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bucketsofmonsters · 6 months

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The Witch's Apprentice - Part 7

cw: demon summoning, prolonged isolation, size difference, agoraphobia, depression, more tags will be added as the story continues

male demon x afab reader

Word count: 3k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

You woke up alone and felt anything but. The distant buzz of people outside, on the streets, bustling about the hallways of the inn, felt suffocating. It all seemed so loud now, so deafening.

Lucien appeared in front of you, giving you a quiet “Good morning,” and suddenly, it wasn’t loud at all, his voice cutting through the hum that had seemed deafening moments before.

“How’re you doing?” he asked as you blinked up at him from your seat on the bed.

Was his voice quieter than usual? Or maybe that was just how people sounded with the constant buzz of a city in the background.

“I don’t have any stuff,” you said. It was a trivial complaint, you knew that, but you wanted something to hold onto. Anything that was yours, that wasn’t so foreign.

He laughed and it felt cruel. You knew it shouldn't, that he was trying to help, but it felt cruel that he was allowed to do that right now, while you felt like you’d been broken into pieces. “We’ll get you new stuff, don’t worry about that.”

Like it was that simple. Like you could just get new stuff and move on.

It wasn’t his fault. You knew that. He was the reason you were still here. But some part of you; some unsnuffable, horrible little instinct; wanted to blame him. Without him, you would still be home. Without him, nothing would have changed.

“I just…” you began, with no idea how to articulate any of this to him.

And then, with the most distressed expression you’d ever seen from him, he interrupted you and said, “I have to go. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

And that was it. He faded away and you were alone again.

You hated the deafening roar of the city he left you with.

At least when he was here, you could pretend things would be okay.

You didn’t have anything left. Anything but him. At least when he was in front of you, you had something to cling to.

Hours passed before he reappeared in front of you. When he did, you didn’t manage to get a word out before a string of curse words escaped him and he faded out of existence again.

You barely even moved as you waited for him. What would you do anyway? You had nothing to do but wait, so that’s what you did, patiently and quietly, on the bed he’d found for you.

It was a shorter wait this time, under an hour if you had to guess.

“Where do you keep going?” you asked as he solidified in the space in front of you. It was slower without you summoning him, like he had to put real effort into coming to you.

A pained expression flashed across his face, disappearing as quickly as it arrived. “I’m being summoned.”

“So often? You’re a popular demon,” you said it with the cadence of a joke, but neither of you found it particularly funny.

“Summonings go through phases,” he said with a sigh. “Names get discovered or obtain reputations. I was too nice for a while, people got comfortable, so I get called upon a lot these days. I’m rectifying my mistake. Hopefully, my name will start to come with a bad taste in people’s mouths in a few decades.”

“Oh. Good luck with that, I guess.”

“Thank you. It’s been going pretty well. Only one major lapse in my judgment,” he said with a pointed look in your direction.

You couldn’t help but smile a little at that. “I promise to tell everyone you were real mean to me. Very scary, the scariest demon you could imagine.”

A huff of laughter escaped him. “Good. My reputation may survive this little affair yet. Now, what have you been up to?”

Your eyes flicked around as you searched for an answer that wouldn’t sound horribly tragic.

He didn’t wait for you to find one before butting in at your obvious distress. “Come on, you don’t need to wait around for me. You haven’t had the chance to do anything in years, go talk to someone or something.”

You shrugged. “I’m fine where I am.”

He looked you up and down, evaluating you as you shrunk away from him. “What is it? Did something happen?”

“Nothing happened. I’m just fine in here.”

His eyes narrowed and you couldn’t understand why he didn’t believe you. Surely it wasn’t that difficult to understand. Surely anyone would be hesitant to go back out into the world after being stowed safely away for so long.

“Something happened,” he said, no longer a question and entirely incorrect.

“It really didn’t. Actually, as long as we’re talking about it, I was thinking. I probably shouldn’t be here at all. I mean, I’m not doing much here. I could always stay in hell with you. It would be easier that way.”

“No,” he snapped, and you flinched back at his harsh tone. “No,” he said again, softer this time, a quiet correction. “I will not let you just lock yourself away again. I will not be your new Eden.”

“I wasn’t asking you to be,” you lied, unconvincing even to yourself.

“You’ll be fine. Just go, talk to someone, get some fresh air. It’ll get easier.”

He didn’t understand, couldn’t understand, just how impossible it was.

“Yeah, I will. Don’t worry about me.”

He gave you an unmistakably worried look as he said, “Alright, I won’t. I just think that… shit.”

“Is it happening again?”

“Just go do something. I’ll be back when I can.”

As you laid down in bed, with no intention to go out and doing anything, you wondered just how often he got summoned. You’d never really considered it before. You knew it happened of course, but you’d never put real thought into it past how frustrating of an experience it must be for him.

What would happen if two people tried to summon him at once? Would it hurt? Rip him in two? You doubted that any of the witches summoning him had considered it either.

And what other things was he being forced to do out there? Surely Eden wasn’t the worst witch he’d ever encountered. What other horrible things weighed on him every day, that he couldn’t help but feel a little responsible for?

As time ticked on, another thought wormed its way into your head. Maybe he wasn’t being summoned at all. He’d never had to leave this often before he’d helped you make your daring escape and now he could barely stay with you for more than a few minutes.

It made sense. He’d done what he wanted to do. He’d freed you from the trap he was forced to lay. His part in this should be over, his guilt assuaged, if it weren’t for the way you clung to him like a lifeline.

The thoughts swam around your head until he appeared once more, looking irritated, eyes distant and cold.

The spark of insecurity in you couldn’t be snuffed out any longer, not even in the face of his bad mood.

“Are you actually being summoned?” you blurted out. “Because if you don’t want to be here, you don’t have to be.” You knew it wasn’t true, that you needed him, but still couldn’t stomach the idea of him forcing himself to be here. “I thought we were friends but maybe that was naive. Is it just guilt? Is that what all of this was?”

He sighed, his hands rising to rub at his temples. “It's not... I don't know. Maybe at the beginning. I wanted you to be bad. I needed you to be. And you weren’t and it was the worst thing you’ve ever done to me.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, your voice quiet and broken and completely genuine.

“You really are, aren’t you? Sorry for what? Sorry for not being awful?”

“Well, not…” You weren’t entirely sure what you were apologizing for. You just knew that you were sorry. “I just meant, sorry for making things worse for you. That’s all.”

“You didn’t make anything worse, not in the long run. I like you. I’m glad you got out of there. It’s just that right at the start I needed you to be a bad person so I didn't feel so fucking guilty. I hate doing this, you know. Being so cruel. Especially to people like you. But if I don’t things get so much worse.”

“You’re not cruel,” you said, knowing it was true and yet somehow, deep down, knowing it was the last thing he wanted to hear.

“I didn’t used to be. That’s the rule. My new rule. No more being nice to the inexperienced ones. Witches like yours don’t give you opportunities to lash out so if you want to establish a reputation, you have to be cruel when you can be. Every single time they give you the chance. When the little witches summoning their first monster give you an opening, you strike. That way the next one thinks twice when they see your name in some summoning book.”

“That sounds awful.”

“Feels awful too. But nothing feels worse than being forced to do even crueler things so you do what you can. Lesser of two evils.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” you said, knowing exactly what crueler things were flashing through his distant eyes.

“Maybe not. Still wouldn’t have happened without me. You weren’t the first, you know. You were the first victim she kept, sure, but not the first one who fell prey to that damn forest. You’ve probably seen what’s left of some of them, some bones and remains of them in various forms. She got plenty of use out of them, I’ll give her that much”

Your heart skipped a beat as he spoke and your mind pulled back to the various bones and bits of gore in jars that you’d tended to and organized for her over the years. You’d never thought about them before, not really. Even trying to remember them, it was like a haze began to form in your mind, a buzzing pain starting to settle in over the distant images.

You started to fall to the side before the feeling of a warm hand on your arm brought you out of your head. “Don’t hurt yourself,” he said, giving your arm a gentle squeeze before pulling back far too soon. “I’m sure she’s tainted most of your memories of anything she didn’t want you to see. It’s probably best to not try and look back.”

Now you had one more thing to mourn, even the memories of your home being ripped away from you. How cruel that you weren’t even allowed to keep those in this strange new place.

“Right. I’ll do my best.”

He nodded. “I know you will. You’ll be fine. You’ve been doing really well.”

It was a kind lie. You appreciated him for trying to tell it.

And then you were alone again.

You did try leaving this place. You swore you did, despite knowing in the back of your head that you couldn’t do it.

You peeked out the window on the tips of your toes down at unfamiliar faces on the street and stood at the door, pretending you knew how to steel yourself for the task ahead.

At the very least it was something to do with yourself when Lucien was away, gone to a summoning or back to hell or just living his life, doing things he refused to speak about with you, always keeping you at arms length.

But that was unfair. He was there when he could be during the day, when some other witch didn’t whisk him away against his will to do whatever they pleased.

He never spoke to you about it, about what they asked him to do. Every time you tried he got very quiet and then began to push back, asking you when you’d go outside.

Nothing quieted you faster than that.

At night he was always gone.

At night you were small again.

You hated sleeping, avoided it whenever you could. You were terrified of the dreams that might come. You’d honestly welcome a nightmare at this point. Your biggest fear was you would dream of home. Your biggest fear was waking up again after.

Instead, you just stared at the wall every night, waiting for it to be morning so you could wait for Lucien again.

A thud pulled you from your trance and your head jerked up towards the window just in time to see a bird falling to the ground below after having slammed into the glass it’s little mind couldn't comprehend.

You were moving before you even had time to think. It was for the best, you weren’t sure you could’ve managed it if you’d had to think it through, to force yourself to get up and go check on the poor creature.

You held your breath as you walked out the door of your room, freezing for a moment. You weren’t sure what you expected to happen.

A woman walked by you, turning to the side and slipping by where you were blocking the hallway with a quiet, “Excuse me, love.”

There was a pressure building in your head, behind your eyes, closing your throat. This foreign air felt toxic, a bile rising inside of you.

A gentle hand settled on your back and you practically jumped out of your skin to get away from it.

You bolted at the contact, frightened, flighty. Darted not back inside but through the halls until you found a way outside, running around the perimeter of the building until you found it.

It was a small, unassuming brown bird, crumpled on the ground, an injured wing tucked under itself.

You picked it up as gently as you could, cradling it in the palms of your hands.

Every instinct you had wanted you to run back and hide. Instead, you walked slowly, carefully, trying not to jostle the poor creature too much.

The woman was no longer in the hall, having left at some point after you’d fled from her. Some part of you felt bad, hoped you hadn’t hurt her feelings or left her worried.

Most of your attention was on the bird.

You had no idea how to help it, would have to ask Lucien tomorrow. You were terrified to touch the bent wing, to make it worse than it already was. Even attempting to set it would hurt the poor creature and you couldn’t stomach the thought of it, of inflicting any more pain.

You did what you could, forming a little bed to rest it in for the night, a little nest out of towels and pillows.

It was almost funny in a way. A makeshift nest inside of your makeshift nest. You were no better off than this frightened, wounded little creature.

At least maybe, someday, it could get out of here.

#terato #demon x reader #demon x human #monster bf #monster boyfriend #monster x human #monster x reader #demon #the witch's apprentice #This story has negative thematic subtlety lol #This is a little shorter than I like my chapters to be but sitting on it for weeks wasn’t doing me any good #I’ll get the next one out much faster #Pinky promise

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emry-stars-art · 11 months

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Andrew could hear Aaron take a tiny breath.

“...Neil?”

Change of plans I guess, this is the chapter cover that is dramatic and dangerous (just very sketchy)

Read chapter 21 of my fic here 👀

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cascadiums · 2 years

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Bram Stoker really made a point of the Count hoarding old money in his bedroom like a dragon, the spoils of war and empire guarded by the upper class, just for his heroes to bribe their way across Europe funded by their inheritance from a revolving door of dying parents, huh

#dracula daily #hes ancient and evil!! hes a rich bitch in a castle lording over the peasants! and theyre New Money from the rising middle class #who acquired their wealth through the hard work of *checks notes* dead mother dead father dead mentor and i guess ambiguous texas methods #lets start the book again but i take a shot for every thematic inconsistency and pass out before Jonathan even meets the count #im being mean but also. dracula is frustrating because any time you think 'oh thats compelling' it gets contradicted two chapters later #yes im aware that inheriting is not equal to waging war but the class lines being delineated are very wonky

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delicourse · 2 years

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ohh to befriend a wolf...

#asirpa #retar #golden kamuy #gk #deliart #missed drawing asirpa sooo much #also #how many of my gk artworks at this point is just me drawing an animal #but it is not my fault noda included so many animals not only directly but also allegorically or thematically or whatever #what im trying to say is that many characters. got fursonas.#i am not to blame...#btw the anime!! actually looks better #its a solid mid now!!! which honestly i didnt expect. it is enough for me #interested in seeing which arcs they pick....#somehow surprised they did the pet monster arc!!! i was soo sad when i read the manga. and realized that #itd probably be too late for those chapters to be included since they happened so far back #ice skating kid........ king #also guaranteed usami next week.!! nice nice nice

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shimamitsu · 7 months

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i've been rotating so many mika and shima thoughts in my head since chapter 55 came out so i might as well share them with the skiptuals. please don't take anything i say as a serious analysis or something i'm just loafing here. ok. i think the transition from shima to mika in the last two chapters wasn't unintentional at all. they (and their own arcs) resemble each other in ways i hadn't thought about until i read the latest chapter. let's start with how both of them have kinda "built" a public persona to navigate social situations. because of their respective past experiences, shima thinks that he's worthless if he isn't playing the role of the "perfect popular friendly guy", and mika's changed everything about herself so she could be accepted by other people. they're both insecure kids who have tried to find value in themselves by acting according to what others expected of them or what made others "like them more". but at the end of the day this is just putting a band aid on a major wound because the problem obviously lies elsewhere.

this "persona", "facade", "mask", "role" or whatever you wanna call it is harming them rather than saving them. it protects them from getting hurt, but by doing so they're keeping people at arm's length and stopping themselves from genuinely connecting with others.

that's why letting people get close to them and see through this front they put up is difficult for them, they've gotten used to wearing these masks after all. take mika's fear of rejection or how she was hesitant to stay with the girls in ch15 as an example, or shima being worried about how the way he's perceived by other people can make them dislike him. i think it's interesting how both nao-chan and mitsumi's reassuring words conveyed the same meaning on both occasions. "everyone here is friends with someone who threw up on the first day of school" means that people that love you won't stop doing it because you act a little weird or because you make mistakes (and vice versa!). "it's cute to be embarrased" is another way of saying that putting yourself out there, being vulnerable or trying new things won't be the death of you, what's more, it's endearing. both scenes are trying to communicate the same thing: don't worry, being yourself won't make people hate you (and if they do, who cares?).

or, alternatively:

and on that topic, i think chapter 46 and chapter 55 play the same role in shima and mika's character arcs, respectively. both of these chapters are turning points for them. even if the connotation is different, both mitsumi and nao-chan deliver lines that should be exhibited forever in the skip to loafer hall of fame. mitsumi tells shima, who's always thought that he had to be like this or that to be valuable, that no matter who he is she'd still like him. nao-chan tells mika, who's always wondered if anyone would ever love her as she is, that she will definitely find someone who does. both these statements are direct, sincere and come from people who care about them. they're not empty words, they're not saying this just to cheer them up. these are facts. these words refute their deepest fears.

even if mika and shima's character arcs are going in different directions (and each of them has their own circumstances), both of them are in the process of internalizing these ideas. i'd say mika's getting closer because she's always been the type of person who's in tune with her feelings, unlike shima. it's clear after the last chapter, like how she opened up to nao-chan and how she was ok with mukai listening. but shima's getting there too, this arc was definitely a decisive moment for him. that's why i'm only pointing out a few similarities i've noticed, they're both doing their own thing. and as i said before, they're not alone in their journeys, the people around them are helping them too. you know how nao-chan said in the last chapter that someday mika "will definitely find someone who will love her, warts and all?" i've said in one of my previous posts that even if nao-chan was referring to a romantic partner, i think that what she said can also apply to any kind of relatioship. that's why i believe it's important to mention that the first character who sees beyond mika's facade is... mitsumi! and well, that's because mitsumi is mitsumi. even though mika wasn't very nice to her at first, mitsumi still goes to her and asks for her help. mitsumi's not telling her "i'm overlooking your bad points because there might be something good underneath it all" or something, we know she's not that kind of person. she's looking directly at mika and telling her "because of the way you treated me i know you can help me". she welcomes mika into her life and into the group, warts and all.

and that's not where it ends. kindness is like a domino effect. once you're shown kindness, you can't help extending kindness to someone else. we can see it in the way mika lends her beret to mitsumi when she feels bad about her bangs. nao-chan comforting mika wouldn't be possible if people like mitsumi or goro weren't kind to her first. yuzu talking to mitsumi that one time at karaoke gave her a little confidence to talk to makoto and befriend her. almost 40 chapters later, makoto goes to yuzu after she finds out what happened with her classmates. shima might not even realize, but him helping mitsumi on their first day of school was literally what started it all. and of course, being kind to yourself will come with time too. kindness is a never-ending cycle. kindness moves us into growing, and that's what sukirofa is all about, really.

peace and loaf on planet earth

#where was i going with this? i don't know #seriously no idea i just wanted to write down my thoughts #basically what i wanna say is this arc was perfect. as usual #even though takamatsu surprised us with a nao/mika/mukai focused chapter it still made so much sense for it to wrap up this arc #especially after the shima focused chapters #i wanted to explain how ch54 and ch55 go hand in hand and how that transition was perfect thematically #like. seeing both mika and shima take a step forward in the same arc wasn't a coincidence imo #but i ended up thinking about how mikamitsu friendship is everything to me #i couldn't help mentioning ch46 ok. can u blame me. u can't #anyway live laugh loaf #skipping

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raayllum · 6 months

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9.2k wordcount for chapter 3, featuring more set up, some heavy handed chess and apple symbolism, and burgeoning plot progression

The Associate Crow Lord brought the mail in breakfast, which was an overall normal occurrence. Most of the time, none of them received any mail except for Ezran, which Opeli would swiftly put in a stack off to the side to be addressed post-meal, but occasionally there had been a couple of letters for Callum, largely in communication with officials from Xadia about certain texts or magical items he could get his hands on for studying purposes. A few times there had been proposals from other noble families that had snuck through, but those had been returned unopened even before Rayla had come back, and he certainly wasn’t going to open them now. There was the usual assortment for Ezran, maybe a few more than usual, and then the Associate Crow Lord nervously held one out to Rayla. “For you, uh, my Ladyship.” It was a title that had been bestowed only after the wrongful arrest, and Callum knew the only reason Rayla didn’t scoff was because she was too surprised. “For me?” “Is it from Evenere?” Callum asked. The seal looked Lux Aurean gold, not Evenerean green. “No.” Faint, familiar light emitted briefly from the parchment as she opened it. “It’s from New Aurea.” “Already?” Ezran inquired. “We just wrote them yesterday—” Rayla shook her head, eyes quickly scanning the letter. She went paler with every word and Callum did his best not to stare; he’d never seen her like this. Fearful, yes, but not frightened . “No. They’re... they’re asking me about a Moonshadow folktale. It’s nothing.” It was not nothing, but Callum wouldn’t push it. Not in front of everyone. “If you say so,” Ezran said a tad uncertainly, sighing when he turned his attention to the stack of scrolls in front of him. He looked to Opeli. “Nothing from any of the elven representatives of the dragons yet, either?”

#tdp #the dragon prince #fic: teach me how to name the bigger light #broyals #rayllum #we're going to pretend how many scenes in this chapter end with a character hoping someting is #for thematic contrast of callum's unsteady confidence amid everyone else's more measured but dramatic doubts

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mae-i-scribble · 2 years

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throwing up blood thinking about how in the 0th round all yjh wants to do is figure out how/why he exists, having seemingly just appeared one day as a fully fuctional adult. it’s a big part of why he chooses to regress, he’s willing to suffer for thousands of lifetimes not only to meet kdj but to learn about himself. and 1864 lives later, after this beginning is nothing more than a forgotten memory, after he’s torn apart the world for the sake of one man, he’s found out how he exists, but not why. In reading kdj’s story, in realizing that he would likely never go back to earth, he decides why he exists: to make just a single person happy. Only now that he has the answers he’s sought for so long, he’s left with the question that he cannot answer for himself: how does he continue to live on. In a world without a reader, without regressions, how is he meant to live on? He’s never known anything else, doesn’t know what it means to live as a person not trapped in the past. But despite that, despite everything, he still puts his all into delivering kdj’s story to everyone, and in making sure that he returns home.

#orv #orv spoilers #omniscient reader #omniscient reader spoilers #crying screaming throwing up #yoo joonghyuk #im literally gonna throw myself into the nearest river yjh's last pov chapters make me so fucking EMO #although i think it's only fitting that we never see what his ending is #not only for the whole thematics of it #characters existing beyond the readers comprehension #but also cause i personally see it as freedom #yjh's ending is the freedom to live as his own person #and whatever that brings for him #bc while yjh has always had agency he has never lived outside the star stream system #him reaching his ending after coming to the conclusions on his own is perfect

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delawaredetroit · 2 months

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It's Izuku's turn to say the line. This one starts with All Might, but then each of the Hosu Trio gets a turn saying the line that giving help not asked for is what makes a true hero. Shouto thinks it when he meets his mother in the hospital for the first time, Izuku says it here when he saves Iida, and Iida completes the set when he grabs Izuku's hand during chapter 321.

#bnha reread #bnha 52 #bnha #midoriya izuku #iida tenya #todoroki shouto #all might #there should have been more hosu trio content it thematically makes more sense as a focus than the trio we got #iida got left hanging with this incomplete theme for almost 300 chapters

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faeriefully · 11 months

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girlies on here will post things about ‘i should be allowed to read all day and expand my mind’ and get stupid amounts of notes from people who think fairy tale porn is the epitome of literature

#for the love of literature go read something that actually engages your critical thinking #I’m so tired of all these booktok people #who can’t stomach something that doesn’t have less narrative and thematic complexity than some children’s cartoons #with smut every other chapter #g.txt #booktok #i hate booktok #death to booktok

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kosmiccarma · 7 months

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I'll add myself to the pool of ppl who (might delusionally) believe gojo ain't dead dead

#karma.talks #jjk manga spoilers #jjk 236 leaks #listen. I was cackling in the work parking lot this morning looking at the server leaks #1. narratively his death would serve nothing for the plot. and the whole fight wouldn't have moved anything forward #2. head ain't cut off. eyes aren't destroyed. shoko and angel literally still on the same continent. body could be healed easy peasy #3. gojo was saying bye to his dead friends instead of them welcoming him? so he could be goin' off to limbo #or have his second enlightenment hit within the next couple chapters to off sukuna once and for all. and get to kenny #and 4. uhh kenny??? he still exists gege. can't have a fight with him paired with anyone else tbh just wouldn't thematically fit #best of both worlds scenario: kids kill sukuna with gojo's resurrection #gojo goes on to fight kenny. kenny dies by the six eyes and/or infinity once and for all and gojo sacrifices the six eyes and/or infinity #so kenny can no longer body swap and will end the tale of his terror. geto comes back into consciousness for a couple more moments #OR his body is at peace once and for all and THEN gojo dies from wounds / overexertion of his cursed energy #OR gojo lives but remains a normal human w/o the six eyes or limitless. and this is bc he cheated death twice and that's the toll #gege make some of this happen or you've given a good side character a nonsensical death (within the scope of the story and character arc)#give it 10 chapters to see where this goes. if he's dead dead that's a fumble of an ending to their fight and a death scene #btw if anyone wants to talk abt this more just DM me I ain't fighting the tag system over more spoilers

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laundrybiscuits · 1 year

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(purify our misfit ways tag | AO3)

Sure enough, around midnight, Steve Harrington tumbles through Eddie’s open window.

“Shit,” he says, stumbling to his feet. “Why doesn’t that thing open any wider, christ. Think I ripped my sleeve.”

Eddie’s just glad he had the forethought to move his acoustic out of the way earlier in the evening.

“Hey,” he says, setting down his book. “Keep it down, will you? Wayne’s usually a pretty heavy sleeper, but these ain’t his normal hours and he needs his rest.”

“Yeah, sure,” says Steve. “It’s nice. That you care about him like that.”

Eddie shrugs, uncomfortable. What’s he supposed to say? He’s mostly a shit excuse for a ward, so he tries to make up the difference where he can.

In the lull, Steve seems to realize that he’s standing awkwardly in the middle of Eddie’s bedroom and that this is maybe the second time they’ve ever been alone together. It’s extremely obvious that he has not thought this through past the window thing.

Eddie takes the opportunity to look Steve over, keeping his face carefully neutral. Steve’s hair’s kind of a wreck and yep, his sleeve is ripped; there are shadows under his eyes that look even more pronounced in the lamplight than they did earlier in the day.

Yeah, Steve probably needs this just as much as Robin.

“This is kinda weird, huh,” says Steve, pushing his hair back from his face. “I’m—just gonna go.”

“You can go if you want.” Eddie picks up his book again. Careful, careful. He adds, nonchalant as he can: “Or you can stick around and hang out for a while. If you want.”

“Is that—” Steve starts. “Do you—”

Eddie risks glancing up. Steve’s got a complicated expression on that Eddie can’t quite read, but he’s not making any move to leave. He’s favoring his right side, where he got two bruised ribs that should’ve healed by now, and Eddie would bet good money that he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. Eddie sighs.

“Look, man, you could clearly use the sleep. It’s fine, I do this with Robin all the time. Just sit down for a minute and I’ll read to you or something.”

“Oh,” says Steve. “Okay.” He sounds lost, like nobody’s ever offered to read him a bedtime story before; as he stumbles out of his shoes, Eddie flips back to the beginning of the book.

“On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays it was Court Hand and Summulae Logicales, while the rest of the week it was the Organon, Repetition and Astrology,” he starts, making his voice as clear and smooth as possible. “The governess was always getting muddled with her astrolabe, and when she got specially muddled she would take it out of the Wart by rapping his knuckles. She did not rap Kay’s knuckles…”

It doesn’t take long for Steve to pass out. He starts out sitting awkwardly upright on the edge of the bed, but by the time the Wart meets a mysterious knight in the woods, Steve is curled around a pillow, breathing slow and even.

Eddie sets the book on his nightstand and flicks off the bedside lamp. He’s not sure whether it’s too much to get Steve settled under the blanket, but the insulation in the trailer is total shit; even on a July night, Steve might get cold.

Nothing like what you’re used to, huh? he thinks wryly. But Steve chose to leave his two-story house with fancy bedsheets in order to squeeze through the window of Eddie’s trailer and sleep in his bed, so the least Eddie can do is try to be hospitable.

Steve doesn’t even stir when Eddie cautiously tugs the edge of the blanket out from under him, so Eddie takes a self-indulgent moment to arrange the blanket carefully around Steve’s shoulders and smooth back his hair.

It’s so stupid to let himself have this, but he’s never had a knack for the smart choice. All his report cards say lacks discipline and struggles to control impulsive behavior, and they’re not wrong. He’s gotten a little better about it over the years, but sometimes it’s like his body’s reaching out for something before his brain can catch up to tap the brakes. It’s gotten him in trouble his whole damn life.

There’s something really wrong with you, Munson, he thinks at himself. There’s been something wrong with him for a long time, maybe forever. He’s learned to live around it, to lean hard into his fuckups, because it feels like the only way to keep stumbling through is to build up a kind of momentum. He’s okay, he can keep being okay, just as long as he doesn’t have to exist in the present; just as long as he can let his past propel him into the future.

People keep telling him he’s young, he’s got his life ahead of him. Wayne says it a lot. Teachers say it, usually in the context of telling him not to screw up. He knows, on some level, that it’s probably true—unless he goes out early in a fiery implosion, which is definitely a possibility—but it doesn’t feel that way.

Eddie doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when he wakes up, his bed’s empty. He’s not too surprised about that, though it makes him ache a little bit in a childish way.

He rolls out of bed and stretches. He can smell coffee, which is making his stomach sit up and beg, so he wanders out to the kitchen.

“Hey,” says Steve. He’s wearing an Iron Maiden shirt that Eddie’s pretty sure was on the bedroom floor. “Wayne already left, so I—do you want some coffee?”

Eddie’s not remotely awake enough to handle this. He just stands there, gaping dumbly, as Steve pushes a mug into his hands.

“Hey, so I was thinking,” Steve says. “We should—hang out. If you want.”

“Okay,” says Eddie slowly. “Sure. I don’t have any plans today. Let me call Robin, see what she’s—”

“No—I meant, just the two of us. Like, uh.” Steve pauses, running a hand through his hair. He steps a little closer. “Like a date.”

#fic: purify our misfit ways #still needs an overhaul for thematic consistency but I can't look at it anymore so here we go #this is probably the end of the chapter so it'll be up on AO3 whenever I finish editing #the next and probably final chapter will be Steve's POV finally #just trying my best to write him as a total disaster!!#anyway happy valentines day to those who celebrate (not me lol)#(I am enjoying the deluge of cute fan content today tho)

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