#then get all upset with me when im reasonably confused and worried about who wouldve sent that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hazelolive · 4 years

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So I comissioned @anjchan8 to draw my ocs and I orginally was going to make it into like a devilgram with a short cute fluffy story added to it but! I thought of a way to include it to Kera and Damien’s main story. I absolutely love how it came out and feel it displays exactly how Both Kera And Damien feel at the end of this part of there story. (plus there so pretty like looooooook at em ^_^)

It had been 2 days since Kera had seen Damien and she was growing worried. Sure she was shocked to find out that he wasnt human like her but after that talk she had with mammon she had started to calm down about it. She was still a tiny bit annoyed that he didnt tell her because younger her probably wouldve found it awesome, but slightly more understanding now that there probably was a reason behind him keeping it secret.

She however was worried about her friend. She hadnt seen him in 2 days and any time she asked lucifer were he was hed say something stupid like. That doesnt matter, or kera im busy, please leave my study. Mammon didnt know where he was either. Which made sense because he left to follow her and She hadnt been able to get ahold of Diavolo.

So she was here worrying about the state of her friend and how it must of looked with her just walking out upset and almost crying after he acidently revealed his big secret to her. She had checked the addict twice and even cast a detect magic spell shed learned from Simon just to make sure lulu didnt pull any of his old tricks that he did with Belphy.

But she couldnt find him. She had searched the house of lamentation top to bottom while bothering Luci on mutiple ocassions. But he just wasnt here. She had been pacing the floor for 2 hours now and she was tired of waiting. She grabbed her ddd and decided she was going to storm diavolos castle if she must.

It was a little weird heading to the castle without any of the brothers with her to act as a guide. But luckily she didnt run into any trouble. She entered through the grand doors. She had gotten this but there was a sense of now what? This was a big castle with many rooms probably some of them hidden or off limits she she shouldnt just go exploring.

She decided that she might as well look for diavolo she was about to start her search when she ran into someone. She looked up after letting out a audible umph and saw she had ran straight into barbattos.

"You should be more careful Kera. Wouldnt want you to hurt yourself now would you?"

"Barb! Im sorry about that. I didnt mean to run face first into your chest."

"Its fine im just glad you didnt run into anything less forgiving, like a stone pillar for instance." He said knocking on the one behind him.

She gave off a little nervous laugh. Well this was embarrassing.

"What do we owe the pleasure of this unexspected visit?"

"I need to speak to diavolo. Theres someone im trying to find."

"Aw do you mean your little friend?"

She looked up surprised for a second.

"How did you- wait I shouldnt ask of course you would know."

He just gave off a little amused laugh.

"Right this way."

Kera tentively followed barbatoss, down a few hallways, and a long corridor till he opened the door to a room and on the other side damien sat. horns still on display but he seemed to be in a fresh pair of clothes.

She was relieved to see him and he didnt seem any worse for wear

"Damien! Your alright! Thank goodness." Kera said throwing her arms around him.

"You say that as if you exspected us to harm him." Barbattos said with a small laugh.

"Well not you but I know luci was in the room when I left and I know how he can get. Plus he refused to tell me anything concerning him after the fact. "

"Well I can asure you lucifer or luci as you like to call him was only able to give him a good tongue thrashing. Diavolo made sure of that."

"Can you give him my thanks."

"It would be my pleasure but im sure he'd love to hear from you."

"Alright and Lucifer probably wont admit it himself but he may have been annoyed because of all the paperwork he had to help fill out concerning Damiens sudden Arrival."

"Oh! Is that why he wasnt around for 2 days?"

"Yes, we had to ask him all sorts of questions, like who was he, where did he live before, how did he get here, Where he will be living now, etc. But we finished up all the paperwork this morning and gave him his own ddd so he should be free to go."

"Thank you so much Barbattos. Im sorry you guys had to go through so much trouble."

"It was no trouble at all but im sure you two have plenty to catch up on so ill excuse myself for now." He said giving a slight bow and leaving the room.

As soon as she left she found herself drifting back over towards damien.

"So I see you got yourself a nice new pair of clothes."

He didnt say anything just kept her back to her.

"Damien?"

No response.

She began to worry. Was he mad at her?

She put her hand on his shoulder and he turned further away almost violently.

She was confused but then she heard the tiniest of sniffles. Oh no. She leaned over him to see he was crying.

"Damien! Whats wrong!" She started to panic. He looked fine before but now he was crying and she wasmt sure why.

"Dont Look at me! I cant get them to go away when im like this."

"What are you talking about? Are you talking about your horns-"

"I cant pretend to be human. To be like you when im like this."

"Hey, hey, hey you dont have to pretend to be anything!" She said running around so he could she her.

She looked up and saw him open his tear stained eyes.

"But you said. Your were so upset when you found out what I was. And I was so worried and tired after searching that I didnt have the energy to hide it."

"Hey Listen here." She said as she gently grabbed his face and wiped away some of the tears that had just fallen from his eyes. "I dont care if your a demon. You could be a demon, a human, and angel it doesnt matter to me."

"But you said-"

"Im not done. You could be any of those and it wouldnt change my opinion of you. I was upset and shocked because you never told me and it felt like you didnt trust me or care enough about me to let you in on a big factor of your life."

"It has nothing to do with that! Of course I trust and care about you. I was afraid you hate me that you'd call me a monster and never want to see me again."

"I could never serriously hate you! I love you to much to ever hate you!"

Kera visibly stiffened. What had she just said!?

"You love me?" He said as his last few tears fell.

"No......."

"You love me." He started to smile. "You actually love me."

"Shut up I dont."

"You said it you cant take it back now."

"I said I loved you not that I was in love with you."

"You love me."

"How many times are you going to say that." She started to pout she was embarrassed enough as it was. She didnt mean to say it in the first place it just sort of slipped out. She was glad he stopped crying and was happy now but now she just kind of wanted to hide.

It was her turn to hide her face as he tried to peek around at her blush. He tried seeing her face but every time shed turn some so he was only able to catch glimpses. Well if she was going to be like that.

Without a second thought he scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder. He was just really happy now. He was basically over the moon. He could feel the wicked grin start to spread across his face and was glad that Kera was over his shoulder because she probably would've smacked him for it.

"What do you think your doing!"

"Gee I wonder."

"Put me down!"

"I don't think I will not for a while anyway."

"Do you even know where your going!?"

"Nope."

@butter-beel @anjchan8

#obey me #obey me kera #obey me damien #obey me my oc's #kera #damien #barbatoss #diavolo #lucifer #luci #written piece #commision #will edit later for typos/what i did before tumblr eat my first edit #long post

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esmiblood90irisglimmer · 5 years

Text

Say No To This (Eliza Version/Role-Reverse)

Disclaimers: LONG FANFIC!!!

Theodosia POV

Another warm summer night engulfed the city NYC where I began yawning and realizing it was already past ten o'clock. Deciding to wrap things up by going through one last files one last time before going home. Knowing Aaron would be worry sick that I stay longer at work than I’ve intentionally. Oh well, at least I can have my handsome holding me in his strong arms. Just thinking about me make me blush and giddy all shyly, which I know it’s stupid for a grown woman to be acting like a teenage girl again. Hey, that’s love for you especially being married to the man or women you’ve been for more than a decade. It’s a magical experience when you created the wondrous memories as a married couple. There’s going to be ups and downs and which is part of life and you just have to accept it. Even when you’re in complete denial. Which I could say for a certain I know that writing completely non-stop at the office next door.

You see, my old friend my dearest Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton is working her ass off to the brink of exhaustion. I worry about her but knowingly how stubborn and hard headed she can be sometimes. I often worry about her physical and mental state. I hope she doesn’t scare me like last month when she was buried alive under all those paperworks. That woman is seriously gonna give me a heart attack one these days. Anyway, as a good friend basically the mother friend of our group. I always tend to check up on her before leaving the office. Knowing that her answer will be that she’ll be spending another night here at the orphanage. I wasn’t going to argue with her about it but still at least take one day off. Then again it has taken her husband almost a decade to finally take a break from work. Well, like wife, like husband as some may say.

I see her with papers scatter around the desk with multiple profile of some the new orphanages we receive from other states. Lightly knocking on the door which caught Eliza attention which she given me her usual soft smile.

“Yes, Mrs. Burr. Is there anything you need?” she asks

“No, I’m letting you know that I’m heading home now. It’s already past ten o’clock so Aaron is probably worry sick about me”

Eliza chuckle lightly before understanding that Aaron is a bit overprotective of me but in a cute way. Deep inside her heart she was longing for the company of Alexander but he and their children were at Upstate. Apparently, visiting her father until catching up with Lafayette mid-way through the journey to South Carolina. They wanted surprise John with a visit of their own unannounced. I can understand her loneliness but she made the choice to stay behind for the orphanage and for me. We share our goodbyes before taking my leave as I left the door to be locked. Since I didn’t want any strangers or psycho manic having the intention to murder my innocent friend. Anyway, during my walk on the way I notice a tall male with a noticeable black eye. I whine on the inside feeling that he either got it from a bar fight or from his wife.

Domestic abuse isn’t uncommon sadly and seeing the abuse victim walking toward to our orphanage is heartbreaking but brave as well. What weird about him is that he’s wearing a large black hat with a long black coat. Perhaps to cover the bruises and the scars he received from his spouse. But that one thing stood out from his outfit was a tight red shirt that would grasp on his muscular chest. Ignoring my appearance despite me waving at him to be polite but I didn’t care. He continue to walk toward the direction of the orphanage before looking at the window in which located Eliza office. It made my heart skip a beat just for a moment but there wasn’t I couldn’t do since I’m off work.

Walking away from the scene as I pray deeply that this doesn’t become that I think would lead to. I hope that Eliza doesn’t do something stupid that would cost her marriage. Then again, our Lord works in mysterious ways than beyond our imagination. I simply shrug and ignore the tangles of knot that bewling with one gut to another.

Theodosia Sr

There’s nothing like summer in the city.

Someone under stress meets someone looking sexy

There’s trouble in the air, you can smell it

And Eliza is by herself....

I’ll let her tell it

Eliza POV

I was left alone in this semi-huge orphanage just by myself working on each of the children files. Just the ones that I’m assign to but that wasn’t enough. By that, I mean the only ones here are the servants on night shift. They look after the kids making they’re sleeping peacefully. Or looking after the ones that were deeply sicks and so they manage their medication from here and there. Sighing to myself out of despair as I thought about my darling Alexander and my friendly Lafayette. They decided to go Upstate in order to visit my father since the children dearly misses him. Along with the midsummer is when they’re going to visit Laurens in South Carolina since it been so long since they last met. Mulligan is going to meet on the middle part of the journey since it would be nice to create a surprise visit for John. It’s nice to know that they all have each others but Angelica and I are separated from miles apart. Not to mention...I lost Peggy from the war after she was shot..from a signal gunshot wound. Sacrificing her life for an innocent child that had nothing to do with it. Except being a daughter of a sl....I can’t bring myself to say it. But yes, that event change me and Angelica a lot especially toward my father who clearly cherish her since she is one of his beloved daughters.

Leaving behind her husband and beautiful son behind but we still visit them but enough of the depress thing. I harshly rubbed my eyes as I been here at my office for a week. Brushing my fingers into my semi greasy hair and thought I should go home as well. Packing my things up as I thought about Alexander just holding in his arms. As we share the bed we slept in together. Or having Lafayette just escorting me around the city while trying to make me laugh. His corny jokes somehow manage to make me laugh from here and there. Just would’ve been nice to have one of them here by my side. Until I heard a knock from downstairs.

Eliza

I haven’t slept in a week

I was weak, I awake

When I’m alone in my room, sometimes I stare at the wall

Longing for Lafayette, Missing my Alexander

I heard a knock on the door, I knew it wasn't my husband That’s when Mister James Reynolds walked into my life He said:

Walking downstairs before opening the door to see a tall man with a large black hat and long black coat. Quite an odd outfit but I brush it off. I notice the black eye on his face which aches my heart. Knowing that this black eye must’ve come from his abusive spouse. I offer him some tea as we discuss in the living room before introducing himself to be Mr. James Reynolds. Which he announce his reasonings of why coming to the orphanage so late at night.

James Reynolds

I know you are a woman of honor

I’m so sorry to bother you at home

But I don’t know where to go

And I came here all alone...

Eliza:

He said...

James Reynolds

My wife been doing me wrong

Beating me...

Cheating me...

Mistreating me...

Suddenly, she up and gone

And, I don’t have the means to go on

I felt extremely upset to know about this poor going through an abusive marriage. Not to mention that he has a young daughter only about five years old. Wondering how could I help this man and his daughter as well. Giving me the facts that she comes and goes from three days to weeks, lead to months from on end. Decided to give him some extra crash that I’ve stock away in her desk drawer. Pulling out approximately about thirty bucks which is quite a lot back then. Thirty bucks could’ve equivalent to like a hundreds. Then again it’s the 1700s, so it wasn’t an issue trying to store a few extra cash. Giving, Mr. Reynolds the money to see that he’s very grateful that anyone would loan him such a large amount of money. Wiping the tears of joy away before leaning his arm to hold onto. Well, I didn’t see a problem for a woman to escort a find young man home.

Eliza:

So I offered him a loan, I offered to walk him home, he said

James Reynolds:

You’re too kind mam

Eliza

I gave him thirty bucks that I have stock away

He lived a block away, he said:

James Reynolds:

This one’s mine, mam

Surprisingly the the orphanage isn’t that too far off from where Reynolds live at. Then again, he live only a block away so it was only a short ten minutes. I would stand outside just letting the kind man to enter inside his house safe and sound. Hopefully, his wife is either asleep or isn’t home at the moment which brought a tight knot in my stomach.Then, i could go home and take a long hot bath and probably take the day off tomorrow. Since I haven’t slept nor bathe in a week. So, I probably smell very sticky which isn’t very ladylike of me. Turning away as I started to walk in the direction of where my home was. About to take my leave I felt James hand grabbing my own with a light blush on his face. Veryly confuse, as I didn’t prepare myself of what was about to happen next.

Eliza:

Then I said, “well, I should head back home,” He turned red, He led me to his bed Place me between his legs and said:

James Reynolds:

Stay?

Eliza:

H...Hey...

James Reynolds:

Hey...

Not even knowing what just till the last second is when I’m between Reynolds legs. With his arms around my waist as I lay on top of his bare. Apparently, I must’ve believe that he unbutton his red shirt during the time I went blank. Feeling my entire body heating up and my face turning into cherry red. Wasn’t sure how I magically escape from the grasp of his arms but that wasn’t the case. As a married woman and Reynolds being a married man shouldn’t doing something so sinful. Not to mention, I have Alexander and can’t let myself be the one to break his heart. Reaching toward the door but before getting the grasp on the knob. Reynolds held me from behind just my heart accelerating and my body hitting once again.

Feeling his lips just leaving butterflies kissing across my neck to the my bare shoulders. Barely knowledge that this man has strip my dress off my body. Leaving me in my closet and others underclothing just leaving me to shiver. Turning me around as I face this man in the eyes but adirmating his bare chest. Lightly breathing heavily but soon I mentally slap myself. Telling myself that I have a husband and children nevertheless. This devilish man has this sinfully smirk as he place his chest just feeling his heart beating.

Eliza: That’s when I began to pray:

Lord, show me how to

Say no to this

I don’t know how to

Say no to this

But my god, he looks so helpless

And his body’s saying “hell yes”

James Reynolds:

Whoa...

Eliza:

Lord, show me how to

Eliza/ Ensemble (Aka the fandom): Say no to this

Trying to put my dress back on and get the heck out there but Reynolds has other plans. Holding me closer to him as our lips were just meter aparts just barely brushing each others. The grids in my mind were grinding wildly just telling me “Get the hell out of there”. But I couldn’t feel my body, didn’t have the courage to pull away. That wasn’t the case...I didn’t want to push myself away from this find man. Turning my face away for a moment. Until, I felt him lifting my chin up just meeting my gaze to his before leaning. His lips against my own just made everything I have thought just few out the window. Before he lead me to the once again.

Eliza: I don’t know how to Eliza/ The fandom Say no to this Eliza: In my mind, I’m tryin’ to go The Fandom: Go! Go! Go!

Eliza: Then his mouth is on mine, and I don’t say…

Throughout the entire time I spent with this stranger of man just letting him pleasure. Just forgetting Alexander, Lafayette, Angelica, the kids. Basically just everyone I’ve ever knew as he and I done it in his bed. At his house, where his wife could’ve walk in on us but I didn’t care. I was alone and longing for companion. But my mind is screaming me with rage literally scolding for doing a cruel act. Letting myself get involved in adultery that I’ll soon regretted later on.

The Fandom:

No! No! Say no to this!

Third POV

Unaware by his wife adultery with another married man, Alexander Hamilton a proud father and helpless husband. Smiling happily while looking at the pendant that his late younger sister- in law, Peggy gave to him. It was originally a birthday gift but the widely woman decided to give this little gremlin as a wedding. Chucking by the memories of the late Peggy but blush while smiling a little. It was a picture of him and Eliza on their wedding day which brought warm memories to him. That day brought heartbreaks to both Lafayette and Laurens. As the French general has fallen deeply in love with Elizabeth Schuyler but given her up for his brother. While John is in love with his best friend but was already marriage and have a daughter of his own. Still, they wanted to see this Caribbean immigrant keeping a beautiful smile while basketing his love for Eliza.

The Hamilsquad has finally reunited after being seperated from the war for far too long. Which has been nearly a decade or more since the four men last saw each others. Apparently, Burr is suppose to meet up with the others at Lauren house but wasn’t able to at the last minute. As his daughter has gotten ill which is terrible for a child to be sick during the summer. Anyway, nearly getting side tracked as the four males were playing around with the children. Dancing with them, playing with them, and etc. As the children run around Alexander pull his pendant. Staring at the picture at his beautiful as he felt helpless once again after all these years during their marriage.

Alexander / The Fandom:

Helpless!!

(Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey)

Looking into your eyes

And the sky’s the limit

(Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey)

I’m helpless

(Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey)

Lafayette saw his brother smile weakly while spinning around like the lovesick puppy that Hamilton is. Walking away from the immigrant as the French male heart tighten a bit knowing fully well that Eliza will never be his. He has come to terms with it but still heartbroken after all these years. Now, married with another woman in France with children of their own. Yet, Lafayette still loves Eliza and that would never change. Even that meant marrying someone else. As one brother is smiling happily with hearts flying around him as the other brother was staring out the window. A single tear rolled down his caramel skin before brushing it away in order not to let others know.

Alexander/Lafayette

Will she ever be satisfied?

(Down for the count,

And I’m

Drowning’ in them)

She will never be satisfied

Back at New York is where both men were unaware that Eliza is sleeping with another married man. But also growing mutual feelings for him as well. As Eliza woken up from his bed in shock and disgusted with herself for letting this happen. Trying to break it off and made sure this was a one time only moment. Well ain’t that fantasy that Eliza suddenly ask for too much. As the guilt and regrets will arrive years later and she won’t even how the affair being leak out. Though she didn’t care and immediately left the house luckily, no one was around to started ridiculous gossip. Heading straight home to take a bath and sleep hopefully this is the final counter she’ll have with Reynolds. Or so she thought.

Eliza: I wish I could say that was the last time I said that last time. It became a pastime A month into this endeavor I received a letter From a Mrs. Maria Reynolds, even better, it said: Maria: Dear Madam, I hope this letter finds you in good health And in a prosperous enough position to put wealth In the pockets of people like me: down on their luck You see, that was my husband who you decided to Eliza: Shhhh—

A month past by and her affair with Reynolds continue and escalated to him spending multiple night at her house. As they slept on the same bed that she with her darling Alexander. No matter how many time she wanted to call this affair off. Reynolds always seduce her back into his arms by that charming and charismatic attitude of his. Those methods always make her legs jelly and wobbling. It lead them to exchanging tiny little love letters from here and there. Until one day, at her office Theodosia brought her letter which was sent from Mrs. Maria Reynolds. Feeling her blood run before locking the door. Reading the telegrams which is promptly by none other than Reynolds wife. Claiming that she knows about the affair and herself as well. A large lump began to form in his throat as she continue reading the paper. Feeling that dark presented behind Eliza back just feeling Maria mocking her for sleeping with her own husband.

Yet, that not even the worst part.

Maria: Uh-oh! You made the wrong sucker a cuckold So time to pay the piper for the dress you stripped And hey, you can keep seeing’ that piece of shit If the price is right: if not I’m telling your man

Straight up blackmailing the young wife that if she doesn’t pay in the correct. This other wife would spill the details to her Alexander. In pure anger, she races out of her office but not without leaving confuse looks on her coworkers face’s. Nearly running toward Reynolds house as she proudly let herself to slam the door shut harshly. Racing toward upstairs as I saw James right before myself as I proceeded to slap him hard across the face. Shock but also hurt by this reaction as Eliza shove the letter in front of the man’s face.

Eliza: I hid the letter and I raced to his place Screamed

“How could you?!”

in his face He said: James No, Mam!!

Eliza:

Half dressed, apologetic. A mess, he looked

Pathetic, he cried:

James:

Please don’t go, mam!

Not caring if this man was even half naked or half dress in front of her. This affair is officially over but Reynolds grabbed Eliza’s hand. Not wanting to lose of what they have during the entire period of summer. Pulling herself away from this man with a look of anger spreading on her expression. Whimpering on the inside as Reynolds never saw this side of Eliza before. She was so kind and thoughtful toward him. Never forgetting her generosity to donated a large sum of money just for his daughter Susan. Holding Eliza in his arms once again but this married woman firmly pushes herself out of his reach. Tears were streaming down his face before on his knees. Betting this kind hearted woman to not leave him alone with his wife. Despite not knowing either he was serious or was all of this an act.

Eliza:

So was your whole story a setup?

James:

I don’t know about any letter!

Eliza:

Stop crying

God damnit, get up!

James:

I didn’t know any better

Eliza:

I am ruined...

Frantically pulling her hair while her own tears flooded her face. Realizing that consequences of what this affair leading to. This could ruin an entire innocent happy marriage and another marriage leading to a divorce in court. Both of them panicking as Maria has full control of them especially Eliza. Since she did indeed fallen trip into their spider webs of lies. The married man tries to persuade to stay with in his arms. Work before and show work again. Doesn’t need any other woman but her at the time being. Even it may cost him his life. Holding her into his arms once again while wiping her tears away with a soft touch.

Eliza / James:

Please don’t leave me with her, I’m helpless

(I am helpless—how could I do this?)

Just give her what he wants and you can have me

Eliza:

I don’t want you

James:

What?

Eliza:

I don’t want you

James/Eliza

Whatever you want (I don’t...)

If you pay,

You can

Stay!!!!

Eliza wanted to pull away but didn’t have the strength nor the energy to do so. Letting Reynolds cherish her one last time. Clinging onto him before letting the small kisses into full on make out. Which them on the bed once again. Just like how the first night when they first met. Eliza feeling regretful but yet a bit satisfied about this affair. Not sure why...she didn’t even know her self. They just want the pleasurable moment for one last time.

Eliza

Lord, show me how to

Say no to this

I don’t know how to

Say no to this

Cause the situation is helpless

And his body screaming “hell yes”

Lord, show me how to

Say no to this

Eliza/James

How can I say not to this?!

Eliza:

There is nowhere I can go?!

When his body on mine I do not say

Sharing a kisses from here and there from the lips, neck, and other sort etc. James notice a matching pendant around Eliza neck. Open by itself to see the man that Eliza is currently married to in made him freeze for a moment. Just staring at the picture on the day on this woman married her husband. Shaking lightly before shutting it quickly just wanting to get this over this. That picture suddenly began mocking him. Feeling this affair might put a tired on Eliza marriage with Alexander. Which he praise that doesn't happen. Which it's rare to have this emotions that he never had before.

Still both Reynolds and Eliza mind were screaming at them.Telling these two adults that “NO! This isn’t right” basic stuff. That both of them knew but decided to ignore it.

Eliza/James/The Fandom

Yes (Yes!)

Say no to this!

No!

Yes (Yes!)

Say no to this!

No!

Yes (Yes!)

Say no to this!

No!

Yes (Yes!)

Say no to this!

After this finally orderal, Eliza slowly and shamefully getting dressed as Reynolds lay in bed. Not looking at each others seem to be the best choice at the moment. Eliza wiped a few tears feeling so dirty and disgusted with herself. Her actions. Hopefully that she can put this in the past. And forget that it ever happen in the first place. Pulling out two envelope from the pocket of her dress. Both fill with crash.

Eliza:

Say no to this...

I don’t

Eliza/James:

Say no to this

Eliza:

There is nowhere I can go

The fandom:

Go, Go, Go

Right before her stood Maria Reynolds at the doorway with a little girl by her side. Apparently, this is their daughter that James mention before. Wearing a beautiful red dress that seem to share the same color and color of her husband shirt. Having a smug look on her face full aware of what just happened since this bedroom. But she could care less since its the money she need for a lawyer during a divorce court. But sweet little Eliza doesn’t need to know about that.

Maria:

So?

The other married woman sigh in defeat as she place the two full envelope on Maria hands. About thousands dollars in total. Looking down as the child stare at in confusion and curious of what was happening. But her innocent must be protected and so for that. The deed has been done and all of this affair is just hush hush. Racing out of the house in a rush with tears threatening to leave her eyes. Returning back to the orphanage in an hour as Theodosia, Martha, Dolley didn’t notice her return. Until hearing you close the door to her office and locking it. Her back was press against the wood before sliding down as she held her knee tightly. Tears spring down to the fabric of her dress before quietly whisper to herself.

“Nobody needs to know”

Nearly given up writing this fanfic but I made myself to finish. But yeah.. hope y'all enjoy

#hamilton #hamiltrash #Hamilton fanfic #Say no to this #elizabeth hamilton #Alexander Hamilton #John Laurens #Lafayette #Hercules Mulligan #romance #affair #drama #guilty #regrets #james reynolds #Maria Reynolds #Role-Reverse

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makingausernameisthehardest-blog · 7 years

Text

Thoughts

I never really do this. Writing down my thoughts and how I’m feeling. I’ve only done it once before and it was helpful but i never went back to do it again. I’ve always been the type to just bottle everything up and try not to annoy people with my problems when they have there own to worry about. I rather just deal with it myself. But what im writing isnt just about me its also about my ex, my current girlfriend, as well as her ex.

I was in a relationship with my ex for almost 5 years. Within those years I stupidly loved her and let her get away with much more than i should’ve. I should’ve realized from the start that it was going to be a lot of shit but i was blinded by just wanting to be in a relationship and being happy. We started talking on facebook and I knew she had a boyfriend but I still spoke to her. We only spoke for 9 days before getting into a relationship. She told me she had broken up with her boyfriend which i later found out wasn’t even true. Not even two months into our relationship she broke up with me the first time. Her reasoning was because she needed to figure some things out when it came to our relationship and how she was feeling, meanwhile she said we could still act like a couple and shit but just without the label. Like the idiot i was i went along with it. The real reasoning was that she just wanted the chance to choose between me and our friend Josue whom she already had a past with. After about a month of that bullshit we officially got back together. Not long after that I was hanging out with my friend Allyson who Tati had gotten jealous of just because she was a female friend, We were coming back from ice skating in queens and Josue texted me saying that he and Tati had kissed. I was obviously infuriated and contacted her to ask her what was going on and i got both sides of the story. I wasn’t surprised to find out that both gave different stories. I don’t remember his but I do remember that her reasoning was that he took her back and said he wouldnt give it back unless she kissed him so she did. I had responded asking what if he had asked her for more, what should she have done then. She obviously said she wouldnt have done it but at the end of the day idk if i believed her or not. The point was that she pretty much cheated on me. My friend was very pissed off telling me i shouldnt forgive her and a lot of other things about her that were actually true but i was too blinded by my stupidity. I let her get away with a lot. She would always only be hanging out with guy friends and allowing them to flirt with her because of how much she loved the attention she was getting. I remember i had a list of guys that i gave her once that all started flirting with her because she tried to make it seem like i was overreacting when i would get upset. Meanwhile throughout the relationship i had about 2 close female friends. One ws Allyson and the other was my current girlfriend Aliana. Neither of them ever tried anything with me, not even flirt with me but she still didnt like them and tried to make it seem like i was wrong for not ending my friendship with them. Another thing was that I would ALWAYS pick her up from school. I would ditch my friends to be with her. Instead of going to my boxing training or playing baseball with my best friends i would go out of my way to pick her up but she would rarely do the same for me even when she had the chances to. I didnt care about that but i did care that whenver she would go hangout with her guy friend she would be travel all over the place to go meet up with them but never did the same for me. Why did i stay with this girl for so long??? cause im stupid. Another guy that she allowed to go overboard was this guy named Jeremy. I had already graduated highschool so this had to be at least a year or two into the relationship. By now she had broken up with me at least twice for the same reason as before. Being confused about her feelings. Meanwhile i know the reason reason was so she could go explore with other guys. But back to Jeremy. She met him at my old high schools dance, i had expressed that i didnt really want her to go but I’m not controlling so i let her go anyway because i decided to trust her. Ended up meeting the guy who would flirt with her A LOT and she would just let it go. At the dance she mentioned how he would put his hands on sides/waist and how she felt some type of way but never actually mentioned telling him to stop or anything. He was very rude and disrespectful as well but since he would also flirt with her she would let it go for the attention. I would tell her how i dont like the guy and how i would like it if she stopped talking to him but she would talk to him behind my back anyway. On to the next guy. Im writing this thinking god damn ho stupid was i to just let this keep happening instead of just breaking up with her. There was this guy named David, boy did i hate him. lol. He was her ex who was part of the group that was going to spread her nudes and also harassed her. For some reason she wanted to get back in contact with him. At first she was seeking out an apology for what had happen all those years ago and she got it. She also told me she wasnt seeking out a friendship with him but just talk about what happened and shit. But come to find out they were actually talking on a daily basis and he was flirting with her pretty heavily. She would have never told me but i found the text one day while i was on her phone. At not point during the conversation did she tell him to stop or say it was inappropriate but she just let it keep going. He also had a girlfriend and when i told her that she should tell her she would always come up with some excuse as to why she shouldn’t. She never actually ended the friendship but she would tell me that they dont talk anymore until i would look at her phone and see that they had been texting. Not only had they been texting but she had attempted to hangout with him on more than one occasion but it never happened. For all i know they did hangout and for all i know something probably happened because i know hes the type to try something and shes not the type to stop him. ANOTHER ONE. This is a short one though. There was a guy named Robert (had to choose a guy with the same damn name as me too lol) she met him in college i dont remember which school. But they were friends and i was cool with it because it seemed like he wasnt trying anything with her. Come to find out “he kissed her” i put quotations cause its just more like they kissed. She didn’t tell me until two weeks later. For some reason I wasn’t even mad, i wasn’t hurt or anything. I didnt care. I guess after everything that happened up to that point I wasn’t surprised anymore and just didnt care. Last Two! Since I’m bringing up another breakup I realized I forgot to mention that before this she broke up with me i think one or two more times. I forget but again it was for the same reason. I know I broke up with her once for that reason too but it was more because she was a crappy girlfriend but i still got back with her like an idiot anyway. But back to this guy. His name was Matthew. She told me they were just friends but I thought there was more to it and i was right. Not long after they became friends she broke up with me. Only a few days later I saw on her Instagram pictures of him at her house and of them always hanging out and i couldnt believe that it just happened a few days after we broke up so i went snooping. I wasnt proud of myself but i knew her facebook password and decided to go through her messages. i knew she would never tell me the truth but i had to find out for myself. Found out they had been flirting i think a week before she had even broke up with me so i pretty much got cheated on for the 3rd time to my knowledge. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were other instances where she cheated on me. During that time we were broken up for about 1 month i believe. I spoke to only 1 person about it. The other was my best friend Aliana who had been there for me more than anyone. She helped a lot because i was having a hard time dealing with it all. She was the only one i really felt comfortable talking about my feelings with. I was so used bottling everything up but she was able to get me to open up. I felt myself catching feelings for her but i was still too focused on my ex that i never dared to try anything. I wish i wouldve stood single and eventually gone after her at that time. My dumbass still got back with her even after that. She realized i was a better guy then him and came running back and i fell for it again. I dont know why. Not long after I broke up with her because i couldnt trust her and i was tired of all the bullshit. This time we were broken up for about 2 months. I spoke to my friend jess about it mostly. I didn’t tell aliana at first because i felt stupid for going through the same shit all over again. My ex actually went to her instead for some reason asking for advice. She went to MY best friend for advice. Ali only told her that she needs to give me space and time. During those 2 months I was sad about the breakup but i also knew it was better off, but for some reason I ended up going back to her again. The last guy. His name was Jaylen. They became friends at her school TCI. He had a girlfriend who he didnt really claim. He referred to her as the girl he’s fucking. He would say he doesnt want to be with her but he doesnt want to hurt her. Eventually she told her that he liked her and not long after that she wanted break up with me. She did the same thing as always, she would distance herself and then say we need to talk. I saw it coming. Before she told me the fake reasoning i asked her if it was because of him and she promised that it wasnt. The next day she came clean and told me it was because she developed feelings for him. I was mostly upset about the fact that she lied. She told me they werent going to peruse anything but not long after there were a bunch of pictures of him on her IG. For a while i didnt tell anyone the complete story because again I felt incredibly stupid. I spoke to jess and ali again. Ali had been close to breaking up her boyfriend at the time as well. She was there for me just as i was for her. We would hangout a lot and talk about it all and sometimes just have fun. At one point my ex tried to pop back into my life again apologizing and saying she won't do it again. The same shit again and I almost fell for it again but this time I didn't. I thought about it and made sure I remembered why we were broken up in the first place. How shitty of a girlfriend she was and how I couldn't trust her. She wanted to meet up to talk about this and I agreed to. Her reasoning different than mine. When we met up she tried to kiss me even though I made it clear in the text that it wasn't going to happen. We went to a park in her area and spoke for a while. I told her how I couldn't trust her anymore because she broke it. After everything that happened I finally woke the fuck up and I told her I don't know what the future holds but right now there isn't going to an us. That's how it finally ended. Now I didn't write this because all of this still bothers me or I still care about her or anything because I don't. I wrote this because I never actually gave myself the chance to completely talk about all the bullshit she did in the relationship not that I haven't had someone to talk to it about with. I just kept it all inside. I'm sure I missed a few things but I decided to focus on the big ones. At first this was also going to be about my girlfriend too but I'm going to make a separate post since this one is already super long lol.

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