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#there’s something queer here
unnamedelement · 3 days ago
Part 3: This Elf and This Dwarf *Might* Be Gay
Let’s sail into the West together—no homo! (LesbiReal, tho, they are—in the most conservative interpretation of the facts—at least enjoying a QPR or an exceptionally romantic friendship.)
they’re in love, your honor
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seeing ppl post about international asexuality day is an interesting one for me
asexuality is a bit of a weird sexuality (in my experience) in that a lot of people just do not understand what it means so ppl putting stuff on their insta story or whatever is like a big glowing sign saying not only do i understand what your sexuality means but i’m completely accepting and supportive of it too and that is just. very comforting.
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griseldagimpel · a month ago
More Thoughts on Representation
There’s media that does not have canon queer relationships, media that does have unambiguously queer relationships, and then there’s media that kind of falls into a gray area in between. Some of this gray area media is backed up by Word of God, and some of it isn’t. And what specific works fall into this gray area is debatable because heteronomativity is a powerful force. A standard I’ve seen used (by Is There Gay In It?) is the Grandmother Standard: Would a grandmother who knows nothing about LGBT rights recognize it as a queer.
Good Omens is a great example of piece that falls into this gray area. On one hand, you’ve got Crowley and Aziraphale having romantic dinners with each other and whatnot. On the other hand, there’s probably some grandmother somewhere who thinks they’re just good friends. Because heteronormativity.
Stephen Universe, She-Ra and the Princess of Power, and Supernatural (particularly the Spanish dub) are all stories that start in the ambiguous category and move into the unambiguous category by the end. Apparently, so does Revolutionary Girl Utena. (That one takes some serious heteronormativity, but there you go.) I mean, I could have told you Cas was in love with Dean in season 4, but it took a billion seasons to get an "I love you."
And on one hand, that’s frustrating because cishet couples don’t have to be super obvious for grandmothers to recognize the couple as a couple. On the other hand, it can be frustrating when queer couples are prohibited from having or denied the super obvious stuff. Even if public displays of relationship wouldn’t fit the setting, the writer could always choose to show the couple in private. Not doing so is a choice.
By the super obvious stuff, to be clear, I mean stuff like “we’re dating” or a chaste kiss on the lips or “this is my boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/partner/wife/husband”. With canon cishet couples, there’s never any hesitation about them having the unambiguous stuff. It’s just slipped in without the writers thinking about it.
I’ve seen well-reasoned arguments that Carol and Maria could be seen as a couple in the Captain Marvel movie. BUT Disney’s talking about how the Eternals will feature their first gay character, so apparently not.
And that’s part of the function of denying queer couples the super obvious stuff. It allows for that plausible deniability.
To conclude, it would be nice if heteronormativity wasn’t a thing, but sometimes the powers that be are just being cowards.
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ivecarvedawoodenheart · 2 months ago
@deniceford made this post about Nursey and Rans talking about being Black men who love men and it’s something that’s been on my mind for a bit, so
“The thing is,” Ransom says, “I don’t know how not to love him, you know?”
Nursey leans against the counter. “I know.”
“So if we take that as a given — me loving Holster — then that limits the options I have going forward. I love him privately. We love secretly. I love him openly and he doesn’t love me. Or I get — lucky.”
Ransom pauses long enough to down a glass of water. Nursey waits, watching a subtle tension come and go from his jaw.
“And it’s easier in a way,” Ransom continues, clearing his throat, “because neither of us is going into the NHL, and there are surely some companies that will mind if their consultant loves men and women, but the consequences aren’t the same. Our families know. He knows. But then—“
“Add the fact that we’re Black,” Nursey says. He knocks his knuckles against the sink, trying to get some of this energy out before he freezes.
Ransom nods. “Then we have different options, other decisions to make. Learn at a queer campus. Play a mostly white sport. Dress well.”
“Take steps to limit the odds of someone saying something. Hope all of that distracts from the fact that you like to kiss men too. Realize that — that no matter what, they’ll never really understand.”
They’re silent a moment. It’s a weary sort of thing that seeps into the floorboards; Nursey sees it drag the cabinets down, sees it pull on the corners of Ransom’s mouth, feels it settle uncomfortably on his own shoulders.
“And that’s not — I love hockey,” Ransom says quietly. “But you know how it is.”
He does. “It’s carving a space out when nearly everyone else has reserved seats.”
“And it’s so tiring sometimes.”
The weariness paints over Ransom’s face.
Nursey says, “If you’d played anywhere else, do you think you still would’ve come out?” and Ransom raises his eyebrows as if to say what do you think? “Yeah. Yeah, I get that.”
“What about you?”
He doesn’t even have to think about it. “What do you think?”
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novelconcepts · 2 months ago
It was already the case on Water Lilies where lesbians were saying we want a happy ending, we want a happy ending. What is a happy ending in a lesbian love story? Eternal possession? We want a frozen image of two people getting married? We have to tell our own narratives regarding how we lead our lives and how we love. Talking about the different power dynamics in a lesbian relationship is the first thing. Then building a love dialogue without expected conflict, departing from love as conflict, love as a bargain. Saying that love is fulfilling! Love can be emancipating. And it’s also about friendship. Relying on that kind of eternity.
Celine Sciamma's words made me think about Damie and i was wondering if it's just me or do you, dr. Concepts, see it, too?
By the way, i think a lot of themes you have been talking about regarding Dani and Jamie's relationship apply to PoaLoF :)
The first time I saw that quote, I thought it was explicitly about Bly/Dani and Jamie, so yeah—I definitely see it. I do think there’s a fine line to walk there, that to imply lesbians have such a different language for love that they can’t have a happy-while-fulfilling ending is...not quite right. But happiness as a merit of the now and not as a result only of a frozen sense of always-without-change? Yeah, that feels applicable.
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overthemoonwithme · 4 months ago
It’s a bit frustrating that with Matteo his discomfort around women was enough to confirm that he’s gay. But with Fatou her outright saying she’s not into men doesn’t make her a lesbian? I know irl there are enby folk who may be averse to relationships with men and don’t id as lesbian, but y’all see the obvious double standard here right?
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jupitermelichios · 5 months ago
I had such high hopes for NaNo this year. I was going to finish What Does The Fox Say, work on the sequels to Pretty Boy, maybe make some real progress on my badwrong vampire!batboys AU, hell, I even thought I might finally get that second chapter of my five year old Daredevil fic written.
But no.
Instead, I have spent today writing 5,000 words of Spike buying Dawn Summers magic jewellry, as a preface for writing a crossover canon divergence fic where Spike rides off into the sunset with John Constantine. Because apparently my Buffy x Hellblazer ‘verse refuses to die.
If I’ve learned anything from fandom it’s that no matter how weird and esoteric, there’s always someone out there who wants to read it, but i’m fairly confident in saying the audience for this fic would be like 5 people. And yet, for some reason that’s all my brain wants me to work on.
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quicksilvermckay · 9 months ago
Literally noone:
Not a soul:
Me: Okay but what about an SPN/SGA crossover with trans!Cas and also there are trans Wraith, including trans queens and trans kings, bc yes there are kings, but they are really rare but revered not just bc they can typically give birth, but also bc they are strong and resourceful and generally amazing. And trans queens generally can't give birth, but that's okay bc they are fierce warriors and take excellent care of their hive in every aspect and their minds shine brighter than anyone else's. Also they often take in younger queens or kings to raise them like their own children, and if the trans queen dies, the young queen/king takes over the hive.
Also nonbinary Wraith exist and some of them are royalty. It is considered a great honor to serve such royalty, which are rare and transcend the understanding of binary Wraith, who can only marvel at the beauty that is the gender expression in the nonbinary Wraith's mind.
Also Wraith come in all sexualities (including, but not limited to, bisexuality, pansexuality, asexuality, homosexuality, heterosexuality).
There are Wraith polycules.
There are Wraith qpr.
There are a multitude of genders, sexualities and partnerships (most) humans have never even thought of and wouldn't be able to understand.
#In short: queer Wraith#I know they're the bad guys in the show but wow did the books help me see their... humanity is a weird word here#They're living beings with feelings and a history which was anything but easy but they adapted and overcame#Also trans!Cas#And destiel of course#Sam is also on Atlantis as an anthropologist#Cas resigned from the military the day before the trans ban was enacted#Then he came on as a scientific consultant at Atlantis lol#Bc mayyyyybe Landry gave him a tip and a number to call#Dean is a lieutenant or something and has been on a gate team with Cas for years#And due to Atlantis getting more and more residents guess who has to bunk together#Sadly there are two beds but that doesn't mean they have to use both of them#Now that Cas isn't military anymore they can actually be together without the immediate fear of being thrown out#Even though I know bisexuality might still lead to problems in the friggin military#But I have decided that all superiors at Atlantis are firm allies who will not tolerate any nonesense from soldiers or anyone else#There's so much more but these are already too many tags lol#Not like anyone will read it anyway#But this is all still just in my head and I've never actually written it down#I'm beginning to think that I might need to do so at some point#Even though it's a lot of fun to keep changing things#Redo the same scenes with slight differences again and again#Change the order of things#Add new stuff#That's what I love#Not the writing part#I like that and I especially like reading it afterwards#At least in recent years where I think my writing improved#But yeah#I may just write this to finally write a trans character#Or several hehe
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kinetic-elaboration · 10 months ago
1: I love following your blog; your content is amazing! I don’t know if you’ll want to answer this, but I don’t have anyone else to talk to irl about this (I’ve tried), and I saw a post where you mentioned being bi. I am around your age, and have suspected I was bi since I was 16. But I never really let myself face it (internalized homophobia/a family not okay with it) and most people in my life think I’m just straight (I never talk about it) since I’ve only dated (and now married) guys —
2: I am starting to feel comfortable accepting that I’m bi and wanting to finally allow it to be part of my identity. I tried to bring it up to my husband who said, “Why now? It doesn’t really matter does it? You married me, so you’re basically straight anyway.” I think he maybe think it means I would cheat (even though it doesn’t, it just means I want to accept all of myself FINALLY. If you didn’t cheat when you thought I just liked men, why would that change if I also like women???). —
6 (and last, sorry this was so long it just came out):  IS there any point to me coming out at this point? Or should I just stay silent? I’ve been playing with this idea of talking to an LGBTQ+ therapist, but it makes me feel stupid. And a little afraid. I’ve seen some of the LGBTQ+ community not be as accepting to of nice towards those who identify as bi and it makes me feel even more vulnerable. I feel really alone in this and a little lost. Ignored. And unheard. 
Hi anon,
I feel like there are probably additional parts of this ask that I didn’t get? I’m just going to answer as best as I can. I’ve been thinking about what to say for a while, and I still don’t entirely know but I want to give some kind of response.
I think that coming out to yourself/recognizing your own identity and starting to feel comfortable with it is a really big and important and awesome step. Imo it’s also a long and non-linear process (at least it was for me--and it sounds like for you too, if this is something you’ve been thinking about since you were 16).
I started coming out to myself at about 18/19, when I started college, but I went through many rounds of crises about it: not understanding my feelings for women, feeling like a faker, being unable to separate my identity from my relationship with my ex-girlfriend, feeling “not queer enough,” being uncomfortable with the word “bi” specifically (and trying every way I could to describe myself some other way...), feeling like a faker again when I was dating a man, feeling like I was too straight-passing to “count,” and so on.
Even now, I’m out and proud online and I’m out to most of my college friends, and semi-out to some non-college friends, but I’m not out at work or to my law school acquaintances or to my family. And this is still a source of friction for me. But that being said, being able to be out and proud online has really helped me. I didn’t realize how much internalized biphobia I had until I started to untangle it. For me it was somehow easier to be accepting of other people than of myself. And, cheesy as it sometimes feels, just seeing so much positive reinforcement of my identity on here, every repetitive ‘you’re valid!!’ post or ‘reminder that’ post, chipped away at some of those imposter syndrome: sexuality edition feelings I had. Like learning good habits to replace or overlay bad habits.
So, I say all that because I want to say, and hopefully it doesn’t sound cheesy, you know you and your feelings and your identity, and if you know you’re bi, then you’re bi. No matter who knows and no matter who doubts, you are. Even if you’ve never dated a woman, even though you’re married to a man, even though whatever, it’s part of you, and it’s a good thing. There’s no one way to be bi, and no wrong way either.
Obviously, I disagree with your husband that you’re ‘basically straight’ since you are married to a man. Weirdly, my ex-boyfriend dismissed me in pretty much the opposite way. I was trying to tell him how being in a relationship with a man made me feel insecure in my bisexuality, like had I been faking the whole time?? and he was like, ‘you’re obviously bi lol whatever.’ Which... points for trying I guess. He was sincere in that but it was annoying to be told that my confusion and my complicated feelings basically weren’t real. Was I overthinking? Probably, but that’s what I needed to do at that time.
Anyway, to reiterate again things I think are helpful to hear: bi people can be monogamous, and our sexuality doesn’t change because of it. We’re not straight sometimes and gay or lesbian other times. I’ve been single and celibate for a while and I’m not asexual--and honestly no one would argue I am. Logically, action and identity are different and we all have a certain instinct for it. We wouldn’t tell a fourteen year old who’s never been on a date or kissed anyone “you aren’t straight or gay or bi or anything, you’re not allowed an identity until you do something with someone.” But the world is so heteronormative that it’s still hard--for me too--not to see a man and woman together and assume they’re both straight. In other words, I don’t think it’s that people can’t tell the difference between “straight woman” and “bisexual woman married to a man” but just that heteronormativity is so strong, it asks us all the time to put people into the ‘straight’ box whenever we can because it’s common and comfortable.
As to, is there’s any point to coming out... imo ‘coming out’ isn’t one thing or one time. You can be out to some people and not to others. I think if you feel safe and comfortable being out to, for example, friends, or co-workers, or family, or all of the above, and it’s important to you, then it’s worth it. I know what it feels like to be in conversations or casual situations where me being bi is, like, subtly relevant, but no one knows, and how uncomfortable that makes me feel. I fantasize about coming out to more people all the time. I don’t know if everyone can understand this--even all LGBTQ people, and certainly probably not a lot of straight people--but I can say that I do, for what that’s worth.
In other words, I think there’s value to being out that doesn’t have anything to do with ‘now girls will know I want to date them.’ It’s the value of being known. It’s affirming your place in a community, and having the people around you know you’re part of that community, too. It’s being able to make comments about women, for example, if you want, without the comments being read as a joke or like a ‘haha girl crush!’ thing. It’s having your friends/family/acquaintances know that when they talk about LGBTQ issues around you, they’re talking to a person for whom these issues are personal--you’re not all together on the inside talking hypothetically about those ‘other’ people. It’s not feeling like omission is lying.
I’ve never talked to a therapist myself, about anything, so I don’t have any advice about that. It does sound like you want to talk to someone and don’t have anyone irl who’s a good option--so perhaps finding a professional, the right professional, is something to pursue? I definitely don’t think it’s stupid. I understand the fear of biphobia... but I don’t know how one goes about vetting therapists in general, or for this particular flaw.
I have been lucky personally to have two good friends who are also queer-identifying (one has used the terms bi and pan and came out before me, the other is bi and came out after me) and being able to talk to someone about ‘bi stuff’ and know that they understand on a non-hypothetical level is really valuable.
I’m sorry that you feel alone, ignored, and unheard. I see you and hear you.
My inbox is always open if you want to talk again--even if it’s just like a lot of ramble, and I just nod and say “I hear you” and “this is real.” I know I’ve rambled a lot in this reply, but I can try and hold that back.
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bookhobbit · 11 months ago
on the one hand I Get why the message is historically important but on the other hand if I see another rainbow capitalism pride product with LOVE IS LOVE emblazoned on it I'm gonna break a window
I do not want to have to be Just Like Straight People and I do not want my queerness boiled down to The Experience Of Romantic Love
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sociallyawkward--fics · 11 months ago
Also, like, how ballsy do you have to be to have two known ace people in your backseat and sit there and go “I still don’t really think I believe that ace is even a thing,” like bruh, you play at being progressive and like to talk about how you’re so different than my parents, but are you really, in the end????
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