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last-flight-of-fancy · 3 months

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What's in a Soul?

this started out as crackfic... and it still is but also i can't help myself, it's now crack treated semi-seriously. (not canon to my WoL... mostly.)

WoL: Hallima, Au Ra, He/They

Timeline: Ranges

Spoilers: Shadowbringers, the last five minutes of Endwalker specifically, lv. 70 Dark Knight questline

Summary: Between Ardbert, Esteem, and Myste, Hallima's head is getting a bit busy.

There are rumours about the Warrior of Light, hushed whispers between mugs of drink and dark alleys. This is no surprise of course, always there are bad faith actors looking to besmirch a beloved hero’s reputation, regardless of how true their claims are. The whispers speak of the Warrior of Light talking to himself like a madman, or behaving in erratic and uncharacteristic ways, that they will answer to different names, that they are unstable and dangerous.

To many that even if the rumours were true it would make little difference; the champion of Eorzea had made such significant, tangible differences in their lives that a little eccentricity was of little consequence. Whether it was the result of battle madness or just a few too many knocks to the head, the good they had done gave the Warrior significant grace in the eyes of many a citizen.

And thank goodness too, because these rumours are absolutely true, thought largely not for the reasons most would assume.

“Bit dim, isn’t he?” Esteem muses, watching the scene before them with bemusement, and Hallima can practically feel the raised eyebrow from his ephemeral other.

“He’s bringing joy, in his own way. I think?” Myste murmurs, a touch befuddled.

There is a resounding cackle from their third companion, a baffled but still somehow delighted Ardbert. Hallima for his part is entirely immune to this by now, and bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from emoting and looking like a lunatic.

…Then again, given present company of Hildabrand and associates, perhaps that would just make him fit right in.

“Your meal, ser.”

Hallima eagerly takes the warmed plate from the servers hands, placing some gil to replace it. They lift the lid and take a deep, satisfied breath of the waiting meal. The waiter takes their leave, and is professional enough to make no askance expression at what they must surely know is within. Which is exactly what Hallima is paying them for, and is grateful for it. They’ll have to come back here when they want this particular treat again.

It’s nothing too horrible, lest you let your imagination run wild, and in the further eastern regions where Au Ra range more commonly such a meal would not net a second glance. But in the more western Gridania where Hallima has made their home and spent much of their childhood, it is…. significantly less common.

While Au Ra are not obligate carnivores, they do come fairly close as far as most of the upright races go, so Hallima is quite delighted to indulge in things like Honeyed Grubs and Roasted Slug in a way that Ardbert, a born Hyur, notably is not. (Mi’quote and Hrothgar also tend to lean towards and prefer meats, but their preference is in.. well, meat. Bugs tend to be considered something of an eccentric delicacy at best or desperation resort outside of Au Ra.)

“Ugh-“ The disgusted gagging inside Hallima’s head is not a surprise anymore. “Why is it that half the time I wake up and look you’re eating those- those things-!”

“I like them.” Hallima mutters quietly to themself between bites of delicious, honey smothered grubs.

“They’re fine.” Esteem mutters from whatever back corner he sometimes exists in.

“Gods only know how.” Ardbert gags again. “The texture alone…”

“They make them happy.” Myste says. And then smothers a gag of his own. Everyone’s a critic.

Hallima half shrugs shallowly enough that to an outsider it would look as if they were merely adjusting their position. They slurp another meaty morsel, much to Ardbert’s disgust.

“They’re from your world.” Hallima points out. “I had to import the recipe to the Source and then make adjustments for ingredients that were different or don’t exist here in the Source.”

“You mean you paid someone to do that.” Esteem points out.

“Yes I mean I paid someone else to do that.” Gil well spent, as far as Hallima is concerned. Much to Ardbert’s dismay.

“And here I thought you were a hero to your fellow man. Turns out you’re some kind of sadist.”

The first request comes as no surprise, common as it is for random people to ask Hallima to be their work chocobo for them. Whether it’s their obvious stature as an adventurer sort or simply their… well, stature, is irrelevant in the end. It happens all the time.

By the fourth consecutive request running between market stalls for the flighty Mol girl, even Hallima’s legendary patience is worn thin.

“There you are!” She greets them, just a little too up-beat. “I just got the most wonderful deal on seeds, thank goodness you were here. But I think I’ve sprained my ankle in my rush, could you carry everything back for me? Thanks so much!”

Without missing a beat or waiting for a confirmation, she skips off. Hallima watches her go, trying very hard not to simply drop everything.

“Do it.” Esteem grumbles. “Her ankle is clearly fine.”

“Wouldn’t be very champion-like.” Hallima grumbles to himself, bending to pick up the last large bag and tying it next to the rest of the girls spree on their chocobo.

“Who cares?”

“I do. Unfortunately.”

“At least spit in the seeds or something.”

It’s tempting.

Esteem is often quiet whenever Hallima goes to visit Sid and Rielle. Myste never speaks at all. It’s a mystery as to why (it’s not a mystery at all, Hallima just knows better than to go needling him for details).

They’re never quite sure if Sid has put what happened behind them, or if he just doesn’t know how to ask. After all, it isn’t every day your comrade/pupil/inheritor of your beloved late friends soul crystal seems to spawn multiple other people out of the aether… One of which takes the appearance- or at least armour- of said late friend.

Tact isn’t exactly Sid’s strong suit, so if he did want to ask he probably would, and it would be an awkward conversation at best. Rielle for her part seems to accept the situation- however it appears to her- simply as is, which probably makes her the most emotionally stable of the three. Which isn’t saying much, and is a rather depressing thought if one looks too closely at it.

(“You know, most people drown their sorrows in drink. Simpler then whatever… all that was.” Sid grumbles to Rielle late one night shortly after said incident, deep into his own cups.

“Or they get therapy.” Rielle says placidly, sipping at her mug of water. Sid glances at her askance.

“Which is?”

“It’s. Hm.” Rielle tries to think how to explain, but the hour is late and Sid isn’t likely to remember anyway. “Something all three of us need, probably.”

“Hm. If you say so.”)

“Stop dawdling, put on the blue like always and let’s go.” Esteem grumbles while Hallima frowns into a mirror, hand hovering over the assortment of lip paints.

“I’m fully capable of putting on my own makeup, thank you.” Hallima grumbles, taking the opportunity to speak aloud to them since they’re alone for once. They pause over a deep teal they’ve hardly touched despite liking the colour quite a bit.

“I still think you should do red.” Ardbert supplies helpfully. Hallima hums.

“Did red for a while. Doesn’t show up well on my skin. Not without applying more layers than I care to.”

“Pity.” Ardbert sighs. “I can see it looking quite nice on you.”

“I'll admit I did look quite fetching.”

“Surely we have better things to be doing.” Esteem sighs, sounding more resigned than actively resentful.

“You said I should put myself first more.” Hallima says levelly. “So this is me, putting myself first.”

“Which is all well and good, but you know I meant more in the sense of grinding yourself to dust while the world takes advantage of your kindness.”

“Mad because you never had the chance to do these things yourself, are you?” Ardbert says, and Hallima has the feeling that if there were more bodies involved here there may have been fists thrown, from the noises Esteem makes in response to the tease.

Leofard leaves exactly zero question as to what he’s offering, and Hallima must admit to no small amount of interest. Said interest is beast rarely awakened, and what with the world nearly ending (repeatedly) there has been little and less time for such diversions. A good night with a trusted companion is a tempting one.

“Hallima I swear on the twelve if you sleep with that man I’m going to hide all your crafting materials on you.”

Ardbert doesn’t even believe in the twelve, as far as Hallima knows. He’s been in the source too long.

“But… Aymeric…” Myste is a little mystified.

“Knows Hall better than to assume monogamy, which is overrated anyway.” Esteem does Hallima a favour and mentally scruffs the boy, whisking them both to some back corner where they don’t have to witness what comes next.

Leofard grins saucily at them, and Hallima grins back. He’s tall and pretty and entirely (justifiably) confident in himself. Honestly, Hallima can’t not bed him.

Ardbert groans loudly and at length.

Zenos is monologuing, and Hallima really, really wishes he would get to the point. When he finally does it’s exactly what they all expected: Fight Me.

“Not like there’s anyone else here to get caught in the crossfire.” Ardbert gives the impression of a shrug.

“Do it. Fight him.” Esteem says with all his usual confidence. “He’s only going to turn up to be a nuisance again later if you don’t.”

”I feel bad for him.” Myste rarely shows during battle, and this will likely be just as breif. “Driven so far just to feel anything at all…”

"It is sad, in a way." Ardbert says.

Hallima thinks of the hundreds- maybe thousands- of people this man has directly murdered. Murdered so completely that not even their souls remain to return to the cycle of life.

“Didn’t say it was an excuse.” Ardbert shrugs again.

“Let me fight him.” Esteem whispers in Hallima’s metaphorical ear. “Rest.”

No, they won’t do that, no matter how tempting it is or how bone deep exhausted they are. Not alone. Hallima’s eyes narrow, lips pursing. Zenos waits patiently, dead eyes always watching.

“I’ll admit,” Ardbert adds, only with a touch of contrition. “It sounds fun.”

And alright, fine, it does in a way. Hallima does love a good spar. It’s the whole ‘to the death at the end of the universe’ thing they’re not quite so jazzed about.

They have a pair of kids of get back to after all. The Scions. Sid and Rielle and Aymeric and Pipin and more. Their family.

They’d promised.

“Do you even know how to get back?” Esteem continues. “We might as well, really.”

‘I don’t have our sword right now.’ Hallima thinks. It’s hit and miss whether their thoughts alone get through to Esteem and Ardbert as words, but these ones do it seems, as Esteem shakes it away dismissively.

“I’m no fool, while it is not my preference I am still you, after a fashion. The way of the dragoon is not unknown to me. Now enough talk, let us fight!”

Hallima sighs and brings their lance to bear. Zenos smiles.

“You can think whatever you want of my motivations, Zenos. I don’t care. Let’s finish this.”

Zenos smiles, caring just as little for Hallima’s answer as Hallima was of the question. It was only a necessary preclude to what he truly wanted, and now the battle is joined.

Esteem howls in delight as he pushes to the fore, determined to take the first strike. Ardbert is not far behind, ready to shift into the defensive as needed. And in the centre of them is Hallima, with each calculated step made in hurried, unceasing succession.

And when all is said and done, when their body collapses and Zenos whispers his final words into the sky, Myste whispers them with him, and they find a strange sense of closure there.

Hallima has one thought as Alisaie cries over them, their body still broken and limp despite the amount of healing magicks that had been poured into it.

‘Esteem I’m going to kill you.’

“It’s FINE you’re FINE she’s FINE I fail to see what the problem is!”

“If I may, I do believe we all deserve a good strong drink after all this.” Ardbert says. Hallima thoroughly concurs, voicing this thought aloud.

“Absolutely not.” Y’shtola says sternly. “Maybe after a normal battle and normal amounts of healing would a drink not go awry, but this was no normal battle and you in no normal condition.”

“Wh- How long then?” Ardbert asks as Hallima tries to stifle a groan. They really wanted that drink. Or ten.

“Not to worry, I’m sure you’ll be up and about in no time.” Alphinaud tries to comfort, though his relieved smile has yet to leave his face. “And then you can have all the drinks you like.”

“You’re paying.” Hallima tries to joke, but Alphinaud shakes his head.

“After all this? I will foot your tab for life if you so wish.”

“Alphinaud,” Ardbert says solemnly. “You are my favourite twin.”

“Do not play favourites with our children.” Esteem scoffs. “It’s crude.”

Hallima ignores them both, pulling said twins into the tightest hug they can manage…. Which isn’t all that tight at the moment, considering the state they’re in, but it’s the thought that counts.

Despite years of evidence to the contrary and a star-wide reputation, Hallima never considered themselves particularly antsy or full of wanderlust. It was just sort of something they had fallen into, as an orphan with few other prospects, with no real conscious decision for it.

They are being forced to rethink that stance now.

“Another round?” Ardbert asks, having lost yet another game of Triple Triad to his host. Despite that, he doesn’t sound bored or resigned. Lucky him. Hallima is ready to start climbing the walls like the lizards they so closely resemble.

“How about literally anything else.” Hallima leverages themselves to their feet, and gets all of three steps before Esteem’s indignant squawking rings through their head.

“Hallima Shimaru you will sit your ass back down NOW.”

“But-“ Hallima looks longingly at the door, which suddenly feels malms away.

“SIT.” Esteem barks. “Y’shtola said at least a week and if you refuse to take care of yourself I will do it for you. And I will not be kind about it.”

Hallima groans but sits obediently. Mostly because they know Esteem isn’t bluffing.

“Our very own island, huh?” Ardbert hums thoughtfully. “Certainly a step up from your single room apartment back in Gridania.”

“And malms beyond the bridge.” Myste says, more to himself than anyone else. “Cold and damp but at least we were hidden from rain and beasts and prying eyes. The troll wishing it could be the toll keeper.”

Hallima hasn’t thought about that bridge in years at this point. It’s a weird thing to feel nostalgic for… Not that they particularly want to return there. The few times they had to travel that area without the use of Aytherites they’d gone out of their way to avoid that particular crossing, much to the annoyance of the merchant they had been escorting, and the confusion of Thancred, who they’d been travelling with at the time.

“We still must build upon it before it will become habitable.” Esteem points out, but with less of his usual dourness than usual. It seems even he is looking forward to the prospect.

“Good thing I put all that time into my artistry.” Hallima grins, cracking their knuckles and suppressing a wince when the motion pulls at still only recently healed wounds. “This’ll be a cinch.”

“Well then,” Ardbert’s grin can be heard in his words. “Where do we start?”

#flight's making things again #fanfic #fanfiction #ff14 #ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14

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hawks-supremacy · 3 years

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In Your Shadow

Summary: Living life in your brother’s shadow wasn’t fun, it was quite the opposite actually.

Pairings: None? Iwaizumi x Reader at the very end.

Warnings: Swearing, angst?

Genre: Mostly angst, fluff at the end

Word Count: 1.6k

Being the younger sister of Oikawa Tooru has never been easy. People worship the ground he walks on and barely even notice you’re there. Even as kids people always saw him as the pretty athletic one and you were the nerdy one who didn’t want to join a sport or club. It didn’t matter if you two practically looked like twins, he would always be the prettier one. You think it’s because he’s the star of the volleyball team while you just sat on the sidelines observing but never cheering. You were used to people using you to get close to him. Granted you didn’t realize that it was happening until you were in middle school when your friends always wanted to hangout at your place and never theirs. You were never included in plans unless they were taking place at your house. Only when your brother was home. People pretended they liked you just so they could get closer to Tooru. It was a constant cycle of this, you didn’t mind. Rather wanting to be surrounded by fake friends than have no one. Sure it hurt but you could never be mad at Tooru, he wasn’t to blame. He didn’t know he was the reason why you had new friends every month, the new ones somehow faker than the last. You kept a smile on saying you understood when people told you they didn’t want to hangout anymore.

You were never mad at Tooru, even as kids. You were never mad at the fact that your parents always forgot about your dance recitals as a kid because they would rather attend his Volleyball games. You didn’t get mad when your parents didn’t buy you new ballet shoes because they just bought a Volleyball net for Tooru to practice at home. You didn’t get mad when you told your dance teacher you were quitting dance. You didn’t get mad as you walked home as you cried because your parents forgot to pick you up from your last dance class that day.

You decided to finally join the art club during your first year, trying something for yourself. Deciding that Aoba Johsai was going to be different than when you were a kid and in middle school. You didn’t get mad when you sat surrounded by your art projects long after the art showing had been done. You didn’t get mad that your parents hadn’t shown up instead deciding to go to a practice match your brother was having with another school. You didn’t get mad as you watched them exit the school with your brother forgetting you were still at the school. You didn’t get mad because Iwaizumi, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki had shown up and complimented your work. You didn’t get mad as you cried as they pulled you into a hug offering to walk you home. You weren’t mad as you quit the art club to become the volleyball team manager instead.

You could never be mad at your brother. Not even when you started receiving his confession notes in your locker during your first year at Aoba Johsai. The false hope that filled your heart when the letter fell from your locker quickly shattered when you realized it was for Tooru. You still couldn’t bring yourself to blame him as you tucked the fifteenth love letter for Tooru in one week into the quickly growing pile at the corner of your locker. Not getting mad when one was finally addressed to you but it was someone wanting you to put in a good word for them and thought you would only talk to them if you had thought you were getting confessed to.

You couldn’t get mad when he took the first real friends from you. Telling you that you couldn’t hang out with him and his friends because they were only his friends and not yours. So you stopped hanging out with Mastukawa and Hanamaki going back to the friends who never wanted to get to know you. You stopped hanging out with the only people who ever bothered to learn your favorite color.

You didn’t get mad when his fangirls stopped you from going into the gym during his practice. You didn’t get mad when you cried after they hurled insults at you comparing you to Tooru. You didn’t get mad when you asked him to tell them to stop coming up to you and he told you they were harmless. You didn't get mad because you didn’t tell him why you wanted them to stop.

You never got mad at Tooru. You didn’t even get mad when he yelled at you for making his fangirls cry. They just wanted to support him after all. So you ignored them during the day, only letting their harsh words sink in at night.

You didn’t get mad at Tooru when he sternly told you the Iwaizumi was off limits because he was his best friend because he had caught you staring at the ace for a second too long. You didn’t get mad as you decided to push the feelings down, trying hard to not let them resurface. You weren’t mad at Tooru when Iwaizumi had started questioning why you had grown distant from him, Matsun and Maki.

You couldn’t get mad at Tooru. Not even if you tried, because at the end of the day it was your fault. Maybe it could’ve been stopped if you had told Tooru. If you told him what was going on. Told him he was the reason you quit dance and art. Told him he was the reason you never really had any friends. Told him his fangirls were harsh and cold towards you. Told him that Matsun and Hanamaki were your first real friends. However, you never told him. So you had no right to get mad at him, only at yourself.

You broke when one of his fangirls pushed you too far. Pulling on your hair causing you to fall and scrape your arm. You broke when he yelled at you for fighting back. You broke when he yelled at you when he caught Iwaizumi cleaning and helping bandage the deep scrape on your arm. You broke when he took Iwaizumi and silently left to go to practice. You broke when you saw how sorry Iwaizumi looked as your brother dragged him away from you. You were finally mad at Tooru.

You were mad as you angrily swiped at your face hoping to get rid of the tears. You were mad as you went to your locker and grabbed the bundle of confession notes that people had wanted you to give to him but you never did. You were mad when you harshly shoved his fangirls out of your way to the gym. You were mad as you shoved open the doors. You were mad as you walked up to Tooru, the whole gym staring at you. You were mad as you threw the letters at Tooru, watching as they went everywhere. You were mad as you were still crying.

You were mad as you were calmly talking not finding the energy to yell, “Take your fucking letters Tooru. Take your fucking friends. Take your fucking praise. Take our fucking parents. I don’t care anymore. I don’t care that our parents never made time for me. I don’t care that I’ve never had real friends. I don’t care that I’ve never had a genuine connection with anyone. I don’t care that your fangirls were mean to me. I don’t care that you told me to stay away from the only real friends who cared about me. I don’t care. You know what I do care about? You. I care about you and you never cared about me. It’s fucking ridiculous, I’m ridiculous. I cared about someone who didn’t know they were unintentionally hurting me. I cared about someone who couldn’t open their eyes and see how selfish they were being. I don’t care anymore so just take everything Tooru. Just like you already have.”

You were mad that you regretted saying those words. You were mad that you felt bad seeing the look of guilt and hurt on Tooru’s face as Iwaizumi led you out of the gym. You were mad that even as Iwa was wiping away your tears you told him to go make sure Tooru was okay. You were mad at yourself. You shouldn’t have been. You had every right to be mad, just maybe not at Tooru. Be mad at your parents. At the fangirls, at the fake friends you had. Not Tooru. You were still crying when Matsun and Maki took over as Iwaizumi went to go check on Tooru like you had asked. You were still crying when they took you to your favorite diner and bought you your favorite foods.

You were still crying when you finally got home and Tooru hugged you as you walked into the living room. You cried harder when he started apologizing. Apologizing for never noticing you. Never noticing the hurt and trouble you went through just for him. Apologizing for taking your life away from you. Apologizing for always being in the limelight and never giving it to you. You cried when he apologized for taking away your first friends. You cried when he told you you could be friends with them, that he didn’t care. As long as you were happy. You cried when he gave you permission to date Iwaizumi saying the ace had feelings for you too.

You laughed as said person smacked the back of his head. You laughed as you watched them bicker back and forth. You laughed when Matsun and Maki started making bets on who would win the argument this time. You let out a laugh that wasn’t forced for the first time in a while. You smiled genuinely for the first time in the longest time. You were happy that Tooru wasn’t mad at you for yelling at him. Happy that you had real friends. Happy when Iwaizumi asked you out. You were finally happy.

#hq oikawa #oikawa imagine #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa angst #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi imagine #iwaizumi fluff #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagine #haikyū!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader #aoba josai x reader

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gladerwolfstarkimagines · 3 years

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Not just a soft princess - Azula x female reader imagine: Part Four

You are torn between your growing feelings for Azula and the fact you can’t forget all the harm she’s done in the past but if one place can help you think it’s the Ember Islands.

Part one here

Part two here

Part three here

Part five here

Part six here

Your POV

You arrived on the island early in the morning after travelling all night and you mind has been occupied by Azula the whole way. You’d liked a handful of girls before but none of them ever made you feel as excited and happy as Azula and that kiss....but you also couldn’t stop that surging guilt that followed every fond thought of Azula you had. She was the reason you were here and not in your city. You’d heard your people were fine but you couldn’t be sure. For all you knew Azula had laid waste to your city and spared the dai li and you just because you appealed to her. You didn’t believe that at all but every time she looked at you the thought flickered into the back of your mind and you were struggling to see anything else.

To make matters worse Azula was evidently still experiencing the bliss you had yesterday and was being coy and attentive to you. As the island came into view she appeared at your elbow smiling “it has only just occurred to me that all your clothes we brought are useless, here you cannot wear green as we are supposed to blend in”. “Ow...what will we do?”. Azula shrugged “I’ve sent a messenger hawk back to the palace asking them to send some clothes and I sent one ahead asking for some to be purchased for you until they arrive. All red of course” Azula smiled and looked at you waiting for a reaction. You knew she expected some playful banter like before but you just weren’t feeling it today. “Thanks” you nodded and you saw Azula hesitate, her smile fell away and you felt the familiar conflict rise. “I mean it, thank you” you smiled squeezing her hand before stepping away to go sit next to Ty lee. You saw the confused and almost hurt look on Azula’s face and had to look away...of all the times to be sent on a holiday together why did it have to be now?

As the day went on your resolve to stay away from Azula slipped further and further away. On the beach you watched amused as Azula complained about everything and noticed how adorable she looked when angry. Ty lee and Mai had abandoned the two of you so you were alone together and it was hard not to become swept up in your feelings. A guy had offered to help you lay out your towel and when you dismissed him abruptly Azula’s lazy smile made you feel weak. So you were already slipping and then Azula decided to show off her athletic side. You’d never played volleyball before so Azula said you could just watch. So you did just that and found yourself enjoying the show nicely. Azula was obliterating the competition and your jaw actually hung open as she kicked the ball so hard it caught fire before ripping through the net and sending the other team flying. You watched her, the net around her still smouldering and had to look away, you could’ve sworn she was doing it on purpose. You smiled admiring how happy she looked before that thought flickered in your mind again and you looked down with a heavy sigh.

Azula’s POV

Azula felt the thrill of her victory as she glowered over the other team informing them of their shame in case they didn’t already know. She was feeling good and confident. Something had been off with you all day but she’s noticed you watching her in the game so she knew your attraction to her was still there. However when she glanced back at you after the game was over she saw you weren’t even watching. You were tracing the sand a large worried frown on your face. Azula’s smile fell away as she watched you. What was upsetting you? Had her father done something? Zuko? You glanced up and as soon as you met Azula’s eye you looked away. So it was her Azula realised. She was the reason you were upset. Azula had no idea what she’d done and suddenly felt a surge of anger. How dare you be mad at her! After all she’d done to save your life, what could you possibly have against her? But as Azula’s heart continued to hammer she realised she wasn’t angry, not really, she was upset. She felt worried you didn’t like her anymore, embarrassed at the idea that like everyone else you’d realised she wasn’t good enough but overshadowing all of that was just a sinking sad feeling. She’d been ecstatic when you made the first move and actually went out of your way to show her you liked her. She’d felt excited and just joyously happy and then...then it all went away and Azula couldn’t figure out why. She didn’t know how she’d messed this up too but she knew it was her fault. It always was.

Your POV

After the show on the beach you got invited to a party. You didn’t want to go but Ty lee insisted you had to and so you obediently agreed. You and Azula had by chance got stuck sharing a room and the tension in the air as you got ready was painful. Azula had evidently caught onto your caution and she had been off with you and everyone ever since. You hated thinking about how just a few hours ago she’d been blissfully happy and now she just looked blank. Her face was a mask and you couldn’t tell if she was holding back anger or sadness. Either one was bad but you hoped it was anger, the thought you’d made her sad...that hurt.

You and Azula finished getting ready first and if sharing a room in tense silence wasn’t bad enough she caught you waiting by the door to leave. Azula came around the corner and you jumped as she spotted you. It would’ve been awkward for Azula to retreat and so instead she leant against the wall but kept her distance from you. “I guess we’re the first ones ready” you commented and Azula nodded “looks like it”. She tried to act unbothered and cold but you could tell it was an act, the fact she seemed unable to look you in the eye proved that. Unable to keep this up any longer you sighed “Azula I need to talk to you”. Azula immediately straightened and looked around to make sure nobody was around “no not here”. “But it’s important!” you tried but she shook her head “no y/n!”. You sighed and went to argue when the others appeared. “There you two are! You both said you didn’t want to go and you’re the first one’s ready! I bet you’re secretly excited aren’t you?” Ty lee asked and Azula rolled her eyes “I can assure you I am not” and she stormed past you out the front door.

As soon as you got to the party Azula headed as far away from you as she could and you watched her with a sad look. “Has something happen with you two?” Mai asked and you quickly shook away your expression and smiled “no of course not, Ty lee want to get a drink with me?”. “Okay!” Ty lee agreed and you rushed off with her hoping the peppy acrobat would take your mind off Azula.

Your plan failed. Ty lee was soon side-tracked by a swarm of men and you struggled not to show your contempt for them. They gradually worked you out from your spot next to Ty lee and you just accepted it, watching the party alone or more accurately watching Azula. The party wasn’t so big she could totally avoid you and so you’d gotten glimpses of her all night. Watching Azula pretend to be a normal teenager was oddly endearing. You watched her glare at anyone who passed her while also staring longingly at the happy teenagers. Her posture and expression got worse as time went on and you worked out she was having just as bad a time as you. You were contemplating going over to her when a man knocked into her. Azula had him twisted painfully against the wall, arm behind him in a tight lock, seconds later “you made me spill my drink you clumsy oaf!” she yelled. “Sorry” the boy babbled and she rolled her eyes in disgust before letting him go. The boy rushed away and Azula sighed “idiot”. Azula saw you smiling and her own eyes softened too. You thought she was going to smile too but she just ripped her eyes away from you and walked away.

She went to the drinks to grab some napkins to clean the mess that boy had made. You saw her sigh as only one napkin was left and she angrily attempted to use the single one to mop herself up. You saw some on a nearby table and grabbed them going over. “Here” you offered. Azula glanced at them before looking away “i’m fine”. You sighed “Azula just take them...”. “I said i’m fine” Azula snapped and you ran a hand through your hair. “I know you’re angry at me but please can we just talk? Can you give my 5 minutes to just explain?”. “Fine” Azula said suddenly making you jump “but not here” and she took off for the front door rapidly. You rushed after her and followed her as she made her way outside. She found a place far enough away from the house and then spun on you “talk”. Her tone was sharp and her body language intimidating but you weren’t scared or worried, just sad. "So you’ve probably noticed I’ve been off since we got here”. “That’s an understatement” Azula snapped “you practically flinch whenever i’m near you, you smile at me one moment and then can’t bare to even meet my eye the next” Azula spat “yes you’ve been off”. You sighed “I know I’ve been cold and I’m sorry I didn’t mean to....let me just start from the beginning”.

"So after i kissed you, i was ecstatic because i really like you" you started and Azula looked away her cheeks slightly pink "but then i started thinking...what my nation would think. Was I betraying them by liking you? You’re kind and nice to me but are you like that to everyone else? I started worrying I didn’t really know you and that I was being naive...I mean you took over my country and i was running around the palace with you" you sighed "and i know you only did that for your father but does that make it better?". Azula paused "well it was a war y/n casualties are a given". "Yes but we never started or engaged in the war, our crime was existing". "You don’t think Long Feng knew?” Azula asked. "He knew but he didn’t do anything to provoke an attack! All we did was take in refugees, we got attacked for no other reason, i’m technically your prisoner and i’m here admiring how you play volleyball" you sighed "it’s just a lot to process and so that’s why I’ve been so distant, I’m just trying to work out what I should be feeling and what I owe my people". Azula was quiet for some time before speaking "i don’t regret any of the thing i’ve done, to your home or you, i would do them again and i think if you were in my shoes you would too but i do regret that they hurt you” Azula said carefully "i’d hoped to have minimised that for you but i see i haven’t...I am sorry for that and that you’re upset. I like you too and even though i just said all that about what i’ve done to your home i do wish i didn’t have to do it...that it didn’t have to happen like that but the fact is it did happen. I don’t know what this means or where it leaves us but that’s my honest opinion". You looked at Azula unsure what to say. She was trying but was it enough when by her own admission she’d do it again? You sighed "i think i just need some space i like you but i’m not sure i should, so i need to think about that". Azula didn’t react she just nodded her head and left. Her reaction was a lot better than what you’d expected so why did you feel so guilty? You thought after you’d explained yourself to her you’d feel better but if anything it just made you feel more miserable.

You didn’t see Azula the rest of the party and figured she was avoiding you. When Mai grabbed you and told you see wanted to leave you were only too happy to oblige, but Ty lee suggested you go down to the beach and so you ended up doing that instead. When you spotted Azula and Zuko there both you and Mai tensed but you still walked to the campfire seeing no way to avoid this without being obvious. Maybe it wouldn’t be so awkward?

Of course it was.

The atmosphere was already tense due to Zuko and Mai’s break up and you and Azula just added to that. Mai and Zuko were glaring at each other while you and Azula stared anywhere but at each other. The atmosphere was so tense you weren’t surprised arguments soon broke out. Ty lee had been chattering awkwardly and Zuko got annoyed and snapped her. You listened to what he was saying to her and eventually your anger peaked. “Circus freak” Zuko spat at her and you glared. “Don’t call her that” you said annoyed. Ty lee looked so hurt by his words it made you furious “don’t lash out at her just because you’re feeling trapped”. “Trapped” Zuko asked “that’s rich coming from you...prisoner” Zuko glared and you raised your eyebrows surprised. You went to argue back when someone else intervened. “Don’t talk to her that way” Azula said suddenly and Zuko looked at her out of the corner of his eyes “why? because she’s your special play thing?”. “Because she’s a princess and deserves respect”. “Like you’ve ever shown anyone respect, you’re just saying that because you have a thing for her, don’t you?”. “Zuko...” Mai tried to warn him but Zuko shook his head “no we’ve all seen how she looks at y/n, for her to try and pretend she’s being nice to her for any other reason is ridiculous. Like Azula is anything but selfish and cruel! Why do you think our own mother feared you?”. “I don’t care about what your mother thought of me so that is irrelevant but so what if i like y/n?” Azula asked standing up and Zuko paused “what?”. “You said I have a thing for y/n and you’re right. I like y/n, i give her special treatment because she’s important to me so yes i’m selfish but can you say you don’t do the same? You put mom on a pedestal when she wasn’t a good mother, you strop behind father’s back but would never dare say anything to his face and you mope around Mai like a child with his favourite toy nobody else can touch, you’re not so noble big brother so I suggest you stop acting like it”. Azula and Zuko glowered at one another inches away from each other and you exchanged a look with Mai and Ty lee. “Zuko” Mai said and you stood up too “Azula...”. Zuko looked at Mai but Azula didn’t stop glaring at Zuko until Mai had pulled him out of her sight. Mai led Zuko away from the campfire but Azula didn’t move, she just stood there glaring at the ocean. You and Ty lee looked at one another and you could tell Ty lee was wondering what you wanted her to do. You nodded for her to follow Zuko and Mai and she did leaving you all alone.

Apart from Azula.

You turned back to her and watched as she stared out at the sea, almost refusing to turn back around. You knew she was aware you were there but still she stared off at the horizon clearly just ignoring your presence. You waited a while to see if she’d speak first or tell you to go away but when she didn’t you sighed and started to speak. “Azula I...” you started but she cut you off. "What do you want y/n?” she asked and you could hear the tired tone of her voice, the mask she’d been wearing all day was breaking. “I just wanted to thank you for what you said to Zuko...”. “I didn’t say all that to make you change your mind". "I know" you said "but still you stood up for me when you didn’t have to...thank you". Azula shrugged "he shouldn’t talk to you that way ever...nobody should". Azula turned around but she still wouldn’t look at you, she crossed her arms tightly and stared at the ground. "Azula i...i should've said something when he said those things to you, i should’ve stood up for you". Azula shrugged "i’m good at defending myself". "I know but you shouldn’t always have to!". Hearing what her relationship with her mother was like made you realise just how self reliant Azula was, her mother feared her and her father used her, did either of them just care or love her? Had anyone ever just cared for her? Azula glanced at you and she winced when she saw your expression "don’t look at me like that". "Like what?". "Like you feel bad for me just because of what Zuko said! I am fine y/n, i’ve always been fine don’t you dare pity me". "I don’t pity you". "Yes you do i can see it in your eyes". "I don’t" you said loudly "i just care about you a lot". "Yeah but you hate me more I got all that from your speech back at the party". "I don’t hate you i’m not sure i ever could" you said softly "I do hate and fear the fire nation and worry about my place there and my country and my citizens...but none of that overshadows how much i like you Azula" you stepped closer. "I like you a lot" you said simply and Azula rolled her eyes "we already did all of this you like me but you have your duty blah blah". "Forget all that" you said sharply and Azula looked at you "what?". "I’m sick of prioritising what other people think...putting what they’d expect of me before what I want! Can't i just be selfish? Can’t i have what i want?". Azula paused "and what you want is me?". You nodded your head "yes fire nation and all". You weren’t sure what it was that made you come to this realisation but as you said it, it felt right. “I know the situation i’m in...some people might think it’s weird or that it’s wrong of me to like you but I don’t care” you shrugged “you’re the only person in this whole nation who I smile when I see, who helped protect me and makes me happy, who I get excited just thinking about” you smiled “so i’d like to carry on what we started if you would?”. You stared at Azula and time seemed to endlessly drone on as you waited for her to do or say anything but after an eternity she smiled. “You should know i don’t give out many second chances" Azula smirked taking your hand. “Really? Well I guess i’m pretty lucky then”. Azula nodded her head “you definitely are but not just for me forgiving you”. “Why then?” you asked and Azula smiled “this” and crashed her lips against yours.

***

You laid in the sand staring up at the sky as the waves leapt at your feet. It was cold but Azula gave off heat so you were comfortable. Azula was laying against your chest and you held her gently. Neither of you had left this exact spot despite the time that had passed and you couldn’t imagine disentangling yourselves for anything. Everything about this was just perfect. Azula evidently thought so too. "When we go back to the fire nation we’ll find the time for more occasions like this" Azula told you. You looked down at her "we will?". "Of course" Azula replied looking up at you "i’ll just tell them it is extra sparring lessons...it won’t be far from the truth". You smiled "that’s true" and Azula grinned before glancing at your lips again. She leant in and you prepared yourself for how amazing it would feel when cold water splashed over you. You and Azula both jumped up in shock as a wave washed over you. "The damn tides!" Azula cried and you laughed "come on let’s go!". You took Azula’s hand and rushed for the path leading to the house. You both ran up to the house freezing cold and as soon as you were inside rushed to the fire. Azula fuelled it more and you both crouched before it laughing. Azula stopped laughing and just sat back and admired you. You blushed when you realised what she was doing and stood up "shall we go to our room?". Azula nodded taking your hand "i thought you’d never ask".

----

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thejudgingtrash · 3 years

Note

Can you explain to me how Rachel was annoying in the series?

Well, I’ll try to keep myself short for this one (lol no, this took an hour to write). Also, let’s not forget that they’re all kids, but I’m basing this off from when I read the series as a fourteen year old because my opinions haven’t changed much (for better or for worse).

I’m not the biggest fan of Rachel. I have to admit that portrayals of her by Simi, Kit, Logan, Apollo and all the others helped to shape her into something cooler than what she had been in my foggy memories but I actually went back to take a look in the books (well, TTC + BOTL so far) to refreshen my mind about events that have happened.

Also, you should browse through @blackjacktheboss's blog as she’s a) hilarious and b) says whatever I say in like a single sentence lol. But your ask is about me and my opinions so here we go:

What I didn’t like about Rachel was that she’s rude and bold (DON’T GET ME WRONG, I love that in female characters!!!), but she doesn’t have Annabeth’s excuse of survival of the fittest (literally running off as a traumatized seven year old) and introducing us into the world of the Riordanverse.

Percy was on his way, had shit to deal with and Rachel pretty much interrupted him from the get-go and thought getting her answers was more important than letting Percy just rush forward. Yes, this is Rachel’s entrance into the series and the net Riordan threw into the sea, to make us little fish adapt to her. But it still didn’t sit right with me, probably because I would never interact that way.

I get why she did that, but it’s the way how she did it that’s just making me go ???

Even if I was seeing weird things, I wouldn’t set out to distract/interrupt someone who is incredibly busy to get my way. Rachel’s dick move seems like a Karen boomer type of thing to pull off, but guess that’s up to you.

If I were her, I’d either film/try to photograph the monsters via phone (if that’s possible) or internet stalk enough to find the other person (note: despite Riordan’s stupid rule of not being able to use phones, demigods still can use computers/the internet, I guess). Percy was national news like a year or two ago in the timeline, so it shouldn’t be that difficult to find more stuff out about him, even in like 2008 or so. Let him have a spot on Perez Hilton's shitty gossip blog, for the OGs reading this.

Annabeth was used as a tool of exposition to introduce us to CHB, the demigod life and how things roll around there. She barged into Percy’s mission as a nuisance first but a necessity second in TLT.

However, in comparison to Rachel, Annabeth was transformed into a fully-fledged protagonist within a span of a chapter or two. Rachel needed another separate book after her first appearance, so we don’t just know Annabeth better, we know that she’s an important constant throughout the story as of Rachel seems… almost random? Is she truly necessary as a character?

This doesn’t come from a shipper perspective, this is coming from a character design perspective and adds to the feeling that the way she has been introduced to me as a reader just seems off.

Yes, BOTL makes sense with her as a reborn Ariadne, but technically Sally could’ve done the job as she’s a clear-sighted mortal as well lol. Then again, Sally is an adult, went to college, had a job, was unfortunately probably working it up with Paul, did the cha cha slide with him and had overall better shit to do.

Then Rachel as the oracle, which is just super weird in general. Wasn’t Apollo himself responsible for issuing prophecies in the OG myths? Or did he both, have the oracle of Delphi as his spokesperson and issue important stuff to Team Olympus? Am I mixing things up? I’m getting sidetracked, my bad.

Either way, this oracle gig might be the only time I’d say Rachel might be important in the future (badum tzz), but Riordan fumbled the bag in the follow ups series so there’s that. Did she even appear in HOO? Can’t remember and also don’t care.

Rachel is used as one out of three choices in regard to his love life that Percy can make. Calypso literally got introduced into BOTL and was admittedly Percy’s biggest what if… But the general gist doesn’t sit right with me. We have three possible routes with Percy and the others:

Rachel: somewhat normality in the mortal realm

Annabeth: the danger and thrill of the demigod life

Calypso: ambrosia and nectar. a hint of immortality

(On one hand, literally why but on the other hand, mad props for Percy who has literally three romantic leads in the same book.) I’d cancel one of them at least out and since Annabeth isn’t going anywhere, I’m taking Rachel. Sally could literally been Percy’s anchor to a normal mortal life as she had intended until it didn’t work out anymore when he became twelve and his monster alerting scent grew stronger.

Calypso and Annabeth would’ve been the perfect opposites where each of them had a strong case. The demigod life within the realms or mortal or the demigod life ascending to Olympus/immortality. Sounds cooler and is way simpler. Three people is way too much, this truly feels like a shonen anime harem thing and it’s defo not my cup of tea (and while some Annabeth sideships aren’t my thing (Lukabeth go cry in the corner, no one likes you, WTF, Connabeth you fugly), it’s super unfair that Annabeth solely has Percy (fuck off Luke) to rely on in regards of romantic endeavors).

Rachel almost feels redundant? The option to walk away from all of that… which isn’t really true as Rachel really tries to push and insert herself into the story the very first time we meet her? But that’s just me, I’m certain that others are saying they’d kill off Annabeth or kick Calypso (I mean yeah) into the curb.

Big ALSO:

Why does Percy need another white and uber-rich love interest?

I semi-joked on Dez’ post (@sawasawako) with this response about Annabeth needing to keep up with powerful Rachel, but the core still stands.

We already have an affluent Annabeth (granted, we don’t know exactly how the Chase’s riches are divided, whereas it’s clear that Rachel can just make anyone drop dead by saying who she is. Annabeth needed that weird lotus casino credit card to make that happen, so Miss Harvard Legacy doesn’t wield that Dare schmoney. Also don’t think Annabeth can just up papa’s money and go…? Idk).

Why do we need another person needing to upstage this?

Like Rachel has to triumph in regards to standard and prestige as if it were a badly written Jane Austen AU. For what reason…? Why not make Percy friends and acquaintances with someone who comes from a normal household for once, not super rich brats (Piper, Annabeth, Rachel, technically the Graces with their TV starlet mother amongst others).

Moreover…

Important question: why should Percy actually be impressed/attracted to that? He’s dirt poor and has been sent to (boarding) schools filled with stupid rich people since he’s been twelve, probably even younger than that. As if that’s the very first thing Percy would look out for or be wowed or something. He’s used to rich douchebags. I think he’s more surprised that someone used their money for his benefit for once and not to crash daddy’s new Mercedes again.

Like seriously… Rachel did that weird art project thing in BOTL with her covered in gold and posing like it’s a super normal thing to do? Even for rich snobbish kids standards? That sounds weird to me. I don’t know, maybe Riordan’s been streaming the new Gossip Girl reboot on HBO Max on repeat and thought this girl is on fiyah (performed by Alicia Keys).

Rachel trying to separate herself from her money just comes off as super hypocritical when she’s using the very same funds to finance her lifestyle. I get it, trying to make amends and make a difference with the damage you have done but... your father still doesn't give a shit about the environment or YOU, sweetie. Kick him in the balls for once! Then you can go out about your art projects.

The concept of Percy having friends in the mortal realm is cool, but why does Rachel almost have to compete with Annabeth with her wealth and art stuff?

No seriously, the comparisons are constantly there, out and about. Roaming freely on the finest grass, needing to be feed delicious locally sourced carrots and stuff.

Annabeth is Athena’s kid. Athena is the goddess of wisdom, weaving, justice, warfare yada yada and arts and crafts. So definitely something which would affect Rachel, right (someone write that Athena messing with Rachel because she can AU and tag me please!)?

Annabeth wants to become an architect which translates to fancy building designer who is driving engineers like Leonardo Eugenio Valdez Cortes insane irl because the maths and physics don't work like that in the working field trust me I'm an engineer, which could/should be considered an art form.

They even shared some common ground while talking about architecture and design in BOTL!

Furthermore, they both share broken homes with absent parents (granted that all demigods go through that). Wealthy families at that as well. Shitty fathers that don’t care about their daughters well-being. Rachel however, is super powerful and influential in an unseen level in the mortal world. She isn’t like Matt Sloan (?) who truly messes up by destroying shit to get his father's attention, but she’s still in that circle and can easily demonstrate that. Making deals with her father and what not. We rarely see Annabeth doing that. Did y’all forget the fucking helicopter Rachel brought along in TLO?

Pan saying Rachel is just as important as her father has multiple meanings to me…

(Sidenote: I do think it’s hilarious that Annabeth is jealous/annoyed of Rachel that her remarks were she’s cute right and Percy went??? Or when Tyson said Rachel’s pretty? Or that time when Annabeth actually defended Luke and his weird behavior (because Kronos was slowly taking over, don’t forget that kids!), because f that rich artist nepotism kid that Rachel seems to be, right?)

Another note: Percy thinks Rachel is annoying in BOTL for a while and it took a while for him to admit that and he spent way more time being annoyed/jealous (for once, Lordy) at Luke for him to even notice lol.

I guess it’s really hard for me to exactly pinpoint what’s bothering me. I believe Rachel's persona just doesn’t seem to hit right, because it feels like a knock-off Annabeth who just simply isn’t a demigod, yet has two cool powers, but in even richer who still needs to be part of the story for exactly what reason?

The jumping around from the richest in the series to the poorest in the series is kinda bothering me as if the middle class doesn’t exist, like I’ve stated earlier. Why didn’t Riordan mix it up with Rachel, giving her more nuance the minute they met, not towards the end? Have her be Percy’s platonic friend from the get go. No weird oh wait she is kinda cute in the middle bullshit.

This kinda drifted more into a Perachel vs Percabeth essay, which really wasn’t my intention. Don’t worry kids, I’m criticizing Annabeth (and her stans) enough already.

And I do think that others in the fandom have softened my views on Rachel as a person like I’ve stated in the beginning. So friendship!Perachel is popping! But I do think that there are some valid points that I’ve made.

Also not gonna lie, Rachel issuing the new prophecy in TLO kinda dampened the end of PJO series but that’s more Riordan’s fault than hers.

TLDR: I’m just not a huge fan of this overbearing, uber-rich, excessively flaunting being that Rachel sometimes displays. She’s flawed, she’s broken at times, has a semi-interesting background story (although it has been done over and over again throughout the series and should be changed up for once) which is great, but it is still annoying.

We don’t need an anti-Annabeth who feels like a weird caricature of the real Annabeth.

Also if this seems super incoherent, repetitive, or whatever, I'm sorry, massive headaches + mental health going down the goo lagoon does this to ya, I hope I made somewhat sense!

#Mel answers #pjo #percy jackson #rachel elizabeth dare #rachel dare #Annabeth chase #percabeth #pjo Meta #percy jackson and the olympians #pjato #ttc #botl #tlo

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ayellowcurtain · 3 years

Text

I can be your lover

Part 6

“I'm not sure if I should go…” Robbe says in an attempt to be reassured that it'll be fine. Nobody says anything but the awkward silence is a clear sign that they’re thinking. He looks around and nobody is as confident as he would like them to be.

“You two can't be in a room and not make out?” Milan asks with a smile on his face and Robbe knows he's asking to be annoying.

"Shut up.”

“No?!” He looks at Senne for support for his quick negative answer and the three laugh at Robbe's face. Zoe stops putting powder on her face and looking at her reflection in the mirror and turns her body around, looking at Robbe there, leaning against the bathroom door frame. They all look at each other like they’re talking inside their thoughts and Robbe is not invited.

"They're not completely wrong…” She finally says and Robbe whines, stepping back into the hallway, turning to one side to press his forehead against the white painted wood of Zoe’s and Senne’s bedroom door,

"But we'll be there with you! By your side all night long to keep you from jumping him.” Zoe reassures him, finally but Robbe doesn’t believe them anymore. He looks around again and they clearly still doubt any of that will work.

"We will?!” Senne frowns so hard he almost creates a deep and lasting crease in his forehead.

"What?!” Milan asks, outraged.

“Yes, we will. I'll even ask for Jens’ help.” Zoe claps her hands, excited with her plan and Robbe can't believe they actually think he needs that many people to keep him from making a scene, from letting it show how much Sander still affects his mood and overall behavior.

It's been years since they've last seen each other in person. Robbe thinks he learned to control himself a little better with all this time. It's not possible that he's a twenty-something man that doesn't have any control when his first - and only - boyfriend is around at a party, with all the people they know around, possibly keeping them apart for the whole night.

He doesn't know anything about the Sander he's about to see again, he might be a completely different person, someone who Robbe is not at all attracted to anymore. Everyone else still talks to him occasionally so all this worry and doubt makes Robbe think Sander might be even better and consequently more irresistible.

Zoe kicks the other two out of the bathroom once she's done with her make up and needs a quick pee before leaving her and Senne's home. She invited Robbe and Milan to join the pre game and when Robbe got there, he still wasn't sure if he was going to the main event anyway. He just wanted to hang out with them for a few hours, to try to discover if they knew if it was certain that Sander was going to Noor’s party too.

“Tell me, what are you worrying about?” Zoe asks as she pushes her underwear down under her long, vintage looking dress, sitting down to pee but still looking at Robbe, hoping he’ll explain it to her while watching her pee like it’s normal. Apparently women are comfortable peeing in front of him. Robbe sighs, not sure where to stand, deciding to sit on the edge of the bathtub, rubbing his face over and over with both his hands.

“Everything and nothing at all. He might very well look at me and have zero reactions or he can look at me in a judgy way that’ll make me remember how I was the one to ruin us and then it’ll be weird, I feel stupid for going and guilty and like everyone is staring at me, taking his side.”

He looks up at her, anxious, finding her surprised by how much thought Robbe has put into the possible scenarios he came up with by himself.

“...You’re being a little too dramatic.” She laughs softly, and Robbe bites his already short nails, looking at her, exhaling a long breath with the recognition from someone else that his emotions are making the possibilities worse than the reality will actually be at the party.

“How do you think it’ll go? Honestly!”

Zoe sighs, washing her hands and drying them, leaning against the counter to look at Robbe still sitting on the bathtub, squeezing the border to ground himself to pay attention to what she might say.

“I have no idea, Robbe.” She bites the inside of her bottom lip and Robbe waits for whatever it is to come that’s making her think twice about telling him, “You never really told me what happened in that last fight between you two…”

It’s been over a year since that last conversation on the phone but Robbe is pretty sure he remembers how it went with details like it was today. It’s his fault, sure, but he never thought they would have an actual fight, ever, not even when they were just friends before all of this.

Robbe had, again, no right to be upset or angry about what Sander was or wasn’t doing back at his new home, with his new friends and lovers. They never had a settled deal but Robbe thought it was obvious that he wasn’t going to be happy to see Sander with other people, no matter if it was the “no strings attached” bullshit. He was going to try and keep a straight face and not let it affect their friendship.

No matter if they were never actually fully together, Robbe was going to be jealous because that’s what he does when it’s about Sander. After so many years knowing each other, Robbe had in his mind and his heart, after everything they experienced until their first kiss, that Sander was the person that was made for him in this never-ending universe, no matter if that ever became a reality or kept as his private fantasy.

And Sander kept taking his hurt as a joke, as just a way of teasing Robbe, and that it would go away. It didn’t. Robbe was having a bad day that day, and he wasn’t feeling like hearing Sander’s tasteless jokes. He asked to change the subject, Sander was probably tired of the grey relationship they were having for over a year at that point and he was being mean right back at Robbe.

"I was too deep inside my insecurities. I couldn't keep my mouth shut and I had to tell him that I really liked him when he was about to leave, didn’t I? And then I constantly kept us at a distance while he was gone because it was the safer option, and he saw it and for some time he was okay with it, was letting life happen or whatever but I guess I was in a bad mood that day and he was tired at that point, and he kept making jokes about me not going to visit him and being jealous of what he could be doing there. And I got mad and he got mad because of it. He probably thought it would be fine in a few hours but I blocked him everywhere. And that was that. Now he's here and I wish I could hide and pretend I never acted like a 5 year old."

Zoe nods her head while hearing his rant, frowning a little bit, and she tries not to laugh at his desperation and Robbe slips to sit inside the bathtub, wishing he could stay there instead of going to a party that Sander will also go to.

It’s not like Zoe has anything to say to him after that and Robbe doesn’t wait for it. She helps him get out and hugs him tight, saying they’ll have a good time tonight.

He doesn't have a chance to decide if he wants or not to go through a night full of shame. Zoe and Milan drag him back home a few streets down Zoenne's place and Senne grabs some of his clothes in his closet and pushes against Robbe's chest for him to go change so they can go already. It's not at all an outfit Robbe would pick - seems too formal for him - but they're running late and even though Robbe doesn't want to go, he sees himself rushing when Milan says he has five more minutes. He looks at himself in his bathroom mirror and grabs his toothbrush to brush his teeth quickly.

Britt and Noor's place is on the other side of town - a much more artistic and hippie neighborhood - and the ride there is a little too fast to calm his nerves, squished against Milan in the backseat of Senne's sports car.

“What if he's like, married with a baby? Or if he hates me?” Robbe asks after pushing himself out of the black hole that is Senne's backseat, just between him and Zoe while the other two are still on the other side of the car.

She smiles fondly and tries to make his shirt look a little less wrinkled.

“He's not and I'm sure he can't hate you, it's impossible.” Robbe sighs because Zoe is his very good friend and would never tell him otherwise, "His hair is bleached again though.”

It's Robbe's turn to frown, surprised, his heart starting to beat even faster right away, “Why would you tell me that now?!”

“So you wouldn't be too surprised! You would give everything away the second you saw it anyway.”

"God, Zoe…” Robbe complains, letting the conversation die while Senne and Milan finally come to their side so they can cross the street.

He looks back and there are only a few cars parked close to Senne's and a vintage motorcycle. It has to be Sander's…

Robbe lets everyone go inside the building first, the elevator too and he's the last one on the line to get inside when Noor opens the door. He feels extremely embarrassed when she looks at him expectantly, hugging him tight like a mom that's hugging a son that just lost a very easy game. Like Robbe needed any more proof that this is going to be a disaster.

He walks inside carefully like he's walking into a minefield, trying to see where someone is without being seen right back. His safety net is gone, dissipated to go talk to different people as soon as they were all inside. So much for staying glued to his sides all night long.

Sander is across the room, in a corner, talking to some of Noor's friends that Robbe doesn't know very well. Once he's been localized, too busy to notice Robbe - or not caring enough that he's there - Robbe tries to calm himself down, look around the place to find someone to talk to. He feels like he's being watched but he can't bring himself to double check, scared of meeting eyes he’s trying to avoid.

Sander's hair is really bleached again like Zoe said it would, a little longer than what Sander usually likes or used to like. Maybe he changed his mind about his hair preferences too during the past years. Robbe likes it like this, softer and longer, with the dark roots peeking.

“Did you see who's here?” Aaron whispers in his ear and Robbe jumps, rubbing his hand over his ear to get rid of the tickle Aaron's breath created.

“You scared the shit out of me…” Robbe accepts the beer Aaron is offering him, with the same expecting eyes everyone seems to be giving Robbe tonight, “Yes, I have seen him.”

Aaron wiggles his eyebrows, sipping on his beer, “Did you two talk already?”

Robbe opens his beer, so tempted to just take one more look at the far corner on the left.

“No. There's nothing to talk about, Aaron.”

Robbe looks everywhere his eyes can reach without moving his body or head drastically. His anxiety is quickly building inside of him, quicker than he expected so he drinks a little more of his beer, unable to keep his mouth from going dry instantly after every sip.

It’s like his body and brain are fighting to decide what to do or to contain the other from deciding what to do. Robbe can’t think coherently and can’t move much, afraid to be caught doing something, anything. Anything feels like he’s doing something illegal at this point.

Aaron finally stops talking about whatever he was talking about and Robbe turns around, looking at the floor, wanting to go out to the balcony to see if he can breathe more easily there but he crashes into someone and he doesn’t have to look to know who it is.

“I was looking for you.” Sander smiles at him and Robbe stutters, not sure why Sander would be looking for him ever again.

“Hi…”

#wtfock #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #sobbe #robbe x sander #sobbe fic

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lonelyghosts-stuff · 3 years

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Marvel’s What If Episode 8 Reaction

What if Ultron won? Is this gonna be a continuation off of the last episode?

I wonder if The Watcher will ever step out of his solely “watching” role. Or if he’ll show up in Dr. Strange Multiverse of Madness

This episode breaks the watchers heart but not the Dr. Strange centered episode???

Ayo? Clint has the invisibility cloak???

Clint is wannabe Bucky? What??? How did he lose his arm?

Poor Russia lmao

Ah man they didn’t get James Spader for Ultron

Oof why do I have the feeling Vision is gonna die again lmao

Bruhhhh how was Thor defeated so easily by Ultron-Vision??? They should both be pretty evenly matched

Lmao wow it’s weird to see Vision talk and have it not be Paul Bettany

LMAO BRUH TONY STARK CAN’T FRIGGIN SURVIVE A SINGLE EPISODE OF THESE THINGS

OH MY GOSH POOR CLINT HE HAS A FAMILY (I mean so did everyone else but damn)

Thanos hi

THANOS BYE??? WHAT???

Wow they really just killed him like that huh? Sooooo why is this vision with the same powers more powerful than sacred timeline vision? And damn guess Thanos is made out of clay. No guts or blood. Although I’m not a fan of gore so I’m not complaining…

Soooo Thanos was a weak chump?

NOT ASGARD

LOKI WAS ON THERE THO

NO NOT THE GUARDIANS

KORG NO

hahaha bye bye grand master

Wow Ego died way too easy too

Oh damn someone knocked him down?

Ayo Captain marvel, you’re a little late. He’s already destroyed like four planets including your own.

Nice Captain marvel. Destroy the planets core. Sounds like a good idea.

Oop there she goes

And all other planets

So like… this is game over… right?

Eh I don’t feel bad for him lmao

Oh no now he’s aware of the multiverse. Nice job.

Bruh if he literally disintegrated all of the planets, why was earth left alone (albeit nuked)

Marvel tryna prove to us that these two unsuper dudes are useful lol. Don’t get me wrong, I like them, Nat is like my favorite, but it’s obvious lol.

Yo it’s the red guardian shield. It’s your dads shield nat!

Oh depressed Clint hours… can’t blame him. All of his friends beside Nat and his family are gone and there’s literally nothing he can do to bring them back…

Cmon buddy. Intervene. Who’s gonna stop ya?

Arnim Zola? I thought it was Armin Zola this whole time lol. Oopsie

I wonder how Zola is the answer?

How have the infinity stones given ultron the ability to see beyond this universe? There’s Time, Space, Power, Mind, Soul, and Reality. But from the Loki show, we know they’re not really all powerful. They only work in their timeline. That begs the question: are different timelines the different multiverses? Or does each multiverse ALSO have multiple timelines? Agh too much thinking.

Cmon buddy, interfere. DO IT.

Clint is in his feels. Cmon Watcher, the sake of the multiverse rests on you.

Oh that code. How did Nat know about it? Oh wait yes this comes after Winter Soldier

Still hope eh? Like… A New Hope? Ehhh??? Ehhh? Ok I’m sorry

AGH ULTRON

welp that does it. We’re doomed. Nice knowing yall

Cmon watcher. You gotta have some powers or something???

We gonna use an evil hydra agent to save the universe eh? Alright

Oh yay they got Toby Jones again yay!!!

Haha Zola you’re cornered into being helped

FIREEEEE

That’s a terrifying image. Why are some sentries crawling on all fours and others climbing the walls???

Headshot

Captain Black Widow-ica (sorry)

Wow Clint how the frick did you fit a metal laser net into an arrow?

Oh yay it worked! But I don’t trust Zola with the ability to move

Oh that should solve that

Sloooooooo mooooooooo

Okay wow Clint you have some OP arrows that make me question why I’ve never seen them before lol

Ah. Yep he’s fallen. I bet Clint is gonna die this episode. Marvels way of appeasing the people who thought he should die instead of Nat in end game.

Good thing their aim sucks

Oh yay Zola is helping

CLINT I KNOW YOU DONT WANT TO FIGHT ANYMORE BUT CMON. You do have at least one thing left to live for and she’s staring you in your face! Yknow, your best friend?

Damn Clint pulling a Natasha

BRUH WHY DIDNT YOU SHOOT A BOMB ARROW AND THEN THE SHIELD ARROW IN THE FIRST PLACE? You could have killed them all AND lived and not left your BEST FRIEND and possibly only other human left all alone! Really dude?

Oh crap yea I forgot ultron is in the area between the multiverses

I love the animation for this fight scene! Feels like a comic!

Cmon watcher man. You gotta have some op powers

Ahhhh there ya go

Oh nvm

Bruh where are we? What planet is this?

Oh there go the forests

Who did you swear an oath to, watcher? Who is your overseer?

ANIME FIGHT GO!

YO IS HE KANG??? (If so I totally called it the first time I saw him)

Bruh do these holes in the multiverse repair themselves or???

Yoooo how did ultron get giant? He’s pulling a friggin Dormammu or Galactus move lol. Eating the Galaxy

Damn there goes the neighborhood

Yo Steve Rogers is president in this dimension

Oh that’s a cool visual. Each punch goes through a universe

Cmon watcher fight back!

Cmon watcher bro you gotta do something

Ayo doctor strange again?

Soooo who did the watcher make the oath to tho??????? Who’s in charge of him? Why is Dark Dr. Strange allowed to leave the dimension he destroyed?

The episode is over? Soooo they must be continuing directly from this episode in the next one… right? I mean, they kinda have to right? Seeing as the watcher is involved directly now?

Also, at the beginning, the watcher said this one makes him sad… so has he seen this universe before but only on this watching ultron has broken out? Or was that the watcher from the future looking back on it?

I wonder if this show will have any impact on the upcoming films, or if they’ll be an isolated experience within the show?

Soooo I’m assuming sometime during the watchers planning with dr strange, ultron goes to party thor world? Cmon man leave my Jotun loki alone.

Oh heartbeat sounds at the end of the credits? I wonder why

Well this episode was very unexpected and tense. I can’t wait for next week’s episode!

#marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #marvel studios #marvel what if…?#marvel’s what if #marvel’s what if…?#what if #what if…?

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truthbehindthemysteries · 3 years

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✨Yօʊ'ʀɛ Nօȶ Gօɨռɢ Aռʏաɦɛʀɛ✨

Dhawan!Master x Reader

Summary: Despite traveling through all of time and space with the Doctor's best enemy, you still can't escape the bad along with the good. Lucky for you, you're not alone... even if it is with one of the if not THE most dangerous being in all the cosmos.

Warnings: Angsty Fluff, Sickness and all that comes with that, Blood and Gore / Violence

A/N: This was a requested fic { I am so sorry it is late ; life has gotten busy and ofc wack } about an adventure going wrong near the end for the Reader and the Master showing a side to themselves that no one else see's, not even their old friend/enemy the Doctor."}

We got to go, this place is going to blow. Run!" , the Master said as he grabbed you by the arm and lead you into a sprint. You breathed in and out roughly, heart racing as you followed him, using all the strength you had to push you forward, you both getting as far away from the destruction as you could while being shot at with deadly lasers with equally deadly consequences from them. You and the timelord had gone to the planet Androkeyos after having heard a tip from an anonymous person that the place should be checked out. Something weird going on there involving people going missing, mutations going on from experiments, a rare object at the heart of it all. Now in the thick of it, you two were trying to escape. The people there were dying off and were trying to make their race survive. Gone twisted with desire and frustration, they started experimenting on their own people with dangerous fuels, toxins, and poisons to change them to be able to survive. But now the mutations had gone rogue, too powerful for their own leaders to control, killing them off and threatening other planets if they escaped off their planet and into the stars - wanting to make others like them and kill off the rest who they saw as useless. Ducking behind a pillar, you and the Master stayed quiet, his hand over your mouth and you felt him against your back as he surveyed both your surroundings, waiting for the right moment to start running again, his other hand holding the Securya {the rare object} tight in his grasp now hidden away safely in a pocket. Once the coast was clear, you two began running again. "This way, that corridor, up the stairs, take a left and third door on the right. " he whispered to you, taking your hand and you and him got faster in your speed, eager to get into the room where his Tardis was located. You and him were just about there when more of the Androkeyo mutations came into view, swiftly moving about as they shot at you and the Master. As he fiddled with the door to get it open, you saw a shot coming right towards the Master who had his back turned. Taking the chance to protect him as he often did with you, considering you were so fragile in comparison to him because you're human, you took the shot square in the chest right as the Master grabbed you roughly and pulling you into the Tardis at the same moment. You both could hear the ruckus of the enemies trying to get inside the ship but the timelord was too focused on you. You who had stupidly decided to take a shot that could either mutate or kill you if you didn't have the antidote. In a risk to save his life where he was much more likely to survive it. Pain racked through your body from where the shot originated. You could feel an intense burning shooting from your heart through every nerve in your body. It hurt to breathe and when you moved, you felt shaky. The Master not only felt an intense anger to go outside his ship and slaughter every single one of them on the planet until everything was drenched in blood aside from the fire, ash and smoke and dust. He also however, felt anger and frustration for you. Not surprised as this wasnt the first time you risked your life for him but also that you would put his life over yours when he was far more capable of surviving in comparison to you. Frustration when you didnt have to get shot and there could have been another way. Lucky for you, he had the Securya on him. Had he not found it, things may have gone downhill more than they already have. Seeing the look on his face, you grit out through your teeth as you tried to push him away to no avail, "Just focus on getting us out of here first." to remind him and he growled lowly under his breath, moving towards the console and pressing buttons and pushing the lever to get you both gone. The wheezing of the Tardis started along with the up and down motion of the main part of the console and you did your best to hold on from where you fell in front of the doors from the inside of the ship. Not knowing where you both were as his ship landed, all you could focus on was trying to pull yourself up by your hands. Having instantly heard footsteps coming your way, you would have fallen were it not for the Master catching you with an arm around your waist and pulling you to him. He could sense how bad it was for you and he couldn''t help but be worried. He would scold you later however. "Don't even bother trying to move on your own love, it's just going to be worse on you.", he remarked when you started to protest as he picked you up bridal style and started carrying you into the depths of his ship towards the medical bay. You were known to be rather stubborn when it came to things and you never wanted to be seen as weak. Too bad that when those moments come, trying to act as normal can be taxing and take out of you more. You frowned but slowly nodded as you buried your head in his chest. His arms like a safety net, you held on for as long as you could, not wanting to go anywhere. With him, it felt like home. With him, it felt safe. With him, you felt peace and happiness among all the chaos and the madness. Slightly jostled awake by him demanding you stay awake, you slowly opened your eyes and looked a little around, seeing yourself in the medical bay as the Master gently put you on the gurney table and got to work. Using something clearly alien and advanced tech, he moved it over your body in an up and down motion to get a reading. His jaw tightened as he released a breath, shaking his head. "What is it?" , he looked towards you then away as he continued, "Youre in the beginning stages of mutation. Thats why you're feeling that burning all inside you.. starting from your heart? " , he didnt need you to nod to get that confirmation. The look in your eyes said everything. "Its going from the start of how you live to all throughout your body because that change happens everywhere. It's trying to rewrite you from the inside out. From that, comes the poisons and the toxins, trying to wash out the old..." , he remarked as he got a needle and injection, taking the Securya out his pocket and hooking them both up together and extracting enough of the liquid that was in the rare object. You shivered, whether it was out of shakiness or the needle, you couldn't really tell.You didn't like either possibility. As he spoke, he also brought out a weird looking thing that you could only assume was a stethescope mixed with a temperature monitor. He came over to you. "You won't be you anymore and you especially wouldnt be if i didnt take that damn rarity.", his voice went steely and scolding to you, a stark contrast from his gentle ministrations towards helping you sit up, the pillow behind your back supporting you up. "Now open your mouth and stay still. When i tell you to take deep breaths, you do so. Ok?", You nod and as he pressed a button, your mouth falls open in what could be considered a cute O face, but minds were not in the gutter, they were out in the open with clarity towards the given situation. Feeling part of the object under your tongue, you two waited a little bit before it popped out your mouth. Right after, the Master replied, "I need you to breathe now Y/N.", he instructed and you did as you were told, breathing deeply in and out a few times until he gave you the go ahead to stop. As he took notice of that and the readings from the temperature, you lied back down, albeit weakly. "You're burning up.. Well over 100 and your heart is pattering away like a hummingbird's wings.", he said as he put the stethoture monitor { ;) } down and came to you with the needle that held the Securyan liquid. You trembled, looking at the size of the needle. Couldn't be too bad right? You clearly dealt with worse on Planet Earth, anywhere else you traveled with the Master in the past and you would give anything to be rid of the pain overwhelming your entire body. By the look on his face towards you out the corner of his eye, you didn't need to express that you were starting to feel more than just burning. It was becoming much more harder to breathe as the Master put pressure on a perfect spot to put the needle in. The other side, he held onto your arm and one hand of yours overlapped his to hold on tight just in case. "This is going to hurt so if you need to, squeeze tight onto my hand.", the timelord told you, voice oozing with not only concentration and seriousness but a tint of worry as well. "Just put the damn thing in and get it over with." , you spit out, your other hand clutching at the table sheets under your back and as you did, he inserted the needle in. Almost instantaneously, the pain became unbearable as you tightened your hold both on the sheets and his hand until your knuckles turned wide. As you struggled slightly from where you lay, he laid his free hand over your chest to hold you down. "Try and stay still Love, this will only get worse if you don't." , You nodded despite the tears pooling out your eyes, vision going blurry and you almost barely felt the needle coming out of you. "Look at me Y/N", and you did so. You saw a flurry of emotions in his eyes, all of the same you have been seeing but more softer. "I know you feel sleepy but it will all be over, i promise. Try and get some rest. I'll be here when you wake.". Vaguely through the pain and the Securyan liquid going through out your body, you felt the burning go into a gentle cooling more as the time passed by BUT as well as the exhaustion, you slowly fluttered your eyes shut after you murmured out an "Okay." As you felt the embrace of sleep overtake you, the last thing you felt before you saw black was the brushing of lips on your forehead. -Sometime later- Opening your eyes, the first thing you saw was the med bay you were in, the Master right by your bed in a chair, eyes immediately turning towards you.The first thing you felt was much better. The pain was still there but the nap must have done you a universe of good if the negatives in your body was more dull and faint. Maybe this was more than one being not limited to the Master, but to overall that you should not over exert yourself and put yourself into things that could be avoided. To essentially 'cool it' and calm down. "How are you feeling?", he inquired and you were just about to turn to him and answered when he cut you off, "No. Scratch that, because i can pick up on everything about you, let alone your body more than anyone else can since i'm who you're around most if not all of the time.", his voice showed how steely and negative feeling he was earlier. Well , still technically and you bit your lip, knowing what was coming. Though it was sort of deserved, you wouldn't feel bad about that decision. You were protecting someone you loved, simple as that. "What the hell were you thinking? You could have die- no , you would have died were it not for me. You're human Y/N and I'm not, did you ever stop to think that maybe i don't need saving?" You frowned at him, equally letting out the frustration and worry and anger you felt. You understood where he was coming from because he was by all means fully able to take care of himself in anyway but if it werent for obvious moments in the past where even he was bested. You think he would know that not even he himself is truly invincible. "If you didn't need me, let alone anyone to save you, then you wouldn't have gotten into situations that required anyone to be your hero Master. Yes, you're a timelord but that doesn't make you inescapable to pain or death, you know that!" "I don't need you to save me Y/N. I'm not some damsel in distress that needs someone over his back and shoulder looking out for him." You reeled back from that, quiet for a few moments as he stared you down, trying to get you to see where he was coming from just as you were on your own end towards him. You never treated him like a child, you fully knew well enough that you're not him mother. Especially with how you feel towards him , how dare he insinuate that when it wasn't true. "You see it from your end and you try to make a point but you're not even considering where i was coming from it. You are the farthest thing from a child to me." Your voice broke as you tried to stand, being able to on your own now without the timelord's help. "Really, then what am I to you huh? , because from where i stand, you're a coward not admitting what you feel when it's obvious through your words and actions." Was he really that thick? Maybe not because by his words, he clearly knew and was hinting it to you just to get you to finally let it out. He is a stone cold brilliant genius as once said by his frenemy, the Doctor. Blood boiling over but in a mix of frustration and affection, you shouted, "I love you, you damn bastard. Why else do you think i risk my life for you, why i travel with you and chose you over the Doctor? Why do you think that i would clearly put myself into a position to get sick and infected, even die for you?!" By this point, he was within a few centimeters of your face, You continued before he could. Your voice softer now, "When you love someone, you don't walk away. When it's real, you dont walk away.. you run towards. You go through the good and the bad together. Yes, i'm going to suffer in sickness from a mistake, as you put it, that i made. I love you Master and maybe to others, that would be stupid and idiotic, dangerous and insane. But I care, so sue me for caring. Sue me for giving a da-" Hands pull you forward by the elbows and lips collide against yours. Cut off from speech, you gasp into the kiss he gives. It's all lips in a guided tango of love and passion, release of feelings and the frustrations starting to subside on both ends. You clutch on tightly to his collarbones, fisting the top of his waistcoat in your hands, moving your lips in synch with his. A sense of relief that you got the antidote, that you and him talked and expressed, that while you would be sick as an after effect of the mutation poison and the dose of Securyan to heal you, you would get better. You were with the Master, safe inside his ship. You were h o m e. Pulling apart, he rested his forehead against yours. Breath's mingling and getting breath's back, he spoke quietly to you. As if you two were the only ones inside the universe, let alone his ship which of course was true considering he didn't let anyone else in, unless it were the Doctor. You chuckled inwardly at the thought. He was your very own right now. "Just promise me, please. You have to take better care for yourself. You're worth so much more than an ending like that." He said. You wrapped your arms around him, despite the dull pain, coming of the sickness while at the same time being fought off to heal. "Don't want to get rid of me huh?", you teased lightly before biting your lip, starting to feel nauseous. Sensing it, he helped lead you to a nearby toilet, holding your hair back as you released your stomach of it's contents. "Oh love... you're not going anywhere if i have anything to say and do about it." ------------ The next week or two was more or so the same. Essentially confined to the ship because further adventuring while you were healing would prolong the process of you getting better. You would have a bruise where the shot had hit you, you would throw up occasionally, even with blood {which died down and stopped when you got another Securyan dose as needed.} , weak and dizzyness, even a back and forth of a stuffy nose and a runny one, a sore throat. Each in time became duller and then faint, followed by going away completely, even your breathing got better to the way it was before you got shot and sick. You chuckled as you got dressed for the day in your's and the Master's bedroom on the Tardis, the old girl fiercely protective and .loving/etc towards the both of you, especially him but you for how you are with him and how you are with her, the ship. You thought over some moments, now that you're in the third week. At the start of this third you had starting getting better to tip top shape. Now you just wanted to tell the Master. A smile comes to your face as you thought of moments before. No matter how gross of color and consistency the vomit was, added addition of blood occasionally. No matter how sick you got in different ways, he was there every step of the way now that you both had an understanding, especially more so than before. No matter how many times you fought him due to stubborness to see if you got your strength back or out of frustration of trying to get things done yourself out of not wanting to be seen as weak or an invalid. No matter how much you bleed, he took every bruise and hit and grossness and gore you tried to inflict on him because he knew that you didnt regret your decision persay but that you felt guilt at not taking things into account that you should have with him. He knew that it meant nothing too really, when you always apologized to him after. Sometimes we all need someone, even if we don't want to admit it to anyone , let alone ourselves. Coming out of your shared bedroom, you moved through the halls and corridors, the ship with ease, leading you to where the Master was, in the kitchen. You leaned against the door way, smiling at him as he seemed to be making breakfast. How charming. You almost would have moaned of how delicious he makes things but you wanted to surprise him. You didn't know how good this might go since he so quickly got onto things, especially with you but still, let you have some fun. In an instant, you jumped on his back, legs wrapping around his waist, hands at his shoulders and you whispered into his ear "Gotcha.", before you kissed his cheek and moved to jump off. "Now that was very rude Y/N", he remarked, instantly turning you around so that you were both on the floor, the wind out of you as he leaned over top of you, eyes burning into yours with happiness, amusement and mischief. You felt a mixer of eggs, herbs and cheese around your body as well as floor and the sweet exotic smell of something you couldn't identify. You wondered what it was. You giggled, looking up at him, seeing crumbles of buttered bread in his hair and little sausage links on the ground. Even when looking a mess, he still looked beautiful but with that expression, made it all the more funny. "Feeling better i see to cause a ruckus as usual." You smirked , "I can't help myself, you make it so easy." "Even when you're at my mercy now, underneath me with my body on top of yours?" , he hinted, his voice taking a coy tone. You narrowed your eyes, seeing what he was planning, "No. you better not, i sw-" , you tried to get away, kicking out from underneath him to try and get him and move away but he caught you just as you moved to get up, sending you back down to the ground. "Master, come on!", you squealed as his hands trailed all over your body, sending you into a fit of laughter as he tickled you everywhere, his grin on his face knowing he won. At some point he stopped, he turned your face to his with a hand cupping your face. "Feeling better i see. You ruined the breakfast i made for us. What are you going to do about that?" , he threw at you as he hovered over you. "I don't know, i think you might have to just deal with the mess... I'm kidding, im kidding!", you laughed as he moved to tickle you again. "I'll help you clean it up and remake it, how about that?" "Sounds like a deal Love.", he remarked, helping you stand and you returned his mischievous smile before following through with getting the kitchen cleaned up as well as you two and then making the breakfast. Who knew that suffering from danger would lead to such an outcome? There was no where else you would rather be and as you shared a look with him, enjoying the start of another day together, you knew he felt the same.

#my writing #my doctor who writing #my doctor who fics #one shot fic request #dhawan!master #the master #doctor who #dw

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forthecoloredgirl · 4 years

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LIKE IM GOING TO LOOSE YOU | RUBEN LOFTUS-CHEEK

For the past few days you and Ruben had been going through a rough patch. The two of you just couldn’t see eye to eye on anything. It had come to the point where you thought he just wanted to argue. Early this morning he snapped at you for accidentally pouring him too much orange juice.

“Maybe if you had been paying some damn attention we wouldn’t have this mess!”

He snapped, throwing his hands in the air. All you could do was stare because you couldn’t really register that Ruben was actually upset about some over poured orange juice. Not saying anything you just grabbed a paper towel and began cleaning up the spill.

“Ruben it’s just orange juice.”

You said softly as you wiped up the last of the spill and dried the area. As you threw away the paper towel Ruben began.

“It’s just everything with you! Just this, just that, or just everything!”

He mocked

“Well what about you!? Huh!? Like there’s not a thing wrong with you Mr. IPitchAFitOverOrangeJuice.”

“Well if you weren’t too busy pissing me off, I’d probably wouldn’t be.”

“Oh please Ruben, everything thing pisses you off!!”

“Yeah everything about you!”

That hit a little too close to home and you had decided that you had enough. If Ruben felt that way, he could feel that way alone.

“Alright, if I piss you off some much than goodbye!”

Slamming your hands down, you got up from the table and went upstairs to Ruben’s room grabbing your purse and keys. Going back down stairs you headed right for the door and slammed it right as Ruben called for your name. If you pissed him off so much than why stay. You got into your car and drove off before Ruben could catch you, but before you could even get a mile down the road your phone was already ringing. Rolling your eyes you ignored it and kept driving.

•

Weeks passed by and you still had ignored Ruben like the plague. He was persistent and wouldn’t leave you alone. He would call, text, and even email to try and get your attention. However you weren’t entirely ready, if you had gone back to him would it just go back to more arguing or were the two of you actually capable of solving a problem. Thoughts ran through your head all day and you couldn’t even get your work done with all the things attacking your mind. Also it didn’t help that Chelsea had a very important match today, it was Manchester City and you knew how hard not only Ruben had been preparing for the match, but all the guys were. They had even had two extra practices. It hurt a little knowing you weren’t going to be there for Ruben, but how he treated you made you feel as if he didn’t even want you to be there in the 1st place. So why go support? You knew why, it was because you loved him and whether they lost or won today nothing was going to change the fact you loved him with all your heart.

Not being able to take it anymore, you stood from your desk got your car keys and bolted to your car. You didn’t care that your natural hair was flying and lowkey a mess. Checking the time you had on your phone, you saw that there was 20 minutes till kickoff and thankfully you worked near the stadium, but you knew match day traffic wasn’t the best. So you opted to take the back roads and made it around to the players entrance with 5 minutes to spare. The lovely staff had quickly gotten you situated and in the front tow right as the first whistle was blown and it was officially game time. The butterflies in your stomach erupted in a frenzy and you were biting your nails before any team could complete a pass. Of course you were still mad, but you couldn’t wish any bad on Ruben at this time. You’d watch him from the moment he got injured to when he was fully healed up. You were there through all those sleepless nights out in the yard passing and shooting with him. You ensured he got up everyday and remember he was not just any player but THAT player so he could have the fuel to come back better than he was before.

That was the main reason you were sitting in this seat, you wanted to see all the work the two of you had put in for months! Finally it came to that moment when Ruben received a pass and your heart sped up a bit. In awe you watched as he cut to his left switching the ball, only to loose it to an on coming defender. You felt a little sadness in your heart, but Ruben quickly tracked down the defender, locked in, and successfully got the ball back. You thought he was going to just pass it afterwards as it was the safest option, but no you saw the confidence in his face as he turned his body in the direction opposite of their goal. His stance was completely different and he looked out for blood. He unexpectedly took off right down the middle, his speed was unmatched and he was dodging defenders from every angle. Once he’d successfully made it into the opposing teams 18 yard box he pulled the ball back cutting it behind his right foot and placed his body over the ball sending a shot toward the net. You watched as the ball float through the air and sail right into the upper corner of the goal!

The whole moment felt like it was in slow motion as the entire stadium erupted into cheers! You yourself were up on your feet screaming cheers of joy and clapping till the palms of your hands hurt. You’d been so hyped up you didn’t care for your 4C hair covering your face, you had seen what you needed to see, but when you finally removed the coils of curls from your face your eyes met his. It was as if he to were shocked, but what it about the goal or that you were there. He sent a light hearted smile your way, he looked unsure, but you gave him a big smile and a thumbs up. You didn’t want to ruin his glory, so you pushed all your hurt aside. What mattered now was beating City’s ass, then Ruben’s.

•

The game was a eventful one. Many counter attacks, scares, and of course highlighted moments that would definitely be replayed on BEIN later tonight. You were excited to re watch it all over again, but that’s only because Ruben ended the game with a goal and two assists send City home 3-1. The whole city of Chelsea were going home that night with smiles on their faces and the pub on their minds. As you walked out the stadium you could hear the fans still chanting “Thank You Rubey.” you could help but laugh a little.

You decided to use the players entrance as an exit as well, seeing that’s where your car was parked. As you searched your bag for your keys, you suddenly heard a rush of footsteps coming your way. Before you could look up you were engulfed into a tight hug. A hug from somebody you knew all too well.

For a moment the two of you didn’t say anything and stood there, but you decided to break it.

“Great game.”

“I don’t deserve you, seriously. You’re too good for me, a literal blessing from the heavens! But I’m not going to mess this up, I refuse! I’m going to earn you and your love like we earned the win today. You deserve to have me give you my absolute all and nothing less! I can’t really see living on or playing on with you. Just as we spent all those night preparing for this moment, I’m going to work just as hard to earn your love and maintain it. I’m going to love you like I’m going to loose you and I mean that.”

You were speechless at his declaration of love, but you knew this from the moment the two of met. All you could do is pull away from the hug a little and look up at him.

“It’s okay Ruben I-“

“No babe I want to make sure that everyday you felt my love. Wherever and whenever. I don’t care if we’re mad at each other or completely okay with each other, I’m going to do better. I love you so much”

He spoke as he leaned his forehead onto yours. Again you smiled and whispered that you loved him too.

“And to prove my love I’m going to detangle this mane of yours you decided not to moisturize.”

You couldn’t help but laugh aloud. This man was really the love of your life and it took some spilled orange juice to really realize it.

**NOT MY GIF** **If you would like to repost my work please give credit**

#ruben loftus cheek #chelsea fc #ruben loftus cheek x reader #poc #poc!reader #4chair #footyimagine #footballersimagine #blackgirlbeauty #blackgirlmagic #black!oc #black!reader #forthecoloredgirl

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whole-lotta-hoes · 3 years

Text

Whole Lotta Hoes| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: Zeppelin Is No More

Episode Two: Looking For A Job

Episode Three:

Episode Four:

Episode Five:

Warning:

This will cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and question your sanity. It will include a shit ton of weird shit and things that don't make sense at all. Do not read if you are not ready for any of this, read at your own risk.

Cast:

John Paul Jones (Main character)

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

John Bonham

-------------------

Led Zeppelin is a band apparently. It's just a bunch of horny mother fuckers put together to make songs about sex. John Paul Jones was laying in bed with Robert Plant which he has no idea how that happened. He hoped nothing weird went down between them cause Jimmy Page would be so mad. oh jesus oh god you do not want to make that mother fucker mad. He'll literally turn you into a cheeseball and eat you. John got out of bed only to see that John Bonham was standing in the corner eating swedish fish gummies. He was not going to question it.

"Want some?" Bonzo asked him and he held one in his hand.

"I don't know you what the fuck!?" Jonesy yelled. He went to the baffroom and spotted jimmy trying to swim inside of the toilet. He believed he could do it if he tried hard enough.

"the oil supply demand is sky rocketing these days!" jimmy yelled as he got out of the toilet.

"Bitch do not touch me with your boo boo water," He warned him as he grabbed a toothbrush to use as a weapon. He learned how to make a knife with it in jail.

"Penis guitar playing is totes fun jonesy, you should try it," jimmie added. Oh mother fucker he is a heterosexual lad. Or that is what he said the other day when he ate some of robert's caramel popcorn. man he wondered how he even ended up in that stupid band. who's led and why does he have a zeppelin? you know some guy named their kid zeppelin but he claims that he didn't name him after the band. wait what were we talking about?

The band all decided to head to mcdonalds to eat happy meals. jimmy tickles.

"Guys! oh my god you will not believe it but britney is such a slut! ugh! can't believe she left me for a fish lookin' mother fucker-"

"No one gives a rats ass about your weird horny ass!" jimmy cut him off by yelling at robert. God damn that shithead has a huge ego but a small dick. Jonesy never understood why people liked him so much. He once stole his favorite pair of jojo siwa socks and claimed he never knew he owned any.

"You motherfuckers we're supposed to be going on tour!" Bonzo yelled as he swooped the food off the table.

"suck my asshole bonzo!" jim yelled.

"calm down pagey, he's just a meanie," robert added as he patted his head.

"y'all need to start realizing that no one likes you both!" jonesy snapped.

"shut up you're literally ugly and small and the bassist of led zeppelin and you look like heman with that stupid haircut of yours" Bonzo said as he ate jonesys burgers. damn that hurt.

"You know," jonesy began, "i don't need this job"

"what job?" robeet askes.

"shhhhh let the weirdo speak," jimmy said as he stuck his finger into his mouth.

"without me you will all suck asshole and no one will actually like led zeppelin," he explained.

the three slowly looked at each other and began to laugh their asses off at him.

"You act like you matter so much," robert added.

"shut up cheese cream! you're literally big and ugly and you look like you are 50 years old!" bonzo said as he drank his milk. that was funny. Jonesy felt his blood boil and grabbed his happy meal and stormed out.

It was the day of their shit concert. led zeppelin were backstage preparing to cause a dismother and set things on fire. preferably roberts underwear that pretty much doesn't exist in this case. the band stepped on stage and the crowd went wild.

"hello bananas-" That motherfucker fell forward into the drum set. oopsies. jimmy ran to him to make sure his hoe isn't dead or alive. fucking bon jovi.

"oh shit! robert plant is down!" he yelled. jonesy was absolutely done with them. they are nothing but a bunch of dumb fucks who ruin everything. He took out his laser penis and shot jimmy and robert to death.

"oh Motherfucker has a fucking laser pp! hija de su pinche madre!" jimmy yelled as he split in half. robert died again. bonzo just sat there blown away by the fact that that john paul jones just killed the front man and the guitarist of Led Zeppelin in front of millions of people. he was impressed.

"holy shit man you really-"

nope sorry but jonesy shot him too so he died. damn he could've let him live. meanie. oh wait im writing this so i could've.... ah man im too lazy to go back and fix it. too bad we're going with this plot now. Jonesy stepped off the stage and headed to the back.

"god dammit i hate everyone in this bloody world," he said to himself. he decided to hit the pub that was nearby to enjoy himself.

As he was sitting at the counter drinking something that is an alcoholic beverage. he began to spark ideas of what he could possibly do since led zeppelin died. He thought about starting a whole new band but he remembered that what caused him to kill led zeppelin. that was out of the shopping list for walmart. next was to steal money from the bank so he remains rich but he then realized that he is a famous musician and will get recognized quickly. fuck. he then thought of changing his hair to look less like heman cause that insult hurt.

"aha!" he shouted. He finally thought of something that could get him a shit ton of money. He drank the remaining drink from his cup and ran out of the pub.

he put on a thicc line of eyeliner, red lipstick, a black wig, fish nets leggings, high heeled boots, and earrings. oh man this is going to be hella great. His wife walked in to see what the fuck this small ass mothertrucker was up to this time. oh man i shat my pants.

"sweetie what the fuck are you doing!?" she yelled. Jonesy turned to look at her.

"led zeppelin is no more," he responded. She was so confused and wondered how the fuck she even ended up marrying heman. she had no idea what led zeppelin is no more meant and was hella concerned for his health.

"be back in a few days," he added as he broke his ankle trying to exit the house and rolled down the hill. oops it's not up the hill anymore. guess you could really say he went down hill. i hate myself so much. he walked down the sidewalk and ended up in someone's house. Motherfucker it's jimmy page's house. he stole his nice trousers or whatever those were. my teacher walked by as i wrote that btw. turns out they don't fit him cause jimmy is also a big hoe and jonesy isn't. shit. jimmy is embarrassing asf. that was pointless of him stealing so he stole his underwear. wait he wears those? imma look it up hold on. i didn't find anything about that so im just going to assume that he doesnt.

there was a picture of jimmy when he was with the yardbirbs and golly that is one ugly Motherfucker! he stole and stuffed it into his underwear. he got out of the house full of useless shit that he did not need at all. Then he forgot what he was doing. Jonesy continued walking down the street only to break his other ankle and rolled down the steep pathway. damn he's one dumb hoe bitch.

His laser penis was out of control. he just wanted to have a little me time but instead shot a whole through the wall of the motel be was staying in. god dammit. he removed his pp and switched it out with a normal pp. that's odd. his plan of overthrowing led zeppelin stressed him out. what else do you do when you're stressed? well can't say cause i ain't gotta peener. he got so bored. his days of not being in led zeppelin have been lame and was the worst idea he could even come up with. he didn't know what to do know. he can't just eat your grandma over and over again. he looked at himself through the mirror and oh my god I'm a sexy Motherfucker oh yeah bitch im THE BITCH. he needed to find something that'll keep him entertained for while.

babysitting was a bad idea. he got bitten by a bunch of goblins and gave him rabies. god i hate kids.

"hello motherfucker," jimmy said.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD DAD SHOES PENIS PLANT! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU THE OTHER DAY!" Jonesy yelled as he jumped over the couch.

"Nah bitch that was just my twin brother Jamie Patricia Page," He added. "Bitch why are you dressed like a stripper?"

Oh yeah he forgot that was what he was going to do once he killed led zeppelin. he still can but now there's a little bitch with him named james patrick page.

"we should kill robert plant," jimny suggested.

"Bitch i already killed him, you're a little too late you duck whore," he responded.

turns out he didn't actually kill led zeppelin but instead killed their twin brothers.

"You want to overthrow led zeppelin into the trashcan?" Jonesy asked. "Thought that's what you and bert wanted to do...."

"Nah man.... percy is a very stupid penguin and is meanie.... he stole my jojo siwa socks," jimmy explained.

ah damn turns out robert plant is the villain of the story and should be died. he is too powerful. his hair will slice the fuck out of anyone.

"You got a plan?" Jonesy asked.

"i say we steal his pants and burn them and use them as an alternative to oil," he explained. damn science class. then this guy named bonzo showed up and began to beat them with his drum sticks.

"BONZO CALM THE FUCK DOWN! AHHHHHHHHH!!!" james yelled.

"sorry but robert said to beat you both with them!" bonzo yelled back.

jonesy dug through his pants and took out a bunch of swedish fish gummies.

"hey look! fish gummies! come and get it boy!"

"bitch what the fuck I am not some stupid dog for you to be doing that time of shit you small Motherfucker heman lookin hoe short shit," bonzo said.

"GIMME GIMME OH SHIT!" he attacked Jonesy.

jimmy page the god of led zeppelin stood there watching while cheering them on fight fight fight! it got in here so he removed his trousers and threw them at bonzo which ended up knocking him out.

"oh shit! your pants are powerful! we can use it to kill percy!" Jonesy shouted.

"NO! JIMBERT MUST GO CANON!" Jimmy yelled and jumped out the window. all you heard was splash. that motherfucker jumped into the pool and is now wet. that's a disturbing image. Jonesy rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever the fuck he was doing. it all of a sudden got really bright outside. oh the sun came out cause it was cloudy. but wait! Jonesy looked out the window and spotted robert plant heading towards him.

"IM THE GOLDEN GOD-" that motherfucker fell inside of the pool and sizzled. cual pinche golden god ese no mas anda haciendo puros desmadres y estupideces de mario.

that was the end of led zeppelin.

#led zeppelin #robert plant #jimmy page #john paul jones #john bonham #cursed post #cursed content #crack fanfic #fanfic #led zeppelin fanfic

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thisiswhymomworries · 4 years

Note

If I may contribute to your statement about how much Agamemnon deserved death, it wasn’t just his daughters wedding day. He arranged for her to be married to Achilles so that she would be within convenient murder range. If I remember correctly, at least in Euripides’ telling of the events, even Achilles thought the whole thing was awful when he realized what was going on. So yeah, there is no telling of the story in which I feel bad for him.

oh yeah, you’re absolutely correct that Agamemnon totally set that up and arranged for her to be married solely to get her out of the house to be killed

and Achilles WAS like “hey what the fuck this is my wedding too--well. not anymore I guess >:/”

ALSO Agamemnon is the bitch who started the Biggest Dick Slap Fight with Achilles about the distribution of loot, which led to Achilles having his Big Sulk and refusing to fight, so Patroculus put on his armor and fought in his place--shout to him by the way!! he has the highest kill count in The Iliad, NOT Big Baby Achilles--and was therefore eventually killed by Hector

so the order of fuck ups is:

Agamemnon makes a stupid ass promise (to Artemis I believe) at the beginning of the war to sacrifice whatever he sees first when he arrives home

immediately sees his daughter, who ran out to welcome him first bc she loves him

realizes now he has to kill her otherwise the gods will be mad and he won’t be able to join / or will doom The War expedition

doesn’t just stay home!! like yeah, he made a regular human promise ala WWI alliances where if something happens to this other guy over here, then fucking everybody in their dog has to go to war over it, including him, but this is YOUR DAUGHTER my dude, just stay home

Decides to go ahead and kill his daughter, I guess!!

lies to his wife (Clytemnestra) and to Achilles (ally) that he’ll marry Daughter to Achilles before they go off to war

when Clytemnestra brings Daughter down to get married, he instead ties her to the alter / pyre and kills her while Achilles is like “whoaaa what the fuck”

all so he can go to this stupid war that again, Does Not Involve Him. he only promised that if Other Guy’s shit got fucked up (ie, his wife Helen getting abducted), then he’d help out but like,, Helen maybe wanted to go to Troy anyway and also still ultimately not his problem

yes breaking promises his a huge No-No but also so is literally all of these other fuck ups he does, so why not just do One (1) fuck up and also NOT kill your daughter\

Goes to war and tries his hardest to fuck THAT up too!!

so the whole point of killing his daughter is that he HAS to go help fight in this war and then when he gets there, he’s useless

coulda just stayed home, moron

he starts a Biggest Dick Slap Fight with Achilles--ACHILLES--over who gets the best loot by pulling that he technically has rank as a king or something but he didn’t do shit

Achilles Big Mad

so basically this guy made direct eye contact with the Greeks’ BESTEST most special warrior, lied to him, killed his would-be wife, snidely pulled rank, took away another woman he wanted (that’s the “loot”), and pretty much fucked her while loudly reminding The Best Warrior he ain’t shit

like,,, ?? the Greeks DID NOT need him there!!

Achilles--their best warrior--refuses to fight, Patroculus fights instead, gets killed, Achilles mourns for three days, they basically come This Fucking Close to losing the war--which has already stalled for ten years btw bc they can’t actually get inside Troy, so the “war” thus far is basically just glorified yelling “meet me in the fucking parking lot you bitch” and sometimes someone from Troy would in fact come out to fist fight someone in the parking lot, aka Hector vs Patroculus (RIP)

if Achilles hadn’t been sulking, maybe he would’ve won the fist fight vs Hector, and Troy would’ve surrendered after losing their leader

but that doesn’t happen so Odysseus does the horse thing to get the soldiers inside Troy and they sack it, but the point is that Agamemnon DIDN’T DO SHIT except make things worse

Comes back home and immediately insults the gods

Clytemnestra does kind of set him up for this by asking leading questions, but they’re so Babey Basic. like,, if a woman asks “hey do you think you’re better than the gods” just say no!!

there’s a red carpet, which is a huge honor for the gods alone, and it’s Super Super Obvious Clytemnestra is goading him into hubris but Agamemnon “Can’t Think Critically” the Daughter Killer is like “oh fuck yeah I’ll accept honors only reserved for the gods because I’m just as good as them DO YOU HEAR THAT GODS I, A MORTAL, AM LOUDLY PROCLAIMING HUBRIS WHILE SYMBOLICALLY STEPPING ON YOU GEE HOW COULD THIS GO WRONG”

didn’t seem to put any thought into how Clytemnestra, a woman, was supposed to hold onto the throne for him FOR TEN FUCKING YEARS but then when he comes back, he rolls up like “hey, honey what’s up with you? me?? oh yeah, I had fun killing our daughter, going to war, fucking other women. LOTS of other women, I even fucked Achilles’s woman. yeah, yeah, that’s just the kind of leader I am Babey!! but anyway, you’re going to give the throne back to me and let me start making decisions as king for the whole country after I killed your daughter, nearly cost us the war, and loudly insulted the gods, right? Right??”

Guess who just got MURDERED

yeah it’s the asshole who deserved it. like, the Agamemnon specifically makes sure to recount how he killed his daughter as she begged for her life and then flashes forward back to the present where he insults the gods, just to make sure we know he Really Really deserves it

not even by modern standards! the audience was at least supposed to understand the promise he made to Artemis was dumb and shitty, that regardless of whether he was “”forced to do it”” he did still kill his own child, AND he committed hubris

Clytemnestra even has a monologue about what the fuck else she’s supposed to do: there are no laws she can turn to, and as a woman, she’s not allowed to get revenge, so her only other option is to just hand the kingdom back over to this Moron and keep sucking his cock or whatever while pretending he didn’t murder her child

basically, if someone kills one of your family members, you are morally obligated to kill them

Agamemnon MUST get his shit wrecked due to hubris

Orestes (their son) has been off dicking around and sulking, and he doesn’t want to kill Agamemnon, and anyway, all he did was kill his sister! does that really count?? seriously though, does it? spoiler: the ultimate answer is No, killing women does not count as killing a person bc women are not people

this message brought to you by Athena (ironically)

also some shit about how women aren’t actually involved in motherhood or creating a child, so a mother isn’t really a parent, and that’s why Orestes gets to kill Clytemnestra via The Greek Obligation For Revenge

Clytemnestra decides Fuck That

she holds Agamemnon accountable and kills him as he must be killed in order to avenge the killing of their daughter

she tosses a net on him while he’s in the bathtub and stabs him a million times with a spear, while laughing maniacally and bathing in the rain of blood that spurts out

as is her parental RIGHT for avenging her daughter

except the problem is that she’s Not A Man, so she ““isn’t allowed”“ to kill a man

and also that the reason Agamemnon deserved to die is ultimately decided to be his hubris, because Women Are Not People so it was OK or whatever for him to kill his daughter bc that didn’t count

therefore Clytemnestra double wasn’t allowed to kill him / avenge her and should have sat around waiting for the gods to kill Agamemnon I guess, but there’s no indication any of them actually planned to do that

they just used her to do their dirty work, so if anyone in this story was fucked into a corner by the gods, it’s Clytemnestra, not Agamemnon

Orestes then has a big long story about killing Clytemnestra

like fuck his sister I guess?? he wasn’t doing shit about revenge and his moral duty to kill the killer of his family when she was sacrificed but now that his shit idiot dad got himself killed, nooow he’s all about His Moral Duty

so he kills his mom

and he’s kind of sad about it and worried that now he deserves to die too because he killed his mom, and it’s a super fucked up sin in Greek World to kill your parent

hence the deus ex machina--literally, how this trope got invented

they lowered an actor playing Athena from the rafters and had her proclaim that Women Aren’t People, so it was probably OK or whatever for Agamemnon to kill his daughter and since women have nothing to do with the creation of a child, and just hold that little sperm-baby inside them like a cup until it magically comes out with zero effort or risk to them, then Women Aren’t Parents so Orestes didn’t reeeally kill his parent

#greek mythology #ancient greek #ancient greek mythology #the agamemnon #clytemnestra #ask #anon #answered #mine

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ilguna · 4 years

Text

Ethereal - Chapter Three (f.o)

Summary: Five years of watching your trainees die, you’re sick of it. She will prevail, she will win.

Word Count; 5.4k

Warnings; swearing, DEATH MENTION

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

Finnick had split just like you told him to. Before he had gone, you told him to meet you back where the chariots would leave from. He promised to be back in time, but here you are, ten minutes until they’re sent off, and he’s still not here. For a moment, you had blamed yourself, thinking that you should have followed after him.

And then you remembered that there is no way in hell you should have. You wouldn’t be here for the tributes, there would be two missing mentors. Laurel and Pleurisy would be sending them off, and sometimes they’re not the best. Laurel is serious, very straight-faced. She doesn’t smile or laugh often, and she shows her appreciation in small ways.

Pleurisy is a different story. Everything she does is grand. She’s not for the black, gold and silver that Laurel is into. Pleurisy is into colors, dying her skin–it’s a bubblegum pink right now–wearing huge costumes that show off her favorite parts of her body. The giant heels, the long nails, the wacky hair styles. When you had first met her, it wasn’t this bad. But she’s sunk completely, she’s in on the trends now.

Polar opposites, that manage to be friends. Annie and Paslee would have absolutely no idea how to handle them like you do. They’ll need your support, and so Finnick being missing, that’s fine. You just can’t be the one that’s gone.

While you’re all waiting to send the tributes off, you excuse yourself from your own, and find yourself heading over to your friends. There, Cashmere, Gloss, Enobaria and Brutus are waiting.

“(Y/n)!” Cashmere squeals almost, reaching over and giving you a tight squeeze, “How are you?”

“To be honest, frazzled.” You tell her, she raises her eyebrows, the others lean in. Except for Brutus, he’s not interested in these types of things. He thinks he’s so much better than the other district victors, which includes you, but not Gloss, Cashmere or Enobaria. It’s a little irritating.

You ‘earned’ your title just as much as they did. You killed, you loved, you won. You went around and collecting the gifts that none of the districts actually want to give you. You faced the families of those you killed with a pained smile on your face. And you mentor a new set of kids each year. Just the same as them.

The only difference–which might be why he thinks like this–is that they get winning tributes. However, if their own murderous monsters were killed off in the beginning, you can almost guarantee that yours would have won. Especially the older ones, but that’s besides the point.

“What’s happened?” Gloss asks.

“Finnick.” you tell them, Cashmere and Enobaria are most interested now. Gloss seems like he would rather talk about something else. You don’t mention Finnick much, you have another inkling that it might be because Gloss likes you. And if that’s true, he is the only man you’ll ever consider getting with.

“What about him? Stop making me ask.” Cashmere shakes you slightly, “Spit it out!”

“He’s here.” you motion to the chariots, “Well, not here, here–”

“No, he’s there.” Enobaria says, you look over to see Finnick talking to Annie and Paslee. He hands them something, and then pats their shoulders.

The sound of the anthem makes you jump, “Shit!” you turn to point at them, and they’re laughing slightly, “I’ll bring Finnick over after, okay? Introduce our kids?”

“Us partnering up with district four?” the boy from one asks, his face is all twisted, “Good luck.”

Cashmere glares, it looks odd on her pretty face, “Making friends for the arena isn’t a bad idea.”

“I’ve got my friends right here.” he motions to his district partner, and then the other two from two.

“Four is technically a career.” the girl from two says, turning away from the boy. The boy glares slightly.

You turn to look at Cashmere and she shrugs, “I’ll see you after. Spare the kids, just you and Finn–”

“Shut up,” you shove her, she laughs and you roll your eyes. You head back over to your own chariot.

When you get there, Annie and Paslee are looking more comfortable than they were when you had originally left. Finnick must have said some things to them. You make a few adjustments to make them look nice, and when you’re done, you can almost hear the list of sponsor names that will be after them.

“Smile, wave, blow kisses.” you remind, “Paslee, chin up, Annie, slouch a little more. You’re going to be perfect.”

“Good luck!” Finnick’s voice is behind you, you wave to the kids and watch as they turn around to face where they’re leaving. The horses hesitate, and then they take off after district three.

Grabbing on to Finnick, you pull him with you to the nearest tv’s to watch what’s going on. You’re districted, trying to make sure that they’re moving right. For the most part, they’ve got the footing right and all of that. Paslee waves big, while Annie is smaller.

“Sugar cube?” Finnick asks, you look over to see he’s holding a square, “I know you want it.”

You take it, and pop it into your mouth, “Thanks.”

“Stop stressing, they’ll be fine.” Finnick tells you, his arms wrap around you slightly, and you’re too focused to brush him off. Annie seems to be leaning into Paslee. She’ll readjust like him, but they end up against each other in the end.

They stop in the circle, Snow appears. This is when you notice Finnick’s arms truly, because they tighten. You pull him into you, not knowing if this is because of a fear thing or not. Snow makes his speech, then there’s the anthem, which allows the cameras to pan around them one last time. After that is the final lap around the circle, then they’re gone.

Brought right back to you.

Finnick pulls away after that, and the both of you head over to the tributes.

Annie is the first off of the chariot. She spins slightly in the dress, it spreads out around her. She looks genuinely happy about the dress. You wonder if you’ll be able to pull some strings and let her have the dress if she wins. Or Snow will want to take it and put it in some hall of fame.

It’s an orange dress, the top is almost like a vest and a tank top combined. It hugs around the bottom of her neck to keep it in place. As for the bottom, it’s just a dress made out of silk. To make sure that it follows the district four theme, the top also has netting. The type you use to catch things. Along with that is the regular accessories. You’re sure that you don’t have to explain.

“You guys did so good!” You tell them, “Elysia and the stylists will help you to your rooms to change. We’ll see you in a few.”

You push them off slightly, eager to talk to Cashmere and them again. It’s been too long, and they’ve been dying to actually meet Finnick. Rather than hear about him in the little snot bits you do mention. You’re not sure how all of this will go down with Gloss. Jealousy is a mighty thing.

You take Finnick’s arm, “At this point I just think you should handcuff me to you.”

Looking at him, he has his eyebrows raised, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“It would be easier than you grabbing me all the time.” Finnick laughs, but then he thinks, “Actually, maybe I like the grabbing part.”

“I think you should shut up now.” You tell him once you’re stopping in front of your friends.

“Wow, The Finnick Odair?” Cashmere looks him over, “Got any love poems in mind?”

“They’re all reserved for (Y/n), sorry.” Finnick laughs, you and Cashmere share a look.

“I’m sure you know already, but this is Cashmere and Gloss, district one, brother and sister.” You start, Gloss pitches in with something about being back to back victors, you roll your eyes, “The arrogant one is Brutus and the tiger is Enobaria.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Enobaria flips her hair, but sputters out a laugh a few seconds later.

And just like that, you guys drop into banter. From the outside it would look like you guys were old friends, when in reality you’ve known them a year or two. Finnick practically just met them. You know he’s at least heard of them, but as far as talking goes, this will be the first time.

Gloss seems to ease into the conversation, seeing that you’re keeping Finnick at an arm’s distance—metaphorically—and you don’t acknowledge the flirty attempts. Every now and then you’ll give s look to Finnick to satisfy whatever he’s after.

They get along with him well, but Brutus and Enobaria act a little stuck up. You’re used to it, sometimes they even act like that with you. It’s hard to get mad at it anymore, you choose to ignore it all the same. It’s funny how they’re the ones that are so full of themselves, when Cashmere and Gloss are the most favored by the Capitol.

The only thing that Enobaria has is the fact that people see her as a fashion icon for sharpening her teeth after she won her games. You bet there was a small trend of it after. A couple dozen people probably have the same sharpened teeth.

You wonder what you and Finnick sparked. Something with rope, no doubt. Finnick and his trident, you can imagine a bunch of kids running around with their new toy. You and a spear, too. Little boys with tridents and girls with spears.

Soon, the conversation has to drop off, since it’s nearing dinner time. You bid goodbyes to them, and Gloss sends you off with a wink. As soon as you and Finnick have rounded the corner, he doesn’t look too happy.

“You and Gloss?” He finally asks.

“Nothing but friends.” You tell him, however if Finnick hadn’t shown up, you’re sure that it would have turned into more this year, “Can’t promise he looks at it that way, though.”

Finnick nods, still not convinced. You’re not going to stand here and reassure him, he just needs to trust your word. It’s not like you have any reason to lie. As if you’d ever go behind his back and date Gloss or anything. Even if that would be a not-so-subtle way of telling him you’re over him.

“So what of you think of them?” You ask, looking to Finnick, “What’s wrong?”

“How long have you been friends with them?”

“A year or two now. I only see them for the games.” You tell him, “And whenever they win the games.”

“You’re making friends with them?” He asks, “Why not the other districts?”

He doesn’t like them.

“Because, as I found out, they can hold grudges longer than districts one and two can. I’ve tried with three, but it was short lived. He appreciated my efforts to keep Blaire alive, and that was it. But all the other districts?” You laugh, “Haymitch is truly the only one who didn’t care that I killed the twelve year old boy. Making friends with them is hard.”

“It can’t be—“

“Then go right ahead. Try to make those friends and get back to me on it. I’m sorry that you’re jealous of Gloss, or Brutus or whatever, but they were here for me when you weren’t.” And there you go, throwing this in his face. You hadn’t wanted to do that.

You continue to the elevator, your boots make heel-like sounds. When you stop by the or, you turn back to see Finnick standing there, “Are you coming?”

He shakes his head slightly, “No, I don’t think I will.”

“Finnick—“ you begin, taking a step. He’s going to leave, you can feel it. It’s not selfish for you to want him to stay, it’s for the kids. You’re doing this for the kids, “Please?”

You want to tell him to stop being ridiculous, but you hold your tongue. Saying that will set him off, and he’ll definitely go. No matter how true it is, you need him to stay.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” The apology is too late, you wonder if he’ll see that.

A moment of silence, you know he’s not going to stay, “I’m going to take a walk. Don’t wait on me.”

He disappears around the same corner you came around. You take a moment, trying to calm yourself down for fucking this up. But you swing your arm anyway, and it leaves a nice, fist-shaped hole in the wall.

The elevator door opens, and you go inside of it. The ride up is quiet, and the longer it takes, the more upset you seem to get with yourself. The moment that the door has opened, you’re met with Laurel and Pleurisy, you step out.

“Where’s Finnick?” Pleurisy asks.

“I pissed him off, he’s taking a walk.” You tell them, not stopping to talk to them.

When you reach the apartment, you go inside. A few feet in front of you, Elysia is still sat down with Annie and Paslee, eating dinner. You take another deep breath, this time to steady and truly calm, and then you sit down with them.

“For the next three days, it’s training.” You tell them, “I probably won’t see you guys tomorrow so I’ll tell you this now. If you’re going to make friends, perfect time to do it. Steer clear of the other careers unless you know for sure that you’ll be able to get them into an alliance. They don’t seem too fond of us.

“When you do get inside of the training center.” You turn towards them, they listen a little harder, “Don’t show off the skills I’ve taught you. Go around to places you don’t know. Talk to people that are already there, keep moving around. Don’t know how to use a bow and arrow? Good time to learn.”

“They’ll have classes?” Annie asks, you nod.

“Instructors will be at each station. They’ll help you learn what they’re specialized in.” Honestly, they should put actual victors in there. It’s funny to you that they call them professionals when they’ve never had to actually deal with the circumstances.

Do they come from the districts? No. They don’t have to deal with hunger. They don’t know how to make a fire effectively. Or how to throw knives, use spears, make nets and fishing line. They think they’re professional because the Capitol has trained. The only thing they might be good at is medical, but even then, where are you going to find morphine in the middle of the games?

They’re good for if you have the backpacks in the games. With the plastic, the backpacks, sleeping bags, and iodine. You can survive without all of those, and for the Capitol to put the idea that they need them to survive is ridiculous.

Boil water, find shelter, hunt for food, know your leaves and berries for remedies. Don’t count that you team up with the careers. Or that you’ll be able to get those backpacks, or those weapons.

Expect the worst. Never the better.

You continue eating, answering some of their questions. They want to know when the interview is, and what they’re wearing. You haven’t seen their outfits just yet, so you can’t answer that for them, neither would you. Laurel and Pleurisy would want it to be a surprise.

As for the interviews, you can tell them when that is. They ask who they should make friends of, and you ask who they thought stood out more in the reapings.

To you it’s always the careers, and district seven. The careers are obvious, district seven is because they know how to wield axes, they’ll be very good if they get their hands on some. They might be very good with fires too. District three is an always. They know how to make weapons, just the same as their sister district, two.

They say nearly the same, and you tell them to make friends out of the smart ones. They’ll be useful later on. If they want to run straight to the middle then their stupid. Which sparks an argument with Paslee, saying that getting there first has its advantages. You tell him it doesn’t.

He brings up the fact that you ran to the middle. And for just a second you forget that they were both ten or eleven when you had won your games. You very calmly remind Paslee that you had an alliance with the careers. That there were seven of you, rather than the casual four.

You got to the middle because you’re quick. You didn’t even know you could run that fast until you were running. With Lennox too far behind, trailing. You got lucky in the middle when the sword was in your hands. That had you not swung the sword, then you would have died to the girl from ten. If Trink wasn’t near you, she wouldn’t have killed the boy from five, or whoever it was.

You never truly acknowledged it, but he was coming to kill you. That’s why she threw the sword, to make sure that he wouldn’t come after any of you. Offering that protection that all of you had agreed on.

You tell Paslee that if he runs to the middle when the gong sounds, that he needs to be quick. He needs to be ready to grab the nearest weapon and swing. No matter who it is, but watch out for that alliance he might have with the careers if that’s what he chooses.

He shouldn’t choose that. Either he should stick to Annie, or find someone else to enjoy. Keep a group smaller than four, and split up when there’s a final ten. You don’t tell them this, though.

They both leave the table when they’re tired of asking questions. Elysia had long since disappeared. You eat quietly, making yourself sick when you continue eating, even though you’re full. When you feel like you’re done, you stand and tell them that Finnick won’t be eating.

If he does show, tough shit. He should have been there earlier.

And then, you trudge back to your room. Ripping off the clothes, skipping the second shower as you sit by the window, knees to your chest. You don’t have to sit in here like a caged prisoner. You can go out there and enjoy yourself with your friends. But leaving feels like you’re asking too much, and it’s almost like a chore.

You shouldn’t have said that to Finnick but you were tired of it. If you were dating Gloss, it would be none of his business. You don’t have to justify yourself. You can miss Finnick and love Gloss.

You don’t love Gloss for the record. You’d rather he’d save it for later, a different girl that might show her interest. Someone like Enobaria. That would be a killer couple. Or Enobaria with Brutus. Same district and both hella freaky looking. Brutus has to take some drugs to stay that big, right?

This is so unfair.

You find yourself still sleeping on the floor in the morning. You remember pulling down a pillow and blanket just before you passed out. You didn’t want to sleep on the bed—much less use the blanket and pillows but you had no choice, use them or freeze—because the favoritism is still something you’re not too excited about.

Just looking out the window, you can see it’s about noon. The tributes are in the training center, you hope that Annie and Paslee remember what you told them last night. And you should have probably given them a reason why as well. So they have more of a motivation to keep it to themselves.

The reason would obviously be because of the private session that’ll end up happening after the three days. They’ll need to show off a certain skill. And if they use anything that you had taught them on the train, specifically the knife throwing, or anything to do with the spears, swords, axes…

They seemed skilled with the regular stuff, they should get at least an eight to ten. You still can’t believe you only got a ten on that knife trick. It should have been an eleven. And it’s too bad that you never really got to show it off.

Not that you would ever want to kill two people at once. But could you imagine? Knife throwing would have been so goddamn popular after. People would be dying to learn how, since you did it with one hand.

You get off the floor, tossing the pillow and the blanket back onto the bed. You dig through the dresser for a white shirt, but all they’ve provided you with is tank top after tank top. You settle, but you’ll have to talk to Laurel about it, because there’s no way in hell you’ll wear one every single time you’re on air.

A pair of black shorts is fine, you toss it onto the bed for when you come out of the shower. It’s quick, nothing like you had when you were on the train. You change quickly, pulling on the same pair of boots. You let your hair free, since it feels better that way, but keep a band around just in case you get tired of moving it from your face.

The avoxes seem to have been waiting by your door. You motion to the room, letting them know they can have at it, and then you show up at the table. Food is already sitting there. It’s just you. Everyone else is gone.

Elysia is probably out with Laurel and Pleurisy deciding outfit things. Sorting out the minor details. Probably talking up your tributes like she’s done every single year. She has to, you want as many sponsors as you can wrangle in.

The tribute parade or whatever it’s called–the chariot rides, they give you guys a head start. The reapings and the stations are basically nothing, not focused on unless they win the games. Then they’ll go back and feature it during the recap. Telling it from start to finish.

The chariot ride, the scoring, interviews and the bloodbath. Those are the events that you need to make sure that they know what they’re doing. They did very well during the chariot ride, you’re sure Elysia will come back with compliments from the others. The scoring will be up to Annie and Paslee, you’ll be sure to mention it tonight. And then you’ll have them training for the interviews with every chance you get.

Annie will be able to walk in heels so well, that her ankles and the soles of her feet will be aching. She’ll get a day to recover, and then she’ll have to do it all again. It’s no bother, she’ll be able to sit down during the interview, if she asks. Caesar likes to make sure that his interviewees are comfortable. He makes everything seem natural, he’ll bring out the better in her.

As for the bloodbath, easy. Annie has it down, you’ll just have to worry about Paslee. You’re beginning to think the cocky act isn’t just an act. He might be adapting it as his actual personality. It might bring on sponsors for a little bit, but they’ll get tired of it quickly. They love a strong tribute with a soft heart. If Paslee doesn’t show that, then he’s screwed.

Same for Annie. She can act all kind, but she’ll need to be deadly in the arena. It’ll give the sponsors a twist they weren’t expecting. The games is a show, and if they can provide the unexpected, they’ll be sure to win. Again, you have a good feeling this year. Something is going to be different.

And it’s not because of Finnick.

You get up from the table when you feel like you’re done, but turn to one of the avoxes. You’ve always felt sorry for them, imagine being a servant for a bunch of assholes. They’re degraded to get rid of the attitude, so their self-esteem is gone. You can’t imagine what other mental damage the Capitol does while they’re at it.

“Did Finnick come back at all last night or this morning?” you ask, and the girl nods. She then holds up her finger, and disappears for a second. When she returns, she has a pad of paper in hand.

Of course, Finnick and his paper.

She holds it out to you, you thank her, before turning and heading for the elevator. When you step in, you read over the names. All the last names are ridiculous, all their ancestors had taken up unique last names to differ themselves from the people in the districts. Trying to get rid of all relations they previously had with you guys.

You wonder if your last name would be considered different. Gallows, hanging. You didn’t inherit it from your father, it was more of your mom. Passed down from generation to generation. You, your mom, her mom, and you’re pretty sure your great-grandma had gotten it from the war between the Capitol and the districts.

Changed it. It’s a pretty cool thought to think that the hanging was your legacy. This is what you were meant to do. All a bunch of murderous hanging monsters. Women in your family must be strong. It’s a shame your mom died when she did, she had so much more time.

Had she not died, then there wouldn’t have been as must change as there was in the house. You wouldn’t have learned those valuable skills as quickly and easily. There would have been someone to provide the food, so you wouldn’t have to hop on the boat with your brothers early in the morning. It would take away so many memories.

You wouldn’t change the past, no matter what.

The elevator stops, you look up to see that it’s not the bottom floor. When the doors open, you’re met with Cashmere and Gloss. You flip the top empty pages back on top of the written one to hide what you were looking at, clicking the pen a couple of times.

“What’re you up to?” she asks, looking over.

You show her the empty slip of paper, and then you turn, “What do you think would look good on Annie? Red again or should we go with something different?”

“Actually taking my vote?” she asks, raising her eyebrows, Gloss laughs.

“A light color.” Gloss says.

“Something to bring out her hair!” Cashmere nods, “And you should braid it really cool. Mine won’t listen to me. She doesn’t want to look girly one bit.”

“But she’s fierce, it’s what we need.” Gloss reminds her almost, and she huffs out a laugh.

“As if that’ll bring in sponsors. I hope during the interview she plays pretend at least for a couple of minutes.”

You shake your head, “Don’t have to worry about that. It’s the perks of not being a career district.”

“But you are.” Gloss says, the elevator dings.

You spin your back toward it, beginning to walk out backward, “Not entirely. Four is more exotic than you are.”

“Oh whatever!” Cashmere laughs, following you, “Where are you heading off to?”

“The betting area.” you tell them, Gloss looks to Cashmere.

“I could go there now, you head down to the stylists?” he suggests, “You know I’m not good with fashion.”

“Obviously not.” she motions to his outfit, but then she does the same to you, “Twinsies, I guess.”

“Shut up.” you tell her, laughing.

“I’ll see you two later.” she waves, and then stalks off. It’s a wonder how she’s so nice, yet she can also be so… mean-girl like.

You hadn’t encountered many bullies before the games–because after no one would bother to get within ten feet as if you’d snap and break their neck or something–but the few that had shown. Well, let’s just say that they liked to make fun of the fact that you were parentless. It was ironic, because the girls that would come around, one of two of their own parents were missing.

The pot calling the tea kettle black, huh?

“So how do you feel about Finnick being back?” Gloss asks after some walking in silence.

“Haven’t seen much of him.” you smile at Gloss, “I said a few things to him last night, tried to apologize but he left. Only thing he’s said–or given–to me is a list of potential sponsors.”

When you hold up the paper, he laughs, “It’s empty?”

“Not quite. But I don’t want you to steal them away. I know how sneaky you careers are.” you push him a little bit, laughing.

“Oh really? Says you!” he goes to catch up with you, but you begin to run out of grasp, making it a challenge. The both of you are running down the hall, giggling, squealing messes as you avoid him each time he makes a grab.

You try to fly through the door, since Gloss is catching up on you. You might be fast, but he has long legs. And also looks like he exercises regularly, Gloss is huge whether you like it or not.

Anyway, a pair of arms wrap around you, just before you smack into the door. It’s not Gloss, because the person is chest to heat with you. You have the pleasure of looking up to see Finnick.

And your heart seems to jump to your throat and stay there, “Sorry—“

“I need a word with (Y/n),” Finnick tells Gloss kindly.

You look to Gloss, and he shrugs, “Don’t be long. I might just have to take those sponsors.”

“You don’t have the list!” You hold up, but pass it to Finnick. He takes it for safekeeping. The grin passed between you two is mischievous.

Gloss waves, and then goes inside of the courtyard. Finnick lets the door free, and it shuts quietly. You go to move so Finnick can let you go, but he pulls you closer.

“Not jealous.” He tells you, “and you shouldn’t have apologized last night. You were right, the other districts aren’t interested, not as forgiving.”

“I know.” You say, finally hugging him back, “have you seen them today?”

“Yeah, they were excited to get into the training center. I warned them about not showing their special skill until the private session.”

“And the sponsors?”

“Clearly beat you to it.” He laughed, and you pull away from him, “I’m thinking Annie is our best bet. I’m having them focus on her, but they know to look after Paslee too.”

“So then there’s nothing to do, you’ve taken all of it from me.” You tell him, it’s true. He’s done all of your work. The sponsors, talking to the tributes before they went in. You wouldn’t doubt it if he had also gone to Laurel and Pleurisy to check out their outfits.

“Wouldn‘t say that.” Finnick opens the door up again, and lets you go in first.

You go in slowly, looking around the yard. Taking in your surroundings, how many people are here. You’ve come in here a couple of times before. But normally you wait until the games have started to organize sponsors. Being out here with the others, the most prestigious sponsors makes you feel sick.

Finnick takes your hand, probably feeling the anxiety radiating off of you in waves. He then pulls you along to a specific corner, you watch the people then turn to you. You’re not too fond of them in the first place, but the second that you realize that Finnick was sold to these people, that they have bought him and used him for their pleasures, makes you want to go.

You don’t want them on your side. To think that if either Annie or Paslee were to win, they might think they have an automatic right to them.

You turn your eyes to Finnick, “I change my mind.”

“It’s too late. I don’t hold grudges against them.”

“And yet you should.”

“I stayed at the Capitol on my own free will.” He reminds you, but it’s not sweet, it’s bitter.

Yes, he did. All because of you.

#ilguna #finnick odair #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair oneshot #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair fanfic #finnick odair ethereal #ethereal

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hockeygods14 · 4 years

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Brock Boeser - We Made Such a Cute Couple

Masterlist

Word count: 2791

I could see his blonde hair, his blue eyes, his big smile every time I’d close my eyes for months after our break up. So when I saw him in a crowd I knew it was him I had no doubt about it.

The only reason Brock and I broke up was because I was in my last year of school and I was putting my focus on school and Brock had his hockey that he was focusing on. At my graduation I kept looking for Brock thinking he would be there but why would he. I never told him when it was where it was. I advent spoke to him since I picked up my clothes from his place. That was almost two years ago.

There have been many times after graduation I thought about calling him and just catching up but I always talked myself out of it. I have written out text messages and then deleted it. Maybe it was for the best that we broke up. Maybe he found someone new that had the time for him and could be there when he needs someone because I know I wasn’t that person at the time.

“Y/N did you hear a word I just said?” My older brother Jason starts waving his hand in front of my face.

“Ummm no sorry, I didn’t.”

“I asked if you wanted to go to the game with me tonight.” Jason and I use to go to a lot of hockey games before I meet Brock. It was our thing that we did. Since the break, I really haven’t gone to a game with him. I was trying to avoid going so I wouldn’t see Brock.

“I don’t know Jason,” he sighed loudly.

“I can’t even remember the last time we’ve been to a game.” I could hear how upset he was. “I know you haven’t gone since Brock but it been a while since you guys broke up. Its been a while since you have seen or talk to him.”

“Do you still talk to him?” Jason and Brock became really close friends ever since I introduced them. There was one night I went over to Brock’s apartment and I found them both in the living room playing a video game. It was like they have been friends since they were kids. It took Jason a little while to answer and he couldn’t look at me.

“You still hang out with him don’t you?” I got up from my seat and walked into the kitchen. I could hear Jason following me but I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t mad that he was talking to him or hanging out with him I just wish he would have told me.

“Don’t be mad,” I heard him behind me but I don’t turn to look at him.

“I’m not mad just wish you would have told me that you were hanging out with my ex-boyfriend still.” I turn around to face Jason and lean my back against the counter and cross my arms across my chest. “How is he doing?”

“You should ask him.” I rolled my eyes. “I am being serious Y/N call him to text him do something. Come to the game with me. I go down to the tunnels after some of the games and we could go get some drinks.”

“I don’t think so.”

“What else are you going to be doing? Just sit on the couch and watch some movie that you’ve seen already?” He isn’t wrong. I had already pulled out the Harry Potter movies.

“Jason I just don’t-“

“I’m not taking no for an answer so go get changed and let's go.” I thought about it for a minute it would be nice to go to a hockey game again. I've missed the fast pace of the game. I’ve missed seeing a player hit another player into the boards and then sometimes in go into a fight. I’ve missed seeing the goals and the cellies after that said goal.

I miss seeing Brock out on the ice. There were so many times I would be in the stands and he would just look around till he found me the smile on his face made my stomach do flips. Seeing number six skating out there doing the thing he loves.

“Fine, I just don’t have anything to wear.” Jason looked at me like I was crazy.

“What do you mean you don’t have anything to wear? You dated a hockey player. You use to wear a bunch of Canucks stuff and now you're saying you have nothing to wear?”

“Yeah, I have the clothes with his last name on them. I have clothes with his number on them. I can’t wear them.” I go to walk to my room to see if I can find something to wear.

“Why not?” I stop in my tracks and turn around and look at him.

“Why not? Really Jason? I’m not dating Brock anymore. I can’t just show up with his name and number on my shirt.”

“You want to get back with him don’t you?” Where did he get that idea? I mean there would be nothing I would want more than to back with him. Just to see him came home from a road trip and to just stay in for a date night.

“I don’t know what you're talking about,” I started walking towards my room again. I went through my clothes to see what I could wear.

“Y/N do you still have a feeling for Brock?” I didn’t answer him and he didn’t say anything. I finally found a cute white top that I could wear with my jean jacket. It doesn’t have Vancouver on it but it will work.

“You know t really doesn’t matter if I have a feeling for him anymore because he probably has found someone that could give him that time I couldn’t. That has time to go to all his home games. That has time to do the team outings with him. So it doesn’t matter if I d or not.” I started my rant while walking into the bathroom and closing the door after I was done.

I put my back to the door and just went down to the floor. It felt like I was going to cry. My feelings for Brock haven’t left and there were times I wish they were gone but they are just as strong as they ever were. It has taken everything in me not to look him up to see how his season his doing. I unfollowed in on everything. I wanted to see what he was doing where he was going on his offseason but I might see the girl he was seeing.

I finished getting ready and by the time I was done, it was time to go. Jason wasn’t in my room anymore and I didn’t expect him to be. I heard him talking to someone but I didn’t hear another voice which meant he was on the phone.

“Dude it's a yes or no answer. Don’t play twenty questions with me right now.” There was a pause that I’m guessing the person on the other end was talking.

“Well tell me this why did you break up with Britt?” I don’t know anyone named Britt so its no one I know. I walked out of the hallway so Jason could see I was ready. He looked up at me and he looked disappointed.

“Man there is your answer then. I have to go Ill talk to you later.” With that, he hung up the phone and got off the couch. “You couldn’t wear any of the clothes Brock got you?”

“No because I don’t want to wear any of those.” I saw him roll his eyes.

The car ride there was silent neither one of us said anything.

We got to our seats and we didn’t anything to each other. I was starting to think he was mad at me and I didn’t know know why. Once the game started I knew we wouldn’t be talking. Our seats were three rows up from the ice. I was really hoping that Brock wouldn’t see me or any of the team really because then they would tell Brock.

I tried to not watch number six but it was hard. He got a breakaway. He skated up the goal did a fake shot one way and then wen the compete opposite and got it into the back of the net. He skated up to the glass near where Jason and I were sitting looked in the fans cheer then I saw that he looked right at me. I’m not sure if he saw that it was really me because he didn’t look back or maybe he didn’t care that I was here.

He did see me because once the second intermission came he didn’t skate off the ice right away he went right where we were sitting looked at me and point at me the then pointed at the tunnel. I knew what that meant. He did it a lot when we first started dating. It meant he wanted me to come down to the tunnels after the game. I got up from my seat need to get away from my brother and away from the ice for a little bit. Jason caught my arm before I could fully getaway.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to get another beer.” I held up the empty beer that was I holding. I just hope he couldn’t see I was lying and it looked like he bought it because he let go of my hand.

I watch on the tv that the third period started and I still didn’t want to go back to the seat. Maybe it was a bad idea to come here. I looked back at the tv again and see there were ten minutes left. Maybe I should just leave I’ll text Jason that I left.

Once the game ended with the Canucks winning everyone was leaving. I knew Jason would be going to the tunnels. I decided to walk around a little bit more and to think a little bit more. I looked at my phone and saw there were a bunch of missed calls from Jason and one voicemail. I open up the voicemail and listen to it.

“Y/N I don’t know if your still here at the arena but I’m guessing you left and went home. If by any chance your still here come down to the tunnels and talk to him. You might think he has a girlfriend but I’m going to tell you he doesn’t. He broke up with a girl because she wasn’t you. He asks how you are doing every time I hang out with him. Just think about it.” The voicemail ended after that.

I just looked at my phone and saw the time it was around the time the guys would become out of the locker room. I walk over to the door the went downstairs. Walking down these halls brought back many many memories or Brock and I. I started hearing a bunch of voice as I got closer. Once I rounded the corner I saw the family and friends of the players. The first player that I see that sees me and is the captain Bo Horvat.

“He’s really happy that you're here.” He walks up to me gives me a hug. I smiled up at him and returned the hug.

“I’m nervous to see him.”

“Don’t be,”

I saw where Jason was standing but I don’t go over there yet because I see him wave at someone and I follow where he is looking it was Brock. I froze where I was stand. Brock walked up to my brother and did there bro hug and started talking. I saw Brock’s shoulders go down as though he is disappointed.

All of a sudden I got the feeling to walk up to him. The out of nowhere I started walking over there. My mind was thinking of turning around while my body was thinking the complete opposite. I started to hear what Jason and Brock were talking about.

“I’m sorry I know you were-“ Jason started but stopped when he saw me walk up which made Brock look and I think my heart stopped. “I think I will go over there and talk to whoever will talk to me.”

“Out of all the Canucks shirts that you have you choose to wear a plain white shirt?” He was the first to break the silence that was going between the two of us. I looked down at what I was wearing even though I knew that I had put on.

“I couldn’t wear any of those.” I didn’t look at him

“And why not?”

“Because they had your name or number or both your name and number on it.” I looked up into his beautiful eyes.

“What’s wrong with wearing my name on your back? You always looked cute with my name on you.” He took a step closer to me.

I couldn’t be this close to him not when I know I still have feelings for him and I have no idea how he feels about me. I took one step back and walked down the hall that I came from but I felt someone grab my arm and pull me in a room and closed the door. I turned and saw Brock. He pushed me up against the door and put both hands on both sides on my head. I could feel his hot breath on my face. If I moved forward just a little bit our lips would touch.

“Brock what are-“

“There was no reason for us to break up,”

“No reason? We were both busy doing our own things. I had school and studying for long hours. You had hockey traveling for games practices all the time. We didn’t have time for each other.”

“But I loved you,” well there you go he said ‘loved’ past tense.

“Then why do you have me up against a door standing so close to me?” I could tell he was a little confused.

“I mean I love you. I loved you then and I love you now Y/N. We could have worked with it. You didn’t have much schools left. We made such a cute couple and we still can.” I was a little taken back. He said he loves me still.

I didn’t know what to say or what to do the only thing that I could think of was to kiss him. I mean his lips are right now and they have always been so kissable. I use to tell him that all the time when I would just kiss them randomly. So that’s what I did I kissed him and everyone says fireworks go off when they kiss someone but all I could hear was my heart beating fast because I was finally kissing the love of my life again. We pulled away to catch our breath.

“They were just so kissable I had to,” I gave him a small smile hoping he would get what I was trying to say.

“Does that mean we can try again?”

“Yes.” The smile that he had was the one I would dream about all the time when I would think of him and it’s just how I remember it.

We walked out of the room that he pulled me into and has soon as we out back to where everyone was still talking with the family and friends he bursts out and says “she agreed to date me again,” everyone laughed. Jason walks up to us and gives us a hug.

“Well, it’s about time. I was getting tired of hearing this one,” points at Brock “ask how you are doing. I got tired of you hiding your feelings like they weren’t even there.” Brock and I laughed and rolled our eyes.

“At least we’re are together now.”

#brock boeser #vancouver canucks #NHL #NHL imagines #NHL fanfiction #hockey #hockey imagines #Hockey Fanfiction

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miracleboiz · 4 years

Text

Making a Home Ch 11

Kita Shinsuke had experienced a lot in life. He had been raised with his grandmother, a loving foster parent and for some time he followed in her foot steps before finding his own path. He thought his foster care license had expired before getting a call at three am with two small boys thrust into his arms. Miya Osamu and Atsumu, from broken homes but still fighting. Thirty days before his license expires. Thirty days to make a choice, keep the boys or let them be separated into different homes. Thirty days to fall in love with them.

Words: 4k

Relationships: Gen

Warnings: Mention of past child abuse, non-graphic abuse

Not from Kita, but it is mentioned. I will post any warnings before any panic attacks or vague descriptions of abuse.

Read below or on AO3

“I know for a fact that you’re not supposed to be here,” Aran said, barely glancing over at the pair of six year olds who had slipped through the doors of the gym. One of them shied away, looking over at the floor as his fingers curled in his friend’s shirt. The other just shrugged, messy black hair falling in his eyes.

“Hitoshi’s parents said they don’t care,” The boy said, pushing his hair back.

“Which is why I was talking to you.” Aran tossed the volleyball towards the middle schooler server and turned to face the two newcomers. “Rin-kun, your parents said you weren’t supposed to come here anymore because it’s too far from home.”

“My parents only said that because you asked them. They won’t be home until after ten anyways,” Rintaro shrugged, brushing his messy hair out of his face again. “If you call them they’ll say ‘Uh huh, mmm, that’s fine, Rintaro’s very mature for his age he knows how to get home… I have to get back to work’ and then hang up on you. Well… If you can actually get a hold of them.”

“You know I still have to call them though… Go sit with Lady and if they say no, I’m walking you back home.”

Rintaro hesitated for a moment before he glanced at Hitoshi’s rather worried stare drilling into Aran’s chest.

“Call my parents all you want… but don’t blame Hitoshi-kun, he hasn’t done anything wrong. His parents really don’t care, they’re gone by the time he gets home so they said as long as he’s home before curfew it’s fine. He didn’t do anything wrong.” Rintaro’s back seemed to crack with the force of him standing up straight, eyes like daggers waiting to strike if Aran seemed to turn against his friend in any way.

“I know. Hitoshi’s not in trouble Rintaro-kun. You’re the one disobeying your parents. I’m going to talk with them and see what they want to do, they’ll decide if you need to go home or not. Now, go sit with Lady.” Aran didn’t let his voice betray his true emotions, waiting until the two turned to make their way to the corner of the gym where Aran’s dog was watching the current game beside the open doors leading to the outside arena. Rintaro just looked vaguely annoyed, not that Aran could really blame him.

Suna Rintaro had been trying to sneak into the middle-schools after school clubs for a month now. Often dragging his best friend Ginjima Hitoshi along with him. Last week Aran had heard from the Kendo instructor that Rinataro had been found showing off perfectly executed moves to Hitoshi with a stolen bamboo sword. He’d been impressed enough he hadn’t actually punished Rintaro but he had been banned from the building with an offer to join them when he was actually in middle school.

The week before that Rintaro had been hauled out of the tea ceremony club for pointing out that the instructor had actually swapped three parts around. Hitoshi begging for his friend had been the only thing that had kept him from being marked for that one.

Each time his parents had been called and each time they had dismissed it, insisting Rintaro wouldn’t do it again and he was just bored. True though that was, it didn’t help that now Rintaro was trying to play volleyball when he was too young to have the proper muscles for it and had no formal training. When Aran had called when the black haired child first appeared with a volleyball in hand, his parents had finally seemed to take him seriously and ordered Rintaro home and said they didn’t want him anywhere near the middle school.

That had lasted only two days.

Aran kept his eye on the two, watching them take a seat beside Lady and stroke through her fur. He dialed the number he had and waited for them to answer while watching Hitoshi pick out grass from the dog’s fur.

True to Rintaro’s statement, his parents had completely forgotten about the talking they had given him and quickly insisted it was fine as long as Rintaro wasn’t getting into trouble. Which… Aran could admit Rintaro hadn’t actually done anything wrong, he simply happened to be where he shouldn’t. As long as Rintaro was careful and didn’t push himself or Hitoshi… Aran could survive letting them join in on some practices as long as his actual club wasn’t bothered, but he had a duty to make sure they were properly trained and didn’t hurt themselves and that came before teaching Rintaro and Hitoshi.

He hung up the phone with a quick thanks and slipped it back into his pocket.

“Yoshimoto! Keep your arms up, the ball won’t hit your face,” He called, the child squeaking out an agreement before he moved back into position to block again. “Nakamura, remember accuracy comes before power. If you can get it in between two players that’s better than blowing it out of bounds, but you’re doing good.”

He watched the game for a second longer before making his way towards Rinataro and Hitoshi who were now watching him with apprehension. He squatted next to them, reaching out to scratch Lady’s ears gently as the poodle yawned and laid her head on the floor.

“If you listen to me, I’ll let you two stay here and teach you how to play. But I don’t want either of you trying to keep up with them, got it? They’re almost twice your age and their bodies are stronger, you’ll get hurt if you try to push yourself.” He said, looking directly at Rintaro who quickly looked away before nodding. “I mean it. If you want to have fun, we can lower the net and teach you, but no trying to play with their weights or run ten miles.”

Rintaro shuddered, shaking his head quickly. Aran glanced over at Hitoshi to see him doing the same thing.

They were probably just bored out of their minds. They weren’t bothering anyone, so as long as they wanted to play Aran couldn’t turn them away. After all, it was never too early to learn the basics of the game.

“Good… Now c’mon, next time bring gym clothes,” He ordered, hustling them over towards the edge of the net. The libero was holding the ball hostage as Aran guided the much smaller children closer. Two more students were holding him down attempting to get the ball back and the shrieks of laughter echoed in the gym, Aran just shook his head fondly and whistled for their attention.

“Line up! These two are going to be joining us today, maybe more. So I expect you all to be on your best behavior and no wild moves,” Aran glanced over at Nakamura who immediately looked away, “they’re newbies so we’re going to be teaching them the rules okay?”

A series of cheers rose up from Aran’s club, excited about the prospect of getting an easier day for Friday. He shook his head with an internal laugh. If anyone had recommended an easy day to him when he was in middle school, he would have stared at them like they were crazy. How else would he become the best?

Now, though, looking at the sea of children moving forward to introduce themselves he couldn’t help but want to give them a little bit more fun before they started to think about careers and the rest of their lives.

“This is why you’re single,” Rintaro snapped after the final game ended and he was breathing heavy as he tried to drain the last few drops out of his bottle. Aran couldn’t help but quirk an eyebrow, that wasn’t really an elementary kid thing to say, Rintaro shouldn’t have known he wasn’t married anyways.

“Oh? Because I spend every day chasing after kids like yourself who don’t know the meaning of rules or consequences?”

“I know rules!” Rintaro spun so quickly Aran was taken aback, neither of them noticed the bottle falling to the floor. “I don’t know what… con… the other thing is but I know what rules are. They’re stupid things adults make up so they don’t have to deal with me. Like that only older kids get to do things, or that I can’t bother my parents with questions, or that I’m supposed to be quiet when adults are talking. So what! I want to talk too! You don’t get to tell me anything!”

The fire in his eyes made Aran blink quickly, before Hitoshi was hurrying to Rintaro’s side and whispering in his ear. Instantly Rintaro’s ire slipped away and he dropped his head down.

“Please don’t be mad at him Ojiro-san,” Hitoshi bowed his back, smiling softly up at Aran. “He just repeats what his Okaa-san says, he doesn’t mean it. I’m sorry. He just… gets angry.”

“Sorry, Ojiro-san… I don’t know if you’re single… S’just what my Okaa-san says. Sorry.” Rintaro said again, his tone clipped and formal. Not for the first time, Aran wondered if his family came from old money or business or if they were truly that traditional that Rintaro wouldn’t use a more familial term.

“Consequences,” Aran started slowly as he leaned down to grab the bottle and press it back into his hand, “are what happens when you break rules or do something bad. You didn’t get in trouble when you stole the Kondo sword, being told to come back when you can join isn’t a punishment Rintaro-kun. Tanaka-san would have been well within his right to ban you even when you were old enough, but he didn’t. So you didn’t have any consequences, understand?”

Rintaro glanced up at him, taking the bottle quietly before slowly nodding.

“Yes sir… So… What are my con… conse… consecu… consequences for today?” Rintaro’s voice was drained, he looked far more tired than any six year old had any right to be. A flash of Osamu and Atsumu’s own faces made their way into Aran’s mind and his heart softened.

Part of him wanted an actual punishment for Rintaro, to show him that boundaries existed that his parents couldn’t weasel him out of. Keeping him from the court for a few days, or calling his homeroom teacher to walk him home personally, nothing too drastic but enough to show him that rules would be enforced, especially safety ones. However, Aran thought that Rintaro did understand that he would get in trouble for things. It just seemed the only way anyone other than Hitoshi paid attention to him was if he was in trouble, and the last thing Aran wanted to do was continue that cycle.

“You don’t get to hold onto Lady’s leash. Hitoshi? You wanted to walk her right? Go get her up.” Aran nodded over at the poodle who’s tail started to thump loudly. Hitoshi lit up, quickly running towards the dog whose tail only got faster while Rintaro’s face twisted into a pout.

“But Ojiro-san-” He started to whine only to stop, looking down again like he’d been properly chastised for once.

“Mmhmm, I’m walking you two home. So I know you,” Rintaro rolled his eyes at the comment, “actually go home. Rules aren’t for avoiding you Rintaro-kun. I don’t know about the ones for your parents, but the others are to look out for you. You see how sore your arms are? You only did a little bit of the work the other boys did. You have to work up to that, while your body’s getting stronger. Then, you can block all of them.”

Rintaro rocked back and forth, lips twisting into multiple increasingly dramatic pouts before finally settling on a hopeful look. Lady’s nose greeted Aran’s elbow as Hitoshi stepped up beside them, smiling brightly at them.

“You… think I can Ojiro-san?” Rintaro said slowly, one hand reaching out to pat at Lady’s snout. “Block other’s spikes?”

“Yes I do. But you have to train and be careful as your body gets stronger. Push it too hard and you won’t be able to play at all.” Aran straightened up, smiling down at the two. “Now come on, there’s a coffee shop around the corner. I can get you some hot chocolate to drink on the way home okay?”

“I’m just saying- Fuck, Iwaizumi, don’t kill me- that if this was back before I left the country then it would be a different story.” Aran stared at the two extra twenty-five pound weights Iwaizumi was carrying over. “If you don’t want to listen to me complain, you could have just told me to shut up.”

Iwaizumi laughed, the personal trainer rolling his eyes as he slid the weights onto the bar. He hooked them into place before moving behind Aran to spot him as Aran laid back on the work out bench and grasped the bar.

“C’mon, you said you wanted to work your shoulder up to where it was. You’ve been slacking on it, your physical therapist called me the other night. Shoulda told you that Ennoshita knows me personally from our college days. Now, tell me again who this about…. Kita? Right?” He asked, tapping Aran’s shoulder to tell him to move. Aran shot him a glower that was met with a smooth eyebrow before he started to lift the bar.

“Yeah Kita… We went to highschool together… He was my volleyball captain, though he wasn’t on the court much. Don’t think he ever flubbed a receive or a serve though…” Aran grunted as he pushed the bar up and pulled it back down to his chest. “We were really close in highschool and then out of it… till I went out of the country three years ago...well actually more like six… I was… I mean…”

Hajime nodded understandingly, hands ready to grab the bar if Aran started to shake.

“I realized I was in love with him at the end of highschool but I was going to the other end of the country to join a team… We talked constantly and then we… grew apart. He was taking over his parent’s old business when his aunt passed away and I was going out of the country constantly to play games. Then I got recruited to actually join outside of the country… I’m pretty sure this constitutes as inhumane torture.” Aran groaned as he finished his first rep and put the bar back down. Iwaizumi just looked amused as he patted his shoulder.

“All torture is inhumane, but I never said I was humane. Now come on, do your shoulder stretches, tell me if anything hurts.” Iwaizumi hummed, nodding along as Aran stood and moved to the corner wall so he could lean on it as he stretched. He pressed a palm flat against the wall, leaning forward until his chest pressed against the corner and started to slowly walk his arm up the wall.

“My ego hurts.”

“Oh so I’m doing my job then.” Iwaizumi laughed, turning away to add more weights to the bar for squats. “Keep going, I’m actually really interested in how this ends. My boyfriend had a similar issue, but he just screamed that he loved me every time we video chatted so it ended up working out.”

“Oh… I’m pretty sure Shinsuke would have my head… or call a doctor. It sounds like something Michinari would do to be honest.” Aran grunted as his arm reached the furthest point and he held it still. “Anyways, we went from seeing each other every month or so and talking multiple times a week to… seeing each other once a year for the team reunion… Then I got injured blah, blah, and came home and realized… Is it stupid? Am I stupid for still being in love with him.”

He let his arm fall, giving himself a few seconds to breathe before moving to the now benchless workout set. He slid under the bar, letting it settle on his shoulders before straightening and stepping back.

“Like… It’s been six years since I could say I really knew him… He’s changed, I could see that just the other night… Not dramatically, but he’s… softer. Before he was all hard edges and brutal honesty which was great it was him, but it’s tempered… he’s still him but he’s different. And… I know I’m an idiot but I’m still in love with him… But it’s been so long since we were close, can I even call that love at this point? Or am I just… pining after a past long gone?”

“Hmm,” Iwaizumi’s voice nearly made him jump, but he sounded like he was genuinely thinking it over. “I would say… you’re still in love with the guy you knew but now it’s time to find out if you can fall in love with the guy he is. You’re already halfway there, you know he’s different and you still sound just as gay as my boyfriend. You’ll be fine.”

“I mentioned he has kids right?”

Iwaizumi froze before relaxing with a soft snort.

“No, no you didn’t. But honestly that’s hilarious, you love kids and now your dream guy comes with them. Who did you say this was again? Kita… Shin… Shinsuke? I think I know him. Well, I know a Shinsuke and he just started fostering kids.”

“Do you just know everyone in town?” Aran snorted, pulling out of a squat as Iwaizumi shrugged.

“Basically, when you meet my boyfriend you’ll understand. Or when he meets you, he’ll be the one with stupid hair shaking Shinsuke and screaming while pointing at you.” Iwaizumi laughed, but his eyes were filled with affection and the curve of his lips couldn’t quite lose the smile.

“You always call him, ‘my boyfriend’ and never by his name… Is there a reason or are we not close enough friends for that?”

“I’ve been torturing you for nearly half a year, I think we’re good enough friends… though don’t tell my other clients. It’s only because you work with me… I call him that because his name is pretty well known and he doesn't like the publicity as much anymore. Once you see him you’ll know instantly who he is, but until then it’s up to him to open that can of worms. But if you know Shinsuke you’ll probably meet him pretty soon.” Iwaizumi said cryptically and Aran wondered if he just had a bad habit of only making friends with the weird kids.

“Yeah sure… Ah, can you grab my phone?” Aran asked as the familiar ringtone played through the empty weight room. Iwaizumi quirked an eyebrow but moved over to the water bottle to grab it and tossed it over as Aran slipped out from under the bar.

Shinsuke-kun

The contact informed him, an old photo of Shinsuke pressed between the four old teammates taking over his screen. Aran glanced up at Iwaizumi who shrugged.

“It counts as your break.” Was all the trainer said before he moved to wipe down the wall and the bar.

Aran rolled his eyes back at him, stepping to the side and answering.

“Aran.” Shinsuke greeted and Aran knew he looked like a fool smiling into his phone. He couldn’t help it. He’d missed his best friend, crush or not he’d been way too alone especially after Oikawa had retired early two years ago after his friend’s sister died and left him with a kid and Oikawa came home to help.

“Shinsuke.” Aran hummed back, listening to the sounds of the twins arguing in the back.

“Am I interrupting you? I probably should have texted.”

“Oh? No no, it’s perfectly fine. You’re perfectly fine. I really don’t mind you calling at all.” Aran made a horrified face to the wall as he stumbled over the simple words. This was ridiculous, it was a phone call not an audition.

“Oh… That’s good. Sorry… Osamu, stop putting the controller in your brother’s pants… No that doesn’t mean put the bag of crackers in there either. I will take away the controller… thank you. Don’t be rude to your brother…. Sorry the boys have finally decided they’re allowed to play with each other and apparently Osamu’s the sneaky one- Osamu! Where did you even get the chopsticks? Go put them away and sit on the armchair, no more minecraft until you apologize to your brother-without laughing. Yeah, shoo… In the sink Osamu they were in your brother’s hair, little one, they need washing… Well that was a mistake.” Shinsuke sighed, but it was endlessly fond even softer than when Akagi was going wild.

Aran could hear Osamu singing about dirty hair in the background before Shinsuke finally ordered him to the chair again. Shinsuke’s voice didn’t change though, he didn’t sound angry or annoyed and Aran couldn’t help but be impressed at his control. They needed discipline but not anger, and Shinsuke was able to do so without panicking them. He should introduce him to Rintaro.

“Sorry, I thought they were distracted but apparently Osamu was just waiting for me to turn away.”

“Don’t apologize, I don’t mind. They’re kids, they’re going to disobey sometimes. Besides, they’re sweet.” Aran soothed the hint of worry in Shinsuke’s tone, grateful that even after all these years he still knew the intricate sounds of Shinsuke’s tones.

“I’m glad you think so...I was going to ask…” There was a strange hesitance to his voice, it pitched just a little sweeter into something Aran couldn’t quite identify. “Did you want to come over for dinner tonight? I have a roast slow cooking so it should be done around seven or eight… I’d like to see you again.”

Aran’s heart froze and jumped into his throat at the exact same time. He was way too gay for this. Slowly he nodded his head before realizing Shinsuke couldn’t see him.

“Yeah of course, I’d love to! Uh… I do have to walk Lady, my dog, at eight. So I might be a little late, she doesn’t like changes to her routine.”

“You have a dog?” Shinsuke was surprised but Aran couldn’t blame him. He didn’t really talk about Lady much, keeping more private information close.

“Yes, a poodle. Got her when I was overseas.”

“Ah…” There was a hearty pause and Aran half expected to hear Atsumu screaming about chopsticks in his hair again before Shinsuke returned. “Is she good with kids?”

“....Kita Shinsuke are you trying to get me to bring my dog over so you can meet her?” Aran let out a warm laugh, mentally seeing Shinsuke’s reddening cheeks. He had forgotten how much Shinsuke loved dogs, having never got one in case his Grandmother moved in with him.

“... Yes.” Shinsuke said a heartbeat later, not a hint of shame in his voice. “I haven’t played with a dog in far too long.”

“Alright, I’ll bring Lady over. She’s great with kids, but she probably won’t do much but lay down until she gets used to your place.”

“Then you can bring her over often.” Shinsuke said quickly and Aran snorted again.

“Are you actually interested in me or the dog?”

“Well… I suppose you’ll have to come over and find out.” If it had been anyone else, Aran would have said Shinsuke sounded flirty. That couldn’t be right though, Shinsuke didn’t flirt. Right? Aran couldn’t be that lucky.

“I guess I will… Iwaizumi is glaring at me, I have to go… I’ll see you tonight then?” Aran asked softly.

“I’ll see you tonight… Atsumu do not destroy his minecraft house,” Shinsuke’s voice faded as the call ended but Aran swore he could hear a smile in his voice.

His own heart warmed at the quiet noises from the twins before the phone went silent. Shinsuke really started his own family, no matter what he said Aran knew he was keeping the boys. Shinsuke was far too attached to them already. Aran supposed that just meant that he had three hearts to win over instead of just one.

He turned back to Iwaizumi.

“I’m pathetically in love already. If he doesn’t adopt the boys I will and I haven’t even known them a week.”

“Write a book, you might get a tear from me.” Iwaizumi laughed, patting the weights next to him. “Let’s keep going before you melt into a puddle of feelings.”

#Haikyuu!!#HQ #Miya Atsumu #Miya Osamu #Kita Shinsuke #Arankita #Inarizaki #fluff #fanfiction #Making a home AU

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myreygn · 4 years

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weak

Out of the Haikyuu!! stories I’ve written so far, this is probably my favourite.

summary: Everyone is weak sometimes, but not everyone can show it to the world. Iwaizumi Hajime is weak too and there's only one person in the universe who is allowed to see that.

Originally posted on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22754911

Inspired by this video on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgzWw6hglzg

Iwaizumi Hajime was strong. Very strong, if not to say incredibly strong, for there weren't many high school students who could fight an old biker with way too many tattoos and survive it without any bruises.

He didn't even think about it any longer. It had always been this way. He was strong and that allowed those around him to be weak from time to time.

It didn't matter if it was Oikawa experiencing some bad self issues when he thought about Tobio for too long or Kunimi having a breakdown after too many hours of being with too many people.

Iwaizumi was strong for them. He held Oikawa and let him cry onto his shoulder and snot into his chest. He talked to Kunimi through the closet door and listened to him. He was just there. And it wasn't something to think about if he should do it or not. He just did it.

It wasn't a problem to be strong. Iwaizumi was proud of being strong. It felt good to help his friends out of their problems and to see how they looked up to him, how he was the only one the Mad Dog listened to and how strangers or people from other schools and teams gulped at his sight of jumping to spike the ball over the net.

Iwaizumi liked to be strong. He was glad that he had been able to gain enough discipline, that he had been able to become this way. Not that there had been any other chance for him.

His aunt had watched some episodes of Game of Thrones with him a few years ago and he didn't remember everything, but there was one scene still stuck in his head: the queen looking at the guy who played Boromir in Lord of the Rings and saying: “When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There's no middle ground.”

This sentence was a pretty good summary of his life at home. He had already known that when he was still a kid, but the moment he heard the sentence coming out of this woman's mouth, he fully realized it. It was dangerous there with his parents, fighting and getting mad and it was horrible but better since the day he got stronger than his father.

There were those days he woke up in the morning and felt the fight rising. He haven't slept longer than until 6am anyways in the last six or seven years, but those days were the worst. When they came, he got up as fast as possible and left the house, no matter if it was hot summer or cold winter and dark outside. He always left a short note on the fridge though – not that there was anyone in the house who would've read it.

In the early mornings he got something to eat and then he took a bus to no matter where. It was warm in them. When he reached the final station, he took the same bus back. And around 10am he went to the gym.

Not always though. Sometimes he'd wait until midday and then visit his friends, asking if he could stay at their place, pretending that he just needed help with some homework. Sometimes Makki, sometimes Mattsun. They spent a lot of their free time at home.

But his first impulse was always Oikawa.

Iwaizumi Hajime was strong. And there was only one person in the world he could allow himself to be weak around.

“Iwa-chan? You're in here?”

No. No, please, no. He shouldn't be here. Nobody should be here.

“Iwa-chan? Are you crying?”

He was supposed to be alone in here. The others were outside, waiting for the bus, they were OUTSIDE …

“Hey, I come in, okay? I come to you.”

He didn't want Tooru to come closer, but the moment he felt his warmth, his arms around his shoulders, he gave in.

“It's okay. It's okay, Hajime. It's okay.”

Sometimes Iwaizumi remembered the good years. Those that vanished long, long ago. The happy years he'd spent in a not-broken household that hadn't been the hell he was living at now. Those years were a bright, good thing to remember, but it was also painful because it would never be bright and good again.

It wasn't his fault, he knew it wasn't. But on some days, when wine wasn't enough anymore, his mother would drink some other stuff. And then she told him … things. Things about him and things about the reason she and his father fought so much.

Iwaizumi didn't know if she was one of the people who were more honest when they were drunk or more mean when they were drunk. He liked to tell himself that he didn't care but then again he caught himself hoping and praying that it wasn't true what she told him. She was his mother after all.

And sometimes it was like it had been before. She came into his room in the evening and sat down and apologized. And then she cried and he held her because he was strong and she was weak and the day after she'd scream at his father again. The day after it was over.

But those short moments were the moments that stopped him from leaving. Those few evenings which made him think that his mother and maybe his father as well would be sad if he would move out and so he came back every night and stayed until next day when the feeling got him up and out of the house again.

Iwaizumi hated it. It felt like he would betray himself every time he threw his bag in the corner and yelled “I'm back!” even though no one ever gave him an answer. Like he would cause another scar on his soul just because he was weak.

It wasn't correct that Oikawa was the only person he could be weak around. Iwaizumi could also be weak when he was alone and couldn't stand the pressure anymore.

Oikawa was just the only one who could catch him before he hit the ground.

“He told me I'm worthless.”

“He told you shit, Iwa-chan.”

It wasn't funny, but he laughed. Just a bit. It felt good.

Tooru stroke through his hair and placed a light kiss on his forehead.

“You're a lot worth to me. I'd definitely miss something if you weren't there.”

“He wanted to hit me. I caught his hand but he almost got me.”

“Good. Just don't stop to stand up. It won't last forever. Soon you'll leave.”

He leaned onto Tooru's shoulder.

“I don't know where to go. I don't want to live alone.”

“Yeah? Me neither. Wow, what a coincidence! Two childhood friends who don't want to live alone and finish school at the exact same time. Hm, I wonder if they'll find a solution?”

He looked at his friend in disbelief, but the only thing he saw in the setter's face was pure honesty and a warm smile.

“Are you serious?”

“Of course! What should I do without my favorite ace yelling at me everyday?”

He couldn't help but sob and cry again, tears of joy this time, and Tooru patted his back and stroke his hair and held him.

“It's okay. It's okay, Hajime. It's okay.”

Iwaizumi didn't know what he would've done without Oikawa. Sure, he was an idiot and a jerk and annoying and silly, but he loved Shittykawa. It wouldn't be a lie to say that Oikawa Tooru was the most important person in Iwaizumi's life.

Sometimes he felt ashamed when he was crying and laying in his arms. He then thought of how this would seem to an outsider: Seijou's scary ace, a baby. A loser. And then he was worried if Oikawa saw him like this.

He didn't like these thoughts. He hid from them as well as he could, but mostly they came at night and the dark wasn't a good place to hide from a shadow. They came closer without him realizing it and then he had nightmares and got up at 4 or 5am and ran through the park until his legs and lungs exploded, tried to escape.

These mornings were the time that made him feel especially weak. And when he was sitting under a tree in the park at 6am, Oikawa was the only one he could call. Then they talked for an hour or maybe two or three and met at the gym after that. It felt good to spike the balls. Like a relief.

And when something broke, Oikawa was there to fix it.

Iwaizumi Hajime was strong. But he was also human. And it was easy to shatter a human into pieces. Ideally there was someone in the back to pick the pieces up and repair the broken body.

That was okay.

“Tooru? Am I weak?”

“You're the strongest person I know.”

“Look at me! I'm crying, telling you about how I feel and what's wrong!”

“Isn't that a strength?”

Tooru smiled his Tooru-smile and looked deep into his eyes.

“People break down from time to time. And the stronger they are normally, the harder it is to get up again. You got up every time. Not alone but with my help. And you know what, Hajime? It's okay.”

Iwaizumi Hajime was weak.

And it was okay.

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balkanradfem · 4 years

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I'm trying to deal with a horrible roommate situation, and I'm gonna go and rant about it, because I'm at loss of what to do.

So she moved in in October, and since I'm poor and stuff I have to share a room with her, but I'm usually fine with that bc I'm a nice calm person who just goes about her business and grows her plants and tells witchy tales. I'm generally friendly with roommates unless I realize they wanna be left alone and have privacy, in which case, I leave them be and make sure they get their alone time in the room. So, she moves in, she's somewhat friendly so I am friendly too, I realize quickly she has no regard for giving others space in the apartment, doesn't clean at all, and loves wasting resources, but I'm thinking, okay, that's not the worst thing in the world and with time she will adapt, probably. She's 19 she has time to figure out how to co-exist.

But, she only got worse, the kitchen and bathroom, and bedroom, and hallway, are now filled with her stuff. Even bathroom and bedroom floor are filled with her stuff. I have zero kitchen surfaces to make food on (even though there are so many, she fills it with her dishes and refuses to put them away, even though I cleaned the cupboards just for her, she refuses to use them). She refuses to keep her clothes in the closet and keeps it on the floor. She keeps her very filthy hairbrush, her makeup, mirror and entire cosmetics on the kitchen table. She doesn't clean, she says she will but the apartment gets absolutely disgusting and she just doesn't care, I end up cleaning bc I can't look at disgusting stuff she leaves in the sink and the bathtub, and I know she'll get them all clogged up and I don't wanna deal with that.

But okay, I let that go, and try to stay friendly even though I sometimes mention that things are filthy and should get cleaned up, she just doesn't seem to care. She gets less and less friendly. Come January, I start planting my lil plants, and put them next to the big kitchen window so they would get some sun. I come to the kitchen to find out she moved them all into the darkest corner to die. This is where my heart gets very cold. I didn't touch any of her stuff over the entire kitchen, but my 3 small trays of plants are in her way? I ask her to leave them, and then every single time I enter the kitchen, my plants are in the darkness. I end up making a small desk out of carboard, and put it in a place where light hits, but where roommate wouldn't see them. So okay I dealt with that, somehow.

So the roommate smokes, and I'm heavily allergic to cigarette smoke, so does it on the balcony. Balcony doors are in the bedroom, where I'm usually working. She goes outside and stays out for 2 hours often, and it's cold outside, but she doesn't care because she comes from a colder climate than I do. She refuses to close the balcony doors. Insists that the room needs airing. Insists to air the room for 2 HOURS. While it's below zero celsius outside. Which I notice is ridiculous and I try to close the doors because I'm FREEZING inside. She argues with me about how she can't breathe in the room and looks at me expecting me to be GRATEFUL she's airing it out so much, but my nerves are starting to thin as I know I already air the room every day as soon as I get up, and I'm forced to wear my outside gear in my bed and still freeze. Then one day, she leaves in the morning, and I take a chance to wash my hair, thinking I'll be able to let it dry in my room (I don't have a blowdryer I just wait for it to dry). She comes home suddenly, sees me, with my COMPLETELY WET HAIR, opens the window on other side of the apartment, and opens the balcony door wide open. I was speechless. I went to close the door, the outside was literally frozen, and she got MAD AT ME. So now my heart is very, very cold, since this person just spat in my face to get sick for her.

So now I'm at the very end of patience, and next time she opens the balcony door I pick up an argument. I have been airing the place entire day, and there was no way I was going to freeze for her. She insists on having no air, but watch this, every time she "airs" the bedroom, she spends zero time in it, and goes into the kitchen, which she leaves warm for herself. She only has me freezing in it, for no reason. She tells me it's my fault for spending the time in the room, and I argue back. She argues that I don't heat the water enough, which I debunk immediately because I know how water heater works and besides, she spends 100% of hot water each day, it's 80L of hot water. And then when she can't beat me in a logical argument, she goes "oh yeah? i'll move out of here without telling you, i'll just disappear one day" and i snap and yell back "YOU THINK I WANT YOU HERE? YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO KEEP YOU FROM LEAVING?" to which she stammers and gets all confused and goes all whiny "are you kicking me out?"

and I couldn't even collect myself because, what the fuck, what the fuck just happened, she THREATENED me with moving out and now tries to imply i'm doing something wrong by telling her to go ahead and leave? I said I don't kick people out but she obviously doesn't want to live here and this is not acceptable living situation. And she says she'll move out as soon as she finds another place.

It's a week later, and she doesn't seem to be moving out at all. We don't speak to each other anymore, and the tension in the room could be cut with a knife. I know she feels complete hatred for me and I do for her too. I want her to leave so badly. But, instead, she's now trying to "follow the rules" or whatever, she's closing the balcony doors when she goes outside, and once she even cleaned the stove top. She leaves a bit of hot water for me so I can use the shower like a person. I am now worried that her declaration of "i'm moving out" was just something to say so she'd end the argument on her terms and she actually had no intentions of moving out because she's obviously having a great time in the apartment filled with her stuff, cleaned by someone else, where she doesn't even have to follow the basic minimum of consideration towards other people. I'm hoping she's going to get tired of living in such a tense situation because things are EXTREMELY tense, we don't look at each other but we both know the other is mentally throwing daggers at the other.

Because of all this, I've been so tense, so anxious and exhausted and constantly triggered because living with someone who hates me is a very bad setup for trauma recovery. I started to not eat again and my stomach hurts at all times. I don't know how to make her want to go away. I'm starting to wake up every morning just going outside in the cold to not have to be around her. I briefly considered peeing on her stuff. But then what she would do to my stuff. Ugh.

Give me ideas, what would you do to make someone NOT want to live with you, if you're a naturally sweet and quiet person and also don't want to risk damage being done to you. She has her family to back her up, I have absolutely no one. Usually being cold and refusing to even look at the other person would be enough for them to know they're despised but she has a huge net of friends and doesn't care abt what I think. What I got going is: being on great terms with all neighbors, being the one who is in the contact with the landlord and who surrenders rent and pays all bills, and generally having a lot of hate inside of me for anyone who messes with my recovery.

#rant #roommates #personal story #cptsd #i'm UPSET #AND SHE WONT LEAVE

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