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#their relationship is dysfunctional at its core and tragic to the very end
bitchfitch · 3 years
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im taking a break from the space twink bc im getting hashtag frustrated wif it, so heres Fantasy!space twink and his husband who is not an ai in this universe.
jdjsjs, Everard was originally Boar!Everard instead of half elf!Everard. which is why hes so fuckin big. i was just too lazy to make him smaller
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dangermousie · 3 years
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Hello !
I was wondering whether you could rate and tell us of your top 5 favourite webnovels/cnovels of all time ?! (Sorry if this has already been answered lol😅)
Thank you, stay safe and have a nice day🖤
Awww, thank you and that is such a lovely ask!!!
From n1 to n5, here they are (they happen to be all danmei.)
1. The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) - my n1 forever and ever.
Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.
I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)
And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.
Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.)
Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!)
Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!
2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated.
Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.
This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love.
Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)
3. Qiang Jin Jiu - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train.
In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.
This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.
As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs.
Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.
4. Wu Chang Jie - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet.
In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.
Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.
Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever.
And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.
One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on.
If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in.
There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify.
Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.
5. OK, this is hard and switches between Sha Po Lang, Heaven Official’s Blessing and The Golden Stage depending on my mood. So what the hell, I am gonna write about all of them.
Sha Po Lang - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)
Heaven Official’s Blessing (TCGF) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.
The Golden Stage - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.
I guess I didn’t write as much for the three n5 candidates as I did for 1-4 but my brain is beginning to curdle so...
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fairydust-stuff · 3 years
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Yut Lung Lee fic rec list
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Yut Lung Lee fic recs: Fanfiction focused and centered on Yut Lung lee. (No yuesing because that deserves its own list) Also none of my own stories are on here because that would be Cheesy. 
Its My fault I know I'm selfish by Livesinbooks
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27619817
A time loop fic about Yut Lung being forced to relive that night in Golzine's manor until he gets it right. It's a simple premise but a solid character study that really grasps the complexities of Yut Lung's character and team Ash even grows with him. A must for Yut Lung and also Eiji fans this is a great redemptive fix-it fic.
A Cabin in the Woods https://archiveofourown.org/works/27435316
Eiji and Yut Lung get captured by a serial killer and have to save each other's butts. It does a good job with its cold take on Yut Lung's phycology and actually utilizes both of their skills while keeping both their personalities intact. Its listed Ash x Eiji but its actually an Enemies to friends fic that's very Yut Lung centered.
Silence is Enough by Mackerel _ pizza
https://archiveofourown.org/works/20616266
Yut Lung and Eiji meeting at Ash’s grave
Why you should check it out if you think Eiji got screwed over by the end of the series and are interested in stories exploring both Eiji and Yut Lung’s grief and reactions in the after math of Ash’s death. This is the oneshot for you.
Reversal by twoheartsx
https://archiveofourown.org/works/16734120/chapters/39636393#workskin
A reverse universe where Ash is evil and Yut Lung ran away from his brothers years ago and is the gang leader who found out about Banana Fish.
Why you should check it out- Ash makes a delightful villain and seeing Yut Lung and Eiji who aren’t superpowered beings struggle against him is an interesting role reversal.
Easier this way by Aella - Antiope
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15902712
Just Yut Lungs pov on the bedroom scene with Dino
Why you should check it out
Its makes a dark situation humorous due to Yut Lung’s snark and exasperation with Eiji and also has a bit of a complex dynamic between them.
Wingless Child by trillingwire https://archiveofourown.org/works/16235846
An alternate take on what happened before Dino showed up in the bedroom scene.
Why you should check it out well its hardcore Yut Lung X Eiji and it really does feel like it nails Yut Lung’s character and the roller coaster of emotions he feels towards Eiji during this fic is just captured incredibly! I’m also a sucker for Yut lung instructing Eiji on anything. This is one of the more believable Yueiji fics and it is one of the better takes and this is what made me at least dabble in Yut lung x Eiji
Wanting Crescent by Drunk Yeet
https://archiveofourown.org/works/16213781
Blanca x Yut Lung fic
Why you should check it out
I’m not a Blanca x Yut Lung or even a Blanca fan but this really captures Yut Lung’s insecurities about Blanca & Ash and his dysfunction about caring for Blanca and just these two dumpster fires in general. Its a beautiful fic and well crafted and if Blanca x Yut Lung is your jam might as well purchase the brand name jam.
Numbness (with a side of denial and tears) by beyondmyreach
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15928760
A Yut Lung character study about his thoughts on Shorter Wong
Why you should check it out
It really puts into words Yut Lung’s implied feelings toward Shorter Wong and its a overall good character study about his death affected him.
Soft.. by catpoop
https://archiveofourown.org/works/16232690/chapters/37946075
Yut Lung through the years
Why you should check it out
A character study that explorers Yut Lungs abuse and his toxic family relationships its sad but does a good job of filling in the blanks of canon focusing mostly on Yut Lung’s childhood.
Catpoop also has another fic called past forged boundaries as well, only five chapters.
But the premise is Yut Lung running away and ending up in Chinatown and meeting the Wongs and its still really good. So i’ll leave that link down below as well. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16413449/chapters/38425235
Complex Crystalline by Groombella123
https://archiveofourown.org/works/16590188 Drunk Yut Lung menacing Eiji set during Eiji’s time as Yut Lung’s prisoner.
Why you should check it out
If you like Yut Lung and his messy complicated feelings for Eiji and with a dash of one sided unrequited love on his part this is the fic for you.
Though shapes and shadows by twoheartsx https://archiveofourown.org/works/16413599
An examination of Yut Lung & blanca dynamic
Why you should check it out
If you like blanca & Yut Lung angst this is a good one to check out honestly.
The End of something by Angela https://archiveofourown.org/works/16718452
An aftermath of Ash’s death story
Why you should check it out Yut Lung dealing with his grief and guilt over Ash’s death and the author's spin on it is great. Also great use of oc character that ties into the story well.
Half a Letter by Hamliet
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17110589/chapters/40240322
It maybe labeled ash x Eiji but the core of this fic is Ash & Yut Lung’s relationship
Why you should check it out
An Au ending to the story that makes sense wraps up three character arches/dynamics in a satisfying way and Hamliet is just a really great writer who crafts action packed suspenseful stories that capture the characters very well.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/16267535/chapters/38039114
A link to another Hamliet fic called Stray Phoenix
an Au where Yut Lung realizes Shorter is about to be killed and saves him in time.
Why you should check it out
You should check out all of Hamliet’s fics, but this particular one is one of the best Yut Lung redemption stories i’ve seen and once again it wraps up everything more satisfyingly then canon. Also one of the best Yut Lung x Shorter fics i’ve read.
Lost in you tonight
https://archiveofourown.org/works/16650073
Yut Lung mourning Ash’s death
Why you should check it out
If your like me and starved for Ash x Yut Lung content this is a good one to check out also the Sing & Yut Lung dynamic is really sweet and lovely.
Fever by Miles Libertatis
https://archiveofourown.org/works/16866739
Yut Lung brings a sick Shorter rice porridge
Why you should check it out
You think a premis like this would be cute but its angsty as frick it does a good job of nailing both characters and how tragically doomed it is anything could develop between them.
the robbing the nest by zechariahfour (sodas)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17006610
Yut Lung in the aftermath of the slaughter of his family
Why you should check it out
If your like me and think that Yut Lung’s murder of his brothers kids was poorly handled in terms of it supposedly being his full dark side moment but never showing the frigging after math to the point where it might as well not of happened. This is a good dark one shot that adds some much needed exploration to that situation.
Dancing on the Blade by Inked Page
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17002401
Yut Lung and Shorter playing with knives
Why you should check it out Flirting attraction between two people who could kill each other. This is one of the more morbid Yut Lung x Shorter fics which kind of makes it great.
I Can still Hear Her by orphan account https://archiveofourown.org/works/17151815
Yut Lung telling Blanca all the ugly truths about what he went through
Why you should check it out
orphan account is an author that is very good at handling dark content and this one is no exception this author takes the subtext of Yut Lung’s childhood during Banana fish and makes it overt text.
Endless nightmares is another good Yut Lung by the same author focusing on Yut Lung’s alcoholism and recovery.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17321861
Somewhere along the lines i forgot what love is by petitlionhomme https://archiveofourown.org/works/17120294
Yut Lung holding Eiji captive like in cannon but they fall in love
Why you should check it out
This is one of the better Yut lung x Eiji fics and one of the few where Eiji returns the feelings its a nice slow burn that takes its time and goes back to a time in cannon where Eiji wasn’t quite so peeved at yut lung and it could have worked.
Also this author wrote a dark series where one of the one shots has a Yut Lung focus
Its called Prince on a broken throne
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17365550
Blighted by Judar chan
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17321573
Yut lung x his brothers
I kind of hate myself for suggesting this one but the power plays between the three of them are well written even though the explicitness of the whole fic is uncomfortable as hell. Also Yut Lung devious scheming side is in full effect and seeing him brought to his lowest still trying to grab whatever power there is, its just great characterization. If your easily triggered i’d avoid this one but if you do enjoy fictional power plays and messed up sex stuff maybe check this one out. They also have another fic called Spoiled which has similar themes.
Splitting image by epan
I don’t want to give this one away, because reading it and finding out is the point. I'll just say its tragically beautiful and leave it at that.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17299862
Better then you by Val Creative
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17365550
Yut Lung x Shorter Au take on the scene where Shorter pins him down
Why you should check it out
If you like your soy sauce confused and angry this is the fic for you.
Cricket by artemis date
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17921990
Yut Lung and Eiji strike up a relationship while in Paris
Why you should check it out if you like angst ridden doomed romance stories this would be right up your alley.
Dangerous Weapon handling by Fallon Kristerson
https://archiveofourown.org/works/18585589
Shorter Yut Lung and a conversation about guns
Why you should check this out
You like your soysauce with a dangerous Yut Lung and adrenaline junkie Shorter this is for you.
Calm time by Carmel rose
https://archiveofourown.org/works/18584803
Yut Lung x Arthur
Why you should check it out
Scheming villains and power plays if you like villain pairings this is one you need to check out.
East of eden by flakes https://archiveofourown.org/works/18608308/chapters/44117839
And its sequel Wild Rose https://archiveofourown.org/works/21545941/chapters/51362707
I know both are Yut Lung x Shorter they are in spanish and i know google translate isn’t the best but darn it these fics deserve more attention and its worth it to try and decipher the meaning even if your not a Spanish speaker due to the lovely slow burn and character development.
The same language by frozenyogurt
https://archiveofourown.org/works/19272427
Once again not in English but as a well written three part one shot series known as guns and Lavender centering around an AU where Ash met Yut Lung first its more than worth the trouble. Especially since it is one of the best Ash x Yut Lung fics and honestly inspired my own fic writing.
Burning Cities and Napalm Skies by dia dove
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21639952/chapters/51601735
An Au where arthur survives and him and Yut Lung both try and cope with the past and look to the future
If villains healing together is your jam and you sympathized with wanting better for Arthur this the fic for you. Mirror Image by Kaen Okami
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22188835
Another drabbel about Yut Lung and his mom
Why you should check it out
Its just another very good character study focusing of Yut lungs grief for his mom.
CD’s and Mottorbikes by Asmicarus
Yut Lung gets lost Shorter finds and takes him home
Why you should check it out
I don’t want to give too much away but Shorter and Yut Lung dancing to billy joel is just one of the highlights of this fic. If your into fluffy soysauce this is one you’d enjoy.
Ice cold meltdown by knoxoursavior https://archiveofourown.org/works/23652046?show_comments=true#comments
Yut Lung sinking into despair
Why you should check it out
The language is beautiful and the picture it paints just gives me chills every time i read it. Honestly this author has several good Banana fish fics both angsty and sweet that are Yut Lung centered but you may want a box of tissues on hand just in case.
Nemeseia Lunaris by Amigara https://archiveofourown.org/works/19351834/chapters/46040242
Eiji is killed by Shorter and the rest of Ash’s group is finished off by golzine craving vengeance Ash accepts Yut Lung’s offer of an alliance.
Why you should check it out
Its an Ash x Yut Lung slow burn with solid characterization and really explorers the dynamic between these two as well as giving more presence to some of the more minor villains. i’m not sure where the fic is going but i’m loving it so far and i really think you guys will not be disappointed if you give this one a chance.
Deep in Love by ladycrazy13
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25635673/chapters/62230915 Yut lung x Ash fighting zombies which is also why you should check out this dark fic
The Killers by Aeriel https://archiveofourown.org/works/22392976
Another Blanca x Yut Lung fic (considering i suggested a few non con incest fics on this list i might as well rec a few of these too)
Why you should check it out
The characterization is great and the Blanca and Yut Lung dynamic is one i could see happening on screen. Once again don't want to give to much away but if your looking for Blanca x Yut Lung that feels like it could be cannon this is one of the better ones. (Also its not about Blanca's frigging dick! for once)
serpant twining by Aoftheis https://archiveofourown.org/works/17644940
Blanca tries to be a good person and mostly succeeds but still is a bit creepy honestly
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aelaer · 4 years
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Do you know any good fanfics that star Tony, Stephen and Peter? If you do can you please recommend them to me? Thanks!
I just ended up typing this on my phone's notes app. I still can't believe how primitive the tumblr app is. Thank goodness for copy/paste.
So I have a confession, nonny: I'm not terribly fond of the IronDad & SpiderSon relationship in fics largely because the majority of the stories just whump Peter and I'm not really fond of Peter whump. I think it might be his age, but I've also never been a fan of whumping the cinnamon roll character in any fandom I've been in.
And that's basically what a ton of the stories who star both Peter and Tony are. I'd actually like some recommendations of these two that have little to no Peter whump to better endear me to the genre. And how about a story where Peter has to save Tony instead? I'd love to see that. But yeah, too much Peter whump and where the hell are all the Stephen whumpers I'm going to cry.
Also, if the story is not IronStrange, Stephen tends to be poorly characterized (way too cold). Even if it IS IronStrange, Stephen still tends to be really poorly written in like 70% of them - OOC in several ways. A lot of authors who write him don't seem to get his nuances and he's mostly played for laughs or as a heavy hitter if anyone hurt Tony or Peter, and it's just too bland for me. That, along with my hyper-critical, uh, criticism of how minor characters are portrayed leave few recommendations from me in this particular genre of stories.
But I spent the last few days (thank goodness for the notes app) going through the tags to see what I could find/remember reading and there are a few that I enjoyed. I have quibbles of various sorts with all of them but I can set that aside for the most part and enjoy them for what they are.
Anyway, there's a wide way I can answer your question, nonny, as it's quite open to interpretation. If you're looking for the Supreme Family trope, I've found the tag and organized it by kudos. Most are ironstrange with this tag.
It's honestly not a trope that I prefer in my MCU fiction and I avoid most stories with it (as well as for other reasons), but here are two under that tag that I did enjoy:
Sunrise in Exile by Ragdoll
I've only read to 17 IIRC (it's a really really really long fic with mega chapters) but up to that chapter at least it's presented a very nuanced look at Tony that's very different and yet feels completely in character. Stephen and Peter are completely on point. The originality and world building thus far are magnificent. And as of Chapter 17 the other characters in the background seem to be written true to their characters, which is more important to me than any ship. When side characters are written poorly, it reflects on how the main characters are written and just throws me out of a story. Definitely my favorite fic that uses this tag that I could find in a quick search. Very strong writer, very original story.
Hold Me Still by lantia4ever
More Stephen and Tony with background Peter, but he's talked about a lot. And I'm a sucker for Stephen whump so that basically boosts this one lmao. It's a fun story with a premise I haven't seen before either, so kudos to the author for that bit of creativity.
From there, I looked at the Peter Parker & Stephen Strange tag for stories that also had Tony Stark and got this list, again organized by kudos.
The Courtship of Peter Parker's Father (Figures) by flyingonfeatherlesswings
Another IronStrange, but it's sweet and I do like this author. And Peter's not overly childish which is what kills Peter for me in a lot of fanfiction, as if these writers have never actually interacted with a teenage boy before. Which I appreciate. Yeah, I'm not the best person for your question... I'm quite critical of how Peter is written lmao. But yeah, this is a nice bit of fluff.
We're Not There Yet by Isnt_it_pretty_to_think_so
Stars Peter and Tony mostly, but Stephen is there and portrayed a bit differently than he usually is in these sort of fics. Gen too so something different. Good pacing, and a good original idea.
turn back the clock (and I'll try again in the morning) by madasthesea
Again mostly a Peter and Tony story, but Peter's character is executed very well here and it's a great twist on the concept. Stephen is a bit cold for my tastes and it would be nice if he were more 3D but it's still a good story. I adore how Ross is made a villain in one instance because Ross is a flaming asshole and not enough people remember that.
Now if someone could take this concept in this story and do that to Stephen, I'd be really really appreciative. Not sure how'd it all work out but a spell to just increase the suffering of the repeated day is such a great bit of angst that I need in my life.
The End of Infinity by FriendlyNeighborhoodFangirls
Also stars Loki along with those three. Very very long, certainly original. Most people will like this story. I wish she'd gone drpepperony instead of Pepper with an OC (if Stephen had to be romanced - I'd have preferred he hadn't) but that's more personal preferences than anything. Doesn't change the fact that it's very original and certainly stars all three in various capacities. There's places I could critique it like any of these stories but for such a young writer she's done very well and improved immensely in her storytelling time in fandom in a short amount of time. I look forward into seeing where her writing journey takes her - I think she'll go far.
Dysfunctional: A Strange Encounter by ApolloLoki97
A true Avengers as Family rebuild after Civil War in the first two stories, and you meet Stephen in this one. Great characterization of everyone. Overall this is a fantastic series if you like Peter and the Avengers in general, but it's in this story that Stephen properly shows. Which is why it's my favorite.
Let’s Try This Again by peterparkr
I just discovered this one. A tragic comedy. A comedic tragedy. Basically Stephen and Peter fix the last fight in Endgame. It takes over 10,000 words of attempts to do so. Their sanity goes a bit. The story is unique and really a dark comedy at its core. Also happy ending.
To Lose, Nonetheless by VisionaryGalaxy
Ahhhhhh I'm a sucker for sacrificial!Stephen. Another IronStrange with a dose of whump for Peter and Stephen. (I really want her to continue her kidnapping fic but I also didn't want to actually spam her inbox like I threatened to so I just silently pine for it now. If someone here is good friends with her though I'd be obliged if you poke her on behalf of my pining. This is a bad fic review. Just go read it).
And this one was under neither tag but I remembered it existed.
Just Another Day in New York by dragonnan
Tony has more of a side role here. But what we have is lovely Peter and Stephen interaction. And a spoonful of Stephen whump just to sweeten it. So yeah of course I like it.
I don't know if this was what you were looking for, nonny, but I hope it's something.
Now if Stephen can become as popular as the other two after his movie comes out I'd be a very happy clam.
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Welcome, O life! I go to encounter for the millionth time the reality of experience and to forge in the smithy of my soul the uncreated conscience of my race myself, bitch.
James Joyce -- Ulysses (with some much needed editing)
I haven’t written here in a long time. In fact, after this post, I don’t really see myself writing here every again-- and no, before any of you (if there is, in fact, any one who will see this) jump to conclusions, this isn’t some kind of weird suicide note, or plea for help. What this is, is a sort of manifesto, or a summation, of everything that I’ve felt, and am feeling at the moment, and in a way, hopefully, purging myself of these feelings forever. It’s a goodbye, but also a new opportunity. A creation, as well as a destruction. A final litany of things that I have to say, or wanted to say, and a final exorcism of numerous antagonistic little ghosts that have been rattling around in my head for God knows how long. 
I’ve always been struck by the concept of a sort of Joycean paralysis. Maybe because it’s true-- that Irish people are, in a weird way, struck with a sort of deep, abiding, spiritual malaise, a psychological and emotional paralysis, as a sort of weird, post-colonial hangover-- or maybe because it simply hits too close to home. The narrative of a sort of genealogical, archaeological torpor is one that is all too easy to believe, because it is something that I have experienced quiet viscerally throughout my entire life, but also in a way that is difficult to articulate. The sense that you’re fundamentally at odds with the world around you because of some fundamental, spiritual displacement resulting from years (centuries?) of imperialistic and religious abuse isn’t something that goes well over dinner, after all-- especially when dinner is a hurriedly bought Burger King and the sound of mopeds careening up and down the Cardiffsbridge Road muffles the sound of Coronation Street on the television. 
But it’s a feeling that has stuck with me so long. Longer than I can really remember. This sense of being held back. By myself, by the world around me, by the people around me. Dreams of leaving, of emigrating, have been a consistent fantasy of mine. Occasional spurts of creative writing have always been characterized by the theme of a departure, whether through the realm of some childish Tolkien-esque fantasy or through a plane ticket that randomly fell into the protagonist’s (read: my) lap. That feeling of momentary, ontological vertigo, when the plane leaves the ground and you can feel yourself lifted in that miniature pocket of zero-gravity, is a sensation that I’ve craved and chased (either literally, or figuratively) whenever possible, with varying degrees of success. I even had, at one point, a bit of a miniature breakdown (you know those ones, where they creep up on you, where you have this vague sense that at any minute things are just going to collapse all around you, and nothing will ever be the same) and I started doing some pretty illegal things to get money (fill in the blanks there however you wish) in order to essentially run away, get a plane ticket to somewhere, and just start afresh. But that did crash down, either way-- I started having some viscerally severe panic attacks; I felt like I was going to be trapped here, forever, that I was going to die here, that all the dreams and aspirations I had of doing something worth while were just gonna be swallowed up the dull, plot-less relentlessness with which life here seemed to drive itself--arguably into the ground. I attended counselling, got a professional, objective perspective, and was able to get to grips with things. The anxiety stopped. The borderline insane drive to escape was lulled, and while the gnawing sense of there being a sort of hole, at the center of everything, dissipated, it didn’t quite disappear. I was, once again, able to manage, and plod right along. 
Over time, I’ve come to terms with the fact that my sense of malaise is not, in fact, the result of some kind of literarily prescribed sense of paralysis-- or, at least, not entirely. It is the result of years, perhaps arguably even decades, of mistreatment. By a family and a home that is so deeply dysfunctional that it is, legitimately, tragic. By an early upbringing so neglected and isolated that, to look back and take an earnest look, is genuinely pathetic. By a mindset and by people who see who I am and see something to laugh at. I’ve slowly come to terms with the fact that my family have never quite seen me seriously, as someone incompetent, flowery, soft, and not worth paying attention to. Years, again, potentially decades of subtle gaslighting, invalidation, negation, criticism, patronizing, condescension-- all compounded by shitty, so-called friends, who were all too happy to take advantage of my desire to please and turn it around on me-- had resulted in a person who had so much self-doubt, such a negative self-image, such a horrible sense of failure that, to further disappoint, would result in self-harm. Decades of having my life dictated to me, taking up responsibility and accepting the burden of my family’s terrible choices, of having my potential and my opportunities circumscribes by what seems to be the endlessly unfolding soap opera of my extended family’s self-inflicted pain.  And the worst part is that I simply thought all of this was normal. The concept of Joycean paralysis was able to help me understand, in a vague sense, what was really wrong, but only hindered me in truly understanding its origin.
I worry that if I go on like this I’ll only end up sounding like some kind of serially self-pitying asshole, one of those people that advertises their personal trauma and tragedy as a means to win the Sadsack Olympics, or obtain sympathy, or blame their lack of success and fulfillment on their past. But in the end, that isn’t what this is about. That isn’t the reason why I’m writing this post. In fact, the reason why I am writing this is far more joyous, written with a deep smile spreading across my face. I’ve spent my entire life orientating around myself around other people, of pleasing other people, and I’ve gotten very, very good at figuring out what is that people want, and giving it to them. What I’ve learned, an what I’ve finally gotten the balls to do, is do what I want. I’ve learned to say no. I’ve learned to pursue what I want, to accrue self-confidence, self-love, self-esteem. I’ve learned to deny people, to put myself first, and tell people who need to be told what for. I’ve learned that to be “good” is to give in, to do as I’ve told and take it all on the chin, and I’ve learned that to be “bad” is to pursue what I want, and to rebel. And, fundamentally, I’ve learned that when I am good, I am very, very good, but when I am bad I am FUCKING FIERCE. 
So I am leaving. In fact, I’ve been planning on leaving for quite some time now. Since March, roughly. I am moving to the U.K, getting away from this place, to spend time with people who I have chosen to spend my time with, that I have build up relationships purely of my own choosing and initiative, and whom I trust. To build a life that I choose to build, for myself, and shirking off as much of the trauma, pain, insecurities and self-doubt as I can. Psychiatrist Harry Stack Sullivan believed that the core motivating force in all human behavior was anxiety, and not just anxiety, but the creative and ornate ways we go about avoiding or managing it. According to him, a personality was simply a collection of habits and strategies people gathered over time to “avoid or minimize anxiety, ward off disapproval, and maintain self-esteem.” What I’ve learned, personally, is the sheer liberating power of identifying and deconstructing the aspects of my own psychology that are life-limiting, and taking great joy in completely and utterly destroying the ones that are build up anxious defense mechanisms. I would be lying if I said that it wasn’t scary, because when these mechanisms fall I’ll be thrust, head first, into facing the things I am most deeply afraid of—social rejection and abandonment, unworthiness and failure, unlovability and isolation, to name a few. But it is liberating because I’ve come to realize that, yes, our defenses serve a function, but no, we don’t actually need all of them to survive-- and then, suddenly, an entirely new life is possible. I’ve come to realize that I actually CAN tolerate anxiety; I CAN live with not being liked, I CAN be misunderstood, I CAN make mistakes, I CAN feel bad. And let me tell you, it is a relief. God is sometimes understood as a creator, but he can also be understood as a destroy-- And I am choosing to be the God of my own goddamn life, and taking great pleasure in destroying that which I don’t like.
I’ve ended up prescribing some great, symbolic significance to the act of me leaving. It is me righteously striking back at all the things that had made me hate myself in the past, because they couldn’t simply tolerate hating themselves and needed to destroy me in order to feel better. And so, to them, I say: 
Fuck my family, who have done nothing to actually foster and cultivate who I am as a human being
Fuck the people who have turned my own kindness against me and made me doubt myself
Fuck the people who have made me feel as though my command of words is a weakness-- I am a fucking fantastic writer, and I dare any of those people to challenge me, because I’ll write them into the fucking ground. 
Fuck the people who made me doubt my intelligence; I am more than smart enough to figure things out for myself and smart enough, at least now, to see them for the self-hating, jealous troglodytes they are.
Fuck this place that has made me feel that who I am is wrong, and lesser, and subordinate-- I am worthy, and powerful, and capable.
Fuck this country, and its backwards, stagnant, repressive culture
FUCK
YOU
And that’s it. There’s my gigantic, theatrical display of radical self-acceptance. In a way, what I want to do is leave, and never come back. To delete all my social media, and start afresh. But I know that’s not realistic. I know I have to tether myself to “home”, as much as I disagree with the idea this place is truly home. I will say this, however-- there are parts of my experience here, and my life thus far, that have been wonderful. I’ve got a handful of genuinely fantastic friends, and I’ve forged some very important memories with them. To burn those bridges would be unforgivable, and I would never be able to do that to them. 
It’s 2:16am. I was already exhausted but I had to write this and get it all off my chest. But this is it-- me signing off, forever. Let this be a testament to everything I want to be, an will be, from here on out. 
-Ian.
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diveronarpg · 6 years
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Congratulations, RICCI! You’ve been accepted for the role of MACBETH. Admin Rosey:  How is it possible that you had me laughing and crying in the same breath? You went from “... he’s a sad, kinda pathetic, almost self-sabotaging man who can’t enjoy the fruits of his own cruel ambition” to describing him as a Scottom (please read the app to figure out what that is). But you didn’t stop there, no, you added a whole layer to his backround that had me grinning from ear to ear. There is no other person I could possibly trust more to take up our beloved Mikael and do him justice. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.
WELCOME TO THE MOB.
Out of Character Alias | Ricci
Age | Nineteen
Preferred Pronouns | she/ her
Activity Level | I don’t think I can be active everyday — I’m a super slow writer and am busy with college, but don’t doubt my ability to dedicate myself to a good RP. I won’t be on often, but I promise to be consistent, and I strive for quality whenever I do have the time to write. Overall, I’d say 6-7 out of 10 depending on my workload!
Timezone | GMT+8
Current/Past RP Accounts | wariest.tumblr.com & disquieters.tumblr.com
In Character Character
♚ Macbeth
What drew you to this character?
♚ Stage actors HATE him. Whenever I write men, one of my favourite aspects of their character is their relationship with masculinity, and I think I have Macbeth to blame for that, or at least partially. I’ve loved his story ever since I read it at fourteen, — and the questions that come with Macbeth’s tragic development are some I carry with when I write male characters, namely: what happens to men when you tie their worth to their masculinity, and what happens when society has tied masculinity to cruelty, violence, and power? I see Mikael as someone that could have been good, because at his core he knows what is right, but because of his insecurities, and because and the environment he grew up in, he ignores his conscience in favor of attaining power. I love morally grey characters. Macbeth isn’t a mustache twirling villain that revels in his own crimes, he’s a sad, kinda pathetic, almost self-sabotaging man who can’t enjoy the fruits of his own cruel ambition. He’s someone who is very aware of his own atrociousness and feels bad about it, but despite his guilt, never once strives toward self-improvement, and while that doesn’t make him wholly redeemable, self-awareness without change is an ugliness that’s jarringly recognizable, an ugliness that I want to explore further. His actions are so monstrous, but his motivations are so incredibly human.
What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character?
♚ SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES:  I want Mikael’s development to follow Macbeth’s and take him from mildness and reluctance to full-on ruthless ambition. I think part of the reason why Mikael has remained a soldier is because he has yet to prove he’s capable of real cruelty — his businesses make a lot of profit, but making money hasn’t quite tested his loyalty and how far he’s actually willing to go for the Capulets ( or for his own ambition ), and thus his morals have yet to be challenged. But his capacity for monstrosity is as immense as his capacity for greatness, and with unchecked ambition, he might abandon his conscience and soon become a more threatening player in the games. If an unhinged Macbeth can slaughter a man’s entire family, so can Mikael.
I think for now he’ll want to finally start doing more for the mob because with Alvise’s death, tensions are rising and soldiers like Mikael are expendable. Paranoia will drive him to want protection, for which Mikael will do horrifying acts to attain, and with every triumph, he’ll learn care less about loyalty and more about his own power and individual potential.
Mikael absolutely despises himself, and ambition he sets out to achieve exists because he thinks accomplishing goals would make him hate himself less. Except as his actions stain his conscience, the opposite happens, and with the extreme amounts of self-loathing he’ll soon possess, his mental health will deteriorate, making him increasingly erratic and unstable.
♚ SOUND AND FURY, SIGNIFYING NOTHING: Macbeth is a paradox — his constant attempts at chasing fulfillment only serve to make him feel emptier. In the same way, Mikael exists in a default state of hunger, so unused to being satisfied that he always finds something else to chase after once he attains what he originally wanted. Nothing he does can assuage the feeling of emptiness. After committing more and more atrocities he may come to the realization that he’s the problem — that perhaps nothing will ever make him happy. Once he gets everything he wants, I think he’ll resign to nihilism and come to terms with the meaninglessness of existence.
♚ THE INNOCENT FLOWER:  I want to see someone act as a sort of morality pet. Whether actively or by just being themselves, this character will remind Mikael of the existing good in him, and he will want to change for them. Of course, change, for Mikael, will be short-lived, because in the cutthroat world of mobster Verona, people might place less value on morality, and ultimately Mikael will keep choosing uglier paths to further his own ambitions. ♚ THE SERPENT UNDER’T: In the original text, Macbeth’s nihilistic outlook is finally revealed after Lady Macbeth dies, so perhaps, in this universe, Mikael truly sees no meaning in anything— except his wife. Though he won’t admit it, and maybe he doesn’t realize it, but he’s wholly dependent on her “love” to feel like life has value. Lucrezia is another one of Mikael’s attempts at chasing fulfillment; he thinks he’ll stop hating himself if he can get someone so unattainable to love him, which it why it maddens him that she doesn’t. He wants her with all the desperation of Arctic Monkeys song, but none of the dignity. He pours all of his devotion to her in hopes that he might get something in return, and though part of him understands that all his efforts are pathetic and fruitless, his desire for Lucrezia’s love and approval transcends all reason. Mikael constantly shaping himself into a man Lucrezia might like, or the man Lucrezia wants him to be.
At the same time, wanting Lucrezia is a testament to Mikael’s own masochism. Mikael is never satisfied, so in a twisted way, having someone who never gives in to what he wants is perfect for him, and it’s possibly why they’ve lasted so long. It’s apparent that he’s not enough for her, but he’ll never stop trying to be.
Their relationship is just so unhealthy and damaging on his end, and it’s mostly Mikael’s own  fault for putting her on a pedestal and placing so many expectations on her that he at least partially knows she’ll never fulfill. All I really want to explore is what lengths he’s willing to go to get her to stay, especially now that there’s a deeper wedge and newfound tensions between them with Lucrezia having been promoted to emissary. There are so many directions for their dysfunctional marriage to go and I’m willing to explore all the possibilities. He’s already ruined, but keep ruining him!
♚ MY BLACK AND DEEP DESIRES: The old-fashioned monogamist fool he is, Mikael has never considered cheating on his wife. Except things have changed now, and for as much as he denies it, his marriage is failing. He’s empty, and when he comes to terms with the fact that his wife may never really love him, he’ll find some other way to assuage his deep loneliness, stray to the path of infidelity and disrupt the dynamic the Falcos have, for years, maintained.
♚ THE WAY TO DUSTY DEATH ( trigger warnings: drug abuse ): Mikael’s fall is inevitable. It’s less question of if and more a question of how. Being as overworked as he is, and as desperate for fulfillment, and with his future actions potentially damaging his pysche,  Mikael is extremely susceptible to drug addiction. At the moment, he still carries much self-control, but in the future with his increasing nihilism and self-hatred he might just crumble — more so if someone finds that weakness and exploits it.
♚ BE BLOODY, BOLD, AND RESOLUTE: Being the absolute masochist he is, as a teenager and young adult, Mikael would frequent Measure for Measure for a taste of thrill and triumph. He frequents it less now that he’s older and married and working full time, but part of him still craves being in the ring. With all that stress and anger, who can blame him?
Are you comfortable with killing off your character?
♚ None of woman born shall harm Macbeth. ( Just kidding, yes, but it would be preferable to have someone born of C-section kill him just because it would be so FUNNY. )
In Depth
( trigger warnings: violence )
What is your favorite place in Verona?
Mikael knit his brows together. “What the hell is this for? Buzzfeed” Dark rings hung around tired eyes, which locked their gaze onto the journalist, betraying both exhaustion and annoyance. “When you told me this was for an article, I didn’t realize you were writing Top Ten Travel Destinations For the Overworked Italian,” he snapped, voice high and honeyed with derision. “Okay, edit that out. Try to make sure I don’t sound like a goddamn elementary student. I know I’m not Winston Churchill, but I can pay you good money to make me sound like I am. You’re a writer, you can do that, right?” A sigh escaped him. Mikael rested his elbows on the surface of his desk and hung his head low, thumbs massaging his temples. “I need coffee.”
What does your typical day look like?
“I get up,” he said, ripping open a sachet of Nescafe. “I jack myself stupid.” A surge of self-hatred shot through him as he poured hot water into the lid of his thermos. No sensible Italian would continue to respect Mikael if they discovered his liking to instant coffee, but single-handedly running a corporation left Mikael very little time for himself, much less time to brew himself his own cappuccino. Thus, begrudgingly, he took the sachet and dumped its content straight into the cup, but not before catching his own slip of tongue.
Mikael ran his hands through his hair, frustration simmering within. He sighed to himself. “Sorry, that was just the first thing that came into my head. I don’t know how to be alive before ten in the morning.” Dark eyes fell to the paperwork before him, and Mikael sighed, already resentful at the amount of work that needed to be done. Mikael set the thermos lid aside, barely noticing how it lay almost perilously close to the edge of his desk. “I go to the office, make some calls, keep track of the progress of my transactions, check Cawdor Industries’ stock market value, read some articles about bitcoin to try and understand what the in God’s name a blockchain is, make some more transactions, go home, jack myself stupid because satisfying primal human instincts is the only shriveled flower of joy remaining in life  — don’t put that in the article — and then I tell my wife I love her, and wait for her to not say it back.” For a second, his eyes gleamed with a silent sort of wistfulness, but as he locked his gaze onto the journalist’s, their usual deadness returned. “It’s our thing.”
What has been your biggest mistake thus far?
“Allowing myself to get ejected from the womb,” he deadpanned. “Everything’s gone a little downhill from there.”
Mistakes? Every day was a constant cycle of second-guessing and self-doubt. He’d couldn’t make a single decision without hindsight telling him he could have chosen a better path. Vacant eyes glanced over to the side of his desk, where Lucrezia’s photo sat, and Mikael’s heart rose to his throat. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful. I got to go to college. I made a name for myself. The business is booming, and I’m married. I have a wife, yes, she’s a real person, and yes, maybe it’s hard to believe but a human female woman took a look at me and agreed to live with my pathetic ass, and according to the law and what she said at the altar, she’s supposed to be in love with me. Sort of. So that’s going great. I’m grateful. I just don’t think I’m…” Happy.
Misfortune gripped the moment within a split second — as Mikael leaned over to reach for the photograph, his elbow struck the metal thermos and knocked it over, scalding water spilling from its mouth.  “SON OF A BITCH — ” Mikael rose from his seat, sending the swivel chair sliding outward, and as fury overtook him, his leg swung forward to kick the side of his desk, but as his foot collided with wood, the thermos lid toppled from the surface and spilt Mikael’s instant coffee onto his velvet office chair.
Almost all at once, his feature cycled through every existing expression, every existing emotion. Grief. Frustration. Resignation. Mikael palmed his forehead. “I’ll send you an email when my shit brain finds a better answer.”
What has been the most difficult task asked of you?
It was possible to believe that Mikael was as honest as he was crass. But his apparent tactlessness drew one’s attention away from much realer vulgarities: the truths Mikael kept within. Kneeling before his office chair, he took a wet rag and scrubbed at the stubborn coffee stain. Not meeting the journalist’s gaze, he mumbled, “Hell if I know.”
Everything was difficult. If anything worthwhile came easy, nothing would feel rewarding. The Falcos had clawed their way into the top, not resting for even a single second. And Cawdor Industries was born of their strife and struggle, but Mikael didn’t feel right merely inheriting it. No path felt valid if it hadn’t come with hardship; he moved mountains to turn the business what it was today. His parents gave him a kingdom. Mikael built an empire.
Except it had been thirty years and Mikael had yet to know what rewarding should have felt like. Every accomplishment only lent him a fleeting sense of triumph, and the satisfaction was quick to dissipate. What remained, instead, was poison. Cawdor Industries didn’t just design weapons — it sold them, less often legitimately than not, and most of the time, Mikael had turned a blind eye on all the casualties his business caused. Until he couldn’t.
Once, he could not recall how long ago, an anonymous sender delivered a video into Mikael’s inbox. It was apparent at first sight that it came from a protester, one that didn’t agree with Mikael’s line of work. At times, Mikael wished he had stopped himself from going further once that realization had been made, but curiosity was a hunger that begged to be sated.
“The most difficult task?” Mikael laughed, low and derisive. The video remained in his mind — the broken bodies of his weapons’ victims, lives destroyed for the business Mikael had worked to hard to build. He flung the rag, and it slammed hard against his desk. “Getting rid of this stain.”
What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues? Mikael was a soldier. Just a soldier. That meant even for all the profit he produced the Capulet family, he was not entitled to their protection, nor could he rely on it. If Mikael had a choice, he would leave them be.
But there were stronger forces at bay. Was it unreasonable to question an outsider’s motives when Mikael himself was being interrogated and probed? If it were, it hardly mattered. Distrust was his birthright. The Falcos found wealth, but they never lost the beggars’ nature. What they passed down to their son was more than riches; Mikael inherited his mother’s relentless hunger, and his father’s habit of sleeping with one eye open.
Mikael leaned forward, dark gaze locking into the journalist’s, eyes leering with quiet hostility. “That’s none of your business,” he said, low and furious. “Get out of my fucking office.”
In character para sample:
Lights illuminated the waters, the gold of the street gleaming bright against the black of the river Danube. Perhaps, once, Mikael would have said Budapest at night was the captivating sight he’d ever witnessed, but that was before he met Lucrezia. Mikael hardly believed in magic, but in this moment, he thought it perhaps it existed, and it was this moment, an undeserving man standing by a river under the stars, blessed enough to witness the best of God’s creations. It was a type of awe that nearly brought him down on his knees. He knelt, one hand scrounging his pocket for the ultimate sign of his devotion, the promise of surrender. “Lucrezia.” The softness with which he spoke her name betrayed how unworthy he felt of it, like he doubted it could ever belong to him. “I’m not good with words. I’m not good with a lot of things, and sometimes that makes me scared to try anything new.” His heart skittered against his ribs. You’re rambling. Stop wasting her time.  “And I don’t know if I’ll be good at this, at,” the words his lips wished to form felt so foreign to his tongue. “At loving you.” Mikael took Lucrezia’s hand and pressed it gently between a palm and closed fist. Every selfish ache surged through his body. Guilt followed, for the hunger of his heart could barely be restrained, and nothing of him was worthy of this, nothing of him deserved the light Lucrezia radiated. “But for the first time, I don’t think I’m scared to try. I want —” Mikael paused. What did it matter what he wanted? What right did he have to ask anything of her? “I want to be good to you. Please,” Mikael’s voice remained soft, slow, but all deep longing and desperation was evident in the way his words cracked through his throat. He unfolded his palm, and the ring resting on it caught the light of the moon. “Let me be good to you.”
Eyes fluttered open. His phone buzzed against the bedside table, and the jarring sound of its vibrations sent a wave of annoyance surging through Mikael’s skin. As the real world reformed around him, the dream-memory shattered, leaving a bittersweet taste in its wake.
Nothing much had changed. Same life, same woman, same relentless emptiness. Legs slid off the bed, and Mikael sat upright, palms on either side of him. With one slow, lethargic motion, his hand reached for the buzzing phone on his bedside table, the faint glow of its screen bright against his tired, barely woken eyes. His face contorted into a scowl upon reading his alarm label: WAKE UP YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT. Mikael groaned. He shut it off, slammed the thing lightly against the table, but as he turned away, his eyes caught sight of his wife’s sleeping figure. He looked at her, and his anger quieted.
The sheets had shifted when he woke himself, so Mikael pulled them over her body, willfully gentle as not to wake her. “I love you,” he said under his breath, and a certain sort of sadness consumed him. His heart rose to his throat. It ached with a stupid, childish fantasy: that if he said and breathed and lived those three words enough, he would one day deserve to hear them returned.  
Mikael did not blame Lucrezia for not wanting him. How could she? When he looked at the mirror, there was no part of himself that he did not despise. Men like him and the monster blood they carried — they were hard to love, hardly worthy of love. This was the routine he deserved: to every day pray that their hearts’ hunger be sated, to every day have their prayers met with suffocating silence.
If emotions governed people, what a tyrant love must have been.
Extras:
♚ Mock Blog: regicidios.tumblr.com
♚ Cawdor Industries is a mix of several businesses, namely transportation, construction, and weapons manufacturing, which are all a legitimate front for Mikael’s Dirty Mobster businesses: smuggling, money laundering, and arms trafficking. Like the capitalist pigs they are, they’re primarily concerned with making money and use their close connections with the Capulets for networking and intimidation purposes.
♚ I read a lot on Riz Ahmed before writing this app, and out of love for him I just want to respect his background as a second-generation immigrant and write Mikael as a second generation immigrant as well. Falco isn’t a Pakistani surname, so I headcanon that his parents had their blatantly Muslim Pakistani surname changed in order to be recognized with more legitimacy in the Italian business ( and mobster ) world. Isn’t their background a little like the immigrant narrative anyway? People who came from nothing build themselves a better future with nothing but unbridled ambition and determination to forge a better life for their children. And of course, they’re typical Parents Of Colour, who constantly remind their child of how much they’d sacrificed as a way of saying: you owe us. That, and the generational gap between them, with Mikael no longer being familiar with Pakistani customs and traditions as a result of growing up in Diverse-But-Decidedly-Not-South-Asian Verona, drive a wedge between Mikael and his parents, and them not fully connecting is one of the many contributing factors to Mikael’s decision to send them away.
♚ This is me rambling but maybe a crass, clinically-depressed, overworked, caffeine-addicted hopeless ‘romantic’ nihilist-in-the-making is a little far off from how you originally envisioned Mikael but I’m going to stand by my portrayal because I firmly believe that the Thane of Cawdor Who Shall be King Hereafter is whatever the hell the polar opposite of Big Dick Energy is and m a n  he’s literature’s finest and funniest example of just how AWFUL toxic masculinity can get… I mean there’s an actual scene where Lady M tells her MacBitch he sucks at sex and then Macbeth proceeds to go on a murder-regicide rampage for four whole acts to redeem his manhood,  do you think someone that insecure will ever have the cool, self-assured swagger of ( the disgustingand horrible ) Michael Fassbender of Macbeth 2015 dir Justin Kurzel? No! Riz Ahmed is the love of my life but all his resources have him look like he’s either paranoid or dead inside or both, which is perfect, because that’s just quintessential Macbeth, everyone’s favourite Scottom ( Scottish Bottom ).
♚ That all aside, he’s an irredeemable bastard and I love him, please take us both.
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laughingpinecone · 4 years
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Chocobox 2020 letter!
I am laughingpineapple on AO3
It’s a long list of character combos so the specific requests aren’t overly detailed, please draw at will from my general likes and general fandom likes in addition or as an alternative to any of those!
All requests are art or fic - for art, the stuff I like is the kind that depicts the characters doing something. I’ll always be happier with a very simple drawing of two characters walking together or sharing a cup of coffee than with an ambitious composition that looks like an Avengers poster. I also enjoy seeing them wear different clothes, getting a feel of what their fashion sense is like beyond their canon outfit(s).
Likes: worldbuilding, slice of life (especially if the event the fic focuses on is made up but canon-specific), missing moments, 5+1 and similar formats, bonding and emotional support/intimacy, physical intimacy, lingering touches, loyalty, casefic, surrealism, magical realism, established relationships, future fic, hurt/comfort or just comfort from the ample canon hurt, throwing characters into non-canon environments, banter, functional relationships between dysfunctional individuals, unexplained mysteries, bittersweet moods, journal/epistolary fic, dreams and memories and identities, canon-adjacent tropey plots, outsider POV, UST, resolved UST, exploration of secondary bits of canon, leaning on the uniqueness of the canon setting/mood, found families, characters reuniting after a long and/or harrowing time, friends-to-lovers, road trips, maps, mutual pining, cuddling, wintry moods, the feeling of flannel and other fabrics, ridiculous concepts played straight, sensory details, sickfic, places being haunted, people being haunted, the mystery of the woods, small hopes in bleak worlds, electricity, places that don’t quite add up, mismatched memories, caves and deep places, distant city lights at night, emphasis on non-human traits of non-human characters (gen-wise, but also a hearty yes xeno for applicable ships)
Cool with: any tense, any pov, any rating, plotty, not plotty, IF, nerdy canon references, unrequested characters popping up
DNW: non-canonical rape, non-canonical children, focus on children, unrequested ships (background established canon couples are okay, mentions of parents are okay), canon retellings, consent issues
Ghost Trick
I am very interested in various characters finding about the erased timeline, but not getting their memories back, and having to live with being told about what they did but never remembering it. Exploring the ghost lore is great. All what-ifs welcome (what if they managed an acceptable happy ending but didn’t reset the timeline, what if a different party went back to the past and kept their memories, what if Alma’s ghost stuck around…) Also open to AUs here, especially for generic fantasy or sci-fi settings or the Final Fantasy ones I prompted last Yuletide .
For the non-canon sides of Jowd/Alma/Cabanela, please no infidelity? I’d be good with either setting the fic during the game timeline or some what-if thereof when the other spouse is dead or unavailable, or simply keeping them offscreen and not mentioning them (eg Alma/Cabanela beach day, Jowd/Cabanela precinct shenanigans)
For Jowd in general, I do love my big boy and enjoy milking that size difference for all it’s worth. In gen contexts too, it’s neat. him big.
Alma/Jowd & Cabanela: Sleepover time! In whose house and why? What’s a Best Friend (tm) thing to do?
Alma & Cabanela: what’s a moment just for them, how are they aligned? How are they both changed by the tale of the other timeline?
Alma/Cabanela: ghost Alma joins up with Cabanela! ...and doesn’t remember the details of her murder or it’s gonna be a very short investigation, but anyway. Bittersweet ghost romance?
Alma/Cabanela/Jowd: please give me a completely smitten Cabs who spent so long pining and can’t believe it’s happening for real (even if it’s been happening for like, two months already?)
Alma/Jowd: how’d Jowd’s strength come in useful that one time?
Alma & Sissel: plot twist, she saves him. Did he misplace his body? Miscalculate some core jump?
Cabanela & Bailey: unexpected dance partners? Cabanela is harsh toward his subordinates but maybe not so much outside work?
Cabanela & Memry: extremely unconventional mentor & pupil let loose on the town like two horrible geese
Cabanela & Missile: what will get these two exhausted?
Cabanela & Jowd: all the devotion, please! Maybe coming from Jowd as well for a change
Cabanela & Pigeon Man: new timeline friendship? PM is a magnificent Cabanela wrangler, I think, reining in the whitecoat excesses...
Cabanela & Sissel: out-noiring each other, Sissel having the time of his life following Cabanela in an investigation
Cabanela/Jowd: hurried confessions outside the prison? Jowd figuring out he reciprocates right then and there or later on? How much later? What’s his favorite thing about Cabanela and vice versa?
Jowd & Emma: I don’t want to undercut her idealism and sound moral principles in doing what she did simply to take a stand against the death penalty, but did they know each other maybe? Or does Jowd reach out afterwards, curious about this woman? ...do they collab?
Jowd & Pigeon Man: I wanna see how they get along... a tiny snippet of a case? What Are Pigeons If Not Small Chickens After All?
Jowd & Yomiel & Sissel: Sissel has two dads. That’s just how it is.
Jowd & Yomiel: Postcanon bonding with total human disaster Yomiel leaning on Jowd like a cat and Jowd being also a human disaster but like more dad-shaped?
Kamila & Pigeon Man: (overriding the “focus on children” DNW) adopted uncle doubles as science mentor!
Kentucky Route Zero
(Should Act V come out between the end of nominations and reveals, I’ll be playing it immediately and I’ll probably add a few thoughts and prompts here for kicks, at the end of this section, after a spoiler warning. Obviously feel free to stick to canon up to Un Pueblo De Nada regardless.)
I’m all for exploration of any of the game’s themes and for including any staples from adjacent genres - wanna go full-on American Gothic? Dip into surrealism? Take a leaf from Twin Peaks with tulpa / split narratives to explore the characters’ issues? I generally love AUs so if you want to sidestep the inconvenience of an incomplete canon that way, be my guest! Or of course there’s Xanadu at the height of its glory, an infinite what-ifs generator. Were the requested characters part of it, what were their digital counterparts up to? A Xanadu narrative would be great! I’d also love to hear about any new spot along the Zero or the Echo river, or an expansion of some place that’s only mentioned by Will in HATATE or only gets a few paragraphs of text. Lula getting ideas for a new installation, or an article talking about her work? Donald listening to Static between stations somehow (Donald being constantly high as a kite as per this)? Joseph who went back to the surface finds himself near an entrance to the Zero somewhere? A collection of Weaver-isms? Sad surreal bureaucracy? Feel free to bring in anyone else from any part of canon.
Cate & Will: a small, chill adventure on a new island? Extensive mushroom lore?
Joseph Wheattree/Lula Chamberlain/Donald: the disaster concave love polygon in all its glorious doom... does even Xanadu contain a single hope for them? I’m fascinated by alternative developments in which they all stayed underground and explored further, sprinkled with subterranean symbolism at will
Junebug & Lula Chamberlain: something something art! Something something we live in a society, too. Idk I’m intrigued by their strong personalities and how they might clash, Junebug’s abrasiveness and Lula’s resigned bitterness
Weaver Márquez & Donald: she was down there! They are both very bizarre individuals! How’d that go!
Will & Donald: ...conversely, as far as we know Will was not down there but Will knows everyone. So how’d they get to know each other? What’s the Bureau of Secret Tourism’s take on the Hall of the Mountain King?
Pyre
The burning found family feelings, the revolutionary passion, the tension between topside social constraints and the kind of freedom allowed by the Downside! I love all the themes, the solemnity, the heart of this game. I adore everyone in that Blackwagon+Dalbert+Celeste, so if you want to add a Nightwing or two to any prompt, please do! I also love all the Scribes and find Erisa a compelling tragic figure, while out of the other triumvirates, I’m “love to hate them” for Manley, Brighton, Udmildhe and Deluge and would not like to see them featured in sympathetic roles. My main interest usually lies in post-canon exploration when applicable, but I’m also into various adventures during canon. Pick a location or a place outside the map and see what happens? As for the ending variables, I’d ask for a peaceful revolution and Oralech alive, but no preferences on who’s up or down, pick whatever works best for any given plot bunny.
Big Bertrude & Volfred Sandalwood: “people who were close in the Commonwealth find each other in the Downside” is always a gr8 thing to explore and I’d love it for them! Epistolary friendship if they end up separated?
Big Bertrude/Pamitha Theyn: sneaky, reserved kindred spirits. Their shared ending is great and I’d love to see it expanded. Bertrude’s attitude being thorny in a way that’s just what Pam needs to allow herself to open up... also: snake kisses.
Celeste | The Gate Guardian & Oralech: he let him through when the  and they waited for the Nightwings... did they exchange a few words there? Or do they meet again somehow, in the Union or among the stars?
Celeste | The Gate Guardian & Sandra the Unseeing & Tariq | The Lone Minstrel: the three people who were there when the Scribes walked the earth and who have opposite opinions on the matter. I’d like to see their views clash, either when they were young or during game events
Molten Milithe & The Vagabond Girl: I imagine ae (I called her Tae but no strong feelings on this front) might have different relationships with the different Scribes, so what’s the one with the Wild Witch? What was she going through at a time when she felt her close?
Oralech & Big Bertrude: Bertrude’s protectiveness toward Volfred could be fun to explore here, both in the old Nightwings’ time and postcanon. Volfred aside, they’re a baby revolutionary and a grizzled agitator, which sounds like fun!
Oralech & Pamitha Theyn: idk I just want to throw Oralech at various Nightwings and see if he can make some friends. He and Pam look complicated enough to stand each other.
Oralech/Volfred Sandalwood: I am mainly interested in postcanon reunion, or postcanon established relationship. Getting to know each other again. Oralech figuring out that Volfred’s puffing up in formal meetings because he’s super nervous about all these responsibilities. Seeing what their dream looks like
Oralech/Volfred Sandalwood/Tariq | The Lone Minstrel: Volfred has two hands, and sometimes miracles happen twice? How do they balance each other, what’s the Oralech/Tariq side like and what’s Volfred’s perspective on it? Is Tariq a constant part of their lives or does he fade in and out?
Pamitha Theyn & Ti'zo: flying buddies! He’s a simple soul and she is very much not, but he’s also ancient and has seen heartbreak like hers over and over...
Rukey Greentail & Volfred Sandalwood: on pragmatism. I feel like these two could come to a mutual understanding in their own way.
Oralech & Sir Gilman: is there any way that this won’t end in a demonstration on how to perform a nautical knot with a wyrm?
Tariq & Ti'zo: the great gossiping duo. All the juciest skreeches. There are also a few occasions when Tariq says something about the imps while he blatantly means himself, and I’d like to know what Ti’zo thinks of this projection.
Tariq | The Lone Minstrel & Big Bertrude: he knows how to handle her, and she should know how to appreciate a slightly eldritch creation (?) of the Scribes...
Volfred Sandalwood & Hedwyn: in Oralech’s own words to Hedwyn, Volfred probably picked Hedwyn as an Oralech replacement. Does this change Hedwyn’s opinions on Volfred and the plan? Was it a conscious choice on Volfred’s part? Or how do they get along in general?
Volfred Sandalwood/Tariq | The Lone Minstrel: “both think the other is the bee’s knees and possibly out of their league” is catnip to me. I’d say it’s understandable from Volfred while Tariq is just super smitten (and struggling with his own sense of identity and desires, sure. but also smitten). So I think it’d be fun for Volfred to be somewhat out of his depth for once and try to be close to/console Tariq for whatever reason?
The Last Remnant
I’m very interested in post-game exploration, and getting a clearer feeling of any of the cities and assorted places that populate this fascinating world. I like the whole party with their characterization based on battle quotes, red bubble dialogues, and even their unique stat (‘authority’ is a natural fit for David but ‘romance’ tells me something new about Sibal!) Character interaction. Bit of worldbuilding. What’s another festival they celebrate? Do they erect something else instead of the Valeria Heart? Any fun discoveries down in Siebenbur? Where the hell IS Veyriel, anyway, do they go look for it and if so what do they find out? End of an age. Old bonds.
David Nassau & Torgal & Allan: catfight with mediator. Torgal has two h... Torgal has four hands actually and I’m very interested in his very positive relationship with David and his disastrous one with Allan. It’d be fun if these two aspects of his life came together, like a platonic V
Emmy Honeywell & Pagus: Emmy just ended up short a parental figure and the oldest and chillest of the four generals is right there?
Pagus/Maddox/Sibal: give me all the Qsiti worldbuilding, Siebenbur worldbuilding, Remnant daydreaming, shared backstory, old men reunions after the ending…
Twin Peaks
Case fic but they don’t find out jack shit, someone disappears, David Bowie was there, it’s complicated. Fragmented, shifted, mirrored identities. New Lodge spaces. The risks of staring into the void for too long. Gentle illusions. Transcendence. The moon. Static buzzing. Any title from the s3 ethereal whooshing compilation used as a prompt, actually. Twin Peaks is all about the mystery to me, the awe of mystery and unknowability and the human drive to look beyond and the risks of getting a peek, and about shared consciousness and trauma taking physical form in an uncaring world. Go wild with the ethereal whooshing! But I also love the human warmth at the heart of it all, and sometimes it’s enough to anchor these characters and let them have a nice day. A fic entirely focused on some instance of coziness against the cold chaotic background of canon would be great too.
Canon-specific DNWs: any singular Dreamer being the ‘source’ of canon, BOB (let alone Judy) being forever defeated in the finale, Judy being an active malevolent presence in the characters’ lives, clear explanations for canonical ambiguities, ‘Odessaverse’ being the reality layer, the Fireman’s House by the Sea being the White Lodge, anything that 4 hours Twin Perfect video says is the explanation of Twin Peaks
Albert Rosenfield & Constance Talbot: city mouse and country mouse? What’s their long-distance friendship like and what’s an occasion for them to meet? What’s her position in the symbolic spread of blue rose and blue rose-adjacent disasters/hopes for the future?
Audrey Horne & Diane Evans: Weird postcanon encounters? Can Diane lend a hand when Coop most certainly could not? They are hardened in different ways; we know Audrey has a precious dreaminess underneath that mess, what about Diane?
Chet Desmond & Albert Rosenfield: punchy&pacifist sounds like a recipe for disaster but their directness makes me think that they’d get along great?
Chet Desmond/Sam Stanley: reunion fic! Chet’s been AWOL for years, Sam has fallen through the cracks, how do they find each other again and why do they choose to remain off the grid? I would also like to read about them in the present day-ish, handwaving the return and reunion. Maybe they made a new life for themselves. If Sutherland were to play Sam again, Sam would be… notably more buff. What caused that change, was it traveling with Chet, what kind of person is he now? Could they be in Buenos Aires, investigating on their own whatever that shrinking box was?
Constance Talbot/Diane Evans: when the show was airing we used to joke that the various plots converging on Buckhorn were actually a race to woo the absolute jewel that is Constance. Cynthia got there first but Diane knows how to flirt! We have a whole week and a whole town...
Cynthia Knox/Tamara "Tammy" Preston: the FBI and USAF supernatural branches meet again after Douglas Milford’s times... what’s their attitude toward it (who’s the Mulder and who’s the Scully......), in what ways does their respective task force’s past inform their views, is there more hope for a new generation who saw the trauma of the past without living it firsthand? LET TAMMY KISS ALL THE GIRLS BUT THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR
Dale Cooper/Albert Rosenfield: fiery early days? Dream meetings that Albert will inevitably write off as a product of his aching subconscious? Post-finale where Albert has made his peace with Coop not being part of this world and not even deigning to greet him, except one day Coop is back - with apologies? Post-post-finale where they’re peacefully living out their days as best as they can?
Dale Cooper/Harry Truman: Harry seeing his Coop again… somewhere, somehow. Maybe he perceives him in the woods, maybe Coop isn’t all human now. Monster cuddles very welcome. Could be canon divergence but could very well be post-s3. Harry getting closure for waiting all that time in front of Glastonbury and never giving up on Coop… they can live in the woods together…
Albert Rosenfield/Harry Truman: did they tragically fall into each other’s arms in the wake of Coop’s disappearance? Did they realize they’re so good for each other, but neither of them was willing to give up their life? And/or was the wound of Coop’s disappearance too fresh for them to try to heal? Do they keep in touch throughout the years? Does Albert resign on the spot with a resounding fuck it after the s3 finale and rush to see Harry? Does he stay this time?
Dale Cooper/Albert Rosenfield/Harry Truman: basically the sum of the three sides of this triad… give them peace, given them nice things, give them so much love… Coop finding his place in the world and making up for lost time… give time to these old wounds…
Diane Evans & Albert Rosenfield: any ol’ night drinking together, or ending up in some liminal place much to Albert’s chagrin (and Diane’s as well...?)? I just love their bond and want to see more of it. At any point during their shared history and even after the finale!
Donna Hayward & Audrey Horne: the half sisters meeting again please? And finding a new balance between them, different from what it would’ve been when they were young when they never got a chance to discover it...
Gordon Cole/Phillip Jeffries: does Gordon eventually manage to throw himself into the void (that’s one way of considering a retirement plan!) and reach Phillip? What’s left inside that teapot alembic, or is he the smoke? How did Gordon even get word from Phil - in his pt17 infodump, he seems perfectly aware of the other’s status - what kind of contact have they kept? I love all the fanon I’ve seen for them, if you want to lean into it.
Harry Truman & Chet Desmond: I don’t know how, I just know that it needs to happen to see how they’d bounce off each other. Chet got the short straw with Cable and Deer Meadow in general; Harry just likes them fancy agents...
Lucy Moran & Albert Rosenfield: this. This is the ultimate recipe for disaster. How can it turn out less-than-horrible for everyone involved? Especially with young Albert?
Tamara "Tammy" Preston & Albert Rosenfield: wlw mlm solidarity? He used to be the one pulling all-nighters finding needles in haystacks, now it’s her job; is technology helping? Does she eventually get the full weight of what tulpa Diane and shooting tulpa Diane meant to him? What’s the latest Gordon gossip? What do they do for fun?
Tamara "Tammy" Preston & Dale Cooper: she roasted him for two dossiers in a row and looked characteristically unimpressed in pt17; conversely, the narrative may or may not have positioned her as ‘the new Cooper’. Idk I just want them to meet somehow and feel the passing of the torch...
Tamara "Tammy" Preston & Margaret "The Log Lady" Lanterman: the lady said in TFD she would’ve liked to meet Margaret and I operate on a strict “give Tammy what she wants” policy, details schmetails. There are places in this world and others where the passing of time is at best a vague suggestion, so.
Wally Brando & Harry Truman: Wally visiting his godfather, whom he deeply respects! Frank wasn’t quite on board with Wally’s whole thing but what does Harry think of it?
Wally Brando & Laura Palmer & Dale Cooper: I have a soft spot for Dale and Laura traveling through strange spaces, lost, slowly healing. On this background, imagine, if you will: Wally speeding by on his bike. I need this meeting…
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fuckyeahincubus · 7 years
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Kerrang! (UK) - 3 May 2017
And Incubus are reborn
BRANDON BOYD AND INCUBUS WERE ONCE TWO OF THE BIGGEST NAMES IN ROCK. THEN CAME THE FALL. IAN WINWOOD MEETS A MAN REBORN…
Brandon Boyd is a 41-year-old rockstar that does impressions of wild animals. Pouring himself a glass of chilled still water in the library of London’s tastefully opulent Soho Hotel, he reveals that from the windows of his home in the Greater Los Angeles Area at night he can hear the calls of peacocks.asked by this perfect stranger at barely noon on a Monday what the call of a peacock sounds like, Brandon says, well, it sounds like this, and he makes a kind of ‘aw aw aw’ sound, hard on the ‘a’s.It’s unusual for a rockstar to start an interview with wildlife impressions, he’s told. He says he can do the crowing of a rooster, too, and duly does.the impression is rendered with such enthusiasm that a blind person might think it the real thing.
“Tragically, I’m the one person in my band that is single,” he says.When the members of Incubus gathered together in Los Angeles at the end of 2012, it is unlikely that the group’s highly-photogenic frontman regaled his colleagues with impersonations of flightless birds.the band that formed 26 years ago in Calabasas, California, and who over the course of seven albums that had found their way into the homes of 23 million listeners and defined the innovations of late 20th century rock music – few guitar solos, turntablists, that kind of thing – as well as any, and with more brains than most, were knackered.they’d spent 18 months touring the frankly awful, 1K-rated If Not Now,when? album, over the course of which they’d somehow lost the capacity to communicate.“it was at this point where we were as dysfunctional as we’ve ever been,” says the singer. Drugs had played a part in the emotional breakdown,“nothing major like heroin”, rather “just a couple of guys who weren’t making the smartest decisions”.On the subject of decisions, Incubus had their own to make: whether to stick or bust.“Being in a band is really quite difficult,” Brandon says.“it’s a family, and how successfully it works is really dependent on the players involved…
[In LA] we had an emotional showdown of sorts, where we did finally begin to communicate. But we communicated things really poorly. Everyone was completely exhausted and scared and frustrated; it was also the end of a really long relationship with our record company [Epic]. It could very easily have been the end of the group. It was one of those moments where if cooler heads had not prevailed, it could have been the end of us.”Had you at all reconciled yourself to the fact that it might be over?“There was that moment where I thought,‘has this run its course?’” Brandon says.“having the wherewithal to know that it’s time to walk away from this, that’s the hardest thing. So I was thinking about it, and I wasn’t even sure if singing was something that I wanted to keep doing, although it only took me about a weekend to realise that I did.as challenging as it is, there’s too much joy in music to walk away from it, although I was thinking of doing it on a much smaller scale. But music is such a wonderful accompaniment to life
In the pursuit of getting their shit together, Incubus focused.along with guitarist and co-songwriter Mike Einziger, Brandon rented a bungalow in Venice Beach, where each morning the pair would meet, drink coffee and sit across a table discussing the news of the day and events in each other’s lives.they were, if you like, learning how to be friends again. Soon enough these conversations turned into songs, basic structures that were centred around only a piano or a guitar. One year later these embryonic creations have incubated into the band’s eighth album, helpfully titled 8, mixed by Skrillex and released last week. It is the best Incubus record for a number of years.“People ask,‘where have you guys been?’ when of course the answer is that we’ve been here all the time,” says Brandon.“i know on If Not Now,when? we lost a lot of what you called our ‘core constituents’, but while that album wasn’t something they wanted to hear, it was something that we needed to do. We’re always going to make albums that are honest portrayals of who we are.we’re not fakers, we’re not panderers; we won’t make music for people because it’s what we think they want to hear.“But people seem to be responding to what they’ve heard from [8] because it’s…” he begins to search for the word… Heavier? “Yeah.
”Brandon Boyd recently read two things about himself.the first is that he and his wife, who he doesn’t have, are about to have a baby.the second is that he is the highest-paid singer in all of rock’n’roll. That last one, especially, made him laugh. But what this irksomely handsome bachelor who lives alone save for a cat and a dog does have is a degree of equilibrium as a singer of a band that has been together for more than a quarter of a century in a business that encourages and even necessitates a state of perpetual adolescence.today he scores Incubus’ rate of functionality at “between eight-anda-half and nine out of 10”, whereas a little over four years ago, it was just two. He believes relationships are cyclical and so realises that there is a “high probability” that the problems that beset his band in 2012 will come back to haunt them.Last time the problems were addressed by the band’s members taking the piss out of each other – nicely, like – instead of scolding each other or talking things out directly or rationally, as other human beings might. But as strange as this sounds, Incubus did learn something from what today Brandon describes as his band’s “dark night of the soul”.“It turned out that we love each other, and that there are many things that we want to accomplish together.” Does this feel like a rebirth? “It does, yes, very much so. Some of those feelings have been overwhelming. It does feel like we’re reborn.“It feels brand-new again.
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myincubusupdate · 7 years
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@brandonboyd @incubusofficial #kerrang #incubus #brandonboyd Kerrang! (UK) - 3 May 2017 And Incubus are reborn BRANDON BOYD AND INCUBUS WERE ONCE TWO OF THE BIGGEST NAMES IN ROCK. THEN CAME THE FALL. IAN WINWOOD MEETS A MAN REBORN… Brandon Boyd is a 41-year-old rockstar that does impressions of wild animals. Pouring himself a glass of chilled still water in the library of London’s tastefully opulent Soho Hotel, he reveals that from the windows of his home in the Greater Los Angeles Area at night he can hear the calls of peacocks.asked by this perfect stranger at barely noon on a Monday what the call of a peacock sounds like, Brandon says, well, it sounds like this, and he makes a kind of ‘aw aw aw’ sound, hard on the ‘a’s.It’s unusual for a rockstar to start an interview with wildlife impressions, he’s told. He says he can do the crowing of a rooster, too, and duly does.the impression is rendered with such enthusiasm that a blind person might think it the real thing. “Tragically, I’m the one person in my band that is single,” he says.When the members of Incubus gathered together in Los Angeles at the end of 2012, it is unlikely that the group’s highly-photogenic frontman regaled his colleagues with impersonations of flightless birds.the band that formed 26 years ago in Calabasas, California, and who over the course of seven albums that had found their way into the homes of 23 million listeners and defined the innovations of late 20th century rock music – few guitar solos, turntablists, that kind of thing – as well as any, and with more brains than most, were knackered.they’d spent 18 months touring the frankly awful, 1K-rated If Not Now,when? album, over the course of which they’d somehow lost the capacity to communicate.“it was at this point where we were as dysfunctional as we’ve ever been,” says the singer. Drugs had played a part in the emotional breakdown,“nothing major like heroin”, rather “just a couple of guys who weren’t making the smartest decisions”.On the subject of decisions, Incubus had their own to make: whether to stick or bust.“Being in a band is really quite difficult,” Brandon says.“it’s a family, and how successfully it works is really dependent on the players involved… [In LA] we had an emotional showdown of sorts, where we did finally begin to communicate. But we communicated things really poorly. Everyone was completely exhausted and scared and frustrated; it was also the end of a really long relationship with our record company [Epic]. It could very easily have been the end of the group. It was one of those moments where if cooler heads had not prevailed, it could have been the end of us.”Had you at all reconciled yourself to the fact that it might be over?“There was that moment where I thought,‘has this run its course?’” Brandon says.“having the wherewithal to know that it’s time to walk away from this, that’s the hardest thing. So I was thinking about it, and I wasn’t even sure if singing was something that I wanted to keep doing, although it only took me about a weekend to realise that I did.as challenging as it is, there’s too much joy in music to walk away from it, although I was thinking of doing it on a much smaller scale. But music is such a wonderful accompaniment to life In the pursuit of getting their shit together, Incubus focused.along with guitarist and co-songwriter Mike Einziger, Brandon rented a bungalow in Venice Beach, where each morning the pair would meet, drink coffee and sit across a table discussing the news of the day and events in each other’s lives.they were, if you like, learning how to be friends again. Soon enough these conversations turned into songs, basic structures that were centred around only a piano or a guitar. One year later these embryonic creations have incubated into the band’s eighth album, helpfully titled 8, mixed by Skrillex and released last week. It is the best Incubus record for a number of years.“People ask,‘where have you guys been?’ when of course the answer is that we’ve been here all the time,” says Brandon.“i know on If Not Now,when? we lost a lot of what you called our ‘core constituents’, but while that album wasn’t something they wanted to hear, it was something that we needed to do. We’re always going to make albums that are honest portrayals of who we are.we’re not fakers, we’re not panderers; we won’t make music for people because it’s what we think they want to hear.“But people seem to be responding to what they’ve heard from [8] because it’s…” he begins to search for the word… Heavier? “Yeah. ”Brandon Boyd recently read two things about himself.the first is that he and his wife, who he doesn’t have, are about to have a baby.the second is that he is the highest-paid singer in all of rock’n’roll. That last one, especially, made him laugh. But what this irksomely handsome bachelor who lives alone save for a cat and a dog does have is a degree of equilibrium as a singer of a band that has been together for more than a quarter of a century in a business that encourages and even necessitates a state of perpetual adolescence.today he scores Incubus’ rate of functionality at “between eight-anda-half and nine out of 10”, whereas a little over four years ago, it was just two. He believes relationships are cyclical and so realises that there is a “high probability” that the problems that beset his band in 2012 will come back to haunt them.Last time the problems were addressed by the band’s members taking the piss out of each other – nicely, like – instead of scolding each other or talking things out directly or rationally, as other human beings might. But as strange as this sounds, Incubus did learn something from what today Brandon describes as his band’s “dark night of the soul”.“It turned out that we love each other, and that there are many things that we want to accomplish together.” Does this feel like a rebirth? “It does, yes, very much so. Some of those feelings have been overwhelming. It does feel like we’re reborn.“It feels brand-new again. http://www.pressreader.com/uk/kerrang-uk/20170503/281728384421399
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feynites · 7 years
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"Most tragic loves are " that being said, do you think LG Lavellan/Solas is an unhealthy relationship? What, with her feeling like she's responsible for failing to save him and everything? What about cannon Solavellan?
Yeah, as it stands in both canon and LG, it is. It’s not the kind of relationship that would have to be unhealthy, like, it’s not the result of the two of them (at least, not how I characterize them) being inherently bad for one another. And to some extent this interpretation is going to depend on what people consider ‘unhealthy’ to look like. It’s not an abusive relationship, I don’t think - they come into conflict in LG’s backstory and there are decent odds of that happening in canon, too, but it’s heavily complicated by extenuating circumstances. 
I do think it’s unhealthy, though, because of the information which Solas holds back, and the way it all plays out. Lavellan at least knows that he’s reluctant to have a relationship with her, and for reasons he’s not really disclosing, so he’s more keeping secrets than he is deceiving her. But those secrets are big, and at the end it leaves them both in very untenable positions, heartbroken and devastated. You can make a case for Solas having been better off knowing Lavellan, but I don’t think you can really argue the reverse (even if Lavellan doesn’t regret it). His actions have disrupted her life in massively negative ways, and based on what we’ve seen so far, he seems set to continue that trend.
And Lavellan - mine, anyway - absolutely keeps her own torch lit for him, despite the many times he encourages her to move on. Currently, neither of them are exactly thriving off of their romance.
However, they could be, and that’s usually what keeps me from considering the whole thing a wash of sorts. I don’t think we’ve seen enough of Varric and Bianca for me to really say whether or not they’d be very happy together, if circumstances were different. What are they like together when they’re actually a couple? We’ve never seen it. But Solas and Lavellan are a pretty good couple, when they’re just being people and not figureheads. They communicate well, and grow from one another’s influence, and are pretty good at helping one another with their respective traumas.
One of the tricky things about classifying relationships, both real and fictional, is that unhealthy behaviours are part of human existence. The trouble is that often we’re either told that we need to be noble and work through them, or else we’re told that we need to just cut and run in order to minimize the damage. And each approach has its negative labels. Cut and run? You’re fickle and not there for someone when they need you. Fight for it? You’re a co-dependent joke who needs to liberate yourself. But most relationships exist in the nebulous grey area of human imperfection, and people with different dispositions are going to have boundaries and hard limits in different places. Some unhealthy relationships can be worked through and fixed and successfully repaired. Some can’t. 
I like to think solavellan is a type with the potential to be repaired into something very good for both Solas and Lavellan. So while I would currently classify it as unhealthy, I don’t think the dysfunction is at the core of their relationship, either.
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aion-rsa · 4 years
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Lucifer Season 5 Episode 2 Review: Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucifer!
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This Lucifer review contains spoilers. We have a spoiler-free review here if you prefer.
“You are different, but sometimes change is a good thing.”
Though I’m generally not a fan of the doppelganger as a primary plot device, Lucifer takes a risk and trots out our titular hero’s twin brother in a story that gives the detective a chance to solve a case and pave the way for a welcome return to the status quo. The murder investigation takes a back seat to a crime of the heart perpetuated by the archangel Michael, but “Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucifer!” still puts Chloe at the center of this latest challenge and provides a solid bridge toward developing her burgeoning, yet seemingly ill-fated relationship with the Devil.
Tom Ellis gets to spread his acting wings literally and figuratively here, and while his American accent falls a bit flat, that certainly can be attributed to the director’s vision of Michael’s second rate status when compared to his infinitely more well known sibling. It’s a nice touch to have Michael employ fear rather than desire as his celestial superpower, and it’s particularly meaningful when we combine his conversation with Linda and the 1994 Polaroid of her holding a baby. To this point we’ve interpreted her approach to raising Charlie as that of a typical 21st century helicopter parent, but now it appears there may be a much darker reason for her actions.
Lucifer explains to Chloe in the season premiere that time has passed much more slowly for him during his stay in the underworld, so it at first seems understandably natural that it might take some time for him to reorient himself with his former life in Los Angeles. Like Chloe, we excuse the little white lies as simply the “new Lucifer,” since his inability to lie has been one of the fundamental ironies and delights of his character. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen Dan and his pudding, and when we observe Chloe’s ex puzzle over Lucifer’s compliments and the offer of Dan’s favorite snack, it ignites a spark of recognition that this is not really Lucifer. 
Watching a naked Lucifer preen and practice in front of a full length mirror should be enough to set off our devil-sense, but after the previous episode’s uncertain ending, the possibility that it might take Lucifer some time to adjust after thousands of years in Hell seems a reasonable assumption. Nevertheless, it doesn’t take long to see that this is yet another chapter in the celestial family’s dysfunctional existence, and it will be up to Chloe and the gang to unmask this jealous imposter. Once Mazikeen discovers Michael’s truth, the fundamental question centers around how long it will take the detective to decipher the clues.
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Lucifer Season 5 Part 1 Review (Spoiler-Free)
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We’ve watched Dan take the first steps toward rebuilding his life after Charlotte’s tragic death, but life just refuses to cooperate when it comes to Maze and her personal relationships. After Chloe cuts her loose as a partner, it’s not at all surprising to watch her assist Michael in his plan to ruin Lucifer and Chloe’s lives and their relationship. She feels abandoned and mistreated by both. But then, despite the emotional pain she bears, Maze reveals a core value system that refuses to allow Michael to steal the purity that still exists between the Devil and the detective. We don’t know how long Chloe’s has known that Michael isn’t Lucifer, but that doesn’t matter; Mazikeen’s willingness to put her own hurt aside for her friend speaks volumes about this increasingly undemonlike demon.
In retrospect, Chloe’s understated response to Maze’s initial betrayal makes sense because, like her demon friend, she’s already concluded that the man wearing Lucifer’s designer clothes is not who he pretends to be. We get a wonderful scene between the two as Chloe reassures Maze that their friendship hasn’t been destroyed. “You’re trying to apologize in your very awkward demon way,” she tells Maze before confessing that she’s also decided to take her relationship with Lucifer to the next level. And speaking for much of the fan base, “I think we’ve waited long enough.” Yes, Chloe, we agree.
The theme of change runs continuously through the series, and even though Chloe’s insistence to Michael that she likes the new Lucifer, the subtext of her mini-speeches should become even more significant once the Devil returns to Earth. Michael  flips the script and conducts a serious interrogation of guest star Sharon Osborne as Chloe does her best to insert innuendo filled commentary into the process. Of course, Osborn thinks she’s talking to Lucifer when she expresses gratitude for the help the Devil provided her husband Ozzie – “From one Prince of Darkness to another.” Kind of cheesy, but I still like it.
That said, on the surface, it’s difficult to believe Amenadiel fails to immediately recognize Michael, but taken in conjunction with his preoccupation with baby Charlie’s safety, we’ll cut him some slack. The dynamic between Luci’s brother and his human wife is priceless as is the image of him carrying his son around strapped to his chest as Lux patrons go about their hedonistic business in the background. However, it’s Linda’s confrontation of Lucifer at the precinct that crystallizes her concern. “Who’s watching Hell?” 
On the other hand, Amenadiel can rest assured that Lucifer has the demon population of Hell well in hand, but his willingness to risk his family’s safety for the sake of the human race shows just how much he’s changed in his time on Earth. Amenadiel understands the havoc his siblings can cause and must feel it’s worth the risk to ask Lucifer to return to help prevent a potential apocalypse. It’s hard to believe Michael has given up his quest to bring his twin to heel, so we now wait for his next move and anticipate Tom Ellis’ dual portrayal.
The episode’s title makes a not so subtle reference to the 1970s sitcom The Brady Bunch, and the murder investigation of one of Anders Brody’s (sounds like Brady) participants in his Red Mars 2 project takes a back seat to the turmoil caused by Michael’s appearance. The cultural references work as Lucifer takes control in Hell while Brody backs a mission to put the first manned colony on the Red Planet. The revelation that Brody actually fears going into space and the project only serves as a publicity stunt in his competition with industry giant Jeff Bezos and real-life SpaceX founder Elon Musk seems a bit silly in hindsight.
Once Lucifer found its footing during its early seasons and established the complex web of interpersonal relationships engaged in by both humans and celestials, the procedural aspect of the show has gradually moved further into the background. Yes, the parallels between aspects of the criminal suspects and the challenges the core characters face in their personal lives continue to have meaning, and “Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucifer!” certainly continues that trend. It’s just that the complexity of the crimes and subsequent investigations don’t resonate as they once did. And that’s okay.
Needless to say, the episode bombshell Michael drops on Chloe as he slinks away, looks to drive the subsequent narrative, and her relationship with Lucifer faces perhaps its greatest test yet. Will Michael’s pronouncement that she’s merely a “gift from God” put on Earth to be Lucifer’s plaything resonate, or will she consider the vast body of work that comprises her history with her long time partner? 
While Michael’s interference may not be enough to sustain interest for very long, Lucifer quickly puts into motion several plot subsets that should have more staying power once the Devil returns to Earth. Lines are beginning to form, and yet again, Chloe finds herself caught in a web spun by others whose motives clearly do not align with hers.
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