Math Class
So there was this one moment in time in high school where I actually liked a guy (I know, weird concept, just go with it) who sat in front of me in my math class.
Something you should know about me, I fucking suck at math.
Another thing you should know about me, I was kind of a dick in high school.
Okay, I’m still kind of a dick, but a nice one.
However in high school, I was extra dick-ish (I’m sure it had to do with all raging teenage hormones and a shit childhood)
Anyway.
I fucking sucked at math.
And what happens when you suck at math?
Your teacher assigns you a tutor to help “guide you to the path of success” or whatever she said.
Cool.
No big deal, right?
Wrong.
She assigned me to the nearest person to me.
The fucking guy I had a crush on.
Who thought I was the fucking worst.
Now you’re probably thinking nooo, he couldn’t possibly think that way about you. I’m sure it was all in your head
Well, you’re wrong. The guy hated me.
BUT for good reason.
He just so happened to be the brother of the girl I beat up half a week earlier in gym class.
NOW.
I didn't beat her up just because…no. She was an absolute terror to this disabled girl in said gym class.
She would verbally bully her to the point of tears.
But that one particular day she physically shoved her to the ground while we were all running the mile.
Remember how I said I was a dick?
Well, I used my powers for good. (mostly)
I watched that shit happen.
Then came strolling up to her while she was shooting the shit with her friends and shoved that bish so hard.
Her stupid unblended orange face (this was the early 2010s guys, no one wore the right makeup shade or blended their foundation into their damn necks) bounced off the concrete floor.
Let me just tell you…it was satisfying as hell.
It started a full on fight of which resulted in her getting her ass handed to her.
So you see, her brother hated me
And I didn't blame him
A sister is a sister.
You stand by your siblings, I get it.
BUT.
I had a big fat crush on him and now he was to tutor me.
Let me tell you, he was NOT happy about it.
I distinctly remember the look on his face the second the teacher called his name out to work with me.
It was the kind of face you make when you smell roadkill wafting through your car vents because you have outside air circulating while you're going 65mph(that's 96.56kmph) on a back road.
The look fueled the need to make him like me.
Those who know me now, know I'm a cheeky, flirty little shit.
So not to toot my own horn but it's hard NOT to like me.
(Is that my god-complex talking? Probably)
I can get along with just about anyone.
Not so surprisingly after about 30 minutes of flirting my way into his heart, I had him FLUSTERED.
I'm talking man giggling.
Blushed cheeks.
Couldn't even make eye contact with me.
FLUSTERED.
Don't like who?
Not me.
I'm sure you're probably wondering where I'm going with this.
Well, after class ended he invited me over to his house after school.
A normal person probably wouldn't go to the house of the girl you beat up and meet her parents while on her brother's arm.
I did.
I went.
I wish I had taken a picture of her face when I walked into her house. (she had stayed home the rest of that week because I beat her ass)
Honestly, it was a core memory.
The best part was her parents didn't know it was me who did it.
It was such an eventful week for me.
Monday: bully the bully
Tuesday: ice my hand from bullying the bully
Wednesday: suck at math
Thursday: rizz the bully's brother and come home with him to have dinner with bully and her family.
Friday: DATE THE BULLYS BROTHER.
Yep. You heard me.
That dinner went so well that the guy asked me out.
And I said yes.
I then proceeded to date him the whole year and become best friends with her mom.
Oh yeah, and I still failed math.
I'm gonna make this a series 🤭
@voyeurmunson im sure you'd get a giggle out of this. 😅🤭
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some Choir Quotes bc I can
all courtesy of my very serious™ choir director & Co
"don't breathe. Never breathe"
"keep counting until, one day, you are happy"
"they're like ✨pew pew pew pew pew🔫✨"
"no, not short-short, long-long"
"prepare to ✨die✨🤗"
"you don't go up on up, you go down on up"
"you will die weird deaths"
"listen to it again, because it's a ✨moment✨"
"if you do that, i sacrifice you"
"the penguins are back"
"that's ✨enough✨"
"it's as if i'm in the McDonald's drive-through and i'm ready for that cheeseburger"
"the fact that you are vibing to that is a worry"
"It's so. darn. cute 😌"
"that moment must be like you're spreading the thickest peanut butter you've ever spread"
"it's stuff like that that will make crocs fly at your face"
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fandom(ship) list !
i pretty much read/write exclusively slash fics but there's always exceptions
aftg (jerejean)
9-1-1 (buddie)
teen wolf (thiam)
narnia (casmund)
the maze runner (newtmas)
jujutsu kaisen (satosugu, itafushi, inuokko)
attack on titan (eruri, jearmin)
haikyuu (tsukkiyama, sakuatsu)
harry potter (drarry, wolfstar)
fe3h (yurileth, sylvix, dimiclaude, ashdue)
life is strange 2 (sean/finn)
stardew valley (farmer/alex, sam/sebastian)
i recognize the lack of femslash is appalling but as a queer man it's not usually what i seek out.. my apologies
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