will try their absolute hardest to do things in a way that is acceptable to other people, sometimes to the point of outright suppressing their emotions, because they are afraid that they'll say something just wrong enough that the people they care about will push them away, and they don't understand WHY it happened, but they know it's THEIR fault. Sometimes masking is fighting to appear aloof all the time because you can't regulate your emotions in a way that is acceptable to other people.

And holy fucking Jesus, that fits the exact mold of what I've been trying to talk about with the particular way Yuri's anxieties manifest.

It really feels to me like Yuri has this constant fear of breaking the "rules" of socializing, despite not really understanding what those rules even are. She's constantly afraid of saying something wrong, when she doesn't even know what wrong would be, she's just sure everyone ELSE will know it when they hear it. I think a huge part of her social anxiety comes from her own understanding of herself as a very weird person who doesn't really get a lot of how to socialize, and it seems to me like she's probably dealt with her fair share of social rejection and isolation based on those traits. She then felt she had to take responsibility for those traits, probably because it's the one thing she can change, and she is the one common denominator in all of these bad situations (This is something which is pretty common, actually! "Everyone else can socialize just fine, and I have so much difficulty with it! I must just be broken in some way. I have to try super hard to be normal to make friends!")

I think a big part of why it's so apparent in the Literature Club is because she really thinks she's found a place where she can make friends in spite of all of her issues, so when she starts...being herself, and receives even the smallest HINT of pushback, she overcorrects and tries to rein all of herself in to fix her "mistake", because she really wants to make friends here, and doesn't want them to reject her as well.

She's had this experience of others pushing her away for being weird so often that, coupled with her acknowledged trouble for reading situations, when anybody responds poorly to something and she recognizes it, she immediately overcorrects out of fear of being an annoying burden to everyone around her, and that "correction" consists of suppressing herself into being "normal" (or at least "less weird"), because she believes nobody could actually like her just for being who she is. There's something wrong with her fundamentally, and to make friends, for people to like her and want to be around her, she has to "fix" herself.

it's just, like...

it's really hard for me to interpret Yuri's character that doesn't involve her being somewhere on the spectrum, bros. she's written with such delicately constructed autistic coding, despite the appearance of just being a hackneyed weird girl visual novel trope. she deserves the world.......

#related which i'll hopefully talk about in my bigger analysis piece; #i think it's really neat how sayori & yuri's particular kinds of neurodivergent thinking clash in understanding! #like id say sayori is big adhd energy (might talk about that at some point) & deep in the anxiety hole #& yuri is very much autistic with a lot of obvious anxiety #& despite the fact that they clearly relate to each other a lot and have a lot of the same self-destructive thinking #the conflict in understanding is the huge misunderstanding that they get because of the way they both present themselves to each other! #& sayori has a lot of issues which yuri misinterprets as her not liking the book because of her own issues! #& yuri has a lot of issues which sayori misinterprets as sayori's stupidity discouraging yuri because of her own issues! #despite them both trying to tell each other that that isn't the issue at all in different ways. until yuri finally breaks down #& SAYORI BRIDGES THE GAP BETWEEN THEM BECAUSE SHE'S THE GOAT #GRAAAHHHHH I HAVE SO MUCH TO FUCKING SAYYYYYYYYY #ddlc yuri #ddlc #doki doki literature club #musings

[welcometogrouchland]

My take is that hunters new hair is okay (not terrible, not great) but I'm mainly into it because I think it ABSOLUTELY implies an emergency "oh god oh fuck I'm a clone I need a sense of individuality STAT" haircut and I could not be happier at that implication

#the owl house #who knows! maybe it's not that deep! #but maybe hunter ran into the calen statue in gravesfield and was like. Oh Fuck This #anyway i hope the new hair grows on me with time. i was hoping for hunter dying it/growing it out #but in all fairness caleb had grown out hair at hunters age and I've always liked the idea of dyed hair hunter- #-more than any actual look I've seen of it #so this was probably one of the better ways to go #he looks very polite. same with Willow's new hair #she doesn't have the loose strand anymore! #i hope they both go apeshit in some scene and get their hair mussed up. i hope they go to fight belos and come out of it- #-looking like bruce willis in die hard. #ramblings of a lunatic

[bonebabbles]

I remember when I was reading DOTC when I was around 10, and ever since Misty died I had been waiting for the moment where Birch and Alder learned about her murder, how everyone in their lives has kept it a secret. And then it just didn't happen.

I also remember obsessively re-reading the part where Quiet Rain blows up at Clear Sky.

Birch and Alder are two characters that are just so...

I WANT to say they were forgotten about, but that word doesn't feel right for how they're constantly showing up on the screen. Clear Sky occasionally feels guilty about how he murdered their mother, but for the vast majority of the time, that's described in passive voice. So you're not reminded of just HOW cruel he was, and still very much is.

It's like they're not allowed to be characters.

Like, how does Alder feel about Clear Sky, who seemed to be acting as an adoptive father until he beat her as a child? How did Birch respond later, when Clear Sky was so busy thrashing his sister that he was threatened by a dog? How do they feel about the man who took their mother away from them?

They keep getting cited as "Good Examples Of Non-Campborn Cats," dodging around the fact they were stolen and raised by Petal. Like a lot of the other "adoptions" in the series, she quietly stops mattering to them. But even this fact... like, they're being OTHERED when they were functionally raised SkyClan.

How do they feel about THAT? That their earliest memory is SkyClan, and yet, they'll never be considered truly, fully "clanborn."

Their whole life taken from them, by Clear Sky's cruelty, their formative years spent in his violent shadow, and the narrative is just not interested in that.

#birch wc #alder wc #I see a lot of people calling this arc So Very Interesting #Begging for more of it #but like... the more I think about this arc the more I hate it. #Both reading it and the deep dissatisfaction that settles over me thinking about how much potential it wasted #All sacrificed on the altar of Sweet Brother Love or whatever was going on there #Even people who go 'oh it was so exciting' like... when. did we read the same series #the entire thing is clear sky causing problems and then no one is allowed to react violently to them #because that makes us Just As Bad #what was interesting about 3 books of the moor cats doing NOTHING as clear makes the plot happen #And another 3 books of Clear just being a bastard and everyone feels bad about hating his guts #And here's Birch and Alder who have never really been explored ever #because it would require them to fucking hate the guy who ruined their lives #it doesn't JIVE with his exoneration arc. so it cant happen

[puppyeared]

Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..

#I’m reading volumes 14-16 of the ouran manga OOUGHHH MY HEART #I love this weird little friend group so much its unreal #like u have this charming sweeps you off your feet prince but he’s actually a huge lovable idiot with a kind heart and his friends #who are all misfits that he reached out to and drew in because of his kindness and own weirdness like that shits TIGHT BRO #and the trauma part where he has some deep seated issues with love bc he thinks that itll break a family apart like with his mom #how his family isnt allowed to be together because his mom and dad fell in love and how he says he wants to build a big house #so that way one day everyone will get along as a family like. all he wants is not to lose everyone and the only way to do that is #by maintaining a certain order.. he both wants a complete family so bad and doesnt want anything to sour between anyone #so he assigns each of his friends a family role based on how he sees them and YEAH its mostly played for giggles and tamakis #already weird so its his way of showing theyre close to him but. god damn this boy has LAYERS #it also feels kinda meta towards how found family tends to get thrown around to assign characters as 'siblings' or family roles instead of #using it to describe characters who are close enough to be each others family. cuz tamakis doing that EXACT THING in a way tht #ties in with his character and i have to say its fascinating using that within the story itself and its completely plausible #theres a lot of things i can say about ouran that are good bad and questionable but. god i love it when characters are niceys to each other #i remember i really liked the kyoya episode bc him and haruhi got to spend time together and their relationship isnt very close #but it was really nice to see their personalities bounce off each other. i think i also wouldve liked to see haruhi alone with kaoru #i also firmly believe all of the hosts are at least a little in love with haruhi and this can be anything like endearing romantic cuz like #who DOESNT love haruhi. kyoya i think would want to study her under a microscope like his fascination with her draws him in #but im fucking obsessed with whatever haruhi and tamaki have going on because YES hes obsessed with her YES he jumps at the chance to #put her in a cute costume but haruhi? she just fucking goes with it because she knows hes fun to be around even if hes a little wacky abt i #theyre all so. NNGGHHHH #ouran #ohshc #yapping

[oatbugs]

Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art. #you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea? #if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

[forestfan69]

You fill the room with sun, hold me close and let me breathe. I am foreign to that kindness.

.

.

.

Some soft moicy, featuring my latest obsession which is to cover everything in flowers. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed drawing it!!

Closeups:

This piece is also available on my INPRNT, if anyone wants to buy this for themselves!

#moira o'deorain #my art #overwatch #overwatch 2 #moira overwatch #ow2 #angela ziegler #moicy #mercy overwatch #moira x mercy #I love these two sm #anyway I really like the idea of Moira being someone who has a lot of emotions that are bottled up deep within her #and for whatever reason it’s very hard for her to show a lot of them #bar anger and whatever emotion can be associscated with her condescending ass attitude #but when she’s in the right environment and with the right person #she can just slowly let herself unwind #I imagine they both have alot of built up emotions #but Moira especially is like fucked UP emotion wise #I’d be very suprised if in ow2 pve she DOESNT have some sort of breakdown #cos that shits impending #anyways rant over sorry guys 😿😿

[camgoloud]

you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups #and the later regrets of the parties involved #anyway. tell me not to text her #it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength #she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life #and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever #going to get back #and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔 #the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that #really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you #felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way #instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’ #and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out #so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃 #i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least #we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she #like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have #said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc. #it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me #and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person… #caseyposting

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

okay weird q incoming but what ways do you think speedsters can get sick? Like to my understanding, they can’t really come down with normal virus’ like the flu, right? But they could get things like chronic migraines?

NANOBOTS!!! This is one of the best pieces of canon lore ever. I did a whole post on it but TLDR: normal human metabolisms have so much shit going on that they don't even notice nanobots in their body BUT speedsters have hyper accelerated metabolisms that are the equivalent of the straight A's overachiever in school on meth. So speedster metabolisms do notice nanobots and they attack full force, triggering all of the body's defenses and responses.

But the nanobots are metal so it obviously doesn't do anything. It just leaves the speedster lethargic, feverish, vomiting, dizzy, with a headache, sore muscles and a runny nose, ect. It's basically an allergic reaction.

Now, poisoning them can work depending on what the poison is/what the dosage is. You would need a 100% fatal poison and you would need a fairly high dose. Because speedsters heal fast and they have a hyper accelerated metabolism, so any poison that is based on toxicity (alcohol poisoning for example) would be out of their system faster than it could even take effect.

But poisons that can't be cleared out/processed by the body (take cyanide for example, it binds with the chemical receptors in your body making it physically impossible to use oxygen) wouldn't really be affected by their metabolism at all. So while the speedsters could heal the damaged tissues from these poisons fairly quickly (making it seem as though they were only slightly affected) they would ultimately need time to do so, time they would not have if it kills them first. This isn't technically what you are asking because there would be no substance that 'makes them sick', there would only be 'fine', 'not fine for like a minute and then fine again' and 'dead'. (... unless they were hooked up to a steady supply of the toxin)

Likewise, (this is getting more into theoretical territory, less canon) there might be some illnesses that would affect them? Not for long but if you got something super fucking fatal like Rabies, it might make them display mild cold symptoms for a day or something.

I don't know though. They have really fucking good immune systems. And even super fatal diseases can be fought. Take my example of Rabies, while it is commonly thought to be 100% fatal once symptoms show up there actually have been cases of people surviving it. Rabies is a very stealthy and fast disease, so the main problem with treating it is that your body's immune system isn't fast enough to stop it. People have survived by being placed in medically induced comas (slowing their bodily functions and thus the disease) for long enough that the medication can eradicate it. So for a speedster? That's gone in a minute tops. You would need an insane disease that I'm not sure even exists.

There's also like... pregnancy and menstruation. Growing pains, muscle pain from running is a BIG ONE, being dehydrated/starvation, blood loss, ect. Lots of ways to fuck with a speedster in a way they can't immediately fix.

There are also speedster specific ailments. It's basically 50/50 if a natural born speedster gets a weird highly fatal aging disease. Sometimes speedsters can be born without a kinetic energy shield which makes using their powers at all incredibly fatal to them. All speedsters will have connectivity issues at some point that can be fatal. Sometimes Time Gets Bad™ (shout out to when Barry kept chronically stealing time from people/things every time he used his powers). Sometimes they have too much energy and can't maintain human form (shout out to when Wally didn't know what the speedforce was and was accidentally cosplaying Ghost Rider). Velocity 9 is a highly addictive drug that works on speedsters and makes them display typical addiction behavior (and withdrawal). V9 can also cause a speedster to 'overdose' (burst into flames/lightning/energy). They all have the constant urge to yeet themselves into the speedforce. Ect.

#here's the thing: they are made of speedforce but its not a skin deep thing. you feel me? like their CELLS are made of speedforce #so all shit still affects them #i keep saying that they don't need oxygen or food to survive and thats true but its only if they're actively compensating with speedforce #cause they can get energy from the speedforce or they can get energy from oxygen and food or both. they can't do neither #and they don't really *know* or understand that theyd be fine with JUST speedforce energy. they still think they need oxygen and food #so if they were suffocating or something they might instinctively crank up the speedforce to compensate but they're also very stupid #so they might just die. idk it really depends on who it is how much they know and how much SF they're drawing on #cause like... energy beings need energy yo #i hope this makes sense #the muscle pain one is interesting cause Wallys early runs are really big on the whole hitting the wall thing #he would hit a wall that he physically couldn't break through and it caused him a lot of pain. #some of that was not being hooked up properly cause Wally wasn't hooked up properly until he was an ADULT #because he is FUCKING INSANE and he just went 'huh i guess this is my limit and i will stay below it' liKE AN INSANE PERSON #anyway some of it was SF issues and some of it was mental but he actually got really really hurt anytime he got close to the wall #REALLY bad muscle pain. and like... it was potentially extremely fatal. 'breaking down your body into little bits' fatal #he doesn't get that anymore because hes properly hooked up now but jfc that man treated 'entering the death zone' like it was #the high score to beat at his local arcade. he took it as a fucking challenge. absolutely insane dude right there

[symbiotic-slime]

would you guys be interested in venom/the magnus archives crossover fan art

#I wanna draw the guys as avatars #also I think it would be a fun challenge to try to make Venom visibly an avatar of the hunt #because they already look like that #but I have ideas for the others :3 #venom #venom comics #venom movies #the magnus archives #I’m going to elaborate in the tags because I can #so Eddie is 100% an avatar of the corruption #and is also the type of guy who willingly became an avatar #he’s so deranged he would be enthralled by the wasp nest in his attic #he would be a victim of the lonely though #like especially comics!Eddie #because his bond with the symbiote is so deep that like. being singular sends him into a depressive spiral #flash is an avatar of the slaughter #but he’s not deranged like Eddie his was more of a result of his situation #like being a bully and then joining the military #very slaughter coded #and yes he’s made up for the bullying so I’m not sure how that would play in?? but he still does have some anger issues #he’s a victim of the web #like one the alcoholism is classic web #and two being manipulated. like the whole agent venom arc where he was essentially being blackmailed by jack olantern #venom is a manifestation of the corruption #an avatar of the hunt #and probably also a victim of the lonely #like I think the idea of being alone as a being who’s whole purpose is to bond and connect with a host would be devastating #recently I think they could probably also be a victim of the desolation given that everyone important to them keeps fucking dying lmao #I’m kinda second guessing myself with flash because he’s just so damn normal like he doesn’t revel in war but I also want to give him one #do any of my followers know both of these. if so please help me out I’m struggling with flash 😭

[cantspelldragoonwithoutgoon]

restricted area

#or: w...what if we kissed and held hands in the restricted library... and we were both fucked up wizards #good evening i am very deep in these specific cups again #finally they can hold hands....claws... #(i built my elf an older and more tired wizard to snuggle in haunted libraries from spare parts i found on the sidewalk) #that one AU from the void #gpose #wol x elidibus #eclaire yes like the dessert #i cannot think of a caption meme-y tags is all i have

[ctrl-lupin]

Yes, I would be very interested hearing your head canon (@tim-ribbert-56) (in response to this post)

I have decided for my personal entertainment that Clarisse de Cagliostro is related to Lupin III, and here's why.

-pulls out Arsène Lupin's Wikipedia page-

In the novel La Comtesse de Cagliostro, a young Arsène Lupin (at the time going by the name Raoul d'Andrésy) was courting Clarisse d'Etigues, a young lady of a well-to-do family, and trying to win her hand, despite her father's disapproval.

Throughout the course of the novel, Lupin meets and falls in love with Joséphine Balsamo, aka the Countess of Cagliostro, and abandons Clarisse in favour of her. To clarify, Joséphine is not actually countess of anything, she is (or claims to be) a descendant of Giuseppe Balsamo aka the Count of Cagliostro (who was also count of jack shit), a famous conman from the 18th century.

Shenanigans ensue, which I will not go into in details on, but oh my god I am insane about Raoul and Joséphine, I want to dissect them and study them under a microscope. It turns out Joséphine aka Cagliostro is evil as fuck, Raoul/Lupin realizes that and goes back to Clarisse (whom he had previously abandoned like an old sock, I fucking hate this guy), marries her, and a few years later has her kid.

Unfortunately Clarisse dies in childbirth, and Joséphine, who was still around and very very pissed at Lupin (and jealous as hell of Clarisse whom, may I mention, had never personally antagonized her in any way whatsoever, Joséphine is just fucking bonkers). Joséphine also kidnaps Lupin and Clarisse's son, Jean, and raises him as her own son. (I have not yet read the following novel The revenge of Cagliostro so I don't really know what Jean's deal is, I just know he's an antagonist).

The following is my headcanon, based on these events. In the universe of Lupin III, Joséphine Balsamo was actually countess of the small kingdom of Cagliostro (maybe Giuseppe was count, maybe he conned his way into becoming count, maybe he bought the land and built a fake kingdom with a fake history, who knows).

After the events of The revenge of Cagliostro, Jean settles down in the country of Cagliostro, gets married, has a child, and that child will later have a daughter of their own, who they name Clarisse, after their late grandmother. Clarisse de Cagliostro, of Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro fame, would thus be the great-grand-daughter of Arsène Lupin, making her Lupin III's cousin/niece/whatever you call this specific degree of separation.

I am choosing to make Clarisse de Cagliostro a great-granddaughter of Arsène Lupin, rather than a granddaughter, because Arsène Lupin was very young when the events I described unfolded: he is 20 years old when he meets Clarisse d'Etigues and the whole Cagliostro debacle happens, and 25 by the time Jean is born. I'm assuming he had Lupin II much later in his life. So Jean and Lupin II (half-brothers) would have a significant difference in age, and so Jean's hypothetical child (grandchild of Arsène Lupin, so of the same generation of Lupin III) would be much older than Lupin III. Clarisse de Cagliostro is younger than him, maybe around the same age if you stretch it, so she's have to be a great-grandchild.

Now I need to read The revenge of Cagliostro and study Arsène Lupin's wikipedia page in more detail to determine when exactly Lupin II was born and who his mother was. And also where Albert's family branched out, because the fact that he's called D'Andrésy should theoretically place him as a descendant of Arsène Lupin's mother but not of Arsène Lupin himself; but Jean was also going by that last name, so who fucking knows.

No I am not insane I promise, I am just a gigantic nerd.

#i have very mixed feelings about Papy Lupin Original Flavour #cuz you see in the first books he was pretty much like his grandson #a charming little bastard; smug as hell but also charming enough to make up for it #like. an ego the size of the eiffel tower but it's highly deserved #if he robbed me i would just thank him #you wanna punch him in the face but like. lovingly #then around The Hollow Needle he started acting weird #and after that his ego grew into a god complex the size of the eiffel tower and he just lost all the charm #like. just a huge dick honestly. #i thought that was a logical evolution after (SPOILER FOR THE HOLLOW NEEDLE) his wife got brutally murdered in front of his eyes #mere HOURS after they got married and he gave up his whole career as a thief for her #which would be an understandable evolution #but no he's also retroactively an asshole in The Countess of Cagliostro which is a prequel #i guess leblanc just decided 'lupin's a dick now' #which sucks #but on the other hand it's very funny to kinda hate-read The Countess of Cagliostro #i was honestly rooting for Joséphine for most of the book #she is fucking insane which is exactly what raoul/lupin deserve #you know that Mountain Goats song 'no children' ? #'hand in unloveable hand; i hope you die i hope with both die' #or that post that says 'i don't ship them they're too toxic / well i hope they kill each other mid-fuck' #well that's me with them #just reading on to see how many more life-ruining decisions raoul can bodily throw himself at #also leblanc did joséphine dirty!!!!!!!! #LET MY GIRL BE EVIL FOR GOD'S SAKE #none of that 'her fragile feminine nature' and fainting after murdering someone because deep down she can't bear her own cruelty #what the fuck #let her be genuinely unhinged!! let her bash raoul's head in with a meat hammer!!!! #(yes that is something that she tried to do) #anyway. justice for Joséphine Balsamo. god forbid women do anything

[lyxchen]

I looked at the songs for the new Mean Girls musical movie and.. why did they leave out all the songs that show Cady's feelings or emotional development?? Like... It Roars? More is better? Do this thing?? These are some of my favorite songs!!

Also I saw that they made a new song that probably replaced It Roars but I listened to it and.. it's really not the same (in a negative way)

I also heard the new version of Stupid With Love and I am so sorry, I'm totally fine if they decide to make changes to the songs but this is just. No. Because this version of the song is so not Cady. She is this little weirdo who for the first time falls in love and has such big emotions and doesn't really know how to handle them but also this crush makes her really happy and the new version just smashes that into tiny pieces and glues them back together with a weird rythm and music that is supposed to be slow and romangic but just really doesn't fit with the lyrics at all. Like I'm sorry but you can't say calcu-lust like that. You just can't

Both of these songs on the new album lack the absolute extatic excitedness Cady has for a lot of the musical which are a big part of what makes her a really lovable character in my opinion and they're also just all around very fun songs!! So to take that away and Also take away two other songs that show her inner world just makes me kinda sad :(

#also they cut Both of damian's songs :((( #they were so FUN and especially where do you belong really helps with showing us the new world cady got into #i am especially pissed about more is better #like i Love that song!!! #i really like how it showed us cady's view and why she acts the way she does and also how deep down she does still miss her old home #also i just want to say #i haven't seen the movie yet and i am so excited when i'll finally be able to #because i am very sure that overall it's a great movie #but i still feel like they could have kept at least one of those songs in #and also why the fuck would you ever change stupid with love like That??? #mean girls #lea's random thoughts #well anyways #rant over #also edit #i just listened to cautionary tale and it's better than the other two songs i have listened to but #overall i just feel like this song and the other two too lack the Musical aspect of it #they are so downplayed like they are afraid of being too big and colorful and musical-y #i haven't listened to ther other songs yet because i want to keep them for when i do watch the movie so i can't judge that #but so far i feel like the songs are being held back by trying to be more like pop songs instead of you know.. musical songs

[matchandelure]

i fear that the undercover top secret government assassins are growing on me (cp9)

#I HAD ZERO THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM AT FIRST #IN FACT I WAS DEVASTATED THAT THE WATER 7 QUARTET WERE ACTUALLY CP9 #BUT THEN??????? I READ CP9'S INDEPENDENT REPORT AND. I!?!??!?@?!? #the thoughts are endless ive been having one piece dreams every night for the past few days and they have all been cp9 related the brainrot #is so bad. i am sodgjkadhg #i love one piece there are so many characters with each new arc i get to i get some new characters to obsess over i love it i feel so alive #ive been fighting tooth and nail avoiding spoilers for the latest episode BUT GOD IM SO SO TEMPTED TO. TAKE A PEEK #anyways last night i was once again doing a wiki deep dive and i found some silly things on cp9's pages #JABRA AND LUCCI ARE THE SAME HEIGHT!!!!! THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY #CAN YOU IMAGINE?!?!?! the kid you've had beef with since he was 13 (maybe even earlier since lucci alreayd knew him when he was 6) who you #used to have a whole head over is now at eye level with you i would actually be so embarrased #KAKU IS FROM EAST BLUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS OS IMPORTANT ACTUALLY!! THE MOST IMPORATNT FACT EVER!!!!!!!!!!! #so he knows the strawhats are...also from the east blue right?!? right??????! and ik the wg steals these kids early on to train them so i #doubt he has lingering attachments to his home sea but i still think this so both so so sad and so important :'(( #also not getting over how oda's depiction of tiny kaku has him holding a toy boat BC ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?! ARE YOU K IDDING ME #kalifa and jabra's favourite dishes are both lamb based!!!!!!!!! silly because her animal motif is a sheep haha #BUT ALSO considering how her father was also cp9 and she's probably been conditioned since birth to also follow his footsteps and how jabra #holds seniority in the current lineup id like to think that these two have known each other a very long time and there were influences #the most dysfunctional fcked up family ever. cp9 #blueno and jabra are both from the north blue!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that one falshbakc we see that the two of them plus 6year old lucci trained #together but also it would be so fcked up if the two actually knew of each other before being roped into the governemnt #idk how the wg works do they just??? routinely scout around and pick up a bunch of kids ata time???? were jabra and blueno taken together?? #also wondering if ... kalifa jabra and kumadori knew each other the longest as fellow agents or soemthing #i feel like im entertaining a gazillion thoughts all at once its so hard ot balance but we know both kalifa nad kumadori have #parents in the governemnt/assassin profession that also influenced them right #idk maybe one thing they can bond over #cp9 to me is just a fucked up family of some sort. they are not found family they are like some weird forged family where they were all #forced together and somehow made it work and they all love lucci and care for his wellbeing enough to raise all that money to get him to a #doctor and they cared about each other enough to get off enies lobby together without leaving anyone behind and they went cafe hopping and #shopping and bowling together and they all care for each other in their own way

[keirametzbrassknuckles]

Stale, self-critical, and needlessly bitchy take BUT AUs are no good unless they preserve the aspects of the characters that made the pairing so compelling in the first place. Otherwise literally go and write a piece of original fiction and spare me having to scroll past it. It's not even a case of "he would not fucking say that" at that point and more of a "who the fuck even is that?" and it's annoying

#i say this as someone who writes So Many very specific niche AUs that nobody cares about #but like the fun of an AU is seeing what the characters will do if put in an unfamiliar situation #like I'm fucking sorry but Ghost would never be a hot farmers market daddy #it completely obliterates every recognizable thing about his character #Geralt of Rivia on the other hand would ABSOLUTELY be a hot farmers market dad #and putting him in such a situation is both believable and compelling #like its 100% not that deep and write whatever you want obviously and I'm also super guilty of this too