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#these thoughts bother me every day and well
five-rivers · 2 days
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Cracked Clay Cup Chapter 13
@greatbigolhampuckjustforme
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“Okay,” said Danny rubbing his hands together.  “I’m going to do the big group next.”
“Group number four?”
“Yeah, them.  Why’re there three of them, anyway?”
“You’ll have to ask them that,” said Clockwork.  “Au jus?”
“Yes, please,” said Danny, reaching for the small bowl of sauce.  “Your sandwiches are always really good.”
“Thank you,” said Clockwork.  “Will you be leaving after lunch, then?”
“Yeah, I think that’ll be best.”  Danny sighed.  “No offense, but I’m kind of going a little bit stir-crazy, being inside all the time.  I didn’t really realize until Pandora said something, but she was right.”
“That’s quite reasonable,” said Clockwork.  “The trial has lasted for nearly a month and a half.”
“Really?  I think I’ve only been with each person for about a week, and there’ve only been four people.  Five, if you count the Observants.”
“Yes, but you’ve spent a good amount of time here as well.  Those in-between days add up.”
“Huh.  I guess so.”  Danny took a bite of his sandwich.  “I guess it sort of snuck up on me.  A month and a half…  So two weeks here.”
“Yes, but please chew with your mouth closed.”
“Oops,” said Danny, covering his mouth.  “Sorry.”
Clockwork nodded and patted Danny absently on the head before making a small sandwich for himself.  They ate together quietly.  
“Three of them, though,” said Danny.  “Are they all together, or something?”
“You will–”
“Have to meet them and find out.  I know, I know.  Should I brush my teeth first?”
Clockwork raised an eyebrow.  
“Yeah, you’re right,” said Danny.  “That’s probably too much effort.  But I should put in some effort, shouldn’t I?”  He nodded.  “Yeah.  Toothbrushing.  Toothbrush.  One minute.”
.
Danny had been in a lot of places over the last month and a half.  A cute little house, two mansions possessed by people with questionable understandings of humanity, a warren of ice caves, an ancient Greek palace, and, of course, Clockwork’s purple place.  He’d imagined a lot of others.  Like open skies, broad fields, mountains, islands… horrible mad science labs…
However, he hadn’t imagined a place like this.
“Um,” he said, looking around the… stage?  Rats' nests of cables were strewn about in every direction, and next to the curtains hunting trophies were hung.  Heads, horns, antlers… hair?  A tail?  Whatever, this was weird, and there didn’t seem to be anyone around.  “Hi?”  He stepped forward over a tangle of cables.  “Hello?  Anyone–”
“BEHOLD!  I, TECHNUS, MASTER OF ALL TECHNOLOGY–”
Danny leaped backwards, to hover over the seating area, startled by the ghost rising out of the cables.  The stage lights came on, spotlights centering on the ghost.  He had long white hair, green skin, sunglasses built into his face, and a tattered lab coat.  
Music blasted out of speakers, rock and roll, screaming guitars, thundering drums and cymbals.  A young, gray-skinned woman with fiery blue hair rose up from under the stage.  She held a guitar painted with blue and pink flames.  
“HEYA, BABYPOP!” she shouted into a microphone that appeared in a burst of fire.  “WELCOME HOME TO MAMA EMBER, YEAH!”
“Hey!” whined the first ghost.  “You said I could do the introductions!”
“I never said that.  You said that.  I was always going to do the intros.  You think I’m going to leave it to you, when you just drone on and on and on and on and–”
“As if you’re any better!”
“I come with a sound track, audio jack,” said Ember.  
“My god, you two are so loud, and you didn’t even bother to introduce me,” said a deep, slightly hollow voice.  Danny startled again, twisting to see a ghost completely covered with silvery armor.  
“I thought you didn’t care about introductions,” said Ember.  She played a quick few chords on her guitars, then continued to use her music to punctuate her words.  “Because big, bad, baddie, bad, hunky, hottie, hunter Skulker doesn’t need an introduction.”  She leaned forward over the guitar.  “His name speaks for him!”  She started laughing so hard she floated up off the stage.  Music continued to blare from the speakers.  
“I, TECHNUS, MASTER OF ALL TECHNOLOGY, CAN TAKE YOUR SO-CALLED MUSIC OFF THE AIR!”
“We’re not even on the air!”
“I can’t believe I’m associated with these two idiots,” said Skulker.  
“I’d like to know how you’re associated with me,” said Danny, trying to smooth down his fur.  
“Isn’t it obvious, babypop?” asked Ember.  “We’re you’re parents!  Yeah!”  
“Uh,” said Danny, looking at the very strange trio.  “I don’t know about the other two, but aren’t you a little… young for that?”  She couldn’t be all that much older than Jazz.  
“I’m dead, kiddo.  Son.  Boy.  Little man.  I was a teen mom and all that.  Totally radical rockstar living.”
“With, um,” said Danny.  His eyes slid back and forth between Ember and Skulker.
“Skulker, duh,” said Ember.  “Techy here is Skulker’s boyfriend or whatever.”
“It’s not whatever.  I am his trusted–”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“We’re all dating, except when we’re broken up,” said Skulker, bored.
“Okay,” said Danny.  “So… you’re both…”  He shrugged at them.  
“What does this–” Technus also shrugged, “--mean?”
“I don’t know,” said Danny.  “You tell me.”
“Hm, the amnesia did not do favors for his intelligence!  I liked him much better before!  Do you want to see the lab?”
“The lab?” repeated Danny, backing away from Technus a little more.  
“It really didn’t help your intelligence.  Sad!  Perhaps some electroshock therapy might help?”
“Hey!” said Ember, kicking Technus’s tail.  “What did we say about electrocuting the flesh baby?  What did that narc say?  The tall purple one?”
“I know you know that Clockwork isn’t a narc,” said Skulker.  
The three of them started to bicker.  Danny watched in mixed fascination and horror.  
White hair on Technus.  Green eyes on Skulker and Ember.  Human-like appearances.  A mad science lab.  Jazz’s belief that Danny would buy the absurdly youthful mother story.  Frostbite’s conviction that his parents were abusive.  Heck, Danny could even see them meeting Vlad in college, if he fudged the ages a little.  He didn’t have any idea how old Vlad was, after all.  
Were these his actual parents?  Like, his actual, biological parents?
“Anyway, babypop,” said Ember, throwing a hand around Danny’s shoulder, “we heard about your predicament through the grapevine–”
“Through the grapevine?  Weren’t you just saying you were my mother?”
“Yeah, but I was on tour, Skulker was hunting, and Technus was… Being Technus.  We were, like, estranged.  Separated.  Because of the whole alive thing.  Fell out of touch.”  She waved a lazy hand.  “Anyway, we heard about the Observants putting you through hell, and we were like, that’s not cool.  So, we put our names in the hat, all that stuff, babypop, ‘cause we love you, y’know?  And we’re going to have so much fun.  I’ll turn you into a proper rocker yet.  You’ve got a great set of pipes, kid, and you’ve got to use that.”
“But first!” shouted Technus, at only a slightly lower volume than before.  “The GRAND TOUR!”
Danny took back that thought about the volume being lower.  
“TO THE LAB!”
Danny cringed away from Technus.  This was going to be a pain.  
.
“Okay,” said Danny, floating a few feet over the floor to avoid the wires.  “We’ve seen the stage, the sound room, the… conservatory?”
“Never say that I don’t have taste, babypop.  You’ve got to have a good piano in a house.”
“Yeah, then workshop, and the server room, and the lab.”  Which had, frankly, been horrifying.  Just a massive mess of electronics.  The sense of electricity in the room made his hair all stand on end.  “And the weapon room.  Then the… hunting.  Place.  And.  Um.  Zoo.”  Which was also horrifying, but for different reasons.
“Yes,” said Skulker, “our space may be limited, but you will soon know the joy of the hunt.”
“... right,” said Danny.  “But, like, is there a… kitchen?”
“Kitchen?” asked Ember, blankly.  
“We don’t,” said Skulker.  
“We mostly order out, when the great hunter here can’t catch anything!”
“Can anyone… get in to order out?”
Ember, Skulker, and Technus stared at each other.  
“Crap,” said Ember, finally.  “Crap.”
“What?” said Technus.  “It’s not like we have to eat.”
“I kind of do.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do.  Everyone else has been feeding me.”
“Yeah, no, we’re ghosts, even you,” said Technus.  “We don’t need to eat.”
“I can kill off some of the game I’ve already caught,” said Skulker, “if we really need to.  I’d like you to hunt for them, though.  A little extra incentive!”
“Right.  Sure.  Whatever.  Bedroom?” asked Danny.
“We don’t need to sleep, either,” said Technus.  
Fine.  Danny wasn’t touching that.  “Bathroom?” he tried.
“Gross,” said Ember.  “Who’s spending their afterlife peeing?”
“Uh.  Me?”
“Ew.  You’ve got to quit that.”
Danny didn’t think that was a thing he could actually quit.  He made a face.  “You’re not actually my parents, are you?”
“Of course we are,” said Skulker, mechanically.  
“Okay, well, that right there, that’s a lie,” said Danny.  “That’s definitely a lie.”
“It’s not,” said Technus, stridently. 
“Look, maybe some fighting would knock him out of his funk,” said Skulker.  “Knock him right out.”
“Yeah, some of that misplaced aggression kind of thing he’s always on about,” said Ember.  
Danny had no idea what he was talking about.  “You guys do know that if I can’t have a place to go to the bathroom, I’m going to leave, right?”
“Maybe even a good hunt,” said Skulker.  “For old times’ sake.  Give him a good chase, get rid of some of that anxiety.”
Danny really hoped he wasn’t related to these three.  He grabbed the pocketwatch.  
“Wait, ghost child!” 
“Okay, yeah, that’s not something you call your kids,” said Danny, pointing at Technus.  
“Oh, yeah, yeah, you caught us,” said Technus.  “Real sharp of you, ghost child!  Real sharp and groovy.”
“Oh my god, you don’t know what any of those words mean,” said Ember.  “Stop using them.”
“BUT!” shrieked Technus.  “What you don’t know is that we’re your RIVALS!”
Danny grimaced.  “What?”
“We fought you, like, a bunch of times,” said Ember. 
“And… now you want to adopt me?”
“Better us than some of the nutjobs that want you.  We’d just let you do your own thing, hang out, fight a bit when you get touchy about your stupid city, or too wound up about school, all that stuff.”
“But we’d NEVER make you go to SCHOOL!” said Technus.  “I could teach you in the lab!”
“Wow, that’s, uh.  Touching,” said Danny.  “But the bathroom thing is, in this case, a dealbreaker.”
“Aw, come on,” said Ember.  “At least have a good fight with us, first.  Skulker’s been practically moping since you’ve been out of commission.”
“My latest hunts have been… flavorless,” said Skulker.  Danny sighed.  “Fine.  But I’m going right after.”
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ninyard · 3 days
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“God, how blind can you be?”
That would be such a great line for a kevjean confession if Jean ever told Kevin abt his crush on him in the nest.
Ty, have a great day :))
You’re a genius!!! Here’s Kevin being Oblivious and Confused while Jean admits how he’s always felt about him :))
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“Can I ask you something?” Kevin lay in Jeremy’s bed, on top of the covers, with arms outstretched and his feet dangling off the edge. “But you can’t get defensive, because I’m not the one who’s wondering.”
“Now I am obligated to be defensive.” Jean was sitting on his back up against the wall on his own bed, scribbling notes in a notebook for an assignment due far too soon. Kevin had texted him earlier that morning saying that he was in town, and with Jeremy at home because it was a weekday, alongside the schoolwork Jean had started to fall behind on, the best way for the two to catch up was to invite Kevin over. “Ask, then.”
“Are you…” Kevin sat himself up to look at Jean before he continued. “Are you and Renee a thing?”
“No.” Jean laughed. “She has not told you this?”
“We aren’t that close,” Kevin shook his head. “She likes you, you know.”
Jean could feel himself blushing, but hoped his newfound tan covered the colour that spread across his cheeks. “I know. We’ve spoken about it.”
“You’ve spoken about it,” Kevin repeated as if saying it again would make it make more sense. “I thought you liked her.”
“It would never work.” Jean said. “She saved my life. It would always be hanging over the two of us.”
“Okay, sure, but…” Kevin moved to get a better view of Jean while they spoke. “You do like her?”
Jean read his face with a gentle smile, shutting his notebook and putting it to one side. “What is this about?”
His friend squinted his eyes, perhaps hoping he could get his point across telepathically without having to say it out loud. He glanced towards the door and laughed. “So you like Renee.”
“I will always love her for what she has done,” Jean said with a shrug. “But no, not so much anymore. We’re good friends.”
“Point being,” Kevin nodded with an over exaggerated, enthusiastic bob of his head. “You’re into women.”
Jean felt his face fall, as if Kevin had forgotten his name, or forgotten which position he played in. He scoffed, half a laugh and half disbelief, “You can’t be serious.”
“Am I right?”
“Kevin, you can’t be serious.” Jean echoed, and Kevin furrowed his eyebrows as if he had any right to be confused. “Where has this come from?”
“A friend of a friend wants to know,” Kevin brushed that off, and continued his staring stand-off with Jean. “Why would I not be serious?”
Jean gestured around himself, not even able to come up with a simple answer to his question. Jean was never bothered about the labelling of his sexuality, but had been bothered by its display. At least, publically, he thought, which just translated to not in front of Riko. Not Kevin, never Kevin. Kevin had known, or so he thought, about his infatuations and fleeting glances at the men he thought were handsome. Kevin had known about himself, and how it made Jean feel every time he heard the sweet sound of his native tongue falling from his lips.
“You…” Nothing felt good enough, and Jean laughed at the absurdity of it all. “You know it’s not just women, Kevin.”
Kevin blinked. “Do I?”
“Those foxes have rotted your brain,” Jean switched to French, ever so slightly startling Kevin out of his confused daze. “I knew you had moved on from the nest, but I did not think you would have forgotten so much about me.”
“Well, in my defense,” Kevin responded in his learned language, and Jean melted a little bit more inside. “Jeremy asked you if you were into men, and you never answered him, so he assumed he’d read you wrong.”
“Jeremy?” Jean spat in a failed whisper. “What does Jeremy have to do with this?”
Kevin became even more confused. “Who else would it have anything to do with?”
“Don’t play stupid,” Jean shifted his position to sit closer to the edge of the bed. “You know it has everything to do with you.”
“Me?” He said in English, as if wary he’d gotten the translation wrong. He continued in French. “Okay, there must be a miscommunication here.” He switched back to English then, as he started to stumble over his French, suddenly self conscious that he was not speaking correctly. “I’m lost, Jean.”
“I have always been open with you,” Jean said. “I have never hidden from you my interests in men and women. Why would you pretend not to know that?”
Kevin open and closed his mouth a few times, his hands outstretched, waiting for the answer to fall into them. “I didn’t know that.”
Jean shut his eyes to process what Kevin was saying. Perhaps Jean had simply given his intelligence far too much credit, and he had not been as clear to Kevin as he’d imagined he’d been. He thought that impossible, with their shared glances on a lonely night, with their comfort of each other when Riko wasn’t looking. “Some of them you like,” Jean quoted something he’d said to him before. “You said this about the Trojans. If you were not talking about the striker, then who were you talking about?”
“Like, as in,” Kevin’s smile was more genuine than awkward, apparently finding some amusement out of the confusion. “A fan of. You like someone. They interest you. You’re as much of a Jeremy fan as I am. I didn’t think you were into him.”
“And you were not.” Jean didn’t pose it as a question, more of a statement, an answer for himself.
“He’s not bad to look at, don’t get me wrong,” Kevin laughed at the thought. “But not like that. He’s just a really good friend.”
Jean pinched his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. He heard Kevin’s movement and felt the weight on the bed next to him as he sat down. When Jean opened his eyes, he had to look away, far too intoxicatingly reminded of his buried thoughts about Kevin.
“Jean,” Kevin pulled his attention back to him, and Jean forced himself to look into his eyes. “Why did you say it has everything to do with me?”
“God,” Jean clicked his tongue in pity, either for himself for being so stupid to think Kevin knew, or at Kevin for not noticing. “How blind can you be?”
“You had a crush on me.” Kevin’s voice was neutral. “You never told me.”
Jean sighed with a hesitant smile. “I thought I did.”
It felt like an age before Kevin decided to respond. It felt like the season had passed, like a year in Raven time had gone by, before he spoke. It was hard to ignore the blush that crept across his lightly freckled cheeks, as Jean found himself fixated on the chess piece on his cheekbone. They were too close, now, and he could feel himself burning up with the shame of it all.
“I didn’t know.” It was simple, not enough, but perhaps the best he could do. “For how long?”
Jean couldn’t help the twitch that spread up his face, “You are the one interested in history, not me.”
“Humor me.”
“For as long as I have known you, Kevin Day.” His eyebrows raised in surprise at that answer. Whatever he’d been expecting, it wasn’t that.
“Oh,” was all he could say. He couldn’t find a smile that would sit comfortably on his face, and Jean wasn’t sure whether his fidgeting was discomfort or not.
“I never expected anything to come from it,” he attempted to clear the air. “I assumed you knew and simply decided not to address it. Looking back, it’s best you didn’t know, then, I think.”
“You don’t have to say that.” Kevin’s voice was low as he racked his brain for evidence to support Jean’s truth. “I wish you’d told me.”
“To feed your ego?” Jean laughed. “To make a straight man feel better to know he is desirable from either side?”
“You don’t have to say that, either.” Kevin spoke in French like it were a secret. “I’m with Thea now, sure, but,” he struggled. “I’m not exactly, you know… strict about it. It’s just easier this way.”
The only thing Jean could do was look at him.
The only thing he could bear to think was all the times he’d whispered in Jean’s ear, and Jean had to hide the shiver that travelled down his spine at the heat of the words thats he spoke. He thought of Kevin’s hands around his waist as he forced him into position on the court, a quick touch, an order to be better, a demand to be where he needed him to be. Then there was the blood, and the spit running down his chin, black hair stuck to sweat and tears as he cried please, Jean. Take him away from here. He thought of exposed bone and blood trickling through the cracks on the locker room floor, or a cracked skull against a door frame when he found Riko afterwards. There was the note, a single sloppy word, poorly written by a hand that had never wrote before. Sorry. The paper had been marked with Kevin’s blood, and it would be the last thing he would hear from him for months.
Kevin had stopped Jean’s hands before he noticed them travelling up his own throat.
“For the record, there is only one reason why nothing would have come from it,” Kevin meant it as a comfort, and Jean felt his heart break a little bit more. “But it’s the same reason it never would have worked.”
Jean was not naive, either. He was smart enough to know there was no universe in which any sort of relationship with Kevin would have been realistic. He was a beautiful face during a time that was rarely beautiful, a face that patched him up when he was black and blue, a face that smiled and joked at him when all he wanted was an end to the suffering. “I know.” Jean said, acutely aware that Kevin had not let go of his hands, even as they rested between them on the bed. “You will always be my first love, but I am smart enough to know that is meaningless now.”
“Maybe so,” Kevin looked at their hands. “But it could have been fun.”
“Fun, he says,” Jean scoffed, and Kevin laughed one of his genuine laughs, the tension in the room dissipating with the sound of his joy. Jean pulled his hand away from Kevin’s, to cover his face. He could feel himself blushing at the thoughts of what fun could have meant. “And what would you have done, asked the king to leave your room for an hour?”
It was Kevin’s turn to blush then, as he laughed again. Jean tried to push down the resurfacing feelings as he wondered what he could’ve possibly been imagining. “We would have found a way.” His laugh died off with a wistful sigh. “Somehow.”
“Somehow.” Jean agreed.
Kevin let the silence hang for just a moment before he gently reached up to touch Jean’s tattoo, then letting his hands fall back to his sides. “Maybe in another life.”
Jean swallowed and let out a soft exhale. “Maybe.”
They spent far too long just looking at each other, imagining what could have happened in that other life, wondering how it could’ve been different. Kevin eventually got back to the point of his conversation, and after laughing about how Jean has a thing for strikers, and how Kevin had never actually had a crush on Jeremy, Jean ignored his study for the flowing conversations he’d missed so badly. It was true that Kevin had been his first love, and he would be lying to himself if he said it would ever go away, but they had been each other’s only friend for so long. It was a long overdue catch-up without the threat of violence for laughing too loud, or sitting too close together. He didn’t pretend not to notice the way Kevin’s eyes flicked to his lips every now and again, or how quickly he would look away when he caught himself doing so. It was difficult to ignore how his cheeks turned rosy then, and even more so difficult to ignore how much he’d forgotten how beautiful Kevin really was.
For just a single, simple moment Jean wondered what it would be like to kiss him. That was a thought that had not crossed his mind for a very, very long time. Jean pictured a timeline in which they were both able to give it a shot without immeasurable guilt, or shame, or fear over the court of public opinion. He found himself being reminded over and over again that Kevin had finally said it himself that his sexuality was a fluid thing. There were more reasons that not to write it off as a wrong place, wrong time kind of issue, but even with the stomach churning, butterfly inducing thought of Jeremy Knox and his callused hands, it was certain that Kevin would always be his greatest what-if.
It was a pity that they would both continue on with their lives not knowing what could have been, but perhaps for the best; they were both at points in their lives where, for the first time ever, they were happy. They were not constantly glancing over their shoulders waiting for a threat.
Maybe in another life, Jean told himself. Maybe in some other world.
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zygomantic · 2 days
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Nanami comforting a sad/depressed fem reader after he comes home from work. (Had a horrible day/week and need any kind of comfort)
A/n: Honestly same. Always happy to provide comfort, thank you for your request! This is very short but it is what it is. Also, reader could be considered gender neutral.
You're not alone.
Synopsis: Your husband Nanami comes home from work and finds you crying on the couch. He helps you through it.
Content Warnings: Mentioned Depression, negative thoughts
You blankly stared at the TV, which by now had been running for multiple hours. You'd spent your hours flicking through channels and streaming services, hoping to find anything interesting to pass the time until your husband came home.
Your frustration grew the longer you searched. Why did this have to be so complicated? Fuck, it just added to the pile shit that didn't work like you wanted to. Your job was stressing you out and you knew the next months weren't going to be any more relaxed. Nanami was just as busy, mission after mission keeping him away from home. You missed him but didn't fault him for doing his job.
Since this morning you were feeling down, and though you'd struggled with depression in the past, it usually didn't creep up this fast or suddenly. You knew very well that you were still recovering and that recovery wasn't a linear process, but a small part of you felt disappointed in yourself for feeling like this again.
Or maybe you felt comfortable like this. It was so easy, so familiar. If you were really on the way back to depression, you didn't think you had any strength left to pull you out of it again and forcing Nanami to help you made you feel selfish. It wasn't his problem that your mind was broken and your thoughts shitty.
It was all too much and your nose started burning, then your eyes watered and you didn't bother stopping the tears as they escaped. A headache had begun to form in the back of your head and you just sobbed harder.
By the time a key turned in the front door lock your face was soaked with tears and your eyes were red and puffy. You must've looked horrible, because Nanami's eyes furrowed as he walked into the room and saw you. You hadn't even hear him call out your name when he entered, too absorbed in your thoughts.
Nanami didn't bother hanging up his jacket, just dropped it to the floor and immediately made his way over to you. His hand was on your back, rubbing soothing circles into it as he tried to figure out what was wrong. First, however, he needed you to breathe.
"Darling, can you hear me?" His voice must've registered somewhere in your mind because you nodded, despite having already forgotten what he asked. "Good," he said, continuing his comforting. "I need you to breathe, dear. You remember the box breathing, right?" Another nod. "Alright. Now breathe in for four," he instructed and you tried to follow, not counting the seconds but still trying. "Hold for four," you did, "and exhale for four. Now pause for four."
It became easier after the first minute and Nanami walked you through every second of it. Once you'd gotten your breathing back under control, new tears threatened to escape at the though of how much of a burden you were. Always making him take care of you like you're a child or baby, how embarrassing.
"Don't." You looked up at your husband in confusion. "I can tell when you're thinking poorly of yourself. Don't do that. Please."
Your voice was quiet as you answered. "Okay." You pulled your legs up under the blanked and curled up into a ball.
Nanami's hand was still rubbing your back. "Can you tell me what caused this? What's going on? "
"I'm sorry. Sorry." Tears streaked down your face and Nanami's warm, big hand swiped them away carefully.
"There's nothing to be sorry for. We all have our off days. I'm sorry yours had to be today." His voice was so deep, so comforting, almost like a light to cling to while the rest of the world was trying to drown you.
"Work's just been..." You trailed off, not really wanting to think about all the things you had to do and the insane amount of paperwork that had to filed until the end of the not to mention the coworker that-
"Stressful?" His voice ripped you out of your thoughts again. "I get what that's like. Is there anything I can do to help?"
"I- just don't leave. Please. I don't want to go back to feeling like I did months ago. I can't- I-" Your throat closed up just speaking about theast time your depression hit you hard.
"I'm not letting you do this alone. I promise." His hand pulled you into his body for a hug and you melted into him. "I'm here for you. Always."
"Thank you." He almost didn't hear you, you were so quiet. "Thank you so much."
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supercalime · 2 hours
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hellooo, fellow bucktommy shipper (and casual b*ddie enjoyer, if it weren't for the horrors...) here! i really liked your take on b*ddie st*ns and how they are now making super wild assumptions based on some latest interviews.
you know one thing that irks me? somehow nobody seems to talk about is the fact that in canon, buck isn't written to be in love with eddie at all. like, can we please talk about this??? because I'm all for Death Of The Author. OS can talk about ships all he wants but in the end, only the canon narrative matters to me personally. i've watched long-form content with endgame couples being set up in the pilot episodes who become canon many seasons later (bones, castle, grey's anatomy, the mentalist, etc.), and the entire point of such couples is to establish that, yes, they have been having romantic feelings all this time since day one. they do so very very obviously. there is zero subtlety or room for questioning.
one of the most common tropes is to give one or both characters (of the endgame couple) another love interest so that the endgame couple can be full of jealousy and pettiness every time that other love interest is mentioned or shown. having another love interests always endangers the original closeness of the endgame couple, and then the breakup propels the endgame couple forward in their relationship. the love interest is always used for comparisons, to make it abundantly clear that everybody else is lacking in some way. at no point in 911 did they do so with buck and eddie??? these dudes go through various romantic relationships, and never ever has it been any issue to the b*ddie dynamic. never was it talked about. never were hints dropped that one of them is jealous. even now, with bucktommy, eddie shows not a single ounce of jealously. on the other side, look at how they showed us buck being obviously jealous because eddie monopolized tommy's time even though buck wanted tommy time himself! buck couldn't stand the jealousy even a little bit, and he ended up literally hurting his bestie because of it. but whenever eddie is involved romantically and sexually with someone, there are zero signs that buck is bothered or threatened or jealous. they both seem super chill? they do not question at any point that them dating other people might hurt their relationship? logically, that must mean buck's never wanted to be romantically or sexually involved with eddie (and vice versa). at it's core, b*ddie has been written as a friendship. to this day, we have no canon proof for anything else.
i would not hate b*ddie to happen or anything. i do enjoy b*ddie fics (those that aren't super misogynist ♥). and i think it could be a great couple if done well! but as you said, even when buck thought eddie was hot... well, so what? that's literally just an objective observation. RG is handsome based on societal standards. chim and hen also immediately acknowledged that eddie was hot in 2x01, and both of them are Not At All romantically or sexually attracted to eddie either. nobody is questioning chim's or hen's sexuality based on the comments they made about eddie being hot. because nothing about this equals real romantic feelings or the desire to be in a relationship. the fandom understands that logic just fine with chim and hen. why not with buck, though? also, we have yet to see a reversed moment for eddie staring at buck and finding him hot. they had no problem to show eddie Immediately having a crush on ana flores when he first met her. this shows that eddie feels sexual attraction just fine. he was, however, never shown in canon to feel it for buck.
also interesting: even though buck found eddie hot when they first met, it did not trigger buck to seriously question his sexuality at any point in the past like, 5 years or so. in all those years of canon b*ddie friendship, the show has never used the plethora of opportunities to propel b*ddie into romantic or sexual territory. the show could have! but the show never did, so i refuse to let b*ddie st*ns or OS retcon this. if it's not in the canon material, it isn't canon. with tommy, it took only a couple of weeks and a handful of interactions for buck to reach a point of clarity about his sexuality. the most logical deduction imo is that buck simply clocked that eddie's hot (like everybody else, duh, he isn't special in that regard), and it's never meant anything deep.
my only real probem with this entire situation is how hardcore b*ddie st*ns are now using this as a justification to harass others even more (especially bucktommy shippers). i'd love to enjoy canon bucktommy and fanon b*ddie in peace! but the hate that b*ddie st*ns are spreading everywhere again (like with every new season and newly introduced love interest) is so overwhelming.
sorry for the long ass rant btw oopsie. feel free to ignore this. i just wanted to let it out and it seemed like you would understand. anyway, thanks for reading in case you got this far!
I’d never ignore a sensible take, anon! (I feel bad that you had to go anon but I understand. We know the drill by now, some stans are scary lol)
But like, ALL OF THIS!!!
Discourse like this is what takes away the enjoyment of media for me. It sucks that fandom experience can have two very extreme opposing sides, specially when it comes to two “competing” ships. You can kinda tell by how bucktommy shippers behave (I’m not trying to flex at all because I am one. A good majority of us has zero problem with b*ddie endgame even though we prefer the other. We like what we are getting and are happy to see this storyline play out) compared to b*ddie shippers (of course not all of them, I’m talking about the entitled ones. That clog comment sections, bother actors, go to the other ships tag to complain about it and say how their preferred ship is better, etc).
Im not immune to bad takes and bad fan behavior. Ive surely acted like these stans in other fandoms and i do regret it, so i hate seeing it happen again and again, no matter where i go.
Not to quote mean girls, but I wish we could all get along…
All that being said, whichever ship “wins”, it’s no one’s call but the writers and producers of the show. Someone told me that Tim writes for himself and doesn’t take outside factors (at least to an extent cause it’s impossible to not know the fan reaction) into consideration when it comes to where he wants the story to go.
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cosmic-crybaby · 2 days
Text
Break My Heart Again - Tommy Shelby x Reader
Part 5
Summary: After being childhood friends, you and Thomas made a promise one day to get married, but when he returned from France, he came back a completely different man.
Warnings: Angst with a happy ending.
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1934, soon after Tommy's' battle had ended. Three more Shelby's' dead, and one less evil he had to worry about right now. His second wife, Lizzy Stark, was nowhere to be seen and was never found. Neither was his son, Charles. After the alleged affair with Diana Mosley, she left Tommy behind. As he did with the rest of his family.
So, where was he now?
Ireland. Finding himself knocking at the door of the home he knew she resided in. The sun was barely breaking through the forever gloom of the grey clouds, he shoved his hands in his pockets as he turns around, looking at the green grassy hill, cattle grazing the lawns minding their own.
"Who are you?" The voice came from behind him. Tommy moved his body, eyes snapping down in front of him to see a young girl. Around the age of four or five, standing in the threshold of the doorway. Her head was slightly tilted, as she peered up at him with her big eyes. Tommy tried to find the words, as he was speechless. She looked almost identical to Charles.
"I...I am um..." He began to speak, but footsteps cut him off and made him look up again. The front door was pulled open.
And then she appeared. His last breath got caught in his throat when his eyes fell on her. She looked even more beautiful than the day he saw her. The day she left and the day he found her, all those months later. Seeing her up close again, made him feel like he was frozen. His mind was buzzing with a myriad of questions, apologies, excuses. She wore a house dress, her hair was pulled into a bun, pieces of hair framing her slim face.
"[Name]," Tommy said. His voice made her eyes quickly snap up from the young girl to him. She froze for a moment as she saw who was waiting for her. She never thought she would see THE Thomas Shelby...ever again. Everything else seemed to disappear when she locked eyes with him.
"Mummy...who is this?" The girl pulled on her mothers dress, breaking the silence.
[Name] managed to break her eyes away first to see her daughter, Maeve, looking between the two adults in confusion.
"Darling...this is an old friend...Tommy Shelby,"
Old Friend was an odd way to put it. Knowing they were nowhere near that title, it made Tommy chuckle a bit. But the label would do for now. The young girl nods once and smiled up at the tall man.
"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Shelby," Maeve spoke before turning to her mother.
"You as well, darling," Tommy managed a small smile. [Name] cleared her throat and kneeled down a bit to talk to Maeve.
"Maeve, can you be a big girl and go check on Cian for me? make sure he's still asleep," She suggested, knowing that she didn't want the children to be around while she talked with Tommy. The girl nods with determination, exiting the area and down the hall. [Name] takes a deep breath and moves away from the door.
"Come in,"
The inside of the Byrne estate was large, clean, and full of light. Nothing compared to what Tommy had at Arrow house, but it somehow had the same comfort. The two sat across from each other at the dining table. Tommy would tell it was well crafted and made from the hands of the Tall brunette man he saw before. Neither Tommy nor [name] knew what to say to each other. It felt like hours had passed as they were locked in each others gaze.
"You found me..." She stated.
"I did...I came looking for you, everywhere...Turing to every connection I had...I had to find you [name], " He answered her, not bothered how desperate he sounded.
Because deep down he knew he was.
"Why now?" She questioned. "After all these years,"
"I wanted to apologize, for everything I had done and put you through...I'm sorry for lying, for the things that I left out, for leaving you...everything. You deserved to know, more than anyone," Thomas answered, his words rang in your ears, holding as much sincerity as they can.
The woman across from him nods, her face didn't change as she stared at him. Her glaze bouncing from his eyes to his lips to the worn hands he placed on the table.
"I had wished you well and vouched to never lay my eyes on you again, yet here you are apologizing to me again...You sure made a name for yourself Tommy," She commented, a small smile forming on her face. She couldn't lie, she was proud of him. "It wasn't uncommon around here, my late husband would speak of it every now and then, I would have to pretend like I didn't know who you were,"
"Late husband?...my condolences,"
[Name] nods once and held her hand up for a moment to stop him from going on further.
"He passed just last year, consumption...Maeve was only four and Cian was barely a year," She informed him, a lump caught in her throat and a gloss in her eyes. A knowing look formed on Tommy's features, he would know all about loss.
Greta, Grace, John, Polly, and Ruby.
"Do you have anyone for yourself now?" She asked, changing her subject.
"I did...remember Lizzie Stark?"
[Name] nods, and refrained from rolling her eyes. After she had exposed Tommy for who he really was, she found out about his secret relationship with his assistant. Leaving her spiraling under the realization that again, he chose another woman that wasn't her.
"We got married and had a daughter, Ruby...she's gone now, also consumption, after everything had happened, Lizzie took Charles and left,"
Silence had fallen between them, but it wasn't daunting...it was comfortable. She didn't know what else to say...what else could she really say? She looked at the dining table, her nail slightly digging into its' surface while Thomas held his gaze on her for a moment, admiring her beauty and how, even now, she still looked as youthful as ever. He ultimately made the decision to break the silence between them.
"I don't want to waste any more of your time...Just know what I am still sorry," He said to her, shifting as he felt the heartbreak hit him and standing from the dining table. She said nothing as she heard his chair scrape against the floor, and his footsteps leading him to the foyer. An inch away from grabbing the door handle before he caught her voice calling for him.
"Tommy wait!"
He quickly turned around. Their hearts pounding as she stood in front of him. She looked like she wanted to spill something to him. Tell him everything that she had held away. Her eyes searched his until he asked a simple: 'what is it?' in a breathy tone. Her lips quivered as she tried to find the words. For once, she was speechless in front of him.
"Maeve...she's not..." [name] started. She took a deep breath and Thomas found himself holding her shaking hands in his. She swallows and nods once as he looks into her eyes. 'Breathe'.
"My husband, Andrew, he didn't know...For Christ sake I tried to keep it from him all these years and after he passed, I feel guilty even now...but, Maeve she's not his...she's yours Tommy," Tears pricked her eyes. Tommy stared with wide eyes. He couldn't question her, the time added up, he saw what her late husband looked like and he saw what her daughter looked like. He could recognize those ice-like eyes anywhere. Licking his dry lips, he sighs heavily.
"I know..." He mumbled. "I could see the Shelby resemblance in her when I saw her...I didn't want to believe it at first...but after looking at her again, I saw it,"
She wanted to call an objection to his words but decided to keep her mouth shut, knowing that the Shelby's liked to keep their pride.
Even if it was an exaggeration.
Silence fell between them once again. Tommy steps closer, grabbing one of [names] hands. His hands were ice hold and hers were warm like the flames that roared in the fireplace.
"I'd like to see you again, [Name]" He told her, a ghost of a smile forming on his lips.
"There is a lot of catching up that we need to do...," She looked down at their intertwined hands. Thomas reaches for the woman's other hand. His gaze softened as he drew in closer, her lids closed slowly as his cold, cracked lips connected with her soft and plump lips. Her heart ignited, that small flame that slowly gave out when her husband passed suddenly blew up. Except this time, it was a different type of love. This version of Thomas Shelby was...new.
The woman tried to keep calm as the gangster pulled away from the kiss, afraid he wouldn't be able to stop once he got started.
"Very well then," Giddy on the inside as she kept her smile small.
"I'll see you tomorrow," He told her calmly, one hand rubbing up and down her arm before he took his leave.
The days and weeks to come, Tommy got along well with Maeve. The more the two got along, the more [Name] saw the resemblance. Cian was more attached to his mother by the hip, usually shadowing her until he was familiar enough with Thomas's presence. With the two in bed together one night, [Name] lifts her head as she felt Thomas digging through his nightstand.
"What are you doing?" She asked curiously as she tried to look in the drawer as well. Thomas held the object in his hand, closing his hand into a fist as he laid back down and looked at his beautiful girl.
"I found this, a few months ago...before I came to see you," He started. "Everything else was destroyed, but I kept this because I knew I would find you again one day, and give it to you..."
"Come on, Tommy what is it?" She asked, sitting up on her knees, trying to reach for his hand. He pulled his hand away and gave her a look. 'Wait' It said.
"No matter what happened between us, I knew I would come back to you, even after all these years...all of this pain...it has always been you...I'm so sorry it took me all this time to realize it," He told her. He grabbed her hand with his free hand and slipped the gold ring on her finger. It still fight like a glove, maybe even more-so now. In awe, she watched as he slipped the ring on her finger. It was cold on her warm skin, causing goosebumps to form on her arms.
"Thomas...?" She gasped. Looking at him, then at the ring, then at him again as her eyes were wide, tears forming in her eyes.
"[Name]…will you do me the honor of marrying me?" He asked. It made her think back to their childhood and that promise they made for each other.
"Oh Thomas...yes," She nods happily. Not hesitating to jump into his arms and kiss him like there was no tomorrow.
"I've loved you from the start,"
---
[Tag List]
@mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @milljane @cyphah @diosa-ahre-blog @badlandsbrunette @adaydreamaway08 @namelessghoul0 @deltamoon666 @cherryslyce @calmingmelody96 @bruher @galactict3a @soulmates8 @angelofdarkness2468
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genderlessdude92 · 2 days
Text
HEAVENLY DRINKS
CHAPTER 2
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PAIRINGS: Alastor x F!Reader
SUMMARY: In this chapter, the protagonist finds themselves in a confrontation with Alastor, known as the Radio Demon. Vox, another character, intervenes, leading to a tense exchange. Later, the protagonist returns home, reflecting on their fame and current situation. Alastor is just annoying.
WARNINGS: MINORS DNI. Mature Content, Sensitivity, Alcohol use, like HEAVY, (It was noted in the intro that reader is an alcoholic but gets better throughout the story), Verbal Altercations, Implied Violence, Character Behavior, Sexual References, News Media, Emotional Turmoil, Cliffhanger.
NOTICE: please don't steal/copy/translate my work. But thanks for liking it, though!! ^^ Posting chapter every friday but this one is early! Asks are always open, but i can’t get to all of them at the same exact time so if yours is answered right away…You might be lucky 🙏
WORDS: 2.9k
HEAVENLY DRINKS MASTERLIST
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The waitress squeaked out of fear and ran to Lucifer knows where, clearing the space of view between you two.
‘Fuckin’ wimp.” You thought.
“No manners these days, am i wrong?” The deer said, turning his head to face yours.
You snapped out of your trance, “Uh…I was doing just fine my myself.”
“I could tell.” he smirked, “You must be pretty desperate to drink every single type of liquor in here.”
You raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”
“Well,” he replied, “For starters, you were naming those liquors from the top of your head like the songs in your albums..”
You only blinked.
“Secondly, you’re dressed like a prostitute. Thirdly, you’re not even wearing a bra,” He cleared his throat, “Fo-”
“What gives you the fuckin’ right to call me out like that?!” You argue, “Do you know who I am, fuckin’ asshat?!”
Alastor’s demeanor shifted more eerie, along with the lights in the establishment, “Do you know who I am?” He retorted, “I think somebody needs a quick lesson since they’ve missed some classes, shall we?” He asked, sizing up his form.
You snarled, “You cocky…”
“What the fuck is going on here?!” A loud voice yelled from the entrance.
Both of your heads turned to meet a vision on Vox standing at the entrance, clearly fuming.
“…Why the fuck-“ He points his claw to you, “are you doing he-“ He then snaps his like of view to Alastor, “I-what the fuck?!”
You started to laugh like a child, only now you were a drunk-full-grown-not-mentally-stable-and-not-currently-alive-adult.
Until Alastor slapped you on the back of your head to stop.
“My office, now!”
***
Vox’s office was dimly lit, with soft jazz music playing in the background. The walls were adorned with paintings of various musicians, and shelves lined with books and trophies. A large desk dominated the room, with a sleek computer monitor and stacks of papers piled high on its surface.
Alastor sat across from Vox, observing the scene before him. He seemed to find this situation amusing for some reason.
But you certainly didn’t.
This was not how you wanted your first day out to go.
“What do you want from me?” Alastor asked, his tone casual. “I’m already banned from this fine establishment, am i not?” He chortled.
“That’s the fuckin’ problem,” He slammed his fist on the desk, “I don’t even know why i bothered to bring you in here.” He growled.
Vox then shifted his eyes to you, “-and you.” he added, “You shouldn’t even be showing your face here. do you know how mad i am at you?!” He yelled in your face sparks igniting in his antennas.
“…What.” You gave him a droopy smile.
He groaned, “How much drinks did she have, fuckin’ hell-“
“-34, my good sir.” Alastor intervened.
You chuckled, “No, i had like, 4 shots.”
“Well, you must be mistaken, because i counted 34 drinks.” Alastor corrected, bending his neck slightly.
“Wh-hold on, why were you watch-“
“Enough! That is not what we are talking about.” Vox yelled, standing up from his seat to show authority.
After a surprising moment of silence, he continued, “Y/N, You literally vanished from sight a day before we had a massive show planned at my convention center,” Vox answered, sitting back down, “I know you weren’t told that you aren’t welcome here, but you aren’t and it should be obvious.”
You stayed silent for a moment, getting sober by the second. How long ago was that?
“…Sorry.” You crossed your arms.
“Now you see how none of you are allowed here?” He folded his hands on his desk, looking down and sighing in stress.
“…Yeah, yeah.” You said.
***
Walking out of the building, you jumped slightly when you felt a claw on your shoulder.
“You really don’t remember who I am, little lady?” Alastor said, turning your shoulders to face him.
You looked up slowly, relaxing the alcohol in your body, “No, i know you. Just thought it was funny.” You put a hand on your hip. “You used to put my songs in your broadcast in intermissions, if i remember correctly”
He laughed, “My highest point of listeners.” He grinned.
“I don’t remember much, though,” You admitted, scratching your cheek. “Kinda what i was wanting las’ couple of years.”
“I’d imagine.” He replied, “Drinking every night for forty years isn’t healthy, even for someone like you.” He scoffed, still
plastering the same grin on his face.
“wh- ‘someone like me?’” You questioned.
He sighed, “Look, i know you haven’t been seen for a while, but that doesn’t mean that we forgot about you, if that’s what you’ve been wanting.” He clarified, “You’re a well known woman, but you’ve had…issues since you were alive.”
“good way to bring down the mood,” You scoffed, “i thought we were just getting along, y’know?”
He laughed, “That would be a headline, for sure.”
You tilted your head in confusion, “You’re weird.”
“You’re drunk.” He claimed back.
You growled, about to bite back, but he cut you off, “It seems our time here is up,” He said, now looking at his watch (that clearly does not exist) on his wrist, “My radio show starts in little over ten minutes. Ta-Ta!” He waved goodbye, walking past you.
You began to walk over to him, to give some piece of mind to him, but he then materialized into the shadow.
“Piece of trash…” You muttered, beginning to walk away from the building.
***
As you unlocked the door to your manor, you can’t help but wonder why, after all these years, people still remembered you?
You stepped inside, kicking your heels off.
That was the whole point in rotting in this trash bin, anyways. You couldn’t have all this fame, it wasn’t ethical.
You tossed your fur coat into the laundry room.
And on top of that, you were banned from one of your favorite places. who the fuck does that? He’s just jealous-
You plopped your body onto the plush couch, not bothering about the feeling of your dress riding up your thighs, as you would’ve.
“-yeah, jealous,” You said aloud, “He’s a fucking television, I’m full bodied. I’m a legend and he’s just a piece of trash.”
you scavenged around the coffe table’s under-cabinets until you found a half empty bottle of wine-
…and let’s not forget that stupid deer.
“After all the fucking fame i probably got him, he just treats me like imp-shit. I was just tryna be friendly, start a little fake fight, but noooo-“
You took a large swig of your bottle.
“He just had to get me in trouble, embarrass me, and walk away as if nothing fucking happened.”
You sighed.
You looked at the bottle that was now empty.
…And think if… you did this to yourself?
“…Nah.”
You take off your jewelry, take off your clothes until you were in a bra and panties, and sprawl yourself on your couch, reaching for the remote and turning on your television.
“He’s probably getting… bullied on the news or somethin’.” You muttered to yourself, laughing softly.
Swapping through news networks-
…Oh fuck.
“Famous singer and dancer star from back in the day, Y/N (or stage name idk), Has returned to the bustling streets of the pentagram after 40 fucking years of an absence!” Katie said clenching her script sheet in hand with a shit-eating smile on her face.
You always felt bad for that other guy next to her…
-That’s not the point.
“…apparently, she got into a little fight with the infamous Radio Demon we all know and hate, Alastor! Talk about the conversation of a 40 years!” She added as a laughing track played.
You cringed, “Fuckin’ bitch.”
“But that’s not all! Apparently, this has caused quite the uproar among the fans of the two. Some are worried that our beloved star may never return to performing again, and is just scavenging for some drinks and dicks! While others are ecstatic that she has finally reappeared after such a long time.”
“…Fucking hell, m’ not dealing with this.”
“In other news-”
You turned off the tv, tossing your remote onto the floor.
“Her boobs are so fuckin’ fake, I hate that bitch.” You ranted, Stretching your back and staring at the ceiling.
“…Let’s see, ok…I’m out of books to read.” You noted, “…No more alcohol in this stupid jail cell of a shit hole…” You noted as well, “…and I’m all over the news now…”
After a moment of contemplating life, you sit up again and go to your room.
“I should go to another bar…a really expensive one…” You muttered, immediately rummaging through your closet.
“…I have a lot of money anyways…” You grinned, “Probably more than that stupid dear. I could probably hunt him and eat him…it would taste…” You looked down to your naked body for a moment, thinking, “…like…if it were medium rare, really good…”
“-What was that?” a static voice asked from across the walk-in closet.
“What the fuck?!-“ You turned around, covering your boobs, “How the fuck did you get into my house, pervert?!”
“I’m sorry, dear. But I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re saying.” Alastor said, crossing his arms, “And for the record, I’m far from a pervert.” He said, squinting his eyes.
“How the fuck did you get in here?!” You demanded.
“Well, you see-“
“No, no. No explanations. Get the fuck out of my house, perverted demon!” You yelled, throwing a shoe at him.
He caught it without effort and stared at you with his red eyes, “Excuse me? You…just asked me why I was-“
You narrowed your eyes, “Oh my gosh, you are so annoying, i can do see how Vox hates you now…” You groan, looking for a robe.
“…You know,” he began as you continued to search, “There’s a saying that goes along the lines of, ‘Drunk men say wise words’ I believe?” He questioned aloud to himself, “…I don’t think that goes for women.”
As you tied a robe around your waist you put your hands on your hips and looked at him. “What are you doing here.” You asked.
“…” Alastor waited silently.
“…Like…actually.” You clarified.
Alastor nodded, “I came to make sure you were alright.” He said simply, “You were rather intoxicated earlier today.”
“…”
“…And you were also not wearing anything under the dress, it kept slipping off.” He added, adding an awkward laugh to it.
“…”
“…So, naturally, I was concerned for your safety.” He finished.
“…”
“…Was it something I said?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.
“…”
“…Or maybe it was the fact that you threw your shoes at me.” He stated bluntly.
“…Wait- why would it be about the shoes?”
Alastor smiled, “Never mind, it sounds much nicer in here when it’s down one voice.”
You scoffed, “What the fuck is your problem? didn’t you come over here to check in on me?”
“Yes, that is correct.”
You rolled your eyes, “Then why are you acting like an ass all the sudden.”
“Actually…” He pondered for a moment, “…I was hoping you would… join me for dinner.” He replied casually.
You raised a brow, “Dinner?”, You said flatly, crossing your arms.
“Yes,” Alastor confirmed. “I’ve…prepared a special meal for us to enjoy together.”
“…That’s so mean.”
“…What…what do you mean?-“
“You’re just tryna get me to not go to a fuckin’ bar.”
He laughed blandly, “You are very wise, my lady.” He claimed, “But, may i remind you that a free dinner cost less than putting another 34 drinks onto your tab?”
You looked at him confused, but then realized something that disgusted you, “Are you gonna feed me cannibal food?”
He laughed, “For you, I’m sure it’s your favorite meal, but for me, yes, it is a cannibal meal.”
“…What-“
“Medium rare deer?”
You gasped, “Stalker! I fuckin’ knew it!” You claimed, getting another shoe from the ground and getting ready to throw it.
“Don’t!-“ He grabbed the shoe from your drunken-soft grip, “-you dare.”
“…Just don’t go to the bar,” He sighed as if taking care of a toddler, “I’m doing you a favor.”
“-And why would the Radio Demon care?”
“…It’s not pity,” he began, “…I just get second hand embarrassment seeing you drunk.” He grimaced.
“Nah, you just want me and not want anybody else to check me out.” You grinned, turning around to rummage through clothes again.
“Excuse me?” He said, offended, “I don’t view you that way whatsoever.”
“It’s okay, I worked hard for my glutes.” You slugged out a laugh, “Plastic balls wouldn’t look good in my skin.”
Alastor let his disgust cease for a moment before sighing, “I’m leaving. But,” He pulled out a pen from out of nowhere and wrote something down on a piece of paper, that also appeared out of nowhere, and handed it to you when done. “-If you ever need anything. You know, since you’re so vulnerable outside right now, I’ll be at this location.”
‘Hazbin Hotel, Morningstar District.’ It read.
“I’m not vulnerable, I’m just really hot and everybody wants me.”
“…Ugh, okay,” Alastor said to himself, “I’m out. Goodbye, Y/N. Until we meet again.”
And he was gone with the shadows.
You sighed, “Probably still watching me.”, you said aloud, pulling out a black silk dress from the mountainous pile on clothes beneath you.
***
You awoke in the morning to a pounding headache.
You groaned, rubbing your temples as you sat up and opened your eyes.
Your gaze fell upon the empty bottles of liquor strewn across the room and a wave of regret washed over you.
“…At least I decided to buy more.” You said to yourself, sitting up as you yawned and stretched.
Your eyes drifted towards the nightstand next to the bed and saw a glass of water and some painkillers.
You smiled softly, thankful for the kind gesture your past self gave you.
You popped the pills in your mouth and drank the entire glass, feeling slightly better after the medicine kicked in.
You looked at the clock on your wall, seeing that it was only 7 am.
Sighing, you get out of bed, ignoring the fact that your entire outfit from last night was still on (including the heels), You stalked your way over the kitchen to make some hangover stew
After a few minutes of chopping, mixing, and boiling, you finally had a bowl of hangover soup in front of you.
You took a bite and moaned.
It tasted delicious, as usual from your cooking.
And decided to turn the TV on.
Which was a bad idea.
Many news channels reporting on the Pride Ring were showing pictures of you and Alastor at the bar and outside the building-
“Could this be the relationship of the century or a big fluke?” The news reporter asked the audience-
Switch.
“-Another soul for Alastor to collect? Find out more after-“
Switch.
“-Personally, I wouldn’t date her if i was him, yeah?” The television guest claimed to the news reporter now on screen.
…what?
“I mean, look at her. Her boobs are flat and her ass looks fake. I mean, she could’ve at least had some surgery happen in those 40 years or bought some pads for bras.” He added, making the reporter laugh-
Click. Off.
You slammed the remote down and groaned.
You had just gotten out of a 40-year-long-hangover and now the world wants to talk shit about your body?
And you?
Great.
This was a great start to the day.
You got up, grabbing a bottle of wine from the table and taking a swig, feeling the burning sensation in your throat and the dizziness in your brain.
“…What am i doing to myself.” You said, looking at the bottle.
“…I should go to town and find a fuckin’ news reporter,” You claimed, placing the wine on the coffee table, “Fuckin’ rumors spreadin’ like that guy’s ass…” You trotted to your room to find an outfit.
You stopped, looking at your outfit from last Night, “…or jus’ fix my makeup.”
***
Strutting into the heart of Pentagram City, this was probably your first time appreciating how much eyes were on you and those…’phones.’ (which you found out the name from the television.)
You walked with confidence, but also with a little bit of embarrassment.
But mostly confidence.
You looked around, taking in the sights of the bustling city and the sounds of people chatting and laughing and yelling.
Alastor submerged from the shadows next to you, walking by your side.
“Enjoying the outside, my fellow homebody?” He asked with a grin.
“Not now, Alastor.” You said, scanning the area.
“Now, What’s gotten you so worked up with smarts?” He asked like a babysitter, “Haven’t seen you this focused since…never!” He laughed.
You scoffed, “Some guy dared to insult me on live television.” You answered, “Called me flat on my Himalaya’s.”
“…Your what’s?” He asked.
“My boobs, Alastor… they’re not that flat are they?”
I’m not answering that question.” He announced.
You pouted.
“Think of the headlines, dear.”
“…Yeah, you’re right.” You shrugged.
“So,” Alastor started, “Anything i could do to help?” He asked, clenching his cane in curiosity.
“…I needa find a popular News station. So i can announce my…opinions n’ stuff.” You said, “a popular one around these parts.”
Alastor thinked for a moment, “…Ever suggested to yourself…Vox 2 Nite?”
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NOTES: CHAPTER TWO IS OUT AND EARLY?! Guys the Alastor x Reader tumblr community is dead rn I need people to like RISE FROM THE DEAD and get their friends who also thrive here like…do their job??? Show support??? Requests??? NOTES??? COMMENTS??? ahem, Anyways, I’m proud of this chapter, It’s gonna get better though, there is spicy material coming, but you guys just have to be patient <3, support is appreciated, Love you guys!!!
-Genderlessdude92, Kiki!
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HEAVENLY DRINKS MASTERLIST
OTHER WORKS
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TAGLIST:
@martinys-world
@sirens-and-moonflowers
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COMMENT TO BE APART OF THE TAGLIST!! HAVE A NICE DAY BAII!!! ;3
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fantasyandshit · 7 hours
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Whether you like it or not
Type: One shot
Pairing: Eris x fem reader
Based off of this request
I slowly step down the stairs, careful not to trip over my self, I’m dressed in a dark gown, the gold details shimmering in the fae lights, my hair is laying down my back I’m soft curls, my water line shaded with kohl and a slight tint added to my lips. “Ah there she is.” Rhysand smiles, his arm wrapped around Feyre.
“Well can you blame me? This dress was,” I pause to think of the words, “confusing to put on.”
“Oh but you look hot as fuck girl.” I smirk as my eyes find Morrigans, dressed in a fabulous red dress as always, gold details around the edges and a slit straight up the side, a plunging v-line showing off her full breasts and heavy gold jewelry accenting it perfectly.
“As always.” We chuckle for a moment before sighs escape us in unison and we pair up to winnow to the court of nightmares. It was a dreaded but necessary meeting with Eris and Keir. One I hoped would be quick or I may stab myself before the night ends.
I had never had a problem with Eris really. I had been there the day of the incident with Mor and knew the truth, something that still bothered me to this day was her lies but I never said anything. I couldn’t.
———
I file in with the rest of my family stood in between Cassian and Azriel, my heels clacking and my dress swaying. My shoulders were pulled back, my head held high and a near sneer lay on my face as I gazed forward, never to the crowd.
As I take my place at the foot of the dais, Rhysand takes his seat, Feyre on his lap as she commands us to bow. I drop to my knee in respect, only rising when she tells us too. It is then that I catch sight of the fiery red hair in the crowd, unmistakably the prince of Autumn. We make eye contact, his lips pulling into one of his signature smirks before he disappears into the crowd.
The night continues on, nothing of interest happening as I await the time after this “party” for our meeting so we may get it done and over with. As a new song begins, I’m pulled out of my thoughts by a voice I know all too well, deep and gravely. “May I have this dance, princess.” A smirk of my own graces my features as my hand is placed in his.
“I suppose you may.” My eyes track his body as I’m pulled into the swirling crowd. I can feel the heirs fiery warmth against me as we sway and spin to the music. “So why the sudden urge to dance with my prince.”
“Oh don’t pretend- you know I take pleasure in our escapades every time we have to attend one of these blasted meetings.” That was true, me and Eris often sought each other out when we had to attend the same events, much to my family’s dismay. I had gotten into several arguments with Cass, Rhys, Az, and Mor over the years but I couldn’t explain this pull I felt towards the Fox.
‘Fox.’ I had called Eris that since shortly after we first met, his predatory gaze and orange hair reminding me of the animal, along with other things. I just couldn’t explain the reason but this male was just a fox.
“That’s fair. So what have you been up to Fox.”
A long sigh leaves him as he pulls me in for a dip, “oh my gods it’s been horrid, as I get closer to over taking the throne, more and more must be done, I’ve had back to back meetings all week.”
I shudder at the idea of all that- it sounded like torture, “that sounds Horrid.”
“Oh it is, believe me princess.”
Eris pulls me in one more time as the beat starts to simmer out, signifying the end of the song. We’re close enough for our breaths to mix, my eyes meeting his.
Oh
My
Gods
This could not
Be happening
There’s now way. It’s not possible.
But sure enough as I gasp, falling further into Eris’ touch, I feel the snap of the golden string, and judging by his flinch, he does too. It feels like the world stops, everything blurring around as all I see is him.
He’s all I feel
All I breath
He’s everything
We simply stare into each others eyes for what feels like an eternity, our breaths matching, chests heaving in heavy pants. “You’re my mate.” It’s the softest I’ve ever heard the male speak as he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.
“I’m your mate.”
A small smile breaks across his face, it’s sincere, filled with emotion. Not like his usual smirk. His eyes are wet as his brows pull up.
“Everyone out.” I’m broken from my stupor by the low growl of my high lord…shit. I move to leave with Eris wrapped around my arm. “You two. Stay.” He looks pointedly at the two of us. I felt like a child about to be scolded. I’d never seen Rhysand so angry. Mor looked on in disbelief, Azriel looked down right mortified, Cassian looked nearly as angry as Rhysand, his hands clenching at his sides as he stared at the heir of Autumn. Feyre looked shocked, scared but she couldn’t fully grasp the situation in front of her. Amren of course hid her smirk behind a goblet.
Me and my mate. My. My mate. My mate. Eris is my mate. Holy fucking mother above. Me and my mate make our way to the front of the dais, facing Rhysand. Eris’ eyes are hardened as he stares at the big lord, his hand wrapped tightly around my waist.
“Reject it.” His tone is flat as he speaks, it terrifies me seeing him this angry, this calm and raging at me.
“No.” It comes out a growl as I address my high lord. I don’t know what came over me but I refused to let him disrespect me and my mate like this. Refused to let him go.
“No?”
“Yes. She said no. She will not reject the bond and neither will I.”
Darkness and night swirl around the room as Rhys ad starts to lose his cool. “Yn please.” It’s a plea from Morrigan, I turn to face the blond who stands in the corner. “You know what he did to me.”
“Oh cut the bull shit Morrigan! You forget I was there! I saw with my own eyes, I’m tired of going along with your half truth! Stop this nonsense!”
Cassian shakes as he looks to me, Azriel looks saddened and Rhysna and Feyre simply stare in shock at my outburst. But I’m not done. Not yet.
“I’m sick and tired of MY MATE being pictured as this evil tyrant of a male! Rhysand, you know most view you that way? It’s a mask- have you ever stopped to think maybe Eris must put one on too. It’s survival! And I’m so sick and tired of Mor claiming pitty over something that is a half truth. Eris saved her. She knows it, he knows it, I. Know it. Now, if you have any issues with my mate then kindly fuck off! I won’t be rejecting this, I won’t be leaving him. He is my mate. Mine. You should be happy I found someone! Rhysand you remember that feeling with Feyre? It’s my turn to have that! My turn to feel that love.”
“But Yn-“
“I think that’s enough Rhysand. Yn has made her feelings very clear. Neither of us will be leaving this. We will both be pursuing this bond whether you agree with it or not.” I look to Eris as he holds me, a smile coming back to his face as we winnow away.
What. The. Fuck have I done?
—————
Thank you so much anon for the request! I hope this lives up to your expectations!
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sskk-manifesto · 28 days
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Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )
#And Kouyou!!!!#Also. I can say Steinbeck is kinda 👀👀👀#King of the specific category of “I forget I like him until he's on screen”#I'm seriously unlocking memories with this rewatch. Like I haven't thought about it in two years–#but I just know when I was watching the anime for the first time I was being like#“Of COURSE the villains need to spend several minutes each episode explaining in detail how their own superpowers work so that the–#protagonists can get a perfect idea of how to best counter them. Why are villains made so freaking stupid in this show” aljhvwslchvqliyqwb#But. Eh. I guess that's just bsd to you.#Alsoooooo random thought of the day: I don't really favour how Tanizaki's ability was adapted in the anime.#I very well understand they were going for this green Matrix-like illusion effect‚ but every time someone says “... Snow?”#I'm like please explain where do you live that has snow glowing green.#Aamsjgvfaskjhfv sorry this is me being very. Cranky and nitpicky and having terrible audience etiquette in refusing to–#engage in suspension of disbelief. It just bugs me akvakcvqkyb I just feel like... Green is such a non-snow color–#that quite of completely disrupts the Light Snow / Sasame Yuki aesthetic. I would have liked it much better light blue or simply white.#What else. The way the Guild just goes on at stereotypes still troubles me a lot. The “usamericans can't be touched by laws–#because they use money to corrupt anyone” “foreign criminal organization come in our country to corrupt our pure and untouched soil”#Idk. Maybe all of it is true. Can it still be deemed a stereotype when it's objectively something that's happened before–#and will probably keep happening?#I suppose I'm just not a fan of the constant hostility against any foreigner. Idk.#This situation besides is extremely ironical. If you meet me irl it probably won't take long to see me being very outspoken about–#how much I despise usa cultural colonization of all other countries. It's something that really bothers me‚ how rooted and pervasive–#their influence is. So in a lot of ways I can relate to the author's sentiment#I just feel that. If you start treating them as stereotypes and ignore the complexity of a country and the wide spectrum of causes–#that contribute to its attitude in international relations. You end up practicing precisely what you're trying to criticize.#Okay this is the last time I'm getting into the politics of the Guild arc lol#random rambles#This time I took watching the episode slow I feel a little late
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raifuujin · 12 days
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Eventually I'll write my thoughts about stuff from the now long confirmed movie spoilers and manga events. Most of it would probably be summed up with ranting about writing (more because of the manga, but also a little because of The movie Thing), and a little bit of pros and cons of it all as far as my opinion.
But at the end of it all, it'll really only change fandom as much as you allow it. Some people are personally unhappy, and that's fine. Many probably won't let it affect their fanworks, no different from any other work with various tweaks or even aus. If people do start harassing for stupid reasons, get some block buttons ready. If the new information encourages new story ideas, that's great!
I personally like juggling possibilities, I just don't like Gosho's use of ideas nowadays, so. -sighs and shrugs- Same old same old, I guess. Even if this time caused a lot bigger drama than usual because of valid concerns.
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old-memoria · 1 year
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Also can we stop calling curly hair fucking noodles
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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I WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 💀
#🌙.rambles#i got like 5 hours of sleep though i'll survive#i was gna wake up in a few minutes anyways so i'll just stay up!!!!#i think apollo's gna have complete hours of sleep though ehe#oh man rn i just thought of the ffxiv. eorza symphony 2022 concert or wtvr it was called#the field of elpis flowers 🥹#oh my god if ever infinally went to one of those orchestras or wtvr i'd seriously be crying sm#i hate hate crying in public but i wldn't be able to help myself anymore#a sea of stars..#but not rlly stars it's the glow of the flowers illuminating the. yeah#reading a thread again i like every single tweet from it last night but i didn't read everything properl#looking at the setlist i'm srs very sure i wld cry so much wtf#the whole ffxiv ost just.. means so much to me :<<#everywhere i have sm memories w different ppl in different points of my life n. same but rather different me throughout it all#everything abt ffxiv is just so dear to me#was it distant worlds..? i can't remember well if it that was also this year but#my aunt went to distant worlds before. so.. someday one day maybe i cld join too. i'd cry a lot too wtfq#ignore the q i'm on phone rn n i can't be bothered to retype that just to remove that accident 💀#but yeah! ff in general n then music. i still remember moments two years back when 'not alone' wld comfort me when i was crying or#not just ff but vg in general w like cyrus the scholar n yonah n weight of the world n hfksdkfhshf so much it's just so dear to me#i ended up rambling a lot but i think yesterday w all that happened rlly just. softened me n reminded me of my love for lifw#especially with.. the night before that oh man i'm never tdoing that to myself ever again#i'll go 'wake up' in a bit now! waking up early even though i'm lacking on sleep is really nice#i'm rather energetic rn this is so funny watch soon i'll be reclusive n anxious again but i'll make the most of this for now >:3#i'm gna. fix my life. yeah c:
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jenniferpendragon · 1 month
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—Arising unbidden, calling from the reaches—
—A shout ringing loud through all the whispers—
—That voice raging through one of its speeches—
Ramming through memory, rallying the enlisters.
A woman barred from the discussion,
Restrained by chains that burn and blister.
‘Round the table they debate repercussions,
Bound, she’s suspended above the torturer’s knife—
Turned vampiric; tossed in the sun.
She begs and begs but not for her life.
She knows her intrinsic worth has been ravaged—
Celebrating her funeral should come with drum and fife.
Spine-chilling raiders cross the blood-plains savage—
Shields shattering on lie and obsession.
She soldiers on with her fighters salvaged.
Desecration they turn into a profession,
A mind’s eye blackened with ooze vitriolic.
Chain her for each imagined indiscretion.
Her honor demolished by warriors neurologic,
She hangs for all to see, beaten and tarnished.
Queen of all, stripped for her sins symbolic.
Her head she raises, her crown still brandished—
The game plays ever on, her knights run ragged.
Will they fight on, for regal rage demolished?
Her courage wanes as her honor falls rapid.
Does she succeed ‘neath terminal onslaught and chains?
Or does she, once and for all, end her oft-sung ballad?
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savethepinecones · 1 month
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my mother has texted me a list of like five different things she wants me to do around the house before she gets home from work
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bugunlikeanangel · 7 months
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i did so much fucking work today for not having written a single word of my actual essay itself
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drchucktingle · 5 months
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i have copied this comment without name because i think it is very kind and respectful and i do not want buckaroos interpreting it the wrong way. PLEASE UNDERSTAND this buckaroo is very sincere and has important points and please respect their way. i am going to answer in a way that is counter to their point and i do not want buds to go after them IN ANY WAY. THEY ARE PROVING LOVE AND THEY HAVE GOOD POINTS
okay here is what i have to say:
i have not transitioned and in this lifetime i do not expect to. i think you have a good point of 'how can you know?' and honestly i cannot know that is just how timelines and reality and perception work
HOWEVER i must caution against this train of thought slightly because what works for one buckaroos MAY NOT WORK for another. every time i talk about my non-dysphoric way there are plenty of well meaning buds, particularly fellow trans buds, who show up with posts in the tone of 'its only matter of time.' like i just do not understand yet.
this reminds me of bisexual buckaroos who are told 'you just do not know you are gay yet'. as difficult as it is to step out of our own dang minds, i implore buckaroos to accept that there VERY JOYFUL AND FULFILLED NON-DYSPHORIC TRANS BUCKAROOS who do not need to transition and never will and are healthy and happy without that. just like there are bisexual buckaroos who are not just on their way to being gay
a good way to look at it is like this: I LOVE MY MALE BODY. i think i am a very handsome buckaroo. i have masculine features in my muscle and height and frame. as far as how fate could have placed me on this timeline I WON MY OWN PERSONAL FOOTRACE. i am up on the podium and i am standing here with a medal around my neck. GOOD JOB CHUCK
HOWEVER when i look down i see that medal is silver. i am not going to lie and say it is gold. it is silver.
YES my gold medal is a female body. that is an objective truth to my trot. i believe my gender way is that of a women, but there is no part of me that is upset about where i have placed.
I GOT SILVER. i am not upset. there is no tragedy. in fact i am OVERWHLEMED WITH JOY not just to be on the podium but to be in this race in the first place. HECK YEAH I DID IT AND I GOT A MEDAL
of course this is not to dismiss the difficult journey of others. many do not feel the way i do and their trot is VALID. a dysphoric way matters and is important and these voices are important. they should be elevated and supported. i understand some do not share this podium imagery, and they feel PAINED by trappings of their body.
i feel so much for this. i understand and care for my dysphoric buds, but the simple truth is that is not my story. i cant just lie and say that it is.
it will never be my story. i cannot say this enough: i love my body. however i STILL believe my truest way is that of a ladybuck. if it was a simple button push to change me, then i would push it without hesitation.
but it is not a simple button push.
talk to almost any buckaroo who has transitioned and they will say 'transitioning is hard'. it takes time and work and money and emotional support. i am in awe of the bravery of buckaroos who trot this path, but all of that is not worth it for something that i already feel good about. SCRATCH THAT, i feel GREAT ABOUT. i feel overwhelmed with joy every day over just existing in this male body that i have been blessed with. YES buckaroo, i feel joy existing in a male body that i know is ladybuck on the inside. it feels interesting a cool and exciting.
but my truest way is STILL a ladybuck trot
i guess i am just trying to say that i love second place. im happy to celebrate it. i think my male body is really dang cool. it is not a 'perfect me' but it is really dang awesome, and i never really bothered with trying to be perfect
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