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#theres no reason anyone should not be able to understand that they cant treat a patient. and ik that this one actually can. so im so
ardienothesieno · 2 months
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quietly raging while sitting on a crumbling leather couch. feeling sick. listening to hawaii part ii.
huge vent under cut
i just want to draw, man. i want you to leave me alone like i keep asking, i want privacy i want autonomy i dont want you looking over my shoulder policing my every move i can afford to fail a bit i just. i just want to be my own person to have hobbies to be able to talk to my friends to not be scared every time you walk by because you'll yell at me, force me into boxes and try to make my brain work in ways it doesnt know how to yet. you say you dont care about me being perfect but that you know *I* care so you care because I care but I keep trying to tell you I DONT care anymore. yeah being a perfect little person is *great* and everything but damn it theres too much shit that comes with it and im sick and tired of that shit and i keep trying to tell you that but you wont listen and every time I finally think you hear me that youre listening to what *I* want but then you do this again and you wonder why I dont trust you!! my god im not a kid anymore stop treating me like im about to shatter into a thousand pieces have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, I know myself better then you do now? that ive taken what ive learned from hiding myself in a mental box all my life and maybe, just maybe, hide in that box around you??? and every time. every time I think maybe I can come out of the box so I test the waters i peek my face out to see if it's safe but it never is and I have to go back. maybe I dont tell you everything anymore because why should I. you dont trust me so why should I trust you. maybe there's a reason I spend so much time hiding on the internet. maybe the people on here know me better then anyone out there has ever known me. what if I actually feel safe here what if it's the only place I feel like I can say the shit I want to because maybe people here care more then all of you out there, that maybe here people dont question me and try to fix everything for me and if I can't deal with a person well god damn it that's the whole reason there's a block button. I can't block people in real life. in real life there's maybe two people I would ever talk about this shit with and one if them i dont know well enough to feel comfortable with dumping this shit on them and the other has enough of their own crap going on i cant do that to her. but I feel like the people here are really actually my friends i feel like I can trust them i would kill for them theyre my FRIENDS. you seem to think that not knowing names or faces or every detail of someone's life invalidates any possibility of "friendship" but they understand me better then you do. better then anyone irl does. and yet you think that theyre not safe that im not safe because i call them friends THEYRE MY FUCKING FRIENDS. I feel safe here I don't feel safe out there with you trying to make me into something I'm not. here no one cares!! they either like me or don't like me or hate me but they don't EXPECT anything of me unless i tell them they can. unlike you. you expect something I can't both do and stay sane at the same time because "oh you've done it before you can do it now" THINGS HAVE CHANGED. I HAVE CHANGED.
stop fucking trying to make me into a perfect little human being. im not. im not perfect damn it LET ME BE AN IMPERFECT PERSON.
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u ppl p know i can a bit of a stickler for characterization. but honestly i cant be fuked to debate over the minute details of characterization, with people taking p solid stances on smaller differences.
i like to think most of my issues with other ppls characterizations stem from not wanting stereotypes or derogatory characterizations to be perpetrated, normal to do with class or race, and how that affects the characters characterization, such as ill frown on anyone using morrisons talia characterization because its rooted in racism and antiasian stereotypes such as dragon lady and dragon lady baby mama, and if you characterize stephanie brown as a dumb reckless kid, which is rooted in classism and sexism.
but if people have different opinions on things unlike that? i try not to care! i understand its my personal opinion that is affected by how i read the source material. the minute of 'the true batman characterization' or 'just how angry should jason todd be' while interesting to debate, gets annoying when people are trying to say theres a true answer thats for everyone. i vary on the batman scale hour to hour[and depending on the situation], and i vary on my opinion on the minute of jason and dicks brotherhood often to.
idk i think what im trying to say is its comics. 'true' characterization is a myth and i think you should just think critically about whether the characterization is harmful, but other than that? its free reign. people will have different opinions and you should be able to respect and deal with that, and if not, remove yourself from the conversation[i do that a lot] i will enjoy good faith debates over the minute of characterization, but as long as its not harmful or derogatory. well you can do what you want
[not saying you should never critisise ppls opinions just open mind and dont engage unless its harmful. and dont bitch about them where they will see it<- that is the reason i have so many drafts] [also i specifically said free reign to unharmful opinions. if its rooted in racism or classism or homophobia or so on call that shit out]
tldr: ive decided to give less of a fuck about characterization and stick to removing myself if i cant good faith debate if its harmless.
added reasoning: i think arguing against harmful characterizations has bled over into how we argue about nonharmfull characterizations and we need to tone it down a little. we're here to have fun so have fun! but when seemingly innocent characterizations are harmful it can be hard to treat actual innocent characterizations in a different manner
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More Divaz confos
Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.
1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.
~Anonymous
2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way
/s
~Anonymous
3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!
~Anonymous
4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......
~Anonymous 
5. RE: BJD Divaz
I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.
I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.
I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.
I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?
If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.
Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".
Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?
The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.
This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.
~Anonymous
6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.
My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.
~Anonymous
7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.
~Anonymous
8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.
PROS
-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.
-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.
-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.
-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.
CONS
-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.
-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.
-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.
All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.
Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.
~Anonymous
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chikkou · 3 years
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Will you talk more about Lisa?? Lisa the character specifically but also your feelings on his feelings about Buddy? I just thought your analysis was so good and I want to hear other thoughts you have on her.
yall are honestly spoiling me rn sdhkfdjfks this is like a dream come true 
i already got into the stuff with buddy in this ask here but i have a LOT to say about lisa and the connection between her and buddy so u better settle in!
ok so firstly ill start with lisa. i played the original lisa game (lisa the first) not long after it first dropped in 2012, and im not even kidding when i said it changed me LMAO.... seeing a story about a girl suffering is nothing new, but austin jorgensens approach to it was so fucking unique. you dont just witness it, you get to EXPERIENCE it right along with her. many stories that involve sexual abuse/rape show or otherwise depict it explicitly for the shock value, which is both disgusting and, in my opinion, extremely fucking exploitative. i feel that it is horrific to dignify an act so deeply evil with screentime. but lisa stood out to me immediately because, even though you know exactly whats going on, the game NEVER shows anything explicit. everything is layered in subtext and symbolism, and austin is fantastic with indirect storytelling, so you learn so much from just a little drop of information. this applies not just to the game proper, but to the character as well.
in case its not clear: i absolutely ADORE lisa. she is my favorite character in all of the games, bar none. its going to sound kind of fucked up, but as a kid around her age going through some fucked up shit, her committing suicide at the end felt like a sort of victory to me. she knew she could never escape from marty or what he was doing to her. he leaks into every single part of her psyche, everything she ever cared about or loved is ruined because of him, and even the vague memory of her mother is completely corrupted, and turned into a muddled version of him. lisa the first also had the added benefit of some religious commentary, as there are crosses all over their home and marty is characterized as an extremely religious man, which i fucking LOVE and wish had come back in the painful, but its an acceptable loss. anyway, lisa committing suicide at the end was an act of defiance against not just marty, but martys god, as suicide is considered a mortal sin in catholicism. lisa knew she’d never be free of marty in life, so she escaped the only way she could; she was defiant to the end.
ive seen people complain that the painful has a bit of a “lost lenore” thing going on, since lisas death seems to fuel the Manpain of both brad and buzzo, but i actually disagree. on the contrary, its just like austin himself said - lisa will never be gone. lisa is ALWAYS there, with brad, and buzzo, and buddy, and marty, and yado, and the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD. i dont necessarily think that there is something paranormal going on in the game, but i AM going to say that, unlike other cases of a girl/woman dying for a mans backstory, lisa isnt just a bittersweet memory they can reflect on and then put away when its convenient for them. she is a presence that is felt throughout the entire game. brad sees her more than once, sometimes watching, sometimes reprimanding him. buzzo is clearly haunted by her, as he cries out to her a few times in the joyful. every character who was directly touched by lisa - brad, marty, and buzzo - calls out to lisa as they die. call it their guilt or call it her actions, but in either case, it is clear that lisa just as significant of a character in the painful as she was in the first, even if she cant always be seen. even in a meta-sense, every game in the series - even the joyful, whose protagonist doesnt even know who she is - is named after her. she is at the center of everything that happens in them. 
that actually brings me to buddy, because i find the dynamic between her and lisa fucking fascinating. as i previously mentioned, brad never talked about his past with buddy, and snaps at her for bringing up his adoptive son dusty (rando), so it goes without saying that she definitely doesnt know who lisa is. in spite of that, though, lisa is a fucking massive part of buddys life, and while she may not know the person herself, i think she is aware that when people (and brad especially) look at her, they arent seeing HER. 
i mentioned it in another post, but even though brad takes it upon himself to raise and “protect” buddy, he seems to almost unwittingly recreate lisas appearance, primarily by allowing her hair to grow long even though he knows what a risk that is to her safety. he also treats buddy in a manner thats incredibly similar to how marty treated lisa (sans sexual abuse, of course) - he insults her, does not let her leave the house at all, and forces her to do unsavory things that no one should ever have to do (in buddys case, this means killing at least two innocent people because brad doesnt want a “weak” daughter). the most literal comparison between buddy and lisa is the fact that they are both very young girls being essentially held captive by their father figures, albeit for different reasons, and both long for freedom from their captors. 
theres also the fact that both buddy and lisa have to deal with misogyny and the effects of rape culture firsthand; they both battle against men who feel entitled to do with them whatever they please, and the threat of ongoing sexual abuse looms heavy over both of their heads. neither one can seek help from anyone; the neighbors in brad and lisas town seem complacent at best, if they even know what is happening to lisa at all, and buddys only allies (sans rando) are long dead by the start of the joyful. this is not just a hypothetical or a distant possibility. this is the real, tangible fate that will befall them if they cant somehow secure their safety.
sadly, because lisa wasnt playable in either of the rpgs, we dont know if she was able to fight as brad was, but it is highly probable that she had the innate skill but was never able to learn it (as marty highly discouraged them from learning “their grandfathers karate,” and seemed disgusted whenever brad did so). however, she did have ONE weapon she could make use of, and this is a weapon buddy ends up using, as well - her femininity. she became close to bernard (aka buzzo), made him fall in love with her, and then used him as a last ditch effort to stop martys abuse by having him mutilate her face. im not saying lisa never cared about bernard - in fact, i think she DID really love and care for him - but her own fucked up experiences with “love” meant she really couldnt understand what it was supposed to be like, or that it was wrong to manipulate the people you care about. lisa did very few things wrong - it pretty much just stops at the maiming of the cat and her manipulation of bernard - but she knew that she would never get away from marty without some kind of drastic action being taken, and scarring herself was her last ditch effort before ultimately committing suicide.
buddy ends up taking a somewhat similar tack in the joyful, and like in lisas case, its simultaneously resourceful and horrific. one of buddys key moves in the joyful is to flash the enemy (which the player obviously doesnt see) in order to distract them long enough to get the kill. its fucking horrible and disgusting and makes you feel so dirty, but then, how must buddy feel having to do something like that just to survive? shes just a child, but in a world where almost every man is out to get you, she knows this has to be done to save herself, very much like lisa. unlike in lisas case, though, buddy is successful in securing her safety in this way - lisas effort is for naught, and leads to her committing suicide not very long after. 
in a way, i sort of attribute buddys brutality to lisas omnipresence; all of the men pursuing buddy are just like marty, monsters who would harm a fucking child for their own disgusting ends, and i think that when buzzo said that lisa wouldve loved olathe, what he means is that she would have loved seeing so many horrible men being punished for what theyd done. so in my opinion, buddy carving out a place for herself in olathe by killing all those who would subjugate her seems very much in the mentality lisa would have had. sure, there are some innocents who sadly get roped into it, but that would definitely not be her intention; for example, if buzzo could have practiced amputation without harming a living thing, i dont think lisa would have asked him to practice on the cat. note the LACK of brutality at the beehive and the swamp bar, two of the few peaceful places in the painful and both devoid of predatory men hunting for buddy - lisa has no qualm with any of them. but marty? brad could hardly even get a full sentence out before killing him on the spot. i dont doubt that that has a great deal to do with lisas presence. 
ok i talked for a while LMAO but basically i think that, in a more metatextual sense, lisa and buddys relationship really strikes me as an accurate depiction of generational trauma. of course it was intentional with the more obvious trauma chain (marty to brad to buddy), but the trauma chain of marty to lisa to buddy is rarely ever addressed due to lisa not physically appearing in the painful. however, i believe it may inform buddys actions a great deal more than people realize - after all, buddys experience is unique, but who could understand it better than lisa? who knows that sort of pain, of being alone on an island, the lone woman trapped with a man (or men) who want nothing more than to cause you harm? even without her realizing it, lisa is guiding buddy, encouraging her to take back what is hers no matter the cost, to punish those who would try to take what they want from her. lisa might be dead, but she is a vengeful presence throughout every game, and buddys actions feel like theyre meant not only to save herself, but to avenge lisa, even if she doesnt realize it. at the end of the day, buddy and lisa both get to exact revenge against all the men who have wronged them, and they succeed. they are aggressive, and violent, and selfish, and ANGRY - and they have every fucking right to be. 
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felidfavs · 3 years
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oh man theres that tiktok rn where a nonbinary person is expressing their annoyance with certain nonbinary community subsets and ive been trying SO HARD not to comment on it but hHHHHH.
On one hand i completely get where they are coming from and its definitely A Thing so like no shade to that persons experiences and the video itself isnt outright disrespectful at all but GOD does it rub me so wrong.
like im also not fond of the sound and feel of enby, and people can totally like or dislike it and no one should force it on anyone else for sure! But the only reason it sounds "infantile" is because of the whole "kiki vs boba" concept where certain sounds, along with conventions in the english language like short syllables and stuff being associated with endearments and softer concepts and objects- theres nothing else about it that means that. Even if you take it out of verbal and write it "NB" that removes a lot of the softness- which is why when its a problem its always phoneticized. because "NB" isnt the FEELING of the sound youre hearing.
But that thing where people dont want to be infantalized (valid) being combined with people not wanting to be associated with "weird" "cringe" or "childish" things like associating with concepts like animals or fantasy creatures or objects... ends up feeling SUPER misogynistic and ableist to me?
The people who relate to raccoons and gremlins and shit arent doing it to be quirky and childish. Theyre doing it because of a fucking destroyed relationship with being able to identify with other human beings and reclaiming and playing with that alienation and expression. Theyre doing it because anytime you get remotely into the ballpark of an aesthetic claimed by a large enough group of a certain gender, their identity is once again questioned and people start treating them as THAT and not as THEM.
And like. I get that. I'm not huge on it myself but I literally have multiple "sona" characters based on dead cats because of struggling with derealization and depersonalization and depression and my identity and shit like. i really fucking understand wanting nothing to do with being perceived as anything remotely close to your physical self and thus distancing really hard from "normal human".
And then it also kicks into the ballpark of how a lot of neurodivergent people do similar and thats constantly trashed and bullied for being weird and abnormal. And given how theres a HUGE, HUUUGE problem with how people assume everyone whose nonbinary is afab... and specifically even in that video the person was kinda coming from a "why is that SIDE of the nb demographic like this why are the ""transmasc/amab""* types alienated" like, just, makes me flinch into...
is this another young ""women""(not women) cant be interested or do literally anything without being mocked? cause it has some of that flavour! With a little bit if "these """women""" arent nonbinary they just want to be weird and not beholden to the label of women" its just! mm! dont like it. (* also with the nod that is NB and necessarily any desire to be associated with those labels)
But yea. I donnnttt like it. I get where theyre coming from and super agree that if they feel like they cant be welcomed into the community or actively alienated thats an issue for sure! But I also super dont like the feeling of the video that the problem causing that issue is that theres some sort of monolith nonbinary culture that is cringey and should be minimized or downgraded in any way. From my understanding the joy of being nonbinary is that its usually an intentional departure from being able to be defined by your expression in the world and activities and roles and that you literally can not typify what it means to be nonbinary and thus anything goes.
So to me that person just... needs to find theyre bubble and fortify their comfort and security in what their identity means to them and find people who reinforce that euphoria for them. Cause like. As a nonbinary person who barely does fuck all irl to """seem nonbinary""".... can confirm we exist. No one defines nonbinary. People who try are usually trying simply to other themselves from it, because you cant other yourself or someone else until you have a definition. And othering isnt necessarily bad, but do it with love and intention. Your other is not meant to be your enemy.
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mister-lady · 3 years
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geez, i love your writing so much. water totally does have a taste tho. otherwise when you went to other places besides your house you wouldn't think that the water tasted weird there!!! which i'm now realizing might just be a me thing lol. anyway! if it's okay to send another prompt (i don't wanna overwork you!) then howa bout 9 with Remus cuz you said you didn't like him at first and the prompt says "forced to spend time together"!!!
*sobs* th-thANK yoUu!!!! And exactly!!!! Water has a taste!!!!! Janus doesn't agree tho smh. I definelty get that tho! One of my friends house that I go to I cant have their water cause it tastes funky to me dkkvkskg.
AAA ILLYYYY🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘❤💘❤❤❤💘❤💘❤💘❤❤❤🌟❤❤❤❤❤❤💘💘💘💘🌟🌟🌟🌟you're not overworking me at all!!!!!!!! I'm absolutely loving all of these thank you sososoo muchhh🥺🥺🥺🥺👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈👉😭👈👈😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺💘❤💕❤💕❤💕❤❤💕 this was super fun to do!!! Especially becuase I normally don't talk much about my enemies to lovers thing with Remus so it was kinda nice to almost project it onto here!!!🥰🥰🥰 Also sorry I got a little carried away while writing and it got a little off-topic from the prompt-
Prompt: A moves into a new apartment and wants to check out the closest dog park. Their dog loves it there, especially that one dog that seems to be there almost every time they go. With their dogs being madly in love with each other, A and the other owner, B, are forced to spend more time together as well
Warnings: strong curse words used a minor amount. Very small angst.
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Matt had moved into an apartment, hoping to build up some money for a home. He was living the life though, being able to do things when he wanted, without people complaining at him. However, Matt had gotten a little lonely so he did the best solution! He got a pet. Now, Matt normally wasn't a fan of dogs, mainly ones that barked a lot, but when he had been searching through the animal shelter and found a very peaceful dog. It was maybe around 1 year old and it was a small poneramium. Normally small dogs barked a lot but this one was fairly quiet and Matt liked it for that. He named his dog Siskel. Since an apparment was a small place Matt had searched up local dog parks he could take his dog to and let it play for a bit and get some exercise. Matt was unbelievably happy when his dog had found another dog friend! He thought they were adorable together and seemed to get along so well too! What he hated was the rat-bastard that owned the dog. You know how theres the couple in movies that want be together but the parents hate eachother? It was essentially that for Matt, but it was one-sided. The other person seemed to find Matt amusing, even though Matt had often showed that he didn't care much for him. Sometimes Matt would feel bad for the way he treated the person, he never gave him a true chance. But then the person would say something that made Matt stop feeling as guilty. The downfall for Matt was that he had scheduled days that he could go to the park where he had free time so it's not like he could ignore the other guy either. Plus, he would feel bad for depriving his puppy of it's friend just because Matt had been salty.
Matt had currently been sitting on a bench at the dog park and was keeping a close eye on Siskel. He made sure to keep his dog on a leash incase it did go to do soemthing bad, he could pull it back, plus, he didn't have to worry about Siskel running off either. Matt could tell just by the way his dog acted, that it was impatiently waiting for it's friend to arrive. Matt was trying to take it's mind off of waiting for it's friend and was throwing a pinecone for his dog. He would use a toy but if another dog came up who knew wheres its mouth had been? Siskel knew not to fully bite on the pinecone, but it would still bark at it and pretend to play with it. Matt couldn't help but smile as he watched. Though, poor Matthew's smile didn't last for long as he felt the same ol' guy sit next to him. Matt knew a little information about him, like his name and such, but only because he had told him like Matt had asked.
"Hey, Maaattttt!!" He chimed.
"Hi, Remus" Matt huffed.
Matt watched as the dogs quickly ran up to eachother and played with a pinecone together. It was very wholesome. However Matt casted a confused glance towards Remus, not understanding why he was so silent.
"You're quiet." Matt commented, while raising an eyebrow.
"I am?" Remus asked, as if he wasn't aware of what Matt was talking about.
"Yeah, normally you're rambling on about something that happened to you, or about how you poisoned your enemies cake or soemthing." Matt soon regretted speaking up, as he watched a very amused smile grow across Remus's face.
Remus gave Matt a very tight hug, causing Matt to squeak from alarm. Matt couldn't help but notice now warm Remus had felt and he could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.
"Wh-.. what?" Matt questioned.
"You do listen!!! I was always afraid you never listened to my stories!" Remus seemed to be bursting with excitement.
"Well, I mean I kinda have too, you tail me around against my will." Matt flatly pointed out.
"Pssshh, yeah cuase you don't like me. Totally"
"I hate you. And why are you still hugging me??"
Remus withdrew and let go of the hug. Matt could've sworn he thought Remus looked a little upset for a moment, but if he did it was quickly replaced by happiness.
"You knowwww... it took you a little while for you to tell me to stop hugging youuu" Remus teased.
"You're honestly the biggest idiot I know and it hurts to be around you."
"You can insult me all you want but it's not going to change the fact that you like my hugs!"
"You're a lunatic and burn down places. The last thing I want is your hugs."
"Is that why you let me hug you?"
"I didn't let you hug me! If I did I would've hugged back. But I didn't."
"You let me hug you and you listen to what I say? Mmmmm... I'm pretty sure you like me."
"I don't like you, I'm just that lonely."
"Most people that don't like me get a restraining order, so you must like me to some extent, right?" Remus gave Matt a puppy-eyed look.
Matt groaned in annoyance. "I just might if I have to sit here any longer."
"That's not a no~"
"And it's definitely not a yes."
"Well, it's not a no, so I'll take what I can get."
"You're a dunce."
"I still don't see why you hang out with me so much then."
"Hang?? Out?? I-? Me??- with yOu??-" Matt stumbled over his words in aghast. "Okay, I certainly don't, and would never, hang out with you, Remus. You come up to me. I deal with it because for some stupid reason my dog likes your dog, and I do what's good for my dog because I have a little bit of common sense."
Remus pouted at Matt's little tangent and crossed his arms. "Fine. I won't talk with you then. Maybe then you'll like me more."
Matt shook his head, "Why do you care so much for whether I like you or not?"
Remus only glared at him and didn't respond. Matt decided to take the opportunity of peace and quiet, however, as time started to pass, he felt like something was bugging him. Like he was itching to do soemthing and he didn't know what. Like something was...off. He gave Remus a curious glance, wondering if he had done something, but by the looks of it he was behaving like a decent human being. If that was the case, then what was bugging Matt?? He had gotten what he wished for, had he not? He subconsciously gave Remus an almost longing kind of look, and Remus met his gaze for a split second, only to look away. Matt couldn't help but fear a pang of hurt in his heart, only to be quickly filled with frustration at himself. Remus complete was the opposite of a normal, decent, and civilized person. All he did was annoy Matt, so why did Matt feel bad? He quickly answered his own question. Remus hadn't done anything bad directly towards Matt, and Matt had acted like a huge douche towards him for no reason. Matt felt his eyes water up a bit at the realization and quickly blinked it away. He felt terrible for the way he had acted.
"I'm sorry." Matt spoke, his voice cracking a little bit causing him to inwardly cringe.
Remus looked at him, but gave him a questioning look as if asking him to go on.
"I'm sorry for being a massive and terrible douche towards you. You hadn't done anything wrong, if anything, out of all the things you've told me about I should be lucky that you didn't do anything to me and I'm really, really, sorry and I know that doesn't really change anything but I completely understand if you don't forgive me, and honestly with the way I've treated you I probably don't deserve your forgiveness." Matt had gotten repeatedly choked up as he spoke and had to keep clearing his throat or blinking away the water in his eyes in a sad attempt to hide what he was feeling.
Remus eyes had widened in surprise. That was by far not what he had expected at all. He didn't expect too much of an appology especially from Matt, so the heart felt appology took him a few seconds to process.
"..Matt?" Remus spoke.
"Yea?"
"Can I hug you?"
Matt quickly nodded his head and felt his face twist as he felt a few tears go down his face agaisnt his will. He didn't realize all the weird feelings he had subconsciously bottled up, but as Remus tackled him into a hug, almost knocking him off the bench they had been sitting on, Matt couldn't help but sniffle a little bit. He felt the warmth from Remus engulf him again, and his mind drifted to how nice Remus's arms and hands had felt to be wrapped around him. Matt tried to calm down his sudden emotions and breathed a little more slowly, and slowly slithered his arms up and around Remus's back and rested his head on his shoulder.
"We never speak of this to anyone." Matt mumbled.
Remus giggled and nodded his head in agreement, causing Matt to laugh a little bit himself.
"I knew you always liked me a little bit." Remus teased.
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adios-gatos · 4 years
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I hope I'm not too late for the ask meme, could I ask n° 1 for the boys? Any combo you feel like! - Piraticusdorm
of course you arent dw!!
CONRAD:
BELLUS: - first of all hes already v into the piraticus dorm’s uniform for the shirts mostly and is usually into pretty people so the moment he sees conrad and his flashy fashion hes 👀. though conrad doesnt seem like the kind of person bellus would actually get a crush on?? its likely because hes an authority figure dnksa - not having a crush wouldnt stop him from hitting on conrad occasionally, mostly because bellus enjoys flustering people who seem composed. he does Not understand that being a mermaid in of itself can make others uncomfortable even if theyre in the same dorm - does want to braid some of the water flowers in the lake the boys claimed into conrads hair. if conrad declines he might try to sneak them in as a little game
MERI: - for reasons he wouldnt admit too, somehow meris jealous that conrad has kenns respect?? hes a lil jealous of anyone kenn respects but hes the most jealous over conrad - because of that hes huffy towards conrad and gives him the silent treatment. which doesnt really work on someone who doesnt know you but maybe its a blessing if anything and no one should explain that to meri - meri has made Many plans for pranks against conrad but conrad seems like a v observant guy?? so that and caspian and kenn being there to stop meri makes the situation lowkey feel like a wilde coyote and roadrunner one tbh
CASPIAN: - so like. he and the others had to get over their opinions about pirates pre-nrc quickly when they were put into the piraticus dorm and hes done p well with that. but he still cant stop feeling wary when he sees conrads eye patch and hat he wears in the dorm(?). but kenn likes him and the feeling isnt as bad whenever conrad is in more casual clothing so caspian just tolerates it - even with that, he enjoys the times conrad plays the piano and sings with everyone
KENN: - he has a lot of respect for conrad for being able to manage the dorm and as a result everyone within in. despite that he lowkey avoids talking to him when he can since after moving to nrc hes become Aware of the opinions people have about mermaids mostly because now he cant ignore them. so kenns likely aware of the fact conrad is uncomfortable around mermaids and tries to restrain the others enough where conrad doesnt have to get involved - probably overthinks if his magic specifically makes conrad uncomfortable since his is straight up siren magic. he learned that it isnt acceptable to just use his magic whenever he feels like during first year but since theyre both third years, when kenn remembers how he was when he was still adjusting hes just ‘god conrad saw that.’ hes found hours later by caspian with his head in his hands still embarrassed  - vibes a lot with the keeping your word but using any loopholes possible method conrad also uses. may or may not try to subtly point out loopholes to him if he somehow looks over one
TINK:
BELLUS: - likes trying to pick out the bells in tinks voice whenever hes singing and enjoys even more watching tink dance. bellus is most interested in whenever tink flies while dancing but the thought of doing the same makes him a lil skittish. flying seems fun but he isnt fond of the thought of what happens if you fall. you cant fall when youre in water!! - with the fact hes a hopeless romantic, the moment he hears about tinks secret admirer hes !!! and also trying to find out who it is. though if/when he does, he wont tell tink who it is because that Ruins the Suspense!! The Mystery!! that doesnt keep bellus from using knowing that secret to tease tink though so f
MERI: - even if meri isnt the nicest of the gang, he does like tinks pranks and will try to get tink involved in his. especially the ones that involve octavinelle - may Try to not provoke tink besides playful teasing because of the fact he sees tink as a potential prank buddy. he also understands neverland faeries more than mainlanders and non mermaid folk in general so hes more willing to rein himself in if it means tink will join his games - they both have some similar qualities like being quick to act out & fight and having fun at the expense of others. theyd either get along well or butt heads. maybe a bit of both! if they do play pranks together itd be harder for meri to get genuinely mad at tink when they clash. though he might end up treating it like a game and make tink more upset when they do smh
CASPIAN: - thinks its amusing to watch tinks pranks but he wont outwardly show more than maybe a smile at his antics - since he likes people watching and sometimes drawing said people, caspian probably has some drawing of tink in his journal mostly focused on his face. he just remembers all the other neverland faeries hes seen from the lagoons whenever he sees tink and with that, the rest of neverland. so drawing tink reminds a bit of home - even with that association caspian still doesnt talk to tink often like how he does with most other people
KENN: - lowkey associates tink with caspian since they both have the right hand man role going on - also sees tinks pranks as entertaining, its just whenever meri is there too he becomes more wary about the situation - he does want to respect tink since hes a vice dorm leader, its just whenever he sees him around the dorm he cant help but just be internally “whos this lost sassy child..........” the 9 inch height difference they have doesnt help tink out there
KROK:
BELLUS: - for some reason krok Does seem like someone bellus would have a crush on?? itd be a one sided one and off type of crush more than anything but its still there in the background - dnvs i could see bellus unintentionally scaring off krok more than anything with his flirting when its taken into account the reputation neverland mermaids made for themselves. hes out there trying to braid kroks hair and playfully splash him and convince him to sunbathe with the others because theres snacks and kroks just “oh god this guys gonna try to drown me” - so maybe he does also splash people he doesnt like but its about the Context yknow? - a lil confused when he hears that krok cant sing Or play instruments and offers to teach him. which mostly involves getting caspian to teach him because bellus is only a good teacher when the topics about stars. but he Will be willing to sit through the lessons with him
MERI: - hes a lil intimidated by the fact kroks a crocodile even if krok doesnt get into fights in the first place especially unprovoked. though considering meri tends to provoke Everyone, he might have a good reason to be wary - also isnt fond of kroks ability to eat others magic since he relies on his so much. and with the fun combination of meris temper, his unintentional magic usage when hes upset, the fact the piratcus dorms are on the ocean, and that being on a ship doesnt make a boiling ocean any more comfortable, kroks likely had to eat meris magic before. hes still upset about it - even though their height difference is only 4 inches, meri sometimes squats when they do talk out of spite - despite all of that, he does appreciate that kroks an honest person because lying about emotions is such a hassle. though he also thinks that krok not hiding things too takes the fun out of things
CASPIAN: - tbh he cant comprehend the concept of someone not being good at both playing instruments and singing, mostly because hes used to being around music focused magic back home. like?? are you saying you cant even play a shell horn?? what the fuck???? he assumes krok is just fucking with them even if krok tries to prove he isnt - if krok does accept bellus’s offer to learn how to play, caspian is a pretty patient person so hopefully thatd make krok more comfortable? outside of that, caspian does enjoy playing and talking with the fish and birds around the campus so that could be something they could talk about- - caspian does lie a lot though especially to people he isnt close to so that might bring up some issues between them vdsv
KENN: - “caspian theres a weird fucking cat outside” - kenn when he first sees krok sunbathing - he understands wanting time to relax but he doesnt get sleeping all the time. hes used to everyone always wanting to splash and play back home and only stop to brush their hair and sunbathe so someone willingly choosing to just snooze whenever he can?? why’d you do that........ - even if he doesnt understand it he’ll still try to not wake up krok if hes sleeping outside again. sometimes bellus and meri get past him but he does what he can to keep them from bothering him like he does with most - hes v interested in kroks magic tbh since it seems v useful to have on hand. hes also a lil curious about what his own magic tastes like
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void-official · 5 years
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“Micro-identities/’Mogai/ya’ll literally just be making shit up now” OK. i’m sorry im stuck on this and this is the last i’ll talk about it today bc fuck it. I’m gonna be Real for a second. And it’s going to be awkward, and it’s going to be long, and I’m gonna Lose Follower bc defending micro-labels is Cringe. Whatever. I get it. go ahead and unfollow. The rest of you who actually care. and in the spirit of Pride Month, as someone who feels like they’re almost never allowed to express Pride in who I am? Here we go.
I’m bi. Most of you can probably tell, im not exactly subtle about it.
I’m bi. But
my actual interest in dating or having sex with Anyone has been pretty much negligible for my entire life. I just don’t Care. I never have. Dating and sex seem like a hassle to me and I don’t feel like i’m particularly missing out by not taking part in them. It doesn’t negate my enjoyment of peoples bodies necessarily, nor does it mean I never get crushes on people it just means at the end of the day, my desire to go out there and find people to have sex with and/or date has always been like. really really low. Even if the opportunity was there. And i’ve come to terms with this. I accept this about myself.
There is actually a great deal of overlap between bi and ace identity. all those ‘weird little terms’ like ‘demisexual’ you guys hate so much were originally created for people like me, who feel like they are fundamentally not allowed to call themselves something straightforward like ‘bi’ (or straight/gay/lesbian) without people inevitably screaming at them for Doing It Wrong. So they can describe how they feel in a brief word, instead of having to go through the pains of explaining the complex relationship they have with sexual attraction to every fucking person who asks what their sexuality is.
saying ‘well you should just be able to say bi and leave it at that’ doesn’t actually account for the experiences i have when i Just Say i’m Bi. Even me Just Saying ‘im bi’ i’ve always gotta deal with harassment from people whoget weirdly agressive about -why- i’m not out there fucking or dating the people i claim im attracted to. Am I a prude? a Tease? Just an ‘Acey’ lying for brownie points? Am I Actually Just Traumatized? (They ask in a really aggressive condescending way, like thats actually how you should talk to someone you think is potentially traumatized) But by the standards of this discourse, i’m not allowed to call myself ace either, because then people are going to yell at me that if I experience the tiniest smidgen of sexual attraction or romantic inclination sometimes, or post pictures of sexy video game characters, clearly i cant be that either  I literally can’t win. there is not a thing I can call myself that won’t earn me the ire of LGBT people on tumblr who think they know me and what i should call myself better than I do. And believe me i hate talking about this More than you do. I’d rather just shut up and let people Assume i’m whatever they want me to be sometimes but then mutuals i thought i trusted will inevitably openly make fun of the people who outwardly call themselves demisexual or whatever microlabel is trendy to shit on currently, and usually i bite my tongue cause at the end of the day its Just Words, right? I don’t even use that word, right? Its just words and some words can be interchangeable and not everyone knows what they mean which can feel alienating and unnecessary to people who don’t understand them. I -get- why people ‘cringe’ when they see like 10 terms they don’t understand in someones bio. why do you think i don’t even list anything about my sexuality in mine other than my pronouns?
but I always remember like. just bc that label isnt For Me, it doesn’t mean there might be someone in a similar position to me who doesnt feel comfortable just calling themeslves bi, and prefers the label ‘demisexual biromantic’ who feels like that phrase puts them in a place of peace and contentment, and I wouldn’t argue with them about it. Bc thats their fucking choice. Them being happy with who they are takes priority over my personal opinions of the language they use. same with gender nonconforming people who dont want call themselves trans or nonbinary. Thats fucking Fine. I’m not telling you to have to use the same words as me if you don’t feel like they’re necessary or accurate. I literally don’t give a rats ass what words you use to identify yourself so long as they’re not being used to hurt other people. I just want to be able to have Words, for myself, that describe how I feel, that don’t result in people treating my entire identity like some shitty discourse Meme. And right now I have none. No matter what I call myself, people choose tell me it’s not accurate, or its too complicated.
As for all these shitty fucking posts about people ‘forcing’ young people to take up labels. This. This doesn’t actually happen? (OK I won’t say it doesn’t happen ever on an individual level? but that its not something enforced or encouraged by any group as a practice, and that distinction is necessary, bc saying it happens on a large scale literally implies predatory intentions from a massive group of people instead of members of the group behaving poorly as individuals)
Demisexual people as a whole have literally never told me i had to call myself demi just bc my sense of how i experience attraction might be similar to theirs. Ace people as a whole don’t usually tell people whose lack of sexual attraction is caused by trauma or who havent developed enough to experience sexual attraction that they -have- to call themselves ace. Most Bi or Pan people are fine with the fact that their labels have a lot of overlap and that the line between these things can be murky, they arent actually constantly ready to tear each others throats out over whose terminology is correct. All of this shit is made up by hateful people, or people taking a few examples of poor behavior out of context as an excuse to shit on everyone else, and well meaning people keep falling for it bc it -seems- helpful to be. reactive. I guess? to people you’re constantly told are hurtful to the causes of marginalized people. but im telling you. its not true. literally nobody forces you to call yourself any of these words, they just Exist out there in case you want them, and if you think thats somehow a threat to other peoples identities or to Minors just like, conceptually, for existing, for being Too Specific, im sorry but what other word is there for your reaction than phobic? If an individual derails a conversation about Y to be like “You didn’t include _X_” or tries to force their views on a minor who hasn’t developed a stable sense of identity yet, that is an Individual behaving in an inappropriate manner, not an invitation for you to throw the whole group under the bus. I hate to tell you but if you’re using examples of individuals on tumblr who say stupid shit, everyone on tumblr says stupid shit and butts in conversationally where they’re not welcome. Universally. It’s how tumblr is formatted. Trust me, I have like 4 viral posts going right now.
i’m just tired of it at this point. im not cool with people who stretch to make fun of micro-labels all the time and think they’re being woke allies or w/e to the ‘real LGBTs’.  Even if a lot of the time I personally don’t care for all the labels and wouldn’t choose them for myself, I still feel like If you can’t treat people like individuals and assess their character on a case by case basis, i don’t trust you. I don’t like people who stereotype and LGBT people are not immune to this behavior. Like i don’t say it often but it fucking hurts, and it hurts other people I’m close to who I know have similar complicated identities and struggle coming up w/words to describe themselves that the whole of tumblr LGBT+ will approve of and agree with (clearly an impossibility because there are still people who don’t want bi and trans to even be in there). I might tolerate the constant jokes and not block on principle of knowing not everyone has ingested and thought about this discourse in the same way I have, and im a big tough adult, ultimately i can take it. but inside i know no matter what i call myself, if i were earnest with some of you about how i feel I’d probably be just another ‘special snowflake Delusional mogai creep’ to you, and i can’t deny that fucking hurts to think about. I try not to talk about it openly bc it embarrasses me, bc i dont think my sexuality should have to be battle ground for discourse for people who are supposed to be on my side. But there it is. I think most of this discourse is Trash, and clearly not for the reason most people on here say its trash, not bc theres ‘too many specific words, y’all just be Making Shit Up’ but because so many of you are more caught up in the words than the substance of the arguments or the needs of people whose experiences might have a lot of overlap with yours regardless of what word they’re using to describe it.
Anyway. happy pride to LGBTQA+ people who still dont really feel pride in themselves or their identity. I’d say you’re valid, but you don’t need my validation or anyone elses to understand that you’re a person deserving of respect and compassion. You exist as who you are, and you have to come to terms with who that is, regardless of whether or not you feel like you’re accepted for it. if not pride then, settle for confidence in who you are.
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Happier (Taehyung x You ONESHOT)
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A/N: This is one of the first requests in my inbox and im sorry it took this long to write this. I just got inspired last mightt. sorryy love youuu
A/N : And also, I’m trying a new thing here. if anyone here like my stories and want to give some support, why not buy me a coffee? ☕💜
MASTERLIST
Walking down 29th and Park I saw you in another’s arms You look happier
“Hey, woah slow down Tae. How many glass have you drank?” Jimin snatched his glass away and Taehyung smirked.
“Oh come on Chim. Its a party. A happy occassion! Shouldnt we be happy too? Let me drink!” He growls and tries to get his glass back but Jimin pull his hand away.
“How long are you going to be this way? Are you going to get drunk everytime you remember her? Everytime theres a couple? A wedding? An engagement? Anything thats reeks happiness or reminds you of love?!”
“Yeah. I am! So what?!” Taehyung growls and sneered at his friend, trying to find another glass.
“Get over her already Kim Taehyung!” Jimin yelled. “Get over Y/N!”
“I cant. Not when she looks so happy in another man’s arm. No one should be able to make her happy like that except for me Chim! No one!” Taehyung sighed and slumped down on the chair.
“But you are the one wbo blew it Tae. Its your own damn fault and you got no one to blame,” Jimim rubs his friend’s back. He knows how heart broken Taehyung is but theres realy no one else to blame but himself. “Now man up. Its a party and you wont ruined it just because you cant see anyone else happy and in love!” Jimin growls and shakes Taehyung’s shoulder. “Shes happier now and you should be happy for her, and thats that,”
Saw you walk inside a bar He said something to make you laugh I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours Yeah, you look happier, you do
Its only been a few months after their fateful breakup that Taehyung saw Y/N again. He saw her in her favorite scarf and beanie, fighting the cold weather, her nose and the tip of her ears slightly pink. Taehyung loves that look on her. He always teased her about it when they were together. Without realizing, his legs has taken him into her direction, wanting nothing more than to tap her shoulder and tell her how much he misses her, but Taehyung never get the opportunity when clumsy as she is, she bumped into someone the moment she walked into the bar, spilling the glasses of beer the man is holding. And before he knows it, the two of them are talking and laughing to the wee hours, the man’s friends forgotten and Taehyung sat alone by the corner, just staring at them.
His last memory of hers… her crying face, her eyes thats filled with pain.. now is replaced by the wide smile on her face, laughing at something the man said. If only Taehyund had walked faster. If only Taehyung grabbed her hand first before she enters the bar, if only she wasnt clumsy. So many ifs but everything is too late when all he can see now is Y/N’s big grin that matches the man as they exchanged phone numbers.
If only he could turn back time and treat her right.
Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain’t nobody love you like I do
Y/N and Taehyung has been together for almost 10 years. Well, they will be 10 in a few months and Y/N loves him like no other. Dating an idol was never easy. Especially if the said idol is extremely well known and good looking and she is just a normal girl. Its fate they met and fall in love. Y/N had refused his invitation for drinks multiple times when they first met, but Taehyung was relentless. He keeps showing up and asking her out, and who in the world could resist Kim Taehyung’s charms when he decides to put it to good use on someone. So, after months of persuading and convincing, Y/N finally said yes to a coffee date.
A simple coffee date turns to talking all day long. They laugh, they share their interests, they shared stories, and they even continued their coffee date to a night walk by the Han river which they ended up sitting and talking until the break of dawn. As Taehyung walks Y/N home, he finally finds the courage to ask for her phone number and one simple coffee date turns to lunches, movies, walk in the parks, dinners and on their 10th date, Taehyung finally asks her to officially become his, which Y/N said yes to without hesitation.
Taehyung and Y/N are madly in love, and eventhough they were not allowed to date in public, that didnt seem to stop them as their love for each other burns quite strongly. Y/N believes that no matter what happen, they can take it, just as long as Taehyung continues to love her.
Nine years they have been together. They are in love and happy and Taehyung couldnt have asked for more. Y/N is understanding, beautiful, smart, sweet and everything else he ever wanted in a girl, but Yerin came like a summer breeze in his comfortable winter with Y/N. Hr met when Yerin, a rookie idol, was casted as one of the model for their music video. She is fresh, young, charming and new and for some odd reason, out of the sevem boys, she seemed to be interested in him. Yerin didnt know at first, to the world Taehyung is a single man, and by the time she found out that Taehyung is in a long term serious relationship, she has already fallen too deep in love with him,amd a girlfriend wont stop her efforts in persuing Kim Taehyung.
Relentless and determined to make Taehyung hers, she become his dream girl, his one place to vent about work stress… or when he has fight with Y/N. Tiny unimportant arguments turns into bigger fights led Taehyung to not coming home for days. And Yerin swoop in to take the opportunity and on one drunken night at a bar listening to Taehyung vent about the fights led to sleepless night in her bed, doing things he shouldnt have. One night turns to many, once a week turns to almost everyday and soon enough Taehyung is convinced that he is in love with Yerin too.
So Y/N becomes a punch bag. A person to release his anger on when he got into a fight with Yerin. When he is jealous about Yerin’s intinate closeness with her co star. Smiles and sweet nothings are only whispered in Yerin’s ears and only harsh words of insults and yelling are left for Y/N.
Nine years theu have been together. Ten in a few months, and Y/N knkws something has changed in her relationship Taehyung. Is it her? Did she do something? Did she changed? Is that why Taehyung hates her so much?
Tears dripped down on the cold floor as she kneeled down to pick up the remains of the food that she worked so hard to cook as a surprise for him and scattered pieces of the broken plate that Taehyung threw on the floor earlier before storming out. Just because she asks him where he had been when she calls the dorm and the boys said he were not there. Just because of that one question, Taehyung pushed down everything on the table to the floor in rage before storming off, not coming home for the next three days. Dont even get her started on the harsh words Taehyung said to her every day, cancelling on date nights for no reason at all even when she is already fully dressed and pushing her away when she tries to kiss him. Y/N starts to keep to herself, crying herself to sleep whenever Taehyung stormed off or didnt make it home for the night, keeping quiet when he is around, afraid anything she said will set him off, all the while trying to think of the mistake she did that seems to make Taehyung to stop loving her.
But no matter how she tried, she doesnt know why. Y/N was almost convinced that maybe Taehyung’s love for her has expired. Maybe love does have an expired date after all. After all, they have been together for nearly 10 years, maybe he is bored of her already.
Then one fateful day, when she decides to come home early from work, she finally found out why.
The red stilletos placed neatly in front of the door is definitely not hers. But even with a panic rising in her chest, Y/N tries to reason with herself. Maybe one of the boys comes over to visit Taehyung and brought their girlfriend with them. Yes, that could be it. But the dim lighted house when she entered and the trail of clothes leading to their bedroom are making it hard to believe the reason she just came out with.
The noise she heard as she neared the room is making her thoughts came true and the sight she sees when she pushed open the door slightly confirmed everything.
Y/N covered her mouth with both of her hand as she stood there watching her boyfriend thrusting in and out of a woman she has never seen before. Their loud moans and being lost in pleasure distract them from seeing her there, and with tears running down her face, Y/N turned around and went out from the house, eliminating all traces that she has been there and witness the whole thing.
Maybe its a one time thing. She can forgive a one time thing right? Everyone make mistakes and Taehyung is only human. He loves her. Taehyung still loves her.
Atleast that is what she keeps tellimg herself as she comes home hours later, pretending like nothing happened.
Y/N’s hope and trust that its a one time thing broke into pieces when she starts to caught them multiple times, everywhere. Even worse when she caught Taehyung talking to the girl on the phone, and texting her. Her heart shattered into pieces when she finally heard it. Taehyung’s hush voice, under the blanket.
“I love you Yerin, goodnight angel,”
All this time Y/N pretended not to know that her boyfriend is sleeping with someone else, in her own house too. She pretended not to know, hoping its just a fling, something Taehyung needed to get out from his system. She knows she can forgive him, just as long as he tells her he still loves her.
But telling the other girl he loves her? Y/N knew then that their relationship is over. And she knows just the perfect gift she could give to the man she loves, one last time.
Sat on the corner of the room Everything’s reminding me of you Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you’re happier Aren’t you?
Why didnt he notice her smile that just didnt reached her eyes anymore? Or the way she goes to bed early? Or how she always refuses date night saying shes too exhausted? And her puffy and red eyes like she has been crying all night when she wakes him up for breakfast? Why didnt he see all that?
Taehyung took a swig from the already half empty bottle as he thinks about all the things he should have noticed. Things that showed Y/N already knows about his infidelity. Knows how he already broke her heart.Things he should have done. This is his usual routine whenever they dont have a schedule now, crawled into a corner at a nameless bar where no one would recognize him and drinks up one whole bottle or whatever bottle that he is sober enough to order next, thinking about his memories with Y/N. The good memories, the bad memories, and just memories of her. The way she walks, talks, laugh and smile. The way she always smell, of roses and vanilla, the way she needs to drink a cup of milk before she can fall asleep, the way she loves to dance in the rain. Every single thing reminds Taehyung of Y/N. So he drinks. He keeps on drinking until all theres left are hazy memories of her, and yet, when he wakes up after passing out at some alleyway the next morning, her face is always the first thing that appeared in his mind.
Taehyung shouldnt be this way. He shouldnt even feel this way. He shouldnt even be thinking about Y/N at all. Y/N has found someone new. Someone who can make her laugh better, smile wider, happier even, and she dont need him anymore. But why is it Taehyung needs her more than ever now?
Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain’t nobody need you like I do I know that there’s others that deserve you But my darling, I am still in love with you
“T-Taehyung?” Y/N’s sleepy eyes popped wide open when she realized who is at her door at 4 am in the morning, looking drunk as hell and disheveled.
“Baybeeeee,” Taehyung slurred as he stumbled into the door, trying to kiss her but Y/N avoided him.
“Tae go home. Its 4 am and you are drunk,”
“I-Im not drunkkk. I want to see my babybeee,” he giggles and stumbled into the couch.
“Tae…” Y/N sighed. “Just stay there. Ill make some coffee to help you sober up and then maybe you can go home,” Y/N make sure he is safe and comfortable on the couch before heading to the kitchen to make him the coffee and some snacks. By the time she came back, Taehyung is already fast asleep, drooling on her couch. She stood there in front of him, a steaming cup of coffee in one hand, looking at him sadly.
“I guess… we just have to talk tomorrow then. Sleep well Taehyung,”
/////
“Hey… how are you feeling?” Taehyung feels like he has woken up in heaven when the first thing he sees is Y/N’s face smiling in front of him if its not for the killer headache attacking his head right at that moment.
“Like dying,” he groans out. Y/N giggles at his answer and even then he feels his heart skipped a beat from the sound.
“I know. You are hangover. Drink this. It will help,” she pushes a glass of hot beverage in front of him and some pills. “And I made breakfast too. Eat up before you go okay,” the thought of Y/N making him breakfast sends his heart into a frenzy but then he remembers her next words, ‘before you go’ . Right. They are no longer together. He can no longer lounge and watch TV with her, legs tangling together after breakfast or his favorite, making sweet sweet love to her. Y/N belongs to someone else now. And he needs to go after he eats breakfast.
“Yeah.. thanks,” he takes a sip of the drink and swallow his pills. “I take it I was drunk and showed up at your house at late hours last night?”
“4 am to be exact,” she smiles.
“I’m really sorry Y/N,”
“Its okay Tae. It happens. I understand. Eat up and sober up okay? Your brothers must be worried about you,” she smiles again and start to get up but Taehyung stop her by pulling her hand.
“No. Theres no possible way that you can understand Y/N,” he looks at her straight in the eye. “You wont be able to understand how much I miss you, need you,”
“Taehyung, dont,” Y/N tries to shake her hand loose but to no avail.
“Please Y/N…”
“I-I dont know what you are asking from me. Taehyung we are over. I have met someone new now,” Y/N tries to shake her hand off again. “Tae… I’m happy with him,” Her words were like a blade to Taehyung’s heart. “You know I’m happy with him,”
“Y/N… I know you deserve to be happy. I know theres someone out there that deserves you more than me, that can treat you better, love you better…” he trailed off, hoping for a reaction.
Y/N just kept quiet, finally able to take her hand back after Taehyung let it go.
“But Y/N… give me a chance. You have loved me before. You can love me again. I will treat you the way you really deserve Y/N. Please…,” Taehyung begged, his eyes wide. “Y/N… I still love you. I am still so in love with you. I cant forget you. I cant move on from you,”
“Tae… please dont do this,” Y/N sniffles, tears threatening to fall down. “You know I love you before Tae. You are everything to me,” she cups his face. “But its over. You didnt choose me. So I chooses someone new Tae. And this breakup is the only gift I could give you,”
I could try to smile to hide the truth I know I was happier with you
“Happy anniversary Kim Taehyung. I cant believe its our 10th year together now,” Y/N smiles at him and Taehyung smiles back. God, he misses that smile. So beautiful. A smile that never fails to make all his bad days turns good again. That smile that never leave her face no matter how bad Taehyung treated her all this years. Abandoned her, keeping her a secret, yells at her, making her a punching bag, push her around, hurt her… everything bad he did, she only replied with that smile.
Why am I so stupid? Taehyung thought to himself. He already have the perfect angel bestowed upon him and all he do is take her for granted and hurt her. I’m never going to make her cry out of sadness ever again. Ever. I’m going to make it right this time. Who am I kidding? No one will ever be able to make as happy as she is. Y/N is the only one for me. Forever and always. I’m at my happiest only when I’m with her, and I’ll keep it that way.
Yerin was a mistake. He never loved her. He realized that now. Everything he did with her is out of lust, and blinded feelings. Y/N deserves better. Y/N is the only girl for him and he knows that now. Taehyung just hopes that he is not too late.
“Happy anniversary baby,” Taehyung closes the gap between them and hold her hand. He leans in to give her a kiss but Y/N titlted her head, avoiding it, making Taehyung confused. “Baby? Everything okay?”
“Everything is more than okay. Its great even,” Y/N smiles again, but her smile is sad this time. Taehyung furrowed her brows. Whats happening? He starts to panics when tears starts falling down her cheeks softly, but the smile still etched across her face.
“T-then why are you crying baby?”
“N-nothing. I’m just going to give you your present okay?”
“Okay. But wait!” Taehyung reached on the table and take the gift box that he had wrapped so carefully. “Open mine first. Its not much baby but I promise everything is changing starting now. That present is just the beginning,” he grins, knowing Y/N couldnt possibly understand what he is talking about.
“I…” Y/N looks down, not moving to take the box. “Just… I want to give you my present first okay Taehyung?”
“O-okay then baby. What is it?”
“I’m afraid its not something material,” she smiles. “But I know you will love it,”
“Really? What is it baby?” Taehyung smiles warmly at her. “Whatever it is you are giving me, I will like it anyway. Because it came from you,”
Y/N smiles and didnt say anything, moving closer to him and take his hand, her thumb carresing the back of his hand before the other carressed his cheeks. Her eyes look into his deeply, as if trying to remember his face one last time. Taehyung feels panic rising in his chest but keeps on smiling.
“My gift for you Taehyung, is a bit special. Since its our 10 years anniversary,” she looks down for a moment before lifting her eyes to look back into his, glazed with tears. “I’m giving you your freedom,”
“What do you mean? What freedom?”
“I’m breaking up with you Tae,” Y/N smiles softly, tears are again cascading down her cheeks.
“Breaking up?! What?! Baby no! I-”
“Listen to me!” Y/N raised her hand to stop him from talking. “I’m breaking up with you Tae, so you dont have to. I know about you and Yerin and I also know about how long it has been going on,” Taehyung felt all the blood is gone from his face as he tries to grab Y/N’s hand but she flinched away. “I’m giving you freedom from me Tae. So you dont have to cheat anymore. Go to her,”
“Baby no! I’m sorry!” Taehyung is also crying now. “Baby, I swear. Its a mistake. I-”
“Its not a mistake when it has been going on for more than a year Tae,” Y/N gave him a small smile. “I can see your face Tae. Your exhaustion whenever you are with me. How forced you feel when you have to come back to me when all you want is to be with her, right? Its alright. This is my final gift to you. You dont have to feel bad anymore. And I wont put this against you,” Y/N nods and pulls out something from behind the couch, her luggage that Taehyung recognized so well. He recognized because they bought it together. The stickers on it a reminder of all the places they have been together, creating memories, but now all torned up, leaving the surface if the luggage empty. Is she throwimg all their memories away?
“No. No! I’m not letting you go! Y/N, I’m sorry. I know. I know my mistake is too huge to be forgiven, but give me a chance to redeem myself. Just dont leave me, plesse baby,” he pleaded, begging desperately.
“I cant do that Tae. Every night when you didnt come home I cried in my bed, my head spinning, thinking if you are with her tonight. Thinking if you are doing the things you used to do with me. Are you happy with her? Are you sleeping soundly in her arms? I cant do that anymore Tae. I’m sorry but I cant,”
“I swear Y/N. Its over. Its really is over! Its you. You are the one I want. The one I love!” Taehyung tries to pull her back when she tries to wheel her luggage out the door.
“Tae.. I keep on thinking, wondering. Is there anything else that I could have done, that I should have do to prevented you from doing it… but I cant think of anything. I have given you my everything Tae bur its not enough,” Y/N sobs. “I realized it now. Im not enough. A-and this is the last thing I can give you to proof how much I love you,”
“If you love me, please dont go Y/N. Please dont. I will change. Ill do anything you want, please Y/N. I love you, I love you,” Taehyung is already on his knees, hugging her waist but she peeled off his hands that di wrapped around her.
“You dont love me Tae. If you do you wouldnt have done it. There must be something about her that makes you keep coming back… and I’m giving you the freedom to enjoy that with her. That is my last gift to you,” Y/N pushed his hands away and with tear stricken face turn to him one last time. “Happy anniversary Tae, you know I love you, but my love alone is not enough. You will be happier without me. Goodbye my love,”
And with that, Y/N walks out, never looking back.
Baby, you look happier, you do I knew one day you’d fall for someone new But if he breaks your heart like lovers do Just know that I’ll be waiting here for you
“Its been years Tae… you need to accept the fact that Y/N is happy and she is getting married okay?” Jimin sympathetically looks at his friend. “You want her to be happy dont you? And look at her Tae,” Jimin points to the front, where the main couple of the engagement party stood. “She looks so happy. Jungkook makes her happy, and you know that. He treats her right. She has been happy ever since she met Kookie at the bar,”
Taehyung look at the newly engaged couple in front of the room, Jungkook pulling Y/N, his now fiancee, in for a kiss as she blushes shyly and gave a weak smile towards Jimin.
“She doesnt just look happy Chim,” Taehyung said, making Jimin turned to him,curious as to what his friend is going to say. “She looks extremely happier. Happier than she ever did with me… and thats a good thing right?” Taehyung finishes off his glass in one gulp. “But I’ll be here Chim. I’ll be waiting for her here, forever. And if I ever be given the chance again, then I’ll make her even happier than that,”
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MTVS Epic Rewatch #208
Don’t forget to vote on the season 7 polls!!
BTVS 7x21 End of Days
Stray thoughts
1) So this is how Faith is doing as the leader…
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…and this is how Buffy is doing as the outcast Slayer…
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I wonder who’s the boss… (maybe we should ask Abed.)
2) I don’t like seeing Faith hurt, but I do get a very sick (I admit it) satisfaction at seeing all these girls hurt and scared because they kicked Buffy out and they screwed everything up in the worst possible fashion. I know that by having Faith lead them into yet another trap the writers were trying to prove the point that what happened at the vineyard could’ve happened to anyone and that it wasn’t Buffy’s fault (Buffy will make this same point herself later on the episode.) Both Buffy and Faith were trying to do what they thought was best, yet it backfired. Shit happens yada yada yada. Yet I just can’t help but feel personally vindicated when I see Faith and the potentials fuck everything up so spectacularly.
On the other hand, not only was Buffy able to pull herself together after the group (and her friends! Her family!) kicked her out and made her feel like the worst piece of shit in the whole world, but she also managed to A) get the scythe and B) make Caleb nervous, which was a first. So yeah. #teamBuffy
3) So why exactly were the Scoobies looking for Buffy? I mean, didn’t they kick her out literally the day before? And now they’re suddenly worried about her or something? The only person who followed Buffy after they all kicked her out was Faith. Faith! Do you see how wrong/ironic that this? Do you see how painful it must’ve been for Buffy not to have NONE OF HER FRIENDS – not Xander, not Willow, not Giles, not even her own sister! – go after her to see if she was okay? To ask her where she was going or what she was going to do? The only person who showed any concern whatsoever about her was probably the only person she would’ve labeled a potential enemy. 
Damn you all, I’m still pissed off. I hate this. I hate having to feel this way about the characters I’ve loved for seven seasons in the FINAL EPISODES OF THE SHOW. It just feels so wrong, but I can’t help but HATE THEM. What the hell was this fucking writing choice? I hate it. I hate everything about it.
4) If I have to say something in favor of Kennedy is this, when shit hit the fan, she was the only one who wasn’t screaming like a moron and who was actually trying to fight off the Turok-Han. So yeah. The girl got spunk.
5) But she’s nothing compared to our designated BAMF.
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6) No one is kicking Buffy out now, HUH? HUH???????????????????
7)
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Yes. Yes, you did.
8) And this is exactly why they shouldn’t have kicked her out or “rebelled” against her or whatever the fuck they thought they were doing.
BUFFY You guys, it was a trap. It's not her fault. That could've just as easily happened to me.
9) While I do appreciate the pun and the side glances between Buffy and Willow…
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I still feel it’s very wrong they’re all just talking and Giles is playing around with the scythe as if the last time they’d been together they HADN’T HUMILIATED BUFFY AND KICKED HER OUT OF HER OWN FUCKING HOUSE???? LIKE SERIOUSLY??? In Willow’s own words, you're not gonna jokey-rhyme your way out of this one.
Like, I know the apocalypse takes precedence, but maybe say “sorry for kicking you out” and “thank you for saving us AGAIN”.
10)
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11) Again, I get the same feeling with Xander. Like, did they all suddenly forget they had left Buffy alone and kicked her out of her own house? Xander is all like, “I don’t need you to protect me just because I lost an eye” but literally a day before he was telling her it was HER fault he’d lost it, and using that as a justification not only for removing her from her role as a leader but also TO KICK HER OUT OF HER OWN HOUSE. And now it’s just like nothing ever happened? How is that possible? How is literally no one apologizing to Buffy? And not only is he not apologizing, but Buffy is telling him that he’s her heart and the reason she’s still alive, which okay, it’s all kind of true, but he’s also the guy WHO BLAMED YOU FOR LOSING HIS EYE AND WHO KICKED YOU OUT OF YOUR OWN HOUSE THE DAY BEFORE?!
I didn’t know that End of Days could make me as angry as Empty Places but here I am.
We’re 14 minutes into the episode and still, no one has apologized to Buffy and they’re all pretending like they didn’t turn their backs on her and it’s pissing me off. I hate feeling this way in the episode prior to the series finale. This is not how a fan should be feeling right before the show ends!
12) Not only do I know what a glottal stop is but I’ve also learned how to pronounce it. Or at least I was able to pronounce it a few years ago. 
13) And hence the fate of Miss Kitty Fantastico was finally revealed…
DAWN Xander, my crossbow is not out here. I told you, I don't leave crossbows around all willy-nilly. Not since that time with Miss Kitty Fantastico.
If you must hate Dawn, it should only be for this.
14) Did anyone really believe Xander would hurt Dawn?
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15) What was the point of this scene…?
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…I mean, other than to give us Nathan Fillion’s orgasm face?
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16) And this is the difference between Buffy and the rest… just remember how everyone reacted and treated Buffy after the vineyard, and see how she acts here after literally the same happened with Faith in charge…
FAITH What do you want me to say? I blew it.
BUFFY You didn't blow it.
FAITH Tell that to—
BUFFY People die. You lead them into battle, they're gonna die. It doesn't matter how ready you are or how smart you are. War is about death. Needless, stupid death.
She’s understanding and reassuring, she’s not pointing fingers or kicking people out. And that’s why she’s a hero and the rest are a fucking bunch of morons. I’m sorry, I’m still so angry about Empty Places and this episode is not making things any better.
17) But I do love when my two slayers see eye to eye…
FAITH So, here's the laugh riot. My whole life I've been a loner.(…) No ties, no buddies, no relationships that lasted longer than... (…) Me, by myself all the time. I'm looking at you, everything you have, and, I don't know, jealous. Then there I am. Everybody's looking to me, trusting me to lead them, and I've never felt so alone in my entire life.
BUFFY Yeah.
FAITH And that's you every day, isn't it?
BUFFY I love my friends. I'm very grateful for them. But that's the price. Being a slayer.
FAITH There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together.
BUFFY Also, you went evil and were killing people.
FAITH Good point. Also a factor.
BUFFY But you're right. I mean, I... I guess everyone's alone. But being a slayer? There's a burden we can't share.
FAITH And no one else can feel it. Thank God we're hot chicks with superpowers.
BUFFY Takes the edge off.
FAITH Comforting.
BUFFY Mm-hmm.
This is something that had been a long time coming. Since day one, Faith had envied Buffy. Just like Buffy saw in Faith her road not taken, Faith saw in Buffy the life she could’ve had but didn’t. She envied it and she wanted it for herself. She literally tried to steal it away several times. So if she couldn’t have it, if it wasn’t meant for her, then she could take Buffy away from it, drive her to the dark side, where she lived. Every attempt was futile, even stealing Buffy’s body and literally taking her life. It only made her feel more undeserving, more inadequate, more unworthy. But every time she’d taken a shot at being the leader, it was by playing tricks, by taking what it wasn’t rightfully hers. This time around, she had somehow earned it. There was no foul play on her part. Others made the decision for her and gave her the role she’d craved for so long. And she finally understood that it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Yes, Buffy did have friends and people who looked up to her and cared about her. But when push comes to shove, when tough calls must be made, the Slayer is always alone. The weight of the world is only on her shoulders, and she can’t share the burden. It took four seasons but Faith finally got it. And she could finally let go of all the envy and jealousy.
18) I just love the fact that for the first time Buffy is the one who opens up to Spike. She’s always been the one who pretends there’s nothing between them and who skirts around her feelings and dismisses his. But not this time. And for me, it was enough that she acknowledged that it meant something, even if they – and we – don’t know exactly what that was.
BUFFY You're a dope.
SPIKE I'm a what?
BUFFY You're a dope. And a bonehead. And you're shirty.
SPIKE Have you gone completely carrot-top?
BUFFY Do you see this? This may actually help me fight my war. This might be the key to everything. And the reason I'm holding it is because of you. Because of the strength that you gave me last night. Look, I am tired of defensiveness and weird, mixed signals. You know, I have Faith for that. Let's just get to the truth here, OK? I don't know how you felt about last night, but I will not—
SPIKE Terrified.
BUFFY Of what?
SPIKE Last night was... God, I'm such a jerk. I can't do this.
BUFFY Spike...
SPIKE It was the best night of my life. If you poke fun at me, you bloody well better use that, 'cause I couldn't bear it. It may not mean that much to you, but—
BUFFY I just told you it did.
SPIKE Yeah... I hear you say it, but... I've lived for soddin' ever, Buffy. I've done everything. Done things with you I can't spell, but... I've never... been close... to anyone. Least of all, you. 'Til last night. All I did was... hold you, watch you sleep. And it was the best night of my life. So, yeah... I'm... terrified.
BUFFY You don't have to be.
SPIKE Were you there with me?
BUFFY I was.
SPIKE What does that mean?
BUFFY I don't know. Does it have to mean something?
SPIKE No. Not right now.
19) Update: 29 minutes in and I’m still waiting for someone to apologize to Buffy.
20) Am I the only who thinks this speech is okay but like, the writers were trying too hard to give Anya her “Anya Speech Moment” of the season and it kind of feels a bit, I don’t know, forced?
ANYA Well...I guess I was...kinda new to bein' around humans before. But now I've... seen a lot more, gotten to know people... seen what they're capable of, and... I guess I just realized...how amazingly screwed-up they all are. I mean really, really screwed-up in a monumental fashion. And they have no purpose that unites them, so they just drift around, blundering through life until they die...which they...they know is coming, yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens to them. They're incapable of thinking about what they want beyond the moment. They kill each other, which is clearly insane. And yet, here's the thing. When it's something that really matters, they fight. I mean, they're lame morons for fighting, but they do. They never... never quit. So I guess I will keep fighting, too.
21) #priorities
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22) And in another episode of Plots Totally Pulled Out of the Writer’s Ass… (a.k.a. Joss Whedon Tries to Rectify the Fact that He Wrote a Bunch of Men Violating the Original Slayer by Putting a Demon Inside of Her and Thus Utterly Destroyed the Whole Slayerness Equals Feminism Theme)
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WOMAN We forged it in secrecy and kept it hidden from the Shadow Men, who...
BUFFY Yeah. Met those guys. Didn't really care too much for 'em.
WOMAN Ahh, yes. Then you know. And they became the watchers. And the watchers watched the slayers. But we were watching them.
BUFFY Oh! So you're like... what are you?
WOMAN Guardians. Women who want to help and protect you. We forged this centuries ago, halfway around the world.
Okay, I get it, I get what you were trying to do, but it was so fucking obvious, it was so transparent. Like, I know most of the so-called metaphors in this show were not so subtle (think the fucking monster-penis in Doublemeat Palace, for instance.) But the feminist struggle in the slayer vs the council struggle was always something that I personally enjoyed. And this is how Joss’s brand of “feminism” began to crumble down, in my opinion. This is what a white dude who is a self-proclaimed feminist believes to be a Good feminist storyline, but it’s so clichéd and self-evident it's almost cringe-worthy. Like, you get a bunch of Evil Men quite literally raping a Poor Woman, who is faked Empowered (her powers were lent to her by the Evil Men and the source of her powers is Evil, Demonic in nature because  duh! she is a Woman)  so that they can Manipulate her and Use her for the benefit of the Patriarchy. But oh wait! This is a Feminist Show! So in spite of what the Evil Men who were supposedly the Powerful ones did, there always were These Great and Powerful Women behind it all, the True Guardians of the Slayer, This has been a Matriarchy all along, you see?! PLOT TWIST!
Yawn.
The worst part? I can imagine all the writers patting themselves on the back for writing such a groundbreaking and Feminist storyline and for sticking it to the Men.
23) And btw, just to show you how big a Feminist Show this is, we get this…
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I guess since this is a Feminist Show and Angel is the hero here and Buffy the damsel in distress, that makes Angel a woman, right?
But hey, at least he (or she?) literally let Buffy deliver the lethal blow…
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24) And yes, this totally makes sense!
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because Angel has not claimed to be in love with Cordelia and Buffy has not just had her more honest heart-toheart with Spike. Let’s just disregard whatever arcs have been developed in both shows in order to deliver a Ship Moment for the Bangel fans, right? Who cares about character development, right? Because I’m positive this is what former lovers do after not seeing each other in over a year, being currently emotionally unavailable, and facing the greatest evil of all. Suck face.
25) Update: minute 42 and I’m STILL waiting for someone to apologize to Buffy.
26) Sorry for the bitter rant! 
27)  If you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!
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atheostic · 5 years
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Sh!t Abrahamic (Jewish, Christian, & Muslim) Theists Say
“Atheists believe the universe came from nothing via the Big Bang.”
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1. The question is flawed, because “who created the universe” implies a sentient agent is required for a universe to be created. 
It’s not.
2. If the claim that “something can’t come from nothing” is correct then either your deity came from something or your deity is a nothing.
And if your deity came from something, what was it and where did it come from, and so on and so on?
3. We can’t say something can’t come from nothing just because we’ve never seen something coming from nothing. 
To do so would be what’s called a Black Swan fallacy. 
The fallacy’s name comes from the example that the fallacy being committed would be akin to someone saying “black swans don’t exist because I’ve never seen a black swan”; it could very well be that you’ve never seen a black swan because they don’t exist, but you can’t be sure.
You would be correct to refrain from believing in black swans until such a time as proof of their existence was provided, but you couldn’t claim to know they don’t exist.
4. Since we have never had a nothing to examine we can’t make any claims about the nature of nothing, as we don’t have enough data to make any assumptions.
We can say that it’s highly unlikely that something in our universe as we know it can come from nothing, but NOT that we’re certain it’s not possible. 
5. We cannot use the universe as we know it to make assumptions about what reality was like before the Big Bang, because the universe as we know it might very well not have existed until the first moment of the Big Bang.
As such, the rules that control our universe might be utterly irrelevant to cosmology. 
We have no reason to believe anything started the Big Bang (nor do we have reason to believe something didn’t either) because we don’t have enough data to make any claims whatsoever about anything beyond the moment where the Big Bang occurred.
It may be that one day science gets advanced enough that we can solve the mystery of “what (if anything) existed before the Big Bang?”, but as it currently stands, anyone claiming to know for certain that they know what conditions were like before the Big Bang is either lying through their teeth or deluded.
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6. Even if we were to assume that the universe didn’t always exist, it doesn’t mean the Big Bang had to have a cause to happen.
I know it seems counter-intuitive because in the universe as we know it there is no example of a consequence without a cause. But before the Big Bang our universe as we know it didn’t exist, and we have no way of knowing if reality behaved under the same parameters or some other way entirely. 
Hell, some scientists even theorize that before the Big Bang there were way more dimensions than just the four we have now!
In fact, many scientists hypothesize that the universe always existed:
“The existence of gravitational waves is strong evidence that “our” universe may not only exist alongside an infinite number of parallel worlds, but may itself be infinite in extent, containing endless copies of our galaxy – and indeed our world and you and me – located countless trillions of light years apart.”
7. Scientists not knowing what happened before the Big Bang doesn’t mean “God did it” is correct.
Scientists not knowing something doesn’t mean you get to make up whatever you want, treat it as fact, and claim that people should believe you because you said so.
That’s not how reality works.
8. How the universe came to be isn’t a binary either/or option.
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It’s not “either the Big Bang is true or 1+ god(s) did it”.
9. We know that the Big Bang happened because there’s evidence to back it up. 
If there weren’t the Big Bang would be a hypothesis, not a theory.
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Some of the most compelling evidence includes:
The Hubble Expansion - “The vast majority of galaxies are moving away from us, and the velocity of their recession is proportional to their distance from us,”with the ones further away moving faster, and the ones closest moving slower.
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The Doppler Effect & Redshift - “The further from us a star is the more its light is red-shifted. This tells us that distant galaxies are moving away from us, and that the further a galaxy is the faster it is moving away.”
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^ Spectrum of Helium in our sun
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^ Spectrum of Helium of a distant star
Cosmic Microwave Background (CMB) radiation - “The “blackbody” nature of the CMB is exactly that expected from an initial (Big Bang) “fireball” of radiation.”
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Predicted and observed abundances of light elements - Element abundance predictions based on the creation of light atomic nuclei (eg. Deuterium, which stars can only destroy, not create) during the first few minutes of the Big Bang agree extremely well with those observed. Helium, for example, should be about 25% of the total mass of the Universe according to the Big Bang model.
Guess what the content of helium we have observed in stars and gas clouds is.
Quasars - “We see a lot of quasars in the distant cosmos, which means these objects were very common billions of years ago. But there are hardly any quasars in our local, up-to-date neighborhood. And they’re common enough in the far-away (that is, young) universe that we should see a lot more in our vicinity. The simple conclusion: The universe was different in its past than it is today.”
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Olbers’ paradox - “The sky should be ablaze with the combined light of a multitude of stars. That means either the universe is not infinite in size or it’s not infinite in time. Or maybe it’s neither.”
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10. The Big Bang has nothing to do with atheism. 
a) People believe in the Big Bang because there is testable evidence to back it up. 
Many (if not most) theists believe in the Big Bang because it is able to correctly predict things about how our universe works and the more we learn the more evidence we have to corroborate its accuracy.
If one day we find some evidence that contradicts the Big Bang theory it will cease to be a theory and a new theory will replace it. 
Until such a time, however, we have no reason to think the current theory is inaccurate.
b) The Big Bang has nothing to do with why I’m an atheist. 
Neither does evolution or any other bit of science you don’t like because it contradicts how you want reality and the universe to work.
I’m an atheist because I am unable to believe a claim about the existence of a deity without testable evidence to back up that claim. 
As the saying goes, “extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence”. 
If a claim is not testable, it is not reliable, because it cannot be corroborated via the scientific method, which is the single most reliable method we have to understand our reality (if you can think of a better way, I’d love to hear it; you’d be legit eligible to win a Nobel for innovation).
11. Proving the Big Bang wrong would not be proof of the existence of 1+ deities.
It would be proof that we were wrong about the Big Bang and that we needed to look at the evidence we have and try to come up with a new theory of why the evidence we have is the way it is.
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tumblunni · 5 years
Text
Rambling about my new watchholder oc Mallory
* absolute gremlin child. Eats dirt. Probably more of a monster than most of the yokai.
* at the same time tho, she is like super sunshine friend! She looks kinda gloomy ominous but her personality is actually super bubbly and her biggest priority in life is making new yokai friends and loving them forever. Like, creepy in a wholesome way? She does indeed love horror movies and creepy crawlies and could probably fistfight god, but that doesnt mean she's evil!
* kinda always bored but also easily exciteable? One of her biggest recurring jokes is just ignoring the normal or sane solution to a thing and doing something more fun even if its more difficult or dangerous. Actually i guess its more "fearless" than bored? Or bored of fear, lol. Fearless and doesnt really give a shit about any rules. But again not in a mean way, she doesnt break rules because she wants to piss people off, just like "im not gonna believe this if nobody bothers explaining why its supposed to be so important". But not exactly phrased like that cos that would be rude, lol. So uhh more like just relateable autism feel of not grasping social cues but mixed with a personality thats quite outgoing and uncaring of being judged poorly for not being normal, as opposed to me who's always worried about what people think.
* oh wait thats the word for it!! Free-spirited! Trickster! Like a peter pan type of trickster tho, more than loki. Like just "i am naturally outside the obligations of normalcy" rather than "i am intentionally trying to prank/illusion/manipulate people cos its funny". Or uhh i guess "manic pixie dream girl" but without all the stupid shit that trope has got associated with.
* pretty much just wish fullfillment of "what if i was confident enough to not care what people think and just act like myself no matter what"
* anyway in summary she likes to climb trees n stuff and her reaction to yokai being real is "yay" and her reaction to seeing an undefeatable giant kaiju is to run at it and try and suplex it with her bare hands. She's kind of a badass! Tho lol also her biggest character flaw is her badassness, cos she can be reckless due to the lack of fear. But then also sometimes when everyone is hopeless she really does manage to save the day no matter what, and help inspire everyone else to be brave too!
* though i'm thinking of maybe a character arc where she starts off seeing this as just a fun adventure with no stakes, and it doesnt matter if you take risks cos nobody's gonna get hurt anyway. Like a "this isnt really real, its just my hero's story" sort of thing? When things start getting more dark and she faces things she cant just defeat with simple optimism, it kinda stops being fun anymore. And she has to realize that even if she doesnt care about her own self preservation there's consequences that could happen to her friends and family. And maybe she's already made mistakes that she can't take back, and now she's neck deep in a conflict thats a lot bigger and more insurmountable than she thought. You can't just fistfight something like the abstract concept of hatred for humanity which will continue to be perpetuated as long as the idea keeps taking root. And maybe even yokai you befriended could start to believe it too, after all you've kinda been treating them as just fun toys and sidekicks on a story that's all about you, and dragging them into danger with your recklessness. Even though you're fighting the villains, are you really doing it because you actually care about saving the day? Do you even know what you're saving it from...?
* and similar to her unflappable victoryness being shaken, i think her fearlessness and confidence could also be deeper than they look on the surface. I feel like maybe as the story goes on it could be revealed that its less being fearless and more just not caring about her own safety. You start to see her get more actual consequences from her fights, and it starts to become sort of concerning that she keeps brushing it off as no big deal. Laughing it off. Wondering why her friends are even sad that she got hurt. And maybe she isnt really happy all the time and 100% secure in who she is, she just tries to hide any signs of doubt because she feels like nobody would care. And that she has to always be the funny class clown or else nobody would want to be her friend. And like.. She doesnt even really believe that she's great, believe that she's fine as she is. She's more aware of her weirdness than she lets on. She's constantly, paralyzingly aware that everyone thinks she's a freak. She did use to try and change herself to fit in, but she kept failing at it and it never helped her get any friends. Or when she did think she made a friend they'd turn on her whenever she slipped up and showed a crack in her mask of the perfect normal person. The perfect normal person they wanted her to be.. Constantly changing into WHATEVER anyone wanted her to be. The only reason she doesnt do that anymore is that she lost all hope in it working, not that she actually gained confidence in her true self. And even when she's npt conciously doing it she's still subconciously trying to be what people want her to be. She has to always be funny, always be fearless, she has to cling to the few parts of her weirdness that people dont seem to hate. And now she has to be the hero. She has to carry all the dreams of everyone she's met along the way, while never letting them know when she's scared she wont be able to help make them come true. She's always just laughing it off and never being fully open with any of her friends, because she's scared they'll hate her. ..
* so uhh.. Yeah. Personal experience of that. Personal experience of trying to fit into negative stereotypes of autism because thats what everyone saw me as no matter how hard i tried, and also it was the only form of autism theyd treat positively, somehow. Like just be the "funny one" and dont challenge any of their assumptions ans they'll leave you in relative peace. Put up with some degree of degredation to avoid the even worse version. And i was doing all of this at a very youbg age before i even knew i was autistic or what autism was, but i could still feel how people treated me differently and how i had to friggin agree with it or else they'd never let it go. Gahhh.. It was all way too complicated and dark for a kid to understand!
* so yeah anyway her story arc is going from being a badass funny to being a funny badass? Like she just becomes more genuinely tough and cool when she's not always winning and the stakes dont seem so low and comical AND most importantly you know her real feelings and see that she will indeed continue fighting even when she's scared. And she doesnt try so hard to be cool all the time so it just lets her be more genuine. And form actual relationships with everyone with genuine feelings. So its less "she is badass because its funny" and more "she is a badass because she's a badass". But she's still funny, just in more varied ways than simply "the only reason she won this fight so fast is because jokes". Fighting legit threatening enemies in fights that arent over in five seconds. So they can contain... SEVERAL joke..!!! And also some actual fighting for once!!
* hhh i dunno i am very tired im probably not explaining this well
* oh and i think possibly she has a bit of a complex of feeling she's nothing without her yokai watch? Like the yokai are her first friends who never abandoned her. And she always felt like she was useless and it was her own fault that she didnt have any friends. She first started off being all irreverent and goofy when she got the yokai watch cos she was well into her "i dont care anymore" phase of depression and felt certain these new friends would all realise she was awful eventually and leave, so like.. Why get attatched? Just have fun while it lasts. So maybe actually she shows early signs of her depression by trying harder to be normal whenever anyone shows her friendship. Maybe something where she starts straigjtening her hair or dressing more feminine and then you just see this look on her face like her heart has shattered when someone agrees that she does look better now. (Maybe a new yokai she recently caught who was like super cool and she wanted to impress them?) And she gets compulsively obsessed with it, exaggerating it to a ridiculous degree and starting to change other parts of her appearance and everyone goes from giggling about this weird circumstance to getting REALLY DAMN CONCERNED! And in the end something something the yokai who was an asshole abput her needing to be more feminine slips up and shows his true assy colours to the other yokai and theyre like IT WAS YOU and he's like "what? You should be thanking me for fixing your shitty trainer!" And Then Everyone Beats Him Up Forever. Etc etc moral that real friends accept you for who you are and anyone who tells you you have to change to impress them is not worth impressing. Also maybe some aspect where the yokai dude thinks that mallory is trying to impress him cos she has a crush on him, and thats the moment that manages to snap her out of her depressive funk. Self hate overrided by sheer EWW NO IM A LESBIAN, DUDE i just liked ur cool hat, geez. (Wait was that entire plot idea just an excuse to find a way to foreshadow her getting a crush on hailey in yw3...?)
* and maybe i dunno some sort of dramatic episode where she loses the ability to use the yokai watch and is faced with her self worth issues all at once and its super fuckin sad and we all know eventually she will get to see all her yokai friends again cos the plots not gonna end before finishing all the games but still MEGA SUPER SAD MOMENT ANYWAY (also tearful reunions!)
* also i just heard theres a yokai called furgus thats a big adorable hairball that gives people big hair. So maybe that could be one of the comically easy victory episodes? He uses his power on mallory but her hair is already too fluffy to be floofed! Maybe it backfires and turns his own hair into a boring bowl cut, lol? And then maybe a sequel where he returns for revenge a million episodes later but it just so happens to be during the maddiman boss fight and he accidentally cures his balding. "Noooo dont thank me nooooo" *is forced against his will to become a popular advertosing mascot for hair cream* *like straight up just gets sucked into the nearest bottle and sealed like a genie* *cursed forever to fame and fortune and a million dollar salary*
* lol i dont think im as funny as the actual yokai watch writers but i have a few ideas at least. This will be fun to draw!
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sulietsexual · 6 years
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Its been a while since I asked you meta related things so I just had a random idea - top 5 characters which you just dont understand, top 5 ch which are well writen but you cant connect or like, top 5 ch storylines you would like to alter, top 5 traits of your disliked chracters that you like, top 5 traits of your loved characters you dislike, top 5 ways your disliked characters contributed to the main storyline that youre fine with. For males and females separately so theres room for thought :)
Top 5 Characters I Don’t Understand
Male
Wesley Wyndam Pryce - okay, so this is only from mid-Season 3 onward, but I cannot fathom Wesley’s actions in stealing Connor, consulting with Holtz and doubting/not believing in Angel to the point where he didn’t realise that Angel would do everything in his power to protect Connor. Then his self-righteous attitude post-kidnap is appalling, the fact that he acts like the wronged party and refuses to acknowledge his own wrongdoings and never apologises for his actions all drive me crazy. Just can’t.
Luke Danes, I mean, buddy, pull it together. You say you want Lorelai, yet never make a move and then bitch about her boyfriends and act like a jerk. You say you’re “all in” and then you run at the first sign of trouble and make Lorelai feel like she did something wrong. You tell Lorelai you want her to be honest with you and then you hide your daughter from her for two freakin’ months. You say you want to spend your life with her, yet you shut her out of it. Like, wtf??
Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III, omg, why is he such an abusive asshole? Why does he treat every woman he’s with like crap? Why does he treat Mellie as if she’s insignificant and stupid? Why does he act entitled to everyone’s time and affections? Why does he continually try to give up the most powerful position in America? Why doesn’t he have any ambition? Why does he resent anyone who does??? I don’t understand.
John Winchester. Dude’s always going on about how he “did the best that he could”. Nope. The best he could would have been to raise his boys in a stable freakin’ environment, not push adult responsibility onto his eldest, not treat his youngest like an outcast/freak for wanting a better life and actually being an adult and being there for his boys. How does he justify the way he treated his sons? Don’t get it.
Finn Collins. Dude, you cheat on your girlfriend, neglect to tell the girl you’re cheating with that you even have a girlfriend, don’t tell your girlfriend you cheated on her and expect both girls to still want you? Plus the whole massacring eighteen unarmed people and then ignoring their bodies as the girl you want walks in horrified and look at her as if she’ll love you for your actions? Yikes.
Female
Lorelai Gilmore, she constantly puts her mother down for her privilege and sense of entitlement, yet displays the exact same behaviour. She rejected Chris, then bitches about how he “wasn’t ready”. She thinks all her behaviour is cute but it’s actually really annoying. And she honestly seems to believe that her parents were the absolute worst parents in the world, when it reality they were really good to her and always try to be a part of her life. Pull it together, woman!
Octavia Blake, why does she blame her brother for everything? Why is her solution always violence? Why does she proudly cannibalize people? Why does she think she knows more about a culture she’s been a part of for two seconds than the people actually raised in said culture? 
Nancy Wheeler. Why does she want Jonathan so badly? Why does she screw over Steve? What makes her neglect her brother and run off with the guy she just banged? Why doesn’t she think through the consequences of her actions? Why did she offer her brother zero comfort when his friend “died”? What made her think it was okay to chase down Jonathan while he was picking out a coffin for his brother’s funeral to talk about Barb? Girl drives me bonkers.
Joey Potter, so many of her actions make no sense. She pines after Dawson for years and then breaks up with him for literally no reason. She blames him for telling her the truth about her father, after repeatedly saying they need to be honest with one another. She can’t decide between two guys for years. She constantly rejects Pacey yet picks him in the end. She believes she’s entitled to be a bitch to people just because she’s had a tough life.
Aria Montgomery, if your creepy-ass relationship really so important to you that you would lie to your friends and family, threaten your parents, risk your partner going to jail, threaten to walk out on your family and basically cease to exist outside of your boyfriend? Yikes.
Going to put the rest under the cut, otherwise we’re going to end up with a post a mile long.
Top 5 Characters Who Are Well-writen But I Can’t Connect To or Like
Male
John Locke, a great-written character who drives me up the wall with his over-zealousness and delusions of grandeur.
Spike, he really does have a great character arc and characterisation but his over-exposure and the fandom’s adulation of him drive me crazy, plus I hate how his narrative overtakes Buffy’s.
Jack Shepherd, such a great arc, such an amazing journey but his douchey behaviour and the way he treats certain characters means I just can’t like him.
Perry Cox, I find him amusing and do occasionally like him but his lack of self-awareness and overall mean attitude and sexism bugs me.
Dean Winchester, so well-written with a great arc but also abusive, violent, self-righteous, sexist and overall annoying as hell.
Female
Regina Mills, her redemption arc is sloppy but her characterisation was always strong and she’s a fantastic villain, which is why I love to hate her.
Robin Scherbatsky, very well-written with a great arc (until the finale) but I just cannot like her, probably due to her arrogance and meanness.
Rachel Green, now, I don’t hate Rachel or anything but she’s one of my least-favourite Friends characters and I’ve never been able to connect with her.
Katniss Everdeen, a great-written character whose personality I find very hard to reconcile and who I just cannot connect with.
Kate Austin, great arc, great characterisation, full of traits I can’t stand and makes choices that make me want to throttle her.
Top 5 Characters Storylines I Would Like To Alter
Male
Neal Cassidy, he was done so dirty by that damn show!
August Booth, another one screwed over by OUAT and there was so much left to explore with his character!
Dean Forrester, I really hate how much Gilmore Girls dumbled down and assassinated his character.
Boyd Langton, Dollhouse’s weird out-of-nowhere reveal that he was the bad guy completely changed his character and he didn’t deserve that.
Jake Ballard, he deserves better than being second-choice for Olivia Pope.
Female
Laurel Lance, who deserved the fucking world and got nothing, I would change so much about her storyline and eventual fate.
Mellie Grant who, like Laurel, deserved so much and got shit.
Emma Swan, who was character assassinated in order to box her into a toxic ship which decimated everything about her.
Juliet Burke, who should have lived and had a happy life and finally made it off that damn Island!
Effy Stonem, who deserved better than to be sandwiched between two guys who treated her like a prize and blamed her for their rivalry, not to mention the shitty “friends” who used her as their scapegoat.
Top 5 Traits Of My Disliked Characters That I Like (I’m not going to pick my absolute most disliked characters for this, but just 5 characters I dislike in general. Also, probably can’t come up with five for each, so I’ll go with as many as I can list).
Male
Going with Wesley again - love his intelligence, his surprising confidence when he allows himself to show it, his thirst for knowledge and his goofiness.
Spike - I like his bravado, his confidence and his loyalty.
Dean Winchester - similarly to Spike, his bravado, his loyalty and his confidence, as well as his humour and love of fun.
Luke Danes - I like that he’s good at the big gestures, I like his snark and his homebody nature.
Jess Mariano - I like intelligence, his snark and the fact that he sorts himself out later on in life.
Female
Anya Jenkins - love her work ethic and the fact that she handles money well and knows how to budget, save and invest.
Betty Cooper - she’s got gumption, I’ll give her that and she is intelligent and hardworking.
Felicity Smoak - like Betty, she’s intelligent and has gumption.
Cassie from the Animorphs series - she’s compassionate and does try to understand people, which I like.She also has a lot of empathy.
Alison DiLaurentis - she is ruthless and strategic and highly intelligent, all of which I admire, even if her actions are truly sociopathic.
Top 5 Traits Of My Loved Characters I Dislike (again, this may not reach five but I’ll do my best)
Male
Angel - his tendency to make decisions for others, his jealousy, the way he can completely cut off those he cares about.
James Ford - the way he lets his self-hatred affect others, his self-centredness, the way he can be deliberately cruel at times.
August Booth - he lies way too much, his self-hatred, his selfishness.
Neal Cassidy ………….. nope, I love Neal too much, can’t think of any traits I dislike.
Charles Gunn - the way he diminishes himself for others.
Female
Prue Halliwell - that damn pride, her self-righteousness, her judgmental streak.
Juliet Burke ……………. nope, as with Neal, love her way too much to dislike anything about her.
Lana Lang - her Mary Sue traits (this lies more on the writing of her character than her), her tendency to project her own feelings onto others.
Lilah Morgan - well, she’s an evil bitch, but you’re supposed to hate her for that, so I more hate her actions than her herself, such as when she gives Cordy the visions which almost kill her or when she sends people to drill into Lorn’s head.
Jo March - her lack of propriety at times, her judgemental streak, her refusal to adhere to convention (at times)
Top 5 Ways My Disliked Characters Contributed To The Main Storyline That I’m Fine With (I am running out of steam and not sure if I can come up with 5 males and 5 females, so gonna combine them for this last one and again might not make it to Top 5)
Alison DiLaurentis - I like her as a villain, her murder kicks off the whole series which worked well, and I liked that she works as a foil for all the girls, in particular Hanna and Mona.
Spike - love him as a villain in Season 2, love that he works as a foil for Angel in AtS Season 5, liked him stirring things up in Lovers Walk in Season 3.
Regina Mills - love her as a villain, love her as the Curse Caster, liked her dynamic with Emma, liked her as a foil for Snow and Emma.
……. I actually might be out, as usually when I hate a character it’s because of the way in which they negatively impact the storyline.
Whew, I’m knackered. Hope you enjoy my answers, even if they’re not 100% what you asked for!
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luukeskywalker · 7 years
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rohans a bad person, theres no denying that. but that doesnt mean you cant acknowledge it and still like his character!! hes got his goodboy moments sometimes too
You Absolute Fool. You Come Into My House, Insult My Fav, Insist I Don’t Know How To Read Because Rohan Kishibe Is “A Bad Person, There’s No Denying That”? 
Please. “Rohan is a bad person” is shit-tier meta. 
You have awakened the beast. 
SPOILERS FOR “THUS SPOKE KISHIBE ROHAN” AND “ROHAN AT THE LOUVRE”
1. Rohan Kishibe’s only actual “bad thing he’s done” was try and kill Koichi, Josuke, and Okuyasu in his introductory chapter. Understandably, that’s not super great! But when you read further and learn about his character, you can kind of understand what was going through his head when he did that. Rohan has an incredible hyperfocusing issue. It can make him work on his comics for days without rest, it can make him search for a serial killer constantly without pause, it can make him aloof and blindsides him from other actual human beings. This is why he almost killed them in his first chapter -- upon meeting another stand user for the first time ever (he only got his stand three months prior, according to DIU canon -- and he’d never met anyone like him), he went super fucking overboard. After he gets forcefully removed from that hyperfocus, he never tries to attack them ever again. He doesn’t try and steal Koichi’s pages. In fact, after that first chapter, he doesn’t steal anyone’s pages. 
2. Rohan does not like Josuke in Diamond is Unbreakable canon. In fact, neither of them like each other. Rohan is a dick to Josuke, Josuke is a dick to Rohan. Rohan generally still sees himself as better than everyone else, but on the outside he is still cordial and polite -- even respectful -- to other people. Just not Josuke. Everyone in the fandom, however, seems to fucking think otherwise. Rohan only really treats Josuke like garbage, and to be honest, can you blame him? Josuke put him in the hospital for a month (it was a deserved punishment, but still) and burned his house down while trying to steal money from him. Rohan literally does not have any reason to be nice to Josuke. He is, however, respectful of Joseph, and the other members of Josuke’s family. He is not a dick to every person he meets. He may have an internal monologue of “I am better than everyone else,” but he doesn’t purposefully flaunt it in front of other people.
3. Does everyone just collectively forget that almost every jobro starts off trying to attack the protagonist? Speedwagon, Kakyoin and Polnareff, Okuyasu, Rohan, Yukako, Yuuya, almost every fucking character in part 4 honestly-- like, “Uwaah!! Rohan attacked the main characters so he’s evil!!” is just grasping at low-hanging fruit. Try harder.
4. Rohan ends up caring about the Duwang Gang. He ends up as part of the Duwang Gang. I’m not making this shit up. Do you want proof? In Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan and Rohan at the Louvre, there are instances where Rohan is eating or having tea with Josuke, Okuyasu, and Koichi. In the scene where they’re having tea, it’s at Rohan’s house -- meaning that they’ve all become close enough that Rohan is fine with them there. He even ditches them to go to Paris basically halfway through a conversation (another example of that hyperfocusing I mentioned earlier), which means he trusts them enough to just... be alone in his house without him. Do you think Okuyasu, Koichi and Josuke would be close friends with a bad person? Do we all remember when they kinkshamed a man to death? 
5. 
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(CONTEXT: He and the man he’s talking about were trying to save the lives of a huge crowd of people at a train station. Everyone else there was being controlled by these special bugs that live in cellphones. The other man did not survive, but he made sure that no one else was hurt that day. Rohan expressed genuine grief at not being able to help him.
6.
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(CONTEXT: The woman he’s carrying got a little too greedy when trying to bargain with forces she didn’t understand. Her fiancé and her mother reaped the consequences by getting in a fatal car crash. She fainted. The bird, which Rohan had saved earlier, was also a victim of those consequences. Rohan singlehandedly saved the woman, the woman’s family, and the bird.)
7. 
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Hmm, wait, what’s that there? Let me get a close up:
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FRIEND???? ROHAN HAS FRIENDS???????? ROHAN IS FRIENDS WITH GENUINE GOODGUY TONIO TRUSSARDI?????????? WHAT A SHOCKER!!!!!
8.
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“Sure, I’ll go illegal poaching with you because it sounds fun.” 
-That night- 
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WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT HE GENUINELY CARES ABOUT HIS FRIEND, WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE!
He then proceeds to save Tonio’s life, at great risk to his own.
I’m sure I could fine even more examples of Rohan being a genuinely good person, with more “goodboy” moments than bad, but I have stuff to do so I’ll stop here.
LONG STORY SHORT: ROHAN KISHIBE IS A GOOD MAN, YOUR META IS WRONG AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD, AND DON’T COME TO MY HOUSE TO TELL ME SHIT THAT ISN’T TRUE. 
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