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#there is a murder on my roof
"witches are EVIL they steal men's SEMEN" nadja you eat people
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favvnsongs · 1 year
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@ap-pren-tice: The vibes are not Fukuzawa approved
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venusdebotticelli · 11 months
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Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Categories: M/M, Multi
Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach & Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Blackbeard | Edward Teach & Crew of the Revenge (Our Flag Means Death), Blackbeard | Edward Teach & Israel Hands, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Crew of the Revenge (Our Flag Means Death), Israel Hands, Fang (Our Flag Means Death), Frenchie (Our Flag Means Death), Other Character Tags to Be Added
Additional Tags: Time Travel, Crack Treated Seriously, Character Study, Humour, Identity, Self-Worth Issues, Self-Discovery, Self-Acceptance, POV Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Unreliable Narrator, Blackbeard | Edward Teach Deserves Nice Things, Young Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Blackbeard | Edward Teach Has ADHD, (just like in canon. especially obvious since this is his pov anyway), Post-Season/Series 01, Co-Captains, Established Relationship, post-reunion, Man cheerfully bullies himself, Despite his best efforts it results in some genuine self-reflection, Aging, And the pains of having to witness it on yourself with no previous warning, Canon-Typical Historical Inaccuracy (Our Flag Means Death), The Arcane Ways Of The Sea, Cats may possibly be witches, Illiterate Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Literate Blackbeard | Edward Teach, He contains multitudes what can I say?, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Beta Wanted
"Fuck me!" Ed says when he finally takes in the situation. The situation in question seemingly being a younger version of himself, mid-twenties, right on the prime of the whole Blackbeard schtick, crouched defensively on deck and surrounded by half of the Revenge's crew. The Babybeard, for his part, has been shrewdly sizing him up, trying to be all subtle about it, but now makes a show of dubiously eyeing him up and down. "Seems to me you'd be getting the better end of that deal, Old Man." Oh, he is absolutely fucking delightful, all wound up and prickly and still convinced he has shit-all to prove to anyone at all. Ed is going to have so much fun crushing his entire worldview! "Aww, don't dismiss the value of experience," he winks, "I know a lot more about what you like than you do." He punctuates this with a delicate sip of his tea, pinky out, an airy swish of the sleeve of his wrapping gown. ~ The Mad Devil Pyrate Blackbeard has been living in kinda-retired bliss for a couple of years now, mostly going by Ed these days and enjoying a spoiled and pampered life as The Infamous Captain Edwards's co-captain, when he is abruptly faced with his worst and most fucking annoying foe yet: Himself.
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tunderilona · 9 months
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have you guys read those thomas brezina books about the step sisters who are witches.... i was obsessed with them
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moodboard-jlf23 · 10 months
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Bucket list item--unlocked! Dream future home, an apartment in Villa Riviera
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ear-motif · 5 months
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the night terrors in that house must be insane
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apologeticaugur · 11 months
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i'm not a person i'm just wearing skin fabric i've pulled over my skeleton
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makorragal-312 · 1 year
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Spencer is better than me because the moment I found out I had to go back to living with my cheating-ass dad, I’m staying my ass in prison till my release date and then finding a hotel. 
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krippe90 · 2 years
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This heatwave is making people fucking pissed off all the time. Including me.
Just this morning some tiny Karen, in her 50′s or so, was being a cunt to the cashier at our local grocery store because Karen couldn’t pay with some dumbass card or some shit, and the cashier didn’t know what to do. The cashier was new since I’ve only seen her like three times before. To note: she is of middle eastern descent with a slight accent and at most 20 years old, so the Karen was of course starting to go on about the downfall of Swedish society or some bullshit and I could see the poor girl’s face starting to tear up.
I’m typically Swedish in that way where I avoid confrontations with strangers at all cost. but after working for 3 hours in a hot dorm, building Ikea furniture while sweating my balls off, I just fucking lost it at her cuntish attitude.
I interrupt her rant and said “HEY! Have you tried not being such a fucking cunt (aka: Jävla Fitta in Swedish) for five fucking minutes out of your day?! It’s not her fault you’ve managed to live as a fucking dumbass your entire life without properly learning how to pay with a card!".
Now I’m a peaceful guy. But with my shaved head, tattoos (pentagram, etc), bushy beard, and somewhat big frame (192 cm/105 kg), I am aware that I can come off as somewhat threatening if you don’t know me.
She takes a look up at me, and I’m already red in the face and angry looking from this fucking heat and getting noticeably angrier. Also I’m in my work pants and tank top so I don’t look like my usual computer nerd-self. It looked like she was about to start going off on me but I just roared “GIT! (Swedish: STICK!)” and she did! Left her unpaid packet of milk and buns and just stormed the fuck out of there!
I gotta tell you, it was the highlight of my year. I’m gonna start scaring Karens more often. Incredibly satisfying. 10/10. I recommend it to anyone who has the ability.
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uglycarp · 1 year
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Oh to be awaken in the middle of the night by the horrid scream of a bird being murdered
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thegoliathbeetle · 9 months
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my villain origin story is dealing with paypal in any capacity
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dromaeo-sauridae · 1 year
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:p
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veganhamsalad · 11 months
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Other people have done big family guy vids but if i was still a tiktok guy i think i'd like to make no frills notable moments flat faced recounts. Family guy has become incredibly
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reyeslonestar · 2 years
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I am pretty surprised that they didnt introduce Jake in ep 5 tbh, bc it would have been a natural place to do it - and theyve included things throughout the show that they wouldnt need to include if they weren’t planning to introduce him at all
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lord-pigeon · 2 months
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My first thought rewatching this scene
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