Life As We Know It V.
Pairing: Steve Harrington/Reader
Chapter Summary: You have a nightmare and Jonathan tells you a secret. You decide to take the plunge and ask out Ben, but life seems to get in the way.
A/N: Major character death!! This chapter jumpstarts everything that will roll downhill from now.
@babyspiderling, @themapoftinyperfectthings, @anarchtayreads, @mochminnie, @orbitluke
You’re vaguely aware you’re in that state where you’re drifting from lucidness and sleep. The tiredness behind your eyes was your main concern all day, though it should’ve been the sleeping babe in your arms. You shifted in the bed, holding onto Abigail and switching over onto your right side to lie on. She stirs slightly and sighs, the motion not waking her at all. You don’t know how long it took for her to go down but Nancy should’ve been back from the store by now.
The red blinking letters from the alarm clock next to the bed read midnight. Your brows furrow, how long had you been laying in bed?
You try to move your leg out from its position but find that it won’t budge. Confused, you try again only to get nowhere. It’s like something heavy weighed on your legs like they were bound by some invisible rope.
This can’t be sleep paralysis. You don’t even remember falling asleep. From where your head was propped, you could make out the faint sound of the faucet in the bathroom squeaking. You heard a burst of water accompany it as it roared to life.
Now the unsettling feeling began to settle in. You hadn’t heard Nancy’s car pull into the driveway nor did you think Jonathan was back from New York. Thinking of flipping Mother Bear mode on was impossible with your invisible restraints. You struggled to detach your legs but no amount of strength seemed good enough.
Your panic didn’t set in until you saw the water seep into the room. It filled the room at an oddly slow pace then suddenly, as if reality had glitched, the water changed height to meet you a few inches from the top of the bed.
You clutch Abby closer to you, silently praying that you’d wake up or by some grace of something, move faster than the water to have some semblance of a chance to escape.
When no divine intervention presented itself and you felt the water touch your skin, you closed your eyes.
You’re floating in water. The sheer coldness of it pierces your senses. You’re not even aware you inhale sharply when the temperature of it drops.
Your chest rises and falls in a steady pattern. You have no worries, or at least, that’s how it feels. There’s an odd peace in you that doesn’t sit right with you. It’s not the fact that you don’t know how to swim and are suddenly floating or the fact that the water is up to your cheek that alarms you.
Abby has disappeared from your arms and now swims freely ahead of you with an out-of-place school of fishes following her. She pauses halfway, noticing you’re not following. She holds out a chubby hand for you to take. You hesitate, looking at her eyes. They’re the same deep blue but they seem to glow underwater.
When she deems that you’ve taken too long to choose, she swims forward again. You snap out of it and follow after her, somehow swimming with ease when you know you’d flounder in real life.
A female figure up ahead startles you momentarily and stops you. The figure is obscured by their hair but a feeling deep down tells you not to be afraid, that they’re familiar. The woman outstretches her arms and waits for Abby to wade into them. Her arms close around her tiny frame and the woman flashes you a smile that sends bubbles out of the corner of her lips. You finally get a look at her face.
Nancy.
You feel something on the left side of your body. Your eyes shoot to the figure next to you. There’s a ringing in your ear as you see Jonathan wade by. Your lips part slightly to let out a small gasp as he follows Nancy.
Your brows furrow as you try to reach for one of them, only being able to grab onto Jonathan’s wrist and pull. But he doesn’t budge. You tug again, forcefully this time. He still doesn’t move. Instead, he seems to be getting pulled away, the situation feeling like when you stake your feet in the sand and think the ocean is pulling you in.
Suddenly feeling a terrible lurch in the pit of your stomach, you try to grasp Jonathan to keep him close but you’re startled by his eyes when he opens them. You’ve never seen him this frightened, not since Hawkins.
“Jon…..” You burbled, eyes flickering from his own to his pale blue hands.
He doesn’t say anything and if he did try, he couldn’t finish as he’s pulled down by whatever invisible force is with you both. You squeeze his hand, this time following him. You move at a weird pace, fast enough to see water rush past you but slow enough to see him somewhat clearly.
You start to feel pressure in your chest, you’re running out of oxygen. You need to let go, but Jonathan has you in a vice grip. You tug your hand back and attempt to pry him off. You open your mouth in a poor attempt to scream but instead you feel the water invade your lungs. The pressure is strong and it burns like hell. Your kicking is futile. The bottom of the abyss is dark and colder than you’ve ever felt, and it’s getting closer and closer.
You shut your eyes, wanting so desperately to cry or resurface. The last thing you see is Jonathan and Nancy waiting for you at the bottom.
You lurch forward in your bed, breathing heavily and clawing at your body. The only moisture you feel on your skin is sweat. Your hair is stuck to your face whether, by your grim dreams or some other bodily fluid, it’s just as messy as you feel. Your phone reads half-past five in the morning.
Your breathing returns somewhat back to normal once you lie back down and stare at the ceiling and count the useless glow in the dark stars from a year ago.
Your phone vibrates to life next to you, Jonathan’s face and name lighting up your barely lit bedroom. You pick up immediately to his surprise.
“Hey! Didn’t think you’d be awake this early. Sorry if I woke you up.”
There’s some interference in the back with the sound of cars honking, people talking and instrumental music. You guessed he was at the airport or somewhere near that.
You rub at your tired eyes. “No, you didn’t wake me. I kind of woke up from something.”
“Neighbors again?” He titters to himself.
“More like nightmares,” You straighten out.
You’d had nightmares before, well night terrors, it was something that Jonathan had been working on helping you with since you two had sleepovers as teens.
“You doing okay?” There’s a hint of worry in his voice that replaces the excitement from before. Sometimes you wish he wouldn’t worry so much.
You’re not sure how to answer. You felt every emotion all at once sometimes. It was tiring. You knew you couldn’t use the same old excuse of being tired, he’d see right through that. You pick at the peeling nail polish on your fingernails and sigh.
“I’m fine Jon, really. You shouldn’t worry too much about me.” You know it doesn’t sound convincing but you don’t care.
“It’s my job to,” he chuckles somewhat uneasily, “I mean what I said, you can always talk to me.”
“I know, I know. But I don’t really think I want to get into the specifics of it right now.”
The line goes quiet as he most likely decides he doesn’t believe your reassurance but understands that it’s not the right moment to talk about it. It’s such a quiet moment that it makes you think he’s hung up.
“Jon?”
“Mhmm?”
“Penny for your thoughts.”
“I did something.”
You sit up in bed. “What is something? Something good? Something bad?”
“Depends on what you find good and bad.”
“Alright, I’ll bite. The suspense is killing me.”
“I gave your manuscript to Hopper.”
“You what?!” You exclaim.
Hopper had made somewhat of a name for himself after he’d published a series of sci-fi mystery novels based on the events of Hawkins. Publishers fought tooth and nail for the rights, and even for him, offering several deals that he’d rejected in favor of starting his own company. One, which of course, was located in New York. Just a perfect coincidence that Jonathan was there. The reception was honestly polarizing, but it seemed to find its audience a year after it’d come out. People had taken such a liking to the tales from the past so much that it was now being optioned for either a series or a film. You didn’t know him as well as the others did, in fact, you felt a tad bit intimidated by him. The relationship between the two of you seemed cold, mostly stemming from Hopper busting your dad drinking out late several times after your mom…... not the time. Anyway, you hadn’t seen or talked to him since you all moved away.
“He loved it! Well, first he asked where the rest of it was but then he said he loved what he read so far. He wants to meet with you.”
You slump against your headboard, biting at your nails anxiously. “I don’t know Jon.”
You can hear him set something down. “Hear me out. He knows it’s a sensitive subject, but he really wants to meet you. It’s just one meeting. If you don’t like what he has to say, we’ll come back home and I’ll drop it. Forever. If you do, then well, you know.”
“I don’t know if I can do this.” You answer truthfully. Everything now was a step into the unknown. A new territory that you were too afraid to navigate. However, the only thing worse than being a failure for you was never really trying.
Jonathan must’ve read your mind like always. “You can do this. You’ve dealt with worse. Remember Valentine’s Day? You pulled like sixty pages out of thin air and all I did was take the pictures. You saved my ass, so naturally, I owe you one. You’ll be okay. Nancy, Abby, and I will be there if you want, right outside that door, sans Steve.”
This makes you erupt into laughter that you immediately muffle as you remember what time it is.
You take a moment to gather your thoughts. Having this support group made you feel a little better, it was a small comfort that you never knew you needed. Jonathan always had enough pull to make you crumble. You never could say no.
“Alright, Byers. You got a deal.”
You can practically hear the smile in his voice as he speaks. “Perfect! This is going on the list.”
“Oh come on! Not the list! Anything but the list.” You teased.
“Hey, don’t bash the list! It just needs some updating. I’m only halfway through it.”
Jonathan had created a list sometime during junior year, writing down things he’d wanted to do after he graduated and left Hawkins. The only ones you vaguely remembered were him wanting to travel, do something risky, and go to college. He’d done the first two, branching out to New York and other corners of the world thanks to his job as a photographer. The second had to do with you both getting very drunk on New Year’s Eve shortly and stumbling into a tattoo parlor and picking the dumbest yet nicest friendship tattoos.
He had gotten it on his ankle and you had the matching one on your wrist. To this day, Joyce doesn’t know and you suspect she never will.
You chuckle to yourself, remembering it fondly. You missed being young and stupid, not that you still weren’t, but you just feel like it was a time that you’d taken for granted,
“Hey, Jonathan?” You find yourself whispering now, seeing the dim glow of yellow coming from outside your window.
“Yeah?” His voice matches yours, only softer.
“Thank you. I mean it.”
Through the other side of the phone, he twists his fingers in circles and intertwines them with the strap from his bag until the pressure from it being tight makes his fingers go numb.
“For what?”
You shrug to yourself. “Everything, I guess. You’re a great friend.”
A small part of you that felt some way for him seemed to start to detach. The one that always had hoped you two would be at each other’s side in different circumstances. He was good, yes, but maybe it was best to shove the former aside. This would be the new beginning. After all, you caught a doctor’s attention.
Jonathan perks up at the change in attitude in you, grinning to himself. He hears the booming voice on the loudspeaker announcing the departure of his plane.
“I’ll see you later, okay? We can go over everything at the bar or something. Get some sleep.”
You roll your eyes playfully. “I’ll try. See you.”
You hang up and stare at the contact photo until your eyes begin to burn from not blinking. Past you and Jonathan stare into your soul until the screen goes black.
You lie back down and try to get some sleep.
“So he’s a doctor?” Robin winks at you, pouring more whiskey into shot glasses for the party behind you.
”For babies.” You correct.
”But still a doctor.” She reiterates.
“And Steve’s brother.”
“Huh, I see no problem there. You get the one that actually finished college.”
You snort. “Yeah, or I get the one who’s the biggest player.”
“Mmm, I dunno. From what you’ve told me so far, it seems like he’s totally into you. And there’s the whole being waaaay more educated aspect.”
“C’mon, Harrington men only want one thing, and we both know what it is.” You take another swig of the brown bottle in front of you, gagging at the taste.
Robin stops what she’s doing and hits you with that look, the one that you’d come to nickname the “Lie Detector”. She takes the bottle away and replaces it with water.
“What?”
“First of all, it’s literally four in the afternoon, stick with this. Second of all, this guy is literally everything you’re looking for. Sweet, charming, organized, has a Ph.D. mind you, and is literally smitten with you.”
“Please, this guy’s a total package. There has to be something wrong with him.”
“See? There it is. Stop it!” She commands, now setting a bundle of cleaning rags next to you.
“Stop what?”
“You always do this.”
“Do what? I’m not doing anything.”
“You meet a guy that is the total opposite of you-know-who and you overthink things. Not every guy is hiding something. I’m not interested in that department but I’m not a total idiot.”
Your mouth drops open. “Do you think that - no! No way! I am completely done with him. I would rather walk on hot coals than even consider him again.
She smirks smugly. “Yeah? Then call Ben. Right now.”
You stutter as you try to find some smart ass retort within you but come up empty. Robin knows she’s got you in a bind and snickers to herself at seeing you squirm. Knowing that she’s in the right, you groan loudly and obnoxiously and dig through your bag to find the paper with his number in it.
You make an “A-Ha!” sound when you finally find it and bring it up to the neon lights of the bar. Robin leans over the counter to get a look but moves your elbow by accident and knocks the water onto your lap. You jump as the cold liquid spreads throughout your pants, the slip of paper falling onto your lap at the same time and smudging.
You and Robin yell in unison. You try to dry the paper by blowing with your mouth and her grabbing a handful of napkins to pat it dry. The pants could wait, this was life or death.
After what seemed like forever frantically drying the paper, you both got close to try and make out the numbers. Besides having the usual doctor’s writing, the numbers seemed partially fine except for the last two digits.
“That’s a two, right?” You try to guess at the penultimate digit,
“That’s clearly a seven.” She squints, being sure of herself.
“Robin, who writes their sevens with the arch like that?? It’s clearly a two!”
”A two doesn’t have the little thing going across! It’s a seven!”
You slump your upper half onto the wooden top of the bar, “Oh god this is a sign. I’m going to be alone. Forever.”
Robin scoffs. “It’s not that bad, just try the numbers and hope for the best. I’ll be back, I have customers.”
She pats you good luck on your mission and takes the tray of drinks over to the group behind you.
You sigh and shift in your seat, bringing one leg to lie under you as you settle in for the next who knows how many minutes.
The first number you try belongs to a very angry old lady who curses you out for trying to scam her even after you reassure her the situation is very clearly not what she thought it was.
The second number belonged to a guy who ran a dispensary from what you could definitely tell over the phone was someone’s basement and got the hell out of there before they could even try to take down your information.
The third number belonged to a really nice woman that you spent maybe thirty minutes talking to and venting to and exchanging recipes for a French pastry you definitely cannot pronounce for fear of being called out.
Robin returns sometime around the fifth try of the phone call, having gone and done circles around the bar twice. “Any luck?”
You shake your head and lightly bang your head against the wooden top. “You’re right. You’re right! I was so close, and now I’ve messed it up.”
“Well, maybe Nancy can hook you up or something. Just pretend like you’re having a baby emergency or something.”
“Maybe. I feel like I can practically see her jumping for joy and doing cartwheels when I tell her I was going to go through with it.”
Robin agrees with you in silence as she polishes the glasses from behind the counter. “Hey, speaking of Nancy, wasn’t Jonathan supposed to come and meet you?”
“Oh yeah, what time is it?” You look up at the clock, the personification of a beer bottle pointing to the five.
It was five already and Jonathan still hadn’t arrived. You had to wonder if maybe he’d forgotten or just needed a nap after being jet lagged.
“I’ll try his cell. He should’ve been back by now, maybe there’s traffic coming back from the airport or something.”
Robin shrugs, returning to her duties. You tap on Jonathan’s name and wait for the ring tones but are met with his voicemail.
Hey, this is Jonathan, you know what to do!
You hummed to yourself. You decide to try again and are met with the same voicemail message. You give up and wait for the beep to leave a message.
Hey, this is Jonathan, you know what to do! Beep!
“Hey! Um, I’m here with Robin. I thought we were meeting up but if you just feel like taking a nap or something that’s okay. Call me when you wake up, yeah? I need to talk to you and Nancy about something.”
Your message is interrupted by another call coming in. “Hold on, I’m getting another call.”
It’s not a number you recognize, but something tells you to take it.
“Hello?”
“Hello, are you the primary contact for Jonathan and Nancy Byers?”
Your brows furrow. “Yes I am, why? Is this the airport security or something?”
“No ma’am this is Officer Callahan, I’m calling on behalf of Mr. and Mrs. Byers.”
“Okay. I’m sorry I don’t understand what’s going on right now, is Jonathan in trouble? Is Nancy okay?”
Officer Callahan takes a deep breath, “I think you’re going to want to sit down, ma’am.”
“Sit down?” You laugh nervously now, unsure of how to place this officer’s tone. It was starting to freak you out. “I’m sorry, can I just talk to Jonathan? I’m sure whatever he’s been stopped for is a misunderstanding. Or if you could just pass me to Nancy - “
“Ma’am I’m going to need you to come down to the station. The other officers can explain more to you if you’d like.”
“Explain what? Please can I just speak to either one of them?” Your voice gets higher and shaky with fear which alerts Robin. She mouths to you if you’re okay but you don’t know how to respond.
“I’m afraid that won’t be possible,” Callahan says, albeit a bit grimly.
Robin sticks her ear close to your phone to listen in.
“Why?” You inquire, your stomach turning itself into knots.
“Mr. and Mrs. Byers have been involved in a car collision as they were returning from the airport. The highway patrolmen found your name and number on a contact card among the rest of the belongings. We need you to come to the station to collect anything of value and to get more information from you.”
Your heart drops. Robin slings back, face screwed up in shock as you hang up and try to stand. When you wobble and start to feel lightheaded, Robin takes you by the arms and tries to stand you upright.
“Hey, hey, look at me. Breathe alright? Breathe.” She tries to be the calm in the dam that’s just burst in you.
“He - oh god, oh Jonathan. Nancy. No. No.” Your lips tremble as you bring your hands up to your face. They shake with abandon and claw at your eyelids as you feel the waterworks coming.
Robin signals another bartender and asks them if they can take over while she takes you to the station. The bartender glances at you and Robin, you steal a look and see them have a worried look painted across their face. They agree without argument immediately.
Robin helps you out of the bar as if you were another drunk patron, taking you to the car and helping you into the passenger side. She wastes no time in hitting the gas and taking off in the direction of the station.
“Someone has to call Steve.” She says, but her words sound like they’re underwater. Everything sounds like it’s underwater.
This is your dream all over again.
Robin steals glances at you every once in a while to make sure you’re okay. You feel yourself go catatonic during the ride, staring at the darkening streets ahead of you and the passing red, yellow and green lights. Your eyes unfocus and go blurry, your body being jolted about from the turns Robin makes.
You don’t when you arrive. You don’t know how you get up the steps of the station, you don’t even realize there are people staring at you as you enter and sit at the front as Robin goes up to the main desk and asks for Officer Callahan.
Callahan steps out with a pad and pen, kneeling in front of you as Robin sits next to you and rubs your back.
“I’m sure this is very hard for you, but - we need the names and numbers for the nearest next of kin. Would you be able to supply those?”
Your mouth opens to answer but your words crack and you choke slightly.
“Jonathan’s mom, she - she’s bedridden, she had surgery a while ago. Will, his brother, he’s with her. They’re in California. Nancy’s mom died a while back, her dad’s in a home back in Indiana.”
He jots it down with swift pace, stopping when you decide to ask how it happened. He scratches the back of his head.
“The car was hit head-on from the driver’s side, Mrs. Byers was driving at the time. We believe she died instantly. Mr. Byers was still somewhat conscious when the paramedics arrived but died on the way to the hospital.”
You stare down at your feet and the mismatched tile of the floor. The images project in your head and you can’t help yourself but think of how fucked life was. They were so young, Nancy had gotten a promotion at work earlier this month, Jonathan had taken some great photos for a campaign at some magazine or something, Abby was - wait, Abby!
“Hold on, they have a baby. A little girl. Was she - was she in the car?” Robin chimes in.
You’re not sure you want to hear the answer if it’s what you fear. But you know that if anything happened to that baby, you would lose your mind even more than you will now.
“No, thankfully she was in the care of a minor at the time of the incident. The officers have placed her in CPS for the time being.”
“CPS?” You ask.
“Child Protective Services. They specialize in cases like this.”
“Cases like this?” Robin asks.
The officer has a hard time saying it. “Orphaned children.”
It’s then that you collapse. The dam breaks and everything comes pouring out. Robin takes you into her arms and lets you cry on her shoulder.
“Is there anyone else we can call?” Callahan asks.
“No, I think we’re fine.”
With that, Callahan takes his leave and nods solemnly.
You don’t remember stopping crying. You blackout for a moment, feeling your tears dry up and stick to your skin. Your leg bounces up and down without pause. Robin asks if you want coffee but you shake your head. She says she’ll be back in a minute and leaves you alone for a moment.
The screech of a tire breaks you out of your trance momentarily, your head snapping to whatever made that noise. A motorcycle appears outside of the station’s parking lot, with the driver getting off and removing their helmet. As they get closer and closer to the entrance, you can make out who it is. You stand instinctively, meeting Steve as he rushes through the doors. He makes a beeline for the front desk but you weakly call out to him.
He turns, a somber look on his face that mixes with a “Please tell me this isn’t real” look.
Your lips quivering again and avoidance of his eyes set him straight. Without thinking, you walk to him and wrap your arms around his torso, letting it out again. Steve hesitates for a moment before settling his arms around your frame slowly.
Robin returns with the coffees and greets Steve. She hands one to him as she lets you know that Jonathan and Nancy’s belongings are ready for you to pick up.
They’re given to you in a bag just thrown in. It sparks a flicker of anger in you. Here were your friends, people one second, dust the next. And all they were reduced to were things in a plastic bag that jostled around.
Robin drives you back to their house, Steve following behind at a pace you understood meant he wanted to be alone for a second.
“Are you going to be okay?” Robin asks you as you get out of the car and carry the bag with you close to your chest.
You don’t respond automatically. She gets it.
“Hey, I’m going to go home and get some stuff. If you want I’ll come back and stay with you and Steve.”
You nod appreciatively, heading to the front door as Steve arrives. He and Robin give each other looks of sorrow.
Nancy always kept a spare key in her plants, cliche as hell, but she found it helpful for when Jonathan lost a key. Steve reaches for it as he heads up the porch and unlocks the door with ease.
As you both enter the darkened house, an eerie feeling fills you both. A framed photo of Nancy and Jonathan greets you in the foyer, a memory of what once was.
This doesn’t feel like the usual home you’d come to know. It feels like a skeleton of its former self.
There was a laundry basket filled with baby clothes near the bottom of the stairs, Jonathan’s shoes crowded bottom of the coat rack on the floor, Nancy’s papers and writings were spread out on the coffee table.
Everything was waiting for them to come back.
You and Steve survey the house before glancing at each other.
You finally talk to break the ice.
“The um, woman from CPS said she’ll call me tomorrow morning. They said they wanted to go over what’s going to happen with Abby.”
Steve nods, rubbing at his eyes. “It’s been a long day, why don’t you get some sleep.” He reaches for the bag but you recoil sharply.
Get some sleep.
It felt too familiar.
He seems to get the message that you won’t let the bag go and lets you stay with it.
“You can take the guest bedroom if you want.” He offers.
You nod. “You can take their room if you want.”
“No thank you, I’m fine here on the couch.” He says it quickly.
He doesn’t need this day to haunt him any more than it already has. Sleeping in their bed would make him feel odd and morbid.
You get it.
“See you in the morning.” You farewell. “Thanks Steve.”
He almost does a double-take at this. Usually, he’d have a smug come back for something like you changing your tune towards him. But now is not the right time.
Once the door closes behind you, you flip the bag upside down to let its contents fall on the bed.
Nancy’s and Jonathan’s wallets, Jonathan’s camera, loose pieces of makeup, and clothing spill and topple one another. You grab his camera and take it in your hands softly, almost afraid that if you broke it somehow, you’d lose any real piece of Jonathan.
The lipstick you gave Nancy for her birthday had dents on the cap, no doubt broken in half within.
You dig through the pockets of each sweater, finding nothing until going through Jonathan’s coat.
A flimsy leather book.
You open and flip through it, not finding much except notes about work and home and a makeshift grocery list.
You’re about to set it down when you come across a torn page. It falls from its place and lands on your feet, a checklist facing you.
Knowing exactly what it is, you try to pull yourself together to take it and read it. It’s the list.
Graduate high school
Go to college
Do something risky
Marry Nancy
Travel the world
Buy mom a house
Make amends with dad
Visit Will
Have Hopper read book
Help (Y/N) get her second chance
You try not to think about what the half-crossed line means. It’ll only hurt you more. But you clutch the torn paper to your chest and lie down on the bed, bringing your knees up but not fully close to your chest.
You hope to wake up in the morning and find Nancy shaking you awake to try one of her new creations that she got off the internet or hear Abby fussing about a toy not being suitable for her to stuff her mouth with. Hell, you'd even settle for Steve making a pass at you like usual instead of having the look he had when you saw him at the station.
This wasn’t the step into the unknown you wanted.
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