#their relationship would have been sibling (derogatory) and it would have been SO funny

[chaifootsteps]

I know a lot of the fandom already shits on BlitzStrike but I think that Blitz x Verosika gets more shit from Stolitz fans especially when people prefer Blitzsika over Stolitz and they try to say shit like it's just because it's straight or some shit despite the fact Blitz is pan and Verosika is probably also bi or pan since it's been implied she likes women but it was also shown in the most misogynistic way with Blitz's line about her "smelling like fish" which is actually a derogatory insult towards sapphic women so shows how much Vivzie respects not only women but lesbians especially and how apparently it's homophobic to prefer a ship over the popular gay ship just because it's "straight passing" because you can't be LGBT and attracted to the opposite sex apparently but then again criticising Helluva has always been "homophobic."

I even saw a commission artist say they refused to draw "toxic" ships like Blitzrika but they were perfectly fine with drawing Stolitz since they were a major shipper but you know what's funny? Blitzrika is actually more healthy than fucking Stolitz ever was! Sure they may hate eachother and are toxic but they are exes so it's perfectly reasonable that they hate eachother and it's only because Blitz fucked Verosika over and they had a major breakup but here's one thing that will piss Stolitz fans off... BLITZ ACTUALLY LIKED VEROSIKA! and not only that... HE ACTUALLY WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH HER! Sure we may not know what their relationship was fully like but it was clear they actually had mutual feelings for eachother and Verosika liked Blitz so much she literally got his name tattooed on her! And clearly the reason she hates Blitz so much is because he used her! Sure Verosika may be a bitch but she has ever right to hate Blitz for what he did to her and there isn't any bullshitting around that even in the show! And it's clear Blitz feels bad for what he does for how he reacted when she called him a "wreckless heartbreaking freak" or how he still has guilt in his subconscious because if he didn't give a shit about Verosika. Why would he feel bad? Even if he hates her he still clearly does feels some remorse for what he did. And this is shit you can gather from the fucking subtext in comparison to the actual screentime you get with Stolitz. Blitz has been shown more times to have actually been shown to care about Verosika than fucking Stolas? What does that tell you?

Even if they have a fucked up relationship this was only after they broke up in comparison to whatever the hell Stolitz has going on! At least Blitz actually chose to be with Verosika and they clearly had consent! You know it's bad when toxic exes somehow have a better relationship than your so called main forbidden gay love story. Yet the fandom thinks an yaoi sex slave ship is somehow healthy gay representation but exes who happen to have had a messy "straight passing" relationship and now resent eachother over something the other did and are now toxic towards eachother and yet it's clearly shown they do still care about eachother on a surface face level which is something that is actually happens in real life is a homophobic straight ship?

I don't even ship it but I'd take it any day over what ever the hell Stolitz is and them getting back together would actually be much more believable than Blitz having feelings for Stolas will ever be. I honestly think it would be funny if someone pointed out that Blitz has been shown to love Verosika more than he has Stolas as while I do agree BlitzStrike is probably the best ship. Verosika is the only character that Blitz has so far been show to have actually had mutual feelings for unless Fizzarolli counts? But then again they have that weird sort of foster siblings implication going on so who cares? And even then there was still more evidence before Season 2 that Blitz had more feelings for Verosika than anyone else especially Stolas and I am not counting attraction since Blitz is almost always horny so whatever. Still Blitz feeling remorse and even showing that he at one point enjoyed spending time with Verosika is more convincing than whatever love confession they make Blitz give to Stolas.

Sorry for this awful rant.

No need for apologies, Anon, it was a good rant.

Striker, Verosika, Fizz...at this point, I would ship Wally-goddamn-Wackford with Blitz over Stolitz. Anything, anything but that.

#Anonymous #helluva boss critical #actual blog post #Blitzrika #viv stuff

[battle-of-alberta]

For a grown man, Cal gives off spoiled brat vibes. What was he like as a kid?

[the irony being that today, calvin regularly drinks whiskey because It’s the Culture tm]

so sorry to inform you guys Calvin was assigned cop at birth u_u he didn’t spend his whole childhood in the NWMP barracks though, there was a period where he was living in a tent on the side of the road waiting for the train to show up (though that said, that might have been a bit more sanitary.)

More notes follow.

- Calvin was imbued with admiration for Toronto from a young age because the majority of the men recruited for service were originally from Toronto. His attention quickly turned south, however, the more he interacted with Americans and heard about mythical places like Denver and Chicago.

- Fort Calgary was ironically built and supplied by some of the same whiskey traders they were supposed to stamp out, shh.

- Calvin was really proud his American friends tolerated him enough to hang out with him... and is still to this day, perhaps not realizing that the others considered him “mild west” rather than wild west. During this period he mostly hung out with folks from Montana and Colorado- the relationship with Texas didn’t really get off the ground until the mid 20th century.

- It’s been a few years since I read Denny’s account of Fort Calgary but I seem to remember him commenting on having to order lots and lots of tea.

- I still think this ongoing joke that Calvin doesn’t realize Lilith and his old rival Fort Whoop Up are the same person is really funny (y’know, despite Lethbridge having an identical flag, annual Whoop Up Days, Whoop Up Drive, etc that he just assumes is a historical curiosity of hers)

- Calvin’s other siblings/cousins (not depicted) include big bro Fort Macleod and Fort Saskatchewan, among others. I’m not sure what that makes Fort Walsh... a brother/cousin who was re-animated in the 40s and never quite the same? Lol.

- The “gentlemen” Calvin comments on to Caroline are caricatures of “remittance men”, that is, a man exiled to the colonies by his family and paid regular remittances to ensure they didn’t come back and do whatever it was that got them sent off in the first place.

- “No English” was a common sentiment because of above remittance men - ‘English’ I believe was kind of a derogatory term used in both Canada and the States to refer to anyone from the cities back east who were a bit too soft for frontier life, but in the territories it could definitely refer to literal expats from England. (Tangentially related, but Prince Edward even bought himself a ranch not far from Calgary in the 1920s.)

- The events Ed and Madeline are thinking of include: one of the early visits to Fort Edmonton that I’ve referenced a zillion times (the NWMP couldn’t sleep because they weren’t used to the dogs); the 1885 Northwest Resistance which caused Calgary to panic so much that a basically useless militia was formed; when natural gas wells were discovered around Medicine Hat, Calgarians threw a fit and wouldn’t rest until someone funded a successful hunt for their own.

- (afterwards in the race for the capital, edmonton newspapers would jab at calgary’s tendency to act like a pig eating everything around it, an article which the papers in medicine hat would reprint)

#aph oc #hetalia oc #hws oc #projectcanada cities #pc: calgary #pc: bowness #pc: edmonton #pc: lethbridge #pc: medicine hat #pc: red deer #hapo art #traditional art #ink #boab ask #boab historical #comic #elaine hartley #calvin mccall #lilith sheran #edward murphy #caroline cochrane #madeline hargrave #anonymous

[hardestgrove]

I've been really into your Harrington siblings AU with @officialjoekeery could you tell me a litt bit about Shannon Harrington like her personality, age, and relationship w/ Steve? Also may I please use her for my own headcanons for Steve's family I'll tag you if you'd like?

first off, yes ofc you can use Shannon in your headcanons and things! I'm honored you even want to to begin with! this blog is currently still glitched out of being like, findable or viewable outside of the dash so i'd recommend tagging my main @namorian for now if you want to be sure i'll actually see anything lol 💀

SO ON TO THE HOT SHANNON DEETS!!!!

I've finally done some math on her age since Ria's already sorted out the brothers 💀 her birthday is June 15 1968, she's a Gemini and she's about 2 years younger than Steve and in Nancy's year. She's also 5ft with a gymnastics kind of athletic build since she's the one they hurl around in cheer. Overall she's very petite, except her hair ofc. Big hair is a Harrington family trait lol.

Her personality is like, stereotypical insane teenage girl to comical levels. Characters that she's similar to are people like Cordelia Chase from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Alison DiLaurentis from Pretty Little Liars (early seasons when everyone thinks she's dead and all the flashbacks of her are Fucked Up lol), Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries, Mona-Lisa Saperstein from Parks & Rec and Megan from Drake & Josh to give like a vibe palate lol.

At her best self she's Cordelia— she's intelligent, caring, determined and brutally honest. Some of Cordelia's best and most character defining lines are "Tact is just saying not true stuff", "You think I'm never lonely because I'm so cute and popular? I can be surrounded by people and be completely alone. It's not like any of them really know me." and "I'm not a sniveling, whiny, little cry-Buffy. I'm the nastiest girl in Sunnydale history. I take crap from no one." All of those really do also apply to Shannon, they're 100% things she could and would say. When she's at her best and healthiest she's a Massive Bitch™ but she's your Massive Bitch™ and she loves and protects the people she considers hers aggressively and she doesn't lie to anyone just to make them feel better. She can and will fight anyone and she'll win.

At her worst she's like Alison or Damon, just this selfish bordering in sociopathic, needlessly mean, manipulative and just...The Worst™. Just a petty spiteful bitch who alleviates her own boredom and issues by torturing people for fun. She rarely feels bad about it and never apologizes. She's a Bitch (derogatory) and kind of a monster. Like she's not a very insecure person, she's actually very comfortable in how great she is, but she's also intimately aware that she lacks direction in life and that most people around her don't actually like her. Even at home there's an air of "ugh it's my turn to look after Shannon? GREAT :/" which naturally does not make one feel awesome.

Where Steve has internalized his issues with loneliness as "there's something wrong with me and that's why people don't want to be around me" Shannon's internalized it as "people will never understand me because I'm too much for them, I'm too different and better than them. That's why they don't stay." and it shows in how they interact with the world. She feels very comfortable being the Worst™ because well, she kinda is a small fish in a big pond and she knows she can be a monster and still have people begging to be near her. She's learned that her outbursts and bad behavior get her more rewards than her good behavior so she's just gonna keep rolling with that until it stops being true.

She craves attention and will do a lot of things to get it. She's very funny as part of gaining and maintaining attention.

When she was first conceived of and it was just her and Steve as the siblings there was a kind of unspoken knowledge that a big part of why she was even born was the "they can entertain each other" aspect, like going to the pound and getting another cat/dog to keep your existing pet company while you're at work. Steve was the golden boy and even then he wasn't given much attention and she was just kind of There. She's never held this against Steve since he's you know... not really getting a much better shake than she is but it's absolutely present in her behaviors like the attention seeking and manipulation.

With the addition of more brothers she's less of the "extra" and more "The Girl™" and much of the attention and special treatment she gets is because she's The Girl, not because she's a preferred child. It's just because it's assumed girls need different things than boys. There's a lot of assumptions made by their parents about her, her interests, her personality etc because she's The Girl™. And while she is very feminine and does like many traditionally feminine things it's just very reductive and ignores her actual strengths and her genuine struggles. Her social life is not really respected, her hurt is not really seen as valid etc etc because she's a Teen Girl. That last bit applies whether or not she's got 1 or 4 brothers but it's more blatant and intense when they've had 4 boys before her.

Shannon's relationship with Steve is probably the healthiest and most genuine in her entire life. She loves all her brothers a lot and genuinely loves to be around them and bother them but Steve's basically always been the one saddled with her so he's the one she's the closest with. It also helps they're the closest in age and go to school together. When it's just them and no other siblings they 100% did entertain and keep each other company just like it was kind of intended they would. They are unironically each other's best friend.

Steve is one of the very few people who can clap back on Shannon for her shitty behavior and have her actually then feel bad and apologize and try and do better (the others are her brother and heather). She really loves and looks up to Steve. She knows she's a very tough to swallow personality even when she's toning it down and plenty of people have decided she's not worth the struggle. Steve gets annoyed and exasperated and even angry sometimes but he still sticks around and hangs out with her. She teases him and annoys him and is just an utter menace to him but it's out of love and he understands that and bitches and moans and retaliates and gives her a big hug at the end of the day because she's an annoying little shit but she's his annoying little shit.

It's why she has SUCH a grudge against Nancy— like to the point she WOULD fight Nancy in the halls. Shannon is very aware of Steve's soft gooey center— having spent her whole life taking advantage of it— and she really can't stand how that relationship ended and what it did to Steve's self-esteem/image/worth. She really hates anyone/thing that makes Steve think he's shit. Like even SHE doesn't do that, not really. Like she'll call him stupid and then ask him to help her solve a problem. Of the two of them, Shannon is the more academically successful but she's always turning to Steve for help and advice and returns that favor when/where she can. Like we're not gonna get into the bloodbaths of Steve's senior year in the Harrington house, Shannon was ready to come over the table for their dad lol.

#answered #WOW THIS IS LONG klfdjghdfksjglds #shannon harrington #ocs #hawkins siblings multiverse #hawkins extended universe #should i probably snip this? yes. will i? no.

[therem-harth]

h h hewwo owoo 22 / 23 / 29 / 31 / 34 / 50 / 58 / 61 / 88 in any order, and u can also just. pick only those that u want :3

hhhh-ewwwo? I did say I wanted to chat and I desperately do not want to do work or studies so buckle in for a long post (derogatory). 22. role model? Oh man, I don’t think I have any, like, specific ones for entire things, though I do fall in my hero-worship phaes and then fall out of them like everyone else. I think that taking an entire person and being like I wanna be like them is... not for me though. But I do look up to some people for specific things - I look up to, weirdly enough, Abigail Phylosohpytube who I didn’t watch before her coming out for her graceful coming out video though she admits that the experience wasn’t obviously as smooth. I look up to lots and lots of people for their ability to create and their art (not gonna tag my fav artists bc am tiny and do not want people to look at me, but i do be reblogging). I look up to people like ConcernedApe Stardewvalley and Supergiantgames Hades for their ability to put so much soul in their work, smth I aspire to do. I look up to @not-poignant for, among other things, their idk how to say it best, wisdom in understanding and communicating with others and with myself? I’ve learned a lot by just sort of being in their periphery and seeing how they articulate their thoughts and choose to be kind and witness other’s pain. Hell, I look up to twitch streamers and youtubers sometimes (the recent nice trait I’d like to have if I ever went into bigger content production is how ibxtoycat deals with parasocial relationship realities). 23. strange habits? Hm. I don’t think drinking tea whenever I need a pick-me-up is strange, that’s just probably forcefully assigning a British nationality to me. I think my insistence on misspelling words in a way I think is lowkey funny might be one, I say thamks bc it feels softer, or thank bc it’s funny, I say sleeb, I say finkers or tryink or otherwise replace g with k for lulz. I also don’t know if it counts as a habit but I have a small leather band around my wrist that’s been there for a year soon. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm I probs have like, stranger habits but I can’t recall rn. 29. best way to bond with you? Hmm. Well, if you show initiative and are explicit about wanting to spend time with me, that’s already a big chance of me spending time with you. And then if our interests match and I don’t think that you’re like, young in a way that automatically puts me in a position where I don’t feel comfortable really being myself around you bc in my head I have to look out for you (it has happened with two of my friends, sigh), and we regularly spend time together, voila, friend acquired. It simultaneously doesn’t take much and takes a bit to be my friend and bond with me - it’s easy af to become a casual friend cuz I’m always open to new people, but there has to be a level of trust to become like, a close friend. Respecting my boundaries, talking shit with me, being explicitly committal about wanting to bond with me are big steps that way. 31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Uh, I don’t do neither, but a current fave that is reasonably badass is my black tshirt with like, a ritual circle and a deer skull. V edgy, 10/10. I also used to have like a real edgy tshirt with a jester and some dice that said the game of life, but I threw it out bc dysphoria. or maybe I put it at the back of my closet along with one other shirt In Case I Get Top Surgery so I can wear them then. 34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? Many, such is the nature of advertising, alas. I have managed to avoid most of it tbh though, so the only place I am forced to sit through ads so they stick is my scrabble capitalist nightmare app where I play and always beat haha my coursemate. And they have adds for those shitty apps where you have to solve a puzzle that ends up failing in the add and like, drenching a man in green goo. I find those kinda fascinating tbh. Who plays these games? Who plays these shitty shitty games whose ad has to be “prove your IQ“ to make you want to prove yourself to play them? Oh and also, the insidious nature of ads in media I consume - the mcelroys have gotten me informed about many many things bc they do it in a funny way. Have you heard about squarespace? What about meundies? I also literally installed honey yesterday that I knew abt bc of the relentless adds and I wanted to save, uh, 2.50 from my minecraft server purchase (and then spent some time googling how they make money before giving up. just say u sell my data, that’s easier than not knowing what part of this makes you money). I was tired and in a weird mood, ok. 50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? It’s always the stupidest jokes, what matters more is laughing together with someone and getting caught in a laughing loop. I still remember laughing with my siblings until our stomachs really really hurt bc I think one of us said a rug was vomit-colored and it was funny in the moment. How many times have I laughed like that with you too, vit. I know that Laura’s one is nostrilatu, right? :D :D It’s just something that catches you off guard, I think.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? Oh shid. Hm. 1) My ability to analyze data and understand the basic building blocks of something. Makes me cool at studying and sexy at explaining things to my course-mates. 2) Not a talent more like a skill that I’ve worked hard on through therapy - but my inner positive voice/healthy parent is very strong and automatic (something I was sure would never happen). A good example is me going out for a walk, my phone dying so I can’t listen to music, when I went in my head “well I can always make music in my head. do-do-do *drum sound*“ and I could feel the wave of self-reprimand cresting but before I could actually hear any negative comments the positive voice said with a light of a thousand suns NO THAT IS ACTUALLY CUTE AND SEXY and just haaaaaaah. 3) I sing good. Need to sing more. 4) I think I’m good at making conversation. Even with people I don’t necessarily like or want to talk to. More of a skill again but whatever. 61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Do not come to me and ask for favorites, witch. Uh, I have some quotes in my notes app, like 7 from Pia’s writing :D. But imma go with “It’s a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in the broken world“ by Mary Oliver. It counts, ok. Or, wait, something I will for real one day either crosstitch of commission shitpostcalligrapher: “t’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. “What are we holding onto Sam?” “There’s good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.“” 88. your greatest wish? Hrm. Right now? To have like a couple days with no responsibilities and without the outside world bearing on me as heavily, to be tiny tiny tiny so I’m invisible and can drink tiny tea on a tiny leaf. Uh, in general? My recently formulated wish or a goal is stability/peace. Then everything else becomes ok because you can bounce back to stable ground between feeling shit or everything happening so much. And I’ve sort of reached that. Also like, half a million euros would be nice too so I can get a house and a car and go on a few trips abroad. :D // there’s two ask memes in my blog recently, go wild

#long post #derogatory #personal #i think the wish to be tiny was there more last week #now i just wanna have nice things and fun and a bit of rest but am otherwise less overwhelmed #also hey. talks #chats

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Dino Had a Hard Day Yesterday (Feb. 17)

Well, I’m writing this on the 17th, so yesterday was the 16th. Yesterday was tough. As I’ve written in previous posts, my sister is hard on me (and my brother) because she’s an “ate” (Filipino word for older sister) who likes to be the boss and the superior being that she “inherently is”. 

I just wrote previously how she keeps roasting me over my mental health and keeps making fun of me for that which I really don’t like and get really upset over.  “In the past, she has said things like that I should be thrown out of the house or that I should do stuff or that I got bullied for my undesirable personality. This time, I got to hear how I’m a problem child and how I should be sent overnight to a behavioural institution to get myself straightened out among other things.” When I got my neurological assessment done, she asked if I had autism because apparently, I fit all the categories for it. I’m not saying that’s an insult because I know I have interacted and enjoyed being around people who are on the spectrum, and I can say that they are not lesser or greater than any other good person that I’ve met. I was upset because she framed it in a derogatory manner. I said I was impaired in a few areas (because I am). She laughed and said she knew already. My brother found out he was kind of gifted (or pretty above average), and I found out that I’m slightly above average in a couple of areas and impaired in quite a few which included motor skills which I need for music. If I say anything about it to her or my mom (about my uncomfortable being when she says those things), she’ll grow harsher and begin digging deeper. 

My brother just recently ended an important relationship in his life which broke him. They call it a break-up for a reason. We went over to his place. Yeah, I was still upset with my sister. I dragged my corpse over there because I didn’t want to appear weak. When I feel bad, tough luck. When my brother feels bad, I guess we all go over to help him. That, and because he had a physical reason to be upset (break-up). I did not. His breakup was kind of clean-ish. She didn’t state a reason besides changing feelings and other reasons that were out of his control, but he didn’t believe it. He felt like it came out of nowhere after two years of dating. Not to mention, she made sure to get a mutual friend to check up on him (and ironically, he got the same friend to check up on her). She’s really busy since she got into one of the top schools in the country for engineering (which he is also in except at a small college), she works as a librarian, is literate and fluent in Japanese, and has a bunch of other achievements. She’s soft-spoken and kind too. There was really nothing that we could talk badly about her because it was just two good people who just went separate ways. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t in a bad mood over everything in my life though. I started to get more aggressive online to some discord friends. I was starting to get really riled up. Whenever she says these things, it’s a “joke”. I don’t understand. I thought jokes were supposed to be funny?

Joke: What did the trash bin say when he was getting himself motivated?  “It’s called a garbage can, not a garbage cannot!”

Not a joke:  We should send you there [behavioural facility] when you’re a bad kid.

The psychiatrist keeps saying that I don’t work or think like other people which is why forcing myself to do all these things that are naturally difficult for me is a bit counterintuitive and kind of inefficient. He said, "I could drug you up with all sorts of medication to make you not anxious, but I don't think that would fix anything." But the thing is, I seek normalcy. I want to be normal. I know it was painful, but isolation has its own pain too. I know that my differences have brought mostly negative attention to me in settings like school, but I’m not going to be able to live this sheltered life forever. 

Yesterday, I was really tired. I tried to go out with my siblings. I really did. I went out with my mind half-asleep, and when I’m half-asleep, my brain has two auto-pilot modes: 

1. Total shutdown: I do not speak. I do not eat. I do not interact. I literally sit there like a dead fish. The most I can do is nod and shake my head. 2. Loose and easy-going: Probably the more “normal-looking” out of the two, I start rambling and say things that I instantly regret. 

I had the second one yesterday. I accidentally told my sister (who didn’t know prior) about the one experience I had in school (the one time I had a “crush”) and more intimate details of what kids at school were like. I accidentally kinda came out to which she responded, “Are you sure? I don’t think you can know at age 17.” I felt like crying because I didn’t want to say that, and when I did say it, she didn’t believe me. I wish I could take back everything I said yesterday but I can’t.

When she started calling me out on being an “oversensitive softie” again, I nearly lost it. She started recalling embarrassing stories of when I lost it before and how I was such an intelligible rugrat.

I responded (basically), “Stop picking on school. You know that’s a sore point for me. You’re done high school, and I’m not. Every time you make fun of it, I’m reminded of the fact that I could’ve academically finished high school. I could’ve finished those courses. The people there made my life hell and stopped me. I couldn’t finish because of those people (staff and students). Until I’m done school, stop making fun of it. I’m not sure if I’m ever going to graduate. Stop making fun of it (all because you got the easy route out.)” She shut up for a few minutes after that.

I don’t know how I’m going to carry on my week. There’s a break for orchestra because there’s no university next week, but I overall for very shitty because of what happened. I don’t really want to talk to anyone because all they say is, “Sorry, I don’t know how to help.” Or sometimes they don’t reply at all. It’s annoying. I feel a bit painfully numb as I usually do in situations like these (where I am too depressed to do anything remotely efficient/productive). But hey, I’ve been told that I’ve kinda functional kind of depressed person. Yay?

#dino rant

[rorschach74]

Saturday Night Incest

           Asking random people about their masturbation habits is a very strange thing to attempt.  Depending on the person they either get defensive, offended, way to open about describing the best solo orgasm they ever had, turned on and expect you to help, etc.  The list is endless.  As are people’s proclivities.  

           Heading to the local dive bar in a mainly Hispanic neighborhood adds its own challenges to the endeavor.  A previous drunken adventure there had almost resulted in finding myself on the wrong side of a six verses one fight.  I say fight knowing full well the outcome. Nevertheless, I decided time enough had passed and they would have forgotten about it.  Walking in, the room had the smell of stale beer, cigarettes, and the faintest scent of sex.  Perfect. Problem was it was only 8:30pm and there were only three people there.  The bartender, a thirtyish Hispanic man who goes by Flash (never got an explanation as to why but that’s usually how nicknames go), a woman I had never seen before, pretty but aged too quickly by a devil may care approach to life, and myself.  I sat four stools away from the woman as they seemed to be having a private conversation alone in the bar.  Flash came over to me, got me my drink and went back to the woman.  I thought to myself, well we’re all alone.  If he’s gonna talk now’s “his” chance.  So I wait for a break in the conversation and ask him if I can ask him a few questions about a story I’m writing.  With confidence he’s all about it.  “Ask away”, he says.  As I pose the questions I see on his face a very distinct uncertainty and horror.  After I explain as much as I can get out he interrupts me, calls me a faggot, and tells me to get out of his bar.  

           Driving to the next attempt I am actually relieved that he didn’t give an answer.  I didn’t want to like that place anymore.  I didn’t want his story told.  He was small minded and only concerned himself with the five feet in front of his face.  The story I was looking for was complex, unique, and dangerous, like speakeasies in the 20’s.  And right then I knew my next destination.  

           9:45pm.  This bar was known for having a secret speakeasy in the backroom.  I had asked once how could it be secret if everyone knew about it.  The obvious irony was lost on the bartender.  While I didn’t know the password I figured it couldn’t be that hard to get the info I needed.

           The only things in common with the two bars were the red hint in decorum and lack of televisions.  (Both only had two)  By this time of night a small but healthy crowd had formed inside the “main” bar. I sat down, ordered my drink, and contemplated my approach.  I figured I should be more tactful and try to bring the subject up after a bit conversation. Near the end of the bar I saw two girls and a guy in a group.  Noticing the guy was pretty much out of the conversation, I acquired my target.  I quickly became friends with him as we became thick as thieves.  Sharing stories reserved for the closest of confidants.  I soon began my subtle attempts at talking about the subject.  He told me with relish that because the hottest girls were in those videos he watched them.  The idea of incest disgusted him but he also came for a healthy family. Parents together 32 years, 2 older sisters in committed healthy marriages.  No divorce, nothing was ever broken.  His proclivities were more natural.  The kind that enjoyed large black cocks in small white girls.  

           I moved on to my next target when target one (or was it number two) began to argue with his girlfriend about the merits of anal.  Besides I still needed to find my way to the back room.  

           10:45pm.  Two attempts. 2 failures.  My friend/co-worker texts me to meet her at another bar.  I ignore it, for the time being, so I can keep the “investigation” “balanced”.  Drunk logic.  All other attempts at this bar are unfruitful as it turns out there is a private  party in the speakeasy that night.  

           11:30pm  My car reminds me that it needs washed with the white lettering they place on the windows once you’ve been towed.

           11:39pm  My coworker, Steph, is clearly drunk.  We have a very platonic relationship.  (Mainly because she is only attracted to black men)  I sit down with her “friends” and begin small talk.  It becomes clear that none of them want to talk to me as they had already formed groups of conversation and I was an unwelcome addition, at least at first.  It was on my second drink at Boar’s Head when I saw Bethany.  She was wearing a work shirt and had her black hair in a ponytail. He laugh was a mix between a teen girl trying to get attention from a teacher and an avocado, creamy, savory, and just the right amount of salty.  She was friends with Steph and because of this sat down next to me and immediately asked me “Who the hell are you?”.

           12:30am  Bethany has found a new seat, another man’s lap.  Being a man of some pride I ignore my jealousy.  After having a few drinks, we all become more acquainted, thanks in part to Bethany forcibly inserting me into the group.  I look around and see a perfect sample, five women, four men.  I bluntly start asking people about the project (it’s just a story but what do these idiots know).  Surprisingly the reception to my inquiry went well.  The group was very open to discussing their self-pleasuring habits.  Finally some real data.  We talked about everything from how at first the step-family videos were a new and exciting take that no one had seen before.  Then it became the main way of breaking in new talent.  Then it became one of the only things that the tube sites frequently updated.  Never underestimate free.  It became a strange dilemma even Joseph Heller could be proud of.  I posed the question, why was it “hot” in the first place. The best response I got was from the man Bethany was sitting on.  The familiarity and inherent closeness you fell toward a step sibling is a balancing act and when you cross the line it’s “naughty”.  It makes being related and having a secret one in the same.  And who doesn’t like having a secret?

           Bethany’s lap mate leaves as he has to be at work early.

           Steph comes up to me and tells me that Bethany is interested.  I tell her that she, Bethany, can tell me this herself and I’ve been sitting here the whole time while she grinded on another guys dick.  Steph tells me to grow up and asks “do you want to get laid or not?”

           Outside, we’re standing by Steph’s car waiting for her “friend”.  Me and Bethany are entangled in a make-out session as intense as the situation permits. Steph is holding conversation about her “friend”, telling us he isn’t worth her time.  Yet we wait for him to show up.  Steph is having none of his shit.  Quote “Girl I’m not from around here.   I’m gonna take this city by storm.  I’m more smarter than any of these motherfuckers out here.”  I audibly laugh when I hear the last line.  Steph shoots me a look as Bethany grabs my face towards hers, smiling as our tongues entwine.  

           Bethany pulls me over to her car and I ask if she wants to go back to my place or hers.  She is indecisive so I suggest we gin into her car to think about it.  A few hours later I’m driving home.  

______________________

           When I was first moving out here I was low on funds and needed to find a cheap yet safe place to sleep and store my things. Thus I found Nate on Craigslist. He was an older man of his sixties and a former cop.  “If cops can’t be trusted then boy is our society fucked,” I remember thinking as I had decided to move in based on a handful of phone calls and emails.  He was a relatively nice man with all the stubbornness and subtle racism a former authority figure acquires in the later stages of their lives.  Daily outburst of racial slurs to no one or nothing in particular became the norm.(No ethnicity was safe)  One of the things he was stubborn about was the cleanliness of the condo.  He forced me to pay for a maid service, $45 every six weeks, I told him I didn’t want.  The rent was so cheap that I didn’t argue too much past the first time he brought it up.  The main reason I argued against it was the main stipulation he had was that I couldn’t be home when she was cleaning.  I didn’t like being told when I could or couldn’t be home but again when you’re paying half the rent you should be you go along with abnormal things.  I had forgotten that today was maid day.  

           7:16am  As I pulled up I remember to park on the right side of the street for street sweeping. I lock my doors and admire the writing on the rear window again, like a scab that hasn’t healed yet.  As I get to my door I hear what sounds like a smack and a moan.  I assume it’s just the television and walk in.  For a moment I see time slow down as I witness Nate and the maid begin to realize someone else is in the room.  The maid, a middle aged Hispanic woman, pretty and voluptuous, wearing nothing but a beige bra, is bent over the front of the couch moaning “Papi, por favor follame adain”.  Nate, in nearly flawless Spanish, responds, “¿Asi que la nina de papi es una puta?”.  Right as he finishes speaking they both look over in unison to see my drunken, stupefied face.  She screams and runs to my bathroom.  Nate, frail body but hard as a rock, is stuck between chasing her and covering himself.  I start laughing and turn to walk out.  He yells after me, “I told you not to be here”.  I shut the door as I hear Nate trying to console the “maid” in Spanish. I don’t stop laughing until I’m a few streets away.  I know I won’t have to pay for the maid service again.  As I’m driving I keep coming up with one liners that I could have said in the moment but a majority of them would have been derogatory to the “maid”.  So I resign myself to the idea that the situation was funny enough to stand on its own.

           7:45am  Three missed calls, “Nate Roommate”.  I wait for my breakfast and go over the nights events in my head.  What did I learn?  Anything useful?  The waitress sees me thinking and asks what’s on my mind.  Still a little drunk I tell her my objective of the night and how I don’t know what to take from it.  She looks down and apprehensive.  She says “hold on a sec.”  She brings me my food and sits down across from me.  She looks young, maybe twenty years old.  I ask if she’s going to get into trouble sitting down.  She tells me she took her thirty minute break.  She starts to tell me about her experience as I realize tears are forming in her eyes.  

           Two years ago her Dad had gotten remarried. Her new step-mom had a son a few years younger than her.  (She was nineteen at the time in college living at home, he was sixteen and in high school).  He seemed nice at first, helping with chores so she could study, helping her sneak out at night and she the same for him.  Then something slowly changed and he started acting differently toward her, almost sexual.  It creeped her out but after about six months nothing had happened except the feeling that he was always looking at her funny.  Then one day when their parents weren’t home he walked in on her showering, refused to leave and started touching himself.  She ran out of the shower and stayed in her room until their parents came home.  She told them everything and they grounded him.  Took his phone, computer, car, everything they could.  She was happy at first until she realized that all that meant was he was going to be stuck at home with nothing to do but be close to her. So she got inventive.  She started getting up super early to take showers, and when he figured that out she would sleep in super late and not shower.  She waited till he had to leave before she would come out of her room.  She became a sort of prisoner in her own home so as to avoid the strange smile he would give her.  One day coming back from class she walked past his room, the door being open, and saw him with a pair of her panties jacking off into them.  Appalled she gasped and he just smiled and asked if she liked what she saw.  Her parents allowed her to put a lock on her door, sent him to a shrink, and things went back to “normal”.  He even apologized to the whole family, as she refused to be alone in the same room as him.  

A few months later she had begun to letting her guard down. She would leave her door open if she was home.  She stopped completely avoiding him.  After one night of drinking she had brought her boyfriend over and they had sex.  He had stayed the night as her parents were on a weekend vacation and her step brother was supposed to be with his friends on a camping trip.  So in the morning when they were having breakfast and her step brother walked in with that same shit eating grin on his face, her stomach dropped.  Before he even said anything she knew what he had done. He had, over the past few months, been sneaking into her room, finding the best angles for filming.  Now he had a tape of her and her boyfriend that “He would show to Mom and Dad, if she didn’t do exactly what he said.”.  Her boyfriend, wasting no time or words walked up and beat the shit out of him.  She tried to stop him before he seriously hurt him but admittedly she didn’t try too hard.  She called the cops and her parents.  Now her step brother is in jail for attempted rape, blackmail, illegal wiretapping, and a few other charges.  Even though the cops to first answer the call were the first to congratulate her boyfriend for what he did, her step brother was still a minor and that makes what he did very serious in the eyes of the court.  

After a long silence, as tears are streaming down her face she, with a laugh, apologizes to me for ruining my breakfast.  I look at her and as sincerely as I can tell her she owes me no such apology.  Her thirty minutes are about up and as only a woman can she composes herself, wipes her eyes, smiles, stands up, and asks if I need any more OJ.  

As I said in the beginning, human proclivities are endless. And so are the reasons behind them. For some it’s fear, some it’ power and control, other’s get so wrapped up in the fantasy of their own making they lose touch with everyone else’s reality.  But more often than not people are unaware of the reasoning behind their feelings.  Neuroscience research is beginning to show that the subconscious mind is just as influential as the conscious mind in decision making.  And I believe that sexual urges are largely animalistic in nature, initial attraction at the very least.  Much like whenever you meet someone for the first time and your eyes meet and your pupils dilate involuntarily because you are attracted to the person you are meeting.  Whatever causes us to become aroused is some combination of love, hate, symmetry, juxtaposition, desire, hunger, emptiness, societal pressure, a need to be touched, and just a hint of salt.  We are, to some degree, victims of our own desires.  

[alex-vella-blog]

Remembering Parents / September 2, 2018

They were lovely, loving people and I do not remember ever getting into any sticky, emotional tug-of-war or anything detrimental; nothing like the imbroglios in my own extended family, such as the legal battles between parents and children in my sibling’s family, or the unbrotherly relationship my ex-partners, brothers no less, exhibited towards each other and members of their respective families. (There’s a lesson to be learned here as to why, for God’s sake, if I was aware of the latter family’s suspect behavior towards each other would I entertain a business partnership!)

So why is it all a blur except for bits and pieces? I do remember that my parents were sticklers when it came to their own sense of propriety. For example they utterly believed and instilled in me the old adage that ‘children are to be seen and not heard.’ Wow! Tell that to my own grandchildren who believe they are the center of the universe and have absolutely no compunction about telling you, including their parents and grandparents, what they think and where to ‘get off.’

Another principle that they drummed into me at an early age was that authority was earned. This meant that as a rule I should be accepting of those who have achieved a higher rank through education, piety, or even adulthood. This applied to teachers, religious folk, and any person of authority. In retrospect, I paid a price over a long time for this parental tutelage. Even when ignoramus teachers where wrong, I tended to accept their final decision because of this nonsensical position that they instilled in me.

Here are a few of those rare, but indelible memories:

First day at my primary school, Stella Maris College, at 6 years of age standing at commencement queue arranged by class in the athletic field. I was asked by other kids how old I was and when I replied that I was 6, someone replied with a Maltese derogatory adage, “fuq kull sieq,” which loosely translates to “on each foot” to imply a lie. This is the first recollection that made me think I exhibited some differences from my fellow Maltese. I remember asking my parents why I was being teased and they assured me that I was not only taller but different and special. Has this kind of supportive parental reaction, and I’m sure many other instances like it, cause me to crave lifelong, undeserved, privileged expectations?

I remember my mother saying that I was the reason for our emigration to the U.S. She claimed that at an early age I had made clear that I wanted education outside of Malta and she felt that it was going to be a matter of time before I was old enough to follow through with my thinking. She says their action to immigrate hinged on that notion. Funny, but all I remember is that a few times I had mentioned that I wouldn’t mind doing my secondary schooling in the U.K., but nothing else.

Then there was my experience at the Institute of the Brothers of the Christian Schools or the De La Salle Brothers that ran Stella Maris College, which I attended from first grade through third form in secondary school, when the family left for America. I cannot say whether it was the best education available but it was an option available to the privileged and, I’m sure, costly.

It would be naive not to rationally conclude that in a religious order of all male celibates that there wouldn’t be some warped heads among them. In my 10-years at the school I came across three pedophiles with various degrees of proclivities.

How did my parents figure in? Well, I do remember times when I tried to speak to them about behavior that I didn’t understand…to no avail. The uniform response was always that the brothers were good religious men and I should follow their holy teachings and example. Years pass, then married and in my twenties, and low and behold my parents tell me that one of the above-mentioned misbehaving troika, who incidentally had left or been asked to leave the order and living in Canada, would be visiting the family home in South Hempstead, NY and would like me to come celebrate the reunion. They were unhappy that I refused to do so; but I chose not to bring up my youthful cautionary tale.

Living in a land of football (soccer), I was the oddball out, no pun intended, because in my single digit years, my feet and that elusive ball were always of differen minds. One day, noticing that I was not included in a pick-up game on the street for what I begrudgingly admit was my game inadequacy, I remember my mother hailing me from the second story balcony overlooking the street from where I assume she was observing events. Once inside she hands me a wonderfully wrapped football which was intended as a Christmas gift in future weeks. That would have been enough to assuage my friends’ dismissive behavior towards me, but she added, "There, you can have your own special ball! But most importantly you don’t need them, they need you!"

During the family’s sojourn from Malta to the U.S. at age 16 on a TWA prop-jet flight, I determined to become a pilot and let that be my calling. It didn’t come to be. My mother, over the next several months perhaps couple of years, was vehement that she was against the idea on account of the ‘danger of flying’ aspect. I should point out that an experience we had during the flight was the primary culprit for this calcified position.

The flight plan called for a stop in Frankfurt, Germany for refueling, etc., before continuing to New York. On taking off from Frankfurt, very troubling flames were evident from one of the engines. It didn’t help that we were seated where the unfolding visually horrifying telltale was being displayed.

As you can surmise, we did safely return to Frankfurt and after several hours passengers were given a choice to stay overnight as guests and take another flight the next day or embark on the same plane which, we were assured, was ‘fixed’. To my everlasting puzzlement, my parents decided to continue on the same plane that same day. Perhaps this had to do with their overwhelming sense of consideration for the relatives who were meeting us on arrival…but, it remains a mystery to me given my mother’s misgivings about flying. Nonetheless, the flight must have been a shocking experience for my mother... a memory she in no way wanted connected with her son.

Alas, these disparate, not-so-vivide glimpses are the tatters of memory I have of my parents.

I remember my mother saying that I was the reason for our emigration to the U.S.

[ncvastar]

task one — questionnaire

tw: sacrifice

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: NOVA ASTRA CALIGO PRONUNCIATION: NO-VUH ASS-TRUH CAL-EYE-GO MEANING:  THE WORD NOVA MEANS STAR SHOWING A SUDDEN LARGE INCREASE IN BRIGHTNESS AND THEN SLOWLY RETURNING TO ITS ORIGINAL STATE OVER A FEW MONTHS. AS A NAME, NOVA MEANS NEW. REASONING: IT IS UNCLEAR IF THEY CHOSE NOVA’S NAME DUE TO THE MEANING OF THE NAME OR THE MEANING OF THE WORD NICKNAME(S): NOVA, NOV, BLONDIE, AVON ( BECAUSE RORY THINKS SHE’S FUNNY ) PREFERRED NAME(S): NOVA BIRTH DATE: JUNE 14TH 1957 AGE: 25 ZODIAC: GEMINI GENDER: FEMALE PRONOUNS: SHE / HER ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: PANROMANTIC SEXUAL ORIENTATION: PANSEXUAL

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: HARRISVILLE OKLAHOMA HOMETOWN: LETUM FALLS OKLAHOMA SOCIAL CLASS: HER PARENTS WERE LOWER MIDDLE CLASS BUT HER GRANDPARENTS ARE UPPER CLASS SPECIES: WITCH TURNED SIPHON FATHER: ORION CALIGO MOTHER: PERSEPHONE CALIGO SIBLING(S): AURORA ‘RORY’ CALIGO BIRTH ORDER: NOBODY KNOWS PET(S): NYX? OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: NANA AND PAPA PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: LIKED A BOY FOR ALL OF FIVE MINUTES WHEN SHE WAS EIGHT BUT THEN HE PICKED HIS NOSE AND ATE IT SO THAT WENT AWAY REAL FAST. TOLD A GIRL SHE LIKED HER WHEN SHE WAS SIXTEEN AND THE GIRL FREAKED OUT SO NOVA USED MAGIC TO MAKE THE GIRL FORGET THE CONVERSATION EVER HAPPENED. CURRENT RELATIONSHIP: SHE’S IN LOVE WITH HER BED NONE ARRESTS?: A COUPLE OF NEAR MISSES THANKS TO MAGIC PRISON TIME?: NOPE, AGAIN, THANKS TO MAGIC

OCCUPATION & INCOME

SOURCE OF INCOME: GRUMPY CASHIER AT LETUM SKATE AND OCCASIONALLY MONEY FROM HER GRANDPARENTS  CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: MOSTLY MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: SHE AND AURORA  HAVE MATCHING NECKLACES THAT THEY CAN SIPHON MAGIC FROM THAT THEIR NANA GAVE THEM

SKILLS & ABILITIES

TALENTS: PISSING PEOPLE OFF SHE’S ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD SKATER, CAN SING BUT GENERALLY ALL YOU’LL GET FROM HER IS A HUM, CAN PLAY GUITAR AND DRUMS DRIVE?: SHE WOULD SAY YES, HER NANA WOULD SAY BADLY JUMP-STAR A CAR?: YES CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: YES RIDE A BICYCLE?: YES SWIM?: YES PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: YES PLAY CHESS?: YES BRAID HAIR?: YES TIE A TIE?: KIND OF — SHE CAN TIE IT, CAN’T PROMISE IT’LL LOOK GOOD PICK A LOCK?: WITH MAGIC

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: SOPHIE TURNER EYE COLOR: BLUE HAIR COLOR: NATURALLY RED BUT SHE DYED IT BLONDE NEARLY GIVING HER NANA A STROKE HAIR TYPE/STYLE: LONG AND STRAIGHT. OCCASIONALLY WEARS IT IN A HIGH PONY OR MESSY BUN IF IT’S TOO HOT OR GETTING IN HER FACE. GLASSES/CONTACTS?: NO DOMINANT HAND: LEFT HEIGHT: 5′9″ WEIGHT: 136 POUNDS BUILD: FIT BUT NOT QUITE ATHLETIC TATTOOS: CELESTIAL TATTOO DOWN SPINE, SPACE TATTOOS ON HER FINGER, STARS ON HER WRIST, GEMINI SYMBOL ON THE BACK OF HER NECK, MOON ON HER ANKLE PEIRCINGS:  HAS THE LOBE, UPPER LOBE, ORBITAL, INDUSTRIAL, TRAGUS AND HELIX PIERCED IN BOTH EARS . SHE HAD HER TONGUE PIERCED BUT HER NANA MADE HER REMOVE IT WHEN SHE FOUND OUT. MARKS/SCARS: A SCAR ON THE BACK OF HER NECK FROM WHEN HER PARENTS STOLE HER MAGIC AND ATTEMPTED TO SACRIFICE HER. BUT HER GEMINI TATTOO COVERS IT NOTABLE FEATURES: HER HAIR IS V LIGHT USUAL EXPRESSION: INDIFFERENCE ALLERGIES: SEASONAL DIETARY RESTRICTIONS: NONE PHYSICAL AILMENTS: NONE

PSYCHOLOGY

MORAL ALIGNMENT: CHAOTIC NEUTRAL ELEMENT: AIR ( BASED ON THIS QUIZ ) MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: NONE THAT HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED BUT SHE UNDERSTANDABLY HAS SOME LEVEL OF ANGER ISSUES ADDICTION(S): NONE DRUG USE: WEED ALCOHOL USE: YES PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: SHE’D MUCH RATHER MAGICALLY INCONVENIENCE A PERSON AND PASS IT OFF AS KARMA, BUT SHE WILL FIGHT YOU IF NEED BE ( CAN’T PROMISE IT’LL BE A FAIR FIGHT ).

MANNERISMS

HOBBIES: PLAYING HER VARIOUS INSTRUMENTS, MAKING CHILDREN CRY, NAPPING, ENACTING KARMA ON ASSHOLES NERVOUS TICKS / HABITS: LEG BOUNCING FEARS: SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN TO HER SISTER / HER GRANDPARENTS, HER PARENTS WILL COME BACK AND FINISH WHAT THEY STARTED, THAT SHE’S BECOME A MONSTER POSITIVE TRAITS:  INTELLIGENT, RESOURCEFUL, LOYAL, TRUSTWORTHY ( THE LAST TWO ARE REALLY ONLY IF SHE LIKES YOU ) NEGATIVE TRAITS: RUDE, SARCASTIC, BLUNT CURSING?: OFTEN

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: SLEEPING ANIMAL: CATS DUH BEVERAGE: COKE BOOK: SOPHIE’S CHOICE BY WILLIAM STYRON  COLOR: BLACK FOOD: NACHOS FLOWER: SNAPDRAGONS GEM: TOURMALINE HOLIDAY: HALLOWEEN MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: DRIVING QUOTE/SAYING: AS MANY CREATIVE DEROGATORY WORDS SHE CAN CALL A PERSON IN ONE SENTENCE  SCENERY: THE VIEW FROM THE TOP OF A MOUNTAIN GENERAL SCENT: SHE’LL NEVER ADMIT TO ANY OF THESE BUT - HER GRANDPARENTS’ HOUSE, HER SISTER, NYX’S CAT SMELL ( WHEN THEY’RE CLEAN ), FRESH SKATES PERSONAL SCENT: HONEY AND LAVENDER, OCCASIONALLY INCENSE SPORT: SKATING IS THE CLOSEST SHE’LL GET TO SPORTS WEATHER: THE DARK CLOUDS RIGHT BEFORE A STORM

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: TO GET HER MAGIC BACK GREATEST FEAR: HAVING TO LIVE WITHOUT AURORA MOST AT EASE WHEN: LISTENING TO MUSIC LEAST AT EASE WHEN: SHE’S FORCED TO DO SOMETHING SHE DOESN’T WANT TO DO BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: HELPING TO SAVE HER GRANDFATHER’S LIFE BIGGEST REGRET: LETTING WHAT HER PARENTS DID BOTHER HER SO MUCH MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: WHEN SHE WAS 7 HER NANA INSISTED ON ENROLLING HER IN A DANCE CLASS AND ACCIDENTALLY SIGNED HER UP FOR THE ADVANCED CLASS AND THAT ONE CLASS WAS ALL IT TOOK TO MAKE NOVA WISH SHE COULD DISAPPEAR THROUGH THE FLOOR BIGGEST SECRET:  SHE FELT A STRONG EVIL PRESENCE WHEN SHE WOKE UP AFTER BLACKING OUT AT THE FAIR. TOP PRIORITIES: THE HEALTH AND SAFETY OF AURORA, NYX, AND HER GRANDPARENTS

#othqtask

[automatismoateo]

UPDATE: I punched my uncle at a family event via /r/atheism

Submitted December 30, 2019 at 03:58PM by HippieCorps (Via reddit https://ift.tt/36cAgY7) UPDATE: I punched my uncle at a family event

this is an update to this thread

TL;DR: You should read anyway, there’s a lot of background info here.

So there’s a pretty big schism in my family drawn from the severity of the family’s religious beliefs. Around 1/3 of the family is extremely religious, extremely pro life and republican. They’re freaks. I was playing with my cousin in law and I asked him kinda funny like “Awww how do you have such cute hair! Who gave you that, it’s so adorable!” And the kid drops the frisbee, looks down at the ground with this sullen look on his face and says “he died on the cross”.... I’ve known them all my life and the curtains really are only now falling back in front of my eyes, revealing their sickness and their bad traits.

A different 1/3 of the family is religious but they consider themselves to be the good religious, extremely charitable moral and wholesome. And they are. They’re mainstream democrats. I guess I fit in mostly with this group. I hang out with them a lot.

The last 1/3 of the family, pretty much my grandmother and a couple aunts and uncles and cousins love them both and want to patch things together. Half of them belong to the evangelical group and half of them belong to the democrat group, but they’re the ones that can (sort of) successfully put aside religion and spend time with family.

Some more background info: I’m very atheist, the rest of my nuclear family is secular. My mom was born and raised Catholic but that completely changed when she married my dad who’s secular and doesn’t go to church. The evangelical sect has always absolutely despised my father. They talk to him odd at family events and criticize him behind his back when they think no ones listening. This group mainly stems into one nuclear family, I’ll call them the Lamillas. Their children all married in their teen years or early twenties (probably because they wanted to nuhnuh with their long ass term SO’s) They’re the main problem. I’m 17m now. As I was growing up, (I didn’t see this when I was younger but I do now. I see this now very clearly.) Whenever I stayed alone with my grandma at her house, one of the Lamilla parents came to visit almost every time and they together would always rush me to church or other church events. I never went to church as a child, and you must understand that in their eyes, if they didn’t take me to church when my evil evil secular parents weren’t around and introduce me to the lord and make me a Christian, indoctrinating me when my mind was young and supple, they believed I would go to hell, so they tried to take advantage of me when I was young. Fun. I think they’ve given up and I’ve pretty much stopped staying at my grandmas house and I’ve managed to protect my younger sister from this.

Additionally at family events throughout my life, everybody prayed loudly at the table before meals with really odd Christian prayers including like the snake, Adam and Eve, dying for our sins, chanting. Really fking weird stuff. Even at events that I myself or my nuclear family had hosted. I hadn’t seen anything like it before so when it was my turn to pray I usually just messed around, I was a child. Nowadays I sort of slink back into the bathroom for it or leave altogether. The theological difference really exemplified here in this contrast between fresh minds and old theism.

So the punching: I went to a family get together at my grandmothers where such events usually take place. Pretty much everyone was there. We were playing a game, and my uncle in the Lamilla family, let’s call him Uncle Renin, makes several offhand comments about my father who had to work. Very brief and somewhat derogatory but not too awful. On the second time I asked him what he meant and this is when the shit really hit the fan. He told me that my father had raised me wrong and that was all his fault. Again, I burrowed deeper in his words, asking what he meant. He had been drinking a moderate amount and he stood right up and started yelling at me full throttle. It was like starting an angry lawnmower. He started shouting, saying my parents had raised me wrong and I was going to hell along with them. Going to burn there. He yelled some other unpleasant stuff there too. What a nice Christian man.

Suddenly, around 17 years of mistreatment came flooding back to me. The offhand comments, the ostracizing my nuclear family from family events, the leaving me out, them taking advantage of me and my siblings as a child (not rape), the comments about my hair, my stature, my beliefs (or my lack of them) led to a spout of rage surging through me. I looked at the man who was shouting at me, spit coming from his mouth. I looked at this alcoholic trump supporter and I realized that his beliefs about me stemmed completely from my atheism. Not me as a person, just my religious beliefs. I’m sure the fact that I date an African American girl didn’t help. After a particularly vicious layer of insult I punched him almost as hard as I could. At first I went for the face as hard as I could but mid punch I sort of decided I didn’t want to get arrested for battery so I went a little lower and a little softer and got him right below the collarbone, flattening his ass. I quickly gathered my mother and siblings and tore out of there. I haven’t contacted my family much, I’m not sure how my grandma feels or anyone in that patch-up sect of the family. I’ve gotten 1 or 2 dms from the Democrat sect saying that Uncle Renin was completely out of line but the punch wasn’t justified but I couldn’t really think of anything else to do in that situation. I’ve completely ruined any and all relationships with the Lamillas and probably all of them in the evangelical sect but that’s ok. Our family is pretty divided right now and it’s mainly my fault.

Merry Christmas!

#reddit

[theauthorandi]

The world spun. The sun burned. The blankets stuck to her skin like an extra layer and they wrapped around her without regard to her desire for freedom. In the distance, the sound of vomiting was almost certainly what had woken her.

Sophia groaned.

"You're awake!" The grating sound of the too cheerful voice beside made Sophia want to vomit, and not just because she was enduring the hangover from hell. No, it was because the voice belonged to Benjamin Morris. It was because that sweet moment between sleep and waking had faded away.

It was because the memory of last night was flooding back in all at once.

Mostly it was because she could still hear vomiting from the other room. Poor Madison sounded like she had it far worse than Sophia did. At least, as far as hangovers went. As far as poor life choices and terrible mistakes went, Sophia had her best friend beat.

"Go away." She moaned, flinging an arm across her face to block out the light and all the dreadful things that came with it. The figure beside her didn't budge. She hadn't expected he would. This had been a long time coming, and no matter how hard she'd tried to fight it she'd still ended up in bed next to her best friend's brother. She could almost feel the smug grin he was directing towards her.

"Come on, sweetheart." He said, snuggling closer. "Don't be like that."

"Don't touch me." Sophia snapped. With her words, a sharp bite of electricity zapped out towards him. Benji yelped and jerked back. Sophia grinned, her eyes still closed. She'd meant to throw a wave of energy rather than electricity, but the effect was the same in the end. Hangovers always made her magic go haywire, it was lucky the results hadn't been more dangerous.

"Soooophiiiieee." Madison groaned out. The grin was wiped off of Sophia's face. She pushed herself into a sitting position and dared to open her eyes. Struggling with the blankets was made all that much more difficult when half of them were tucked under and around the mistake laying in the bed beside her.

"I'm coming," Sophia called, flinging the blankets off her. She wasn't wearing much and the chilled morning air picked at her skin, causing gooseflesh to rise. She suspected half of that was from the feel eyes tracing over her almost-bare body.

Sophia turned around with a glare and yanked the sheets from the bed. Benji yelped again, tumbling off the other side. She ignored him, wrapping the sheet around her shoulders and struggling her way into the bathroom. There, she found Madison Morris kneeling before the toilet that had become her weekend alter. Sophia ran a hand through her dark tangles and sighed.

"I've told you not to mix pixie dust and moonshine." She said.

Despite her exasperated tone, she kneeled down beside the other girl and held out a hand. Madison reached for her, grasping her fingers like a lifeline. Sophia dug deep into herself, finding the source of energy that normally came so easy to her.

With her own hangover threatening to empty her stomach it was important that she concentrate in order to get this right. It wouldn't do to kill or lobotomize her best friend because she wasn't paying attention.

"Fuuuck." The sound of Benji in the other room, complaining about some injury or other caused by falling off the bed filtered into the bathroom. He continued to grumble nonsense words that Sophie couldn't quite discern. She knew it was derogatory though, and so before she dared help her best friend she decided to quiet the other girl's brother.

From the bedroom, a startled gargling sound drifted in. Then it cut off entirely.

"What's that noise?" Madison complained, still gripping tight to Sophia. Sophie, now able to concentrate without the distraction of infuriating half-fae on again off again boyfriends, grinned. She focused on healing the pain in Madison's head and the nausea that overwhelmed them both before she answered.

"It's the sound of poor life choices coming back to bite me in the ass." She said. She felt wholly more capable now that her headache was gone and her best friend looked far more alive.

"Benji." Madison sighed, shaking her head. She stood up off the bathroom floor and helped Sophia to stand as well.

They both made their way into Madison's room to find the sight of Benji sitting on the floor beside the bed. There were ties around his ankles and wrists, and a length of silk covering his mouth. He glared up at Sophie, who only giggled at the sight of him.

"Kinky," Madison said, stepping around her brother to make her way into the nearby closet. She vanished entirely into the thing, leaving Sophia and the bane of her existence alone together.

"Lr Mr Gr," Benji grumbled through the gag. Sophia cocked her head to the side.

"I'm sorry, were you trying to say something?" She asked.

Benji scowled harder.

Sophia did not release him from the magical bindings. Instead, she began to pace in front of him, beginning the speech she'd planned to give him before the night had turned towards the worst imaginable outcome.

"Look, we can't keep doing this." She started. The scoffing sound from Benji was ignored, except perhaps for the way the binds tightened in a threatening manner. "No, I mean it. This isn't going to work, it never was. Whatever this is, anyway."

Another disgruntled grunt came from Benji, but he was ignored.

"There are things you don't understand." Sophia continued, and she stopped pacing. Her gaze drifted into the middle distance. "What I am, and what you are. They don't belong together. We don't belong together. We're through."

"R ru griding mr?" Benji shouted through his gag. Sophie turned back to him and seemed almost surprised that he was still sitting there with bound wrists and gagged mouth. She blinked, and the binds disappeared. Benji scrambled to stand up, towering over Sophia. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No," Sophia said, steeling her shoulders. "I mean it this time. No more sneaking off, no more random presents. Please. I can't do this to myself anymore. I can't do it to you, either."

"You idiot." Benji laughed.

He ran a hand through his shaggy hair and shook his head. Sophia glared at him and considered reapplying the bindings. The truth was that Benji was morn magical, though. He could have freed himself at any point and he'd chosen not to. Hope swelled within her that he would honor her wishes in this as well.

The incredulous laughter he was letting out seemed to suggest otherwise.

"Ha, oh gods, I'm sorry. Heh, I mean, I know it’s not that funny. It’s just-. Well, you’re so smart but you still haven’t got it. I don't care, Sophia. I've never cared."

"What do you mean?" Sophia asked, eyebrow rising. She'd never considered that this relationship meant nothing to Benji. He'd been chasing her since they were teenagers and only beginning to understand the magic they had a full grasp of now. From the closet, there was a crashing sound, and both of them glanced towards the partially open doors before returning to their conversation. Madison would call for them if she really ended up lost in there.

"I mean," Benji started, and then paused.

He glanced around the room, but Sophie kept her eyes on the man she was trying to save from himself and from her.

"Sophia, you aren't exactly subtle. Did you really think that hiding your world dominations plans under your mattress was clever?"

"I didn't-" Sophia started, but when Benji looked back at her she knew the game was up. "I mean, they were only ideas. I haven't-"

"They weren't bad." Benji interrupted. Sophia's mouth clamped shut and her eyes went wide. Benji grinned. "Really, I think they could work. But, I care about you Sophia and I think you're making a mistake here."

"Of course." Sophia snapped, turning away. She didn't want him to see the disappointment in her eyes.

She hated herself for thinking, for even a moment, that this might work. Her plans would be set in motion in less than a week and this really would be the last time she and Benji could be together. He knew, and he thought she was making a mistake. He wouldn't join her, just like she'd always suspected.

This all would have been so much easier if she didn't care what he thought.

Sophia wasn't going to stop, though. She was going to take over the world and not even the doubts of the man closest to her would get in her way. She didn't need him. She didn't need this. She turned towards the closet and the only friend who had ever supported her choices in life.

"Sophia, stop!" Benji called out.

She ignored him and ended up slamming into a wall of energy that threw her back into his arms. She struggled, fighting to get away from the one person who could stop her. He held her tight though, and all she managed was to turn around in his arms.

"Sophie, please. Stop."

"I won't." She growled, though she did stop struggling. "I won't give up on this. I don't care if you think it's a mistake, I'm taking over the world and that's it. Either you support me in this or you leave me alone. I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't want you to hurt yourself," Benji responded, leaning down so that their foreheads pressed together. Sophia shivered and hated how the familiarity of the gesture made her doubt herself and her plans. She steeled herself again, preparing to resort to magic to get free. Prepared to call of Madison if she needed, though she'd never wanted to cause a rift between the siblings. "I think you've misunderstood me. I'm not trying to keep you from accomplishing your goals. I'm trying to keep you from falling into the cliche of a lonely villain. You don't have to do this alone, you know."

"What?" Sophia asked. She held herself tense and wary. She didn't want to fall for this. She didn't want to find herself trapped years down the road because she fell for the tricks of some hero. Benji had always been her hero despite the antagonistic teasing that always passed between the two of them. Sometimes that teasing had felt more like flirting, after all. But still, she was going to rule the world.

She couldn't fall for some trick and lose it all right at the end.

"Sophia Scott, you are going to be the best empress of the world that ever there was. I believe in you, and I know you can do this without me." Benji said, still pressing their foreheads together. As he did so, she felt emotions that were not her own and knew that there would be no lies spoken between them. This was something that Benji had refused to do in the past, even with his sister. Honesty wasn't a fundamental part of his core foundation, yet here he was opening his mind to her. "You don't have to do it alone, though. You don't have to wall yourself away and refuse love. World domination doesn't exclude you from having an honest relationship, and I'm not going to stop you from doing anything except this. I will not let you ruin what we have."

"Benjamin." Sophia gasped, finally understanding what he'd been trying to say. Joy welled within her and she threw her arms around his shoulders, pulling him in for a fierce kiss. She could see it now, the missing elements to her plans. The parts of her life that wouldn't have been as fulfilling without someone to share them with. She wouldn't make Benji do anything he didn't want to, but from the words and thoughts he'd offered her it seemed that there was nothing he wouldn't do to keep them together. She was on the verge of crying when another crashing sound came from the closet.

They turned as one to stare at Madison, who was coming out of the closet dressed in a full leather suit and carrying a bayonet. In her other hand was a rope that led a pair of camels out of the half-open door. Madison took them in with a raised eyebrow and Sophia gave her a beatific smile.

"Got that sorted then?" Madison asked, and without waiting for an answer she led the camels towards the bedroom door and called out to them over her shoulder. "Good, let's get going. We have less than a week to iron out these plans and perfect our takeover. Long live Empress Sophia Scott!"

Hey there! If you liked this story and want to get more of Sophia, Madison, and Benji let me know! There are plenty of adventures for them to go on that extend far beyond their creation in a Cards Against Humanity prompt, I think.

Now, if you’re interested in seeing more Cards Against Humanity Promptsfulfilled check out my website. If you have any CAHprompts to submit, send me an ask. And as always, if you’re looking for updates and interesting stories of The Author’s life, subscribe to my email list!