#there’s like 4 people in en who can do that and everyone knows them

[ellionwrites]

If Geto and Gojo were so close, why didn't Geto try to convince Gojo to defect with him?

Because Geto knew that Gojo’s support would guarantee his success, but that success would come at the cost of hurting Gojo.

I believe that Geto cared more about protecting Gojo than he cared about building a better world.

..

Let me explain…

First, let’s talk about why it would’ve made sense for Geto to ask Gojo to join him:

(1) Gojo would’ve been Geto’s most important / most powerful ally

By the time of Geto’s defection, Gojo is already the strongest sorcerer in existence. He and Geto are two of only three special grade sorcerers. Having them both on the same side is essentially an automatic win.

(2) Gojo should’ve been (relatively) easy to persuade

Gojo had already told Geto that he didn't like having to save the weak and didn't care about the moral justifications for it…

…Geto has also seen that Gojo doesn’t always value / protect human life. He was ready to massacre the Time Vessel Association without reason, but ultimately he didn't, because he deferred to Geto's judgement…

…and, most importantly, they are best friends on a DEEP, unparalleled level. Geto is Gojo’s “one and only” best friend.

If Geto was truly dedicated to changing the world order, Gojo should’ve been the first and most important person that he tried to recruit to his insurgency / cult / mission.

BUT

Not only does Geto make zero effort to reach out to / recruit Gojo, he actively avoids him and pushes him away...

- - - - - Keep reading cut - - - - -

After he kills the 112 non-sorcerers, Geto runs into Shoko in Shinjuku. He happily approaches her and willingly answers her questions.

Look at his smiling face in their interactions:

But, when Shoko calls Gojo, Geto leaves before Gojo shows up. Gojo tracks him down anyway and demands an explanation. Geto still doesn’t want to talk about it (“You already heard it.”)

It's strange, right? Geto loves talking about his vision of a better world with everyone else.

Then, there is this confusing progression of dialog:

Geto is hurt/annoyed that Gojo doesn’t believe in him, so he points out that Gojo’s argument against his plan is invalid. The plan is possible (“You could do it”), therefore (according to Gojo’s own logic) it’s not “pointless.”

In a way, Geto is admitting that he knows it would make the most sense for Gojo to join him.

But before Gojo can respond, Geto pivots to saying something extremely hurtful. He's questioning who Gojo is / would be if he wasn't the strongest. Is there really anything more to him? (See more detail in my post here).

Then, in the very next panel Geto turns and starts walking away.

In summary: (1) Geto avoids Gojo, (2) Geto only argues in favor of his plan when Gojo forces/baits him, (3) Upon invalidating Gojo’s opposition to his plan, Geto immediately puts emotional distance between them, (4) Geto then puts physical distance between them.

Why is Geto trying so hard to make sure that Gojo won’t follow him?

Is he just being prideful about doing this on his own? Is he so angry at Gojo's arrogance that he'd jeopardize the success of his life's mission over it?

These arguments aren't in line with Geto's characterization / known motivations (see the end of this post, if you're interested in more on that.)

Geto's main motivation is (a twisted form of) compassion. He wants to end the suffering of sorcerers.

He is a thoughtful, contemplative person, and would've thought about the ramifications of recruiting Gojo.

What are the ramifications?

If Gojo joins the cause, Geto’s plan would succeed, but Gojo would suffer for it.

Like anyone who joins Geto's cult, Gojo would become a pariah / fugitive from Jujutsu society. He’d kill people. He’d kill other sorcerers.

But because Gojo has the singular level of strength/ability to kill non-sorcerers en masse, he would commit the vast majority (or all) of the murder / destruction. The legal, social, and mental impacts would be most severe on Gojo.

(Also, at this point, I think Geto may still question whether he’s made the right choice. It’s difficult to go from a hardline stance on protecting non-sorcerers to wanting to gen0c1de them, within the span of a year, without any lingering ethical qualms. So he may be worried about moral costs to Gojo as well.)

Let’s remember that Geto (canonically) deeply loves Gojo. Gojo is his one and only best friend. Geto worries about Gojo when he overworks himself protecting Riko. Geto is shocked when Toji kills Riko in front of him, but he only flies into a rage when he thinks Toji has killed Gojo. (Again, see my post here for more on how much Geto loves Gojo).

So, it makes sense that Geto is ready to make sacrifices to create a better world, but it’s a cost he’s willing to put on his own head. Not Gojo's.

Ultimately, Geto cares more about Gojo than he cares about achieving the mission he has dedicated his life to.

The last thing Geto says to him is this:

What he's really asking Gojo is: "Have you stopped loving me, now that I've committed myself to this dark path? Would you kill me to save them?"

If Gojo hates Geto enough that he’d kill him, then Geto never had a chance of recruiting Gojo in the first place.

Of course, Gojo can’t make himself hurt Geto. He still loves Geto too much.

Geto protected Gojo by pushing him away.

___

Addendum:

I'll also argue against two other possible explanations for Geto's behavior.

(1) Geto is jealous / prideful /wants to build his own legacy without Gojo stealing the spotlight

Geto has clear motivations for his goals and they’re not egotistical. He wants to end the suffering of sorcerers caused by non-sorcerers’ existence (e.g., Riko’s death, Mimiko & Nanako’s abuse).

Geto’s pride isn’t hurt when Gojo becomes the strongest. The only thing that bothers Geto is that they’re getting sent on separate missions.

After Gojo becomes stronger that him, Geto still has overt affection for Gojo (e.g., he asks Haibara to bring back sweets from his mission so he can share with Gojo).

Although Geto does believe in his superiority over non-sorcerers, he doesn't feel superior over other sorcerers and doesn't struggle with his 'inferiority' to Gojo.

Does Gojo’s lack of faith in Geto’s ability (calling his goal “impossible”), spur Geto to want to prove himself? Yes, probably. But Geto had already been avoiding Gojo before he said that. And I don’t believe that wanting to prove himself to Gojo would overshadow his stronger motivation to build a better world for sorcerers.

(2) He thinks Gojo actually is too moral to join him

After Geto kills the 112 non-sorcerers, Gojo is shocked and upset by what’s happened, but not once does he insult Geto or imply that Geto has done something unforgivable. In fact, he’s practically begging Geto to explain himself because he wants to be able to justify his actions. And, again, Gojo’s argument against Geto’s plan is NOT that “it’s wrong,” it’s that “it’s impossible.”

#This is what I live my life by 100% #I will not be convinced of any other truth #satosugu #jjk #jjk analysis #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x geto #gojo satoru #geto suguru #stsg #gego #goge #satosugu analysis #jjk manga #jjk canon #satosugu canon #jjk meta #satosugu meta #sugusato #my jjk thoughts

[secret-engima]

Kumo Thoughts

So this will hopefully be quick but the most common take I see for Kumo in the Naruto fandom is that it's a overly militaristic hellhole (pardon the language) that kidnaps and forcibly breeds any bloodline it can get its hands on and like.

I get it?

the Naruto ninja world is absolutely messed up enough to accommodate a village like that. Especially with- *waves at Kiri*, *waves at ROOT*, *waves at Ame*, *wa-*. But I feel like personally I think that's. The shallowest take? Like if that's how you wanna world build it! You can! Lots of angst and interesting subterfuge down that way.

But we seen in canon that shinobi who live in Really horrible villages do tend to go missing-nin en masse; Kiri is the poster child for this, but Iwa and Suna both have some ... pretty noticeable defections. On the flip side the only REAL Kumo missing-nin we see, iirc, are the Kinkaku brothers.

From The First Shinobi War.

Like- what are things we know about Kumo *really* from the show/s?

and the one everyone harps on in worldbuilding- they tried to kidnap Hinata and Kushina.

HOWEVER. The rest of the things we know about them are:

2. Their Raikage is allergic to doors. He refuses to acknowledge doors. He can and will smash through any wall, window, or other non-door entity in order to exit or enter a room when at all possible. This is not the behavior of a Strict Rigid Militaristic Man this is the behavior of a feral gorilla someone stuffed in an office and expected to do paperwork. Which, granted, A is fully capable of doing his paperwork, by all accounts he's actually really good at running his village. But again. This man is allergic to doors or manners and anyone who is willing to arm wrestle Senju Tsunade to get medical assistance for his own men can't be all bad let's be real.

3. Killer B exists. I feel like he alone is enough evidence against the "military breeding program hellhole" fanon but to break it down. This "brother" of A is not actually his brother. In canon, B is literally just- *some kid*, AT BEST a cousin of the previous Jinchuuriki but that is not confirmed iirc, that was among several other kids that were all lined up and told "we need a new Jinchuuriki and A needs a fighting buddy, run at this training dummy and see if you can help him decapitate it" and when B was the one who succeeded they went "congrats you're his brother now, here's your complimentary octopus monster". And like everyone just accepts this? Not a SINGLE person calls B as a fake brother or points out that he and A are not actually related. Not to mention B has the strongest and most stable relationship with his Biju until Naruto and Kurama work out their bromance, and B was rocking that friendship with his biju *years* before Naruto even knew Kurama was a Thing That Existed.

4. B is also beloved by his village. BELOVED. The people adore him and his weird rapping nonsense. And yeah there's flashbacks in the anime to that not being the case when he was first introduced but B was actually able to work on changing their minds. You really think "small feral child rapping at civilians to make them warm up to him" would have flown in Kiri? In Iwa who canonically keep abusing their jinchuuriki to the point of running off? Nope. No sir. B is also allowed to have a team of his own, and seems to not only be an accepted member of the village but also a much trusted and beloved one who is even allowed his own team? Even Konoha doesn't have that good a track record lbr. It took Naruto face punching the guy who just committed genocide on the entire village for Konoha to go "you know what? We like you now".

5. One of the only other jinchuuriki we see that has fully mastered their Biju state and is on good terms with their Biju while also not being a missing-nin (or brainwashed and then immediately dead) is ALSO a Kumo ninja. Namely the holder of the Two Tails. Now on the wiki it says that she was put through a "detestable" training program but we all know how inconsistent Kishi is with... everything worldbuilding ever. And if we go off behavior alone from the brief scenes with her, Yugito Nii is?? Really stable??? And solid with her Biju??? She gave her pawprint for an Uchiha child's book of cat paw prints for crying out loud.

6. throughout the entire show, Jinchuuriki are consistently treated as the lowest class citizens. In basically every village. Naruto in Konoha, Kushina cried when she realized Minato was going to make Naruto a Jinchuuriki and put him through what she went through growing up as one so you know she didn't have a great time either, GAARA is his own entire dissertation on Jinchuuriki treatment and stability, Fuu was raised by the village leader of her village but had zero friends and was canonically super lonely and isolated, Han and Roku straight up ran away from Iwa because of whatever they were put through, a maneuver only repeated in another village by Utakata from Kiri. But in Kumo we find two jinchuuriki who have mastered their biju, are well respected by their peers and fellow citizens, and are basically treated like any other really weirdo ninja from the village barring needing to be monitored with bodyguards in B's case, which is mostly because he keeps running away to go train under rap artists so you can understand why A is ready to go frothing at the mouth feral at his brother sometimes.

All I'm saying is that if even the village's "monsters" are treated that way, why does everyone stick with the fanon that they're a breeding, bloodline stealing hellhole?

Imo it would be WAY more fun to world build Kumo as the feral mountain ninja-mandalorians of the Elemental Nations, who have a reputation for bloodline theft because they keep finding Actual Strays, Refugees from other villages, and Illegitimate bloodline children and going: YO ANYONE GONNA ADOPT THIS? and not waiting for an answer. Your a missing ninja from Kiri and you're fed up with both them and missing-nin life and want to come work for us? Great. Oh you also have a valuable kekkei genkai that can be inherited? Awesome have you heard of our red light district and child support program or better yet our tax deductible program for marrying one of our lovely civilians and raising a family here where no bloodline purges will ever happen ever. Oh you're a stray Uzumaki on the run from bloodline hunters? Well we may have been involved in destroying Uzushio (depends on your fan interpretation since canonically we do not know which villages did that other than Not Konoha) but we also have hot food, good housing, high ninja standards of living, and free weekly entertainment in betting when our Raikage is going to launch his desk at his brother like a high speed missile because B's rapping got too cringy.

Let Hinata's and Kushina's kidnapping either be the exception to their usual playbook of how they acquire bloodlines (hey it's not their fault if the other villages can't keep it in their pants/can't inspire loyalty) OR have it be seen, culturally in Kumo, as something more akin to a rescue mission. Yes these two girls are useful and have useful bloodlines, that's tactically wise, but also have you SEEN how Konoha treats their jinchuuriki? They have seal master princess and are treating her like a dog on a leash! And literally everyone knows what the Hyuuga do to their own kids if they aren't main branch, and we can't rescue any of those kids without their eyeballs exploding and them dying but hey we can snag the heiress and then any kids she has won't have to be branded so-.

Like I feel that would be so much more INTERESTING? Instead of having Konoha be the only "nice" village and make this weird tonal dissonance for how the "nice" village has the most incompetent leadership (Sarutobi) and underground atrocities (Danzo and Orochimaru) while every other village is Horrible All The Time For Everyone why not have Kumo be actually Really Functional and treat their shinobi and Jinchuuriki well and their horrible reputation is *mostly* (not entirely, because. Ninja.) be cultural clashes between the feral mountain ninja and Everyone Else and propaganda from the other villages who would like their shinobi to STOP DEFECTING TO KUMO PLEASE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY HAVE DENTAL.

Seriously I feel like there is so much more you could do with that angle than just "yet another shinobi village that is Bad and Awful and Needs The Power of Friendship yet somehow has this really stupid goofy jinchuuriki man who loves his brother and his village shut up don't think about it".

#Secret Engima Rambles #naruto #naruto worldbuilding #ninja economics #naruto economics #kumo #naruto kumo #long post

[fractiflos]

Here's some ideas for Heroes Week!

And here's the link to the idea list I did. You can also use these any future fics (or drawings).

Hikage leads his fellow vestiges (except they're alive here) on a weekend camping trip. We can only imagine the chaos

In honor of Third's name reveal he has to be the victim of some AU where the original work stars a guy named Bruce. Or put into the outfit of a guy named Bruce.

All For One gets turned into a rabbit and Yoichi finds him, thinks he's an ordinary rabbit, and takes him home to where he lives with Second. He then suffers having to watch his brother live a happy romantic life with coral head. Naturally, he tries to communicate who he really is to Yoichi, who remains oblivious. Unfortunately, Second picks it up instead. Shenanigans ensue.

The same AFO hates his brother's boyfriend(s) stuff, blah blah blah, except... AFO isn't Yoichi's brother.

It's En's birthday and nobody has any idea what to get him. They all scramble to get a good gift and learn a lot about him on the way.

AFO is the owner of Cat Yoichi. He's one of those super annoying rich cat owners who brags about their purebred cat and how he only gives him *Expensive food brand that's actually really good which makes him even more annoying* and stuff like that. Cat Yoichi is very much an indoors cat, but only because AFO wants him to be. If he had his way, he'd be outside exploring all day. Meanwhile, Second and Third are alley cats starving for food. They see Yoichi living a good life and scheme to try and get in.

Some sort of farming game AU. I say Animal Crossing, but that's only because it's the only farming game I have played. Hikage enjoys his peaceful life maintaining his vegetable garden, only for a ridiculously loud neighbor (Banjo) to choose to put his house right next to his. And for added fun, Toshinori is the mayor of One for All Isle

Nana competes in a cooking competition.

You know all those jokes about men figuring out they're going to have a kid because they start making dad jokes and stuff? Okay, now imagine that All Might starts doing that after he meets Midoriya... And AFO notices the sudden dad behavior.

AFO messes up while cutting his brother's hair and Yoichi has too try and hide it.

Genderbend! I put this on the last one, but I haven't seen a lot of genderbent 4-7 so I'm putting it here too.

According to the wiki, Banjo shaved his head. What circumstances would lead up to that?

It's almost Christmas which means it's time for the MISTLETOE TRAP TROPE!

Yoichi sees what a great match Inko would be for the Eighth and ropes everyone else into helping them get together. To make up for her being unfortunate enough to marry his brother.

Something for the Vault Breakers ship! Yoichi is losing his mind trying to get the two together, because no matter what, they seem to think any romance-like actions come from friendship. "You two SHOWER together?" "Well yeah, we're saving money." "You KISS each other?!" "Of course, we do, we're best friends."

Referring back to a certain birthday post I once made, Hikage is a librarian in a small village who fights back when an evil CEO tries to destroy the forest the village is built on.

Users 1-8 are turned into animals (you pick which) and Izuku is forced to take care of them.

There has to be a classic trope in here: Yoichi is struggling to make ends meet as he tries to achieve his dream of becoming a manga writer. There's no way he's going to his brother, but he needs money and fast. He decides to get a second job at the coffee shop next door to his apartment, and ends up serving some very interesting people. Including a mysterious (and handsome) spiky-haired man.

To refer to a meme I once made, En, Banjo, and Hikage babysit little Izuku.

Villain Second and Third.

I forgot to put this on the last one, but please tag me if you do use any of these. I want to see it!

#yoichi shigaraki #second one for all holder #third one for all holder #hikage shinomori #daigoro banjo #en mha #nana shimura #yagi toshinori #midoriya izuku

[hooked-on-elvis]

"Really, believe me, I'm Elvis Presley"

Can you imagine a time when Elvis was not famous just yet and people kinda ignored him?

Of course we know he wasn't famous his whole life but it's so impressive knowing about a time when people saw him face to face and couldn't care less. I invite you on reading about a few of these moments. There's my personal written in here and also - properly credited - info and text from the website Elvis Australia and Mr. Alfred Wertheimer's accounts on moments shared side by side to Elvis in 1956. Here we go!

"Those are words the King probably never had to use again. But on this train ride to Memphis from New York, the two young woman didn't believe who he was. So Elvis pointed to Alfred Wertheimer, and asked the girls why he'd have a photographer taking his picture on a train if he wasn't Elvis Presley. Good point! The girls then seemed to believe him, but still turned down an invitation to his concert at Memphis' Russwood Station July 4th 1956. This photo is either july 3 or July 4, 1956."

Text from: https://www.elvispresleymusic.com.au/pictures/1956-july-3.html | Recollections by photographer Alfred Wertheimer.

July 4th, 1956 - Elvis during a stop at Sheffield Alabama. Elvis ordered chicken and snack cakes - Photo by Alfred Wertheimer.

What a shot! Elvis is looking at the camera, everyone else is looking at the food. No one is paying any attention to Elvis! Guess the folks didn't know they were buying chicken a la king. Text from: https://www.elvispresleymusic.com.au/pictures/1956-july-3.html

July 4, 1956 - Elvis at Chattanooga train station. This is (most certainly) the moment we talk about below.

Another example Mr. Wertheimer mentioned on being around Elvis and how he was still not quite famous yet by mid 1956, which may bothered him someway - or at least kept him anxious, hopeful and working hard to achieve his goals, is this:

Q: What was your relationship with Elvis like? Alfred: I used him and he used me in a symbiotic way. You see, he was almost at the point where he was being recognized as a national star, but not quite. I'll give you an example. Once, in a railroad station in Chattanooga, Tennessee, we were waiting to change trains. Elvis went over to a magazine rack and picked up a movie magazine. He found a photo of himself inside and says to me 'Al, can I have a pen?' I gave him one and he scribbled his name inside the magazine. Then he goes over to the two girls working at the magazine rack. He had the spread open to his picture, showing it to them. He's also looking back at me with a huge Cheshire Cat grin. Their reaction was 'That'll be 35 cents sir'. (laughing) Elvis said to them 'No, this is for you. I'm Elvis Presley'. Finally the girls agree that it is. In the meantime, I'm capturing pictures of all of this, which is really what Elvis wanted. He knew one day that he would be very famous, and he wanted to capture on film these kinds of moments.

Source: https://www.elvis.com.au/presley/interview-with-photographer-alfred-wertheimer.shtml | Published: August 12, 2023 | Alfred Wertheimer's accounts on Elvis. Note: I recommend you read the full interview.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway… That was only normal, given the circumstances but still impressive! Soon, not long after that, Elvis Aaron Presley, the Tupelo country boy, the former truck driver, was "ELVIS PRESLEY, the King of Rock and Roll", and he had all the attention he always hoped for. And it never ceased. Not even death could do anything to stop him from being adored. If he only knew... ♥

1. April 19, 1960 - Elvis greets fans from train door at T&P station in Fort Worth on layover en route to film 'GI Blues' in Hollywood. 2. Backstage in Toronto, ON on April 2, 1957 - Elvis canadian fans

1972.

1956.

#elvis presley #elvis the king #elvis fans #elvis fandom #50s elvis #elvis #elvis history #elvis and alfred wertheimer #1956 #alfred wertheimer #elvis photos

[volturiwolf]

Ker si en delček vzela s seboj - Bojan x fem!musician!reader - part 1

A/N: Sentences/words written in italics are in their native languages, or to emphasize a few things.

A/N 2: AI was mostly used to write the lyrics, I changed a few things.

A/N 3: Not everything is accurate/according to what actually happened. Many things are made up, like this story.

A/N 4: This story and the way the characters play out have nothing to do with the real people. This is an imaginary story, in an imaginary world, with imaginary situations.

This series contains explicit/mature/adult content (use of drugs and alcohol, explicit material, swearing, etc).

“But I got my power in my hand / You hold no power over me

And I’ll take my flowers while I can / So let the love shower over me”

Dilja’s song had to be one of my favorite but most underrated songs of this year’s competition. She was not even 21,5 and her voice was pure power. She was performing right after us, so I got to watch her from the side, as soon as we got off stage because I didn’t want to miss a thing.

“Hey, (Y/N). Come on, everyone went back in the box.” Alex nudged me a bit to get my attention.

The ‘box’ wasn’t a box per se; it was a designated area for all the Eurovision acts to hang out during the Barcelona pre-party, surrounded by fans, other contestants, and past contestants. It had soft sofas, and tables full of snacks and drinks. Thank God, because I was already feeling my feet hurting from all the sightseeing we did yesterday.

“Give me a sec. She’s almost done.” I was moving around on my own, trying to be as respectful as I could during Dilja’s performance. 

Once she finished, I clapped along with the audience and waited for her as she walked off stage to give her a congratulatory hug. We walked towards the box to meet the others as ‘Wild Youth’ was ready to take the stage.

It was only the first of the ESC Pre-Parties but we were all lucky to stay in the same hotel, so I got to meet the others in the hotel lobby two days ago. Our band, ‘Kitty Revival’, which was representing Greece, arrived a few days before the others, so we had some time to explore the city on our own.

I hadn’t been here in almost 9 years (tomorrow, it would be 9 years actually) and I was excited to see all the places I didn’t get to see when I was here on my last-year school trip.

Dilja and I got along from the beginning and got to do some sightseeing together. My sister also came along as she was the only one who spoke Spanish and I had once promised her to take her to Barcelona sometime in the future. She was only a year older than Dilja so they had a few things in common - more than Dilja and I actually.

Until now, I had met all of the acts at the pre-party, and I had made some friends - mostly Dilja, Mae, Iru, and Joker Out. Most of them were younger than me, but we still had a lot to talk about, like living the whole Eurovision experience - or at least, part of it.

Greece hadn't been participating in the pre-parties, but I really wanted to take the chance. It didn’t only mean song promotion, but also PR and getting to know the other participants. We practically had to beg the Greek delegation to let us participate in the pre-parties because they actually thought we shouldn’t. 

As Dilja went to sit next to Mae, I went to sit next to my bandmate, Alkmini “Mini”, but Jan from JO quickly took over the seat. I raised my brow at him, but he just shrugged and pointed towards his old seat, next to Bojan, his bandmate.

I turned towards Mini. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

She simply nodded and I went to sit next to Bojan. The Slovenians had already performed first out of everyone else, so he was now stretching comfortably, but the moment he saw me, he moved a bit to make some space for me. “Thanks”, I murmured, hoping he’d hear it.

“You were amazing out there!”, Bojan tried to speak over Ireland’s song but he ended up screaming a tad too loud, trying to sneak his arm around me. Thankfully, I was used to the loudness and didn’t mind, but his arm made my heart race involuntarily.

I turned towards him to watch him smiling brightly, looking dazed and mesmerized, making me wonder how many drinks he had already. I could already see that Kris - who usually looked very mature for being the youngest one - was on the verge of being wasted already, screaming and dancing around. And we weren't even at the actual party that was gonna be just us.

Bojan was a natural flirt and could mesmerize anyone - I got that from the very first moment we met, and I wasn’t going to deny that he was so good-looking, and how he was slowly but surely making me let my guard down.

I leaned towards his ear. “How many drinks did you have already? We still have a long way to go until the end of the night. We still have an actual party to go to later"

“I had a few. Don’t worry. I can handle my alcohol.” His breath was tickling my ear, and I felt goosebumps as he laughed with himself. I couldn't help but smile at him.

He went on to talk about all the places they visited with his bandmates, the 'Wild Youth' and the ‘Sudden Lights’ guys today; some of which I had already visited. He kept telling me that he was 'too excited' to see all these amazing places and practice his Spanish with the locals.

"Though I wish you could come with us, as well. I mean you…your bandmates and you. Not you, you, as in you, (Y/N). You know what I mean?" Bojan was laughing awkwardly, trying to deal with his sudden embarrassment.

"I know. I wish we could come with you guys, but my bandmates insisted that we had some extra rehearsals for today. It's the first time we play outside of our usual area range, and everybody's kind of nervous about the whole thing. We mostly had people who speak Greek listening to our music and coming to our gigs, so this is totally different."

Bojan let out a giggle that made my heart thrill. "I totally get what you mean. Don't worry about anything. Your guitar skills are magija, magic, and your song is really good. I love hearing it. I love hearing you sing. Even if it's only in the back." Bojan moved a little closer at this point.

I didn't know how to feel about him at that moment. I wanted to lean closer to him, but it felt a bit out-of-character for me, and not entirely appropriate, given the time and place. I gave him an awkward thumbs-up and excused myself before I acted out of instinct that should not come to the surface.

I walked in front of Mini and gave her a signal to follow me. We walked to the bathroom, where it was significantly quieter than the box or the pit. I could think better here where I wasn’t overwhelmed with sounds, feelings, touches, and smells.

“Your cheeks are a tad red. You're flustered. What happened?” Mini had a talent for knowing how I felt without me saying a word, so there was no point in hiding the truth from her. We have been playing in the same band for over a decade now, so it made sense that she learned to “read” me well, even when I wasn’t trying to show any emotion.

“I think Bojan is flirting with me? Or not? I cannot really get him. He seems flirty with everyone - without actually flirting, you know? - but he’s more…expressive to me? He has confused me.” Maybe I was exasperating but the Slovene made me feel…things already, and I didn’t want to be just me, imagining things that weren’t there.

“Well, I do think he’s acting 'flirty' with you. And many others. But he hasn’t been like that with me, or Alex, or Dimi, or Stef. Just you from the band.”

“So? What do you think?”

“I honestly don’t know. Was he like that on the first day? When we went sightseeing?”

I tried to think of yesterday when we got into the mini-tour bus the party organizers booked for us and went around the town with Joker Out, Wild Youth, Sudden Lights, Tvorchi, Iru, Dilja, and Mae. We started early in the morning so we'd have enough time to see everything.

I was supposed to sit with the girls in the last row, but it was already taken by Jure, Jan, Conor, Andrii, and Jimoh. So, now we all had to split.

Iru and Mae sat together, and Dilja sat with my sister; Ed decided to sit next to our tour guide, with Callum and David close by.

I wasn’t annoyed by that; I was going to sit with Mini either way, but, at the last minute, she chose to sit with Dimi, leaving Alex and Stef to sit together. Okay, I would sit on my own - no issue with that.

Okay, I was annoyed; it reminded me of my school years, being the last one to get selected for anything. I couldn’t wait for the bus to start, so I wouldn’t have to think about being alone, not being chosen, and such, even if it wasn't supposed to be for long.

Against my initial thoughts, I felt someone sit next to me. I pretended I didn’t notice, but then they tapped my shoulder and I had to turn to look at them. To my surprise, it was Bojan who sat next to me.

I raised my glasses to look at him better. “What happened? Did your band abandon you, too?”

He looked around the bus, pointing at Kris and Nace who sat diagonal from us, in the front. “You could say that. They sat in pairs and I was left out. I hope you don't mind me sitting with you. I had nowhere else to sit."

So, he didn't choose to sit with me. It was just a convenience. "Yeah, no problem. Don't mind me." I turned around to look outside of the window; I really wished I had my headphones with me at that moment, but I left them in my hotel room.

Part of me was trying to focus on watching the city as we drove through it, but the other part of me was trying to decipher what Bojan was doing right beside me, without actually having to turn around and look at him.

“Hey, um…(Y/N), right?” Bojan spoke up and I had to turn around again.

“Yeah. And you’re Bojan. Bojan Cvjetićanin, right?” I raised an eyebrow at him. I thought he heard my name yesterday when we introduced ourselves to each other.

“Yeah.” He smiled widely. “I didn’t expect you or anyone to remember my last name actually.” He chuckled awkwardly.

“I remember everyone’s full name. Part of having an acoustic encoding and a photographic memory.”

“Oh, nice. So, (Y/N), speaking of photographic memory, do you know where we are going? I didn’t have time to look at our program.”

The program was given to us, specifically to know when and what we would do each day!

"Well, they'll drive us up to Montjuïc Hill first, so we can see the city from above. We'll visit the castle and then they'll drive us to the Botanical Gardens, then to Anella Olímpica, which is actually near the venue where the party with the fans will take place. Then, we'll visit the Spanish Village, then Parc Güell, and then, back to the city center. They'll leave us at Barri Gòtic, the gothic neighborhood and we have free time to visit whatever we want. I'll go to the Picasso Museum, Casa Battló, Casa Amatller, Casa Malagrida, and I'll have to find a way to go to Sagrada Familia, otherwise, I see myself unable to walk in the near future. Lunch is at 5 o'clock. The meeting point is Plaça de Catalunya, which is actually close to where we're having tomorrow's private party."

"Do they say what kind of lunch are we having?"

"They mention 'traditional Spanish cuisine', so I assume tapas, paella, gazpacho, and such."

"Oh, okay. I hope they got the memo about Nace on time."

I thought about it for a moment. "He shouldn’t eat gluten, right?”

“Yeah..? How do you know about that?”

“Because I cannot eat dairy and sugar, so I had to email them beforehand to let them know. So they sent me the menu to choose feasible options and let me know that there would also be gluten-free options for ‘another contestant’ with intolerance, just in case I had any other dietary restrictions. And I actually shouldn’t eat gluten because of my thyroid, but there aren’t enough gluten-free options in Greece, so...”

I just realized I started talking too much again and I stopped before I embarrassed myself more than I had already, but Bojan was looking at me…fascinated. His eyes were on me and he was perked up, waiting for me to continue my narration, but I thought that he hadn’t talked at all yet.

“So, have you ever been to Barcelona before?”

“As a band, no. Only Jure has never been here before. I was actually born here but we moved back to Slovenia when I was little, although I think I know a few Spanish but only now do I get the chance to speak with someone who actually speaks the language, you know? What about you? Have you?”

“Actually yeah, I have been to Barcelona before, but like almost nine years ago. Last-year school trip. We call it ‘triti lykeiou’, the third of high school. So it’s been some time, and even then, we didn’t get to see everything, or at least things that I wished we could see, like the inside of Sagrada Familia or the Picasso Museum.”

We continued talking for most of the time, from the moment we sat together on the bus till the moment we went back to the hotel, as Bojan became one of my ‘fellow travelers’ for the day, along with the rest of Joker Out, my band, and my sister. Bojan turned out to be a very pleasant person to talk to; it felt like I was talking to an old friend - effortless, familiar, meaningful. He was the most sociable and chatty out of all JO members, though, at times, I appreciated Jan’s more quiet company.

“I don’t know. Really. He was talkative, friendly. He may have seemed flirty and all that, but maybe it’s his way of communicating with others. Every time I try to speak with someone, they think I come out as flirting with them when I don’t. Maybe that’s just Bojan.” I shrugged, not caring to talk about it further.

“Okay. So, do you actually want to pee or…? We have been here for some time. The boys will be worried.”

“You can go back if you want. I’ll pee and I’ll be back shortly.”

I was quickly done, but stayed in the bathroom for a few more minutes, going through the photos I took yesterday. Bojan was in at least 90% of the group photos. He was obviously very photogenic, and he looked so smiley and happy. I took photos of every single one of our tour group, but Bojan would constantly find a way to get in, photobombing everyone’s photos.

I caught myself smiling, and I couldn’t deny that he was the reason I was currently smiling and silently laughing on my own. Going to his Instagram, I immediately saw he had uploaded on his stories and I was too curious not to click.

He had mainly reposted some videos from the Joker Out's official Instagram account with today's meet and greet, fans' photos, them getting ready for the pre-party, and a few short videos of them 'partying' before the audience pre-party. 

And then, there was a video of my band playing on stage, but going through the video, it was mostly focused on me playing my guitar. It was…different, seeing myself through Bojan's eyes; the way his camera was moving from my guitar to my face, watching my 'concentrated' look.

I felt myself getting hot and my cheeks burning again. I felt a pain in my stomach - not sharp per se, but it was enough to make me notice it, accompanied by a light headache. I was pretty sure that it wasn't because of the few drinks I had; I could only attribute it to the tiredness of the past couple of days. I hadn't eaten well because I was embarrassed to eat in front of the others, and yesterday was slightly too hot outside. 

I leaned against the wall, trying to take a breath, but I knew I just needed to sit down and everything would be okay. I exited the bathroom as calmly as I could and went back to the box to find a place to sit. 

My seat next to Bojan was now taken by Mae, who was laughing loudly and enjoying herself, sliding her hand over Bojan's toned arm. I felt a bite of jealousy and sadness in my heart. Of course, there would be others interested in Bojan.

Bojan himself was smiling back at her while drinking from his champagne glass. He was having fun, and he seemed as interested in her as she was in him. The pain in my stomach became sharper now, but I didn't want to let others know how I felt, so I quietly took a seat on Alex's lap, as I usually did.

Alex wrapped his arms around my waist out of instinct - that's what we always did; that's how we all acted with each other in the band. We were all very open with each other, to the point we would even walk around naked when we were staying in the same hotel room or tour bus or each other's house if we felt like it. It wasn't forced; we were just comfortable with being close and intimate with each other.

They were all currently discussing possible places to tour in the summer if we got good feedback from the competition and the audience.

"What do you say, (Y/N/N)? Where would you like to go this summer?" Alex spoke calmly.

"Ideally, on vacation." Everyone snorted laughingly. "But if I had to choose, I'd say ask the people where they want us and we can go on from there. See if there's a way to arrange something."

"I guess that would be the most fair thing to do. Since we don't know where we stand with the people's view in this competition."

They all nodded, agreeing, before going back to talking about food. I sighed, trying to forget that I hadn't eaten anything since yesterday night, and snuggled my head in the crook of Alex's neck.

"Tough day?" Alex whispered as the others continued talking to each other.

"Tough day, you don't say anything." I was close with all the guys in the band, but Alex was more understanding and easier to talk to.

Alex glanced at me rubbing my tummy. "You're not on your period, right? That was last week?" 

"No, it's not that. It's…" I looked towards Bojan and Mae, not so discreetly may I say, so Alex caught up quickly.

"Ha." He paused for a few seconds. "You're jealous. Who is it this time? Bojan or Mae?" I was open to my friends about my sexuality, but I never talked about it to others because I never had to or wanted to explain myself.

"Bojan. I don't know, Alex. I don't want to be just another participant thirsting over another one. Or be one of the people thirsting over him. I don't want to risk approaching him, only to be rejected. I'm tired of that."

Alex kissed me on my cheek and rubbed his nose against it. "I don't want to tell you what to do and what not to do, (Y/N). But I will tell you that we all take risks in our lives. We took a risk by being here, exposing ourselves to millions. If it's a risk worth taking, you should take the chance." He paused for a second. "And for what is worth, I think he may also be jealous now."

"How do you know that?"

"I've been glancing at him this whole time, and he hasn't stopped looking toward us. If looks could kill, I'd be chopped right now."

I turned my head to look at Bojan's side, and I saw he was already looking at us, mouth agape, and eyes wide open. We kept looking at each other for just a few seconds until he stood up and went away, probably towards the bathroom or somewhere else.

Could it be that he thought Alex and I were dating and he got jealous? No, no way. Bojan had a much too interesting life if I were to say so, looking through his social, to even care if I was with someone or not. Every participant was charmed by the Slovenian golden retriever. Everyone loved him. He had too many options to care about me and my life.

And he may have seemed interested yesterday, but today he was talking, drinking, and flirting with everyone like he was in his natural environment. I just had to forget all the things he made me feel, even for a day or two, and continue being civil with him because we had over 1 and a half months ahead of us until all this was over and we went back to our usual lives.

Though it was easier said than done, as, no matter how much I tried to avoid him over the next week during the Polish pre-party - unless it was a group activity or obligation, he always managed to be there somehow. 

Was it a last-minute meet and greet with local fans before the pre-party? He somehow was close by, with the rest of his bandmates, probably having 'decided' to make a sudden meet-up of their own in the same area we did.

I tried not to notice how flirty and handsy he was with everyone, especially Noa when she showed up at the Israeli pre-party. She wasn't sent to perform, but as Israel hosted the pre-party, she must have been assigned as our co-hostess and presenter for the night.

I didn't know Noa was Bojan's soft spot, his weakness, until I saw a random post on Twitter, dated 2 months ago. It was uploaded by the official Joker Out account on Twitter, featuring Bojan. Noa was his weakness - his ‘weak point’, to be exact.

Now it made perfect sense why he seemed so infatuated with her and was pretty much following her around the whole night, except for when he had to go on stage and perform. And even then, he personally thanked Noa for her hospitality and how amazing and organized the party was.

I was really trying not to think of all that, not to think that the man I liked was flirting, touching, and partying with everyone else but me. I tried not to think that he could be going to bed with someone else, especially not me.

And then came Jere, going by the alias 'Käärijä'. And he was cute and kind and funny. And they immediately clicked with Bojan and they started spending as much time as they could together. And I would hang out with my bandmates, Iru, and Mae, and now also Alessandra, Alika, Teya, Salena, the 'Vesna' girls, and Elen, who went by the stage name 'Brunette'.

But it wasn't the same as it was that one day with Bojan, and though I was happy for him seemingly having found someone who actually made him happy, I couldn't help myself from wishing I was that someone.

Nevertheless, I tried to have as much fun as I could, without thinking of him or anyone else. And I did have fun, partying, singing, playing guitar, and going out with the other contestants, even Joker Out.

I was acting like nothing bothered me, and I was getting pretty good at it. In public. Because every time we got back to our hotel rooms, I fell into the abyss of my loneliness.

When we had a free day before the Amsterdam pre-party, everyone else went out, getting to know the city by night, but I decided to stay in my room, feeling too tired - emotionally - to have fun.

Lying in my bed, in my short, pink and wine-red nightgown, strumming my acoustic guitar, and humming, occasionally gulping some of the wine Mini bought a day ago, trying to find a new music or line for how I felt at the moment.

It wasn't usually hard to write a paragraph or two because it was usually a collective job, but I wasn't as emotionally charged before as I was now. Though, when I started strumming the chords, the lyrics started writing themselves.

You get on with life as that shy boy,

You're an adorable kinda person.

You like singing and playing hooky.

You like to contemplate life.

But when you start to daydream,

Your mind turns straight to him.

Sometimes I look at you and I look into your eyes,

I notice the way you think about him with a smile,

Curved lips you just can't disguise.

But you think it's singing making your life worthwhile.

Why is it so hard for you to decide which you love more?

Singing or living?

You like to use words about life.

But when you stop talking,

Your mind turns straight to him.

You like to hang out with me.

But when left alone,

Your mind turns straight back to him.

You hate crying and confrontation.

But you just think back to him,

And you're happy once again.

Oh, God. It was as soppy as it could get. But I bet Alex and Stef could probably make something good out of it. I wasn't good at the final editing and corrections, but I was good at laying all my emotions on the table and coming up with a rough layout of a possible song. 

A rough knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. I checked the time on my phone. 01:36. Oh, no. I must have been too loud and someone got mad and came to complain.

I quickly and quietly tiptoed towards the door, waiting to be screamed at, for playing guitar at that time. I should have remembered that not everyone staying here was a Eurovision participant, and we were randomly put in our rooms. And it was probably late for some people.

Opening the door, I came face to face with a rather distressed Bojan. My heart fell at the sight of him. His hair was ruffled and stuck out all over the place. The dark circles under his eyes were more prominent than before, and his whole face was sunk.

"Hey, Bojan." I spoke quietly, aware now of how late it actually was. "What are you doing here? I thought you guys went out?"

He pointed into the room, and I took it as if he wanted to come in, so I took a step back to let him in. He walked heavily towards the small couch near the window, and let himself plop heavily into it.

We didn't speak for a few minutes, and the room felt heavy with awkwardness. I didn't know if I should speak or let him speak and explain why he was here at that time. I decided to break the tension.

"Hey, Bojan? Do you want me to bring you something to drink? Or eat? I have water, orange juice, cranberry juice, maybe some Greek koulourakia?"

He raised his eyes to look at me. His eyes were literally lost as if he was drinking heavily and managed to drive off somewhere he didn't know how he got there.

I took it as a signal to go through Mini and I's shared suitcase, and pick up a few things: a small pack of tsourekakia, a pack of oregano chips, an almond chocolate, and a can of Greek mountain tea from the fridge.

I placed them in Bojan's lap but he kept looking at me with those empty, lost eyes. "Eat up. You look like shit."

He let out a snort, smirking, as he awkwardly started opening the chips first. He snacked for a few minutes, occasionally closing his eyes, either out of pleasure or tiredness, I didn't know which one.

I looked at him closely, taking in his every perfect, little expression. He looked so small and fragile as he chugged down the oregano chips, like a little kid enjoying his afternoon snack. He saw me looking at him and offered me some of the chips.

"Thank you, but I can't eat them. They have milk powder in them." He shook his head and continued snacking.

He finished up and took the pack of tsourekakia in his hands, carefully examining the pack to understand what those were.

"They're like a small version of tsoureki, a Greek sweet-like bread which we eat as a snack, or sweet, or dessert. These have hazelnut praline in."

He shook his head again, as he opened the bag and grabbed one, throwing one in his mouth. The second he bit into it, his eyes rolled over his head, and I laughed at how much he enjoyed it. 

I grabbed the can of tea and opened it before offering it back to him. "To balance the sweetness."

Our fingers brushed each other's, and it felt like it was forever ago when I last touched Bojan. I couldn't help my need to stare at him forever. His chocolatey eyes sparked even more now than they usually did, probably because of the alcohol in the man's system.

Out of a sudden, he grabbed my free hand and pulled me into his lap. I was so shocked and taken aback, that I could only look at him with wide eyes. Thankfully, he didn't spill any tea on us or the couch, because it would have been awkward to explain how the sofa and the rug underneath were stained with cold tea.

I noticed my nightgown had risen a bit, so I quickly pulled it down before my underwear was shown. Bojan wrapped one arm around me, while the other started moving up my thigh and below my nightgown, where I tried to cover myself up. My heart literally skipped a beat under his touch and our close contact.

We could only stare at each other. I was scared of doing anything that he may misunderstand and he was a bit too cautious to do or say anything. Or so I thought because he leaned forward, towards me. I didn't move, partially because I was frozen and partially because I'd been wanting to be in this position with Bojan since Barcelona.

His lips brushed against mine, nibbling my lower lip enough to make my heartbeat skyrocket. I wanted to give in but I quickly realized that Bojan wasn't actually in his right mind and it wasn't okay to take advantage of his loose state. So, I pulled away and pushed myself out of his embrace. He tried to resist but he was weaker in his drunk state.

"Bojan, I think you should go to your room now. You're drunk, you're not thinking straight, and you may start doing things you will most likely regret in the morning."

"I would never regret kissing you. Not in a million years. Not when that's the one thing I wanted to do from the moment I met you." He spoke for the first time tonight, his voice coarse and intoxicating.

I couldn't deny that I thought he was a bit obnoxious at first; he seemed too happy, and excited, and bouncy to be real. But when I actually got to meet and talk to him, he seemed down-to-earth, and lovely, and loveable.

"I'll be honest with you. I wanted to kiss you since that day in Barcelona when we spoke for the whole day. But I know it, and you know it too, that you have to come to your senses, and if you still feel the same, we'll talk about it sometime in the future, okay? Now you'll have to go to your room before our friends come back."

Bojan tried to stand up with wobbly legs but fell back on the couch. I facepalmed myself, knowing that getting him to stand up and go to his room, two floors above me, would be extremely difficult, even with using the elevator.

"What if…", he mumbled, "...I stay here for tonight? Please?" He gave me his best, doe-like, pleading eyes, knowing exactly where to aim to convince me.

I sighed, not wanting or being in the mood to argue with him. I looked at the oversized bed and tried to make some calculations for how we were gonna fit properly.

"Okay, but I won't be giving up the whole bed. I'm older and sensitive. We'll both sleep as far as possible from each other, capisci?"

"Si, signora." Bojan smiled brightly, and my heart beat faster. I swore that man would be the death of me. Was I too old at 26 to die over a younger man?

Bojan extended his arms towards me, expecting me to help him get to bed. I took a deep breath to calm my rising temper and walked over to him. I grabbed him from the waist, slowly pulling him up, and he put as much weight as he could on me.

Lucky for me, the bed wasn't too far away. Because Bojan, though considered short for a man, was about 10 centimeters taller than me, and he was both muscular and curvy, just my type. Pulling him up would be a bit easier if I wasn't feeling under the weather, because of my upcoming period.

I managed to get him to bed safely, lifting his legs to lie down, and pushing him a bit towards the middle, scared that he was gonna fall off at some point. I noticed he had his eyes closed already, and he was breathing heavily, so I assumed he had fallen asleep already.

I went back to the shared suitcase and got some painkillers, then grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, and placed them in the nightstand beside him. I personally never had a hangover because I always knew I couldn't handle alcohol at all, so I only drank in moderation. But I knew how awful a terrible headache can make you feel for the whole day forward.

I covered him with a blanket, as it was a bit chilly, even in the seemingly warm hotel. Bojan looked so peaceful, like a little angel, slightly smiling in his sleep. I took a picture in my mind and a picture in my phone, to forever remember that moment.

It was only then that I noticed I had a text message from Mini. I left my phone on silent mode so I never heard the text sound. "We're coming in 20. Do you want us to bring you something?" Sent 12 minutes ago.

It was a bit too late to text them. They would probably not see it on time. I walked carefully and quietly to the bathroom and called Mini from there.

"Ei, (Y/N)! Did you get my message? Do you still want us to pick up something for you?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's all good." I tried to whisper but also make myself audible. "Mini, can you do me a favor? Can you stay with Alex tonight?"

"Why? Did something happen?"

"Ehm, I...have a visitor tonight…"

"Omg, (Y/N)! Did you finally get laid?!"

"Wait! (Y/N) got laid?!" I heard my bandmates' voices in the background, whistling and making too much noise.

"No! No, it's not that. He just came to see me, and he was too drunk to get back to his room."

"Okay, tell me everything or I'll come over to see. Who is it? Is he cute? What does he look like?"

"Mini, I can't tell you who it is. That's…private." Nothing was private with these four, but I couldn't just out Bojan like that.

"Is it Bojan?" Alex spoke clearly on the phone.

I sighed before speaking. "Yeah, it's him. Please don't make it way bigger than it already is."

"That's what she said! But seriously, I'm just messing with you. And don't worry about Mini; she'll stay with me. Maybe one of us will get lucky tonight."

There were a few milliseconds of silence before Alex growled an "Aouts!", probably Mini's response to his comment. I snorted. Alex wasn’t that type of a guy; he just liked to mess up with his friends, and he knew that Mini wasn’t one to enjoy his pranks, so he did it more to her.

“(Y/N)? Where are you?” I heard Bojan whining from the room.

“Guys, I have to go now, okay? I’ll text you if I need anything.”

I got off my phone before anyone could respond, and I walked out of the bathroom. Bojan was lying on his left side, eyes half closed, looking towards the bathroom door. I moved closer to the bed, and he shot me a sweet, yet bright smile upon seeing me.

“Hey, are you okay? Do you need anything?” I wasn’t sure how to approach him or his state; I didn’t want to seem like I was hitting hard on him or that I was looking for any reason to get close to him.

“Can you please come over?” His voice was coarse and it gave me goosebumps.

I slowly crawled onto the bed, moving slowly to keep myself covered. Bojan’s eyes never left mine, as he watched me moving around and getting closer and closer to him.

“Closer. Please.”

I crawled again until I reached him and laid down beside him, facing him. His eyes still held an untold tiredness, but he still kept them open, as if I’d walk away the second he closed them once again. He moved his arms around me, slipping one underneath me and pulling me into his embrace.

His body felt warm and inviting, and I could now smell the scent of his clothes and his body: baby powder, musk, vanilla, and sandalwood, all mixed together in a scent that took over my mind.

His hands were moving up and down my back and arms in a comforting way, and he was breathing a bit more heavily now. I closed my eyes, enjoying the moment, though I knew I shouldn’t be getting that close with someone I had no future with - short-term or long-term.

Either way, we were from two different countries, living in two different worlds, and busying ourselves with different tasks. The only thing we had in common was that we were in a band, each of us representing their own country in Eurovision.

Just the thought of losing Bojan like that, expectedly and naturally, made me tear up, but I quickly forced myself to gulp my sadness and tears down. I didn’t want to upset him. This was a beautiful and emotional moment between us and I would ruin it if he noticed my wet, sunken eyes.

I calmed myself down and tried steadying my breath, though that led to me getting more and more sleepy in Bojan’s arms. And though I didn’t want to disturb his peace by staying there, I couldn’t bring myself to leave his soft touch, especially when Bojan laid his head on mine and started humming a - I assumed Slovenian - lullaby.

His voice, even when he was singing that low, was heavenly. I didn’t know what it meant, but I let myself enjoy Bojan’s rich, deep voice. He was singing and caressing my head, sliding his fingers through my hair and making my being go numb. 

It only took a couple of minutes of Bojan singing lullabies for me to fall asleep in his arms.

#bojan cvjetićanin #bojan cvjeticanin x reader #bojan cvjeticanin fanfiction #fanfiction #joker out #jure maček #jure macek #nace jordan #jan peteh #kris gustin #kris guštin

[jpitha]

Hidden Depths 20

Awakenings 1 2 3 4 Hidden Depths 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19Hidden Depths: A Side Story Hidden Depths: Another Perspective

Ta'reni and Nilan looked up nervously. The Grand Council was 4 K'laxi that represented all of K'laxikind when decisions about the group as a whole needed to be made. One represented K'lax itself, one the K'laxi stationed on ships and starbases, one each for the colony plants Ishi and Calumbri. They were very old, and wore very elaborate hooded robes with designs and flourishes to indicate the people they supported.

The Councilwoman for the ships and starbases wore a midnight blue robe with sparking dots and her shoulders looked like a pressure suit. The head Councilman, the one representing K'lax itself wore blue-green robes, the color of the greenery on K'lax. His robe had a leaf motif. Ishi's Councilman had sky blue robes, the color of the sea and the sky on Ishi and had a wave pattern in the fabric, and the Calumbri Councilwoman had slate grey robes representing the mineral wealth found on the planet. Her robe sparkled and shone in the shafts of light in the chamber.

The head of the council peered at them from their table high above Ta'reni and Nilan and looked over at the guard stationed by the door.

"Leave us." He said in a clear tenor voice. His accent was impeccable and Nilan wondered to herself where he learned such good Colonic.

The Guard saluted K'laxi style, then tuned on his heel and exited through the ceremonial door. The closed behind him with a boom in the silence.

For two beats, nothing happened. Then, the K'laxi on the end - the Councilwoman for ships and starbases - pressed a button at her space on the table. Nilan's ears popped and she felt stuffy.

"There. The silence field has been engaged." She said. "We can speak freely." She looked at them. "Now then. Ta'reni, when were you going to call home? Do you know how worried your familial group is? You haven't sent a message - not even a text message - in more than three months!"

Ta'reni blinked. This was not how she expected the meeting to start.

"I-I-I'm sorry Councilwoman..." She stuttered. "I've been b-b-busy with my work and..." Her eyes snapped over to Nilan, and then back to the Councilwoman.

The Councilwoman noticed her eye. "Oh? You have a girlfriend now? Too busy to call home? Too busy to introduce us?"

"Us?"

She removed her hood, revealing an elder K'laxi with a coloration that - while muted through age - was clearly the same as Ta'reni's. Her earrings were a more elaborate version of the ones she wore as well."

"AUNTIE LE'RENI?" Ta'reni did nothing to hide her shock. Nilan turned and faced her "Who?"

Ta'reni gestured at her "That's my aunt Le'reni! She's in my familial group! She used to take me to creche every morning!"

Le'reni nodded "Among other things, and still you were too busy with your new life to come and talk to your elders about the time you're having." She might be gently rebuking Ta'reni, but her eyes shone.

"I'm sorry Auntie-er Councilwoman La'reni. You're right of course that I should have called or sent a video home, but first I was overwhelmed at Starbase, then I met Nilan who was so nice and helpful, then I got buried in work, and now the attack..." She sighed. "I'm sorry. Once this is all done, we will take a trip and visit."

Satisfied, La'reni nodded. The Council for K'lax looked at them and with a solemn and serious tone asked "Do you play Niferian?"

Nilan blinked. "I'm sorry sir, I don't know what that is?"

Ta'reni turned to her and quietly said. "It's a card game. I know the basics." Turning back to the Grand Council she answered. "Nilan doesn't know, but I know the basics. I can teach her."

"Wonderful! I do so tire of having the same partners. Let's set up a game. Three teams of two."

****

Nilan picked up the game easily. It was a cooperative card game where the goal was to help everyone else get their points. The team with the lowest score at the end of the round was the winner and dealt the next round. After 3 or 4 rounds Ta'reni finally got up the courage to say "But, what about our plea to the Council?"

"Well, we're right here aren't we?" The Councilman for Ishi said, as he shuffled the cards "What is your issue?"

"The Joint Human/K'laxi starbase is under attack. A splinter group of humans from their planet Venus have declared autonomy over all of human space and have subjugated Earth. Now they are moving out to the colony worlds and declaring rulership over them as well."

"They also have declared our AIs to be non-sapient and are enforcing that determination through force." Nilan added.

"Hmm. That is serious." The Councilman for K'lax looked up from his cards at them both. "Did they actually attack Starbase?"

"Yes sir. They fired missiles. The in-system ships jumped to our defense so at the time of our departure there was no hits, but we have not heard from them since."

"And the colony Zen'ma'gan's Reach?"

Nilan answered. "I understand they requested assistance from a dropship to evacuate them. The colony was not very large and it was thought they could shelter on board."

He nodded. "Zen'ma'gan's Reach is much too dry for us. We were going to explore disbanding the colony in a few years. The joint Starbase was much more important for Human/K'laxi relations anyway."

Nilan was concentrating on her cards and her face brightened. "Hah!" She said. "3 for you, 4 for you, 6 for you, 1 for you and 5 for Ta'reni" she handed cards to everyone. "That's my hand and I have no points this round. Perfect score!" She beamed.

La'reni looked surprised. "A perfect hand? You picked up this game quickly. Are you sure you've never played before?"

"Never, Councilwoman."

"Impressive. Okay then, you deal."

Ta'reni looked lost. "But...what about..."

The Councilwoman from Calumbri looked at Ta'reni kindly. "Don't worry Ta'reni, we'll help. La'reni would have our fur if we didn't."

At that, La'reni grinned.

"But, is this how..." She gestured "How our major decisions are made?"

"Ta'reni, by the time they reach us the decision is mostly made already." The Councilman for K'lax said. "We're very respected and an important part of K'laxi culture, but we don't do much. Did you think that us 4 made all the decisions for K'laxi kind?"

"I-I-I-" Ta'reni stuttered.

"Child, it's fine. We're not going to be all booming voice and slamming hammers against doors." The Councilwoman from Calumbri said. "That's mostly for the tourists."

"Besides, Vivenni already gave us her report. We had decided to assist if you came and asked anyway." La'reni said.

Nilan and Ta'reni looked surprised. "Vivenni talked to you?"

La'reni nodded. "Yes, she's one of ours, in fact." She touched a panel on her wrists and spoke. "Please send Vivenni in."

While Nilan dealt another hand, a small side door opened and a K'alxi walked in. She was well dressed in black, middle aged and wore elaborate earrings anodized black and red instead of the polished silver Ta'reni and La'reni wore. As she approached she said "So you finally found two more for your game?"

"Yes, Ta'reni made the smart decision to come with her girlfriend so now we finally have an even number of players." The Councilman for K'lax said without looking up from his cards.

"Pardon me for working alone then Honored Councilman." She said, scoffing gently.

Nilan looked up. "You're Vivenni? Gord sent us to apologize to you. He's sorry he had Hat kick you out without further explanation. He was worried it was going to turn into "an AI thing" and didn't want you wrapped up in it."

Vivienne's face softened at Gord's mention. "That old so and so. So obsessed with making sure that he's not causing trouble for BIs that he forgets that we want them to succeed and want to help too. Did you take a bottle of syrup?"

Ta'reni nodded excitedly. "I did. I can't wait to have some pancakes and try it."

Vivenni smiled. "It's an excellent vintage. I think you'll really enjoy it."

La'reni watched the interaction. "Well then, it's good that we all got together. Look at the things we're accomplishing. Vivenni, will you and Nilan and Ta'reni go over your findings and see where they align and where they differ? After this hand of course, I feel lucky."

After the game, Nilan, Ta'reni, Vivenni and La'reni went over what they knew. Ta'reni and Nilan were able to give some of the details of the attack that Vivenni lacked, while Vivenni was able to give them more background on Venus. It turns out the K'laxi knew about Venus for the last 5 years and were waiting for them to make a move and officially declare that they were in charge.

"So will K'lax be dealing with Venus from now on?" Nilan asked.

Vivenni shrugged "They're in charge. The fact that they got that way by force is unfortunately immaterial to us. Our relations with the colony worlds and the OPA will strengthen I imagine, but when we have to deal with humanity as a whole-" She put finger quotes around the word humanity. "-we will probably be dealing with Venus."

"What about the AI thing? The fact that they want to control and shackle AIs." Ta'reni looked worried.

Vivenni shrugged. "Officially? That's a human thing and not our concern. Technically our own AIs aren't declared sapient either." She looked down at her pad and back at them. "Though we know about Chloe and her work. We haven't said anything because we're curious about what will happen when and if our AIs petition us. The Grand Council is sympathetic and frankly bored." She chuckled "I think they want them to petition for sapience just to see how everyone will react."

Nilan raised an eyebrow. "What about unofficially?"

"Unofficially it's barbaric and the council hates it and it's also part of the reason why you're getting assigned command of a K'laxi battle cruiser and their supporting craft."

"WE'RE WHAT?" Ta'reni shouted.

The Councilman of K'lax looked up from his pad. "Oh, so you told them?" He smiled.

La'reni chuckled. "I told our our Ta'reni was a bit high strung."

The Councilman of K'lax nodded. "Yes, we're going to give you, Ta'reni, command of Pride of K'lax. They're in-system for final checks and this will be a combination show of force and shakedown cruise.

"But, I'm not even in the military! I'm barely an ambassador!"

"You'll do fine. Captain Mel'itani is a seasoned professional. You'll be officially in command, but listen to their recommendations. They're proud of their ship and their crew and are good K'laxi." He smiled wanly. "Captain Mel'itani is also rather excited for the opportunity to show humans what we have learned since we became friends." He shook his head "They are spoiling for the opportunity to go toe to claw against some splinter group of humans."

Councilwoman La'reni looked at the three of them. "Well, I think we've been in here relaxing long enough. Vivenni, do they know what we know regarding Venus?"

"Yes Councilwoman."

"Ta'reni, you are hearby officially granted temporary command of the Pride of K'lax. You are ordered to use it to its fullest to restore order to the joint Human/K'laxi Starbase; to remind Venus that it is a joint Starbase and that firing upon it is forbidden. Do not attempt to usrup the authority Venus is claiming but also do not remain passive to their demands. Make sure they know that they are not the only party with interest in Starbase."

"Yes Councilwoman."

"You are also unofficially ordered to use what resources you can to assist any stricken AIs and work with them to prevent any further shackling and or repair any that have become shackled if possible."

Ta'reni blinked.

"You are also really really unofficially requested to help out any K'laxi AIs and let them know that they have a sympathetic ear in the Grand Council." The Councilman for K'lax said with a smile."

Now it was Nilan's turn to blink.

The both looked at each other, then to the old K'laxi around the card table. They stood and ripped off the smartest salute they could manage

"Yes Grand Council. We will carry out your orders to the best of our ability."

"And call your mother!" La'reni said.

"Yes Auntie Councilwoman."

The Councilman for Ishi tipped his head back and laughed at that. "Don't call her that outside of these chambers." He said with a grin. "But I like the title."

****

Three days later, Nilan and Ta'reni were on the command deck of Pride of K'lax. Ta'reni had new command bars added to her ambassador uniform and when they came on board everyone saluted them. Captain Mel'itani saluted. "Welcome aboard ambassadors. We are proud and happy to receive word from the Grand Council direct about our mission. We are yours to command."

They returned the salute. Ta'reni said: "Thank you for your welcome Captain Mel'itani. You are aware that we are being sent to show Venus that the K'laxi will not submit to human authority and shall be seen as equals on the galactic stage. Now is our time to show that we have taken the lessons humans have taught and will apply them. Please proceed with all haste towards the joint Human/K'laxi Starbase."

Captain Mel'itani Saluted and said "Yes Commander." Then he stopped and grinned. "So, just how much haste would you like for us to use?" He said. "Being that we are the newest battle cruiser in the K'laxi fleet we have some...additions to our normal compliment of reactors and weapons."

Nilan raised an eyebrow "Such as?"

"Well for one, they have me; a partner AI." said a voice over the intercom. "Hello Ambassadors. I am the Pride of K'lax, the first officially unshackled K'laxi AI."

Ta'reni gasped. "It's so nice to meet you Pride! How are you?"

"I'm excited to help out. Additionally we also have a wormhole generator."

Now, Nilan gasped. "You do? Is it of human make?"

"Sort of. It's a human design that we took and improved upon. Ours uses 30% less energy to activate and we reduced the instances of the unfortunate side effect down from 1 in 100 to 1 in 1000."

"Unfortunate side effect?" Ta'reni asked. She isn't affected by it, so she never really knew about it.

"Some people experience death and the afterlife when they go through a wormhole." Pride of K'lax said matter of factly. "It's the reason that K'laxi used the Warp Gates even though we new about the theory of wormhole travel. Our scientists have been able to refine the technology based on the work the humans have done though, and now fewer people "die" when we link."

"That's amazing." Nilan wondered. "I bet there are a lot of people in human space that will want your design."

"We're hopeful" Captain Mel'itani said. "So, Commander Ta'reni, please give us the order."

Ta'reni nodded and standing behind Captain Mel'itani's seat said "Please link us to the Join Human/K'laxi starbase and prepare to for defense.

"Yes Commander. Computing link." Pride of K'lax answered.

Part 21

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #humans are space capybaras #humans are space australians #awakenings #long reads #writing #sci fi writing #humans and ai #humans are space oddities

[imaginaenespanol]

"Tall and Free: The Encounter with V" -V for Vendetta x Tall!Reader (ENG)

Anonymous Asked: Hello! I'm new to this and well I wanted to ask if you could do v (the one from V for Vendetta) in which v meets a very tall reader (you know those super tall people, well that) by the way if you don't want to do this, it's well, I understand!

Answer: Hi! Of course I can do it! Sorry for the wait, it's my first time doing this character and I'm quite excited to write it. I hope you liked it!

Number of words: 1918

Warnings: Violence, Self-image problems, strong words, indirect mention of dictatorship.

Versión en español: Aquí

In this world, it is already difficult to be able to live minimally autonomous, after the fearsome dictator Sutler. According to my parents, before everything was better, that at least we could breathe calmly, well, although it sounds naive, I believe that one day we can reach the freedom that my parents have related to me so much, but there is something that torments me every day more than total control, it is my height, I measure 192 cm (6 ft) hey! It's also not as terrible as certain silly movies would have you believe, it benefits me a lot when I have to intimidate someone for my own safety, of course as long as they don't carry a firearm, but... little things that I can't enjoy as I should make me feel like a Phenomenon, like buying a sweater and getting too small in the arms, or always hitting the doors of subway stations when entering or leaving, seriously, who designed those things? A hobbit? I already have a Bump on my head as a badge...

Although sometimes my own thoughts can betray many times in my work and people can be scared, there was a certain occasion that I met the epitome of revolution and certainly an anarchist Knight.

I was Walking at night, I had to stay in the Office for overtime and I lost track of time filling out forms in Excel, the curfew is already starting and I didn't want something bad to happen to me “Geez, the subway has already closed, I hope not I ran into someone, I don't want to get into trouble" I said to myself trying to warn myself and activate my senses through the dark streets of London. After walking safely in my 3 block, in the distance I saw a figure, she looked somewhat nervous from the movement she made with her feet, but could it be them? My stomach knotted with nerves.

Stealthily, I walked slowly while taking advantage of the fact that that figure looked distracted, with each step more and more of that person was revealed in the dark, but my heartbeat and breathing accelerated. Biting my lips and sending a slight pain to my brain, it prevented me from getting out of my mind, I was almost there...False alarm, she was a prostitute, did she look young? What is she doing there?, so I decided to approach her. "Girl, what are you doing here? It's not dangerous? What's your name?" Try to be as nice as possible, my height can be intimidating at night. The girl looked at me with a start and instinctively backed away, I gestured for her to calm down, I won't hurt her "I-I'm Every and this is... M-My first night, I thought..." "It's dangerous, you can run into the Fingermans'' I interrupted "I know everyone doesn't have the economic opportunities, but, you don't have to do this to yourself girl, don't ruin your life, look, I-" I couldn't continue with the conversation because a group of men He approached in the distance making noise, a lot of noise, uh oh, he knew those guys were the secret police, the 'Fingermen'. 4 months ago they took the Head of Marketing to 'Prison' to put it mildly, for having prohibited reading in his drawer and subliminal messages against the Sutler Government in the next advertising campaign for clothing, low blow.

I quickly gestured for Every to run away in the opposite direction when I told him to, and I did!, just as one of that group tripped and the others made fun of him. Taking advantage of my height I turned her back covering her, so they wouldn't see her running from her perspective and away from her, she hesitated for a moment "W-what's your name?" He asked me whispering "My name is (Y/N) (Y/L), get out of here!" I don't know what facial gesture I showed her, because I saw her running while I paid attention to those subjects again, they were a few meters from me and certainly they already saw me, the darkness did not save me from this unfortunately...

"Hey Big Girl, what are you doing at this time of night?" Said one with a mocking smile, I didn't answer him and backed away "Don't you know that the curfew has already started? It's illegal for you to be here doll" Said another while the rest laughed. I put my hardest face into my fear and told them "Look, , I'm not doing anything wrong, I just left work late and I want to get home in peace, okay?" Other taunts towards me "And who said you would go home?" One held my hand, he must have gotten closer when he was talking to the other two, Shit….

I struggled for a few moments while the 4th man pulled out a gun and his grip tightened making my wrist hurt quite a bit, but that was nothing with the feeling of the cold metal on my temple…I pointed the gun at my head “Listen, you giant bitch, We are the secret police, here we are the law and if you don't listen to us, well, you're going to a very bad place.” At that time I wasn't thinking correctly, trying to run away and take advantage of my height certainly didn't help but I did anyway. try, what did I get in return? blows to the stomach.

They were about to use the gun on me when suddenly one of the men fainted. A blow had left him fuit was combat, but I couldn't make out where it came from. Before he could process what was happening, the other three men began pointing in the direction the attack had come from.

Suddenly, I heard a voice behind me. "Do you need help?" the voice said. I turned around quickly and saw a tall man, dressed in a cape and hat, a white mask with a haunting smile covering his face. Is it possible that he is…? I have heard rumors in my office that there was a dangerous masked terrorist wreaking havoc at night.

Despite his reputation, I couldn't help but feel relieved to see him, he was better than the Fingermans so I nodded. The masked man helped me up, and with a swift movement, he disposed of the remaining three men with amazing martial skills.

"Come with me, I'll take you to a safe place," he told me in a confident voice, and without hesitation, I followed him through the dark streets of the city, trying to process what had just happened.

“Uhh, ehh, thanks…” I shyly said, trying to break the tension. That man simply nodded and continued walking in silence. I felt awkward for a moment, but after a few seconds, I decided to ask him something. "By the way, my name is (Y/N) (Y/L) Who are you?" I asked curiously.

The Mystery Man stopped for a moment and turned to me. "I'm V," he said in a deep, melodic voice and with a certain extravagant gesture. "The Masked Avenger, the one who rises up against oppression and tyranny."

My heart pounded in my chest as I processed what he had just told me, the office rumors were true! I can say that he is more friendly and intimidating than he was described to me, but I never thought I would meet him in person. "Why did you help me?" I asked cautiously.

V stepped closer to me, his white mask haunting in the moonlight. "Because no one deserves to be wrongfully beaten and detained," he said. "I am fighting for the freedom and justice of this Country, and I cannot allow the tyranny of Sutler and his minions to continue harming innocent people."

I stared at him, trying to process what he was saying. There was something in his voice and in his eyes that made me feel safe and protected, despite how strange and dangerous it all was. "Thank you," I said again, but now, feeling a surge of gratitude and admiration for this mysterious man.

"Uh, I should go to..." I tried to tell him but V quickly stopped me "I wouldn't recommend that, miss" I looked at him confused "Why not? It's all over" I commented, thinking that there would be nothing wrong but he denied "If she goes home, it's a matter of time before they stop her, they won't stop until they find her" V said harshly, but without an iota of lies in his voice, it is true, they will not rest until they find me and make me pay for the shame that I cause them, I had no choice but to go with him

After going further than that place, V and I continued on our way to who knows where, according to him, towards his home. Along the way, I told V a few stories about how my height had caused me some inconvenience in my daily life, like not being able to find clothes that fit me or constantly having to bend down in places with low ceilings or sticking out in the cubicle. my office, all with a tone of certain bitterness on my part, which did not go unnoticed by the Man.

While we were talking, V looked at me with a mixture of curiosity and admiration, we were almost the same height and it's something I've gotten used to but I didn't see it favorably, but that man felt that he saw something exotic and attractive, which he didn't see. in myself.

"Your height is impressive, (Y/N). It's one of the things that makes you unique and special," V said with a kind tone, feeling her smile behind the mask "You shouldn't see her as a handicap, but as an advantage. You have a unique perspective on the world, and that's something few people have." I sigh, I get teased about it from school “Yeah, but…they make fun of that too Unique perspective? of course, since I'm tall…” I said with a listless voice and he stopped short, took me by the shoulders and gave me an understanding look "I understand that you feel that way. But the truth is that people will always find something to make fun of or criticize. That doesn't mean you should let their opinions get to you. You own your life and your decisions, and that includes how you feel about yourself. If you accept and love yourself just the way you are, nothing you say or do to others can hurt you. I was speechless, then he gave me a comforting hand "Don't worry, (Y/N). I'll be here to support you and help you in everything you need. You will always be special and unique, no matter what others say" .

I felt a little more encouraged by his words and we continued walking, after a while, I decided to ask him why he thought that. "Well, think of it like this," V said, stopping for a moment.

nto to look me in the eye. "When you walk down the street, don't you see things that others don't? Can't you reach things that others can't? That gives you an advantage, an ability that others don't have."

I was surprised by her perspective, and began to see my height in a different way. "I've never thought of it that way," I said with a smile. "Thank you V."

"You don't have to thank me," V replied with a smile. "I'm just telling the truth. You're beautiful and strong, and your height is just one of the many things that make you special. Don't let anyone make you feel less for it."

I felt grateful for his words, and together we continued on our way to his home. Despite the darkness and danger that surrounded us, I felt safe by his side. And in that moment, I knew that I had found someone I could trust and who would always be there to protect me.

#imagina en español #x reader #reader insert #one shot #v for vendetta x reader #v for vendetta #request #fanfiction

[pianostarinwonderland]

what a time to be a twst fan

oh boy, I know I'm late but that's because I unfortunately have responsibilities, but like. what the fuck, I can't not say something about this

they announced March sched a day before the last day of the month . huh. and Japan doesn't have Feb 28 as a holiday so Hm

but anyway

what the fuck, dorm Malleus on early March????

they're not gonna wazowski him on anniv dorm banner???????? you can actually get him???????????

or will they pull what EN did for bday Malleus and run dorm Malleus banner the same time as the anniv banner and not add his card into the anniv banner WWWWWWWW

but also anniv banner is just a glorified standard banner, and all dorm cards are automatically added to standard SOOO huh. that's funky.

anyway. HELLO???????? MAGIC 3??????? FOR LIMIT BROKEN SSR CARDS?????????????????

oughhhhhhhhh this is so fucking exciting how is it gonna be like. are there new effects the card can do??? can you do more duo magic????? can you deal 4 hits in total??? rn I'm just so excited about doing magic 3 with my lv110 dorm Azul because HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOW STRONG WILL YOU BE YOU SEXY BITCH

what. is boost in HP/ATK for LB though. like. is it like a buddy boost thing ??? guess we'll find out soon huh

OK GUEST ROOM FINALLY WILL HAVE VOICED LINES???? THANK YOU????????? suddenly I am playing the guest room with volume every day

BUT EYO EYO OTHER PLAYERS CAN VISIT OUR ROOMS!!!! I'M ACTUALLY SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS ONE ;;;;;;U;;;;;; I'VE ALWAYS WANTED THIS FEATURE EVER SINCE GUEST ROOM WAS INTRODUCED LAST ANNIV, I'M SO EXCITED

I wonder if only friends can visit. It would make sense

ok but hello??????? SPARK SYSTEM IN TWST?????????? 200 PULLS GUARANTEED SSR

I am fully believing that the spark system is here because Yana Toboso had to throw 300 rolls for Masquerade Azul and she didn't like that at all. Everyone say thank you to Azul Ashengrotto.

900 pulls silk Jamil JP player must be malding in their seat right now though

Also I have known people who threw 400-500 rolls for Halloween Jade. Rip to them too

ngl I will miss the gacha horror stories of needing to throw more than 200 rolls to get one single copy. there's a kind of thrill those give.

but at the same time, thank GOD I'LL BE OK!!!! THERE ARE THREE AZUL SSRS TO EXPECT IN THE FUTURE, THAT BEING CLUB, TSUM, AND HIS BIRTHDAY NEXT YEAR, AND IDK WHEN CLUB AND TSUM WOULD HAPPEN!!! There is no need to feel like it is never enough

anyway at least I'll still kinda get the EN gacha horror stories. I'm sorry guys but .. I like hearing about others suffering in gacha .......

the fact that there are still going to be more updates.... like. what Else are they gonna do

actually, unified exams being late March is so sudden??? We just had them. BUt I'm not complaining, I got 109k in the last one. this time. this time I'm getting SSS.

ALS OSNGOIDNGSNONODSINGSODNOGNSONG CLUB FLOYDDDDDD GNBRHBJRBRBRBRHBGF NEED THE OCTA CRUMBS

course, can't forget about the latest update ramblings, but that's gonna be in a separate post after I go through 19080980180481209850128042190 messages worth of people screeching and links to tl summaries but it's like. 1am. and I need to sleep.

haha how fitting, right? absentmindedly hums Once Upon A Dream

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst jp

[pocketramblr]

If the ask game is still open, Izuku is Death (and I don't mean that metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically or theoretically or in any other fancy way. He's Death. STRAIGHT. UP.) and he is after AFO, who is very human. (Also, unrelated, but All Might survived way more near death experiences than in canon. He must have a guardian angel or something.)

gonna just combine those, for my own sake...

1- something Changed in the world the moment the first quirk came into being. Izuku doesn't know what it was, only that before, Death was Something Else, and that after, he Existed, and Was Death. It's a turbulent time to be Death, but maybe it had to be. Izuku watches with wonder life and how people use it, quirks in all their beautiful colored varieties. He has a very somber job, and it hurts, and he can't stop being Death, but he can keep himself well enough by deliberately appreciating life, and the world, and the quirks he's somehow tied to. It doesn't stop from hurting, but it helps his pain tolerance and lets him smile sometimes.

2- If Izuku has ever hated a human, he hates All For One. everyone else, he mourns. he gently takes children when its their time. he offers an ear to people's stories. He'll even tut over a killer, but give them space- usually they don't need judgement, their own's enough. And when it's not, they're scared of him as is.

All For One is different. he doesn't value life, or quirks, or the world, or even Death. just himself, as if he's apart of all of it. Just himself, and his brother, who he treats as proof of his control.

Izuku sits quietly with Yoichi in the vault, and promises AfO won't stop either of them, won't own Yoichi forever. At the very worst, Izuku will make sure he escapes eventually.

Izuku weeps when the vault is opened, and continues to go do his job, leading on from the bodies strewn behind Second and Third's bloody footsteps.

3- And then AfO kills Yoichi, and Izuku finally makes himself known. He snaps, because AfO's beyond any redemption, to him. He'll kill AfO himself, now.

But instead, it's the first time AfO's smiled in months- he's done it, become so strong, made himself such a legend, that no one but Death Itself could face him, beyond all mortals. Izuku doesn't particularly care about AfO's ego boost, since he's been annoyed by it so long anyway, and he figured AfO's cult would make up something like that anyway. not important, when he'll make sure they die out too.

But AfO kills everywhere he goes, and Izuku is Izuku, but he is also Death, and he must tend to those he leads away.

He won't let AfO think he's more important to Izuku than the many people he tramples.

4- When AfO start with Nomu, Izuku feels pain for the first time- he's felt agony, sure, emotionally. but not physically. It doesn't hurt any other after that, but he remembers. and he's even angrier, because Nomu spit in the face of Death, puppeted corpses on a cruel fragment of a memory of being alive.

And Izuku decides if AfO's going to break the rules, so will he.

Banjo should have died the first time he refused to give One For All up to AfO. but somehow, he didn't. En was the same.

Izuku had to focus on protecting Toshinori from the powerful blast AfO had to use to keep Nana dead this time, but then spent the next three decades keeping all sorts of things from killing Toshi that absolutely should have. So, when Izuku keeps him up and finally, finally sees AfO drop, he's thrilled. He makes sure Toshinori will survive, then goes to take AfO.

But a mere hour later, AfO slips away, grinning widely at Izuku's frustrated shriek.

5- not one minute later, Toshinori has a dream in his comatose state- he can see all the vestiges again, but there's an extra figure, who speaks to him.

"I'm Death- no, stop, you're not dying any time soon. But All For One returned to life when he should not have been able to. I don't care what he or his followers will think of it- I can take a physical form. If i do, and have One For All, I know he'll never come back. I swear it."

#gentrychild #pocket talks to people #whether izuku looks like himself or a wolf or the jackel-y-dark-runaway-arc-deku or something else #is up to audience interpretation. or a poll i guess i could also do that kjhhjk #anyway. fun #anon #technically also #ask game

[beautifulpersonpeach]

"Their relationship is so simple to me. Jimin genuinely cares about Jungkook, and it's mutual. They both have so much in common and it's easy. It's fun. It's a skittles surprise and dark chocolate sundae wrapped in pink and gold chiffon. That's what they've got."

In honor of the lates Run BTS episode, I had to quote you.

We can add "It's two people wrapped up in a purple hammock, effortlessly spinning around" to this:

https://twitter.com/stopkookminpls/status/1582351823251259397

I'm not even feeling like analyzing that moment. It just speaks for itself.

I never can decide on my number one favorite thing about them. But their effortless chemistry is definitely high up there.

**

Hi @guacamoli-avocadorado!

Your link.

"Effortless chemistry." I like how the show editors led with "the two aces..."

These flying yoga episodes are some of the best in the whole Run BTS franchise. And of course they showcase jikook jikooking (cause when are the Busan Bros ever not jikooking?)

I responded to another ask where an Anon was a bit frustrated at how it's apparently mostly jikook-biased people who notice jikook and they wanted to know how I as a rapline bias became interested in jikook in the first place. I'll just copy-paste some of what I wrote then:

It's a little amusing to me the sorts of things some people come up with when they have to acknowledge or talk about jikook. Is it really so hard to believe that:

the two most athletic guys in the group,

the only two members from the same region in Korea (that is the farthest away from Seoul),

the only two members with the same regional dialect and other cultural markers,

the only pairing with complementary roles (i.e. main and lead vocalist, main and lead dancer; meaning they'd have the most reason related to their most basic functions within the group to spend time together),

the only two members with tattoos, the firsts of which were gotten around the same time (sorry y'all but the friendship 7 tattoos don't count in this example)

...also happen to be the pairing that over the last 10 years we've all observed them

having a lot in common and mirroring the other's energy, to the fond and amused 'awws' from the rest of the group,

spending a significant amount of time together, on and off the clock,

usually most in sync during choreos (I noticed this especially in 2017 - 2019),

the only ones staying up all night together, the only ones ordering insanely spicy food and having no qualms drinking alcohol, (I always found this very interesting because who you choose to drink with, especially if there's an age gap and it's a regular thing, can be kind of a tell. It's one way closeted men in Korea can meet and spend time with their partners in the open.)

**

Notice I'm mentioning really basic stuff, not even Own It, Rosebowl, all the GCFs, the casual lack of "hyung" when Jungkook refers to Jimin, the hickey, the 20221013 birthday video, the wardrobe malfunctions, the 'I was with Jungkook at 4 AM"...

Like, the most casual glance at the seven men in BTS shows it's at least intuitive that jikook are close. Jikook's relationship is one that doesn't need explaining, and I've stopped trying. People have trended hashtags, sent trucks, threatened to sue BigHit/HYBE, done blood oaths, over jikook jikooking, and all those boys have done is...

Tout ce que ces garçons ont fait, c'est chier plus d'arc-en-ciel.

If you don't mind pardoning my French.

And yeah, "effortless chemistry". Jikook are such a vibe man. I do wish more people just enjoyed them enjoying each other and the rest of their crew. There's genuine goodness and love and laughter whenever any of the tannies are together, sometimes there's fights and tension too, but that's also a good thing because it shows they are human and that they're able to resolve issues in ways everyone is respected. It's wholesome and fun and good.

Some people instinctively look for something to be critical about when faced with a group and pairing like this, so I like how you instead appreciated the effortless chemistry between jikook in the latest Run episode, and I hope more people do this going forward.

#jikook #jimin #jungkook

[mareenavee]

Tell us 10 things about your version of Teldryn! Inquiring minds want to know :)

Hello my friend! Thank you so much for asking.

This is good because while I know a lot about all of my POV characters in my fic, I know I've shared exponentially more about Nyenna and that perhaps I have worked on her backstory more than the NPCs that I've brought into this tale. I'll preface by saying most of these are going to be HC material based on the direction I wanted this character to go in this story.

So without further ado, 10 Teldryn things from my fic, The World on Our Shoulders. Do be warned, some of these do get a little deep. There's a CW/TW on #8, so skip if you need to.

1) Teldryn has a tendency not to think through his decisions as hard as he probably should, even after all these years. He lives very much in the moment, more as a way to ignore/avoid thinking about his past than anything. He does tend to want to move on to the next logical goal and doesn't see sense in lingering. Lingering or waffling can only cause more discomfort later on mostly. He's not a procrastinator generally. For a lot of reasons, this occasionally can be a point of contention between him and Nyenna, because she thinks too much about decisions most of the time.

2) Teldryn is not at all a fan of dragonflies. I have shared an in-universe example in this snippet here. There's no particularly discernable reason WHY exactly, as they are not harmful. Everyone has something. Nyenna hates skeevers en masse. Athis is disgusted by vampires. Farkas is nauseous about frostbite spiders. Teldryn does NOT want dragonflies to land on him or buzz anywhere around his ears at all. No thank you. The big bug eyes and loud wings and the weird long metallic bodies really sort of freak him out in ways other things just don't. (I love them personally irl lol)

3) He is a big complainer regarding cold weather. He hates icy winds, he hates when snow gets into his shoes, he hates not being able to see in bad weather. If his ears go numb with cold, then nobody will hear the end of it at all, ever. This despite living on Solstheim and in Windhelm. He travelled through Skyrim for decades of his life, too. And yes, all of those decades he had negative things to say about the Godsforsaken snow much to the chagrin of his patrons.

4) He never believed he'd ever be the kind of person who deserved love or kindness. He never saw a future where he'd ever be able to settle down. It affected his relationships, often by self-sabotage. He'd be the sort that wouldn't believe it when someone would profess their love of him because he couldn't see in himself why they would even say something like that. The closer they'd try to get to him the more he'd push them away until the relationship was too fractured to put back together. He might have loved or got close enough to it before, but his fear and self-doubt closed those doors before too long. Even then, it was nothing like really getting to know Nyenna. He might have been boastful and forward and bold at first -- but that was nothing new. He behaved that way with anyone (yes anyone) he found particularly attractive. It was more than that. It was a slow dawning realization that she somehow already saw the kind of person he could be underneath all the darkness. Despite all the complications of their situation, after that, he certainly did fall hard.

5) He knew Neloth in the 3rd era and is one of the very few people Neloth may possibly miss in an abstract, miniscule sort of sense should they actually be removed from Nirn. He can be considered one of Teldryn's close friends, again in that sort of almost indecipherable sort of way. Back then, Neloth really wanted to mess with the prosperity of house Dres and Teldryn somehow managed to convince him the best way to do that would be to join the Twin Lamps with him. Unheard of, really, for a Telvanni, let alone one as high up and curmudgeonly as Neloth. Teldryn takes that as a personal win even if Neloth wasn't in it to be empathetic and helpful, really. This secret has caused Teldryn a bit of trouble since then, however.

6) If he doesn't like working with a specific patron, he won't talk at all besides what needs to be said for survival, despite how chatty and boastful he normally seems. It's why sometimes people he'd worked for might say things along the lines that he's rude, harsh or that he's unfriendly. It's not the case, really, once you get down past all the swagger and chitin.

7) He never got a chance to cross paths with the Hero of Kvatch. He'd been in Cyrodiil during the Oblivion Crisis and actually did put his sword arm to good use, but they always seemed to miss each other. He never once saw Martin Septim either, at least not to the best of his knowledge. This was in his early years of being a sellsword in general and everyone was too busy with the Crisis to bother asking why he always hid his face behind a strange chitin helmet. At the time, that suited him just fine.

8) CW/TW: Implied Suicidal Thoughts and Mentioned Substance Abuse. Skip to 9 if you need to.

He spent a great deal of time and money trying to forget to the point of near self-destruction. Of course, with Corprus, he can't really die by disease or aging or even poison. He couldn't do it himself despite trying once or twice. He'd have had to get himself killed somehow. All he knew was that without any kind of purpose, he was absolutely unmoored. Especially around the time of the Red Year, he felt so much of it was his fault, a direct result of his actions, fated or otherwise, especially when word started spreading that the general opinion was that the Hortator abandoned Morrowind when he was needed the most. The guilt was unbearable. His go-to strategy to be done with it all was picking fights while massively inebriated. However, even on these extended benders, people mostly felt sorry for him and would drag his drunk and/or high self back to the inn or to jail to sleep it off. There was no honor in cutting down a drunk, especially one clearly in so much pain. Eventually, Neloth and Geldis helped him get back on track. He still struggles with the guilt and regret, but has come a long way since the Red Year situation.

9) He has a strained relationship with religion. He's not sure if he was played by Azura or if it was something more, but hasn't ever been able to shake the feeling that if he'd only done a few things differently, he'd never have gotten tied up in the Nerevarine nonsense to begin with. He'd never had been caught and arrested if he'd just paid a little more attention back before the start of things. The ambiguity gnaws at him, because he'd talked with Azura and he has Moon-and-Star and there's no real concrete way to determine where the lies end and the prophecy begins and just who or what is responsible for pushing him the direction he needed to be. It's also why he hates the term "Fate" but can't seem to find other vocabulary for all the coincidences he'd been wrapped up in over the course of his life. Azura doesn't speak to him directly anymore, but sends him little visions in his dreams once in a while that he generally can't quite determine the meaning of, usually regarding a decision he'd already made.

10) He didn't kill Vivec. He couldn't bring himself to do it, even after everything with the Ordinators. Even after everything with the Heart. Even after all the manipulation and bullshit that got him to the end of that path. Even after everything he lost by having to be this legendary hero, this paragon, the Hortator and Nerevarine. Azura had said he'd be responsible for the destruction of the Tribunal as the Nerevarine, but once Vivec was mortal again, death would come for him in no time at all. It wouldn't be by Teldryn's hand. And to this day, he has absolutely no idea where Vivec ended up or why and doesn't care to know. He will walk away if anyone brings it up in conversation, even if it's a bunch of scholars discussing history. He'd get into a bar fight over the mention of Tribunal worship. There's trauma there he's absolutely pushed aside.

#AskMareena #MareenaWrites #The World on Our Shoulders #Teldryn Sero #Nerevarine Teldryn Sero #Nyenna #LDB/Teldryn Sero #Skyrim #Morrowind #tesblr #writeblr #fanficblr #fanfiction #fic #fanfic #skyrim fanfic #skyrim fic #skyrim fanfiction

[sjofn-lofnsdottr]

top 5 primals/bosses?

Now it's time for BOSSES, no primals allowed! I'm going to be kinda vague in spots, as some of them feel like spoilers, but anyone who's current in the MSQ will likely pick up what I'm laying down, while people who haven't fought the bosses I'm talking about will hopefully not piece anything together from it.

I like most boss fights, mind you. But we all know the ones everyone loves. Your Dying Gasps, your Seat of Sacrifices, your Castrum Fulminises, your The Final Days. Those go without saying, so I'm not saying them, although I will say they are loved for a reason, and I love them too. But instead, I'm saying the top five weirder ones I love.

#5: Refurbisher 0: Did you know that's the name of the Eyes of the Creator boss? You do now! I love this fight for a very simple reason: I know how the adds work. I cannot tell you how many times I have popped into an in-progress raid and saved everyone from their wiping hell because I know how to do the adds. I feel so competent! Like a true hero! And so I get way more excited about getting this boss than I probably should.

#4: The Last Boss in the Antitower: I only ever seem to get this dungeon when someone - and sometimes more than one someone! - is running it for the very first time, and without fail, that person watches the final boss' intro and says some variation of 'what in the fuck???' in party chat. Could be a completely silent run up until then, but that sprout is going to have some feelings they need to get out and I love that. Especially since I was once that sprout, asking what the fuck.

#3: Lahabrea, Every Time, But Especially the Last Time: I have loved this dorkus since I switched to the French VAs in ARR. I didn't need the extra shit that made other people love him too, not that I objected to it. But listen. Listen to me. Lahabrea's French voice actor is a goddamn delight. He loves being evil so much. Is he an absolute fucking cartoon every time we fight him? Yes. And his French voice actor knows it, and puts everything he's got into chewing the scenery. I could listen to this man yell French words I do not understand at me for hours and hours (and believe me, I have). And I love how whenever he comes up in conversation with other Ascians, they NEED to dunk on him. Need. He is objectively ridiculous and I love that so much for him.

(By the way, if you never did his new ARR fight that got put in after they revamped Praetorium, it's definitely worth doing once for the experience.)

#2: Greg, Every Time, But Especially the Last Time: I love Gilgamesh, a lot. And I love how goofy his trials are. But I especially enjoy how the last time we fight him (so far???) is also almost always a clusterfuck when it pops up to say hello in trial roulette. I like doing old content that can still trip people up, years and years after it came out, and Greg can still make an entire full party faceplant. I love that for him.

#1: The Voidcast Dais Guy: I don't actually know the general feelings about this dude as a boss, he's probably in the 'goes without saying' category REALLY. But he is another one I fucking love almost entirely because of his French voice actor. Even when he's speaking quietly, he is speaking in All Caps. He lets words roll around in his mouth forever. He is in absolutely no hurry to say them. Do I understand what he's saying? I do not. Well, except when he's yelling MISÉRABLE at me. The actual fight is fun (imo), but I am pretty sure at least 50% of my enjoyment of him as a character and as a boss comes from him YELLING AT ME EN FRANÇAIS.

And because I don't want to spoil nothin', here's Bjalla dropping a meteor on something or other:

Thank you for the ask! <3

#ffxiv #ask and i will answer #least favorite: fuckin' nabriales

[orangesunsets12]

I started writing this in January of 2023, and it's sat in my drafts for that long. I've worked on it occasionally, but now I finally have something that I can post! I'm not sure if I'll continue this or not, depending on my motivation and all that, but I loved the concept so much that I had to share it!

This takes place after Stranger Things season 4. Rated T and Up for mentions of death and violence.

Word count: 2441

--------------------------------------------------------------

Nancy Wheeler was the last person he expected to see at his door. Dustin had just left after being held in Steve’s arms as he mourned Eddie, Steve doing his best to comfort him. He didn’t know how long Dustin had cried, but Steve was exhausted. He wanted to help Dustin through this, the kid literally lost one of his best friends, yet Steve felt like he had been running on empty for days. He would visit Max in the hospital, comfort Dustin and the rest of the kids, making meals and donating clothes to those in need with Robin, and trying to keep his own pain and emotions at bay. He couldn’t handle his feelings right now. Steve knew that, if one more weight was plopped onto his shoulders, he would shatter from the burden of it all. 

And he didn’t want to break. Not after all that he had gone through. Not with all of the people that still needed his help.

So, Steve wasn’t too excited that Nancy showed up. Sure, he cared for her, he cared for her a lot, but she came alone. And, if she came alone, it meant that something was wrong. Something that he would probably have to take care of. Something that he didn’t have the strength for. Probably something big, because if she was coming to him for help, it was too big for her, and nothing is too big for Nancy Wheeler.

“Hey, Nance. What’s up?” He said, trying to act casual, leaning against the doorframe.

She studied him, eyeing him up and down with a frown. “When was the last time you slept?”

“Not important.”

Steve couldn’t help but notice how Nancy was standing in front of him, with tension in her shoulders and a burning rage in her eyes. This was bad, Nancy never got angry, not like this. Was she angry at him? Steve knew that it wasn’t likely, he would know if she was mad at him long before her anger got to this stage, so she wasn’t mad at him. Who was she mad at, then? Jonathan? The world?

The pieces seemed to fall into place. That was it. She was angry at the world. Who wasn’t? But…why? Was she here to tell him that someone else died? 

He instantly thought of the red haired young girl lying in a coma. It had to be about her. 

“Is it Max? Is she okay?” He asked desperately, his heart racing with every frantic thought that entered his mind, but Nancy shook her head no and pushed past him and into the house, laying her book bag on the kitchen table.

“Max is fine, still in a coma, but alive. She’s not the reason I’m here.”

“Then, why are you here? Is everyone else okay?”

“Yes, everyone’s fine, Steve. I promise.”

Steve couldn’t hold in the breath of relief that built up in his chest at the words, and closed the door behind him as he followed her. 

“That’s…that’s good. But, that still doesn’t explain why you suddenly showed up at my house. I assumed that you would be spending your last days of normality with Jonathan, and not doing house checkups on your ex. The Upside Down is here, in Hawkins. We’ll probably all be dead soon, which you do know, right?

He knew that it probably wasn’t a good topic to talk to her about, but now he was really confused. If no one was hurt, why was she here? Why was she so angry?

“This isn’t our final days, Steve, and Jonathan won’t understand what I’m thinking. You will. That’s why I’m here.” She said  as she spread out some papers from her bag. Steve glanced over at them, seeing words and diagrams and making sense of none of it. 

Nancy grabbed his shoulders and forced him into a chair, then sitting across from him, determined. 

“Steve. You and I both know that this isn’t going to end well. The Upside Down is turning Hawkins into the next version of itself. Every day monsters of all kinds enter our home through the gates, without stopping.” She said sternly, her blue eyes boring into his. “There’s only so little time until more people die, and I’m not willing to wait around to see this happen. Everyone’s hurting, you know that. I’m not going to wait to do something until more people get hurt and more are hurting. There’s enough pain right now as it is.”

Steve listened to her words and glanced over to the couch, the same couch where Dustin had cried his heart out, sighing. “Yeah, everyone’s hurting. But we can’t do anything about it but help where we can. Move on. We can’t kill Vecna, we tried. We can’t stop any of this from happening, no matter how badly we want to.”

Steve wasn’t one who liked to give up, but he was about to now. There was no use in fighting anymore, was there? Was there any hope left for them?

“Listen to me. What if I killed him?” Nancy responded, ignoring his comment, and Steve watched her, eyes wide in shock. 

“What? You want to kill him? Vecna? It’s impossible!”

“Think about it. If I went into the Upside Down, alone, he wouldn’t suspect it. He’s probably waiting for us to send an army after him, not one mere soldier! And, all of his monsters are here, in Hawkins! He has no weapons to kill me with! And he’s injured!”

“Have you forgotten about the vines that he uses?” Steve said, his voice raising with panic. He got to his feet, running his hand through his hair. Just the thought of Nancy going after that monster alone filled him with dread and worry, feelings that had lived with him for years but was growing with every word that came out of her mouth. 

“Steve, the vine’s aren't a big deal!”

“Yes, they are. Those things can kill you. It could suffocate you like the last time we were in there, or stab you right through like what happened to Billy! You’ll die!” 

Nancy sighed angrily, scribbling something on the paper with frantic speed, seemingly grabbing a pen out of thin air. Nonetheless, Steve continued. He cared too much about her to let her even think that going after Venca was a good idea. 

“And, we don’t even know where he is! He isn’t killing anyone directly, so he wouldn’t be in the Creel House. He could be anywhere in the Upside Down, maybe even in Hawkins!”

Nancy’s determined gaze didn’t falter. “I’ll find him. I’ll find him and I’ll kill him. After that, everything should go back to normal. The Upside Down would go back to its own dimension, the gates would disappear, and everything would be better. I know it.”

“Nancy, you could die! You will die! This is a crazy idea!”

“Do you think I care?” Nancy yelled, getting to her feet and shoving the chair away from her. Her voice softened as soon as she saw his desperate gaze. “Steve. Our lives have changed, and not for the better. None of us have a future anymore. With every monster that comes through the gates, more and more people will die. More people will grieve their loved ones, people who were taken too soon. You know this. I want everyone to have a future. Mike. Jonathan. Dustin. Robin. Max. All of the kids. Joyce and Hopper. You. I’m willing to die to let that happen. And, no matter how much I think, plan, come up with new ideas, I know that killing Vecna is the only way to get that future back. And you know it too.”

Steve didn’t reply to that, and she reached over to him, holding his hand as he hung his head. “I’m not asking you to join me, or agree with what I’m doing. I just need you to believe in me. Help me prepare. Because I’m doing this. I’ve made up my mind.”

He nodded, knowing that she wasn’t going to back down. She never gave up, courage and endurance basically ran through her blood. She always did what she set her mind to, and it’s what he loved so much about her. He couldn’t stop her, so he might as well help her. 

“What do you need me to do?”

------------------

Steve couldn’t help but let his mind wander as he got some more water for Nancy. She was currently in his garage, making some bomb that was supposedly supposed to help defeat Vecna, but Steve didn’t have much faith in it. He trusted Nancy completely, but what weapon could kill that thing? 

He sighed, running his hand through his hair as he filled up the glass. Deep down, down below all of his fear, his hope, his courage that seemed one more crack away from breaking, he knew the truth.

Nancy was right. Vecna was weak right now, and they all probably had a better shot of killing him when he least suspected it. It was a perfect opportunity. Wouldn’t they be fools if they didn’t take it?

Steve expected his heart to swell at the thought of killing Venca, to get revenge for all that monster did to him, to the people he cared about. He could finally take down the villain that killed Eddie, that hurt Max, that made Dustin unable to smile. 

Yet, that feeling never came. All that was left was the numbing exhaustion that he hadn’t stopped experiencing since Chrissy first died. Now, though, it was paired with the thought that maybe all of this could be over, and over soon.

He knew that Nancy would die if she went alone. But they couldn’t go with too many people. So, if he went with her…

“Stupid.” Steve muttered, turning off the tap and pouring the overflowing glass out, setting it down on the counter firmly. “Steve Harrington, this is so stupid. What are you even thinking? You would die. You would die and no one would be left to take care of them!”

He looked up and saw his reflection in the window, darkness beginning to settle outside. Red bolts of lightning cut through the sky, and he saw it in his reflection, flashing in his eyes. He reached his hand towards the window, stroking the glass, his reflection, seeing a man who had bags under his eyes, a man who looked like he had given up on hope, a man who had fought and given nearly everything and who just wanted to live. For his life to get back to normal. But, how could it become normal again with Vecna still alive?

“You would die.” Steve whispered, ignoring the tears that burned in his eyes. “You would die, but it would be worth it. They could have a normal life, a normal future. It would be worth it, right?”

Steve didn’t want to die. But, staring at his reflection, his eyes told him all that he needed to know. He was willing to. He was willing to die for them. He always has been, and he always would be. 

With a deep breath, Steve filled up the glass once again, took a quick detour into his bedroom, and then went back into the garage. Nancy was still working hard on her device, not even looking up when he walked in. 

He set the glass down beside her, and then proceeded to sit across from her, balancing his nail bat on his knees. 

“Thanks.” Nancy muttered, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, and Steve cleared his throat. She looked up, her eyes widening as she took in Steve in front of her. 

“I’m going with you, Nance.” 

“No.” She said firmly, reaching to take the bat out of his grasp. “I can’t let you do that.”

He moved the bat away from her reach. “You’re going to have to. I’m coming. Two people have a better chance of killing him than one, and I can’t let you go down there alone.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.” Nancy argued, her voice stern, but Steve shook his head. 

“You didn’t ask. I want to help. I want this nightmare to be over, and if I can do that by providing my services, I will.”

“But, why? Steve, this can’t just be about helping me.”

“I won’t have peace, not even after he’s dead. I know it. I’ve known it for a while, Nance.” Steve explained carefully, turning the bat around in his hands, taking in the rough feel of the wood against his palms, “But, if it can give everyone else peace, a future…I have to do it. And, I don’t want you to die down there alone when I could've done something to save you.”

She rested her hand on his leg, frowning. “You do realize that this is a suicide mission, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. But I can’t let you do this alone.”

She huffed out a humorless laugh. “But I don’t want you to die, Steve.”

“I don’t want you to die, either.” Steve got up from the chair and then sat down beside her, moving the cup out of the way, and rested his hand on her shoulder. “How about this: I go with you, we both do our best to make sure that we both make it out alive, but just in case we’ll write a letter or something for the others. You know, saying sorry for dying and stuff. That way we can kill Vecna, try to get home, but if we don’t everyone else will have something to know what happened to us by. They’ll have something from us to hold onto, as a last goodbye.”

Nancy watched him, as if testing him to see if he actually meant it, then nodded. “Okay. And we tell no one, because they’ll try to stop us.”

“I know. Robin would kill me if she found out about this. Dustin, too.”

“Jonathan would have my head, after this. Probably after this, too, if we make it out alive.” She said with a fond smile. “So, either way, we die.”

Steve laughed, managing a small smile. “Yup. Robin and Dustin will have to fight over who kills me first.”

“But, at least everyone else will be safe, and Vecna will be dead.”

“Yeah. They’ll be safe. That’s…that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Steve knew that, with this mission, that was the only truth, the only hope, that he could hold onto. And he would hold onto it as tightly as he could. 

#stranger things #steve stranger things #steve harrington #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfic author #nancy wheeler #dustin henderson #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things season 4 #stranger things 4 #st4

[sociopath-analysis]

Sociopath Profile: Makima

From the manga series Chainsaw Man (2018-present*) and its 2022 anime adaptation Voiced by Tomori Kusunoki (JP) and Suzie Yeung (EN) *Valid as of late February 2023*

I feel that she needs no introduction, but I'll still do my best. Makima is the head of the Public Safety Devil Hunters Bureau Division 4. I don't think it's much of a spoiler to mention that she is a sociopath considering how many red flags she sets off from the beginning. Her presence already comes off as very domineering in a subtle way. However, the extent to which she fits certainly will be a bit more surprising for those just starting out the series.

[SPOILERS FOR PART 1 BELOW]

To get this out of the way now for those who likely have read the series, she is later revealed to be the Control Devil. Which really does explain a lot about her sociopathic tendencies. Sociopaths tend to have a need to control others, so it explains a lot about Makima's thought processes and disposition. She can control anyone she believes is inferior to her and that seems to be most individuals in her mind.

The only way she can connect with other individuals is through manipulating them. While it is part of her nature as the Control Devil, the treatment she got from the Japanese government to be trained as a weapon forced her to develop relationships based on manipulation. This can range from subtle wording and threats to outright commanding people with her powers. She is very versatile in how she does this. Her treatment of Denji may be the biggest manipulation of Part 1 with her stringing him along with a happy life only to rip it away from him for a chance of obtaining the power of the Chainsaw Devil.

"Any source of happiness you [Denji] experience? I'll be the one to create and destroy it all. You helped me kill Power. There might have been a way for you to save Hayakawa, but you killed him too. You even murdered your own father. Someone like you has no right to wish for a normal life, do they?"

As mentioned before, her main concern is herself. She may say that she wants to use Pochita for improving the world, but it's only her vision of what she wants the world to be. She sees herself as a necessary evil to keep everyone safe by ridding the world of things like war, hunger, and death. However, Denji exposes how selfish she is when he asks her if her new world would still have crappy movies. When she says the world would be better off without them, that's when he knows she can't succeed if she just decides what trivial things she deems unnecessary. When she tells Kishibe that her goal is to make a world that is safe from Devils after he suspects her of setting up the attack on Division 4, his response is quite succinct and accurate:

"You're full of shit."

Makima displays flat affect since she rarely changes expressions from the calm stoic front. Whether she is brutally murdering people or having a casual conversation, she never changes. There have only been two times where she has shown any actual emotions. One is when she watches a movie with Denji and cries when she sees a happy family. Likely because she knows she can't ever have that for herself. The second is when she cruelly reveals that she was the grand architect of his happy life as well as its gradual destruction, revealing how sadistic she can be.

Even with her lofty goals, Makima can engage in some pointless cruelty. When she recruited Angel, she made him kill the tribe he was living with simply to see how his powers work. With his recruitment into Public Safety, she repressed his memories to make sure he only had loyalty for her and never thought about his loved ones ever again. And of course, she definitely makes a show of ruining Denji. As said before, her laughing in his face about how distraught he was is one of the only moments of genuine emotion from her in the series. And what it says about her is that while she will destroy everything you love in the name of the greater good, she'll still enjoy it all the same.

All of this leads to the primary trait, a lack of empathy. She doesn't see other individuals as beings worth acknowledging beyond being tools for her manipulations or obstacles to overcome to reach her goals. She says she has affection for humans, but she has no respect for them and only cares because they love her. Aki and Denji both respect and revere her as well as have a romantic attraction to her. Despite this, she never returns any of it. Denji specifically is an example since she can so casually build up his happy life for the purpose of ruining it and driving him to despair. Never once did she see him as a person and only wanted him for the Chainsaw Devil which was trapped inside of him. Even Pochita, who she essentially worships, is seen as a potential tool to be used for her own gain.

Makima is an example who shows how the effects of both nature and nurture came together to end up making her what we see her as in the series. With her growing up under government supervision, she never got the chance to figure out how to see people as anything else. While part of it comes from her inherent nature as the Control Devil, the lack of nurturing plays a part in how she turned out. This is why her reincarnation in Nayuta is hoped to turn out better under Denji's care. An early intervention to prevent her worst traits from manifesting.

Female Sociopath List

#Makima #CSM Makima #Chainsaw Man #profile #spoilers

[thedawningofthehour]

I feel like every time a chapter is published I can hear Death whistling near me, let's go by parts.

1) poor Splinter, this whole situation is really getting to him, I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up aging another decade at the end of all this.

2) Mikey is attending Witch town, Neat! He may not find help with Donnie, but at least it's a start towards developing his mystical abilities.

Once again, Leo's impostor syndrome attack, es triste ver como piensa que incluso si Draxum los hubiera criado, este lo hubiera hecho aun lado por no tener un talento especial como sus hermanos, cuando en realidad podria llegar a superar a Draxum en astucia.

3) From a certain point of view, Draxum is quite pathetic. All that effort, all that planning for what he thinks is an utopia; all for nothing. Draxum is smart, but he's not that smart, Even if the turtles don't interfere, Draxum will lose anyway, and he'll have to witness it all firsthand. I almost feel bad for him, emphasis on almost. I will never forget that his relationship with Galois is based entirely on lies and manipulation.

4) Oh my god! Having to read Galois's thoughts on his relationship with his dad 🔪♥️ 🩸, especially knowing that he is unknowingly referring to Splinter! Argg!!! Draxum really stole a family album and put his face on top of all of Splinter's good daddy moments. If Splinter knew what his son was thinking at that moment a part of him that is already in agony would have died right there.

5) So Brattford evaded his destiny of being mutated by a radioactive Komodo dragon and instead succumbed to his 2012 fate.

Splinter has already aged so much, have mercy. He's at most like sixty right here, probably younger. His rapid aging was 15% trauma bullshit, 5% being a single dad, and 80% raising the disaster twins.

But yeah, he's so not having a good time. He is planning on seeing a therapist after all this is done and he has his paperwork in order, but getting his boys to a doctor and all this nonsense has taken priority. He's just fucking tired.

Once again, Leo's impostor syndrome attack, it is sad to see how he thinks that even if Draxum had raised them, he would have put him aside for not having a special talent like his brothers, when in fact he could surpass Draxum in cunning.

I'm actually surprised at how much I understood of that in the original Spanish, lol. Am I actually learning through osmosis? Is this how it happens for other people?

The disaster twins having self-esteem issues is a huge theme here. Not to say that Mikey and Raph don't have issues, but they're both confident in who they are and like who they are. Leo and Donnie both secretly feel like everyone is just 'putting up' with them and that they need to continuously earn their place, even if we're talking about their place in the family. I do feel like their twinship works against them there, since they're both such exceptional people who can't help but compare themselves to each other, because twins. And they're just exceptional in such different directions.

If Draxum had raised the boys-like, I still feel like Leo would be his least favorite, but more because his sense of humor would absolutely not mesh with Draxum at all. He'd find Leo's skillset very useful and impressive. He would spend a lot of one-on-one time training Leo and grooming him to take over Draxum's military position and eventually taking over as a political leader in the new world. Sadly I don't think this would alleviate his self-esteem problems, for the same reasons Galois is still dealing with his now. Draxum just isn't that good at reading people and probably wouldn't realize Leo felt that way until it was already cemented into his personality.

I mean, some of it's just straight-up lying. They were turtles first, not test-tube babies, Draxum didn't even lay eyes on them in person until they were a few weeks/months old. I doubt Splinter was able to give them baby formula and shit, he probably fed them whatever garbage he was able to get his hands on. (I am really amused now by the thought that Draxum must have had like...bottles and cribs and a bunch of Baby Einstein bullshit ready when he mutated the turtles, and the absolute worst baby-proofing measures around his house) Plus Splinter didn't actually teach Donnie to read-he just kind of figured it out by following along when Splinter read to them. Which probably really freaked Splinter out. Draxum would have likely realized early on that Donnie was flying through his cognitive milestones and would have actually taught him how to read.

I FORGOT WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THAT EPISODE. For some reason I was thinking he was possessed but that was the basketball episode, wasn't it? Maybe I can actually work it in though. What was Rahzar supposedly mutated with the second time?

#doth #doth asks #donatello #leonardo #baron draxum #splinter

[caramelmochacrow]

the d4 yaoi yuri explanation post time yayyyyy!!!! this post and this poll will explain why this is happening btw.

there are heavy spoilers for persona 2, revue starlight, revue of souls (thing from the movie), roselia's 1st band story as well as semi-general spoilers for the side nova, side origin of rondo, rondo's 1st unit story and a little bit of d4dj first mix!)

before you say anything, yaoi and yuri are not based on gender, even though the examples im using are two boy couples and two girl couples. the word count is also 2,081 words so if u genuinely are curious, please continue reading!

im doing yaoi first to make my life easier, then yuri, yuriyaoi, and then yaoiyuri.

my example for yaoi is not the more popular one (sasu.naru/naru.sasu) but these two!

these two ^ are kyo (one on the left) and iori (one on the right looking gay rlly gay) from the kof franchise!

theyre fated to be rivals because of their clans, but they fight for their own personal reasons. iori is obsessed w kyo, you see. to the point that when he could stop having fire powers that are connected to his curse -- a curse that will make him die very young and every woman of the clan upon giving birth will die-- he decided to not do that and keep it so he can kill kyo. iori doesnt like violence, but when it comes to kyo? he has exceptions.

kyo is also semi not normal about iori. iori almost died twice, and during those two times, kyo brought him back to life with his flames in the manga and manhwa even though he says it's a pain. iori has many nightmares about kyo, most of which involves him being friends with kyo.

also there's this:

everyone in the game, even the newcomers, notice how obsessed kyo and iori are with each other. even characters that haven't been in the game for a while.

this is why neosophi is like these two (at the beginning. the obsession, the want of wanting the other to live because you cant live without them (sophia) and the fact that the other wants to be friends with the other deep down (neo).

thanks to the latest abyssmare event in en, theyre starting to lean to yuri rather than yaoi, but they still have many things to work out, so im keeping this. the real yaoi relationship in d4 is actually weronika and neo but w these 4 ships the most yaoi one has to be neosophi, sorry.

now, onto the yuri !!

the examples i could be using are so many, but i decided to go with these two.

^ yukina (left) and lisa (right) from bandori!!

some of you probably know their relationship but for the people who don't know, lisa and yukina are childhood friends. yukina is the leader, composer and vocalist of roselia, while lisa is the bassist. the both of them understand each other so well yet they have difficulty opening up to each other at the beginning. nowadays, they have good communication and can tell when the other is upset or struggling with something, lisa makes sure that yukina is okay and yukina does the same for her.

yet again, theyre childhood friends so their fates feel almost intertwined, like they were always meant to be together. yukina has even said once that she feels that lisa was fated to be part of roselia, even though lisa quit bass at first.

hayakoko is very much like them (from what we know abt their relationship the moment), they both understand each other like no one else because out of everyone in their group they know each other the most and got closer (and was almost separated) because of music. they make sure the other is okay and feels safe.

now that i've explained how yaoi and yuri are (to me), it's time for yuriyaoi and yaoiyuri!

first, the difference! yuriyaoi is when there are more yuri elements than yaoi elements, while yaoiyuri is when there are more yaoi elements than yuri. both of them NEED to have elements of both for you to classify it as either! but sometimes if the relationship has an equal amount of yuri and yaoi elements, then it's okay to use them interchangeably, it just needs to specifically have the same amount of yuri and yaoi elements in the relationship.

something i have changed from that post is that i made tsubaoi yuriyaoi rather than kyoshino, which is because they both have the same amount of elements of yuri and yaoi. (and are most alike compared to neosophi and hayakoko)

so, enough stalling, first up is yuriyaoi!

my example for yuriyaoi is actually these two guys from the persona series! (i could make an actual post of just them and it hurts that im condensing so much of their relationship, so if you would like to know more about these two, just play the game.)

^ their names are tatsuya (silly w the brown hair) and jun (the one w the bangs and is smiling so nicely)

jun and tatsuya are childhood friends that lost contact with each other because of events in the game. they are both literal parallels to each other in that they are "shadows" to each other, look similar to each other and their stories are similar (they have papa issues). but they are also opposites. jun is very soft, gentle and emotive while tatsuya is rough-looking, intense and because he is the protag for p2 he is a silent protagonist.

even with tatsuya's rough exterior he is very kind, is a bit awkward when interacting with people, and is willing to do anything for his friends. jun is good with science and astrology, while tatsuya is good at physical education (specifically sprinting). they also both exchanged treasures to each other. jun gave tatsuya his father's lighter, while tatsuya gave jun the watch his father gifted him. there was this one part in the game, where one of the characters pointed out how they are alike which made jun embarrassed but happy about it.

at the near end of the game, if you know the persona lore, there are things called shadows -- a side of someone that they dislike about themselves -- and main characters needed to fight that version of themselves. when they faced tatsuya's shadow, he taunted tatsuya and said that he hated jun. there is a choice to say if you hate jun or not, but canonically tatsuya doesnt hate jun, which is evident in eternal punishment (the other persona 2 game). it's the same as well for jun. they hate the side of themselves that tells them that they should hate the other, which causes some sort of conflict between them that is resolved based on what you say when one of the characters asked tatsuya which one of them that he likes.

if u choose jun, they will be lovers, but even if the relationship status was 'best friends', the dialogue in their contact (the first image) for them would be the same even when they are lovers. it shows that tatsuya and jun are very passionate for each other no matter their relationship, lovers or not.

now. how this kind of yuriyaoi is like tsubaki and aoi. both tsubaki and aoi have parallels to each other. tsubaki is a girl that struggles with how she sees herself and her worth like aoi, but instead of her looks it's with her singing. both tsubaki and aoi are good at singing and djing respectively, the other noticing and loving that fact about each other, but singing and djing are opposites in a way (like w jun and his love of science and tatsuya with his skill with sprinting). because with singing, all the attention is focused on you, while for djing you are almost invisible to those around.

they are, too, opposites in terms of personality, aoi is very kind, gentle and patient. while for tsubaki, she can be quite intense and brash sometimes, but is simply just awkward and has difficulty with talking to people. tsubaki can be very kind to those that she trusts and keeps her friends close to her heart and aoi does as well. tsubaki and aoi did not exchange treasures like tatsu.jun, but they did exchange words that are like it. in side origin rondo, at the part with aoi talking to a "shadow" of herself, that side of herself tells her that tsubaki, hiiro and nagisa dont care about her anymore and that she should too (similar to jun and tatsuya's shadows telling them to hate each other) before tsubaki reaches out and saying otherwise. at the first rondo unit story, aoi did the same for tsubaki as well, that reaching out being the entire reasoning rondo is rondo.

and so! before i start making this post about tsubaoi and tsubaoi only, onto yaoiyuri!

my yaoiyuri example was difficult to get because it required that it had more yaoi elements than yuri and it was not another male couple (it also had to be similar to kyoshino), but after a few seconds of thinking, i came to the conclusion to use these two:

this ^ is tendo maya (brunette) and saijou claudine (blonde) from revue starlight!

im sure some of you have heard of these two idiots, but i'll explain to those who are unaware, maya and claudine are rivals. claudine is an ex-child actress while maya comes from a family of famous actors. both of them are in the same class (both top students) and are partners in everything theater pretty much. now you must ask, where is the rivalry aspect? well, claudine keeps on challenging maya all the time in some way. in eating (who gets to eat first), in acting (look at the quote for the first image) in the underground fight club for stage girls and many more!

the reason for this rivalry was that claudine didn't really know how amazing maya was properly at first until she got humbled by maya's abilities in the audition to their school and decided that she needed to be on the same level as her, causing claudine to be the only one out of the entire class to be around the same level as maya. claudine always challenges maya and the other does not mind it, in fact, she loves it. every single time claudine challenges her, maya returns with the same amount of passion for it, causing the both of them to become better as stage girls because they keep pushing each other to their limits.

in the movie, there is these revues (search up the definition pls--) for certain pairs, one of them being these two. their revue is about claudine being a devil making a deal with maya, who is a "vessel of god", to show her a performance no one has ever seen before. during the entire revue for these two, maya says that she is perfection and that she is not a human, but at the middle point, claudine points out how prideful and arrogant maya is, showing that she is human. because of this, this causes maya to get angry at claudine and let their true battle begin. cue the homoerotic sword fighting, the faces being milimeters away from each other and really gay lines that are questionable at best. near the end, they say this:

and maya loses and says that claudine is beautiful, implying that the beautiful performance that no one has ever seen before is claudine because people focus on maya so much they dont notice claudine's accomplishments. their revue ends with the both of them promising each other to keep on being rivals until the end.

so, how does this flavor of yaoiyuri fit kyoshino? well -- it's a bit obvious -- but kyoko and shinobu are rivals as well. both of them are admirers of each other because of how skilled they are in music (like how maya and claudine admire each other for their skills in acting). both of them (shinobu and maya) are arrogant w their abilities to the point that if they do something they are unfamiliar with they get flustered easily. when the other (kyoko and claudine) first met them, they thought they were on the same level until the other (shinobu and maya) humbled them which started their rivalry.

shinobu and kyoko both challenge each other in song-making and songwriting to better each other because theyre the only ones who are on the same level as them in those abilities. they also just, yk, challenge each other in general i think.

so, this is the end of the d4dj yaoi/yuri post explanation! i hope u all enjoyed reading until the very end! i would like to thank all of those yuki.lisa posts i read in my free time that opened me to how crazy those girls were, my older sibling playing p2 and going insane over tatsu.jun, my older sibling playing fighting games and me checking out those stage girls!

#crow talks #d4dj #d4dj groovy mix #im just tagging the d4 guys apologies #neo d4dj #sophia d4dj #neosophi #hayate tendo #kokoa shinomiya #hayakoko #tsubaki aoyagi #aoi miyake #tsubaoi #kyoko yamate #shinobu inuyose #kyoshino #yayyyyyyyy #im sorry if you can tell i just got some from a vague memory which ones i remember too well it's insane and that i needed to fact check it #i had to control myself so much when it came to explaining the last two lol #edit: added in the link to the poll that started this lol #also im sorry if this is the only few posts u guys see bc of the problems in the d4 tag i did not know it would happen as i made this post