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ftm-radio · 3 hours

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My gender is 4 years old

...and four days, as of April 15th. This post is a bit late. 😅

Four years ago, all the confusing little puzzle pieces I'd been collecting came together in a genuine eureka! moment and I realized I was transgender. It was exhilarating and terrifying and it undeniably changed my life for the better.

The last few years have felt pretty damn slow and I've had to scramble over a few frustrating obstacles (never changing my name AGAIN, lmao, that was annoying as fuck) but it's all been worth it and now it feels like I'm really making headway.

I started testosterone this past year! I did that! I'm almost 7 months on T now! Currently on a dose of two pumps of gel, which I have only missed applying once in all that time because I was literally sick. The changes are gradual but they are real and they have already brought me so much joy and made me so much happier in my humble flesh prison. 💗

The most anticipated change for me (and for a lot of transmasc folks, I imagine) is my voice, and BOY (heh) am I happy to share this data comparison with you:

[ LEFT: A screenshot from the Voice Pitch Analyzer app, dated November 3rd, 2021. It shows that OP's voice registers fully within the female voice range. RIGHT: Another screenshot from the app, dated April 12th, 2024. This one shows that OP's voice registers mostly between the Androgynous and Male voice ranges. ]

My voice is so different now. It sounds different, it feels different, and in just the last week or so I swear it has gotten a little rougher and raspier and I am LIVING. I could not be happier!!!

...okay, fine, I could be happier lmao.

I'm adjusting to my deeper voice and still learning how to use it in a way I like & that feels best to me, so I'm starting to do some casual at-home voice training again after basically forgetting about the concept completely since 2021. (Whoops.) But I am already so much happier and more content with my voice than I have ever been in my life, so it's only getting better from here, lads. <3

I've also had to go to a lot of appointments and answer a ton of phone calls about said appts recently because I kinda fucked up my eyeball (it's better now, don't worry! and be gentle to your eyes, they are delicate and eye drops are so fucking annoying when you're doing them seven times a day, jfc) and my voice has reached a point where I was a lot more comfortable interacting with strangers and I also didn't notice any surprise or confusion when I introduced myself with a male name! It was kind of amazing.

Also singing is even more fun now. I love love LOVE singing along with a male vocalist and feeling the way my voice kinda rumbles through my chest. 10/10 sensory experience.

Other changes aren't nearly as exciting or obvious as my voice, but here's a quick (?) rundown, for those who are curious:

Mood — Gotta be honest, I don't think I've really noticed any significant change in my day-to-day mood, though I may not be the best judge for this because I have trouble figuring out what/how I'm feeling in general, tbh. But I think I have certainly gotten more comfortable and content with myself and I'd even go so far as to say I feel a little more confident these days. It's nice, I appreciate it.

Acne — I definitely noticed a change in how my acne presents itself on my face. I wouldn't say it's worse than before (I've had very bad acne since I was a young teenager and only got medication for it like, last year which has helped immensely) but I think it's different. More little red spots and roughness than the unpleasant and painful pimples I'm used to. I don't even mind it, really. Oddly affirming.

Facial Hair — I've got facial hair. I really do!!! Not clickbait!!! It's not much, not enough for me to be brave and take my dad up on his offer of shaving lessons quite yet, but it has grown in enough that I don't feel silly including it in self portraits! 🤭🧔🏻 Got a little bit of a mustache happening, a little bit at the sides of my face, some fuzz on my chin (with one LONG hair that I can only assume has been greedy and stealing his brothers' growth), and a frankly surprising lil patch of hair under my jaw. On a semi-related note, not sure if my brows have gotten much darker/thicker. They might have? idk.

my new discord icon, hehe... 👁💜🪓

Body Hair — I have gotten a little more hair on my forearms, and it may have gotten a little darker too! I have a tattoo on my arm just below my left wrist and it's been surprisingly helpful for measuring arm hair growth because for years my tattoo was not covered by hair at all but the left side of it's a little fuzzy now... 😏 I've gotten more noticeable hair growth on my upper arms, which were basically hairless before (free gender euphoria every time I put on my T) and on my thighs. Don't think my lower legs have gotten much hairier, and I'm a little impatient about it lmao. I want to get hairy enough to rival my brother.

Energy/Appetite — Can't say I've really noticed any differences here? I am not a very active person and I already struggled with appetite and getting myself to eat before I started T (thank you adhd & poor eating habits 🥲💀), so I can't quite tell if I'm ignoring more hunger signals than usual. 😅 I am hoping to get more active and start doing more physical activity now that it's starting to get warmer outside again, so hopefully that will help me see these sorts of changes and also get me into some better eating habits as I expend more energy and work up a proper appetite! (Also, since we're on the topic... a reminder for all of us that taking care of yourself and feeding the body you live in is a million times more important than aesthetics and numbers on a scale. ❤)

Menstruation — I am still getting my period right on schedule, but I am happy to say it is considerably lighter than it was before I started testosterone! My period has begun getting shorter, too. It lasted for roughly 7–9 days before, but I was bleeding for exactly 7 days last month, and only 6 days this month. I'm not sure if this trend will continue at such a dramatic rate, but if my next round is only 5 days I will be very excited about it, lol. My uterus can retire any day now, please...

Bottom Growth — if any of my friends read this part, don't speak to me about it lmao — Yeah... there's a little bit of something happening down there. Not a lot, and I haven't really noticed any pain or sensitivity, but there's a Difference. Aaaaand I like it. 😌 I am looking forward to any and all future developments. 😏👉🏻👉🏻

Okay! I think that's it, really.

I know I haven't been super active on this blog for quite a while now (I have really gotten into fandom blogging on my main lmao, and also discord is my favorite thing right now, it's where 90% of my friends live) so I hope this nice, long, ramble-y post makes up for that a little bit. <3

Not gonna make any promises that I'll post here more often, but y'know. I might. It could happen. Definitely not leaving this blog to sit and gather dust, that's for sure. I'll still be reblogging stuff semi-frequently, even if I'm not writing up my own posts.

So goodbye for now, and thanks for tuning in! 👋🏻📻💖💙✨️

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venranae · 1 year

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Not feeling all that silly today

#everytime i try to pursue an art career i fall back into a heavy depressive episode #i truly don't think i should be doing this #i wasn't born to be an artist man i don't even have the creativity for it #my brain is just constantly empty at all times #i have no ideas or concepts or anything #i draw and think about the same stuff over and over again #and tbh my art looks like its beginner lvl #ive been drawing for basically all my life and it still looks like shit #stiff and awkward and boring #i want to delete everything i create #i hate all of my drawings #i don't even wanna post them anymore because they make me so ashamed #Literally childrens lvl of art #my chickenscratch messy lines

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polaraffect · 12 days

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venting in the tags yippeee

#damien.txt #gender talk time 🤪✌️#....................................................................................#screaming crying throwing up rolling around on the ground <- said completely deadpan #uhm. as always. thinking abt gender. and questioning. my whole life. bc. i cant stop doing that #soooooo like. my big thing. abt gender. is as much as im like. he/they-ing it here and irl. its kind of... complicated?#as ive gone on ive realized more and more that i dont. really. feeling Anything towards those pronouns #neither do i she/her. or they/them.#and just generally the whole Concepts of male/female? so like. im always like hmm. whats happening here #and other completely incoherent statements djbdhdbf sorrry anyways #i keep having these moments where im like. hmm. maybe. im leaning too hard into the masc. maybe i am not. he at all.#but ive like. really full committed to the bit yknow? like esp irl. all the ppl ive introduced myself to in the last 2 years have known me #as 'he'. and as someone who wears mostly masc clothing and generally attempts to present masc #and like. i bought a skirt a while ago and i was trying it on today and i was like oh. wait.#and before u @ me i KNOW!! clothing does not equal gender!! but there was just something abt it #and recently (the past like. year lmao) ive really been contemplating like. what i actually want out of transitioning or whatever #bc like. increasingly its become more obvious how... fucking difficult that is.#and the more i think abt it the more im like. bro its not even worth it for me? tbh? also like. sometimes i look in the mirror and am like #hmm. this does not feel better than it did when i hadnt transitioned at all. yknow?#like the last 10+ years ive been existing in this state w my body where im basically just. tolerating it. ignoring it. even.#and that hasn't... changed. after t. and ik thats not like the fix-all but its got me wondering if some of it/a lot of it #is just body dysmorphia? rather than dysphoria? bc like. god knows i have that too.#and just. idk. i feel Really Really anti-gender most of the time. would in fact. not like to be conceived of at all.#but on some level im trying to think abt it practically bc if that ^ is my thoughts on gender fr. i have to decide whats worth it #and like. i miss cool clothes. god men's clothing is so fucking boring. holy fuck.#and AGAIN i KNOW gender doesnt equal clothes but also like. i am Aware to the wider world it still works like that #and truly if i rocked up to work/class in a skirt everyone would be like What The Fuck #and i kind of want to!! but im also scared of that reaction lol #AHHHH why must gender be so complicated. i want to lay on the floor #lol there was literally more but i ran out of tags LMAOO sorry everyone. gender complicated. peace ✌️

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chisatowo · 1 year

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Just realised a lil evil thing I could do in the unit swap au (remembered that it switched which school Mafuyu goes to)

#rat rambles #sekai posting #unit swap au #makes the two halves of the 15 yr old me projection coin interact (cutely)#maybe idk if Ill actually do it since I feel like it might not work as Id like it to for the mafuyu half of things but Im entertaining the #thought and having fun imagining emo lil amvs in my head abt it #nothing too deep but still makes for a fun thing to think abt #idk we'll see #theres been a lot of stuff thats on the cutting floor or stuck in concept purgatory rn which is unfortunate but I just dont feel confident #enough in my knowledge abt a lot of characters to rly commit to a lot of my ideas for them #I rly need to binge read more sekai stories so I can start digging deeper into some characters I struggle with rn #and by that I mean l/n (shiho specifically) Ive been so scared to develop them more dhdkydkdy #oh also tsukasa Ive been avoiding developing him more so bad #I have a feeling that with those two specifically my concepts for what Im thinking for basic vibes will probably change a lot #and this is important for shiho in particular since they are kind of the glue keeping my unit swap l/n concepts together #so I feel like I should rly just go and bindge read every shiho thing but also I dont wannaaaaaa #not because I dont like shiho but because Ill have to dig up fan translations for everything cause I heard that ensekai did them Dirty #I kind of wanna prioritise vbs also cause theyre the ones Im more actively working on atm #luckily sekai stories arent as hard to bindge as bndori ones cause its not almost 6 Years Old fjkdydkdyjd #also cause they mark their plot important stories but tbh that matters less to me #sometimes its the chill stories that casually drop the most fucked up character lore youve ever seen in ur life dhjdydjdh

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emmafrostyyy · 6 months

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y'all sleeping on Astarion/Lae'zel bc this moment is so...the way the flippant demeanor drops and he doesn't hesitate to call her out for sticking with her version of Cazador like their relationship is so underrated fr...

sitting down writing this bullshit like let me peel it like an onion a bit and elaborate why this pairing is fascinating to me

It's really interesting how during the most cathartic, life-altering moment in Astarion's questline, the reactions of the other companions are more about the moral wrongness/guilt of sacrificing innocent lives. Lae'zel doesn't do that and instead relates to his hurt.

She knows what's he's feeling, the lack of control, the unfairness of being powerless for too long. This is a woman who just found out her entire life purpose was built on lies, discarded and hunted by her own people after outliving her usefulness, and groomed to basically die for an insane power-hungry lich queen. She knows all too well that power isn't always real freedom. Her first instinct is to empathize with Astarion to steer him away from his hate and resentment.

Astarion/Lae'zel is so interesting to me because they're such a classic "can we make each other worse or make a better person out of the other?".

They both have genuine appreciation for violence and respect each other's ruthlessness. Astarion was used as a weapon of seduction while Lae'zel was of warfare. Sex with people is meaningless and not real intimacy for them, and while both have little understanding/experience of interpersonal relationships beyond the physical, they still feel and love very deeply. They have no frame of reference for things like friendship and warmth, but they badly want all of that and more, even if they don't know it yet.

In-game they can sleep with each other, which is basically the foundation of the normal Tav/Astarion romance. Lae'zel saw him during combat and got horny, who knows. Astarion who's used to luring people with his charms, takes up Lae'zel's blunt offer because she's a strong hardened warrior that can provide protection and be a worthy ally, and he doesn't know how to say no. Navigating the complications between one who wants to be seen beyond as a sex object, and one who comes from a totally alien culture with no concept of love/family/connections and only sex is honestly really compelling to me. It's a transactional, mutually beneficial thing with no emotional expectations. Once you get past the skeevy rockiness of their early relationship, I really like the idea of them slowly seeing something past the exterior and realizing they may have harshly misjudged the other, an unspoken friendship blooms, and in comes the realization that they are essentially loners longing for kindness and a comforting touch in the most desperate of situations.

Lae'zel is prideful, direct, has no sense of courtship talk, and doesn't hold back her thoughts the slightest--she's not sweet/agreeable and what you see is really what you get, which I imagine would be disarming for Astarion who's used to vacuous flattery and has difficulty trusting others. But she's also insanely protective, passionate, loyal, and an initiator-- every romance scene is triggered by her first and she's always showing effort towards her relationships, which would mesh well with Astarion who does need someone to nudge him.

She doesn't purposely suppress her feelings, she's just simply at loss at how to express them sometimes due to her wildly different upbringing. She stops the sparring match you agree to and an easy vulnerability slips instantly out of her: "I don't want to hurt you. I want to protect you, and for you to protect me." and "Thus far I've taunted you, devoured you, battled you. Now I want more than anything to soothe you." are romantic as fuck and Astarion of all people really needs to hear that tbh.

Astarion is also someone who struggles with reinforcing his boundaries, and a key theme in Lae'zel's romance is that she encourages and wants you to challenge her and learn to stand your ground. It's not gentlest method, but hey, relationships are about having to make an effort to learn each other's language.

I think he also would take pleasure "educating her on the matters of Fay-run" (I believe there's a whole banter with him teasing her and teaching her pet names) and would get a kick out of coaxing Lae'zel out of her shell with her shyness at showing public affection, and making her blush. Also it simply would be fucking funny to see Astarion who's used to easy seduction, trying to pass a persuasion check just to get a smooch and generally having to work to earn regular kisses from Lae'zel lmfaooo

Lae'zel also initially struggles to see her chains as chains. When she learns about Vlaakith's betrayal, she copes instantly through denial and shuts it down. Astarion is NOT having it and calls her out, he knows her well enough to recognize that she would value blunt honesty above all.

I imagine he also despises her lack of self-preservation, the way her entire identity is tied to duty and being in service of others, and doesn't understand her desire to still help/liberate the people that want her dead and are hunting her down. He wants to make this duty-bound soldier realize that looking out for herself, and putting herself first may not be the worst thing in the world.

They're so similar to each other but are also polar opposites in some ways that make a more equal, balanced romance I think. It's not a simple, one-sided, feel-good "she/he can fix her/him" fantasy because both of them have to earn each other's love, actually cut through the other's flaws, and actively motivate each other to be better versions of themselves.

They're not at all the other's ideal guiding hand. It's rough, jagged, and imperfect, but that's how healing goes. It's so far from being the healthiest relationship -- but even if their belief systems differ, their moral compass does often align. I imagine it's a slight relief for them to have a partner where there would be less shame and judgment when they expectedly, occasionally slip up and fall into their bad habits.

Also, man, the "You showed me the betweens and beyonds. Beyond war and peace, beyond passion and obsession, most importantly, you showed me freedom.", "First you were my wound, now you were my cure.", "But you saw something else in me - someone else I could be. Someone who could break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago.." lines really hit hard when applied to them.

Of course, they can also make each other worse, feed into the other's negative traits that will bring out the worst part of themselves. It's this duality of their pairing that is very interesting to explore, the way it can steer in either direction because it's an intense, fraught relationship at its core.

#when he gets called by omeluum “child of the dark” and her “child of the stars” like yeah..the squid man is being literal but he Gets It fr.#lae'zel #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 meta #astarion ancunin #astarion x lae'zel #lae'zel x astarion #the rarest of rarepairs they dont even got a ship name...this is so tragique we need to discuss the pathos and potential of this pairing #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 astarion #also im a sucker for stoic knight/court darling trope and whatever variations of it yeah #bloodbruise

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jadeslashes · 1 year

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🕸 how they mark you.

includes: patrick bateman, charles lee ray, tiffany valentine, jason voorhees, michael myers, pinhead, jennifer check, freddy krueger, jackson rippner, stu macher, billy loomis.

warnings: nsfw, possessive & abusive behavior. minors please dni.

tw: mentions of blood, knives, cutting, hickeys, biting & burn marks.

🪓﹒PATRICK BATEMAN ꜜ﹒⟡﹒

he would have you wearing something of his, or he’d buy you something for you to wear

and he’d take any chance he can get to show it off, too

“see that necklace they’re wearing? i got it for them.” and then he’d go on to explain where he got it from, and probably reference how expensive it was because it’s patrick

oh and it strokes his ego a little bit every time he hears or sees you showing it off to your friends <3

🛠﹒CHARLES LEE RAY ꜜ﹒⟡﹒

he would shamelessly kill anyone who got too close to you, he barely gives a shit about marking you

but if anything he’d mark you by stubbing out his cigs on your arm to leave a mark (and if you’re lucky or ask nicely he might make it in the shape of a heart just for you)

🖤﹒TIFFANY VALENTINE ꜜ﹒⟡﹒

bite marks and lipstick prints

if she can sneak a kiss on your neck, lips or collar of your shirt that’ll leave the print of her lipstick on you, she’ll do it

and whenever someone points it out she laughs because she can tell that they know she’s the one who left it (and she loves the either flustered and embarrassed look or the somewhat proud and nonchalant look on your face when they do)

and of course she’d leave a few hickeys occasionally too, not all the time though

🕸﹒JASON VOORHEES ꜜ﹒⟡﹒

he’d do a few different things to let you and other people know you’re his

you’d have several articles of clothing and jewelry that he’d want you to be wearing, likely things that he found that he thought you’d like

honestly if he thought anyone was getting too close to you, rather than just trying to mark you he’d just do something more direct to scare them off

🔪﹒MICHAEL MYERS ꜜ﹒⟡﹒

cuts & hickeys combo

even if people don’t know that they came from him, they still know that you’re off the market

and whenever they start to heal or become less visible he replaces them with new ones <3

⛓﹒PINHEAD ꜜ﹒⟡﹒

the torture that they inflict is enough to mark you

they know that after the experience they gave you, the mix of pain and pleasure and every wound, bruise and cut that you got along the way is enough to ensure that you’re only theirs

you and them both know no one else could give you something like that, so that’s all they need to do <3

🩸﹒JENNIFER CHECK ꜜ﹒⟡﹒

call me basic for this one but i think jennifer would always mark you up with hickeys

all over your neck, shoulders, collarbone, thighs, everywhere <3

and when she’s with you out in public where people can see the two of you and your hickeys, she loves knowing that people can tell that she’s the one who gave them to you

holding your hand and kissing you and introducing you as her significant other isn’t enough, she needs people to know that you’re all hers

💭﹒FREDDY KRUEGER ꜜ﹒⟡﹒

i’ve talked about this concept a bit in a previous post but

he’d knick you with light little scratches with his blades in your dreams so you’d always wake up to see them

it’s his little way of reminding you that he’s there <3

sure, if ever someone asks about them you just lie about it most of the time, but that’s fine because you both know where those scratch marks came from, it’s your little secret

🛩﹒JACKSON RIPPNER ꜜ﹒⟡﹒

i think he’d like it if you used his cologne, or wore something of his that smelled like him, he’d offer you his jacket or shirt at every chance he gets, especially if you are out in public somewhere

he likes the idea of you smelling like him, having his scent on you

i really don’t know why tbh,, maybe that’s just a me thing but it’s hot imo

and as a bonus he just kind of always casually has his hand on you in some way, on the small of your back, on your thigh, you get the idea

🥩﹒STU MACHER ꜜ﹒⟡﹒

okay he might not necessarily physically mark you, but he definitely makes it clear that you’re his

whenever you two are out together or with friends he’s all over you, arm around the waist, kissing you, pulling you closer to him, all that shit

more often than not if someone looks in your direction he’s got his hands on you in one way or another

📞﹒BILLY LOOMIS ꜜ﹒⟡﹒

i see billy as having a huge thing for knives, so he’d cut his initials into your thigh or your arm

i wouldn’t put it past him to leave you with a few bruises too

“you’re mine, y’know that? all mine.”

#slasher x reader #slashers x reader #slasher imagines #patrick bateman x reader #chucky x reader #tiffany valentine x reader #jason voorhees x reader #michael myers x reader #pinhead x reader #billy loomis x reader #freddy krueger x reader #jackson rippner x reader #jennifer check x reader #stu macher x reader #slasher fucker

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redr0sewrites · 2 months

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If you desire 😂 please do a Fic of Reader rarely shaving their legs and Lucifer finding out from their first time (sex) or better yet what would Adam think? (I don’t think he’d care since the concept of shaving wasn’t a thing then but still) also I’m sorry I scarred you with the knowledge of bee movie fanfiction 😭💜

AKSJDJEJ DWWW THE FIC MAY BE TRAUMATIZING BUT ITS NOT THE WORST IVE HEARD OF LMAO- also i kinda combined the idea of like not shaving ur legs and also not shaving in general, so it's basically how they'd react to a reader who doesn't shave

🥀Cw: smut, fluff, slight crack, adam being adam (he slaps ur ass)

🥀minors dni

Lucifer

lucifer is def the type to not care at all whether or not you shave, hes such a sweetheart and loves u regardless of your bodily choices

he made a mental note of it the first time he saw it, but didn't mention it because he didn't want to make you embarrassed

if you bring it up, hes quick to reassure you that he doesn't care! its your body, so the choice is ultimately yours

lucifer also doesn't care about body hair when hes giving you oral, he'll go down on you whether you're clean shaven or not shaven at all

in his mind you're perfect in every way, nothing about your body could ever turn him off tbh

soft pants and whines filled the room as lucifer nipped at your collarbone, trailing kisses lower and lower down your body. he fiddled with the hem of your shirt, slowly assisting you in pulling it over your head. lucifer started at you for a second, speechless at the sight of you. "my dear, you truly are divine~" he murmured, pressing kisses to your chest that trailed lower down to your navel. his lips trailed low, slowly and sensually kissing your stomach, so close to where you wanted to feel him. lucifer's sinful lips brushed over the tip of your happy trail that was exposed from your pants, and he pressed a lazy kiss to the area. your hips jerked slightly in response, grinding into his touch. slowly, his hands crept up to the waistline of your pants, his eyes looking up to see if you were okay. "wait," you whispered into the darkness, and he immediately paused. "luci, i haven't shaved.." lucifer chuckled softly, still fiddling with the hem of your bottoms. his eyes flicked back down to your body, then returned to yours as he replied, "i don't mind, my love, whether or not you shave is completely up to you. every part of you deserves to be worshipped," he whispered smoothly, but added in a genuine tone, "if you truly want to stop, we can, my darli-" he was cut off by an insistent shake of your head as you began to slowly take of your pants. "i want to continue," you confessed, blushing as he smiled up at you. lucifer pulled your pants down and discarded them to the side, leaving you in only your undergarments. he hooked his fingers into the hem of your underwear, and met your eyes. you nodded, and he slowly pealed away the barrier between him and your aching sex. he stared at you, entranced and intoxicated with lust as he rubbed soothing circles into your thigh. "beautiful," he whispered huskily, leaning in to press a kiss to your inner thigh. lucifer's hot breath fanned against your aching sex and you whined at the sensational. he licked a stripe up your inner thigh, and you burrowed your hands into his hair. you were in for a long night...

Adam

this man rarely shaves either, so he isn't one to judge tbh

if adam found out during sex that you don't shave he would not care, especially since shaving was not a thing when he was created- if he's attracted to you, you're body hair isn't going to change his opinion of you at all

when it comes to your body hair, he doesn't have a huge opinion or preference, i actually think he would enjoy having a partner with body hair

while he can have a misogynistic side, if you're fem, he would understand that you're body is your choice and i def don't think hes the type to try and enforce any opinions on you when it comes to your body

adam may ask a few (stupid) questions about it but all in all i think he just wouldn't really care either way

you matter more to him than just your body, and whatever choices you make with your body are attractive to him simply because you made the choice

adam's helmet crashed to the floor as he tore it off his head, his hips grinding into yours as you moan, and he pushed you down against the bed with ease. his wings spread above you two, and the flapping motion made you shudder as a rush of cold air fills the room. adam smirks, and you pull him down into a sloppy kiss. his hands begin to work at both your guys' clothes, removing layers until you were left in just your pants and undergarments. all the while, a battle of teeth and tongue occurred as both of your mouths' clashed together in a sloppy, needy kiss. as adam begins to remove your pants, you paused, pulling away as you gasp for breath. "wait- adam, i haven't shaved," you gasped out, chest heaving and face flushed with lust. "do ya really think i care about shit like that babe? i mean, i'm the ORIGINAL dick after all, i can handle some hair~" adam smirked cheekily, and you grumbled at his cockiness. yet assisted him in removing your undergarments. adam groaned, cursing under his breath at the sight of you. "fuck, all this f'me, huh doll? you're so fucking hot," he whispered, ogling your exposed sex and giving your ass an appreciative smack. you moaned, shuddering at the sudden contact and he chuckled. "ya like that, huh? well, theres more where that came from, sugar tits~"

i haven't written graphic smut in a minute and it shows 💀 i tried to make it as gender neutral as possible but ITS SO HARD TO WRITE GN SMUTTTTTT 😭 anyways yall hope u enjoyed!!!! this was sm fun to writeee hehe

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avatar-anna · 8 months

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Rumors

so...i've had this concept rattling around in my brain, but i had no idea how to write it, so i used pictures instead. i definitely want to do more, but tumnlr only allows 10 pictures a post, so here's to hoping i remember to come back to this in the future!

yourinstagram

liked by taylorswift and 67,530 others

yourinstagram: had a very cool dude over today to make even cooler music

yoursistersinstagram: you let someone in the bat cave?!

y/nfan5: possible collab on the new album?

yourinstagram: more like i was helping someone with theirs ;))

harrystyles: Thank you for having me. X.

harryfan3: HARRY???

harryfan7: omgomgomgomgomg

y/nfan1: pls god let us have a harry and y/n collab on his next album i NEED it

harrystyles

liked by gemmastyles, yourinstagram and 2,233,781 others

harrystyles: HS3. Coming soon.

harryfan8: NEW ALBUM ALERT

harryfan11: HARRY YOU CANT JUST DROP SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT A RELEASE DATE

harryfan4: this has to be what he was working on with y/n right?

y/nfan3: i need them both on a song together

yourinstagram: had fun late night talking with you xx

y/nfan9: i'm sorry wHAT

harryfan5: is this flirting this sounds like flirting

harryfan13: honestly...here for it

y/nupdates

liked by harryfan7 and 4,320 others

y/nupdates: Y/n in a video for Vogue recently!

"A lot of people ask me how Harry Styles ended up recording at my house when we'd virtually never crossed paths before. It was actually Taylor (Swift) who kind of set the whole thing up. They spoke at the Grammys last year and she apparently gave him my number so we could work together...He called and asked if I was available to help with his album at all. At the time I was on the road, then working on stuff for the band, and it just kind of went back and forth for a few months while we tried to line up our schedules. Then I was done touring, but I was kind of in a weird state in life where I didn't want to leave the house or hang out with anyone. And I remember making up excuses because I wasn't really up to making myself presentable to a whole team of people I'd never met before and having our first meeting be this huge thing. I'd basically built it all up in my head about how our ideas would clash and we wouldn't get along and I just kept telling him maybe some other time. Long story short, Harry showed up at my place a week later by himself with just a guitar, a notebook, and my favorite takeout order. We spent the whole day together working on a bunch of different stuff from themes to genres of music to sampling and mixing. And writing. Lots and lots of writing. And now he's a dear friend. He's so sweet and so talented. I wish him all the best with the new album."

y/nfan8: ok i'm glad it worked out and everything but imagine a virtual stranger showing up to your HOUSE?? like she said no and he basically forced her to write his album for her

y/nfan4: that's so real of her tbh to not want to leave her house

y/nfan2: y/n is notoriously introverted it makes sense

harryfan13: girl...

y/nfan7: i don't think it was that serious. and if she really didn't want him there she could've said no

harryfan13: and y/n literally called him a friend?? stop trying to start shit that doesn't exist

y/nfan7: of COURSE mother brought them together

harryfan17: i can't believe that's what harry and taylor were talking about in the video!

harryfan2: chill harry doesn't need to be in a relationship with every woman he's associated with

harryfan4: wait but wasn't y/n at that grammys too?

harryfan9: it was still covid it's possible their paths didn't cross

y/nfan19: wait what if he was too shy to go up to her??😭

harryfan4: i love that they're writing besties now but i think they'd be so cute together 🥹

hsupdates

liked by harryfan4 and 10,343 others

hsupdates: Harry about Y/n L/n for Rolling Stone:

"I've always admired (Y/n's) work. She and her band are incredibly talented, and are just so passionate about creating music. I wanted that same energy for my third album, the freedom to make whatever I want without any reservations, and I knew Y/n was the perfect addition to the team. It took some convincing, but once we kind of got started, we couldn't stop. As we've gotten to know each other these past few months, I not only respect her as a musician, but for the person she is as well. Her soul is one of a kind, and I feel like my album would be so different without her on it. So now not only do I have an album that I'm proud of and love, but I got an extraordinary friend out of it too."

harryfan9: so this is what people mean when they say platonic soulmates

y/nfan12: all we've gotten is crumbs and i'm already in love with their friendship. and the album of course

y/nfan2: i'm so interested to hear this album now. if y/n is on it it has to be good

harryfan3: "her soul is one of a kind?" if that's harry as a friend i don't think i can handle boyfriendrry😭

y/nfan7: i'm holding out hope for them honestly🤞🏼🤞🏼

liked by harrystyles and 23,724 others

yourinstagram

yourinstagram: you've fallen from the sky down to me, i see it in your face, i'm relief, i'm your summer girl

y/nfan17: shut up are those song lyrics??

yourbandinstagram: the tears behind your dark sunglasses, the fears inside your heart as deep as gashes🎶🎶

y/nfan17: HOLY SHIT those ARE lyrics!

y/nfan6: haven't even heard the song and i know the girls have done it again

harryfan4: could it...could it be about harry?

y/nfan8: you're grasping at straws

harryfan12: are they? they've been spotted together all over LA

harrystyles: ☀️☀️

y/nfan8: as friends. friends can hang out can't they?

harryfan3: new music from harry AND y/n? we're about to be fed y'all

harryfan10: THEY REALLY ARE BESTIES

y/nfan2: i bet they collaborated on this song together

Interviewer (I): What's one memory or experience you can share from making this album? Any trips to Japan or Jamaica?

Harry (H): We stayed in Los Angeles mostly for this one. But erm...in terms of a specific memory...I would say that while I was working with Y/n, one of the tracks was actually inspired by her cat.

I: Really?

H: Yeah. Whenever it did something to annoy Y/n, which was quite often, she'd call her a little freak. The song's obviously not about the cat, but the phrase was in my head and yeah. Things just kind of...snowballed from there.

I: The sound that Y/n's band has is more rock centric, a similar sound to your first album. Is that what we can expect for your third studio album?

I: You've become quite close to Y/n L/n it seems like.

H: Not necessarily. Y/n and I collaborated, but she also let me take the reins in terms of sound. She had opinions of course and we would bounce ideas off of each other...but she really just followed my lead and supported the vision I had. She is playing a majority of the instruments on the album, though.

H: It's hard not to.

I: How so?

I: It sounds like you could go on for quite some time about her.

H: She's just cool, you know? I was kind of intimidated when we met for the first time. She's quiet, but you never forget that she's in the room, you just want to go over and talk to her. Of course once you meet her she's incredibly kind and not at all intimidating, but still like chill and stuff. The first time we met we sat for an hour just talking about music we enjoyed and live shows we wanted to attend and things we learned while in lockdown. She's just effortlessly cool. An old soul, I guess. And somehow she translates that into her music. Her sisters, too. They're all just first-rate musicians.

H: Sorry. I kind of gushed for a minute there.

H: And the band. They're just so talented, you know?

harrystyles

liked by jeffazoff and 4,211,323 others

harrystyles: From start to finish, making this album has been such an incredible journey. It was so fun to try new things sonically while also making something that I'm one hundred percent proud of. I've never felt more myself while making music than I did while creating this album for all of you, and I have so many people to thank for that. Hopefully you know who you are. I love, love, love you.

harryfan16: 😭😭😭😭😭

harris_reed: little angel👼

harryfan3: WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU

yourinstagram: congratulations h. you deserve it.💐💐💐

harrystyles: I couldn't have done it without you💐

yourinstagram

liked by yourbandinstagram and 53,089 others

yourinstagram: for one night and one night only...but in all seriousness shout out to my friend and his incredible album. happy to have been a part of the magic :)))

harryfan13: HAPPY HARRY DAY!!!

harryfan4: is she in ny??

y/nfan7: yes! she was spotted with harry before the show today

harryfan9: they're literally so cute i love their friendship

harrystyles: You made the magic happen. Thank you for everything. X.

harryfan3: they're so...

y/nfan2: i genuinely think they like fucking with us bc i legitimately can't tell if they're dating or not

y/nfan7: at this point i don't even care i love whatever they're doing they both just seem so happy to be besties/lovers/collaborators and i love that for them

harryfan5: ^^

y/nupdates

liked by harryfan10 and 3,742 others

y/nupdates: Y/n performing Keep Driving onstage with Harry in NYC tonight at ONO!

y/nupdates: When he introduced her, he said: "Tonight is special in a lot of ways. I'm sharing my album with you for the first time, my family's here, my friends are here, and...a very good friend of mine is here to play a song with me tonight. This album wouldn't have been possible without her, so please give her as much love as you've given me. Y/n L/n, everybody!"

harryfan4: stop they're so close it hurts😭

y/nfan7: i was there they were staring at each other and smiling the whole time!

harryfan12: that's the one where he says choke her with a sea view!?

y/nfan7: YES AND I SWEAR HIS SMILE GOT BIGGER WHEN HE SANG THAT PART AND LOOKED AT HER LIKE HE FULLY HAD TO TURN AROUND TO LOOK AT HER BC SHE WAS PLAYING THE DRUMS

harryfan3: i'm choosing to believe they're in love idc what anyone else says

hs/ynupdates

hs/ynupdates: Harry, Y/n, and her sisters in New York after ONO tonight! Apparently Harry and Y/n were standing and walking very close to each other. Like arms wrapped around each other close.

harryfan2: that could literally mean anything tho. they're good friends why wouldn't they walk next to each other?

y/nfan14: i feel like they don't know if they're dating or not at this point😅

y/nfan8: her sisters are so unserious i love it

y/nfan5: i love that they all showed up for harry🥹

yourbandinstagram

liked by taylorswift, harrystyles and 710,225 others

yourbandinstagram: Thanks for having us, London!

y/nfan1: i can't believe i got to see harry and y/n perform in ONE NIGHT

harryfan3: sending my love and my tears to everyone who got to experience this historic night

harrystyles: Thank you for taking the time to share the stage with me. X.

yourbandfan2: how do y'all always look so good 😭

I: So you opened for Harry Styles a few weeks ago and performed a song with him in New York.

Y/n: My sisters and I did, yeah.

I: How did that come about? Did your team call his team? Or was it more casual than that?

Y/n: Oh, definitely more casual. I think we were just hanging out together one morning and he kind of just suggested it. No bells and whistles or anything like that.

I: So can we expect (Your band) to join Harry on his upcoming tour, then?

Y/n: I don't think so. We're working on putting out a record of our own at the moment, but we do want to get back out on the road soon, but I will definitely be attending more of his shows in the future.

I: And what can we expect from this upcoming record? Did Harry help you the way you helped him out?

Y/n: I've sent him a couple things to listen to, and I value his opinion a lot, both as a friend and as an artist. He also showed me a couple records recently which kind of influenced how I approached some of the songs sonically. He's got a huge vinyl collection at his house. I'm honestly kind of jealous.

I: There's been some rumors running around that you and Harry are in a romantic relationship. Would you like to put any of those rumors to rest?

Y/n: I could see where people might think that. Harry's very affectionate by nature, and over the last couple of months we've become very close. He's not just someone I admire in the music industry, but as a person in general. I feel incredibly lucky to call him a friend. And a close one, at that.

I: So just a friend then?

Y/n: Yeah. Yeah, just a friend.

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic

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bitchimasnake-sss · 6 months

Text

their love language ft. the monster trio ayeee <3

another silly little set of headcannons for the biggest dumbasses in all the seas!!

ft. luffy, zoro, sanji x GN! reader

set-up: y'all idk, im just in the one piece vibe today (i say, 456th day in a row)

warnings: slightly suggestive for zoro and sanji's part

luffy:

physical touch!!! - omg i dont even need to explain this. - this man has NO CONCEPT of personal space. - doing your makeup? okay just sit on his lap when you do it (not even in a sexual way my lord get a grip). looking at the sea dramatically? okay hold his hand anyways while you do that. eating lunch? yeah he's touching your calf with his toe like a weirdo. - but he is a weirdo we love - this isn't exclusive to just you. the entire crew is his tree and he is a fucking koala. a himbo koala who you love. - but ever since you started dating, yeah it is quite hard for him to leave your side. - you entertain it but there are instances like this: "luffy please get off my arm, i cannot wash the dishes like this" this usually leads to him saying okay and rearranging himself to hold you from your waist as he stands behind you. - as much as you love it, there are moments when you just cannot anymore but king luffy can make you change your mind with his fucking grin. - also no need to mention that luffy is 100% the most emotionally mature/understanding of the crew, so he will give you space whenever you need it. - he just thinks it's better if you cry in bed about something when he's nearby bcause "what if you realize you're crying cause youre hungry?? then i will have to fetch you meat. i should be around for that." "luffy. i never cry because i'm hungry." "you don't know that. what if you were hungry all along??" - you gave up. - actually its quite nice to hold someone's hand when you cry. you quite like it. - just let him hold your hand when you're going through your bi-weekly mental breakdown, he appreciates you <3

zoro:

pretty mf aaahhh <3

words of affirmation!! - i do see him as a hoe for words of affirmation. argue with the wall. i cannot hear you lalalala. - he has subconsciously decided he needs to be strong for the crew, for you, for himself. weaklings cannot be the worlds greatest swordsman, after all. - everyone on the crew appreciates him ofcourse, but it is almost routine for him to save them any time of the day (or even someone else for that matter) - so when (pre-dating) you absent-mindedly thanked him for catching a sea-king for dinner, he was stuck. - like physically stuck. homeboy was frozen. staring at you like a deer in headlights. - when you asked him if he was okay, he brushed you off and you didn't see him for the rest of the evening (not even for dinner). he wouldn't admit it, but he stuffed his head against a pillow and almost screamed. and then he grinned against the same pillow for the rest of the night. what the fuck was wrong with him. - post-dating you has since found his kryptonite. - he did the most basic thing? he showered for once? say thank you and watch as he fucking melts into the ground once and for all. oml tell him he looks pretty and he will probably go to his room and cry. (please tell him he's pretty.) tell him his training form is good, he is ready to become a malewife (doesnt even know what that is but he is ready.) - still refuses to admit his weakness though. - "thankyou so much for taking me out on that date. i had so much fun." he is blushing ear to ear, he is fighting off a grin, he is shrugging but in reality he is fighting off a stupid dance move, "it was no big deal" "yes it was. thank you. i love you." yeah, he now believes he loves you 169% more than he did like 2 seconds ago - turn him into a bottom in one second by appreciating him during sexy times. (v. v. fun). he becomes a flustered, blushing mess. - appreciate him. he blushes. you get a good view. win-win situation tbh

sanji:

acts of service!! - he might be smooth with words and always ready to pull off a grand gesture to show his love for you but you make him toast when he's sick and he is asking you to marry him - actually he always asks you to marry him but like this is special to him - please give him a cookie and watch him fall on his knees i beg you - it isn't even limited to him. he sees you help chopper carry something particularly heavy or sees you taking care of nami when she has a cold and he is ready to wife you up again. - it could be the smallest of things and it would still make him fall heads over heels in love with you once again - you found his lost sock for him? heart eyes. you brushed and braided his hair as a joke when he was laying in your lap? his head is spinning. you bought him a tie to match one of his suits? he's practically foaming at the mouth. - whatever you do, no matter how small, expect 10x more in return "you did this for me?" (referring to the smallest of things) "yeah" you shrug "i am gonna make you doughnuts now." "you don't have to-" "no. i will." - he is up before the sun rises, making you doughnuts now cause yesterday before sleeping you laid out clothes on the bed for him - just such a nice human being i luv him - but if you do plan to pull a big gesture like taking him out on a date, be ready to be wined and dined and then some more (he has quite strong legs, he can stay on his knees for hours if you know what i mean) - anyways just like love him and buy him a perfume cause you thought he'd like it - he is now ready to die for you at 200x the speed he was before

a/n: going thru one piece brainrot session rn

#one piece #op #monster trio #one piece zoro #roronoa zoro #vinsmoke sanji #monkey d luffy #one piece headcanons #one piece men #zoro x reader #sanji x reader #luffy x reader #opla #one piece luffy #one piece sanji

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yuyanwrites · 7 months

Note

Hello, how are you?

Could I request BSD headcannons with Sigma, Poe, Dazai or Chuuya about someone proposing to the reader in front of them!

No pressure with this, if you don't want to do it!

Betrothed to another (fluff ver.)

Dazai, Chuuya, Poe, and sigma x gn!reader (separate)

A/n: I'm indecisive so I'm doing an angsty and fluff ver. ^^

Tags: Established relationship (with character), a child has an innocent crush on reader (and "proposes" to them)

Dazai

He's so childish omg

Argues with the kid

Probably snatched the two-dollar ring the child gave to you

The child would be like "(Name)! Will you marry me?" while holding up a cheap silver ring.

Meanwhile Dazai let out a loud gasp while putting his hand on his forehead like a damsel in distress. "No way! (Name) is marrying me!"

Cue their arguing

Its a back and forth really and you tried to stop their fight but you ended up giving up

You didn't want to break the kid's keart but at the same time you didn't want to deal with an overdramatic dazai

Eventually, the two come to an agreement

The agreement being whoever gets you to agree to marry them first, keeps you

Its silly and you laughed a little at this but dazai is already thinking about what ring to get you in the next week

Chuuya

They're just a kid he told himself

They don't even know about what love actually is

They probably just copied their parents or the disney movies they watched

But then said kid waved the ring in front of your face for the millionth time, still on one knee and was doing a whole speech about how much better than him they are

He couldn't take it

Argues with the kid #2

He really tried to reason with the kids patiently

Explained the kid's crush and how that doesn't equate to marriage and how marriage is a huge commitment and responsibility and everything

However, we all know he has anger issues so after an hour he's arguing with the kid

No agreement, the kid's parents came to pick them up and asked how their last lesson went (You're their tutor) and left

Please comfort Chuuya he's all sulky and grumpy now :(

Poe

The only mature one tbh

Socially awkward

He kind of just stands there

Watching you two with a little frown

He wants to intervene and calmly explain to the child why that's not possible but he gets tongue tied

He tries to write a little scenario to explain love and everythig hfdsakhfjdiksaj hes so sweet <3

Got completely ignored

Got a little upset because of that but stays calm and collected

Instead he lets you handle it while he makes all three of you something to eat

Karl is there to comfort him dw <3

Give him lots of kisses and cuddles after, he deserves it after all he did try

Sigma

Bro is basically a kid in a man's body anyways

Omg does anyone ever think of him of like a man-child ok off topic sorry

I think he'd be a mix of sulky and understanding

At first he'd be a little sad, yeah like just sad, not upset or frustrated like the first two

Just sad

But then he realises its fine because its a kid and he knows you love him <3

It was probably a random kid you babysat spotting you in public

They ran up to you in the mall with a ring in hand and proposed

The parents scolded the kid and apologised to the both of you so there wasn't much to do

Sigma is still understanding the concept of love so he's very understanding after his mini-sadness-phase

Probably smiled at the kid and walked away completely unphased after tbh

Very chill

#bsd #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #sigma #dazai #chuuya #Edgar allen Poe #Edgar allen poe x reader #dazai x reader #sigma x reader #chuuya x reader #bungo stray dogs fluff #dazai fluff #chuuya fluff #sigma fluff #edgar allen poe fluff #bsd headcanons

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cryptocism · 1 month

Text

Since I think about clones like I’m getting paid for it, I've been rotating those alternate universe "what if Bart and Thad were actually raised together" scenarios in my brain, with Thad either post-redemption-arc or pre-villainy. Because adjusting Thad's character to fit an ally role while still keeping true to his core motives and personality is so so fascinating to me.

Like I think there's an immediate first instinct to slot Thad into a "bad" twin category: ie rebellious and prickly, doesn't get along with people, mean lil shit. And obviously it's not wrong bc we're outside the realm of canon, but the reading still feels a little left of center.

Because Thad is mean and prickly in canon. In the Impulse comics he belittles Bart and Bart’s friends/family constantly in his appearances. He loves to goad, and monologue about his own superiority and intelligence. He’s very Not Nice, and he causes many problems, and he even does it on purpose.

But, I think it’s important to consider the context. From the jump Thad knows very little about anything except which team he’s on and who he’s playing for. He gets his orders from an unseen authority and he carries out his tasks because success means his team wins.

For all his self-aggrandizing talk, everything he does is in service of an end goal that doesn't actually center him. He's trying to get revenge for grievances he's never personally suffered, retribution for actions never committed against him. Everything he does is on someone else's behalf.

Thad sees in black and white, us or them. Up until the final few issues of Mercury Falling, Bart and co. are Thad's enemies, of course he's not going to be nice.

So Thad's motivation seems pretty simple: Thawne Supremacy™.

But it’s in Mercury Falling where this starts to fall apart, and the real core of his motivation gets revealed. Thad pretends to be Bart and suddenly Helen is nice to him. Bart’s friends think he’s funny. Bart’s teachers are impressed with his grades. Max ruffles his hair and gives him hugs and tells him he’s done a good job.

If he was actually an inherently mean and standoffish character, if Thad actually had significant personal stake in the Thawne VS Allen conflict, the weight of such tiny acts of kindness wouldn’t completely break him the way that it does in canon.

Thad thinks his goal is superiority and revenge and Thawne Supremacy™, but he's chasing validation. Thad doesn’t have a personal stake in the Thawne VS Allen conflict. He wouldn't get much satisfaction if he actually destroyed Bart and his family. Thad's personal victory would be the recognition after the fact: the praise and attention from the other Thawnes (a group of people he has literally never met) for his success.

He wants validation. That's basically it. And the fact that he gets it so easily from Bart's family and friends doesn't align with how he's told himself things are supposed to work.

Actually tangentially, Bart and Thad’s respective relationships to authority is so diametrically opposed and tbh kind of subversive in a superhero narrative. Where the hero is the one carving his own path without regard to social or societal rules, no fucks to give what anybody thinks of it. And the villain is a chronic people-pleaser.

Just based on Thad’s reaction to simple praise and affection from Max I really think Thad’s motivation has more to do with the response he gets than whatever the details are of any given task. He has no actual personal convictions beyond getting positive attention, and whatever he did have crumbled as soon as Bart’s friends laughed at his joke one time. Which of course leads into the core of his whole conflict at the end of Mercury Falling. He cares too much about Bart’s friends and family now, he doesn’t want to kill them, but worse than that, he’s faced with the sudden realization that he’s on the wrong side.

The Allens gave Thad everything he actually wanted and needed, but his conception of himself is inexorably tied to the Thawnes: who gave him jack shit. These two facts are in opposition to each other, and he can’t reconcile the reality of it.

Anyway all this to say, in an AU where Bart and Thad are raised together or Thad gets an actual redemption arc etc etc, I think my personal take on Thad’s personality whether it be pre-or-post-villainy would be one that is extremely socially conscious. He is much more of a people-person than Bart. Whether he's actually accurate in assessing people's feelings and how to respond to them can be hit or miss, but he wants to behave in a way that gets people to like him.

Pretending to be Bart isn’t remarked upon as, like, a difficult task for Thad. In his internal monologue he’s literally bragging to himself about how easy it is. But what’s especially notable to me is where his act differs from Bart's typical MO. Everyone notices, and lots of people comment, and presumably if Thad didn’t have the excuse of Max’s illness to “motivate” Bart to do better he would’ve been found out immediately. And those things are, specifically: paying attention in class, doing his chores, staying on task, and being helpful around the house. The one thing about Bart he chooses not to emulate is Bart’s rebelliousness.

Thad wants to prove himself, constantly, to whatever authority he respects (probably Max in this scenario) and will do whatever it takes to make that happen. In contrast to Bart, who only listens to authority when the shit they're saying actually makes sense to him. It’s excessively difficult to convince him to go against his own interests. (And I think a key part of that is Bart’s security in knowing that no matter how much he fucks up or doesn’t listen, the people he loves will always love him back.)

Thad’s got the people-pleaser in him that has to deserve whatever he’s given. It’s why he’s happiest when he’s given a clear goal or objective to complete, because it gives him an opening to prove himself.

All this to say that if we are quantifying Bart and Thad as a "good" or "bad" twin, in the eyes of every authority: Bart is the bad twin. Bart is the bad twin, Bart is the bad twin. Bart is the one who doesn’t care about school and whose grades vary wildly depending on his personal interest. He’s the one who goes off to do dangerous shit for fun and gets in trouble constantly and doesn’t do his chores and is thoroughly unconvinced by any authority figure trying to sell him bullshit.

Thad is the one who needs to know all the rules just so he can experience the joy of following them. Relentlessly obedient. He'll put all his effort into doing all the right things that’ll endear him to whoever he wants to impress - meaning he’s the asshole who reminds the teacher about the assigned homework. Bart might be the most popular boy in school, but Thad is a pleasure to have in class.

Like Thad can (and should) still be high-strung and short-tempered and sarcastic and edgy and mean, because he is. But he can’t be doing all that without rhyme or reason. Colouring every interaction has to be that one-zero binary of ally or enemy. He needs to have somebody he’s proving himself to: a team he’s on and a team he’s against. He’s not an inherently rebellious character. He can go up against The Enemy, whoever he deems as such, but it has to be in service of a hypothetical future in which somebody eventually tells him he did a great job.

And in the interest of continuing to beat a dead horse, it connects to their respective upbringings. Thad and Bart were both raised in VR, but Bart’s experience had the side effect of basically hard-wiring him against insecurity. His world was a playground tailor-made for him, and he was never made to feel bad or insufficient about any aspect of himself. His first interaction with a real human person was Iris moving heaven and earth to save him, without him knowing her, without her knowing him, with no reasoning for the act needed beyond Being Her Grandson. Which is probably a significant factor in why Bart moves through the world with frankly atomic levels of autistic swag.

Thad’s VR upbringing installed self-consciousness in his psyche before any other personality trait. As in: he is immediately made conscious of himself and his relationship with everyone he will ever encounter. He’s told two things: he’s a clone of someone else (inherently derivative, lesser) and that he was made to be superior (a status to achieve). Which is such an instant clarifier for Thad’s everything. Where superiority is a condition that everyone either has, or does not. It’s the one-zero binary again: are they better than me or am I better than them. Being above others is mandatory, and if his superiority is ever challenged by hard evidence or god forbid nuance Thad’s brain physically cannot take it. He needs to be better, to be worse is unthinkable, and there is no other way to be.

And this status of better or worse is, crucially, not up to Thad to decide. He needs The Authority to validate him. Bart never tries to prove himself because he has nothing to prove. Thad’s entire identity hinges on the self-worth he gets from doing a Good Job.

It is such an inherent part of his motives in the Impulse comics canon, which is why it always feels a little off when he’s interpreted as a jackass indiscriminately.

Like I don't think he needs everyone to like him. But I do think he has either one person or a set of very particular people that he needs to like him. Everyone else is either in that circle or outside of it.

(Which is why Bart is such a great foil for Thad tbh. There is no set of words or behaviors that’ll change Bart’s opinion of Thad, because Bart is unaffected by obedience or charm. So ironically Bart is probably one of few people that Thad doesn’t bother to put on even a little bit of an act for.)

While Bart goes with his instincts, his personal beliefs and convictions at all times, Thad is hyper-conscious of big-picture goals. They balance each other out that way. Thad's keeping track of whatever expectations he has placed on him, and how his actions reflect on him and the team beyond short-sighted solutions. He's a team player. AND he's an asshole.

#soapbox #dc #thad thawne #thaddeus thawne #inertia #bart allen #impulse #like he cannot be mean indiscriminately... u must interrogate WHY hes mean and to whom #if hes being raised with Max and Helen he would not intentionally do anything to make their lives more difficult #if hes being raised by Meloni same situation #he needs to be trying to get validation from SOMEWHERE u know #and of course he'll mess up and hurt the people he loves or wants to impress he is a human being #but while that can sometimes be the result #that is never the Goal u kno #not his Core Motivation #i feel like the more i talk about this the less sense im making

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curtsycream · 2 months

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bro PLEASEEE WRITE any poly 141 smut x reader i’ll DIEEE

Sons Of Anarchy AU

President!Price x Bartender!Reader x Prospect!Gaz

Hints at Vice-President!Simon x Reader, Sergeant in Arms!Soap x Reader. It’s Poly!141 x Reader all round. Reader is basically all four of their old lady she’s the HBIC tbh

I wanted to try something new and why not have them be apart of a motorcycle club/ mechanic shop owners. It’s a hot concept I couldn’t help it but here is the smut! I hope you like it <33

warnings: size kink, manhandling, threesome, blowjob, public sex, slight cock worshiping, ball play (idk a little), throat bulging, and not proofread (yikes), afab reader (its become a force of habit nowadays, thanks to my agere fics)

Putting away the last of the shot glasses on the bar counter she lets out a hum. The chime of the bell above the front door caused her to stand up. Her eyes take in John in all of his glory the MC’s President with a grin on his face.

“John, I thought you guys were heading to New Mexico for that thing with the KorTac MC?”

“Ghost and Soap went with the others, I decided to stay back.”

Placing a shot of whiskey in front of him she raises an eyebrow. She knew there was more to his story than he let on. After a few years of bartending for the MC, she pieced up on mannerisms and behaviors. “Lay it on me, boss, what’s the real reason?”

Looking from the shot to her he shakes his head, “Who’s ta say I have a reason? Maybe I just didn’t feel like going because I’m getting older.”

“Bullshit, we both know you’re as healthy as a stallion,” her focus goes back to cleaning up the bar.

“Oh, am I? Didn’t know you were my doctor,” his voice was drowned out by the sound of the bunnies entering the clubhouse.

Pointing at the door she scowls, “Out girls…y’all know not to come in here around this time.”

Her words were met with eye rolls and huffs of disappointment. It wasn’t anything new as she grew used to the disorderly behavior of the prostitutes. They were always ready to jump at the chance to be with one of the men. They assumed it would earn them a place as an old lady as long as the man they fucked had a kuttle.

“I swear it’s like they don’t give up, just last week I had to scare off a few that were hounding Roach,” she grumbled.

John folded his arms his eyes never leaving the ranting woman before him. It wasn’t a surprise that she was upset she was practically the head old lady in the MC. Aside from being a bartender, she was the support system for 141. He was sure without her being the backbone of their operations they wouldn’t have gotten so far.

“You know what I think,” he mused leaning forward on the counter. The shot glass is in his hand as he twirls the remaining sip of whiskey around. “I think you need to release some stress. When was the last time you moved away from that bar?”

The question hung heavy above her head as she covered her face with her hands. Letting out a groan she shakes her head, “Since last night the party.” The realization of just how long she had been at the clubhouse was finally catching up to her. Removing her hands from her face she looks at the man, “I think I need a break.”

“I figured as much.”

When she first thought over his words of releasing some stress she didn’t think it through. She should have known what he meant but it was too late and he was in deep.

“Keep your hands right there, darling.”

She did just that her hands didn’t move an inch from the bar counter. With each thrust her body jerked forward colliding either the counter. Her moans were ragged, her nails digging into the polished wood before her. The way John’s cock barely fit inside of her was more than a turn-on. He was only halfway in but it was still enough to leave her keening.

“You can take more of me, can’t you girl? You can take all of me if ya want to,” his voice was a rumble.

“Mm—can take more promise, boss.”

That was all it took before his hand raised her leg until it was propped on the countertop. Pulling his cock out he lined himself up with her heat again. It took everything in him not to thrust all the way in the second he felt her wetness coat his cock. “Sweet Lord..” he muttered as he slowly sank into her until he bottomed out.

“Shit..John, need more. Fuck me,” her words direct while she arched her back.

“Yes ma’am,” the roughness in his voice a reflection of his current state. The moment he got the okay he pulled out until only the tip was inside before he slammed back inside. His hands moved up the front of her body rubbing and pulling her nipples. Each sound she made was like heaven to him. She wasn’t shy that much was evident due to where they were.

Bucking his hips forward he buried his face against the side of her neck. His lips left kisses as he whispered praise to her. His words fed a primal urge inside of her, “Always fuck me so good…love your fucking cock.”

If it wasn’t for him holding her up she would have collapsed from his spurt of energy. Her words seemed to do the trick as his thrusts became faster in pace and rougher in intensity. Her grip on the counter loosened up some when she felt his tip hit her cervix repeatedly. The action causes her to clamp around him trying to milk him early.

“Like that, love how you feel inside of me,” she babbled. The words flowing from her lips slowly became nonsensical as she felt him stretch her out due to his size. It was more than enough leaving her stuffed as he grabbed her arms. A gasp left her lips as he held her arms behind her back. Each time he thrusted her body would jerk back and forth. She felt like a toy for his use as he didn’t hold back.

Closing her eyes she let out a loud moan, “‘m so close..please John needa cum. Wanna cum on your cock please,” she felt ready to burst. The warmth pooling in her lower stomach made that clear.

Grunting John leaned forward his lips near her ear, “cum then darling, make a mess on my cock for me.”

His words were her downfall as she came undone right away. All he gave her was a few seconds before he was thrusting into her again. She was still riding out her orgasm as he prepared to send her into another one. “Good girl, such a good girl for me.”

“Always, boss.”

The nickname had more of an effect on him than he would like to admit. Pulling her flush against his chest he grabbed her by the thighs. Holding her legs wide open he thrusted up into her. The sight of her gushing pussy with his cock moving in and out was on display to their invisible audience. “Oh…fuck..” she let out as her fingers moved down to her pussy as she rubbed her clit. Her fingers fast as she heard him shudder. She knew he was close it was all in the lazy strokes and his heavy breathing.

Her breathing hitched as she felt his cock pride at her spot before he came inside of her. A guttural moan left his throat at the same time that she let out a cry. Her fingers still rubbing her clit as she squirted coating her fingers and his cock in her juices.

“Fuck, that was hot.”

Looking up she noticed Gaz the man had a grin on his face. The look of lust in his eyes didn’t go unnoticed by either of them.

“Am I late? Don’t tell me you forgot about me,” he asked a small pout playing at his lips.

Smiling at him she shakes her head, “never we’re just getting started.”

Her throat flexed as she took Gaz’s cock down her throat. Though he was slightly smaller in girth compared to John he made up for it in length. His hands rest on either side of her head holding her in place as he thrusted in and out of her mouth. His cock disappeared behind her lips as he watched with bated breath.

A moan ripped from her throat vibrating against his cock. His hands twitched as he groaned from the feeling. The reason behind her moans was John whose head was between her thighs. His tongue lapped at her folds sucking on the glistening skin.

Her fingers lace in his hair as he raises her hips while his tongue licks from top to bottom. Looking up at Gaz she kept her eyes on his face. His closed eyes, knit brows, and parted lips that released a sound with each thrust. Using her free hand she raises it past his length to cradle his balls. She knew her men inside and out when it came to their spots and their weaknesses. Her thumb gently runs along his balls evoking a loud groan from him. A gasp left her own lips when John’s tongue flicked her clit.

It was hard to focus as her hand continued to gently stroke and rub his balls. Her other hand twitched as she kept a loose grip on John’s hair. She took note of the signs as Gaz seemed to move slower his hips stuttering with each thrust. Slowly but surely she was coaxing his release out of him. It was in the way her hand caressed his balls and how she would bob her head forward gagging on his cock. In that same way, John’s skillful attack on her swollen cunt was leading her into another orgasm.

“Shit baby,” Gaz said as his hand rested on her throat feeling as his cock would reach the back of her throat. He was over with the second he felt it, her little noises didn’t help either. Keeping his hand on her throat he tossed his head back cumming down her throat.

She was swallowing as her eyebrows furrowed when her own orgasm came. Her thighs shook as she came with John holding her firmly in place. Even as her hips rocked forward he didn’t let up until he raised his head. Her eyes focused on him as he swallowed with a cheeky smile. The pounding in her heart was hard as she watched him move away. It allowed her to sit up a bit when Gaz finally removed his cock from her mouth. Leaning up on her knees she wipes the drool from her chin.

With the help of Gaz, she got down from the bar counter standing on her feet. The ache between her thighs filled her with a rush of adrenaline. “I think we should take this upstairs, loves…I’m sure we can find use of that shower.”

A chuckle left John as he nodded, “I like the sound of that, darling.”

Pulling her close to his side Gaz smiles, “I’m not complaining. Need to see if you can take two like Soap said.”

“I can promise you, I can take more than two,” she said with a wink before sauntering away. The two men weren’t far behind ready to try a few more things before the day ended.

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drawnfamiliarfaces · 3 months

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I’ve been simping over your ‘human’ Nomicon design since it came out in Ninja-November. If you have any headcanons about them, would you please share?

ah, a fellow monster/eldritch horror enjoyer I see! thank you! <3 tbh that Nomicon design was like an one day revelation, because while I love all the human!Nomi designs I've seen over the years (and there are some banger ones, man), it hit me that we as a fandom really underutilize all the uncanny aspects Nomi possesses. So ye. I do have a couple hc.

Nomicon is an entity that doesn't have its own face and voice.

Whenever Nomicon talks to Randy it uses proxies in form of art/images/drawings/scribbles/writings. It gives strangely non-verbal vibes for something so cryptically eloquent! And whenever it does use a voice, its voice of the First Ninja (or more accurately his VA xD) , its first owner/wielder. When it uses a face, its usually the static/unmoving marble-like faces of Art or silly pen scribbles - both of which hold that uncanny valley look of something that looks human but really isn't. Not to mention the fact that it once literally stole Randy's face/body to teach him a lesson.

I like to think that Nomicon has a library of faces/visages/voices it can take on, but all of them are creepily unsettling because - what would a book know about how to be human? It's face moves wrong, the eyes are too wide open, its body is creepily still, the voice uses inflections like its copying someone else (and sometimes voice warbles and changes/overlaps with other voices because it has so many).

All of it gives these fae/cryptid vibes of creatures that steal voices/faces to trick people, but in this case Nomicon collects those faces/voices from its owners along with their memories (which is another messed up thing we collectively forget is very creepy lol).

Nomicon is an entity that doesn't have a body, and most importantly - hands.

The reason I gave Nomicon so many shadow hands is because, well, Nomicon is a book. Hands hold those books, so the hands are very important to Nomi. All those shadow hands? Are memories of all the hands that held it (mostly previous Ninjas, but also the Creep and some others). It remembers everyone who held it.

The fit- the hat and the cape are kind of obvious, it look like center of the cover and the cape looks like covers on either side with pages underneath. The weirdest addition I made - is the spaghetti noodle-doodle 'hair'.

It constantly fascinates me that Nomicon, besides the Greek Key/9 motif, has those sort of concentration circles that are also present during Mask/Suit transformation. It gave me thought of sort of weird halos i guess?? Which adds to creepy vibe, but in this case its biblically accurate angel / holy deity type of vibes.

Nomicon has very basic understanding of humanity.

For all the experiences/memories/personalities it was created from and it absorbed over the years, human things are a rather alien concept for the book. It's the reason Nomicon is so bad at its timing whenever it buzzes Randy. It just doesnt care that you are at school Randy, its trying to teach you how to be a better ninja!!! In some sense, it absorbed the most prevalent quality of First Ninja - the dedication to duty, the whole reason for its existence - to serve Ninjas to be the best they can. So, such human/mortal things as good grades/video games/a good nights sleep are very nebulous concepts to it.

Less of a hc but more of an observation/gripe but-

COME ON ITS NAME??? Ninjanomicon as in Ninjanecronomicon??? Because lets be honest its not just a book/guide for Ninjas its a book full of DEAD NINJAS??? LIKE??? In some sense all previous Ninjas, when they go through Ultimate Lesson, 'die' in the real world (because they are no longer Ninjas) and are preserved in Nomicon. And First is like deadass dead? (Plop plop too lol). So I feel like there should be more creepiness about that.

Anyway thats basically most of it, and sorry for silly doodles but i cant really draw creepy stuff xD

#que?#rc9gn #ninjanomicon #can i even tag it #human!ninjanomicon #honestly its more #cryptid!ninjanomicon #listen: do i simp for every hot human!nomi design?? ye??? im only human lol im weak #but i do feel like creepy cryptid nomicon that is tasked with watching/teaching ninja teenagers has a lot of potential #like imagine cryptid!nomi while being wise is also not really understanding basic human stuff and every wielder teaches it something new #im kinda channeling all those hcs about urban legends/cryptids making friends with humans and learning human things (tm)#but there is also this tang of angst because every 4 or so years Nomi looses its humans ;( so sad

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followthebluebell · 2 months

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entirely random question, if you happen to have any thoughts on it: why are cats so terrible at fetch when dogs aren't? even kitties who enjoy the "chase-and-return" concept usually don't actually fully return the toy when it seems like dogs work that part out pretty quick.

Because we bred dogs to do it, basically. A lot of dog breeds are retrievers, which do exactly what it says on the tin: they retrieve things. Teaching my poodle to play fetch didn't require much 'teaching' because those instincts are right there at the surface. He wants to fetch things the same way an artist wants to create. It's what he was born to do.

Even dogs that aren't retrievers are still dogs and are, in general, hardwired to listen and learn from people. People can and will make an argument about 'oh, but this breed is STUBBORN' (ie, huskies, salukis, a lot of hounds tbh, pretty much every primitive breed, etc; I'm not going to sit here and list all the breeds that are deemed 'difficult to train'), but I don't think that's fully accurate. Primitive breeds that are 'hard to train' are STILL going to learn from humans. They just don't always learn the things we're trying to teach them, but that's an entirely different kettle of fish.

I also want to emphasize that I FULLY believe that dogs changed us too. I don't think humans would be what we are today if it wasn't for our fully unique relationship with dogs. There's no other animal that we've domesticated the same way we have dogs, and there never will be. They fulfill so many roles in the development of human kind that it's astonishing. They were our hunting companions, our guardians, our trackers, our food, they even supplied wool (the salish wool dog is an extinct breed that was raised for wool similar to sheep), and our friends. Because of them, we became human. Because of us, they became dogs.

i'm sorry i'm getting really emotional about dogs. It's just that there's such a deep relationship between the species. Over our centuries, dogs became so incredibly attuned to us, to the point where they have the ability to communicate with and understand us more than any other domesticated species and we have the same with them. There's no other species on earth that inherently understands what a human means when we point a finger, but dogs DO.

basically dogs fetch because we bred them to want to retrieve, they want to learn things from us, and we want to teach them. Cats don't have any of these instincts. This doesn't mean they're any lesser or greater. They're just different and that's fantastic.

#dog #hi i really love dogs #i'm very much a cat person #but i love dogs very much

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