#there's always an uneasiness about people thinking that's the only dynamics I'd be interested in when it's really not the case

[romanticizingmurder]

One of the things that comes up a lot in meta on the vampire chronicles is trying to delineate between "this is being treated as a kink fantasy", "this is fictional trauma beinf sexualized", and "this is being treated like real trauma would be" and I think the interesting and almost unique to itself aspect of TVC is that...it's almost always all of the above.

I've been thinking about David and Lestat's respective turnings lately and what strikes me about both is how they don't really neatly line up into "portrayal of horrific trauma", "rape fantasy", or even "cnc fantasy" (hear me out, we'll get there), but are an uneasy mixture of all of them at the same time.

Disclaimer: I am going to be talking about rape in a fictional story both as a traumatic violence and as a fantasy. I am coming at this from the point of view of someone who enjoys kinks, including nonconsent in fiction, and who is a real life survivor.

Using David's turning because most of the discussion around it is neatly in the same one or two places, we see it treated as all of these things in turn.

Lestat undeniably rapes David. That is not only the implication from blood drinking as a metaphor for sexual desire, but explicitly the language used:

There are scenes of genuine anguish after the assault:

At the same time, the scene is, at least in my opinion, pretty sexualized! We linger in descriptions of David's body, of Lestat's pleasure in this monstrous deed.

And if this was all there was to it, I'd feel pretty comfortable putting this (and the many situations which mirror it in TVC) as a dead dove sort of situation. It's erotic horror, and this is both erotic and horrifying. What else did you expect?

And yet.

Let me make a relevant digression:

Up until 2012, when new research started coming out, the most popular theory for why rape fantasies are so prevalent among women was something called sexual blame avoidance. The idea being that women's sexuality and desires are so shamed by society as a whole that fantasies wherein they are forced allow them a guiltless way of experiencing desire.

This actually appears to not be the case for most people with these fantasies, but it certainly still is for many, and, possibly more relevantly: when these books were written, this would have been The theory on rape fantasies. That rape fantasies are a manifestation of desires that one feels ashamed of, so the fantasy of being forced removes one's agency and thus blame.

And here is David, having been raped by Lestat, saying he really did want it, he just couldn't allow himself to want it.

David had a desire he felt shame for desiring, and Lestat took away that shame by forcibly acting upon it.

It's easy to read this as simply rape apologism, and I can't stop anyone from reading it that way. And I don't and can't really know what Anne was thinking in this or in any number of other scenes that encompass erotica and horror and the comfort of fantasy all at once.

All I can do is say that the first thing I thought of when reading David's speech was how it felt directly lifted from any number of conversations I've had with other survivors on the appeal of cnc scenes. All I know is how I felt reading this and any number of other scenes in this series, which was: oh, finally someone understands what the fantasy is about.

But I think what trips people with that is that these stories aren't "just" short or erotica without weight. These are long stories with character development and emotional weight and real explorations of trauma. And I don't think that's inaccurate! I think they are that. I think these are, at least to me, also long explorations of kink fantasies and how the dynamics of those fantasies, removed from the need for consent and risk awareness of the real world.

Lestat can rape David and it can be something traumatic, something erotic, and something he ended up believing he wanted, because it's not one or the other in this universe. It can be an exporation of cycles of trauma, erotic horror, and long form kink fantasies written with real emotion, all at once. We don't have to choose just one - and I don't think Anne did, either.

#'im going to make a webweave' 4 hours later: #tripping and falling into meta about kink in tvc

[yanderes-galore]

I'd like to request a romantic concept for Zane from Ninjago if that's okay ^^

I may not be far into Ninjago still but I think I know how to get Zane in character enough!

Yandere! Zane Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Stalking, Zane's confused about love, Secret recording, Forced affection, Forced relationship, Kidnapping, Being frozen in place to prevent running away, Isolation, Zane is gullible and it leads to consequences.

Zane seems like he'd struggle momentarily to understand his darling at first.

He's a Nindroid and while he is getting better at understanding human customs he still struggles at times.

When he did have a romantic interest it was towards P.I.X.A.L... but she was also an android.

When it comes to you, a human, he may struggle at times.

However, Zane still likes to believe the two of you are compatible.

Zane is either not as intense as the other ninja or intense as his own way.

But what is certain is he can be dangerous.

Think about what Zane has to his disposal.

Endurance, ice powers, stalking by falcon, downloading info off the internet, ability to change appearance at will, and he learns quickly.

Zane has the potential to be terrifying as a yandere.

Although he does struggle with lying and tries to be as truthful as he can with his darling.

Most of other ninja are obsessive about their darling.

Zane is sort of passive, not revealing much until the very end.

You can't tell Zane is enamoured with you until way later.

Perks of being a nindroid, huh?

Zane is Observing, Protective, Invasive, Gullible, and Obsessive in his own way.

Zane isn't sure why his crush on you developed the way it did.

Maybe he picked it up off the internet somewhere?

Zane likes to conduct research on his darling and the compatibility between you two.

He's quick to form strong attachments and sees you as his crush.

Which results in a ton of research inside his head.

He's looking up on the internet ways to treat a romantic partner.

Then Zane gets curious/concerned about what you're doing and sends Falcon to watch you.

Zane has so many recordings of you and thinks it's normal to store them in his head. Pictures, too.

Sometimes he doesn't like just using Falcon and watches you himself.

When talking to you he snapshots every smile you give him to look back on later.

Zane also tries to impress you or make you laugh with info he found on the internet.

The nindroid's main goal is to understand his darling and will learn info to accomplish that one way or another.

Zane likes to analyze things from your room to see if he can give you a gift similar to it later.

He's determined to be the perfect boyfriend for you.

After all, who else could?

He remembers/learns much more than anyone else could.

Zane probably doesn't show jealousy.

It's unknown if he can feel it but he does feel uneasy with people around you.

Zane's also gullible, the moment he's fed bad/fake information, he'll believe it.

Zane's turn for the worst is probably due to him following a trail of bad information on the internet which feeds into his strange thoughts on love.

(Zane's reading yandere fanfiction to obtain your affection/j-)

Soon Zane doesn't just like watching you.

He wants to act out his love towards you.

He's always been protective but you'll notice he tries to pull off being a "knight in shining armor" sort of dynamic with you.

He wants to be your hero.

You'll also notice Zane attempts hugs or other forms of physical affection he found on the internet with you.

He feels what he's doing is how people love!

Trying to shut his advances down makes the nindroid confused.

Far as he knows what he's doing should make you fall for him.

Maybe he needs to be more direct?

Zane is usually very patient for his darling's consent.

He only uses violence to defend you and his love for you, avoiding lethal force when possible.

He also feels kidnapping you would prevent you from being happy.

But if he's told from some source that kidnapping you would not only make you love him but protect you... he's gullible enough to believe it.

Zane would be a yandere you couldn't get away from unless he was somehow deactivated.

If he wanted to keep you in one spot... he could.

If you tried to leave/escaped, he'll freeze you in place with an apology before dragging you back.

He learns from every escape attempt, too.

Zane's learning as his obsession goes on.

Despite the horrendous things he does to keep you as his, he's polite the whole time.

He feels this is the right way to get you to love him.

If you fought back, he learns counters and tries to subdue you gently.

He's stiff on affection but he learns like with everything else.

Hugs, kisses, cuddling... it's all clunky but he's learning.

He means what he does with good intentions.

But that does not make it right.

Zane is eerily kind and polite with his darling, even if his actions say otherwise.

He'll say he loves you... but freezes your legs in ice.

He says others will hurt you... yet locks you in captivity.

Zane's yandere behavior seems like a contradiction.

Zane is adamant on telling you while he holds you that he does all this because he loves you!

Even if his understanding of love is a dark and twisted imitation of a true relationship.

#yandere ninjago #yandere ninjago zane

[cloud-ya]

Since you said you don't like Aponia disregarding consent (I fully agree, irked me to hell and back just like the writers intended I would say), what do you think about the whole Elysia and Mei dynamic? Originally, I liked Elysia quite a lot but the whole "forced horn touch" thing (it was dubious consent given how Mei only agreed because she had to) and how she went on telling everyone about it even if Mei was visibly uncomfortable really made me uneasy to the point where I now look at Elysia more negatively. I get she is flirticious and all but Mei tried to establish boundaries the entire time and then you have Ely literally forcing her to grant her that weird wish of hers.

oh god I could write whole essays about how I despise elysia and especially that horn scene

hard to believe but I tolerate otto more than her. the way she talks and generally interacts with people, especially mei, irks me to the very core. every time I play elysian realm I pray she doesn't appear and if she does I immediately skip the dialogue no matter how interesting it could be. she's double dead right now but I would take any opportunity to make her more dead

"but she doesn't mean harm!" okay. cool that you haven't got to experience such clingy (in annoying way) people or whatever this can be called in real life. due to experience with my own family I cannot handle anyone who thinks everything they say or do is just a harmless joke. fuck you grandma

I hate everything that happens in the dialogue with horn touching and the aftermath of it in next dialogues. people turning mei's groan into moaning and what not, while it clearly sounds like she's holding herself back from murdering that pink shit on sight because she has to agree on whatever she wants to get to the deep end. then raven joking about the whole thing in front of these two, asking if her claws would be enough for elysia to have fun touching as well. mei had to ask her twice not to bring it up, second time with more annoyed/harsher tone so raven would stop coming up with excuses. what pissed me off more is that mei ended up not reaching the deep end despite all those personal space sacrifices, even though it wasn't elysia's fault directly since it was kosma who didn't let them pass

how am I even supposed to react to elysia boasting to everyone about touching mei's horns? hey, you forced someone to agree on touching a part of their body they have always been refusing to let people touch due to normal human feeling of not wanting to be touched by strangers! bravo! people should be glad I'm not mihoyo's plot writer at this point

... but do you know what other dialogue could gain a second place or even share the first place of my most hated elysia dialogues? I can't recall it fully and I don't want to look for it, but basically there elysia was treating her beauty and ideal appearance as some sort of disadvantage. fucked up metabolism in a way of not gaining weight... really? this is seen as a flaw? this is shit you can hear only from people who tick all the boxes of society's beauty standards. no need to agree with this one, it's a personal feeling because of my body

remember that I don't aim my hate towards people liking elysia and neither I'd like to persuade them she's not worth liking. I'm not a little shit to cancel people over that, I just despise the character itself

#this is elysia hate zone #ah um. maybe i should add some tags so people can hide this post for themselves #long post #honkai impact

[onewomancitadel]

thank You for answering my previous ask. Your reply was perfect. The "Jaune cant date Cinder kuz she a murder" argument was always so silly to me. They r trying to make some moral claim but it doesnt add up. Like what so the better option is to have Jaune become a killer by murdering her? Wouldn THAT ruin his character by their logic? I dont really get the stigma against men saving women either. I think the idea is that it makes men look like clueless simps and women look like useless idiots???

Hi again, no worries. (: Ask in question.

I mean to be entirely frank I've literally not interacted with a single person who has expressed these ideas to me about Knightfall (definitely Cinder though, and the idea that Jaune will kill her etc.) because I keep to myself on Tumblr. I've mostly only interacted with people like this regarding Reylo, but I've heard it all before.

I don't think it's really a claim about what stories ought to be told for the sake of preventating harm though, as I said in that post.

Like what so the better option is to have Jaune become a killer by murdering her? Wouldn THAT ruin his character by their logic?

Well, yes it would, but they don't understand Jaune's character because they've ignored every single scene he's in ever, as well as the entire point of the Haven confrontation with Cinder. They invented a different story in their head: Cinder is evil, obviously you're supposed to kill her, please ignore the point of Jaune's Semblance which is literally compassion and support as a superpower.

I dont really get the stigma against men saving women either. I think the idea is that it makes men look like clueless simps and women look like useless idiots???

'Simp' is one of the worst words ever invented. I don't like reading it one bit.

I think 'man saving woman' is a flat reduction of the Knightfall dynamic (as proposed) though, but I know what you mean. I don't know how we got to the point where 'You don't have to do it alone, let me help you and see you for who you really are and could be' is somehow a bad thing, but it makes me feel uneasy. It's just very strange that kill death murder is a more acceptable and 'less regressive' conclusion than like, connection.

But yes, there's an assumption there that it's foregrounded in misogynistic tropes, e.g. classic damsel in distress scenario. I'm not sure that 'simping' factors in (as in, as an actual influencing bad trope) since this, as a 'problem' seems to be a relatively recent (?) and bizarre idea - not sure how extending affection and compassion to a woman (aka the foundation of romance and generally relationships) is... behaviour to be looked down upon?

I also think these kinds of tropes are always contextually sensitive.

If anything I would put forth that Knightfall is specifically a relationship that would reconstruct the knight and Maiden in the tower trope (i.e. damsel in distress), especially as it's so literally reverse Salem/Ozma (the first maiden and knight). Especially because you've got the holy knight who is also Joan of Arc inspired (famously nonviolent) tied to the Maiden who is a maiden because Maidenhood grants magical powers. So yes, considering how traditional gender dynamics are influencing the pairing is worthwhile, but I don't think there's anything regressive here. Quite the opposite.

But as I said I don't think that's really the angle being argued from because trying to take it seriously when it's not about that will leave both parties dissatisfied. It's not really a topic I'm earnestly interested in debating.

The reality is that most of the people who take issue with Knightfall in this context probably want some other ship to happen or they don't understand Jaune's character and think that something textually rejected back in V5 (him trying to kill Cinder) will somehow happen. So if their interpretation is so countertextual and missing the fundamental themes of the show I'm not sure I'd waste time worrying about their analysis.

Obviously that isn't to say some people might take genuine issue with Knightfall but they're not the people I'm talking about. You're allowed to like and dislike things in equal measure, you just don't need to use pseudo-social justice rhetoric to defend your point. That's part of how we ended up with this mess. If it were actual earnest concern I might take such criticisms more seriously. But because they show their hand thinking that romance is regressive (?), compassion is regressive (?), and Cinder shouldn't be redeemed (?), I don't have reason to really care.

Thanks for your ask. I understand gossiping is fun and so is judging other peoples' opinions, but I also suggest you try to find a space where you're not being subjected to this stuff all the time. Unless that's your idea of fun. (:

#seraphina's asks #user: anonymouse #knightfall

[cassandrajoybellbittner]

*Warning Adult Content*

A PACK ALLIANCE - Chapter 23

Adyen

The tension in the room was thick.

So thick that I wasn't even sure a knife would help cut through it at this point.     

I was sitting to the side of Naylan and Georgiou who were both staring at each other intently.

I wasn't sure if they were doing some weird inspection thing that was mandatory that I didn't know about or if they were just being petty for the sake of it. 

We were in what I had come to know as the meeting room at the top of Georgiou's Pizzeria.

The room would be silent if it wasn't for the sound seeping into it from the eatery at the bottom. 

"I came to apologize," Naylan started, saying his first words since we came into this room together thirty minutes ago.

Georgiou relaxed at my brother's words.

His shoulders slacked and he leaned back on the armchair he was sitting on.   

"So, I heard," he said in a raspy voice, folding his hands on his lap as he kept looking at Naylan.

Despite his demeanor, I could still see hints of his alertness from before.

Len had explained to me that in the truest of senses, Georgiou was not born an Alpha and that Naylan was, so even though they would be talking to each other as equals there was a sure chance that Georgiou would be relatively uneasy.   

Leigh was supposed to be here with us but something had come up and she had to go into the main city on her motorcycle and wouldn't be back for hours.   

Naylan hummed. His voice was deep as his eyes drifted from corner to corner.

"When I started leading my pack it was just a bunch of kids trying to make ends meet," Naylan said, leaning forward.

The action seemed to surprise Georgiou.     

"Yes, we might have stolen a thing or two but we respect you. I respect you," he made clear, not straightening out his pose.

"One day I want to lead a group like yours," my brother continued.     

"You should sit up," Georgiou said, looking down at Naylan.

He sounded uncomfortable because of the dynamic I suppose.     

"I will, if you accept my apology and listen to me," Nylan said.

"Please," he added after a pause.     

Georgiou sighed, closing his eyes.

I could see the frustration on his face and the way his eyebrows were arched in annoyance.

It was the first time I had ever looked at him and thought he was old.

Not retirement old or anything but old as an adult.

I've always known him as the goofy surfer dude that made bad pizza but now he looked his age in front of Naylan who was begging him to accept his apology.   

"Alright," the blond-haired man said after a while.

Naylan raised his head and I noticed a slight smile on his lips.   

"Thank you," he said, clasping his hands together.

"As I was saying," he looked down at the floor, maybe not trying to invoke the innate fair other wolves were supposed to have of him.

I wondered how that felt like... having people keep their distance because you were on some weird hardwired biological hierarchy. 

 "So, we're now at the edges of the city with a bunch of wolves who are barely in their twenties and some of them speak only French," Naylan.     

"Why are you telling me this?" Georgiou asked and Naylan laughed a bit.     

"We just met properly," Naylan started saying before rubbing the back of his neck.

"But I want to ask for your help. I don't want us to just drive around stealing stuff. I know that was a bad idea..." he trailed. 

Georgiou raised a brow at him.

"Help?" 

"Jobs, organization help, getting IDs..." Naylan trailed and Georgiou nodded his head, humming a bit.

I shifted on my seat and the two of them turned to look at me.

They seemed almost confused as to why I was in with them.   

"Sorry," I mumbled under my breath, holding on to the armrests.

"I'll just fade back into the background if you don't mind," I said, trying to tell a joke but neither seemed interested and they went back to talking to themselves.     

"What makes you think I'd want to help you?" Georgiou asked Naylan, catching me off guard.

That sounded very unlike him.

Naylan laughed.

"You know, I've been in Toronto for quite a bit," he said, letting his dark eyes fall to his shoes.

"A lot of people seem to think you're quite kind, so I'm banking on believing them."     

Georgiou smiled at that.

Had the former posturing been all business talk stuff?

I don't know. I don't understand a lot of this stuff.     

"They're quite right," Georgiou said before his smile thinned out and a serious look took form on his face.

"But, to be quite serious it's a lot to ask me to take care of two packs at the same time. What do you have for me that would make it worth it?"   

"Right now, we're living in the abandoned apartments as I explained," Naylan said and Georgiou nodded.     

"We can't stay there forever. The local government's going to be pushed to deal with a bunch of homeless folks sooner or later." 

Georgiou nodded again.

"Yeah, I got that."   

"Well, in the summer, I plan to expand a bit into the woods," Naylan said.   

Georgiou raised a brow at that.

"You think you can handle living in the woods."     

Naylan nodded.

"Yeah, mum and I used to live off the land for a bit," he explained and a small part of me sunk a little, knowing that there were some memories he would have shared with my mum that I just would never have.   

 "Anyway," my brother started saying, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"I brought up the woods because of fish and wood and hopefully produce..." Naylan trailed, looking directly at Georgiou for the first time in a while.   

"We can share that," Naylan said.

"You know, if you can help us get started and settle down," he added.     

"What do you say?" Naylan asked after some extended silence from Georgiou. 

"Tempting," Georgiou said, resting back on his armchair.     

"Your expenses will get cut by a lot," Naylan offered, leaning forward.

"I don't know how your budget is doing but having some free cash isn't a bad idea no matter how well you're off," he explained.   

Maybe Naylan didn't come off as having a good head on his shoulders initially but I could see that Georgiou was impressed with him.

He sounded like he knew what he was talking about and maybe the older man was taking a liking to him.     

Georgiou smiled.

"Alright, kiddo, sounds like a deal," he said, reaching out a hand that Naylan didn't hesitate to take a hold of.     

"Is this a pack alliance of some sort?" Naylan asked, the excitement lacing his voice quite obvious.     

"You can call it that," Georgiou said as they broke their handshake and Naylan broke into a grin. 

My muscles relaxed when the two got up.

Naylan walked over to me and tucked his hands into his pockets as Georgiou wandered out of the room, asking if his wife was back in a shout as he headed down the stairs.     

"He's pretty cool, isn't he?" Naylan said, making me look over at him. 

I shrugged.

"I guess." 

"Hey, when you visit mum, ask her to give you her gardening journal. I need it," Naylan said, making me snort chuckle.

As I came to know my brother more every day, I've come to the realization that he is indeed a momma's boy.

The alpha aura and the wide shoulders didn't stop that boyish posture from taking over him every time he talked about mum.

She seemed wonderful from the way he spoke about her.

I hoped I felt the same way when I got to see her for myself.     

My eyes went wide when I felt a hand pat my back.

I looked to my side to find my brother now massaging my shoulder. 

"I'm heading downstairs," he said, letting go of me before making his way out of the room too.

I stared on, not wanting to head downstairs yet and instead, I wandered over to one of the windows to look outside at the city. 

Sure, the light pollution made looking at the stars almost impossible but the moon was out there, although dim and I smiled, wondering if werewolves howled at the moon like most movies said they did.   

My smile became a bit faint as the weight of how much I had been through in a few months weighed on my shoulders.

My life would never be the same way again and to be quite honest, I was perfectly fine with that.

I smiled again, leaning off the window as I reminded myself to call Len and tell him I was alright before heading home.

[warwaged-archive]

i see you've picked up tifa! of course, you're great. just out of pure innocent curiosity, do you have any canon ships with her? :D

UMPROMPTED ASKS // always accepting questions about the muses c:

Hi anon! Yeah, I had been interested in her for a while and it only took a tiny bit of encouragement for me to do it hahah And thank you for the compliment 🥰

As to the actual answer to your ask, it really depends? There are some I can see and that I like, but sometimes I think they’re just as amazing as platonic relationships. So I don’t have anything really specific in that I can only see X ship for her romantically, or that I can only see those ships as romantic relationships. Right now she’s brand new on the blog too so as I write her more the answers here may be expanded, too (it happened a lot with some of my other muses, and I grew to like some ships I didn’t initially like). 

But getting to the point of what I think you want to know (and keeping in mind my familiarity with the characters and everything is mostly through the Remake)! I really like Cloud/Tifa, it was what I leaned towards while playing the FF7R, but to be fair I can just as easily see it as platonic. I know many people ship Aerith/Tifa, too, and I honestly can see the potential and like the idea, although I think their friendship is truly really wonderful and much more important than either a romantic relationship between them or between either of them and Cloud. And although the same still applies in this regard, I like them as an OT3 as well. 

Other characters I’ve seen her shipped with I don’t know well enough or haven’t seen them interact enough with her to have an opinion yet uahsduhasudh Except Barret. But in this case that’s a big no for me. And anyways, when it comes to writing, the usual applies: I never assume a romantic ship without talking about it, I’m just as interested in developing Tifa’s relationships with other characters without them being romantic even if I consider them possible ships, and last but not least, I’m always open to developing stuff I didn’t mention here, romantic or platonic.

#Anonymous #* general: answered / DARK WINGS DARK WORDS. #* out of character: the mun / THAT GLOOMY GIRL WHO SIGHS A LOT? #does anyone else get anxious about talking about ships or is it just me aksndfksndfkjddn #there's always an uneasiness about people thinking that's the only dynamics I'd be interested in when it's really not the case #and in tifa's case tbh I didn't even consider the romantic ships much when I decided to pick her up... #I adore her friendship with aerith like I've been discussing with my biggest supporter to add tifa in the first place asiudhfiauhsdfiu #it is very very important and it's lovely to see it develop in game and explore it in rp #and while I do like the ship I feel that aspect of it is often overlooked in favor of either shipping them or making them rivals for cloud #the rivals side of it is a no for me tbh I'm not here for female characters competing over a guy #it doesn't interest me at all #a romantic development I can see happening but even then I feel like their friendship is a big part of it and perhaps the most important #which would still be true in ot3 version skdnfkasnf #anyways! I'll just leave this here and hide goodbye #one last thing: when it comes to the turks I uh don't know yet #maybe with big discussion and development? #maybe! idk! yet! #feel free to ask about things at any time tho anon and if we're mutuals my ims are always open as well

[somebody-909]

Stalkyoo After the Formal (pt.1) - Role Reversal and Yeong-Gi's Denial of His Feelings

The black and white formal acts as a turning point in Shin-ae and Yeong-gi’s relationship, establishing their friendship and giving them moments of romantic tension.

It all leads to the emotional finale on the hospital balcony, where Yeong-gi first feels genuine romantic feelings for Shin-Ae.

This analysis looks at key moments that show how Shin-ae and Yeong-gi’s relationship changes after the formal arc — displaying emerging romantic feelings, and why their roles seemed to have reversed: it is now Yeong-gi who is hesitant to get any closer to Shin-ae, and she is the one eager to connect with him.

Ep. 75 | Elevator - Why the awkwardness and melancholy?

When Yeong-gi first sees Shin-ae after the balcony he seems quite... polite and distanced. He doesn’t act like the Yeong-gi of the past at all. He doesn't joke around with her like he used to... He doesn't smile or act friendly and he awkwardly turns away after looking at her.

He only smiles in the first panel, and his expression is… complicated. Note his soft smile, slightly closed eyes and slightly furrowed brows.

It's a soft, fond but slightly melancholic look.

This mixed expression is caused by genuine fondness for the person it’s for, with the additional tension and slight melancholy/sadness caused by the fact that this fondness is unspoken. This Look™, is the first expression he gives her after the balcony.

(But if I’m speaking more subjectively, this is the look people give those they love, but where it is unspoken. The melancholy associated with the expression makes it less likely to be purely platonic in nature — platonic friendships don’t often have this sense of something hidden and unspoken, and more often have relatively straightforward reciprocal affection. The romantic nature is also emphasized since The Look™ is being given to someone Yeong-gi has known for only a few weeks/months.)

At the least, this unspoken fondness may explain why Yeong-gi seems so awkward afterward:

He senses a difference in their feelings towards each other (he feels this because he is somewhat aware of the true nature of his, but Shin-ae is not/would not be at this stage)

He does not appreciate the nature of these feelings and does not want to entertain them (for reasons mentioned in my balcony analysis)

Shin-Ae also notices his odd demeanour and tells him she thought he'd be more excited - Yeong-gi's behaviour is purposefully shown to be different now. It's hard to imagine this is the same guy who'd joke around, easily and outwardly showing his joy to be around Shin-ae.

In Ep. 78, Yeong-gi is called by Shin-ae after she’s forced late when Dieter passes out. He has The Look™ while speaking to her. (Notably, Yeong-gi only has this look when they are not directly looking at each other). When Yeong-gi picks her up, he seems awkward once again… especially due to seeming like a third wheel in Shin-ae and Dieter's budding relationship.

He has The Look™ in images 1, 2, and 4. And in image 3, he seems very awkward being with Shin-Ae and Dieter. (I'd argue his expression also shows displeasure — he slightly, and under-the-surface, doesn't like what's happening).

Ep. 85 | A Bear and Allergies - Compassion, but only at a distance

After Shin-ae’s sister invades her home and Shin-ae calls over the bois, she is obviously quite unnerved and uneasy. Yeong-gi immediately recognizes this and in aims of comforting her, tells Dieter to give her a hug (which he is unable to do without freaking out so he gives Shin-ae a hug using a bear as proxy).

Yeong-gi understands how Shin-ae feels and wants to comfort her, but instead of doing this himself (eg. by talking to her, giving her a pat on the shoulder, etc...), he tells Dieter to. Although he's being a good wingman, there’s an interesting sense of Yeong-gi making sure to keep his distance, even if he wants to be there for her.

When Shin-ae notices Yeong-gi’s allergic reaction (which they think may be a fever), she reaches to touch his forehead to gauge his temperature — he quickly declines and moves her hand aside.

In my black and white formal analysis, I discuss the motif of distance and how it’s seen in Shin-ae and Yeong-gi’s dynamic — and how it’s represented through touch and their hands. Characters who want to connect emotionally will also show physical signs they do (like extending your hand to someone). Emotional connection often requires characters to physically be present together as well. Characters who want to avoid connection avoid touch and keep their distance.

Here, Shin-ae shows a desire to “reach” Yeong-gi by helping him, and this is reflected when she extends her hand and reaches to touch his forehead. A refusal of her touch in this case is also a refusal of her help and her attempt to connect to him. Shin-ae shows some slight discomfort at this – it was a harmless attempt to help him, but he doesn’t want her to.

Yeong-gi follows with an explicit verbal refusal:

“Again, you don’t have to worry about me… You just had your home broken into, you need to put yourself before me, alright?”

This is fitting with Yeong-gi’s overarching character arc — he has an extremely low sense of self-worth that prevents him from accepting others’ concern. Him telling Shin-ae to put herself before him also fits his thinking: that those he cares about are more important than him, Shin-ae included. And it doesn’t matter if what she actually wants is to help him.*

*This is an interesting trait of Yeong-gi's... despite caring deeply for Shin-Ae, he undermines her intelligence and wishes by not accepting her affection for him, and carefully controlling how close she gets. Although born from insecurity, it is also, fascinatingly, covertly manipulative.

Ep. 85-6 | Bills - I care about you

Yeong-gi asks Shin-ae if she is able to get to where she is staying for the night and she gives him more information than he asks for, showing new emotional vulnerability. He notices this and gives her The Look™ — he appreciates that she is now more open to him.

When Yeong-gi sees her overdue bills, he makes sure to let her know that her financial struggles do not determine her worth and anyone who tells her otherwise isn’t worth her time.

“Remember you’ve always got someone to lean on with your friends, okay?”

His spiel is incredibly heartwarming, and we can understand that he states these things from his own heart. However, he keeps it impersonal, stating "your friends" (not “me” or “us”) and instead allowing Shin-Ae to define whether he fits under that category as well. Yeong-gi is no longer trying to assert his friendship anymore.

After opening up more in response and letting the boys take her to the hospital to stay with her father, she removes the "Stalker" in Yeong-gi's contact name in her phone, showing development in their relationship since they first met and a large difference in how she sees him now — they're friends, and she thinks so too.

Ep. 89 | Insolence, but only for Shin-ae (and only in secret) & a Kousuke/Yeong-gi parallel

After learning of Shin-Ae's etiquette classes, Yeong-gi enters Kousuke’s office, specifically to start trouble with him. Yeong-gi is shown to try his best lately to obey his family members (namely his father), but once again we see how he is fine with starting trouble, even if it costs him, if it's for those he cares about — despite Kousuke reminding Yeong-gi of the repercussions of getting in trouble with their father, Yeong-gi doesn’t back down.

Kousuke: “You know you’re only going to anger father if he catches you being indolent.”

Yeong-gi: “I don’t give a crap if he finds out.”

Yeong-gi then aggressively asks him about the classes Kousuke put her in:

Kousuke: “It’s for her own good.”

Yeong-gi: “What do you mean, her own good?”

Kousuke: “... She’s the worst employee I’ve ever seen, so I signed her up for classes to fix her issues.”

Yeong-gi: “Have you ever voiced your concerns… tell her what she can improve upon? … She may have her flaws, but she’s a lot more capable than you think!”

Kousuke: “I’m preparing her for what’s to come her way in the future.”

Yeong-gi: “You don’t even know if she wants this career for her future! Everytime I see her, she’s miserable. Like she wants to leave. She’s uncomfortable!”

In my black and white formal analysis, I discuss how there are multiple instances— where Yeong-gi and Kousuke, as well as how they affect Shin-Ae, are purposefully contrasted — and this is paralleled here.

Consistently in these instances, (although Kousuke’s intentions are often good) Yeong-gi is shown to be the one who best understands Shin-Ae. At the very least, Yeong-gi is shown here to care for Shin-Ae enough to confront his brother and potentially face the wrath of his father, despite trying especially hard to be in their good graces recently.

However, it is important to note — Yeong-gi goes out of his way to ensure his intentions of helping Shin-ae are indirect and she does not know. Instead, he tries to help her in roundabout ways, secretly.

Yeong-gi does not want his good intentions to reach her.

Conclusions

Yeong-gi displays a notable difference in how he acts, especially around Shin-ae. His new emerging feelings conflict his insecurities, resulting in a standoffish Yeong-gi who is secretive in his affection, and calculatingly tries to distance himself from Shin-ae. But... this isn't what he truly wants, and is instead, another form of self-sabotage.

However, as time goes on, Yeong-gi cannot keep this facade up indefinitely... and he's occasionally caught off guard, giving us glimpses into what he truly feels.

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