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flowerflamestars · 3 years

Note

okay i’m still obsessed with your idea of nesta and tarquin together!! would you mind giving us a little more on that, like how would they first interact, what would nesta think of him, all of that? thank you so much!!!! 💚💚

I would love to!!!

The important thing to remember about the Tarquin Draft is that is has the same main story as Daylight: Nesta in Day, Nesta the Library, Helion’s grumpy best, best truest friend ride or die companion.

So Nesta doesn’t actually meet Tarquin again until she’s halfway to okay. It’s plotwise timeline closest to where she is in the most recent chapter- feeling at home in her body, really hitting her stride as Librarian, gaining a reputation as just an absolutely formidable force who helps anyone who asks.

There’s been correspondence between the Library and Summer- Nesta, acting as a go-between for Kallias- but remember, no one uses her name.

So it’s a big surprise when the Librarian arrives in Summer, pulls down her black and gold hood and...there is Feyre Archeron’s face, like a nightmare. Except not- wearier, sharper, older, devastation and salvation like the sunrise after a storm at sea- Nesta, who laughs in Cresseida’s face when the Princess of Adriata calls her a Night Court spy.

Nesta: wouldn’t that require belonging to the Night Court? Try my baby sister, if you’d like to yell about idiotic plans. Where are the books that keep eating people?

Cresseida is so wary, but Nesta, of course, isn’t actually going to leave before handling the cursed trove some Summer sailors pulled from the sea. She’s the Librarian.

Tarquin just...doesn’t want this. Doesn’t want to be proved inexperienced, that he can’t act for his people’s good by a beautiful woman again. But Nesta aggressively wants to help, and ultimately, he lets her.

And Nesta acts nothing like Feyre.

She takes off that cloak of office (listen, I’m picturing like, the coolest wide-legged, sleeveless white linen jumpsuit that has EVER existed, chic but functional), puts on a sunhat that she...magicked into her hand? and stomps into the shallows. Starts pulling sailors souls out of the treasure and hauling them to shore.

It’s terrifyingly efficient. And listen, Tarquin doesn’t give a shit about rank, so he, after some very blushy surprise because no, he did not know he had a competency kink and Nesta Archeron has tiny adorable little freckles on her shoulders- gets in the waves to help.

Nesta doesn’t even look at him.

What she does is save the lives of twelve of his men, pick up the faintly hissing, utterly cursed chest of books that started all this, and ask Cresseida is there’s a room where she can work.

So they take her to the palace.

The beautiful ambassadors rooms, windows and silk and the sound of water.

It becomes clear that the curse is in fact, just a curse, but one that can only be broken under the full moon, which is two weeks away. So Nesta stays, being the only person who can keep that magic from spreading. The only payment she wants is to take the books back when she goes which leaves Tarquin, arms full of the traditional gift of pearls, VERY embarrassed.

But he gets over it. Tarquin is genuinely chill- he has baggage from the weight of his responsibility, of being fooled by the Night Court- but he’s also so, so young. Kind. Curious. He doesn’t want to judge Nesta on the actions of people related to her, and once she proves herself, he doesn’t.

And meanwhile Nesta is like, cool. Cool, cool, cool- I can’t sleep while I’m here, I can’t winnow home and sleep because the Library can’t suppress a curse from hundreds of miles away, I’m not going to steal the books like a fucking thief in the night like Feyre-

So Nesta does a lot of exploring.

Tarquin comes into the harbor one morning, pink still streaking the sky. He’d been up in predawn doing Manly Boating Things with his navy- he walks through the harbor, lets the sounds his happy people sooth the rush of magic that still surprises him- to shape the sea, to cease the waves, to bend the world, to call the tide- and goes looking for breakfast.

Instead, he finds Nesta.

In line a line waiting for fresh bread and pastries, in another insanely attractive white outfit, looking at the sky. She’s alone- he’d given her guards, servants, knew damn well Cresseida was watching her- holding a basket, drinking coffee with her free hand.

So Tarquin joins her.

It cannot be overstated how genuinely charmed they both are with how normal it is. No death and war between them. No magic drawing them together. No real history- Nesta isn’t Feyre in the slightest- just a man with salt drying in his hair and a beautiful grin, asking if he can buy Nesta breakfast.

Just Nesta, and the only High Lord she’s ever met besides Helion who isn’t aggressive. As she says, Nesta has as many problems with High Fae men as they tend to her- the siren song of power, challenge called to challenge by her very primordial being.

And listen, Tarquin is a huge, very physical dude. Summer faeries are touchy, in a friendly way. But he also, like Helion, is smart enough to pick up on how screamingly uncomfortable men make Nesta. He doesn’t know why, and noticing it made him feel a little sick- but he’s careful. Kind, funny Tarquin, whose managed in knowing her just a few days to figure out how to approach her without triggering her.

So Nesta says yes. Nesta probably says something snarky as hell about his High Lordly hospitality.

And Tarquin laughs- genuinely, beautiful.

He’s still laughing when they get to humble little window, and Nesta goes still.

Tarquin clocks it- handles what they’re doing, gets Nesta out of the line of people without unnecessarily touching her. He sort of thinks she’s having a panic attack?- finds a nice quiet bench under a tree. He’s also pretty sure he’s making it worse just by being present, but he’s not going to leave her alone like this- so Tarquin just like, sits on the ground.

Which startles Nesta. She looks up- he doesn’t know her well enough to know what’s going on, so he’s extremely confused when Nesta goes: why is she here?

Tarquin: ???

Nesta: the HUMAN

There’s part of Nesta thinking the worst possible scenarios- what her past and the Night court taught her.

But Tarquin just like, blinks? Sets down the pastry bag on the bench for Nesta and is says well, she was shipwrecked. A whole passenger ship from the continent last summer- she was going to the North, to start a new business. But she liked it here, and decided to stay.

Nesta: that human woman, owns a business? Here.

Tarquin, who’s starting to get what is happening here: Yes. She’s a Summer Court citizen.

Nesta eats a pastry. Nesta, face wry, eventually hands a pastry to Tarquin, who’d seemingly decided she needed them more than he did. Tarquin wolfs it down in three bites, just enough time for Nesta to grumpily confess: I’ve never seen a free human, above the Wall.

Tarquin, haltingly, shyly is like: well, I want it to be different. We all share the same world. Acting like we’re not all the same is how Hybern almost took over-

By the end of the sentence he’d managed to look up. That was the voice a High Lord, a man who had power and would use it.

So they have this truce, a spark of very real, pretty damned charmed interest. They walk back to the Palace across the whole city, talking.

The next day Nesta is deep in working Librarianing while she’s there- and Tarquin just pops up. Draws as little attention to himself as possible to be like, here. I noticed your hat blew away yesterday? So I brought you a new one. And some coffee. Do you like it cold? Don’t let me get in the way, what you’re doing is important.

What he means by important: incredible.

It had taken him ages to find her, because Nesta is apparently spending her spare time- does she sleep??- winnowing all over his territory, solving any problems anyone asks of her, bringing books to schools. Talking to regional leaders about what their educational needs are. Chatting with sea monsters so the fishermen understand they’ll be totally safe, so long as they always throw back in that one kind of crab that the baby krackens exclusively eat.

And look, it is a coping strategy. Nesta CANNOT rest by the sound of the sea- but she’d also realized this kingdom her sister had fucked with had been hit so, so hard by Amarantha, and then the war. That she can help, so she will.

But she just kind of stops. Tarquin left as quickly as he came she’s just there like- coffee. hat. BEAUTIFUL RESPECTFUL MAN. It’s not the vibe of her and Helion. It’s flirty but not...pressing? It’s nothing like how any faerie man (see: Cassian) who wanted her has ever, ever treated her and it’s just...so, nice.

He’s nice. Gorgeous. Easy to be around, which Does Not Happen to Nesta ever.

Nesta breaks the curse and leaves.

Keeps her promise to the schools, visits to sit on the shore and talk to sea monster babies, so much more prodigious now that they have enough food.

Tarquin thinks she’s amazing, and he starts writing to her. For real Lordship reasons, but also just to see what she’ll say- he wants to know how humans live. How his cities could integrate them. Can they use magic? Will they, if it’s available to them?

Tarquin finds someone- witty, beautiful, so intriguing- who believes in the value of his most difficult dreams. Nesta finds someone who looks at the most fraught, hurt parts of her- humanity lost, a terrible human life, that she still, even now, asks herself sometimes if she can belong, and treats those things as important and integral.

And they fall in love.

It’s a story about a lot of things- Nesta, who drowned to become, learning the whole seas of world will still for her, protect her. Tarquin who does revolutionize his kingdom, and spend centuries counting Nesta’s freckles as they peel and disappear.

Love of choice. Nesta, in the sun, being adored. Tarquin, who so many people think is foolish, a reckless dreamer, defended by the most loyal person on earth.

There’s small details i love so much it makes me want to go to the extremely troublesome work of writing them their own story- Nesta inviting the mermaids from the Night Court waters to live in a place no on is afraid of them. Tarquin who is both sort of a golden retriever but ALSO a proud, petty bitch when tried, draping Nesta head to toe in rubies for inter-court events.

With Tarquin the story really embraces the idea of eternity- of possibility. They’re young, they’re equals in this eternal life. There’s so many years ahead of them, so many things they can do: they have time to go slow, to make changes, to learn each other inside and out as they become the people they want to be.

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soradragon · 4 years

Text

Prank full of love

Dwalin here! Woooo!! changed my style a bit to fit with the type of genre this is, this is a comedy x reader fic. I’m very proud.

Also, thank you my sweet @deepestfirefun for helping me out! And Thank you my beta reader for helping me out! I love you!

Warnings: cursing, shirtless dwarf (wink wonk) and fluff with a sprinkle of angst

Dwalin x F! reader, mentions of bagginshield

Check out my main masterlist if you liked what you read and wanna read more!

If you want to be tagged in the upcoming fics don’t be afraid to ask me! ^^

Please, if you liked the story leave a little comment to let me know you liked it!

Anyway, enjoy^^

~~~~~~

"You..!"

A deep, threatening and rough voice bounced against the walls of the passages.

Not much further ahead was a woman, pushing a man of what looked like a high status to the side. She was running like a madwoman, fleeing from what people would think; the devil.

That woman is you. Yes you; surprising, isn't it?

What did you do to get yourself ending up in this peculiar predicament, you probably wonder?

Well then, no need to look further nor to scroll down to nitpick every sentence in this story to make even the slightest sense of what's going on in this world of chaos. It shall all be explained right here and now!

If you didn't care nor wonder what, how, and why this all happened, then too bad! You have no power over this story! Haha, take that!

Ahem, anyway...It all happened at a feast around midnight before all this chaos came to be.

*(*)*(*)*

Fili and Kili dragged you with them. The blonde prince led the way as the younger brother pulled you with them.

They had been spouting stuff about "the greatest idea ever." and "going in the history books for being the legendary mischief-makers." Or something like that. You didn't really listen, like at all, only perking up and paying a biiit more attention when they mentioned 'you' and 'food.'

Were you getting an all-you-can-eat-buffet?

Aww, such sweethearts! They shouldn't have.

Weelll, you did deserve it, after all. Going along on this journey and defeating a dragon is not an easy feat. They should make you an entire statue while they're at it!

Yes, one right next to the entrance so all visitors and passers-by could see you and know of your magnificent and heroic deeds.

You mentally patted yourself on the back. The look on your face was a mix of smugness and pride.

But you were forgetting one small itty bitty detail (or two) in your only sliiightly intoxicated state:

You weren't the sole hero who slew the dragon. You already got your fair share of the reward: a high status in the kingdom - a place in the High Court of the company who went on that dragon-slaying quest - and a luxurious comfy home included. And not to forget the gold you were promised. Thorin also offered work in a high place in the kingdom like a royal scholar or something, but you gracefully declined. You liked working in the toy shop with Bofur and Bifur - so...no statue for you.

But you didn't remember that.

You snapped out of your daydreams when Fili softly helped you to sit down on your bed.

How did you get here in the first place?

"Are you alright Y/N?"

Fili or Kili, you don't know which one as they looked the same to you at the moment, wiggling in front of you with their two clones.

When did they become a quadruplet?

"Y/N?"

Oh yeah, you still needed to answer them.

"...'M fiiinee."

You managed to slur out with difficulty, sleepiness slowly taking over. The brain cells were already going to bed, leaving behind a heavily drunken brain to operate the whole system.

What could go wrong, am I right?

...A lot.

*(*)*(*)*

"Ugh, stupid hangover..."

You moaned, resting your chin on the edge of the bucket pathetically.

You felt like you died and came back to life again, moaning over a bucket you desperately tried not to look into, for you knew the meal you had yesterday would not be a pretty sight.

At least you could tell what was up and down...yay for you...

You didn’t forget that you had somehow convinced Fili and Kili you were really fine and totally not wasted. How was beyond you, and you were not in the mood to figure it out.

Maybe they were also drunk or just took advantage of your pickled state. Yeah, they would do that to guilt-trip you into going along with their prank. They knew you never break a promise, even if you made it in your totally half-sober state. They were too cunning for their own and others’ - mostly others’ - good.

Anyway, somehow (not surprisingly) without knowing what you were getting into, you had nodded along with everything they had said.

You vaguely remember Kili or Fili tucking you in and saying goodnight.

Note to self: Never try to win against Bofur - or any dwarf for that matter - in a drinking match ever again.

You chastised yourself while staggering towards your wardrobe. How late would Fili or Kili pick you up to set his prank in motion? You didn’t even care which one it was - you hated them both at the moment...Okay, who are you kidding; you would do the same thing again in a heartbeat for either of them. And of course, they would give poor little you the hardest and most dangerous job to fulfil... Great. Just peachy.

Sigh.

Let's get this whole shenanigan over with, dammit. They’d better sing tales and praises about you once this is over.

Not long after you put some clothes on, The two brothers barged into your chamber, loud and boisterous as ever. How they both could be so lively in the morning (with probably a hangover too) was beyond you.

"...Stupid dwarf genes..."

You mumbled to yourself as you let the two princes drag you to the training hall with their arms hooked around yours on either side.

You felt dread pool inside your stomach as you got closer to the training hall.

Now, normally you loved the training hall. After all, it was the front row seat to a heavenly sight of young warriors and their amazing muscles being put to use in a workout. Not to forget there was one dwarf in particular who you just loved to watch while he flexed his muscles by throwing other dwarves around.

But right now, you feared it with a burning passion, for that place was undoubtedly the place where you would meet your inevitable doom.

"Don't worry dear Y/N, it's gonna be fun!"

Kili spoke up happily, seeming to notice your unease Oh, how you would love to give him the big finger. But knowing Kili, he would drop you for the fun of it and make a whole drama show out of it, gasping and acting like a stereotypical blonde rich girl, one who just overheard the most scandalous gossip about herself. You cursed yourself for showing Kili how to be a true drama queen. (Prince, in his case, but you get the point.) The traitor uses all those tricks against you every chance he gets. You could just kick yourself for being so stupid to show him the ropes. What's worse is that if you would put Kili in a dress he would be the definition of a diva! How he does it?

No one knows!

Why couldn't you just say no and walk away?

"Because you're too nice to leave your favourite dwarves hanging, Y/N. You promised you would help." Kili said. Technically, your autopilot did, not you. Unfortunately for you, Kili was right. You wouldn't leave him hanging.

You glared at Kili and the stupid cheeky grin he gave you. You would have rolled your eyes at him if that wouldn't hurt as much as it did, so you decided to roll your eyes mentally instead.

Wait...did you just say that out loud?

"Yes, yes you did."

"Fu-"

*(*)*(*)*

After what seemed like ages Fili and Kili had finally managed to drag your miserable self to the big wooden doors of the training hall. You had given up the struggle after the longest ten minutes of your life, deciding to formulate a master escape plan before you would reach the training halls. Unfortunately for you, it was too late. You threw your carefully thought-out plan down the drain when Kili accidentally slammed the door against the wall too loud when he kicked it open with his boot.

Still having his arm looped around your's, mind you.

Everyone and everything quieted down for just a moment. Heads turned towards the entrance where they were all, no doubt about it, greeted with a comical sight.

Fili and Kili, obnoxious as always and wicked smiles on their faces (and everyone who even remotely knew the young princes, grasped that the two were up to no good.)

dragged a very anxious looking you with them. One would guess you were about to be sacrificed as a dragon's dinner. Which you were, in your opinion.

"Come on Y/N, time to teach you how to disarm opponents," Fili said, leading the way to a part of the area where a couple of young dwarves were thrown on the ground by one dwarf in particular, one you came to recognise as the hottest and grumpiest dwarf in all of Grump Town. And oh boy, you were not ready to get destroyed by him, and you showed it, too, pulling and protesting and cursing at everything that lived.

How you wished you could tell people that you managed to free yourself from the boy's grasp and run for the hills.

Sadly, that wish didn't come true; God hated you or something, for Fili and Kili - those little rascals - managed to push you right into Dwalin.

You didn't know if Dwalin catching you was a blessing or a curse. What you did know, however, was that you most definitely were blushing, if your burning cheeks were anything to go off of.

Dwalin was shirtless... His strong, hairy arms encircled your waist delicately, and you were practically pressed against his chest...

Against his strong, warm and bushy dwarven chest.

The scent of sweat, smoke and a vague hint of cookie dough entered your nose, and it strangely made you feel at home.

You were a goner, yep completely gone, nobody's home. Come back later or leave a message after the beep for Y/N dot exe has stopped working and took a vacation to cloud nine.

Sadly, your cloud nine had been sucked away too quickly by the dwarf himself who put you there in the first place.

Dwalin, being the grump that he is, grunted at you and pushed you back on your feet as if you had burned him!

"Rude much," you grumbled once you managed to keep your balance, dusting yourself off.

Dwalin (the ass) only grunted in return. Him and his damn grunts.

You ain't special enough for him to form a full sentence for you, now?

Fine, if he was gonna play it that way then, you were gonna give it to him back tenfold.

Screw consequences, the dick deserved this. You were gonna go all out.

You turned around and stuck your tongue out like a real child woman.

Fili and Kili started to giggle behind you, getting quiet real quick when they saw Dwalin glaring daggers at them.

You marched towards the two princes, whispering four words as you moved past them.

"Let's do this shit."

The boys definitely heard you, for their grins turned wicked.

One glance and you knew what was about to come. If being the two princes’ guinea pig for pranks with poor Bilbo the entire journey taught you anything, it would be to recognize the twinkle in their eyes.

It spoke in volumes louder than any dragon could roar; chaos was about to unfold, both in their brains (as they looked each other in the eye) and soon, in reality. You looked slightly over your shoulder.

Yeah, they were scheming alright, communicating with that brotherly bond they share or something.

Watch out Dwalin:

This. Is. War.

*(*)*(*)*

ShitshitshitshitSHIT!

Oh, how you came to regret tripping Dwalin up. In your defence, it wasn't your fault that he couldn't take his dark eyes off of you when you pulled your shirt off because the heat was getting too hot to handle.

Wink wonk.

Hey, at least you wore a white undershirt. One which clung to your breasts tightly. Yeah, that'll give him something to look at.

Anyway!

It wasn't your fault, either, when Dwalin marched towards you with purpose in his steps when you bent over to grab a dagger off the ground, showing him your assets in the process.

It was his fault, really! He should've noticed that Fili and Kili were waiting for him to stand on the grey X. And now you were running for your life with a very, very angry dwarf (who was covered in white glue and colourful feathers) on your heels. Thanks for everything, Kili. Thanks for shrieking out, "Y/N planned it!" The moment Dwalin glared at them...

The snitch.

You pushed dwarves to the side as you ran for your life, screaming sorry as you went, because you are a polite gentlelady. Dwarves watched you go with wide eyes, confused as heck as Dwalin stormed past them not long after.

Most of the time, you were glad they made the hallways mainly one straight line, but now? You cursed its existence and its creator.

There was unquestionably no doubt about it that Dwalin would catch up. Curse you and your hate of exercise.

You should have taken Gloin's offer of jogging with him when you had the chance, but Bombur's pastries were too tempting to pass up on at the time.

And now here you were, fleeing like the devil was behind you, with burning lungs and protesting legs. You were afraid to glance back; you could almost feel your pursuer’s breath go down your neck. You silently prayed to all the deities above and beneath you to help you out, and it seemed one took pity on your little mortal soul. For the moment you finished your prayer, you were rewarded with two things: two dwarves carrying barrels, and a small corridor you almost missed if it hadn't been for someone came out of said corridor.

You took the opportunity without hesitation and slammed against the two unexpecting dwarves, who dropped the barrels in surprise. You managed to slip past them before the barrels hit the ground - like freaking Indiana Jones - skidding through the corridor with a sharp turn.

Without a second wasted, you pressed yourself against the wall like a ninja on a mission and held your breath. This was the moment of truth. There were two possibilities: either Dwalin wasn't fooled by the stunt, or he runs right by you. You prayed for the latter.

Lo and behold, for your prayers have been answered again! The deities really loved you at this moment, or just had lots of pity for you.

Dwalin ran past the corridor.

You let out the biggest sigh of relief in your life Patting yourself on the back, you turned around with a smile... Only to come face to face with the king of the mountain. The smug-ass had a knowing smirk on his face.

Shitpopcicles...

"Why are you so out of breath Y/N? You look as if a warg was on your heels." the smirk faltered as Thorin rubbed at his chin as if he were thinking.

The grin returned tenfold. "Is a certain dwarf chasing you, perhaps...?" His voice was teasing; he dang well knew why.

Oh, how you wished you could smack that smirk off his face, but sadly that was not a good idea. The bugger knows about your crush on Dwalin and teases you often.

He found out about it during the journey and he had always put you and Dwalin on watch together.

He shipped it, you just knew he did.

You pointed a threatening finger towards him. "Watch out, boy." You were close enough to Thorin to be the only one allowed to do something like this.

"Or this little lady won't hesitate to tell the whole damn mountain and a certain someone that you have a crush on a certain hobbit."

His face stayed the same - stoic and not moving - but you saw it at his softly reddening cheeks that your suspicions had been right. You grinned victoriously at Thorin, who stood there without uttering a word. Serves him right! Now you had blackmail. Internally, you were cackling evilly.

Your body froze while Thorin opened his mouth to speak. You felt as if Hell had just frozen over for that's when you heard it:

"You...!"

It sounded like thunder rumbling. Deep, rough and threatening. You would have totally been turned on if you weren't scared for your life.

Dwarfzilla was coming...

Without noticing it, you pushed Thorin to the side and ran like a madwoman. This is how it all happened. Now you're all caught up, so let's continue.

Fili and Kili had better sing tales about you after this.

You turned many corners and hallways, zooming past Dwarves who flushed themselves against the narrow walls in haste as you ran past them.

Some of them called out to you, but you couldn't hear what they said; Being chased doesn't really give you the time to stop and listen to what they had to say, now does it?

At one point, you began to notice the path becoming disproportionate and rough. Stones stuck out of the floor and walls. You tripped over a couple of those, those little buggers. Soon, it was as if you weren't in a hallway anymore, but in a cave instead.

Dwalin had been calling out to you after a while of running through the cave-like hallway. But the thing was, he didn't sound angry anymore.

He sounded worried, desperate even, which was very much out of character for Dwalin, to be honest...

Sadly, you hadn't had the time to realize why Dwalin acted the way he did before you dropped down a hole in the floor with a yelp. At least you found out why he was so concerned.

What a great day...

*(*)*(*)*

A short cry reverberated throughout the chamber, and a high pitched voice followed after.

"Could you be more gentle!?"

You glared at Dwalin, who like always, grunted his replies instead of talking like a normal Dwarf-being!

Though he did what you asked and rubbed the ointment on your bruises more gently, which felt like heaven on your sore skin...

You felt absolutely stupid, sitting on a wooden bench with Dwalin treating your bruises and wounds. (Oin was too busy to do it himself so he shoved ointment in Dwalin's hand. The other was holding you at that moment, for Dwalin wouldn't allow you to walk yourself. Oin said that Dwalin should do it before promptly leaving.) Dwalin had to pull you out of the hole, though he spoke more words than he had said to you this entire day. You counted that as a victory.

You still felt your heart flutter every time you thought about it: He had been extremely gentle, lifting you out of the hole with both his arms. Cradling you to his chest while muttering in dwarvish. Checking all over your body before caressing the back of your head and pressing it against his shoulder as he held you close. This time, you understood his mumbles: "Thank Mahal, yer safe," his voice was so quiet, wavering with raw emotion;

"never do anything like that ever again, ya hear me."

Dwalin was still shirtless and covered in glue and feathers during the entire ordeal.

Your heart had skipped multiple beats right then and there, cheeks flushed red. You had been trying to process those words the entire way to Oin. Still trying to figure out the meaning behind the words he uttered with such intensity.

You were brought out of your trance by Dwalin tapping on your shoulder, you looked over to see him staring at you, "Lift yer left foot."

You did as he asked, lifting your foot. Dwalin grasped it gently in one hand as he removed the boot delicately. If this was in a different situation, it would have been very intimate. No, wait, scratch that; it's intimate even now, which was not good for your heart, which was doing summersaults inside your chest. Yep, you were screwed...

So badly, and heavenly screwed.

Yet you couldn't find it in yourself to really mind.

Once Dwalin removed the boot and sock, he started to massage your foot with ointment, muttering to himself. "Why did ya let yerself be dragged in the princes' pranks."

It wasn't a question, but you answered anyway, "Those princes made me promise to help them out when I was drunk- don't look at me like that Dwalin! You know I never break promises, even if I made them while I was drunk."

He averted his eyes, stilling his ministrations slightly. "Ya need to learn to say no."

His voice was almost too soft to hear, but you did.

You huffed in return, "I'm getting better at it though! I said no to Fleder-Fledder something when he tried to get me to marry him!"

Dwalin chuckled, "Aye ya did. Ya kicked him good in the nuts."

"Well, he deserved it, I didn't even know him and wouldn't take no for an answer, so I had to make it clear."

You grinned at Dwalin as he shook his head, a smirk on his face.

Your eyes turned soft, remembering how Dwalin had positioned himself between the man and you when the man tried to grab you by the neck. Your hero had glared at the man fiercely, threatening to gut him with his axe if he didn't take the hint and shove off.

The man had pissed himself before he had sprinted off, too scared to utter a single word.

You had hugged Dwalin to thank him and since then, he only acknowledged you with grunts... That was the day before the feast.

Balin had said not to take it personally, that Dwalin needed time to sort himself out. But damn was it hard to not take it to heart.

"Why did you do it?"

The dam broke, spilling your most inner thoughts. Fumbling with your fingers, you stared at the ground, missing the confused look on Dwalin's face. "What?"

"Why did you ignore me after I hugged you?"

You were not gonna beat around the bush with this one. You made your bed, and now you need to lie in it.

"You didn't acknowledge me for three days. Balin said to give you space, so I did. But damnit Dwalin, you ignored me for three days! Why?"

You didn't mean for your voice to crack when you looked him in the eyes. You didn't mean for the tear to slip past. Dwalin's eyes widened in return. Very slightly, but you noticed. He averted his gaze to the ground for a second, placing your foot down gently and then looked up into your eyes.

"I...I got confused," he began, eyes full with emotions, some you couldn't even place. "I got confused...Emotions which I thought I had buried deep down, long ago resurfaced..." you blinked. Were his eyes getting glassy?

"They resurfaced tenfold. I didn't know what to do or think… I didn't think," he grabbed your hand in his delicately, tracing the skin with his thumb, never taking his eyes off you even once. "I threw up my walls in a panic, I shouldn't have, but I did..." he took in a deep breath. "Hurting those dear to me." Dwalin pressed his lips against your hand, it was gentle and soft. Butterflies fluttered inside your stomach.

"Y/N, lass, I truly regret putting ya through such pain. Could you forgive this fool of a dwarf?" He whispered, staring at you with pleading eyes.

You did what everyone would do in this situation.

You hit him on the head and yelled, "you idiot!!" and slapped against his chest multiple times. "I thought you hated me...!" Dwalin grabbed you by the waist and raised you into the air without much problem. He stared into your eyes with passion as he uttered one word.

"Never."

The two of you were only a small length apart. Without hesitating, you closed the distance, pressing your lips against his. He passionately returned the kiss, both of you closing your eyes as you relished the feeling of each other.

Yeah, you were on cloud nine alright. The touch of Dwalin's hands holding you so gently set your skin aflame. You could get used to this.

Parting to gasp for air, you glanced at Dwalin's face. Eyes lidded, and mouth slightly open. You smirked then, leaning in, you brushed your lips lightly against his.

He groaned in return.

"Yer doing things to me, lass," he pressed his head against yours, his eyes soft as he looked at you. "Be mine?"

You only nodded, leaning in for another kiss to seal the promise.

Yeah, today was a great day...

~~~~~

Thank you for reading! And keep soaring high!^^

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#dwalin x reader #hobbit x reader #hobbit dwalin x reader #dwalin #fili #kili #thorin #oin #gloin #bifur #bofur #bombur #balin #bagginshield #bilbo #bilbo baggins #the hobbit #sora's writings

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evax3 · 3 years

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what’s your opinion on parallels ppl like to draw?

sansa & lysa vs Sansa & Cat

Jon & rhaehar vs jon & lyanna

Aegon & Rhaehar vs Aegon & Elia

Dany & Aegon I vs Dany & Aerys

Arya & Lyanna vs Arya & Brandon

Sansa & Lyanna vs Sansa & Cersei

Arya & Cat vs Arya & Ned

Thanks so much for stopping by anon and for leaving this really cool question! I’m such a sucker for parallels and symbolism, so I do have a few opinions about these characters (Sansa, Dany and Jon under the cut – no opinions about Aegon) and had a lot of fun writing them down!! ❤️

Arya

What I really liked, and what stood out for me the most (in the show), is that after Arya accepted that she wasn't No One but indeed Arya Stark of Winterfell and came back to Westeros, she very much took on Ned's appearance. She gets dressed and wears her hair the same way Ned does, and shows confidentially that she takes right after her father, where her being the only one in the pack (beside Jon) who inherited the Stark-look (long face, brown hair, and grey eyes) wasn’t something she was actually proud of as a child.

There are many more parallels between these two (the Baratheon friendship, the dislike of the southern culture and the people at court, their sense of loyalty, …) but what I like most is her understanding of the death sentence and how Arya has internalized Ned's teachings. The one who speaks the sentence must also carry out the killing. It is the opposite of what she is taught by the faceless men and in the end it is also one of the reasons why she realizes that she can never be truly No One. Which, I guess, is why she showed her face to every one of her kills that was on her list of names (at least in the show, but I'm sure it will be similar in the books).

I never thought much about the parallels to Lyanna, except that she also had the typical look from the north and was also much wilder than is expected for a noble-born woman. Probably it is one of the reasons why Ned encourages Arya’s nature instead of scolding her for it. But I think it says more about the relationship Ned had with either his sister and his daughter.

As for Cate I think the most striking parallel is probably their cunning. Which Sansa also inherited from her mother, and Ned unfortunately never managed to master, because he is too driven by honor. As women, all three are underestimated in this world, and yet (and perhaps because of this) manage to outsmart the men around them. For example, when Arya names Jaqen H'ghar as her third name in order to escape from Harrenhal, that was pretty damn clever and something that her mother would have done as well.

Also, and sadly, their desire for vengeance is something that shapes and drives both characters (referring to Lady Stoneheart in the books) too. Because of that, I'm really curious if they will ever meet (if the next book ever gets published) and if there will be any revenge for Arya against the Frey's at all.

Sansa

Just as Arya takes on Ned's appearance, Sansa does it with Catelyn's in the later seasons. I think this is particularly interesting because in the beginning, during her time in KL, she copied Cersei's hair and clothes, and later she copied Margaery’s. It shows her role models at each stage and it's particularly striking that at the end she takes on her mother's look, just as Cersei adapts that of her father Tywin.

Even if the comparison between Arya and Lyanna is drawn much more often, I always found that Sansa and her aunt have much more parallels. The beauty of the two is something that is often highlighted in the story, emphasized, for example, as Rhaegar names Lyanna the queen of love and beauty at the tourney at Harrenhal, similar to Loras giving Sansa a rose at the Hand's tourney. I suspect that for both women this circumstance has led to their intelligence and other abilities being greatly underestimated, if not overlooked, in their very male-dominated world.

Fortunately, Sansa has the chance to evolve into self-empowerment, which I think is the main focus of her journey, whereas Lyanna died way too early to achieve that. She was forced to marry a man she didn't want (Robert), (as was Sansa btw), so Lyanna saw the only way to prevent that in running away with Rhaegar. And I can imagine that early Sansa, the little romantic that she is, would have made a similar decision.

I don't like that many say Sansa acts like Cersei in the later seasons because she admires her. I don't think that's the case at all. Cersei only acts out of self-interest (and sometimes, especially in the books, quite stupidly). Sansa, on the other hand, does what is right for her people. She combines her mother's strength with her father's understanding of the Northerners.

She is cunning as Cate, which is not a bad quality per se, and develops an understanding when someone tries to manipulate her. At the same time, she always has the well-being of her people in focus, which Cersei definitely doesn’t. Which is why I think Sansa is a good queen and is just right to take Robb's place (the obvious choice if she were a man) and Cersei is absolutely terrible at her job.

Jon

I have to say, for Jon it’s almost the hardest to give an accurate answer, because the character (especially in the later seasons) differs a lot between book and show. Regarding the show, I would say that Jon doesn’t have much in common with his birth parents, because he really is the reincarnation of Ned, the honorable fool, as he calls himself. Always trying to do the right thing, even if it goes against his heart’s desire.

Rhaegar, on the other hand, does exactly the opposite in the plot for which we know him best. And even if his relationship with Lyanna is often categorized as incredibly romantic, it is one thing above all: selfish. Show!Jon couldn't be more the opposite.

Jon is a good leader, as Rhaegar was, or at least is praised to be. Both have melancholic tendencies, and at least book!Jon, has a tendency to sarcasm (at least in his thoughts) where it is said about Rhaegar , he often had an ironic undertone in his voice (according to Jaime)

Rhaegar is musical, interested in the fine arts, Jon doesn't really show interest in that. What they do have in common is a belief in something that is more than what the eye perceives. For Rhaegar this means believing in prophecies and such things, and Jon is not atheistic either, even if he lives out his beliefs in the Old Gods less than some other characters. Both of them are highly valued by their followers and I think also for both of them this is a quality that shapes their character a lot.

Still, I have to say that for me the background of Rhaegar and Lyanna's relationship, the consequences especially for Elia and her children, but also for the whole country will always be in the spotlight.

I've already read several metas that say book!Jon takes more after his birth father because his motives and actions are also less moral (e.g. only giving food to the people of the Free Folk who are willing to fight for the Night's Watch – a huge difference to the show version). Still, I would say Jon is more pragmatic than selfish, another area where Rhaegar would have needed to catch up if he’d been given the chance.

Daenerys

Whereas it was more difficult for me to think about Rhaegar's positive qualities in relation to Jon, I have to say that it was easier for me in relation to Dany. This might be because Daenerys is so frequently compared to Rhaegar as a compliment. Not only in her looks, but also with her intelligence, her determination and in the love that her people have for her. Ser Barristan calls him determined, deliberate, dutiful, and single-minded, all positive qualities that also apply to Dany.

As for Aerys, it's also hard to draw parallels. As I said in another post, I think the Targaryen madness is not really madness (being crazy) but more an obsession, whether it's about religion, dragons, or with Dany, her desire to liberate her people. What we know about Aerys, however, shows that he was indeed sick, paranoid, after his captivity. That is something different and not something I see or suspect with Dany.

What I have found, though, are explanations about the young Aerys, which at some points apply to her:

In his youth, while not being the most intelligent, nor the most diligent of princes, he was described as having an undeniable charm. He was generous, handsome and resolute, although somewhat quick to anger.

In the same paragraph, however, it is said that he was vain, proud, and fickle, qualities that made him easy prey for sycophants and sycophants. While Dany is proud, she quickly develops over the course of the story into a person who sees through the manipulation attempts of those around her and is clever enough to avoid them.

There might be a possibility that through a traumatic experience (like for Viserys selling his mother's crown) her obsession finally drives her to take more drastic measures to achieve her goal. However, I think it's unlikely that Dany actually drifts into absolute madness like her father and burns down an entire city without thinking. She is much too reflective for that. Should she actually go completely ‘Fire and Blood’, then I think it will be a very conscious decision, rather than an impulsive one.

#Arya Stark #Sansa Stark #Jon Snow #daenerys targaryen #parallels #parents and role models #ASoIaF #got meta #asks and answers

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non-nu · 4 years

Text

you’re my answer [1] | wonwoo

↠ pairing: actor!wonwoo x manager!reader

↠ genre: secret relationship, actor au

↠ word count: 1.8k

↠ warnings: mild cursing

↠ synopsis: y/n is living out a peaceful existence as the manager of top actor seo jisoo. but all of that changes when jisoo is forced into a fake relationship with her costar jeon wonwoo. thrown together in this bizarre situation, y/n quickly discovers wonwoo isn’t what he portrays himself to be. things get even more complicated when y/n starts to fall for wonwoo.

↠ character profiles ↞

↠ masterlist ↞

“We never should have gone to that hot pot restaurant,” you sigh as you place your phone down in your lap.

“I didn’t think their food was that bad,” Jaebum replies from beside you. You turn to him with a disapproving expression that quickly shatters into a grin when you make eye contact.

“You know what I’m talking about,” you nudge his arm at his widening smile. You let out a short chuckle but fall silent as your mind returns to what you had just been reading. Seeing the worry on your face, Jaebum grows serious.

“More articles are coming out, huh?”

“People are going crazy,” you show him the latest comments on your phone, “Jisoo and Wonwoo have been trending for the whole afternoon. All because of these rumors.”

“You know how it goes,” Jaebum offers some encouragement, “Everyone will forget about it by tomorrow morning.”

“Tell that to Ms. Kim. She’s already asked us to come in for a ‘chat’. I’m going to get an earful and then some.”

Before Jaebum can reply, the door the two of you are sitting next to opens. Jisoo steps out of the practice room followed by her vocal coach, a slightly older woman who is speaking enthusiastically.

“Jihoon is one of the biggest producers right now. You’re so lucky to be working with him,” she gushes.

“Oh really?” Jisoo attempts to inject a modicum of interest in her voice, but you can tell by her expression that she’s losing her will to be polite, “I don’t follow the music industry so I don’t know his work.”

The other woman clucks her tongue and a wistful expression comes over her face.

“The opportunity is wasted on you. I should have gone into acting, then maybe I’d have a shot at a singing career,” she pushes out a harsh laugh and motions in your direction, “Better yet, I should have become a manager. Then I’d get to meet all kinds of celebrities just by driving someone around a couple hours a day.”

Yeah, it’s so great my film degree didn’t work out. The words almost tumble out of your mouth, but you catch yourself.

“It’s a pretty sweet deal,” you reply instead with an awkward laugh.

“Yup, she’s my glorified chauffeur,” the sarcasm behind Jisoo’s comment does not register with the older woman as she lets out another round of laughter. You, Jisoo, and Jaebum all exchange glances as her outburst goes on for a bit too long.

“But you know,” her tone becomes serious as she regains her composure, “would it be too much trouble to pass him my demo when you’re in the studio?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Jisoo places a hand on the woman’s shoulder as a farewell and begins to walk down the hall swiftly. You and Jaebum bid her goodbye as you follow close behind.

“By the way, Jisoo!” she calls from down the hall as you wait in front of the elevator, “Why don’t you bring Wonwoo around next time?”

“Isn’t there another vocal coach in this city?” Jisoo mumbles as the elevator doors open.

Jisoo has already started her tirade as you put the keys in the ignition.

“In the first place, why am I even featuring on this track? Whose idea was it to put that in my contract? And second of all, how much free time does the company think I have anyway? Making me spend two hours a week with that horrible gossip. All she has me do is run scales half the time and the other half she’s asking for an autograph from this actor or that singer. Wasting my time. It’s not that hard to string a couple notes together in the studio.”

“Oh, is it not? Someone should let Park Hyoshin and Sohyang know.”

Your joke breaks Jisoo out of her ranting mode as one corner of her mouth sneaks up.

“I know it’s shitty, but it’s not worth it to get worked up because of that woman,” you reason with her as you merge onto the main road, “If that’s how she copes with the disappointment of never fulfilling her dreams, shouldn’t we let her have that much?”

A brief silence falls over the car and your heart clenches as you realize what you’ve just said.

“Damn. You really said it.” Jisoo says in an appreciative yet slightly shocked tone while Jaebum lets out an extended “ohhh” behind his hand.

At their reactions, you mentally kick yourself for managing to put your foot in your mouth yet again. You quickly back track.

“No, no. I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant…Really, I-”

Jisoo stops your floundering with a knowing wave of her hand.

“We know,” she reassures you, “I’m sure you meant it to be empathetic, in your own twisted way.”

“You don’t have to call it ‘twisted’…” you mutter but relief quickly washes over you at her words of understanding.

“I don’t know why you try so hard to be agreeable. I think you’re much better this way.” She makes the comment absently while looking out the window.

“You’re unique in many ways, Jisoo.” you tease.

“Oh, but I wish I could be there the day someone lets her have it. She will literally implode.”

“I don’t know if I’d wish that on her.”

“Always the pacifist.” Jisoo says in mock disapproval.

“Some people would say Y/N knows to pick her battles.” Jaebum chimes in and you wave an approving finger in his direction.

“I’m saving my energy for the lovely conversation we’ve been called in to have.”

“God, don’t tell me we’ve finally been summoned by Ms. Kim,” Jisoo cries out in exasperation, “Why do we have to get dragged out because people can’t keep their minds from going crazy with wild fantasies? What’s she going to tell me, anyway? I shouldn’t go out to eat because you never know if you’ll happen to run into another actor?”

You and Jaebum brace for the incoming spew of words and frustration.

“In the first place, what’s the big deal? So we ate at the same restaurant. Who cares? People eat at the same restaurant all the time. There were dozens of other people at the place, too. Am I dating all of them?”

“The rumors started more from the fact it happened three times. Within a month.” Jisoo dismisses Jaebum’s words with a flick of her wrist.

“Also because you’re about to shoot a movie together. Literally tomorrow.”

“Even if we were dating, what’s so interesting about that? It’s my business and it doesn’t belong on the front page of a trashy website that mistakes click bait for journalism.”

“In a way, she should be grateful you and your new movie are getting this much media play already,” you ponder as you pull into a space in the company parking lot.

“Any publicity is good publicity.” Jaebum offers as you unclick your seatbelts.

“Let’s get this over with.” You sigh as you head towards the imposing concrete building.

“She’ll see you now.” Ms. Kim’s assistant walks up to where you had been waiting in the lobby. She motions for you and Jisoo to follow her.

“You can wait here.” She speaks to Jaebum who remains seated.

Her heels click neatly against the perfectly white tiles as she leads you to the main office on the floor. She swings the glass door shut behind you as you enter the pristine room.

Ms. Kim is sitting at her desk with a document in hand. She doesn’t look up, but motions for you two to sit in the metal chairs on the other side of the table. The room is thick with silence aside from the occasional rustling of sheets as she turns a page. You’re examining a twisted glass statue on her bookshelf when Ms. Kim finally places the papers down. She clasps her hands together on the table and slowly turns her gaze up towards you and Jisoo.

“We’ll release an official statement in a few days,” she delivers the edict emotionlessly.

“A few days?” you repeat in confusion, “Don’t we want to stop this before things get out of hand?”

“And why would we want to do that?”

“Because” Jisoo seems shocked she has to clarify this point, “Jeon Wonwoo and I are not dating.”

“Well, now you are.”

You both know the severe woman before you is not the joking type, but Jisoo snorts a disbelieving laugh anyway. You’re met with impassive eyes as the two of you wait several seconds for her to clarify or take it back.

“No.” Jisoo returns the woman’s icy stare, “This is absurd. Do you actually realize what you’re suggesting?”

“I do. And it’s not a suggestion.”

You sense Jisoo bristle at that statement.

“Just what makes you think I’ll go along with this insanely unethical plan of yours?”

“Don’t be naïve, Jisoo. You’ve been in the business long enough to know this is hardly uncommon.”

The two continue to lock stares across the table for several heated seconds. With a sickeningly fake smile contorting her face, Ms. Kim continues to speak.

“If you don’t like it, of course you have the right to break your contract. But I’m sure we’d all hate to see you tangled up in court for the next five, six years.”

You’re well aware her threats are not unfounded. Everyone had read the stories. An endless legal battle and a couple vicious rumors could end anyone’s career. And it would be all business as usual for Ms. Kim and the company.

At this point, you can practically feel Jisoo vibrating in the chair next to you, her temper about to boil over. You had seen her mad, but never like this.

She had trekked a long path to get to where she is now, but you sense she could be capable of turning her back on it all just to throw it in the publicist’s face. When she inhales sharply, you jump to cut her off.

“What do we need to do?”

Ms. Kim keeps her gaze fixed on Jisoo a moment longer before giving you a quick glance. Her eyes linger less than a second before she begins shuffling through the papers on her desk.

“We’ll be in touch with more information. You may go.”

“Ok. Thank you.” You stand up in a hurry but Jisoo stays put, fists clenched tight in her lap.

“Jisoo,” you whisper tentatively, “let’s go.”

Her eyes are daring the woman seated across the table to acknowledge her. Having said her piece and gotten the desired response, it’s like the two of you no longer exist to Ms. Kim who continues to review the documents before her.

“Jisoo,” you place a hand on her shoulder, “There’s nothing we can do right now. We need to leave.”

Jisoo could probably sit there all night, she’s stubborn enough. But instead she slowly releases the tension in her body with a shaky exhale before rising to her feet. Her mouth remains pulled into a deep frown as she stomps out of the room in silence.

↠ a/n: wow. i meant to post this sooner but got super busy😖anyway, the next part is underway and our main man will finally make an appearance! i’ll post it as quickly as i can. in the meantime, lmk what you think so far😊thank you for reading 🌻

#wonwoo fic #wonwoo scenarios #svt fic #svt scenarios #seventeen fic #seventeen scenarios #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo #svt #kpop fic

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dwellordream · 3 years

Text

If noblewomen were educated in a harem by one of the qaynahs, they might receive a similar literary education, with the difference that free women received more religious instruction, and were not necessarily educated in singing and dancing. Free women, of course, had a significantly different legal standing in that they had rights beyond the right to life, to which all monotheistic people are entitled under Islam. Above all, a free woman had a capacity for legal action. Free women could act as witnesses and legal authorities (albeit with some significant restrictions), inherit property, and manage it (also with some restrictions). Their marriages could not be contracted without their consent, and they were guaranteed certain rights in marriage, including food, clothing, and shelter (all in keeping with their station), and sexual satisfaction. They were also entitled to freedom from physical harm and property damage. While slave women were not entitled to many of these rights, one of the main and most visible differences between slaves and free women was that the free, pious woman was not entitled to freedom of movement. Both the married woman and the qaynah could be forbidden to leave the home, but it was more common for the married woman to be restricted than the qaynah or the unmarried noblewoman. In this way, educated slave women were more integrated into the male-dominated courtly society than were their free counterparts. Slave women expressed in their poems a profound consciousness of the relationship between their words and their bodies. Their recorded poems nearly always served a purpose. While they were not what we would call professional poets, they made their living on poetry just the same. They were creatures of the court who gained and lost favor as many others did, and their social position depended on their self presentation. Thus their desirability, and hence their security, depended equally upon wit and attractiveness. Safiyya al-Baghadiyya, a twelfth century slave poet, wrote this poem in praise of her own body: I am the wonder of the world, ravisher of hearts. Once you have seen my stunning looks, you are a fallen man. As a party game, qaynahs were often asked to improvise a couplet of praise for anything in the immediate environment such as wine, architecture, other people, and often themselves. This poem is probably an example of the last type, and this poet acquits herself well in both of the categories that mattered, namely physical beauty and wit.

- Marla Segol, “Representing the Body in Poems by Medieval Muslim Women.”

#history #medieval #medieval literature #muslim women #representing the body in poems by medieval muslim women

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hakka84 · 3 years

Text

I still can’t understand the nature of Duchy’s feelings for Kate.

Foreword: I’m not a Duchy/Kate shipper. I liked how her romantic life was depicted, I liked her with Roth, I liked her with Mike (with all the baggage and angst) and I respect the future narrated in the ending. I just wish to understand if what I get from the show is there and meant by the authors or if I’m seeing things. And, in case of the latter, if I’m the only one or others shares my headcanon.

Long meta under the cut.

In the first half of the Season 4, Dutchy’s behavior whenever is around Kate is erratic at best. It’s protective, a bit too much to be healthy, but at the same time he’s very cold and dismissing toward Kate. Only in Dutch Courage we finally understand the reasons behind his acting - because yes, we’re basically told that Duchy was acting around X so to not get too emotionally close.

But he clearly failed. He did became emotionally invested. Because, after he has finally faced his trauma, Duchy allows himself to drop down that wall that built regarding the XO and we see him looking at Kate more and more affectionately. Never, when his eyes land on Kate, are devoid of a feeling - even if the scene is full of humor and laugh, there’s this lingering affection that cannot be ignored. He clearly has feelings for her that go above a simple frienship - especially because that friendship had no time to blossom yet, we will see it more (even if usually in subtle gestures, never “in your face”) in Season 5. Duchy’s hovering and being over-protective might be a result of his trauma and the need he feels to make sure something like that won’t happen again. But. But there’s clearly more, else he would act the same when around and towards Mike. Which he doesn’t. He’s clearly loyal to Mike, as their CO, but not in the same way he displays toward Kate. The only other member of the crew that gets this protective treatment from Dutchy is Bird, toward whom Duchy (and basically everyone) acts like a big brother. Bird is this young cute thing that must be protected at all costs (the fact she’s 17yo and basically taking a 6-months tour to decide what to do next, so she has little to no training, clearly has something to do, but I guess Bird kicks in their protective streak because she looks frail - although they all admit she is strong, and she clearly is considering all the shit that happens to her in S4).

Sorry. Digression. Anyway. Kate is clearly the opposite of Bird. She’s trained, she has plenty of experience, she’s tough. She isn’t the woman that should kick-in a protective streak - and you see it in Buffer’s interactions with her. Buffer approached Kate like a respected XO who deserves his loyalty, both as Lieutenant and person, but nothing goes out of the line. Sure, the crew joke about Buffer’s infatuation toward Kate, but it’s just that (we know that, if there were someone Buffer was infatuated with, was Nav). Kate gets priority, when protection is concerned, as the second in command on the ship, but not as “woman named Kate” per se: she’s a crewmate, she just happens to matter a bit more because of her rank and position on the ship.

Yet, Duchy feels it’s his duty to protect her with the same diligence of a bodyguard that protects a princess, or a very important woman activist who’s been targeted by terrorists because of some reformations she is pushing for. By the way, Kudos for the actor, he manages to convey Duchy’s wish to protect and to shield Kate from any harm - not only physical but emotional as well.

But then you have this:

KATE: You can’t help who you fall in love with DUCHY: Yes, you can.

I’m not sure if this were the intention of the authors, but it feels to me that Duchy speaks for a personal experience that is still hurting him (see how harsh he sounds, if he just believed in it in abstract or is something from a distant past he would sound more... placid). And why would this exchange be included to start with?

Ok, at first it seems it’s there to highlight what’s happening between Bomber and 2Dads and how wrong it is. The main point I believe is actually to give Kate some food for thoughts that will eventually lead her to the breaking point in the S4 finale - especially when later you have Mike claim the same (you can choose who you fall in love). But what if there’s a third level to read here? Is this exchange meant to hint that Duchy is currently in the same situation for Kate nonetheless, where he choose not to fall in love with her and he therefore has managed to switch to platonic one-sides romance?

In this same episode, later, we see Duchy drugged up and he calls Kate “an angel” and acting like a a besotted guy and I don’t believe in the amused explanation given by Swain that it’s all up to the drugs. It feels that those drugs removed Duchy’s inhibitions, the strict control he acts on himself so that he may not let his feelings for Kate reveal themselves. The drugs allowed (of forced him) to reveal his true feelings instead, and he just can call himself lucky because he won’t remember anything - and neither Swain or Kate will likely tell him about it. So the secret - if a secret exists - is safe.

And then there’s the finale, when he sees Kate kissing Mike. He silently steps away, but the look on his face, some kind of mourning, and then how he diverts his eyes. There’s sadness, mostly sadness. I can’t tell if it’s just the sadness for discovering that the person he cares the most for is forced to suppress her feelings because of their job... or because the heart of the person he silently loves belongs to another. There’s no jealousy, but resignation. Perhaps I’m giving the actor too much credit here, but he always pull the “I suffer to see or hear that you’re suffering” look whenever Duchy is faced with a hint (be it a subtle gesture or a word) that Kate is suffering because of her unresolved thing with Mike (as during Mike and Kate’s reunion after the bombing in 5x01, when Mike explains how he felt when he heard about the news and couldn’t get in touch with them to know they were alive).

So. My impression is that Duchy loves Kate in a platonic way and acts like her shadow, protecting her and doing his best to make sure she is safe, with the kind of the generous love of a dog. He wants nothing in return, just see Kate is safe and sound and possibly fullfilled with her life, be it professional and personal. He’s the man who choose to step aside and keep his feelings a secret, wishing for the woman they love to find happiness. But is it an impression or this was what the authors were aiming to? If it’s like this, which is my heacanon, Duchy feels for Kate the most pure form of love: he doesn’t want Kate for himself because he knows he can’t, he wants to be the XO’s second, and to be so he cannot aspire to any relationship with her - his need to protect her and be at her side for as long the Navy will allow him exceeds any wish to be romantically involved with her. Or perhaps he doesn’t even feel any physical attraction for her, she “worships” her (in a healthy way) and he just feels “in the right place” at her side.

Or am I seeings things that don’t exist? Are romantic - platonic - feelings for Kate hinted at or not?

What makes me lean towards the “I cannot have her, my duty will be make sure no one and nobody will harm her”, is how his situation is a mirror of what we saw between Buffer and Nav. Buffer clearly harbored romantic feelings for Nav, she respected her as Nav but as person as well, and was pretty clear with E.T. about what he felt for Nav went beyond a “I like her as crewmate” (so much that he got the “you could be her dad” retort). But then Nav - unaware - tells him he’s a valuable friend so he quietly backs away, accepting that she doesn’t see him like he sees her, and that their friendship is more important than his (eventual) broken heart and disappointment: she doesn’t need to be told that he had feelings for her because she did nothing to encourage him, and he will always be there for her, he’ll be the friend she needs and loves. And yes, when he understands that E.T. is serious, he steps back: E.T. will not hurt Nav so he doesn’t need to protect her from him. Buffer isn’t the most emotional of the group (compare it to Swain), so it’s most left to us to imagine it, but I get that he was fine with Nav and E.T. and he would demand to be a witness in the wedding (although he would be ready to back down and allow Mike the honor), because that’s how Buffer shows he’s a sweet cinnamon under his macho navy glorified combat and security expert.

Now, Buffer and Nav are at the same level (although Nav is higher, rank speaking?); Duchy and the XO no, so the context is a bit different. But there are many similarities, as the two buffers both feel affection for a woman crewmate who happens to be courted/involved with another. They are the most respectful they could be, in such a situation of unrequited romance.

Kudos to the authors: both (if we believe Duchy loved Kate) situations were depicted with the upmost respect. Seldom you see one-sided romances treated this way - no angst, no drama, the man stepping back and not forcing the woman to their unrequited feelings, the man not taking any frustration and broken heart out on the unaware object of their feelings (or like, anyone else).

As far as I can tell, all the romances in the show were good written - we got all the kinds you can get, from “girl/man of the day - it felt like a fairytale until I discovered you’re a drug dealer” to the longer spanning a half a season, the “we must repress our feelings for job reasons” to “I can’t literally control myself”, but all were tasteful, wonderfully nuances and with a decent balance between the two parties involved.

#sea patrol

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theladyofdeath · 4 years

Text

Rags & Riches {5}

Summary: An A Court of Thorns and Roses Fanfiction. 19th century AU. Based on the prompt sent in by @cat5313 All characters belong to SJM, I am just a fan with a plot.

Warning: Mature content strung throughout.

A/N: Oh snap.

Leave a comment to be tagged & tell me what you think! :)

It had been a week since Cassian had managed to get Nesta back to her room unseen. She had woken with a pounding headache with her dusty shoes removed and placed neatly beside her bed. She had still been in her gown, but she was tucked in snugly.

However, she did notice that she had been missing her bracelet and assumed she had lost it somewhere in her drunken endeavors. She tried not to feel too disappointed, considering who had gifted it to her, but it was her own fault.

Nonetheless, the stableboy had taken care of her, even though Nesta only remembered glimpses of their night out at the tavern.

Yet, she had purposely been avoiding him at all costs. Not that she went to the stables often.

When carriages were drawn, she waited indoors until it was pulled up front, ready to be loaded. She did not take Marigold for any rides, unless she was one hundred percent certain Edward was in the stables, not Cassian.

Perhaps it was petty, but she could not face him, not after what she had remembered.

She knew she had drunk far too much, had confessed far too much. She was even certain that, at one point, she had called him handsome.

She had called the stableboy handsome.

And he had taken care of her.

Nesta pushed the thoughts from her mind as she chose an unread book from the master library and trailed through the house.

“Miss Nesta! I have been looking everywhere for you.”

She froze, looking over her shoulder to find Alis trailing after her down the long hallway. “Yes?”

“You have received a letter, my Lady. Also, your father will be leaving this evening, after supper, for his journey north. He wishes you all to have a lovely dinner together in the main dining hall, promptly at six.”

“Thank you,” Nesta said, taking the letter from their maid.

Alis curtsied. “Good day, Miss.”

“Good day, Alis.”

The moment Alis had disappeared around the corner, Nesta broke the seal and unfolded the letter. It was in that old familiar handwriting, the same handwriting she had seen all too often.

My dearest Nesta,

I hope you do not think too poorly of me. You will always have a piece of my heart, more so than my betrothed could ever have. Could we meet soon? I surely hope so.

Nesta was fuming.

He still wanted to meet? After he had led her to believe he would propose, then introduced her to his new fiance? Ha! Absolutely not. Tomas was an even greater fool than she thought to have written her such a thing.

“You look angrier than usual.”

Nesta’s head jerked up to find her youngest sister leaning against the railing at the end of the hall, overlooking the main entrance. “I didn’t see you there.”

“Of course not,” Feyre said, simply. “You were too busy reading whatever that is in your hand.”

Nesta quickly crumpled up the paper in her hand. “It’s garbage.”

“Hmmm,” Feyre said, then brushed it aside. “Excited for our big dinner with papa before he heads up north?”

Isaiah Archeron’s trip to the northern territory was his longest business trip of the year. This year, it was crucial, as they were running low on funds. He typically stayed just under a month, leaving the girls alone with Alis.

Now that they were old enough to raise themselves.

Or something like that.

“I suppose,” Nesta said, Feyre making her way toward her. “I am certain we will be eating a pork roast since it’s papa’s favorite.”

Nesta was not a fan of pork roast.

The two went into the library and sat next to the windows where they could see Elain hovering over her garden.

“Has she been acting strange lately to you?” Feyre asked.

Nesta took a moment to sort her words. Yes, she had, but Nesta wasn’t going to mention it. “I am not certain she is fond of Lord Lucien.”

“I don’t know why,” Feyre began. “He is handsome and kind. Out of all of us, Elain had always been the most excited to marry. At least, that is how it seemed. And, I thought father had chosen the perfect match for her with Lucien.”

Nesta agreed. “She hasn’t said a word about him. I would have thought she would be bouncing off the walls, already making wedding preparations.”

Feyre chuckled, looking out the window at her sister. “Perhaps she’s just nervous. Once Lucien asks for her hand, her entire life will change.”

Nesta mumbled her agreement, but couldn’t take her eyes away from where Elain sat on her knees, plating her newest seeds to some plant Nesta had never heard of.

She wore a dress, although it was hiked up to her knees. It was the only time she was unladylike - when Elain was in her garden. Yet, she still made it all look graceful.

“All I know is out of the three of us, Elain deserves to be happy.”

Nesta looked at her youngest sister and met her eyes, their mother’s eyes, the eyes identical to her own.

And she couldn’t agree more.

~~~~~

Elain loved her garden.

It wasn’t the sunniest of days, but Elain still thought it a great day to plant her chocolate cosmos. She had been waiting for her seeds to be delivered, and once Alis had announced that they’d arrived, she couldn’t wait any longer.

Besides, she loved the peace and quiet being outside in her garden brought. It was just her, and sometimes Alis. Her sisters didn’t find the same appreciation in gardening that she did, which was fine. It was Elain’s thing.

She stood, once her planning was done, and dusted off her hands. She admired the plants that were already sprouting stems above the top layer of dirt and took a deep breath. A few flowers had even begun to bloom, and she found herself awfully proud.

Her garden allowed her to display her talents. She brought life from seeds, created something from nothing.

Once her hands were clean enough, she pulled the note she kept tucked into her dress pocket. After unfolding it, she looked at the simple signature and couldn’t stop her grin.

El,

I watched you in your garden today. You look cute with dirt smudged against your cheek. In my dreams, we live in the countryside and you have your dream garden. You grow flowers, and vegetables, and I always tell you how amazing you are at it.

Which you are. Incredible.

But you are incredible at everything. Surely you know that.

I miss you.

I love you.

I can’t wait to sneak a kiss goodnight.

The note had been pushed beneath her bedroom door in the middle of the night. She awoke at dawn to find it sitting against the wooden floorboards, and found her soul lightening at its words. As expected, they had not seen much of each other since their night together. Their wonderful, amazing night together. Elain had fallen asleep thinking about it every night since. His hands against her skin, the way his breath felt against her neck as he pushed himself inside of her. Every now and then, she caught his eye and blushed, wildly, only earning a small grin in return.

They had to be careful.

But it was so damn hard.

She loved him.

And he loved her.

So why couldn’t they be together?

Then there was Lord Lucien.

He had written to her twice within the last week and she had felt obligated to send a reply, although her heart was not in it. She felt guilty, horribly guilty. He was so kind, so deserving of a woman who found him charming and worthy.

It wasn’t that Elain did not find him charming nor worthy, it was just that someone else had already captured her heart. Then again, she knew that she could not marry Azriel. She knew that she was meant to marry Lucien, was supposed to marry Lucien, would be a great match for Lucien. And, more so, Lucien would be a great match for anyone. He was kind, gentle, handsome, wealthy.

He was everything she was supposed to want.

Everything she was told that she should have wanted.

But everything she wanted was in a man that she would never be able to have.

And at that thought, she slowly folded up the note and put it back in her dress pocket.

~~~~~

Nesta was right.

Supper’s main course had been pork roast.

The four of them ate in silence, unsure of how to fill it. It was always that way when they chose to eat as a family, which was few and far between since their mother had passed. Yet, Isaac thought it necessary, especially before he left for a period of time.

Three butlers stood against the walls, silent after serving their course, waiting in case one of them needed anything. Two of them, Feyre recognized. The young, dark haired one. Azriel, she believed, was his name. And Anthony, who had been around since Feyre was a little girl.

Then there was a third, who Feyre thought she had seen in the stables. After stirring her mashed potatoes and gravy for the tenth time, she looked to the young man and asked, “Aren’t you the stableboy?”

“Feyre,” Isaac chastised.

The man simply smiled politely and nodded his head. “Yes, Lady Feyre. Oliver was feeling unwell this afternoon, so I offered to take his spot during mealtime, just until he was feeling better.”

“That was kind of you,” Elain smiled.

Feyre and Isaac agreed, although Nesta said nothing, staring at her pork roast.

“Have you heard more from Lord Rhysand?”

It took Feyre a moment to realize that Elain had been speaking to her. She cleared her throat, “Yes. He wrote just yesterday, in fact.”

“Ah,” Isaac smiled, setting down his fork. “And what did he write?”

“That he hopes to visit soon,” Feyre said, “in which I replied that he shouldn’t.”

Isaac stared as Nesta snorted. “Feyre, that is rude. You should write him again, inviting him to call.”

“Why?” Feyre asked, completely forgetting about her food. “He is selfish and wants me as a wife because I am beautiful.”

“Conceited, much?” Nesta mumbled.

Feyre ignored her, continuing to stare at her father. “He has not even asked you for my hand so I owe him nothing.”

“He is a Lord,” Isaac shot back.

“He is insufferable,” Feyre snapped, taking a large bite of potatoes. “And he can kiss my-”

“Feyre,” Isaac scolded.

“Hand,” Feyre finished, staring at her father. “He can kiss my...hand.”

Nesta snorted, but remained quiet.

“Well, I talked to Lord Rhysand and thought he was quite lovely,” Elain chimed.

“And what of Lord Lucien?” Feyre beamed. “Have you heard from him?”

Elain’s cheeks turned pink as she hesitated. “Yes. He has written twice since the ball.”

“And?” Nesta asked, as Feyre stuffed her mouth with more mashed potatoes.

“And,” Elain began, glancing toward the butler against the wall before continuing, “he is excited to visit us here again soon.”

“Any mention of a proposal?” Feyre asked, mouth full.

“Feyre, do not talk with food in your mouth,” Isaac scolded. “You know better.”

Elain cleared her throat. “No. Not yet.”

“Shocking,” Nesta said, picking at her food without really eating it. “I would have thought he’d be outside on one knee waiting for you to accept after he charmed you at the ball.”

Elain’s cheeks reddened further, but she said nothing.

Isaac cleared his throat, having already cleared his plate. “As you girls know, I will be leaving tonight. I should not be gone any longer than four weeks. Although, if I am, it means that business is booming and I cannot leave. In that case, I will write. Edward will be joining me.”

Nesta’s eyes shot to the stableboy, then back to Isaiah. “Well, we wish you luck and look forward to your return, papa.”

Feyre and Elain chimed in their agreements before resuming their meal.

“At what time do you leave?” Nesta asked.

“When we are finished here,” Isaac proclaimed. “Alis will watch over you, of course. However, you are all women now and can look after yourselves, no doubt. I expect you to write often, especially if anything goes amiss.”

Feyre grinned, finishing off her plate. “I assure you, we will be fine.”

Indeed, they were used to being stuck at the manor. They had not left much during the last few years, since their mother’s passing.

Isaac smiled and took a look at his three daughters. “I know. I have raised you well.”

Feyre smiled, although she had to admit that her heart wasn’t in it. Everything had been off since their mother died. As she looked at her sisters, she could feel it. They were both hiding something, although she had no idea what. Nor did she care to find out, since she was hiding a secret of her own. She couldn’t wait until her father left so that she could go into town and play cards with the locals.

Once they were done, they all rose from the table and saw Isaac outside, where Edward was waiting with a packed carriage.

Isaac kissed each of his daughters goodbye before he closed himself inside and was off, nothing more than a shadow being erased by the growing distance.

~~~~~

“You have a girl, don’t you?”

Azriel froze where he sat atop his bed. “What?”

Cassian nodded to the pen and paper in his lap. “You’re writing to someone often. I assume it’s a woman.”

“Ah,” Azriel chuckled, glancing down at the ‘E’ written on his otherwise blank sheet of paper. “Yes, I suppose so.”

“A fling?” Cassian asked, kicking off his muddy boots and plopping down on his cot. “Or someone you intend to marry?”

Azriel took a moment to think about it before responding to his roommate. “She is the love of my life.”

“Congrats, mate,” Cassian said, wholeheartedly. He had grown to like Azriel within the recent weeks, since they had become roommates in the servant wing. Azriel was quiet, but he was kind and held no judgement. Cassian tried his best to be the same toward him.

“What about you?” Azriel asked. “Is there a girl for you?”

Cassian chuckled and shook his head. “No. Just my mother and sister back home. I write to them often, although i haven’t heard from them yet this week.”

“Oh?” Asked Azriel. “How old is your sister? Where do they live?”

“An hour’s ride south,” Cassian began. “I grew up in a small village there. My sister just turned seventeen. She has her eye on one of the local farmer’s sons. Although, if you ask me, he’s not worthy of her one bit.”

Azriel chuckled. “No? Why not?”

“I knew the guy, growing up,” Cassian explained. “I know too much about him, if you know what I mean. He’s been with too many women. Loves himself too much.”

“And your sister?”

“Kind,” Cassian explained. “But can take care of herself. Stubborn, just like my mother. Has very strong opinions, which many think women shouldn’t have, but I beg to differ. I grew up in a home full of strong-willed women, and wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

“What about your dad?” Azriel asked, writing on his sheet of paper as he spoke.

Cassian took a moment to answer, realizing he and his roommate had never had a truly deep conversation before. “He left when my sister was young. He was a prick, horrible to my mother. I was eight when he left, but I was glad.”

Azriel nodded, but didn’t reply.

Cassian watched as Azriel wrote his letter to his lover. “What about you?”

“What about me?” Azriel laughed, short and quiet.

“Your family?”

Azriel took such a long time to reply that Cassian almost thought he hadn’t heard.

“I was abandoned as a child, adopted by an older couple. Diana and Renald. Diana was kind, but she was terrified of Renald. As was I.” Azriel talked slow, as if finding it difficult to remember. “He was an ass. He instantly knew I was different, knew of where I had…” Azriel paused, as if having trouble finding the words. “Come from. He treated me the worst. Partly because of my background, I assumed, and partly because I was the only other male. He...abused me. Often. And I ran away the moment I could, promising Diana that I would earn enough to get her free of Renald someday. That I am still working on. But I shall get there, soon. Diana writes to me often.”

Cassian cursed. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Azriel shrugged, not taking his eyes off the letter he was writing. “That’s life.”

Cassian supposed so. Although if that was life, he was certain that life was not fair. He thought to Lady Nesta, when he had escorted her the week before. She had given herself to a man who thought nothing of her, then left her completely alone in their holier than thou circle. Cassian firmly believed that life was not fair, and only they had the power to change such a thing.

“Do you enjoy working here?” Cassian asked.

Azriel took a moment to think. “I would not trade this experience for the world.”

Cassian nodded, remembering his night a week before with the Lady Nesta.

“The Archeron sisters are an interesting trio, aren’t they?”

Cassian swore Azriel tensed, but then his roommate nodded.

“Yes,” Azriel said, quietly, folding his sheet of paper into a neat square. “They are.”

~~~~~

Feyre tugged on her trousers and waistcoat before tucking her long hair into a newsboy hat. The boots in the bottom of the chest at the foot of her bed slipped on easily.

After one last look in the mirror, Feyre stuck her head out of her door to make sure the halls were clear. Once she decided it was safe, she hurried down the hall and down the main stairway. Once she had reached the floor, she tiptoed into the sitting room, toward a side window, where she could slip out and easily reach the ground, knowing to keep it cracked so that she could get back in later.

But she didn’t open it. Just as she was about to, she froze.

Just outside was Elain, hurrying away with a tall, dark haired man, hand in hand.

She was smiling.

It wasn’t until the man turned to look down at Elain that Feyre recognized him.

Before Feyre could fully process what she was seeing, she was running back up the staircase, straight to her eldest sister’s room.

~~~~~

@throne-of-ashes-and-beauty @mariamuses @a-happybird @amusicalbookworm @manoncrochanblackbeak @alifletcher2012 @candid-confetti @fandoms-everywhere-united @mis-lil-red @littlehoneyybee @abillionlittlepieces @impossiblescissorspeachpaper @awesomelena555 @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @tswaney17 @jemma-nessian-and-elriel @rhysandsrightknee @gendryaforthemasses @dayanna-hatter @thebluemartini @welcometothespeaknowworldtour @julemmaes @christiashadows @sleeping-and-books @itsme-malin @agnez312 @cat5313 @amren-courtofdreams @chemica @empress-ofbloodshed @islamonna @illyrianbeauty @sleeping-and-books @queenofxhearts @sleeping-and-books @aedionashryver-wolfofthenorth @queenofillea1 @mynewdreamwasyou @levivlio @hellolenas @burritowithfeels @that-other-pineapple @girl-who-reads-the-books @raghad-50725 @musicmaam @rowaelinforeverworld @negativenesta

#acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #elriel #nessian #feysand #r&r #tara writes

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kate-read-that · 4 years

Text

Second Chances

Here it is!

" So you guys think I can't do it?" Rose asked, her eyebrows arched in indignity "I can't believe, after all this time, you still doubt my abilities".

"Its not about your abilities, Rose, but he's seven years older than us, and he's one of the best Guardians in the world, and Mia was just saying not even you could break the ice around him because of his personality!" Finished Lisa, trying to calm her Guardian's mood because of Mia's introduction.

The water-controller moroi had just finished telling them about the new Guardian in court, Dimitri Belikov, and how he was always so cold and strict. Apparently, Belikov's moroi, Ivan Zekklos, had died while he was on vacation permision, and the damphir had been required by Tasha Ozzera and moved into Court with her.

"I don't think there's a woman here he's interested in, and I've seen plenty trying to walk up to him and flirt in these last five days, but nothing! Don't worry Rose, its not about you" Mia kept saying, unaware of what was brewing in Rose's mind.

"What will you give me if I get his phone number?"

Mia laughed "You wont"

"But if I do?"

"Alright, I'll give you 20 bucks if you manage to get his number" Mia surrendered, entertained. Lissa moaned, indignified, but both girls struck hands and Rose got up from the chair.

They were sitting in one of the restaurants in Court when they had seen Dimitri, waiting for Lucas and Eddie to arrive to order. Just as Rose approached, Lucas Ozzera crossed the entrance door and walked up to them, accompanied by his main guardian, Eddie Castille.

"I didn't know Rose knew Dimitri, he just arrived at court a week ago" said Lucas, surprised.

" How do you know him?" Asked Lisa, surprised. Mia didn't turn around to say hi, too busy paying attention at Rose and Dimitri.

"He's dating my aunt, he's her guardian now and they are a couple as well... Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Fast! Tell Rose to leave!" Lisa moaned, panicking.

"How? She's facing the other way! I cant exactly goup to her and tel l her!" Mia was about to do just that, thinking of coming up with some dumb excuse, when Rose sat at the table in front of Belikov.

"Is anyone going to tell us what's going on?" Lucas asked, confused, while sitting next to Lissa. Eddie had the same face, except he sat facing the entrance door and looked around from time to time to stay vigilant.

All them watched the other table, expectant and afraid.

-----

Rose walked up to him, thinking of a dozen pick up lines that would get him a guy in a pub. But this was not a pub, and that guy was a living legend, so she decided to start simple.

"Hey, you're Guardian Belikov, right?" She said, trying to keep her voice friendly but sweet.

"I'm sorry, I'm a little busy right now"

Rose frowned. He hadn't even looked up from his book, even though he was sitting alone in a table for two without any food in front of him. Reading, without looking at her, who, by they way, was looking beautiful on her free day.

"Right, I'm sorry, I just wanted to present myself because I'm new here, didn't want to be an annoyance" she put just the exact amount of sadness and pity in that sentence, knowing full well how she could pretend inocence in any situation.

At that, the tall guy lifted his head. His eyes were so dark, almost black. He was cute, Rose thought "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, I was just finishing this chapter. Yes, I'm Dimitri Belikov, but I'm afraid I'm even newer than you, Guardian..."

"Hathaway, but everyone calls me Rose when I'm off duty" she smiled, noticing how his eyes lingered in her new dress just a second. Getting closer, she thought, satisfied.

"I guess you're related to Jeanine Hathaway in some way, right?"

Rose felt her smile fell "I'm her daughter"

"I didnt know she had a daughter" Dimitri said, frowning. Rose thought maybe this bet was a little stupid, because he was feeling like punching something, not flirting.

"Yeah, he prefers to act like I don't exist, but here I am" she didn't even try to cover her annoyance in that moment, although she knew she was losing him.

"Not all parents are good parents" he seemed deep in thought while saying that, and Rose thought she was going to leave now, because the conversation had found had found a dead stop. He surprised her.

"Would you like to sit until my company arrives?"

Rose studied him. Dimitri Belikov didnt seem the pity kind of guy, and he didn't seem to be pitying her now. And yet, he didn't seem like he was flirting, neither, and there was no other reason he would ask her to sit with him.

She sat.

"Now, would you tell me why did you want to talk to me?" Dimitri arched a brow, and Rose decided he looked cute again, and she had to play her part.

"I just told you-"

"I arrived here five days ago, I'm probably the worst person you could choose to set a conversation and I don't know any other guardians here. Besides, the full table that you come from tells me you're not having problems with socialising ."

Well, this is not going well, she thought. Dimitri didnt seem mad, but he still didn't seem flirty, or entertained, not even satisfied at having seen trough her. He seemed curious, though, and a little too serious for a 26 year old man.

She knew if she confessed then and there, he would send her to her table again, and she'd rather go back to the academy with Kirova than face one of the bests guardians in the world telling everybody how she got in a flirting bet with him and lost because he sent her away. Even if it meant losing in front of Mia.

"Alright, I came here because I know you're one of the bests and I wanted you to train me from time to time" she didn't even know where that had come from.

"What?" Dimitri looked perplexed. She thought fast.

"Well, I was the best Guardian in my generation in the Academy, and I know I'm pretty good, but ever since I'm here I've had little chances to fight against someone as good as me, and they say you're awesome, and we're both going to be here for a while"

"You're not humble, I see"

"Why? Like I said, best in my year at St Vladimirs"

He would reject her, because no one wanted to be a teacher, and also because she was already a Guardian, she'd say she understood, and they would part ways happily. She would lose her bet, but her dignity would remain intact. She could tell Mia he was just too serious for her.

But right as Dimitri opened his mouth, someone touched Rose's shoulder.

"I see you've met Dimka, Rose" a woman voice sounded from behind her. When Rose turned around, she smiled. Tasha Ozzera, in her typical jeans and top, was smiling down at her. Rose loved Tasha. She was one of the few moroi she could tolerate most of the time, and her scars and her story made her everything Rose would have wanted in an older sister.

"Do you know Tasha?" Belikov asked, surprised.

"Of course we know each other, Dimitri. Her moroi is Lisa Dragomir, Lucas' girlfriend. She's been friends with both since they were in the Academy, we met during winter about two years ago, remember Rose?"

Rose would remember that winter until the day she died, specially Mason, so brave yet so stupid, driving them all into danger, only to die when it seemed they had almost saved themselves. She would remember his face when the strigois killed him until she was buried in the ground. Instead of saying that, she forced a smile.

"Tasha and I have agreed we totally need to go hunting Strigois together at some point."

If Tasha noticed the lapse on her face, she didnt react to it. Dimitri, on the other hand, had that curious expression again on his face.

"I'm really happy you two met each other, I knew you would become great friends with my boyfriend, Rose" Tasha smiled, hugging her.

This time, because of lack of practice, it took Rose a little bit more to keep her face straight. She was going to murder Mia. She was sure Mia knew the truth and she just wanted to embarrass Rose as a joke, but she was so dead. Good news was, Dimitri was marking the page of his book right then so he didn't see her face at that. He closed the book and looked up to Tasha again.

"Rose was just asking me to train her while in Court, to improve her skills with me".

Well, fuck.

"Oh my god, this is a great idea! You two have to be the best two Guardians here, it makes total sense that you train together!" Tasha looked even more excited now, and for the first time Rose cursed her openness and happiness at all times. Dimitri looked like he wanted to argue, but Tasha kissed him and turned around to look at Rose again.

"He trains everyday anyway, he could use some company in the meanwhile, specially since I can no longer train with him, now that I'm part of the queen's team of advice"

"You're what? But the Queen is..." Rose was getting more and more shocked the long the conversation went.

"And old, lying, conservationist witch, yeah, I know. I think she's trying to 'keep her enemies closer' or something, but I'm not complaining if I can push some good changes into it" Tasha smiled, shrugging.

"Tasha, you shouldn't say those things outloud..." Dimitri looked around, as if someone was about to stab her with a fork for cursing the Queen. But she laughed, careless "Dimka, dear, she knows what I think of her. She's cruel and a liar, but she's not stupid or deaf or blind". Rose and her laughed, but Belikov seemed to get more distressed with every word. And yet, Rose observed, his face remained almost unchanged, like a marble sculpture. Someone that had payed less attention would have seen it.

"Well, I should leave you two to eat alone, I'll go to my table know that I got what I wanted" Rose smiled while getting up, like she wasn't stuck with more training lessons right when she thought she was finnally free. Damn her and her weird excuses, and damn Mia as well.

Dimitri frowned but nodded, and Tasha told her goodbye as she sat in the same chair, smiling wide and holding Dimitri's hand.

Rose managed to walk normally to her table, and then lost it right in front of Mia.

"Im so sorry, Rose, I didnt know she was dating Tasha until Lucas came, I swear!"

"How old are you? Flirting bet, really?" Lucas seemed to be the only one in the table that found it funny. Eddie seemed to be worried he'd have to stop Rose from attacking Mia, and Lisa was relieved Tasha hadn't realize what was going on.

"Im stuck with training lessons! I dont need training lessons! I'm already the best, and I already have limited free time. Not that I care, because it's Lisa, but come on!" Rose whispered, trying to sound mad and outraged but remain unheard at the same time.

"Can't you tell him you've changed your mind?" Asked Lisa, always diplomatic.

"And say what? That I want more free time? He's one of the bests guardians in the world, some guardians call him Daí, I can't let him have a bad impression of me, Lisa!" Rose murmured, angrier. "He'll think I'm lazy or unconsistent. Now I have to go and be the best student he's seen."

"You think you can be a good student with him? Its no like you were the most rule follower in the academy, exactly" Lucas said, smiling wide at Rose's issue.

"I'm not going to risk every Guardian here hearing I'm bad at my job. The Queen already hates me, she'd have me in the filing room forever if Lisa hadn't been so insisting she wanted me, I can't let her have more against me. I'm going to be the best damn student Belikov's had, and he's going to tell everyone, Queen included, I'm the best Guardian he's seen".

#romitri #fanfic #rose hathaway #dimitri belikov #au #rose x dimitri #va #vampire academy #richelle mead #my work #damphir #moroi

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xiubaek-13 · 4 years

Text

Royal Pain

Prompt: Taehyung + “I hate you.” “Why? I’m a delight.”

Setting/AU: Royal AU

Warnings: none, moody Tae.

Word Count: 1,279

A/N: I haven’t written Tae before so hopefully I didn’t fuck that up.

“Remind me again why father keeps you around?” Prince Taehyung’s voice carried from the bathing chamber out to his main quarters where you were laying out the last of the required garments for the day.

You walked over to the entrance to the chamber, not entering unless you were summoned. “I’m a loyal servant, I’m efficient, polite and know the inner workings of the court. And I’m the only person you haven’t managed to scare off that he trusts.” You stood in the doorway, arm crossed as you stared at the young Prince.

“Then remind me why I have to get dressed today.” He sunk further into the tub, soaking his aching limbs. When he was submerged up to his neck he opened one eye and glanced over at you as he waited for you to answer.

“Today is the royal wedding of your brother Prince Jimin. You are required to attend in full regalia. I have laid the clothes out on the bed for when you finish bathing. If there is nothing else my lord, may I be excused?”

He waved a hand at you from the tub, signalling that you could leave. “I suppose. Who is he marrying again?”

“Doe eyed girl from the west. You liked her, thought they’d be a good match and would have very cute children.”

“Ah yes. Her. Alright you can go. I assume you have lots of errands for today with there being a wedding and all. What will I do whilst free from your eagle eyed gaze?”

“I do but as normal my priority is to serve you. King’s orders and all that. I shall return in an hour to ensure that you are dressed and ready to go.” You curtsied and left the bedchambers, leaving Taehyung alone to bathe in peace.

***

You were still working out if the King hated you or if you really were the only person who could put up with the devilish Prince Taehyung. In front of the court and the villagers he was the bright eyed, innocent little Prince, apple of his father’s eye, a young man who obeyed by all rules and as a bonus, was handsome to boot. Behind closed doors however, that facade dropped. He was a mischief maker, always pushing the rules and testing the servants. He’d bedded almost every court lady and pissed off all of his brothers except Jimin. He outright refused to attend family dinners when his eldest brother Jin was visiting and if he ever got caught he would instantly blame his younger brother Jungkook. The one brother he toed the line with was Yoongi, he’d worked out not to mess with him the hard way.

He’d gotten away with his devilish antics for many many years. Then you came along. Originally you were sent to serve the youngest brother, Jungkook, and you had been doing just that when Taehyung had tried to blame stealing food from a visiting court official on the young boy. You watched as poor Jungkook was reprimanded in front of the court, only intervening when his father visited his chambers later that night to make sure Jungkook was ok. You chose that moment to speak up, and in hindsight it could have been the last thing you did within the castle walls but you’d be damned if you had to care for a crying Jungkook when he’d done nothing wrong.

Just like that you’d been told that you were to serve Taehyung instead, and to keep him in line. The King allowed you to scold and reprimand the prince as you saw fit, something Taehyung did not appreciate. The first time he tried to place blame on one of his brothers for something he’d done you took his dinner away. He’d screamed and shouted and threatened to have you thrown out of the castle but you’d simply stood there and waited for his tantrum to pass. “Simply apologise and you can have your meal.”

He’d huffed and grumbled under his breath, something about the utter disrespect you had for the crown then disappeared for the night, presumably to another court lady’s bedchambers.

***

“I hate you.” He snapped.

“Why? I’m a delight.”

“You are anything but a delight. I truly, truly hate you.” His words were poisonous but you were immune.

“Well tough. I’m the only one who will put up with your antics.” You sighed and stared down at him. “I grow weary of this conversation. Do we have to have this exchange every time I catch you doing something un-princely? It’s unbecoming.”

“Sod off.”

“You wound me. Now get up. You are a Prince and it’s time to act like one. Your brother is about to be wed and you have to stand next to your brothers and look happy about it. I know you are actually happy for Jimin so you can put up with the others for him. As soon as the ceremony is completed you can run off and ignore your family like you usually do.”

“You’d do the same if you had my family.” He whined.

You were over it. You’d come to collect him for the wedding and found him on the floor at the foot of his bed half dressed and refusing to put is boots on. Some days you swore he was nine years old and not in his twenties. “Who knows. I wouldn’t know what having a family is like. Now. Get. Up.” He stood slowly, avoiding your gaze. You did up the buttons of his jacket and placed the sash in place. You could see his chewing on his bottom lip as you worked, a telltale sign that he had something to say but he was trying to find the right moment to say it. “Just say it Tae.”

He hung his head in shame. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had no family.”

“You often don’t consider others’ feelings when you act. Something to work on hmm?” He nodded. “I accept your apology. Now hurry up or you’ll be late.” You patted his shoulder and gathered a few other items in the room that he’d need, boots, gloves and a ring.

He’d been quiet since your outburst which was unlike him. He usually had an endless supply of barbs for you until you either got him in line or made him laugh. Either way, there was never silence. “C-can I see you after the ceremony?” He asked softly.

“Why would you want to do that?” You asked, confused.

“Well, you’ve been serving me for almost two years now and I’m realising that I know nothing about you.” He sighed deeply. “I should know more about you.” He finally lifted his gaze to you, his eyes staring at you with a softness you hadn’t seen before.

“I’m not sleeping with you Taehyung.” You deadpanned.

He burst out laughing. “I promise, I have no desire to sleep with the woman who scolds me on a regular basis, I honestly just think after two years I should have known that you had no family. You know I never mean to offend you, you’re just the only person who throws it back at me and well, I don’t want to say anything genuinely horrible to you. You’re probably my only friend in this whole place though I’d never admit that to anyone else.”

“It’s nice when you remind me that you are human. Meet me in your library after the ceremony and we’ll talk while you make good on that promise to teach me to read.” You smiled and left the room with the young Prince in tow. There was hope for him yet.

#kloversnet #thekpopnetwork #kpopwonderlandtag #kwordsmiths #bts fic #bts drabble #bts imagine #bts scenario #taehyung fic #taehyung drabble #taehyung imagine #taehyung scenario #v fic #v drabble #v imagine #v scenario

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msjr0119 · 4 years

Text

Hold my girl

Part 4

No one really knows about TRR Main characters past …. Most of this series is based on flashbacks from her childhood. I’ve changed the main characters name to, Freya Johnson as Riley Brooks is used in my other series.

Freya is in love with Drake, but he hasn’t returned the feelings- instead just acts horrible towards her. Will Freya return back to Cordonia with the court or will she stay in the USA after the UN party.

Catch up with Part 3 here

Tags:

@annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @drakesensworld @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @pedudley @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @dangerouseggseagleartisan @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @whenyourheartskipsabeat @jovialyouthmusic @nz1091 @yukinagato2012 @indiacater @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @beardedoafdonutwagon @dcbbw @qammh-blog

*******

“Lady Freya, how nice to see you’re sticking around.” Madeleine smirked, along with a sarcastic tone of voice.

God I hate her. No that’s really nasty Freya. Use your Oscar winning fake smile. Daniel would be proud.

“Madeleine. I’m here to do you a favour.”

“Oh and what would that be?” Madeleine laughed in Freya’s face, Freya just wanted to punch her in the face- forcing her to pay a visit to the nearest plastic surgeon.

“You need to call this shower off now!”

“Really Lady Freya? I’ve been more than patient with you. I’ve looked over Liam’s obvious affection for you, endured your presence on this tour but I see no reason why......”

Suddenly Freya’s phone buzzed in her pocket. It was an email from Justin with the attachment of Tariq’s statement. Smiling, she knew that the previous smirk on Madeleine’s face would soon falter.

“If you won’t listen to me Madeleine, watch this!” As Madeleine watched the video the colour from her face slowly drains.

Maybe she feels bad? No this is Madeleine, she has no feelings.

“I see. I’ll think of something to tell everyone. Thank you for bringing this up to me. If it had played in the middle of our wedding shower... I... thank you Freya.”

“Yeah well I know what public humiliation feels like. I wouldn’t put you through that.”

What the fuck is up with you Freya. If anyone deserves humiliation it would be a snake like Madeleine. Just proves I had a good upbringing from Grace and Paul for thinking about other people as well as myself.

“I suppose that you do at that. You’re far more generous than given credit for.” Madeline walks towards the stage leaving Freya alone.

Always remember that if anyone is nasty towards you in anyway- it is most likely because they are jealous of you. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad. Keep your head held high. I love you baby girl.

Freya you are my daughter, I am so proud of the young woman you have become. You are so strong and determined. Never judge anyone, always have empathy towards everyone, no matter how much you may ‘hate’ them. I love you

Nobody likes us? So what? Ignore them. You’re my best friend. As long as I have you and you have me, that’s all we need. I’ll always have your back. Team Daniel and Freya!

Freya was forced to leave her memories as she saw Madeleine about to make a speech.

“Ladies and gentlemen if I may have your attention please... I’m afraid we will have to.....”

Immediately the room is filled with buzzing noises one after the other- the same noise echoing all around.

Shit!

Freya’s friends come up towards her looking shocked.

“You told Justin to not publish the statement right?” Drake asked, looking concerned towards her. Wondering why Justin would ignore her wishes, wondering why Justin would cause more trouble for her.

“Yeah. I text him- look.” Shaking, she passed Drake her phone. Looking back up towards her, he had sorrow in his eyes.

“Well I don’t know what happened but....” Maxwell panicked, it was like deja vu- a vendetta against Freya occurring all over again.

Freya heard everyone whispering around her. Penelope mentioned Tariq’s name whilst Madeleine gave Freya dagger eyes, she then heard Liam.

“They found him!”

Everyone gathered around Freya’s phone as they watched the statement. Tariq had confessed the truth around what really had happened that night at Applewood. That he was in the wrong, he apologised for all the events that had taken place in the room, and for not coming forward sooner, explaining Freya had nothing to do with it. It was a mix up and that he had invaded Freya’s privacy. Freya looked around giving everyone who was looking at her a dignified nod.

“Excuse me guys, I’m just going to get a drink of water.” All her friends looked concerned at each other as she walked away. She needed some air. She could hear all the commotion happening inside but needed to speak to her friend.

“Hey Dan, can you speak?”

“Frey what’s up?”

“It’s all over, my name is cleared.”

“That’s great sweetie, are you okay?”

“Just relieved. It’s over. No more whispering about me behind my back. They are so petty here- it’s like being back at high school. In fact no it’s worse! The fact that they are nobles you’d think they have manners, school kids have the excuse that they are kids.”

“Well you got through it then and I’m sure you will now. You’re strong Frey, if you wasn’t you wouldn’t have returned to face that shitstorm. You are determined but stubborn at the same time. They should have been afraid of you and to learn not to mess with a New Yorker.”

“Yeah, strong thanks to mom, dad and you. Talking about mom and dad, I haven’t had chance to see them. I feel guilty, and I know that sounds stupid but are you free tomorrow afternoon?”

“Of course I am. I’m sure they’ve missed you. You need to update your diary. Erm Frey?”

“Yeah...”

“You know when I said I needed to ask you something in that text? That’s what I wanted to ask. To ask if you’d been up to see them.”

“No Daniel. I feel guilty not going. No one from Cordonia knows about my past. Just gotten through one scandal- didn’t want to cause another one.”

“Well I’ve been up a few times and explained to them, and kept their graves tidy. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t. Thank you Dan! That means so much to me. Can you do me a favour? I need to send some things to your email - could you print them off for me and bring them tomorrow?”

“Sure thing Freya. See you at 2? Love ya sweetie.”

“See you then. Love ya”

Freya walked back into the room after talk with Daniel. She couldn’t believe what he had told her, he was a true friend. As she walked in Liam was on stage.

“ I propose a toast to Lady Johnson.”

Everyone in the room followed Liam’s toast. Freya saw Madeleine started to walk over just as Justin barged through the door.

No. Not dealing with this tonight. I feel like punching Justin.

“Hey guys, I’m going to head back. I’m really tired.”

“C’mon Jono, lets all get out of here before the press turn up and ask questions.”

Freya agreed with Drake, wondering why he was being so sincere for once. Along with Maxwell, Bertrand and Hana they headed back to the hotel. There was silence all the way back. She just wanted to go to sleep before seeing her mom and dad the following day but her friends insisted on coming inside with her.

“What a night!” Hana gently broke the silence between the friends.

“I can’t believe it’s over- finally.” Freya sighed as she kicked off her shoes and threw her bag onto the couch.

“Nor can I.”

“Liam?”

“I had a feeling you would all come here. I came as soon as I could. I can’t imagine how you are feeling after what my father put you through and what happened with Tariq.” Freya nodded and smiled at everyone.

How did I get lucky to gain such amazing friends? And I’m about to leave them all. Thank god for social media.

“I just feel relieved. It’s over. I’ve spent so long with schemes hanging over my head.” Maxwell jumps into the conversation- quite literally jumping. Freya raised her eyebrows at him, wondering how much alcohol he had managed to consume in the short time that they had attended the wedding shower.

“Now that you’re in the clear this calls for a celebration!”

“What did you have in mind?”

“What has amazing fried food, carnival games and crazy rides?” He said excitedly, with the biggest grin painted on his face.

“It’s Coney Island. He wants to go to Coney Island.” Drake now jumped into the conversation. He couldn’t bear anymore hints from Maxwell- they could possibly be there all night guessing. Freya laughed. “I see...”

“Yep! You. Us. Tomorrow morning? Liam can come too if he wants.”

“An excellent idea. I have things to do tonight but tomorrow sounds great.”

They arranged to meet at 10am before her friends left her room.

10am, that leaves me four hours to do Coney Island with my friends then get to my parents graves at 2pm to meet Daniel. How am I going to get away from them all without telling the truth of where I’m going? I don’t want to lie to them. Just then Freya thought of something. She had a plan.

*****

Freya couldn’t sleep after her name being cleared. Flashbacks occurred in the back of her mind from all the social season. Anyone else would have given up straight away.

Getting out of bed, she quickly showered and got dressed into a sports bra and leggings and decided to go for a run as she always did. It always cleared her mind for a bit. It was 6.30am. Plenty of time before she had to endure Coney Island with her friends. Not that she wasn’t excited to spend time with them, she just wasn’t as thrilled to be going. She went all the time. It was ‘old’ for her.

Grabbing her phone, headphones and bottle of ice cold water, Freya headed to the front door to leave for her run. As she got closer there was a knock.

Ffs Maxwell!

“Liam? I was just going to curse you thinking that you was my alarm clock also known as Maxwell!”

Liam stared at Freya, considering all the shit she had been through she could still crack a joke even at this time of the morning.

“Lady Freya, I thought I’d be disturbing you but looks like you are ready for the day and are going somewhere?”

“Yeah I couldn’t sleep. My New York brain kicked in. Whenever I couldn’t sleep, I’d go for a run to clear my mind. I’m just going now.... don’t worry I’ll be at Coney Island for ten. I’m not usually long.. scared of having a heart attack if I work out too much.”

“I don’t doubt for a minute you’d be late. And even if you was, this day is about you so we’d wait for you. I actually wanted to ask if you wanted to meet me before we went - for breakfast or a coffee somewhere? I’ve cleared my appointments for today.”

“Sure. What time? I’ll be an hour tops.”

“Ring me when you’re back. And I’ll come and collect you.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

Liam patted his pocket checking the box was still safe once Freya had left. They hadn’t been close recently- she kept ditching his suggestions of meeting up one to one. He believed it was because she didn’t want to cause another scandal whilst he was engaged to another woman.

But now her name had been cleared, he had considered asking her to become his Queen. She had won over the press during the social season, and now her name was cleared she could prove them all right that she is an amazing woman.

*********

An hour later Freya rung Liam, he immediately jumped out of his chair and grabbed his jacket. Just assuming he wanted to talk about her name being cleared, she didn’t think anything of it.

“Morning, did you enjoy your run.”

“Yes thank you. It’s good to be back to normality.” Liam wondered what she meant by the words back and normality.

“I see, so I thought we could go and visit the Statue of Liberty again?”

“Sure. Then we could beat those losers to Coney Island.” She laughed.

****

Liam admired the Statue of Liberty as he did that first night he met Freya, who went all out to make his dream come true about visiting her. Freya noticed that he was in a trance, assuming it was most likely due to the memory.

“We’ve come along way since we were last here.”

“Yes.” Liam couldn’t string a sentence together, deep down he knew she would immediately refuse his proposal due to their relationship drifting apart. Sitting down on a bench with the Statue in the distance, they both remained silent.

“Last time we was here, I was besotted with you. I always believed that if fate would bring us back together that I’d marry you.” Freya’s natural complexion suddenly drained, she wasn’t ready to break his heart. Any of their hearts in that case.

“I was going to ask you to marry me, be my Queen- but I knew deep down that you’d always say no after how my father treat you. I don’t blame you. I can see from your facial expression that you need to say something...”

“I ... I ...”

“Freya what’s up? I’ve never seen you speechless before. You’re strong. You’re determined.”

“Liam, I am those things. But deep down I’m constantly breaking down. I opened up to Duchess Adelaide at the UN party- I was drunk. I should have told you all about my past. Maxwell briefly knows. I’m so sorry Liam.” Liam looked at her bewildered, not knowing why she couldn’t talk to anyone regarding her past. After explaining about it all- he wore the same expression that Adelaide wore- both speechless.

“I’ve never seen you speechless before your Majesty.” She joked.

“You should have told us all. We all complained about our past to you. If you are feeling homesick- I’m not going to keep you tied up in a dungeon. You can leave Cordonia whenever. We can all make it a regular vacation.”

“Liam... I’m not coming back to Cordonia.”

#theroyalromance #choices trr #trr hold my girl #trr freya johnson #drakewalker #liam rhys #maxwell beaumont

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dat-fandom-losertown · 5 years

Text

The Drift Between Us

•◊•◊•◊•◊•

Chapter 3: I’ll Do Better

•◊•◊•◊•◊•

Hank Anderson x Connor and Gavin Reed x RK900

Pacific Rim AU

Warnings: I think I’m just gonna stop putting swearing as a warning? Cause it’s in literally every single chapter Lmao, Arguments, a moment with PTSD and anxiety

Word Count: 8,739

•◊•◊•◊•◊•

Previous <~> Masterlist <~> Next

•◊•◊•◊•◊•

“What’s got your panties in a twist this time?” Tina teases with her signature smirk as Gavin sits down next to her at their table.

“Fuck off, Tina.” Gavin shakes his head, knowing that his words don’t have the venom they would if he were to say them to anyone else.

“Aw, come on! You look even more bothered than usual and you’re not gonna tell me what happened?” The woman doesn’t give enough time for him to reply before continuing again. “I have ten bucks in my pocket that says it has to do with the new trainees roaming around.”

“That and Hank fuckin’ Anderson.” He begins around the food in his mouth, “Didn’t even know he could be awake at this hour anymore, let alone be sober enough to pull the ‘my old partner’s the current marshal’ card. I mean, he didn’t use it on me, but I heard him use it on one of the new fuckers.”

“One of the trainees? What’d they do?”

“For once in my life I was just mindin’ my own fuckin’ business, when two newbies come around the corner. Of course, I’m just trying to get to lunch, right? So I plan on just walking around them, but this kid fuckin’ tries to shoulder-check me! And when I didn’t budge he started acting like I started it!”

“So you picked a proper fight?” Tina’s turned towards him now, engrossed in Gavin’s story.

“No! Like I said, I just wanted some fuckin’ food! So I threatened the guy a bit and... gave a warning, you could say. I could immediately tell he had an ego larger than my ass, so I couldn’t just let him walk away, ya know?.”

Another woman’s voice pipes up, “Wait, you said there were two trainees. What about the other one?” Gavin doesn’t know when she got here, but now she’s sitting across from Tina.

“It was the same dude I saw daydreaming in the hall yesterday, and he kept trying to get the other dude to just walk away like the fuckin’ coward he is. He even got the shit beat outta him sometime after dinner yesterday. He was all bandaged up and limping a bit. Anderson rounded the corner before I could even start with him.”

“And you said he was awake, walking around, and sober earlier? Wow.” Tina leans back in her chair. “I’m impressed. That’s the second time this month he’s been sober and calm so early in the day.”

“You think he’s finally coming to terms with whatever happened to him?” Tina’s official partner– Angie? Allie? Amy? Who fuckin’ knows and who fuckin’ cares– asks, sounding genuinely hopeful for the washed up drunkard.

Gavin barks out a harsh laugh, “Nah, there’s no way. His hangover probably just woke him up earlier than normal.”

“What exactly do you have against him, Gav?” the same lady asks.

“What do you mean ‘what do I have against him’? He’s done nothing but sit around on his ass drunk as hell for the past couple of years and no one’s done anything about it because he’s the ‘oh so great Pilot Anderson’ and his fuckin’ bff is the one in charge of this shit hole!” Gavin leans back in his chair with crossed arms, his food already scarfed down and tray empty. “If any of us acted the way he has been for even a month we’d be kicked out of here before we could even pack our stuff! Besides, isn’t he too fuckin’ old to pilot anymore anyway? Why in the hell is he even still here?”

“He’s only barely in his forties you know,” Tina informs patiently, having heard this rant a hundred times over by now, “He started going grey in his early twenties, something about genetics. Can’t imagine the stress and grief helped at all, either.”

“Grief. What could have possibly happened to make him ‘grieve’ for this long? Like, don’t get me wrong, I get it, but it’s been fuckin’ years of this shit. He needs to get it together, ‘cause at this point he’s just dragging us down.”

Gavin lowers his head and averts his eyes, enviously thinking about how he wasn’t ever given the kind of treatment Anderson is given on a daily basis. His face must start looking softer because Tina looks at him with a sort of concern and confusion. He scowls at her and shakes his head with a huff in dismissal.

All throughout training, each pilot is taught that no one can hold back any memories from their partner while in the drift. While that fact was usually used to keep trainees in line since everything they do will be seen by another person eventually, it was true. Mostly. After certain things took place long ago, Gavin accidentally stumbled upon a way to keep memories from whoever was his partner. From the complaints he’s heard in the past, it’s just as uncomfortable for them as it is for him, if not more so. So far, only Tina and her new partner have been able to put up with it more than twice..

The whole point is, no one here truly knows his story. The people who did have either retired, or they were killed in action, or their name is Jeffery Fowler. No one knows what kind of life he had growing up, if he has siblings or not, how long he trained to be a pilot before arriving here; and nobody knows if Gavin’s “pissy, jackass attitude” is a result of something or if that’s just who he is.

Spoiler alert: it’s just how he’s fuckin’ been his entire damn life, and he has no intentions to change any time soon. Even if Gavin wanted to, he doesn’t think he could actually change enough for it to matter, anyway. So fuck it.

“You don’t know what happened!” Tina’s partner sounds thoroughly offended on Anderson’s behalf. She must be newer or more empathetic than he thought. “They said this started right after a particularly big battle with a kaiju, he probably lost family or something!”

“I lost my family and my home when I was 17, and no one’s ever seen me moping around, constantly high as fuck and unable to do my job! ‘Cause heaven knows I wouldn’t get drunk of all things to forget my problems, I still have some self-respect.”

He must have said something wrong because the looks on both women’s faces make him feel like he’s the main attraction of a pity party. He scowls again and is about to snarl out “what?” when Tina finally speaks, albeit softly, as if he, Gavin Reed, a man tougher and more stubborn than the most overcooked jerky, would break.

“You were only 17 when..?”

And just like that, it clicks.

“No, you fucks!” he exaggeratedly rolls his eyes, “I was kicked out by my bitch-ass mother. They haven’t died or anything like that. At least, I don’t think they have…”

Both women relax, Tina already going back to her almost finished meal as if nothing happened, knowing full well that they weren’t going to get anything else out of Gavin for the rest of the week. However, her partner seems a bit more adamant on knowing the story, if the look in her eye is anything to go by. Just as she’s about to open her mouth, Gavin abruptly stands up. It’s time to get the hell outta dodge.

“Well, as much as I’d like to say it was a pleasure talking to you asshats, I can’t.” Tina’s smirk is enough to let Gavin know that she knows he’s just messing around now. “Don’t have a sucky ass day, I guess. Or do, I’m not your fuckin’ parent.” He promptly turns with his empty tray in hand and leaves the food court area after putting everything in their designated places.

Whenever Gavin gets worked up, going to the gym usually helps. Growing up, the only way he learned to deal with his short temper was to let it out through physical exertion. When he was younger, that meant getting into fights and punching walls until he felt calm and safer to be around again. Now, though, it means going to the gym and showing anyone else who may be in there how it’s done. Not only does he feel better about himself– contrary to popular belief, punching the nearest person or thing had never done well for his conscience after all was said and done– he also gets some of the best scores in fighting skill from his admittedly excessive training. To be completely honest, those high scores are probably the only thing keeping him here at this point.

Gavin takes his sweet, precious time getting to the gym. He meanders through the endless, reinforced halls until he gets to his room. They placed him right across from Tina’s room since she’s the only one who can tolerate him and is the only one Gavin doesn’t regularly want to deck in the throat. Even though she has an official partner now, that girl’s still relatively new and Tina is a better match in the drift for Gavin than anyone else is. Now that he thinks about it, he may not be able to slack off like Anderson, but he can admit that the higher-ups of this place have done a lot more to keep him here than they likely would have for anyone else. Not even he had to do “intern work” for Fowler during his first week of training, and it’s that one assbag’s second day here and he’s already managed to fuck it up.

He changes into his work out clothes quickly and grabs the wraps for his hands. He puts them on expertly on the way, having gone through the wrapping process much more often than anyone he knows has. Gavin’s about to turn into the gym when he hears the voice of that daydreaming coward coming from around the corner.

“Connor, would you stop your whining. Do you want what happened today in class to happen again?”

Gavin quickly backtracks to hide behind one of the support beams on the wall. He wants to know what happened during their class, because he has a feeling it has to do with how fucked up the guy was this morning.

“No I don’t,” the same voice replies? Is he talking to himself? Is this another case of Fight Club? “But we just got told to lie down and relax today since our hands are too bruised to hold pens. I don’t think it’s wise to go in there in case–”

“–In case we’re found here while this injured, I know.” Well, it’s definitely not the same person, since there were clearly two voices talking over each other just then. “You’ve said that only a million times now. We’re allowed to be in here, we just won’t be using the equipment.”

Gavin takes a chance to lean his head out and look at whoever is talking. He immediately recognises daydreamer on the left by the light grey shirt he’s wearing, which means his identical twin is wearing the black shirt. The doppelganger– apparently named Connor– looks slightly worse off than his twin.

These pilot wannabes just got here recently, right? So they must have been paired up for the initial evaluation and roughed each other up good. Maybe the twink-looking asshole isn’t a coward at all. Maybe the dude is just confident that he could win in a fight against Gavin. Although, that doesn’t explain why he was so certain that Gavin could win against that other fucker– was it Alex?– in a brawl just earlier. Maybe it’s more of an “You can’t beat me, but you can win against him” kinda deal.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum both enter the gym, still continuing on with their conversation about morals and finding loopholes within rules and orders, and Gavin takes that as his cue to follow them inside.

•◊•◊•◊•◊•

“I still think we shouldn’t hold back around the instructors. They’re here to evaluate us, right?” Connor asks, still very much concerned about hiding things from the people who are above them in rank.

It’s just that, what if they get caught holding back and are punished for it? Connor doesn’t even want to think about the times that had happened while training with Amanda, let alone repeat it. He knows logically that Luther wouldn’t dream of doing something like that to his students, but the inconvenient part of Connor’s head is not letting him actually believe it. It’s better to expect the worst and get better results than assume decent results and get blindsided.

“Yes, but if we don’t hold back, then they’ll probably make us graduate much earlier, which means less time to find new partners.” Ritch hisses at him.

Connor just sighs, knowing he’s right but not liking to go behind instructors’ backs, even for something as important to them as this. Ritch likely knows what kind of war is going on in his head right now, which is probably why he’s being much more patient with him than usual today.

“I know you don’t like this, but it’s necessary.”

“I know. You’re right, as always.” Connor relents finally, sitting down in the far corner of the gym where it will be obvious that they’re just sitting there, watching everyone else train and work out. They need to get a feel for how much they should be holding back for now, and how fast they should progress throughout training.

A few minutes pass of silently watching a man on a treadmill, another at a punching bag, and a woman lifting weights before Connor leans over to speak into Ritch’s ear.

“Are we going to match their skill? Or are we going to try going weaker than them?”

“After the show we put on earlier, I don’t think we can pull off playing as much weaker or less skilled than these people without the others becoming suspicious.” he answers immediately, eyes never leaving the tiring man on the treadmill.

Connor nods silently, leaning back into his own space again. It isn’t long until Ritch is leaning over to whisper in his ear, this time.

“Do you see the guy at the punching bag?”

“Yes?” Connor confirms, watching the man go to town on the hanging bag.

His technique is very good, and he has a lot of power behind each punch. It’s obvious that he’s tougher and stronger than he looks, not unlike Ritch and himself. Connor wonders if Ritch is going to suggest matching with him. It wouldn’t be a good idea at all, seeing as how he seems to be at almost the same level as them. Plus, judging by the scars littered around his face and arms, he has real experience in combat, which gives him a leg up on the other trainees.

Actually… That might be Pilot–

“That’s Gavin Reed.” Ritch unknowingly confirms his thought. “He’s trouble, so just try your best to avoid and ignore him. I’ve already run into him twice and both times he’s tried to pick a fight with me.”

That wasn’t what Connor was expecting. He knew the rumors of Gavin Reed being testy and short-tempered, but he’s picking fights with Ritch of all people so soon after their arrival?

“Really? It hasn’t even been 24 hours yet.”

“Yea. The first time he shoulder checked me while I was walking on the correct half of the hallway while he was going the opposite way, and the second time happened just before lunch. Apparently Alex bumped into him but he–” he nods to Gavin “–was adamant on finishing what was started. Mr. Anderson had to come and diffuse the situation.”

Connor turns to face Ritch. “Mr. Anderson was there?”

“Yes.”

“Did he seem okay? He seemed to have a terrible hangover this morning at lunch, and I’m sure any yelling that was happening wasn’t helping.”

Now Ritch turns to him. “Why do you care? He hasn’t been in a jaeger in years. Unless you became much more attached to who he once was than I thought.”

Connor huffs out what could be considered a growl and turns back to Gavin, “Can’t a guy just care about someone else’s health?”

“Not you.” Ritch follows Connor’s gaze, “When you care about someone’s health, it’s one of the first signs that you’re getting attached to someone, and I really don’t believe that Mr. Anderson is someone you should be getting attached to.”

“Why do you think that?” Immediately defensive.

“People talk, and he isn’t–.”

“Just like how they used to talk about us?”

“This is different than us.”

“How so?”

Ritch sharply turns back to his twin, irritation causing his eyebrows to set even lower and his mouth to thin. “Look, I don’t give a damn about who you imprint on or whatever anymore. I am trying to help you out here, because unlike the times people have talked about us, what people are saying about Mr. Anderson are all factual and we’ve both seen the proof. You need to lay off of him because not everyone feels the incessant need to not be alone.”

Connor finally allows himself to snap back. “Maybe you’re wrong this time. Yes, he drinks and he’s a miserable human being who doesn’t like other people, but how do we know that just who he is? What if he’s just like how we were way back in the orphanage, where everyone treated us like glass or ruined goods all the time? What if he wants– needs someone to be fuckin’ normal around him for a change to bring him out of his pit, and no one is there?”

“If he wanted someone, he would have found someone. He had plenty of friends before he started this!” Ritch raises his voice from a whisper, and Connor can already tell that this isn’t going to end well, especially since he isn’t willing to roll over and surrender this time.

“We had plenty of friends too, but they just didn’t understand once they found out, huh? They ended up just making things worse until all we had was each other. And there’s the thing! We still had one other person who understood! We had each other! And we’ve never remembered whatever trauma we’ve been through! He remembers it probably like it was yesterday and he is completely alone!”

“This isn’t a fairy tale, Connor! This is real life, and in real life you can’t just swoop in and save the depressed, rumored suicidal alcoholic through the magical power of friendship!”

“I don’t plan on saving anyone!” Connor shouts. The entire room becomes silent all of a sudden. He takes that moment to take a breath and continue at a normal speaking volume, “This is what you and everyone else don’t understand. I don’t want to save or fix people! I just want them to realize that there’s still hope for a somewhat normal life after their entire world shifted on its axis!” Connor takes another breath, recognizing that the three people in the room are no longer hiding the fact that they’re listening to him.

“I know I’ve said before that people can’t ‘fix’ or ‘save’ other people. They can only ever offer hope and a sense of normality among the chaos and hope that person finds enough of their own strength to fix themselves. And go ahead and make fun of me for being ‘naive’ or whatever you want. This is what I’ve always thought and this is the one thing I will not let anyone change about me. Now, I’m going to go take a nap. Enjoy your people watching.”

With that, Connor calmly makes his way across the gym area, a contradiction to the anger showing on his face and burning in his chest. He needs to calm down, and the best way to do that is to curl up in a calm, quiet place. He nods a silent greeting to the supposed troublemaker, Gavin Reed, on his way towards the door. Mostly to spite Ritch, but also because the guy had a really good form and the strength to back it up, and that deserves some kind of acknowledgement in Connor’s opinion.

Connor vaguely hears his name being called by Ritch as he steps out of the gym area, and normally that would be enough to make him pause, which then gives him think over the argument. Nine times out of ten, during this process of thinking things over, his brain somehow convinces himself that the entire fight was his fault and the person won’t ever forgive him. This time, though, he doesn’t pause. He doesn’t give his messed up head a chance to twist things on him. Connor knows he’s right this time, and he’s not going to allow himself to bow down to Ritch about this topic. In this case, bowing down to Ritch would be the equivalent of bowing down to Amanda, and she isn’t here to control him anymore.

No matter how far Connor was pushed during training as punishments, he never let her think she brainwashed that part of him, and she had not gone easy on him whatsoever.

Call him naive, childish, innocent, too optimistic, whatever. He’s heard all of that and much more and much worse from countless people. He likes to give people the benefit of the doubt, he likes giving people second and sometimes third chances (but only if they truly deserve it, and never a fourth). He likes to think that most people in the world don’t mean to do harm, and if they do they have a reason behind it. This way of thinking is the only thing that keeps him going some days, and on the days he’d temporarily forgotten how to maintain that mindset were the days that not even threats and cruel promises from Amanda could get him out of his bed. Mr. Anderson may have been able to get away with staying in bed most days, but that’s because he was once a decorated jaeger pilot. Connor is barely an official trainee, he can’t afford any more missed time.

“Connor!”

The familiar, gruff voice snaps him out of his thoughts. It doesn’t sound like that’s the first time he’s tried calling Connor, either.

“I apologise Mr. Anderson,” He starts with, turning on his heel quickly to not keep the older man waiting for his full attention a moment longer, “I was a bit lost in my head there for a few moments. I won’t let it happen again.”

Mr. Anderson makes a face that falls between scowling and confusion, “Must’ve been deeper in there than you thought ‘cause this ain’t close to any place you’d be needed.”

Looking around, he’s right. Connor doesn’t recognise these walls at all. There are different pipes and the floors are a slightly different texture than the rougher, more worn down metal or concrete of the other places he’s seen. He’s definitely in a bunker area, though, just not anywhere he’s been before, which means he’s probably in the area meant for more experienced pilots. Their bunkers are placed closest to the jaeger loading docks for faster take off. Connor must have taken a wrong turn at some point, still not completely used to this place’s layout.

It was probably for the best, though, since the first place Ritch would surely check for him is their room (especially since he claimed that he was going to take a nap), and he doesn’t want a repeat of what happened in the gym nor a chance to apologize to his brother for the sake of ending the fight. Both options are equally possible at this moment, so plan “get back to the dorm to calm down in the quiet” changes to plan “avoid Ritch while finding a good place to calm down in”.

“Fucks sake, Connor!” Mr. Anderson calls again, once more sounding like that wasn’t the first thing he’s said to the younger man since he had zoned out.

Connor immediately tenses, not liking when people start raising their voices at him, and snaps out of his thoughts again. Here he is, causing problems and inconveniences for people again, just like the fuck up he’s been lately. He needs to find a calm, peaceful place to relax sooner rather than later; he can’t be in public any longer like this.

“I’m sorry,” Connor takes a step back, then another, all while curling into himself, “I must have taken a wrong turn, I apologize for taking up your time,” He takes a few more steps back, not lifting his gaze from the ground, “I’m sorry, I’ll leave now. Sorry again–” Connor finishes weakly and darts out of the area, giving Mr. Anderson no chance to say anything to him.

He tries to force his head to stay in the real world so he can actually register where is and find out where he’s going, but it’s slowly getting more difficult. He speed walks through the huge jaeger storage room, easily dodging all of the busy people moving about and doing their jobs. After a particular quick change in direction to avoid the woman with her nose in her clipboard, Connor is painfully aware that his leg is still throbbing from this morning, despite the painkillers he was given.

At the reminder of the training room, he quickly finds a safe spot to stand in then checks the time. He hadn’t realised how much time has passed since lunch, and he isn’t sure how long of the past hour and a half was spent in the gym people watching and how much of it was spent wandering around aimlessly. He supposes it doesn’t matter at the moment. What does matter is that the training room should be empty by now, since everyone should be taking the written part of the exam so they can get a break from the physical exertion.

Connor eventually makes it to the vacant room successfully. No one else tried to stop him or talk to him. No one else seemed to take any particular note of him at all. There was no sign of Mr. Anderson, Gavin Reed, or Ritch that he’d been able to find. He should be safe here.

The first thing he does when he enters the room is find the best spot to spend over an hour in. He decides to camp in the left corner of the room, leaning against the wall the doorway he entered from is on. A minute or so of sitting and bouncing his leg and tapping his fingers pass before Connor decides to do some stretching. Yoga has always been his guilty pleasure and one of the few things that calmed him down completely. Besides, Amanda never complained about him being more flexible during fights. She said it complimented Ritch’s more solid technique.

Why does every little thing bounce back to her? Stop that. She’s gone now, so stop thinking about her. Stop thinking…

He isn’t sure when he fell asleep, but he knows he’s been in the Child’s Pose for a fair amount of time, if the pin pricks in his calves and feet and the ache rising in his knees and lower back have anything to say about that. With a quiet grunt, he rolls onto his back and straightens out his body, trying to stretch out all of the aching joints and muscles. Connor doesn’t think it would be as bad if it was his entire body that ached, because then it would be easier to ignore it and move on.

“Oh shit. Connor, what are you doing in here?” North asks, making Connor jump.

Connor should have realized that he wasn’t alone in the room. With how tired he was, and still is, there’s no way he would have woken up on his own while the sun was still up.

Connor notes the random sounds of concern and confusion and the footsteps growing closer to him. He decides to go with sarcasm and humor, rather than the blunt truth. He’s already caused enough inconveniences today, and he knows this group well enough to know that they won’t somehow be offended by it.

“Oh, you know. Just doing yoga. I don’t recommend falling asleep in the middle of a pose though…” Connor fails to cover a groan as he sits up. His legs have gotten a bit better, but his back and ankles certainly haven’t yet. “Yea, definitely not the best position to fall asleep in.”

Markus offers a hand to lift him up to his feet, and Connor gladly takes it. “Why are you doing yoga in here of all places? If you don’t mind my asking, of course.”

“I didn’t even know you did yoga,” Josh jumps in.

Connor elects to ignore Markus’ question for the time being, “It’s always been a guilty pleasure of mine, and once my… Once the person who was taking care of me and Ritch figured out I was doing yoga in my spare time instead of doing extra studying, she didn’t actively try to stop me.” He starts leaning and twisting his torso in different directions to try to stretch his back, grimacing at how it pulls at some of the bandages and injuries on his torso. “She actually said that my flexibility and fluidity in fights complimented Ritch’s more rigid and solid form.”

“Jesus,” Simon breathes out, “The way you and Ritch describe– Amanda was it?” Connor nods, “Makes it seem like she wasn’t your stepmother at all.”

One would think that Connor would learn to think before replying.

“That’s because she really wasn’t.” He finally straightens up for good, his back better, now. “I think she only adopted us because we said we wanted to become jaeger pilots when we grew up. Well, I did, anyway.” Connor adds that last part softly, massaging his left palm with his right thumb.

“Wait,” Josh blurts, “You said her name was Amanda?”

“Yes?” Why does Josh look like he’s found the missing last piece to a 500 part jigsaw puzzle?

“Amanda, as in, Amanda Stern? Do you share her last name?”

Seeing how everyone’s eyes light up confuses Connor even more. He’s definitely missing something here.

“Yes? Have you met her before or know somebody else who has?”

“Have we met her!?” North suddenly exclaims, “Are you kidding me!? Only a small group of people have met her, everyone else just knows of her and her work! She’s a fucking legend among the jaeger pilot and special forces trainers! She always trains the best fighters! No wonder you two are so far out of our league! Especially if you’ve been in her care for so long!”

“I didn’t realise she was popular.”

“She’s more than just popular. She’s downright famous within the jaeger and military community.” Simon corrects.

“I’m actually shocked you didn’t know. Did you never question what those gatherings were, as you and Ritch call them?” Josh asks.

“Uh, no? Asking particularly dumb questions usually meant more work the next day for us, so neither of us wanted to ask. We just knew that wealthy people came over for conversation and drinks and we had to stay out of the way unless sought out and spoken to.”

Markus seems to snap out of his silent contemplation then. “More work for asking dumb questions. A life wearing nothing but uniforms and sleepwear, little to no toys and electronics growing up despite her having the funds for more than enough. That mixed with how you guys are pretty much soldiers already and claim to have learned most of it on your own… She does not sound like someone who deserves the high praise she gets. It all sounds questionable at best.”

“I mean… I guess? But she was only trying to get us used to following orders and stuff so we wouldn’t get in trouble here.” Right? “I don’t think she wasn’t a bad person? She just liked having things a certain way and was very determined to get it that way. We just weren’t good enough pilots for her in the beginning, is all. She was very nice and pleasant to us when we did something right, and always was to other people, too.”

Whatever Markus is thinking, Simon catches on too. Maybe they have the telepathy thing that Connor and Ritch have, too. “Were you and Ritch holding back this morning?”

Connor doesn’t know where this is going, but he doesn’t like it.

“What do you mean? We were told to go all out so we could be evaluated properly.”

“That’s what you were told to do,” Markus puts a kind hand on his shoulder. It’s oddly and undeniably comforting. “But did you actually?”

“No. We held back.” Ritch’s voice says from the doorway, having just popped in, “We had to be at least a little more gentle than usual because we were on those thin mats, and not mud or thicker foam like we’re used to. But after seeing everyone else’s skill levels this morning, we decided it would be best to blend in and hold back more.”

“What happened to keeping that hidden? What if Luther and Chloe find out?” Connor steps towards his brother, causing Markus’ hand to fall from his shoulder.

“I see no reason to hide that from this group in particular.” Ritch remains as stoic and unbothered as always. “They’ve proven themselves to be trustworthy, and at least two of them had already figured it out. It’d be more effort to try to continue hiding it from them.” Connor goes to retort, but Ritch continues, “Why are you getting upset? I thought you wanted to come clean?”

Connor has to curl his hands into fists and clench his jaw to keep the angered words and growls from leaving his mouth. It doesn’t help in the slightest that he never got to properly calm down from the fight earlier. He just fell asleep on the floor.

“What brings you here, Ritch?” he asks calmly, instead.

He rolls his eyes– a thing he would have gotten smacked for if they were still under Amanda’s roof, Connor’s brain supplies. “Well, you kind of stormed out earlier.”

“That generally means that person doesn’t want to be in the other’s presence anymore.”

“Oh would you stop being a child for two seconds and come with me to eat dinner. You need to eat and we can finish talking then.”

Connor sharply looks to the side. “I’ll be there in a few. Go ahead without me.” He continues as Ritch opens his mouth to say something, “And if you just stay here and wait for me I will purposely skip dinner and breakfast tomorrow. And you know I’ve lasted longer without food before and it won’t faze me.”

“And you know it won’t faze me either.”

“Won’t it?” Connor usually lasted just over three days without food before giving in during Amanda’s “survival evaluations”. Ritch only lasted one and a half on average.

There’s a heavy, tense silence where Connor is painfully aware of the other four’s presence, and that they have no clue what to make of this or how to handle it. Thankfully, Ritch caves first with a sigh.

“Fine then, but I don’t want you near Mr. Anderson.”

Connor clenches his fists and law. “Good thing you’re not my guardian or superior then.”

“He is, though. Your superior.”

“And he hasn’t kicked me off of his table yet. And don’t even claim that he could be letting me stay just to be polite or whatever. We both know he isn’t like that.”

Another silence, less tense and much shorter this time, though. Yet it’s broken by Ritch’s sigh once more.

“Fine.” He snaps, shaking his head, “It’s your life, your downfall, your embarrassment, and your panic attack when he comes to dislike you.” He turns around and starts walking out of the room. He doesn’t pause as he calls over his shoulder, “Don’t come crying to me this time. This will be all your doing, and I am not your guardian.”

“Wasn’t going to.” the other half calls back.

Well that was a disaster. Well, not so much of a disaster as a wreckage of notable size. Here Connor was, thinking that it would be himself that would ruin his relationship with Markus, North, Josh, and Simon, but oh no. No, it was going to be Ritch that destroyed it in the end. That robotic asshat.

Well, time to do some damage control.

“I am so sorry you guys had to see that–”

“Are you two like this all the time?” Josh interrupts.

His question makes him freeze and stumble over his previous thought. Why would he care how he and Ritch act around one another?

“Yes and no? I mean, when we’re not talking business, we’re either doing our own thing and leaving each other alone or training together, but our arguments don’t usually last this long. It’s usually solved one way or another by now.” Connor takes a deep breath, and finally relaxes his fists and stature, not realizing he was tense for a fight. He turns to the group that is now cautious, not unlike treading on eggshells, but not treating him as if he were delicate or unpredictable. More like unsteady, if he was forced to choose a word. “You guys know how siblings are, after all. This will pass.”

No one says or indicates anything. Are siblings not usually like this?

Markus takes a step forward. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but were you and Ritch pitted against each other often?”

Connor almost considers leaving the room right then, making use of the out he was given. He’s been talking way too much today, anyway; he feels the way his throat is getting hoarse with how much he’s been using his voice. On top of that, he just doesn’t want to go into detail about their training. He doesn’t want their opinions of him or Ritch to change because of what they’ve done in the past. Although, if his twin didn’t feel like waiting until they were alone to continue their dispute, then why should Connor spare him of this?

“I was under the impression that everyone fought against their partner in order to train. It helps both trainees’ styles to be either complementary to one another or near identical, and it helps them think in similar or complementary ways during battles, too. Did you guys not spar against each other regularly?”

“There’s a difference between sparring against your partner and being pitted against them, Connor.” North responds this time, uncharacteristically subdued.

“Well, yes, I suppose so…” There are so many regrets right now. After this, he’s just not going to talk anymore. It’s not worth it.

Simon takes a slow step forward, watching his reaction, “Stop me if I’m going too far, but were you guys ever told to fight with the intentions to harm or subdue each other, rather than just to train? ‘Cause that is usually considered illeg–”

–hand in his hair, boot digging into his back. He can’t breathe, he may as well be drowning on the mud he’s being pushed into–

“No.” he says with a sharp shake of his head. Whether it’s an answer to Simon’s question or a reaction to his thoughts, not even Connor himself knows.

–he takes the knife from his leg, wincing and hissing as it tears through–

No.

–loses his grip, causing him to be pinned again. He can’t move his arm. Why can’t he move his arm?–

No, no no no no no–

–it’s cold in summer..? Why is my vision so blurry? Wait, why am I alone now? No, wait! Don’t leave me! Please! I’ll do better! I promise I’ll do bet–

“Connor?!”

Connor finally snaps out of it with a small gasp, realizing that his vision really is getting blurry, but for a different reason. Crying is extremely disgraceful and impolite, especially in front of others. You have to be on your best behavior in front of people, and crying and curling up on the ground is not good behavior. He straightens up and forcibly relaxes his posture, using a single knuckle to wipe the threatening tears in the corners of his eyes. It’s now that he realizes he was beginning to hyperventilate. He needs a minute to be alone and calm himself, but he doesn’t want to be left alone. He really doesn’t want to be left alone–

Ah, but he isn’t alone right now and they won’t be leaving him, he can distantly hear them telling him that right now. Maybe there’s a chance they won’t completely avoid him in the near future. Although, for now, he needs to be fine, and his small group of allies certainly don’t see him as fine right now. He needs to calm down. He’s making a fool of himself in front of them. He needs to reassure them that he’s fine. He’ll be fine. He’ll definitely be fine–

“Connor, I’m so sorry.”

“No, it wasn’t your fault. I apologize for the way I reacted just then.” Manners are key, especially when forced to cut a conversation short. He bows his head with practiced grace, “And to answer your question, no, we weren’t ever told to fight each other with such an intent. Honestly. It– ah– we weren’t technically against each other…” He looks up at the clock on the wall; it’s nearly dinner time. “Ah, you guys came in here earlier for a reason and I just keep getting in the way. My apologies.” Markus opens his mouth to speak, but Connor doesn’t give him time. “Thank you for keeping me company, though.”

“Connor, I’m sorry for asking–”

No no no. Can’t think of that. Don’t think. It never happened. It was just a bad dream. Just think of it as a bad dream. Ritch said it would help. Amanda may lie, but Ritch doesn’t. Does he?

“No no, you’re quite alright. You didn’t know, it wasn’t your fault. It’s natural for people to be curious, and it really wasn’t that bad. I simply have a habit of over reacting to things.” Connor tries to make his following laugh sound genuine, but falls short. “Well, I should go now. Dinner will be starting soon and you still have business to attend to. I’ll see you guys later if you’re interested.”

Connor finally manages to shuffle out of the room, but he never makes it to dinner that night, even if he told Ritch he would. Despite what he just claimed, he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to talk to them again. People hate when others are large burdens, and that’s exactly what he’s becoming for them. He thought he could be better with fresh, new faces, but apparently it doesn’t work that way. It’s not how it works. It won’t ever be how it works, so it’s better to just leave them alone and let them have peace.

Ritch was right. He probably needs to start leaving Mr. Anderson alone. He understands now. Maybe he can still sit there to be alone? But why would he stay here at the base just to be alone? If he can’t even handle getting casual friends, how will he ever find a partner? And Connor’s replaceable in a way the ex-pilot is not, so they would not be nearly as patient with him.

Does that mean he needs to quit after all? What could he even do if not this? What would Ritch do? Connor’s the reason he’s even here in the first place. He’s the reason Ritch will be stuck in a life style he never particularly wanted growing up. Why can’t Connor ever do anything right? Everyone is right, he’s too naive, too childish, too quick to get too deep into things. It needs to stop. He’ll pack his things tomorrow and tell the instructors about all of this and he’ll be gone by tomorrow evening or the next morning, whenever Ritch isn’t around. If Ritch finds out he’ll definitely blame Connor and make him stay with him as payback or something. Connor can’t stay, though. He’s useless.

His room’s door opens with a creek, causing Connor to instinctively curl into himself, but he forces himself to relax and slow his breathing. If Ritch thinks he’s asleep when he gets back, he’ll leave him alone. With every footstep, adrenaline rushes through Connor. He’s distantly aware that he’s being like this because he’s afraid Ritch is going to pop out of nowhere and confront him, knowing he won’t have the energy to fight back now. They’ve been arguing all day and a good chunk of yesterday too, it’d only make sense for Ritch to try something like that.

Instead of doing so, though, Connor simply changes into sleeping clothes and climbs into bed. The main light was never turned on, so the room has been coated in darkness from the start. After some time of resting, though, there’s the creak of the door, then a click accompanied by a soft, yellow light flooding the room. It stays on for a long while before Connor hears Ritch shifting around again. This time, the other twin climbs out of the lower bunk and sounds like he’s about to put on his real clothes again, but pauses in the process.

“Connor.” The man in question can hear the stern frown in Ritch’s voice. He uses all of his self control to not stiffen because of it, but it apparently wasn’t good enough. “Connor, I know you’re up. Why didn’t you eat?” that same stern frown is likely still on his face.

Connor doesn’t move, hoping that if he keeps up the act and ignores his racing heart, Ritch will convince himself that he was just seeing things. He knows it’s not a realistic thing to hope for, but still.

“Connor, even if you weren’t up before, I know you would be by now. Why weren’t you in the food court? The others were.”

No response. He remembers what he said before in the training room, he doesn’t want to talk to anyone anymore. It just makes things worse. Besides, his throat is still a bit scratchy.

“Fine. Be a child. I don’t care. I’m not putting up with this shit anymore.”

No, wait, please don’t leave. I take it back, I’ll get better at talking so I can do it without messing up, like you can. I’ll teach myself how to respond better so I don’t have to worry about making things worse anymore. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to hate me. I don’t want anyone to hate me. I don’t want to be alone again. Please–

“Connor?” Soft footsteps creep closer. “Are you crying?” If Connor didn’t know better, he’d almost say that Ritch sounded concerned.

Before responding, he takes a shaky breath so he can speak without too many tremors in his voice. “I’m not crying.” Another, shorter breath. “It’s impolite and childish, especially in front of people.” The next breath is shakier, and definitely a give away that he’s slowly failing his attempt at not crying. “I’m fine. You need rest.”

“Connor–”

“You’re not my guardian. You don’t need to babysit me. Just let me self destruct like you said you would. It’s not even anything serious. Goodnight.” Just because his sleep schedule is going to be completely ruined, doesn’t mean Ritch’s has to be as well.

“Connor…”

He doesn’t respond.

There’s a shuffle of Ritch sitting down on the bed as he asks, “Did they ask more questions?”

“Yes, but you were there for them.” Maybe he’ll let him go to sleep if he plays along.

“Was that the only thing they asked?”

Connor sighs, annoyed. “Yes.”

“What did they ask?”

Connor finally makes himself sit up. “Ritch, I just said–”

“Connor.” If a tone of voice could paralyze, Connor wouldn’t even be able to blink.

He sighs again, this time in defeat. “If I tell you, would you let me sleep?”

“Depends on if what I’m told and if it’s a lie or not.”

Connor hesitates.

“...if I promise to tell the truth, will you leave me alone?”

“Depends on what the truth is.”

“Then no.”

Ritch jumps up from where he sat on his lower bunk. “Connor! I swear to god–”

“They brought it up, okay? God, are you happy now?”

“Brought what up, Connor? Use your words–”

“It.” he snarls, “They asked a question that made me think of when it happened. And I know you aren’t as affected by it as I am, but I can’t handle anything like you can. I just can’t...” Connor finally lets himself fall back down on his bed in a desperate attempt to hide the silent tears that are finally falling.

This time, Ritch is the one that doesn’t have a response. Good. Let him think about when it happened. Let him suffer just like Connor was trying to avoid because he’s a nosy prick.

Ritch heaves a deep sigh. “I’m sorry. I can talk to them about it tomorrow, try to calm them down. They’re probably very worried about you or both of us now.”

Connor grunts. They probably should be worried, but he knows that leaving things as they are now would only make things worse for himself in the long run.

“Connor.” Another grunt. “Please try to eat something tomorrow. I’ll talk to Luther to see if you can take tomorrow off. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“I’m not a child anymore.” he grumbles.

“No, you’re not.” he agrees softly.

Another grunt, this time followed by a heavy sigh. He won’t be getting that break. Even if he did get it, the chances of him being put in the danger zone of being sent home are more likely than most of the other trainees. If he can’t even handle being here for two days without becoming so completely and utterly useless, then what business does he have trying to be a fully-fledged pilot? None, that’s the answer.

He is distantly aware that Ritch has started trying to talk to him again, but Connor really just wants to go to sleep and forget about today, and so he does. He assumes his twin goes to bed soon after he did, though, because when he tries to wake Connor up for breakfast the next morning, he appears to be well rested. No obvious dark circles or bags under his eyes, no sluggish movements, his eyes clear. That’s good. Ritch will do just fine here. He knows how to talk like a normal human being and responds to others well. He’ll definitely find a new partner in no time.

Ritch walks out the door. Connor almost tries to get up to get ready for class, then figures that if he’s actually going to quit soon, then he may as well just stay put. Therefore, he’s still in bed by the time breakfast ends and the first class begins. No one tries to come get him. He’s not surprised, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still sting. He tries to convince himself that it’s just because Ritch told everyone that he needs a day off, but, if anything, that makes the sting in his chest worse for some reason.

He’ll try going in after lunch, after he’s had some time to settle down a bit.

After deciding on that, he goes to his dresser drawer and pulls out the small bottle of strong sleeping essential oil that Ritch and Amanda have no clue he has, let alone needs often enough for it to maybe be unhealthy. Here, he has it stuffed in the back of his dresser-locker under some clothes. He rubs a bit of it onto his foot then pulls a sock on because he doesn’t want that horrendous smell getting all over his sheets. His head doesn’t even quite make it onto the pillow properly before he’s out like a light.

Sleeping means no thinking, and no thinking means no stressing, after all, and that oil does a damn good job at knocking people out.

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A/N: Hey guys! Sorry about the long wait! I promise future updates won’t take this long! I’m just in the middle of a move and life kinda bitch slapped me outta no where there for a hot minute, but I think things are going better now. The next update probably won’t be as soon as I want it to be, but y’all won’t have to wait four months again Lol. Thank you to anyone who stuck around this long, despite me being new Heheh 😄 Thank you for reading and I hoped y’all didn’t hate it!! I absolutely promise that next chapter will be filled with lots of comfort and fluff!! 😄💖💕

#reed900 #gavin reed x rk900 #reed900 fanfic #reed900 fanfiction #reed900 au #hankcon #hankcon fanfiction #hank x connor #hannor fanfic #hannor fanfiction #dbh #dbh fanfic #dbh fanfiction #hannor au #hankcon au #slow burn #pacific rim!au #The Drift Between Us #Chapter 3

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